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gracemyface · 2 years

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Daryl: The Professional (Daryl Dixon x Young! Reader)

Chapter Six

Key:

Y/n - Your Name

Y/l/n - Your Last Name

Y/e/c - Your Eye Color

Y/h/c - Your Hair Color

Series Masterlist | Previous Part | Next Part

Summary: Things are unsettled at camp after the fight and Jim's breakdown, and the Reader finds themselves too worried about Daryl to really enjoy any of the festivities. Meanwhile, Daryl finds himself struggling in the city, wanting to return to camp but not wanting to face the wrath that would come from leaving Glenn behind. They're finally reunited when, in a turn for the worse, the camp is attacked by a wandering herd of walkers...

Warnings: Major Character Death, Canon Typical Violence/Gore, Some Angst.

A/n: I will have no real Lori slander. She did some shitty things, yes, but she loved her kids and the other women’s kids. Anyway, how do we like Daryl’s pov? I really, really struggled with it bc he’s such an asshole (I mean that affectionately.)

Shit really goes down this chapter. You guys have a slight breakdown, but it's been a long time coming. Character development ig?

also, do we want more stories from when the Reader, Daryl, and Merle were together?

Word Count: 4.8k

The first time Daryl ever saw you, the blood-soaked orphan with a far-off stare who’d barricaded themself into the corner of his father’s cabin, he felt a prickle of annoyance travel up his spine.

He didn’t know why you were out in the woods, or what had happened to result in you being covered in the crimson liquid (though, if his father hadn’t just been eaten in front of him, he would’ve assumed it was a pig slaughtering gone awry), or how you got into the cabin. He, especially at that moment, hadn’t even cared. He knew immediately that Jess wouldn’t have left you behind, cursed his father’s half-brother and his bleeding heart, and reduced you to nothing in his mind but another mouth to feed — a weak, sniveling mouth at that. He wasn’t ever keen on being around kids, smart-mouthed teenagers even less, and he didn’t really want to have to handle the collapse of society with anybody who couldn’t fend for themselves.

You showed him, though. You really did.

In those few days when it was just you and him after Jess took that fall off the truck when you officially became his responsibility, you proved you weren’t weak. You adapted to the end of the world quickly — learned to be quiet when you needed to be, to be useful most of the time, and to just eat whatever he managed to catch. And then you took on Merle in a way that nobody really dared to, most nights ending with you sending his older brother a heated gaze over the fire, the flames reflecting in your y/e/c eyes. Now, he still wouldn’t leave his life in your hands if he had the choice, even after you shot that man clear in the head back in Fontana and walked it off, but he knows for sure that he can trust you to handle your own — and, even if he doesn’t really appreciate being wrong, he can’t help but admire you for it… though, he’d never admit it aloud.

Standing in a long-abandoned lab building in an overrun Atlanta, the redneck stares down at the whimpering kid they picked up with pure disdain. His lips are curled back over his teeth in a sneer and his eyes are slanted as he stares down, internally picking apart every little thing the teenager does. That is what he expected from you.

What a shit show this little expedition-slash-rescue mission has turned out to be.

Not only was Merle not where they left him — currently down one hand and on the run through the sweltering pit of hell that has become of the once lively city — but now they’ve lost Glenn, too. If Daryl’d known that the younger man was going to get taken hostage by a bunch of wannabe gangsters and hold them up like this, he’d have left before these assholes could’ve even thought about getting into the truck with him.

He wanted to be the hell out of dodge three hours ago. “Them guns are worth more than gold. Gold won’t protect your family or put food on the table— you’re gonna give that up for that kid?”

Both of them give him a stern look, and he resists the urge to roll his eyes. Sure, the kid is nice and all, and half the camp (including you) would be really pissed off if they came back without him, but they can’t give up half of these guns. It’s either Glenn or a better chance at survival and he picks survival.

“If I knew we’d get Glenn back, I might agree. But, you think that Vato across the way is just gonna hand him over?”

Daryl nods in agreement. There’s that, too. They have no idea for certain if giving up the guns will even get them what they want. It might just be a trap that gets them all killed.

“You calling G a liar?” Their hostage— Miguel, was it?— inserts himself into the equation.

His mind once again drifts to you. If you were kidnapped, you wouldn’t be this stupid. You’d be smart enough to not mouth off to the people who held you captive, smart enough to figure out how to get yourself free, and smart enough not to make promises on his behalf that he might not be able to keep. You’d be mute, sitting there and watching your captors with those dangerous little eyes of yours.

This kid, though? Christ.

“Are you a part of this?” He crosses the room and leans down over the kid, slapping him lightly. “You wanna hold onto your teeth?”

T-Dog continues on, ignoring the violence. “Question is, do you trust that man’s word?”

“No, question is what are you willing to bet on it? Could be more than them guns. Could be your life. Glenn worth that to you?” He holds Rick’s gaze.

Truth be told, Daryl doesn’t quite get risking why anybody would risk their life for someone who wasn’t their blood. Glenn wasn’t any of their brother, son, or cousin — he was just some (former) pizza running kid that was on the highway, in the right place and at the right time when Shane spearheaded the group and lead them off the highway. Merle is probably the only person in the world that the redneck would even think to sacrifice anything for.

(Except maybe…)

“What life I have I owe to him. I was nobody to Glenn, just some idiot stuck in a tank. He could have walked away, but he didn't.” Rick loads his revolver and sticks it in his pocket. “Neither will I.”

Daryl scoffs in his soul. “So you’re gonna hand the guns over?”

“I didn't say that.”

The sheriff's voice has now taken a quality that has his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline.

“There's nothing keeping you two here. You should get out, head back to camp.”

T-Dog winces from his injuries, rubbing his head with his hand. “And tell your family what?”

Daryl and Rick stare at each other for a beat, a silent conversation happening between them, before he sighs shortly and reaches for a weapon. You’d probably be really pissed at him if he didn’t try, and he doesn’t want to deal with an emotional teenager right about now.

“Come on, this is nuts.” The boy sits back down when Daryl holds a hand out to him. “Just do like G says.”

The redneck ignores the whining boy and starts loading a shotgun. He needs this to be over as quickly as possible, and he needs the gangster assholes to go down without a fight.

He made a promise to come back alive, after all.

──────────────────

Jim has a heatstroke. Or, at least, that’s what Shane keeps dismissing it as. With the current state of the world, it could’ve very well been post-bite fever or a psychotic break.

He’d been digging for reasons unknown and unintentionally ruined the good news of the incredible amount of food they were going to have tonight in the process. Shane went all cop on him, which didn’t really surprise you after what happened with Ed, and the whole ordeal ended with Jim being tied to a tree after ranting and raving about how he left his family for dead. Everyone seemed to move on after that, the mothers dragged their children off to do schoolwork and a few of the other adults started setting up for the fish fry, but you found yourself a little nauseous.

It looked like he was digging graves, and why did he go into such intense detail?

Hiding away in your tent, you lay down on top of your sleeping bag and throw a ball of socks up just to catch it as it comes down. You hoped the action would be therapeutic — something to take your mind off the image of Jim’s poor family and how it bleeds into the image of your own — but the socks lack the weight of a real ball, and you can’t get out of your head.

Had washing your parents’ blood off your skin absolved you of any responsibility in their deaths? Were you doomed to end up like Jim?

Would you also, someday soon, have a psychotic break?

“Hey, Y/n?” Lori’s soft voice drifts through the thin fabric of your tent as he speaks timidly.

For a beat, you decide if you want to be silent and let her think you’re asleep. “Uh, yeah. What’s up?”

“Shane’s gonna teach Carl and Sophia to clean fish. He wanted to know if you’d join.”

You already know how to gut an animal. Squirrels, rabbits, and even a deer, once — Daryl had always been very big on you learning how to survive in the time you spent together, and that learning involved getting over the grossness of animal entrails very, very quickly. You were living through the end of the world, he’d reasoned, you don’t have time to be weak-stomached.

And you don’t want to spend time with Shane. That’s at the top of the list of things you don’t want.

But you’re not going to tell the woman that you dislike the man she was sleeping with, so you say, “I already know how to.”

There’s another beat of silence, and you can see the shadow of her willowy figure shift through the wall of the tent.

“Can I come in?”

You, certainly not expecting that, pause.

“Uh, sure.”

You sit up and push yourself to the back of the tent, watching as Lori unzips the door and ducks down inside. She’s got sincere eyes. So sincere that when she crouches down in front of you and meets your gaze, your skin starts to crawl.

“You feelin’ okay?”

You hate that question. Something burns behind your nose and you snuggle, shrugging pitifully. “Dunno. Pretty shit — what happened to Jim, I mean.”

Lori nods thoughtfully. “Yeah… it is.”

She looks a little pale. Surely, the death of children doesn’t sit well with a mother, even if they aren’t her own.

“I, uh, I understand that you’ve had a rough time.” The brunette doesn’t seem to know what to say to you, and you almost feel bad. “I mean, I don’t. Not really. And you don’t have to tell me anything.” She stresses that point with a sweep of her hand. “But I know something must’ve happened because everyone has something happen.”

You nod along, fiddling with a loose string on your jeans.

“I— Daryl and Merle don’t exactly seem like the easiest people to talk to, so if you ever need anything, me and Carol are right here, okay?”

“…okay.”

She smiles softly at you, and you spare one back. Lori and Carol are perfectly nice women, but you almost prefer Daryl, who has put a ban on personal questions and mostly ignores the emotional side of everything. You know you aren’t going to go to Lori and tell her things.

You wouldn’t even know where to start.

“Y’know, Carl likes you? Like, a lot.”

“Really?”

“Mhm. Sophia, too.”

Deep down, you know this is her trying to coax you out of the tent, but you let it boost your ego anyway. There’s something so incredibly normal (and endearing) about being looked up to — even if, sometimes, it gets a little annoying.

“And I’m guessing they would really, really like it if I went out there and helped Shane gut fish with ‘em?”

“Yeah. They would.”

Pursing your lips, you stare at the woman through slightly narrowed eyes before sighing and giving in.

“Alright…”

She grins widely and it kind of makes up for it.

Shane seems to be getting frustrated with the ordeal when you arrive, correcting Sophia’s stance with a tightness pulling at his smile as Lori gently nudges you along. You take the seat next to him without a word, pretending you don’t notice how he and the woman exchange a look, or how Carl shifts toward you on the log. It’s a hundred degrees out and he’s attached to your hip already, watching with those big blue eyes of his as you silently grab a fish off the pile and get to gutting it.

You can remember the steps well: descale, cut a slit in the belly, remove the guts and fins and head, and rinse.

“Look at you.” Shane compliments in a drawl, finally getting Sophia to do what he needed her to. “Like a swan to water.”

With a wrinkled nose, you drop fish innards into a bucket and turn to look at him as you shake the blood off your hands.

“Yeah, well, you spend enough time with the Dixons and you’ll learn how to gut anything.”

Something dark flashes across his face but you don’t care. You turn back to the fish, making a little joke to Carl about fish eyes that makes his entire face scrunch up and draws a long ‘Ewww’ from his lips. The laugh that bursts from you rattles in your bones.

──────────────────

“Hey, Dale, you got a?—“ The question dies on your lips as, upon stepping over the threshold of the RV, you stumble upon Andrea.

Every cabinet in the mobile home’s little kitchenette is open and she appears to be rooting through them desperately. At the sound of your voice, she pauses, looking up at you like she’s an animal and you just caught her looking through your garbage cans.

“Hi.”

“Hi?” You retort, shifting your weight. “Do you know where Dale is?”

“No, but I wish I did.” She heaves a sigh and runs her hand through her hair.

You don’t think you’ve ever seen the woman quite so frantic. Somewhere down the line, Andrea Harrison was a lawyer, and it’s hard to imagine her standing in the front of a courtroom, prim and proper and ready to kick some ass, with her standing in front of you like this.

“Can I help you any?” You ask just as Dale finally responds to his summons, stepping over the threshold with a quiet, “Did I hear my name?“

“Yeah.” Both you and Andrea answer at once, but you step back and gesture to her. “I think she needs help first.”

The blonde spares you a nervous smile.

“Alright. What do you need?”

“Wrapping paper, color tissue, anything?”

(Okay, maybe you regret letting her go first. At this rate, you’ll never get that bandaid.)

You stare at her with furrowed brows and a scrunched-up face.

“Seriously?” Dale shares in your confusion, glancing warily between the two of you. You offer him a shrug.

“How could you not have any?”

“Had I been informed of the impending apocalypse I'd have stocked up.”

Your snort at the old man’s dry words earns you a particularly derisive look from Andrea. “What? It’s the end of the world and you need wrapping paper. Shoot me for finding that amusing.”

“It’s Amy’s birthday tomorrow.” She says it like you should know that (probably because you should.) “I've been marking days on the calendar just to make sure.”

Your eyes wander over to the calendar on the wall of the RV as she lifts the necklace that she stole for a gift to her sister. Surely enough, Andrea has been crossing out the days on it.

Despite what you expected, there is no big circle over Amy’s birthday or anything, but you then figure that would probably ruin the surprise. Your older (in age and not maturity) blonde friend had come to you earlier in the week and lamented to you about the situation. While you’d always known that Andrea was the older of the pair, you didn’t know just how much until Amy filled you in on the ghosts of birthday past; she told you all about the older blonde’s broken promises to return to the nest for her little sister’s birthday, about how, more often than not, college and other things got in the way. She must’ve seen the calendar, too, and been disappointed by the apparent lack of acknowledgment that it was growing closer and closer to her favorite holiday.

“You can’t leave a gift unwrapped.”

“Oh, it’s good that you got something. I think she thinks you forgot.” That was told to you in confidence, but you stretched the truth a bit, so it isn’t that bad, right?

Dale and Andrea both look at you for a moment before he nods his head slowly. “Alright. Deep breath. I’m sure we’ll find something.” He turns back to face you. “What did you need?”

