when i was in eighth grade one of our teachers had us do a first-day-of-class icebreaker where we went around the room and said our name and our favorite movie. i rarely saw movies that weren't 'ones we had in the house more suitable for eight-year-olds because i only had younger siblings and if we watched a movie at home it had to be something everybody could enjoy' and i didn't really go TO the movies often . or to friends houses to watch movies. my actual favorite movie at that age was mary poppins with julie andrews, which is a good movie, but was only my favorite because i had such a small reference pool. but the most recent movie i had seen was the first narnia film, so i said that one because i didn't want to be the only eighth-grader whose favorite movie was mary poppins

everybody else in class said their favorite movies were stepbrothers and pineapple express

July 8, 2023 12:14 am

10133,

Do you remember what happened the last time we fought over that guest room? I do. Down to the word, accompanied by every single gesture and your goofy smile, we repeated it. That night will never find itself produced again, however. Though the memories stay fresh in my mind, and oh how terrible it would be to see them fade, that was a much different time. Less than a year between then and now but there exists a contrast akin to that of one between decades. The delightfully cool, misty october morning air we awoke to has been switched with humid and hot july nights, I still have quite the taste for rather "asinine" memes though. My spot in bed, replaced with hers. You've come to realized that I could never provide you with the stablity that you so despreatly seak, in the romantic sense at least, I'll always be here. Sometime between then and now, you changed and I changed too. Like all young adults, we're simply trying to make our way through the fresh world that has been presented to us. Sometimes in the process, more realistically frequently, mistakes are made and I know we've both certainly made our share. I can't blame you though. I could never blame you and that truly is, quite possibly, one of my greatest flaws. Even after a rarther climatic finale, what should have been atleast, headlined by a devestatingly brutal betrayal, by the begining of the new year I'd came back. Rather simply, I'd missed my best friend and I couldn't stand to continue the charades any longer. Charades really had been a game I played so often with you. I'd get so angry with you, and for good reason too, but it always found a way to disapate much too quickly, especially considering what you'd done, and I'd have to continue with the angry front to satisfy what little moral compass I do possess. But then again, I really can't ever blame you.

There were times when I really did want you gone, wiped from the face of the earth with not a trace left. Hindsight is always twenty-twenty and I'm eternally grateful you stayed. And now we've made it to the present day, your final weekend.

In just over forty-eight hours, you'll be gone. Off to bleedin' Kansas (or is it Oklahoma?) with near complete radio silence for the next five months. A period of time in which I'll hold you as close in my heart as I hope you do me in yours. I can't bring myself to cry, at least not yet. The whole ordeal just doesn't feel real. The greatest ajustment will hit the group as a whole. To see someone so ingrained in our lives have to leave is quite a challenging experience. We've know it was coming, yes, but I've always thought it worse to possess the knowledge someone will leave than to have someone leave suddenly. Like a dark seceret that eats away at you until there is nothing left but the bare bones. You should know, I'm certain you do, there is a large collection of people, including many you wouldn't expect, that will miss you terribly. You won't be gone forever, quite thankfully, though that does not exempt me from experiencing a sort of bittersweet sadness. I am endlessly proud of you (the army is a huge thing!), but I'll miss you so terribly, just as I did when we'd get in our little squabbles.

We've really had quite the run together. Through all of the ups and downs and bumps in the road we've come out still friends on the otherside. Though some times may have been rather painful, I wouldn't trade a single experience for the world itself. Every single one has been absolutely instrumental in shaping us each into the wonderfully, slightly delinquent, people we have become today. If only one take away should be found within this letter, it should be that I love you, forever and always, to the moon and back. Don't be a stranger.

Your fellow christmas tree enthusiast,

[redacted]

Rokyoin love!!

Rokyoin ship chaos meme

Picrew: (warning for implied adult content on some of the options, the Rokyoin pic I made is completely pure, I promise lol) https://picrew.me/image_maker/208041

Who is more likely to do some shady stuff for the other?

First off, right off the bat I wanna remind you guys this pairing is a yandere x kuudere-yandere. Anyway, the answer is Rose. Yes, she does have a reputation she needs to keep up as a noble, but if it came to Kakyoin and his well being, she'd be willing to sacrifice anything for him.

Which one playfully calls the other a bitch and which one sarcastically calls the other an asshole?

Err... neither. That's not their thing. They'd rather just call eachother 'darling' and 'anata'.

Which one is more likely to purposefully act in a way that will make their partner jealous?

Neither. They have eachother. No one shall interfere, and that includes themselves.

Who is more petty / passive aggressive when they’re upset?

This is actually hard to answer because they don't really get into fights, just a disagreement here and there mostly. Well, considering the fact that not alot gets to Rose, and Kakyoin is the more emotional one, I'd have to say it'd be him. (Plus, you all saw poor Polnareff take the full brunt of his sass and annoyance in SDC. XD)

Which one is most likely to get into a fight on the other’s behalf

Equally both. They're both VERY protective of eachother and do whatever it takes to keep the other safe. Kakyoin would handle things with his stand, where as Rose would handle things in a more scary matter thanks to her stand not being fighting based. She'd rely on her own skills with a knife, or maybe even resort to poisoning if she's able to. After all, she knows all kinds of things about medicine. Let me make it clear though that they'd like to avoid killing if possible. It's a last resort for them.

Which one is the most likely to bail the other out of jail?

I can't see either of them ending up in jail, much less getting caught if they DO...do anything. So I'd have to say neither, because I just can't see it happening.

Who is more likely to initiate mischief of any kind? And does the other stand back and watch or try to stop them?

Kakyoin without a doubt. He may act well mannered and like the perfect honor student, but he's got a mischievous side to him, especially if it involves Polnareff or Jotaro. Rose won't stop him, she'll just stand back and enjoy watching the 'show'.

Which one purposefully annoys the other one to see how long it takes for them to snap?

Rose but only a little, she just likes to tease him to the point he gets embarrassed or flustered, and starts to resemble a cherry. She thinks it's adorable~

Which ones gets protective because ‘only I’m allowed to bully you!’

Well, neither really bullies the other lol. Honestly out of all my couples, they're the ones that would probably be deemed the so called 'perfect' couple at least on surface value.

Who is the one to apologize first when things are pushed too far

Kakyoin. Again, he's the more emotional one, and Rose will usually just get even more silent than usual and avoid contact if she's upset. Not to say she won't apologize if she does end up upsetting him, just I think if it came to getting mad at the other, it'd most likely be Rose towards Kakyoin. When they make up, they'll go back to acting like the 'perfect' couple and shower eachother in affection.

Who one ups the other when they proclaim their love? (”no I love you more” “No I love you more.”)

Both. They do this alllll the time and I'm not even kidding. They will have playful arguments like this everyday multiple times, and the winner is always different. Though alot of the time it ends in a tie, for neither of them want to give it up! If they really wanted to, they could probably argue about this for eternity.

BnHA One-Shot Fic Recs (pt2)

 I AM HERE! With more recs for you! The last post was all about DadMight, such a beautiful genre *wipes tear from eye* This time its DADZAWA! if you happen to follow me, you might know that i really really(really) love Aizawa. a lot. So im going to try to keep this to only 10 recs, but,, well,,,, we’ll see anyway leTS GO

Aches and Pains by Badwolf36 Rating: G     Category: Gen     ~2700 words Summary: In which Izuku isn't willing to admit how much pain he's in, and Mr. Aizawa is just as much of a softie for his students as he always is. I’m always SO WEAK to stories that deal with the very real consequences of breaking all of your bones. Poor Izuku. I enjoyed the details of how he’s feeling, the way that the reader’s awareness of his pain waxes and wanes along with Izuku’s (temporary distractions can only do so much, A+ for realism there). Also, soft Dadzawa while not mushy-ooc-Aizawa! Conclusion: I love this and also want Aizawa to make me hot cocoa when there’s storms and i cant sleep!! (sidenote, everytime i see this username my brain shorts out bc my old ff.net account was also Badwolf## lol)

My Neighbor Shouta-ro by Hound_of_Heaven Rating: G     Category: Gen     ~2,700 words Summary: Yamada Hizashi, on Christmas Eve of the year he turns 19, jokingly presents Aizawa Shouta, also 19, with a Totoro kigurumi. Everything that follows after is pure chance. Heeeeeeeeeck this is ADORABLE. I- You guys- this is so pure and so precious and so!! go read it, i died. such fluff.

constrained by my own mind (im not fine) by CamsthiSky (tumblr: @camsthisky ) Rating: G     Category: Gen     ~1,500 words Summary: Midoriya Izuku is a problem child, and for some reason, Aizawa Shouta cares too much to let him fend for himself when the kid is obviously dealing with something First of all this is written by one of my fav Batfam writers!!! I was so hype when i saw this posted and OF COURSE IT WAS JUST AS WONDERFUL IF NOT MORE SO THAN I EXPECTED!!!! A+++++ in character for both Izuku and Aizawa. Izuku is jumpy and anxious and stressed and i love it. That the way Izuku started out, and while i am eternally happy at how much his life and social reactions have already changed, stuff like that doesnt just disappear in even a year, so I love fics that address that and expound on all the progress that he would have to make behind the scenes. and having Aizawa as the catalyst to begin getting actual help? *chef’s kiss* This checks boxes and then proceeds to cover the page in checkmarks LOL

remember from here on in by aloneintherain (tumblr: @captainkirkk ) Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~8000 words warning: spoiler heavy from manga chp 215 Summary: Aizawa glances from All Might to Midoriya quickly. It sounds impossible—he’s never heard of a quirk that can be handed down like a family heirloom—but at the same time, it makes perfect sense. Midoriya’s inability to use his quirk at the start of the year. The strange, familial relationship between All Might and Midoriya. The slow malnourishment of All Might’s body, like his power was being siphoned away. “You’re …” Aizawa begins.“I’m All Might’s successor.” Midoriya’s proud but shaky voice rings clearly down the empty corridor. Aizawa finds out about One for All. Awwwwwwww yiiiiiiiissssssssss!!!!! reveal fic!!!! one of my all time fav tropes!!! Plus it expounds on some future theorys/possibilities(Spoilers!!!) and you get some great interactions between Izuku and Shinsou, and plenty of opportunities taken to wear out our already worn out catepillar-sensei. poor guy needs a break but would do anything for these kids. Incredible characterization, great feels!!

Those Hardest to Love Need it Most by DancingintheStorm Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~8,200 words Summary: Shouta gripped the phone tight enough to make the phone case groan. “So it’s true. Midoriya was Quirkless.”“Until soon before the entrance exam,” Nedzu confirmed. “That’s not relevant now, though, because—““Relevant?” Shouta hissed. “Midoriya is barely functional, socially. He doesn’t trust any adult. He thinks the whole world hates him. He apologizes for everything except breaking the law, and I’m sure I can trace every single one of those things back to his Quirklessness. You call that irrelevant?”  Aizawa visits Aldera Junior High and finds out some disturbing truths. Yes. Just. Yes. Righteous anger abounds, local anxiety-child is told for the first time that his life has worth, more at 10 (I LOVE THIS ONEEE)

The Gaunlet and friendships and how memes tie the two together by averypassionateperson Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~3,500 words Summary: Shinsou walks into his first day in the Hero Course hoping to get politely ignored. He walks out having gotten into a sanctioned fistfight with the entire Bakusquad and a whole lot of new friendships. Also, memes are responsible for most of this. This fic is SOOOOOOOOO much fun. Always sure to bring a smile and honestly all I could want from a fic about Shinsou’s first day in 1A!!!

like light through a window by achievingelysium   (tumblr: @queenangst ) Rating: T     Category: Gen     1,139 words Summary: The first time Shouta sees what Hagakure looks like, it’s because she’s covered in blood. Coming from one of the best Dadzawa writers around, is a delightfully haunting fic centered on Hagakure!! The Dazawa is of course, spot on, the premise makes your heart ache as it plays out like a movie in your mind. So smooth to read, while so emotionally painful. Ouch. It is a fic with imagery that has stuck in my mind like a plant with deep roots, bc i keep thinking about it despite my too-much-fanfic-reading-adhd-muddled-brain. I feel like i had more to say but tumglr erased the paragraph i had originally written. D:   (side note, as i am keeping these posts to 10 fics... this fic came from her series of 30 min fics which you can find here on tumblr ao3  its an absolute goldmine of one-shots, go check it out)

a frozen pond, dark and deep by walking_through_autumn Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~3,800 words Summary: In the aftermath of Endeavour's battle against High End, Aizawa escorts Todoroki to his home for special leave, and they have a conversation that has been long in the making. (Or: Over two car rides and the mystery known as bubble tea, Aizawa divulges information, Todoroki returns the favour, and trust is built over unexpected similarities.) This fic felt just as quiet as the two characters it surrounds, which was really nice. Even deep emotional grieving can be quiet, since everyone feels things and reacts to things differently. It was a brilliant way to chip away at these character’s walls to let light shine through without creating an earthquake event to destroy the walls completely, you know? and it works off of canon so well. ah yes seeing the process of Aizawa realizing that hes has adopted another child is my fav    anyhow i enjoyed it very much!

but still my heart is heavy (with the hate of some other man’s beliefs) by honeyandsunshine Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~3,500 words Summary: Nemuri jerks a thumb to the side window, presumably the one with the best view of the front gates. When Shouta looks, a small crowd, all of which he can recognize from his class, are gathered around a sleazy looking man with a camera and a microphone. Half their quirks are activated. Bakugou and Todoroki are smoking. From the bushes nearby, a rather enraged stag emerges. As he gets up, Shouta just hopes they haven’t already killed him. Or:Class 1-A defends their own. Aizawa suffers, but looks after them anyways. I love how this doesn’t go the way you expect it to. and how much Aizawa loves and trusts his class full of gremlin heroes. The Dadzawa is so soft, his logic is sound, my heart aches, and i kinda want to cry. really, really, really great you guys

bend, don’t break by heyhamlet (tumblr: @hey-hamlet ) Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~4,100 words Summary: It started, as it always seemed to, on what was supposed to be a pleasant day. ---A Christmas shopping attempt gone wrong, Aizawa and Midoriya have to survive a strange nightmare quirk, all while trying to work out how to get out of there alive. Aizawa is injured, Midoriya is panicked. It's less a question of what could go wrong, but more what could go right. Another fic that has not left my soul since i read it. Some of it is truly terrifying in a way that I hope never haunts my own nightmares. and honestly isnt that reason enough to read it? While near death experiences bond people together well, nothing beats being trapped with someone in a nightmare that is feeding off of your deepest fears! If Aizawa wasn’t considering adoption before, he certainly is now. Found family before the monster finds you...0.o go read it, its a treat from another top notch writer!

well, thats 10! the next post will probably be misc. bnha one-shots. Enjoy and don’t forget to give the writers your souls love and comments!

