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#every time katniss thinks of or compares something to peeta a part of me is hurt
everlarksquell · 3 months
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« Maybe his lover was already sentenced to death and he was trying to make it easier. To let her know he’d be waiting. Or maybe he thought the place he was leaving her was really worse than death. Didn’t I want to kill Peeta with that syringe to save him from the Capitol? Was that really my only option? Probably not, but I couldn’t think of another at the time. »
katniss comparing the lyrics of the hanging tree to the situation with peeta is crazy because when you think about it, it does fit them.
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mrsnancywheeler · 3 months
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the river (3) // finnick odair x f. reader
summary: the Capitol has taken you away from Finnick, the life you've been trying to build together and now he has to fight to get every part of you back
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warnings: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, mental illness, self-hate, suicid/l ideation, brainwashing, paranoia, mentions of trafficking, s/h in the form of scratching, breakups, no use of y/n, unedited, President Snow, threats, slightly mean!finnick towards conway
𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒
Finnick wanted to beg the doctors to see you, but he also was terrified of pushing you into another breakdown. So he'd settled for sitting outside the hospital room’s two-way glass at all times. He didn't sleep, he couldn't, nor eat so he just watched. At first you'd been sedated, but you were relatively calm if untrusting. Which was nothing, especially compared to Peeta who'd tried to kill Katniss. You were quiet, voice small and shaky except when your distrust took over.
A doctor had been trying to get you to swallow some pills with your water which you'd been adamantly refusing, “I don't know what it is."
“It's just a medicine to help fight off any infections you might have." The doctor explained and Finnick was grateful that she was more patient than the others. Yet you still looked uneasy, “We can go over what's in it and what it'll do if you want." The doctor suggested and you slowly, unsurely nodded. They'd showed you the bottle, read to you, and let you read the bottle information before you'd finally agreed to take it.
After hours of this Finnick couldn't help himself anymore, "I want to talk to her.” He abruptly stood from his chair and stared at the medical staff.
"She's calm right now, it might not be wise to do something that could disturb her.”
“Can't you just explain it to her somehow, I'll stay in a chair in the corner, won't move a muscle, you can handcuff me. I need to talk to her." There were sighs, hushed arguments before an agreement was eventually made. So, he stood outside waiting as the doctors tried to convince you to see him.
“Someone wants to see you now, if that's okay. He'll stay right in that chair, won't move at all, if you feel uncomfortable and you call out for us, okay?”
You looked at her, untrusting, "Who?”
She sighed and sat down on the hospital bed with you, she must have decided you were less of a threat and more someone who had to be communicated with. It hurt Finnick to know you'd let a doctor you'd never met so close, but were terrified of him. “You remember that you're married, right?"
“He wants me dead." It was like you couldn't get it off your tongue fast enough.
“No he doesn't." The doctor says, very decidedly and before you can get your next words out she insisted, “We'll all be right outside, so if he did want to kill you we wouldn't let him.”
You shook your head, “No, you wouldn't."
“Why do you think that?"
You laughed a little, “Because I'm a threat, you don't know what I did or didn't reveal, and everyone knows that I…” You trailed off. He couldn't grasp his head around the idea that you were still so attached to that perception of yourself, you did what you had to do, to stay alive.
"Coin granted all the victors rescued immunity. We've got no reason to want you dead.” Silence. You stared at her, she stared back at you. The words must have registered, but you seemed to be too deeply steeped in denial.
“I want to talk to Peeta.” The universe despised Finnick, he was sure of it.
"We can't let you do that.” She said softly.
"Why not?"
"He tried to kill Katniss Everdeen.”
You shook your head, "No, he wouldn't do that. They're just in his head, he'll remember.” The irony of it all, Peeta wanted Katniss dead, and you thought Finnick wanted you gone as well.
“Did they get in your head too?"
You laughed again, “No, no, they didn't."
“Then why do you think Finnick wants you dead?"
You take a deep breath in and sound frustrated, hands bunching up the thin hospital blanket, “They're not in my head! They just showed me what I wasn't paying attention to, I know what happened, and the things I've done. I'm not crazy.” Your voice shook like you were going to cry.
"No one here thinks you're crazy.” Finnick could tell there was more the doctor wanted to say, but was holding out in fear of you devolving. "He will sit in a chair the entire time and no one will let him any closer, I promise you."
Finnick prayed to whatever might have been that they'd let him have a moment, that he'd be able to help you. Your head was buried in your hands, “Okay." You finally muttered and he breathed a sigh of relief.
The doctor smiled, giving an encouraging squeeze to your shoulder as she stood up. Pushing the only chair in the room up against the far wall before exiting. Finnick was anxiously messing with his piece of rope when the doctor finally approached him. “You've got the go ahead, but stay in the chair, no sudden movements, it might startle her enough to make her panic."
“I understand." Finnick nodded and the doctor waited a moment before she opened the door, letting him slowly walk into the bright, white room. And there you were, legs pulled up against your chest like it would give you some extra barrier. He wanted to hold you, to tell you it was all going to be okay, but Snow had even taken that away from him so he sat in the chair. “Hi, sweet girl." He gave a soft smile while you wearily observed him. You were silent though, "Do you know who I am, angel?” He knew you did, but just needed to hear you say something, anything to him.
Every so slowly you nodded, hands rubbing at your neck, "Finnick Odair.”
He hummed a yes,"Mhm, good job. Do you know what we are?” Finnick tilted his head slightly.
You nodded, but it was like the words were stuck in your throat. Squeezing your eyes shut for a second, “I care about you."
He nodded, “We care about each other. We got married, do you remember that?"
“People keep saying it." Stinging pain covered his chest, Snow had taken what was left of your trust, your happiest moments, and left you with the husk of anxiety. “I'm sorry, I can't, I don't know." You hit your head with the bottom of your and started crying.
“Hey, hey, it's okay, don't do that, it's alright!" He wanted to leap up, move your hands away, and have you in his arms. “You don't need to feel bad, angel, can you just tell me what you do know."
Your face became sober almost immediately, “You want to kill me."
“No." He said just as fast, “I'd never want that-"
“You don't have to lie to me, I understand. I can't be trusted, it's a smart move." Hands were back to rubbing your neck.
"What you did to survive all those years ago, when we were teenagers, doesn't mean you're not trustworthy. I trust you." He felt like he was going to cry, he was back at square one, when you'd returned from your games, but now you didn't even trust him.
You shook your head rapidly, “You're trying to get in my head!" There the tears were and his elbows landed on his knees so he could hide the fact his hands served to hide his cries. The world would've been a much kinder place if he was dead, if you were dead, if everyone could just die and stop this endless circle of torture. This was his inescapable boulder he kept pushing up the hill only to see it roll down over and over again, maybe if he'd died the first time around or even in the quarter quell the finality of death would bring peace. His eyes must have been bloodshot when he lifted them from his hands, only to grab the rope again. He needed more rationality to talk to you, this could help him ground himself because if had to live, it had to be with you.
“You used to teach me to tie ropes." You eventually muttered out, curse you and the way you were trying to say something to help him when he was at his weakest, even though you were convinced he wanted you dead.
He looked up from the knot and tried to smile appreciatively even if his eyes were still watery, “Yeah, I did.” He swallowed even though his mouth was completely dry, "I am. I am teaching you to tie ropes.”
You maintained eye contact with him for a while, like you were trying to read into the depths of his soul and he hoped you would find how genuine he was being. You leaned your head back onto the wall, “I could always do most of the knots after the first few times, but I liked it when you would keep helping me.”
"I know.” He missed it, all the times you'd grumble about the activity until he was right behind you, hands on yours where you'd suddenly seem a lot less aggravated. Then you were sobbing and he dug his hands into the chairs arms rests to force himself to stay seated. Not being able to touch you, help you on top of trying to convince you that he loved you was like his own personal hell, so perfectly built.
“See I couldn't even stop myself from lying about that." You choked out through the tears, the rubbing of your neck was turning into scratching.
“That was endearing, I could never hate you for something like that, I could never hate you." You didn't respond to that, the scratching was getting worse, “Sweet girl, you're gonna hurt yourself, you gotta stop." He pleaded, but you were too far gone, muttering things too low to hear under your breath. “God, I can't even help you." Finnick could feel another tear falling down his face, he couldn't grab your hands, breathe with you, keep you comforted, it was eating him up inside and out. So he did the only thing he could, call out for the doctors who quickly marched in to stop you. That's when the yelling that could print his ears with the cacophony of your agony for all of eternity, began. It was remarkable how many people it took to hold you down and get you sedated,
Finnick wished he'd savored every moment he could've had with you. There'd never been a point in leaving you the first time, you were bound to be dragged into the Games, he wasn't the fire that burned you. He could've stayed with you, had so many more moments to think about. Time with you was precious, delicate and he would do whatever it took to have you back
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You were like heaven and he should have known that was something he wasn't worthy of. It was easy to forget that though when with each month he became more and more infatuated, it felt impossible to be as in love with someone as he was with you and so quickly. It just seemed like you understood each other, were so similar, but also filled the gaps for whatever the other lacked. He wanted to take you out every day and when he was feeling more impatient for your company he'd buy out the whole stock of crabs just so you could be off earlier. By the first month of going out he has noticed an interesting development in who Finnick considered to be the worst thorn in his side, Conway.
“Who's that?" Finnick had asked one day, tilting his head in the direction of Conway and a girl who he was with.
You smiled so brightly it made him want to live in a world where it was his sunshine, “Oh, that's Meena! They're going out now." Maybe that thorn was finally being removed.
"She looks just like you.” Finnick whispered slyly.
“She does not!" You rolled your eyes and glanced over at her, "I mean we have the same hair color. So maybe a little."
"And you're both similar heights, same face shape, I wonder if you both have the same eye color too.” You playfully hit his arm as a warning.
"It's better than him being single and moping around, it was kind of driving me insane how melancholy he was being.”
“Because he's madly in love with you." Finnick teased, hands on your waist.
“No, he's just got a crush because he won't talk to other girls. And now he's out of his shell.”
"Because he's madly in love with you and you picked me.” He smiled, leaning his face in closer.
"You're such a dick!” Yet you were smiling and your face was so close to his.
"No, I'm just saying how lucky I am.” You rolled your eyes again and Finnick used it as the perfect opportunity to kiss you which you instantly reciprocated. He was right about Conway and Meena of course, right after Finnick had broken your heart, he'd heard through the grapevine that they'd broken up. Conway was able to take his place back as having some sort of chance with you.
He'd miss the way you'd lay with your head on top of his chest at the beach, didn't stray away from being seen with him in any sense, if the Capitol cameras followed him around you would easily fall into keeping up his appearances for them, he should've been more cautious. When he was upset and couldn't tell you why, you'd hold him, rub his back, do anything to try and help. Which is why when Snow showed up at his house in Victor's Village he felt like any semblance of happiness was being torn away from his grasp.
“President Snow." He greeted, slowly walking inside of the room.
“Mr. Odair, the Capitol has missed you, so much in fact that I had to make this very disappointing visit.”
"I wasn't aware I was needed back so urgently, or else I would have come.” Usually he was notified of the visits, who wanted him now, and when.
"Of course you would've, but would you have been fully there?”
"I don't understand what you're talking about.”
"Your performance, to be enjoying their company, has been lackluster. People aren't convinced that you're, how shall we say it, emotionally present on top of everything else.” He wasn't, it was so much easier to check out of everything.
"I'm sorry.”
Snow hummed, "If people aren't convinced, they're dissatisfied, if they aren't satisfied then I'm dissatisfied, and we both know the outcomes of that.” Everyone he cared about dead, him lonely.
“Yes, I'll do better."
Snow's smile was so menacing, snake-like it sent shivers down Finnick's spike. “Good, we wouldn't want any complaints trickling down, would we?” He turned on a projection of something Finnick couldn't quite decipher. "She's very pretty, I'm sure no one would be pleased if the dissatisfaction continued.” Finnick felt numb all the way through, it was you, arms around him. How could he have been so stupid as to not think about you?
"It won't.” Finnick said quickly, voice choking involuntary.
"Oh good, I wouldn't want to have to get creative with it.” Snow rose from the chair, “The train will be here to pick you up in two days, Mr. Odair." Then the man who smelled of blood and roses was gone, abandoning Finnick with the feeling of lead in his stomach. He had to put as much distance between the two of you as possible, make you less of a target, shrink the one already on your back. He sunk into the chair he was closest to. Trying to remind himself to breathe as he tried to figure out how he was going to break your heart. How do you spend almost a year with someone, praising the ground they walk on and then suddenly leave them in the dust. He couldn't be cruel to you, not when you were so kind. The idea that you would put your walls up again and completely shut him out made his chest ache, a pain that threatened to tear him apart.
He'd have to give you up, condemn you to the life you didn't want to live. Watch as you lose the hope of something newer, something that wasn't expected and settled for the life everyone saw for you. Maybe that's why Conway made him want to be meaner, his blood boil, because deep down Finnick knew that if he didn't have you, Conway's persistence to love you would pay off. You'd stop being the girl who would barter for things she enjoyed if only for a moment, there would be no more fantasies of your soul finally feeling complete, the way you'd both felt together. To protect you, he'd have to put a damper on the dreams.
Finnick hated thinking about how he was supposed to see you that night, how he'd promised to meet you at the beach since you'd insisted you didn't care about the weather as long as you could see him. He'd have only as long as it took to shatter the hopes of being with each other to memorize you. Your smile, your laughter, your playful banter, the way your eyes twinkled, the smell of peaches and the sea, and tasted like peaches and vanilla. For the rest of time you'd only exist as moments he cherished in his brain, distance would be pivotal. No more escapes from your life to his lavish parties, that association would still be close enough to get you hurt, you'd have to be cut off from any droplets of the Fountain of Love he was to you.
He'd steadied himself when the clock had finally ticked to the time that told him to go to the beach, to his ending with you. Time to subject himself to a lifetime of acting for Panem and you to submit to fate. The fates that had decided you'd both had your run and needed to get back on the roads planned out for you. It was windy and cloudy over the ocean, like he was being mocked. He stood there, staring at the stormy horizon that lay ahead of him until you appeared.
“Hi!" The way you smiled like the sun made him think he couldn't do this to you, to himself. He solemnly nodded in response and your eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, you were so beautiful. “What's wrong? Are you not feeling good, we can just go inside, I'll make soup." This was a torture method, how was he supposed to hurt someone who wanted to take care of him at the slightest sensing of upset.
"No, I feel fine.” He said it too sharply and it visibly took you aback. You'd both bickered before, only when someone directly caused it, and then you'd both get over it. Usually someone would do something to get you both to laugh it off, but he'd never been harsh with you.
You crossed your arms like they would provide some sort of defense, the walls were already being put up as far as Finnick was concerned. “Sorry." You stopped looking directly at him, eyes focused on the sand, he wanted to say ‘No, I'm sorry. You're so sweet and you look so pretty.’ To kiss you, your cheeks, your forehead, for his lips to memorize you. The silence was brisk and awkward until you'd felt forced to break it, “So, are we swimming?" He shook his head and it was hard to miss the way you scoffed, “Okay, um, do you just wanna sit and talk? We can do that." How were you still so considerate and sounded so soft, when you were so annoyed? Maybe the barrier wasn't around you, but him because you made no move to give a comforting touch like you usually would, like you weren't sure it would be received well. “Finnick, if you're gonna be in one of your moods and not let me help, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna go home."
“I'm breaking up with you." It spilled off of his lips in a way that made him want to burn them off. He watched the look in your eyes go from concerned annoyance to sad shock.
“What?" The way your voice became shakier made him want to give up on the whole endeavor, say it was some fucked up joke he was dared to do. “What do you mean?" A small nervous laugh forced itself from your throat.
Finnick took a deep breath in, “I can’t be with you anymore.”
"Can't? What does that mean?” It would've been easier if you just cried and ran off.
"It's just not working out.” He didn't want to lie, say it's how he felt or what he wanted, but he had to get you away from the ticking time bomb.
"For who?” You sounded exasperated.
"I can't explain it, I just have to do this, it's better for you, for both of us.” He pushed down the part of him that wanted to start bawling, begging you to refuse to let him go. "I have to protect you.”
To his surprise you didn't pester on that question more and he watched a tear escape from your glossy eyes, "Don't say that.” You shook your head, bringing your hands up to your face to catch the tears. “You can't break up with me and say stuff like that, it's mean." He was confused and it was evident, "It makes me love you so much more.” No, no, no, no you couldn't say stuff like that when he was supposed to rid himself of you. It wasn't fair.
His fingers ran through his tangled hair, "I'm sorry. I really am, but it means you can't be around at all anymore, anywhere. You need to be as far from me as you can be." You tilted your head upwards, towards the sky, closing your eyes as you exhaled. "Say you hate me."
“What?" You looked at him.
“Say you hate me, hit me, tell me to go fuck myself, something. Be angry with me." He could feel the tears escaping, they were supposed to do that.
“Finnick, I'm not going to do that." Then you were unclasping the necklace, the one that you'd work every day since he'd given it to, and it was in your hands instead of around your neck.
“What're you doing?"
“Letting myself know it's over." Then the necklace was in the ocean, floating away, like any hopes and dreams of being with you. The way you'd built your walls back up, stopped crying, blocked him out from your feelings, astonished him. You trusted him enough to take him at his word, that he needed to protect you, and listened. Distance in the mind as well as in person. “Finnick, take care of yourself." You sent him a small, sad smile and then it was like the wind had blown you away. Out of his grasp forever.
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“She agreed to see you again." Finnick's head shot up, the doctors wouldn't let him stay in your room so he initially had planted himself in a chair outside. Eventually they'd just rolled in a hospital bed when they realized he wasn't going to be leaving. He'd spent every second diligently watching over you, making sure you were alright from afar. You'd been sedated most of the time since your breakdown before except when you ate and sat solemnly with your thoughts. “Same rules apply, don't get closer unless she asks, keep a calm, steady tone." Finnick nodded with the doctor's words waiting to be let in.
“I understand." The door clicked open and he was back in that chair across the room. “Hey, angel. Are you feeling better?" Your blanket was pulled up as far as you get it over your knee that was pulled up, holding your face up.
You slowly shook your head, “It's cold." And he couldn't be the heat to contrast that, he couldn't even rise to get you a blanket.
“I can ask them if they can make it warmer or at least get more blankets."
You nodded into your leg,"I'm so lonely, I know you want me dead, but I miss you so much and I'm not even sure why.”
Because you had to know deep down that he would move mountains to keep you safe, that all that had really come forward was from your own self hate. "Why don't we play a game.” You looked at him confused, "You ask me if something is real or not real when you're struggling to tell. Just those words and I'll help you figure it out, angel.”
"How am I supposed to know you'll tell me the truth?”
"You just have to trust me.” You observed him like you were waiting to see a crack in the facade, for a muscle to indicate his deceit. You leaned back in the bed, letting your leg rest.
"You hate me, real or not real.”
"Not real.” You stared at the white ceiling.
"Why not?” There was a beat of silence, "I'm perfectly deserving of it, so why not?”
"Anything you think you did that's worth hating yourself over was something that couldn't be helped, you're so sweet, I could never hate you just because your hand was forced when you were a teenager.” Your eyes shifted back down to look at him, “You don't have to believe me yet, there's a lot going on, but it's true. I love you more than the ocean loves the moon.”
"There's just so much going on in my head. I want to believe you so badly, but something in my head says I can't.” You covered your face to try and hide the fact you'd begun to cry. The things he would've given to kiss away your tears.
