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dragoncookies · 2 months

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The Unlocked Healing Center Scene

There are many, MANY scenes in which you could pick apart the ever-loving shit out of Fitz's dialogue and his actions, or just look at how his character is treated from the POV the scene is being told from and compare that to what objectively might be happening.

But one of my favorite's has got to be the Unlocked healing center scene from Keefe's POV, because GOLLY was Fitz just bagged on in that scene, in an almost undetectable way.

(This also isn't meant to be hate on Keefe btw. He's a fine character, not my absolute favorite, but there's no reason to hate on him. It just so happens that Keefe's POV of Fitz is especially patronizing in this scene).

First of all, Shannon starts the scene with presenting us with how lonely and sad he was, just straight up:

”sadness

Nervousness

Regret

Loneliness

Plus a hefty dash of anger.

Coming straight from Fitz” (-Unlocked, idk what page lmao).

I mean, the man was grieving. He just broke up with his maybe girlfriend AND lost the only chance he had to finding his terrorist older brother (who might or might not want to end him and who has caused him and his family immense stress/trauma for the past 4 books if not their entire lives to a degree) in one fell swoop (because of the maybe girlfriend he trusted a lot, not to mention Fitz values trust almost more than he does love so you could basically say the girl he loved).

Me personally? I would just cease to exist after that, but here we have sad, nervous, regretful, lonely and angry Fitz in the healing center waiting for his maybe-bro to wake up.

Once Keefe DID wake up, Fitz was nothing if not worried for Keefe and trying to comfort Keefe. Fitz was obviously GENUINELY worried for Keefe. Look at this:

”Fitz tore a hand through his boringly perfect hair. ‘I get why your mad. But I’m only trying to help. I know what you’re going through-‘

’Right-you totally know what it’s like to have you mom do deadly experiments on you,’ Keefe muttered. ‘I must’ve forgotten that part of the Vacker history.”

’Maybe not,’ Fitz conceded, ‘but I know what it’s like to have a traitor in the family. And I also remember how scary it is to wake up in one of these cots after being brutally attacked-just like I know how hard it is to talk about what’s wrong, because it feels like you’re admitting the Neverseen beat you. But they only win if you keep pretending everything’s normal, because you end up making the damage permanent.’

’I’m not damaged-‘

‘You’re right. That’s the wrong word.’ Fitz blew out a breath. ‘Look, all I’m trying to say is that I wouldn’t be walking right now if I hadn’t let Elwin help me. I probably wouldn’t even be alive. So I want to make sure you get the help you need-and you do need it, Keefe. No matter what you believe. But accepting help doesn’t make you weak. It just means you’re taking care of yourself.’”

Such an underrated Fitz moment, imo.

First and foremost, lets just take a second to point out the "boringly perfect" hair comment. I don't know why this stuck out to me, but it shows how differently these two characters think. While Fitz has his hair styled "perfectly" because its been his lifestyle to maintain a perfect façade, here we can see that Keefe STILL doesn't understand just what goes beyond this perfect façade of Fitz's. Keefe values freedom, loves rebellion, and his hairstyle reflects that. Keefe makes it messy, but a masterpiece. To Keefe, Fitz's hair is just generic and standard. Perfect, well presenting, but it follows the standard of whatever is considered "perfect" to elves, so we can see that it is repulsive to Keefe's nature.

This is much the same as how much Keefe sees the scale of what Alvar's disappearance has done to the Vacker Family. Keefe continues to reject the idea that the Vackers aren't as perfect as he once believed. As soon as Fitz even mentioned the idea of empathy for Keefe, the idea of relating to him, Keefe immediately rejects it, and rejects the idea that Fitz could have gone through any mental/emotional turbulence as a result of the horrendous situations Alvar has put him and his family through. I mean, for crying out loud, Fitz had literally tried to kill his brother in an emotional mess of conflicting feelings and guilt just two books ago, and unheard of crime for the elves. Fitz had to spend weeks and WEEKS in the healing center. Keefe was there when Alvar, on his deathbed, described how the "Vacker Legacy" was what drove him to a life of crime.

Yes, Keefe was having a rough time to put it lightly, but taking it out on others isn't justified (if you want to be mad at Fitz for taking his anger out on others, now you have to be mad at Keefe for taking his emotional distress out on his friend). We can certainly understand it, but we can't justify it, and because the POV is from a likable character, we're more willing to trust what the character says. Since Keefe presents Fitz's actions in a way that makes them seem appalling and jerk-y, and if Keefe presents this idea in his POV that Fitz is always Mr. Perfect and never has trouble in his family, then the readers are more likely to believe that. Objectively, based on what Fitz is saying and doing, we can see he's struggled and is struggling a lot. Fitz had to have worked on learning to receive help himself (asking for help is a SKILL, believe it or not) in order to truly explain how important it is to Keefe in the way he did.

Who just says "Accepting help doesn't make you weak, it just means you're taking care of yourself" and doesn't mean it in the kindest, most sincerest way ever?

Not just Keefe can take this advice, anyone should.

Side note: I also feel like he gave himself bad flashbacks to when he called Sophie damaged in book two when he accidentally used the word here. Ouch.

At another point in this scene, Keefe also shows how irrational he can be, as Fitz is simply trying to do the right thing and get Keefe the help he needs, and Keefe is ABSOLUTELY DEMONIZING Fitz for it. Keefe's health was Fitz's priority, and Fitz didn't necessarily care if he stepped on Keefe's toes to get him the help that he couldn't see he needed (Sophie was in the room as this point):

Unlocked page 561:

“‘Uh, you should probably step back, Sophie,’ Fitz warned. ‘I think your emotions are too strong for him.’

’No, they’re not!’ Keefe argued-and wow,did his voice sound strained. He cleared his throat and tried again. ‘Nothings wrong. I swear, I’m fine.’

’He keeps saying that,’ Fitz told her-because he was begging for a face-punch. And if the world hadn’t gotten so spinny, Keefe might’ve given it to him when Fitz added, ‘But Keefe’s been picking up all our emotions without even trying. And he’s always been able to do that with you, so I think you’re overwhelming him right now.’

’Okay, I’m done liking Captain Perfectpants,’ Ro announced.

‘Keefe was right there with her-which was probably why he blurted out, ‘Uh, for the record, most of the emotions are coming from you, Fitzy. You wouldn’t happen to have some unresolved feelings for anyone in this room, would you?’”

I'm not gonna lie, if somebody read my emotions and called me out on something that I was VERY touchy about, and was a relatively new blow, I would just leave the room. That was an A class jerk move right there.

Not saying Keefe IS a jerk, because all the characters have acted jerk-y in the series and everyone has their moments, but it was still pretty rude of Keefe to make that comment. What’s annoying is that nobody in the books seemed to react as though it is rude when Keefe makes these kinds of comments. If it was anybody else who had said that, there would be an apology required in order for that character to be redeemed.

Keefe also literally wanted to PUNCH Fitz, because Fitz was...making sure Keefe stayed alive? Because Fitz cared enough about Keefe's health to make sure the details were pressed out and make sure the facts of the situation were clear? So Elwin could actually do his job??

Keefe hated Fitz in this moment because Fitz was being a practical, helpful guy, but from Keefe's perspective it just makes Fitz look like an asshole.

Ro’s unsolicited opinions are also very unhelpful, since Ro is written to be in support of what Keefe wants (or just in support of whatever will make Sokeefe happen…she’s kind of creepy about her Sokeefe obsession ngl), it makes her more likable and therefore the readers are more likely to trust what she says or take her opinion as their own.

But Ro saying things like “I’m done liking Captain Perfect Pants” is rude, because it 1), insinuates she will only like someone based on how much they please her, and 2) denotes him to his perfect facade, which undermines his brilliant and complex character.

Eventually, Keefe tried to apologize to Sophie in a telepathic conversation. He didn’t remotely consider apologizing to Fitz.

I mean, Keefe was crazy terrified and hurting but...I don’t get how when Fitz was hurt and acted out he was suddenly “toxic and trash”, but when Keefe did the exact same thing nobody said anything.

And nobody even knows Fitz is hurt because nobody asks him. Nobody talks to him about how hard the Alvar situation is for him because they’re scared he’ll just get mad and yell at them, or they just assume he’s just mad about it and wanted to kill Alvar.

Is nobody going to see that there’s some deep emotional/mental trauma to unpack here? Is he always just going to have to help himself all the time?

At least Keefe has people who understand him, who are willing to talk to him about what’s wrong and help him through it. He had a seriously traumatic childhood, and I’m not comparing their trauma or anything, that’s not what I’m trying to do. What I am trying to say is, Keefe’s got a whole crew of people helping him, people who want to make sure he’s okay, people who care for him, and he rejects it, deems them annoying in Fitz’s case, and just discounts the effort and energy they spend on him.

There is a lot more to unpack from this scene, but it’s mostly all along a similar vein of what I talked about here (this is long enough haha). There are also tons of little details about the Vackers in Unlocked that just emphasize how pressured Fitz is into the Vacker mold, and how the Alvar drama just makes it worse.

For example: reading Fitz’s registry file, it says that it is “highly suggested that he choose someone on his match list” because of how dragged the Vacker name already is. So when people want to get upset with him for choosing "his reputation over Sophie", we have text evidence that its more complicated than that. Fitz isn't just choosing between being liked by the world and the person he likes, he's choosing whether or not to maintain a level of peace within his family at his own sacrifice. SPOILERS! (if you haven't read stellarlune don't read the rest of this paragraph). Eventually it was his sacrifice, because as of stellar lune, Sokeefe is official. Fitz couldn't repair things with Sophie quick enough, so she moved on.

It also mentions in Keefe’s detention slip write ups about how people actually hassle Biana and Fitz at Foxfire for Alvar being apart of the Neverseen. Because of their family, because of the Alvar drama, Fitz and Biana can't go to school without people bullying them.

Theres also this sad note in Fitz’s Base Quest instructions where Fitz writes about how you can use you special abilities while playing base quest, but included a little side note that said “but it's no fun when you turn invisible the whole time and hide Alvar!” Which just insinuates that Alvar would turn invisible and leave to go do whatever else he wanted while Fitz still thought they were playing. :(

Depressing.

#kotlc #fitz vacker #keeper of the lost cities #keefe sencen #kotlc headcanon #kotlc fitz #sophie foster #kotlc sophie #kotlc stellarlune #kotlc keefe #kotlc unlocked #kotlc unraveled #kotlc keefe sencen #kotlc fandom

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twig-tea · 7 months

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Only Friends Ep 6 Scene By Scene

This is the episode we've all been waiting for. It's the first episode where everyone is objectively a bit of an asshole; it's the first episode where truths are finally talked about, it's the episode that starts to answer two of my most burning questions (what is Boston's home life like, and where is April?), and interestingly it's the first episode we get without any obvious narrative framing or character perspective.

It was so interesting, as the clear pivot point of the story, that there was no obvious framework this ep, but this entire episode was parallels and callbacks and hypocrisy/relying on viewer knowledge to understand all of the subcurrents. I have so many thoughts that I'm talking about each scene so this post is LONG.

First scene: Top and Mew by the pool. Not enough people are giving Force and Book credit for keeping the awkward tension between these two even though they are having textbook cute moments, because these characters still don't trust one another and this scene establishes that before the rest of the episode blows them up: Mew says he's not sure they'll be together in 3 months, explicitly calling out the fragility of their relationship; and Top gets defensive at Mew insinuating he doesn't need a relationship and doesn't trust that they'll stay together, and straight-up lies that he's stopped doing drugs and having casual sex [though I do wonder how much he believes it's a lie because he's clearly cut back from his usual, and when someone does something all the time changing to doing it rarely does feel like not a big deal in comparison] and asks what else about himself he needs to change for Mew [all, by the way, while Mew is preparing to undergo permanent surgery to his eyes for Top]. We also get this called back later in the ep when Mew tells Ray to quit drugs and Ray says sure, and I have to wonder how many times that exchange has happened and if it's partly why Mew is suspicious of Top's "easy" change. Also interesting that Mew seems to be one of the only people in this friend group who has two parents (his moms) that care about him and who also have a good relationship with each other. Mew's point that he doesn't need fulfillment from a relationship because he gets it from his friends and family is interesting; especially given his friends. [Sidenote: This is basically how I feel about my own life so I am curious how other people read this assertion.] The ephemeral change of sleeping around and doing drugs vs the physical and permanent change of Lasik is really standing out to me this scene as significant.