{you know the meme}

The ficus stares him in the face with a thousand years of dread judgment.

It knows.

“I said I wasn’t gonna,” he mutters in its general direction.

Had been a thought, but once it was assured that this was, in fact, a real plant…well, it’s just immensely thoughtless to go pissing on plants. Probably worse if they’re potted, even if he can’t say why that would be, it’s not like unpotted {is that even a term…} ones are capable of getting up and moving either. No, it’s just a bad thing all together, pissing on plants.

But it’s also a bad thing to have to explain to Beth when she gets out of the shower that the police are at the hotel because there may or may not have been an incident involving indecent exposure and-his train of thought temporarily stalls on the tracks at wondering what sort of exposure was decent. Legally. If there’s indecent, that implies there is the opposite, decent.

“Prob'ly strippers.”

He’s muttered this to the plant again, with a noncommittal shrug, as though the plant may have a better idea it can suggest. If it does, it does not share it with him. But then, he wouldn’t share it either if he knew the plant had been intending to pee on him, so it’s acceptable.

He also might be slightly more drunk than usual. Not that things like conversing with plants and wondering about decent vs indecent exposures is irregular for him. Particularly not when alone, and that he is. Save for the plant.

Technically, Beth is here too, but the suite really is rather large, and she’s in the bathroom. That makes it feel like being in a house when someone else is in another room. He’s functionally alone.

Well, no…no, there is another very active presence, and though it indeed be haunting, it isn’t that sort of Presence. It’s the immense mistake of not realizing he had to pee before Beth left, then making it worse by trying not to fixate on this mistake after she had. He is rather horrible at doing the opposite of fixating on literally anything while trying not to do exactly that, it’s a bit of a promise that he is going to fail spectacularly…and he is.

Additionally, he is intoxicated enough to officially be on Drunk Time, and Drunk Time is like no other expanse of time. It might have been five minutes or two hours or yesterday that she left. He is only certain that this span of time has included having a cigarette, contemplating the plant, contemplating hitting unfortunate human targets below the balcony, talking to the plant, and continuing to drink. Just a little bit. It was obviously necessary, to…pass the time.

It hasn’t helped to pass the time, only to make the issue more present, and with the plant giving no new ideas, there truly is only one.

So, he’s at the bathroom door, and wondering why the fuck it is that he isn’t alright with simply going on a stealth mission here. Really, it’s extremely possible, in his mind and only his mind, that he’d get away with it. And…he…just can’t. At least this sort of ridiculous behavior, and the combined honesty and respect for her that tends to drive it, means that he isn’t at all lying when he comes tentatively creeping through the steam. Eyes closed, mouth open and going.

“Sorry, Beth, swear I ain’t lookin’ an not even like, listenin’ close. Just really, serious'ly gonna die if I don’t piss ‘mediately, an not inna plant, talked to the plant, it agrees that’s not cool.”

~*~

Squeaky Clean || -

Presenting a paper to the medical community, and in particular members of the CDC, on infectious diseases suffered by indigent people especially in areas where hurricanes decimate resources, fresh water, and shelter… is a rewarding and somewhat terrifying prospect. Beth knows very well how to speak properly in social circles the likes of which she might compare to a feeding frenzy of various shark slews, and academically she has a reputation for being a thoughtful and respected voice for the less fortunate. It is one of the things she takes pride in, actually making a difference where the Admiral only pretends to. He practices a very different kind of medicine, and belongs to a world that Beth has never been comfortable in, doesn’t want to be a part of, and refuses at every opportunity. The old man would be utterly appalled that not only had she taken in a 'young wastrel’ which is the politest thing he would say about Anakin, but gave him a job, a stable roof, was determined to see him be better off than his current situation would allow. Or that she’d drag him along on this trip, booking a single suite for them both. But truth be told, there’s more to it than appearances would suggest.

She doesn’t even know if Anakin himself really understands. Beth hates flying. She had never done very well with heights, something she’d learned as a kid when she tried practising cliff-diving. The air plane ride to the mainland when she was sixteen had been a nightmare and she’d been sick the entire ten hour, non-stop flight from O'ahu to JFK airport, in New York. He tried books, he tried singing to her, he’d tried music and in flight movies, he tried medicating her with drinks. Eventually he could do nothing but hold back her hair as she continuously expelled all of her stomach contents, rubbed her back when it was nothing but dry-heaving. Eventually, she simply curled up in her seat and leaned into him, too exhausted to be okay, too terrified to sleep. He rubbed small circles against her back and promised she never had to fly again. And then he ran off to join the Air Force, and jumped out of planes for a living. That was something about her brother that Beth could never understand even if he could have explained it to her.  She had sat on the lanai, trying to decide if she was brave enough to chance the Louis Armstrong airport ~ ~ “MSY.” Anakin’s grin had sprawled slowly across his lips and his head had dipped down, though she had been certain it was to watch Bug nap in a sunbeam.

Or to take a chance on one of the family’s private planes over at Metairie~

~"Metry...on the Big Ass Lake.” She hadn’t been sure if that was Anakin’s specific drawl or if she’d simply been mispronouncing that word the entire time she’s been here {which, honestly was more likely} because it looked like Met-prairie to her.

But even on the sofa, even with him reading his book ~a dog-eared and margin-notation copy of Ovid’s Metamorphosis~ on the opposite side of it, feet buried under her leg, she hadn’t been able to bring herself to book the flight.

Instead, she’d looked over, a little green around the gills, and in a surprisingly tremulous voice, she’d asked him if he’d be okay going on a road trip with her. After all, it was only a seven to eight hour drive, including stops to stretch, use the facilities, and food. She added to that the fact that she’d feel safer driving through that bit of Mississippi and almost diagonally across Alabama just to get there, if he would be willing to escort her.

There’d been discussion about what to do with Bug, and what not to do, which largely consisted of Anakin not really wanting to leave him on his lonesome and Beth arranging for the nurses to take turns {and hazard pay} to ensure meal times were kept to their schedule, and their housekeeper to ensure companionship and play time. And of course the discussion he had with Bug which she was politely not privy too, but she would have given anything to actually have heard even snippets of conversation.

And now, a few days later, here they are.

The humidity and heat in Atlanta is very different from that of New Orleans, which in Beth’s mind is more like home, where here it’s...sticky. A thin film of sweat has been clinging to her since their arrival in the wee hours when by all rights it should have been cooler at the very least. Because of the conference, she’d had to book them a single suite and though she’d apologise profusely, she didn’t think Anakin was very heart-broken about it. The air conditioner in the room had been running and it wasn’t so bad when they’d finally set their bags down.

Beth ordered breakfast from room service, had given Anakin that look, and like the rumoured pirates in her ancestry {sea-wooves, she called them not recognising her mispronunciation} had plundered the full bar. Miniatures were things one gave away to adults come Halloween, and full-size bottles were specifically requested. So it was drinks on the balcony and pastries, fluffy omelettes, and a very sudden urge to sleep.

She’d pressed a strawberry and Merlot kiss to his forehead and had only enough grace to fall onto her side of of the king bed, clothes and all. Which didn’t really help the situation. She also didn’t know how long Anakin had stayed up and what he’d consumed during that time. The moral of the story being she needs this shower. And there’s enough trust and enough love between them that she doesn’t think twice about leaving the door slightly ajar in case he needs the facilities. And maybe she stays in a little too long, letting the near volcanic temperature of the water ease away at her muscles in a haze of tropical scented soap, shampoo, conditioner.

She didn’t know that the ficus was a traitor. Or a victim. Or that it would eventually be going home with them.

She finds herself grinning when he makes his apologies and his platitudes.  “...’S’fine, really. I trus’ you an’ besides...I promise no have any kine ya nevah seen before. Because we’re ‘way from home, an’ sleepers...all ovah da place here. Worse dan haole summers back home, worse dan deer tick. An’ maybe ya plant wiser dan all of dem put togeddah.”  She hates that she’s suddenly become an Awakened psa, a reminder that they have to be on their best behaviour and any magick has to be disguised under the auspices of coincidence.

“Still got an eternity of hot waddah if ya wanna come in an’ grab a shower f’ yaself. But I’ll knife fight ya ovah dis loofah.”

I get blends of innocent beans confused with what queer coding is or isn’t, and malignant beans misappropriating points, so we’re gonna do a quick run through.

Queer coding started as a malignant thing. The truest use of the phrase “queer coding” came from stereotypes and villainizations that straight people found sCaRy. This is like, why Scar seemed classically flamboiyant, or a variety of Disney villains were long, lanky, gestured exaggeratedly, wore eyeliner, etc. There’s a million examples but I’m not going to cover them all because I think you get what I mean. At the time, straight culture was painting gays as bad so painting villains as how straights perceived gays was like, super useful, cuz it creeped the straights out oOOoooOOo.

When people talk about queer coding enforcing stereotypes, if you’re talking about the original form of queer coding, this is inherently true. However, coding reached other levels, and has adaptive forms.

For example, watching (as I’ve been mocked for saying 10,000 times, but because it’s needed) The Celluloid Closet will clear up a lot for you. Subversive queer coding is when queer creators use a great deal of things to communicate with a queer audience past censorship. The film documentary (if you can’t read the book -- which I understand, it’s difficult to find) clears a whole fuckton of this up.

There’s some things that, quite frankly, we as gays know as part of our language. It is what it is. While it’s not a stereotype, it’s quite literally a language I highly warn straights against stepping into, because then they flounder around confused on what’s our actual language and what’s a stereotype

A truly innocent bean asked of me yesterday, well why then is menthols fair subversive queer coding? How is that not a stereotype?

Well like, because it’s facts. And that’s really, really hard to wrap ones’ head around from an outsider straighty perspective or even someone who’s queer but trapped heavily in a hetnorm world outside of where this is visible and/or in the wrong demographic otherwise. A black person who hangs out with black people of all orientations is not going to blink at a media dude getting menthols generally, because it’s one of the cultures that statistically engages in it to the point of memes about Kools or whatever. That’s not my culture, I can’t comment on much beyond that, but it’s just something to take note of.

But even if you don’t want to take someone’s word on “no, seriously, white dudes smoking menthols is queer culture and literally like a great sign for a hookup to another queer white dude”, google the various intersections of gender and menthol, race and menthol, and sexuality and menthol.

This isn’t pulled out of thin air. These were populations quite literally heavily targeted by Big Tobacco and, by nature, are the ones that smoke it, whereas Big Tobacco put(s) on airs of masculinity and chick-magnetness to smoke good ol non-menthol shit. It’s literally marketing. Yes, it does literally impact who buys product and yes, it does after generations have a noticeable affect. Track the numbers I told you to google down and you’ll realize less than 3% of menthol smokers identify as straight white men (depending on the way the numbers sort out and the year of polling, often 1.x%, 3% is the liberal number).. Lemme tell you, on the street, that’s an “okay, honey :)” when you do find it. Maybe a little pat on the head. An invisible brochure for Welcome To The Gays.  Like, White Men make up more than 31% of America and they still refuse to tally more than 25% of the US as queer [some censuses as low as 6% and LOL] so like-- that should be like minimum 25% of dudes available and nope, 1-3%)

(that’s not to say all gays or even all white gays smoke menthol, but this is that rule of “not all fingers are thumbs, but all thumbs are fingers” in loose application.)

But understanding these things, these signals, from the outside is utterly flabbergasting to people.

No, someone making an immasculating joke is not subversive queer coding. No, a dude wearing a certain kind of shirt or eating a certain kind of food generally isn’t queer coding (Unless it’s a rainbow flag BITCH IM GAY shirt, or uh, maybe for food quiche or hummus? I mostly joke for the latter two, but that’s the kind of self ball punching queer community sometimes does to itself in awareness that yes, there ARE elements. No, eating hot dogs and burritos isn’t gay. Yes, we make make penis jokes. No, that isn’t itself queer coding.)

When a queer author codes a piece, it’s designed to communicate to the resonant audience. It also may not communicate to /all/ gays. The language of a middle aged cis gay man that lived through the AIDS crisis is a whole other fuckin adventure from the language of 17 year old trans gays squatting behind their Xbox, it’s just fact, it’s just what is. Completely different cultures and lives being lived, completely different experiences resulting. A few things here or there may connect across generations but some shit that’s written by a gen Z gay is gonna whiff by a boomer gay, sorry. Also just facts.

Explaining exactly what is and isn’t queer coding is almost impossible beyond the fact that “if you don’t get it, it’s probably not for you.” -- At the same time, that leaves the problematic room of people taking that grey area and packing in a bunch of shit and we’re back to ground zero on the original problematic queer coding.

I once read a meta of uh-- I’ll just say, [Fantasy Character]. The fantasy character had an addiction problem that gave them villain-like attributes. Someone implied the “villain coding” made it queer coding. Okay like. Fucking absolutely not. Because if the show in question WAS doing that, first off, that’s literally the kind to make mockeries of gay people so you literally shouldn’t be reaching for that and second off they’d be doing that lanky sassy bitch with eyeliner bullshit like Disney villains with it, give or take. You don’t apply this shit in reverse, “he has villain attributes and so he’s gay” is literally the worst possible angle to take a discussion while trying to slap fight in a representation arena. Like I can’t say enough DO NOT DO THIS SHIT. 