“That's okay, sweet girl, I have all the time in the world to prove to that voice otherwise." It was painful to stay seated, to know he had to regain all the privileges he'd once had.
You rubbed at your neck again which worried him to no end, “Can you come closer?”
Finnick wanted to jump up, but he couldn't. "Are you sure?” You nodded and he ever so slowly stood up. "How close?” He asked.
You took some deep breaths to calm yourself before you answered, "Over here."
“You're sure?"
Your breathing was shaky, “Yeah." He was terrified of scaring you away. So he approached cautiously to see if you'd eventually startle, but you didn't. Then he was standing right beside you and it was even harder now not to reach out. Ever so slowly you grabbed his hands, fingers tracing around his palms, each callous, and then you were trailing up to his face. He was confused, but didn't make a mention of it. Your fingers lead themselves around his face, rose with his nose, like they were memorizing each crevice of his face. He shuddered when he felt your touch, it had been so long and your cold hands soothed his hot skin. Then your touch was gone and he instantly missed it, longed for it back. “Thank you. I'm sorry."
“It's okay, sweet girl." You moved away from him and settled yourself laying down.
"Can you lay with me?” You whispered out.
"Of course, angel.” Underneath his facade he was ecstatic as he slid into the spot you'd left for him.
"Can you just keep your hands on top of you, so I can see them?” Your voice was so nervous.
"Absolutely.” His hands landed firmly on his stomach as he lay there with you.
Maybe now the long rope didn't seem as appealing.
𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒
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katnissmellarkkk · 6 months
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Only a couple more posts like this and then I’ll leave y’all alone but… I don’t know how to explain or articulate it properly but there is something I’ve never picked up on before that I suddenly caught when re-reading Mockingjay.
These two moments… when you compare and contrast them…
Gale’s touch and taste and heat remind me that at least my body’s still alive, and for the moment it’s a welcome feeling. I empty my mind and let the sensations run through my flesh, happy to lose myself. When Gale pulls away slightly, I move forward to close the gap, but I feel his hand under my chin. “Katniss,” he says. The instant I open my eyes, the world seems disjointed. This is not our woods or our mountains or our way. My hand automatically goes to the scar on my left temple, which I associate with confusion. “Now kiss me.” Bewildered, unblinking, I stand there while he leans in and presses his lips to mine briefly. He examines my face closely. “What’s going on in your head?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper back.
she says here she’s (somewhat passively) giving gale all that she withheld from him (when peeta, in her mind, was still a possibility) and thinks at least kissing him makes her feel somewhat alive, but even during the kiss she’s not present or focused on gale, and he catches onto that. but the portion highlighted is the important part of this scene. she is startled back into reality when gale calls her name and her awakening is the realization that this isn’t their way. she doesn’t even say “this isn’t my way” (as in, kissing isn’t something she does unless on camera for a show). and she doesn’t say “this isn’t our woods or our mountains or our home” (as in, this place is unfamiliar and strange and scary and that’s what’s disjointing her). no, she says “this isn’t our way”. because this isn’t what she does with gale. kissing gale feels alien and wrong in her heart. even with peeta out of the picture.
and then the second passage from later down the line in mockingjay:
Like the mutts. Like a rabid beast bent on ripping my throat out. And here, finally here in this place, in these circumstances, I will really have to kill him. And Snow will win. Hot, bitter hatred courses through me. Snow has won too much already today.
It’s a long shot, it’s suicide maybe, but I do the only thing I can think of. I lean in and kiss Peeta full on the mouth. His whole body starts shuddering, but I keep my lips pressed to his until I have to come up for air. My hands slide up his wrists to clasp his. “Don’t let him take you from me.”
peeta, who she claims to have given up on, is begging to be left behind. how many times has she claimed throughout this book that she wishes he was dead (either to end his suffering or to end her own)? and right here, she has just blown up the halo to mercifully kill finnick. she is so desensitized to death by this point. and she thinks she’s so desensitized to peeta. she doesn’t even want to consider he still is peeta. but here, when she has every reason to put him (and herself) out of his misery, she instead turns to kissing him. why? why would you kiss the monster who is actively fighting to not murder you with his bare hands? why would you kiss the boy you called a mutt? the one who you have already done your best to let go of? why would that even cross your mind as a last ditch effort?
because kissing peeta isn’t disjointing and it’s not something she only did for the cameras and it’s certainly not something she’s only doing passively. she’s kissing peeta to remind him who he is. to remind herself who he is to her. she’s tried so hard to stop caring for him, to sever the cord between the two of them, but in this moment she just can’t. she kisses him and says “don’t let him take you from me”.
because the act of kissing actually is their way.
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theymademesignup08 · 4 months
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Ranking the hunger games movies! (None of them are bad, I’m just biased)
5. Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes-
I really like this one and how it gave us more history of the world, and it also gave us Lucy Gray and Tirgris which is a blessing. It just feels really lifeless and like it wants to be done as quickly as possible despite it being almost three hours long. Rewatching it a second time was rough and I don’t think I would ever watch it by myself.
4. Mockingjay part 1-
Out of the main four movies this one is probably the weakest which is saying something because it still has it’s iconic moments but other than those moments you sort of just forget what happens in between them Jenifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson’s acting in this one is crazy.
3. Mockingjay part 2-
I really like how intense it is. Again it’s hard to remember stuff about this movie but compared to part 1 it’s a lot more exciting and has a lot more substance. Just thinking about the ending will always make me cry.
2- The Hunger Games
Where the other movies feel like just a very big sci-fi action movie this one feels a lot more human. The tone in this one is a lot more somber and it really shows the helplessness of the world. The riots in district 11 after Rue’s death is probably the most powerful and heartbreaking part of the series.
1- Catching Fire (wow I’m so different, no one has ever had this opinion before)
Every part of the world is at it’s best in this movie. The characters that they introduce like Finnick and Johanna are some of the best characters in the series from Katniss and Peeta’s relationship to the cliffhanger ending everything about this movie is just *chefs kiss*
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thesweetnessofspring · 5 months
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Since I love your headcanons so much, here it goes: Do you think Peeta had had other girlfriends or kissed other girls? 👀 I think it’s very ~interesting~ that the first kiss that makes Katniss want another is the first kiss where Peeta is fully present for, as in he is not in unbearable pain or high fever or feeling miserable, I thought that was very telling. Also, if it was his first time making out with someone it probably wouldn’t have left such an impression on Katniss. Of course, she also had no experience in kissing so that could be an explanation. However, he also said he noted just about every other girl and Katniss noted he was always surrounded by a crowd of friends so that makes me wonder. He was also an athlete and we know those boys tend to be popular with girls.
Thank you ☺️
Aw, well thank you nonny! Glad you appreciate these headcanons!
Interesting points that you bring up about for their first real kiss, Katniss enjoys it. So is Peeta experienced, is he that good naturally, and/or do he and Katniss just have that amazing of chemistry? 🎆
Well obviously I think that their natural chemistry plays a role in this, however, I headcanon that Katniss wasn't Peeta's first kiss. Not only does this boy seem to know how to kiss, but his flirting game is criminally good. Part of that is talent, but I do think he had practice. And tell me that half of the merchant girls in 12 weren't in love with Peeta (and probably some boys and Seam girls, too). Katniss was intimidating, but Peeta's so friendly someone was going to go for him.
Plus, Peeta admits to noticing other girls, but unlike Gale, he knows that detailing it isn't going to make Katniss feel good, so he doesn't show off about it.
I headcanon that Peeta had two girlfriends before Katniss, both pretty short relationships. His first one he didn't really like, but it was a her friends talked to his friends who convinced him to meet up with her and go out kind of situation. Peeta feels more like he's supposed to do it, because if he turns down this cute girl, his friends will think something's wrong with him, or worse, find out he actually likes Katniss! So he meets up with her, he has his first awkward kiss and they "date" but don't actually say anything to each other, and break up a week later. He's 13.
When he's 15 he thinks maybe this time he can get over Katniss. She's hanging out with the handsome Seam guy, after all, and they've never talked. So he finds a girl he has a bit of a crush on and starts flirting with her, asking her out. They get along much better than the first girl he was with, but every time he makes eye contact with Katniss, he knows what he's doing isn't working. They last a month before Peeta breaks up with her.
I know some like to think Katniss was the only one for Peeta, but I think part of the value of dating for 99% of people is learning who you don't work out with romantically as much as finding out who you do work with. Katniss was able to compare what she had with Peeta to what she had with Gale and come away knowing that Peeta is who she needs. I think it's just as important that Peeta gets the same experience. As much as Peeta follows his heart, he seemed to have thought his way out of pursuing Katniss, and in that had the opportunity to experience very early attempts at dating and discovering that you very well can't logic love. It's deeper and more compelling than that, and for all the reasons Katniss doesn't make sense, his heart knows it can only be her.
Thank you nonny! ❤
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deepdonutkid · 10 months
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Peeta’s and Katniss’ roles reversed Part 2
(Well, yes, that topic is still very much on my mind and I want to start writing this soon)
So... if Peeta’s and Katniss’ roles were reversed in Mockingjay and Peeta is the one who gets rescued from the arena and not Katniss, another thing I can’t stop thinking about is who is he stuck with in D13.
No matter who got saved or not from the arena, the Capitol would still taking it out on D12 to set an example and to punish the star-crossed lovers. Gale would still see the warning signs and start evacuating people. Still a lot of people would not react fast enough and therefore be left in D12, when the bombing starts. Peeta’s family would be among them and therefore be dead.
There he is, alive and somehow well, in D13. His family is gone, Katniss is in the Capitol and he is stuck with... sober Haymitch, crying Finnick and... raging Gale. Well, of course, there would be Prim, Mrs. Everdeen and Delly, but let’s focus on the male characters first.
Peeta, very much like Katniss, would definitely attack Haymitch, just not physically like she did, more like with words filled with spite and rage. “You promised me to safe her! You owed me this!” Uhm, and that’s still on the nicer end of things he would say to Haymitch. So, I’ll guess, they won’t be spending much time together at first in D13.
Finnick is still devastated about losing Annie, but Peeta can so hardcore relate to what Finnick is feeling and what he is going through, they would quickly become friends. Maybe even getting a room together, while Katniss and Annie are still in the Capitol. (Similar to Johanna and Katniss) They would be tying knots together and console each other during their breakdowns.
But because Peeta is approached by Coin to be the face of the revolution, it’s safe to say, at this point, Katniss is the only thing, he lives for. If she hadn’t saved him in the first Hunger Games and then was left behind in the Quell, he would not be standing here. He knows that. And we all read how tough he was, when it came to protecting her before the Quell, while she was still there. Just imagine him going absolutely feral and becoming a bad-ass motherfucker, while still remaining a good and decent person. (And yes, I very much believe this is possible, just say one word and I will elaborate the shit out of this one)
Therefore Peeta is forced to leave Finnick be Finnick for a while and start doing something to get Katniss and Annie back. (And Johanna and the other remaining Victors). And guess who is the most concerned about Katniss’ rescue and is also in a more important position in the rebellion?
Right, it’s Gale. And they would fight a lot. I mean, Katniss already picked every possible fight with Gale, and they were best friends at that time. I guess with Peeta it would have been similar or worse.
Gale would act very childish and bitter, because he saw the Quell, right? The beach scene, the goodbye kiss... Uhm, he is going to be jealous. Even if he doesn’t want to let it out on Peeta, he still has all that pent up anger with no way to go. (other than planning to kill civilians, lmao)
And Peeta on the other and could not leave some thing unsaid. Not about Katniss, actually, everybody knows his stance on this topic, but Peeta would be disgusted beyond compare, when learning about Gale’s war pinterest board with Beetee.
However, they both have the same goal in mind, so they would find a way to work together, even though it might take a while, since both have very different approaches handling stressful situations. They wouldn’t hate each other, but they are not going to become friends either.
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puckleberryfinnie · 9 days
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covey!reader in the quarter quell (the interviews - part one)
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wanted to give you guys a little bit of the next section! if I’m being honest, I don’t think the long written type of stuff is for me </3 how would you guys feel about more of a head cannon type of feel? I can definitely continue w this format though, we’ll see<33
summary: you receive a special message from someone and prepare for your interview!
You walked into your luxurious dressing room, expecting a rack of dresses for you to choose from. That’s how it had been throughout your entire tour- dressed up to unimaginable lengths, makeup caked on. Not that you minded, really. You’d always put in an effort of sorts when you had nights out performing with the Covey, though the Capitals luxurious full-coverage makeup was a bit varying from your mom’s old eyeshadow compact.
But this time was different. Walking into your dressing room, there was a singular dress hanging from the closet door. The dress was beautiful; though a bit simple for an event of this magnitude. There were tulle ruffles of varying colors tiered on top of each other for a skirt, and a corset-like bodice to match.
And there was a note laying on a table in front of it, a white rose laid on its side, adjacent to it. You cautiously picked up the note. It read:
Dear Miss Y/n,
I hope this letter finds you well. I enjoy the performance you’ve been putting on recently. I hope you don’t mind the last minute change of plans, but I would like you to choose a song of yours to sing to those in attendance tonight. I'm sure you’ll comply to these wishes, given you’ve been so insistent to do so on prior occasions.
You’ve become somewhat of a beacon of hope to the other tributes- make sure you’re spreading the message that will not leave those in charge in a distasteful situation. I can promise you that it will not end well for you.
I hope you find the dress I picked out to your liking- it was something of a style with your people when I was younger.
Wishing you well in the games this year- as well as you can, in any case
C.S.
You knew President Snow’s name from the stories told in the Covey. The songs still written on yellowed, crinkled music sheets by Miss Lucy Gray told you everything you needed to know about that man. You resented him for what he did to you and the rest of your family. So you picked a song you knew this man would remember. You’d memorized it at this point, as it was your favorite song of Lucy Gray’s. You remember To My Coriolanus had been written in between the lines of music notes- This piece would do just perfectly.
The threat was evident, of course, and you knew his powers well enough to comply to his guidelines. But the Covey could also put a little bit of a twist on anything- even in the face of a challenge.
You pressed your hands against the soft tulle, spinning around as the fabric twirled around you. It was a pretty dress that’s for sure. A little simple, compared to the many extravagant outfits surrounding you, but unique in every sense.
“Y/N, that’s such an certainly a colorful look you’ve got there. I like it,” said a glamoured Peeta leaning against a wall behind you. He gave you a silly smirk, tilting his head, watching you as you stopped your dancing,
“Oh, I mean, wasn’t really my choice, but thank you, Mellark.”
“Guess it’s a comfort to know I’m not the only one who had a something thrown on them without their opinion,” commented Katniss, stepping out from the shadows behind her partner. She, unlike you, had one of the most expensive, beautiful pieces you’d ever seen on- a wedding dress!
“Oh, Katniss, it’s truly-“
Welcome to the 75th’s Hunger Games’ tribute interviews! Be prepared for a night of glamor and drama, people!
You stood up, brushing the skirt once more and giving it a final look before getting into line. It’d be a moment, of course. But you, like everyone else, wanted to be prepared. Wanted to do everything you could with your likely final words to the public. That’s one way all the press training they’d put you through had backfired. You all knew how to work a crowd in any way possible. It made you powerful.
When your name was called, your level of popularity in the Capital was evident. Sure, they had handsome Finnick and love birds to fawn over, but you had something extra to you. You gave them something to grasp onto. Looks could fade, and, love could too, if you were honest. But music and art stayed forever. That showed with your performances.
The looks part couldn’t hurt anything, though, so you smiled as you walked across the stage to Caesar. You gave a wave to the audience, sitting down after giving a little twirl in your dress.
“Wow! Just… wow, darling! You certainly have something quite interesting on, don’t you? It’s lovely to see you, by the way.”
“Oh, same to you, Caesar!” You gave one of those fake giggled of yours, saved for only the situations in which they were necessary. “It certainly is something, I must agree.”
“Well, well, I did hear from a little birdie… that you have a little treat for us tonight… would you please tell us what that might be?”
“Of course! I’ll be singing for you all. Just something I whipped together for everyone tonight!”
The audience erupted with noise. The excitement filled the air quickly. It been a moment since you had sung for them last, and the Capitol was beyond excited. A live performance from you was something many had dreamed of. You stood up, getting closer to the microphone that’d been set up for you.
ok ok there you guys go!! you were just about to start singing but you’ll have to wait a little longer for that😚
to anyone who’s shown support in anyway, I love you soso much. It means so much to me <33
ps: this was briefly released for my birthday last week but I didn’t like it enough yet so if you saw it then- no you didn’t ;)
taglist (❤️🎀):
@randomgurl2326
@marvelescvpe
@h-kitty-world
love ya!!
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witchthewriter · 8 months
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𝑺𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒇𝒐𝒓 @crazylurkercatlady.
Thank you so much for your kind words. They really encourage me and help me keep on writing xx
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒
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𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏
𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑷𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒂! I think you two would fit well together because he would always be in your corner - but wouldn't be a push over. He would tell you how it is, but never in a cruel way or in front of others. Peeta is one of the greatest men, and he proves that to you day after day.
𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔
FUCKING FLOWERS. ALL THE TIME. He just gets you a bunch every day. You would have a garden full of flowers, but he wouldn't take it from there, he would go into town and buy a bunch for you.
Shows his love through acts of service and words of affirmation. He'll make you breakfast, always remember your favourite food and make it once every week for dinner.
Always stands up for you, especially when you cannot do it for yourself. He always has your back.
Is the first one to say "I love you", and he does so without any embarrassment.
He hums a lot! Not many people know that about Peeta. And he has a pretty good singing voice as well. It's what he does while gardening.
𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈
I'm Kissing You by Des'ree
𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔
Calm bf x Hyper gf
Aggressively Supportive & Protective Of Each Other
Tragic Past x Ray of Light
𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆
Forbidden Love
𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖
How open you are with him. (I hate comparing you to Katniss but I'm going to have to). With Katniss, it took so long for her to open up, and let Peeta in. With you, it's like he doesn't have to prove his love over and over again. You believe each other when you say "I love you". It's like a promise; a truth.
𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅
Finnick - I just think you two would be a blast together. I was originally going to ship you with Finnick, but I think you need a love that's sweeter, and slower. With Finnick, his mind is very fast-paced, which works with yours, but romance doesn't expel when you're together.
𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆
A mix between Katniss, Peeta and Foxface. I think you can come off as quiet, but there's so much going on in your mind. People don't see the amazing parts of you, because you haven't deemed them as safe people. You don't want to open up to just anyone.
𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕
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(I'm sorry the gif is so big omg)
This is your cat! You found him in the woods just outside your home. A survivor. A very sooky survivor who loves cuddles.
At first you just left food out for him, not wanting to catch him and have him think he was a hostage.
But he kept coming back, every day, at the same time. And on the fifth day, when he finished his food - he just ... stayed. Peeta wasn't against it one bit. He knew how much you loved animals, and was actually actively trying to find you a pet. Luckily enough, one came right to your door.
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐃
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𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏
𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑹𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒂! I think she is such a multidimensional character. She doesn't get enough credit for being as tough, yet sensitive as she is. I think she would understand you so goddamn well. Like on another level. Like no other person has. Especially in the group.
𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔
Physical touch was a slow part of your relationship. But in the moments when you wanted to kiss each other before going on runs or some big event, you would rest your foreheads together. And just breathe in each other's breath. It was a way of saying, 'you'll be apart of me.'
Everyone knew you had feelings for each other. Except the two of you. It was obvious and yet it took six months for either of you to make a move.
