#especially compared to their friends most times
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Fight For Me (II)
Part one
Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader (GN)
word count: 3,803
Summary: When industries collide, Kuroo is reunited with the one that got away. But nobody is pleased to see each other.
“Oh Y/N!” Alisa Haiba screeched, bringing her old friend into a hug. “I’m so glad you took the role! Ah I can finally have a friend amongst my team.”
With a laugh, Y/N only rubbed their friend’s back lightly, not to crease her outfit that will soon be shot in the new YSL photoshoot. It had been back in Melbourne did Y/N L/N and Alisa Haiba became acquaintances. At first it took Y/N a while to realise how they recognised Alisa, thinking it was just because they saw her face plastered on every major billboard on their way to campus. But the illusive fantasy of a celebrity was shattered when she spoke in her accented English and their high school memories came flashing before their eyes. From that day forward, their worlds collided.
After a gruelling last ditch push to complete their masters, Y/N was lucky to have Alisa as one of their few friends in Tokyo. Since coming back to Japan, Y/N had forgotten how lonely the city could be. How they would blend into the crowd of faces, becoming another statistic on a long list of residents. They hated the city, they hated how the streets they used to walk down during high school remain untouched, how the faces of the shop owners only grow older, their frowns sagging to the floor. Getting out of Japan felt liberating, to come back to it all Y/N found themselves wallowing in the same self-pity that they found themselves suffering with during their teen years. Alisa was a reminder of the world outside of the city, she allowed Y/N to follow her on trips and try new exciting things to brighten their full life. When Alisa became the face of YSL Japan and her modelling career expanded beyond Asia, Y/N was thrilled to join their friend at the request to be her assistant public relations secretary.
If I could get Alisa to be the most known face across the globe, I can finally start my life again, out of Tokyo.
The desire to finally leave Japan behind, leave their past behind and explore the world beyond. Maybe, that could get rid of the sour taste in Y/N’s mouth every time they thought of Tokyo.
Despite their extensive years in academia, books could not compare to reality. Piles and piles of paperwork, emails and meetings meant Y/N lived and breathed the Haiba siblings. Being a part of Alisa’s PR team meant being a part of Lev’s, it was a given to see the fellow Nekoma alumni at work. At first, Y/N was resentful. Nekoma was supposed to be long past her, just a floating memory of guilt and regret. Lev was advised by his sister to not pester Y/N about high school, about anything related to Nekoma especially anything about Kuroo. The first few months with the Haiba siblings were stressful. Lev was growing increasingly popular amongst younger fans, booking him on daytime television to speak about his latest projects was a breeze. More fans meant more fan meets and thus more work for Y/N.
More work means bigger reach, and getting even closer to leaving.
With winter around the corner, Y/N knew there would be an exponential growth in events that would need to be covered. Press conferences, online campaigns, brand collaborations. Whenever Y/N closed their eyes, all they could see was the Haiba siblings plastered on the inside of their eyelids. Amidst the pile of work, Y/N noticed a oddly hand written note;
‘Please please pleaseeee consider this one! I wanna work with Kenma and Chibi-chan T^T’
Lifting up the sticky note, the title page screamed out to Y/N.
“Bouncing Ball Corp ft. Hinata Shoyo and Lev Haiba.”
“Helloo~”
“Where’d you get this plan from? Who gave it to you? Is this some kind of joke? You’re a high end luxury brand model with limited television guest appearances, what makes you think I’d let you represent sports now?” Y/N’s voice boomed into the phone, causing Lev’s eardrums to burst and bleed from the noise shattering scolding on the other end of the call.
“Kenma gave it me! He said his team told him it would be good to reach out to other famous people who knew!” He whined.
It was partially the prospect of being with Kenma and Hinata again, but more so, he craved the feeling of slamming a volleyball with his bare hands again. After years of maintaining his pristine image, his calloused hands had smoothened out, as soft as a baby’s bum. He was yearning for the thrill of the game again.
“No. This proposal makes no sense anyways. Who even wrote this?”
“Well it was someone on Kenma’s side! Anyways, he’s got a hugeee following on Youtube and Twitch! All people talk about on Twitter is his stuff! Y/N you’ve always wanted a big international gig, and I’ve found us one! Please, please, please, pleaseeee!” If Lev wasn’t in public he would’ve been on his knees begging, kissing Y/N’s feet till they said yes.
Indeed, all Y/N needed now was a major international break for the siblings, if they could book either a global brand ambassador position or an American modelling debut, then Y/N could finally relocate to anywhere but Japan. The Tokyo smog blocked their lungs each daily commute to work, the buildings never changed and the familiar scents of old stores and parks they used to frequent as a student became sickening.
