This is a long post about Shaman King I started to write ages ago and I don’t have a good title for it

Let me tell you about Shaman King for a few minutes, okay. Because the new anime adaptation is coming in like 3 months and I’m still not ready for it. Also I started to write this post 5 years ago just because I re-read the whole thing at the time and it’s been in my drafts since then. Oops

But yeah Shaman King was the very first fandom I got into when I first had a real internet access, around 2003-2004. I was around fifteen. The manga was still going. And in retrospect, it was full of problems. Among other things:

Not enough female characters & questionable choices for most of the ones who actually have a part to play in the plot

A black character drawn with big lips (see above), and I REALLY HOPE this is gonna get fixed in the new anime ; I mean even the author stopped drawing him like that a few years ago when he did the “remix tracks” extra chapters so come on please

An imaginary native american tribe who, while pretty cool, is still imagined by a Japanese dude in 1999 soooo yeah there’s some rough corners here and there (edit: got some anon hate about that but I'm sorry, "ancient aliens" tropes always make me uncomfortable)

An art quality which gets worse and worse over time due to deadline pressures and an increasingly exhausted author

Was stopped before it could reach its natural conclusion (the author drew an actual ending years later and tbh it’s great so I’m putting this very low on the list)

So yeah. Manga from 1999. Problematic. Aged badly. It happens.

BUT.

In retrospect, most of it is such a kick in the metaphorical butt of shonen manga as a whole I can’t believe it was competing against Naruto and One Piece at some point?? Like

It’s a shonen so it plays the "dramatic and sudden power jump” game, but it uses it to reach a surprising conclusion (in the “new” ending I mean)

Most of the characters are “shamans” which means they can see ghosts and spirits, and they use them to fight, to work, or to help other people. This is a manga in which you’re gonna see a Russian shaman channeling a Vodyanoy spirit into a drum to create a torrential flood. You don’t see that in every manga

It’s stated right away that no shaman can be truely, irredeemably bad, because only good-natured people can see ghosts and spirits.

So, no matter how bad a villain may be, they must have had a good nature once even if they look like a complete bastard at the moment.

How far is the author willing to go with that concept? Pretty far

Even without talking about the main villain and how the story ends because, duh, spoilers... Like

My favorite character, who gets a full redemption arc later, cuts someone open in his first chapter

He’s one of the good guys 10 volumes later

Speaking of which the amount of gore in this manga has to be seen to be believed, Jump would never let this happen nowadays

If you’re wondering why this is in the “positive” (......?) list it’s because I was 14/15 and all kids that age crave blood and angst

The main character, Yoh, pictured above, is very laid-back, and I mean very. He listens to the in-world equivalent of Bob Marley and constantly wears big headphones. Also he wears sandals, and sometimes there’s a weed leaf drawn on his t-shirt

His parents arranged a mariage between him and a girl shaman even though they’re still teenagers, so this would have potential for High Drama - but surprisingly enough it turns out they like each other and after that he just goes around saying “this is my future wife” and she’s like “hello if you touch him I’m going to end you”

It sounds weird and it......... is, tbh, but it’s also refreshing among all the “ugh, girls, yuck” tropes that nearly all shonen mangas used to have at the time

Yoh’s main goal in life is to live with minimal effort

When his grandfather tells him he must train to participate in a shaman tournament which happens every 500 years, because the winner gets a wish granted by the Great Spirit, he decides his wish will be to make everybody’s life easy so that nobody will ever be forced to work or do shit they don’t want to do to survive anymore

Yoh Asakura is a Millenial icon don’t @ me

Speaking of which

Almost everyone in this series is broke as f█ck

Yoh owns a big house but that’s only because the price was ridiculously low since it’s the most haunted place in Tokyo and nobody else wants to live there. The house is constantly full of other characters (including enemies) who have literally nowhere else to go

The only important character who isn’t broke has money because his family is super rich but he hates all of them because they’re all bastards so it’s super awkward

Another character bought a really cool motorbike but he’s going to be in debt for the next 40 years

Also he’s a hobo

And also bi

What I’m trying to say is: relatable

Also the tournament is held by an imaginary Native American tribe. They’re also broke. All of them. The two judges who are in charge of the main characters live in a cramped appartment and often try to sell souvenirs in the street to pay the rent

I know that’s hashtag problematic but I still love them I can’t help it

Just like in most shonen mangas the hero seems to amass a big collection of Friends but since everyone is a weirdo in a way or another and comes from all over the world it looks even funnier

At some point during the tournament, the main characters have to form small groups of three in order to participate to the next part. Yoh’s team is one of the strongest teams among the ones we’ve met at this point, and is composed of 1) Yoh, a laid-back sleepy kid wearing toilet sandals 2) the aforementioned bi hobo who’s sad because his current crush is in a rival team, and 3) a thirty-something tatooed guy with no legs and an IV drip and who looks like he hasn’t slept since 1997

Oh and they all wear adds for a bath house

Because remember: everyone’s f█cking broke

Spoilers for the mid-point of the manga but I need to talk about it because it encapsulates everything I used to love in it

You’ve been warned

So

At some point the main character, Yoh, is asked to choose between staying in the tournament or resurrect his rival

This is framed as some kind of very heavy, very huge dilemma. Like oh no what will he do. Will he give up his dreams and hopes. Will You Push The Button(tm)

So the choice is presented to him

In a very dramatic way

And he immediately goes “there’s a way to save him?? YES PLEASE”

He doesn’t hesitate a single second and drops the tournament in a heartbeat to save the guy

This scene greatly contributed to make me a better person I’m not even joking at all

I love Yoh

So anyway I don’t have a proper conclusion for this

Shaman King is very flawed and its flaws need to be acknowledged to fully appreciate all the good things in it, and the “old” fandom from more than 15 years ago was a very good formative experience for me because the forum I was on (which was nuked from the face of the internet by a hacker “looking for training grounds” (his words not mine, he posted it on our frontpage a full week before he did it) in 2005, rip) was full of people who were really into criticising every little aspect of the manga but still loved it dearly

And I think that’s a healthy way to enjoy things and I think we should bring this back

Anyway

Shaman King extremely flawed but full of good things

I still can’t believe it’s back

Johannes out

Hello! I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfy but I was wondering if I could get a bit of advice? From your recent posts, you said you left your home from toxicity and just bad things in general.

I’m in a similar situation, but my dad will be taking me away from my mom. And I just know it’ll be a shit show. And I’m absolutely terrified when we tell her and what the backlash will be afterwards towards my brothers and me and dad in general

How did you do it? How did you take the leap? Do you possibly have any advice on how to deal ?

Hello, friend!! ☀️

Thank you so much for reaching out, it means a lot that you value my advice <3

Hmm, okay from what I can tell of your situation, that is indeed a tricky one, but nothing can’t be overcome!

It’s important to remember, though, I was 19 when I left (now 20), so the way I handled things is going to be a lot different than how a minor can handle things (legally at least, feel free to replicate my insane stunts lmao)

Advice below the cut! (family violence trigger warning, I suppose?)

My entire family was and is extremely volatile, and I don’t speak to any of them anymore except for my older brother, but I’ll be cutting him off in 3 weeks too when I move.

Fortunately, my dad and brother were both kicked out of the house years ago due to violence, which left me with my mother, who’s quite insidious herself (just watch any Conjuring movie and that’ll give a good idea of what it was like living in that house lol)

I get the same feeling watching this scene as when I was around her in that house. Granted she didn’t try to change my gender, but the hatred for my father getting taken out on me is pretty accurate lol, paired with the immediate “motherly love” afterwards (she never hit me though, pleased to say — she wasn’t physically violent, just emotionally, financially, mentally and verbally. She did try to run my dad over once though, so, there’s that too)

Yikes…yeahh the same eerie feeling for sure, still makes all my hairs stand upright in memory.

(For further context this clip reminds me of my father and this one of my brother)

In the clip about my father, he definitely reminds me of Frank Gallagher, except he despises my mother instead of revering her. He’s a workaholic instead of a drug addict, too. But the mannerisms are the same. I always handled him in the way Fiona does.

Regarding my brother, I think everything about our family hit him the hardest, despite being the oldest. He developed a very violent streak, and has very poor impulse control. I love him dearly but he’s a snake in the grass, and has thrown me under the bus multiple times to get ahead in life. I mostly just pity him, since I know what our life was like growing up. But still, I can’t defend him forever, especially not at the cost of myself. Literally yesterday I woke up to a text from him asking me to come pick him up because he got arrested for starting a fight at a bar and smashing their windows.

When things started getting pretty bad with my mother earlier this year, I started to realise in my heart that there was no way I could go forth in life with her in it. I focused on the future relationships I would have one day when far away from this town — romantic partner, children, friends etc

I sort of realised one day I’d care about them a lot more than I care about my mother, because those future people would care about me. That in turn got me realising that I do deserve love, despite how my mother made me feel, and that I don’t want her to deprive another second of that in my life.

Something very unique that triggered this too was going to go visit an old family psychic, who’s basically just the Gandalf to my Frodo (ily, Chris <3). He very accurately predicted my birth years ago after my mother was told she was infertile — he got the date, year and time right three years in advance, and even knew ahead of time what my personality would be like, which he was spot-on about.

Well, I went and visited him a few months ago because I was lost with my direction, and he ended up pausing and had a sudden feeling, which led to him telling me that he’d just found out I would be having twin boys one day.

Normally I don’t buy into that stuff, but this Gandalf dude…well I knew he was right.

Knowing I’d have sons of my own one day took me from a scared daughter mindset and into a maternal mother bear in an instant, and I knew I didn’t want any children of mine around my mother or the rest of my family, for their safety alone, which made me realise, “Well, if I wouldn’t allow my own children near them, why do I allow myself?”

I started grey-rocking her in the lead-up to me leaving, which of course frustrated her (she’s a malignant narcissist), but it was a necessary step to start emotionally detaching myself from her.

It all bottled over one night after a pretty distressing argument (I had locked myself in my room to avoid it, but she was still at my door carrying on).

My cat, who’s been my best friend for years, was sitting on the floor next to me, and sort of looked up and I swear he spoke with his eyes, saying, “You know we can’t keep doing this, right? You know this abuse has an expiry date?”

I agreed with my cat and knew right then and there that I’d be leaving that night after my mother fell asleep.

Well, when she was finally done (with threats that there’d be more in stock in the morning, mind you) I went to bed early and set my alarm to 3am (was a little inside joke with myself, since that’s biblically the “witching devil hour”)

I started quietly packing my quilt and cat up (I’d already been secretly packing the boot of my car up with all sentimental and important items weeks in advance, except she caught on and took all my baby albums and more to her boyfriend’s house, so I don’t have any baby photos or information on me when I was a baby anymore, like first words, size and just general things I’d have liked to compare to my own kids one day, rip)

Once that was all in my car, I quietly said goodbye to the old family dog and cat (they weren’t mine to take, not that I could’ve anyways, since it was troubling enough taking Buddy, who’s actually my pet and not the family one). That was pretty heartbreaking, as I knew that’d be the last time I’d see them (I grew up with them and was the only one who took care of them — mother neglects kids and pets alike lmao).

Once that was over, I looked around my house with my hand on the front door and was very melancholy, but knew Buddy was right: it had all reached its expiry date.

I left very quietly and drove to McDonalds for a coffee, as I had a long drive ahead (I had organised to be a nanny in this rich family’s house far away in the city — two hours drive). Luckily they were away on their country farm 4 hours away, so I had time to sneak Buddy in.

The nanny thing recently backfired horribly because they discovered Buddy, which led to more AM escapes with my car, but I’m staying with my older brother and his gf for 3 more weeks only. Something I’ve been working towards for months now is moving to a wilderness island to live in my country’s equivalent of Bag End — a beautiful country cottage, amazing job and fantastic study opportunities.

Best feature yet: it’s 60 hours away from my hometown by car, and then you’d have to take a boat for 10 more hours!! They shall never find me hahaha

One of my friends has also told me recently that my mother has started spreading horrible, defamatory rumours about me around town, but I don’t care anymore because I’m almost out.

So, although I can’t offer any practical advice (idk if you’re a minor or not, but regardless it’s great your dad is helping you!) this is the best advice I can offer:

Find a dream and hold onto it, one that doesn’t involve your immediate family. For me it’s moving to that island and enjoying all the fresh air. It’ll push you forwards and remind you of what you’re fighting for when at your lowest.

Remind yourself there will be other people in your life, whether a spouse, friends, children or even a dog! (I’m getting a golden retriever next year 🐾) And then remember that you deserve all of them and the unconditional love they offer you.

Remember that if you don’t want your mother/family screwing those people over by proxy of her/their relationship to you, then there’s no way in hell you alone should put up with it either, as I guarantee those future people only want good things for you ☀️

There is a good life after abuse, I’ve seen it, and I know you can achieve it, too!

Be prepared for tons of backlash and bullshit — it’s inescapable when dealing with people like this, but I recommend educating yourself on narcissistic parents and tactics to deal with them.

Finding a good therapist who deals in PTSD regarding childhood abuse is important, too. I found an amazing one in the town I’m moving to, who had nearly the same upbringing as me!

So while I’m still struggling with a lot of fear (scared my mother will find where I’m working and living one day) and guilt (I feel horrible about leaving the family dog and cat behind, especially when they need veterinary help, only to then go and get myself another puppy) I understand I’ve done the best I can in a very abnormal situation, and that I can only do better from here.

Also, this song has been a saving grace when going all angsty over wanting to leave your current situation:

It’s from my favourite Broadway Musical, “Newsies”, and lemme tell you — discovering this as a 17-year-old when I was just starting to realise the severity of my situation was pure divinity.

Jeremy Jordan, my beloved Broadway Bard <3

When I finally get my cottage, I’m getting a wooden plaque with the name “Santa Fe” engraved on it, and am hanging it on my front door.

I wish you much luck and love, my little anonymous friend! And please know my inbox is open any time you need anything — vent, advice, a laugh or something else, ANYTHING, it feels good to know my past can maybe help someone else’s present ☀️

Please update me, too! I’m following your story along ardently now! (Also, be sure to take your sentimental items and store them somewhere safe away from your mother — ie baby albums, birth certificates, other paraphernalia/memorabilia etc).

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must hit the road. DESTINY AWAITS!

Rate this (Trust is Hard to Come By)

Its six am here and I just got to work. And am now writing a drabble at my desk. Again tweaked prompt a bit. Oh and I just realized that based on this and my last few “drabble” that are long that some picture books… I don’t know what a drabble. Or least I know it doesn’t apply to what I usually write.

No one would who or what had caused the akuma this time. However, when a thirteen-year-old superfan of Ladybug got Akumatized, everyone knew it.

A loud voice boomed in the ears of all the citizens in Paris, “Beware Paris, I am the Gardener, protector of the Loveliness. Those who have failed our Queen Ladybug will be revealed. A number you shall be given on a scale to 100; the higher the number, the more trust the Queen has in you. Low numbers have failed our Queen, betrayed our queen, betrayed the loveliness, and will be punished!”

“Loveliness,” Adrien asked, already preparing to make a break for it to transform.

           Unaware that Marinette decided to wait for a bit. Some lessons needed to be learned the hard way.  All the kids were at lunch and seemed to be enjoying the day until the alert happened.

           Max pushed his glasses up, “A group of ladybugs is called a ‘loveliness of ladybugs.’. Gardeners love Ladybugs because Ladybugs protect their gardens.”

“Cool!” Kim grinned. “We get to see how much Ladybug digs us.”

           Alya preened, “I’m at least a 90.” She pulled out her phone. “I’m so going to live stream this.”

“I think I’m like an 80, dude,” Nino smirked.

           All the kids gave their guess; most figuring they were at least in the 70s. It was Alya who joked, that Marinette probably had a ten.

           The others agreed; thinking the girl had been such a bully lately, and so mean to Lila.

           Marinette overheard them from where she, Chloe, Kagami and their new friends sat. A smirked spread across her face. This would be good.

           A blindingly flash filled the cafeteria. When it was gone, all the kids had numbers above their heads.

           One by one the excited grins on the students of Bustier’s class faded.

“A two,” Alya paled. “How can I be a two?” A dark ugly red 2 floated above her head. She touched the number and words appeared next to it: Warning: Disloyal. False friend. Bully. Anger control problems. Easily swayed. Bad journalist… etc.

           Nino frowned, “I got a four.” How could he have a four? He was carapace. Ladybug had chosen him herself. Or at least she had. He hadn’t gone Super in over a year. Was that when Ladybug lost her trust in him?

           He touched the number. His warning said: bad friend. Disloyal. Bully. He touched it again before he could read any more.

           Kim had a five. Alix had a three. Mylene had a seven. Rose and Juleka had 10s. Ivan had an eight. Nathanial had an eleven. Max had a six.  All were in the red. All had similar warning signs.

           Adrien had frozen in his seat when he saw his number. A 14. How could he be a 14? Why did Ladybug barely trust him? They were partners, friends, maybe more one day. But how could they be any of that she didn’t trust him.

           He touched his number. His warning sign read: Naïve, Spineless, pushy, Bad friend, and, in bold letter, COWARD.

“We should go,” Max whispered. “People are staring.”

           And sure enough they were. Most of the student body had numbers in the 30s or 40s, it was respectable seeing as they barely dealt with the hero. However, this meant it was easy to find the kids who ranked so much lower.

           Slowly suspicious eyes fell on Bustier’s class. What had they done, most wondered. Whatever, it was they knew it was bad. Somehow the students of Bustier’s class had hurt Ladybug. And as far as the rest of the school was concerned, and those watching from Alya’s livestream, if Ladybug couldn’t trust them, they couldn’t either.

           Marinette watched with cold eyes as her classmates and ex-friends scrambled to rush out of the cafeteria. Still she kept a smile on her face as one by one student came up to thank her for whatever she had done for Ladybug; for being such a good friend to the hero.

           A glowing, bright beautiful emerald green 92 floated above her. It was the highest number anyone had seen so far. Her words attached were less of a warning and more of brag: Loyal, Honest, Good. Trustworthy. Caring. A great friend. Hardworker. Heroic. Brave. Then her warning was: A bit too insecure but working on it.

           Aurore beamed at her friend, livestreaming from her own phone to her new Bugout. She had a neon green 70 above her head. Her words: Honest, Hardworker, loyal, good friend, amazing journalist. “Everyone post a pic of themselves with the number above their heads; it’s blowing up Twitter.”

           Chloe gave everyone smug grins, as she had the second 86 above hers. Her words: Brave, strong, loyal, good. A great hero. A great friend.

Kagami had a 72. Her words: loyal, confident, headstrong, good, good friend.  Marc a 67. Ondine a 66. Claude a 71. They all had similar ones to Kagami.

“You’re in Bustier’s class, right, Marinette?” A girl who had come to thank Marinette had asked. Her question drew attention from everyone. “Are you going to be safe there? With them?”

           Claude frowned, “Maybe you shouldn’t go back there.”

           It took a lot of reassurance to get her friends and even quite a few of the other students who had been in the cafeteria to allow her to go back to her class. Even then, Marinette found Ms. Mendeleiev, who had a solid forest green 71 above her head and had a bit more pep in her step that usual, escorting her and Chloe to class.

           Students in the hall moved out of Marinette way as soon as they saw her coming, a look of awe on their faces. The bluenette couldn’t find the pink blush that crept on to her face.

           They knew they had gotten to Bustier’s class when they saw the red glow emerging from the room

           Alya couldn’t believe it. How couldn’t Ladybug trust her? She was Rena Rouge. Or least she had been. There had been a new Fox running around with Ladybug, lately. Rena hadn’t been seen in over a year. Still, Alya ran the Ladyblog. Alya thought they were friends. But how could that be true with a 2 above her head. And she wasn’t a bully or disloyal.

           The rest of the class had a similar mindset. Even Bustier, who had a three, had a sorrowful look on her face. She didn’t understand what she had done wrong.

           When green glows entered the room, they all noticed. Mouths dropped.

           Ms. Mendeleiev with a 71, they could understand. She was a great teacher, no one could deny it. The beautiful blond Chloe they could sort of understand. She had an 86; maybe she had done more good as Queen Bee than they knew about. Marinette though? Their minds just couldn’t compute.

           How could Marinette have a 92?

           They read the words attached to her and Chloe’s numbers with disbelief.

           Said girl thanked Mendeleiev who had taken to blatantly staring at Bustier with distrust. It occurred to Mendeleiev, that the younger teacher did have an absurdly high number of Akuma transformation from her students. When Mendeleiev and told everyone what she had seen and realized; most of the other faculty would begin to keep a close eye on Bustier and her class. Something just wasn’t right with that lot.

           Marinette and Chloe made their way to the seats in back. The green above their heads looked a halo.

           Alya wanted to scream. “Why does Ladybug trust you?” She asked the girls.

“She’s Queen Bee,” Marinette pointed at Chloe. “A loyal ally of Ladybug.”

           Chloe smirked, “Don’t you remember that it was Marinette who first got you that interview with Ladybug; the reason your blog became as popular as it did?” She asked reporter. “Marinette’s Ladybug’s friend.”

           Any scathing thing the students had been thinking to sneer at the girls died on their lips. Marinette was Ladybug’s friend. They knew Marinette knew the hero but never thought about how close they were.

“Why do think Ladybug stopped giving you interviews?” Chloe leaned back in her seat. A euphoric feeling filling her. “She only started working with you in the first place because she knew you were Marinette’s bestie. Once that changed, well… Ladybug just didn’t want to work with you anymore. Something about Journalistic Professionalism. How is your website doing by the way? I haven’t checked in a while. I normally use Aurore’s Bugout blog. Ladybug endorses it, you know?”

           Marinette could have kissed the blond. The devastation on Alya’s face was finally karma for all the nasty texts she had sent to Marinette before she change her number.

           Nino pulled his girlfriend into a hug.

“She read those texts you sent me by the way.” Marinette sent them a cold smirk as horrified looks overcame their faces. “Every last one. She was so disappointed.”