She calls you, 'Mi corazón' meaning 'my heart', and 'Mi vida' meaning 'my life' - in Spanish.
Rosita is aggressively protective over you. If anyone says one bad word, hell, if they even look at you funny, she will say something. Or rather, punch them in the goddamn face.
You like to make things for her. As well as fix anything that might be broken and important to her. That's when she knew she loved you - when you mended her only possession of her family.
𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈
Oui Oui Marie by Chelsea Wolfe
𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔
Love During An Apocolypse 
More Alike Than Different
Two Black Cats (compared to Black Cat x Golden Retriever. Neither of you like people that much so you're both black cat kinda people!)
𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆
Everyone Knows But Them
𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖
She adores your awkwardness and 'weird' nature. She thinks you're unlike so many people, that it's invigorating to be around you. You have so many different thoughts and ideas that her mind becomes more and more open.
𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅
Daryl; he just understands your lack of like towards others. He himself doesn't care for a lot of company. The two of you could spend hours in each other's presence, just doing two completely different things. Maybe a comment here and there, but you don't feel forced to be someone you're not.
𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆
A mix between Daryl and Michonne. I think you can be very badass when you want to be, and people would think of you as infamous in this world because of how you plan things out. It's impressive and you're a very dangerous foe.
𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕
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Rosita wanted him so badly. The white labrador reminded her of a pet she had when she was younger. And how could you say no to that?
Although you're more of a cat person, you don't discriminate against dogs. Even though this one is an absolute doofus.
𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒
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𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏
𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆! I'm talking the character developed Steve, who doesn't care about being popular or liked in town. That's also because of Robin's influence (who would totally love you btw). I think you two would work together because of how much he would cherish you. I think after like your official third date, he had marriage on his mind.
𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔
Oh my god, you already know Steve would treasure you so much. Everything you do surprises him; the way your brain works, how you think about things...he's so in love.
ALWAYS calls you in the morning (he knows the usual time you wake up) and calls right before bed (yes, he also knows your bedtime).
Likes discovering new movies with you; doesn't matter if they're in black and white, he still loves experiencing it with you. And then you have a bunch of inside jokes because you watched a black-and-white French noir film and everyone thinks you're crazy
He likes to crash girls' night (I mean, it's just you, Robin and Nancy). He loves being involved in the gossip too.
Will follow you into the bathroom, and you have to be like, "Steve... I'm going number 2" And he goes, "okay, I'll just sit outside the door." So he will legit just sit there and wait until you're done. And yes, he does start up a conversation.
𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈
The King by Sarah Kingsley
𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔
The Gomez & Morticia Adams (loving and devoted, you top)
Looks Like A Jerk But Has A Heart Of Gold (Steve) x Looks Like A Cinnamon Roll But Is Also A Badass (You)
"You wear the pants in this relationship" (You to Him) x "oh I wish, I cannot control you at all" (He says to You)
𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆
Mr and Mrs Bond.
(A badass detective couple who would die for each other.)
𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖
Your creativity, and introverted nature. He likes that there isn't pressure for him to go out. Because in all truthfulness, he doesn't like parties or being around a lot of people either. But he does cherish the moments when he can be around people he cares about.
𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅
RobIN! But also Nancy as well because I think you're a very smart person and these two girls love fellow smart women. You would be a trio, nearly infamous in Hawkins because you always stick together and stick up for one another.
𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆
A mix of Robin, Max and Nancy. I have this feeling that you're underestimated a lot, but have a lot up your sleeve. You know a lot more than others, and not just intellectually but also intuitively.
𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕
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You weren't allowed a dog, and your mother is allergic to cats, so you got a bun! Funnily enough, it actually chose you. As you were walking home from the library, you heard a rustle from the bushes, and out popped a grey lil bunny. Your eyebrows rose, and you had no idea what to do. Was it wild? It was so small though, and you couldn't help but want it. However, you did decide to walk a few steps and see if it followed. If it did, then you would take it home.
And that's how you got your bunny!
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theartofdreaming1 · 3 years
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Katniss, bravely stepping inbetween Gale and Thread (and his whip) - she’s so courageous and protective, she deserves the world 😭
As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and (many) random thoughts on chapters 7-9 are below the cut. (Is it just me, or are my notes getting longer and longer with each and every post? I swear, this book is so meaty, we’ll soon reach the point where I have to type out the entire chapter, with my thoughts in the margins)
heart
“Gale is mine. I am his. Anything else in unthinkable.” 
I think these words are a result of Katniss being so afraid of losing Gale that she’s kinda overcompensating; their relationship has been strained these past few months and they’d just had a row, separating from each other on bad terms - and the next time she sees him, he’s been whipped so bad that he’s lost consciousness and could be potentially dying from his wounds. Of course she’s so terrified of losing him, that she’s holding on as tightly as she can to him. It’s important to keep in mind how important their relationship is to her and we see that in her preceding thoughts: What a pair we were - fatherless, frightened, but fiercely commited, too, to keeping our families alive. Desperate, yet no longer alone after that day, because we’d found each other. I think of a hundred moments in the woods, lazy afternoons fishing, the day I taught him to swim, that time I twisted my knee and he carried me home. Mutually counting each other, watching each other’s backs, forcing each other to be brave. - Gale was the first person who was her equal, a kindred spirit, her partner. After Katniss had lost both of her parents when her father died and her mother succumbed to her depression - the people who were supposed to care for her and guide her through growing up - she was stuck with the role of sole provider and protector of her family at age eleven. She must have been so lonely all this time until she met this boy who understood what she was going through and they learned from each other and shouldered their burdens together, to take off some of the overwhelming pressure. Of course that relationship, of course Gale is important to her. But also now their relationship has become more fragile, after the Games they are in danger of growing apart - it’s got to be so terrifying to feel like the one proper, mutual relationship you’ve had seems to be slipping through your fingers. With everything that’s going on, her entire life as it is teetering on the razor’s edge (heck, the president himself has been threatening her and her family!), it’s no wonder that Katniss is craving that familiarity and safety that her relationship with Gale used to provide her with. And seeing Gale in this state just has her holding on to him more tightly than ever.
mind
Hmm, no big moment is coming to my mind right now; I think I’m always most impressed by the tiny moments that show how tenacious, resilient and fiercely kind humans can be - like Darius stepping forward to stop Gale’s cruel punishment, Leevy volunteering to tell Hazelle about Gale and promising to stay with the Hawthorne children, Madge bringing the morphling, Katniss pressing Darius’s hand in the Training Center, Twill taking Bonnie with her to flee to D13 and so on.
soul
I believe that Katniss was honestly surprised to learn that Gale had feelings for her; she had categorically shut down the idea of entering a romantic relationship for herself, so I don’t think she’d seriously consider anyone being romantically interested in her in return (that’s not how that works, of course, but I think that’s how she perceived the whole shtick). Their kiss threw her completely for a loop and if anything, she mostly saw it as something that contributed to the deterioration of their previous, easy and comfortable relationship.
Chapter 7
A mockingjay is a creature the Capitol never intended to exist. [...] They hadn’t anticipated its will to live. - In a way, the Capitol continues to make this mistake with the people living in the districts, too - underestimating their will to live (opposed to just surviving)
I look in his [Gale’s] eyes. His temper can’t quite mask the hurt, the sense of betrayal he feels at my engagement to Peeta. This will be my last chance, this meeting today, to not lose Gale forever. - Okay, we don’t know how much Katniss might be (incorrectly) presuming here, but the idea that Gale might feel betrayal because his best friend is being forced into an engagement pisses me off. It’s fine if he’s feeling jealous because she’s being paired off with Peeta when he wishes he could have a shot with her, but how in the world does this even rate as a betrayal?! A) It’s done against her will and B) Just because they’re friends doesn’t mean Katniss owes him anything when we’re talking about romantic feelings... Ugh 😒 Also, it’s quite noteworthy how insecure Katniss feels about their relationship - she’s constantly worried Gale will drop her and their friendship (waiting for Gale after the camera teams left after winning the Games: I’d begun to think that he’d given up on me in the weeks that had passed.- Ch. 2) and it doesn’t help that she’s been through that extreme, traumatic experience without him and they haven’t had much opportunity to spend a lot of time with each other (with the Victory Tour and Gale having to work so much) and when they do hang out, they don’t seem to really talk much, which doesn’t exactly help...
He [Gale] tosses the gloves on my lap. “Here. I don’t want your fiancé’s old gloves.” “He’s not my fiancé. That’s just part of the act. And these aren’t his gloves. They were Cinna’s,” I say. “Give them back, then, he says. - Gale can be so petty sometimes 🙄
While I talk, [...] [Gale] occupies himself with turning the food in the leather bag into a meal for us. Toasting bread and cheese, coring apples, placing chestnuts in the fire to roast. I watch his hands, his beautiful, capable fingers. Scarred, as mine were before the Captiol erased all marks from my skin, but strong and deft. [...] Hands I trust. - Oh boy, this moment really shows how these two are at cross purposes right now - Gale’s prepping the food as you would for a toasting (romantic connotation), while Katniss is oberserving his hands, thinking how their hands used to match (not anymore!) and basically wishing herself back into the time before the Games, when things were ‘simpler’/more clearly defined (and also platonic!); there is nothing romantic from her P.O.V. - it’s all about the friendship and trust
[Gale] steps in and I feel myself lifted off the ground. The room spins, and I have to lock my arms around Gale’s neck to brace myself. He’s laughing, happy. “Hey!” I protest, but I’m laughing, too. Gale sets me down but doesn’t release his hold on me. “Okay, let’s run away.” [...] “You’re sure?” I say. [...] “I’m sure. I’m completely, entirely, one hundred percent sure.” - Yeah, and I’m sure you’re not going to change your opinion in the next five minutes, Gale... In his defense, Gale didn’t know all the details, so in that regard it’s totally valid that he might decide to change his mind after having more input... It’s just that Katniss specifically asks him whether he’s sure and his reply is so full of conviction (100% sure!), only for him to do a complete 180 just a couple of minutes later; Gale’s very hot and cold, which makes for such a harsh contrast when compared to Peeta’s more measured reaction later in the chapter
He tilts his forehead down to rest against mine and pulls me closer. [...] I don’t try to move away. Why should I, anyway? His voice drops to a whisper. “I love you.” That’s why. - Oh man, Katniss just can’t catch a break 😞 Really not wise of Gale to drop the L-bomb here (after, what? a kiss they never talked about and little else... their communication is truly abysmal and it’s really damaging to their relationship, hurting the both of them)
“Gale, I can’t think about anyone that way now. All I can think about, every day, is how afraid I am. And there doesn’t seem to be room for anything else. If we could get somewhere safe, maybe I could be different. I don’t know.” I can see him swallowing his disappointment. “So, we’ll go. We’ll find out.” - I mean, honestly, I totally understand where Katniss is coming from - she doesn’t need a romantic interest, she needs a partner, which is why she’s been so eager to talk to her hunting partner, someone she’s used to rely on for survival and now he’s also confounding their relationship by introducing that romance-angle (as if it wasn’t bad enough that her relationship with Peeta got kind of messed up when that same angle was forced upon them prematurely)... Also, telling how Katniss thinks she’d have to be different to maybe even consider a romantic relationship with Gale - Katniss as she is right now just can’t see herself wanting to be with Gale romantically; it would require a change... I’ve got to give Gale credit for still going along with it, and trying to push past his disappointment, though
“My [Gale’s] mother is going to take some convincing.” [...] “Mine, too. I’ll just have to make her see reason. Take her for a long walk. Make sure she understands we won’t survive the alternative.” “She’ll understand. I watched a lot of the Games with her and Prim. She won’t say no to you,” says Gale. - That’s interesting, I wonder what exactly Gale means by that? That Mrs. Everdeen won’t say no to Katniss because she feels guilty that Katniss had to go through the Games or because watching her daughter compete in the Games really made her realize how messed up Panem is? Or that she’s more inclined to trust Katniss’s judgement after everything that has happened?
“Haymitch will be the real challenge.” “Haymitch?” Gale abandons the chestnuts. “You’re asking him to come with us?” “I have to, Gale. I can’t leave him and Peeta because they’d-” His scowl cuts me off. “What?” “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how large our party was,” he snaps at me. - Gale doesn’t seem to have realized how close and important Peeta and Haymitch have become to Katniss... maybe because they never properly talked about this aspect of Katniss’s life (I swear, their shoddy communication must account for at least half of the damage their relationship has taken in these past few months alone)
“What if he [Peeta] decides to stay?” he [Gale] asks. I try to sound indifferent, but my voice cracks. “Then he stays.” “You’d leave him behind?” Gale asks. “To save Prim and my mother, yes,” I answer. “I mean, no! I’ll get him to come.” “And me, would you leave me?” Gale’s expression is rock hard now. - Boy, oh boy! I think Gale knows (like Peeta) that Katniss could never leave behind the people she cares about; then, he’s kind of gauging whether Peeta has already received the Katniss Everdeen Stamp of ‘Caring’ - and, as it turns out, he has! And then Gale ends up making it into a bit of  competition by asking her whether she would leave him behind (or, alternately, her turning him down has him confused about the depth of their relationship, I dunno); not fun
“There’s an uprising in Eight?” he [Gale] says in a hushed voice. I try to backpedal. To defuse him, as I tried to defuse the districts. - Katniss is going to be about as successful as she’d been at defusing the districts, too - But here we have another example of Katniss trying to rein in Gale’s temper because she’s afraid he’s going to get himself in trouble (like when she decided not to tell him about Snow’s visit to her house because she was worried what he’d do with that information)... It’s really not great that she feels the need to censor herself so he won’t do something dangerous... Katniss knows first-hand how badly impulsive actions and decisions can be received in the Capitol - and she never even meant for a rebellion to happen!
“And it’s my fault, Gale. Because of what I did in the arena. If I had just killed myself with those berries, none of this would’ve happened. Peeta could have come home and lived, and everyone else would have been safe. too.” “Safe to do what?” he says in a gentler tone. “Starve? Work like slaves? Send their kids to the reaping? You haven’t hurt people - you’ve given them an opportunity. They just have to be brave enough to take it. - Katniss is taking all the responsibility upon herself again... Gale is right to point out that she was merely a catalyst, not the cause for the rebellion - the cause are the awful living conditions of the people in the districts
“Stop it! You don’t know what you’re saying. The Peacekeepers outside of Twelve, they’re not like Darius, or even Cray! The lives of district people - they mean less than nothing to them!” I say. “That’s why we have to join the fight!” he answers harshly. “No! we have to leave here before they kill us and a lot of other people, too!” [...] “You leave, then, I’d never go in a million years.” [...] “What about your family?” “What about the other families, Katniss? The ones who can’t run away?” - This discourse is so painful because they are both right - Katniss has seen more of the districts and how things are handled beyond the (relatively tame) confines of D12 and it’s fair that she wants to know that the people she cares about are safe from harm; Gale, of course, has a point commenting that not everyone has that opportunity and the only way to have a long-lasting, wide-spread improvement of their conditions is through rebelling against their oppressor - but that will inevitably come along with sacrifices and collateral damage and it’s easy to say that it will be worth it in the long run, but when those who are hurt/dead could end up being your loved ones, it’s definitely easier said than done
He throws Cinna’s gloves at my feet. “I changed my mind. I don’t want anything they made in the Capitol.” And he’s gone. I look down at the gloves. Anything they made in the Capitol? Was that directed at me? Does he think I am now just another product of the Capitol and therefore something untouchable? The unfairness of it all fills me with rage. But it’s mixed up with fear over what kind of crazy thing he might do next. - Gale getting rid of Cinna’s gloves just because they are from the Capitol is a prime example of this “us vs. them” mindset that he will be (worringly) fast to adopt - of course, perceiving the opposite side as “other” will make it easier to fight against them; however, it’s all too easy to lose sight of your opponent’s humanity when you think like that (think of how Gale has a hard time understanding Katniss’s distress upon seeing her prep team being treated so terribly/inhumanely in D13); Katniss feeling upset that Gale might perceive her as a product of the Capitol instead of its victim is understandable (and isn’t that exactly what the inhabitants of D13 are going to think of Peeta in MJ?) - and yet, she is still worried Gale could get himself into trouble with his impulsivity; she’s a good bean
”Going to town?” I ask. “Yes. I’m supposed to eat dinner with my family,” he [Peeta] says. - I’m tripping over the word ‘supposed’ here - it doesn’t sound like Peeta’s looking forward to hanging out with his fam, although it can’t be that often, since they’ve been away on Victory Tour and he is living alone (maybe the end of the chapter will give us another hint why that is 😒😒)... I can’t help but wonder whether these family dinners are mainly for public perception (in that case... it really is no wonder Peeta is so good at playing the cameras - poor guy had to fool the outside world his entire life) or because they are the only chance for Peeta to hang out with any of the members of his family he might actually want to spend some time with
“Peeta, if I asked you to run away from the district with me, would you?” Peeta takes my arm, bringing me to a stop. He doesn’t need to check my face to see if I’m serious. “Depends on why you’re asking.” President Snow wasn’t convinced by me. There’s an uprising in District Eight. We have to get out,” I say. “By ‘we’ do you mean just you and me? No. Who else would be going?” he asks. - Peeta doesn’t just blindly agree to Katniss’s proposal; he needs to know what’s going on first (he has been burnt before - no more secrets!) - and it’s a testament to how well he knows her that as soon as he’s asking whether she meant just the two of them, he corrects himself because knows that Katniss would never leave the ones she cares about behind
“What about Gale?” he says. “I don’t know. He might have other plans,” I say. Peeta shakes his head and gives me rueful smile. “I bet he does. Sure, Katniss, I’ll go.” I feel a slight twinge of hope. “You will?” “Yeah. But I don’t think for a minute you will,” he says. [...] “Then you don’t know me. Be ready. It could be any time.” - Telling how Peeta immediately agrees to the plan once he gathers that Gale won’t come - he knows that Katniss cares about Gale and could never leave him behind, ergo she’d never actually leave under these circumstances - he knows her so well. Also, Katniss’s reaction is like that of a petulant child, it’s kind of funny 😄
“Katniss, hold up.” [...] “I really will go, if you want me to. I just think we better talk it through with Haymitch. Make sure we won’t be making things worse for everyone.” - Ultimately, Peeta would follow Katniss to the ends of the earth - doesn’t mean that he can’t throw in a sensible suggestion in there as well 😉 (Also, in the next chapter we will see how Katniss, Gale, and Peeta might be a little too inexperienced/naive to be able to form accurate expectations of what is to come - Haymitch and his generation have a little more experience in that regard)
He raises his head. “What’s that?” [...] I haven’t noticed the strange noise coming from the square. A whistling, the sound of an impact, the intake of breath from a crowd. “Come on,” Peeta says, his face suddenly hard. I don’t know why. I can’t place the sound, even guess at the situation. But it means something bad to him. - Why does my sweet boy know what a whipping sounds like, Suzanne, huh?! Care to explain that? 😭
Peeta steps up on a crate against the wall of the sweetshop and offers me a hand while he scans the square. I’m halfway up when he suddenly blocks my way. “Get down. Get out of here!” He’s whispering, but his voice is harsh with insistence. - Peeta was offering his hand to help Katniss up the crate because they are a team (and he’s a gentleman)! It’s only when he recognizes who is receiving those lashes and realizes that Katniss will lose her shit once she knows, which could make the current situation even worse, that he urges her to leave, and he is not the only one to think that: - Voices hiss. “Get out of here, girl.” “Only make it worse.” What do you want to do? Get him killed?”
