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internetgremlin-writes · 9 months

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So happy to see you back Iggy! Hope you’ve been good 🫶🏼

Hiiii!!

I'm back and I'm SO happy to be back ❤ even if I'm not posting daily I'm back to lurking in my happy place and working on things again!

Anon I've been so good!! Shit was a bit rocky at the start of the year but since then I've managed to find myself a new boyfriend who I ADORE (its sickening, its embarrassing, he's so incredibly carlos coded you will be hearing more I'm sure 👀), I passed all my final exams and last week I officially graduated as a doctor and had a final ball with all of my uni friends which was so wonderful and wholesome 🥺 and I got myself a nice job lined up to start in September which I'm equally terrified and excited about

I also had to move out of my student house of 3 years and back into my childhood home which involved totally redecorating my bedroom which hasn't been done since like 2008? Maybe? 🙃

I've also (obviously) been really enjoying watching my first full F1 season and I've managed to not miss a race yet (a small win for someone with my schedule lol, and it helps new boy is also a fan!) Although do I want to talk about the red team? No. No I do not 🤡

Anyway I'm back, I'm happy and I love all of you, new fans or old readers who've waited for me through the last rollercoaster of a year 😅☺️

#iggytalks #its been a crazy 6 months #like crazy #just life changing event after life changing event #everything i thought i knew about myself #everything i thought i needed or wanted to be happy?#changed #complete 180 but wow I've honestly never been happier

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mia-martian · 8 months

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THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS MADE ME A SIMON LIKER

I N E V E R UNDERSTOOD WHAT GIRLIES BE SEEING IN THAT MAN BUT. N O W. I. G E T. I T.

I SEE THE VISION, BETTY- I SEE WHAT YOU SEE- AND NOW I AM SUFFERING

DAMN YOU, PETRIKOV !!

You sAD OLD MAN !!!

#im so /unserious im having the best/worst time of my life #i can't recover #new episodes came out btw #fionna and cake #fionna and cake spoilers #simon petrikov #i am not sane #adventure time #my worldview is shattered #everything i thought i knew about myself was wrong #i love this show #i also hate it #but i love it #but i hate it #i love it

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dayurno · 21 days

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#i will warn you only once: tsc spoilers #literally just finished it as i am drafting this its 5am where i live #so you may be subjected to some nonsense #that all being said i have thoughts.and feelings #the kevin was lovely and tasted delicious! jean defending him at every turn even when he swears to hell and back he'll kick his ass #the kevjean was surprising i was only half expecting that #the dog metaphors i have to say i need this one cashed in. nora run me my check #im joking of course dont quote me on it #jean taking kevins promise to the end and living on it is seriously so. well.#'be careful with him' 'take kevin's name out of your ignorant mouth' 'you promised me'#also kevin getting called the court's queen had me tender and on my back oml #jean's relationship with the trojans is sweet and he is very interesting and complicated #a character with many moving parts im sure #there were a few things i did not care for #namely jeremy and the trojans felt remarkably flat to me bar lucas (by far the most interesting) and catalina on occasion #i didnt quite enjoy jeremy's pov and felt like he spent perhaps way too much time worrying over jean? if that makes sense #i wish he had some more complexity to him or really anything to catch a hook on #all we know is hes attractive and smiley and gets along terribly with his family #so much of his character is sucked out by jean he didnt feel like much more than a plot device to me #which i wouldnt mind if jeremy wasnt the literal main character alongside jean #i was living for everything jean thought but had to drag myself through jeremy's pov if im honest #uuuuh what else. neil! funny. deranged. i have to love him #andrew couldnt give less of a fuck about jean which is funny as all fuck #two bugs placed in the same habitat ignoring each other #the thing with elodie i thought was complicated. i wish we knew some more about her or that shed been mentioned a little earlier #but im assuming thats a topic to be revisited #uuuuuuuh yeah so thats most of it. i think my first thought and the one that sticked out the most to me is that the book felt remarkably #pedestrian #not necessarily in a bad way #it lacked to me one of the main appeals of aftg which were the numerous interesting side characters

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sagittariangirl27 · 2 months

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Pisces new moon tonight. 🌑♓️🦇