“You showed her?” Rose whispered. “How could you show her?”

“Why not?” Marinette shrugged. Rose hadn’t sent as many mean texts as the others in class and weren’t all that mean; just accusatory and claiming that she refused to be friends with a Bully. “I trust her. She trusts me. I even sent her videos of what a day in our class has been like lately. Ladybug got to see and hear everything personally. She has so many concerns about the goings on in this. She’ll be going to the school board with the videos.”

           Bustier paled. She knew the students had gotten a bit out of hand but surely they weren’t that bad. They were just kids after all. (The teacher would get her answer a week later, along with a pink slip.)

           Alya sobbed as she remembered everything she sent Marinette. How could she know Ladybug would read them? No wonder Alya got a 2. Ladybug probably hated her. “I only sent that because you were being such a bully.”

“Yeah,” Alix hissed. “It’s not fair. You were being such a freak about Lila!” There were nods.

           And as the old saying goes, speak of the devil, and the devil…

           Lila had taken her sweet time getting to school that day. She had lied to her mother that it was closed for the morning because an Akuma. And it was just her luck that one would appear. She had stayed in bed all day, earphones blasting music in her ear, wondering just how she’ll amazing her classmates that day. It felt great to be adored.

           When Lila got up to leave for school, she looked in the mirror and saw a dark, blood red glowing Negative 51 above her head. She shrugged and left her apartment. Earphones still in her ears. A happy smile on her face.

           She didn’t notice the shocked and disgusted looks on people’s faces as she passed them. Or why a mother picked up her a child and ran in the other direction. Lila didn’t see the brave man who reached out, with shaky hands, and touched her number as she passed by. Nor she see the People taking pictures of her and her warning signs. The photos went viral almost instantly, everyone wanted to know just who was the girl with the only negative number in all of Paris… As far they knew.

           When Gabriel Agreste saw Lila’s image on the web, he ordered Nathalie to sever all connections to the teen girl and release a statement making it clear the company had no idea just what Lila Rossi had been capable of. Afterwards, Gabriel wondered what Lila had done to earn such a dramatically low number.

           Gabriel himself was at a respectable and average 30. While Nathalie was at solid 34. Decent not too green numbers. Though as Hawkmoth, they were both an Ugly negative -2. He knew he was a Supervillian; Ladybug regarded him as a bad guy. But she seemed to regard Lila Rossi as pure evil.

           …Maybe Hawkmoth should sever his connection to the Italian girl as well.

           Lila arrived at school, just at the end of lunch, students had just started to leave the cafeteria for lunch. She didn’t notice that students stopped in their tracks to stare at her. Or the teachers with horrifying and calculating looks on their faces. She didn’t seem Damocles’ pale and rush off to call her mother.

           She didn’t notice anything. Lila just smiled pleasantly; having decided to go with a Prince Ali story that day. Maybe that he asked her to marry him. She’d be the envy of all the girls in class.

           However, when Lila got to the class she did notice the shocked looks she got from her classmates. But not the cold smirk on Marinette’s face.

“What?” Lila asked looking around. “Did something happened? Oh, no is the Akuma still around? How awful!”  She said fighting the smile off her face. Hopefully Ladybug was getting her ass kicked, she thought.

           Alya dropped her phone. Negative? How could Lila be negative? How could she have such a low negative number at that?

           Everyone in class read the giant warning label attached to Lila Rossi’s number: Liar, backstabber, nasty, bully, untrustworthy, manipulative, rotten, villain, horrible person; the list went on and on. However, it was that shook them to their cores: Evil. Not bad. Not awful. Evil.

           Alya collapsed against her boyfriend, “No. No. I didn’t know. I swear.”

“Shh, it’s okay,” Nino comforted her. “None of us knew.” There were nods from the other students.

           Marinette and Chloe looked at them with narrowed eyes because: What the hell.

“Except I told you she was a liar,” Marinette glared at them. “You didn’t listen. You turned against me… for her.”

“You turned against Marinette,” Chloe said slowly. “The girl who did everything for you. And for what? A few glittery stories and false promises?”

           Adrien closed his eyes. Was this why Ladybug distrusted him? Because he didn’t side with Marinette like he knew he should’ve. Plagg had warned him he was wrong. But he just didn’t want to risk losing all his friends like Marinette seemed to be losing hers.

Marinette looked at Rose, “Now I want you think again about every text you all sent me because of Lila Rossi.” Once again the students turned pale. They had been so mean, so harsh, so unbelievable cruel to the girl that had been so dear to their hearts. “Now I want you to remember again that Ladybug saw them.”

           Rose was the first to break out in tears. “I’m-I’m sorry!” She sobbed and struggled to find her words. She had disowned one of her closest friends for a villain. “I’m so sorry!”

           Other students were in the same boat she was. The fiery Alix was had been contemplating going on another tirade against Marinette when Lila walked in, felt her anger be snuffed out a like a campfire in a thunderstorm. The pink haired girl remembered helping lead the charge in showing Marinette what it was like to be bullied; tripping her, ripping of her homework, shoving her. What she done? Kim had been crushing on Lila hard felt crushed. Marinette had been since friend since pre-k, and he just… left her.

           Lila looked honestly confused. She had missed something, and it was big. “What’s going on?”

           Nino glared at the girl; his eyes red, tear streaks his face. “Those numbers tell the world how much Ladybug trusts you. Or how much she doesn’t,” He said darkly, thinking about his own number and his actions against the girl he once called his best friend. “And why.”

“The lower the number,” Adrien added. “The less she trust you.”

           Chloe leaned forward in her seat and sent vicious smirk to the Italian girl, “And guess who has the only negative number in Paris.” She teased. “Besides Hawkmoth, but at least he was smart enough to hide. You’re trending by the way.”

“No!” Lila said, looking around desperately, but all she saw was cold stares. “No!” She pulled out her phone, and sure enough the name Lila Rossi was trending. Her picture with the giant negative number above her head seem to be everywhere. “This can’t be happening! How can this be happening!”

           Marinette stood up, “Because you’re a bad person. You’re mean and you’re cruel. And worst yet, you dragged everyone down with you.” She said. Her voice was righteous or angry. It was like she was stating a fact from a history book. Marinette looked over every single one of her ex-friends, “Ladybug will never trust you again.”

           The bell rang.

“Time for class,” Chloe sang. “Maybe you guys will finally learn something.”

New Royalty

(here's that supernatural cross over fic! i'm still not sure i'm happy with it how it turned out but here it is! 😂)

@indigosaurus @zealoushound @killjoy-assbutt-1112 @hope-to-hell @wendimydarling @infinite-shite @inlovewithhisblueeyes

Being a crossroads demon, life wasn’t easy. Especially so now, when you’re adjusting to becoming the fresh new King Of Hell. I wanted to continue my job as a crossroads demon because truthfully, I loved the work. But, being the King was a daunting task all on its own, so I let my number one Knight Of Hell, my brother (for all intents and purposes) Sy, handle the crossroads deals. And he had been doing an amazing job, snatching up souls left and right. But I could tell by the look on his face as he stormed into the great hall, that something had gone very very wrong.

“August, I can’t handle this chick anymore! She’s driving me fucking nuts! And she must be a lawyer or somethin’ because she knows her contracts man. But she’s driving me up the wall and I’m gonna gank this bitch with the First Blade if you don’t go talk to her.” Sy shouted through the hall as he approached my throne. The anger was rolling off of him in waves, scaring away the low level demons milling about.

“Sy what are you talking about?” I asked, flipping through pages of paperwork. “Listen, there’s this girl who keeps summoning me right? And there’s no offer I make her that will make her take the deal and eventually I get annoyed and I leave. And EVERY night she does this. She summons me EVERY. NIGHT. And this last time I went topside to see what she wanted and SHE ASKED TO SPEAK TO THE FUCKING MANAGER. Can you believe this shit?!” Sy said, finishing with an exasperated sigh.

“What’s her deal? Like what does she want?” I asked, genuinely curious about this strange woman and what she wanted. “Dude she won’t tell me! I told her whatever she wants is gonna cost her, her soul and I’ll come and collect it in 10 years. No dice. I offered 11 years, ya know an extra year to sweeten the pot but still no. She said the only way she’ll stop summoning me is if I give her a good enough deal or if I send my boss. August I can’t keep dealing with her. I have so much shit to do. You ever been zapped away in the middle of a battle with a leviathan? Because I can now say that I have! And it sucked! Please, I know you’re busy too but can you PLEASE deal with her?” Sy pleaded, kneeling at my feet, his hands clasped together.

“Fine. I’ll go up there just this once. But do not make it a constant thing to come in here asking me to do this. The King does not make it a habit to bend the rules for anyone. Not even his own brother.” I said, casting a glance down at him. I stood up from my throne and stretched out my arms and legs before heading to the crossroads.

When I arrived there was a stunning girl leaning against a shitty blue pick up truck, her head hanging low and her boot drawing patterns in the dirt. “Hey! You wanted to see me?” I called out, her head snapping up to look at me. “Yeah. Yeah I did.” She said. As she made her way closer to me I could sense there was something different about her. I don’t know how Sy couldn’t tell what she was but I definitely could.

“Ah ah ah sweetheart. I don’t trust angels. Drop the blade in the back of your truck or I’ll smoke outta here faster than you can blink alright?” I demanded. She was an angel. And not just in the sense that she was beautiful, no. She was a real angel. Hidden wings, angel blade, grace, and all. She was stunningly beautiful but terrifying at the same time. The blood beneath my skin thrummed with anticipation. What could this gorgeous, heavenly creature want from me?

“Oh! Oh right sorry! I forgot to ditch it because I didn’t know if you would actually come talk to me! I’m Y/N.” She replied with nervous laughter, throwing her sword into her truck. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at her. “So, what ever could you want to talk to me about? My brother said you’ve exhausted him. I suggest you don't try that with me, I'm far less forgiving.” I grinned.

“Well you see, the thing is, Sy didn’t understand what I wanted and I think it’s because he couldn’t tell what I was. I’m what's considered an archangel. One of the original angels that God created.” She said. “Oh honey I know exactly what you are. I could see it the minute my feet hit the ground up here. Dont waste my time with things I already know. Spit it out. Now.” I grumbled, growing impatient.

“Okay. So you obviously know my brother Lucifer, he used to be like your leader or whatever. But what no one knows is that I was supposed to fall too. Lucifer took the full blame even though everything that happened was half my fault. I believed in him and his cause but he insisted I stayed upstairs with Dad and the rest. When they found out I had conspired against them they locked me up for thousands of years. Can you believe that?! God forbid I’m a free thinker! Pun intended. I’ve finally gotten free and I needed to get the fuck out. I’m so angry and I just can’t stay there anymore!” Y/N growled. Her eyes were glowing with the force of her anger and it made the surrounding air sizzle.

This woman didn’t know it but she was having quite the effect on me. The cogs in my brain were spinning with all the ideas of what she would say next. “Y/N what do you want from me? There’s a reason you keep contacting my brother and I want to know why.”

“I want to strike a deal.” She said. “No shit sweetheart. That’s what everyone wants. I want to know what the deal is since you refuse to speak to Sy.” I huffed, growing tired of this game. Dancing around the point was never my favorite thing.

The beautiful stranger sauntered closer to me and splayed her hand over my chest before slowly lifting her gaze to meet my eyes. I could feel the warmth radiating from her palm and it made my skin tingle and the blood in my groin pulse. “Every king needs a queen right?” She said, grinning up at me. “You take me as your queen, and we all get what we want. I get to take my place in hell where I should have been a long time ago, and in return you get an extra set of hands and eyes to help you run the joint. I can help you August. Truly I can. And you can help me.” Y/N murmured, delicate fingers tracing over my chest.

I mulled it over for a moment, weighing the options and all that. It would be good to have a loyal partner to help me run my empire and she was beautiful and intriguing so I wouldn’t mind her being my wife. Also she had a great deal of power and with her in my arsenal I would never lose, should the opportunity of war arise. The decision was an easy one.

“Well if you know so much about crossroads deals, you know how we seal this contract don’t you?” I smirked, my eyes flashing to black. “Of course I do. I’ve been waiting for this part for weeks.” She said, her hand snaking around the back of my neck and pulling my face towards her. Our lips met in a heated clash and I could feel electricity pulsing from her body. A loud thunder clap sounded in the distance as her tongue slipped into my mouth. The feeling of kissing her was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. My hands began to roam her body and squeeze her flesh. She was so warm but so strong, like velvet covered steel. I couldn’t get enough of her. My lips moved to her neck and I tugged on her sensitive skin with my teeth. The whimper that fell from her lips sounded like paradise. She was clawing at my back and writhing against me and all I had done was kiss her. Her responses to my touch were amazing and I never wanted this to end. I pulled back for a moment to catch my breath and she whined like I’d stabbed her. I pressed my lips to the shell of her ear before whispering, “Sweetheart, if we keep going at it like this I’m going to have no choice but to fuck you on the very ground you stand on.”

“So do it. I want you to. I’m yours now.” She snarled. Before I could register what was happening, she hooked her right leg behind mine and shoved at my chest, effectively bringing me to the ground. Once we landed, I began kissing her again, my snaking my tongue into her mouth. She audibly moaned when I ground my hard length against her clothed center.

“Baby, I’m all about dry-humping but if you don’t hurry up and get inside me I actually might explode. And the last time an archangel exploded, cities were leveled and people were killed.” She giggled. “Keep sweet talking me honey. Death and destruction are a demons favorite things.” I groaned into her neck, a mischievous smile on my lips, before I sank my teeth into her neck. She laughed aloud, the sound like bells, and I never wanted to hear anything else ever again.

She took my face in her small hands, her beautiful eyes scanning my face before whispering “Take me home August. It’s where we belong.”

THE END

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 4 "Haunted House" (Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)

A girl died in this tub.

There's no record of any of these names except for one.

Oh, my god, there's two of them!

I own Halloween. It's my jam.

Halloween is the most important day of the year. It's the one day on the Gregorian calendar where you're allowed to go around terrifying children and not be branded a psychopath.

I am a future network news anchor who's super classy and has almost no fat on her body.

A lot of my fans are, like, friendless dumpy coeds at this or that nursing school in one of this country's various national armpits.

They put down their hot pockets and bask in the warm glow of what it feels like to love me.

I went shopping with my comatose grandmother's credit card and bought presents.

Oh, my god, it says my name!

I hope the severed leg brightens up your trailer park.

You're a bright light in my life, and I wanted you to know how much you impress me with your frumpy spirit.

You are so devastatingly mediocre and adorable!

I can't wait to see you in person, but before that, I'd like to see you post this all over social media, to exploit it for my own gain.

Aah! It's a rotting jack-o'-lantern!

Aah! This box is just filled with blood!

She got me a razor apple!

I stole this cadaver head from an ophthalmology student just for you.

You're the most important person in the world.

So you didn't see anyone in a red devil costume entering or leaving the house?

Are you coming to the precinct pig roast this year?

Come on, she's obviously the killer!

Do you mean to suggest I changed out of my nightgown, strapped myself into a skintight pleather red devil costume, climbed out a second-story dormer, and shimmied to the ground with a chain saw before entering a window I had left open, tried to kill you, then leapt out the window, climbed back up the wall, changed back into my nightgown,

and raced downstairs, all in the course of about 90 seconds?

Clearly that's got you a little freaked out.

I'm not gonna hold any of this against you, and I'm gonna let you be my date for the faculty Halloween party.

Attempted murder!

A guy was almost killed tonight, okay?

Now, no, I'm not a detective, hell, I ain't even a cop, but what I am is somebody who watched every one of those Cosby mysteries, okay?

See? Dismemberment!

I am so sorry that I pushed you out of my car and drove off real scared.

I just can't believe that How To Lose A Guy In 10 days is your favorite movie, too.

In precisely two and half minutes when we go in there, you let me do all the talking.

What are you dressed as?

Oh, you have a squirrel. Don't see that much anymore.

Breakfast is almost ready, we got meat today.

What can you tell us about that night?

Now, we will keep your name out of it, of course.

'm a vault,

And to get in this vault you need a key. Now, you may ask, a key to what? It's a key to meaning. Once you've found the meaning, you don't need the words. You know what I'm saying?

Please, continue with your story.

Have any of you ever heard of "negligent homicide"?

We need to dispose of this body on our own. Now, I've got everything we need in the kitchen to make sausages out of her.

I'm gonna go downstairs, shut this party down, and then we'll get the body out of here.

Somebody has to watch after the baby.

Can you at least turn on the radio?

Just leave the details to me.

We can't just act like this never happened.

She's the devil, that one.

I looked at that baby up close. I know my peas and carrots. That baby was a girl.

Your support doesn't matter.

My campaign needs a theme?

My pumpkin's drunk.

I'm hosting a haunted house to raise money for sickle cell anemia.

Why are you holding a fund-raiser, though?

I don't think you understand the magnitude of the miscalculation you just made.

I can assure you you will not be winning an election anytime soon. And when you lose, I am gonna make it my lifelong passion to destroy your reputation.

You're a stuck-up little sociopath, and everybody in this room knows it.

It might behoove you to recall that everyone here witnessed you actually murder someone

Just sharpening knives.

Put the knives down.

I don't know what came over me.

How very adolescent of you to think of this.

It vaguely smacks of something my six-year-old sister would be excited about.

It's the most disgusting disease in the history of mankind.

You get it when you don't even understand the most basic tenets of oral hygiene.

Just give the dang thing its pot of gold already!

I ain't got no candy!

Bet you're a sexy dirt-covered girl. That's what I bet you are.

Sometimes I come out here and I just rub my hands on the gravestones.

I get you more than anyone.

I also find the thought of dead bodies extremely arousing.

I just don't understand why I have all these dark feelings.

You know, I just think our generation's had it too easy, you know? We haven't seen enough horrible stuff. There's no awesome diseases randomly killing people. There's not really any awesome wars to go off to and witness horrific things you can't unsee. We, like, pulled out of all of 'em.

Sometimes I just don't even feel like I'm living, you know?

The only time I feel anything is when I'm thinking about chopping up a body.

And here you are, saddled up with an uptight girlfriend who freaked out for no other reason than the fact that you just wanted to fantasize about having sex with her lifeless corpse.

Oh, my god, I got a total chub right now.

Not scary enough.

She'll let you in the back door.

What could be scarier for an adult than a child coming to murder them?

Isn't that all of our greatest fear? That the pain, the regrets, the mistakes of our youth will destroy us in our adulthood? That we can't escape our inner child. One we would rather forget, but who, at the end of the day has all the power.

Why are you lying to me?

Something does not make sense.

You got to give me more here, okay?

I don't understand what you're getting at.

Are you on bath salts?

Why are we even here?

This house is haunted.

There's a legend in this neighborhood about a woman who wailed about her dead children. And this was the house she lived in.

These dumb ol' kids are smoking crack.

I think it's incredible what you can find out with just a quick trip down to your local library.

This can be one of the rooms for the haunted house.

What exactly do you plan on doing at this haunted house?

I was thinking we could blindfold folks and make 'em put their hands in a bowl full of grapes we peeled, so it'll feel like eyeballs.

I think the reason you want to have a haunted house party is 'cause a haunted party is like a buffet for murderers.

Yeah, yeah, you can just go around killing anybody you want and ain't nobody even gonna even notice.

Just like you chopped the arms off that dumb-ass golf guy.

Why do you have it out for me?

So now you look at me and see everything you could've been.

I hope you have a good time at you haunted party and get to murder lots of folks.

You have this way too thought out.

Isn't this kind of nice?

My sense of personal identity is completely external.

I really don't have much to offer.

I've found that my particular style of speaking and gesticulation is extremely off-putting to most boys. And girls. And anyone.

I need to eat. My blood sugar is crashing.

I'm tired of depriving myself of joy and sustenance.

I may die at the end of a serial killer's blade, but I refuse to die hungry.

Which one of you ladies would like to be my costume for Halloween? I'm going as "dude having awesome sex with you."

I mean, what in the hell's wrong with the world where a guy can't even whistle at a chick just to tell her she looks hot?

I recently took a women's studies class. Yes, because it was a requirement, but I learned a lot anyways. Like the culture that says it's okay for a man to objectify a woman for her appearance is the same culture that pressures girls as young as ten to have eating disorders.

So you're basically saying I'm the one responsible for making you look hot?

When you treat us like meat, you're no better than him!

I'm not really sure how you got my number, but I like how you took the initiative and texted me where you wanted us to meet.

Do you think you're man enough to take me inside that house and attack my crack?

I'll sure this house has an amazingly romantic basement.

Hey, so, uh, a little awkward since we're about to bone down and everything, but, um, what's your name?

Smells like roadkill.

I've never been so scared in my whole life.

All right, if we go to the police, they're gonna see I'm still rocking a mad sidepipe, and they're gonna think I had something to do with it.

We have to warn people.

All right, everybody listen up! All of your lives are in danger!

There are dead bodies! Dead bodies. Real-life dead bodies.

Did you say dead bodies?

Those are like the most lifelike dead bodies I've ever seen.

Is that a real dead body?

There are five dead bodies in that house. Laid out in horrible and deliberate macabre poses.

You are not leaving this house tonight.

You make it harder and harder to believe that you're not the killer.

I found out something really interesting, and now I have a theory.

Everything is weird about that story.

I mean, it's too big a coincidence.

We have to figure out who that woman was.

You know those moments in a relationship, when you're a little bit tired, a little bit annoyed and a little bit over it. You love one another, but you're working through that very natural phase of just not being that into each other. However, the sexual tension is still palpable, because in those moments it's sometimes easier in bed. It's easier to pretend at night time. Easier to just fuck your way through those natural arcs of frustration. How would Bill and Tiger handle those moments?

You know what I love about this? How absolutely, unbelievably, incredibly human this is.