Chapter 8
It’s too late to stop the arm from descending, and I instinctively know I won’t have the power to block it. Instead I throw myself directly between the whip and Gale. I’ve flung out my arms to protext as much of his broken body as possible, so there’s nothing to deflect the lash. I take the full force of it across the left side of my face. - Katniss is so selfless; she knows that it’s either Gale getting hit again or a lash to her own face and she chooses the latter
“Hold it!” a voice barks. Haymitch appears and trips over a Peacekeeper lying on the ground. It’s Darius. [...] He’s knocked out but still breathing. What happened? Did he try to come to Gale’s aid before I got here? - Haymitch sure appeared quickly - I can easily imagine Peeta taking off immediately to get him (or send someone to bring him to the square) once he knew Katniss couldn’t be stopped; but if Haymitch had been at his house in Victor’s Village, there is no way he’d have made that quickly to the square... maybe he was already at the Hob and had gotten wind of the whole situation? Also, poor Darius! Wearing a uniform/being in some sort of position of power is no guarantee you won’t get punished as soon as you show the tiniest glimpse of compassion - in a place like Panem, nobody is safe from the caprice of the people in charge
I see a flicker of recognition in the eyes of the man with the whip. [...] it wouldn’t be easy to identify me as the victor of the last Hunger Games. Especially with half my face swelling up. But Haymitch has been showing up on television for years, and he’d be difficult to forget. - Getting Haymitch truly was the smartest move to make (which is why I’m pretty sure it was a move on Peeta’s part - he’d know how to use reminders of ‘appearances’ to ensure a punishment wouldn’t go ‘too far’, y’know 😢). But also - Thread must have lived under a flipping rock, to not being able to recognizes Katniss (her face must have been plastered all over the place during the Victory Tour, which just had concluded recently) - or he was just too in the heat of the moment, with someone opposing him, bleugh 😒
“He [Gale] was poaching. What business is it of hers, anyway?” says the man. “He’s her cousin.” Peeta’s got my other arm now, but gently. “And she’s my fiancée. So if you want to get to him, expect to go through both of us.” - I love how Peeta’s just laying it down as it is; his phrasing just sounds so factual, rather than provocative (although it is, of course); he really has a way with words - Maybe we’re it. The only three people in the district who could make a stand like this. Although it’s sure to be temporary. There will be repercussions. - Haymitch, Peeta, and Katniss working together as a team again! Also, a good example of the effect people with public influence can have 
One [Peacekeeper], a woman named Purnia who eats regularly at Greasy Sae’s, steps forward stiffly. “I believe, for a first offense, the required number of lashes has been dispensed, sir. Unless your sentence is death, which we would carry out by firing squad.” “Is that the standard protocol here?” asks the Head Peacekeeper. “Yes, sir,” Purnia says, and several others nod in agreement. I’m sure none of them actually know because, in the Hob, the standard protocol for someone showing up with a wild turkey is for everybody to bid on the drumsticks. - It’s kinda nice to see the local Peacekeepers supporting Purnia’s claim to get this display to stop - this is the only way out of this situation where Thread’s authority is not openly challenged (and we know Thread doesn’t take well to having his authority challenged - see Darius)
There’s no stretcher, but the old woman at the clothing stall sells us the board that serves as her countertop. “Just don’t tell where you got it,” she says, packing up the rest of her goods quickly. Most of the square has emptied, fear getting the better of compassion. But after what happened, I can’t blame anyone. - It’s sad how that air of intimidation makes people want to mask their acts of compassion (and also says a lot about the precariousness of the existing living situations if that old lady is still selling that board - I’d never even consider exchanging money for that, but that’s probably my privileged situation showing here; Katniss brings up the theme of fear vs compassion - very fitting, since it seems to be her driving force (although, generally, her compassion wins out over her fear) and despite her assertion that fear appears to be getting the better of compassion we see a good amount of people reaching out to help, such as the following example:
Leevy, a girl who lives a few houses down from mine in the Seam, takes my arm. My mother kept her little brother alive last year when he caught the measles. “Need help getting back?” Her gray eyes are scared but determined. - The subtle suggestion here that Leevy might be further motivated to help out because Katniss’s mom helped her little brother is also an excellent example of how kindness breeds kindness
“Get some snow on that,” Haymitch orders over his shoulder. I scoop up a handful of snow and press it against my cheek, numbing a bit of the pain. - This moment reminded me of Peeta immediately reaching for some ice from that fruit tureen after Haymitch hit him on their way to the Games in THG (Ch. 4) - their different immediate reactions to getting hit in the face could simply be due to the fact that Katniss is a little too preoccupied worrying about Gale to think about her injury, of course, but I feel like you could also interpret them as examples for how much experience Katniss and Peeta have with being hit in the face, respectively...
Gale must have gone to Cray’s house, as he’s done a hundred times, knowing Cray pays well for a wild turkey. Instead he found the new Head Peacekeeper, a man they heard someone call Romulus Thread. No one knows what happened to Cray. He was buying white liquor in the Hob just this morning [...] but now he’s nowhere to be found. - As I’ve already mentioned regarding Darius, inhabiting some position of power does not guarantee you any safety in Panem (there is always someone more powerful who will treat their inferiors like garbage, if they feel like it)
By the time I showed up, he [Gale]’d been lashed at least forty times. He passed out around thirty. - Jesus 😨 poor Gale!
“What about Darius?” Peeta asks.“ After about twenty lashes, he stepped in, saying that was enough. Only he didn’t do it smart and official, like Purnia did. He grabbed Thread’s arm and Thread hit him in the head with the butt of the whip. Nothing good waiting for him,” says Bristel. - It’s so messed up how it is not enough to have someone who’d stand up and do something about a horrible situation - they have to do it the right way, or else they’re toast; there really shouldn’t have to be a smart way of doing the right thing
Snow begins, thick and wet, making visibility even more difficult. - (President) Snow is coming down hard on them, making it hard to see what’s up ahead
Ever so gently, she [Mrs. Everdeen] begins to clean the mutilated flesh on Gale’s back. I feel sick to the stomach, useless, the remaining snow dripping from my glove into a puddle on the floor. Peeta puts me in a chair and holds a cloth filled with fresh snow to my cheek. - Although she’s quite squeamish, Katniss stays as Gale gets treated (the force that holds the loved ones of the hurt/dying, just like when Peeta was being treated after their Games); meanwhile, Peeta is taking care of Katniss - there is so much care + love to be found in this moment
My mother has to save the strongest [painkillers] for the worst pain, but what is the worst pain? To me, it’s always the pain that is present. If I were in charge, those painkillers would be gone in a day because I have so little ability to watch suffering. - Honestly, same; I can’t stomach seeing other people suffer without feeling overwhelmed and feeling like crying... I don’t know how professionals do it
“Just give him the medicine!” I scream at her. [...] “Take her out,” says my mother. Haymitch and Peeta literally carry me from the room while I shout obscenities at her. They pin me down on a bed in one of the extra bedrooms until I stop fighting. - Oof. Poor Katniss! But yeah, it was the best call to remove her from the situation, Mrs. E. had to focus on what she was doing... Also, Haymitch and Peeta are the ones to get Katniss out of there and stay with her - these three take care of each other!
After a while, my mother comes in and treats my face. Then she holds my hand, stroking my arm, while Haymitch fills her in on what happened with Gale. “So it’s starting again?” she says. “Like before?” - Katniss’s mom has become a much more active and soothing presence in this book, I like it... Also, what does “again” mean? Does this imply there has been an attempted uprising in D12 that needed to be squashed before?
Cray would have been disliked, anyway, because of the uniform he wore, but it was his habit of luring starving young women into his bed for money that made him an object of loathing in the district. In really bad times, the hungriest would gather at his door at nightfall, vying for the chance to earn a few coins to feed their families by selling their bodies. Had I been older when my father died, I might have been among them. - Horrifying and absolutely disgusting 🤢 Those poor women! How desperate they must have been! 
... when the doorbell rings, I shoot straight out of bed. [...] “They [the peacekeepers] can’t have him,” I say. “Might be you they’re after,” Haymitch reminds me. “Or you,” I say. “Not my house,” Haymitch points out. “But I’ll get the door.” “No, I’ll get it,” says my mother quietly. - Again, Mrs. Everdeen is taking the initiative! She was so watered down in the movies
[Madge] holds out a small, damp cardboard box to me. “Use these for your friend,” she says. I take off the lid of the box, revealing half a dozen vials of clear liquid. [...] “What is that stuff?” asks Peeta. “It’s from the Capitol. It’s called morphling,” my mother answers. “I didn’t even know Madge knew Gale,” says Peeta. “We used to sell her strawberries,” I say almost angrily. What am I angry about, though? Not that she has brought the medicine, surely. “She must have quite a taste for them,” says Haymitch. That’s what nettles me. It’s the implication that there’s something going on between Gale and Madge. And I don’t like it. “She’s my friend” is all I say. - I mean, Katniss could be mad because A) Gale had literally just told her he loved her a few hours ago and if there was something (reciprocated) going on between Gale and Madge, that would have been pretty shitty for both girls involved and also B) she is friends with both of them and it would be hurtful to learn that two of your closest friends had been seeing each other without telling you anything about it... also, she’s super upset over Gale getting so seriously hurt just after they’d had an argument, her feelings are all over the place
... I’m selfish. I’m a coward. I’m the kind of girl, who, when she might actually be of use, would run to stay alive and leave those who couldn’t follow to suffer and die. This is the girl Gale met in the woods today. No wonder I won the Games. No decent person ever does. You saved Peeta, I think weakly. But now I question even that. I knew good and well that my life back in District 12 would be unlivable if I let that boy die. - Yes, Katniss, you knew that your life back in D12 would have been unlivable if he died - but not because you feared that people would shun you; it was because you “couldn’t lose the boy with the bread” and because “if he dies, I’ll never go home, not really”... This is an excellent example of how distorted your memories can get when you are in a bad headspace at present
The berries. I realize the answer to who I am lies in that handful poisonous fruit. If I held them out to save Peeta because I knew I would be shunned if I came back without him, then I am despicable. If I held them out because I loved him, I am still self-centered, although forgivable. But if I held them out to defy the Capitol, I am someone of worth. - Katniss, you don’t have to be planning to overthrow a corrupt and cruel government to be someone of worth! You’re someone of worth just by being yourself! - The trouble is, I don’t know exactly what was going on inside me at that moment. - Frankly, very rarely are our motivations clearly defined by a single factor - or my professor would not have been able to teach an entire semester-long course on motivation psychology😉)
Chapter 9
Gale’s dead to the world, but his fingers are locked around mine. I smell fresh bread and turn my stiff neck to find Peeta looking down at me with such a sad expression. I get the sense that he’s been watching us awhile. “Go on up to bed, Katniss. I’ll look after him now,” he says. - Peeta! Must have been hard for him to see Katniss like this (and the underlying strength of Katniss and Gale’s relationship, when his relationship with Katniss is still not all that solidified), and yet he’s being such a good bean about it 😭
I give a strangled cry and wake with a start, sweating and shivering at once. Cradling my damaged cheek in my hand, I remind myself that it was not Clove but Thread who gave me this wound. I wish that Peeta were here to hold me, until I remember I’m not supposed to wish that anymore. I have chosen Gale and the rebellion, and a future with Peeta is the Capitol’s design, not mine. - Katniss, gurl... Maybe your instinctive desire to receive comfort from Peeta is trying to tell you something??!? Also, Katniss is forcing this strange dichotomous association of Gale = rebellion and Peeta = Capitol, when in just a bit, she’s clearly connecting Peeta to the rebellion as well (aside from the fact that Peeta was basically the first person to suggest to her that maybe a rebellion was necessary... just saying)
Fighting the Capitol assures their swift retaliation. I must accept that at any moment I can be arrested. [...] There might be torture. Mutliation. A bullet through the skull in the town square [...] I imagine these things and I’m terrified, but let’s face it: They’ve been lurking in the back of my brain, anyway. [...] I’m already a target. - Oh geez! Despite admitting that she’s terrified of what the Capitol is capable fo doing to her, Katniss is still pretty composed naming the possible horrors in store for her, which is just a heartbreaking reminder of how many terrible things she has already had to endure.🙁
Now comes the harder part. I have to face the fact that my family and friends might share this fate. Prim. I need only to think of Prim and all my resolve disintegrates. It’s my job to protect her. [...] I can’t let the Capitol hurt Prim. - 😭😭😭 Katniss has reached a point where she can put her own need for survival/physical intactness aside, but the thought of something awful happening to Prim stops her short (it’s so strange to think that, in a twisted way, it wasn’t the Capitol who’d ended up inflicting the final harm upon Prim...)
And then it hit’s me. They already have. They have killed her father in those wretched mines. They have sat by as she almost starved to death. [...] She has been hurt far worse than I had at the age of twelve. And even that pales in comparison with Rue’s life. [...] Prim... Rue... aren’t they the very reason I have to try to fight? Because what has been done to them is so wrong, so beyond justification, so evil that there is no choice? Because no one has the right to treat them as they have been treated? Yes. This is the thing to remember when fear threatens to swallow me up. What I am about to do, whatever any of us are forced to endure, it is for them. - All these things are very true and it’s also very fitting that the main motivation for Katniss would be to ensure a better future for the children of Panem (and to avenge the evils done to the people close to her heart... while Katniss of course can see the abstract bigger picture/reason for the rebellion, she always operates best when it comes to specific people/circumstances she has a deep, personal connection with)... But also: all these things apply to you, too, Katniss! Despite your tendency to feel responsible for everything and everyone, you’re still a child that had to grow up way too fast and had to endure way too much!
We need someone to direct us and reassure us this is possible. And I don’t think I’m that person. I may have been a catalyst for rebellion, but a leader should be someone with conviction, and I’m barely a convert myself. Someone with unflinching courage, and I’m still working hard at finding mine. Someone with clear and persuasive words, and I’m so easily tongue-tied. Words. I think of words and I think of Peeta. - Katniss’s idea of a great leader for the rebellion is Peeta - interesting, isn’t it (she could have considered Gale, but no)? She makes a good point, though: it helps when a leader has plenty of charisma, and our boy has that in spades; he’s got a good set of morals, is not above joining in on the action/risking his own neck when the need arises and is very genuine and purposeful with his words and actions, which is inspiring... I think Katniss is severely underselling how courageous she is, though
He could move a crowd to action, I bet, if he chose to. Would find the things to say. But I’m sure the idea has never crossed his mind. - Why would you assume that, Katniss? Peeta’s literally the one to suggest to you that trying to placate the district might not be the right thing to do... Peeta’s not someone who’d stir up trouble just for the sake of stirring up trouble, sure; he’s much more deliberate about doing things the ‘right’ way, but he’s not generally opposed to challenging authorities (he’s literally the one to openly gift some of your winnings to another district!)
She knows what she’s doing, my mother. I feel a pang of remorse about yesterday, the awful things I yelled at her as Peeta and Haymitch dragged me from the kitchen. “I’m sorry. About screaming at you yesterday.” - It’s so sweet how Katniss feels sorry for yelling at her mom and apologizes to her; their relationship really has improved so much in this book - “I’ve heard worse,” she says. “You’ve seen how people are, when someone they love is in pain.” Someone they love. [...] Of course, I love Gale. But what kind of love does she mean? What do I mean when I say I love Gale? I don’t know. I did kiss him last night, in a moment when my emotions were running so high. But i’m sure he doesn’t remember it. Does he? I hope not. - Katniss is struggling to figure out in what way she loves Gale... She definitely doesn’t want him to remember their kiss because she knows it wouldn’t be fair to give him the hope that she might be able to return his romantic feelings when she is still in the dark about her own
... and I can’t really think about kissing when I’ve got a rebellion to incite. I give my head a little shake to clear it. “Where’s Peeta?” I say. - Lol, goes on to immediately mention the guy she’s been kissing these past few weeks (see, with Peeta you could actually have both: kissing and rebellion, Katniss - he’s the perfect man, isn’t he? 😉😋)
“He went home when he heard you stirring. Didn’t want to leave his house unattended during the storm,” says my mother. - Yeah, I don’t think Peeta left because of his house; I’m pretty sure he needed some time to himself after seeing Katniss and Gale this morning - he is the type of person who needs to be alone to work through his feelings when he’s feeling upset - “Did he get back all right?” [...] “Why don’t you give him a call and check?” she says. I go into the study, a room I’ve pretty much avoided since my meeting with President Snow, and dial Peeta’s number. After a few rings he answers. “Hey. I just wanted to make sure you got home,” I say. “Katniss. I live three houses away from you,” he says. “I know, but with the weather and all,” I say. “Well, I’m fine. Thank you for checking.” There’s a long pause. “How’s Gale?” - Aww, Katniss is worried about Peeta and gives him a call, although she hates being in the study 😊 Also, her calling him must have been at least of some reassurance to Peeta that she genuinely cares about him, in some way (though, he’s still clearly busy processing her relationship with Gale, since he’s asking about him as if he hadn’t seen that dude just a couple of minutes prior)
“Have you seen Haymitch today?” “I checked in on him. Dead drunk. But I built up his fire and left him some bread,” he says. “I wanted to talk to - to both of you.” I don’t dare add more, here on my phone, which is surely tapped. -  Despite everything, Peeta still made sure to look after Haymitch! And I know, there is also the issue of their houses themselves potentially being bugged, but I couldn’t help imagining how they could easily avoid the whole phone-tapping thing simply by using a tin can telephone (they do live pretty close to each other, after all) 😂
“You don’t even have a phone,” I say. “Effie had that fixed,” he [Haymitch] says. “Do you know she asked me if I’d like to give you away? I told her the sooner the better.” “Haymitch.” I can hear the pleading creeping into my voice. “Katniss.” He mimics my tone. “It won’t work.” - Okay, but Haymitch mimicking Katniss’s tone reminds me so much of when Peeta mimicked her tone towards the end of their Games, when she was trying to persuade him to climb into a tree as a lookout while he was insistent she’d show him some plants to gather; these three, I swear! 😂 On a sad note, Haymitch is talking from experience here when he’s advising Katniss not to challenge the Capitol 🥺😢
Some streets away from the square, I see a blaze flare up. None of us has to say it. That can only be the Hob going up in smoke. I think of Greasy Sae, Ripper, all my friends who make their livings there. - Katniss considers the people from the Hob her friends - honestly, even if the Hawthornes, Everdeens, Peeta and Haymitch all had agreed to leave D12, I don’t think Katniss would have been able to go through with it - she cares too much about the people in D12 to have been able to leave them to their fate
“Well, I better go see how much rubbing alcohol the apothecary can spare.” He [Haymitch] trudges off across the square and I look at Peeta. “What’s he want that for?” Then I realize the answer. “We can’t let him drink it. He’ll kill himself, or at the very least go blind. I’ve got some white liquor put away at home.” “Me, too. Maybe that will hold him until Ripper finds a way to be back in business,” says Peeta. - Another instance of Katniss and Peeta being on the same wavelength, having taken precautions to help out Haymitch so he doesn’t have to go cold turkey again
We find Hazelle in her house, nursing a very sick Posy. I recognize the measles spots. “I couldn’t leave her,” she says. “I knew Gale’d be in the best possible hands.” - The second mention of someone having contracted the measles in D12 - Why the heck does the Capitol withhold measles vaccination from the people in the districts?! They’re inflicting unnecessary damage onto the very people they want to exploit... But I guess cruelty isn’t always about playing it smart and logical...