As if a lightbulb turned on over your head, you lift up your hand and the handkerchief that’s been wrapped around your minor flesh wound. “Carl cut me while I was demonstrating. I just need a bandaid.”

The old man shakes his head at you and steps around Andrea to go get the first aid kit, muttering to himself about the youth of today and how you’re going to lose your limb if you aren’t more careful.

──────────────────

As the grating summer sunlight fades into the darkness of dusk, taking the heat with it, the whole group (excluding the men in Atlanta and Ed, who refused to show his face around camp) sits down for the biggest meal most of them have had since the end of the world.

Cold beer and water are handed out as serving trays full of fried fish get passed around between the clusters of people who gather around their fires, the murmur of their happy chatter and soft laughter cutting through the blanketing sounds of the night. After the big fight and Jim’s foreboding breakdown, it’s nice to see everyone smiling and knowing that nobody’s going to ruin it this time — even if you can’t really find yourself joining in on the festivity.

“Pass the fish, please?”

“Here you go.”

“Man, I missed this.”

Sitting down on the end of one of the logs and feeling a little removed from everyone else, you wrap your coat tighter around your frame and let yourself worry about the group of men who went into the city. You don’t know Rick Grimes too well — he didn’t exactly give you the chance to get to know him, did he? — but you do know Glenn, T-Dog, and Daryl. You know that they’re very capable men and that, in certain circumstances, most of them have more experience with geeks than you do, but you can’t help but worry. The sun has long since set, meaning that the men, wherever they are, are stranded out in the dark. You don’t really remember the nights from when it was just you and Daryl (a combination of many sleepless nights and too-high adrenaline made the memories blur together), but you know enough to know that things do get worse when the sun goes down; geeks aren’t exactly quiet, but they can really sneak up on you when there’s no light and your body wants to sleep.

Experienced or not, they're going to be tired eventually, and, if Merle doesn’t try to kill them, something else will.

“Hey, Nervous Nellie.” Shane draws your attention to him by nudging your leg with his boot, “Yeah, you— how's the fish?”

Your eyes flit down to the bottle in his hand. Beer surely makes him a little looser.

“It’s alright.”

The ex-cop cocks a brow and echoes your response. “Alright?”

You really wish he’d just leave you alone.

Truth be told, you don’t really like the food. It’s bland and it tastes fishy in the worst way, and (even if you’ll admit that you’ve been eating it like a death row inmate getting their last meal as if indigestion isn’t a thing), chasing it down with water isn’t helping. Sure, it’s better than the food you’ve been eating for weeks — better than measly mushrooms, canned rations, and whatever game the Dixon brothers could hunt up — but it’s not great.

“It’s no cheeseburger.” You shrug, stabbing some more of the pale flesh with your fork. “But beggars and choosers, and all that.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Morales interjects lightheartedly, tipping the head of his beer in your direction. You smile a thin-lipped smile.

The arrival of his long-lost best friend has made Shane rather… unsettling. Whether it’s because of how cold Lori has been acting toward him or his superiority complex, you’re not sure. You just know that you want Daryl to come back, even if that means putting up with Merle for the rest of his life.

“I’ll be right back.” You dismiss yourself quietly to Jacqui when the temperature changes and your discomfort proves to be too much. She nods absentmindedly, too engrossed with whatever Dale is saying to really respond, and takes the plate from you when you hand it over.

You slip away into the darkness pretty easily, retreating to your tent in search of a sweatshirt, a breather, and maybe some reassurance that the redneck you’ve grown to like could survive whatever came at him.

With a press of your hand, the nylon flap of your tent opens and you step in. Pausing briefly to turn on the little electric lantern on the floor, you then scan the small space with your eyes, looking for anything that might pass as something with long sleeves. There’s already a pile of dirty clothes forming in the corner and most of your stuff is strewn about, but you ignore that and grab for your bag— an old duffel that belonged to Daryl’s deceased father. Curling your fingers around one of the fraying straps, you pull it up and toward you, rooting through the stuff in there until you find it. A red and black flannel.

Somewhere down the line — just like most of your stuff did — the flannel belonged to one of the Dixons. It hangs loose on your frame, the sleeves too long for your arms and the length stopping mid-thigh.

Buttoning it up, you cuff the sleeves and fiddle with the ends for a few minutes until they sit in a way you like.

Just as you’re able to breathe a deep breath and feel remotely at peace, a blood-curdling scream, followed by many more, cuts through the quiet dark of the night. Adrenaline is the first thing you feel, your heart beating in your ears and your lungs squeezed of air, and worry is the second, fear for your friends forcing your legs to move and push out of your tent again. Though, before you can do that, you’re greeted by two rotting hands shoving their way through the opening and grabbing at your shoulders in a surprisingly iron grip. The shock of seeing a geek so up-close causes you to stumble back, but your ankle twists harshly — sending you sprawling to the ground with the monster right on top of you.

“Oh, god!” The cracked scream leaves your lips, the now-shattered glass from the lantern digging into the skin of your leg.

The walker is — or, was — a man. It gnashes its teeth and pushes toward you, the sound of the bones clacking together making you whimper. Is this what your parents felt in their last moments? Jim’s wife and kids? Very quickly, your arms start to tremble under the weight of the much larger body, and you decide to not resign yourself to the same fate. Craning your head, you search for a weapon.

There’s no way for you to reach your gun right about now, which you can’t really shoot with one hand anyway, but there has to be something else — anything you can use.

As the walker claws desperately at your shirt and groans miserably, you have to make the rash decision to remove one hand from its chest and give yourself less leverage to reach blindly behind you. Panicked breaths puff past your lips and your head starts to feel light as you grab at your stuff. Your fingers tightening around your sleeping bag, you give a harsh tug and hear the faintest sound of objects clattering around. The walker pushes down on your forearm as your fingers touch what feels like the hilt of a knife. Daryl must’ve thrown it in with your belongings a while back.

Letting out a strangled and panicked sound, you take the weapon and stab the walker with all your might.

The steel of the blade pops the walker’s eye upon entry and slides right through to its brain. Closing your eyes and mouth, you whip your head to the side as a mixture of ink-like blood and gel-like eye fluids drip down the hilt of the knife and onto your face. Its body, now eerily still and limp, falls on top of yours, making it hard to fully inhale as stuttered, panicked breaths rack your chest. As the sounds of gunshots and screams continue from outside the tent, you roll the body off you and force yourself up on your knees, gasping breaths through frightened sobs as you try to tug the knife out of the dead head.

As you pull it free, another walker stumbles into your tent and tries to pounce on you. Before it can bite a chunk out of your body, the tent door is being pushed open and a bullet is shattering its skull.

“Y/n!?” Glenn’s voice is just audible over the deadly mixture of your heartbeat and painful ringing in your ears, his eyes wide as he hopes what he just shot was actually dead before he shot it. “Y/n?!”

“Glenn.” You whimper, kicking the other dead body away from you. Your alleviation that the men from Atlanta are alive is short-lived.

“Oh.” He breathes in relief and slings the gun over his shoulder, reaching out to hold your forearms. “Oh. You’re okay. Oh, god. That’s good.”

“Daryl— is— is Daryl?” You can barely form words, your fingernails digging into his skin.

“Daryl’s fine. C’mon. We have to get out of here!”

He ushers you to your feet. The pain in your calf worsens as you stand up on shaky legs, every movement causing the glass to shift in your skin, and you stumble forward into his chest.

“I can’t— I hurt my leg.” You hiccup and Glenn sighs softly, wrapping one of your arms around his shoulders so he can half carry you.

“I have you.”

Glenn leads you out into the chaos. What’s left of camp isn’t very different from what Sedalia was like all those weeks ago — bodies, both rotting and fresh, littering the floor and the once-contained fires roaring loudly against the stones. Howls of anguish and sobs fill the air.

“Y/n! Y/n!” Daryl’s southern drawl echoes through the remains of the camp, worry, fear, and anger lacing his words. “Where the hell is the kid?!”

The survivors are all gathered around the RV, and you watch as he shoves Shane lightly for getting in his way.

“Where are they? Did you leave them alone?” Rick tacks on as T-Dog tries to get in between them, his son in his arms. “Has anyone seen Y/n?”

As the moonlight casts a blue shadow on your blood and grime covered skin, you let go of Glenn and find it within yourself to shout. “I’m right here!”

The redneck’s head snaps over to you and he abandons his antagonism against the ex-cop in favor of running over to you. Daryl grabs your face in both of his hands and starts scanning over your features.

“You alright? Any of this blood yours?” He whispers gruffly.

“I’m… I mean I hurt my leg but otherwise I’m fine. No bites.” Your hollow voice cracks slightly as you speak, and your gaze flits away from him as he bends down to check your leg. “Is that?…”

Andrea sits, crumpled at the foot of the door into the RV. In her lap is Amy. Sweet Amy. Amy, who missed texting more than most and still had this beautiful ability to wonder in her twenties. Amy, whose birthday is tomorrow.

Amy, Amy, Amy.

Your blood runs cold and your stomach drops so fast you might fall over as the older blonde’s bloody hands brush across your dead friend’s pale skin.

“Don’t look.” Your guardian orders once he’s followed your gaze, but it’s too late.

Tears, burning hot and long coming, spill out of your eyes and down your cheeks. Daryl sighs and, because the attention isn’t on either of you, lets you curl into his chest, his hand rubbing down your back in an attempt at comforting you.

It’s useless, though.

Andrea’s sobs filter through the air as a heavy silence overcomes the rest of the group, each and every one of them consumed with the weight of what they’ve lost.

──────────────────

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@stawvberrymilktae / @vilaneiie / @letxhyng / @fnicolpcab / @redneckstrash / @dixonarchives / @howlerwolfmax / @spenciepoo338 / @luvelyxp / @quietly-scrolling-through / @btsiguess-kpop / @littledxve / @mich1551-blog / @anunstablefangirl / @furiousfandomenthusiast / @ineedmorefanfics2 / @justababygaysworld /

#daryl:the professional #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon imagine #the walking dead #the walking dead imagine #the walking dead x reader #gender neutral reader #young reader #carl grimes #glenn rhee #lori grimes #tdog #dale horvath #carol peletier #sophia peletier #zombie apocalypse #platonic fic

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hayleysayshay · 2 years

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Okay what r ur thoughts on Percy and vexs kids i must know

Omg anon thanxxxx I have many thoughts. I don't know why i gave a few sentences for the de rolo siblings but for the kids you're getting a good chunky boi lol.

One thing is that I keep flip flopping whether or not they’re half-elves or quarter elves (as Vex has the blood of a full elf in her, they could be half elves in an interpretation of lore). I tend to just prefer half-elves so I know they’ll outlive Vex tbh though I am not wedded to the idea.

Vesper: She is the oldest child and acts like the oldest child. She loves Whitestone and as soon as she turns into a teenager she wants to rule. She feels a bond with Pelor as she's plane touched, and will often pray for her family's sake when they're going through difficult times, especially when her parents and aunt seem sad, lost, stuck in grief and trauma. She differs with Percy on this a lot, but she gets along well with both her parents, other than matters of Whitestone. She gets along well with Cassandra, who does eventually cut through to Vesper that she can't just give her whole life up to Whitestone at a young age, so I like to think she agrees and Vesper spends time in other cities learning and studying for a year or so, keeping close to Pelor's temples, but just feels homesick for Whitestone so would never leave long-term. Enjoys riding but doesn't enjoy the outdoors much and never liked hunting or anything to do with the grey hunt as a special force, and isn't physically inclined and only knows 'a few' offensive cleric spells. Men and women throw themselves at her feet with marriage proposals, not sure if she'd ever accept any.

Wolfe: Slightly older than Leona and proud of it. He is a smarmy lil boy who think he's the absolute shit, and think he's more charismatic than he actually is. Of all the siblings he wants the glory of being a hero like Vox Machina the most, and becomes a fairly good all-rounded fighter. However, despite being a bit of an apparent fuck-boi, he has a childhood sweetheart he marries early on.

Leona: More level-headed than her brother. She's less of adventurer and has Percy's tinkering spirit. Unlike Percy, she sits and talks his ear off when she's tinkering. She is very chatty and friendly. She loves building things mechanically but doesn't have the aversion to magic her father does. Bit more of a flirt than Wolfe, string of broken hearts behind her. I could see her moving away to help continue with the rebuilding of Emon when she's in her twenties.

Wolfe and Leona: Vex notes how as the pair are twins they're close, but they don't have that intense, dependent bond that she and Vax had, which is probably a good thing becaue these two grew up not needing to depend on each other. Unlike Vesper, both enjoyed the outdoors, exploring, the grey hunt. Both are far more extraverted. When they're adults, they decide to travel, and Leona keeps Wolfe in check. They join an adventuring party and do some good deeds (far more minor) EDIT AS I AM WRITING THIS WHAT IF THEY JOINED THE DARRINGTON BRIGADE??? like they become loyal members throughout their lives, they sometimes just join an adventure as a twin bonding exercise despite living apart.

Vax'ildan: They call him 'Dan.' A mumma's boy when he's young. Good with animals, the grey hunt makes him cry, and he becomes a vegetarian (at least for a period of time). Close with Auntie Keyleth and enjoys Zeprah a lot, I could see him joining the Ashari as a druidy boy. I think when he's young, because he's so close with Vex he just doesn't see much of his father. But as he gets older, he likes taking his textbooks on animals and nature into his father's workshop and quietly reading whilst his father works, enjoying the background noise his father makes whilst he creates. Both get that the other needs space (this quiet time is sometimes ruined by Leona, who eventually realises that she should maybe leave them alone), and Dan is close with both.