Second scene: the meeting with the professor. It's interesting that even though they're presenting, they're the ones sitting down. Cheum says they can keep personal and professional lives separate and Ray turns to stare directly at Boston. I love that this is even before anyone else knew that the Boston/Top hookup was at the soft launch party for the hostel. Also noting Cheum's catty comment about even Boston helping; this girl is so much messier than people give her credit for [just saw @lurkingshan 's breakdown of this episode as I continue to update this post and yessssss call her out!!]

Third scene: noodles. This is I think the same place they planned the soft launch party. I'm seeing parallels with everyone pressuring Boston to date Nick to everyone pressuring Mew to sleep with Top in the first ep. Also, interesting that Cheum promises to behave this time [and then definitely doesn't]. We've all (or at least I have) been wondering where April is and now we get some explanation. I do wish they'd established this as more of a pattern for Cheum to complain like this, but I'll take it as setup now. The way Ray and his seething is invisible in this scene has been covered beautifully here [by @poetry-protest-pornography and @respectthepetty ].

Fourth scene: Ton and Nick wakeboarding. The parallels here to Top/Mew are twofold: we get the similar sitting by the water parallel from earlier this episode, in which there is a clear undercurrent of hypocrisy between what the characters are saying and what the audience knows about them (that conversation with/about Gap was so good, with the tension in Nick knowing he still has that audio clip and still hasn't deleted it as Boston berates Gap for the same thing), and then there is the contrasting parallel to when Mew took Top wakeboarding for the first time with the rest of his friend group. In contrast, Ton took Nick here alone, clearly still trying to play this game of not dating Nick but doing things with him that they would do if they were dating, that send extremely mixed signals. This scene again underscores the fragility of the relationship Boston and Nick have and how easily it can be broken.

Fifth scene: The hospital. Sand and his mom, in which we see how used he is to taking care of someone who is a bit of a mess [affectionate], and how he can still only be somewhat honest with his mom about his relationship with Ray (more than we'd expect between a 20something and their mom, but less than we the audience know is the truth--they're just having fun but it's not what he wants). And then the confrontation between Top and Sand. Top characterizes his relationship with Mew as "I get what I want" and I have to wonder how much of that is posturing to annoy Sand and how much of it is honesty. I did also think that maybe he meant it when he said "I hope you get what you want soon" because he wants Ray's attention away from Mew.

Sixth scene [start of part 2]: Sand intentionally drops and stomps on his phone to have an excuse to borrow Nick's so he can steal the sex audio. This is the first time that Sand consciously does something shitty to one of his friends, and I am living for it--let good characters make bad decisions! The parallel here is of course to Boston getting his phone fixed by Nick and having Nick steal his photo and adding one of his own from the beginning of the series; also a small one of Sand using his mom as an excuse to lie to his friend, the way Top used his dad as an excuse to lie to Mew the night he slept with Boston [not a comparison Sand would like, which is why I enjoy it]. I love that we see Nick get worried at the end of this scene because he's a phone tech and of course would know to check what Sand did with his phone.

Seventh scene: Top taking care of Mew after Lasik; this is maybe the least tense scene between Mew and Top, and the fact that Mew can barely see and is drugged for it is on point. I do also like that Top isn't great at caretaking but he is trying. This scene reminds me of Mew taking care of Ray and vice versa, especially the latter when Ray kisses Mew while he's sleeping and how that's contrasted with Top (Mew's boyfriend) only kissing Mew's forehead when he realizes he's asleep. The sketches that Top does are also really interesting, and how they hit Mew later is even more fascinating. The conversation they have in which Mew establishes that this is all happening right after they've had penetrative sex for the first time (so not long after ep 5) and makes clear he's still nervous about his performance and then credits Boston for their relationship, setting everything up for later, is just so good, it underscores the importance Mew has been putting on his virginity and sets the betrayal up to hit harder. I love how Top pushes back on giving Ton credit for their relationship here because it makes him so uncomfortable.

Eighth scene: Sand calls Ray out to play the stolen clip for him. This feels like a parallel to Boston calling Top out to play the video of Mew and Ray kissing. Other folks [ @xceanlynx and @respectthepetty linked here] have pointed out that in this scene Sand is choosing his hatred of Top over his potential relationship with Ray here, which I don't disagree with, but also what occurred to me here because of this parallel is the similarity in that both Sand and Boston seem to be motivated by their jealousy of Mew in these scenes too. I also just can't stop thinking about how wild it is that everyone recognizes Top and Ton by their sex noises alone.

Ninth scene: Boston and Nick with Boston's dad. We finally get some background for Boston and he clarifies he's always been planning to bail on Thailand to go to New York. It's interesting that it's made explicit that if Boston fails he's more likely to go to New York sooner, especially after the warning their teacher gave about the hostel project and how we know it's Boston's drama that is threatening to blow that project up. Boston's conversation with his dad is a contrast with Sand and his mom earlier; while Sand sleeping around was not judged by his mom, she did warn him about his feelings, while Boston's dad seemed to celebrate his callousness. The way Boston continues to ask Nick to not be dramatic while stirring up constant drama in his own friend group, and his insistence that his relationship with Nick is special but not a relationship is really something. Also that this convo takes place in Boston's dark room, which gets called out later as one of his regular hookup locations, and where Nick first got suspicious about Boston and Top, is interesting, especially in the context of permanent physical photos vs digital recordings that you can't necessarily erase vs how gossamer thin their relationship security is, and how tied up in voyeurism all of these things are.

Tenth scene [start of part 3]: Ray confronts Boston at the hostel (blatantly running contrast to "we can keep personal and professional lives separate"). We see Boston nervous here when first being confronted before he decides what approach to take with Ray to keep his mouth shut (not for the first time; we saw him nervous in the showers when he first tried to get Top to have sex). Also, I just have to say, respect to Ray for going to Boston first to confirm it's true before deciding what to do with the clip.

Eleventh scene: the birthday party at Yo's bar. It's poetic that the start and end of the Mew/Top relationship is because of conversations at Yolo. Once again, the spectre of failing school [because of the project] comes up in Mew's birthday wish. Cheum immediately breaks her promise to be "good" and teases Boston about Nick. She also says "everyone is dating someone now", apparently forgetting entirely about Ray. This entire conversation was so passive aggressive and @lurkingshan 's post (linked above) breaks it down really well. I am fascinated by Mew's reaction to Top's gift; I hope we get more insight into that because he seemed legitimately shaken, and it didn't seem to be positive. Also highlighting that once again Boston is credited for their relationship (this time by Cheum), and both Boston and Top seem deeply uncomfortable with it but Top doesn't argue it this time.

Twelfth scene: Ray and Mew in the bathroom. I already mentioned Ray's promise to quit and how it parallels Top "quitting for Mew" at the start of the ep; Mew is expressing care for Ray here but in a way that is distant and frankly a bit callous (to say "you'll be dead by thirty" to a guy who was/is suicidal is not the smartest approach even if it isn't intentionally referencing that). He insists that Ray not drive home but doesn't take his keys or stay with him to make sure he does actually get a ride, which is admittedly a big ask on your own birthday but just indicates the intentional boundaries Mew tries to set with Ray about not caring too much, I think. I don't think this makes him a terrible person, but it makes him not a great friend. This is in contrast to Sand, who stayed with Ray and made sure he would not drive before he even knew him, and followed him at the end of this ep to make sure he would not hurt himself or someone else even after Ray pushed him away.

Cursed thirteenth scene: Ray blows everything up [ shoutout to @liyazaki for this perfect post]. First, the same song is playing as the silent disco, calling back how Top's fate was sealed before Mew and Top had even gotten very far. And then once again, Sand's band is interrupted so that someone can take the mic, just as Top did when he asked out Mew for the first time. Mew calls out Cheum and April for their less than perfect relationship despite what it seems on the surface and more specifically calls out Cheum for being a bit of an asshole actually, mentions that Boston is a gossip about his hookups (which is not actually something we've seen evidence of, and I'm interested in how true it is), tells Nick he's not special, tries to explain to Mew that he (Ray) is not who Boston thinks he is and didn't share the clip with Mew to get him for himself [only knowable on rewatch of course]. Cheum finally admits that she fully knew Ray was in love with Mew this whole time and has just been ignoring it/pretending not to [vindication!!] and accuses Mew of exactly what he was trying to deny. Top finally acts his nastiest self in front of Mew, putting his arm around Mew's shoulder and claiming ownership for the second time this party in Ray's face (first time was when Yo joked that she wanted to go out with Mew now that the glasses were gone). Sand can't get Ray to stop, and Ray tries to shame Sand needing money by implying he should have sex with Ray for money. Ray goes after Boston, and Mew can't get Ray to shut up either so he hits him (even knowing why Ray is acting like this; and that's my favourite part of this entire episode, that Mew has decided he wants his moment to confront Top his way, once again using sex to control his feelings--this time to make him humiliated rather than fall in love--and he's willing to punch his friend to get his moment, and I am obsessed).

Fourteen: Only Sand goes after Ray, once again the only one actively trying to stop him from killing himself or someone else on the road. Sand snaps and yells at Ray to pay attention to him, Ray's "what are we to each other?" comes off as desperate rather than accusing, which I love--the question of what they are to one another has come up so many times and neither is willing to admit they want to be more first. Ray again calls Sand a whore this time explicitly, and drives off. Sand follows Ray. This is a beautiful parallel to the first time Sand took Ray home. Like every other couple scene this episode, the tenuousness of their connection is highlighted and even threatened in this scene, but Sand doubles down.

Fifteen: April and Cheum finally have a scene. They reconcile, but (like all of the couples) it feels tenuous. April asks that Cheum not lie to her just to avoid conflict, and Cheum promises to do that--but I am fully expecting this to not last. Since we know Cheum knew Ray was in love with Mew this whole time, it's confirmed that her lying or just glossing over reality to keep things easy is her personality not just something she does with her girlfriend's films.

Sixteen: the scene that we've all been waiting for. This was such a good fake-out, and it's the start of Mew's unhinged era he promised us all at the start of Top's pursuit of Mew. The way he set the stage, prepared a script, and as best I can figure out, TIMED A REMIX OF THE SEX AUDIO TO HIS SEDUCTION is absolutely sending me. Being more sexually confident, initiating sex and holding Top down, and making sure he could see Top's face when he realized what was happening, whew boy what a set-up. I am thinking about how much of that was him wanting Top to feel tricked and violated the way he felt tricked and violated. I also love Mew jumping to the conclusion that Boston and Top planned this and were laughing at him because that's a) indicative of something Mew would do, clearly; b) totally something people think when they're embarrassed, they assume everyone else knows and is laughing at them; c) not totally wrong because Boston did make fun of Mew's lack of experience to Top (shoutout to the YouTube comments for the reminder).

And that last sentence of the episode deserves its own paragraph because it just so perfectly encapsulates exactly where Mew went wrong in his thinking from the start: "I wasn't good enough for you to love only me"... As though other people's behaviour is controlled by your goodness and earned through your own behaviour. As though love and sex are value judgments. As though the world is fair. As though goodness is an objective judgment that allows you to control the people around you. This thinking is so harmful and so pervasive. It's really a sign of Mew's desperate need to be in control (in this version of events, even Top having sex with Boston is actually Mew's doing, which means in theory Mew could prevent it from happening again if he betters himself). And it confirms what we all suspected Mew's been trying to do this whole time: Manipulate Top into changing into a "better person" [read: monogamous and drug-free] through his own behaviour.