“Give me Kodzuken’s contacts and we’ll see.”
It was a wild goose chase to get the right person to contact. Email, after email. More and more useless contacts that lead Y/N to no helpful responses. Different representatives of Kodzuken and Hinata Shoyo till finally the Japanese Volleyball Association. After two weeks of this ordeal, Y/N was finally sent through to the person in charge of organising the project. But of all people, it just so happened to be Kuroo Tetsurou. Shit.
Despite getting to chase around his old volleyball rivals across the world for scouting, interviews and just regular catch ups. Kuroo hated the mundane parts of his job, emails and project meetings. Managers up his arse about deadlines. His fingers were beginning to cramp into a contorted version of itself with all the typing he had to endure. He swore his email page was burned into the scleras of his eyes.
Ping.
Another one to the read later pile. It was fifteen minutes till the end of his shift, he wasn’t going to stay for overtime this week, he had made plans with Kenma tonight. After weeks of rejection, the self-made entrepreneur finally was willing to leave his room to grab a drink with his long time friend. Before he could shut off his monitor, he read the Sender’s name.
L/N Y/N.
Holy fuck.
He thought he had buried the last sparks of affection he had for Y/N the morning they blocked them. But no, like a phoenix, the embers within him burst into an inferno. Nothing could quench the burning desire he held inside. Kuroo had forgotten where he was, he was no longer stuck in a mechanical cubicle with the robotic tapping of keyboards echoing throughout the room. He was back in his Nekoma uniform, back with Y/N by his side. He could smell them, touch them and most of all kiss them. Their laugh was ringing in his head, he was high on their perfume. Kuroo begs to any mighty power above him or anyone who could hear his heart, for his yearning to cease. He thought he could leave it all behind but his body, no his soul calls for Y/N.
A few clicks was all it took and he plummeted to the pitiful man he once was without Y/N. His eyes darted at the few sentences, he could hear Y/N’s echoing in his head reading to him.
I hope this email finds you well…Lev Haiba…with Bouncing Ball Corp…please contact me…best regards L/N Y/N.
By some wicked power that festered inside him, Kuroo saw this as a sign from the universe. Finally letting Y/N back into his life. He could once again feel true happiness, the love that had left his heart with a gaping void for the last few years.
Within a few weeks, each team was able to schedule the first table reading for the promotional video. The main plan to have it filmed over a course of two weeks, just in time before the Olympics in Tokyo. Time was of the essence and the only reason why Y/N was pushing themselves to succeed in this collar was the promise of a better life for themselves. The table reading was in a spacious meeting room curtesy of the Japanese Volleyball Association, the room stretched far beyond any hall Y/N had seen before. A titanic monitor casts its shadow over the table, a long aisle of varied refreshments framed the corners of the room. The chairs were individually cushioned, the carpet was soft with the richest woven fibres from the farthest corners of the world.
Y/N had arrived with Lev and multiple representatives from his team, Kuroo was stood under the frame of the entrance door, his jaw ajar. To Kuroo Tetsurou the mere sight of Y/N took his breath away, all he wished to do was run as fast as his legs could take him and embrace them with the strength of a thousand suns. Claiming them to be his all over again. He didn’t notice that Y/N’s face was getting closer and closer towards him, till they were stood shoulder to shoulder, face to face.
“Mr. Kuroo, a pleasure to be working with you.” Y/N held out their rigid hand.
“…Y/N,” he whispered, as if saying their name aloud was punishable by death.
“My name is L/N. I expect you to refer to me as such. We will see you inside.” Five seconds. Their reunion lasted five seconds, Kuroo couldn’t help but watch Y/N’s figure walk away, the closest he’s ever been to them, and all he can have in return is the sight of their back.
“My god, they’re as beautiful as the day I lost them.” Kuroo uttered.
The meeting went as smoothly as planned. Any issues were discussed thoroughly and everyone was confident in the project. But Kuroo paid no attention to any of it. His eyes could not keep off of Y/N. The way they’d speak so eloquently, unlike how childish they were in high school. He admired Y/N’s new found maturity, this chic version of his love, he was still entranced by their allure years after their split. However, his eyes would dart to the presence of Lev Haiba next to Y/N. A deeply rooted feeling of jealousy to the boy he once considered his underling. The Haiba siblings could see and be around Y/N every waking hour, yet the only time he had with them within his reach, lasted only five seconds. It wasn’t fair. He had assumed that Y/N had no more ties to Nekoma, so the thought of Y/N never cross his mind, till now. Seeing them beside Lev Haiba, sparked a new fire within his chest. Distant memories would flash in Kuroo's mind, younger versions of themselves, a first year Lev begging to meet and be around Y/N, his partner of three years. Jokes that he would push aside, confirming how Y/N was separate to volleyball and he had no intentions of merging these two sides of him. Yet there they were, in union with each other. Y/N and volleyball. He felt sick.