Gwendolyn: A little angel girl who just happens to look like a devil. When she's a baby she cries a lot and Percy soothes her better, I think because he had the pact with Ipkesh. Vex and Percy are honest with Gwen and the children (as their other kids could have a tiefling because of Percy) that Percy is the reason they have a tiefling BUT with the rest of Whitestone and visiting parties Vex is like 'yeah?? maybe it was me??? what of it??'. Whitestone accepts Gwendolyn as she is (said before but I think after everything that happened in whitestone, the people of whitestone would be quick to realise that tieflings are not a cause of evil or pain) and Gwen has a very peaceful, loving childhood. Still daddy's little girl growing up, but as she get's older she enjoys the grey hunt with her mother, and I just picture Gwen with a full body camoflage outfit on with only her eyes visible to give her the ability to blend in. She does enjoy combat sports a little, but is mostly 'dainty' and charming and friendly, Whitestone adore her. People start proposing marriage to her as well. Maybe she's a little chaotic and accepts a few, before ending them shortly after, but she would settle down and be adored by a loving partner. I think she could rule Whitestone in Cassandra's place on the council with Vesper--- I think Gwen would be a little naïve/easily swayed on her own, but would be a very dedicated ruler for the people and adored.

#vox machina #de rolo kids #de rolo family #percy de rolo #vex'ahlia #perc'ahlia #gwendolyn de rolo #critical role #vesper elaina de rolo #maybe i just want a tiefling ruler okay #like honestly i have no sexuality hc's for these characters so imagine who you want #but now im imaginging wolfe's childhood sweetheart to be a boy and im in love so #i have been waiting for so long for someone to ask me cr headcanons #thank you #i mean ill dump them at some point anyway but

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revvnant · 11 months

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Misconception: He didn't love his brother. Is that.... True?

send me a misconception you think people have about my character and I’ll explain if it’s true or not.

heehee. so i'm gonna say heated things in this post, anon, and it's not because you asked the question. i love this question. when i strawman in here i'm referencing things i've seen in the tags and on other social media over the years. anyways, my first response when people bring this up is usually. that is an extremely complex thing to ask a teenager in michael's position. now, i'm not saying michael is The Victim, given that evan is literally dead. i'm extremely pro-michael responsibility. while it looks like the argument over whether or not he's the bully brother has died off somewhat ( or maybe i've just cultivated my experience a bit better lol ) i used to see so many Fourth Afton Siblings and it drove me insane. i craved that moral ambiguity, that is to say the ambiguity of the action / motivation, and the cloud that it left hanging over michael's story. i liked how it served a narrative where michael callously disregarded his sibling's safety and it got him killed, only for michael to try to be the best brother he could to his sister and lose her anyways, and in much the same way. i loved that michael wasn't perfect and rankled at the push for him to be distanced from the incident because it felt like people weren't willing to say that michael could be both a victim of abuse and a bully who got a kid mauled by taking a malicious prank too far.

which brings me back to the complexity. while it does not excuse michael's actions and certainly doesn't bring evan back, i don't think it's... disrespectful? choosing a side?? to say that michael was also in a bad situation. like. based solely off what we see in the games, michael and evan are on their own. we always see them home alone in an empty house. evan walks to and from freddy's without supervision ( not super unusual, but also something that, at the time, was becoming less common -- i like it as a prelude to the mci, where parents would stop allowing their children to go out alone ). he's spending time at a venue he not just dislikes, but is terrified of, on the regular -- and we don't know why, but i've always assumed that either william is bringing him to work with him or michael is dragging him there after school ( with evan then being free to walk home if he wants to, but he's also clearly discouraged from doing so, given the number of times he tries to 'escape' ). and now he's having his birthday party there. at the very least, his father is negligent. the only family member we see him with is michael.

we're entering headcanon territory now, so be warned of that. while i do a lot of research to back this up, i will also be upfront in saying that i'm spinning a narrative because i think it's appropriate for the setting and want to explore it. hence, there's nothing authoritative here, and i understand if it's not people's cup of tea. that said, michael is the oldest afton sibling. in a lot of places, especially that part of america, eldest / older children are expected to help raise their younger siblings. given that we don't see william around, let alone a mother, i've always come away with the impression that michael was left with a lot of the daily care of the kids. get them to and from school, help with their homework, make sure they shower and brush their teeth, etc. to some people that may sound extreme or dramatic, but it's reality for a lot of kids. they're made to grow up more quickly than their siblings or only children out of necessity. this isn't a blanket judgment of this practice, because 1) utah is not the only place on earth this happens and the cultural context in other places is different, so i don't want to smear that and 2) teaching children some responsibility is not necessarily a bad thing in my eyes.

it is, however, a lot of pressure on a kid. i've made michael four years older than evan and eight years older than elizabeth. those aren't insignificant age gaps, but while he slots more 'naturally' into that parental role for his sister, he and evan are much closer in age. he's twelve when evan is eight, fifteen when evan is eleven ( where i've placed the birthday party in the timeline ). he wants to be hanging out with friends and doing his own thing, and he's being held back ( in his mind ) by having to watch his siblings and, horror of horrors, take his brother with him when he goes places. probably not unusual for where they're living, again, but still. this would normally lead to some inter-sibling resentment, but there are additional layers to this.

one, i think michael struggles in school due to his situation at home. i think both the absence of his parents and the responsibility of watching his siblings are crunching his brain, and he's mentally ill and dyslexic in a school system not designed to accommodate him. if he doesn't make sure his brother's homework gets done, he gets in trouble. forget his own homework. if william and diane are working late, he's responsible for dinner. then he has to get them to bed. once that's done, he can do his own work / shower / whatever else he needs to do. he's exhausted.

two, he is being abused. the degree to which varies from person to person but this is my blog and i say that william was physically abusive. not only do i think there's more than enough evidence of this in the games ( midnight motorist, his comfort killing children when he has kids of his own ), but secondary research has all but proven to me that you almost never see cases of child killing without abuse going on in the house. you just. as a baseline. are not simultaneously a kind parent and a child murderer. to have your own children and to be comfortable killing somebody else's children may seem like two separate things in fiction, which is why i'm not against people saying that william was 'only a little' / not physically abusive, but in real life that just... doesn't happen. and my blog for the sci-fantasy horror series about possessed bear robot is historically inspired so we all just have to live with that.

a few things with the abuse, though. firstly, michael is learning violence in the home. he is being conditioned to accept physical harm as the norm, and his father is setting the example that the right way to cope with your emotions is to lash out. and not only is mike experiencing the normal heightened emotional state of puberty, he's angry and confused and upset because his father is mistreating him. he's being hurt and he has no one to appeal to ( another big historical theme for me: a lack of intervention in hurricane; not their children, not their problem, and heaven forbid someone tell another man how to run his household! ), he can't get away from it unless he wants to pack up a little rucksack and flee ( i do believe this happened at least once and he quickly got found and returned to his parents ), so he just has to sit. and stew in it. and not understand why it's happening. because there is no good reason for it. i'm very much not like. 'william abused michael because michael acted out!' the opposite, in fact. michael acted out because he was being abused -- and because he was a teenager! and that idea always rubbed me the wrong way because, to be quite honest, abusive parents do not need a 'reason' to hurt their kids. they don't need an inciting incident. i know parents are people, but abusive parents -- parents with a pattern of violence -- are gonna do what they do regardless of how their kids act. they can say there's a reason for it, but if there isn't? they'll invent one. so there shall be no 'mike was a bully and william started punishing him more harshly' here.

secondly, michael has to cope with his situation differently than his siblings. evan is a crybaby -- and rightfully so, given what he's going through! he also lives with an abusive father, though i don't believe he's william's usual target; that house is a nightmare and he is in it with the rest of them. plus, his brother bullies him! i would cry! but i think the crying is something that michael grows to resent very quickly. michael isn't 'allowed' to cry; he's a 'man', his father expects more from him. michael 'has it worse' than evan, so what does evan even have to cry about? michael doesn't cry when he gets mistreated, and 'nobody's' mistreating evan. evan, as far as michael is concerned, is being waited on hand-and-foot by him. he's the one helping with the homework and tying the shoelaces and walking him to school and picking him up at the end of the day. he's the one losing sleep and weekends with friends to take care of him. what the fuck could evan ever have to cry about? by that logic, maybe michael should give him something to cry about -- like william gives him something to cry about. because that's what real men do.

thirdly, as implied above, michael is the barrier. he's the oldest, he's the one who looks like william, he's the puberty-riddled mentally ill punk-leaning problem child. he is his father's target of choice. and i think he took pride in that fact when it first began, that he could take it, that he could serve as a shield. but he's a child and that didn't last long. how could it? he was being hurt. he just does not have the capacity to be like, 'no, i can do this for their sakes and be happy about it, it's good that it's me and not them.' few adults can do that without developing resentment for the people they're 'defending' ( especially when that's not what's really happening -- they're not 'defending' their siblings / children / etc. from anything, they're just being attacked ). but michael can't fight back against william. william is a grown adult and his father. so he gets mad at the only person he can do anything against in this equation: the other victim.

so we have a kid at an age where he normally wouldn't want to be hanging out with his younger brother, but he doesn't really have a choice. maybe some teasing would be normal, but this boy has been subjected to violence, and has, in his frustration and confusion, turned this violence upon his only feasible target. and it is violent. it's horrible. but is this hatred? is this evidence that michael hates his brother? i don't think so. i think they are in a fucking horrendous situation and they're just trying to survive. i don't think removed and sweeping concepts like 'michael loves his brother' or 'michael hates his brother' ( as if the two are mutually exclusive? ) apply here. michael took care of his brother. you could call that love. michael tormented his brother. you could call that hate. michael intended to frighten and maybe even hurt evan, but not to kill him, and it still resulted in evan's death. did he do it out of hate? if hate here is shorthand for 'a desire to see evan dead', no. if it's 'a desire to make evan uncomfortable and upset', maybe!

but like. i dunno. abusive households are like a pocket dimension. you need years of therapy to unpack that shit. i don't think sitting down and casting judgment on michael based on whether or not one believes that he 'hated' his brother is fair or worthwhile. with all that going on above, it's not even a thought exercise i'm interested in, if the end goal is to rank michael as a Good or Bad person. rather, i want to explore what would lead to an incident like that. maybe michael loved his brother, but in that house, expressing that love in any sort of healthy way was not an option. and that's far more compelling to me than 'michael was born bad' or 'michael is an unfeeling monster'.

#anonymous #W3. HEADCANONS #abuse cw #child death cw

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proudfreakmetarusonniku · 2 years

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Wait the Sims have lore? I thought it was just a funny sandbox?

Oh, it is a funny sandbox, but the developers had a lot of fun setting up the drama in the premade neighbourhoods and linking the games together chronologically! I've talked about the iconic Bella Goth, so I'll also go into just. The whole lore of Strangetown. Because it's my favourite town in the Sims franchise and it's bonkers.

The town itself is tiny, being a small desert town barren of much life. There's a few extra roads off the main one, but it is a small, out of the way place. The roads have lovely names such as Cover Up Road, Road to Nowhere, and Dead End Lane. It's also described in game as a place truth seekers move to, due to it's secrets, and where nothing is as it seems. Basically, combine Gravity Falls with Area 51, and you've got the vibe of Strangetown.

Five families live in Strangetown, and there are two premade families for you to move in. All of whom- with the exception of one, who's designed to be a straight man, have some insane lore, both in the sense of it being good and in the sense of it being unhinged. Here's a recap of each and every one because I adore them all.

The Grunts are a military family, with the father, General Buzz Grunt, running the household like a bootcamp since the tragic divorce and later tragic murder of his ex-wife Lyla. He's not the murderer, to clarify, we'll talk about her later. General Buzz has a grudge against the strange and unusual, and especially the supernatural, and discriminates heavily against his alien neighbours, the Smiths.

His three children, Tank, Ripp, and Buck, all have their own issues. Tank is the only one to go along with his father's vision, and deeply looks up to him, but he doesn't have any friends and feels pressured to join the military. Ripp is a teenage slacker who doesn't get along with his father and is bullied by his older brother, but who has a close friendship with Ophelia Nigmos and Johnny Smith, who I'll get into a little later. Finally, Buck is a sensitive soul, who wants to become a stylist, and doesn't know why his father doesn't pay attention to him.

The Curious family are made up of three brothers, Pascal, Lazlo, and Vidcund, who are alien enthusiasts who have gotten a closer encounter with them than they could have ever expected. See, Pascal was abducted by aliens and returned home pregnant! Not only that, but Vidcund will also get abducted by aliens if you play through the scenario the game gives you playing as the Curious family. Of course, being a bunch of nerds who wanted to learn more about aliens, the brothers are excited and happy about raising some alien kids, so all is well!

Outside of the new arrivals to the family, Pascal is logical minded, but not cruel, and is enemies with the more evil Loki Beaker, partially due to a past crush on his wife Circe when they were teenagers and partially due to how he mistreats Pascal's close friend Nervous Subject. Vidcund is serious and exact, and used to date Circe as a teenager before she got with Loki, though he still holds a torch for her. Lazlo is less serious and more chilled out than his brothers, and is in love with a townie called Crystal Vu. They also have a sister- Jenny Smith, who's just as alien mad but in a differing way.

Speaking of the Smiths, they're perhaps the strangest family in Strangetown, both due to being literal aliens (mostly), but also due to being suprisingly normal despite all that. PT9 (short for Pollination Technician Nine) is a stay at home dad who adores his family even more than his hobbies of caring for his lawn, collecting coupons, and staring at the sky, while his wife, Jenny Smith, is a career woman and nurse who wishes she could spend more time with her family. Also, she really likes green.

The two of them have two kids, Johnny and Jill. Johnny is soon to become an adult, and he desperately wants to be cool and popular. He's going out with Ophelia Nigmos, and is friends with Ripp Grunt, but he and Tank Grunt are enemies. Meanwhile Jill is a little nerd who loves dolphins and wants to be a deep sea welder.

Onto the Specter family, which consists of Olive Specter, wan elder nearing the end of her life, and her teenage niece Ophelia Nigmos. Olive Specter is, to be blunt, a serial killer. Her house is full of the graves of the Sims she's killed, and she has a want to invite over her enemy General Buzz Grunt- presumably to make him her next victim. Her potential victims include her sister and brother in law, two out of three of her husbands, Lyla Grunt, her own parents, and many strangers, all of whom died either by drowning, starvation, electrocution, or fire, and while obviously in game your sims can't murder anyone in these ways these deaths were likely picked as they are ways you could theoretically kill someone.