#synchronicity #I thought about posting here but didn't really know what #.5 seconds later I scrolled past this #I wish there was a way for me to explain the magic of this world without sounding crazy #I need proof of everything and got dragged into spirituality kicking and screaming #I have always seen myself as more of a logical person than a creative #the last few years have literally been insanity #relearning everything that I ever knew about myself #pulling it all out and picking out the good pieces #there are things I miss about myself so much #and I am grateful to get those parts back while shedding the things that never felt authentic #I have been meeting myself again a lot lately #the craziest thing to me is how fast the years fly by #i don't sleep anymore #I was doing well with that for a while #but I know all of the work I am doing will mean so much #I basically got put in speed mode in my healing journey #it's crazy to look back only months ago and feel like a whole new human being #the moral of the story is I have no idea what I am doing or what is going on #but something is guiding me #and it is the scariest coolest weirdest most terrifying thing #that's the hardest part to keep inside I think #I have to figure out what to do with all of this knowledge #and I still have no fucking idea #it's going to slap me in the face because that's how they do this shit #and then I will be like omg my whole life makes sense #this has happened more times than I can count #a lot of people wonder how the spiritual people suffer so much if they have all of this knowledge #how the fuck do you think we got that?#I have been to hell and back more times than I can count

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count-doodoo · 3 months

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idk if this is a hot take or not but i would literally rather everyone just throw all their insults and criticisms of me at my face. like i'd rather just know. a) so i can fix the problems and b) because the not knowing drives me bonkers (what if everyone hates me, a social anxiety story. but seriously what if everyone hates me tho--). getting notes like "sorry to bother you but this thing you've been doing has been really annoying for awhile" is legit The Worst because we could've fixed that!!! i would've tried to do better if i'd known!!! i don't ever claim to be a good person, let alone a perfect person, but i do /try/ to be better!!! (but then again no one would be /wrong/ to assume that me attempting things scarcely results in success so like)

#honestly lbr the real reason i have social anxiety is simply because i myself am a fucking bitch #and thought crime doesn't exist bc what you don't know can't hurt you. that said if i knew anyone thought about me the things i've thought #about others. i think i would implode like some sort of dying supernova or something and burst into flames and vaporize out of shame and #probably an unhealthy dose of anger or whatever.#and it's not like i'm gonna assume everything has the same kind of brain as me. i know we're all different. but i also can't quantify how #because my brain is the only one i've ever had. it's the only one i've ever really known. my head is the only one i've ever been in.#why am i being so real on the dooku stan blog recently #fuck i need to go back to poop and fish jokes gdi #doodoo.txt #**again not fishing for compliments here just need to vent my brain's toxic fumes. actually i'm fishing for insults. degradation kink???#the entire world is probably just like i am once again asking you to go to therapy #jokes on you that's where the trauma's fro-- ok no shutting up now

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merry-the-cookie · 1 year

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GUYS!!!! GUYS!!!!!!!!!!! i commissioned the incredibly talented insanely cool and radical jay @tacogrande to draw my favorite dudes and im so happy loOK AT THEM........ ashtons lil smile 😭 michaels sleepy eyes 🥺 all of it so gorgeous

pls go give her a follow and check out all her socials and if you can commission her i cannot recommend it enough, i mean look at this dreamy lil portrait 🥺🥰💖💖💖

alt version under the cut cus yea i got tWO VERSIONSSS

jay has been an inspiration to me for so many years since i was a wee little teenager and ive learned soooo much from them and to commission her again after so long whilst still being a huge fan of their art felt like a full circle moment hehe will definitely do again <3 maybe complete the 5sos set dfhjGHFD

#my goal in life now is to get as many people as possible to draw mike and ash gfhjkHDFHJAGHJDFGHJDFGDHJF #me trying to keep myself from gushing too much about jays art in the post #very hard 🧍🧍🧍#fr tho i commissioned them for the first time in like 2016 for my fav glee trio and then my fav tokyo ghoul characters in 2017 #this is long overdUE!!!!#its been incredible seeing her art grow through the years and im always in awe of her flowy lines and stylization of people #honestly my thought process for the commish was 'i wanna see ashton in jays style' gfhjkGHJFDGHJDF i just knew she would draw him good ehehe #and the coloring style!!! and the palettes!!! so pretty im so #always looking to their art for inspiration!!!!#ALSO jay was the first 'big artist' to give me time of day if that makes sense gfhjGHJFDGDFJ like i vividly remember them being such a cool #person in the glee fandom esp if u did fanart cus a lot of big fanartists would only share other popular artists #and jay was out there giving space and attention to us lil guys startin out #i know it sounds a lil stupid but it meant everything to my lil 17yo self! built up my confidence like crazy #forever grateful for that!!!#ok i have rambled enough gfhjkGHJGDHFJ SORRY i just rlly appreciate jay and if u got the means id defo encourage you to commission her <3333 #michael clifford #ashton irwin #5sos #mashton #5sos art #EDIT ALSO JAY BOUGHT THE FIRST KEYCHAIN I DID EVEN THO SHE DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT DEAR EVAN HANSEN a real one fr fr

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teethbomb · 9 months

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alador blight fan mood board