“I understand that the sport is the focus of this project, but we mustn’t ignore the everyday audience who aren’t fans of the sport.” Y/N spoke with a tinge of spite, they never mentioned the sport by name. In case the moment they uttered its name, they would be shackled down to its legacy for all of eternity.
“Lev is the public’s rising heartthrob, for both his looks and his humour, use it.”
“Aw! Thank you Y/N!” The half-russian man tried to coddle Y/N only to be pushed back into his seat by them.
Kuroo Tetsurou was torn. He wished to be the one to coddle Y/N. He hated how formal this all was, never had he thought of Y/N as this pragmatic android that spouted the same endless bullshit his co-workers would repeat. He wanted to see them laugh again, he wanted to bring them crying on their knees from tears of laughter. Maybe if he did that stupid impression of their father that always made them laugh, maybe then Y/N would go back to how they were in school.
The meeting came to a close and the rounds of production was set in stone. Kuroo’s work continued to pile, he couldn’t stay on set with the boys anymore than a day and any moment he did have on set, Y/N was never there. Filming ceased and everyone returned to their original teams, muttering away on their desktops and laptops to meet the deadline their bosses’ had set. Lev Haiba went back to modelling for big brands, Kenma increased the number of live-streams in the weeks forward after having a week off for filming. Whilst Hinata was preparing the announcement of him joining the Japanese National team.
Kuroo was stuck in his monotone cubicle again. The sight of his friends succeed in things beyond the mundane 9 to 5, that he was a slave to, was not an idea that came to mind at first. Originally, he loved the thrill of working behind sports promotion. But now, as a settled employee, he felt his life drain by the second. Only the thought of Y/N pushed him, once the project is uploaded and succeeds, he could see them at the celebratory party. If everything goes to plan. Then he could finally speak to them. Apologise. Tie everything up in a pretty bow so he could feel, complete.
The promotional video saw millions of views and trending hashtags across multiple social medias. They had, of course, prepared for this case. Releasing behind the scenes content, exclusive photographs and interacting with online fans.
It was as Y/N had planned, down to the T. It was like a weight was lifted off their shoulders, they knew within a few days the money would come rolling in through sponsors and new deals for their company. The Japanese Volleyball Association along with Bouncing Ball Corp allowed the teams to work in a private office space for the collaboration to increase cross communication. Y/N had spent night after night working endlessly on multiple PR plans that would cover all of Lev’s possible mishaps. The moment everything succeeded, they crashed. Their face plummeted to the keyboard and drifted into a deep slumber.
Y/N was at the entrance of Nekoma High, their uniform was slightly creased because they forgot to iron their shirt the night before. First day of high school and they already felt nauseous. They hated how their uniform sat on their frame, they hated how they had they ended up in a school where most of their old middle school classmates joined them. They felt stuck in an endless cycle of the same boring, mundane life they always lived.
“Ya gonna go in?”
The light spring breeze blew the tall boy’s black hair to fly upwards, revealing his other eye. He quickly flattened it to hide his forehead. He looked ridiculous, his jumper was slightly too big for him, his parents probably went a few sizes up awaiting for his eventual growth spurt.
“L/N c’mon, let me copy your English homework! Just this once!” Kuroo pleaded, training behind Y/N like a cub to its mother.
“Kuroo this is the fourth time! Remember last time, the teacher called your mom in for a meeting about you cheating!”
The boy had grown to tower over Y/N now, he was freakishly taller than the day they first met. His long limbs made him be twice as fast as well. “I’d much rather get told off for copying than get told off for bringing nothing at all.”
With a huff, Y/N couldn’t help but chuckle. Their dynamic was a breath of fresh air for Y/N, who previously was so used to an isolated world. But by Kuroo’s side, Y/N felt like they belonged. Somewhere within Kuroo’s circle, Y/N had a place fit just for them.
Kuroo would always tell people that he asked Y/N out first, that he prepared a romantic dinner at his place and popped the question as if it was their last night on earth. In truth, Y/N caught him amidst his plans and cut him to the chase. But Kuroo Tetsurou, the ever-so secret romantic, wanted everyone to believe that he swept them off their feet.
“If we’re going to be together we’ve got to do good morning and good night texts,” he huffed whilst Y/N’s arms cradled him into a tight embrace. They laughed in response for his childish acts, as a way to get back on ruining his plans on asking them out, Kuroo insisted on being as romantic as he could be with them. Holding hands, spooning, kisses in public. He didn’t care for the stares, he didn’t care for the whispers. He was happy. Y/N was happy.