When we’re outside, I turn to Peeta. “You go on back. I want to walk by the Hob.” “I’ll go with you,” he says. “No. I’ve dragged you into enough trouble,” I tell him. “And avoiding a stroll by the Hob... that’s going to fix things for me?” He smiles and takes my hand. - They are a team, they stick together (and they are constantly holding hands, always physically linked to each other)😩💕 Also, Peeta pointing out the irrationality of Katniss’s train of thought to calm her down and stay with her reminds me of how he’s going to use logical reasoning to calm her down after the jabberjays in the Quarter Quell arena
We go back to the square. I buy some cakes from Peeta’s father while they exchange small talk about the weather. No one mentions the ugly tools of torture just yards from the front door. The last thing I notice as we leave the square is that I do not recognize even one of the Peacekeepers’ faces. - How weird is it that Peeta and his dad just talk about the weather?! Is this supposed to illustrate how in the Mellark family they just ignored the ugliness going on in their lives *cough cough* the abuse *cough cough* and just pretended that everything was fine, on a very superficial level? Also, it makes perfect sense that the Peacekeepers have been exchanged; the more time we spend with people, the more likely we are to like them - that won’t do if you want to have a ruthless authoritarian police force in the districts
As the days pass, things go from bad to worse. The mines stay shut for two weeks, and by that time half of District 12 is starving. The number of kids signing up for tesserae soars, but they often don’t receive their grain. Food shortages begin, and even those with money come away from stores empty-handed. [...] The eagerly awaited food promised for Parcel Day arrives spoiled and defiled by rodents. - This is just so awful and despicable 😞 Life in the districts was already horrible but now the government does not even honor the extortionary rules they themselves have set up! I can’t help but wonder if the lack of food could be traced back to rebellions in the food supplying districts and, to keep this from the inhabitants of the Capitol, the reduced amount of good food was (obviously) kept for the Capitolites, so that the bad food had to be sent to the districts, anyway... It just seems like such a breach of ‘honor’/etiquette on the Capitol’s part, I dunno... Or maybe Snow was just desperate to use any means necessary to stamp out any potential rebellions in the districts that he still had some control over...
Gale goes home with no more talk of rebellion between us. But I can’t help thinking that everything he sees will only strengthen his resolve to fight back. [...] Rory has signed up for tesserae, something Gale can’t even speak about - Poor, Gale! Poor Hawthornes :(
My fingers have all but decided to release the arrow when I see the object in the glove. It’s a small white circle of flat bread. More of a cracker, really. Gray and soggy around the edges. But an image is clearly stamped in the center of it. It’s my mockingjay. - It is so very telling that the true symbol of the rebellion combines something symbolic of Katniss (which also contains a nod to Rue) and something symbolic of Peeta (the bread/cracker!) The people in the districts have rightfully recognized the both of them as symbol of the rebellion; they have a truer vision of the matter than the more artifically/forcefully constructed symbol of rebellion that D13 /Coin will push - we will also see that when the people in D13 will view Peeta as a traitor, while the rebels Katniss will visit in D8 instead ask her about Peeta and assure her that they know he was speaking under duress
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bill-y · 3 years
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𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐑𝐄
Peeta mellark x male reader
We all know who Katniss Everdeen is, but what if Primrose hadn’t been chosen but another boy from another unfortunate family? YOUR family.
Info: This is basically a reader insert and I’ve changed a few rules, not ground breaking though. The reader is a bit bland for now but I plan for his actions to be different. Because he has different moral grounds from Katniss and such. Would appreciate feedback! FEEL FREE TO POINT OUT TYPOS. GRAMMARLY SOMETIMES DOESN’T DO MY DYSLEXIC ASS JUSTICE
Part one: Over there, buddy
Part two:You’re here right now. :)
Part three: Click here, pepperoni salami.
Wattpad account: L0calxDumbass
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I separated with Gale and Katniss for a while, telling them I needed air. I sighed, leaping from branch to branch in the thicket of trees. Bread, not just bread, baker's bread. If I'm lucky I could get just enough squirrels for the baker, he had a taste for it but his wife was much of a witch, so he only buys it when she's not around.
I remembered how she found me stealing some burnt bread from the trashcan. I looked at her with wide eyes, frozen, I thought I was going to die, stealing was punishable for death, after all. But she just let me go, screaming about her frustration of Seams picking through her trash.
I got bread that day either way.
I landed on a sturdy branch, spotting a squirrel on the tree adjacent to me; it was quite huge, I'm sure he'd love this. Let's just hope the witch isn't home by the time I give this to him.
I crouched down, still as a statue as I watched the squirrel run up and down the tree. I pulled out the thin, glistening dagger, unwrapping its course, leather bindings, which became a makeshift thin rope. I felt my eyes unconsciously widen,  watching the squirrel's movements.
My arm aimed, then with a simple flick, the dagger whistled through the air. The small creature was then pinned to the bark of the tree through its eyes. The dagger's blade was thin enough to not damage anything when aimed right.
I pulled on the rope, the blade coming back, dragging the animal carcass with it. A small smile tugged on my face, I can get bread.
Kunal was surely panicking, he was the type to worry about the smallest of things. He once stepped on a cat's tail, Buttercup, Primrose's cat and he bawled, nobody could calm him down. Until he was offered food, that is.
I chuckled at the memory, slowly pulling the blade off the head of the squirrel. I held it in my hands victoriously, a grin on my face. I whistled a small 3 tone song, the chirping mocking birds falling silent before they imitated the tone.
After meeting up, we went back home, passing by the Hob. It was sort of a black market, where coals are transported directly to trains. I disliked it here, the amount of coal dust always bothered me, so when I come here I tend to cover my nose.
We managed to trade six of the fish for good bread, the other two for some salt. The lady who sells soup, the one that always glares at me because I've insulted her soup on multiple occasions, Greasy Sae: took half the greens we gathered, along with the dead dog meat that she calls "beef".
That's why I hate her soups, though it's not like I have much of an option, we can't afford luxury here. Unlike those obnoxious, entitled, privileged people in the Capitol. My jaw clenched at the mere thought of those scums.
We finish our business on the market, so we went to the mayor's house, who was particularly fond of strawberries. We knocked on the back door, his daughter, Madge opening it for us.
She's in Katniss and I's year sits beside us at almost every event because we don't really have groups of friends. For being the mayor's daughter you'd expect her to be an entitled brat or maybe a snob, but she was alright, she kept to herself.
I like that, I hate noisy people, They'll scare away the game, that and I've never really liked loud noises. I still remember the explosions in the mines, it was traumatizing, even though my father didn't meet death there. I really wished he had.
Madge didn't wear her usual attire, instead, she wore an expensive white dress, her blonde hair up with a pink ribbon. Reaping clothes. I felt my face scrunch up, that day was supposed to be a form of celebration. It's more of a way for the capitol to show who's in control.
We were being punished for the crimes of the people who failed, disguised as some form of celebration. It's disgusting.
"Pretty dress," Gale complimented. Madge shoots him a look, trying to see if it's genuine or if he was just being ironic. It was a pretty dress, but it was a waste.
She smiled, "Well, if I'm going to the Capitol, I want to look nice, don't I?"
I clenched my jaw, "But you won't be going to the Capitol," I said coolly, my voice monotone. My eyes landed on a small, circular pin on her dress. Real gold. The testament to the fact that she probably won't be chosen. "You probably have five entries, compared to us, that's a blessing."
"That's not her fault," Katniss said. Madge looked slightly hurt, probably because I've never really spoken my thoughts to her, I try my best to be polite when she engages a conversation with me.
"I know," I responded plainly. Madge smiled towards me, though it was clear it wasn't exactly genuine. She then handed the money for the berries. She looked towards Katniss "Good luck, Katniss"
"You too," She responded.
We walked toward the Seam, I can't help but feel angry. Her? Going to the Capitol? What a joke. When you're twelve your name gets put in the pile once, thirteen twice then so on. Up until your eighteen, where your name is entered seven times.
But the thing is, the rich have an advantage. You can enter your name willingly in the pile when you're starving in exchange for some tesserae. I had been doing this since I was twelve, having entered my name 3 times, for my mother, brother and myself.  Every year following suite, it has always been like this.
Now at the age of 16, I've entered my name twenty times, same with Katniss. Gale was in even greater danger, with a number of forty-two.
And she'll be the tribute this year? It can happen but it's deadly slim. I knew Gale felt the same way, listening to him rant about tesserae in the woods with Katniss was enough confirmation, along with the fact that I join in on the rants. Always end it with a promise to destroy the Capitol, somehow.
But what good does that do us?
Gale, Katniss and I divide our spoils, though it wasn't really the evenest distribution.  Gale got more, understandably since he has more mouths to feed.
"See you guys in the square," Katniss said, Gale nodded, "Wear something pretty," he joked.
I decided to stop by the bakery, by then the witch should be home but I took my chances. There was Mr Mellark, sitting outside, watching the pigs. He saw me from the corner of his eye, he grinned. "Greyback!' he called.
"Mr Mellark, still up for some squirrel?" I ask, holding the fat one up. He nodded, "You're lucky my wife isn't here, yet. Hold on, I'll get the bread for Kunal," he said, rushing inside.
I walked to the backdoor of the bakery so that he wouldn't trouble himself that much. I waited awkwardly outside, looking at a small bird fluttering about. I whistled, holding my finger out.
The bird landed on my finger, making me smile. From the corner of my eye, I saw a boy, blonde, stocky. Could probably kill me, if I'm being honest. Even though I was fast, I wasn't strong.
Soon enough, the bird flew away with the arrival of the baker, with a loaf of sweet, savoury bread, hot from the oven. "Here you go, Greyback."
I nodded, handing him the squirrel. "Oh!" he hummed, "Have you met my son, Peeta?" he asked, a smile on his face, "You're in the same year, yes?"
I didn't know what to say. Sure, I know him but I don't know that well him that well. My eyes travelled to the boy, who simply waved and briskly walked away. "I don't think so," I answered.
"I better be going, Mr Mellark. Nal needs his favourite bread after all," I said, flashing a small smile before I left. A small pit of dread boiled in my stomach, something bad is going to happen.
But then again, it's Reaping day, nothing good ever happens.
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jlalafics · 3 years
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"Almost Paradise"-a birthday story for mrspeetamellark!
Happy birthday @mrspeetamellark! This is one day late but I hope you enjoy this continuation of your lifeguard!Peeta story!
You can find the first part here.
Also, mind the smut at the end.
______
“How do I look?” Katniss stepped into the living room where Annie and Finnick sat on the couch. “Do I look too much like a girl who’s seen nothing but forests and whose pastime is archery?”
She did a little twirl in her sleeveless green jersey dress and cropped jean jacket for the couple.
“You look cute!” Annie stood up, rounding her. “But take the jacket off.”
“And undo the braid,” Finnick added.
Katniss shrugged the jacket off, handing it to Annie before unraveling her braid.
“Why?”
“If you’re cold, he can’t give you his jacket or put an arm around you if you’re wearing one, can he?” Annie pointed out.
“And nothing is sexier than a hair flip and an over-the-shoulder smile,” Finnick told her.
Katniss snorted. “What do you mean?”
The man bent his head, throwing it back before looking over his shoulder to smile at Annie and Katniss.
“See?” Finnick smirked. “Irresistible.”
“Is that how Annie got you?” Katniss asked.
“No, it’s how he got me,” her cousin replied. “His hair was at his shoulders at the time.”
There was a knock on the door.
“He’s here!” Finnick screamed out excitedly.
Katniss laughed, going to the door. “I thought I was going out with Peeta.”
“I’m just really happy for you,” Finnick replied.
“He’s hoping that you’ll stay the night with Peeta so we can shag like rabbits,” Annie said as Katniss opened the door.
“I should at least take you to dinner before you stay over.”
Peeta stepped into the house, his eyes meeting Katniss’. He kissed her cheek.
“You look beautiful.”
“Thanks.” Katniss looked over Peeta in his brown leather jacket, fitted white tee, and jeans. “You look great.”
“Yes, very dreamy,” Annie agreed.
Finnick fluttered his lashes. “I’d do you.”
“On that note, we should go,” Katniss told him. “Bye, guys.”
Annie gave her a hug. “Have a shit ton of fun.”
Taking Peeta’s hand, Katniss led him out the door.
“Use protection!” Finnick called out, just as the door closed behind them.
++++++
“My Mom is the local medicine woman while my sister assists her,” Katniss said as they strolled. “I’ve never been very good at all the medicinal stuff which is surprising since I usually go hunting with my Dad or Gale…well, maybe just my Dad now.” She turned to the man, smiling at her in amusement. “I’m talking a lot, aren’t I?”
“No, I like it,” Peeta said as he gazed at her. “You have a lot to say and I want to hear it all.”
“Maybe it’s because I kind of disappear into the background a lot of the time,” she told him. “Being a hunter and all. I mean, everyone who lives in my neighborhood looks the same. Dark hair, olive skin…Mom and Prim are the exception. Both blonde and blue-eyed.”
“Why is that?”
“My Mom grew up in the higher-class part of District 12,” she explained. “And she ran off with my Dad.”
“So, they were Star-Crossed Lovers,” Peeta replied.
“Yup, minus the gang fights and death.” Katniss looked around the line of shops along the wooden-slatted walkway. “Where are we?”
“This is District 4’s commercial area,” he explained. “This is where visitors like yourself might come to eat at a restaurant or buy some local goods. The folks from the Capitol come here during the summer and double our revenue for the year.”
“We don’t have anything like that in 12,” Katniss replied. “Unless you’d be interested in goat’s milk or cheese made by Prim’s goat.” Peeta raised a brow and she chuckled. “Yes, my sister has a goat.”
He reached for her hand, giving it a squeeze.
“Would buying goat’s milk score me brownie points with you?”
Katniss closed in the space between their joined hands. “Maybe.”
Peeta stopped, reaching to lift her chin. “Maybe?”
“Probably,” she relented, her chin wobbling in nervousness.
The way Peeta gazed at her was exhilarating and unnerving, all at once. It was as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. If she was being entirely honest, most of her thoughts regarding this strong-jaw, golden-haired man were not entirely clean.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
Katniss swallowed harshly. “Starving.”
Peeta stepped towards her, his hands going to her shoulders—to turn her around.
In front of her was a storefront displaying an array of pastries and cakes, but it wasn’t the food that made her jaw drop slightly.
It was the sign.
“Mellark Bakery?” Katniss turned to him, a smile playing on her lips. “You have a bakery.”
“My family has one,” he told her simply. “I thought that we might explore some career options for you.”
Katniss was confused. “What?”
“You said that you didn’t have your dream job.” Peeta pulled her towards the entrance. “I thought maybe we could see if you cut it in the culinary world.”
“Or I could possibly burn the place down,” she retorted.
“Come on. If anything, it will be something worth remembering,” he told her.
“I can’t believe that you remembered the ramblings of a deranged woman who swam right into an undertow.”
“Kind of hard to forget when you were screaming in my ear.” Peeta put an arm around her, his mouth brushing against her lobe. Her legs almost caved at the motion. “I think it will be fun. Doing something together in the back of the bakery.”
“Fine.” Katniss let out a sigh. “You’re lucky you’re so damn cute.”
He kissed the top of her head affectionately.
“I’m lucky because you said yes.”
++++++
After stepping into the bakery, Katniss was introduced to Peeta’s parents, Charlie and Roberta.
“How did you get Peeta’s name?” she asked immediately. “Your names are surprisingly normal.”
The elder Mellarks immediately took to her with easy chuckles.
“I was under some heavy-duty pain relief after he came out,” Roberta answered. “And Charlie here was running on no sleep at that point. One of us must have sputtered out, Peeta.”
“They just wanted to be different,” Peeta told her, arm still slung around her shoulders affectionately. “But they kept in order.”
She turned to him curiously. “Meaning?”
“Nop,” Charlie replied, a grin that Peeta obviously inherited, on his mouth.
“You Mellarks are confusing,” Katniss said with a shake of her head.
“Not Nop, but N-O-P.” Peeta looked to his parents in affectionate exasperation. “As in Noli, Oren, and Peeta. So, as you can see, I got the best name of the bunch.”
“I guess I must be pretty boring with my plant name,” she replied. “At least, Prim got a sweet one, and it fits her perfectly.”
The bell at the top of the front door interrupted their conversation and Peeta quickly led her to the back of the bakery, where she was greeted by stainless steel counters and industrial ovens. There, Peeta told her that they would be making sticky buns for them to eat. He pulled his family’s recipe book from the back office and showed her the recipe.
“You’re the first non-Mellark to see this book in years,” he told her.
“Don’t worry.” Katniss smiled at the man beside her. “I won’t steal your precious recipes.”
They both got to work making the dough and Peeta showed her how to add the ingredients into one of the electric mixers. After, standing behind her, he instructed her on kneading the dough to the right consistency—smooth and just a little sticky.
“There you go,” he said lowly, his warm breath against the nape of her neck. Katniss’ breath quickened at the feeling of him pressed to her back. “Just put a little more pressure into the dough.” He moved her hair to one side, resting his chin on her shoulder. “You’re actually pretty good at this.”
Katniss made another fold, pressing into the dough.
“It’s actually relaxing,” she admitted.
Peeta took a bowl, placing the dough in it so it could rise.
While they waited, Katniss told him more about District 12, about the main street where there was very little commercial area. How her father recently retired from the mines and how one of her friends was the mayor’s daughter.
“You’d like Madge,” she said. “She’s very sweet, all blonde hair and blue eyes.” Katniss peered at him. “Maybe I won’t. I tend to become invisible when Madge is around—”
“I happen to have an affinity for brunettes with smoky eyes,” Peeta told her. “You’re not invisible, Katniss.” His arms wrapped around her, pulling her against his chest as he kissed her temple. “I see you.”
“Thank you for telling me that.” Katniss turned to look at him. “I see you, too.”
Peeta’s hands reached to cradle her cheeks and her breath hitched in anticipation. He leaned and Katniss didn’t pull away when he brushed his lips to hers. It was the gentlest of touches, but it spread through her like wildfire.
“More,” she breathed against their kiss.
Peeta shifted, and their lips once more. Her bottom lip was pillowed between his own and he sucked at her tender flesh, drawing a moan out of her chest. Her hands reached, carding through his hair to grip and anchor her as Katniss felt that she might collapse in pleasure at any moment.
“You are fucking delicious,” he whispered along her tongue. “I want to taste every part of you—”
“Well, don’t do it here!” They pulled apart to see Charlie at the doorway leading to the front. “I don’t want to tell my grandkid that he or she was conceived on the counter where their Dad was.”
“Moment’s over.” Peeta helped her off the counter—how did she even get up there? He gave her an apologetic smile. “For what it’s worth, that was one hell of a first kiss.”
She had to agree.
Katniss had wanted a kiss where she saw stars behind her eyes—and she did.
However, it didn’t compare to what she felt as their lips met.
Fire.
++++++
After being discovered by Charlie—or Dad, as he insisted Katniss to call her—the man had sent them away with a basket of bread and pastries, along with some cheese, meat, and wine. They had found a nearby parklet decorated with flowers and made sandwiches.
They sipped on their wine while Peeta told her more about the Mellark Family. Their bakery had been a staple in District 4 since Peeta’s great-grandfather had built it from the ground up. Roberta was a Capitol transfer that had come when she was in her teens in search of adventure. What she had found was love, Charlie sweeping her off her feet and putting a ring on it as soon as he could.