If you wanna write fic or headcanon whoever as gay or whatever have fun but like once people keep trying to talk about “coding” you’re talking about conscious elements inset by the authors. Does a character have a bunch of on the record sexual encounters that just happen to include dudes persistently even if we don’t exactly get the exact angle or Proof Of Dicking? That’s gay (also depending on the phrasing, as settled in older stuff, that’s just deadass queer text and settled long before this fandom ever had pissing matches about this shit in older cinema.) Does the character happen to be respectful and use like gender neutral pronouns on people? Sorry folks that unto itself isn’t gay, that’s gays writing allies at best, unless you can give specific and directly applicable situations relevant to the character rather than eternally vague blogging through and swearing up and down it’s just about their partners or some shit. Yelling it in general though, sorry, no. 

Does the character engage in things or events with non-het gendered partners that in the very least are heavily coded into the areas of relationships even if they’re unclear (eg, do they routinely go out with non-family people and hold deep or meaningful conversations in things that LOOK like a date, even if nobody SAYS it’s a date) -- congrats, you have coded text. Alone it could even be queerplat stuff, depending on the suprastructure of the plot, text, subtext and everything else around it (same way, gasp, a man and a woman can sit at a table and not necessarily be in a relationship, but if they’re trading courting gifts and having unique and powerful exchanges or have big like, “the heart is the thing that binds us together uwu” shit, we all figure out what the fuck is going on like grown assed adults.)

It’s easier to list things that are NOT subversive queer coding:

Insults against gay people

Immasculating commentary

Random foods short of it deadass being a gay author making fun of some gay meme shit in some gay equivalent of ‘right in front of my salad’

Favorite colors or clothing

---

We got it? Good. Rule of thumb though. Deadass unless you are involved in some thick-ass queer culture don’t try to queer code shit. I don’t even care if you’re queer yourself because that doesn’t mean you’ve actually been subject to the culture in a meaningful way. There’s 30 year old bis that grew up in white picket fence suburbias on top of trust funds with hovercraft parents guiding them through 17 degrees and keeping them out of party culture that married a het-passing relationship and settled down and started having babies and their grasp of queer culture ends at what they perceive out of memes online, if they even hover in actual queer crowds online at all as much as general ones. That person literally is not going to speak much of the language. They aren’t. At best they’ll speak the language of 30 year old trust fund het-married bisexual mothers which, I mean yeah, technically some queer language but that’s a very, very fucking niche experience path right there compared to street-dwelling club-goers that attend pride, hold D&D parties with all their coworkers they figured out are gay on the weekend, occasionally brick a window in a riot. The latter is gonna have a far more diverse queer experience. And by such, a far more diverse queer language.

That’s not even to gatekeep. 30 year old trust fund het-passing-marriage bi-mom is in fact bi. So yeah, they’re queer. But we’re talking about language and culture, which is related to but not something you inherit. It comes by lives and experiences.

And I think this is where a LOT of the fucked up early Queer Coding fuckery comes from in discourse. Yes we have a language. Hell, to some extent a few things might even kinda BE stereotypes but there’s a certain amount of living and being where you know the difference between “this is a stereotype made by straight people villainizing us that has no idea what we’re fucking like” or “this is a stereotype born out of mass marketing that targeted and victimized then imprinted on an entire population that we’ve come to recognize among ourselves.” Or even “this is a stereotype but FUCK YES it’s one we embrace, go get fucked, straights.” And it’s not NEARLY as ambiguous as fandom circle jerks try to make these things out to be in the interest of wanting every interpretation to be valid or every character to be gay or not wanting to admit some person may know what the fuck they’re talking about more than they do. 

Huge point on that last one though, because like. I’ve seen some angry straights that are pissy about the show try to throw wrenches in the gears by concern trolling as if in defense of the gays about “offensive queer coding” and most of the time they’re basically that “how do you do fellow kids gays” meme. “How do you do gays I am very concerned about *checks notes* the twitters talking about gay men walking fast” and half the time turn around like two tweets later like “besides the character doesn’t even have a lisp anyway” or some bullshit that is outright offensive ass stereotyping while they’re out here trolling over the fact that a gay man admits to diva worship as a cultural trait.

General rule of thumb: ask a queer culture immersed gay about queer coding.

Shipping culture in the blue hellsite is not queer culture, for the record. Even if a bunch of queerfolk are in it.

Thanks.

Sincerely,

A very tired gay

Survey #284

“mama, we’re all full of lies / mama, we’re meant for the flies”

When was the last time you changed a lightbulb? About a month or so back I had to change Venus’ heat lamp. Who was the last person you sent an e-mail to? I emailed my older sister the OneDrive link to her holiday pictures I did. When was the last time you visited the dentist? What about the optician? It’s been quite a few months since I went to the dentist for a normal cleaning. I haven’t seen an eye doctor in around a year or so because it’s a less pressing matter, and we can’t afford to buy me new glasses anyway. I desperately need them. Do you sleep on your side, your back or your front? My side, stomach, or like a contortion of both. Would you rather drive or be the passenger? Let me be shotgun controlling the music and I’m set for a long ride. When was the last time you received a handwritten letter? Sara sent me one I think two years ago for my birthday. If you have pets, do you buy them gifts for Christmas or their birthdays? Ha, yes. We don’t know either’s exact birthday though, so we don’t really “celebrate” those. Do you know how to ride a bike? How about ride a skateboard? A bike, yeah. I don’t know how to skateboard, though. Did you get enough sleep last night? How much sleep is enough sleep for you? No. I don’t even know what “enough sleep” is. I’m always tired. What are your favourite condiments? Do you use those often? Ketchup and honey mustard probably top the list, considering they’re the ones I use most. Peanut butter: crunchy or smooth? Do you have a favorite brand? I trust no one who can enjoy crunchy peanut butter. I like Skippy quite a bit. Do you have any life-threatening allergies? No. Have you had to take a COVID test yet? Was it positive or negative? I haven’t needed to take one. Do you think it’s okay to keep cats indoors for their entire lives? They SHOULD be. Cats are very destructive and disruptive predators of once-stable environments. They fuck up the food chain and have done a lot of damage to native populations. This is coming from a person whose house was an absolute NEST for cats to the point they were taken away. They lived outside, and I can only imagine the harm they really caused. Of course, as a kid, I didn’t understand this, but as an educated and experienced adult when it comes to this subject, it’s saddening to look back on. Please, keep your cats inside. AND FIXED. Hence our cat empire lmao. Do you think people should need a license in order to keep animals, just to make sure they knew how to properly take care of them? That would actually be LOVELY. If only. Not that it would entirely prevent illegal ownership, but I like to think most people are law-abiding citizens… Which meal of the day is your favorite? What’s your favorite thing to eat for that meal? BREAKFAST! Cinnamon rolls just gotta top the list. When was the last time you bounced on a trampoline? Would you ever want to go to one of those indoor trampoline parks? It has to have been so, so many years. My knees could NEVER take that now. I’m not interested in that. What’s your favorite thing to put on a baked potato? Butter, American cheese, and bacon bits… yum. Have you ever made money selling stuff online? What was it you were selling? I don’t think so, at least not successfully. Do you have a valid passport? When was the last time you used it? No. What was the last song you sung along to? I’m unsure. I rarely sing along to songs. What was the last piece of fruit you ate? What about the last vegetable? Fruit: apple. Vegetable: ummm I’m actually unsure. Probably broccoli. Have you ever lied to the police or a customs official? Were you ever found out? No. Are you much of a procrastinator, or would you rather get things out of the way so you can relax? I am a HEAVY procrastinator. When was the last time you took an exam of any kind? I don’t know. Probably not since I was in school. What snacks/drinks from your childhood do you wish they still made? Ah man, I know there’s some… just too many to dig through to try and remember. Are you a fan of techno? Yeah, sometimes. Who's your favorite horror movie villain/monster? I don’t particularly like one over the other. What's an 'obsession' of yours that most people would find odd or amusing? Probably how much I love Mark, given that being a “fangirl” is usually seen as juvenile. What's the sweetest thing another person has said or done for you? Probably Colleen letting me live with her while I was homeless for a month or two. Said to me, actually from Colleen’s sister; I was having a crying episode over Jason and she just grabbed my head and told me with such passion that I was so beautiful, strong, and deserved the world. Safe to say I started crying more lmao but at least it wasn’t from sadness. What's the absolute best feeling in the world? Being in love. Does the person you have feelings for know you feel that way? Yeah. Do you like Tim Burton? Um, duh. How do you feel about hypnotism? I don’t believe it works. It’s just the power of suggestion. How do you feel about Pink Floyd? I’m not a big fan, but I like some songs. What’s your preferred way of keeping fit? Is it something you make time to do on a regular basis? You assume I AM fit… but I really am trying to change that with WiiFit again, once the living room is cleaned up. I plan to insert it into my morning routine. Have you ever raised a puppy? Would you want to or would you prefer to adopt an adult rescued dog? Yes, Teddy. Right now I don’t want another dog, but hypothetically, I’d absolutely go for an adult rescue. Who was the last person to come to your house? Were they an expected visitor? My younger sister. Yes. If you work, is your job the same everyday, or does it vary depending on what you have on? N/A Would you ever be interested in owning your own business? Why or why not? Well, I want to be a freelance photographer, so… It’s not off the ground enough for me to *officially* call it a business, but while it’s absolutely so exciting to picture, it’s also very anxiety-inducing, the idea of it (hopefully) getting to that point since I’m dumb as fuck in regards to business stuff. Do you have your driver’s license? If so, did you find it easy or difficult to learn and pass your test? Ugh, I don’t. I need it so badly, I know, but right now, I couldn’t even if I wanted to because my vision is too bad to possibly pass that part, and I can’t afford to see an eye doctor + get a new prescription. If you have pets, how often do you buy them new treats and toys? Venus is a snake, so… yeah, lol. She needs a bigger terrarium, though, but a 40 gallon is expensive. Roman gets a new toy every now and then, but he doesn’t play with them as much anymore. If you had to work a job that required you to do shifts, would you rather work the early, late or night shift? Early. Get it over with. Do you have a favorite type of survey to take? Yeah; I like the ones that make me think or are just questions I definitely haven’t seen before but are also interesting. Some random questions are way too specific to apply to most people. On a typical day, how long do you spend out of the house? Even before the pandemic, usually zero time. Do you live in a close-kit community? Well we’re the new family on the block, so it’s hard to tell quite yet. People were welcoming, though. Do you have a vlog? NOOOOOOOOOO. If not, have you ever considered starting a vlog? No, I would feel WAY too fuckin awkward. Did you go to AM or PM kindergarten? AM. What are your favorite YouTube channels to watch? The whole world knows Markiplier is my true favorite channel, but lately I’ve really been digging pet (particularly reptile or tarantula) channels, Snake Discovery in specific. I’ve been bingeing the fuck outta them. I’ve officially become the “I know more than you” Petco meme lmao. Which relative(s) do you look the most like? Idk. Have you ever watched a live birth video? FUCK no. I never would. That could be so fucking scarring to middle school kids, for Christ’s sake. I’ve never understood why they show them in a lot of health classes. Have you ever given birth? Fuck to the no; never plan to, either. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? Nah. Have you ever worn overalls? Ugh, as a kid. They’re so hideous to me now. If you’re a girl, how old were you when you started your period? I was in the 6th grade, so 11-12. Is your mom mentally stable? I mean she has depression, but otherwise, yeah. What color hair did your first crush have? I can’t really remember who my first crush was with certainty… but I think I might. If I’m right, blond. What was the name of your first crush? ^ in minds, I think Aaron. Did you ever play on Mamamedia.com? Doesn’t ring a bell. Do you remember your first email address? Haha, yeah, it’s still my current one… Did you name your Lego characters? I was more of a Lincoln Logs kid. Do you take medication for anxiety or depression? Both. If so, does it work? Does it help you? Or does it make you feel worse? I’d probably be dead without at least my mood stabilizers. Have you ever had a bag stolen? I don’t believe so. Who was your best friend in high school? Hannia. What book or movie gave you nightmares as a child? Ha, no books or movies, I think, but remember King Ramses from that episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog? Oh, trust me, I HAD NIGHTMARES. What song makes you cry? The most, probably “Eternally Yours” by Motionless In White. I physically cannot listen to it. Does anyone know who your first crush was besides you? Maybe Mom? Idk. How many teachers have you had crushes on? None. Did you make your Barbie dolls get crushes on each other? I actually don’t remember? I don’t think we had any male Barbies, and of course as a little kid raised in the South especially, I didn’t even realize homosexuality was a thing, so we never considered the girls dating. Did your Barbie dolls go on dates? ^ How old were you when you had your first kiss? 16. Do you have scars from self-harm? No, they’re long faded and were thankfully never very severe. Did your hair change at all when you went through puberty? Yep, it gradually turned brown. Are you taller, shorter, or the same height as your mom? We’re the same height. Would you ever consider adopting a child? I don’t want kids, period. The only possible case I see is being a stepmom, but even then I can’t visualize me being one to an actual kid-kid. Just like, maybe a mid-teen and above. Do you trim your own hair? No. What are all the things you remember being for Halloween? I’m very surprised that I don’t remember many at all. I know I was a witch multiple times. What was the name of the first pet that you loved? I adored almost every pet my family has ever had. Our first was a stray cat named Chance we took in. INCREDIBLE animal. What color was your nursery? I have zero clue. Do you exercise regularly? Ugh, no, but I genuinely plan on changing that once the living room is cleaned up and Mom moves into her room. I’m very serious about starting Wii Fit again. I WAS gonna start walking once we moved here, but I found I was too scared to alone. I’m way too paranoid. Do you have a healthy BMI? lol What photo editing software do you use? Lightroom, Photoshop, and very rarely PhotoScape if I’m being lazy with watermarking my photography. Do you live somewhere with lots of livestock or wild animals? Livestock, yeah. You pass cows all the time around here. If you’re in a more wooded area, you’ll find roadkill kinda frequently, sadly. Would you rather live somewhere rural or urban? Rural. It’s the only thing that sucks about our new home – we’re in the suburbs. Is there anything (a hobby, for example) that’s guaranteed to always make you feel better when you’ve had a bad day? Not 100%, really. If the day was truly awful, sometimes nothing helps. If you’re struggling with your mental health, who are you most likely to open up to, or would you bottle it up instead? I vent to my mom the most. What room of your house do you spend the most time in? Is this through choice or necessity? My room, and it’s by choice. The second room that I wanna make my “office” is still LOADED with stuff from moving. If you could design your own garden, what would you have in it? Do you think that dream is ever going to be achievable for you? I don’t want a garden. Does it take you a long time to fall asleep at night? What do you if you’re really struggling to get to sleep? It can take me very, very long. I dread lying down some nights just because I know I’ll be tossing and turning for a good while. If I’ve tried to sleep for a long time to no avail, I do what you shouldn’t do and get back on the laptop. Do you think it’s cruel when people keep exotic animals as pets? Or do you think it’s okay as long as they have the space, time and money to dedicate to them? This depends on the animal and situation. I do believe some rescue cases are justified for the animal’s survival, but as the question mentions, you need to be able to provide adequately for it to be moral imo. I do NOT support exotic pet ownership for the average person. If you eat meat, is there a particular animal you’d never eat? If you don’t eat meat, what’s the reason for it? I could never eat a “pet” animal, nor an animal hunted mostly for sport. Even in survival cases, I’d have a hard time eating a wild animal.