The reason she's a serial killer is implied to be because she is in love with the Grim Reaper. In fact, they are heavily implied to have had a child together. However, she neglected her son and he was taken away by the social worker, and adopted by the Beakers as a test subject and (presumably) renamed to Nervous Subject.

Ophelia Nigmos lives with Olive after the suspicious death of her parents. Understandably, she's incredibly anxious about things, and is described as a hypochondriac. She cares deeply about family, and is dating Johnny Smith along with being friends with Ripp Grunt, despite the animosity between their guardians.

Finally for families that already live in the neighbourhood, and I have been saving best for last, is the Beaker family. As can be judged by the name, the Beakers are scientists, and mad ones at that. Loki Beaker is seeking the recognition he knows he deserves, and Circe knows 238 ways to make people scream and is eager to get a promotion. While mean and very very obviously evil, they are close with each other.

However, what few people know is that in secret, they are performing unethical human experimentation in their own home. They adopted a child from the social worker to use as their test subject, who gained the name Nervous Subject due to his tendency of twitching and blinking a lot. Despite his erratic personality- being incredibly sloppy, cripplingly shy, overly active, serious to a fault, and incredibly grouchy- his focus in life is on having a family, which is perhaps ironic for the son of Death himself.

Onto the families without houses but able to be placed in the world, theres the Singles- four roommates, including the Curious's half alien half-sisters and Loki's sister- and Ajay Loner, worlds most normal man, but they're less involved in the lore. Love them too though.

#sims #sims lore #Sims 2 #strangetown

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stregoniconiconii · 1 year

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not shitting on anyone who actually enjoys this but “mom and dad” steve and eddie with a side of “aunt” robin was always a boring hc to me for few reasons one of which being that i personally was never able to get into steddie but also robin always seems to be written as someone completely uninterested in being around the kids and that’s so lame when erica and max are literally right there

yeah the steddie as mom and dad joke got old for me quick, especially when ppl got a bit too serious about it (ive legit seen fics where the kids started calling Steve 'mom' as like not a joke. which was so bizarre to read) I do think Steve is a mom friend but he's like. the kids' big sibling, like he looks out for them and wants to keep them safe but the dynamics have always read more sibling like than parent-child like. and Eddie does like to take ppl under his wing but I think it's less about wanting to be a father or older sibling figure to these kids and more about viewing himself as some sort of champion the weak which I think over the season does turn into more of a sibling relationship with dustin (but then he dies rip)

I do enjoy Steddie and I do like the "mom and dad" joke but it's sometimes just the execution or playing into it a bit too much that gets to me. like there's the older teens helping the younger teens sort through a conflict or whatever and then there's actual parenting. it's kind of awkward to read sometimes, especially when ppl write Steve taking in max after the events of s4. like she does in fact have a mother even if she's not super present at the moment

with robin, I think it's a case of ppl writing her as not liking kids bc they have weird ideas about lesbians and parenthood. like oh she's a lesbian so obviously having children is gross to her which is just dfjhdfjh okay. or they're trying to girl boss her bc it's not very girl boss for a woman to have aspirations of motherhood. tbh I don't know what robin thinks of children or becoming a parent but I don't think she's like completely uninterested. in Lucas on the line, she helps the kids sort through their conflict and then gives Lucas advice about his relationship with max which was so <3 I think since she got to know the kids when they were baby teenagers rather than middleschoolers like Steve she's more inclined to be level with them like she treats them more like friends than Steve does. I think ppl forget sometimes that the age difference is only about 3-5 years, like by s4 the kids are 14-15 and the older teens are 18-19, with Eddie being most likely 20? it's an age difference but it's not enough to completely make a friendship weird

erica's relationships with Steve, Robin, and Eddie also have sooo much potential, like I think the fact that both Erica and Eddie are super weird and intense is very fun. and robin looking out for baby lesbian Erica when she starts figuring that out is very sweet to me. and im a firm believer in Steve keeping his promise to keep giving Erica free ice cream for life so they regularly meet up for that to happen (they're both "not nerds" but are in fact very nerdy in their own way) basically I need more Erica centric fic

#stranger things

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charmixpower · 2 years

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With fairies living so long I can totally see why they decided to become teachers, I mean with a long lifespan what else are you supposed to do. Now the winx writers arent the brightest but yk

I absolutely do not see it. Logistics about teaching licenses aside, there is other things they could be doing. Like:

Tecna could go become a world renowned scientist, she's already building things that are very advanced. Go publish a book on your theories and join the scientific community properly

Stella has a fashion line she should be setting up

not to mention Solaria would of been slightly destabilized by countess Cassandra, and she could be doing her princess dutys

Musa could be recording her first album, or her second album

or going on a universe wide road trip to learn every instrument in the world

Flora in s1 was trying to battle deforestation so she could start championing that again, she's the guardian fairy of nature. Environmental activism is absolutely in her future

Give Flora some time and a dead planet, she'll have that thing alive quicker than anyone expected

Bloom has the reinstalled Domino to worry about and where she fits in, not to mention how this is going to relate to her earth parents

I mean seriously, how is Bloom being a princess going to affect Mike and Vanessa?? Do they get titles as well??

Aisha's planet has been going though the ringer all last season so she could be doing disaster relief

Aisha could also be trying to reconcile with her parents

Maybe later in life when they're weaker and older and have less energy to put into pet projects that would make more sense. Giving your information to the younger generations once you can't put it to use anymore and all, but I have no clue why they'd settle down into a teaching job just out of highschool. Like you killed Valtor at 18! (19 for Stella) You haven't even finished mental puberty yet!!! Go be famous and act like teenagers

And there's also the fact that, do they even like kids? Tecna, Stella, and Aisha sure seem not to, and that's not a good recipe for a teacher. Not to mention do any of them even have a passion for teaching? Because Stella sure seems like she doesn't, Aisha doesn't like dealing with people that she didn't carefully select period, and Bloom has only been in this word for like 3 years. She doesn't know what the fuck is going on. Not to mention that none of them (except Tecna and Flora) have the patience and maturity to be teachers

Flora tracks, she likes kids and she likes teaching/helping

Tecna would also track if she was teaching seniors, I genuinely think she'd get bored of teaching freshman in a week because the material isn't challenging enough

I say all this bc all though out s1-3, especially in s1, the girls spoke about what they'd do with their lives after Alfea and then in s4 they just...haven't left. And there all teaching the same class???? Makes absolutely no sense lmaooo

#winx club #winx season 4 #asks #rus chatters #dont take this agressively or anything. I really like teacher!Flora and Professor!Tecna i just think the other girls would absolutely never

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tenthgrove · 3 years

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Hello, I just saw that you opened your request. I'm the one who ended up writing a whole prompt! Imagine this for each member from La Squadra: they had an one-night stand with a random woman, she accidentally got pregnant and decided to have the baby without telling them. After a while, the woman got ill and passed away, but not without before sending her child with their father (let's imagine she has the direction of their hideout even if it's ooc, or she knew where they hang out). So, one day someone knocks the door and introduces themselves as the kid of one of the members/if it's too young, someone left them on the door with a explainatory note... How do you think each member would react by discovering that they have a child and they're supposed to take care of them from now? You can make each kid with different ages if you want, it would be funny to see Prosciutto or Ghiaccio dealing with a rebellious teenage son or Risotto trying to take care of a toddler, but I guess not all of them would want to keep their children. Sorry if it's a lot, haha.

La Squadra did a Diavolo

La Squadra x Reader, Platonic/Familial, SFW

A/N: your idea about mixing up the ages got me thinking, and I ended up using randomisers for the children’s ages (though I did consciously change some of them) and genders. It added a fun bit of chance to this prompt.

Formaggio, with an 8 year old daughter

The whole thing feels surreal to him. There's a little girl on his doorstep calling herself his daughter and by all evidence, it's true. He doesn't really know how to feel about it at first. On one hand it's kind of cool he had a kid all this time and you're clearly a lovely girl, but on the other hand, what the fuck? Still, not being the practical sort, his sense of sentiment far outweighs any question of how he's actually going to look after a child, so without much deliberation, Formaggio agrees to let you stay.

Formaggio isn't too experienced with kids but he doesn't exactly dislike them either, so he figures he knows what to do. At your age you can at least do the basics of looking after yourself, so he isn't too worried. The only problem is that if you ask him to cook for you or help clean your room, his eyes go very wide. He never quite picked up those skills himself, he's afraid, so you're going to have to ask someone else for that one.

The good news is that Formaggio is a very easy-going, fun sort of dad, who is a natural at playing with you and lets you do what you want when he can't be around. He quickly gets used to showing affection to you, letting you cuddle up to him on the sofa in front of the squad and even carrying you around once in a while. He gives amazing piggy back rides.

The bad news (or more good news, depending on how you are) is that you have to leave school. Risotto says that at your age you can't be trusted not to tell anyone your new family is a bunch of assassins, and taking you to and from school each day would be too much of a hassle. Nonetheless, you're welcome to continue your education from home, though Formaggio will hardly push you if you don't keep up with it. Melone is much better on that front.

Despite the risk, Formaggio can't bring himself to force you to lose all your friends, so he lets you keep meeting with them. Furthermore, he knows a few guys in other squads who have kids about your age, so he's happy to introduce you to them if you want a friend you can be more honest about your home life with. Formaggio might not have a clue what he's doing, but he's doing pretty good.

Illuso, with a 3 year old daughter

He's been fearing this day would come for years. A small child knocking on the door of the hideout, holding a note in hand addressed to him, just as a shady looking car drives away. Yeah, Illuso remembers your mother pretty well and he remembers the distinct lack of precautions they took during their encounter. Now, the consequences of his actions are here at his house, and Risotto is currently standing in the doorway of the office looking ready to give him the biggest dressing-down of his life.

After his tongue-lashing, Illuso frantically agrees to take responsibility for what he's done and see to it that you're well cared for, and begins the task of looking for relatives who might take you. Unfortunately, none of your mother's family can be traced, and Illuso can't exactly call up his own right now. Leaving you on the door of an orphanage isn't an option because you're old enough to say where you've come from, so it looks like for the time being, Illuso is stuck with you.

Initially, Illuso is not thrilled. He pawns you off on Melone, Sorbet and Gelato whenever possible and tries to live his life as before. But increasingly, he can't help finding himself visiting your room whenever he's stressed or has had a bad mission. There's something so pure about gently stroking your hair as you sleep. He can't help but feel... attachment, as he rubs his thumb against your tiny palm.

From then on, Illuso starts to make a point of spending more time with you. You're at the age where you just want to touch and explore everything you're given, so letting you make a mess with his makeup and beauty creams is an easy way for him to observe and learn about you. He even starts doing the more practical things like washing and feeding you every so often.

Eventually, Illuso becomes an actual father to you. He loves you as a father should and puts his time into making you happy. Illuso is glad he didn't give you away, as you've opened his eyes to so many things. For the first time in many years, he feels human. He feels redeemable.

Prosciutto, with a 13 year old son

As you tell him your story Prosciutto racks his brains. He didn't have many one-night-stands in his youth but the ones he did have were so far back he barely remembers them, so your mother's name doesn't immediately ring any bells. If it weren't for the striking resemblance between you, Prosciutto probably would have thrown you out for a liar there and then. But as you are, it's clear you're being honest. He lets you in.

After a short interrogation by Risotto to make certain you aren't acting on behalf of some third party looking to infiltrate the squad, it's agreed you can stay, so long as you keep quiet about it to your friends. At your age you can largely look after yourself and all you really needed was a roof over your head, so there's no problem with you moving into the spare room as long as you stay out of the others' way.

Education isn't much of an issue either, since you're likely well settled in your current school and can get yourself there and back. Just whatever you do, don't go telling anyone you live with a bunch of gangsters now. Prosciutto means it, you could seriously put yourself in danger if you do that.

Much to your father's ire, you end up befriending several members of the squad, especially the younger ones like Melone, Ghiaccio and Pesci who have some generational overlap with how you were raised. Prosciutto would rather you didn't do this but at the end of the day, he can't really stop you. God forbid you call him an old boomer again.

Your relationship is overall positive- Prosciutto makes a point of taking you on outings when he has the time, and giving you parental advice when you need it. However that doesn't stop you from making fun of his stuffy, old habits, and playing the moral high ground in regards to his work.

On that note, the problem comes when you develop an interest in the squad's work. It's only inevitable, given how pervasive the topic is in conversations around the house, and the fact you're more than old enough to know what a gang is, but the day you first ask him about it is no less welcome. What's scary is that you're about the same age as Passione's youngest recruits and, well, if you ended up joining them because of him, Prosciutto might never forgive himself.

Pesci, with a 6 month old son

He knew it had been a mistake. Not long after his 18th birthday he'd given in to the squad's pestering about his virginity and finally gotten rid of it just to shut them up. Now he's ridden with guilt. Not only did the poor woman get pregnant because of him but now she's died. He can't help but wonder, the letter attached to the basket you came in was very vague after all, was your mother's death at all related to your birth? If so, Pesci doesn't know how he'll forgive himself.

Pesci immediately panics and stumbles into his Fra's bedroom crying louder than you are. Prosciutto remains calm, advising him to first make sure this actually is his baby through Melone, in case this is somebody trying to trick him, and to then think through his options rationally. As far as Prosciutto sees it, he has two. He can either see to it that you're taken in by a caring, reliable individual, or he can keep you for himself. Surprisingly, Prosciutto's actually okay with the second one, since in his eyes duty to one's family is absolute.

Pesci stammers a bit and asks if he can wait a few days to make his mind up, which Prosciutto permits. But it isn't long at all until Pesci is far too attached to you to ever let you go, and it becomes clear you'll be staying for the long-run. Risotto is hardly happy about this but agrees with Prosciutto's sentiment of family, so he doesn't try to insist you be sent away.