People drift apart. Couples drift apart. Relationships tend to have this kind of natural ebb and flow--passionate at times, completely stagnant at others. Friendships are a little easier to navigate, we’ve all had friendships that are jiving at one point and stale the next but I feel like there’s always less at stake. Friendships maybe have less ties, they can recuperate faster from things like this.

Romantic relationships though? Oh, that’s tricky. When things like a legal marriage are involved, where leaving could mean that you literally lose half your income and your assets. When something like a kid is involved, where leaving could mean you only see them every second week and maybe you just can’t be a single parent. People stay for reasons that maybe they shouldn’t. People leave when maybe they should have just tried a little harder. These are real life decisions, and god it’s why I cringe so hard sometimes when I hear people talk about a couple. There are so many internal workings. People lie to their friends. They lie to their partner. They lie to themselves. Sometimes, one convenient reason to stay beats a million logical, desperate reasons to go and that’s...that’s life. Life is not always about choosing whatever option is best for you.

Life is about choosing whichever bad option hurts you less sometimes.

A side note, but I think some of the reason why I’m so critical of couples that I have no business being critical of (it’s never anyone’s place to judge), and why I roll my eyes at all of this GOALS!!!111 talk is just...like, what’s the statistic? 80% or something? 80% of couples fail. One of my absolute career heroes broke it down in a very logical way for me--this woman is extraordinary. You have seen her on the news. She is a powerhouse, she is fearless.

She is in a loveless marriage with a 10 year old son, and she’s staying because her kid is really sensitive and because being a single mother is just impossible for her, at the moment. That’s literally it. That’s why she’s staying with her husband. Because it’s practical, and because it’s the only feasible solution for her.

This is just....life. 

But look man, tiger and Bill? They’ve been here before. And I think the only thing that saves them is their deep foundation as best friends before any of the sex started happening, and the respect that comes with being best friends. I’ve ranted on here before but part of my resistance for labelling them as an actual couple is because of that exact fact: I have met far more couples who take this term of girlfriend or boyfriend as an excuse to seriously disrespect their other human. Couples, over time, just seem to develop this extreme distaste for one another.

Best friends though? Shit son, that bond only seems to deepen over time. I would never speak to my best friend the way that I have sometimes caught myself speaking to a significant other. I don’t know why, but for some reason, a lot of us seem to take some big liberties when romance becomes involved.

These two, though? Listen, they have had years of very frankly, very directly, calling one another out on their bullshit. I think that bond, that’s really the only thing that saves them. Because this scenario, this isn’t any extreme emotion. This is just....blah. Something that was hot and heavy before just hit its natural peak and now it’s...blah.

I love the way you worded it. That it’s easier in bed. That it’s easier to pretend at night time. Sexual attraction often has little to do with actual compatibility, with emotion, with commitment. And these two--man, they know their way around the other. Tiger knows all of his on buttons, and he knows every single one of hers. It becomes less about emotion, less about spark, and more just about...scratching the itch. Both are human. Both get horny. Both know the other is real easy for them, and for at least half an hour, it’s some good feelings. It’s some fire put back into their jive for just a few minutes.

I think though...I think both of them are so rooted in touch, and I think that ultimately it’s the kissing that ends up sealing the deal. Couples do that, you know? To me, it has always been the marker of the end of a relationship--when the kissing becomes routine. A kiss hello. A kiss goodbye. A goodnight kiss. These are the relationship equivalent of a handshake.

When the spontaneous kisses disappear--the passionate ones in the hallway, where they cross each other and he loops an arm around her and pulls her in as she giggles. The sweet ones in the kitchen, when he’s chopping something and she just ducks into his vision, stealing a quick one from his lips as he squeaks in surprise because he didn’t even hear her approach. The soft ones in the morning, when he’s still asleep and she’s just pressing her lips gently all over his chest.

When this stops, they both know they’re in trouble.

but like it’s impossible to tell when it stops you know? God this shit sneaks up on you like that. Neither one of them realize, but I think eventually...I kind of love that it’s tiger, that lays it out on the table. That calls attention to it. And maybe it’s one week on a Tuesday--because the sex nights have become Tuesdays and Fridays, every week without fail--I think maybe when Bill reaches for her, she sits up and stays his hands.

“You don’t kiss me anymore,” she says quietly. Bill stops.

“Uh, I’m pretty sure I was just about to,” he huffs.

“You know what I mean bud,” she says softly, “We don’t kiss anymore.”

And Bill, for all of his incredible traits when it comes to her--the Big Dude is still very, very defensive. It’s his Achilles heel. It’s his knee-jerk reaction to being the middle child in a family that is fucking drenched in talent. When someone calls him out--someone he loves, someone he trusts--his immediate reaction is to be defensive.

“Last I checked kissing involved two people kid,” he snaps, “I don’t see you starting anything either. In fact, why am I always the one who--”

“No,” tiger says calmly, and it’s so eerily calm that Bill just...shuts up.

“Cards on the table,” she continues, “I’m calling it out.”

“Calling what out?”

“Calling this out,” she says, “I miss you.”

Bill stares at her, wide and unblinking.

“I’m right fucking--”

A hand, gentle but firm, clamps over his mouth.

“You do not get to talk to me that way,” she says and it’s still calm, “We mean too much to each other. Bill, I miss you.”

Bill removes her hand from his mouth.

“Tiger,” he seethes, and god it’s that quiet anger, “I don’t know what the fuck--”

“I miss you,” she interrupts. And the more she’s saying it...god it’s like she’s admitting it to herself. Admitting that something changed, and somewhere along the way, they lost their way. A lump forms in her throat.

“What the hell do you think--”

“Bill, I miss you,” she repeats, and a few tears escape.

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re going on about kid,” he seems angry now, but tiger knows him. She knows him well. And the more she pokes at this wound, this vulnerability--eventually, the light will shine through this crack. And he’s cracking. She knows he is. She reaches a hand out, resting it over one of his and he doesn’t pull away.

“I miss you,” she says again, as the tears slowly trickle down her cheeks.

“This is fucking unbelievable--”

“Bill, I miss you,” she’s a broken record, but Bill shoves the blankets back and swings his legs over the bed.

“Then you can miss me when I’m not right fucking beside you,” he snaps, reaching for his pyjama bottoms. Tiger reaches out, wraps a hand loosely around his arm, kisses his shoulder.

“I miss you,” she whispers against the skin of his back, and she feels him tense. His muscles, alert and ready to bolt, bunch under her hands. He stays still for several minutes, her tears wetting his skin, and he doesn’t move.

But eventually, he lets out a deep sigh. One that doesn’t at all deflate him, one that doesn’t even move his statuesque frame.

“This is not my fault,” he whispers into the darkness, and tiger’s heart breaks. It breaks at the fact that he thinks this is about blame, that he automatically thinks the blame is his.

“No it’s not,” she tells him, “It’s our fault. We both let it get this way, bud.”

He doesn’t say anything, he still doesn’t move, and tiger presses a gentle kiss to the back of his neck.

“But I want to save it. This. I want to fight for this,” she says, and she pauses for a hard swallow before she asks the question that she mildly dreads the answer to. “...do you?”

He’s quiet. He’s quiet for too long, or at least long enough for her to panic. She whimpers, sliding off the bed and crouching in front of him as she takes his face in her hands.

“Bill look at me,” she pleads, “Do you? Want to fight for this?”

His eyes drink her in. And you know, Bonehead Bill. He knows his answer, but it’s like his brain taps out and he forgets to articulate it to her. But this girl kneeling in front of him? She’s his world. His sun, his moon, and every fucking one of his stars. He would fight anything and everyone, for her. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her. And he knows this, he thinks this, but right now he’s so caught up in thinking that this is just...this is all his fault. He let her feel unwanted. He let this get to where it is. And with him so deep in his own head, he doesn’t even realize how silent he’s being to her questions and how much panic it’s triggering in her.

“Because if you don’t, it’s fine,” she’s starting to wheeze, her speech coming out fast and frantic, “But you owe it to me to fucking tell me, Bill. To end it definitively, right fucking now, because I--”

“Tiger,” he snaps out of it when his brain focuses on her wheeze, and he instinctively reaches for her inhaler in his nightstand drawer, “Yes. Yes, kid. I...I want to fight for this.”

Like a well coordinated dance, he cups her jaw and holds the inhaler to her lips. She puts her mouth on it and he times a dose with her next inhale, setting the device to the side as he brings his other hand around to cup her face. He strokes her cheeks, taking a long minute to stare into her eyes--her eyes that are pleading, filled with tears, and god he hates himself.

“This is my fault,” he murmurs, and tiger lets out a long exhale once the medicine is absorbed.

“No,” she leans her forehead on his knee and his hands thread into her hair, “Bill, this is us. We’re in this together. We both did this, and we’re both going to work our way out of it.”

He clutches at her, his hands fisting gently in her hair. He swallows around the lump in his own throat.

“How?” 

For the first time in their relationship, he’s just...he’s at a complete loss.  He doesn’t know how to fix it.

“Together,” she says, reaching out to cup his jaw and he places a gentle kiss on her palm, “Bill, together. With open minds. With honesty. We will talk it out. We will work it out. We will decide--together--if we need counselling for it. Or if we can fix it ourselves.”

He nods solemnly, running his thumb over her bottom lip. He tugs at her, pulling her up until she’s in his lap and she presses her forehead to his.

“But the first thing we need to do is decide--together--if we’re going to fight for this. I’m all in, bud. That’s where I stand. I want this, I want you, and I will give my everything every step of the way to make this right again,” she tells him. She holds her hand out, spread out in front of him.

“Where do you stand?” she asks quietly. His eyes flick to hers, and he holds her nervous gaze.

“I’m all in kid,” he murmurs, and he loops his fingers through hers, “When it comes to you? I’m all in. I want this. You have my everything every step of the way, too.”

She kisses him slowly, her hand clasped tightly in his as he hugs her closer to him.

“Promises,” she murmurs against his lips, “I’ve got promises to keep.”

“And miles to go before I sleep,” he whispers back.

The toy store

A request.

I hope this is what you want ,my dude. When i got it was like damn  gotta write this now ahhhh, I started writing this at 00:26 am.finished at 2:14  Anyways here you are. i tried , i hope it is what you wanted xx

summary:imagine visting Bofur's shop often with your kid brother ,but you cannot help but find him attractive,in which thats exactly why you keep bringing your brother as an excuse to see him.

wordcount:1363

y/b/n=your brothers name if you dont have brother ,uhh your brother is named jared.

Your parents had had you very young ,and decided to wait a while until they were able to afford another child,that wasnt until you were 10. You were now an adult ,but you still lived with your parents because they would have to travel often due to their work,so you would look after your brother, y/b/n. You enjoy that as you could make whatever you wanted for dinner , take him out . In which you would take him to this toy shop,ran by a dwarf and his brothers,he would work in shop three days a week,and he's the exact reason you go there so much.

You would only go during those three days, you would always get your brother small everytime,with the money that your parents gave you. You didnt have anything else to spend it on other than clothes ,but you didnt need anymore ,plus you got see Bofur,yes you knew his name. Plus you liked seeing your brothers excitement when he got to pick a toy,he had so many because of you.

Your parents had left yesterday,for a week or two trip,your mother had suspected there was a reason you would always happily take care your brother.she had followed you and your brother to the toy shop ,only to see you talk a dwarf while your brother placed the toy on the counter. You had pulled your money gently from your pocket ,counting the right amount before offering it to Bofur. He smiled widely at you,shaking his head no, you looked at him confused.

"Miss y/n, you are always here ,this one is on me." he sent a soft smile to you,gently pushing your coin filled hand away,a blush covers your cheeks ,as you put the money back in your pocket. You mother watched from outside,smirking knowing exactly why went to the toy shop so often,she wanted grandchild desperately ,even though her son was still a child. She knew you wouldn't make the first move,so she would push it to happen.

"are you sure? i do-""really its on me ,anything for my prettiest customer." he had interrupted you making you blush brightly,smiling nervously at him. Y/b/n grabs his toy,"thank you mister Bofur!" he excitedly shouted grabbing your hand with his free hand. "you are very welcome laddy,you make sure you look after your ma." you blushed hard ,he thought he was your son,darn how old did he think you were ,jesus. "oh i-im not ,i-im his sister." Bofur had chuckled before speaking smoothly "I was messing with you, you've been coming here long enough ,for me to hear him call you y/n." you sigh in relief almost ,laughing quietly.

"I cant even get a boyfriend ,let alone have a child." you state quietly ,avoiding eye contact ,watching y/b/n play with his soldier figure on the counter ,you move your feet removing the prssure from standing in one place so long.  "thats hard to believe miss y/n, you a-" before he would even finish the bell on the shop door jingles;as it opens revealing your mother, your smirking mother who struts over to you ,picking up her son holding him in her arms.  "ma, I thought you and da-" you begin to speak only to be cut off again,Bofur is beyond confused on what is happening ,he liked you but he was nervous,

"I came to see what you do when we leave." she stated simple smirking still ,you look at her annoyed,how much more embarrassing could this get honestly. " what you do think I do? go get pissed and pregnant?" Bofur looks at you shocked he hadnt seen you like this before ,he would feel the same if his mother followed him out. Your mother laughed at you "no of course not,so this is what you spend all your money  we give you on?" you nod you head ,you were beyond motified at this point.

Bofur that it was sweet you spent all your money on your sibling,he could see how you were with children. "well are you going to introduce me to your friend or not?"you gugled "ma this Bofur,Bofur this is my ma ,y/m/n." he smiled at you and your mother ,holding his holding out for your mother to shake "nice to meet you ,ma'am." he had spoken politely,your mother took his shaking it smiling "you too."

After letting go of her hand she had already popped out another question, "so is there anything going between you two,that i dont know?" god she never stopped smirking ,as much you loved her ,you really couldnt think of anything worse right now. "MA, no there isnt." your face was sweating,you were so angry,and upset,but you would thank her later. You had gotten out your mothers grip long ago playing with toys on the shelves,lucky it was almost clsoing time so it was just you five in there,

  "why do you come her so so often then ,hm?" she was beyond cheeky ,but she was choking out the truth and she knew it. "uh to get y/b/n toys?" you knew shes had you, "and you I saw you flirting with her,dont try to deny that werent because i cut you off when i walked in." Bofur was too red face as were you ,she was winning. "MA.you need to stop being creepy,i bet you had your face agaisnt that window ,looking like heres johnny." she ignored you "i will leave you two to talk it out,come on y/b/n lets go home." she gestured for y/b/n to follow ,he runs after her with soldier in hand ,waving goodbye ,you both watch them leave making their way down the street.

You turn back to Bofur embarrassment imprinted on your face,"I'm so sorry,Bofur." you spoke ,lip trembling ,eyes filling up with tears yet . "hey,dont cry,if anything she was right" he had spoke walking around the counter infront of you wiping the tears that streamed down your face, look at him confused.

"w-what?2 before you could say anything more he had pressed his lips to yours gently. "you dont know how long i wanted to confess," he spoke ,pulling you into an embrace,you hug him tightly back taking in his scent,your cheeks now drying slowly."me too."  you had been going to his shop for months ,it was a little crazy. "you would like accompany me to dinner,miss y/n?" he spoken pulling slightly out of the embrace,you nod smiling he presses his lips upon yours again.

He closes the shop before talking you to dinner ,lets just say you didnt live with your parents for much longer,and even so Bofur would still maake y/b/n toys,he really liked Bofur and your mum teased you all the time saying she got you both together.In which you would tell her and for that I am grateful. Within two years you were married and already had given birth to a son.

your mother was over the moon ,and Bofur made hundreds of toys for him,your brother didnt like didnt give him as much attention as before.Bofur was a great husband and father ,and you had your brother to thank for pulling you into his shop all those years ago.

Episode 10 - Child TRANSCRIPT

[You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts, or go to our “Listen” page if you’re on desktop.] 

AUTOMATED VOICE

Please state your message.

[THEME MUSIC AND INTRODUCTION PLAYS.]

VAL

Three-Eyed Frog Presents: The Heart of Ether.

[THEME CONTINUES BEFORE COMING TO A STOP.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. IRENE’S BEDROOM.]

IRENE

You’re not gonna believe this: I saw the meat lady at the grocery store again last night, and she was buying more raw meat. She was buying some other stuff this time too, like, normal groceries, but still a lot of meat. I didn’t want to bother her or make her feel bad or anything, but, I had to know. Why did she need that much meat?

She was in front of me in line, but luckily, I didn’t have much to buy. Just some chickpeas and coconut milk. I checked out as quickly as possible—the poor cashier looked like he got whiplash from how fast I swiped my card—and I ran out to the parking lot to meet her.

She had just finished loading her groceries into her car, but thankfully, she hadn’t left yet. She looked surprised when I ran up to her, but not afraid. She had this warm smile on her face, which eased my nerves, surprisingly. She asked if I needed anything.

[EMBARASSED] I probably should have introduced myself or said hello—that would have been the polite thing to do. All I said, though, was, “Why do you need that much meat?”

She didn’t get angry or upset. Somehow, she didn’t seem fazed at all. Maybe she had gotten the question before? That wouldn’t surprise me. She still had a small smile on her face when she answered, “It’s for my child.”

I was kind of surprised for some reason? I asked if she had multiple kids, and she said no, just the one.

“They’re on summer break,” she said, “and they start their junior year of high school next year. Isn’t that exciting? I remember being that age. Anyways, being a teenager and all, they’re growing a lot, so I have to make sure they’re well fed. Wouldn’t you want the best for your child?”

[STIFLED] I got kind of weirded out by that. I asked if they were getting fruits and vegetables, because those were all important, too. She said, “Well, protein is especially important for a growing teenager. Besides, they have special dietary needs.”

And there was that phrase again! “Special dietary needs!” I asked what exactly that meant, a, an iron deficiency, some sort of issue with their muscles. She looked at me with this—God, this almost tender look, as if she was my mother and I had just disappointed her.

She said, “I don’t want to speak for them. They get very embarrassed talking about it. I promise the meat won’t go to waste, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

[UNCOMFORTABLY] I apologized after that. She smiled wider, and said it was okay. Before I left, she gave me a mint from her bag. Even though I did nothing to deserve it but invade her and her kid’s privacy.

So, I guess that’s the end of the mystery of the meat lady? I still don’t know why she feeds her kid that much meat, but no way am I asking her again. Actually, after that experience, I kind of hope that’s the last time I see her.

[A PAUSE.]

IRENE

I should probably get ready. I just…I have a lot on my mind. Yeah.

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

[ANOTHER PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. IRENE’S CAR AS SHE’S DRIVING.]

[SHE IS HEARD DRIVING IN THE BACKGROUND.]

IRENE

The landlord is sending a mold inspector to my house today. He said he’ll call me and let me know as soon as possible what he thinks the best course of action is. I might have to spend a night in a motel room or something, but honestly, it will be well worth it to finally be rid of that yellow mold. 

Also, I stopped by the library last night to look for any evidence about the Lorelei thing, or, that entire coven that went missing. Sure enough, there were articles about it in the local paper while it was happening, but I’m surprised it didn’t make national news. It definitely happened—I could even find the missing persons reports online—but hardly anyone outside of town covered it, let alone anywhere outside of Washington.

Some online conspiracy forums have talked about it, but no one ever came to a solid conclusion as to what happened. 

[A FORCED CHUCKLE.] Didn’t realize how close to home the whole situation hit until I started researching it.

[A PAUSE.]

IRENE

[SINCERE] I hope you didn’t get kidnapped, Rose—or, killed by some weird cult, or whatever. Though, for a while, can I be honest? That possibility actually kind of made me feel better.

[SADDER, MORE DISTANT] I mean, the alternative is that you chose to leave. For a while, I thought that if I could just pretend it wasn’t your fault, then that meant you kept your promise. [QUIETER] To not leave without telling me.

[A BEAT, THEN, A SHAKY BREATH.] I’ve thought about it since then, though, and I think you probably did choose to. That was what you wanted, right? You wanted the spontaneity, the excitement, the leap of faith, whatever. I wouldn’t be surprised if one night, you just decided you were tired of waiting, and left.

Doesn’t make it hurt any less, though. Knowing that we had plans to leave together, and you just decided it would be better to go without me. No warning, no big talk, not even a letter.

I’m not angry anymore, don’t worry. I’m so indecisive all the time, I probably would have dragged you down.

[STRAINED] Still.

[a long pause.]

IRENE

Why do I still tell stories to you like this is a conversation? [SHE SCOFFS.] You don’t care, you—

[SHE TAKES A SHAKY BREATH BEFORE ENDING THE RECORDING.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

[ANOTHER PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. IRENE’S OFFICE.]

IRENE

I’m about to go on my lunch break. [SUSPICOUS] Haven’t heard from the mold inspector, which is odd.

Look, I just wanted to talk because…I’ve been thinking a lot. Especially after looking through the newspaper reports for the coven incident. I think—I think whatever’s happening, it’s the whole town. That’s gotta be it, right?

Okay, I know it’s absolutely wild. I’m not saying that this is like, one of those mysterious little towns with some big supernatural secret that the whole town is hiding.

[A BEAT.] But that’s basically what I’m saying. Why else wouldn’t this place show up on a map? And, also, why else would an entire group of people go missing without hardly any news coverage?

[RAMBLING] It’s like there’s some big thing—and I’m not sure if everyone in town knows about it, or just a select few—but it’s like some big secret that everyone just knows not to talk about. Only, maybe, people don’t actually know the secret? Because Phoebe, who should know everything because of her grandmother, still knows close to nil. 

Maybe—okay, maybe it’s not a secret that the townsfolk are keeping, but like, the actual town is keeping this secret from not only its own citizens, but the world. It’s like, some big thing is happening and nobody actually knows what it is. They just know it’s there.

[A PAUSE.]

IRENE

I have no idea what the fuck that means or why I said that.

[THERE’S A KNOCK AT HER DOOR.]

CAROL

[MUFFLED] Irene?

IRENE

[SURPRISED] Mm—Yeah?

CAROL

Can I come in?

IRENE

Um, sure.