“Y/N,” Kuroo’s face was so close yet each time Y/N reached out their hand, it faded into nothingness.
“Y/N! Y/N!” He kept calling their name yet Y/N couldn’t reach him.
“Tetsu?”
A sudden jolt caused Y/N to shoot back up, their shoulders were covered with a distinct black jacket. Beside them was of course, the man who emerged straight from their dreams. Kuroo Tetsurou.
“Sorry but, they’re shutting the building soon. You shouldn’t sleep here, it’ll hurt your back. I know that very well,” he chuckled beneath his breath.
Y/N hadn’t realised this before, but Kuroo’s eye bags had sunken deeper into his face. He had more noticeable crows feet and the wrinkles between his eyebrows had settled in already, quite concerning for a man still as young as him. He had changed his cologne again. He went back to the faint powdery scent, with hints of elderflower. The cologne Y/N bought him for their second anniversary. They didn’t know they still made that scent. His hands were still as calloused as they were years ago, bulging veins decorated his wrists and forearms. He maintained his built form, Y/N could see it through his button up shirt. He hadn’t changed much but was still an entirely different person.
“I was just tired Kuroo.” Y/N shimmied out of the man’s coat to return it, but Kuroo remained still.
“It’s weird to hear you call me that.” He chuckled, “I was always Tetsu to you.”
“Yeah well that was when we were kids.”
Kuroo smiled, a sad empty smile that held the years of regret that he harboured. Kids in love, he thought.
“I’m going home now, thanks for waking me.” Before Y/N could step out of the office door, Kuroo grabbed their wrist. He knew this was the last time he would ever see them, he sensed it. The moment they walk out that door it’ll be over. He had to fight, it was now or never.
“I’m sorry Y/N. I’m sorry for how I treated you all those years ago. I’m sorry I didn’t pay attention to you. I’m sorry I was never there for you.”
Disgusted. Pained. Relieved. Scared. Y/N’s stomach felt like a pit of snakes colliding into each other, trying to consume one another but failing miserably. Kuroo Tetsurou was a shell of a man now, the pain of heartbreak that lasted an eternity was killing his body slowly. He hadn’t mourned Y/N properly. He hadn’t mourned their relationship properly.
“Why?”
“Huh- What?” Kuroo asked, dropping his grip on Y/N.
“After all these years. Why are you apologising to me now.” You could hear a pin drop from the deafening silence between the two.
“Because I love you. I’ve always loved you Y/N, I won’t ever stop loving yo-“
“Shut up.” This was straight out of teenage Y/N’s dreams, the Kuroo Tetsurou who was begging them to stay. The Kuroo Tetsurou that they used to cling to in hopes of a final embrace. He was finally right in front of Y/N. With glassy eyes, proclaiming his undying love to them, his body craving Y/N’s own. He was right there, and he was pathetic.
“You don’t get to talk to me like that. If you did love me, you would’ve done this the night we ended it. But no, you barely said anything to me. In fact what you did, hurt me more than our actual split. You left me. You left me alone. Not just in our time together. I was never included in any part of your life beyond me. Despite being together for three years, I was completely, utterly alone." Warm tears that Y/N had suppressed for years began to arise from the dead.
“I thought you wanted me by your side, that you needed me because I had a place in your life. But you proved me wrong time and time again! I came second to everything in your life! Not once did I feel like a person to you. You took me for granted.”
It was like a slap in the face for Kuroo Tetsurou, he hadn’t realised it till now. In his eyes, Y/N was someone he once wanted to possess, to have and hold forever. He saw them just like his old pair of glasses he lost down the coach pillows. It took a few blinks to realise in front of him, was a person who had seen love and loss, found liberation and had it taken away. A person who had worked their life away to see the riches of their hard work. When they were in Nekoma, Y/N would always cheer him on from the sidelines, he thought it was fine. He thought they were okay with just watching them afar, he knew they didn’t really like volleyball but he didn’t care to talk about it anymore. He didn’t care. He didn’t care for having Y/N meet his teammates and hang around them, he wanted to keep them to himself. He didn’t care. His indifference was his demise. After over five years, he realised this.
“I have lived a thousand lifetimes since I left you. I think it’s time for you to do the same Tetsurou. Stop clinging to the past.”
Kuroo Tetsurou, the man who yearned the joys of his youth, could see clearly now. Y/N didn’t look back at the man. They picked up their bag and stepped out the door. Phone in hand, ready to dial up their friends, to celebrate a life well lived.