I also noticed that almost every camera shot in this entire episode was close faces and there was a lot of hand-held camera work. Intimacy, instability, lack of clarity, all of these things were coming through the way it was shot.

Ahdhsh tumblr keeps eating parts of this so I'm going to stop. But whew this episode just gave and gave!!

@ranchthoughts @slayerkitty @wen-kexing-apologist @neuroticbookworm @waitmyturtles @lurkingshan @distant-screaming @chickenstrangers @clara-maybe-ontheroad

Tagging the ephemerality squad because if any of you pick up on any of these threads and parallels and tie them into your meta I want to know about it! Tumblr is showing me only like half of what people are posting these days and unfollowing people without my consent so pls tag me

#only friends the series #only friends meta #only friends #ofts meta #ofts #ephemerality squad #bl meta #typed so i can stop thinking it #going to also use my relevant tags #let a main character be hot in glasses for the whole show you cowards!!!#no character should be perfect this is my ultimate agenda

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sasquapossum · 25 days

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On my mind: why has there been such an increase in adulation and loyalty toward obviously defective people like Trump and Musk? Have people become more gullible than they were when I was younger? Seems unlikely. We internalized all sorts of stupid shit too, but it wasn't so focused on personalities. Then it struck me: the problem is that we've lost faith in institutions and personalities are what's left. Consider...

Politicians: believe it or not, we used to trust that they were at least sane and working generally for some vision of public good, even when we disagreed. Not since Nixon, Reagan, Dubya, etc.

Journalists: we used to trust them to report the facts in a reasonably objective way, even when that isn't necessarily what they were doing. Then came Fox and that all went out the window.

TV/radio media became all about engagement, a form of entertainment, not actual reporting. Now it's all podcasts and TikTok or YouTube, but basically same. There are some who believe one particular favorite speaks the truth, but few who would say these folks in general are trustworthy.

Print media failed in a different way, partly by being partisans for the establishment (e.g. NYT and the Iraq war) but mostly by totally missing the boat on going online. They could have agreed on a single shared subscription or micropayment system, but they each had to be greedy with their own paywalls etc. So their lunch got eaten by social media (who bear their own share of blame for eroding trust), and the press got even more unhinged about it.

Science, engineering, academe: we used to believe promises about new miracle materials, chemicals, drugs, etc. Even before anti-vaccine lunacy became a thing, a long string of disasters - microplastics, DDT, thalidomide - changed that.

Unions: they've experienced a resurgence very recently, but that's almost a "dead cat bounce" after being moribund for decades. Some people would blame Reagan and PATCO. I think the collapse of major union-heavy industries - auto, steel, mining - had more to do with it, but the result was the same.

I could go on - there's a whole other post I could write about the mixed role of churches in this context - but you get the idea. The fact that in many cases there were good reasons to withdraw our trust doesn't change the fact that such a general withdrawal creates a vacuum which we've filled with hero worship instead. That's where people like Musk and Trump come from.

Here's the kicker: it's not an accident. Undermining trust in institutions has been part of the authoritarian playbook since forever. Julius Caesar is the earliest example that most people would be familiar with, hence the silly illustration, but the phenomenon goes back much further than that. Creating that vacuum is central to authoritarian strategy. Remember Reagan's "nine most terrifying words"? Some people think of that as a libertarian statement but, with the so-called Moral Majority and various militia groups (then as now galvanized by immigration) behind him, that misses the mark. It was part of an authoritarian strategy, demeaning the administrative state and permanent civil service (i.e. institutions) in favor of raw executive power (i.e. personalities).

I'm all for unions, co-ops, mutual aid, etc. but they can't stand alone. Never have. Without a government enforcing rules (including against itself), anarchy will always evolve toward autocracy. If you think the role of government should be minimized, then congratulations, you're part of the Reagan Left ... or worse. A red hat with a hammer and sickle on it is still a red hat. You are effectively supporting authoritarianism whether you mean to or not. Also, since there's no significant left-authoritarian element in US politics - no Stalin or Mao and thank FSM for that - that means you're supporting right-authoritarians. You should stop, especially if you're a member of a group that would suffer most under such a regime.

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eightmagicballs · 9 months

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Filthy Reins Fix

Okay nerds, here's the skinny.

(long story short yes you can have nicer reins no it's not a simple or perfect fix)

Reins ingame (kinda), yay (kinda)!

@studiosweetpeacc has been kind enough to let me upload the bridle that they made and I've been using to figure out reins since I was too lazy to make my own :') All LODS (but there is some clipping around the noseband at the lowest LOD bc I clearly can't decimate to save my life), base game swatches & gold versions HERE. You will also need the Invisible Reins fix I made for these reins HERE otherwise the default reins might clip through.

Just drag and drop both the bridle file and the invisible reins file into your mods folder, and you're good to go!

Note: These reins are always permanently visible. It does look a bit janky, but from what I've seen, it's better than nothing, and it'll do for now until I can muster the strength for the proper fix that's needed. Please bear with me until then :')

For the CC makers, read on to see how to apply this absolutely rancid addition to your fine work!

First, download this folder. It's got two packages, reinsinvisible.package (to hide the default ones) and a reinsOnly.blend file. You need the invisible reins in your mods folder to stop the default reins from clipping through yours.

Open the file, and import your finished bridle.

Delete the bone_bone_shape.001 layer and the rig.001 layer, you don't need them.

The reins UV map is sitting in the 'Bridle' section of the map, this is where they'll get their textures from, not the reins section. Make sure you move the reins UV islands out of the way, you'll be rearranging them with the bridle UV islands later.

Make sure both your reins and bridle layers are in Object Mode

Click the reins layer, and then CTRL/Cmd+Click your bridle layer (order doesn't matter)

Make your your mouse is on the view that shows the reins & bridle on it, then right click and select 'Join'.

They will now be on the same layer.

Now you can rearrange the UV islands as you see fit, and it's pretty much standard operating procedure from here on out, except you've got extra parts to your bridle mesh now.

IMPORTANT.

This here is the Rein bone that originally attached the reins to the noseband. That sticky-up bit is what keeps the reins attached to the bone. It's honestly not hugely noticeable in-game, unless you're looking real close. When you're making your own reins (which I recommend as this mesh has been beaten into submission, and it shows), use this reins file as your base for copying weights, etc. Any change will work, but your must have this sticky up bit that connects to that little blue thing as its what attaches the rest of the bridle to that bone and stops your reins from floating off when the horse turns its head to the left or right.

Okay, I think that's it.

I did say that this was a filthy fix.

If I can be of any help if you do decide to add this to your bridle mesh, please let me know. AND DON'T FORGET: you need to include the Invisible Reins package with your cc otherwise the default reins will clip through yours.

I do plan on making a better fix to this, especially since I'm after recently learning that there might be a source horse rig hidden somewhere, as there's a sim rig that is in fact capable of making overrides to every sim rig in the game (adding bones, etc). It's very exciting news if this is the case, as it means that it might be possible to add bones for things like martingales and stirrups as there are people who have added things like tails to sims already.

#sims 4 horse cc #ts4 cc #ts4cc #sims 4 cc #ts4 horse ranch cc #sims 4 bridle cc #simblr

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octoberclidan · 11 months

Text

We're Gonna Look After You

Request: Hello I absolutely in love with your fics especially the platonic ones. May I request another one for TFW? Y/n is a kid with powers like scarlet witch and after being possessed by Amara she develops some PTSD and starts to be more ruthless in hunts and with the main villains. TFW is there to make y/n see herself as the good and joyfull kid she was before.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader, Sam Winchester x Reader, Castiel x Reader (all platonic)

Note: I only write readers as adults so the reader here doesn't have a specified age but is 18+. Dean refers to her as 'kid' though since he's Dean.

Story

[Y/N] woke up to shouting. Was that her name she heard? Her head hurt, there was a sharp pain in her temple. Her whole body ached, she felt exhausted. It was dark, there was no light wherever she was. Or maybe there was, were her eyes closed? She couldn't tell, she could only feel pain. The shouting was getting louder, it definitely sounded like her name. It was too loud, her ears were hurting, she was shaking. Was she crying? She felt lost, empty, dark. Her hands cupped her ears, trying to block out the shouting. She felt herself rocking back and forth, her knees pressed to her forehead, and then she heard a second voice. This one was higher pitched, it sounded a bit more like a scream than a shout. It sounded a lot like her own voice. "Get out, get out, stop shouting, leave me alone". It screamed. It sounded too close, almost like it was inside her. Was it her voice? Was she the one screaming? She couldn't tell. She couldn't think properly, her mind was muddled.

Warm hands covered hers and gently pulled them away from her ears. The warm hands came with a warm voice, it wasn't shouting anymore. The voice was kind, soft, almost pleading. It was saying her name over and over again. She felt one of the hands drift down to her chin, and it pulled her face up and away from her knees. A thumb stroked her cheek and she leaned into it out of pure instinct. It felt familiar, like home. She stayed like that before taking a shaky breath and forcing her eyes open. Her vision was blurry from the tears, but she knew the face in front of her. She knew those green eyes, the freckles, the concern.

"Dean?" She whispered.

[Y/N] was taken in by Team Free Will a couple of years ago, when Dean was dealing with the Mark of Cain. They had found her on a hunt, being the lone survivor of a coven of witches who were into experimenting. She had been held captive for several years and had undergone countless experimental curses, spells, and potions by the coven, as a human test subject. Although they had kept others captive, [Y/N] was the only one still alive when Sam and Dean broke into the mansion she was being kept in. They found out very soon after that the experiments had left [Y/N] with certain powers and abilities; she could move objects with her mind, get inside people's heads, warp the reality around them.

She had no family, no friends, no money, and nowhere to go. Dean wasn't too happy with Sam's suggestion to take her in for awhile, since he said she was too dangerous, but he eventually gave in when he realised there wasn't anything else they could really do with her. They couldn't send her to Jody since her powers were too unpredictable, and they couldn't let her go off on her own without having her powers under control. Dean had suggested just killing her, complaining that they didn't have time to take her in, that dealing with the Mark was more important, but Sam had quickly talked him out of that, considering she hadn't actually hurt anyone with her powers.

Dean ended up warming up to her after several weeks. They were a lot alike and enjoyed the same music and movies. They became close friends, and she also became close with both Sam and Cas. She earned a permanent place in Team Free Will by helping Sam and Cas find a way to cure Dean after he became a demon, and also helped in removing the Mark, unknowingly setting Amara loose on the world. Although Amara had left with Chuck and everything seemed to be alright again, there were rumours that she was back. Several months back, Dean and [Y/N] were out following a lead when they found her. Her vessel had weakened, and it was struggling to hold her. After a brief altercation, Amara took [Y/N]'s body. [Y/N]'s strength and power only fuelled Amara, and Amara became more powerful than ever in her new vessel. She had disappeared only a few minutes after possessing [Y/N], leaving Dean alone. He was angry at himself for letting [Y/N] get taken, she had become extremely important to him ever since she'd helped him with the Mark. He knew they would get her back, he just didn't know how long it would take or what state she'd be in. He had seen people after they'd been possessed by demons and angels and archangels; a lot of them lost their minds or would die not long after. He couldn't bring himself to imagine what sort of damage the Darkness was doing to [Y/N]'s mind and body.

They all knew they needed to find her as soon as possible, it had already been too long. The issue was, they had no leads. Amara was silent. She hadn't done anything, or at least anything that would leave a trace. It was like she'd just disappeared again. When there were a sudden and quick series of disturbances in a nearby town, the boys raced over and burst into an abandoned wearhouse, where they finally found her.