[THE DOOR OPENS. CAROL STEPS INSIDE THE OFFICE.]

IRENE

What’s up?

CAROL

[NOW CLEAR] I, uh… How are you doin’?

IRENE

[CAUTIOUSLY] I’m...fine? How about you?

CAROL

Ah, I’m alright—say, uh, not to infringe on your privacy or anything like that, but I wanted to ask you about somethin’.

IRENE

[SLOWLY] Go ahead.

CAROL

[WARILY] So, I was talkin’ to Aden the other day in the breakroom, and he mentioned to me that you’ve been having this...issue. Somethin’ about a huh...jeez, how did he put it, eldritch dirt abomination?

IRENE

[DREADFUL] Oh, god, did he tell you about the dirt thing—?

CAROL

[OVERLAPPING] I’m worried ‘bout you, Irene. Alright? There, I said it.

IRENE

[SHE SCOFFS.] What, is this an, an intervention? I’m fine.

CAROL

[CONCERNED] You’ve been acting strange since...well, ever since the day we met, I reckon. Er, no offense. 

[A BEAT.] Still, first it was these recordings you do, talkin’ to someone who you say is never gonna listen. Now you’re trying to hunt down some sort of mystical forest monster that nobody else has ever seen.

IRENE

[DEFENSIVE] That’s not true. Alright, Dorothy Wood had a notebook—

CAROL

You mean the woman who used to run the bookstore? Bless her heart, but, nobody ever knew what she was doing in her private time. Not even her poor granddaughter.

IRENE

That’s what we’re trying to figure out.

CAROL

I just—I don’t want you to get involved with somethin’ you can’t turn back from. Alright? I, I don’t ever want to see you or Aden put yourselves in danger, and all this stuff you’ve been doin’ is just…

IRENE

[A BEAT.] Just what?

CAROL

Just, well, you know.

IRENE

[GROWING GRADUALLY MORE UPSET] No, I don’t. Say it. Do you think I’m being delusional? I know what I saw was real—

CAROL

[OVERLAPPING] I never said that, Irene. I just want to make sure you’re doing okay.

IRENE

I am. Okay? Everything’s just peachy. I’m doing my job just fine, aren’t I? That should be your primary concern, not whatever I do when I get home each night.

CAROL

[SHE SIGHS.] No, you’re right, you’re right. I’m sorry for bein’ so invasive.

IRENE

[A BEAT.] It’s alright.

CAROL

Just let me know if you ever need anything, alright? I care about you, not just as an employee.

IRENE

[STRAINED] Appreciate it.

[A PAUSE.]

CAROL

Say, you headin’ to lunch soon?

IRENE

Uh, yup, I was thinking about going out to grab something. Do you—?

[THERE’S FOOTSTEPS IN THE BACKGROUND AS ADEN WALKS BY.]

ADEN

[CUTTING HER OFF] Irene, have you downloaded it yet?

IRENE

[SHE GIVES AN OVEREXAGGERATED SIGH.] Not yet.

[MORE FOOTSTEPS AS HE WALKS IN.]

ADEN

Do you still not have enough storage?

IRENE

I have the space, I just have better things to do.

And I’m not a total caveman, you know. [UNDER HER BREATH] had Tumblr back in high school for a bit.

ADEN

[HE LAUGHS, OVERLAPPING.] Tumblr? Are you joking? You were a Tumblr kid?

IRENE

For like, three months! I was fifteen, dude, give me a break.

CAROL

[SHE CHUCKLES.] Anyways, I was just wondering if y’all wanted me to grab somethin’ for you while I’m out? I’ll take a list, if you want to start writing down your orders. I’ll probably go to the café nearby, if that’s alright with y’all.

ADEN

Oh, sure! That’d be great! Thank you! Irene, do you have some paper?

IRENE

Yup. Thanks, Carol!

CAROL

Not a problem.

[A PEN IS HEARD CLICKING, AND WRITING ON A PAD OF PAPER IS HEARD IN THE BACKGROUND.

ADEN

Actually, Irene, I was hoping to get to talk to you. Do you have any plans tonight? Because you still haven’t come over to my house yet, and I think it’s a crime I haven’t gotten to show you my collection of knitted cats yet.

IRENE

[TEASING] And I think it’s weird that you’re so passionate about showing off your collection of knitted cats.

ADEN

[DEFENSIVE] I worked really hard on them, okay?

IRENE

[SHE LAUGHS.] Mm, in all seriousness, maybe? I actually have a mold inspector over at my house today, and I might have to call him soon, because he still hasn’t...

[HER TONE BECOMES MORE SERIOUS.] …gotten back to me.

[A BRIEF, EERIE INSTRUMENTAL NOISE ECHOES IN THE BACKGROUND.]

IRENE

Why are you guys looking at me like that?

CAROL

[SHE CLEARS HER THROAT.] You said you had a mold inspector? 

[CAROL’S VOICE SOUNDS CALM, BUT THERE IS A GROWING PANIC UNDERNEATH.]

IRENE

[SLOWLY] Yes. This mold started growing in my house when I first moved in, and it kept getting worse, so I hired someone to take care of it.

CAROL

[HER BREATH HITCHES.] And what exactly does this mold look like?

IRENE

Um…it’s yellow?

[CAROL TAKES IN A SHARP INTAKE OF BREATH.]

IRENE

[CONT.] Like, puss yellow? Kind of smells like rotten meat?

CAROL

Alright. Irene, what’s most important right now is that you stay calm.

ADEN

[MUTTERING TO HIMSELF] This can’t be happening, this can not actually be happening.

IRENE

Okay, what’s going on? What are you guys not telling me?

CAROL

Look, I need to go grab something, but after that, I think we need to go to your house right now.

IRENE

Wait, what—?

CAROL

[OVERLAPPING] This next part is very important: have you touched it at all? The slightest touch—

[CREEPY, TENSE MUSIC BEGINS BUILDING IN THE BACKGROUND.]

CAROL

[CONT.] —even just your pinky toe?

IRENE

[GROWING FRUSTRATED] No, of course not! What the hell is happening? Aden?

ADEN

[PANICKING] Irene, I’m so sorry. I’ve never actually experienced this before, I—I don’t—oh, Jesus, oh, no.

CAROL

Aden, it’s okay. We’re gonna be okay.

ADEN

But she’s—

CAROL

[OVERLAPPING] It’s fine. You just stay on hold for us, okay? I’ll call you if anything happens.

IRENE

[SNAPPING] Okay, you know what? I’m getting really, really fed up with things happening and me never knowing what’s going on. That’s all I’ve gotten ever since I moved to this town. So, either one of you tells me what’s going on, or I’ll go home and find out myself.

CAROL

[PANICKED] You’re in some grave danger, Irene. That’s the best way I can describe it right now, ‘cause we don’t got time. Just, trust me. Please.

[A TENSE PAUSE.]

IRENE

Fine.

[THE MUSIC ENDS WITH THE CHIME OF A BELL.]

[THERE IS A PAUSE BEFORE AN AUDITORY GLITCHING NOISE PLAYS, WHICH IS FOLLOWED BY A FEW SECONDS OF CHOPPY STATIC. THERE IS A CLICK.]

UNKNOWN VOICE

—hoped the Foundation would have been a little more generous with their funds, but, also I’m not surprised they—

[THE SPEAKER IS CUT OFF BY ANOTHER AUDITORY GLITCH.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Today's quote is: “My soul is a black maelstrom, a great madness spinning about a vacuum, the swirling of a vast ocean around a hole in the void, and in the waters, more like whirlwinds than waters, float images of all I ever saw or heard in the world: houses, faces, books, boxes, snatches of music and fragments of voices, all caught up in a sinister, bottomless whirlpool.”

Fernando Pessoa, as published in The Book of Disquiet, 1982.

[OUTRO MUSIC AND CREDITS PLAY.]

My Thoughts on  Shane Dawson/Jeffree Star/Tati/James Charles

you guys don't get to make decisions on who people choose to watch or support...its not up to you guys...and hating won't get anyone anywhere...so why not move the fuck on already god damn...i believe shane wants to change and will change...yes he did a lot of shitty things but he has the right to grow and learn from them...not be pegged forever as the things you call him...(you'll get blocked if you reply without having an open mind about it so don't try) i'm so tired of people just saying one liners or what everyone else says"he's a racist..he's a pedo...your a pedo for sticking up for him...for one...no i'm not...for 2 i just believe people can change and not put them in a box forever as this one or 2 things and not trying to see the prospective in a new light...and just closed minded af...i don't condone pedophilia but i truly don't think he like children in that way in the first place...he made a really bad joke...a REALLY BAD JOKE but it doesn't excuse it was wrong..but i'm not calling him a pedo for it...2 as for the black face situation...i don't like that he did it and it was also a bad take back then but i do not think he should always be in a box as a racist because he grew up and stopped that shit and never did it again...and i'm not black so i guess i don't have a say in forgiving him for it but still i think he learned from it and moved on...now you guys can keep the grudge fine...but stop harassing him about it...it won't do anything good just stress you out and put you in a low vibration...and as for the James thing i don't think Shane will bug him again and James is even more popular then he was before...and as for the suicide thing...Shane is wrong for that...but also why put him in the same situation as James...it doesn't help James or Shane...though if your a hater who cares right...fuck Shane let him commit suicide because thats justice in your eyes...no...your just as bad as he was...i don't think people really think when they post really...same goes for shane and whoever posted drama or hate...because hate seems to be so easy to spread now a days...like where is the love..why can't we move on from things...and i feel like...no one is gonna read this far...and just skim it see that i'm a fan of shane and just spread more hate to me because i'm trying to defend someone who did shitty things...we all do shitty things...some offends more then others but its all the fuck the same because its still hate...and this is what i dislike about how the internet works...its always jump on the band wagon and destroy this person because this person said this and did that and what not...we never really think hay...maybe spreading hate won't get you anywhere...it will just put more fire to the flame and than we act as if its this persons fault i hated this person because they shows me this and told me that...and weren't you all the same people who attacked James when dramageton happened...right we never take accountability for our actions its always some one else’s fault not our own...and Shane said you don't have to forgive him and you can say all the hateful shit you want about him because he deserves it...but even so...how bout we don't and just leave the damn dude alone..and anyone else...i just don't get it...its not hard to walk away from a situation that you have no control of...why waste time spreading hate when you can instead spread love somewhere else which will do far better then sitting here saying all these things to someone you don't really know..all you know is he said and she said and clips and fabricated evidence and accusations and shit...because you have been wrong about someone before...James is one of them...is he an angel...no...but hey lets stick up for him because everyone else is...cuz now that you were proved wrong about something you feel bad and want to fix it by making excuses for your actions by trusting someone else’s story...instead of doing your own research and your own evidence and intuition....no lets blame shane,tati,jeffree for lying about someone...i didn't know...it was fake...so its not my fault...but no it is cuz you assumed without real evidence...and now you just want to put the blame on someone else for your actions...

Shane is not innocent

Jeffree is far from innocent

Tati is a manipulator

and James is using this to thrive now...

no one wins...

Shane i think really wants to love on from this and wants to do his own thing away from drama and hate..he just wants to create...and he recently hasn’t done any of the things he use to do...only thing is the whole james thing but you know what...it doesn’t matter because Jame’s is better then ever and is doing his own thing so did he really lose?

Jeffree is a whole mess and he just need to like chill...get off of the internet stop doing make up...get some help and therapy and actually try to kill his ego and pride and narcissistic tendeses...and i mean actually try to come down to earth for like a year and not just dress down in walmart clothes no...actually be a normie for like a year no fancy cars or 10 Pomeranians living in a castle...actually come down from that throne see what it was really like to get on that level...no distractions or excuse...and work on himself...and go within and reflect and actually feel instead of hiding behind a paywall...

Tati needs to mind he own business and only focus on her self and leave shane,jeffree or James out of her vocabulary...actually pretend they don’t exsist...

James...he actually kinda doing well with what he’s been doing but i would like to see him actually address his feeling torwards this...of like just forgive and forget on a real tho...tell people to just stop everything about the situation and walk away...tell them not to harass or contact shane,tati or jeffree...just leave them be and let them deal with there own demons...

for me this situation has really been taken a toll on me...cuz you see Shane is really getting gutted here...and i know some things he’s done should not be forgiven..but i don’t think he should have his platform taken away...and here’s why...cuz Shane isn’t trying to spread hate...most of the time he was trying to stay silent from the situation but people keep bringing it up and attacking him...telling him to do this and that and when he does that out of pressure..he doesn’t think before he speaks...not really because he gets flustered and embarrassed and reacts with comedy at the wrong times and or say the wrong things because he really can’t react the right way because no matter what he says or does no one want’s to hear it..they already painted this image of him a really bad image and he feels like he has to be on the defend but defending makes things worse so its like...what can he do...nothing...but people don’t want him to do nothing that means he’s hiding from it...but what if its not like that at all...maybe he just doesn’t know what to say to please everyone...and come out alive mostly...i put myself in his sues and i’m an empath so its hard for me to just sit and read these cruel comments about him when honestly i think he’s trying so hard to fix this mess but no one..wants him too...they just want to just go die in a hole somewhere...and i just find that disgusting and cruel...yes you have the right to your opinion...and yes you have the right to not forgive him and yes you have the right to not like him...but is it really necessary to go on all his posts and tweets and spread this unbelievable hatred towards someone...a million times over...to the point they feel like they could probably just die and no one will care...no..i don’t like that...no matter what he said...i don’t think he deserves that...no one fucking does...especially since...he hasn’t touched a kid inappropriately on the real though...but everyone assumes he did cuz of the jokes he said...and the gestures...all an act but everyone wants to believe he’s really this way because they just hate him...until a real victim with real evidence comes out against him i refuse to call him a pedo because a pedo is a child toucher and he’s not that...and this doesn’t excuse his actions its still disgusting...but he isn’t serious about it and never was...ya’ll are protecting no one because no one is in actual real danger...he stopped that nonsense...he’s not even making money off those things anymore youtube cut his funds so move on...and as for the black face as i stated before since he stopped and never made racist slurs since...and yeah you don’t have to forgive him and i don’t have the rights to forgive him for what he did but REALLY...does it do anything for you saying he’s a racist for what he did years ago and since hasn’t even mention anything negative towards a person of color...so what if he doesn’t hang with much of them...maybe he just couldn’t find a good friend who is a person of color...that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s perposly doing it or he hates the black community...because guess what there are people out there who don’t have a single black friend but still don’t hate them...

honestly i think everyone who hates Shane should just leave him be

and the people who like him watches what he puts out...

no one should decide who you choose to watch or support...

(this was originally gonna be on Shane's Instagram comment section on his last post but i moved it here cuz it couldn’t fit and also i added more...)

Forbidden Fruit Part Two

A/N: Here we go my dudes! I set myself a goal to get this out and posted by the 4th of July, so 2 days later isn’t too bad! Australia is amazing and I’m having a blast, but I’m still sorry this took a little long to get out to y’all! I might make a few more in this series, but as of right now this is the end of Forbidden Fruit! Thanks so much for reading and loving it, remember to reblog and comment, they genuinely make my whole day when I read them! Disclaimer: I do not own Lady Chatterly’s Lover by D.H. Lawrence Word Count: 7.2k  Pairing: 1998!Brian May x Younger Reader Summary: The 4th of July has come to Windlesham, and Y/N is ready and fed up with Brian’s teasing. Willing to risk it all, the two mismatched lovers spend the day making their own fireworks while trying to avoid being caught. Warnings: Infidelity, Age Gap, 18+, Unsafe Use of Kitchen Furniture, Don’t Fuck Beside Food Plz, Definite FDA Violations

Brian had never seen as sight more beautiful that the one in front of him when he walked out of the patio door the next morning. Y/N was sat in the porch swing, a red sundress covering the body he’d spent the whole night dreaming of. Her hair was still a little damp from the shower he’d heard her take a few hours earlier.   She was like him in that respect, last one to bed and first one to wake.   The older man didn’t know if it was a normal occurrence, Y/N staying up until  4am, only to wake at 6:30, but he hoped that it wasn’t. Not because he was concerned for her health, which he was, but for much more selfish and indulgent reason.   He hoped, desperately; almost pathetically, that Y/N had been kept awake with thoughts of him, just like he had been kept awake by thoughts of her.   But not even in his wildest, most realistic dreams from the night before did the young woman look this beautiful.   The sun hadn’t bene up for very long, only an hour tops, but the orange light was directly behind Y/N, casting her in an ethereal, seemingly heavenly light.   Her arm was bent at the elbow, clenched fist supporting her head which was buried in a book. Her legs were also bent up beside her in the swing, tucked nicely under the fabric of her sundress.   She just looked comfortable, relaxed.

Brian stood in the doorway, simply watching, no, admiring, the young woman in front of him. She looked so innocent, so much her age, no evidence of the actions from the night before present on her. If anyone outside of Brian had seen Y/N that morning, they’d just think that she was a beautiful, relaxed young woman...not the sexual temptress and goddess that Brian knew her to be.   Y/N could feel Brian’s eyes on her, had been able to feel them since he had come out of the damn house and onto the patio. She didn’t want him to know that she knew he was watching her, she wanted to see how long it was going to take him to make a move. Brushing a damp strand of hair from her shoulder, Y/N sighs a little, adjusting herself so her legs are flat out in the swing, her dress riding up until it’s barely covering her thighs.   She smiles a little into her hand when she hears Brian’s little intake of breath followed by the patio creaking a little under his feet as he makes his way to her. Only when he is standing directly in front of her does she tear her eyes away from her book, wide smile in her face as she takes in his appearance.   He was dressed very similarly to how he’d looked the night before, black athletic shorts paired with a tank top of the same color.

“Good morning Mr. May, how did you sleep?” She knew exactly how he’d slept, she could hear him tossing and turning all night, much like she had. God, she just couldn’t get the image of him jerking off, his face buried in her panties, out of her head. Even if she couldn’t see it happening, she knew exactly what had happened when he’d come back down to the pool 20 minutes after she had left him, hair wet, dressed in pajama pants and a Bart Simpson t-shirt that looked vaguely familiar. The two hadn’t said another word to one another the rest of the night, Y/N electing to spend some time with Louisa and Emily, Brian locking himself in his studio, neither one wanting to risk a fumble in front of Anita or the kids. Brian laughs, moving her legs onto his lap as he takes the seat beside her, hazel eyes warm and gentle. “Morning love, would’ve slept better if you were beside me.” He leans over, pressing a kiss to her neck, his dark curls tickling the delicate skin.

Y/N almost drops her book at his actions, shock coursing through her body, mingling with excitement and arousal, creating a cocktail of moisture in between her legs.   Sucking in a deep shuddering breath, just trying to steady herself, Y/N laughs gently, moving her head backwards to lay against the back of the swing, giving Brian permission to continue his ministrations. “Then why didn’t you come crawl into bed with me?” She knows its cheeky, a little bratty, and its just what Brian needed to hear based on the sigh he releases against her neck, arm moving to rest behind her, pulling her closer to him.

Picking up his head just a little, he brushes a bit of hair from her shoulder, smiling at the book in her hands.

“Read to me, if you don’t mind”

Brian’s words are as soft and gentle as his eyes, making Y/N blush harder than she had the night before. There was just something so intimate about the way he was sitting with her, arm loose around her shoulder, head nearly leaning against her’s. She couldn’t help but let out a little laugh at his eagerness, her heart fluttering like the hummingbird that had been keeping her company all morning.

“Are you sure? You might find this kind of book a little boring.” She’s teasing, knowing that the paragraph she was about to start reading was anything but boring.

His laugh mingles perfectly with the calls of a morning bird, making Y/N’s blush deepen as he places a delicate kiss to her shoulder blade, voice warm and teasing when he speaks. “If I’m not mistaken, this little book was banned for obscenity and indecency for 30 years darling…” His lips are suddenly less sweet, harder, needier… “So I sincerely doubt that this is going to be a boring read..”

He smirks into her neck, his own heart beating like a bat in a birdcage “Besides… if it means I get to hear your voice, I could listen to you read a phone book Y/N.” The way he says her name, barely a whisper, more of a plea to hear her voice than anything else. She blushes hard under his gaze and the feel of his lips on her skin, stammering a bit as she begins to read.

“His body was urgent against her, and she didn’t have the heart anymore to fight…” Her voice hitches in her throat, Brian’s teeth had decided to make an appearance as she started to read. “She saw his eyes, tense and brilliant, fierce, not loving. But her will had left her. A strange weight was on her limbs. She was giving way. She was giving up…” Brian’s hand inched its way from her knee upwards, grazing the delicate skin of her inner thigh.

“B-Brian, what are you…” Y/N trails off, voice breathless, eyes glassy with arousal. It’s not like she didn’t want this, god did she want it, but they were on his back porch, and his wife and kids, including her goddamn best friend, could just waltz out at any fucking moment… and she was pretty positive that seeing his father with his hands up his best friend’s skirt wouldn’t have the most positive impact on Jimmy. Brian chuckles into her neck, his calloused fingers dangerously close to her naked core… fuck, she really should’ve worn panties.

“I’m going to make you regret what you did last night baby girl… making me cum twice in less than 10 minutes.. giving me your soiled panties to sniff like a dirty fucking slut…” His voice is so calm, steady, and had it not been for the context of his words, Y/N would’ve thought that he was just asking what she wanted for breakfast.

“If you stop reading one more time, I’m not going to let you cum honey.. got it?” For a threat, it was whispered awfully soft and kind, but Y/N understood perfectly and just nodded her head, chest heaving, legs spreading involuntarily.

Her voice is shaky as she continues to read. “She had to lie down there under the boughs of the tree, like an animal, while he waited, standing there in his shirt and breeches, watching her with haunted eyes…” Brian’s fingers are extremely close to her dripping core now, gently running along the crease of her inner thigh. It takes everything in her body, every single ounce of self-control and restraint in her body to keep her from ceasing her reading.