#kuroo tetsurou#kuroo x reader#kuroo tetsuro x reader#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu angst#hq x reader#kuroo tetsurō#kuroo tetsuro fanfic#kuroo tetsuro angst#anime#anime and manga#anime fanfic#anime x reader
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I need to feed my Yuuta brairot so can I request a yandere concept for Okkotsu with Childhood Friend! Darling?
At the time of writing this (5/30/24), I have finally seen Volume 0 on Crunchyroll so I can finally do this request! Hope you like it! Warning, this is a bit long and is mostly me rambling. I was a bit too excited to write his character, lol.
Yandere! Yuta Okkotsu with Childhood Friend! Darling
(Volume 0)
Pairing: Platonic/Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Manipulation, Mentions of depression/suicidal thoughts (Due to canon), Dark themes, Violence, Blood, Death, Trauma, Slight stalking, Dubious companionship/relationship.
The idea of this is actually a bit cute although unnerving.
Yuta's childhood friend in canon was Rika.
So I can take this request in two directions.
You replace Rika and end up being his Cursed Spirit companion.
You're different from Rika and have been one of the few other people Yuta is close to.
Both versions of the concept are intriguing but I think I'll stick to the second variation for the sake of simplicity. (I definitely want to explore the first version at some point)
Yuta was always a timid boy in childhood, often isolating himself due to Rika.
He was shown to be sick when young, maybe you met him and Rika in childhood?
When you were young you three were a trio, which would certainly keep Rika from killing you.
Rika, for the most part, reacts to Yuta's emotions.
As you grow up, Rika leaves you be due to how Yuta feels.
She's jealous at first, yet sees that Yuta would hate her if she hurt you.
Which leads to, guess what, you having them both to deal with until she passes on years later.
Yuta originally wants to isolate himself and not cause any trouble for you.
There's times he's wanted to end it all due to the amount of times he's been bullied.
However, he has you.
You try to help, even when Yuta is adamant on you not helping.
Especially since Rika proceeds to kill every single one of his bullies.
You're the only one he feels he can speak with.
But... he can tell you're scared of his Curse.
Yuta... is worried you'll hate him... which ends up driving him away from you at times.
It's worse if you can't see Curses, as you can't see the cause.
However, if you can?
Perhaps you're able to see Curses and are able to see Rika.
Well, even then, you're scared of what follows Yuta.
Even if Rika won't hurt you for Yuta.
You always knew Yuta as a timid kid and pitied him a bit.
Even in High School you tried to be close to him, hoping to still be supportive.
Unfortunately, Yuta may not see you again until after the events with Geto if you aren't a Sorcerer.
You aren't from a Sorcerer house, so you aren't quite sure what to think of Curses even if you can see them.
You're actually quite worried when Yuta goes MIA.
You two are in two different worlds now.
You're a non-sorcerer and Yuta is a Special Grade Jujutsu Sorcerer.
You probably don't expect to see him again after he changes schools.
So it surprises you when Yuta does eventually show back up in your life.
Due to you being a non-sorcerer, Yuta may feel an overwhelming urge to protect you.
After all... the Night Parade of a Hundred Demons attack gets to him.
He knows of Geto's hate for "Monkeys" and realizes how... weak you are compared to a man like him.
Rika has moved on now, yet Yuta is still as strong as ever.
When Yuta sees you again, his chest tightens.
You're so oblivious to all he's gone through... and he's changed so much.
When you see him again, you go to ask if it's him.
Leading to Yuta enveloping you in a tight hug.
Oh how he's missed you.
You notice Yuta is extremely friendly and sociable compared to his usual timid self.
You want to ask so many questions, yet Yuta's just so excited.
He knows he has to study abroad soon, but he wanted to see you again so bad.
He's seen so much although he's unsure how to explain it.
Yuta has learned to cherish the friends he has.
Plus he definitely has anxiety about you since Geto's Curse Users are still around.
He keeps thinking about how strong he is...
You just keep smiling and talking to him, rambling to him as you have no clue what has happened.
Yuta thinks he can work with that.
Maybe it's for the best you don't know about the Sorcerer world?
Yuta may not tell you what happened if you don't know of Curses.
He's just been busy and has gotten help for his more timid nature.
You may not understand... but why does that matter?
Best you just focus on catching up, yeah?
Yuta has a higher chance of being a platonic yandere in this case, but he could also swing romantic.
His first concern when seeing you is making up for lost time.
He's been away from any source of normalcy for a long time now.
When seeing you he just wants to keep close.
Yuta's more protective than he was when he was younger with you.
You're surprised but he doesn't fully explain it until later.
He's just... missed you and has gone through a lot.
That's how the obsession begins, when he's older with you and seen the horrors of the world.
He's no longer that timid boy.