"Yeah, it's me, I'm here". Dean studied her face, relief washing over him as he realised that it really was [Y/N], and Amara was nowhere to be seen. "Come here". He pulled her close to his chest and she closed her eyes. Everything was still too loud, too bright for her. She tried to focus on the sound of his heartbeat, which was steady beneath her ear. She grabbed a fistful of his flannel, scared that if she let go she would be lost again. "Sam, you drive". She heard him say before she was lifted up. She kept her grip on him and tucked her head into his shoulder as he carried her outside to the car. She was vaguely aware of a conversation happening between Dean and Sam, but she wasn't listening. She did note that Sam's voice sounded just as concerned as Dean's. The only word she understood was 'Cas', though she didn't hear his voice.

She started to become more aware of her surroundings once they were in the car. She could hear the rumble of the engine, and she was laying in the backseat with her head in Dean's lap. Their seemingly wordless conversation began to make sense. She kept her eyes closed, the brightness still too much, but she squeezed Dean's hand to tell him she was awake. He soothingly stroked her hair as she spoke to Sam.

"What did Cas say?" She heard Dean ask.

"He said he'll meet us back at the bunker. I don't know if there's much he can help with, it's not like she has a broken arm or a scratch, Dean. It's her mind. You know we might have to-"

"We're going to put her to bed. Cas can take a look at her and we'll go from there". Dean cut Sam off.

"Dean-"

"I don't want to hear it Sam, just drive".

"You know she's lost control of her powers before, and how bad it was, if she's not in the right headspace then she's dangerous Dean. We'll need to put her somewhere other than her bedroom".

"You want to tie her up? She's just spent the last few months trapped inside her body while God's sister possessed her. You've been possessed by a demon, an angel, even Lucifer, can you image how bad the fucking Darkness was? And you want to put her in a dungeon?"

"Of course I don't want to Dean". Sam snapped at him. "I care about her just as much as you do. I locked you up when you were a demon, you locked me up when I was high on demon blood, sometimes you have to do shit you don't want to do". [Y/N] felt the car come to a stop and heard a door slam before the door beside her and Dean opened.

"What the fuck are you doing? We need to get her back to the bunker!"

"We need to have this conversation".

"She needs rest".

"We don't know what she needs. She's been gone for months, possessed by possibly the most powerful thing there is all of existence".

"Sam-"

"Dean. Listen to me. You know what she can do, she could destroy an entire town easily, especially if her mind isn't right".

"Her mind is fine". Dean defended her and she heard Sam let out a sigh of frustration.

"What are you doing? You know she's dangerous". Sam scoffed. "You wanted to kill her when we first found her because of how dangerous she is. Now you won't take any precautions at all? I'm not saying we lock her up forever and throw away the key. I'm saying we keep her somewhere secure until we know that the damage is and how to fix it". [Y/N] heard Dean take a deep breath, about to continue the argument but she managed to speak up and interrupt them.

"It's okay, Sam's right". She whispered. She opened her eyes and looked up at Dean. His frustrated expression softened as he looked down at her, and he tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear.

"We're gonna look after you kid, okay?" He said.

"[Y/N], we're going to get you back to the bunker and Cas will take a look at you, get a better idea of what to do". She looked up to Sam as he spoke. She noticed that his eyes were red, clearly upset by the situation. She nodded at him before closing her eyes again and grabbing at Dean's flannel again. Sam closed the door and got back in to the driver's side and started the car up again. The boys didn't talk for the rest of the drive, and Dean gently tracing his thumb over [Y/N]'s cheek quickly sent her to sleep.

***

It was dark when she woke up; too dark. [Y/N] began to panic, it felt like she was suffocating in the darkness. She couldn't catch her breath, for a moment she thought she was still being possessed. She managed to gulp in a breath of air and when she let it out, it came out as a scream. Light flooded the room and she could just about make out a figure coming towards her. She quickly pushed herself backwards, her hand reaching behind her for support but finding none. He hand hit emptiness and she fell backwards, hitting her back on the cold concrete floor. Looking up she could see that she'd fallen off a bed. It wasn't her bed, this wasn't her bedroom, and as her vision adjusted she could see that this was a safe room in the bunker.

"Are you okay?" The figure crouched down next to her and Cas's face came into view. "Here, let me check". He reached his fingers out to her forehead but she quickly swatted them away. All of the sudden stimulation was agitating her, she wanted to quiet and darkness. She never thought she'd want to see the dark again after being trapped in it for so long, but she felt that she needed it.

"Don't touch me. I'm fine".

"Why won't you let me help you?" Cas looked confused, and hurt that she didn't want him to touch her. He had healed her on plenty of hunts before.

"I don't need your help".

"What's going on? I heard a scream". [Y/N] moved her gaze from Cas to see Dean standing in the doorway looking down at them. "Did you fall off the bed? Are you hurt?" He rushed over to them and knelt down beside Cas, about to reach his hand out to grab her shoulder.

"Get OFF". She shouted and pushed her hand out, using her abilities to force Dean back as he slid back against the floor until he hit the wall on the opposite side of the room. He stared at her in disbelief as her eyes glowed red, and Cas rushed towards him to check for injury. She curled up, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her head on top of them. "Please get out". She muttered.

"[Y/N]-" Cas started.

"I said, get out. Please". She didn't look up at him. She didn't want to see his face, or Dean's. She knew she would see hurt and disappointment on them, probably fear too, and she didn't want to see any of that. She didn't want to see anything.

***

She was left alone for the rest of the day. She knew the door was locked, and they'd probably put up every bit of warding that they could think of to keep her in, but she didn't try to get out. She didn't want to face any of them. She didn't know whether it was night or day with the lack of a window, and she didn't know how long she spent curled up on the floor, when she heard a buzzing. Slowly lifting her head, she looked around the room but couldn't see anything. She took a deep breath before forcing herself to get up, using the bed as support. She felt the vibrations under her fingers as she leaned on the bed, and she looked down to see her phone, and two texts from Sam. She unlocked her phone to read them.

9:34pm: Sam: Hey, I just want you to know that Dean and Cas aren't upset with you or anything, they get it, you just need space.

9:35pm: Sam: Also, if you need anything, just text or call. At least one of us will be in the bunker at all times. We're here if you need us. Love you.

She sighed and put the phone back on the bed. She felt frustrated, angry, but also strangely calm. The room was quiet, it was dark, and she was alone. She lay down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Why was she still alive? Why had Amara left? All she could remember was dark emptiness, for months, and then suddenly everything was bright and loud and Dean was there. Her body had been used for months, she had no idea what for, but she knew she needed to find Amara. She needed answers, and she needed revenge. Her mind wandered to different scenarios where she faced the Darkness again, and how that might play out. The scenarios slowly turned to dreams as she fell asleep.

***

[Y/N] stayed in the room for three days without contacting anyone. Cas had brought down food and water at regular intervals, but she never acknowledged him as he came or went. The brothers hadn't come down, probably thinking Cas was safest if she used her powers again, but both Sam and Dean had texted her to see if she wanted to talk, wanted to get out, or if she needed anything. She'd ignored them. When she woke up on the fourth day, she decided that she needed to get out and find Amara. The only way to do that was convince the guys that she was okay. So, she texted Sam that morning asking for him to come down and talk to her.

"Hey, I brought you some breakfast". Sam said he walked into the room. [Y/N] was sitting on the edge of the bed and she noticed how unsure Sam looked.

"Can you sit with me?" She asked, and the worry on his face changed to confusion, which he quickly caught and changed it to a smile.

"Yeah, sure, of course". He brought the tray over and sat down beside [Y/N]. She took the tray from him and started to eat.

"How... how are you?" Sam asked.

"I feel better. I don't remember anything, just dark and quiet, that's why I was kinda overwhelmed when you guys found me. Too much light and noise".

"That's understandable. So you don't remember anything at all?" He asked and she shook her head.

"No, one minute I was with Dean, we were fighting Amara, then nothing. For months, nothing. Then you found me".

"We looked for you, every single day [Y/N], I promise".

"I know". She smiled and him and reached over to place her hand on his. "I know".

"Do you wanna come back out? Dean and Cas are both out at the moment so it's just us. I can turn the lights down low if that would make it easier?"

"I'd like to go to my own room if that's okay? I'm okay with the light now I think".

"Yeah of course, come on, I'll walk with you". Sam stood up and offered [Y/N] his hand to help her up off the bed. "I'll clear up the food, don't worry about it". He smiled and opened up the door for them and walked her to her room in the bunker. When she got to her room she sat on her bed and started to look through her phone at all of the texts she'd been ignoring. "Is it okay if Dean or Cas come check in on you later? I know they've missed you. If you'd rather they wait a bit longer that's fine, just let me know either way". Sam said as he stood in her doorway.

"I think I just want to rest today, but maybe later this evening they could say hello?"

"Sure, got it. You need anything you just let me know". He offered her another smile before leaving and closing her door. [Y/N] sat back against the headboard and pulled her laptop over and opened it up. She was going to see if she could find anything that could point to where Amara had gone. She was going to get answers to her questions.

***

It was 11pm when Dean and Cas came knocking on her bedroom door. When she opened it up to them they were both smiling down at her, though she could tell they looked a bit uncomfortable, unsure of what they were going to be greeted with. "Hey Sweetheart, how are you doing?" Dean asked as she stood back from the door, letting them in.

"Just tired, but feeling more like myself".

"Could I take a look at you now?" Cas asked and she nodded, letting him press his fingers to her forehead. "You don't seem to have any physical injuries". He smiled at her.

"I'm really sorry for shouting at you before. And Dean, I'm really, really sorry for pushing you back like that. I hope you weren't hurt".

"Nah I was fine, don't worry about it. Sam said you were just feeling overwhelmed, it's all good". Dean said as he took a seat in the chair in the corner of her room. Cas sat down on the edge of her bed and she sat down beside him. It was quiet at first, but then Cas brought up the fact that he'd been up in heaven the previous day, and [Y/N] listened intently for any mention of Amara or her whereabouts. He said that the angels suspected she was hiding away back in Hell, off earth and away from prying eyes. She was happy to get a lead, but she tried to keep it off her face to avoid the boys suspecting her intentions. It was nearing midnight when she yawned, genuinely tired, and realised that she had been leaning her head against Cas's shoulder for awhile now.

"Looks like you should be getting some sleep. Come on Cas, let's let her get some rest". Dean said as he stood up. He walked over to them and bent down, pressing his lips to the top of her hair. "Night [Y/N], we'll see you in the morning". Cas wrapped an arm around her and gave her a light squeeze before standing up and following Dean out of the room. Once they were gone, [Y/N] began getting dressed into clothes more suitable for hunting, and she packed her bag with summoning supplies. She knew she'd have to wait a bit longer before she could sneak out, but at least now she had a plan and knew how to get some more information; Crowley.

***

At 3am, [Y/N] snuck out of the bunker. She was met by a sleeping Dean who was passed out at the map table, a bunch of papers and a laptop spread out in front of him; he'd been looking for Amara too. She managed to make it out without disturbing him, and she walked away from the bunker. She needed to find a secluded area where she could summon Crowley without anyone seeing. She didn't go too far, maybe walking for 30 minutes or so into the forest area behind the bunker. She came to a small clearing and began to lay out the supplies she'd brought. She was finishing up the incantation when she heard him.

"Well, this is a surprise".

"Crowley".

"[Y/N], tell me, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Where is Amara?"

"Last I heard, hitching a ride in you".

"She left me days ago, you can't tell me you're not aware of that. I know you had to be keeping tabs on her".

"This is the first I'm hearing of it". He shrugged and smirked at her. "Where is the rest of your tragic team? You're out here in the middle of the night on your own, after spending months possessed? Can't image any of them would be happy with that". He clicked his tongue as he shook his head disapprovingly at her.

"I can handle being out on my own, you know I can knock you down with a flick of my wrist". She glowed her red eyes at him and he glowed his back in return.

"What the fuck are you doing out here?" [Y/N] froze and Crowley smiled, glancing above her head.

"Hello Squirrel".