“He too had bared the front part of his body and she felt his naked flesh against her as he came into her. For a moment he was still inside her, turgid there and quivering. Then as he began to move, in the sudden helpless orgasm, there awoke in her new strange thrills rippling inside her.” Brian moans at the words that Y/N was reading, how soft and weak her voice was. Fuck, she was the epitome of an angel, a creature sent to earth to bring good will to man, and based on the way his cock was training against his shorts, begging to be touched by the soft skin of Y/N’s hands.

“Rippling, rippling, rippling, like a flapping overlapping of soft flames, soft as feathers, running to points of brilliance, exquisite and melting her all molten inside. It was like bells rippling up and up to a culmination. She lay unconscious of the wild little cries she uttered at the last. But it was over too soon, too soon, and she could no longer force her own conclusion with her own activity.” Y/N squeezes her eyes shut right when Brian’s fingers finally slip inside of her sopping wet cunt, the noise obscene and completely out of place against the soft morning glow that was cast against the two. She keeps reading though, the threat of Brian not letting her cum prevalent and weighing heavily in the back of her mind.

“This was different, different. She could do nothing. She could no longer harden and grip for her own satisfaction upon him. She could only wait, wait and moan in spirit and she felt him withdrawing, withdrawing and contracting, coming to the terrible moment when he would slip out of her and be gone.” Brian can’t help but let out a hard moan against Y/N’s neck, sucking the area behind her ear as hard as he possibly could, almost as hard as her cunt was clenching down on his fingers. She felt like heaven on a Saturday morning, tight, wet, insanely hot, and unlike anything he’d ever experienced in his 51 years of living. Her legs were completely spread wide, cunt on display for the whole world to see if they so pleased. Brian had to resist the insatiable urge to drop to his knees in front of the swing and suck the juices that were running down his hand straight from the source… but he knew he couldn’t do that, he couldn’t risk Anita or any of the kids running downstairs and seeing him eating Y/N’s young right pussy.. no, he had to be smart, disciplined..

“Whilst all her womb was open and soft, and softly clamouring, like a sea anenome under the tide, clamouring for him to come in again and make fulfillment for her.” Much like Lady Chatterly herself, Y/N was close, so desperately close to cumming around Brian’s fingers, her walls clenching him like a vice, desperate to be pushed over the precipice. Yet, she never stopped reading, even when Brian’s fingers sped up, free hand moving to grope her breast through her dress, and his teeth began to nip at her jugular, she persisted.

“She clung to him unconscious in passion, and he never quite slipped from her, and she felt the soft bud of him within her stirring, and strange rhythms flushing up into her with a strange rhythmic growing motion, swelling and swelling til it filled all her cleaving consciousness, and then began again the unspeakable motion that was not really motion, but pure deepening whirlpools of sensation swirling deeper and deeper through all her tissue and consciousness, til she was one perfect concentric fluid of feeling, and she lay there crying in unconscious inarticulate cri-” She clenched tight around his fingers, book falling to the ground as her arms reached over involuntarily, wrapping themselves tight around Brian’s shoulders, mouth wide no noise escaping her throat despite the obvious throws of pleasure she was experiencing. She knew it was cliche, to say that she saw stars, that she felt her entire body constrict into itself… but she did, his fingers were still inside of her, pressing hard into her g-spot, prolonging her pleasure. Brian’s lips halted their harsh assault on the young woman’s neck, instead opting to place gentle kisses to the area, not wanting to overstimulate her too much. He couldn’t remove his fingers from inside of her if he wanted to, her muscles still clenching him tight as her upper body went limp, her head dropping to his chest, mouth open and heaving heavy sighs against his exposed armpit.

“B-Brian.. I..” Before she could even get a word in, the sound of pots and pans clanging together in the kitchen caused the two lovers to spring apart, Brian’s fingers slipping from Y/N’s cunt so fast it made her head spin. By the grace of whatever deity was looking down on them, Y/N somehow managed to fix her skirt, grab the book, and look semi presentable by the time the door opened and Emily darted out, wide smile on her face.

“Dad! Y/N! Anita wants to know what you want for breakfast.” They both breathed a sigh of relief that it was only Emily, because had it been any other member of the May family, the flushed faces, heaving chests, and general disheveled appearance of Y/N and Brian would’ve given them away. Brian just smiles, hiding his glistening hand behind Y/N’s shoulders.

“Whatever she’s making would be lovely honey, just go tell her to make sure to cut Y/N up some of that cantaloupe we bought yesterday!” Emily giggles and nods, running back inside to yell her father’s words at his girlfriend. Y/N lets out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding in as soon as the door closes, dropping her book back against the patio as Brian lets out a loud rumbling laugh. She jolts at the sound before joining him, completely dumbfounded that what had just happened actually happened..

“Mr. May, I swear to god, we’re going to get caught if you’re not careful…” Her eyes are wide, full of mischief and excitement.. she loved this, the whole forbidden nature of their relationship, or whatever they could call it. The risk that they were taking was a big one, and the fear of getting caught was only making her want it more. Brian just laughs, leaning over to place a chaste kiss on her lips, hands moving to cup her cheeks. He winces a little when he realizes that his fingers are still wet with her cum, frantically pulling them away from her to try and wipe them on his shorts. “Shit, I’m sorry love, you probably don’t want that o-”

His words are cut short when Y/N reaches forward with lightning quick reflexes and grabs his wrist, pulling his soiled fingers into her mouth where she licks every single drop of herself from him, eyes never leaving his. Brian almost cums right there, watching this beautiful young woman do something that he hadn’t seen done in 30 years. He lets out a little whimper, making the young woman smile when she grazes her teeth over the long digits as she moves to stand, her free hand reaching into Brian’s shorts, squeezing his cock before turning her back and walking towards the patio door, pausing for a second to send him a teasing wink.

“Be a good boy today Mr. May…”

Breakfast passes relatively without incident, save for Y/N purposefully dropping a grape down her sundress, her eyes never leaving Brian’s as she pulled it from her bra, popping it into her mouth, allowing her fingers to run over her bottom lip as she pulled them from her mouth.   Brian shifted uncomfortably in his seat, cock standing straight up in his shorts, the mesh fabric not exactly helping to keep his issue inconspicuous.   It isn’t long after she takes the final bite of her cantalope that Y/N stands from her seat, smile on her face as she darts her eyes between every member of the family before landing firmly on Brian’s, mischief playing in them as she spots his crossed legs, a feeling of pride blossoming in her chest. “I’m going to go ahead and get the grill started if that’s okay Mr. May, wanna make sure that its nice and hot by the time we decide to lay everything down.” Her tone is light and polite, and to everyone else at the table might’ve seen like the innocent declaration of a young woman who just wanted to help out.   However, Brian knew exactly what she wanted, could see the unspoken request in her eyes as she played with the delicate rings on her fingers. He was about to offer to come and help her, to make the excuse that he just didn’t want her to get burnt, until Emily shot out of her seat, latching herself to the older girl’s side, begging her to show her how to light the grill properly. Y//N tried to hide the disappointment on her face at the interruption, but she just slaps on a smile and wraps her arm around the younger girl’s shoulders. “Just promise you won’t stand too close to the fire okay? We don’t need you losing any eyebrows before school starts back.” Emily laughs and nods enthusiastically, pulling Y/N towards the door, not even giving her an opportunity to look back at Brian.   The sight is one that makes him smile and laugh a little, Y/N was as kind and giving as she was h gorgeous, always giving his youngest daughter as much attention as she did his oldest. Jimmy laughed at the two, popping a strawberry in his mouth as he turned to his dad, eyebrows furrowing at the fond look on his face. He had noticed the way his best friend and dad interacted the afternoon before, the way his dad’s hands just couldn’t seem to leave Y’N’s waist after he pulled her from the pool, how they lingered on her back during dinner, how her eyes never left his during breakfast... hell, he would’ve been a complete dumbass if he hadn’t noticed the bright red flushed cheeks that adorned their faces when they returned from the patio that morning. The oldest May child knew that something wasn’t right, that something was going on between Brian and Y/N, but he trusted his best friend and his father, trusted them not to do something TOO scandalous.   He wasn’t a naive idiot, he knew how his dad was, he knew about his proclivities, about his lifestyle. However, he also knew that Y/N wasn’t some lovestruck groupie. His best friend was smart, had a good head on her shoulders, and wouldn’t do anything that would potentially hurt herself or her friends and family. So, Jimmy keeps his mouth shut, munching on his breakfast as his dad clears his throat and pushes himself from the table.   “I’m gonna go write up some emails before we start cooking.” Meanwhile, outside, Y/N and Emily were having the time of their lives lighting the grill. Anita, Louisa and Jimmy had joined them a few minutes after they’d first exited the house.   Emily was currently brandishing the starter fluid, soaking the charcoal while Y/N laughed and held the matches tight to her chest. “Alright pyro, keep that up and we’re gonna blow the hot dogs into the stratosphere. The five of them stay outside for a bit longer, Y/N getting more and more restless with every second that passes. After a while, the young woman stands and announces that she’s going to head inside and start working on the ice cream, adamantly refusing any help, citing that it is a “secret family recipe”.   The three May kids and Anita laugh at her antics, and wave her off, causing her to breathe a sigh of relief as she heads into the house. Making a bee line for the freezer, Y/N removes the bag of ice, cream, and milk before lying it all on the counter, dragging the machine she’d brought with her from York onto the counter beside the ingredients. Plugging in the machine, she pours all of the necessary items into the mixing cylinder, emptying the ice bag into the bucket before furrowing her brows, trying to find the rock salt that Jimmy had brought with them. Upstairs, Brian was actually genuinely trying to type up emails, however, his brain just wouldn’t allow him a moments peace, constantly showing him images of Y/N’s lust wracked body, writhing underneath him as he pounds into her tight young pussy, the noises obscene... He pushes his glasses off of his face, rubbing his hands over his eyes as he sighs.   Just as he was about to say “fuck it” and pull out his already half hard cock, he hears a commotion in the kitchen and smiles.   If lady luck was on his side, it would be Y/N standing in there, red sundress straps teasingly falling off of her shoulders. Pushing himself from his chair, he heads out of his office, which was conveniently located a few doors down from the kitchen, and rests his shoulder against the doorframe, cock hardening at the sight in front of him. Y/N was bent over looking in the cabinet beside oven, a noise of triumph falling from her lips as she spots the rock salt container, reaching forward to take it. Brian seizes his opportunity, moving forward before he can stop himself, arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her up into a standing position, his cock rubbing into her ass.   The young woman lets out a small gasp of shock before it dissolves into one of pleasure when she realizes what was going on. “Mr. May, I-” She doesn’t even get to finish her sentence before his lips are on her neck, cock thrusting hard against her ass.   “No love, no talking, not after that little show at breakfast this morning.” His voice is low, dangerous, and teasing.   “Dropping grapes in your top, licking your spoon...made me get a fucking hard on right there at the table.” She lets out a breathy chuckle, proud of herself for having such an impact on him, but Brian didn’t find it funny at all. Moving his hand upwards, he grasps her throat tight, not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough to get her attention. “You think that’s funny do you love? Think its funny that you almost made me cum in my pants in front of Anita and the kids? God, you’re such a dirty little slut Y/N, and I’m gonna fuck you so  hard today...gonna make you regret your little cheekiness..” Giving his hips one last thrust against her ass, Brian places a gentle kiss to her neck and unravels himself from her, just in time for Jimmy to come barreling through the door asking for the shrimp and veggie burgers. The grilling of the food took no time at all, with Anita, Louisa, Emily and Y/N staying inside the whole time fixing greek salad, potato salad, baked beans, mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, green beans, and so much more. Before long, everyone is sat at the table, bellies full, plates empty, wide smiles on their faces. Y/N and Jimmy were joking around about one of the archaeology professors and trying to convince Louisa to go to York so they can get a better flat.   This goes on for a good hour and a half before Brian gets tired of waiting and decides to move things along a little bit. Smirking, he slides off his flip flop and moves his foot under the table to rub against Y/N’s calf, causing her to choke a little on her Rekorderlig. Jimmy claps her on the back a few times, laughing out something about her having one too many.   Y/N just laughs lightly, eyes meeting Brian’s in a kind of challenge which only causes his smirk to deepen and hands to grip the sides of his chair a little hard.   Darting his eyes from Y/N’s to the kitchen window, he smiles widely when she nods and stands.  “Ice cream should be done by now.” Her voice was light, not at all betraying the anxiety inside her as she stood up, hands brushing off the crumbs from her sundress. “Oh, I’ll give you a hand l-“ Anita didn’t even get the words out of her mouth before Brian had risen from his chair, a small smile on his face as he made his way over to Anita, pressing his hands into her shoulders gently, keeping her in her seat.  “You’ve helped make every single thing on this table today, let me give Y/N a hand.” The younger woman had to physically stop herself from moaning out loud, bringing her thumb to her mouth and biting down just enough to cause her enough pain to keep her body from reacting outwardly to the way her internal organs were physically dissolving into a mushy mess.   Instead, she smiles, an innocent wide eyed look overtaking her face as she gazed over at Brian, her hands clasped in front of her. “Oh, Mr. May, you don’t have to...”   Brian just smiles at her, walking around the table, standing beside her before wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “You’re our guest, and you’ve lugged a 30 pound contraption from York to Surrey, just to make us ice cream Y/N. The least I can do is help you scoop it out into bowls.” He hopes it’s not obvious to the others, the way his eyes are burning with lust, the way his adam’s apple is bobbing up and down as he attempts to swallow back the moan threatening to escape at the bead of sweat running down the valley of her breasts. And while it might not be obvious to the rest of the May family, Y/N was all too familiar with the look that Brian was giving her. It was a look which caused heat to pool between her legs and wetness to coat her inner thighs, one that made her let out a shaky chuckle before heading towards the door, wanting to get away from Anita and the kids before she pushed him to the ground and rode him in front of them. Brian caught on to her not so subtle signal, and immediately followed after, holding the door open for the young woman, hand lingering on the lock for a split second before he decides not to go for it... he would just have to be careful.   Y/N immediately goes over to the ice cream machine, her bottom lip pulled tightly into her mouth, teeth digging into the plump skin. She was trying desperately to not smile or moan out in anticipation, only wanting Brian to come over and fuck her like her life depended on it. She was trying to distract herself, not wanting to seem too overly eager, like he had been. Y/N wanted Brian to come to HER to show HER how badly he wanted her, and she didn’t have to wait long. As soon as she pulled out a bowl from the cabinet, Brian’s hands were on her hips, pulling her hard against his chest, his cock digging into her backside. It was so much like what had happened a few hours earlier, but now... now the two were going to fuck and be fucked, come hell or high water. Neither one of them had enough self restraint and care to even think about what would happen if someone walked in on them, the scandal that would ensue. They only cared about one thing, and one thing alone. Brian’s cock, sliding hard and fast into Y/N’s hot cunt.   “M-Mr. May! P-please, I need your cock.. Please..” She didn’t usually beg, didn’t class herself as someone who would EVER beg, however, in this moment, the man she’d been lusting over for years standing behind her, cock hard and throbbing against her backside while his entire family sat a mere 10 feet away behind a door...she was willing to get on her goddamn hands and knees and kiss his feet if that’s what it took. Brian lets out a whimper in response to Y/N’s begging, and the way her ass was grinding into him. He’d wanted this since he’d pulled her out of the pool the day before, wanted to have her in his arms like this, completely at his mercy. Bending his head just slightly, Brian latches his lips to her neck, biting, kissing, sucking, doing absolutely anything he can to leave marks and claim her as his. Because that’s what he wanted, he wanted this young, gorgeous, intelligent, incredible young woman to be his and his alone.   Consequences be damned, he’d never felt so much unbridled desire to be with someone before in his life, and he was going to do whatever it takes to make sure Y/N stayed with him.   “We don’t have a lot of time, certainly not enough time for me to do all the things I want to you..” He trails off, his heart leaping a little when she leans back and rests her head on his shoulder, her own lips moving to the delicate skin of his neck.   “B-but I need to fuck you Y/N. I need to feel your right cunt pulsing around my cock. Fuck honey, I need this like I need fucking air, and I want to make you f-feel so good.” His words go straight to Y/N’s cunt, causing her to let out a little moan against his neck. “Then fuck me Brian, fill me up with your cum baby, wanna feel it filling me up.” She had never allowed a man to cum inside of her before, but at this point she didn’t fucking care.   “Fuck honey, you can’t tell me things like that...” Bringing his shaky hands to the hem of her dress, Brian pushes it up around her waist, groaning loudly when he sees her bare ass. “No panties? Did you plan this honey? Did you fantasize about me bending you over against this counter,” To drive in his words, he presses her against the countertop, pushing her face into the cool marble. “Pushing my cock inside your tight young cunt while my children and partner sit outside and eat the food that we made especially for you..” While talking, he’s pushing down his pants, just far enough so that he can get his cock out and fuck her properly. Y/N’s hands are tightly gripping the corner of the counter, her eyes trained on the window in front of her. She could see the entire patio, the way Anita was silently eating her salad while Jimmy and Louisa threw pieces of hot dog bun at Emily.   “B-Brian, they’re gonna s-see us.” Her voice wasn’t scared or timid, but breathy and full of anticipation.   She wanted them to see, or at least she wanted to be able to see THEM while Brian pounded into her relentlessly. The older man just chuckles, leaning over to place a kiss on her exposed shoulder blades. “Let them see love... let them see how fucking hard I am for you Y/N.” He grips the base of his cock, slapping it hard on her exposed entrance causing both of them to groan at the feeling. “I haven’t been able to get this hard, this many times, in 5 years darling... and it’s all because of you.” He pulls her ass hard against him, groaning almost pathetically when she grinds into him eagerly, a gentle moan falling from her red bitten lips. “Please Mr. May... need t-to feel you inside of me now..” She isn’t embarrassed at how needy and wanton she sounds, loving the way her words and moans cause his cock to twitch against her. “You’re so fucking needy for me honey, so desperate for my cock.” Through gritted teeth he speaks and slowly guides himself into her hot and wet center, causing her to gasp as she feels the delicious stretch of his cock inside of her for the first, and certainly not last, time.   His calloused fingertips are hard as they dig into her hips, giving him the leverage he needs so that he can thrust into her as hard and fast as they both needed She grasps hold of the windowsill, having decided that the countertop just wasn’t giving her the necessary grounding that she needed to keep up with his hips.   “M-Mr. M-May, you feel so fucking good inside of me! Goddamnit, stretching me so good..” His arms come up, wrapping around her waist as he pulls her upwards until her back is firmly pressed against his chest.   He can barely think straight, his cock sliding in and out of her so fast that he’s glad the ice cream maker is still going, because the sounds from their skin slapping against one another hard and fast... it would draw attention. “God, you’re bloody perfect angel... s-such a tight, b-beautiful pussy!” He moans, his pace beginning to hasten, his breath hot on her ear, his teeth nibbling gently on the lobe. Loosening one of his hand’s hold on Y/N’s waist, he lets it fall toward her pussy, his fingertips finding her clit immediately.   He doesn’t waste a single second of time, his orgasm is already approaching, and he refuses to cum first.   Y/N whimpers as he plays with her with one hand, the other coming up to hold her by the throat, just keeping her pressed to his chest, not wanting her to fall against the counter. His hold is gentle but firm against her throat, and she tilts her chin enough for her to place her head into the crook of his neck, but it isn’t there for long.   Brian moves his hand up a bit more, grasping her chin gently, forcing her to look out of the window at his family. “You like knowing that I’m fucking you in my kitchen while my family sits outside? Look at them Y/N.. look at how happy and excited they are out there, waiting for their ice cream...” She whimpers, head trying desperately to fall back against his shoulder, but Brian won’t let that happen. “But here we are, my cock buried deep in your weeping little cunt, completely ignoring them.. god Y/N I would leave my partner if 12 years for you, to have this cunt in my life for the rest of time..” His words shock him a little, but he means them. He and Anita had been having some issues for quite some time, and this, whatever it was with his son’s best friend, just solidified the fact that his romantic relationship with her was over. Y/N is also a little shocked at his words, but the pleasure building inside her belly knocks the words she was going to say right out of her head.   Instead, she rather pathetically whimpers out, “I’m almost there! B-Brian.. Please!” Her hips are moving hard, rolling to meet his own impatient thrusts.   His fingers moving faster against her clit as she jerks her head from his grasp, turning around quickly and wrapping a leg around his waist, propping the other on the counter top. She knows she’s going to be sore as all fuck in the morning, but the way the angle changes sends her into an earth shattering orgasm.   Brian’s eyes widen at her movements, and the way her hips never leave his, how his cock unsheathes from inside her cunt. Whimpering himself, he tightens his grasp on her waist, pulling her as close as he can against him as he pounds into her.   “Cum for me Y/N, p-please honey, I wanna feel you l-let go against me..” His teeth are gently nipping at her ear as she breathlessly moans out his name, mouth falling open when he latches his lips against hers, tongue slipping in uninvited but not unwelcome. “Go on love, let go... please!”   His voice is desperate against her lips, weak and pathetic. He’s so close, so painfully close to painting her walls with his cum, his fingers moving against her clit at the same breakneck speed as his hips slamming into her. She doesn’t need any other encouragement, her breath hitching in her throat as she sobs out a moan that sounds vaguely like Brian’s name, shuttering against him as he whimpers into her mouth. Feeling her clenching down like a vice on his cock, feeling the tears of pleasure run down her face, it sends Brian over the edge into the most intense and blinding orgasm he’s had in decades. His cock throbs and spurts wave after wave of white hot cum into her waiting cunt. His thrusts start to slow just slightly as the both of them ride out the high that washes over them like a goddamn cold bucket of water, his hand moving from her clit to join his other one grasping her hips. He groans and she moans into his hair as she tries catch her breath, but with his cock still moving in and out of her sensitive cunt it’s almost impossible. “B-Bri.. c-can you s-“ Before she can even get the words out, he’s slid out of her quivering cunt, causing her to let out a gasp of shock at the sudden emptiness she feels, and the abruptness at which he’s just left her. “Wh-“ She furrows her brows, but upon hearing the patio door open, her eyes widen and she hastily throws her sundress over her lap, moving to stand beside the ice cream maker, bowl in her hand as she looks over into the mixer, back turned to whoever has just entered. “Now what’s taking the two of you so long? You’ve got three very sugar deprived children outside waiting!” Anita’s voice is light and full of amusement, and Y/N sucks in a shaky breath before letting out a little laugh, not daring to turn around as she speaks. “Oh! It just needed a few more minutes to get nice and thick. Should be ready any second now!” Brian has propped himself up on the counter beside Y/N and the ice cream maker, elbows propped up against his knees in an attempt to disguise the still half hard cock he had just managed to get  back into his shorts when Anita had opened the door. God, he was eternally grateful for looking out the window when he did. “You go on back out and we’ll take care of the sweets doll.” His tone is light and not at all betraying the actions he’d just been involved in not even 30 seconds earlier. Anita smiles at them and nods her head, heading back out the door, telling Emily, Jimmy and Louisa that it would just be a couple more minutes. The sound of the door closing causes Y/N and Brian to both let out loud sighs of relief, the two lover’s eyes meeting for a second before they dissolve into a fit of laughter. Brian hops off the counter, wrapping his arms around the younger woman, his head resting against her shoulder as she threads her hands through his hair. Y/N couldn’t believe that she’d just done that... that she had fucked Brian May, her best friend’s father, against the counter in his goddamn kitchen while his partner and children ate basically in the next room. “Jesus fuck Brian, that was too close for comfort.” Her words are a bit shaky, the gravity of the situation crashing down on her. She didn’t want to ruin a family, and she certainly didn’t want to lose Jimmy, but... whatever she was feeling for Brian was more than just lust, and she knew that. Plus, what he had said to her about leaving Anita.. that was probably just heat of the moment words, but she couldn’t help but think otherwise.. Brian laughs lightly, sitting up just enough to look into her eyes.   “We’ll just have to be more careful next time then won’t we..” He brushes his hand through her hair, eyes gentle, a small smile on his face when he sees the shock on her face. “N-next time?” Her brows furrow, butterflies erupting in her stomach at the possibility that he wanted the same thing she did... to keep this going for as long as possible. Leaning down, Brian places a deep and finalizing kiss to Y/N’s lips, his hands cupping her cheeks, her’s moving up to hold his gently.   The kiss said more than he ever could, that he wanted this, wanted her, it confirmed to Y/N that she was getting into something bigger than herself, and that she was about to enter into a world of insanity and secrecy. She couldn’t wait.   Brian pulls away from her just a little, smiling as he rakes his eyes over her figure, taking in a shuttering breath when he sees the white liquid that he’d squirted into her a few moments earlier, running down her leg. Dropping to his knees without a second thought while Y/N begins to scoop the ice cream into bowls, Brian licks a stripe from her calf up to her cunt, sucking up every single drop of his cum that had managed to escape her pussy. Y/N is completely unprepared for the sudden feeling of his mouth against her sensitive cunt, moaning lightly as he cleans her.   Placing a delicate kiss to her clit, he pulls  away after he was certain that she was as clean as she could possibly be, aka clean enough that she wouldn’t drip in front of the kids or Anita.   Brian drops a kiss to her nose before turning to the ice cream bowls on the counter, taking a bite of the creamy frozen vanilla treat, moaning at the taste, his eyes never leaving Y/N’s lust blown ones.   Smirking, he takes 4 of the bowls from the counter, leaning in to drop a kiss to her lips before moving to whisper in her ear.