“I think Noli might’ve been the reason for the rush,” Peeta told her with a smirk. “Don’t let them know that I know.”
Peeta’s two older brothers were working in different Districts, Noli in District 2 and Oren in District 7, but visited often.
“Oren’s girlfriend is actually from District 7 and they’re visiting in the next few days. You should meet Johanna. I think you’ll like her.”
When they were finished with their food, they returned the basket to his parents and Peeta came back with keys to a Land Rover that had seen better days. The blue paint was rusting and when Peeta turned on the engine, she could feel the hard rumble directly under her.
They had set off on a tour of District 4 and Peeta had pointed out the Hall of Justice in their town square and the mayor’s home, a block away from it. He showed her where he and his brothers went to school. After graduation, Peeta had been the one who decided to stay in District 4 and would eventually take over Mellark Bakery.
He had a love for baking, finding peace in just creating.
Katniss admired that he had found his place in the world.
“Tell me about this guy you’re supposed to marry.”
She met his eyes as he stoked the bonfire in front of them.
They had settled on the beach after their tour, the tide low enough so they could settle close to the water.
“Gale is…complicated and simple all at the same time.” Her fingers dragged along the cool sand. The moon rose over the water, highlighting the curiosity on Peeta’s handsome, sculpted face as he waited for her to continue. “It would be simple to marry him and start a family. That been the plan—to him at least.”
“And why is he complicated?”
“Because I want more,” Katniss replied. “I’m not ready to settle. Not in District 12 and not with him.” She took a deep breath. “I don’t want lukewarm love…a lukewarm life. My family is great, but they know me enough to see that I’m floundering in 12. It was why Prim urged me to just leave after Gale got down on one knee.”
“She’s one smart sixteen-year-old,” Peeta remarked.
Katniss nodded in agreement. “Definitely an old soul.” She stood up, holding out her hand to him. Peeta took it and rose from his seat. “You ever want more?”
“Not until recently,” he told her, his blue eyes darkened in the moonlight.
The heat between them was inescapable. However, neither made a move to part.
Instead, their bodies only pressed closer until Katniss could feel the prickle of her hardening nipples against Peeta’s broad chest.
Her eyes went to his. “What do you want?”
“I thought that much was clear,” he told her roughly.
Their mouths met in a crushing kiss. Her hands grasped at his biceps as he encircled her waist, pressing his pelvis to hers and she pressed up, feeling the cloth of his jeans against her clit.
Peeta growled, his lips moving off to taste and suckle her skin. Katniss purred as he reached the juncture of her neck and bit lightly. She watched as he kissed along the neckline of her dress, his hands grazing the sides of her breasts teasingly before he sunk to his knees.
Panic gripped her and grabbed his wrists. “What are you doing?”
Peeta grinned. “What do you think I’m doing?”
“I’ll never come that way,” she told him simply. “And this has been better than anything I ever felt. I don’t want to ruin it.”
“Give me a chance,” he replied, his hands on her hips to keep her from joining him on the sand. “If you don’t like it, then we’ll stop.”
Slowly, Katniss acquiesced.
Peeta lifted her skirt, carefully tucking it up into the elastic waistline. He stared at her bare skin for a moment and she consciously rested a hand to her stomach.
Thank God, she wore her cute underwear.
“Lovely,” he breathed out.
Peeta kissed along her thighs, letting her get comfortable enough to widen the opening between them. His mouth pressed to the insides and she knew that he could taste her arousal, his tongue swiping quickly along the line of her panties.
“Fuck, you’re wet,” he said hoarsely.
His mouth went to her clit, sucking through the lace, and she keened at the sudden twist in her belly.
Her hands moved to her panties and he helped her, guiding them off her before they found their place in his back pocket.
Peeta’s mouth was immediately on her cunt, roughly kissing along her sodden labia and her hands dug into his hair, holding him in place. This was something that she had never felt before, waves of desire pulsing through her core and she tried to catch that feeling with each swipe of his tongue.
“Ride my face,” he commanded, hitching her thigh over his shoulder. “I want to taste all of you.”
Katniss let out a breath at the desperate tone in his words. She pressed her pelvis closer to him, experimentally moving back and forth along his tongue as his hands cupped her bottom.
When her clit hit his nose, she let out a hiss. “Fuck!”
He chuckled against her cunt, before pressing his tongue flat against the nerve before thrusting two fingers inside her.
The euphoria took over and Katniss moved a hand to her chest, pinching a nipple and feeling the sparks of pleasure course to her core. Her other hand remained firm on Peeta’s head as he sucked and fucked her with his tongue and fingers.
Katniss felt herself there at the edge, surprised at how quickly Peeta had gotten her there—but she let herself fall into it.
Like that afternoon, she headed right into a riptide, knowing Peeta would be her rescuer.
“Oh…fuck…” Her hips canted on her own as she crested, pushing her cunt onto his face. “…I’m coming—” Peeta’s fingers quickened as he lapped at her peak. “…yes…Peeta!”
Her body snapped and Katniss arched, crying out into the dark sky as her orgasm crashed over her body and she felt the warm release seep out her conto Peeta’s waiting mouth. He was gentle, lightly tasting her as she came down from her high.
Carefully, they fell back onto the sand, breathing harshly, as they looked up the starry heaven above them.
Katniss reached for Peeta’s hand and he entwined their fingers, squeezing her hand tenderly.
Peeta tugged until she rested her head against his chest, and she sighed contently at the feeling of solidity that being with him brought her.
“I think I found what I was looking for,” she said quietly.
His hand settled in her hair. “And what is that?”
Katniss turned; her chin pressed to his chest so she could meet his azure eyes.
“You.”
Peeta smiled, the warmth of it spreading through her body and causing a flutter in her stomach.
She didn’t know if this was love, but she was willing to stay until she knew what it was.
“Do you want to go…” Peeta’s gaze was careful, his hand moving along her hair as to not break the spell between them. “…to my place?”
Finnick would be getting his wish.
Katniss nodded, a smile playing on her lips.
“Let’s go.”
*I’d like to do another part at some point…
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hutchhitched · 3 years
Text
Walk Back
Written by: @hutchhitched​
Prompt 143: The girl of my dreams asked me if I needed a ride home from campus so I obviously let her drive me home then walked back to campus a couple of hours later to get my car. [submitted by anonymous]
Ratings/Warnings: G
A/N: I’m continuing to post the nine @everlarkficexchange prompts I took and then sat on throughout the early months of the pandemic. This is the sixth of the nine. Thanks for your patience, and I hope you enjoy. Huge thanks to @javistg for understanding the delays. Only three more to go!
 Peeta Mellark knows he’s got it good compared to a lot of people. He really does, but that doesn’t stop him from wallowing in pity every once in a while. He’s in college, the first in his family, on a hefty scholarship; his grades are good; he has a lot of friends and a good work study job that actually does give him some time to study. Those are all good things. They really are, and he doesn’t dispute it, but…
 He’s also had a rough home life with a mom who’s never satisfied with anything he does and a father who loves him but can’t stand up to his wife long enough to protect his three sons from her emotional abuse. He’s a first-generation college student who’s excelling in courses for his major but isn’t doing so great in all his other general education courses. He has to work a lot more than he should for someone with his course load. Worst of all, though, he’s madly in love with a woman who likely doesn’t know his name. Well, that’s probably not true, but still. She’s certainly not crazy about him the way he is mad for her.
 There’s just no way Katniss Everdeen, fellow Panem University student and the smartest girl in his biology lab, would ever give him the time of day. Not when she already has a boyfriend, Mr. Tall, Dark, and Rugged, who’s about to graduate with a promising career. That’s unlike Peeta, an art major. He’ll never amount to anything, or so his mother likes to remind him every time he’s stupid enough to visit his family.
 Besides, Katniss is beautiful and sassy and shy and so many other wonderful things. She has no idea the effect she has on him or any other male within a mile radius, including their biology professor who’s proclaimed her the most brilliant student he’s had in his twenty-two years of teaching. Peeta spends the better part of their class together watching her from across the room, which is probably why his lab partner hates him and his grade in that class absolutely sucks.
 So, while Peeta knows he’s got some things going for him, it’s not surprising that he finds himself a little down in the dumps occasionally—especially on days when his crush shows up at his workplace. It’s even worse when his co-worker knows about his hopeless infatuation and has no shame. Johanna Mason may be his least favorite person on days like that. Today happens to be one of those days. He’s cursing his life when Jo comes up behind him and leans down to whisper in his ear.
 “Oooooooooh ooooooh. Katniss is pretty, isn’t she? Look at her over there. So serious. What do you think she’s getting ready to check out, and is there any way to make it sexual when gets over here?”
 “Shut up, Jo,” Peeta hisses as his cheeks flush, and he curls into himself, trying to hide behind the circulation desk so Katniss won’t see him.
 The last thing he wants is for the girl he’s been crushing on for months to hear his co-worker tease him about his hopeless attraction. The problem is that he told Johanna in a fit of self-loathing, and she coached him through it, built him up so his ego was a little higher than the floor and prepared him some for what to say to a girl when he likes her. While it was very kind of Jo to offer, Peeta isn’t that hopeless. He’d had a number of girlfriends in high school, but none of them compare to Katniss Everdeen. She is a goddess.
“What time’s your shift done today, hot buns?”
 “Don’t call me that! What is wrong with you?” he hisses. “Why are you so terrible?”
 “Terrible? I’m trying to get you laid, buddy. It’s certainly never going to happen if I leave you to your own devices, although I’m sure you’re taking care of yourself plenty. You’re a guy, after all.”
 Peeta’s face floods with heat, and he wants to slide onto the floor and hide behind the counter. She’s not wrong—he is a healthy, twenty-one-year-old man who hasn’t dated in a while—but Peeta doesn’t want his co-worker to know that. She’ll probably tell the whole world if he confirms what she suspects. Or say something to Katniss, which would be horrifying.
 “Why do you want to know?” he asks, suspicious.
 “Knowledge is power, my friend. Knowledge is power.”
 Still not convinced, he welcomes a patron and scans the student ID he’s handed. “Exactly ten minutes,” he mutters as he types in the bar codes of the pile of library books in front of him before sliding them across the counter. It’s almost midterm, so everyone’s trying to finish projects and bibliographies for research papers before they leave for spring break. The library’s been slammed for days.
 “She’s on her way over here,” Johanna nudges him.
 He whips his head up, and his eyes widen as he realizes Jo’s right. Katniss pages through a book as she strides toward the circulation desk. Johanna turns to busy herself with a pile of returned books, and he squeezes his legs together under the desk. If he can just stop his hands from shaking, things will be great.
 “Hi, Peeta,” she says with a guarded smile as she hands him her student ID. “How’s it going?”
 “K-katniss! Hi!” His voice squeaks, and he cringes internally. He sounds like an idiot. “It’s good. I’m good. How are you?”
 “Fine. I’m fine.” She hands him her student ID, and he glances down at the book she set on the counter.
 “History of Sculpture? That’s…”
 She laughs wryly and nods. “Yeah, I know. I’m not sure how I managed to get myself into it, but I signed up for an art appreciation class. I have zero artistic ability, so it’s painful.”
 “Oh,” he says. “That’s…yeah.”
 Johanna snorts behind him, and he tosses her a warning look. He should have known better. The woman doesn’t have a tactful bone in her body. Instead, she comes to stand behind Peeta and surveys Katniss.
 “You know, Peeta here is an art major,” Jo announces with her hand on his shoulder. “I bet he could help you with your art appreciation class. He’s great at that kind of stuff.”
 “Are you really?” Katniss asks, her eyes widening in pleased surprise. “I didn’t know that.”
 “I am,” he confirms. “I’m more of a painter than anything else, but I know quite a bit about all the different media. It’s kind of in the curriculum for my major.”
 She looks impressed, but she shakes her head as she picks up her book and tucks her ID into her pocket. “I couldn’t ask you to help, but that’s cool. I thought you were a biology major like me.”
 Johanna smacks him on the back, and he glares at her before wiping his expression clean and flashing a closed mouth grin at Katniss. When nobody says anything, Katniss turns to go.
 “Nonsense!” Jo cries. “Peeta’d be happy to help. I’m sure there’s something you could do for him to repay his generosity.”
 He swears under his breath and elbows Jo in the gut.
 “Oh, I don’t think there’s anything I have that Peeta wants—”
 “A ride home?” Jo interrupts. “Peeta’s car’s in the shop. He asked me for a ride, but his shift is over now, and I’ve got another two hours before I can leave. Poor guy. He’d really appreciate the lift.”
 Relief colors her face, and she nods. “I’d be happy to do that. My car’s on the street. I snagged one of those metered ones that are always full. Must be my lucky day.”
 “Oh, I’d say it certainly is,” Jo says, a wide self-satisfied smile plastered on her face. She practically shoves him out of his chair and adds, “Peeta, why don’t you go clock out. I’ll finish this up for you.”
 “I can—”
 “No, you can’t. You’re too close to hours. Besides, you wouldn’t want to keep Katniss waiting, now would you?”
 “You really are the devil, aren’t you?” he hisses as he grabs his stuff. “My car’s in the parking garage, not the shop. What the hell are you doing?”
 “Getting you some time alone with the girl of your dreams,” she explains with a withering look. “Now, let her give you a ride home so you can schmooze her.”
 Still disgruntled, he shuffles to the door and meets Katniss on the steps. She shifts uncomfortably, tugging on her braid and hunching her shoulders. He wonders if she’s trying to hide or if she’s cold in the chill of the early spring day.
 “I really appreciate this,” he says.
 She nods and leads him to her car. “No problem. It’s the least I can do.”
 “You don’t have to do anything at all.”
 She’s silent as she starts her car. Hesitating, she glances over at him and asks, “Does that mean you don’t want to tutor me? I understand if you don’t. It’s asking a lot for someone you barely know, especially since I can’t really afford to pay you.”
 “Except in rides.”
 “Well, yeah. I can do that.” She smiles at him tremulously and shifts the car into gear. Glancing over her shoulder, she signals and pulls out of the parking spot and onto the street.
 “You could help me in bio,” he blurts and his cheeks heat.
 “Really?”
 He cringes and shrugs. “Yeah. I can’t seem to get the hang of it. I think I’m one of those people that understands it in theory but not in practicality. I’m doing fine in the lecture, but lab is really confusing.” He doesn’t add that most of that is her fault, but not really, because he can’t stop mooning over her.
 “I can do that.”
 He glances at the pleased curve of her lips and wonders how he can make it happen again. The joy of seeing her happy sinks into his bones and gives him life. It’s ridiculous, but it’s true. He has no reason to think he should except common human decency matched with his overwhelming crush. He feels like a middle school boy who’s just figured out that girls and boys have different parts.
 Katniss stops at the intersection and glances over at him. Bashful, she admits, “I don’t know where I’m going.”
 Peeta’s eyebrows furrow and he motions out the windshield. “South?”
 “No,” she answers with a nervous laugh. “I mean, I don’t know where you live.”
 He’s an idiot. Of course she doesn’t know where he lives. “Sorry! Sorry. Turn left here. I wasn’t thinking.”
 “If you want…”
 “If I want?” he prods.
 “Well, maybe, if you don’t mind, that is.” She clears her throat and then words burst from her in a torrent. “I know a coffee shop that no one else really goes to. It’s quiet and the coffee’s good. They know me there, and I have a table they kind of save just for me. If you wanted to go over some of this sculpture stuff today, that’d be a good place.”
 “Oh. Okay,” he answers, fighting to keep his face clear of the glee he feels. Katniss Everdeen just asked him to go out with her. Well, she asked him to go somewhere with her, but that was more than he’d dreamed would happen any time he imagined actually speaking to her. Not only is he going to sit at the same table with her in a public place, but he’s at her mercy with transportation. She’s got him captive, and he approves.
 “Maybe I can take a look over your lab notes with you, too. You know, if you want.”
 Oh, he wants. That’s never been in question. He absolutely wants when it comes to Katniss Everdeen.
 “That’d be great. Really great.”
 The place itself is an independent coffee shop in an older area of town called The Seam. The properties tend to be more run-down than those closer to campus, but the café is cozy and humble and has great choices in both coffee and tea. He chooses a black peppermint he’s loved since his father made it for him when he was sick. His father had also snuck cookies to Peeta despite the disapproval of his mom. He adds sugar before taking a sip that transports him back to childhood. He breathes in as he swallows and blows out a heavy sigh.
 Amused, Katniss asks, “That good?”
 Nodding, he inhales the aroma and smiles softly. “Yeah. It’s that good. Thanks for bringing me here.”
 Pleased, Katniss drops her head and shuffles in her bag for the book on sculpture and her class  notes. They work together for over an hour before reviewing information from their biology lab. He finds she’s a good tutor, knowledgeable and skilled at breaking down the concepts into sizable chunks that seemed overwhelming previously. When he compliments her on it, she waves him off but returns the sentiment.
 “I already feel like I appreciate art more.”
 “Glad I could help.”
 “That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook, though,” she teases. “I’ll still need you after break’s over, but I think I can pass the final now, anyway.”
 He shivers at her claiming she’ll need him. It’s closer to genuine interest than anything he’s ever gotten from her, and it gives him a small thrill of hope.
 Reluctantly, she packs up her bag and sighs. “I really need to get home, but this was fun.”
 “Yeah, I should be getting back, too. Got a lot to do before bed.”
 They’re quiet as they slide into the car. Contemplative, Peeta almost forgets to provide instructions so Katniss knows where to take him. As he guides her through unfamiliar streets that turn into those he sees every day, he sends silent thanks to Johanna for her brashness and refusal to let things go. He only hopes he doesn’t have a ticket on his car when he retrieves it—hopefully before it’s towed.
 “This is it,” he says with a wave at his front door. None of his roommates are home, which means he’s stuck until they return. He doesn’t want to say goodbye, but she’s antsy, unsure what to do with her hands or where to look. “Thanks again for the ride. Come find me at the library after break, and we’ll do a repeat of tonight.”
 “Sounds great,” she says warmly. “Hope you get your car back soon.”
 “Yeah, me too,” he grumbles.
 He watches her leave, lifting his hand in farewell until her car turns the corner and heads back the way she came. Fishing his cell out of his pocket, he sends his roommates a group text asking when they’ll be home and if one of them can give him a ride back to campus. As each of them gives a reason for their absence, he realizes he’s on his own. He does stow his bag inside and grab a drink before heading back outside. Squaring his shoulders, he shoves his hands in his jacket pockets and begins the walk back.
 It takes an hour, and he does have a parking ticket. Still, Peeta has no regrets. The afternoon with Katniss was the best of the year with the promise of more to come. She’s worth the inconvenience. 
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katnissmellarkkk · 3 years
Note
I *DEMAND* part 3 of shattered pearl. I repeat. I *DEMAND*.
Hahahahaha omg. Well, I decided to legitimately dig through the archives of my writing drafts and found chapter three of the Peeta-Wasn’t-Hijacked fic. It’s been given like 1,000 different names on different sites. I’ve never loved any of them. And I don’t really think this is my best writing ngl. But I also figure ... why be so stingy, ya know? If I have an incomplete draft, that I probably won’t finish, why not post a little bit? Especially since I literally left everyone and their brother who were reading this fic on a cliffy for over a year.
With that said.... I wrote this part like ... 15 months ago? 14 ? 13 ? Something like that. And I haven’t edited it since so ... yeah! Here’s a small chunk of chapter three! 🥳🥳🥳 Hope it’s better than I remember it being!