"Crowley? Seriously [Y/N]?"

"I need to get answers Dean". She folded her arms and turned her back to Crowley to face Dean.

"I get that, I do, trust me, but we work together. You can't go wandering off on your own in the middle of the night to summon demons in the middle of nowhere".

"We were just having a nice conversation, a catch up really". Crowley said and Dean glared at him and pointed a finger at him.

"You shut up. Go back to Hell, be useful for once and find Amara". He moved his finger then to point at [Y/N]. "You come back to the bunker with me now, we need to talk".

"What, am I in trouble? I can take care of myself".

"Yeah? And if you come across Amara what exactly are you going to do to stop her from possessing you again? You couldn't do shit last time".

[Y/N] didn't have an answer to this. She just rolled her eyes before turning back around to Crowley, but he was gone. She sighed and began to collect her stuff and put it back into her bag, avoiding Dean's gaze as she did so. They walked back to the bunker in silence, and were met with Cas and Sam once they got back.

"Where did you go?" Sam asked as they walked down the steps.

"She decided to meet with Crowley". Dean explained as [Y/N] attempted to walk straight past them and to her room. She was promptly stopped by Sam's hands on her shoulders.

"Are you okay?" He looked down at her and she was surprised to see no trace of anger, only concern.

"Yeah, I just want to go to bed, so please excuse me". She shrugged Sam's hands off her and left the three of them standing there while she went to her room. She was sure they were going to stay up for awhile talking about her, but she just shut her door and got into her bed, trying to push everything out of her head so she could sleep.

***

The next few weeks were tough. She was on lockdown, at least one of the boys were always either in the same room as her, or by the entrance of the bunker. There was no way she was getting out again on her own. She hadn't actually left the bunker at all since her meeting with Crowley. She had taken to sitting in her room a lot, sifting through online reports of unusual activity, or looking through the bunker's archives under the supervision of Sam, or occasionally being forced to watch a movie or Netflix with either Dean or Cas. She also tended to see at least one of them every night when she'd wake up screaming, usually from a nightmare where she felt like she was drowning or suffocating in darkness.

She wasn't actively avoiding them during the day, she'd had conversations with each of them, and as time went on she was talking to them more and more, but she needed to get out of the bunker. One morning when she was having breakfast with all of them in the kitchen, she was relieved to hear a 'so get this' from Sam as he scrolled through something on his laptop. He read out an article which sounded very much like a werewolf, only an hour or so from the bunker. Dean had asked Cas to stay behind with her while he and Sam went out on the case, but she immediately argued and said she needed to get out and hunt something. After a long conversation, they eventually all agreed to let her go with them on the condition that she always stay within eyesight of one of them.

***

"What the hell was that?" Dean asked, his grip tight on the steering wheel. He was driving the Impala with Sam beside him, and [Y/N] and Cas in the back. They were all covered in blood and dirt from the hunt, which turned out to be three werewolves. "I'm talking to you [Y/N]". Dean glared at her in the rearview mirror when she didn't say anything.

"What was what?"

"Oh please, don't play dumb with me. You know what, you basically let that werewolf sink its claws into your shoulder".

"No I didn't, it caught me off guard".

"You literally have powers, you can sense everything around you, there's no way you would let a wolf get that close to you if you weren't distracted". Sam said as he turned around in his seat to face her. "We shouldn't have brought you out with us, it was too soon".

"I'm not a child". She glared at him.

"Could've fooled me". Dean said and she moved her glare from Sam to the back of Dean's head.

"I saw you freeze. You saw the werewolf coming for you and you didn't do anything". Cas said. [Y/N] swallowed nervously, afraid her tough exterior wasn't as convincing as she thought it was, and looked out of her window, avoiding eye contact with any of them. She couldn't argue with Cas after he'd just healed her.

"[Y/N], we're just worried about you. The nightmares, the obsessive researching, you're not yourself. We miss you, we just want you to be okay".

"I'll be okay when we find and kill Amara". She said, not taking her eyes off the window but she could tell they were exchanging looks behind her.

"Let us help you. Let us be there for you". Sam said, but she didn't reply. They didn't try to talk to her for the rest of the ride home.

***

The darkness was back. [Y/N] was drowning, there was no light, no way to know which way was up. She couldn't find a way out, she was stuck. She held her breath for as long as she could, her heart beating fast, tears streaming down her face. Her lungs were burning when she finally opened her mouth, a scream escaping. She struggled to catch her breath when she realised she was no longer in complete darkness, but she could see the desk in the corner of her room, the glow of her laptop on it. She was in her bed, she was safe for now. Her door opened and Sam rushed in, going straight to her bedside.

"Hey, hey, breathe. You're okay, you're in the bunker, you're safe". He pulled her towards him and she grabbed his shirt, still crying and struggling to breathe. "Match my breathing, take some nice deep breaths, come on, I've got you". He ran his hand up and down her back slowly. She slowly regained control over her breathing. Normally at this stage after a nightmare she would urge them to leave her alone, convincing them that she was okay. This time however, the tears didn't stop. She cried into Sam's shirt and he held her, just letting her get it out.

"I-I need y-your help". She sniffed and kept her grip on him tight.

"You have my help. And Dean's, and Cas'. We're here for you, okay? You're safe with us. We'll get you your answers, but we need to do it the right way". She nodded into his shoulder. They stayed like that for some time, Sam continuing to whisper comforting words in her ear and stroke her back while she gradually stopped crying. When she pulled back from him he wiped her eyes. "Come back to us. We need you too". She nodded at him. She missed the old version of herself too. She missed enjoying movie nights with Dean, enjoying documentaries with Cas, enjoying research and working out with Sam. She missed going on hunts and working together. It had all felt like a chore ever since she got back. She had been treating everything like an unnecessary distraction from looking for Amara. She missed who she was.

"Hey kiddo". She looked up to see Dean in her doorway, Cas standing behind him.

"Hey". Her voice was quiet. She stood up, Sam supporting her, and she walked over to Dean. She briefly made eye contact with him before leaning into him and burying her face in his chest, arms wrapping around his waist. He hugged her back, one hand pressing onto her back and the other on her head. He kissed the top of her head.

"I've missed you". He murmured into her hair.

"I'm sorry".

"We'll help you, but you've got to work with us".

"I will".

"Good". Dean cleared his throat when she pulled away from him, looking up she could see his eyes were watery. Cas walked around him and he pulled her into a hug of his own.

"I'm sorry I've been distant Cas". She said.

"It's okay, maybe we can watch that new bee documentary tomorrow?" He asked, his eyes full of hope.

"Yeah, that would be nice". She looked from him to Dean, and from Dean to Sam. "I'm really lucky to have all of you".

"We're lucky to have you too". Cas said and he tightened his hug. It was going to be some time before she was back to being her old self again, but she was ready to try. She felt loved, and she decided that was enough for now, the revenge could wait. She knew they wanted Amara gone just as much as she did, and she knew they worked best when they all worked together. It would be a long journey, but tomorrow at least would be better, a step in the right direction.

The end

209 notes · View notes

nexysworld · 1 year

Note

I can't sleep, so sleepy thoughts in coming! So I was like thinking what if Bunny met Ada? Like say if she falls in love with Leon and one day he's away and Ada shows up at the door, (I still think he'd still love Ada a small bit) and Ada is telling her so many times that makes Bunny question her relationship with Leon and he gets back and hears everything

Aww man, you really had to hit me with this one didn't you Anon. lol Since you said Bunny reader, I'm assuming we're talking about Yandere!Leon from my Guardian Angel Fic (if not throw another ask my way and I'll do one for regular Leon.)

🖤 By this point, I'd like to assume Leon's plan had come full circle. His little Bunny loves him, trusts him, doesn't question him, etc. Things have been going good for a while (as good as they can when you're trapped with a delulu psycho lol) 🖤 When Ada shows up, I think at first Bunny would be untrusting, especially since this would be the first person besides Leon she's been around in a long time. 🖤 That being said, Ada would probably talk a lot about Leon, personal things she knows, etc. and it would be enough to convince her that Ada is the real deal. 🖤 After all the trauma she's gone through up until now, I think Bunny would be devastated, heartbroken. She'd finally given in to trusting Leon and their new life together -- and now she was thinking about all the things he did when he wasn't home. Was he really working? Was he meeting Ada? Were there other women too? It would make her feel so lonely now and foolish for having given up the fight to escape. 'Maybe he's really in love with her, but I'm just a pet to keep him busy.' 🖤 When Leon found out, his feelings would be complicated. I like to think that Ada was definitely one of the factors behind his now obsessive behavior - the fear of losing someone, wanting to protect and remain in control. 🖤 That being said, she's always been a part of his history he couldn't let go. He never went after her though because she's not an object to him, but someone who's close to equal ground. But he really can't let his Bunny go. 🖤 Ultimately, I think his need to keep his Bunny would outweigh the feelings he had for Ada, especially since he knows Ada would run off again, but Bunny needed him and was already there. 🖤 His heart would shatter seeing Bunny in tears, untrusting of him all over again because of Ada, and honestly, depending on his state of mind, he might finally decide to remove Ada from his life permanently. For someone like Leon, it's far easier to just ignore bad feelings or guilt instead of dealing with them. Out of sight, out of mind literally for anything that wasn't his obsession - not to mention Ada knew his little secret.

🖤 Regardless of how that situation ends - he'd crank the love-bombing up to max. He'd be reminding Bunny every day how much he loves her, how Ada lied to her out of jealousy. Might even give some actual explanations about his job and history. Gifts and physical affection galore. Lots of intimate sex too. Really anything he can think of to help make sure she understands. 🖤 Due to the unhealthy relationship dynamics, I don't know if Bunny would recover any time soon maybe not at all - especially since she still can't leave the property. Any time he went back to work or had to leave for supplies, she'd be very unhappy. 🖤There'd definitely be a shift in the relationship now that Bunny was extra insecure and jealous. This would manifest in mood swings between not wanting his affection at all to needing it, touching him at all times, begging him not to leave, etc. 🖤 Leon's punishments wouldn't have the same effect anymore either as likely Bunny would be apathetic to those kinds of things, especially if she felt there was no longer a point to trying to earn his affection. 🖤 If Leon couldn't love-bomb her enough to fix things, then he'd definitely resort back to gaslighting or finding a chemical at work to help Bunny forget or be more suggestible.

#nexys #Anon #Ask #Request #Leon Kennedy #Yandere! Leon Kennedy #Yandere!Leon Kennedy #Yandere Leon Kennedy #Guardian Angel Fic #Leon Kennedy x Reader #Headcanon #resident evil

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bbygirl-aemond · 1 year

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Can you explain more what you mean about Rhaenyra's kids never learning from the Driftmark incident?

Oh sure! This ask is in reference to this post discussing the way I think the adults should have handled the Driftmark incident. Let me start with the disclaimer that just because I'm talking about Rhaenyra's kids here doesn't mean I don't take issue with Alicent's, too. But this ask is specifically referencing Rhaenyra's kids, so let's go through the dinner scene chronologically and figure out what they objectively did.

First, we have Jace's "toast" to his uncles. He's trying to retaliate to Aegon's gross comments, but Aemond gets caught in the crossfire. I'm sure it feels great to have your childhood, in which you were bullied and then maimed, referred to as "fond" by one of the people complicit in the things that happened to you. There's a reason Aemond looks upset and breaks eye contact as he goes to sit down; it's because Jace's words had their intended effect. Look at his face here:

Does he look happy, or does he look hurt and angry?

Second, we have Luke laughing at the pig being set in front of Aemond:

Again, this is the kid who should hopefully feel bad about maiming and disabling a family member (remember intent vs impact, he can and should feel sorry while still maintaining he was acting in self-defense). And what does he do instead? He laughs at the memory of bullying him.