Pesci is an incredibly loving father. He'll dash from the other side of the house at a moment's notice if he hears you crying. That said, being so young himself it's inevitable he requires some help with raising you. Sorbet and Gelato chip in quite regularly, as does Melone when Pesci is desperate enough to fall on using him. Prosciutto helps out too, being your uncle, and occasionally you've even had Risotto answer your cries.

La Squadra can only hope their situation improves somehow in the coming years, since Pesci has no idea how he's going to deal with an older child in a house full of assassins. At very least, being so young it's a long time before he has to worry about things like school. For now, what's important is that you are loved very dearly. Pesci has discovered a new protective streak in himself, something he discovers every time he looks in your eyes.

Melone, with a 4 year old son

When you arrived you were frightened and confused. You struggled to babble out the story you were told to tell as the strange men crowded around you in the front room of the house. Then, a bizarre looking man with purple hair pushed to the front of the crowd, insisting he knew what to do in a situation like this. He carried you somewhere quiet, and gently asked you to repeat your story again. You told him you were looking for your father, Melone.

Melone is elated. He's always wanted a child, but getting into a relationship stable enough to produce one has never been an option with the life he lives. Now the happy accident he never new he had has come home to him! Carrying you back to the living room, Melone introduces you as his son and announces to the team that he will be keeping you.

This is met with some protest. Not only are you of the age where you'll need constant supervision, but quite frankly, nobody trusts Melone to take care of a kid. Melone refutes their accusations harshly, making it absolutely clear he will not be giving you up without a fight. Finally, Risotto surrenders, on the terms that if he catches any signs of abuse or neglect, he will see to it personally that you are re-homed elsewhere.

Melone's parenting style is relatively laid-back. He believes parents should be a 'safe base' from which children should explore the world, coming back when they need advice but ultimately following their own whims within reason. He encourages you to play as you wish and does not stop you from bonding with the rest of the squad. Finding supervision for you while he's on missions proves to be a non-issue, since his stand's massive range means he can often do most of a mission's work at home.

When the time comes to educate you, Melone decides against the risks of enrolling you in school. He is an amazing teacher and can teach you everything you'd need in half the hours of a typical curriculum. Beyond the essentials of literacy and simple maths, Melone largely encourages you to follow you own interests rather than stick to some boring, arbitrary list of useless things a normal curriculum for some reason expects you to learn.

That said, he knows the importance of making friends, so he frequently takes you out to meet with neighbourhood children. All-in-all, the squad is surprised at his sensible parenting choices, and the happy child you are turning out to be.

Ghiaccio, with a 2 year old son

It's almost comedic the lengths Ghiaccio goes to to avoid the problem. As the others crowd around you in Melone's lap, Ghiaccio cowers in the corner insisting that you absolutely cannot be his. It's very obvious you are, of course. You look almost exactly like him, and have a cry to match. You've even inherited the same, mild visual impairments that earned him his glasses. There's no getting away from the truth.

After accepting the truth, Ghiaccio takes you away to his room to 'clear his head' before deciding where to send you in the morning, but when morning comes, that deliberation time quickly turns into a few more days, then a month, then never. It's clear Ghiaccio's become attached to you, and he cannot bring himself to give you away.

Unfortunately, he doesn't have the foggiest clue in hell how to look after a toddler. He has a hard enough time understanding what it is adults want from him, let alone small children. There are times he even considers giving you away again, but they never last long enough for him to go through with it. Bit by bit, he slowly learns how to be a father.

Melone is his primary co-parent. As cautious as Ghiaccio is about letting him around his baby, it soon becomes clear Melone can understand your needs far better than he can. The pair have many sessions together teaching Ghiaccio how to do things like wash you or cook your food. It's honestly a massive help, and probably the main reason Ghiaccio doesn't completely melt down within a month of having you.

These issues aside, Ghiaccio is a person who is very genuine in his affections. He would break the shins of anyone who even looked at you threateningly, and every fibre of his being wants you to be happy. He even learns to control his temper, as he knows from experience just how damaging an angry parent can be for a child. He's going to give you a better childhood than what his parents gave him, and that's a promise.

Risotto, with a 6 year old daughter

Well, perhaps this ought to have been expected. In his early 20s Risotto was really far less careful than he ought to be in regards to his encounters, so he probably had this coming. You are at a difficult age, old enough to understand your father is a criminal but young enough to still need his care. If he takes you in, there will be many challenges. And yet he cannot bring himself to turn you away. Looking at you he feels... obligation.

In the early days he tries his best to shelter you. He keeps you in his room and tells the others not to talk to you. But that's no way for you to live, and he knows it. Eventually, he swallows his fears and lets you explore your new home, even taking you out to the park a few minutes each day so you can run around. He talks to Melone about continuing your education, and asks Sorbet and Gelato if they'd let the spare room next to them be turned into a bedroom for you. He's going to make sure he raises you right.

Risotto may be quiet and introverted, but do not mistake that for emotionally distant. He does not underestimate his vital role in your emotional well-being, and is quick to pick up on when you are feeling sad or lonely. He makes sure to pick you up in his arms and ask what's wrong when that happens.

Though he didn't know her well, he mourns your mother with you, and is very watchful for the signs of attachment issues that may result from losing a parent at such a tender age. Being all you have left, Risotto gains a new instinct of self-preservation. For the first time in years, his life has meaning.

In terms of bonding, he prefers calm activities that allow him to passively observe your interests, such as watching movies or reading you books. When he's working in his office and doesn't need his camera on, he's happy for you to sit in his lap as long as you're quiet. He would ask if you don't read what's on his screen, though, at least not while you're so young. He'll give you a better explanation of what he's doing some day, but not just yet.

Sorbet and Gelato, with a 12 year old daughter

First of all, let's make clear that regardless of which one is biologically your father, they both feel equal responsibility for you. No doubt they were both present for your conception anyway, so as far as they're concerned, if one of them has a secret kid from a hookup, they both have a secret kid from a hookup.

Having always wanted children, they are happy when you appear on the doorstep and introduce yourself as their daughter. Though they don't say it out loud to avoid upsetting you, they kind of wish your mum had kicked it sooner so they could have raised you from a younger age, but they're more than happy to make do with what they've got. There's no hesitation in welcoming you to live with them permanently, and anyone who has a problem with this isn't brave enough to say it.

Right from the get-go they are very permitting parents, awarding you a generous helping of their cash each week and having a rule list that pretty much starts and ends with "don't talk to the police." Despite your age they don't expect you to be independent, and are happy to cook for you and help you out with other things when you ask. It seems parenthood was made for them.

Despite all this, there is one problem in your relationship that is making things difficult. That of your fathers' work. You're 12 years old and you aren't stupid. You know they kill for a living and you know they enjoy it. When you stumble into the bathroom at 1am to find them covered in blood and laughing together, there's no making excuses. No matter how good they are with you, this is going to make you afraid of them.

Sorbet and Gelato are incredibly stringent in solving these early issues. After all these years they've finally got the family they wanted, and they aren't going to let it slip away from their own cruelty. They are honest with you about their occupation, since they want you to know you can trust them, and make absolutely clear it won't affect their care for you. You are welcome to ask questions and receive honest answers, but other than that Sorbet and Gelato will make a point of not accidentally causing you to witness something you shouldn't.

With them, you are welcome to continue your old life in terms of school and friends. They want to spend time with you, but they don't want to overtake your existence completely. When you are up for it, they are keen to take you on outings that interest you so you can spend time together as a family. They hope you know how happy you make them.

#la squadra #la squadra di esecuzione #la squadra x reader #formaggio #formaggio x reader #illuso #illuso x reader #prosciutto #prosciutto x reader #pesci #pesci x reader #melone #melone x reader #ghiaccio #ghiaccio x reader #risotto nero #risotto nero x reader #sorbet and gelato #sorbet and gelato x reader

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the-ghost-king · 3 years

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Schizophrenic Nico, here's why I think it's possible:

I want to start off by saying these are just my thoughts, there is no one way to be schizophrenic or to have schizophrenia. It's also important to note that many of the schizophrenic symptoms overlap with other mental illnesses/nuerodivergences like ADHD, Autism, Depression, and OCD which I know many people who head canon Nico as having. I'm not arguing schizophrenic Nico is more correct, more canon, or more right, but to explain some thoughts on why I think it's possible/very likely he does so I can use this for future reference in various thing.

I am using the term schizophrenia as a catchall for all "types" of schizophrenia, but not for schizoaffective disorder which I would say Nico probably doesn't have.

Children born in the winter/those who were "sickly" as babies are more likely to develop schizophrenia. It may also be possible if your mother was sick while pregnant with you, or having a father who was significantly older when he had you.

A stressful life, especially trauma, are more likely to develop schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. It likely has something to do with excessive dopamine production, but it may also have something to do with the same genes that control the sleep-wake cycle. Schizophrenia is more common with other mental illnesses or with other nuerodivergences or developmental delays.

Common symptoms include:

Hallucinations

Delusions

Disorganized thinking

lack of motivation

slow movement

change in sleep patterns

poor grooming or hygiene

changes in body language and emotions

less interest in social activities

Now what does this mean for Nico, and why do I think it's likely he has Schizophrenia?

Let's start with Nico's childhood, "children born in the winter/those who were "sickly" as babies are more likely to develop schizophrenia". Although Rick proposed two birthdays for Nico, the fandom generally accepted the January date more fully. We also know that Nico is described as small when he was younger, smallness is common in children who grow up sickly, but it is also common in children who's mother was ill while pregnant with them. We obviously don't know if Nico was sick as a kid, or if Maria was sick while pregnant with him, but again being born in the winter makes these things more likely, as well as consideration for the time period Nico grew up in and the larger variety of illnesses going around at the time. (He is vaccinated against some things though).

Trauma and Nico... do I really have to go into super detail on this one? He spent his childhood growing up in a fascist country that was extremely racist/anti-Semitic/homophobic/etc, his mom died when he was a child- in front of him, his father intentionally gave him amnesia, his sister died when he was a child, he then proceeded to become homeless living/spending lots of time with Minos who verbally (and possibly physically) abused him, becoming aware of his past memories, becoming aware of the fact that many people hated him because of his father and because they thought he was joining the other side (therefore, he was "bad"), he fought in many battles as a child, fought monsters alone, was often faced with life or death situations, went to Tartarus alone (where the goddess of misery told him he was "perfect"), was trapped in a hostage situation with little/no air for a long time while people debated whether or not to save him, was outed against his will, was freed only to travel again fighting monsters and then win a battle, was eventually made to quest with Apollo despite still having lots of healing to do in ToN. So stressful life? Fuck yeah, that doesn't being to cover it.

Genetic factors, obviously nothing here is confirmed so I'm speculating a little bit again, but the common idea in regards to Hades children through the series is that they are "bad". Mental illnesses have been stigmatized for hundreds, if not thousands of years, and often mentally ill people were made out to be weird/bad/etc. It's more than possible there is some sort of genetic factor taking place, also "having a father who was significantly older when he had you". Although I doubt godly genes work the same as mortal ones (trust me I have lots of thoughts on how god genetics/DNA work, but that's not the point right now), I think Hades being the oldest out of all his brothers and having a reputation for having "questionable" children says something... We have no information on Maria's family history at all.

As for schizophrenia often occurring with other mental illnesses and/or neurodivergences: Nico canonically is implied to have either ADHD and/or Autism, and is canonically stated to have PTSD. I think most people would agree that saying Nico has or has had depression isn't a stretch in the slightest.

So canonically we can all agree Nico has severe trauma and coinciding mental health issues/neurodivergences, so out of 4 possible issues I’ve first presented we guaranteeably have two. If I wanted to stretch this a little I would give myself a half point for him being born in the winter and a half point for the aspect of Hades genetics but I won’t do that.

On top of that schizophrenia usually appears during teenage and young adult years in people who receive diagnosis; most people live with mental illness for a few months or a few years in some cases before they're able to receive a diagnosis. Nico being 15 (16 by the end of ToN/shortly following the end of ToN) is about the age that schizophrenia would start to make an appearance. It's also more likely to be found in men, with men also noticing the appearance of schizophrenia appearing early in their lives, and experiencing more negative symptoms in comparison to the higher commonality of affective symptoms in women. That's a really complicated explanation to basically say there's 3 more things that would make Nico having schizophrenia make more sense.

Alright, let’s go back to the list of symptoms I provided:

Hallucinations

Delusions

Disorganized thinking

lack of motivation

slow movement

change in sleep patterns

poor grooming or hygiene

changes in body language and emotions/behavior

less interest in social activities

Once again, some of these are not solely related to schizophrenia and can be the result of other mental health issues, I’m just going to go down the list and add in some moments from the books in which Nico shows some of these traits/behaviors.

Delusions/Hallucinations (more later)

Our best chances for understanding Nico's thought process is in Blood of Olympus where he has a P.O.V... Sometimes Nico's thoughts do derail, or sometimes they get a little confusing, but not always, and when talking to others he is consistent and aware of what he's saying, as well as blunt. Anything "off" about his thought patterns to me just seems like ADHD..

Dietary changes (whether or not you think he has an eating disorder) are behavioral changes (I personally think Nico has AFRID)

Within House of Hades Nico's poor sleep patterns are constantly referenced, and I'll give him a pass on poor hygiene because he's in the middle of a quest but still..

I have extremely complicated feelings on what Will says here, it's possible Nico is an extremely unreliable narrator (unlikely, it seems many people are bothered by him and only maybe a handful aren't), I've also thought at many points this was Rick trying to backtrack some stuff with Nico because he realized he'd made his story a little too harsh for a kids book, it could also be Will's trauma kicking in and that happening... I'm not counting it as full proof about Nico disliking social interactions, but Nico does try to leave even after this conversation and isn't convinced to stay until the last chapter, so maybe there's something to be said about people's dislike of him for being a Hades kid- but I think it's fair to say Nico also dislikes people at least some because he doesn't have interest in trying to befriend anyone either, and is quick to assume all people dislike him (paranoia/low self esteem/and some other possible stuff). There's lots of discussions to be had about this quote and other similar ones, and I don't think a broad brush approach of "Nico good everyone else bad" is accurate it's more, "Nico is good but he fails to try and you have to work on your own mental health everyone won just go to you, and also people dislike Nico for silly reasons and need to get over themselves and make an effort too". (I'm extremely oversimplifying my thoughts and feelings to keep it brief.)