But it’s lacking something and it’s only then I realize, what I’m searching for inside Gale’s mouth, is the spark that only Peeta’s ever ignited in me. I keep waiting in vain for the warmth that started in my stomach and then rose up and exploded in my chest, for the craving that no matter what I couldn’t manage to satisfy, for the thrilling, almost hysterical, tingly feeling, to overcome me and leave me lightheaded in a completely foreign way. A way that couldn’t be attributed to lack of oxygen.
But it never does. I pull back and wipe my mouth carelessly on my arm and sigh, already sensing Gale’s demeanor taking a nose dive at my lackluster reaction.
I’m not disappointed when I look to see his expression. His eyes are frustrated, his mouth is downturned, his eyebrows are pinched together. And I feel as bad as I knew I would. Because no matter what, I’m hurting someone I deeply care for.
But how I feel upon seeing Gale’s face isn’t even comparable to the amount of remorse that fills me, that overtakes my entire being, when I see Peeta standing in the doorway, having watched our entire exchange.
/
I yelled his name as he disappeared down the hall. I tried to rip out all the needles and wires connecting me to the machines and the stiff, sterilized bed but Gale used all his strength to push me down flat. I was overpowered and exhausted and my left side was screaming mercilessly, and I don’t even know what pain was the bruised lung and what pain was my hurt ribs and what pain was my heart violently smashing into the pit of my stomach.
All I know is that if I had been able to reach Peeta before he evaporated, I have no clue what I would have said to him.
What I could have said to make it alright.
Gale tried to talk to me again after that but I entirely tuned him out, no longer caring if I wounded his feelings, or anyone else's for that matter.
It seems like no matter what I do, no matter how careful or cautious or preemptive I try to be, someone still got hurt in the end.
I wish I could just shut out the world, like I did during those first few weeks in Thirteen. Hide inside closets when I had a flashback. Shove myself into a minuscule crawl space with every nightmare. Refuse to speak to anyone who wasn't Gale or my family. Only eat when my mother nearly forced me. Show no remorse for how rude or how clinically insane I came across.
But now there was an agreement in place, an agreement I made to protect the victors—namely the one who just disappeared down the hall on me—and the people who had no voice on their own. The people who’s only chance was a half-crazed, shell-shocked, battle worn seventeen year old girl, who was just gunned down on national television.
Even if I wanted to retreat to some safe haven inside my head—if such a thing even existed for me—like Annie Cresta, I knew it could never happen.
For me, that wasn’t an option. If I don’t fulfill my duties to Coin, Peeta, Johanna, Annie and probably countless more people will suffer. The districts would undoubtably suffer. Gale would suffer. My mother and Prim would suffer.
I was proven right when later that same night Plutarch came to visit me again. I'd been lying on my side to avoid having to see Gale, who was still soldered to my bedside. My good side was thankfully opposite his seat.
When the Gamemaker spoke I thought I would be forced back to work. Forced to head back to the rebels and engage in their plans.
And I was resigned to it, well aware all along that I wouldn't be given the luxury of time to grieve the hurt I just caused Peeta. Or even the pain I knew I was inflicting upon Gale. The constant seesaw my heart was bouncing up and down on.
I was endlessly thankful that I was still pumped with morphling when Plutarch said that I was needed in Coin's office, because it heavily suppressed any real emotion I had brewing deep inside.
Morphling can cause you to let down your guard sometimes, make you say or do things you wouldn't otherwise or allow things to happen you'd ordinarily have the sense to stop. But it also causes all your severe emotions, all your heightened feelings, to dull as well. And for that, in light of everything that had just transpired, I was eternally grateful for.
When the doctor had removed all the needles from my arm, and I had been given a robe to go over my hospital gown—which, shockingly, was even uglier and thinner and itchier than the gowns they gave in the Capitol hospitals—Gale escorts me down the halls, through the corridors and to President Coin’s office.
I don’t speak to him the entire time. Looking at him makes my stomach churn with remorse and regret, though I’m not even sure who those feelings are directed towards. I’m not even sure how to articulate the way I feel right now.
And, as much as I try to force him out of my mind—as much as I do my best to rip him out from wherever he crawled beneath my skin and flooded into my veins—I inexplicably miss Peeta.
In more ways than I even know how to decipher. Even inside my own head.
I thought that feeling of longing would have ebbed away once he was rescued from Snow and his twisted mansion, but even knowing he’s safe here in Thirteen, I still crave his presence next to me.
I still want him next to me almost all the time.
It’s at least partially attributable to the fact that for so long, it was me and Peeta against the world. He has been my partner in this whirlwind rollercoaster since the first games and, even when I feel like every single aspect that could potentially go wrong has, sometimes it seems like I couldn’t have gotten luckier with who was chosen that fateful reaping to stand by my side the entire horrific ride.
I wipe my eyes as inconspicuously as I can but Gale sees and almost instinctively puts his hand on my shoulder. And proves he knows me better than I give him credit for. “I’ll talk to him, Katniss.”
“Don’t,” I immediately hiss. “You’ll just make it worse, Gale. He-he,” I struggle with explaining what I want to say and I curse my best friend for even addressing my moment of weakness because now I have to go talk to Coin, looking like an unstable mess—with a near bullet wound—and I blurt out the very first thing I can think of. “He doesn’t even know you, okay? You’ll just-“
There’s no malice in Gale’s voice as he softly replies, “Well, he was fine when I went and saw him before you woke up.”
I stop now, dead in my tracks. “You saw him? After I was shot?”
He nods slowly. “Yeah, I felt like should check on him. I know...” He pauses and looks upwards and I recognize, once again, this whole thing isn’t easy for him either. “I know he means a lot to you. And I heard what happened when he saw you go down. So I went and checked in on him...” He stops again before shrugging nonchalantly. “He was calmer by the time I saw him. He was nice. He’s always been nice.” At that Gale rolls his eyes. “Too nice. Probably why Snow wanted to hurt him.”
I start walking again, moving ahead of him a few paces. “You’re not helping,” I state, my voice a monotone.
“I’ll talk to him,” Gale offers again, running to catch up.
“Please don’t, okay? Just let it be. I don’t even know if he’ll speak to me, I don’t want to have to worry about what you’ll say to him.”
I vigorously shake off his hand on my shoulder when he tries to comfort me again, and feel him root into place as I make the rest of the way to Coin’s office.
And I wonder if I hurt him now too.
I wonder if I managed to completely annihilate them both from me in one night.
/
Much to my surprise and, to be completely honest, my utter disappointment, Coin doesn’t want me to head back out and fight for the rebellion. She doesn’t want me to even film more propos.
Plutarch does, but his ideas now are pretty frivolous and have more to do with him being still stuck in the fantasy of putting on a good show and less to do with fighting for the good of the country.
Coin simply says, “You did your job, Miss Everdeen. You united the districts,” in her calm, disingenuous—completely unsettling—tone.
And argument I put up is met with a simple shake of the head and a pursing of her lips. All indisputable rejections, her cold, blank eyes telling me wordlessly that in no way could I sway her once her mind was made up.
Still doesn’t stop me from trying though.
“I want to help the rebels,” I plead, looking to Boggs behind Coin’s chair, his face still stoic but his eyes giving me a look that isn’t altogether dismissive.
That was something. It was more than I was getting from either Coin or Plutarch.
Coin though brushes off my words and cuts me down infuriatingly quick with a single sentence. “Plutarch wanted to see Peeta earlier, talk about some propos. But when he sent for him, one of the doctors working with Peeta said he wasn’t having a good day.”
Her tone is smooth and pleasant enough but there was an undercurrent to her words that she knew I would hear. “Do you know how Peeta is? I would have thought with your waking up this morning, he’d be in better shape than he was but if you two aren’t getting-“
“Me and Peeta are fine,” I snap, not liking whatever she’s implying.
She nods, slowly at me, choosing her next sentiment carefully. “Well, let’s hope so. We need both of you now to remain the faces of this revolution. And I wouldn’t want you to do anything rash because of... problems between you and your... between you and Peeta.”
I’m shaking my head, feigning certainty, before she even finishes. “That’s not why I want to help the rebels,” I insist firmly.
“Irregardless, Miss Everdeen, we don’t have a job for you. You aren’t qualified to go into the fight and we no longer need your propos to unite the districts. Your job is done. Thank you for your help.”
And I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I’m being definitively dismissed now. Indefinitely.
I don’t make any effort to keep my cool, instead choosing to storm out of the room, slamming the door cacophonously behind me and wonder why I let that woman get to me so much. Why her words and implications slice me open like a knife.
Why no matter how much I try, I just can’t like her.
Something about her rubs me the wrong way and, once again, I wish Peeta was here with me in the room, because he of all people could understand what about Coin felt off and strange and so familiar.
I curse myself again, as I suddenly miss him even more than before.
Unable to force myself to put my focus elsewhere—especially now that Gale is surely angry too—I change directions and head towards the recovery room.
I don’t even knock before entering. I push the door open, only to find him sitting on top of his bed, a sketchbook in hand, a lot more tranquil than I pictured.
He looks up as I enter—and then, simultaneously freeze in the doorway, like the coward I truly am inside. Before he can speak though, I blurt out, “I know you’re mad about me kissing Gale and I don’t know how much you saw or heard, but it wasn’t... it wasn’t exactly...” I stop because once again, I’m unprepared and out of my element and have no rhyme or reason in what I’m trying to say. I don’t know the right thing to say. I never know the right thing to say.
Maybe if I did, I wouldn’t screw always everything up. “It wasn’t,” I finally force myself to continue, off his patient and somewhat bewildered glance. “It wasn’t what I wanted... I didn’t want it to happen. I don’t, I don’t even know what-“
He finally puts me out of my misery now. “Katniss,” he speaks my name along with a sigh. I watch carefully, feeling a lump build in my throat, as his blonde brows furrow over his baby blues.
He shakes his head, slow and calm. Far more reasonable than I ever anticipated. “I’m not mad at you, Katniss,” he promises, with all the genuineness in the world.
I bite my lip, befuddled by his words. “But... where have you been then?” Why did you leave me? A small voice in the back of my mind demands.
He shrugs, his gaze falling down to his bed now. His demeanor is almost embarrassed, I realize with a start.
“I wanted to give you and Gale space. I’ve been practically mauling you since you woke up so I thought-“
“But I didn’t want you to leave,” I abruptly burst out, unable to shove the words down any longer.
A pang of embarrassment shoots through me though, for the pathetic crack, evident in my tone. And I mentally berate myself.
Not for the embarrassment. For the pathetic crack itself.
And for the fact that somehow I’m the frenzied one here and Peeta is the voice of reason.
Which used to be our norm but after everything that’s transpired, I would have thought things would be reversed by now.
He just stares at me for a long moment, carefully considering his next words.
Finally, he opens his arms slowly and utters, “Come here,” in a tender murmur and I practically fly into his arms before I can second guess the offer.
I feel my injured side screaming as I curl up like a ribbon in his arms, but I surpress the wince to the best of my ability and instead bury my face in his shoulder, breathing in his sweet scent like a mad girl.
He softly presses his lips to my messy locks, carefully massaging the back of my head soothingly. “I’m sorry I ran away,” he whispers, barely loud enough for even me to hear. “I was just embarrassed. I know—I’ve always known deep down—that it’s not right for me to constantly hold you to the things you said in the games. Or to project my own feelings onto you.”
“You didn’t,” I refute venomously, my brows knitting together.
“Katniss, I know you and Gale have had something between you for a long time.”
“Gale was just a friend until me and you came back from our first games. Maybe he wanted to be more even before, I don’t know, but I never felt anything romantic for him. I swear.”
“You don’t have to defend your feelings to me,” he states softly.
“I know, it’s just...” I sigh, moving to sit upright across his thighs. “No matter what I do, it’s wrong. If I say I’m confused, you’re both hurting. If I say I want to kiss you or sleep with you or just be with you, I’m leading you on because I can’t-I can’t make any promises about my feelings right now, because I don’t even know up from down anymore. And if I say I do or don’t want to kiss Gale or be around him or hunt with him still, I’m hurting him or giving him the wrong idea or telling him the wrong things, and it all gets confused and there’s an entire rebellion that I’m the face of, and now I don’t even know if I’m a part of that, but Snow and his followers all hate me still so I know family still won’t be safe until this is all over. And you. You and Johanna and Annie went through the ringer over me. And Gale gets upset whenever he sees us together—it hurts him to see us—but I can’t always seperate you two from one another and I just-I don’t know what I can do. I don’t know what to do anymore.”
Peeta lets me rant the whole entire spiel out, his hand slowly moving in circles to rub my back, from the top of my spine down to my backside. “Katniss,” he whispers once I’m done. “You don’t have to defend yourself to me. I get it. You’re under immense pressure. The last thing I want to do is make things harder on you.”
“You’re not,” I say, shaking my head insistently. “You’re not making anything worse, Peeta. It’s-it’s not you.”
“Okay,” he concedes and unconsciously wraps me up tighter in his arms. “Just relax, okay? Relax and breathe.”
I quiver and quake against him. “I don’t think I can.”
I barely realize I’m crying until Peeta leans down to kiss my tearstained cheek softly. “Katniss, it’s okay. I’m not mad. And Gale shouldn’t be. If he is, then that’s on him. The rebellion isn’t just your responsibility. Do not let them put all that weight on your shoulders. I know they already have but it’s not all your responsibility. And no one is going to let anything happen to your mom or sister.” He pushes my hair away from my forehead, pressing his lips there for a long moment. “Or you. I promise I will not let anything else happen to you.”
I swallow hard as he rests his forehead against my temple. I squeeze my eyes shut in hopes that it will make my head stop spinning somehow. Deep breaths to center myself fail miserably and in the end, I feel my bruised ribs and lung disagree with the movement and ache worse than before.
Peeta feels me cringing against him in pain and remains careful as he shifts, reaching for something off his bedside table.
I’m in too much pain to react as pushes off my robe and tugs my hospital gown down in order to slide against my skin, his hand holding it firmly to my side.
The icy temperature brings some sort of relief to me almost instantly, and I let out an audible sigh of relief, feeling my rigid body relax even a minuscule amount for the first time.
“I don’t blame you for having feelings for Gale,” Peeta murmurs, drawing my attention back to our conversation and away from my painful left side. “And if you want to be with him, I won’t hold it against you. I’m not going to lie, I’d be ... sad but... it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t still be your friend. It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t still be at jere for you however you needed me. There’s no ultimatums here, Katniss. I’m still here for you, even if you’d rather be with Gale.”
I pause for a long moment, absorbing his words. He’d be willing to be my friend, even if I hurt him? Even if I chose someone else over him? Even after everything we went through, even after all the ways he’d been abused because Snow could see how much I care for him? How much I need him. He’s still willing to put it all aside and be there for me, no strings attached.
And I try not to compare but my brain draws the conclusion almost involuntarily, and I can’t stop myself from realizing that, in the same position, Gale would likely not be telling me the same thing.
I burrow my face deeper in his shoulder, shutting my eyes in exhaustion.
Peeta catches me off-guard, moving my hair aside to kiss my neck, eliciting a flare of heat in the place where his lips brush my skin, and I may not know exactly how I feel, but I know in that moment exactly what I want right now.
“The only person I want to be with tonight is you,” I whisper honestly, looking up at him with pleading eyes, begging him to somehow understand an emotion I don’t know how to admit. “The only person I want right now is you, Peeta.”
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softlikethesunset12 · 3 years
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Happy Anniversary
A/N: Hey everyone! This is part 1 of a 4 part story about Katniss and Peeta celebrating their anniversaries. Just some Everlark cuteness for you guys :) Rated M. As soon as I have an account on AO3 I’ll be posting this there too, as well as TMAC. You can also read it on ff.net, click here
A thousand times thanks to @jhsgf82 for beta’ing this. <3
Enjoy! 
1st anniversary
I walk out of the jewelry store, bag in hand. It’s our first anniversary tomorrow, and I want it to be perfect. Katniss Everdeen has been my girlfriend for a year. A whole year. I still can’t believe it. She’s made me the happiest I’ve ever been.
I’ve planned a romantic dinner‒home-cooked–and then I’m going to give her the present. I thought about it for so long. Katniss doesn’t like big, showy jewelry, so I bought a delicate silver necklace with a beautiful pearl on it. The color of the pearl and the necklace remind me of her sparkling silver orbs. I hope she’ll like it.
Later, as I’m setting the table, there’s a knock on the door. I check the stove quickly before opening it. I’m greeted by my beautiful girlfriend. She’s truly enchanting, wearing a clingy dress in my favorite color with black fuck me heels. Her hair is flowing down her back, her soft lips glossy and so kissable. Her silver eyes lock on mine, and we stand there staring at each other. I can already feel the blood rushing south; I shake my head slightly and break the silence first. “You look absolutely stunning,” I breathe out. She smiles shyly and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. I’ve told her so many times how pretty she is, but she still gets shy every time; it’s quite adorable.
“You look pretty good yourself, Mellark,” she says, her voice husky but smooth. I glance down at my navy slacks and fitted gray polo; I know she likes polos on me and the effect they have on her. That’s exactly why I wore it. When I realize we’re still standing in the doorway, I quickly step aside to let her in. She walks past me, and I shut the door behind her.
Katniss inhales deeply and sighs in pleasure, “Do I smell lamb stew?” she asks.
“Yes, your favorite,” I say, smiling. I used her father’s recipe, to make her all-time favorite. “And carrot cake for dessert.”
“It smells amazing. Thank you, Peeta.” She tugs on my hand and pulls me towards her. I close the distance between us, wrapping my arms around her waist. She smiles at me so sweetly my heart stutters in my chest. I am so hopelessly in love with her. I have been since the first time I heard her sing all those years ago at school, and now that we’ve been together for a year, I’m only loving her more, if that’s even possible. She cups my cheek with her small hand and draws me in for a kiss. Our lips meet hungrily, moving against each other like so many times before. I could never grow tired of kissing her, though. Her other hand slides to the nape of my neck and toys with my hair, and I tighten my arms around her in response. We get lost in each other for who knows how long, finally breaking apart we’re both breathing heavily.
“As much as I love kissing you, I really have to check on the food,” I murmur against her lips.
“Okay,” Katniss responds. She steals two more kisses before releasing my neck.
I head into the kitchen, and Katniss follows. When she sees the dinner table lined with candles and flowers, she gasps. “It’s beautiful, Peeta.”
“Take a seat, milady,” I say, smiling and pulling a chair out for her.
“When did you do all this?” asks Katniss in awe.
“Oh, I got off work early today,” The stew is done and the hearty raisin and nut bread, too. I fill two bowls, cut the bread, and put them on a plate. I take them back to the table, “Here you go.” I hand Katniss hers.
“It smells delicious, thank you.” Katniss smiles broadly. I sit down across from her and smile back at her. Her gray eyes glitter in the candlelight. She’s so incredibly beautiful, and I tell her so again. She blushes and reaches for my hand across the table. “I love you,” she says.
I know she loves me, but she doesn’t say it often. She’s more an action kind of girl, so when she says it, my heart grows ten sizes bigger in my chest. I kiss her hand. “I love you, too. So much.” She squeezes my hand, and her smile grows a little wider.
After an amazing dinner, Katniss stands up and walks towards me. “Thank you, love. It was absolutely amazing.”
I smile at the term of endearment that left her lips. Katniss is not a touchy-feely person in public, but when we’re alone, she shows a side that would surprise people. I’m definitely not complaining. “My pleasure, babe.”