Third, we have Jace punching Aemond. This means Rhae's kids are 0 for 2 when it comes to escalating a verbal exchange into a physical fight. I also don't see enough people acknowledge the fact that Jace deliberately punches Aemond's injured side:

In a fight with a man he played a role in disabling, Jace immediately goes for the most vulnerable, injured part of him, weaponizing his disability against him.

Fourth, we have Luke in the background striding up to Aemond as Jace punches his bad side. You can see him in the previous GIF walking up to them both. At this point, again, Aemond has not been physically aggressive in any way, and has been struck in a very vulnerable place, and yet Luke is very clearly intent on joining the fight. So he and his brother are also 0 for 2 when it comes to jumping one person together.

It's also interesting to me that Aemond not only refuses to retaliate, but he refuses to escalate the way the Strong boys are doing here. Remember, he's been struck physically right where they permanently injured him, and yet he doesn't strike Jace back. He pushes him casually to the ground and then turns away, indicating he wants the "fight" to be done. This entire exchange is very one-sided.

Now, I'm not saying these two didn't have a right to be angry after Aemond's toast. But I think it's significant both Jace and Luke antagonized Aemond first, especially given that Aegon was the one who actually made the rude comments. They say they remember his trauma "fondly;" they laugh at him for it; and they weaponize the disability they caused against him. These are not the actions of thoughtful or remorseful kids.

To be perfectly clear, I don't really see this as a moral or personal failing of Luke and Jace. If none of the adults around them treated what happened like it had any significance, why would they? I don't blame children for echoing the beliefs of the adults around them. But I think this shows that Rhaenyra actually negatively impacted her children's moral development by leaning so heavily into the idea that they did nothing wrong and were completely blameless. It left no room for nuance, and no room for the idea that even if your intentions were good, the impact still matters when it's as severe as someone losing an eye.

Like I said at the end of my original post: Both sides here are convinced they're 100% in the right, while hypocritically hating the other side for thinking the exact same thing. But Aemond was forced to reflect on his actions at Driftmark; he lives with the consequences of what he did every single day of his life. Even if Alicent tells him he did nothing wrong, he is forever punished for it, and so we only ever see him retaliate in kind, never escalating or instigating. Rhaenyra's kids don't have that physical reminder, and so in the absence of any accountability they had no way to learn from their past mistakes and continue to repeat them all these years later, where Aemond actually shows signs of having learned restraint, if only begrudgingly.

(Jace and Luke are still my boys tho I can never hate them)

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cuntess-carmilla · 2 years

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My other thing with "some disabled people can't read books" is that... Ok? And?

Due to my disabilities I can't do a lot of athletic stuff, especially shit that puts me at risk of dislocations (despite how fetishized hypermobile people are in gymnastics) or tearing muscles. So... I just won't ever fucking try to become a professional gymnast.

Like so many have said, if you're a professional/serious writer or want to be one, part of your job is reading books, like it or not, in order to nurture your talents and perform the discipline of writing. I can't do that, so, sadly, at least until further notice, I can't be a professional writer, much as I'd love to be.

Just like part of the job when you're a professional gymnast is performing physically in ways my chronically fatigued + pathologically hypermobile body can't do without risking serious injury CONSTANTLY, if I can even attempt each trick at all. So, I just will never try to be a professional gymnast no matter how pretty all those acrobatics look when other people do them, because I objectively can't/shouldn't, by no fault of my own.

My sister can't really dance anymore either despite her massive talent, past discipline and huge charisma, due to how permanently damaged and worsening her knees are. I know she's very heartbroken over it because for her it used to be so big that even once her knees were already fucked she wanted to study dancing in college, but if she does it now it's a sure way to send her to fucking surgery sooner than later AT BEST, so she objectively can't/shouldn't.

Is all of that very harsh and not our fault as disabled people? Yeah. And like I said in my longer response, I feel shame, robbed, sad and frustrated. It's unfair. But it's still reality.

Acknowledging that disability, well... DISABLES YOU, from doing certain things isn't ableist. Pretending otherwise kinda is, though. Feels a lot like The Disabled™ Who Overcomes Disability™ And Doesn't Need Any Extra Support Or Help And Won't Make You Uncomfortable With Their Impairment So Don't Worry About It.

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the-baby-storyteller · 10 months

Text

Cw: minor whumpee, mentioned abuse, fear, slave whump

Whumpee was used to being sold, but it didn’t make the process any easier.

They kept their head down in the back of the car, their wild heartbeat contrasting the tight way they held themself. They thought about who their next owner would be. They wondered if they might be...kind. A wishful thought, they knew. They weren't foolish, they knew they would take anything; they didn’t have a choice. They just hoped….

They just hoped they wouldn’t be as bad as their last owner.

A shudder ran through them. Whumpee didn't...they didn't know if they could deal with someone like that again. If they did they might...might...-

Stop that, they thought with a frown, mentally slapping themself.

They didn’t have the luxury of dwelling on the past. They had to focus on the now, focus all their attentions on making sure their new owner was satisfied with them. That meant looking appealing, pleasant, and not wholly petrified from the scars of their last owner.

So many scars.

They sighed and fought to quell their quivering. They just- they couldn't. They couldn't deal with another-

And then the car jerked to a stop.

Their heart jerked to a stop as well.

Get a hold of yourself, they seethed internally. They couldn't be trembling and whimpering over memories.

Even if those memories could become their reality again.

They plastered a smile on as the seller pulled them out of the car, roughly enough to be domineering but not enough to harm the merchandise. Not before the real buyers could anyway. It doesn't matter, they thought to themself.

This is who they were, this was their life, they thought as they walked to the door of the house. They were an object, an amenity. A thing to be sold and used as others pleased. They didn't get to decide what happened to them, and if someone wanted to hurt them and use them and shatter them until them-

Whumpee choked.

Until they were so terrified they cowered and begged and cried and they still would never stop?

They would take it. It was not their choice to make.

They realized their smile had dropped. They took a deep breath. They smiled. It was shakier then last time. It was best they were going to get.

They opened the door.

Inside was nice. It was a regular looking house. They never got any information about who they were going to beforehand, (obviously not, who would tell a thing like them anything of importance, they only deserved taunts and threats), so they had no idea what to expect. They didn't know how many people they would be serving, if it would be one person, a whole family.

Whumpee didn't need to know or be told. They would adapt to them or be made to adapt.

The only thing they knew was that they needed to keep smiling and looking pleasing, and that's what they did. They weren't new at this.

A man walked over to them. He didn't look especially high-class; he held himself loosely and his clothes looked vaguely old. His face seemed to be stuck in a permanent tired-bored look. He also didn't look especially interested in Whumpee.

That was very okay with them.

They knew never to get their hopes up, though. They dropped their head. No speaking unless spoken to.

"I expect," they heard his strangely laid-back voice from above them, "you to not ask questions and just do as you are told. Understand?"

"Y-Yes, Master," they answered.

"Good. I'm sure you have experience in this anyway. Now follow me."

"Yes, Master." They said briskly, immediately rising and hurrying to catch up with him as he started walking further into the house.

He showed them around the house, the rooms, the closets, all the places they would need to be for their chores. He got a little close sometimes and they cringed from fear of being hit, but it didn't seem like he noticed as he just continued on with the pseudo-tour.

He took them to the dining room where they saw a man (man? He kind of looked more like a boy) sitting at the table, distracted on his phone. He looked up when they arrived. It didn't matter his age, Whumpee thought, Another Master. they instinctively looked down.

"This is my younger cousin." Master said, "He's staying here for a week."

They tried for a smile, albeit a weak one, and bowed. "H-Hello, Master," They ground out.

The man boy master looked at them a little inquisitively, and they froze, frightened, but he just went back to his phone without saying a thing.

They held back a sigh as they moved on. That would not be welcome in front of their new Master.

Master took them to the back of the house and then down a few steps towards a door. He opened it and suddenly a gush a cold air rushed out.

"This is the basement." He said, walking in as Whumpee physically resisted shivering.

"It's where you will be staying." He pointed idly to a bell that seemed to connect outside the room. "Stay here unless we call for you with this bell or if it's time for you to clean or cook something." He looked them up and down, then left the room

"Y-Yes, Master." They rasped, quickly bowing. They stayed in that position, not looking up, until the door closed, and then sighed and sagged down to the floor.

Everything threatened to come out, then. Tears pricked their eyes and they began to tremble as they couldn't hold anything in anymore Memories of writhing on the floor in pain, starved and beaten, came to mind and they paled. They were just so, so scared. They couldn't stop thinking about pain and their past master and what would be done to them and what if they were just like him-

Whumpee grasped their arms, digging their fingernails into them until they were on the brink of bleeding. They took a deep breath. They were fine. It was fine. It was good to be scared. Slaves like them were meant to be scared, they were meant to live in fear. They should be afraid of their masters, of what they could do. It should make them that much more set on serving their masters and doing what they said. What they could not do was let it affect their work.

They were fine. And yet, they trembled.

They steeled themself, stood up, and started to muse as they walked, exploring the small room of the basement. There was no bed or blankets, so Whumpee chose a small corner of the room to be their sleeping area. One lamp barely illuminated the whole room. Despite the cold, hard floors with no rug, the forbidding metal walls that trapped in the cold and didn't allow for any warmth, and the constant sound of wind blowing, they weren't upset. They never expected good conditions, and honestly the place had been pretty good so far. They were surprised none of the masters had done anything to them yet. They'd only ever been with one other person like that before, and even he got violent when drinking.

B-But what if they don't actually want to hurt me and just need me to work?

They shook their head violently, trying to expel the thoughts from it. That's ridiculous, stop dreaming. Just act as you normally do and hope they aren't anything l-like t-the last g-guy.. They grimaced painfully, looking away.

They came to a small clothing closet and pulled on a outfit suitable for cleaning. Their legs were mostly barren, offering them no protection in the frigid room, and they shivered. They had just finished fixing themselves up when the bell rang. They jumped, startled, then composed themself and entered into their servant mode, blank-faced and controlled. They quickly exited the freezing basement and climbed up the steps, trying to simultaneously hurry to get their orders, yet not look rushed or frantic like a novice slave.

They'd done this before.

They could do this.

#whump #conditioned whumpee #whump writing #traumatized whumpee #slave whumpee #basically #its technically not that but it might as well be so #servant whumpee #scared whumpee #minor whumpee #the baby storyteller

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nyhti · 3 months

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I feel like Jervis and Hugo would make each other normal (they would literally make each other so much worse)

I'm literally writing a fic right now about them making each other normal (worse). They would fuel each other's fucked up kinks <3 But honestly, at the same time they would make each other better in some ways as well. I love that cute shit <33

And this is where I could have ended this response, but because I love these two so much and think about them all the time, I wrote all this:

It depends on the writer just how ”aware” Jervis is. Some writers like to write him permanently stuck in Wonderland and in some versions (mostly Pre-Crisis) it's like he's never even been there. I prefer the versions somewhere in between; the ones where he's lucid most of the time, but slips back into Wonderland under stress. And I especially like the versions where, at times, it is unclear whether he is actually in Wonderland or just faking it to get out off a situation (think Gotham Central #19-22).

I'm saying all this, because Jervis' awareness is very key to how I write this relationship. Aside from those moments when he is genuinely in Wonderland and genuinely disconnected from reality, he is very aware and has a very keen eye in my verse. This comes from the whole hypnotist and general Mind Games World Champion thing. I think as a hypnotist Jervis needs to be very good at reading people to know exactly what to say and do to put people under his spell. And given that he is an expert in mind games himself, it is impossible to play mind games with him. In general, I love the contradiction of a character who pretends to not even be here mentally most of the time, being actually incredibly keen eyed, smart and fucking with people's heads. They think he's lost his mind, but they're the ones who are about to lose their minds. He might seem like he doesn't understand what's going on at all, and sometimes that really is the case, but most of the time he knows exactly what's happening – even better than most people.