“Why” tags are going here because Tumblr’s a baby who can’t handle all these words at once. :P

Why:

#but i spent my whole life absolutely CONVINCED that wings belonged on my body. it just... tok me a good long while to figure out Why.

#Oh THAT'S why everyone's freaking out over that post.

#at first I was like ''Wow this is Srentha to the core!'' And then I read ''why this unreasonable answer at the sight

#honestly this is why i'm basically addicted to empty-mind meditation?

#??? why do people do these awful things to Good People though

#i don't know how or why and i don't remember ever having Learned about That Letter? but my mind automatically knew it was 'hath' somehow

#Of course that DOES beg the question of why a LORd of CHAOS doesn't... you know. CHANGE it? ??

#first of all: REM WHY ARE YOU COMING to OHIO of all places???

#okay but. randy how did they MEET what's the STORY why are they HATING on TEXAS

#or like. a Sarcastic Joke because cyborg was once like ''why aren't you miss mary sunshine''?

#''What are you DOING. You RUN. ALWAYS RUN.'' and i was like. ''why bother getting into adventures if you're gonna RUN though..''

#I don't know why but I always score better on Customer Service Questionaires when I choose responses like ''I'm sorry

#i've never seen that still before and I CAN;T FATHOM WHY because that is FANTASTIC!

#I don't know why but ''novice suddenly ends up with super incredibly powerful abilities'' is one of my FAVORITE TROPES!

#I have no idea how/why but these just gave me Massive Leyla and Srentha Feels.

#my usual turnaround time for Dreams to Real Life is about two weeks. not sure why but it happens to like 7 people in my immediate family

#Especially with the bells. I don't know why but bells always remind me of that place. ~<3

#Nobody intrinsically knows how to solve problems that hurt another person. That's why COMMUNICATION is so important!

#also: Good Post re: Why Danny is So Actually-Great

#why does everyone spell ''bear with me' like that?

#i know right? Why did I never think of that??

#why do i love this so much

#that's basically why Evanescence became my favorite band. it's not all romo-/sexually-centric

#i've always read it the same way and didn't notice Why Everyone Stopped Liking Her but that also brought that particular Change to light...

#groans eternally in Tumblr's direction. why even bother with all these updates.

#Oh THAT'S why Eda could do glyphs! /joke

#thaaaat's probably why Fancie Word Choice has always been a strength in my writing.... {lD;;;;;

#velvet and sheer... why have I never seen that combination before? It's GLORIOUS

#That's probably why he's so good at spontaneous Travelling too. Lots of practice when trying to find her... /owo

#This is why House and Senate votes count though! The President may have a lot of control over the military but a strong H+S

#I know MC Escher was a master of this (whatever This is) and that's why he's one of my favorite artists.

#okay but I'm intensely curious why he didn't have a plan to take HIMSELF out and thought he'd have to rely on THEM dsfndsgmfhdgj

#I wonder why he'd need to attack/defend while shifted? Can he also use such magic when he's not shifted?

#but I think that variety is why her every new album is so refreshingly Different.  Her singing ALONE improves so MUCH with every album!

#the only difference is that I imagined the fire came with smoke and that's why her gasp was so strangled and she grabbed her throa

#honestly this is why i'm basically addicted to empty-mind meditation?

#i'm cleaning my room and i misplaced it. badfnmkngjf;lk this is why i hate cleaning

#but scenes like this are why i love DC's latest gen of animated movies

#that Friends As Family theme was super important to why i love the 80's comics too..........

#this is why i read fanfic

#i think she feels slighted in some way but i can't pinpoint Exactly Why let alone HOW.

#and it's like.. Halfo f why lapis's characterization is so Shaky for me? Because the girl barely talks??? And she has like 7 Speech Modes

#^^^^ GUYS THIS WAS ALERINA. This is the environment Dove was raised in! This is why losing her mother tore her apart! ^^^^^

#This is so so SO important and delves deeply into why language is so important for learners and general humanity alike. ~<333

#that's why my tag for Old People Stories isn't specific to any generation. it's just Shitty Adults Being Shitty

#I write primarily about OCs and I know that's why my readership is so low. I write stories for a Dead Fandom that has declined sharply.

#you know? so that's why my Affirmations Tag is like 60% Steven UniversE Content at this point. 8F It's Helping Me Learn!

#It's a CIRCADIAN THING not an INSOMNIA THING. I don't know why my doctors don't believe it's NOT the same as INSOMNIA

#oh is THAT why my love language is ''all of them''?

#and i hardcore headcanon ry ouwearing glasses when he gets older. so why not?

#i Suck at the aCTUAL DRAWING art but i'm i na bit of a fallow period with the org and personal life. so why not?

#i'm already planning an aviary for the doves. so why not? (they'd be Very Separate from teh raven though. for obvious reasons)

#let's add to the Emotional Whiplash of Today pile. sure! why not!!

#but i got the dvd and i have vlc so why not use them i guess? i already had it in the drive for the extras and this way there's .....

#She can hop dimensions so why on Earth-- ALL the Earths-- hasn't she Been Relevant to ANY multi-timeline crisis yet???

#yes of fucking COURSE Dove and the rest are in Team Transition too!! Why on Earth-- on ANY earth! wouldn't I transition them too?!

#so why on earth did danny chase get shafted so hard?????

#about WHY or if she's GONNA be OKAY or HOW or--

#So gentle and soft and concerned and really quite quiet and subtle... which might be why others didn't pick up on the Love Vibe

#but the last one I reblogged didn't have that specified! 8O i don't know why one of my special interests is Unusual Instruments

#why WOULDN'T you snog a snitch if it could bring your dead loved ones back though? Why on Earth WOULDN'T you???

#but it's about ''they're very different. but they're friends!'' It just never talks about why or how that's important.

#(i think that's her full name for some reason but i don't know why or when i heard/saw it. somebody please correct me if i'm wrong!)

#I must be an Asker. I've never understood why people are so convinced they Can't Say No if someone asks?

#i also think PTSD makes you react to fear Differently from Pure Adrenaline Responses... but i can't unravel Why right now

#And also at the time I couldn't fathom why someone would think she was autistic. because i didn't know myself

#god this foreshadowing was just. so sincere and heart-rending and when this episode came out I *DID* wonder why she'd say that...

#I'm STILL trying to figure out why Srentha thought Dove was confessing that she has heartworm. (i know she Does Not in fact

#at first I was like ''Wow this is Srentha to the core!'' And then I read ''why this unreasonable answer at the sight

#i can't figure out why though

#If my Harmony Core theory is correct: it would explain why they're playing their music So Hard.

#the fact that my first reaction was ''why though'' is..... concerning?

#raven's like How? Why The HELL. and dove doesn't have a good answer besides ''it felt like i needed it.''

#fun fact: i misread this as ''zatana zatara / MICHIGAN '' and i was like... ''why the fUCK--''

#i don't know why there's all this fanart of

#and also sugar skulls are delightful but you should really know what they MEAN and REPRESENT and WHY they're sweet and flamboyant

#if someone is passionate; angry; or distressed over a topic: She doesn't always understand WHY until they EXPLAIN it. If they do at all.)

#oh hey why was THAT line never a meme

#this is why we need

#but that doesn't make it any less FRUSTRATING because I've been wORKING THROUGH the pptsd and why won't it STOP?

#(because that's why we have to pay for everything from movies to individual channels now. let's be real)

#i've never understood why winter and fall were the only ~fashionable~ seasons for wearing black.

#I mean to be FAIR some of the government DID mobilize and that's why we got the Stimulus Bill.

#But DC... this bullshit is why we can't have nice things

#and as soon as I looked it up: y first thought was ''Oh is that why we call them Abner?'' My second was ''Is that what *I* am?''

#also if you're as powerful as zee it probably comes second-nature so why WOULDN'T you throw it around to stop an argument?

#okay but if SPINEL doesn't know then how/why would BLUE know

#what? no i didn't just stare at this for a solid two minutes and read it over five times. no.. why would I do that?

#that's because it's not ''cool'' to hate on it so why would it be ''cool'' to like it ironically?

#why WOULDN'T you snog a snitch if it could bring your dead loved ones back though? Why on Earth WOULDN'T you???

#but it's not like a ragey angry thing. it's like........ war of attrition? why yes i think i WILL sign the 47th petition for the same thing

#over and over again and rewound and replayed until i got the whole spell written down. why YES I'm a little hyperfixated! why do you ask!!!

another fucking meme bitch

literally nobody can stop me 

this is the 3rd one of these ive answered for logan i really should give someone else a look-in

w e l p

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Morgan’s three years younger than him, so close enough to the same age group. They didn’t get on very well at all growing up – Logan was jealous and Morgan was spoilt, which resulted in friction a little beyond regular sibling rivalry – but their relationship has improved with age. They’re not close and there’s still some definite tension, but it’s generally healthy as long as they don’t start talking about their parents. Or anything too personal.

Morgan’s never done anything wrong, that’s the thing. That’s probably what irritates Logan the most. He has no genuine reason to resent his brother and he knows it’s unfair, but he struggles to find a way to redirect the feeling because he’s already embittered towards their parents so like … where the fuck else can it go? He still struggles with it, and tries extremely hard to temper his feelings towards his younger brother mainly out of guilt. It’s not Morgan’s fault. Nonetheless, it is undeniably disheartening to watch his parents dote upon someone who, at the end of the day, is really not all that different to him in the long run.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

Distant. Logan is an eternal disappointment to his mother, who had big dreams for her eldest son – indeed, he was meant to be her only son, before a little mistake came along three years later. From the beginning Morgan was an easier baby than Logan, and Madeleine subsequently funnelled her energy into the happy, bouncy infant rather than the rather aloof, introspective toddler. Logan was quiet, anxious and didn’t smile easily, and the more Madeleine withdrew the more he got the message – in childhood he would rather manage his independence and rely on himself than come to her for support, and as such her attentions on Morgan only intensified until it became uncomfortably clear to everyone that she had a very definite favourite.

In a nutshell, as far as Madeleine is concerned Logan can’t do anything right. There is criticism for everything, and if she can’t think of a snippy comment now then she’ll think of if later and ring him up to tell him. She is emotionally abusive, though she’ll never understand that – after all, she does love him (and in her mind, he hasn’t made that easy), but in all honesty she doesn’t like him very much, and he is more than aware of it.

It’s damaged him pretty badly, and as he grows older he distances himself more and more, reducing his contact with her to phonecalls and the occasional special occasion visit. Christmases are miserable. Madeleine, however, is a cakewalk compared to Edward.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Non-existent. Edward is vile. A bitter, egotistical narcissist who is profoundly aware that his wife has more money than him and cannot let it go. Logan began butting heads with him at a young age and suffered for it (there is no contention over corporal punishment in the English aristocracy), and he honestly feels nothing but distaste and resentment for the man, verging into hatred. The feeling is mutual – Madeleine might be disappointed in her son’s life and sexuality, but Edward is actively disgusted in him, and he has no problem telling him that. Their relationship ultimately exploded in Logan’s late teens, on the night he was outed – after many years of belittlement and abuse, physical and otherwise, he lost his temper entirely and punched his father in the jaw. Edward put him through a glass coffee table for his pains, leaving him with his facial scars, and he left the house that night and never really went back. Probably should’ve gone to A&E, tbh.

Anyway, they don’t speak. Or rather, Logan doesn’t speak to him. On the few occasions they’re forced to be in the same room (Christmases are m i s e r a b l e ), Edward will attempt to goad his eldest into retaliation, but fortunately in those situations Elrick is generally there too and he is MORE than happy to engage on Logan’s behalf.

The very last time they interact is at Madeleine’s funeral, and it ends in an extremely public, extremely loud argument in front of the entire congregation that results in Logan storming out halfway through (‘causing a scene’, is how Edward later puts it to his fellows at the country club). They never speak again, and he does not attend his father’s funeral five years later.

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Not a great deal. His phone, his wallet, his keys – usual shit. He doesn’t cart stuff around for the sake of it and will remove anything superfluous before he goes out, so there’s nothing crazy in there.

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

I’m no dream-diviner, but whatever relates to feeling like a complete and total fuckup. That’s a recurring theme.