More on delusions and hallucinations:

Now I want to state that lots of schizophrenia symptoms share a lot of commonalities with ADHD and with depression, so although I might include some moments you think are just ADHD/depression I wouldn’t necessarily disagree with you but they could also be schizophrenia or coexisting mental health issues/divergences. I also went through the DSM-5 for schizophrenia (the DSM-5 is just this big book with lists and it’s how doctors diagnose any mental health issue/divergence), I also looked through the DSM-IV (an older book from before DSM-5 which is no longer really used) and the differences between the diagnosis was fairly minimal but they quit categorizing types of schizophrenia and instead rely more on a couple of word descriptions that seem more in line with a spectrum rather than a checkable box.

In order to receive a schizophrenia diagnosis, two (or more) of the following, each present for a significant portion of time during a 1-month period (or less if successfully treated), and at least one of these symptoms must be (1), (2), or (3):

Delusions

Hallucinations

Disorganized speech (frequent derailment or incoherence)

Grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior

Negative symptoms (i.e., diminished emotional expression or avolition).

It’s important to note that only one of these need to be checked off/true if the patient has voices which narrate their actions/behaviors/thoughts or if the person has more than one voice conversing with each other.

Nico deals with auditory hallucinations (2), he believes the voice belongs to Bob, his titan friend he left in Tartarus:

However this isn’t and immediate diagnosis because Bob’s voice doesn’t talk to another voice(s) in Nico’s head, and we don’t know if Nico has voices running commentary on his behaviors/thoughts.

The reason I state we are unaware if Nico has commentary isn’t because Nico hasn’t said anything, but because many people with schizophrenia before their diagnosis believe the narrative voices are just their thoughts and are a normal internal monologue- usually patients don’t realize anything is wrong until the voices start providing commentary on their actions so instead of “washing the dishes now” the voice(s) might say “wash the dishes now, you’re so lazy you can’t do anything, idiot” during a period of psychosis which may help them acknowledge that the voice(s) isn’t the way most people experience internal voice(s). It is very possible Nico is unaware he is experiencing narrative thoughts and simply assumes that his experience is something most people have, but I won’t use this to argue my point because it’s not confirmation of anything.

Returning now to Bob, Nico knows he is hearing Bob’s voice but he believes Bob is calling to him from Tartarus. Now, Nico says the voices are calling to him from Tartarus but there’s no confirmation of this anywhere… What I think is happening is Nico has a guilty conscience. He feels bad for “using” Bob to get out of Tartarus and various other things, so he feels bad that he is still down there. However, we don’t really know if Bob is calling to him or if Bob is able to do that- what I personally think is happening here is Nico’s brain is convincing Nico that Bob needs him because Nico is upset with himself for not helping Bob more, but also because Nico has never “sat still” before without a quest. Nico has also always felt the want to be needed/important...

It very well could be a delusion.

Schizophrenic patients often experience delusions which make them think they are destined for greatness, or that they have some divine/high force calling out to them for help that only they can provide. It’s an extremely common thing in individuals who experience delusions, and is in fact one of the most common delusions experienced. So although Bob could really be calling out to Nico, I don’t think he is, it doesn’t entirely make sense and there’s lots of little things which point to it being not entirely real- like the fact that nobody else knows about it? Or how absolutely sure Nico is that he need to return to Tartarus? It seems like a mixture of PTSD, delusions, and trauma response (returning to the trauma), working against him. I’ll say delusion is very likely (1).

Using these two factors alone there’s sufficient evidence for diagnosis, but let’s keep going just to see.

For disorganized speech (3) this isn’t something Nico seems to struggle with, and even if he did “derailing” could be ADHD or Autism, so I don’t think this symptom pertains to him.

Changes in behavior (4), seem to all be explainable via depression and/or PTSD- he has begun to express emotion again in Tower of Nero upon learning of Jason’s death he is said to be upset by Will and he walks off to be alone, seems like depression to me. Emotional/Behavior changes from schizophrenia tend to relate more to bipolar disorder rather than a depressive disorder, so I would say if Nico has schizophrenia he probably doesn’t have emotional or behavioral changes from it. If he did he might have some catatonic behavior, but this seems to be clearing up some in Tower of Nero so I’m not super sure on that, maybe during bad periods of psychosis behavioral changes occur, but I would lean more towards this isn’t a symptom Nico personally deals with. Negative symptoms (5) tie into this same idea, it’s possible it’s schizophrenia, but it’s more likely PTSD or depression at work.

So why do I care so much about the possibility of Nico being schizophrenic?

I feel like canonically/fanonically making Nico schizophrenic does a few things, firstly schizophrenic rep in media is extremely extremely awful- can you think off the top of your head of a schizophrenic character who isn't from a horror film/a murder/a villain in their own story? Maybe, but personally I can only think of one which is Charlie from Perks of Being a Wallflower- and even then? That's not canon, it's only implied- and it might not even be true

Schizophrenic media representation always paints schizophrenic people as bad, scary, and evil, and although the horror genre is extremely well known for being super ableist, transphobic, racist, homophobic, and misogynistic (just the final cherry on top) having one of the first- if not the first openly confirmed schizophrenic characters in children's media not only be someone who has lots of character development, and isn't a stereotype, but also be someone people have grown up with, cared for, and sympathized with- would be extremely monumental.

People with schizophrenia and other related disorders aren't something to be scared of or to think of as bad, and often times they're more bothered by whatever they're experiencing than you are.

I don't have schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder or anything like that, but I have various undiagnosed mental health issues which often lead to me questioning reality, or having to set aside time to convince myself that no there isn't a man living in my wall... Having a character have to question those things, work through those feelings, and learn to trust themselves and care for themselves even with those difficulties would be really great to see in media, not just for people with schizophrenia but also for people with similar/related disorders who might share symptoms see parts of their own struggles in a good, educative way.

I have to finish this in two parts because tumblr keeps breaking because there's too many words in my post lmao (2nd part here)

#nico di angelo #pjo #hoo #toa #percy jackson #will solace #solangelo

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mokutone · 2 years

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@themastertactician asked via submission: Do you have any ideas/thoughts/meta about Tenzou and Itachi, especially post massacre? I love your meta. <3

thank you, and not really! i don't really like itachi, and i don't find him a very interesting character, so i tend not to think about him very much at all. if i do, it's usually just to get annoyed @ kishimoto about what i view as his failures when writing itachi as a character.

i think itachi was probably a subject of much debate between kakashi and tenzō, because by the time that itachi (age 11-13) joined anbu, tenzō would have been about 17-19, and kakashi would've been about 20-21. so like, they're both young adults in charge of this barely-teenager, in black ops. I think their values would come into conflict on what to expect from itachi.

Kakashi is generally a fairly protective person, in many ways he's very soft, and if he can prevent somebody he views as less deserving or less able to handle it from getting hurt, he will.

Tenzō tends to be very practical, and while he intellectually understands that people value childhood and think that kids need to be protected, I think he would, at this point in his life, generally disagree. Protection, especially from a commanding officer, given in the form of orders or direction, I think he would see as something which limits the autonomy of an individual. (having already had substantial issues with his own autonomy being limited, and having kakashi self-sacrificing hatake as a commanding officer, I think this is something he might feel strongly about)

I think they would get in frequent discussions (not quite arguments, because Tenzō trusts Kakashi's judgement ultimately) where Tenzō would express concern that by going to efforts to keep Itachi from the more dangerous or upsetting parts of the mission, they might be disrespecting him as a shinobi, or limiting his ability to make his own choices about his abilities and what he can handle.

If they get very much into it, Tenzō might even suggest transferring Itachi to another squad, in case its less that he's a kid, and more that he's an uchiha about the same age as Obito was when he died, and that the possibility of double-failing Obito might be weighing on Kakashi's mind.

Kakashi largely reacts to this with "well, that's all fine and good, but he's also the youngest anbu Konoha has ever taken on. Better to be safe than sorry, isn't it?"

Which Tenzō would largely agree with. These are only minor concerns, after all. He figures they can have a larger conversation when Itachi is slightly older and Kakashi's protective stance becomes less acceptable.

After the massacre, Tenzō starts to think that maybe Kakashi was more correct than he'd anticipated, and perhaps more should have been done.

Itachi and Tenzō aren't particularly close, in anbu I don't think. They're professional, Tenzō is very respectful of Itachi, and very direct. He's also very guarded though, and does not openly disagree with Kakashi in front of Itachi, unless Kakashi is clearly teasing Tenzō for a reaction. Itachi doesn't think particularly highly of Tenzō—because of Tenzō's quietness and unwillingness to argue with Kakashi in front of him, it's easy for Itachi to just let Tenzō fade into the back of the scene, imagining him more as another part of Kakashi than as his own person.

Given Itachis history with adults or people in positions of power manipulating him, it's unsurprising that he would view Kakashi and Tenzō's interactions through that lens. (That is, assuming that Tenzō simply does what Kakashi says, and does not question his superior officer, out of sheer blind loyalty) He does not bring it up because he's young and cynical and thinks Tenzō is probably too dumb or too lost in the sauce to see it.

Like. At their oldest, at their most familiar. Itachi is a thirteen year old. It doesn't matter if Tenzō is 19 and has known Kakashi for longer than Itachi has been able to hold a kunai, he's a thirteen year old and he's only going to be able to interpret the relationships he sees with the tools he's been given—and socially, he hasn't been given a lot of tools as far as we can see.

Anyway. during the period of shippuden, Tenzō probably thinks of Itachi as a tragic casualty, long before Sasuke actually kills him.

#text #submission #themastertactician #i think it would probably have been easier to send this as an ask than to send it as a submission #also i want to add bc this is tumblr but: i do not agree with itachi or tenzō or kakashi about any of this.#itachi suffers from the same problem minato hiruzen and a lot of other kishimoto characters suffer from;#kishimoto cant decide whether he wants them to be a character with an internal life or if he wants them to be a force of nature upon #his narrative. it makes trying to understand them incredibly frustrating and not in a fun way #You'll notice that i barely say anything about how itachi feels about any of this bc...i really don't have shit to go on #anyway #i hope this answers ur question bc most other thoughts i have abt how kishimoto wrote itachi are far less charitable #as always people are free to disagree with me but like...don't do it on this post. dont do it in my inbox #i do not care enough i really do not care about itachi

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aeempress · 3 years

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Apritello Express Evidences, part 1

Greetings, Apritello enthusiasts and attention! Here comes a loong post is written by totally nerd. You've been warned. Here we go.

The thing is that Apritello is a double-edged sword. The series shows us established friendship of these two, give us a lot of content with them. We can see development of relationship through interaction between the characters, their reaction about the situations they are put in. We can sense their synergy and bound through the show.

Donnie and April have incredible chemistry, and both options, brotp and otp seems fine to me.

But let me tell you why I ship them.

Apritello is the kind of pairings, which consists of small details, hints, that's hidden, but if you're sharp and attentive one, you will notice that. Apritello has a strong foundation: the best friends trope.

And from the very beginning, it works as planned.

When I start watching show, I could say that April and Donnie are best friends. It is worth noting that April is like an older sister to the other brothers, more of a sisterly figure than a friend, but with Donnie she behaves somewhat differently, namely, as best friend. Obviously, she sets him apart from his brothers, although girl tries to pay attention to all of them equally. And Donnie behaves as well.

Dee's battle shell designs for April needs as well as his. His shell transform into comfy spot for taking ride for April. Special and only for her. Because his bros are not supposed to use it (at least, he carries no one on his back), Donnie carries them by his techno-bó or his limbs.

This tiny detail shows his special treatment to her. April is a very, very special occasion to D. Don does care about her comfort, he accept the way she is. Donatello does not try to prevent her from participating in their affairs because he respects her decisions and is pleased that April can be shoulder to shoulder with him.

D is glad to be at her service.

Yeah, Dee's still playing cool, he has image to perform as tough and coolheaded guy. So Don doesn't show his intentions, interest and feeling to other people (he's tryin', but fails). Because his actions matter. They are always small, hidden, but meaningful.

April, in return, trusts Dee and depends on his tech, even knowing what his inventions are the opposite of success (usually).

Go on. Look at Donnie's facial expressions and body language when April is near.

Donnie seems more relaxed when she's around, happier. His emotional response is always different from his brothers ones.

Oh, and look, he wanted to be first to give her a high three.

They worry about each other. Look at Don. He does worry about her way more than his brothers. Yeah, they all want to protect her, but Donnie is more expressive.

Mayham has no particular sympathy for the brothers: he is afraid of Raph and behaves aggressively, he is indifferent to Leo and Mikey. Mayham immediately takes a liking to April. And then the details come back: he let Donnie touch his neck. The most vulnerable place for any living creation, for a second. Let him to study an important vial without any hesitation. Mayham depends on April trust for Donnie. When everything goes wrong for Don, the little doggie comes to his rescue, just as April would have done. Is the hint transparent enough?

We can see links with "A mystic library", wherе Donnie begins to look for solutions to save April's pet. Yes, this may seem like his next leap, "sit down, I'm smart, and now I'll solve all the problems, watch and learn," but Don says one phrase that opens up the veil of the second plan, what happens behind the scenes. "My illiteral colleagues and I was conducting a mustic research, with a life of the beloved pet, hanging in a bounce".

Strange wording, Donatello. Beloved pet? Not yours, as we can see. I can say, that everything in this sentence is true, but Donnie and Mayham has something more.

Continue. Next episode "Origami tsunami". Interactions are kept to a minimum, as April herself appears for a maximum of 5 minutes in the series itself. But devil is always in the details, dear friends.