How this relates to Hugo is that he basically has immunity to Hugo's bullshit. You cannot play mind games with him, because he knows every trick in the book. He was there when mind games were invented. My Jervis is like a human lie detector, if lie detectors actually worked and Hugo, as we know, is a big fat liar. I love it, I love it, I love it. Hugo cannot stop lying, it's so second nature to him that he lies even when he doesn't necessarily need to and every time, every time Jervis catches him on it. This is where it's at for me. Hugo has been Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlbossing his way though life for 52 years and suddenly there's this 150cm tall 48-year-old man who finally tells him to shut the fuck up. I love it. Immovable object, unstoppable force. I love it.

I just love the frustration that it ignites in Hugo when he cannot lie to get what he wants, when someone is forcing him to be genuine for the first time in over 50 years. I think it would remind Hugo of being young. See, he wasn't born a Girlboss, he had to learn how to Gaslight, how to Gatekeep. He was always shitty and was trying to manipulate and control others from a young age, but it was hard. He made mistakes and things didn't always work out and it left him frustrated. And it's all happening again now, his bullshit doesn't work on Jervis and it makes him feel frustrated, angry and finally depressed. But ultimately, it is all for the better.

I think it's evident reading Pre-Crisis Hugo issues, that he wanted people around him and not just as his little minions that he would dispose of when they weren't of use to him anymore. He has those too, of course, but I'm saying he wouldn't have made sure Magda wasn't defenseless if worse came to pass, had he not truly cared for her, he wouldn't have healed Bruce's wounds and ”died” to protect his secret, had he not cared for him. He wanted people around him and he deeply cared for the few people he was close with. All of his relationships are fucked up, because he is fucked up, but it is clear to me that this man both wanted to love others and was capable of loving others.

He wants people around, but I think it's very difficult for him to let anyone that close. Even though in my verse Jervis is the one person next to Batman (and mayyyybe Joker) that he respects, I don't think that he would ever even consider letting Jervis close, letting Jervis see behind the lies. But that's just the thing, Jervis saw thought them anyway. It was like he was forced to let Jervis close, because he couldn't keep him away. And as stated, it makes him frustrated, angry and even depressed, but ultimately, it is for the better. It does him good to be genuine around someone for once. To stop lying for two seconds and just be himself. It does actually make him more normal.

For example, if Hugo was upset over something, his first response would be to lie that he wasn't, as to not seem weak. Think of when Thorne had him kidnapped and beaten by thugs and Hugo was still going on about how: ”Threats mean nothing to Hugo Strange! You mean nothing to Hugo Strange!” Yet, after he had faked his death, he spent so much time and effort on getting his revenge on Thorne – TWICE. This man had to avenge what he suffered in Thorne's hands TWICE. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure the torture did mean something to Hugo Strange. Plus, we have seen countless times the way he responds to his plans not working out: faking his own death. Seriously, the tiniest thing goes wrong and he's out there faking his death again. This man CANNOT handle setbacks.

Imagine now if Jervis caught him on that first lie, when he pretends to not be upset. Imagine he was forced to face the fact that he very much is upset. Imagine he had go through that emotion, instead of running away from it (to his ”grave”). If he actually sat through that emotion, he would find it isn't the end. It wasn't that bad. Life goes on. Jervis could never fix him, but I do think that he could make him more normal.

And what does Jervis get out of all this? Well, he gets to play with Hugo's nice round ass <3

#hugo strange #jervis tetch

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surely-galena · 1 year

Text

Changing the Status Quo of ToT

[WC: 2.1K]

I've been thinking about where Tears of Themis has been heading lately.

ToT is a surprising blend of otome and detective/mystery game, and because of this, it can be difficult to create a balance that satisfies both halves. By focusing too much on the main story, the game risks losing out on sweet moments MC has with the love interests. But on the other side of the coin, by leaning too much into otome, the main story risks being buried or being dragged out longer than necessary.

Am I saying that ToT is failing to hit this balance? Not objectively, because my personal nitpicks with the game could be reasons why someone else might enjoy it.

But I am saying that with the way ToT is created, I cannot help but feel they are building up for something drastic to happen. Something that shifts the way we see the story forever, something so that the characters are never the same again.

Something that changes the status quo permanently.

To be fair, if the developers have planned for this, it's a good strategy. Something absolutely bonkers happening in the main story that upends almost everything would get people talking -- and word of mouth means more people playing the game. Certain examples of massive events like these off the top of my head are Amphibia's season 2 finale and the Hatoful Boyfriend secret route.

There is a certain thing that cannot happen in ToT, of course, and that is killing off one of the four love interests: Luke, Artem, Vyn, or Marius. Although it's not impossible (and would certainly be gutsy), I'd argue that the decision would be too risky.

We all know Luke has massive death flags, but given the nature of an otome game, permanently killing any one of them would risk backlash -- especially from the players who are attached to the now-dead character.

While this decision might work out for the detective/mystery genre, it clashes with the otome aspect. Unless it's a deliberately tragic game or is used in exploration of a greater theme (see: Psychedelica of the Black Butterfly), love interests are basically contractually obligated to not die unless it's a bad ending. And ToT doesn't do bad endings, because that's what the AU cards are for.

Ultimately, Tears of Themis is an otome with detective/mystery elements. This is how I see it, and I'm pretty sure this is also how the game is primarily marketed. So instead of something like Danganronpa which is basically mystery solving with a side of dating sim elements, ToT is otome first, mystery second.

Arguably, there have been some turning points that have indeed changed the status quo we saw in Main Story Episode 1!

MC joins the NXX (Main Story 5)

The lack of a final court case in Main Story 6, and the ensuing hollow victories in Main Stories 7 & 8

But these events feel like they're building up to something. At this point, I don't think we're heading for an ending that waves a hand and tells us everyone lived happily ever after, because that would feel cheap. We can have a happy ending, of course, but it has to feel earned. And in order for a happy ending to be satisfying, the characters have to fight for it, not have it handed to them on a plate.

So that got me thinking. What are examples of events that could cause a drastic shift in the game?

1) One of the main five is a traitor

A lot of the time, revealing a mole/double agent (reluctant conspirator or not) is interesting because it forces us to change our perception of a character. A side character who turns out to be a traitor is fine because we don't care about them. But for someone who is currently part of the NXX -- including MC -- to turn against the group? That's interesting. That's something that will change the group dynamic for a long time. (Exceptions for Neil and Giann because they're a) already suspect and b) it's likely the player doesn't care for them as much as the main cast, because their primary value lies in their connection to the main characters).

Of course, care would have to be taken here if the traitor isn't MC, because you don't want to risk alienating fans of a specific love interest. In this case, the traitor would most likely be redeemed by MC or have second doubts about his choice to betray the NXX. This means all roads lead to redemption, because it probably wouldn't be a good idea to end a well-liked love interest's arc negatively.

In the same way, an important side character turning traitor would be interesting, but not as impactful as the main five. It would be a massive plot twist, of course, but on the whole, it doesn't affect the status quo as much. Unless, of course...

2) One of the important side characters (i.e. someone with a face and is positively linked to one of the main five) turns out to be the big bad

For example: Kiki Bennet is actually behind the whole conspiracy, but hides behind the guise of a cute, internet-savvy attorney-in-training.

If the developers were to go this route, it would have to be done carefully, with some foreshadowing so that the twist doesn't appear out of nowhere. It wouldn't feel earned if details about a side character were simply retconned and tossed aside. Similarly to the first point, this would recontextualize a character, but in a massive enough way that would impact the entire NXX group. Here, I used Kiki as an example because it would be fairly easy to twist her into someone who is at the law firm to keep tabs on MC, and her internet connections could be used as a cover for a hub of secrets and information.

3) The introduction of a fifth, secret love interest

We've talked a little about this in the ToT discord server I'm in (shoutout to @lukepearcing and @roshie-writes here). And yes, the character we've decided is most likely to be the additional love interest is Jerome.

This would, essentially, create a sort of villain route for MC, where she gets her true enemies-to-lovers plotline. While this may not necessarily impact the main story greatly, it would drastically change the otome part of the game -- especially if it comes with UI changes to suit the addition of a new main character.

4) The world of Stellis is not as we know it

The inclusion of Zangr is arguably enough to build on this idea. Of course, Zangr could just be comic relief, or the standard fourth-wall-breaking character. But if Zangr was right all along, and that there is a (fictional) world outside of Stellis, or that there's some kind of multiverse out there, that would change things no matter whether we liked it or not.

(I sort of talk about this idea in referencing the 2022 ToT April Fools' poster.)

Is this a good twist? Honestly, it would be very difficult to pull off. Tropes like "it was all a dream" or "all of it was fake" are extremely hard to execute well. With the main conflict currently linked to the NXX drug, though, I don't see this as something that is likely to happen. I won't rule it out of the picture, but as of now, it's thematically pretty unlikely.

5) Time travel / MC is looping and she doesn't know it

Is this a trope that has been done heaps of times? Yeah.

But it would change the story -- and would allow for love interests to actually die (e.g. if someone uncovers the NXX and assassinates each one of them, resulting in MC looping back to a certain point in time). I don't really have much evidence to support this apart from the prologue, which implies MC has been through some horrible things, and the continual exploration of memory as a theme. (I elaborate a little on the memory theme in my Giann sprite theory.)

For some reason, I always find myself returning to that prologue. Maybe it's metaphorical and has been all along. But I cannot help but feel that in some way, it was meant to foreshadow something that still looms over our main cast.

6) The group dynamic changes in some way

This is perhaps not as impactful as some of the points above, but would still significantly shift things. I've spoken about the potential for an NXX schism in my post about Vyn, responsibility, and trust. The NXX breaking apart, either as individuals or into groups would definitely make for a change in the main story (and would probably not affect the otome aspect as the game will probably let MC be an intermediary and not pick a side).

Alternatively, adding people to the group would also dramatically change things. Some examples of new people could be Darius or Vincent, but the additions also be old members like Neil and (just maybe!) Giann.

The current NXX has been slowly growing together over the last couple of team events. Perhaps something could happen to slow this growth, or something could happen to accelerate it.

7) MC isn't who we think she is

This is very similar to the MC is a traitor point above, but in this particular idea, she doesn't have to be a traitor. This time I'm thinking of something more akin to the twist in Bee & Puppycat season 1, or something connected to her identity or parents. Maybe she isn't just an up-and-coming attorney who believes in hope and justice. Maybe there's something in her memories that she's blocked out and can't remember, or something that she's deliberately hiding from everyone else. If something like this is done, it would completely recontextualize MC, and it would be significant because she's the protagonist. If there's anyone we think we know, it's her.

8) Protagonist switch

That said, is MC/Rosa truly the main character? I mean, she kinda has to be -- she's the girl the main four guys are in love with.

But imagine, even if for a single episode, we play as Ingrid Rosworth, or any other character that isn't part of the main five. If the NXX conspiracy is bigger than we think it is, it could be interesting to step aside for a minute and peek into someone else's perspective. Baldr is kind of a joke at this point, but what if they weren't? This is somewhat connected to the idea of side characters becoming more important, and seeing them influence the plot could impact the direction that the NXX takes. Is this something that will dramatically impact the status quo? Probably not. Is it still an interesting idea? I like to think so :D

When trying to break down ToT, I think it's almost inevitable to separate the slice-of-life romance from the main mystery at hand. It's pretty much a given that most of the card stories and solo/couple events branch off after the first anniversary, and maybe even before that.

What this means is that the romance cards/events cannot actively impact the main story, and the main story cannot select a 'canon' love interest for MC or do something that will impact the romance timeline(s) too heavily. And hence, if we were to encounter a significant twist in the main plot, the romance aspect is unlikely to be affected too much. This is probably why a lot of dramatic events happen in the AU cards, because they sort of test the waters -- and allow the developers to see which ones the audience enjoys and which they don't, because the AUs do not directly influence the story.