 “You’re sweeter.”    

Tags: @meddows-taylors @doubledeaky @toomuchlove-willkillyou @rogerina-deacon @leah-halliwell92 @goodoldfashioned-rogerboy @brianmayoucease @rogertaylors-lipgloss @mariekuuuuuh @unofficialbillnye @stephydearestxo @danamaleksworld @dereones98 @glasgowkisschelseasmile @awkwardangelshezza @bellamy1998 @psychosupernatural @warren-lauren @womanwithahotdogstand @oujiacallme @simonedk @ellywritesfics @queen-see-ya-in-valhalla @sam-mercurry-sixx @toomuchtellyneck @asgardianvamp21  @crazylittlethingcalledobsession @amore-libre @marvelstuck @softboydeacon @a-queen-on-her-throne @horrorsinwonderland @roger-bang-the-drum @frannyxc @mrsmazzellotaylor @reedusteinrambles @drowseoftaylor

Happy Halloween, Mao Mao!

Hello! This is for a Halloween writing exchange run by @maomaosmother​ ! You should check them out if you’re a fan of the show Mao Mao!

This story was written for @Fireinthered

I also want to tag @shapeshiftinterest on an unrelated note.

Request details: King Snugglemane hosting a haunted house for the sweeties and Mao Mao not believing anything there would be scary but being proved wrong. (The sky pirates should definitely be invited, they don’t even have to be main or relevant characters)

Please enjoy! I hope you like it!

10/24/19

Word count: 2554

The giant, foreboding house looms over the surrounding trees, which pale in comparison despite dwarfing the shack in height. The great trees of the forest outside the town of Pureheart are possibly generations old, yet the structure nestled beside them seems to have surpassed them in age. The wooden body of what once was a dwelling place are rotted and blackened, long abandoned by termites and the like. The old bones of the house creak and moan with every slight breeze that rushes past. The house even sounds like it’s haunted. The window frames don’t even have a trace of glass left in them, not even a shard protruding from the wood. A rotting, ancient looking door, or what’s left of it, stands between the forest and whatever lies in wait inside; it almost looks to be disintegrating, falling apart with every moment that passes. The roof is slanted, filthy and soggy, almost caving into itself with every sagging shingle, several of which are simply missing, gone with time. The sad remnants of a chimney poke out through what remains of the roof, missing most of its stones.

It’s almost hard to imagine that something like this resides so close to Pureheart, a place bustling with life and smiling faces; it’s even harder to imagine how this place is still standing, albeit barely.

And this is where the king has made his haunted house?

“Admit it, dude, this is insanely cool.”

Badgerclops nods in approval, smiling down at Mao Mao, who is clearly not as enthused about all this as he is. Mao Mao seems to be a little more uptight than usual tonight. Maybe because it’s late, or maybe because he’s secretly impressed. Whatever the reason may be, he keeps his eyes forward, glowering at the king’s handiwork.

“-Hah! You think this is scary? Pathetic. Something as cheesy as this could never scare a brave hero, such as myself. King Snugglemane should have spent less time galavanting around and more time putting together something really scary. Isn’t that right, Adorabat?”

...Adorabat doesn’t answer.

“Adorabat…?”

Badgerclops and Mao Mao turn around to find Adorabat trembling with… excitement? Her eyes are like stars as she gapes at the decrepit shack. Mao Mao can tell with just a glance that this isn’t going to be a simple patrol after all.

“This… Looks… SO COOL!”

“I know, right? I literally just said that.”

“Now, hold on, Adorabat-”

“Can we go in?! Can we, can we? I wanna see the zombies and ghosts and chainsaws and blood and dentists and-”

Adorabat’s rapid, excitement filled begging are cut short by Mao Mao, hushing her in an attempt to keep the trio on track that night.

“Adorabat, no. We’re on duty, remember? The king just had to build his haunted house in the middle of the forest, which is home to monsters, like a ridiculous amount of monsters. Stay focused.”

Adorabat frowns, most of her excitement wavering with every word that Mao Mao speaks. She wants to see the haunted house, she just can’t help it. Her little heart is set on enjoying herself tonight.

“Come on, Mao, it’s Halloween, let her have some fun. I can’t think of a better place for a five year old than a disgusting house in the middle of the woods. Look at her, she wants it so bad.”

At this point, Adorabat breaks out her secret weapon, which also happens to be Mao Mao’s greatest weakness: The puppy-eyes. Her giant eyes sparkle with faint tears in the moonlight. Badgerclops and Mao Mao both feel like they’ve been punched in the gut with cuteness. It’s super effective. Mao Mao has lost the will to resist her any more.

Mao Mao pinches the bridge of his nose, shutting his eyes tight as he prepares to make a decision he knows he’ll regret. After a long, exasperated sigh, he finally caves. The battle has been won.

“...Fine, fine. You can go through the king’s haunted house.”

Adorabat almost explodes with happiness as all of her previously lost excitement returns to her. She takes flight, squealing her thanks to Mao Mao and Badgerclops as her little wings carry her to the entrance. She quickly disappears into the darkness.

Badgerclops’ triumphant smile wavers as he glances at Mao Mao, noticing the worry written all over his face. Mao Mao is pretty good at hiding his worry or fear, but Badgerclops is even better at seeing through his facade. To Badgerclops, Mao Mao is like an open book. Besides, he isn’t as good at looking brave as he thinks he is.

“...I wouldn’t worry about it, man. All the monsters sleep at night anyways.”

“We still have to be vigilant, Badgerclops. We go to sleep at night too, and look at us now, still awake and wandering through the forest at an ungodly hour... I don’t want Adorabat to be scared either. Plus it’s way past her bedtime.”

“That’s what you’re worried about? Mao, she’s tough. Adorabat will probably scare whatever’s in that gross shack. She scares me sometimes.”

Mao Mao chuckles slightly, silently relenting to Badgerclops’ attempts to put him at ease. Maybe this whole ordeal won’t be so bad after all. Despite the fact that Mao Mao would rather be asleep right now, he’s glad that Adorabat is enjoying herself.

“Ah, Sheriff, there you are! What do you think of my beautiful creation? It’s a great success with the Sweetypies! I’m assuming they all love it by all the screaming and crying.”

King Snugglemane giddily approaches Mao Mao and Badgerclops, his luxurious fur blowing gently in the cold October breeze. His cape billows behind him with every step towards the duo. If nothing else, the king certainly knows how to make an entrance (and a haunted house).

“It certainly is something, my liege,” Mao Mao cheesily bows towards the king as he greets him.

“Adorabat went inside a little while ago. I’m sure she’s loving it.”

“Yes, that little one would like something like this, wouldn’t she? Strange one. Anyhow, I’m glad she’s enjoying herself, as she should. I’m glad I happened upon this wretched little place, it’s made the perfect haunted house.”

Mao Mao’s focus on the conversation is broken slightly as Ol’ Blue, accompanied by Penny and Benny, happily walk by. A glimpse of their conversation can be heard from where the three are standing. “I’m so impressed!” Blue merrily states, cueing Penny and Benny to nod vigorously in agreement, still holding hands. Mao Mao’s mood sours considerably after hearing that, following Blue with his piercing eyes until his focus is brought back by Badgerclops’ voice.

“It must have taken sooooooo much work to make your haunted house look this nasty, I could never. Manual labor is the spookiest thing I can think of.”

Badgerclops’ trademark laughter is somewhat interrupted by Snugglemane’s disgust filled sputtering, confusing the two as the king waves his hands dramatically back and forth at them.

“Ew, no. Good heavens, I think not. You two honestly think that I could make something that horrid? Honestly, what do you take me for? I found the house in this condition, of course. How absurd of you.”

Now this intrigues Mao Mao, but mostly concerns him. That can’t possibly be right. He stares in disbelief at the king as a sickening feeling of dread rises in his stomach.

“Wait, you found this place, just like this? That doesn’t make any sense. What is this place? Did somebody live here?”

“Goodness, I don’t know! I was doing my bi-weekly frollicking through the deep dark woods when I stumbled upon this place. It was disgusting and absolutely pitiable, so naturally, it reminded me of you peasants. You folk enjoy romping around in garbage, yes? Anyway, I have no idea where it came from or who it belonged to, though I suppose now it’s mine.”

With a haughty shrug, the king utters a quick goodbye and obliviously goes on his merry way, leaving Mao Mao and Badgerclops in his royal wake. Could Snugglemane really be that stupid? He stumbles on a horrible, broken, abandoned house, and the first thing he does is make it into a tourist attraction, bringing all the Sweetypies to play in it.

Mao Mao can feel his eyes twitch manically, his temper rising with every moment that passes. He was fine with staying out this late at night to ensure everyone’s safety, but that was under the assumption that the king’s haunted house wasn’t a rickety, sagging death trap. It could collapse at any moment!

Mao Mao’s face is now as red as his cape, and his gloved paws are clenched tightly into fists. Badgerclops soon takes notice, a fair amount of worry on his face as well. The two of them seem to be kicked into high gear as a certain realization dawns on both of them at once:

Adorabat is still in that disgusting house.

A loud, droning creak erupts from the building, instantly grabbing Mao Mao and Badgerclops’ attention. They have to get the Sweetypies out of that house.

“Badgerclops, we have to evacuate the haunted house. Those Sweetypies don’t stand a chance.”

“That’s a little intense, but you’re totally right, dude. They’re so clumsy and dumb, they might bring the house down, especially if Pinky’s in there.”

Without another word, Badgerclops’ metal arm transforms into arguably his favorite tool, the megaphone. He takes a deep breath, and then loudly shouts into the megaphone, grabbing the attention of everyone outside of the house.

“Attention! The king’s haunted house is unstable as heck, and you should definitely not go inside anymore, gosh. -Hey, I’m talking to you too, Chubbum, get outta here. It’s past your bedtime, I’m tired and I’m going home.”

The Sweetypies all look pretty disappointed, but begin to disperse and make their way back to town. Badgerclops’ arm hesitantly reverts back to normal as he turns to face Mao Mao, who’s doing a quick head count of the retreating citizens.

“There are still a couple of them inside of the house. Dang it, didn’t they hear the megaphone?!”

Mao Mao’s voice is fast and annoyed, as well as concerned, reflecting his mood incredibly well. He begins stomping towards the building in a huff and Badgerclops wordlessly follows, ducking under the broken door frame as they enter. The two of them immediately start trying to round up more people, but doing so is suddenly much harder.

Compared to the inside of the house, the forest outside is extremely well lit. Even Mao Mao’s cat eyes are having trouble adjusting to the thick darkness that surrounds them, finding it challenging to look ahead more than a couple of feet. The only source of light in the house are the beams of moonlight that shine through the various cracks and holes in the roof.

“Adorabat? It’s time to leave! Adorabat!”

Mao Mao tries calling out to Adorabat, but to no avail. Somehow their voices aren’t carrying through the house, despite being able to hear a pin drop, not to mention the fact that the house has more holes than swiss cheese. Nothing about this house is soundproof, in fact it’s a miracle the walls are still standing.

“Hey, Pinky! Get back here, the haunted house is closed!”

Pinky’s cackling laughter echoes throughout the house as Badgerclops sighs dramatically before chasing after him. A few other giggles are able to be heard along with Pinky’s. Badgerclops is almost completely out of sight as his voice rings through a side hallway leading to the voices.

“I’ll get them, dude. Just find Adorabat so we can get out of here. I’m so tired!”

Before Mao Mao can even protest, Badgerclops is gone, leaving him all along in the darkness. Thankfully, his eyes are starting to adjust, allowing him to see a dark, foreboding hallway just a few feet in front of him. Gulping down his fear, Mao Mao begins to make his way down the hall, further into the inky blackness despite his brain telling him not to. Even so, he carries on, setting aside his uncertainty for Adorabat’s sake.

Mao Mao’s arm hovers over the sword at his side without really knowing why, feeling more and more anxious with every step that he takes. His ears ring with the sound of echoing creaks and groans of the building, making him even more uneasy. His heartbeat pounds against his ribcage as his eyes scan what lies ahead, not that he can see very much of it. He wouldn’t be surprised if this hall turned out to be a dead end. Judging from the state of the rest of the house, rubble or debris could easily be blocking his path.

“Adorabat...! Come on, it isn’t safe in here!”

Mao Mao’s voice comes out sounding kind of pathetic, wavering a bit at the end of his shout, causing his face to contort into a cringe. This silly fear is so unlike him, but whether he likes it or not, an icy dread has filled his body. He doesn’t know what’s come over him, but he does his best to push his cowardice away, straightening up and holding his head up high.

His body almost has trouble moving forward, yet he continues to walk further in, arms gently sliding against the walls to guide him through. He can almost see the end of the hallway, just barely able to make out a different area. A little bit of relief floods his senses; maybe this isn’t so bad. In fact, he’s almost sure now that he’ll stumble upon Adorabat any second now. There’s absolutely nothing to fear, right?

“BOO!”

Terror.

Pure, unfiltered terror fills Mao Mao to the brim as Adorabat jumps out from god knows where, almost causing him to fall to the ground from the surprise. His fur instantly poofs out (more than you’d think was possible) and his pupils shrink into thin black slits, darting from place to place at a ridiculous speed, trying to figure out what’s going on.

Mao Mao slowly regains his composure and bearing on the situation, but not before taking out his sword out of habit and swinging it around haphazardly, screaming in a surprisingly high pitch the whole time, narrowly missing Adorabat with his wild slices. There’s almost no hallway left by the time Mao Mao is done with it, most likely about to collapse from the damage to the structure.

A couple of moments go by, void of any sound or movement whatsoever.

Adorabat doesn’t move.

Mao Mao doesn’t move.

The house even stops creaking for a couple of seconds as the two of them stare at each other.

“...Gotcha?”

“ADORABAT.”

Bonus:

The sky pirates’ mouths almost hit the forest floor when they see what’s happened to the building they’ve been squatting at. It somehow looks even worse than it did before they left for the night to go scavenging. At least it looked vaguely like a house before! Now it just looks like a heap of gross old wood on the ground, totally irredeemable and inhabitable. It only takes a couple of moments for them to all notice how much trash has been left on the ground as well. Whoever came and trashed their shelter did not care about the environment.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

SECRET RADIO | 9.26.20

Secret Radio | 9.26.20 |  Hear it here.

“We don’t know where you are but we’re glad you’re here”

Liner notes by Evan, except * means Paige

1. Ayalew Mesfin - “Hasabe (My Worries)”

This track comes to us via Marc Hawthorne in San Francisco and is some hot Ethiopian stomp. Marc has been turning me on to crucial music for years, but I feel like both of our palates have expanded in unexpected directions lately. I love how foreign and how relatable this song sounds at once — “hasabe” really does sound like a guy singing about his worries, which makes it feel like he’s speaking the same language. 

2. Witch - “Introduction”

Such a commandingly hip voice announcing the band and getting us all in the groove. Witch is Zambian rock in a pretty unhinged style — apparently WITCH stands for “We Intend To Create Havoc,” which if true is basically the greatest band name ever. 

3. Erkin Koray - “Cemelim”

Every time I hear this track I think of Jefferson Airplane’s foreboding sense of dark anticipation. The added frills of shifting into Turkish bent-note vocals takes it up another level. This track is from 1974 but carries the whole psychedelic ‘60s wave forward in an unbroken wave. As we mentioned, the video is worth checking out not just because the singer/guitarist is mesmerizing or because the bassist is inherently hilarious but because their outfits are legendary. Our thanks to Brian and Mona for the heads up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-k_Fr67bPQ

4. The Velvet Underground - “Coney Island Steeplechase”

“Lies and betrayals / fruit-covered nails” — naw, just kiddin, this song happens long before Pavement, or the Strokes for that matter. I never really understood what people meant when they said that the Strokes sound like VU, but listening to this song in headphones it kinda feels like the Julian Casablancas built an entire career off Lou’s vocal delivery on this song. And who could blame him? Lou wasn’t usin it anymore.

Hailu Mergia - “Sintayehu”

We got this record during the pandemic and it has been like a stress dissolver. There’s a tape that we got in Manhattan Kansas at a house show we played, a band called Casino Gardens, that I think of every time we hear this album. Not the same in particulars, but very much the same in spirit.

5. Divino Niño - “Melty Caramelo”

One of Sleepy Kitty’s first tours was with Divino Niño (thanks, Brandon!) just as they were assembling, and they have always been a band of fellows we enjoy as much as the music that they write. I did this set of dates with a broken bone in my swole-up, purple right hand, which I wouldn’t recommend to any drummers out there. I will say though that every single drummer in the bar that night told me that they had broken the same exact bone the same way. Not by drumming but by punching an inanimate object. 

6. Moodoïd - “Je suis la montagne”

I think this song is a benefit of Paige learning French for the last couple of years. Found it on a 3.5 hour French mix on Spotify.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCuthCn8zxs

7. Sleepy Kitty - “Dreaming of Waterfalls” demo *

There are like, 7 people who have heard this song until now. This song came pretty mysteriously to me after a completely transformative trip to Kauaʻi for the wedding of ace folks and dear friends Stewart and Trenton. People who have gone to Hawaiʻi have always told me how amazing Hawaiʻi is and how it’ll change your life and it’s the best place in the entire world, and I was always like, “ok, sure whatever” until we went and now I am forever changed. I won’t get too into it here, but it’s all totally true and as amazing as they say. I can’t remember if this song was literally in the dream I had in San Diego the night we returned to the contiguous 48, or if it somehow emerged out of thinking of that dream, but it basically just appeared and I thought about it and thought about it and kept it in my head the whole plane ride back to St. Louis and recorded it pretty much immediately when we got back. I played 2 songs at our friends’ wedding on uke (where I was relieved to get approval from the Hawaiian family, ha ha) and it’s still a very unfamiliar instrument to me but it was the only answer for this song.

This is also one of a few recordings I made shortly before the first of 2 vocal surgeries around that time. It was kind of a stressful time musically; I was still figuring out what was going on, knowing something was wrong, getting hoarse all the time but not knowing what was going on yet.  Learning the songs for the wedding, and this song and this recording are positive memories in what was a very uncertain period in Sleepy Kitty life. I can definitely remember the challenges and limitations of that time, but it’s great to have this beautiful little moment that came out of that time too. When I hear this now, I like it and I’m glad to have it. It transports me back to that magical place and I’m thankful to Stewart and Trenton for having us there to celebrate with them.