#Im trying so hard not to engage I feel like a bomb #I know his arc was handled badly but the shortening of the owl house should be the give away #And I personally think that the boards weren’t only cut for time!!#People are really mad he was redeemed at all but I think we forget that this guy was intended to portray a victim of abuse #Abuse shouldn’t have to be physical for it mean something #No I am not excusing what he did what he did was shitty but what I am saying is I don’t think he knew that #He thought what he was doing was in the kids best interest and when amity confronted him his eyes opened #I’ve seen people call him spineless and “woobified” and that is lost on me entirely #He stood up to Odalia and broke everything when he found out about her goals #He still has his temper he’s just not lashing out on his kids #Claims of him being turned soft don’t make sense to me because he’s been chasing butterflies the whole time! He was under Odalia s thumb #Until he learned it was hurting his kids and he stood up.#His arc isn’t perfect it’s far from it but the guy was in an abusive relationship for most of his life #I Can see the disconnect some are having but I think we’re really focusing too hard on some cut scenes #I Can see people getting upset with him especially those who relate to amity but I think it’s ironically pushing blame #Not everything can be pinned on Odalia but I think we should let abuse victims grow no matter their age #I guess it just makes me sad to see a character I see so much of myself in being dragged like this lol #Alador blight

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anarcho-masochist · 6 months

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It really is like my brain went, "Wow, those are powerful intrusive thoughts you've got there. You know what's more powerful? Your desire to see this guy traumatized. Have 1.5 days of maladaptive daydreaming about them."

#I'm predicting this will continue for what's left of today #'pulled myself out of it' now but just enough to do things like post online and eat #I predict I'll return #I got up for the first time today (it's 7pm) and was suprised at how weak and shaky i felt #thought 'it is almost as if I experienced everything from the daydream. the power of one's mind over their physical well-being truly is #exceptional isn't it?' and then realized since I hadn't gotten up today I hadn't eaten and 'breakfast' was in the daydream #(was having trouble remembering whether it was or wasn't)#and of course knew I hadn't yesterday save for breakfast #which was real. I ate it outside and it was nice.#oh yeah and yahto fronted for like 10 minutes earlier but all he did was respond to our friend on the main blog and then we switched again #So it really has been a solid 1.5 days of nothing but daydreaming #Not about Cedar this is about the other one #Cedar also featured prominently. He just wasn't the main draw.#It was a coherent plotline but I wouldn't tell not-cedar the details of it on pain of death #I need something to call this person other than “not-cedar” or just using pronouns that WILL NOT communicate to them that it's them #And it's technically people not person but I don't know which they prefer #100% of people I've gotten obsessed with are also plural (all 2 of them) (or 14(?) depending on how you count it)#(Actually. Since I'm specifically obsessed with Cedar not his whole system it's more like 6? people)#(I'm not sure if there's a particular alter I like the most in the second system)

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phantom-does-a-thing · 24 days

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It’s almost worse knowing they hurt me unintentionally because I don’t have any right to hate them. It was an accident, they didn’t know, but still I have breakdowns at the mention of them and they don’t even know.

#I haven’t talked to them in months #and by god I don’t want to talk to them again #because it hurts So Bad #and I’m not even in the right to hate them bc they didn’t do it on purpose #I’d rather them do it on purpose because then I could hate them #because I’m angry and upset and I had a panic attack last night about it #this person who probably doesn’t even think about me for a second #and they’re constantly in my mind making me feel like crap #that’s not fair #I hope my name is never in their thoughts again and I hope they always wonder why I stopped talking to them #I wanted closure before but it’s too late for that because it’s been long enough that #wtf would I even say?#you hurt me. you abandoned me? but I’m the one that stopped talking #it felt like you abandoned me and I didn’t have the energy to keep up a one sided talk #when I know there were people who would talk to me #I know you’re busy. but at least something would be nice #I’m needy. and clingy. and I KNOW that #but still. it hurts because it’s like everything I always get left behind and they’re the PRIME example of that #I don’t even know why they hurt me so bad #maybe it was because it was someone I trusted completely #someone that I was closest to above all else above everyone else #I trusted them. I loved them. we talked about getting to meet up one day #but I hope that when they come up here I am Long Gone and they never think of me again #I trusted them enough they knew my state. I trusted them with parts of myself I barely trusted anyone else with #and the absence hurt like hell #and there wasn’t even one big event to break it off #just a slow deterioration in anxiety and stress that sometimes bubbled up in a message #but I always kneecapped the conversation because never was a good time to have it #and then just no more messages #I should block them. but I don’t want to ruin all the messages we had

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solradguy · 2 years

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Some clowns are posting about it in the tag and I've gotten a bunch of new followers recently interested in GG Strive, so I just wanna take a sec and remind everyone that Strive's arcade mode, the part of the game where Bridget (with encouragement from Goldlewis and Ky to decide for herself how she wishes to identify) decides that she is a girl after all, doesn't have "bad" endings. It's not like the last games where certain routes lead to really obviously unfortunate outcomes. Bridget being referred to with she/her pronouns in text (like her official bio and ArcSys tweets) confirms that the ending where she realizes that she is a girl after all is her canon ending for the arcade mode. ArcSys do their localization (ie, translations) in-house so saying it's a mistranslation doesn't have even a toe to stand on either.