He's a man who can kill to protect those he loves.
Yet to you, he's still Yuta.
You notice he's more controlled now and things don't die around him anymore.
Although you have no clue where's he's been.
Yuta is an intense yandere due to how much he cares for people.
His obsession is most likely derived from the trauma he's gone through.
He's seen his fellow Sorcerers slaughtered and injured.
You aren't even a Sorcerer.
You're his childhood friend... one he sees as naive.
So wherever you go, Yuta is tempted to follow.
You just think he's being clingy.
If only you knew.
Yuta would kill for you if a Curse User targeted you.
You're oblivious to Curses and Curse Users hunting you down, before you even know about it, Yuta's slaughtered/exorcised them.
Yuta's used to blood on his clothes.
He always makes sure you're out of sight and out of range before he deals with any threat.
Yuta gains the mindset of wanting to protect you in this world even more now that he's a Sorcerer.
He's so sorry he pushed you away when he was younger.
Now he can protect you! (Similar to how Rika did with him)
Yuta is friendly but can be ruthless when you're in danger.
He feels no one else can protect you like he can.
As your childhood friend... he'll take that role.
You can't part from Yuta once he decides to stick by you.
It takes him a long time to go for his abroad studies.
He can't fathom the thought of leaving you alone now.
You find such behavior weird, granted, Yuta has been clingy in the past...
Not this much, though.
Honestly, even if Yuta explained the dangers of being a Jujutsu Sorcerer to you, you'd be hesitant until you saw it yourself.
He may even tell you eventually as much as he hates it so you know to stay close.
Yuta is already a protector at heart, it's in his blood (Quite literally, he's related to Gojo distantly)
So it's obvious he'll sacrifice everything to keep you safe.
Rika's gone now, he knows that.
You aren't.
For the sake of Rika and his own well-being, he needs you safe.
It's too easy to die in this world.
Hopefully you trust him... right?
The blood on his clothes is necessary.
Unfortunately it's also a common sight.
There's no use being stubborn with him, either.
Yuta's going to be stern with you, after all, he's seen what this world is really like.
Yuta loves you, as to what extent is up to you.
He follows you everywhere until he's dragged off to study abroad.
Even if he is, I can see him asking someone to watch over you until he can return.
Like Gojo or one of his friends for example.
He'd rather die than lose you to a Curse User or Curse when he's gone.
So prepare for Yuta never leaving your side once he comes back from his studies...
You and Rika have protected him enough... it's time he returned the favor.
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My thoughts on The Book Of Carol Episode 1
-Spoiler-free edition-
I know that some information about what was discussed during the panel has already been posted online, but I personally will try my best to refrain from posting about it since that was what was requested before the episode showing, and the panel.
Setting the tone for the rest of season 2
Firstly, Episode 1 immediately starts the season with huge emotional implications, primarily focusing on Carol and her current mindset. I truly believe that if they keep at this pace, we will have Daryl and Carol on an even field within the spinoff by the end of season 2.
Over the seasons of the main show, we got the chance to see so many layers of Carol, but since the screen time on that show had to be shared with so many other characters, we never got to go as far into Carol's mindset as we wanted to. But after watching this episode, I now know beyond a doubt that Melissa has the talent and Carol has the depth to be a brilliant leading character. She can fill an entire episode with her storyline, and there would not be a dull moment; on the contrary, during the showing, I constantly had chills because of the absolute power of Melissa's performance.
Storyline split ratio
As Norman has already said, The Book Of Carol will not be an exact 50/50 split between Daryl and Carol. There will naturally be slightly more of a focus on Carol, which I found was already so evident in Episode 1. The heavier focus on Carol was done beautifully, and like I said earlier Melissa fulfilled the role of a leading character so perfectly that I couldn't help but be a little disappointed whenever I saw that a scene had changed away from her.
Carol's mindset
Carol's mindset and emotional state had me in a chokehold this episode; I don't think there was a single scene between Carol & Ash that didn't bring me to tears or leave me with chills. As Melissa mentioned in her behind-the-scenes interview for Daryl Dixon episode 6, Carol's journey is about her mindset and how she needs to know that her friend is okay.
This theme is already heavily touched on in episode one and delivered in a way that brought me to tears repeatedly. They utilised a few vital flashbacks and some moments where we find Carol alone, going through some powerful emotional moments that opened old wounds and addressed certain things that were never fully resolved on the main show.
One of the most heartbreaking moments we see of Carol alone revolves around a song that Carol sings along with (to herself); even though the song itself has very simple lyrics, I immediately thought that it fully explains why Carol is prepared to do anything to get Daryl back.