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

He’s very claustrophobic and that tends to be a feature of his nightmares. In a modern setting, though, he’s not plagued by the constant nightmares he experiences in his original incarnation – they’re much more sinister in that verse, and they’re brutal. It’s a major factor in why his insomnia is so intense.

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

Depends on the AU. In a modern setting, which I’m pretty much answering for here, nope – shooting is a popular hobby for his mother and father, but he never participated. In most fantasy AUs, he knows how to use one, but he’s a pretty abysmal shot – he’s really only good with a gun in a few very select circumstances when it’s absolutely necessary. Original Logan is the absolute worst with a gun, hence why he doesn’t fucking carry one because it would definitely make more sense than carting a sword around if people keep on trying to assassinate you all the time.

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

It’s fluctuated. He grew up rich. Like … aristocratically rich. His family are Old Money. He wasn’t spoilt as a kid (that little honour went to Morgan), but he went to an expensive private school and certainly didn’t know discomfort.

When he left the home, that all stopped. He had no access to funds and his parents certainly weren’t prepared to give him any, so he made his own way. Ultimately, through a great deal of hard grafting and years of work, he clawed his way into Oxford, manhandled himself through law school and now earns a very comfortable living. He rejected any and all of Morgan’s attempts to help him (Morgan, who was given a ~small loan~ by his mother to start a business and has been a millionaire for pretty much all his adult life) and subsequently it took a long-ass time, but he’s proud of it.

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

Generally more. He’s certainly not the type to fuckin chill around the house half-naked. Like what’s the point. Get your fuckin ass off that expensive sofa and go and put some trousers on for fucks sake.

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

In a modern situation, the night he was outed. That PALES in comparison to his original incarnation’s Most Terrifying Moments 3 Day Compilation Storytime W/ Hi-Res Visuals & Audio, but still.

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

Nope. He’s fine with blood – his, other people’s, whatever. It’s not an issue.

Does your character remember names or faces easier?

Definitely names. He tends to forget faces because he doesn’t really care much about them lmao but names stick in his mind as ‘data’, almost.

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

Not preoccupied, but he does value money and possessions – he sees it as a status-marker. Old habits and all that.

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

Success for sure.

What was your character’s favourite toy as a child?

Honestly, he didn’t really play much. He tended to occupy himself with puzzles rather than toys, even when young – colours and shapes as an infant, then on to shit like jigsaws and building blocks as he got a little older, things he could occupy himself very independently with. He used to draw a lot as a young kid, but incidentally is absolutely shit at it as an adult so who knows what happened there. He did have a stuffed toy lion that he carted around as a toddler, but Edward put a stop to his kids having comfort items by the time they were 4 so he didn’t have it for very long.

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Ambition. It’s the Slytherin in him.

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

He’s too independent, which translates to coming across as cold. He can’t bear relying on other people because he knows damn well he can manage on his own, and it takes him a very long time to delegate trust in a relationship. This has caused friction with people in the past, often alongside accusations of being too cold, too indifferent, too distant. In the three years that he and Elrick spent broken up, his self-reliance was pretty much the final straw for the rebound-relationship he was in for those years – in amongst a nest of other issues, the man in question (sorry Jaeger) simply got fed up of trying to break down a wall that clearly was never going to come down on its own.

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

Oh, only ever self-criticism. Everyone is doing better than he is in one way or another, and he will find that one way.

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

Externally he’ll assign blame to others, but he internalises every second of it as his own fault. It’s the inferiority complex. He knows he deserves it, but he doesn’t want everyone else to know that.

What does your character like in other people?

Integrity, which is pretty rich coming from him as he is no stranger to the odd lie here and there. He also appreciates a practical, realistic outlook on life – relentless optimism irritates him to no end. Sometimes things are really shitty, there’s no use painting it fuckin gold and calling it wonderful. He likes someone he can occasionally bitch and moan with (or more than occasionally), who will either contribute their own grievances or simply let him get on with it without trying to force him to feel better.

What does your character dislike in other people?

Literally we’ll be here forever. He has no patience for what he considers to be ‘stupidity’. A lack of punctuality. Bad spelling. Bad grammar. A lack of self-care. An obnoxious laugh. Anything that reminds him too much of his mother. More than two middle names. Weak handshakes. I could keep going. Best not to.

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

Months, if not years. Really only Elrick and Kat enjoy his full and total confidence. He wants to trust Morgan, but to be entirely honest he can’t shed the fear that Morgan’s going to go parroting it all back to Madeleine the first chance he gets, which is probably a very unfair assumption to make. He knows this. It doesn’t change it, though.

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

He’ll suspect anyone of anything, given the right motivation. He doesn’t trust easily at all. More than once in the early years of the relationship he suspected Elrick of sleeping with his ex, for no other reason than the fact that he had an ex – he kept that particular concern entirely to himself, but it took a long time to shed.

How does your character behave around children?

Responsible. By the time he knew of Bastian’s existence the boy was already about seven, but he’s been babysitting Rowan since birth so he’s pretty comfortable by now.

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

It’s an absolute last resort.

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

Externally defensive, but internally he absorbs it.

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

No point repeating something if it’s clearly not working. A second try might not be a bad idea, just in case a mistake was made in the first opportunity, but any more than two repeats is just setting yourself up for failure.

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Oh bitch if he doesn’t like you, you will Know About It. He really doesn’t see the point in pretending to like somebody he doesn’t – it’s a waste of time and energy, and why bother giving that person false hope? Better to nip it in the bud.

Is your character more concerned with defending their honour, or protecting their status?

His honour’s all shot to the four fuckin winds anyway, but he will protect his status fiercely.

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

His mother’s ancient African Grey parrot used to bite him on the regular, and as such he hates parrots.

How does your character treat people in service jobs?

It could be better. It could be worse, but it could be much better. He’s still kind of a classist snob at times.

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

Nope. He’s never really had a paternal figure at all. Or at least not a positive one.

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

Not really – his only two dependents would be Bastian and Rowan, both of whom are blood relations.

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

It’s easy to say it when he doesn’t mean it (which he has done, in the past). It’s much harder to say when he does.

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

He has no idea whatsoever. He was raised Catholic, but has considered himself an atheist since his mid-teens – however, it’s extremely hard to shed the guilt and fear of damnation when it’s all you’ve heard for a huge chunk of your childhood. He likes to think that life just stops and then that’s it, you’re done, but he can’t quite get rid of the little chirp of paranoia that says he’s going to Hell.

Shipping Info Meme

Answer the following for your muse so people know how shipping works on your blog.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER?:

For Carvel, absolutely my one and only OTP is that between him and my good buddy Ramona’s Alucard, @loariata. These two had such wonderful and immediate chemistry from the moment they met that clued me in right away to these two being something incredibly special, and have only proven as much as they’ve gone through their massive waves of development and growth throughout the past couple of years. Their relationship has hit upon so many notes throughout its explosive lifetime, from incredible highs to crushing lows, struggles that nearly tore them apart only for their bond to thrive through it all and bring them back together at their strongest and their happiest. Truly, I’d consider them our magnum opus when it comes to the ships between me and her, being our first and our most intensely developed, and one that holds a deeply important place in my heart. I’m genuinely so proud of them, and so glad to have found a ship which was unquestionably perfect for this muse in every way after the struggles they went through to reach their hard-earned happiness.

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO WRITE WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?

Pretty much anything you would typically expect, really! Angst, fluff, drama, high moments, low moments, fights and resolutions, cute stuff, fun stuff, heavy heartache stuff. I love slow burn and tension in a ship equally as much as love at first sight, skinny love (when done right and not drawn out unbearably long), friends to lovers, enemis to lovers, straight up hateships, polyships, or simple platonic ships. I’m down for a bunch of things!

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

Underage muses are a huge no for me on any muse of mine, let alone one like Carvel who is well over a thousand, and I definitely prefer if all the muses involved are in their twenties or above as well. But so long as the muses involved are consenting adults, then age gaps don’t particularly trouble me at face value.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

Yes. This blog is strictly singleship, as are a few of my blogs, though even those posed as multiship blogs I tend to only ship selectively on. I am not terribly comfortable with shipping with people I don’t know or have a good OOC connection with and as such, I reserve shipping for people I consider my friends. I need to spend time with someone before I can dive into a ship, regardless of how our muses interact.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NS/FW?

The moment that hands start straying south, the clothes are off or descriptions take a turn for the saucy is usually when I consider it time to pop in a read-more.

WHO ARE OTHER THE CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

Nobody else, truly! I don’t find his relationships within the canon particularly compelling, and I don’t ship Carvel with any other muses here on tumblr either.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?:

Yes. I do not like people to just assume they’re obligated to a ship with me or that their muses feelings are requited without asking me about it first, especially if we aren’t friends. I’ve had this happen many times in the past and it’s only soured my experience on the platform and has lead me to a more selective pattern with my shipping partners as a whole. So, in the grand scheme of things, I vastly prefer it if newer partners ask about ships if its on their mind.

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP?

A great deal. Ships are wonderful things, and me and my friends can’t get enough of them! When you have that natural chemistry between yourself and another mun, its inevitable that ships will spring eternal as new muses come into the mix, and we put a great deal of love, time and attention into curating them all.

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?:

It depends! In a general sense, I love my ships and are obsessed with them, but I don’t go out into the community looking for ships per se, as stated above; thats a luxury mostly reserved for myself and my friends, and it’s been a long time since I met someone new that I wanted to ship with. So, ship obsessed when it comes to my companions and our own ships I suppose.

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?

Not here, I’m not! But all my blogs start off multiship unless I open them after they’ve already been paired off with one of my friend’s muses, in which case they are usually singleship, depending on my partner’s preference. All other times, however, the option is left open to explore ships with potential newcomers and existing partners.

WHAT IS/ARE YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP(S) IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?:

Not really any big ships to name in the VL fandom that I’m very hooked on.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?:

Getting to know me is key, so is honesty and patience. I can’t just jump into a ship unless the chemistry is truly out of this world--which, don’t get me wrong, sometimes does happen. But it’s very rare! I like to befriend my writing partners in general anyway and spend time discussing plots and ideas with them. Ships generally rise naturally from that ecosystem if the muses are a right match and the muns are too, and therefore that is the key to shipping with me in the first place.

Tagged by: @loariata <3 Tagging: STEAL IT LOL

character meme thing for lydia: 4, 7 (outside of the kid in canon, like if u could control the nightmares what would they be), 19, 35, 36

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

hm you mean aside from the beacon? lol I think there were maybe 2-3 mental “turning points” for Lydia in the sense that she could partition her life into sections of “before” and “after” around them, if that makes sense.

the gang war on earth is one – it killed her sister and is what (finally) convinced her to leave the gang. after seeing what she did and realizing she had been a part of it, it was sort of her come to jesus moment. she realized if she kept on like this she was either gonna be dead or in jail by the time she turned 20

the beacon is another

the leviathan was a big one. shepard deals with a lot of mind-twisting shit over the years, but something about meeting the leviathan face-to-face really shakes her. it’s not fear, exactly, but it unsettles what she knows about the universe.

most people she’s close to know about the beacon and leviathan. only anderson knows about the gang war.

7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?/Outside of the kid in canon, if you could control the nightmares what would they be?

drowning/lost floating in deep space – it’s not exactly about asphyxiation, though that is a part of it, but it’s also about helplessness/being surrounded by nothingness. for a character like shepard who is all about the action, they know “calm/quiet" does not always mean “peace/happiness”

after the leviathan, there’s a dream about being trapped under the sea with that thing for all eternity while the galaxy burns over and over again

i kind of like the forest nightmares as an idea. i just wouldn’t have done it that way in canon, but my way is a little genre-specific just cause i like reading horror stories. i’d make the forest nightmares more about suspenseful horror, instead of vague confusion and some whispers

19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

you and i have already talked about this hahahha. it’s definitely emotional constipation, which is like saying “space is kind of big.” she knows her strengths and weaknesses, which is very different from knowing her emotions; likewise she knows how important friendship and trust is, which is very different from being mentally stable enough to open her mouth and say “i love you” to another person. lydia also sees no problem nosing into someone else’s life to solve their problems but the first time someone asks if she’s okay, they’re met with a brick wall. probably has something to do with not growing up in a stable environment, not really understanding the word “family,” and being resurrected by a terrorist group and forcing herself out of habit to put on mental blinders just to do her job and keep putting one foot in front of the other most days in ME2. talk to chambers? there’s a cerberus AI in the walls, she lost two years and is now known as an enemy to the state, she’s got foreign tech in her skull, and you want her to spill her guts to the woman the illusive man is paying to provide him with updates on her mental health? are you fucking nuts? (by me3, it’s less paranoia and more just habit. i got those thermal pipes you asked me for. i’m fine. stop asking me that. what else do you need.)

has it destroyed relationships for her, no, but it has put them to the test. most of the crew understands lydia is unique and they can be the first to reach out and extend, and they don’t mind shepard not extending back because i think they’re all emotionally mature enough to know she’s still grateful – liara, tali, even samara and cortez, i think. meanwhile, my vision of garrus is not one of a guy who is very emotionally forthcoming either, so getting these two together, in a room, while facing each other, to admit that they like each other, out loud, took a long time and a lot of mental gymnastic on my part. the thing is that ofc with the canon shepard/garrus romance, shepard makes the first move because, as is my interpretation, garrus is absolutely clueless when it comes to romance. but lydia is clueless too, so even when they’re finally “together,” the both of them still feel… lonely is not the right word, but for a long while, certainly after the war, they’re serious about it but still questioning what they mean to the other. but you’re not talking to two normal people, so someone like garrus… yeah, he can recognize when shepard’s stressed, when she really wants to be alone vs when she’s just putting up a front, but he’s still got some of his own identity issues that affect his confidence in reading her subtler emotions, like her gratitude. if that makes sense. (not that it’s not on her to also be more forthcoming with things like that as well.)