And for the love of all life PLEASE stop using machine translators for Japanese. They are all notoriously bad at Japanese because of how nuanced the language is. Yes, even DeepL.

#groomed #textpost #Sorry I keep posting about this specifically but god I wish I had encouragement back when I was questioning like Bridget #Goldlewis and Ky being supportive and making sure that Bridget makes this decision on her own but that she also knows she has support for-#-whichever decision she decides to make just hits me right in the feels #All trans people being into being trans is a stupid fucking no braincells take #I'm trans but I didn't know it was something you were allowed to do until I was like 20 #Everything I knew about trans people before then depicted them as a joke or everyone hated them or they 'regretted' it bc it was a story-#-written by some transphobe shithead #I WISH I had someone who sat me down and was like 'this is a thing you can do if it feels right to you but it's only a decision u can make'#I ALWAYS knew something wacky was going on with my gender but I never confronted it until I was like 24 #I had these feelings DESPITE being raised in an environment EXTREMELY hostile towards trans people #So fuck you if you think trans people can only be groomed into being trans #I wasted so many years hating myself and who I was because I thought if I changed my gender I would be hated and a joke #Then I finally did it and I'm so happy with myself now #I used to legit be unable to look at myself in the mirror I hated myself so much #Now I'm fucking jacked and wear whatever I want and I love myself so much #I'll crush every transphobe skull under my giant goth boot #Shit your guts out & die 1000 agonizing deaths if you think Bridget didn't make this decision on her own based on feelings she's always had #Her and I are transitioning in different directions (I'm trans masc) but her story is so relatable #I have absolutely no tolerance for anyone talking bad about her and I will fight on this hill until the day I die

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beautifel · 7 months

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i. hate that i cant ignore any longer how fucked up i am

#ask 2 tag idk what to tag this but its negative. idk if i’m hormonal or whatever. it’s just that i’m so extremely emotional lately #like i always havebeen but it’s insane lately and i know some of the reasons but i have no idea what to do abt it. which is bad #i wish i knew how to confront …it all. im so avoidant it is genuinely pathetic #and even if i wanted to confront anything iwouldnt know how… n how to tell ppl around me #the pains ive taken to ignore my issues over the yrs n by that i mean suppress the knowledge that they even exist Lmao it is so pathetic #let alone the pains ive taken to hide from other ppl that which im suppressing. and to hide how badly i cope with anything #like any problem at all not just things that have anything to do with The Thing #i finally told my girlfriend about something i never thought id ever say out loud to anyone n it was so hard #the whole convo was so hard bc shes dealing with so much too and shes been getting help for 3 yrs n i know #with her baggage of trauma a relationship is one of the hardest things #n ive never ever regretted our relationship but with the things we are both dealing wtih. or rather not dealing with in my case #it is so . hard.. and i feel like ive been so unfair bc i havent been getting help even tho i need it. and she has.#the sheer irony of me refusing to get help or even admit 2 myself i need it even tho im literally about to be the person who helps others #this cannot go on lmao. the only thing im sure about is that i wanna spend my life with her but with everything tht we have on our plate #its so.. unsure i feel so powerless . i cannot change the past i cant change either of our previous experiences #its so unfair how we risk losing the best thing that ever happened bc of things out of our control #ive genuinely never been more scared of anything than i am of the idea of losing this relationship #we had such a deep conversation today and it was necessary and good but god we’re fucked up people #so i .contacted the uni psych today finally but im so fucking scared and idk what to even say when i get there #ive never until today said it out loud ive never even written it down anywhere

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spokelseskladden · 2 years

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no but actually, when I was like 16 I decided to get in deep with the cult, like fanatically deep. Donating my entire allowance and dedicating myself to biweekly bible study deep. Mainly because I had deluded myself into thinking that if only I could become a perfect jehovah’s witness, god would heal my crippling gender dysphoria by either taking pity on me and simply give me a dick and testosterone for the low price of my freedom and dignity, or alternatively taking it away all together and let me live my life blissfully as a cis woman for all eternity in paradise. The latter never sounded appealing to me, and I’m not going to pretend that the blatant sexism within the cult wasn’t a part of it at all, but even if you removed it, I still didn’t particularly care for having tits. I did realize that the former alternative probably wasn’t likely to happen in the end, and that’s probably one of the big reasons I never could admit to actually just being a guy, even though it was kinda obvious. Cause when you know you can’t ever have something, it’s easier to pretend you never wanted it in the first place, lol