She climbs in my lap and straddles me, so we’re face to face. Then she rests her forehead against mine. “I have a present for you,” she whispers. We’re so close that her warm breath skates across my lips, sending a shiver through me.
I kiss her but pull back before things go too far and I forget what I wanted to say. “I got you something, too.”
“More? But you already cooked this amazing dinner.”
I grin and lean forward, my mouth grazing her ear, “Yes. Because I love you, Katniss. And I’m so thankful for you; you make me so happy.” I whisper the words, then bite her earlobe lightly. I feel her shiver, and she releases a trembling breath.
Katniss pulls my face to hers again and kisses me, hard. “I love you, too, Peeta. I’ve never been happier.” At that, I press my lips to hers as insistently as she did two seconds ago. Her curiosity gets the best of her, though, and she pulls back a little and says, “So, about that present.”
I chuckle but reach behind me to grab the blue velvet box. “Happy anniversary, Katniss,” I say, handing it to her.
She opens the box, gasps, and places a hand over her mouth. She snaps her head back up at me. “Oh my god, Peeta. It’s beautiful.”
I smile shyly at her, suddenly a little nervous. “Do you like it?”
She smiles widely, tears forming in her eyes. “I love it.” She kisses me then, not hard like she did earlier, but soft and tender. I can taste the love on her lips. When I feel her tongue at the seam of my lips, I eagerly open my mouth for her. After several minutes of this I pull back slightly. “How about my present?” I’ve grown curious, too.
Katniss looks at me with hooded eyes, cheeks flushed, and swollen lips, God, she’s sexy. Without answering, she stands up from my lap and takes a few steps backwards. “Where are you go-?” She cuts me off before I finish my sentence.
“It’s not much compared to that gorgeous necklace, but I hope you still like it,” she says, in a voice huskier than normal -her voice always gets huskier when she’s turned on. I look at her expectantly, I’m getting curiouser by the second. Katniss reaches behind her, and then I hear the sound of a zipper. Her dress drops to her feet, and she’s left in only a black lace bra and tiny, matching panties. I’m completely speechless, my eyes rove over her body. She’s so insanely beautiful. I’ve seen Katniss naked many times; I know every curve, dip, and stretch mark on her body, but every fucking time, it feels like the first. And those panties... Yep, blood is definitely no longer circulating to my head. I see her fiddling at my intense gaze, “Say something.” It’s barely a whisper, but I hear it.
Quickly, I go to her. “You, Katniss Everdeen are so incredibly beautiful. You have no idea the effect you have, do you?” My voice is thick with desire.
I stop walking when I’m only inches away from her. “Most of the time I don’t know, but now…” She glances down at the bulge in my pants, “…I think I do know.”
I cradle her face in my hands and crush my mouth against hers. Katniss opens her mouth eagerly and meets my tongue with hers. I pick her up bridal style, and she winds her arms around my neck, those sexy heels still on. Never breaking the kiss, I carry her to my bedroom. 
Click here to see the necklace :)
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catherdrashepard · 3 years
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Darrow is Not Going to Die at the End of the Series Part 1 Probably (Definitely)
I don’t think Darrow is going to die at the end. I’m open to being proven wrong, but I am entirely convinced that Darrow is going to live and happily retire with his wife and son. The main reason is because the trope of a main character suffering and then dying is one I hate and it should go away.
BUT, in all serious, I have been thinking of some examples in other media that is better evidence for my point. Spoilers ahead for Dark Age, Hunger Games, Castlevania, Trollhunters: Rise of the Titans, Avengers Endgame, The Hobbit, Voltron, FMA, HttYD, Death Note, Madoka Magica, Merlin, Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts, HunterxHunter, Dragon Prince, He-Man (the new one), Yu Yu Hakusho, Persona 3. Mass Effect, The Hollow, Camp Cretaceous, and whatever else I can think of.
I’m so sorry for the potential length of this, @hyena-frog and I kept thinking of examples.
First, I want to give examples where the protagonist went through hell and then came out alive and why those were good decisions. For starters we have Katniss from the Hunger Games series. I felt like this was a good beginning point because these two series are often compared to each other. Katniss is forced to fight to the death for the amusement of a bunch of rich people. Darrow’s time in the Institute also seems to be for the entertainment of Golds even if it’s disguised as a test. They both also turn the tables on the people who run these tests and shift the system. This then results into dismantling of the previous hierarchy in favour of a more equal one. They’re both at the forefront of the movement but the main difference is that Katniss is more of a figurehead and she gets used by more experienced people while Darrow takes charge during Morning Star and keeps his leadership position throughout the rest of the books. I kind of attribute this to the size of the series (3 books vs 6 books) and the difference in genre (Young Adult vs. New Adult and then Adult).
At the end of Hunger Games Katniss was shown to have survived and built a family with Peeta. She COULD have died for the cause like some of the other characters; Finnick and Prim. But the difference with those two, in my opinion, is that Finnick’s death was his choice after being forced into prostitution after winning his year. Victors pretty much have their freedom taken away and I feel like Finnick’s death was symbolic of him finally having autonomy over his own body. Prim on the other hand, died because she went to help others who had hurt when a bomb went off only to fall victim to a secondary blast. I think part of it was meant to showcase that Gale and Katniss had grown apart and that their ideals were now different. There’s also similarities in what happens to Prim with what happens to Lysander when he tries to rescue the Reds from Atlas’ Dragon’s Teeth (I’m sorry, they just remind me so much of the Husk spikes in Mass Effect). Each situation, however, serves a different purpose. I feel like a lot of the things that happen to Lysander are chances at self reflection he is given. I’m going to avoid going into great detail about Lysander (right now) because god knows I could talk about him all day.
ANYWAY. The point is both Darrow and Katniss lose people they’re close to, the families they have built over shared trauma and on top of that, they’re trying to fix a societal structure that treats them and other like them as lesser. Katniss has already finished her journey and at the end she’s shown to be slowly recovering and becoming comfortable with bringing children into the world. Darrow already has a son, and his found family has children and, of course, his story isn’t finished yet. Something else I think that will differ in their stories is that, if I remember correctly, Katniss and Gale never really reconciled. I think there are some parallels to the rift between Darrow and Sevro, although I feel with Devro we’re supposed to understand both perspectives whereas with Katniss and Gale, Gale is very much going too far. But Darrow and Sevro separate because of seemingly differing priorities. Sevro wants to focus on his family and protecting them and, while Darrow is also considering his loved ones, his methods cause conflict between them. I can see where Sevro is coming from. On the surface, Darrow might seem like he doesn’t care or his only focus is on the war. Which isn’t....wrong, he DOES want to end the war as soon as possible. But, much like Katniss, his motivation for ending everything as quickly as possible is to ensure a safe future for his family. What I think a lot of readers forget, my self included, is that none of the characters have a full picture of what’s happening. (A topic I will bring up again in my Lyria study). We’re lucky enough to get several different perspectives so we understand things that other characters may not.
Imagine if Katniss died at the end of Hunger Games. It would feel like such a disservice to have her go through all of that trauma and when finally presented with the possibility of having a life she thought she could never have, she dies. I think it would be the same for Darrow. Giving all he has just for the possibility of a better life for his family and then just snatching away his ability to see the benefits of all his hard work would just be...unsatisfying.
The next piece of media I’d like to talk about is Castlevania, specifically the ending. During the final battle, Trevor is ready to sacrifice his life in order to save the world and everyone he loves from death (kind of like the protagonist of Persona 3); he succeeds and the audience assumes he died in the process. BUT, he doesn���t. I don’t remember if it was explained in detail but Trevor lived and he was able to live happily with his wife, his husband, and his son. You know who else has a wife, a son, and at least one husband??? DARROW.
Trevor was prepared to die so his story pretty much ended and his death wouldn’t have felt unreasonable...for HIS character. Alucard specifically was betrayed and abandoned by so many people that having Trevor come back to him felt like such a good thing. Trevor may have left him but then he returned so they all could live happily ever after. I think a bit of it was even though they all worked together, it still felt like everyone was on their own personal journey and if Trevor had stayed dead....while not unrealistic, something would have felt off. Like Alucard and Sypha wouldn’t be able to move on and have a peaceful life together. Trevor needed to come back to complete the trio.
I’m trying to separate each piece of media by the point they make so bear with me on the length of this. Yu Yu Hakusho is a really good anime series from the early 2000s. The main character, Yusuke, dies in the first few episodes but then he comes back to life. It’s very similar to the beginning of Red Rising when Darrow is recruited to the Sons of Ares. Yusuke also died during the Chapter Black arc when he was killed by Sensui. Because Yusuke has demon blood, he didn’t stay dead. It’s not quite the same as Darrow as he hasn’t died a second time. I’m not going to count the fake death when he was taken by Adrius as that did not happen during the Iron Gold trilogy. The reason that worked in Yu Yu Hakusho (and also worked in the beginning of Red Rising) is that there was still stuff to accomplish. This is a point I’ll be making again. A lot of this rides on what is going to happen in the 6th book but, as of now, Darrow’s death would leave too many things incomplete.
For the last thing I’m going to talk about in this particular part, the He-Man reboot is really good. Now, I never watched the original so my knowledge of lore is very limited. But they kill Adam off pretty quickly in the first season and we have an entirely different protagonist for most of it. Adam’s absence can be compared to having different POVs in IG and DA, where we essentially get to follow different protagonists. But the reason both Darrow and Adam come back is because their stories aren’t done yet. Completely removing them wouldn’t make sense based on what’s happening.
Of course, some of this implies that Darrow COULD die as long as it was at the end of the 6th book and every loose end was tied. But I don’t think that would work either but I think that’s a long train of thought I’ll have to save for the next part.
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everlarkficexchange · 3 years
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A Simple Choice
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Written by: @justajjfan​​​​
Beta’d by: @sunsetsrmydreams​​​​
Prompt 83: Katniss is whipped instead of Gale in Catching Fire, Peeta’s the one who’s there to take care of her after. [submitted by anonymous].
Prompt 116: Peeta braids Katniss’ hair to soothe her. [submitted by anonymous] 
Rating: Mature 
Warning: Mention of whipping. Use of coarse language.
A/N: We’re half-way…ish there. Thanks again @everlarkficexchange​ ; @javistg​ and @xerxia31​ for continuing to post my really late submission. @sunsetsrmydreams​ 💚
~~~
Chapter 4
Back in the kitchen I make quick work of preparing breakfast by slicing two thick pieces of bread and while I wait for them to toast lightly, I scoop a few teaspoons of home-made strawberry jam into a small dish before placing everything on the serving tray. Once the kettle has boiled, I pour the hot water into the tea pot and inhale the fragrant steam from the herbal tea leaves.
These are the things I know Katniss likes so I hope it will entice her enough to eat.
I had planned on running over to Katniss’ house earlier to grab a nightgown or something loose fitting for her to change into while her wounds healed but with my unexpected visitor, there isn’t time so it will have to wait until after she’s had something to eat.
Balancing the tray carefully, I approach my bedroom door to find it slightly open. I was positive I closed it before I came downstairs this morning so I wouldn’t wake Katniss from what looked like a peaceful sleep. But as I nudge the door gently open all the way with my foot, I am surprised to see Katniss standing by the window wrapped loosely in the thin bedsheet I draped over her yesterday, starring out towards the pathway and beyond the gate.
I take careful steps so I don’t startle her but the rattle from the empty teacup on top of its saucer ruins any attempt at me being quiet. Needless to say, Katniss doesn’t appear to have noticed me entering the room and seems caught in a trance clutching a separate piece of cloth close to her chest.
I know I shouldn’t be thinking this way about her but even draped in something as plain as a bedsheet and seeing the contours of her body as she stands in the morning light, Katniss is still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on and the urge to sketch her image is overwhelming. But any urges I feel right now are quickly supressed with a more pressing need to check on her wounds.
With that thought in mind, my eyes dart straight to the part of Katniss’ back not covered by the sheet and what I see…or rather don’t see, causes me to loosen my grip on the tray. Luckily, I make a quick recovery of my senses and save her freshly made breakfast from ending up in a messy heap on the carpeted floor.
“Oh my God Katniss,” I announce, my voice choked with elation. “Your wounds…they’re so much better,” I manage to say as I gawk at her bare back in amazement.
The criss-cross of jagged and bloodied welts of flesh that were spread across her back and shoulders yesterday have been replaced by faint pink lines. If I hadn’t cleaned and dressed her wounds myself, I wouldn’t have known they were there. 
She nods, bringing the cloth to her face and rubbing it lightly against her cheek, clearly not startled and being completely aware of my presence the whole time, “because you took good care of me,” she replies in a soft tone.
“I think it had a lot to do with Madge Undersee’s miracle salve…not me.”
Katniss shakes her head, “it was you…even after everything. You saved me and cleaned my wounds and—” her words fade as she tries to keep her emotions in check.
She’s always been so strong but seeing her like this surprises me and it hurts in ways I cannot even describe, “it’s what we do…you and me. Protect each other…no matter what,” I concede.
“She was right.”
“Who was?” I ask but she shakes her head again before burying her face in the cloth. Whether she meant her mother or maybe her sister I don’t want to press the issue. Katniss must still be a little groggy from the pain medication and having an empty stomach isn’t helping. 
Still holding onto that mysterious cloth as if her life depended on it, Katniss steps away from the window and walks slowly towards the bed and sits, “when I woke I couldn’t find you and I called out but you didn’t answer,” she tells me, her eyes slowly cast to the armchair beside the bed.
“Did you sleep there all night?” she questions, raising her head to look at me. I nod in silent reply. “It must have been uncomfortable for you.”
“I’ve slept in worse places,” I say as I edge closer, recalling our nights in the cave and I wonder if Katniss remembers too.
Our eyes lock onto each other and I have to clench my fists tighter around the handles of the breakfast tray to fight the strong desire to wrap my arms around her and kiss her deeply on the lips. The mere thought is threatening to engulf me like a burning ring of fire.
I’m setting myself for heartbreak all over again and I need to shake these feelings away. Katniss will leave as soon as she has her strength back and when that happens, I’ll be resigned to living the rest of my lonely and pathetic life with only her memory to keep me company.
Clearing my throat, I move to the bedside table and rest the tray on top, “I’m used to waking early and I didn’t want to disturb you…and what looked like a happy dream, so I went downstairs to make a start on preparing breakfast and some broth for lunch,” I say. “I’m sorry I didn’t hear you call out for me. I tend to get a little distracted when I’m kneading bread and I wanted to make sure you had a fresh loaf for toast and of course, strawberry jam. It’s still your favourite, right?”
She smiles shyly and nods, “you remembered.”
“I’d never forget something as important as that.”
Our eyes meet again and for a few seconds, neither of us utter a word. I clear my throat to break the silence and nervously reach for the breakfast tray, placing it carefully between us and pour the tea as Katniss watches on, tucking loose strands of hair behind her ears.
I guess my hair braiding skills leave a lot to be desired.
“Mmmm…peppermint tea,” Katniss says before taking a careful sip from the steaming cup. “Won’t your mother be angry with you for not turning up for work this morning?” she adds a moment later.
“I don’t care if she is,” I say, breaking a piece of toast and holding it out for her to take.
Katniss straightens up and looks at me before her eyes fall on the piece of toast then she draws in a deep breath before taking a bite straight from my hands. When her lips brush against my fingers, my breath hitches at the sensation and I struggle to stay focused.
“I-I’m part owner of the bakery now and I decide my own hours…n-not my mother,” I say as Katniss chews slowly, her grey eyes never leaving mine.
“Looking after you will always be my first priority,” I blurt out without thinking. I should probably apologies for my forwardness but I’m so transfixed on her mouth as she chews and swallows the first piece of toast, I’d only end up saying something even more stupid.
Katniss places the teacup back on the tray and breaks a piece of toast. Good, I think to myself, she’s hungry. But instead of taking a bite herself, she brings it to my lips in offering and I open my mouth wide and gently take it from her delicate fingers.
“Yes,” she whispers as I roll the toasted bread around in my mouth. Caught under a magical spell I want to live in forever, I find myself repeating it but as soon as the word leaves my lips, the smile on my face drops when Katniss brings the cloth close to her chest.
It’s the shirt I wore yesterday.
I get up from the bed a little too quickly and spill some tea on the tray but I don’t care. I’m annoyed and angry with myself for leaving the shirt on the bathroom floor. I meant to take it with me after I showered to throw it in the trash but my mind was happily tossing on what kind of bread I would bake for Katniss, it completely slipped my mind.
Katniss doesn’t say anything as I walk over to the dresser and pull out a clean white shirt from the top drawer which I think will do until we can get something of hers.
“I always forget to pick up after myself,” I laugh, trying to make light of the situation. “Here…let me take that from you and give you this to put on instead of that bedsheet,” I say, holding out my hand with the clean shirt. “We can go to your house later to grab some of your clothes, if you’re up to it,” I suggest.
Katniss nods and takes it with one hand but still clings to the shirt I carelessly left on the floor with the other. “The bread…it smelt so familiar and I was about to come downstairs to find you but I needed to use the bathroom first and…” she says looking down at the crumbled and soiled shirt still clutched tightly in her hand. “I never meant for any of this to happen…not to you.”
“And I wished with all my heart none of this happened to you, but here we both are.”
“How many?” Katniss asks, lifting her head to look at me.
I know what she’s asking and consider lying by giving her some lame explanation but how can I when she’s been holding onto the truth so tightly in her hands all this time, “just the one but I hardly think it matters…not compared to yours.”
“It matters to me!” Katniss says in a raised voice, her chin quivering. “The salve…you used some on yourself and it’s healed just like mine, right?” There’s a desperate look on her face as she waits for my confirmation.
“Peeta?”
I feel a huge lump in my throat and swallow hard, “you needed every bit of that salve and I wasn’t about to waste a drop of it on me. Besides, I hardly feel a thing now,” I admit truthfully.
“Take off your shirt!” Katniss demands as she turns to the bedside table and reaches frantically for the tin box containing what I know sits an empty jar inside. “There’s got to be a little left for you. Your shirt Peeta…please,” she pleads, trying to scrape any remnant of salve that I know isn’t there on her finger.
I take a hold of her dainty wrist and gently remove the jar from her fingers and place it back on the bedside table, “it’s okay Katniss…it doesn’t hurt anymore.”
“But you need some too. We look after each other…you said so yourself.”
Katniss places her trembling hands on my chest and guides them down my shirt and I don’t resist. Neither do I when she starts to undo each button one by one then gently pushes the fabric over my shoulders and down my arms. I stay silent the whole time and watch her face intently as she kneels on the bed and begins to trace her fingers ever-so softly over the single welt splayed mostly across my shoulder. My heart skips a beat and I let out a hiss but it’s not from any discomfort I’m feeling.
“Why is it every time I try to protect you, all I seem to do is cause you nothing but pain,” she sniffs, stopping her tender touch. “It was stupid of you to try and stop Thread. You should have stayed away.”
“Both us know I wasn’t about to stand back and watch Thread try to kill you. What were you thinking sneaking back to Twelve after you escaped with Gale and your family? That was pretty stupid too,” I counter, pulling my shirt back over my shoulders. “Why did you do that…come back I mean?”
“I-I already told you,” she answers as she helps me rebutton my shirt.
“You weren’t making much sense,” I admit. “You mentioned something about coming back for me but I’m sure that can’t be true. It was just the medicine talking,” I say as my mind replayed her slurred and sleepy words from yesterday.
“It is true Peeta. I came back for you.”
Her words are clear and precise and this time there’s no mistaking them.
…tbc
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