35. How does your character behave around people they like?

for the not-crew? well for a while they probably wouldn’t know it if she liked them, looool keeping along with the image of “this is what a good soldier does,” she probably doesn’t reach out or react first, just treats whoever they are like normal, until one day maybe she makes a joke she knows that person will enjoy while they’re in earshot, and that’s like. ‘oh, that was meant for me? shepard actually has a sense of humor?’

keeping in mind that lydia did most of her emotional growing up while in a gang, and most of her mental/adult growing up/re-imaging while in the military from ages 18-21, which is a unique situation and gave her a very intense, extreme standard of human emotions. that’s not to say she doesn’t talk or interact normally, but just, she knows she’s not normal and for a long time is content to not get close to anyone.

36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?

she’s the kind of person to smile when she’s angry. not in a mocking or sarcastic way, just kind of, to herself, a sort of, “keep it together, smile, do not explode in front of these cameras.” about how she doesn’t know her own emotions – i don’t think she’s childish, exactly, but when she’s really mad, enough to make her lose her temper, it’s noteworthy since it’s a huge break from the brick wall of professionalism she puts on for the public. (i think this changes around the time of ME3 aka Stress City, but mostly thinking ME1 here.)

character questions: hard mode

SEASONS TAG! ☼

i was tagged to do this by @herbalteasims thank you !! 💕💖✨

1. which season are you gonna play with first?

Fall. Eternal summer BEGONE. Or maybe winter. I’m DESPERATE to see Windenburg in the winter.

2. from what you’ve seen in the trailer, what are you most excited about?

GOD I don’t know. All of it? Everything? Yeah, everything. but mostly snow in windenburg

3. what’s your favorite season irl?

Not summer, I can tell you that.

4. what’s your favorite flower / plant?

Sunflowers and snapdragons.

5. are you going to create a new sim/family or are you gonna keep your current household?

I’m gonna keep playing my current family. I imagine my generation two heir will be a young adult by then, so there’ll be a lot to do with that.

6. what would you like to see in this new add-on that you haven’t seen yet?

Honestly I don’t have an answer for this question oml akjgskajfas

7. how do you feel about not getting a new neighborhood with seasons?

I literally do not care. They said that they wanted to focus on how the existing worlds are affected, and they’ve also said each world has a unique climate, which is exactly what I wanted. So I couldn’t care less about there being no new world. I haven’t even finished exploring Brindleton Bay yet.

8. snow, rain or sun?

Rain. I’ve seen enough sun to last me a lifetime, and snow’s fun when it shows up, which it hasn’t in years, but it’s a nightmare to travel after it’s snowed.

9. favorite refreshing summer drink?

water. I pretty much only drink water, ever. or a salted caramel mocha frappuccino. but i’d drink that even if it were freezing cold outside.

10. favorite hot drink in the winter?

Coffee. I have to drink coffee every morning when I wake up, even in the summer.

11. walk through the forest or by the beach?

Forest. I love the beach, but walking on the beach is so hard on account of the SAND. I don’t like sand. It’s coarse, it’s rough, it’s irritating, and it gets everywhere. Also yeah I did pull out a vintage meme to distract from the fact that my name’s sand but I hate sand.

12. swimming pools or the ocean?

If I really have to choose, ocean. Swimming pools are fun, but I’m allergic to chlorine, so I have to be real quick about getting in the shower once I’m out of the pool. And I know I was just talking about how I hate walking on the beach because of sand, but I love the feeling of waves just picking me up when I’m in the ocean.

13. where would you like to travel if you could go somewhere right now?

Somewhere cold. Canada, maybe.

14. how is the weather today?

No idea. Looks like it rained outside during the night, and it’s kinda chilly right now, but I’m sure by noon it’ll be 500 degrees out. The weather lately has been all over the place.

15. what new traits would you like to see in the new add-on?

Definitely something along the lines of “Hates the heat/summer” or “Hates the cold/winter” since those are pretty realistic traits to have. I’d never use them because there’s so few trait slots to begin with but, they’d be fun to have I guess.

16. do you like to play with supernatural creatures like vampires and aliens? and if so, would you like witches/faries/elves?

Sure do, but only when I’m in the mood for it. Not gonna involve the occults in my current save, but I love my bisexual vampire boyfriend Caleb Vatore. Aliens I’ve played with way less than vampires, but I’ve had plenty of sims get abducted.

And I’d imagine I’d feel the same about witches and werewolves and fairies and stuff as I do about vampires. I’d have a blast playing them, but it’d only be when I’m in the mood to deal with them.

17. what is your favorite thing to do during winter?

wonder why it’s still 90 degrees because i’m from southern california and idk what a Winter is.

18. … during spring?

celebrate my birthday.

19. … during summer?

suffer.

20. … during autumn?

carve pumpkins. i’d love to go out on walks just as the sun sets, but it’s always nasty and humid here at that time of day. so that’s a good idea in theory.

21. have you pre-ordered seasons? and if you haven’t are you going to pre-order it or wait till it comes out?

Haven’t pre-ordered it yet, no. Waiting to get my paycheck, then I’m going to preorder it. I’m pretty against preordering things, but sims is my weakness, I guess.

22. in which neighborhood are you gonna play in sims first?

Like with seasons? Windenburg. I wanna see the SNOW there.

23. do you listen to music while playing? and if you so, what are you favorite songs to listen to?

I didn’t used to, but I pretty much have to now. That’s actually caused... some ISSUES. To say the LEAST. But I still do it.

As for the songs, it depends on what sim I’m playing with at the time. I listen to certain genres for certain sims. Like when I was playing my last legacy that involved my vampire heir and Caleb Vatore, I listened to a lot of alternative stuff. Mainly My Chemical Romance though, since, I mean, of course? Right.

Lately I’ve been listening to the songs Oh Ana by Mother Mother and Don’t You Dare Forget The Sun by Get Scared a lot while playing.

Oh and Smooth and Wow Wow by Neil Cicierega. But those are mostly when I’m not playing the game, just editing outfits or building.

24. What’s your favorite thing to do in the sims? creating sims, building, etc?

I love creating sims, that’s probably what I’m best at. Storytelling, mostly though. Oh and also, for whatever reason, I really love the grind that comes with the beginning of the legacy challenge. Especially when the bill percent is increased. Makes this fun.

25. what’s your favorite kit/pack/add-on?

Just like, one out of all of them? Not sure. But I think Get Together is my favorite expansion, Vampires and Parenthood are my favorite game packs, and then Vintage Glamour and Movie Hangout are my favorite stuff packs.

26. and finally, what add-on / pack would you like to see next?

I’ll just be like half the rest of the fans and say University. More occult stuff would be fine too, but I don’t know, I always prefer the packs rooted in realism more than the more Wacky packs.

Hmmm I always feel weird tagging people akjfaskjfa but how about @allurasims @sailor-day-sims @catmily @celestialsims-y @hallucinosims @lovelythesimmer @waywardqueensims ok is that too many people idk ajgkajjk i feel like it’s too many dang people so i’ll just stop and go to sleep now

Jane and carlos ship meme can't remember if I already asked for this

You haven’t.

1.Whois the most affectionate?:

Carlos.

Afterlearning that showing affection and vulnerability isn’t somethingto be avoided at all costs, and more so, not being victimized andtaken advantage of by others that just reinforce his Isle-sourcedbeliefs, he just goes all out on showing his friends, hispseudo-family, and especially Jane as much love and affection as hecan.

2.Bigspoon/Little spoon?:

Theyalternate, depending on who’s having the worse day, the worse panicattack, or in the case that they’ve both suffered equally sucky andterrible days, who Dude or their current pet dog/s decides to snuggleup to.

3.Mostcommon argument?:

Carlos’scientific projects, and what he can or can not work on, at home orin the office.

Aftergetting access to proper education, professional mentorship,communication with his fellow inventor peers, scholarships, researchgrants, and most importantly, a lifetime membership at the HandyDandy Hardware store franchise, sometimes even the laws of physicsaren’t enough to limit Carlos’ trying to make his ideas areality.

As he borrows from Adam Savage, “I reject your reality, and substitute my own!”

4.Favoritenon-sexual activity?:

Discussionof their days, what happened, and what will be happening.

Janeenjoys the way Carlos lights up when discussing his latest project,results, and activities, even if sometimes her incredibly advancedthought process and infallible memory can’t keep up with him, andCarlos enjoys knowing that he’s serving as the sympathetic,attentive ear for whenever Jane needs to unload, and boy, does shehave some plenty interesting stories to tell, even if they are rants.

They’reboth all too used to being ignored, or outright being told to shutup, that their issues and concerns were less important than someoneelse’s—the most common culprits were Cruella, and of course,Audrey.

It’sREALLY nice to have someone who just up and listens, no questionsasked.

5.Whois most likely to carry the other?:

Jane.

Carlosheavily relies on mathematics, physics, and Judo whenever he has todo anything physical. And however frail Jane’s mortal body lookslike, she can easily override the “limiters” and becomesuperhumanly strong.

6.Whatis their favorite feature of their partner’s?:

Janereally enjoys Carlos’ energy and sheer enthusiasm when he gets intosomething he really, really, really enjoys, such as dogs,science projects, or some other sort of achievement like an amazingblock in a friendly, non-professional Tourney game with friends.

Carlosloves Jane’s eyes, the one thing that she doesn’t—can’t,really—de-age or attempt to hide just how old, how experienced, andhow many things she has seen over her immortal existence, good, bad,and everything in between.

7.What’sthe first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings forthe other?:

Youcan watch this whole series in Descendants 2. I really don’tagree with many of the writer’s decisions and how they executed it,but I’m too lazy and tired to think up of an entirely differentseries of them getting together.

8.Nicknames?& if so, how did they originate?:

“Dr.de Vil” after Carlos officially gets his doctorate in MechanicalEngineering, “My Little Mad Scientist” because of all of hiscrazy, zany experiments, and “Fae’s Best Friend” when he onceasked, “If dogs are man’s best friend, what does that make me toyou?”

“BabyJane” as an affectionate, playful nickname, “Doggy Godmother”because of how experienced and skilled she is with taking care ofdogs, and “Blue” when Jane explicitly asked him to make up aspecial nickname that only he could use.

9.Whoworries the most?:

Jane.

Carloshas learned that sometimes, there’s really nothing you can do butface whatever impending unpleasantness is coming your way, and thatall the fretting and hypothesizing in the world is better spentactually doing something, objectively and definitively finding outhow a decision/preparations/experiment will turn out.

Thataside, he’s mortal, worrying takes up a lot of his inherentlylimited energy, and Jane has no such constraints.

10.Whoremembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?:

Jane.Infallible Faerie Memory, baby.

11.Whotops?:

Theyswitch, but Jane takes this role the most.

12.Whoinitiates kisses?:

Carlos.See No. 1.

13.Whoreaches for the other’s hand first?:

Carlos.

14.Whokisses the hardest?:

Jane.Initiation might be difficult and awkward for him, but bridging theinitial gap is kind of like opening the floodgates of affection,love, and messy, slobbery tongue-action.

15.Whowakes up first?:

Jane,by virtue of rarely, if ever actually sleeping, and only for a fewhours if she does.

16.Whowants to stay in bed just a little longer?:

Carlos.All that flurry of activity and thinking in a short span of timeequates to a LOT of forced, necessary downtime, and unlike hissmartphone, you can’t expect him to be completely ready to doa-zillion different functions and programs as soon as you press the“On” button.

17.Whosays I love you first?:

Again,see the Descendants 2 movie.

18.Wholeaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does itusually say?):

Jane.

It’susually reminders of things that miss Carlos’ (admittedlyincredibly haphazard and disorganized) record keeping system, butsometimes she just goes on to say how much she loves him, or cutelittle things their pets have done that he might like to know about.

19.Whotells their family/friends about their relationship first?:

Jane,though it’s really easy to do so when your mother isn’tobjectively fucking crazy.

20.Whatdo their family/friends think of their relationship?:

FairyGodmother is super supportive and loving towards Carlos—sometimes alittle too much, as FG has a tendency to overcompensate with the“maternal support towards the boyfriend” because of lingering,unconscious guilt of never being around for Jane as much as sheshould have been.

Cruellathinks the whole thing is an absolute disgrace, especiallysince Jane can’t really get “anything of actual worth” fromCarlos. “Not that a homely face and run-of-the-mill body like herscan nab anyone worth marrying in the first place!”

21.Whois more likely to start dancing with the other?:

Carlos.Excessive amounts of energy that need to be released, yo.

22.Whocooks more/who is better at cooking?:

Jane.She’s had plenty of free time to fill, and even though Carlos doescook, he using his hands to work with machines and computers, notknives and fresh ingredients.

23.Whocomes up with cheesy pick up lines?:

Carlos.

“Youknow, Jane, when I think about us, I can’t help but feel like I’ma nut.”

“Anut? Why?”

“BecauseI fit so well with you, like you’re a bolt, and we were just madefor each other.”

24.Whowhispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear duringinappropriate times?:

Carlos.Look, Jane is not above and definitely into dirty talk, but Carlos isthe one who always feels the need to “shake things up” when Janewould rather they not be shook.

25.Whoneeds more assurance?:

Jane.

Carlosisn’t the picture of absolute, constant self-confidence, but atleast he can’t completely, objectively remember every single timehe has ever felt like he could not do it, and it turns out thatdespite his best efforts and the confidence of others, he couldn’tdo it after all.

26.Whatwould be their theme song?:

Imay have used this before, and my apologies if I did, and also for mylimited song knoweldge, but “Body Image” by TWRP fits them verywell.

Jane’sphysical appearance remains a sore point for the rest of her life—shewas “beautiful” in high school, but what about college? The realworld as a “twenty-something” in as much as an immortal, agelessfaerie can be a twenty-something? How should she look as she, herfriends, and her lover age and grow older?

Justhow much gray should she have on her hair? Should she start changingher appearance to have more wrinkles, extra, unnecessary padding, alittle more stoop to her posture? Is it even fair to be simulating aweakening, failing body, when everyone knows full well she willeternally be a spry spring chicken blessed with divine strength andagility like a Grecian Avian Demi-God?