8. The Fall - “Arms Control Poseur” (Bonus Version) (whatever that means)

“What do you fear?”

“Being found out.”

“The why do you always give yourself away?”

After initially being repulsed by The Fall, I eventually had what felt like essentially a religious experience after falling asleep listening to them on repeat in the tour bus — somehow their perverse aesthetic had become grafted into my DNA. I became an avid proselytizer for the band, with few takers, for years. Eventually I kind of gave up, baffled both by how intensely I felt their music and how immune everyone else apparently was to it. 

Cut to years later in an apartment on North Ave in Chicago, watching Paige bike up the street towards the window where I stood. She apologized as she walked her bike up the stairs. Sorry I’m late, she said, I just got caught up in the Fall. I don’t know how to explain it. You don’t understand, The Fall is not like other bands.

I literally thought that she was teasing me, and that I must have talked her ear off about the band at some point. But NO — she’d had the exact sort of conversion experience as me. In her case it was to “Extricate,” which was one of my very favorite albums, being the second one I personally owned. 

Still, this record’s aesthetic is completely dominant in my life. I couldn’t even guess how many times I’ve listened to it, and it still fascinates me every time.

“I quite very very much enjoyed 

his jovial lies

lying”

9. T.P. Orchestre Poly-Rythmo - “Wodeka Kpoe”

The day I found this track I was completely distracted by it. It’s so muscular and lean and intense. I love everything about the almost metallic drum sound, the dry vocals, the guitar telling its own narrative, the sharp little shaker going the whole time. It’s the closest thing to punk in Beninese music that I’ve heard. I read recently that this was on a 1983 Albarika Records comp LP (the person referred to the as “legendary,” but I don’t know to whom, or when), and when I looked it up a lot of other tracks that we love from the Soundway comp were there. But as far as I know, it’s not on any of those 21st century collections. So good!

10. Orchestre Abass - “Haka Dunia”

The cover of this 6-song burner shows a guy with a guitar behind a keyboard called TIGER 61, with his foot up on… what? the keys bench? There’s a single pedal on the floor that leads up into the keyboard. The sounds that come from that board though! This is a tone I think of as completely desirable. I guess this is also punk, this one from Togo. I mean, I have no idea what he/they think they’re doing, but to me it feels like it has all the stuff that I love in punk music.

Hailu Mergia

11. T.P. Orchestre de Cotonou Benin - “Moulon Devia”

I just realized this track can be found elsewhere, but I found it on a record credited to T.P. Orchestre Poly-Rythmo de Cotonou Benin, with a great photo of Yehouessi Leopold and Zoundegnon Papillon Bernard on the cover looking like the coolest dudes in the world cos they are. There are some great stereo panning effects, no doubt done live, on the horns at the beginning and the keys solo in the middle, which really enriches the headphone experience. This keys solo uses a suite of sounds that I absolutely love from them — and which are apparently the work of Papillon himself! I knew he was the guitarist who builds sand castles in the air of T.P. songs, but I only just realized that he’s also the guy throwing down those supper trippy Farfisa sounds! Holy smokes, that’s just ridiculous. He and Yehouessi are probably my favorite rhythm combo ever. PLUS they’ve got Bentho Gustave on bass, whose T.P. album was the first one we bought abroad. I mean, this track is so epic.

12. Patrick Juvet - “Où sont les femmes”*

I have a new awesome French teacher, who sends me cabaret songs to check out and says things like “I’m an old queen! What am I to do!” He played this song over Zoom for some live hold music while I was printing something for a recent lesson. I’m excited to hopefully hear more French music from him and also to hear more of his stories of discotheques in the 80s.

Evan adds: The video is well worth your attention as well, especially if you like red sequins glinting disco diamonds beneath deeply feathered hair. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zqc7mVZQNFo

13. Le Tigre - “Deceptacon”

This is one of the all-time top art school party songs as far as I know. And why the hell not? It’s pure Olympia, and all the hooks line up all the way down.

I video that someone made for school has essentially become the official video of the song because it’s totally awesome and fits like a pure expression of the song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SyBR-M2YvU

14. Themne Song Track 1  

I don’t know who performed this track or what it’s called — it’s just identified as “Themne Song Track 1,” Themne being the name of a tribe in Sierra Leone. I think it might be a “comedian story teller” called Miranda T Denkenneh, but can’t tell.

I’ve been into Janka Nabay and the Bubu Gang for a couple of years now. Nabay is a Sierra Leonan musician who came to NYC and put together a band of hip NY musicians who make this rhythmically complex yet somehow austere dance music that I find totally fascinating. Reading up on them, he was described as translating the music he came from into a more electric style. Well, it turns out that is indeed the case, based on this track from Sierra Leone. This sounds like Janka Nabay but warm and large where his music is focused and tight. I totally see both how damn danceable this Themne 

One of my favorite things about discovering this song is: the notes on the YouTube track are exclusively from ex-pats loving music from home and the old days, calling out their tribe and checking in from wherever they are. One guy, Ibrahim Noah Koroma, writes from Senegal:

tears fall down in my eyes when I listing dis song missing u SL 🇸🇱🇸🇱💪💪💪 I'm proud of my tribe temne 💯💪💪💪

15. The Sugarcubes - “Regina”

The setup of this song is such an angular, proggy spiky comic thing, definitely cool in its own way, but man, when it hits the chorus, it’s absolutely the most gorgeous thing. The lyrics are truly bizarre, and they’re making me appreciate how this band impacted Bjork’s later work. One thing I don’t understand: does she pronounce “Regina” with a hard G because that’s how that word is pronounced in Icelandic? Or is that just something she does?

16. Gétatchèw Mèkurya - “Ambassèl”

The more we learn about Ethiopian jazz and popular music before and after their political strife, the more there is to learn. In fact, one thing I learned about Mèkurya is that he played with Dutch socialist punks The Ex, a band I have admired for a couple of decades now, though mostly because I’m stuck on their album “Scrabbling at the Lock.” They apparently toured together in the aughties… and all of a sudden I can hear how their very different sounds actually relate very aptly. Man. That’s enough to fall in love with music all over again.

Also, one fact that must be acknowledged: Gétatchèw is maybe the best first name ever.

17. Jacques Dutronc - “Et moi, et moi, et moi”

I just dropped these lyrics into Google translate and it turns out he’s got a very identifiable brand of humor — wry, confident, diffident. He always makes me think of Dylan with his delivery.

18. Meas Samon - “Jol Dondeung Kone Key (Going to Get Engaged)”

So much feel! Those key dives just to open the song, man, I don’t even know. And the vocals are spilling over with character — it’s like watching a movie unfold. This is Cambodian, from the late sixties or early seventies. Every time it gets to the keys solos I think about how much I want Dave Grelle to hear this track, like, right now. It’s between this and Abass for sickest keys distortion to be found.

19. T.P. Orchestre - “Senamin” *

What is up with this song? We came across it and kind of set it aside, and then it was just in my head all. the. time. At first I wasn’t sure about the 1996 movie version “I’d Be Surprisingly Good For You” style sax (my LEAST favorite song in Evita) But, even so this song is so...majestic! And mysterious! The haunting melodies dancing around together at the end really got me.  

20. Hallelujah Chicken Run Band - “Alikilula”

The constant interaction of 3s and 4s in Chicken Run songs never fails to delight me. The shapes of the songs are almost like Guided By Voices tracks — one good idea perfectly expressed, and then they’re outta there. 

21. Antoine Dougbé - “Nou Akuenon Hwlin Me Sin Koussio”

If I could pick one album for all of my friends to spin a few times in a row… that would not be easy. But lately, that record would be “Legends of Benin,” the totally headspinning comp put out by Analog Africa. Every track is a deep insight into what rock music can be. In the liner notes, Samy Ben Redjeb takes the listener on a whole record-buying expedition through the southern coast of west Africa, describing where he picked up particular LPs, falling into conversations with some of the musicians, and generally providing insights both romantic and invaluable. (His notes on Dougbé are worth the price of admission.) In one note he mentions talking to a friend about how Africa doesn’t seem to deal well in reggae, and he considers “Nou Akuenon” one of the best attempts on the continent. It hadn’t occurred to me to think of this as reggae… and I still don’t hear it that way. But I like thinking of the band reaching for reggae and making this instead. 

22. Francoise Hardy - “Les temps de l’amour”

23. Ros Sereysothea - Chnam oun Dop-Pram Muy “I’m 16”

I love how fully developed these Cambodian songs are. They’re not aping a particular song or building replicas of songs in English or French: they’re working in pop music just like anyone else. The arrangements are so tight and well structured, and everybody is adding in more than their share on their instruments. Though Ros’s voice steals the show, the backing vocals on this song are especially good as well.

24. Aerovons - “Say Georgia”

Man, one of the pleasures of living in St. Louis was learning the story of The Aerovons, a group of high school kids who got flown across the Atlantic to record at Abbey Road with all of the same gear and technicians who were busy putting together records for The Beatles… only to have the album go unreleased for decades. It’s truly a reminder to appreciate the experience itself and not just the results. These guys experienced the absolute pinnacle of the studio recording dream — there is none higher — but that’s it. None of the fame or the attendant glory, just the knowledge of what they’d been able to do together.

“Texas Thunder Soul 1968-1974”

25. Ravi Shankar - Jazzmine - “Mishrank (Finale)”

The whole “Jazzmine” album is a mindblower, and it’s almost a shame to cut right to the finale of an album that builds its case song by song, illustrating the paths that Shankar’s raga and jazz take toward each other, from “Melodic Moods” to the amazing tabla solos of “Taalank” to “Deshank (Folk Patterns)” to crest with “Mishrank,” where Zep meets jazz club meets Somalian backroom in an Indian realm. Every solo brings a ton of new information about whose voices are adding to this total experience. And more than anything, it sounds like fun.

One thing I dig about this recording is that, as far as I can tell, more than one performance of this song is spliced together into this single track. That seems like a big no-no among jazz folks, but I really don’t mind it one bit — if anything, that helps me hear the song relative to more jarring experimental tape manipulation bands. 

Jason Todd x Harper reader pt 1

Conner is referring to Connor Hawke.

Warning: Cursing

Word count: 2202

It had been ages since you last saw your brother. After he left Oliver and speedy he would usually come back to visit you. It had been almost a year since he visited you last. Every time you would walk by one of his pictures in the hall you would get sad. You were very close growing up. You only had each other for a long time. When Oliver took you both in and trained you two, you could see him starting to grow away from you. Roy joined the Titans and Young Justice, outsiders... All while you stayed here. Star city your my home even though it isn't the best, You can't abandon it. He left and it looks like this time he stayed gone.

You moved out of the Queen Mansion a while ago. Connor was sad to see you go but you needed to be on my own. You still go out with them as Red Arrow but you just go back to my own apartment after. Thankfully you can actually call it yours now with your job as an assistant to one of Oli's top businessmen. If you're being honest Oliver did get you the job but you kept it and it pays really well.

You decide after a full day of running errands in the rain you decide its time to go home at the somewhat decent time of 8 o'clock on a Friday night. Unlocking the door to your apartment you step into the cool dark livingroom tempted to just plop down on the couch but remember that Connor was coming over to watch movies after his briefing with his dad and will probably be at your apartment at 10 o'clock.

The door to the bathroom swings open and you drag yourself into the shower for a quick pick me up before Connor arrives. After having to drag yourself out of the nice warm shower you put on a cute pajama set you impulsively bought last week. It was a maroon cropped velvet tank top with matching shorts. It felt a little weird for you to dress up for only Connor who had seen you bloody and dying before but something inside you coerced you to look cute tonight.

After making your way out of the bathroom you head to the kitchen to make dinner. You weren't the best chef but there were a couple of dishes you found adequate and Conner just appreciated anything edible. You decided to just boil some water for white rice and then start on some teriyaki chicken. You grab your bag of frozen potstickers out of the freezer and throw those on an oiled pan with some water.

Consumed in your cooking you barely notice the slide of a window opening. Thankfully the vigilante side of you perks up and you insightfully grab the knife the left of you. You duckt down hiding behind the counter. Checking you watch it's only 9 o'clock which is too early for Conner to be here. Peeking around the corner you see three large figures roll through the window in the living room across the kitchen. The figures whisper among themselves before one stands and starts to walk towards the kitchen. Before they step into the light. You pounce up throwing the chef's knife directly at the assailant. They expertly dodge it and jump forwards with their hands in the air in surrender.

Roy. his red hair is long and unruly. His blue eyes are wide and he stammers out, "Y/N stop it's me."

You scowl, "And?"

"Look," he sighs, "I know you are probably mad at me-"

"Probably!" You yell storming your way over to him, "Roy I am pissed at you, absolutely livid with your dumb ass."The two other figures step into the light concerned for their friend most likely. I step closer and pull the knife out of the wall pointing it at Roy's neck, "Get out."

"Y/N c' mon it's me you can't be mad at me forever," he pleads. You give him a dangerous look telling him you can and will be mad at him forever. "Okay you can but please don't I know it's been a while bu-"

"A while? Roy its been a year!"

"I know. I know I probably missed a lot-"

You laugh a dangerous laugh that runs shivers down the three's spine, "No Roy you didn't miss that much." you laugh sarcastically, " Just your own birthday, my birthday, my graduation, The fucking Star city apocalypse, My death!"

"Y-you died?" He finally speaks.

You can tell he was concerned but at this point you where to mad at you 'brother' to care, " Yeah Roy I died. It took Conner making a fucking deal with the devel to get Nyssa Al Ghul to dunk me that fucking magical hot tub to bring me back. And where whee you Roy! Out fucking Aliens?" you turn to the orange-skinned and pink-haired girl to the left of him," No offense."

She shakes her head, "N-None taken."

You sigh and turn around to check on your food making sure it didn't burn. After you turn off the burners in an uncomfortable silence you check your watch, 9:30, before talking, "Just go away Roy." you whisper out. "Conner is going to be here in 30 minutes and I don't want you here when he does.

You see Roys face scrunch up at Conners name and he stomps up to you," Why the hell is Connor Hawke coming over to your apartment at 10 o'clock at night?" he says to harsh for your liking.

"Because he always comes over on Fridays after briefing with Oli!" you don't have to answer to him but the little sister inside of you still does.

"What! Why? Is he like your boyfriend now?" Roy shouts blinking over a million times. Its something he does when he is in big brother mode.

"No." you answer truthfully, "But after the time you've been gone you don't get a say in it."

"Why him?" he answers so quietly you doubt the other two far behind hm could here.

"Because Roy, he's been a better brother to me in the last year than you have been in a long time," you whisper back equally as quiet.

This takes him by surprise and his shoulders slump at your hard gaze and he turns to leave. He signals his friends and they are out the same way they came in. And just in time the door knocks.

~~~~

Roy leads the others to a rooftop across from your apartment. He watches you open the door for Connor and he hugs you the way he used.

Jason lays a hand on his best friends shoulder in an attempt to be comforting, "It's okay dude you can win her back." Jason side-eyes Kori who is visibly upset at the secrets she thinks Roy has been hiding.

"There is no 'winning her back' Jason. She doesn't even need me around anymore she has Connor now."

"Yeah I mean I guess I'd be worried about other guys if my Ex-Girlfriend was as hot as her but-"

"Wait, what!" Roy shouts eyes wide.

"Oh uhm sorry man I mean pretty not trying to steal your girl he-"

"No! Oh God Jason NO!"

"What?" Jason was confused at Roys outbursts. Kori was less mad and moor intrigued now as she listened to the conversation.

"She's not my girlfriend dipshit Y/N is my sister!"

Jason and Kori both stand shocked for a while before Jason speaks, "I'm so confused."

"Y/N is my sister her name is Y/N Harper Oliver took us both in and she is now Red Arrow and Conner is like basically her new brother since I have kinda been an asshole to her recently."

"Ohhhh," Kori and Jason both say at the same time. "Well, that's wonderful!" Kori exclaims loudly.

"How?" Roy yells confused.

"Well," Kori starts," I thought you had been cheating on her with me. I was very upset with you Roy Harper. But now I see it was all just a misunderstanding."

"Yes," Roy sighs a misunderstanding," I can't believe you guys thought I dated Y/N that's disgusting oh my god." Kori chuckles and then they all stand in silence for a while, "Why are you being so quiet?" Roy asks Jason who just stares off into the distance.

Jason looks back at Roy with a sly smirk played on his lips, "So you're saying she single?"

~~~~

You woke up in your warm bed thankful it was a Sunday and you didn't have to work till 8 o'clock tomorrow. It was a long week and you really needed the day off after Roys surprise visit two days ago. You make your way out of bed and into the kitchen for breakfast. Throwing some fruit in a blender you called it a day and flopped on the couch with your thick red drink. Slirping and scrolling you laid there before deciding to get dressed. It was a good thing you did because there was a knock a the door as soon as you finished. You answered the door in your black shorts black halter top with an unbuttoned red Star City Spartans jersey. Before you stood the man that Roy had brought when he came on Friday. You had recognized the orange girl from her time with the Teen Titan but this dark-haired and blue-eyed boy was foreign to you.

"Yes?" you asked the man in front of you.

"Can I talk to you please," he asks with sparkling blue eyes.

You figure that if he's a friend of Roy he can't be dangerous..."Yeah." you mumble opening the door more for the large man to walk in.

When he is fully inside he looks at you with a smile and jus his hand out at you, "Hi, I'm Jason."

"I'm Y/N," you say awkwardly. He stares at you for a minute."Do you want to sit down?" You ask gesturing to the couch.

"Yes thank you." he lets out a breath.

"So uhm what are you dong here Jason?" you ask sitting in the chair across from him.

"Look," he looks down," Roy is my best friend and it's my fault he hasn't been here with you. I got him caught up in all of my problems and he was just being a good friend and trying to help me."

You let out a sigh, " Jason you seem like a good guy but it was Roy's decision not to come back. I had never even heard of a Jason so when he just ran off and never came back I feared the worst. Till I saw him running around with you guys it just felt like he completely forgot about me. It made me realize I don't need a big brother anymore I'm an adult and I have been for 4 years I think it's better this way."

"Y/N if my experience with family has tough me anything it taught me that you can't just give up on them. They can make a ton of mistakes over and over and over again but family will forgive them and help them. So please I know you may not need Roy but he needs you. You have no idea how crushed he has been. It hurts me seeing him like this."

"That's sweet and all Jason I'm glad you are all lover dovey with your family bu-"

"Y/N when I was murdered when I was 15 my father never avenged me he just replaced me with someone new. When I came back I was so mad at him I came back and tried to kill him and my replacement. But my brothers didn't give up they helped me see that we are family and that that's wrong and the kid is my brother now. They still don't agree with my methods and I fight with my dad constantly but we both know that if we need each other we will be there."

The story sounded very familiar. Oliver had told you about it a year ago. You should have known with the dark hair and blue eyes, "You're the second Robin aren't you."

He sighed, "Yeah, just please for a fellow zombie give Roy a second chance."

You laugh and nod, "For a fellow zombie."

He smiles and stands up, "C' mon the flight to Gotham leaves in an hour."

"Wait, what!" you yell at his laughing form.

"Yeah Y/N, our base is in Gotham so let's go."

"No no no no no I have work tomorrow..."

"Take a week off you will be fine." he rolls his eyes.

"Jason I can't I have to call in early and find someone to fill in for me and-"

"I'll take you to a Spartans game," he offered eying your outfit.

"Fine." you agree.

After making several phone calls and pleading you finally have the week off. You had to promise to scope out Wyane enterprises but you are finally free. You just hope the son of its owner doesn't mind.

Jason walks you out of the apartment and chuckles to himself, "I can't believe you are a Spartans fan."

You scoff, "I'm from Star City I'm a die-hard Spartans fan."

"Eww, Gotham Knights all the way."

You gasp loudly, "How dare you!" you say dramatically, "Alteast you don't like the Metropolis Meteors."

Jason scoffs, "I. Would. Never." he says dramatically as you laugh.

Even if you have to deal with Roy for a week at least Jason isn't that bad.

***

This will be a short mini-series with smut later on but you don't have to read that part if you don't want to.

2202 words.