Overall, that means that the type of plot twists that are likely to happen are limited. This does not, however, mean that the potential to be interesting is lessened, because there are still a number of ways the main story could go down. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I hope the writers have a good ending in mind. Because there is a lot of potential in the threads that they have given us, and rather than continuing on for years with the general pattern of "culprit of the episode", I want to believe that the main, overarching plot they are promising is going to be satisfying, or at least carefully thought out.

There is so much potential here, and I wouldn't be rambling on this much otherwise. Even if the status quo never shifts drastically, I'd be happy with a good story. Maybe that's all I want from the main plot.

#tears of themis #I hope this lengthy post was entertaining to you! Thanks for reading all of this if you did :D #ToT genuinely has the potential for really good lore -- I mean that's why Sam and Romo have a theory post in the first place #but even if the story doesn't live up to our expectations I suppose there is always canon divergence :)

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npdmonoma · 2 months

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Can "narcissistic abuse" be something we consider outside of people with NPD? I don't believe in PDs at all as someone who's been diagnosed with one, and I'm very anti psychiatry. However mechanisms of what's described as "narcissistic abuse" are real phenomena and I'm wondering if we can address these situations without linking it to a diagnosis or condemning people as permanently and irreparably broken because they're making those choices in one context

Actually read some more posts on your blog and I think I found an answer that satisfies me in this topic ... I think the move forward would be to unlink certain constellations of behavior (gaslighting, DARVO, etc.) From having a PD. Honestly recognizing that someone who abused me was likely struggling with NPD made it easier to find empathy for them but I still had questions in my mind about how to address this specific pattern

I added your second ask here so I can address them both at the same time. Starting with your statement about not believing in personality disorders due to being anti-psychiatry, this is a statement I both do and don't agree with. All mental health diagnoses are created by psychiatrists by observing patterns of behavior that they label as aberrant and give a name to. So in that sense, they're "not real" because NPD isn't some objective observable thing. However, as long as anyone finds value in using that framework to understand themselves and hopefully begin healing, it should continue to exist as a concept. I personally find incredible value in the diagnosis, and have made significant strides toward healing and becoming a better person since I started applying that concept to myself.

That being said, I do believe in psychiatric abolition. What you said about not labeling people as inherently broken is part of my dissatisfaction with the state of mental healthcare. People with personality disorders can heal, even if our disorders never fully leave us. There's also reason to believe that the idea that personality disorders almost never go into full remission is either partially or fully false. Either way, we aren't broken. Or at least, we aren't required to view ourselves as such.

Second, you're absolutely correct that the things that get labeled as "narcissistic abuse" are real phenomena. I have never, and will never, deny that people who call themselves narcissistic abuse survivors have experienced abuse. I honestly believe that they did. However, those phenomena aren't inherently linked to NPD. I have yet to see an example of "narcissistic abuse" that wasn't just a textbook example of (usually emotional) abuse. There is no need to call it narcissistic, you can just call it abuse. That's what it is.

And yes, you're very correct that we need to disconnect patterns of abuse from personality disorders. We shouldn't be linking any mental illness/neurodivergence to abusive behavior. All that does is cause stigma that leads to people being hated for something they can't really control, and something that oftentimes was done to them. I don't deserve to be hated for what my abusers turned me into. No one does.

I'm glad you were able to find understanding and empathy for your abuser, as that seems to have been healing for you. I'm genuinely happy for you. However, the fact that in your case you learned something about your abuser that gave you context for what happened doesn't mean that thing is inherently linked to abuse in general. My father was likely autistic, and I can see how this played into his abuse of me. And yet, I would never say he abused me autistically, because he didn't. He just abused me. There are abusers in every demographic that exists, but that doesn't mean that the entire demographic gets discarded. People who have never abused anyone don't deserve to be called abusers, especially when they're abuse victims themselves.

Thank you for your curiosity and for having an open mind about this. I appreciate you taking the time to think this through, and I'm glad I was able to help in some way. My apologies if I went over something you already figured out for yourself, but I figured it was best to be thorough.

#narcissistic dialoguing #abuse tw #npd safe

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jiliansky-blog · 8 days

Text

Wake me up. Chapter 11. I can change it

Pairing: Morpheus x FemaleReader

Rating: PG

Words: 1550

You shouldn’t feel hurt because of his words. He wasn’t human and didn’t get many things people do or don’t do in their communication. But it sounds like he wanted to get rid of you. That hurts for some reason.

“Is he going to help?” asked Edmund when I flew with him on griffon’s back.

“I hope so”, you replied. “Especially if he sees that I’m in danger”.

“So, he should like you”, he said.

“No, I think not”, you whispered.

“Did you two have a fight?” Edmund asked another question.

“We are already in the castle”, you replied. “We talk about it later”.

Or perhaps not, you thought. You hope that other battles won’t be necessary after that siege. You are going to win. Furthermore, you asked Morpheus to make all the guards sleep. Susan should release Caspian’s teacher. And Caspian, you should go to Lord Miraz. You felt anger and pain when you heard the usurper’s words about conquering Narnia and killing Caspian’s father. And you were surprised to slap him first. Everyone was surprised by your reaction.

“He is disgusting”, you said. “I hate usurpers”.

And you feel like your anger has very personal reasons. Miraz was very surprised when he was captured and his castle was taken away, but nobody noticed your attack.

“What the magic?” he hissed.

“Everyone is sleeping”, you said. “Give up already. That throne is not yours, but Caspians. And you can explain how you killed his father”.

“Who are you? And how do you know?” he asked again but was hit by Caspian.

After that, Caspian took his uncle and aunt to prison and became king of Narnia. Aslan visited them at the coronation.

“You helped them again”, he said. “It’s time for you to go”.

“I know”, you nodded.

“But you shouldn’t come back”, he said. “You have your own path”.

"But..." you tried to object.

“You didn’t find answers here”, he said. “Only the pieces of memory. You know you were almost there”.

“What?” you asked, confused.

“You could stay here for good, but I think your time hasn't come yet”, he said. “You should hurry to finish your quest”.

“Why?” you asked.

“Because something can change”, he said. “And you should think about feeling you have for the god of dreams”.

And then he went away, leaving you even more confused than before. And then Morpheus approached you.

“So, this story comes to an end,” he said.

“It looks like it”, you replied.

“What did he say?” he asked.

“Then I shouldn’t return to Narnia”, you said. “But I’m glad I can accomplish something. I can change something”.

You didn’t tell him about your feelings, of course. You need to think it over. Likewise, you were sure that he wouldn't reciprocate your feelings.

“Is that so?” he asked.

“He said that I could stay here, but my time doesn’t come,” you said. “What did he mean? Do you know?”

“He said that you almost died”, he sighed.

“What?” You looked at him, surprised. And then you understood that he was right. You can stay in Narnia after your death. “So that's what happened to me”.

“It seems you are somewhere between”, Morpheus admitted. “The same rule is working in the Dreaming. You can stay here permanently after you die in your sleep”.

“Oh”, you said and sighed.

“So story will be next?” he asked.

“I think we need continue our way in Fellowship”, you replied. “I missed that world already. Are you with me?”

“What do you think?” he smirked.

Morpheus

So she didn’t realize yet that she was probably in a coma in her world. And that explains why she is still here and doesn't wake up. But still, she refuses to give up.

“And what do you want to do in this part of journey?” I asked.

“I want to save one elf, meet one girl and join the battle”, she replied.

“Why do you need to participate in all the battles?” I said.

“Because…” she began and then frowned. “I feel the need to fight. But I don’t remember why”.

“Perhaps, you wanted to fight in your life”, I admitted.

“Perhaps”, she shrugged. “Are you ready?”

“When you are”, I replied.

She opened the portal with ease. If I used the sand to move between realms, she just opened doors. It makes me think that she has great potential.

We appeared near Rohan. And she went to town. I followed her. And the king, the elf, and the dwarf were already there.

“Y\N”, the elf came to her. “We thought we lost you”.

“We just needed to do something else”, she smiled. “I’m glad to know that you already got here. Is everything okay?”

“Yes”, he nodded.

While I was watching how they exchanged smiles, I felt irritation. Why did I feel like that? Maybe, because she shouldn’t stay with her dreams.

“Welcome”, a blonde beautiful girl met us. “My name is Eowyn. Aragorn said, You are very brave”.

“I don’t think so”, Y\N said. “Morpheus saved me all the time. But I want to help you in any way I can”.

“This is so kind of you”, she said, looking at me quickly. “Is he your husband?”

“No”, Y\N blushed. “He is my friend”.

“Oh”, Eowyn blushed too. “I will send you some food”.

And she hurried away. Perhaps she felt guilty for asking such personal questions.

“A friend?” I whispered.

“What should I say?” she replied. “That you are a god?”

“You can confirm that we are betrothed”, I admitted.

“I didn’t think you approve it”, she said.

But I was annoyed again that she didn’t confirm that we were together in more romantic way. It was irritating thought and absolutely illogical.

You had a little rest in Rohan, and then you should move to Helm Deep. You were thrilled that you were going into the battle.

“Is there any chance that you change your mind about battle?” Morpheus asked. “Should I save your life every time?”

“Don’t tell me that you don’t like to be a hero”, you said, smiling.

“This game has been going on for too long”, he sighed. “And I began to think that you don’t want to leave this world”.

“Do you mean your realm or Middle Earth?” you asked.

“Both”, he said.

“Well, perhaps you are right”, you shrugged. “And I already told you that I’m not ready to leave your world”.

“You will never be ready if you are going to avoid your fears”, he said and made me angry again. Why does he need tell these things all the time?

“How many times are you going to tell me this?” you asked, annoyed. “I don’t know what my fears are, and that’s the problem”.

“And how many times are you going to make…” he was going to say something but stopped and blushed. “Never mind”.

“What?” you asked.

“Nothing”, Morpheus pouted again.

“I don’t have many stories left”, you sighed. “So relax. Soon you will get rid of me and my adventures”.

“That’s not what I mean”, he said.

“So what do you mean?” you looked at him.

“I don’t want to get rid of you”, Morpheus replied.

And I felt that my heart had flipped for some reason. No, I shouldn’t fall for him. He can be as unreal as the rest of them if he tells me the truth.

“Oh”, you said.

“And you tried to find romance here”, he finished.

And you blushed. It sounds like jealousy. But it wasn’t, right? He doesn’t have feelings for me. Am I just a temporary problem for him?

“It’s a dream”, you said. “What else should I do here?”

“Find the solution”, he said. “But… I need to apologize. My family said. I’m bad at communication”.

“That’s alright”, you sighed. “What else did they tell you?”

“That I am too much, and no one will stay with me”, he said emotionlessly. But you felt pain behind this calmness.

“You know that doesn’t write in stone”, you said. “I don’t think that you are too much. You are different, but you are not human”.

“My brothers and sisters understand humanity better than me”, he said. “Their nature doesn’t depend on that. Or rather, it doesn’t depend on their nature”.

“So what?” you asked.

“That’s me who is wrong and defected”, and again, this pain in his eyes made your heart break at the thought.

“Don’t think that”, you said, touching his hand and he looked at you. “You are hurt, not broken. There is a difference”.

“What difference?” he asked.

“I read once: I thought that I was broken and needed fixing. But in fact, I was hurt and needed healing. Entire different concept. You are not wrong. You are just hurt”.

“And how are you supposed to know about me?” he pouted.

“Perhaps I don’t know you well”, you replied. “But I can see you now. You are very responsible and serious. And it’s not a defect”.

Now you can see hope in his eyes and almost the stars. And you thought that you have a connection, but then Legolas interrupted you.

“We need to go to Helm’s Deep,” he said. “Are you going with us?”

“Yes, of course”, you said.

So you are going to the next battle. And your conversation with Morpheus should wait.

@shadowqueen1318 @mypsychoticlove @justathirstyhoe @ladymoztaza @sapphireonline @deniixlovezelda

#morpheus x reader #sandman x reader #dream x reader #sandman fanfiction #the sandman

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