Regardlessof what she looks like, though, Carlos will always love her.

27.Whowould sing to their child back to sleep?:

Jane.

Carlosdoesn’t really feel like he’s up to the task, seeing as all his“lullabies” were Cruella screaming at him at the top of hislungs, blaming him for all her problems, and loudly saying to hisface, message clear thanks to her facial expression, body language,and tone, that she regrets ever having him.

28.Whatdo they do when they’re away from each other?:

Carlosdoes science, Tourney, and “Guy Things” with Jay, the specificsof which change over time. In their teens and twenties, it’s goingout to town, getting into trouble, and possibly being arrested. Inhis thirties and forties, it’s meetings with the other dads and“with kids or serious, all-consuming careers” adults for thingslike weekend hunting trips, “bad-back friendly” Tourney teams andgames, and of course, embarrassing group bonding events with theirkids, their nephews and nieces, and/or godchildren, and so on and soforth for however long he lives.

Janegoes on with her numerous jobs and duties as a Fairy Godmother in anage mostly without magic, hanging out with her female friends withwhatever activities are “in” with them at the moment, and tryingto immerse herself in the present culture however well or awkwardlyshe can, if only so the inevitable generational paradigm shift of allof society around her gets less surprising and sudden.

29.oneheadcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart:

Carlosand Jane own a LOT of dogs over the course of their relationship. Asyou would expect, none of these puppers ever live as long as Carlosdoes, and it’s impossible for any of them to be an immortal Faelike Jane. Every decade or so, they lose a furry best friend orthree, bury and/or cremate them, and shelve a scrapbook filled withprinted photos and mementos in a special collection with all theirdogs.

Ithappens constantly. It’s inevitable. They know, and willinglyaccept that fact every time they are gifted a new puppy, or adopt onefrom the shelter.

Butstill, every single time, it hurts.

Andno time does it hurt the most, than the first time Jane has to fillin the very last pages of a scrapbook by herself, decide whereexactly it’s going to go in that giant wall of scrapbooks by herlonesome, figure out all by herself whether or not she’s going togo get a new dog, after she buried both her latest pet and herhusband.

30.oneheadcanon about this OTP that mends it:

Weknow from Mulan there’s definitely an afterlife—or enough of aperson that sticks around, that it’s basically them for all intentsand purposes. And thanks to connections with Lonnie, and the gradualweakening of the Magic Ban to the point where it’s really just aset of regulatory acts not unlike the laws governing ownership anddriving of a car, Jane manages to get an opportunity to see Carlosagain, along with all of their dogs.

Janehugs and kisses the ghostly, kind-of-cold Carlos in the middle of asea of dogs, before they both lie down and drown in all theslobbering, yipping, yapping, barking, licking, and tail-wagging,struggling to keep up with all the lapdogs who refuse to share withall the other lapdogs, the dogs that really did not like making newfriends, the ones that were just too eager to be friendly withabsolutely everyone they encountered--

--Alltheir dogs, of all temperaments, breeds, backgrounds, and what haveyou, Jane remembering all of them in infallible, exact detail,holding them in her arms once more, feeling their love and affectioneven if her hand goes right through them, and there’s no warmth, nofluffiness when she tries to pet them, just a muggy, slightlyunpleasant coldness.

Thereunion lasts for hours, the magicians, voodoo practitioners, andspirit callers officiating it having to clock overtime because theyhave just that many dogs, and Jane and Carlos want personal time witheach of their pets, however long each canine wants to be with boththeir owners once again.

Buteventually, even the most attention and affection hungry pup hastheir fill, even the dogs that want play time to stretch for on andon find themselves bowing out, and Jane feels that fatigue settingin, the kind that shouldn’t technically exist, but the power oftrying to imitate being normal and human can bring.

Janeand Carlos stand up, hug and kiss one last time, before Jane moves tothe side with the exhausted or just replaced summoners, Carlos andtheir dogs move to the other side. Hands waving, mouths open inpants, tails wagging, they say their goodbyes, before the latterdisappear, and all is quiet once more.

Janegoes home, and spends quite a long time alone immediately after, andtaking something of a semi-vacation from all her work and duties forthe time after that.

Butsome day, she plans on getting herself a new puppy, changing herphysical appearance once more to a woman definitely old enough to besomeone’s mom but not quite someone’s grandmother, putting out adating ad as she tries to get back in the “market.”

Shedoesn’t know exactly what she’s looking for, but she does knowthat they must love dogs.

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Fantasy Daddy Simulator -- Final Fantasy XV x Dream Daddy Headcanons (Part 2)

Heeey~ Making good progress on writing tonight. c: I think two parts is pretty good, though I wonder if I can power out one final part to finish off all them dere dads and all. These are all so fun to write, so I hope you guys are enjoying them too~ Speak of too, let’s move onto part two of the headcanons, introducing even more of those single dads. c;

PREGAME NOTES

Let’s add about 15-20 years on these boys. Give them time for the children to grow older.

Let’s also say they live in that cul-de-sac area just like from Dream Daddy.

And the children are just me throwing dumb thoughts your way. Because yay for thinking up of headcanons (and child characters unmentioned!).

FANTASY DADDY SIMULATOR – FFXV x Dream Daddy (Part 2)

Featuring: Ravus Nox Fleuret, Ardyn Izunia, Loqi Tummelt, and Cor Leonis

PART ONE -- Featuring Noctis, Prompto, Ignis, and Gladio

Ravus Nox Fleuret – Widower, Father of One Girl and One Boy

Likes: Classical Music, Teaching His Children, Cake, Some Goddamn Peace and Quiet Dislikes: Socializing With People, Babysitting Other People’s Kids, The Screamo Death Metal That His Daughter Loves

Poor Ravus can’t catch a break, especially in terms of loss and tragedy in his life. His mother had died in an awful housefire that left he and his sister, Lunafreya, devastated. And then as time passed and he married to a beautiful woman and had two of the most darling children, she passed away during a car accident.

And worth of all for Ravus, he was the one who had been driving that night.

On the way home from a night out, their car was hit by another, Ravus swerving out of the way and unfortunately crashing head on with a tree. His wife was dead on arrival and Ravus was left with an injury that forced his arm to be amputated and left him going through months of extensive habilitation.

His children were left to stay with his sister until he was finally able to return home to recover, but things in the house were tense because of it all. Ravus was no stranger to grief, but the fact that his children lost their mother too was a heavy toll on them all.

But nevertheless, his kids did their best to be supportive of him, even if they were only nine and six years old at the time. And so, he pushed himself to make sure he was the best father to his kids. It’s what their mother would have wanted.

Despite his reputation as being the scary police commissioner, he’s really kind and compassionate towards his kids. Perhaps only his kids, but he shows them a side that very few get to see, especially because they bring out a sense of patience and kindness to them.

They’re his kids, after all. He doesn’t need to babysit anyone else besides his own children.

Unless, of course, he’s stuck babysitting the Caelum boys. Those little shitheads… But he and his eldest daughter do a good job in making sure that the boys stay in line and eat their goddamn vegetables for once. Ignis’s tips on making meals more ‘fun’ works wonders.

His son is the one that he usually has a hard time trying to figure out rather than his daughter, who is a splitting image of himself. His son took after his mother, a much more free-spirited soul. And one with a rather nasty vocabulary.

…Actually, he probably got that from his daughter. She REALLY needs to hold her tongue.

But despite his differing viewpoints with his son, he’s more than glad to support his son throughout whatever strange endeavor he’s pursuing. Painting or something, last Ravus recalled. Ravus could only sigh and curtly remind his son that they aren’t called ‘Starving Artists’ for nothing…

He loves his kids both to death, but he just wished that at least ONE OF THEM will give him grandchildren. Some way, somehow, considering that his daughter is exclusively a lesbian and his son eventually starts having a love-hate-bang relationship with both the Argentum boy.

Ravus just as to sigh and keep wishing to the Astrals that adoption is something one of his children will consider. 

Ardyn Izunia – Unmarried, One Known Daughter and One Known Son

Likes: Giving Sermons To People, Drinking, Gambling, Pretending He’s A Good Guy, Drinking More Dislikes: Responsibility, The Caelum Family – Especially That Runt Noctis, Being Called Old

Times change, time passes, and Ardyn had gone through quite a bit of mischief in his younger days. Well, not that he really looked that old to begin with even if he probably is old as dirt, but not everyone has been ‘blessed’ by the Astrals with eternally youthful skin.

In his time and prime, he’s had countless of lovers, men and women alike, but he always tried to forget them the next moment and move along with his life. C’est la vie, after all.

But it was high time his past decided to catch up to him and his antics to get back at the business that wrongly fired him for just trying to help make it better and causing Ardyn to go back to being a priest again. It had nothing to do with the business, he hoped.

So needless to say, when he continued his work as the local (crazy-ass) preacher of the Inferian church, he was surprised to see that after his sermon, a red-haired woman waited in the seats with her black-haired companion, as if anticipating getting Ardyn’s attention.

“Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Yeah. You’re our father.”

“Well, yes. I preach at the church you go to, after all.”

The two groans that came from the town adults only got Ardyn to laugh more at his stupid joke. But he was surprised to see that they weren’t actually kidding about the fact that he was a legitimate father. In fact, he was there dad for about thirty years now.

Well, thirty-two since the sister was older than her brother by two years.

Ardyn had to rub his temples before trying to play it off as if he made his choices and his kids were better off without him, but they did little to let up. Especially as they delivered the news that their mother had died, so they wanted to at least invite him to the funeral.

He let out a small sigh and looked away solemnly. It seemed like he outlived far too many people. He never really was a funeral type of man (liking to celebrate the death of assholes in private and, you know, cry over the ones that weren’t assholes), but he at least agreed to dinner with the two children of his.

He was able to catch up and hear a bit in amidst the awkward tension of realizing that his kids were so old now. His daughter was a rising star in the movie industry, and his son was working to one day start his own health clinic as a doctor. How admirable of them both. It was too late for Ardyn, but it was good to see that his kids were doing well without him.

They still wanted to see Ardyn more, however, and thus invited him to a family reunion with the usual gossipy folks. Ardyn did love gossip, so it was tempting. But the suggestion that there was going to be a lot of booze there got Ardyn to immediately sign up. 

Perhaps trying to reunite with his kids wouldn’t be too bad after all.

Loqi Tummelt – Guardian, Guardian of Two Boys

Likes: Going Out, Clubbing, Fancy Cars, Texting Dumb Memes to People Dislikes: Keeping Promises, Fun-Suckers, That Asshole Teacher That Keeps Failing His Boy for Spelling ‘Immortal’ Wrong

By the words of everyone Loqi knew – and Loqi had to admit, he asked himself this too – why the hell did he even agree to this? With issues going around about a familial friend of his supposedly ‘dying’ and other drama back in his hometown of Gralea, Loqi was a bit confused on just what everything meant.

Was he going to get money? He hoped he was going to get money. Or at least a nicer car than his beat-up pinto. Seriously.

Nope. Instead he got kids. Well, teenagers, but since they were younger than he was, they were, in fact, kids. Hardly what you called a gift.

But as part of the will, he would be granted two million gil to help with child support if Loqi was able to provide the kids with a nice home for about a year. Stupid lawyers and their stupid deals.

So, he sort of just sat there across from the two twin teenage boys, having a staring contest with the two of them as they negotiated just what it would take for all three of them to get the gil and never deal with each other again as they both go off to college.

“If I have a date that I’m going to bring back here, you’re either in your room or you’re walking out of here at midnight to go do something else for awhile. Got it?”

“But what if we get stopped by the cops for being out at midnight?

“Then jump the fence and run from him! Not like he can do much with one arm anyways!”

Loqi was honestly easy to please, and he was okay in just living around the boys than having to deal with them. But as time passed, the little things that the boys did made living a lot more fun. And, you know, a lot less lonely.

They would cook dinner and make sure that Loqi ate before he went out on one of his various dates, they’d clean the house, and when evening hit and Loqi brought back one of his many boyfriends to the house, he’d see the two boys passed out on the couch together. Both were waiting for Loqi to return home.

Loqi would just let out a heavy sigh as he shooed his boyfriend, smiling at the two boys that were taking more care of him than he was of them. He’d end up grabbing a blanket and laying up with the two of them as he fell asleep too.

He eventually grows a better bond with the boys and becomes a bit more responsible for their well-being over the year of the agreement with the lawyer. And as the lawyer asked Loqi if he still wanted to keep the boys, Loqi just sort of shrugged and went, “I mean… They’re such troublemakers. I think I’m the only one who can keep them in line!”

The boys only laugh before they shake hands with the lawyer and load up into the dinky little pinto to go out to celebrate Loqi’s surviving an entire year with them and to discuss the idea of potentially adopting the boys as his own sons. 

Cor Leonis – Adoptive/Foster Father, Father of Two Girls and ‘Father’ of Four Dumbass Boys

Likes: Cherry Blossoms, Lecturing People, Learning About/Collecting/Using Swords Dislikes: Being The Only Dad That Knows What He’s Doing, Stupid Questions, Snakes

Most people just sort of consider him to be their dad because, let’s be real, everyone goes to Cor for dad advice about anything – boys, girls, how to change a tire, how to be a dad. Literally if you have a question about it, Cor knows the answer.

Or he’ll just tell you to figure it out yourself. That’s the answer he loves telling his four adopted dumbass boys.

In case you were wondering, it’s Prompto, Noctis, Ignis, and Gladio he’s talking about.

Prompto was the first one that he really ‘adopted’ when his father had abandoned the poor child. Cor was a part of child services trying to locate baby Prompto to a new home, but Cor just plain had a soft spot for Prompto and his chubby face.

Because, despite Cor wanting to have a married life with picket fences and all, his crazy changes of careers really lead him to so many places that left him unable to really, you know, mingle with the ladies.