When April was attacked and hung up, the only one who excitedly called out to her was Donny. Raph is furious that the thieves have escaped, Leo is frustrated that their plan has failed, and Mikey is worried about the salami.

Yeah, we didn't see his worries about her when she fell, because Donnie is on the mission and must be coolheaded turtle, and second, he's calm because now April life is safe and sound, out of the danger.

Dear passangers, Apritello Express arrives to the next station - episode "War and Pizza".

Bare facts:

1. April has Donnie's number on an emergency call.

2. "Anything for you"

3. Donnie is the reason why Alberto knows April's name.

No one calles April by her name (except for Donnie, while phone call, but Alberto wasn't nearby) it was "Captain O'Neil" by her chief, her badge seems blank. And yeah, you can say, that's just economy of budget, but I assure you: in the first episode we were shown the name of the delivery guy. The animators were not lazy bones and wrore "Stewart" on his badge. So if something isn't there, then it either shouldn't be there, or it really isn't, that's how this show works.

So, the reason explained in the episode. When Al has short circuit, parts of its new code flashed through its mind.

Info about April was in its memory, in its code. Alberto was a lame animatronic, and it seems somewhat outdated. I do really doubt about Alberto is being something smartass machine with complicated AI like Freddy's Pizza's ones. Quite questionable. Donatello fix Al's brain and wrote code, synchronize with his remote control. He put information about Cap O'Neil into animatronic's head. All this pictures are kind of massage: "You was created for birthday celebrations. You are machine, and there concepts of "life" and "birth". Do great party for this birthday kid and April won't be like this". Or, something like that.

So Alberto did - do a memorable party. And he do what his creator programmed him to do, but in his way.

4. In other words, Alberto was a tool to impress April. Don flaunts himself in front of her, stating how he did the upgrade while doing the upgrade, even though April is fully aware of his tech wizard. And his abilities supposed to help Cap O'Neil to finish the birthday party, so she will stay at her job, not fired. All thanks to Donnie and his upgrade Alberto. (Or not)

By the way, Donnie was the last to leave April in ruined "Alberto's". And it's not an isolated case, it is a pattern.

5. They understand each other without words.

First, Donny came at her at the speed of light. Second, she hadn't even finished speaking before Dee was taking Al apart. Third, their chaotic, well-coordinated work? Donnie was a distraction (although he wanted to just take a break from the battle or let Alberto's guard down, while April just knocked him out). Donnie and April are great team, and sometimes the DonniexApril team is much more precise, coordinated, and interdependent than the DonniexBrothers one.

D&A feel each other and anticipate each other's actions, their skills complement each other, creating an incredible synergy of their interaction. They act as a whole, while it's not always possible with his brothers, even though they're family and know each other the way more Donnie know April. And Dee hasn't trained with cap O'Neil.

Donatello didn't show his crush for April. No puppy, loving eyes, no lovey-dovey speeches, no planning schemes (at least, the audience don't see one) . He just want her attention, but stays cool and hidden. D is already her BFF, but still.

The same thing is claimed in 5B episode - Mascot Melee. Donnie has no problems with interaction with idol of his childhood - Atomic Lass. She'd put Leo in a stupor, but Donnie? He playfully challenges her to a dance duel. Yes, he adores this character, who may have become his measure of the attractiveness of others to Donatello, determined his type. But still, he's playing all cool and confident guy, he's really smooth with girls, so you will never see a puppy loving eyes from him. Only two things can betray him at this point: his voice and his body language. Remember, how's soft his voice became for Atomic Lass? Now I want you to remember the scene before, in turtle tank, when April sent guys a meme.

D is the first to respond to the message, despite the fact that Mikey is sitting closest to the screen. And the responding is a little too emotional for this situation, don't you think?

And this face of his. And he comments it. He likes her sense of humour.

The only difference between April and Atomic Lass is that the first one is a real girl who is a friend of their family, practically a member of it; and the other one is just a fictional character. It is easier to say about love for a fictional character, because it brings less problems for a teenager, especially when he is living with three brothers and a father who likes to tease as well. Donatello needs to be careful and outline the area of emotions he could show, so that he does not get hurt.

Now, dear passangers, we are returning to the previous episode, shall we?

Donnie presents to his brothers his precious Turtle tank, but she's gone, and it's really necessary to find out, who has taken her. And the first person to suspect is April.

Something is odd, don't you think? Yeah, Raphael has taken tyre for their "Midnight special", Leo claimed that Donnie's stuff is common, but they are D's beothers. It's natural for family to borrow(stole) stuff of each other. But this trend was not observed in April. She would never steal anything from Donnie, much less steal anything from him.

Actually, there is a good, logical and solid explanation here. April was number 1 in Donatello' suspect list, because he simply told her about Turtle tank. His brothers didn't know he were working at Moon buggy, except Mikey (Orange helps Dee get the vehicle from Repomantis), but they didn't know what exactly Donnie was working for. They didn't know he build the Turtle tank, he kept it a secret, to surprise his brothers. But April knew.

- Alright you! Where's our turtle tank?

- Hi, DONNIE. You have 9 seconds to say, why are you just broke my door.

- Someone's stole Donnie's turtle tank.

- Haha-ow, I see. As your best friend, you naturally suspect me.

- She gets it!

- Oh-ho, don't give me that! You're the only one could taken it!

The only one, because she knew about it.

As Splints said in this episode - "April is not a snitch"

Donatello does trust April and share with her both, sorrows and joys. But we are not shown this directly. We do not see the action itself, we do not see their calls and conversations on the phone late at night, we only see the consequence. We have no choice and take it as a given.

And the way she cooled him down? Fast, efficient, and Donnie seems to used to it. Moreover, she slapped everyone, but still, she throw Don out of window the last. However, why such a large time delay between him, being slapped and him, was throwing out of the window?

And my favourite scene. It was obvious that Donnie had taken the hardest hit (judging by his scream and the way he was putting his knuckles back in place). Don then claims that their inner circle is secure, Mikey tries to make amends for everyone, and April agrees, blowing them a kiss and closing the window. Cute and mean, isn't it? (You're cute! but mean! why do I always go for your type?! - ep. War and Pizza)

Nota bene: Donnie wouldn't apologize to April. Tough, not caring badass boy image, remember? Even to best friends. It's hard to him to express his feelings by using words, he cannot do it in proper way. But he has Mikey, who is so alike inner him. Michelangelo apologizes not only for himself, but for D mostly, because D starts suspected April.

Let's continue: the episode 8B: Hypno Part Deux

• Donnie put "Donnie's blocker" at April's phone to protect her.

It's common thing that your friend install some programs or apps on your device. But you will always ask your friend to do such a favour, and you will always know about what, when and where were installed on your phone.

And April didn't know Donnie had done something with her phone. It was a real surprise for her, to see blocker with "Donnie says no-no-no".

And you know, the interface of his app. The way he tell this current phrase. Donnie could put a huge banner "THE APP YOU WANT DOWNLOAD TO IS A REAL PIECE OF GARBAGE", as usual antiviruses do. But no, voice interface. It makes the app more personal and thoughtful. Because when Don made gifts for his brother, the program was voiced by a computer-generated female voice. Yes, the tank's interface is voiced by Donatello himself, but his voice sounds more like Google than the real Don. And, we talking about HIS BABEY, for a second. Bit still, the point remains.

• Also, Dale.

Dale is nerdy boy in purple, wow, how convenient for making a parallel with certain purple turtle.

But thing is, April doesn't like Dale. He's clingy, remora guy, who has a little obsession with April, even he's not harmful, still, such behaviour freaks girls (and not them only) out. Her classmate is usually tell her what April O'Neil is "his favourite person" and he loves her. There is little that is attractive about this behavior.

So, there is nothing new and unpredictable here that Dale was rejected. Because April didn't, doesn't and won't like him because of his lame personality and strange behaviour. Our girl in yellow do right thing: she clearly sets personal boundaries and does not allow any dubious personalities to invade them. So that's the reason she refuses to go on a date with him at the end. He's weird, obsessed, and she doesn't like him.

Donatello, as far as I concerned from different versions of TMNT, was always a little obsessive with some things. And, you know, putting a blocker inside your best friend's phone seems a little weird, because it's, in simple words, violation of privacy and personal space. And there are people who may regard this as stalking or sorta.

Yeah, for the most part, he gets away with it, not only because April's focus is in a different area, but also because their bond is stronger than April's with anyone else at school.

She has known him for years. Donnie is her best friend. I can't say that it's fine to her when Dee violates her personal space - her phone, but April can accept Donatello's personality in general.

And he does really have good intentions. Donnie installed this blocker, developed by himself only for one reason: to protect personal space April from fishy apps from nowhere, from being hacked and etc. Don knew her too well, how much she depends on stupid apps that will distract her. He also knew well, that he can't be with her 24/7 to fix problems with April's phone, so Dee put a part of himself to prevent any harm in the future.

And again, "Donnie's gifts"'s vibes. Donatello genuinely cared about April, because he wrote, coded, developed, designed, and dubbed it, turned on the database, and installed it all on April's phone. 'cause, you know, writing programs in general is a bit of a hassle, but writing an antivirus is much more difficult, because viruses are changing, and questionable applications are finding ways to bypass. Do you feel how much effort Dee put in for her?

But Donatello didn't mean to fix April, as he tried to do with his brothers. Purple turtle accepts this girl the way she is, and tries his best to play smoothly with April, by adjusting, not being passive aggressive jerk. It's his outstanding way to show his caring nature, soft side.

Remember, small but meaningful actions.

Maybe, Donnie also can foresee that April may be forced to download some suspicious program, but still, it work: he managed to prevent April being hypnotized, even if couldn't be physically with April at the this moment - Dee was working for Repo Mantis, building dog's paradise for Todd. That's why, by the way, Leo and Raph were dragged into this whole situation. Mayham would teleported literally anyone to help his hostess. Donnie just wasn't at the Lair at the moment.

And on this note, we'll take a break for now. Stay tuned, expect parsing of the series, there's a lot to discuss.

Part 2

Part 3

#rottmnt #rise of tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja #rise donnie #rise donatello #rottmnt donatello #hamato donatello #april o'neil #rise april #rottmnt april #aprilxdonnie #rottmnt apritello #apritello #lonnnnnnnng post #sorry not sorry #zero regrets #apritello express

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bookwyrminspiration · 3 years

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i think my views on the kotlc characters have changed a lot as i've gotten older- like when i was younger, around 11 or so, I was a lot more opinionated (and hate-y) towards some of the characters, particularly Keefe, because I saw these Cool Older Teenagers and assumed that they should be able to deal with these things rationally- and then when I was like 14 and around the age of the characters, I had calmed down a little bit and still saw the characters as annoying, but they had their reasons for not being perfect

and now i'm older than that, and my only view is "these kids are so traumatized and they do make mistakes but my GOD, it's because they have no support system whatsoever, I can't really hate these kids, because they're literal children! they are kids, give them a break"

you phrased this so well I am in awe, nonsie! there's this progression of opinions you form on the characters as you go that's shaped by how mature you are at the time. that's not to say 11/12 years old are inherently immature, but just three or four years can make a huge difference this early on in life, and someone who is 16/17 is going to have a very different perspective. it almost feels like middle grade years are the formative years where you shift from being the child who just reads and enjoys it all, to realizing that there's actually outside influence and implications of these worlds. it's like you take off these rose colored glasses you weren't intentionally wearing and suddenly everything actually has a lot more to it than you thought

i can distinctly remember when I first started reading the series (I would've been like...ten) I was actually annoyed with the worldbuilding...because it was exactly what I wanted to write in my own story, and I didn't want to accidentally plagiarize. I literally couldn't think of a more perfect world than keeper, and I loved all the characters and just went along with everything that was written because it was fun and didn't think any more of it. And while I personally didn't have a lot of strong opinions, it was really easy to just hear one thing and go with it. There was actually another girl at my school who read the series who was strongly sophitz, and there wasn't any reasoning behind her argument other than that's just what it should be. So I think reading the story at that age makes it really easy to fall into the "exuberant child who doesn't understand all the nuances of fandom and social media just talking loud" stereotype--you know, like with the all caps screaming about ships and hating characters with no meaning behind what they're saying? I know I've done some of that in the past (and it is incredibly embarrassing to think about, ngl), so please don't think I'm trying to shame or demonize these kinds of people. It's just an observation that people like that are almost always young and grow out of it.

and then when I moved away from that, I mostly kept quite and saw them as my peers, which made it a lot easier to see them as annoying but be less vocal about it. and I think I also separated myself from the story a little more and realized that not everything negative people saw with the story meant that I was a bad person for enjoying it. because I do enjoy keeper! as much shit as I talk and problems that I have with it, at the end of the day I talk about it because keeper means something to me. Being Sophie's age (which ranges from like 11-14 in human years, I think), and especially on the older side, was like a transition into being more critical and aware of the series. I'd read more things since then and just had more experiences, so I no longer idolized the world Shannon had built, but I didn't become more critical of it other than the occasional "hey logically how would this work?" thing. I'd read stories with more complicated plots and more sophisticated word choice, so now keeper and its characters weren't this huge inspiration, though I did still follow along with what a lot of other people said.

but, just like you, now I'm older than Sophie and more in the middle of the friend group. and it's just "oh fuck these characters need help." like the ramifications of all these experiences is going to be serious, and also I'm not as invested in certain characters or things I want as I was when I was ten. I'm not desperate for a pairing or for something specific to happen, I'm just curiously observing how things happen. I don't think I can hate any of the characters (Mr. Forkle and Oralie I do hate, but I also appreciate that I hate them and their contribution to the story even if it is almost entirely in nuance). I genuinely think I could say something positive that I legitimately appreciate about any of the characters in keeper, or something that makes them interesting to me. Ah. I think that's it. The characters are interesting to me now as opposed to just being a vessel to get the story someplace. Their mistakes are no longer annoying but realistic and develop their character, and I like seeing what happens to the story instead of being upset something went wrong. I don't idolize the characters anymore, I guess is a way I could phrase that.

because they really don't have an effective support system, and they really don't know what they're doing. and they're dealing with things no one their age should have to and it's going to have an impact. and I think I'm now more welcoming of that impact and the ramifications as opposed to putting the whole world on some pedestal where I can't recognize it's faults without being personally attacked.

at least, that's how things have gone for me. it may be different for others and that's fine!! just some of the things you described felt similar to my own experiences in fandom and how my perception of the story as a whole changed. and it's really interesting to look back and see how you've changed in regards to the story!!

note: a lot of this was me talking about my own experience, but that's my attempt to show I understand you. not trying to just make it about me !!