842

have you ever violated school dress code? My Catholic school had us on a very tight leash and we’d have to be crazy to dare to break the dress code over there. My university doesn’t have a dress code though and anyone entering the campus can dress up any way they want, which I’ve always been grateful for. if you are listening to music, is the singer male/female? They are five dudes. what, if anything, do you give up for Lent? I never observed Lent; and as much of a religious fanatic my mother is, I’m glad she never forced me to fast or abstain from something I liked. what phrase leads your mind directly to the gutter? 69, even though it’s childish. when you feel like giving up, how do you convince yourself not to? I just tell myself that things will get better because that seems to be the pattern all the time with me, which is a really good thing.

what are your opinions on immigration? I don’t know much about the issues and its intricacies but as an Asian, I really admire fellow Asians who don’t speak a word of English, end up in the States or somewhere similar and build themselves a better life there. It’s fucking metal. would you tell an actual immigrant your views? Sure, if the topic is raised. what was the subject of the last list you made? There was a tweet asking people to list down which YouTubers practically ~raised them~ growing up, so I joined in the fun and gave my own names. If I remember correctly I listed down Pewdiepie, Smosh, Grace Helbig, Hannah Hart, and the entire Brit crew. do you ever get nervous before interviews/important meetings? Only if it’s supposed to be crucial. Like I imagine I’d be sweating bullets for my first job interview. who pays for the majority of your belongings? My parents. would you ever willingly shop in a thrift store? Of course. There are always some great finds in them. what is the most that you would ever spend on an outfit? Assuming I’m earning my own money, I’m willing to spend around ₱5000 to ₱10,000 on a top or bottom but I can widen my wallet a lot more if we’re talking shoes, because I like them more haha. is there anything you do that just outrages your parents? I know my mom hates it whenever she pulls us for online mass and I visibly grumble. I don’t know if my dad is annoyed with anything I do; and if he feels that way he’ll tell me. I respect him a lot more so if that’s the case, I’ll actually stop whatever it is I’m doing. when was the last time you were embarrassed in public? Probably when I was brought to the hospital a month ago and the nurse was explaining to me how to take a urine test.  have you ever won an award you were actually proud of? If Latin honors count, then yes. That was my only goal when I started college, and I reached it, so I’m allowing myself to be proud of, well, myself. the importance of education, rate it from 1-10, 10 as most important? 12. --- explain your choice to rate it as such? It’s different when you come from a third-world country. Education is realistically your only way out. what is the coolest science experiment you've ever done? I liked the ones that we did that involved chemicals and powders. are you experiencing difficulties with any friends right now? Not really. There’s a chance JM has been irritated with me because I always turn really grumpy when he messages me about work stuff, but if he is, at this point I don’t really care anymore because I’ve been detached from org work for a while now. I busted my ass for the org for three years so I think I’m entitled to feel detached now haha. how do you deal with a fight between yourself and a friend? I haven’t been in an argument with one of them in a while but I would prefer to talk it out. when you apologize to someone after a fight, how do you go about saying that you are sorry? I apologize and I mention the thing I did that they were hurt by, so that they feel acknowledged. In the end, I tell them that I’ll be better and if there’s anything I can do to make them feel better or to make the situation better, that they shouldn’t hesitate to let me know. have you ever played around with "dry ice"? No. Isn’t that dangerous lol? do you think parents are responsible for the actions of their children? For the most part, yes. But I know there are still some instances where parents can try and try to be understanding and be the best influences, but their kids will still end up going down the wrong path. There isn’t one answer to this, I think. should the military draft take both men AND women? why/why not? I don’t know, it’s a little complicated. I’m definitely all about equality and providing the same opportunities for men and women, but I know there’s a lot of issues on sexual harassment and assault in the military that have yet to be fixed. Until that’s ironed out and I hear change taking place, it seems a little shady to randomly pick out women to join the military.  when was the last time that you corrected someone? My mom had a grammatical error in her Facebook post from yesterday so I told her what the right word to use was. when was the last time you were corrected? I set the table for breakfast today and apparently it wasn’t enough for my mom, who liked her plate to be set in a certain way. when did you last say "i told you so"? Maybe when Kate told me she had broken up with the guy she was having a thing with, lol. is there any celebrity you like to "keep up with"? Not really. I think I’m over that phase now. I’ll check up my faves from time to time, but otherwise I don’t feel the need to read daily updates on them anymore. celebrity gossip: YAY or BOO? Yay if it has substance or if it’s controversial, like a celebrity being exposed for sexual harassment; boo if it’s something stupid like “Kendall Jenner spotted eating pasta today.” what is the most life-changing book you have read? I haven’t encountered it yet. have you had a negative impact on anyone's life? I would say so. I wasn’t always the nicest kid; and I also did a shitty job handling my friendship with Sofie when we were off to college. has anyone had a negative impact on yours? who/why? Yeah. Some relatives, some teachers who didn’t know how to act like teachers, and some people I distinctly remember that bullied me when I was a kid. how will you know when you are ready to get married? I guess when I’m no longer nervous thinking about it and when I’m already 100% sure that I’m independent and capable of looking out for myself. I don’t wanna be married and still be slightly dependent on my parents, which is what a lot of young Filipino married couples end up doing. how much time have you spent contemplating your own death? A very, very good amount. is there a joke that you just can't stand? Ones that you just can’t defend and are just simply offensive, like slavery or poverty. I’ve seen a few shows where they’d refer to the Philippines being poor or being a source of child labor for laughs, and they’ve never been funny to me. have you ever read any self-help books? No, I don’t really trust those lol since they’re usually written by people from other countries who most likely have different experiences and perspectives. If I need some help I’d rather figure it out myself and hear from people that I trust, like my friends. what's your take on the obesity problem in america? It’s a serious problem, obviously. I don’t know much about it other than the fact that Americans are crazy about their fast food and that their serving sizes are ginormous. I really hope they find more ways to address it. what is something you used to love, but now greatly dislike? Journalism. what is something you used to dislike, but now like? Chicken curry, and I think spicy food in general haha. when/if you become a parent, what will you do differently, compared to how your parents raised you? I’ll be more involved. I’ll compliment them more, not invalidate their feelings, and I’ll let them talk when I do something that upsets them, and I’ll apologize to them for it.

do you equate spanking with physical abuse? would you spank a child? The way Filipino parents do it, yeah especially. They don’t just do it with their hands - spanking kids here usually involve slippers and belts. My mom forbade anyone to spank me and my siblings, but nonetheless I watched it happen to my cousins and that alone was traumatic enough for me. How much more for them?

The thing is that it can’t be assumed that kids are able to process why they’re being punished, so I think that any physical punishment to them will just drive them away from their parents, which to me makes it physical abuse. I would never spank my own kids. what's the most ridiculous thing you've done this week? Skipping out the rest of my shower because a moth came into the bathroom and started flying around me lmaoooo eugh. --- did you regret it/love it/hate it/want to do it again/etc? I fucking hated it. if your bf/gf wanted to wait until marriage for sex, would you be willing? Yes. Sex honestly isn’t really a big deal to me. when you look at the sunset, what do you think about/feel? I don’t really think when I look at the sunset. I just admire how pretty it looks and savor the quick few seconds of the sun going down. is there someone you wish you could trust/you wish was trustworthy? No? I don’t wait on people to be trustworthy, if that’s what you mean. I’m grateful for the people who are already around me that I can trust. is there anyone that you no longer want in you life? who/why? There are times I wish I could get rid of my mom so that I don’t get yelled at as much anymore and so that I don’t have anyone watching my every move so much so that I’m cautious to walk around in my own house.

how has your outlook on life changed in the past few years? I’m a lot happier and more stable this time around. I’m glad I stayed around to see the change happen. have you ever walked out of a boring movie (in theaters)? Absolutely not. Even if the movie was bad, I’d watch it through the end. Ticket prices are not to be fucked with lol. how open are you with people you know online? ...What do you think? what do you think of athletes that take steroids? Idk about other sports but that’s a big fuck no in wrestling, after it’s led to addiction, overdoses, and a lot of deaths especially in the 80s and 90s. if a celebrity is involved in scandal after scandal, is that likely to affect how you view him/her & his/her work? Depends on the scandal. I don’t mind when nudes or videos get leaked because honestly, the leakers are the assholes in that situation. But if the scandal is something like people speaking out to accuse a celebrity of racism, abuse, or harassment, then I can very much turn against that person. what is one celebrity that you have zero respect for? Amber Heard. have you ever driven under the influence of alcohol/drugs? Just slightly tipsy, but I’ve always made sure that I’m super super super aware of my surroundings in those times. I won’t drive – and I know my friends won’t allow me to – if I was even just a little dizzy. I’m always the first to start sobering up when I go out to drink because I’m usually the only one with a car and thus responsible for bringing my friends home. are you overly attached to your material possessions? For the most part, yeah. have you ever ridiculed anyone for their clothing choices? Not to their faces. living in poverty: what do you think it'd be like? I already live in a country wallowing in it. My family isn’t poor, but I see poverty on a daily basis nonetheless. No documentary or article can best explain it to anyone who has never lived in a poverty-stricken country. Pretty insensitive question btw. what is one "diet" that you think is just utterly worthless? I’m not familiar with any of them. what advice would you give someone that is uncomfortable with his or her body/appearance? I prefer not to give advice because some people don’t wanna hear it and just wanna hear reassurances and boosters. That said, I’ll just keep encouraging them and telling them that they look really good in their outfit and just making them feel valid and seen. what advice would you give someone about to start high school? Don’t be scared to make mistakes and while you should always study hard and do your best, don’t take everything seriously. It’s high school and won’t matter on your professional resume.   what foreign food are you NOT interested in trying? Uhhhh this question makes no sense to me ahahaha I’m always down to try anything. what foreign country do you believe is misunderstood? I can’t speak for other countries but I know mine is pretty misunderstood. I’ve read countless testimonies of Filipinos getting condescendingly told “You speak good English for a Filipino” by white Americans, not knowing that their country conquered mine for 40ish years. That’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to misconceptons about my country and its people.    have you ever felt entirely unwanted and alone? Of course. in your eyes, which is worse: rape or murder? Both are equally bad and disgusting but I’ll have to go with rape, because 1) the victim has to live with the trauma and fear for the rest of their life, 2) victims are usually too scared to speak out for fear of being judged or not being believed, and 3) victim-blaming is still a big problem today. do you understand/read shakespeare? No. When we took up Shakespeare in high school I bought the No Fear versions. would you feel comfortable living with someone that owned a gun? No. do you know anyone that lives in a foreign country? Tons.

Video Games Pt3: Video Game Challenge

I saw this list on Pinterest out of nowhere, and what better way to ring in the new year than with another questionnaire, about my favorite pastime! This is the spiritual successor to Part 1 and Part 2.

Day 1 - Very first video game: Pacman and/or Mortal Kombat and/or Samurai Shodown on arcade machines (way back in the day when laundromats had arcade machines and gumball machines and such in them--good times, good times U_U); Tetris on computers; and a buttload of PS1 titles (again: back in the good ole days when consoles came with promo demo discs--I had Frogger, Need for Speed, Medieval, and a bunch of others).

Day 2 - Your favorite character: Here’s my Top 10 Males post and Top 10 Females post.

Day 3 - A game that is underrated: I will preach the greatness of PS1′s Legend of Dragoon till my dying day. It was doomed to dwell in Final Fantasy 7′s shadow, which came out earlier that same year, and it’s a real shame, cuz LoD was E V E R Y T H I N G.

My favorite aspects of the game are:

Its lore and worldbuilding. On top of the fact that the premise of the game is could be an anime series in its own right, you just get SO EXCITED to visit each new location, and uncover more about the world’s history, and see the different architecture, technologies, cultures and different races (I LOVE the Winglies, of course). It’s actually a gorgeous game for its time.

The combat -- I STILL have some of the Addition patterns memorized to this very day! They get progressively harder as you level up, but once you get used to the timing you feel so dang good. Die, More and More!

The soundtrack and cutscenes. The NOSTALGIA? O_O Bruh. The story is just really good, and was the very first video game to make me cry when certain...events...happened. Play the game and find out for yourself!

Day 4 - Your guilty pleasure game: The Sims, Dragon Age...any and all EA games. Effing ashamed of myself every time I give that nest of corporate demons at Electronic Farts money. “Surprise mechanics” my arse. 

Day 5 - Game character you feel you are most like (or wish you were): Has Jar Jar Binks been in a video game yet? Then that’s me. XD But I wish I was most like Lara Croft, as explained in my Top 10 Females post.

Day 6 - Most annoying character: For females it’s Lightning from Final Fantasy 13, and for males it’s Vaan, from Final Fantasy 12. I don’t mind as much when supporting characters are effing annoying (Vanille, Hope, etc), but when it’s the MAIN protagonist?! WHY, Square Enix? WHY.

Lightning was just a negative nancy debbie downer. I wish they had swapped Serah and Lightning, I seriously do. I just couldn’t stand her dry and soulless personality. She wasn’t being edgy or bada** or cool or sexy or FANG or anything; she was just a bitter jaded unhappy wench.

And with Vaan I just effing hate that dude. Why was he even there? They tried so hard to make this pushy entitled kid relevant, but I was like no, the story could’ve easily been told without him, and I wish it had been; he’s a effing idiot.

Day 7 - Favorite game couple: Yuna and Tidus from FFX (hardest I ever cried playing a video game -- THE FEELS I TELL YOU).

Day 8 - Best soundtrack: I used to think it was Skyrim, but nope, it’s Witcher 1, 2 and 3. Just listen to ALL of the songs CDPR ever produced for the entire franchise, including all the unreleased tracks, and enjoy the eargasm.

Day 9 - Saddest game scene: Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice had me legit depressed for a good week. Get your tissues and holy water ready; it’s seriously effed up. The entire game is the saddest I ever played, jfc.

Day 10 - Best gameplay: Witcher 3, duh. Main quests, side quests, combat, dialogue, plot, graphics, worldbuilding, creatures, bosses, soundtrack, characters, Gwent, NEED I GO ON.

Day 11 - Gaming system of choice: Playstation for life. But the Nintendo Switch is effing brilliant, ngl; once they put Skyrim & The Witcher on it I was like SOLD.

Day 12 - A game everyone should play: At least ONE Final Fantasy game. There’s 15+, and Dissidia and Kingdom Hearts. It’s not just a game, it’s an experience.

As much as I rag on FF13 and FF15, they’re still admittedly LEAGUES better than a lot of other crap out there. I just happen to feel that Square Enix is out of its frikkin mind lately, and tbh I’ve been rapidly losing my hype for the FF7 Remake. I was never much of a FF7 fan to begin with, aside from being a rabid Sephiroth fangirl and watching Advent Children a billion times. But Square’s gotta be drunk as a skunk if they think I’m paying all that money for god knows how many of these effing “episodes” they’re gonna piecemeal us to dangit death with. HAYUL no. I’d rather not get too attached.

Day 13 - A game you’ve played more than five times:

Day 14 - Current (or most recent) gaming wallpaper: Huh?

Day 15 - What game are you playing right now: Speak of the devil, I’m replaying God of War for the zillionth time already.

Day 16 - Game with the best cut scenes: In terms of graphics and story impact IMO might be Red Dead Redemption 2. That game was frikkin gorgeous, and the story was SO DANG GOOD. Braithwaite Manor!? O_O

Day 17 - Favorite antagonist: For females it’s either Edea from FF8, or Yunalesca from FFX. For dudes it’s Sephiroth, from FF7. That man needs some serious counseling.

Day 18 - Favorite protagonist: Yuna from FFX for the ladies, and TW3′s Geralt of Rivia for the dudes. 

Day 19 - A game world you would like to live in: The more Middle Eastern-inspired scifi/steampunki-medievalesque world of Ivalice from FF12, or the medieval French/Swiss Toussaint from The Witcher 3: Blood and Wine.

Day 20 - Favorite genre: RPGs and JRPGs, and pretty much action-adventure games with swords and sorcery.

Day 21 - Game with the best story: Red Dead Redemption, which is a good thing and a bad thing. A lot of the time I felt I was watching a movie, rather than playing a game. But it was still an Oscar worthy movie. XD

Day 22 - A game sequel which disappointed you: Technically it hasn’t come out yet, but from what we’ve seen of the Nioh 2 beta release, omfg what’s going on? U_U Now, don’t get me wrong! Nioh 2 looks AMAZING. But....that’s cuz it looks exactly like Nioh 1, just with new yokai gameplay thrown in. o_O Uh...is this a DLC expansion pack or what? Cuz it sure ain't lookin like a full-fledged sequel! :P Dare I call it an asset flip. Come on, don’t do this; do MORE. Unless this is actually an expansion you’ll sell for half the price. ;)

Day 23 - Game you think had the best graphics or art style: For graphics it’s RDR2, but for most unique art style it’s always been Okami for me. <3

Day 24 - Favorite classic game: Spyro the Dragon. Their reboot for PS4 was AMAZING.

Day 25 - A game you plan on playing: Cyberpunk 2077. I’m so bummed, knowing the game’s been delayed to September 2020 instead of April, but oh well. As long as CDPR gives us that master-class level of Polish we all know and love from The Witcher 3, then take as much time as you need, I guess. At least they’re not like effing EA or Bethesda. XD

Day 26 - Best voice acting: BOY. Freaking iconic, Kratos. :P

Day 27 - Most epic scene ever: Ciri beating the absolute tastebuds outta Caranthir in TW3, not once but twice. Most OP Witcher EVER, girl; WERK.

Day 28 - Favorite game developer: Though I effing hate them, I’m still a Square Enix fangirl at heart. It’s just saddening to see this weird turn they’ve been making recently, with garbage like the Quiet Man, and especially with Final Fantasy, my favorite game series of all time. U_U I’m not looking forward to the FF7 Remake anymore, tbh. I just hope FF16 is more of a return to form.

Day 29 - A game you thought you wouldn't like, but ended up loving: Skyrim. I was never a big fan of Elder Scrolls games, and when Skyrim came out I was very meh at first. But then the mods started coming out for it and I was like wow. O_O

Day 30 - Your Favorite game of all time: Legend of Dragoon on PS1, Final Fantasy X on PS2, Skyrim on PS3/PC, The Witcher 3 on PS4, and The Sims on PC.

________________________________________________

Thanks for reading!

Quick! Top 10 best James TeamRocket episodes of all time and why are they good?

OH GOOD ASK TELLY. im actually gonna just to top 5 because i have too many feelings and putting them all in one ask makes me anxious haha.

5. DP153/The Treasure is All Mine! - bruh they really gave an homage to my favourite episode of pokeani smack dab in the middle of DP. god i lov this ep. i can’t believe they acknowledged james’ backstory in such detail so so late in the series and so far after his initial episode. mostly i love this episode because we actually get to see a lot of bby james living his life as a kid and it drops the BOMB that he actually did have feelings for his ex fiancee at one point, incredibly shallow ones that rode entirely on the fact that he thought she was pretty, and OH BY THE WAY SHE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE JESSIE BUT NO ROCKETSHIPPING BRO. i have too many feelings about this. also growlie was there i love growlie. also finally got jessie in disguise as jessebelle why’d that take so long??? i mean probably because the writers aren’t cruel enough to do that to james but yknow.

4. AG147/Sweet Baby James - god i just watched this episode for the first time in japanese and it’s so good. it’s so fucking good. i think my favourite thing about this episode is that it lets you know there were at least two more people looking out for james in his childhood. so he had them and his growlithe, which is a comforting thought. every time he starts talking abt his childhood i black out from heartbreak lol. i love this whole arc of the anime because james’ chimecho is arguably his favourite pokemon of all time and when he finally gets one he helicopter parents it to an extent that it’s kinda virtually useless from a story perspective (hence why it got written out so quick) and despite his obsession with protecting it from harm, it ends up getting so sick it can’t travel with him anymore. so even though it’s not explored there’s this underlying lesson he has to learn that no matter how much he loves something he can’t protect it from everything, and i think it would’ve been really cool if they had explored that more because in a way james is kind of perpetuating a cycle in how he was treated (sheltered, stifled, and locked away) on the closest thing he has to a child of his own. only instead of out of control and abuse, he makes that mistake out of love. again none of that is expanded upon in the episode, but this episode lays the GROUNDWORK for it, and i love that. it’s also really good how devoted he is to staying by its side, how easily he truces with team twerp and turns on his teammates for wanting to rob his estate & fuck everything up, and just how good of a person he is in this episode, owning up to his lies and staying true to himself. i rly think this episode is the rawest we ever get james? like this is him at heart, no facades, no fronts, just james as he is. i love that. i love him.

3. SM058/Fighting Back the Tears! - This episode belongs more to Mareanie than it does to James but upon rewatching it a few times I just gotta say: its good. Esp on a second rewatch. Mareanie does a lot of Questionable Things in the beginning of this episode u don’t understand until you know her backstory, and then once you do it hits twice as hard. Her and James have so many moments of quiet love together, talking one on one, and the way he speaks to her is with so much softness in his voice it quite literally rots my teeth out of my skull. There’s a lot of subtle callbacks to James’ own backstory that I’m downright ANGRY weren’t explored (Mareanie and James have the same backstory. They were both wronged by their first love and found a second chance in a partner who resembles those first loves. Despite being a direct parallel, THIS IS NEVER MENTIONED OR DISCUSSED??? POKEANI???) Oh and there’s whump & h/c. James is deathly poisoned at one point and his friends are at his bedside looking after him while he deliriously makes poor life choices. Also James fights a tentacruel w/ his bare fists. Also there’s a slutty bisexual crown of thorns starfish in this episode. a+. good episode. 

2. DP146/Dressed for Jess Success! - i’ll do the horny part first: fetish brain like sick girl oughghhghhhg jessie hot sexy. K ANYWAYS this is my second fave episode of all time. mostly for horny reasons but theres a lot of good shit happening that isn’t that. despite only ever posting abt jessie when i liveblog this episode it’s actually an episode about james and meowth and jessie doesn’t do much besides scream at her tv while on a lot of cold medicine. this episode is fucking hysterical to me because james is really really good at being in disguise as any old rando, melts into roles perfectly, and overall never sees any of that as a burden--but the SECOND he has to act as the literal woman he has spent the last 10+ years of his life with he freezes up and is like “I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING??? HELP” like he can’t fathom it. that is so fucking funny. like is he scared he’s gonna come home and jessie’s gonna shove him in a closet and scream at him for being ooc. the other thing thats good about this episode is james spends like 10 minutes slinking around the contest hall like “ughghghg im not a fucking coordinator meowth lets lose” and he then proceeds to eviscerate not only the competition but the literal heroine as well, i mean he just EVISCERATES dawn. he has almost full points when he beats her and she has NONE. he humiliates the poor girl. and he gets the loudest cheers the MC has ever heard. loud enough that jessie yells at him fsdghfsg “i don’t like that you as me got more applause than i as me!!!” LIKE JAMES IS SECRETLY A REALLY GOOD COORDINATOR... CAN WE PLEASE GET MORE OF JAMES IN CONTESTS. fuck i love this episode. did i mention jessie’s hot 

1. EP048/Holy Matrimony! - Like dude do I have to say any more about this episode... beyond being the quintessential Backstory Episode it has one of the most pivotal rocketshipping moments in it. The black comedy is so fucking good and makes you feel all kinds of weird for laughing and that is my favourite feeling of all. There’s a vileplume AND a growlithe, like thats a wombo combo of good pokemon. Everyone in the dub of this ep is blitzed off chaotic energy. Rachael Lillis does a steel magnolia accent for like 20 mins & they named her character after a biblical figure who gets eaten by wild dogs. I’m p sure Eric Stuart transcends his mortal form to make New Noises. This is the least objective part of this list because this is my favourite pokemon episode and I will take NO feedback or constructive criticism.