Even before watching the episode, we knew that Carol would do anything for the ones she loves, but this current situation with Daryl truly asks more from her than anything she has ever done before. Still, there is no hesitation within her about how many lines she is willing to cross to find him again.
In all this Carol also showed some immense growth, especially in how she handled guilt and loss compared to her actions and mindset in season 10.
Daryl's change
This is mentioned in the new season's synopsis, so I no longer classify it as a spoiler. The synopsis stated that "Daryl struggles with his decision to stay in France" which appeared to be very true to me in episode 1.
I saw a colder, more aggressive, and mentally exhausted side to Daryl, which is evident in how he handles all his conversations with people from the Nest and how there seems to always be an slight undertone of resentment in his words that he is trying to hide.
Additionally, while watching season 1 of Daryl Dixon, I noticed that the longer Daryl is away from Carol, the more he regresses into his trauma. It's like all progress is being lost, and he's slowly turning back to his old ways, not standing up for himself and hiding in Merl's shadow.
Additional quick takeaways:
Ash is an angel and must be protected
Genet looked scary and really creeped me out at one point, which was really thrilling and showed the possibility of a really interesting villain for the season 2 arc
It appears that (according to Norman) we'll be getting more screen time with some of the other characters, like Sylvie and Losang
Some of the nest members' scenes evoked a sense of impending doom and eerieness, which suggests that there may be more to the Nest than meets the eye, with perhaps something sinister hiding within it.
This episode had gorgeous cinematography, which I personally liked more than season 1's, and I found that it felt richer too.
Episode 1 of TBOC is now, by far, my favourite episode from any of the spinoffs. It shows that when a show about Daryl and Carol is true to its characters, it becomes a natural success and a beautiful piece of the story.
Melissa's voice and influence are clear in how Carol's story is told in this episode. And Melissa herself seemed very proud of the work that had been done for season 2.
Norman teased one of his favourite upcoming scenes, which is of Daryl and Carol bickering like an old married couple, and Melissa teased about her favourite location where they slept and woke up surrounded by horses (I'm just imagining Norman waking up and immediately being terrified)
Melissa was absolutely glowing in person and exceeded any and every expectation that I may have had of her
Conclusion and final thoughts
If episode one is a good example on which to base my opinion, then I'd say that season 2 looks very promising, with the very likely possibility of surpassing the main series in ranking as my favourite show.
It has planted seeds to potentially resolve many of Caryl/Daryl's storylines that were left unresolved in the main series, in a way that's true to who Carol and Daryl are and how even we, as viewers, envisioned it should be.
And in Melissa's words from the panel:
"12 years of The Walking Dead, there was a lot unsaid... we picked some of the core issues and built on that"
All I gotta say to wrap this up is get excited!! The future of Caryl is looking bright!
~~~~
I have also written a full spoiler version of my thoughts, which goes into a further in-depth analysis of specific moments and their significance. However, I will post that once season 2, episode 1, is officially released in September.
#carol peletier#daryl dixon#the book of carol#caryl#caryl positivity#the walking dead#twd#twd spoilers#spoilers#CarylArchives
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“There is no other love, it's only yours…”
“You're all I want, all I love…” (“You’re all I want” by Cigarettes after Sex)
Yesterday I had a really rough day. It didn’t just feel like one of my regular “PEM-Crash-Days” (PEM = post-exertional malaise = the worsening of symptoms after crossing the boundaries of my condition, due to my disease ME/CFS). The whole day was also coated in a thick layer of sadness and grief…an emotional turmoil, which I could only barely endure. Well…mixing these feelings with another wave of fever and pain, seasoned with the incapacity of tolerating screen time, adding the suffocating sensation of loneliness….et voilà! The perfect recipe for a day in hell was created! 🙄
In order to cope with my emotions, I found myself drowning in my fantasies of teenage Severus and my undeniably self-inserted OC Jules…rewriting one of their short fictional scenes. Again, Severus was tormented by his own insecurities, getting carried away in self-loathing. I don’t know, how many times I’ve already written scenes like these. Jules encourages Severus to stay resilient, praising him for all those traits, which he only identifies as his flaws and weaknesses. But for Jules, there’s so much beauty, so much strength in his imperfections. She’s making his blemishes look like the most loveable attributes of Severus’ personality with her passionate speech.
When I wrote this little scene, I recognised something: I already knew, that I’m identifying myself a lot with Severus…but Jules’ words of encouragement and consolation to her beloved friend Sevy…well, they’re are also things, I would crave to hear for myself (how pathetic, huh?!). But since I’m struggling immensely with the acceptance of my own insecurities and fears, I’m not able to reassure myself of my own worth. It’s just not on the table for me!