#besties there were three unexpected schedule changes for me today I am going to scream :)))#almost wrote beasties on accident #smoke detector why are you going off #phone just autocorrected 'sec' to 'dex' so that says something about me probably #but back to that point I had #I think when unlocked came out I said 'i'm not mad keefe ran away I'm just interested to see what happens next'#which I think applies to a lot of the story #i'm just along for the ride and stopped getting mad when a writer I don't know doesn't have the exact same thoughts as I do about #their own characters #but maybe that's just my understanding of the story #you might have a completely different one which is entirely okay!#just sharing my personal thoughts on it #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #quil's queries #kotlc worldbuilding #kotlc characters #nonsie #tw caps

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interlagosed · 2 years

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Yes!!! I agree 100% about papa and daddy, I actually asked bc I felt it was a little expected and cliché but maybe it’s just bc it’s perfect, like what else would they call them right? In my head carlos is papa and lando is daddy. can you imagine what lando feels when his precious kids run up to carlos and call him papa and viceversa?? Like I’m sure it takes them a couple years to manage to not tear up just from watching each other interact with their kids.

I also think they would go to IVF route BUT I had not thought about them having twins, I love that for them! When I read that I imagined them having twin boys but also, I feel carlos especially is like such a girl dad, like he would be absolutely done for if he had a little girl with landos eyes and gap toothed smile. I reckon they would not have less than three kids. Maybe a fourth after the youngest is like around 10 and they realize they enjoyed having little kids running around so much and maybe then they would adopt. Idk Hibi the possibilities are endless and I love all of them.

About the wedding, take your time!! I am absolutely sure whatever you come up with will be so so beautiful.

*immediately flings contracts outline away who needs to graduate from law school* yES YOU UNDERSTAND MY VISION OH MY GOD THEY'RE ALREADY SAPPY LITTLE BITCHES BUT WHEN THEY HAVE KIDS THEY LITERALLY BECOME *SO* TENDER. they literally can't watch movies where something bad happens to kids. they both fall apart immediately and start crying. one of their kids has their first bad fall and scrapes their knee really badly and carlos and lando are both ON it and do an amazing job reassuring their child, bandaging it up, and the kid falls asleep drinking juice & watching TV, and - in the way of kids - totally forgets they were in hurt in the first place. lando, who'd been sitting with their kid, realizes he hasn't seen carlos in a bit, goes hunting for him. finds carlos in the kitchen, crying while he washes dishes, because he never wants to see their children hurt ever again. [this got super long so cut!]

i am WITH YOU. three kids close-ish in age, the first two being twins (boy/girl because FUCK IT WE'RE HAVING FUN HERE), and the last one much younger than the others. one of their kids is nonbinary i think but is happy to be called daughter (she/they). i still think their oldest daughter follows in the family tradition of racing, though they all go karting as kids because carlos and lando don't really know anything else w/r/t childhood lol. but they're good at listening to what their kids want to do and diversifying that way.

carlos is ABSOLUTELY a girl dad. he LOVES his daughters. he matches outfits with them. it's so embarrassing. carlos is so proud. lando is weirdly the parent that goes to all the parent-teacher meetings and gets super involved in school stuff. i think they have the twins while lando's still racing in F1 and carlos has retired (when they have their first kids, lando's like 28 and carlos is 33), so carlos takes the twins EVERYWHERE. by the time they have the third kid, lando decides he's happy with what he's accomplished and retires (i think ~33). so they're definitely older dads when they have their last, but at that point all the older kids are SO EXCITED and help raise the baby.

and oh my goodness they love each other SO much. carlos and lando fuck up now and then like all parents do, but there's so much love in the family, and the kids, even when they're being shitty teenagers, know their parents are doing their best. and i think they know how BRAVE their dads are for being so open about their relationship and family. so they're all very mature and appreciative. they grow up to be wonderful adults, and carlos and lando realize that's their true legacy; all the f1 stuff is fluff.

#hibi answers #carlando headcanons

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symphonyofthewrite · 3 years

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Saw your post, getting stuff off your chest, I just wanted to say that I haven't seen the thing with the kids mentioned by anyone and it really stood out to me, I feel what you mean to some extent, because for me it was a stronger reaction, albeit you probably won't feel the same and that's, obviously, perfectly fine. I have an instant recoil these days whenever a character is around kids for like one second and everyone instantly goes "THEY LITERALLY ADOPTED THEM/THAT'S THEIR CHILD/THEY'RE A PARENT"... genuinely sick of it, and I went white as a sheet when I heard it, I wanted to pluck my eyes out. I don't know if it's an American thing but English speaking fandoms (well, those teeming with fancops that is) seem like they cannot process adult looking characters being in any near proximity to childlike characters without automatically imposing parenthood and family dynamics and it's becoming distressing to me. I feel like Alucard needed to process his trauma and learn to trust and be whole again, he's young himself too, why he needed to be a "father figure" all of a sudden is beyond me.

Thank you so much for the ask!! I don’t get many asks so it makes me happy when I can talk meta with people 💛💛 (Sorry I’m a bit late in answering.)

Funnily enough I actually do agree with you. I didn’t have quite so strong a reaction, but I definitely had a very similar one when I first hear it.

My feelings were and are a bit mixed. I was saying in my other post that I would have preferred that I got to actually see this interaction; see the kids run by him and call him father, and him smile when no ones looking. I still think that would have been a better, more touching way to do the scene, and would have had more chance of me liking it (though I probably still would have felt very weird about it). (I think it especially would have been better because it would show that Alucard himself liked it, not that Greta was forcing the role on him.) I know that it was meant to be something touching, and pretty much everyone seems to like it (and I have seen some cute posts about it), so I just tried to like it too, and focus on the fact that all they were really trying to say was he was having a nice relationship with the kids, and that was indeed sweet.

But yeah, when I heard Greta say “I heard some of them calling you father” for me it was less a reaction of horror, and more a “HUH??!!”moment. When I heard it I was like “Alucard...you agree with this???!! This is how you see yourself??!!” I almost expected Alucard to refute it and say he didn’t see himself as a father to them. Like I seriously do not see Alucard as anything remotely close to a father figure, and it felt weird and wrong to me.

Like when I saw him interacting with the kids the first time, I didn’t think “oh he’s a father figure to them.” I just thought “yay, Alucard’s playing with some kids, and getting out of his bubble!!” I didn’t have any thoughts as to what his relationship role was with them, I just thought that first interaction was lovely.

And if I saw him interacting with the kids again, I still wouldn’t go “father figure” I’d just be like “yay, Alucard’s playing with the kids again, how sweet!!”

Sometimes the relationship doesn’t need a role or a label, ya know?

And I thought it was especially strange because…he literally just met them?? Like how can they possibly start calling him father when he’s played with them once or twice? Regardless of Alucard’s side or things, what group of kids would randomly call a nice man they just met ‘father’? Is...Is this a normal thing??

Anyways, back to Alucard’s side of things, Sypha’s line about Alucard being a teenager trapped an adults body has always been something that stuck with me and shaped how I view Alucard. I definitely view him as internally much younger than he looks. No matter how much I might hate them for what they did to him, I think Sumi and Take are about the age he actually is, and their relationship with him made sense to me. He’s still a kid—or at least young—he still needs his parents in his life, really. (That’s part of why I didn’t like that Drac and Lisa don’t go to him at the end. I personally don’t think Alucard really got closure, and in my mind I think he still very much needed them, and that would have been the perfect ending to his story in my mind, where everything comes full circle; He was forced to lose his parents and grow up too early, and only when he’s started to truly grow up does he get them back.) So yeah, I really don’t see him like a father at all. One of my main focuses in my Castlevania fanfiction is his relationship with Dracula, so I very much see him as the son, not as the dad, even when Drac isn’t around.

(Sidenote, come to think of it, I think this is another reason why Greta x Alucard is a nope from me. She’s very much an adult, so I just see a discrepancy between them that makes me feel weird about them being in a romantic relationship. If we need a label I feel like she fits as an older sister for him, guiding him and giving him support. Him unloading all his problems on her within just meeting her makes more sense if he’s like a younger brother who needs to cry to his sister. I felt weird about it in a romantic context when it was so fast. I mean I know he was desperate to talk to someone, and I probably would have done the same, but still).

“I feel like Alucard needed to process his trauma and learn to trust and be whole again, he's young himself too, why he needed to be a "father figure" all of a sudden is beyond me”

^^ THIS. EXACTLY THIS.

I was honestly really hoping they’d go in depth into him dealing with his trauma, and how he’s still hurting from the wounds of it, and how he needs to heal. I thought that’s what his S4 arc would be about. I don’t think they gave him the chance to really process and work through everything that happened. (Again, I don’t think him just unloading all his problems on a nice stranger is truly working through his trauma. I would have much rather watched him struggle to trust her, and him telling her about his trauma happen later, and be difficult for him, and a deep, heartfelt moment).

Like I was saying in my other post, I think if they framed his arc in how he dealt with the town collectively, I think that would have fit better, and been more touching and satisfying. I would have liked to see him struggling to trust humans, and then see as time progressed how several different people in the town liked him and meant him no harm, and how he realized he could trust them, and that he liked them too. It wasn’t that he had a bad romantic partner and needed a new one. He believed he needed to be punished for killing his father, and in his deep loneliness he let these kids into his house and heart, and they turned on him because he was half vampire. That’s something pretty deeply ingrained, and not something a new romance just fixes by existing. He needed to work through that in a much deeper way.

I know this is gonna be a very unpopular opinion, and it's totally cool if you disagree, but in a weird way... I sort of disliked Alucard’s ending. Don’t get me wrong, Im glad he’s happy, and I’d certainly prefer it to him just getting more trauma like last season (*shudders*), and I don’t think him opening up his castle (and his heart) to humanity is a bad way to end his story, certainly not. I think that fits. And my heart did melt a bit at the "I'm weirdly happy" scene. But, where everyone else is like “*sobbing* happy endings for all our faves” ...I see the creators of the show trying to wrap everything up in a neat little bow, and while that’s certainly not all bad, I don’t love every aspect of that. Theres a time and place for that, but a show based on video games, for which there’s more content in these storylines isn’t one of them in my mind.

Sometimes some of the sadness needs to linger. At the very least, let it linger at the beginning of the season so you can work through it in a powerful way, you know? It may have been tough to see Alucard be more closed off, but I think it would have been more satisfying to see him open up his heart and go back to his old self if we saw his trauma leave lingering effects at the beginning.

To me it didn’t feel like a satisfying arc, it felt like the fairytale ending of “oh look he’s not apprehensive about humanity even after what happened! Oh look he got the girl! And the Castle’s a happy place now! Look he’s not sad anymore! He’s even a father figure to these kids! He’s totally moved on!” And all those things can be awesome when done properly, and when they have depth to them. But they didn’t work through the trauma to get there, so it felt surface level to me, and too fast. I really liked that first episode, and how we saw the two sides of him—one that's become more closed off, and the other that still buries the human despite his comments—and I also really liked the first interaction with the kids, and thought that was one of the few interactions that had depth to it and fit with his arc well. Having it go beyond “they’re helping him learn to like and trust humanity again, and displaying who he really is inside” ended up detracting from the power of his relationship with them in my mind.

Having played SOTN, I think an ingrained loneliness and sadness are, in a way, a key part of Alucard’s character. That sounds really sad and awful out loud but…there are some people that just have a sadness or a loneliness to them, and that's not entirely bad. Here’s the thing…it can make them that much more beautiful. The fact that they still fight for good, even when they see all the dark, those moments when they find true friends, despite how alone they are, those moments when they are happy, are so much more powerful. They just are always a bit…separate from other people. One of my favorite lines in anything is the line "We are connected by our darkness, not by our light" in Pandora Hearts. I think it's a line that fits Alucard well, and it’s always something that’s drawn me personally to him. Don't get me wrong, I don’t think Alucard’s all dark and sad and lonely, he’s definitely got a bright side to him too, of course he does. But I also don't think he ever is able to fully accept the vampire side of himself, and I find that interesting, and worth exploring. Personally I was honestly hoping for the show makers to come up with a bittersweet reason for why he went to sleep for 300 years, (and I thought that's why they set things up with Sumi and Taka that he’d have something against his vampire nature). Personally it felt like they were trying to say “oh he’s all better now, he’ll never be sad or lonely again” and while that’s nice I suppose…for me it sort of…stops feeling like Alucard, in a way? I don't know if I'm explaining it right, or if that sounds terrible...😅

Anyways, back to the topic at hand. I do agree that’s very common of fandom that people are like “boom! Just add water! Instant father figure!” and I don’t love it either. Sometimes it can be cute if it truly fits, but it doesn’t fit every relationship between an adult-looking character and a kid character, and shouldn't be the first place people go to. In the same way every relationship doesn’t have to be romantic, not every relationship has to be parental/familial either. Sometimes it feels like fandom culture isn't really okay to have some characters just be good friends. A good friendship can be more wonderful than a romance sometimes.

If we have to put a label on it, I think he seemed like a nice older brother figure to them? I think that fits who he is in my mind. But father? Nope. Not for me. And again, I don’t think it needs a label.

Thanks again for sending me this ask!! It was nice to get the chance to work through some more of my feelings here too. Sorry if I went too overboard. And I hope I don’t sound too terribly negative, it really was a great season, and I definitely liked some parts of his arc, just not all of it.

If you or anyone else reading would like to discuss with me more, be my guest!! 💕

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