That, and when you’re a school teacher, you kind of devote your life more to the kids than you do to your wife. Husband. Whatever you really prefer.

But nevertheless, he still applied to become a foster parent to kids who are looking for a home after he had worked and studied the art of child care (and swordplay, but that’s a hobby). He eventually became the foster dad of two beautiful girls because of it.

They were a bit older than Prompto around the time they were taken in by Cor, luckily mature enough to be more independent so Cor wouldn’t have to parent them as much. But not like he needed to do much with them cooing over their cute little ‘brother,’ Prompto.

He loves his daughters a lot, but sometimes he finds himself apologizing to them because he has four other sons to cater to apparently. Whenever something goes wrong, it’s always Prompto, Noctis, Gladio, and Ignis who calls him. In that order.

He just has to let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his temples as he asks one of his daughters to drop off some of her hand-me-down clothes to Gladio and the other daughter to help Noctis cook something other than frozen salmon for the fifth night in a row.

Kids… They’re all such a hassle and pain sometimes. Especially when he’s getting too old for this shit.

But nevertheless, they all love Cor as their father, foster dad, self-proclaimed adoptive dad, all of the like. Father’s day is always a treat because they really do shower Cor with random gifts of thanks that Cor never really turns down. About damn time he gets some appreciation.

At least he’ll never run out of coffee mugs that say ‘Best Dad’ on it, and he’ll never have to worry about losing his slippers because he’ll always have a back-up pair. 

You know, I’d describe last week’s episode as a guilty pleasure. I enjoyed it but felt...kind of OFF in enjoying it, like I wasn’t supposed to enjoy it. The more I thought about it though, the more things that were in the episode that didn’t make sense at the time began to make sense. As a result of this there are now two ways I view this episode.

The first, which I am assuming is the intended message, is that it’s an episode about the dangers of fame and mass attention from hundreds and hundreds of ponies, with a few nods to the fandom thrown in just for lulz. This version of the episode is somewhat flawed and a lot of stuff doesn’t end up making sense, chief among them being that the admittedly great song that’s still stuck in my head attempts to refute an accusation that I don’t remember any pony in the episode leveling at the mane six. 

Their beef with Rarity was that she’s unlikable, not that she’s flawed. They HAVE no beef with Rainbow Dash or Applejack I could see. They think Fluttershy’s character arc is repetitive. They think Pinkie Pie is a one note character. They think Twilight Sparkle has undergone changes that make her less entertaining as a character with some even thinking the premise of the entire show doesn’t work. None of these ponies gathered the mane six together and accused them of being bad because they weren’t perfect.

So in total the literal reading of this episode is that a bunch of ponies had issues with the writing and stories in the journal while completely ignoring that it was a work of non fiction, the mane six completely misunderstood and addressed something that nopony was accusing them of, and the episode ended with nothing resolved and I assume Rarity’s business is going to be just fine for the rest of the season instead of tanking under public pressure until she’s forced to resign from the fashion industry altogether due to being added to various blacklists.

But there’s another reading of this episode, and it makes way, WAY more sense to me but at the same time I’m probably just reading into it too much.

Twilight Sparkle sees two fillies having a fight and threatening to end their friendship over it. She gets them together for a lecture and ends up repeating one of the friendship lessons from years past, which seems to work. This gives her an idea, and she gets her friends together and publishes their collective works for public consumption.

This is symbolic of the show’s staff making the show with a target audience of little girls in mind.

Suddenly the journal they published gets really, really popular with full grown ponies that are suddenly flooding into their lives and breathing down their necks in ways they never ever expected. Rarity gets boycotted despite all the good she’s done, Pinkie Pie’s personality is disregarded save for one trait, Rainbow Dash gets eternally fawned over with nopony even so much as batting an eyelash as she allows foals to follow her toward potentially dangerous lightning clouds, Fluttershy’s progress as a character is completely ignored, Applejack is forced to endlessly expend resources on ponies that feel entitled to it because they want it, and Twilight Sparkle’s entire character arc is summarily designated incorrect.

This is symbolic of the bronies and other adult fans of the show that nobody expected. The individual problems each of the mane six face can also be linked to specific aspects of this flood of fandom. Rarity is at the center of fandom hate, a character the fandom singles out and hates no matter the circumstance and they will not relent until the character is killed off or otherwise completely removed from the show. Rainbow Dash is the exact opposite, and is loved unquestioningly with people either ignoring or refuting every single flaw attached to said character no matter how deep or obvious. Pinkie Pie is essentially reduced to an endlessly repeated meme, without a single soul acknowledging other interesting traits of her character. Fluttershy is held to hypocritical standards that her detractors would never stick to themselves, and even if she rises to meet these standards the goal posts are shifted so that she can never win. Finally, Twilight Sparkle, the very core of the show, is seen as inferior and incorrect making one bother why these ponies even bothered to finish the book, or came all this way just to tell the authors how much they suck.

But even more interestingly to me, a bunch of ponies show up on Applejack’s farm, declare themselves her family, and proceed to freeload around while she gives them a bunch of stuff for free. This doesn’t make any sense to me. Applejack is a farm pony, a business mare, and cares deeply about family. Why would she actually give these ponies what they wanted and consider them her family because they just declared it? Surely she realizes that giving a bunch of ponies free stuff for no reason isn’t a sustainable plan? She needs those apples and that cider in order to do business so that Sweet Apple Acres can stay afloat. Why the hay didn’t she just say she appreciates the good sentiments from all her fans and doesn’t mind a visit here and there but that she and her actual family need to run a business and they need to leave? Well...here’s something to think about in regards to that...

How many dollars have you personally thrown at Hasbro for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic related things? How many dollars do you think other fans have thrown at Hasbro for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic related things? Do you watch new episodes on TV when they air where you viewership can be counted up for the ratings number, or do you watch a stream of it later on youtube or dailymotion, where your view doesn’t really help at all? Do you buy My Little Pony merchandise? More specifically, do you buy official My Little Pony merchandise made by Hasbro, the kind of sales that they keep track of and from which they can profit? Commissioning fan work doesn’t really count in that regard, because Hasbro doesn’t see any of that money.

The point is that a no doubt large section of the fan base is enjoying My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic for free, and all their enthusiasm and spreading of the brand is nice but it doesn’t change the fact that they still are not contributing financially to the franchise. This is what Applejack’s predicament in this episode makes me think about.

For the record, I watch streams of new episodes since I don’t get cable or satellite. I have however bought all four Equestria Girls movies and their soundtracks from iTunes. So while I have technically thrown money at Hasbro, I still overall consider myself part of that particular problem for not contributing to the ratings.

Then there’s the song Flawless. As I said before, this song doesn’t make much sense in the context of the episode...but it does make more sense if you think of it less as the mane six talking to the crowd, and more as the makers of the show talking to their audience. But much like in the episode, no amount of appeals to reason or introspection will ever work, and the fandom is still going to lob hate at them regardless of what they do, forever.

With the main conflict summarily impossible to resolve, Starlight brings in the two little girls that Twilight saw arguing at the beginning of the episode. As it turns out, the journal the mane six published together has convinced them to remain solid friends to one another in spite of difficulties they might experience. Having seen this, they all resolve that being able to help like this is worth the sheer unending misery their fame has brought them.

So in summary, this alternate reading of the episode that makes far more sense to me personally reads something like this:

“We made this show for little girls. Unexpectedly, a bunch of people we never intended it for has taken a liking to it. At first we thought this was amazing, but over the years this unexpected fan base has proven to be nothing but unrelenting misery and hardship that foists hate upon us while having done nothing to contribute. Negotiating or reason is impossible and we have pretty much given up on anything good ever coming of them. However, regardless of the burden this places upon us, we will soldier on and continue to make the show, because the audience we actually made the show for enjoys and benefits from it.”

Like I said, I’m probably reading way too deep into it, and as always my interpretation is likely colored by my rampant self hatred. But after dwelling on it for a few days I can’t help but be at another one of those moments where I wonder if someone like me, someone who pretty much lives in grimdark, would have done far more good for the franchise by just leaving it alone forever instead of having chosen to engage with it to taint it with my mere presence.

okay.. well.. I may as well actually talk about this

I got the intial news like almost a month ago now, but its only now that I have more details and I’m actually going to the first meeting tomorrow. Also i was just so nervous I didnt know how to talk about it until now. So umm.. yeah! The long version under the cut, but in summary: I may be going somewhere soon, and for potentially 4-6 months. I may or may not have much access to the internet. But this is hopefully gonna help my mental health, I hope. And I have this money in my savings now I wanna keep it as a ‘reward’ of sorts after I finish this, and I’m really hoping to be able to take a holiday to america and visit at least one of my friends, depending on how many states I’m able to cross on this budget. And hopefully I might actually be more prepared for such a big journey, and if its my reward then I’ll be able to not give up!! No matter what!! So yeah more under the cut, umm:

I may be going to an intensive therapy location. Its a communal housing area with therapy support workers and a course that I have to go through. i’ve been repeatedly reassured that it isn’t as bad as some terrifying places I’ve heard of on the internet, its a confirmed NHS-funded health facility and its supposed to be more of a communal house than like.. a prison with electroshock ‘therapy’. I dont really have any info on it yet though, but thats what I’m doing tomorrow- im finally actually having a meeting with them and getting to see the house before I move there, and ask questions and stuff. And my support worker says that if I say no I don’t have to go. But I really want to go if it really is what it says it is! OF COURSE I want to go to a therapy activity camp course that can hopefully help me conquer my anxiety faster! its just that well.. because i have ANXIETY, i cant help but frantically research on the internet and come to the worst conclusions and assume thats what’s gonna happen, and its all a scary scam... Anyway, at the moment all I know is that I won’t be locked up in there with no freedoms, and there will be other patients too and hopefully I can make friends maybe, but also im terrified I’ll make a bad impression and i’ll be the worst person there while everyone else progresses and I don’t.. gah...

But even if this place is wonderful and amazing and has zero scary asylum stuff, its still quite likely that I won’t have internet while I’m there, so i wont be able to keep in touch with you all. I can access limited internet on my phone but the browser cant even handle running youtube so im not gonna be as active. Also I cant afford a huge amount of mobile data and all. But I just hope I can indeed keep phone internet enough to be able to message my friends if I’m having a bad day and stuff. i dunno if any of you would even remember me if I vanished for half a year, lol... But like.. if you do still wanna be friends after not seeing me for ages, I really do wanna try and visit america and meet some of you guys! (and if I could afford it, I’d wanna visit other countries too, I’m just picking america first cos I speak the language and I know the most friends who live there) Oh and umm.. if I’m gonna be gone for a long time I probably will need stuff to help me keep calm and keep going and stuff. I save all the fanarts I get from my best friends, they really fill me with love! But I’d love if also maybe when I leave I might ask you guys if you could leave me a message maybe. like, if I can find some way i can get all the messages without reading them. And then if I’m ever having a big panic attack, i can read them then and hopefully it’ll help me feel better! (tho lol if i opened that up to anybody then that weird recurring anon hater might troll me, so I’d like to just reserve it to close friends maybe) Oh, or maybe I could ask you guys to leave me drawing requests or writing requests or memes and stuff that I can work on while I’m gone? I suck at knowing what to draw, after all. And I also suck at being super slow to finish drawing, so this way it all works out!

But umm yeah basically, I’ll know more tomorrow when i go to meet them and have a tour. And I;m really anxious but also kinda excited, I hope it really helps me! But I’m still anxious and.. aaa... I just had to vent a bit to try and stay calm so I make a good first impression. i bought some new clothes to wear and I’m making sure my hair dye is even, cos I didnt have enough time to un-dye it back to a presentable colour :P

Oh and umm... its VERY UNLIKELY, so please dont worry! I don’t want to spread my worry to my friends! But umm.. just in case of the worst case scenario. I was told this would just be a first meeting, its not an intervention, I wont be taken there immediately. And I will be allowed to choose if I go, and all. BUT UMM If I don’t message anyone by this time tomorrow, I guess I didnt come back. I REALLY think I’m just being paranoid and I’m not gonna be locked up in some terrible illegal false therapy place! BUT IF I AM THEN YEAH JUST IN CASE If I am not dead, I will post tomorrow! Even if I’m too stressed and anxious to talk about what happened, I’ll make a short post just to tell you all I’m okay. if I don’t, then things went wrong. BUT THEY WONT! BUT I’M STILL ANXIOUS ABOUT IT! God I’m such an idiot...

also, of course, like usual, I’m still WAY MORE ANXIOUS about being a social failure than I am about dying or being electroshocked in an asylum XD I’m so terrified I’m gonna mess up and make them hate me aaaa I hope it goes well and I get accepted! And I hope the place isnt scary and the course looks like its actually gonna help me, and stuff. I’m way more scared of it being a social gauntlet than the electroshocks ITS NOT GONNA BE THE ELECTROSHOCKS, STUPID BUNNI but aaaa I’d rather have those than have to meet so many strangers, fuckkkk I’ve vented it out so i feel less scared I ate a big fruit smoothie full of powerful energy so I will be strong enough, and I will make another smaller one tomorrow morninG! Or.. umm.. I might be too scared to sleep and just keep going on this one, lol! and I’ve been stewing on it for a month now so a lot of the stress is out and I wrote down a big long list of questions I wanna ask, and I’m gonna have a notebook to write down anything they say and I’m gonna try on my new clothes tonight and get prepared but AAAA I dont have any formal clothes, and I dont know if i should even try and look formal or if i should look like how im gonna look when I’m there the whole time and i dont know if i should try and look as much like a girl as I can for the next six months, or if I should be honest about being trans, or if thats gonna hurt my chances of being accepted or anything... I dont know if my support worker told them when she was filling out the forms... and I keep washing my face trying to make the acne go away aaaaa why am i cursed with eternity acne, why am i the pimply faced teen even into adulthood why am i such a terrible brain broken adult who needs intensive therapy to begin with how on earth can i make myself look presentable when they already know i’m so trash gahHHHHHHHH