So…I’ll just keep on telling Severus in my stories, that he deserves nothing less than the whole world…and that Jules will always try to make him feel loved and cared for. She will never stop to compare his flaws with her own weaknesses by explaining to him, how perfectly they’re matching. Jules will never grow tired to assure Severus, that his cynicism is the perfect complement to her sense of sarcasm. For the Slytherin girl, it's a clear sign for Sevy’s extremely high intellect, which is also something, that she adores about her friend. In Jules’ eyes, his bitterness mirrors a form of hypersensitivity, a characteristic, which she knows so well from herself. That’s why she’s acting so empathetically with Severus, whenever he’s suffering with his life…and Jules is convinced, that sharing those feelings will make them less unbearable! The girl even praises Severus’ stubbornness by telling him, that she’s enjoying every good and intelligent argument with him to clear the air between them. All together, Severus’ imperfections are pure perfection to the hopelessly devoted (and obviously love-struck 😅) girl.
I’m aware of the overdramatic nature and the unnecessary fluffiness of my short stories, but that’s the reason, why I’m writing them for my eyes only. It’s my form of a coping mechanism…the only way of allowing myself some kind of self-assurance and comfort…through Severus!
Some time ago, I found an artist here on tumblr, who made me fall head over heels for her tender style of drawing my beloved dungeon bat. Especially an artwork of her interpretation of the younger Snape made my heart ache with longing for him, so of course, I just had to commission @pssherri for an illustration of Severus and my OC Jules in their teenage years.
Sonja, you did an amazing job with this project and I can’t express, how grateful I am for your kindness and the dedication to your profession! It was a pleasure to cooperate with you on this idea of mine and I hope, you’ll be open to work on more of my requests some day. Thank you for everything, my dear!
🖤Severus & Julia🖤
🖤Sevy & Jules🖤
#Severus x Julia#Sevy x Jules#Severus x OC#fuck me/cfs#commissioning artwork is my goddamn coping mechanism#this is my red carpet for all the artists of snape fandom#i love severus#he’s by my side for 21 years now#21 years and still counting#i have a soft spot for young sevy#i have a soft spot for young severus#teen severus snape#severus snape#snape#i love snape#snape love#pro snape#i would protect him with my life#snape content#pro severus snape#severus snape art#snape art#snart#severus fanart#severus art#severus#i’d kill for him#i’d die for him#mecfs#writing is my coping mechanism
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nct dream as yearning songs
a/n! This is for funzies only! I don’t know any of them personally so I’m only comparing and linking their behavior shown through videos with the behavior of those I know in real life (me included). And also, If you haven’t listened to any of these songs, PLEASE give them a listen bc I feel like it’ll help you guys better understand my vision :)
Mark - End Of Beginning, Djo
Just one more tear to cry, one teardrop from my eye
You better save it for
The middle of the night when things aren't black and white
Enter, Troubadour
"Remember 24?"
Mark’s always talking about finally beginning a project whenever he’s with the dreamies, so I always get reminded of this song (that’s not the only reason tho) once the “is it really starting this time?” teasing commences — even though it might pass as a “funny” quirk, the need to establish out loud that they are “restarting” or finally starting things as if from scratch, might be because of something deeper. Mark seems like the kind of guy who works hard and reminisces about his past, especially when it comes to where it all (ironically) started. He works so hard and is almost never relaxing or taking a vacation, he says he’s fine, but since I'm a workaholic as well, I can tell you guys that we always end up breaking down because of how much stuff we’re doing. So, in those overwhelming moments, I can imagine Mark looking back to when he was in Canada, being able to rest and take in all the small pleasures the world can offer, not having to worry about his image, his feelings, his needs or if he’s “korean enough” to be working as an idol (idk about you guys, but that distinction between being a pure korean vs a mixed korean would drive me insane. I’d be so upset to always have to prove myself and prove that part of my nationality), reminiscing about the times when he was full of dreams, peace, and most importantly, energy.
You take the man out of the city, not the city out the man
Renjun - Abstract (Psychopomp), Hozier
See how it shines
Renjun is a very simple and honest man; he knows what he likes, what he doesn’t and knows how to set up his boundaries. However, he’s really sensible when it comes to life (in ALL its meanings), which is why I’m reminded of this song whenever I think of him. I’m grateful for all the things Renjun has shared with us, such as his mental health, hobbies and just his personality in general. Abstract is a song that shows how much its “subject” is sensible, brave (for jumping into traffic in order to rescue the dying/already dead animal) and never seems to catch a break, while the one singing (in this case, Hozier) can only take in the sight, not being able to do anything to help. In this analogy, Renjun is the subject and his friends/family/fans are Hozier, y’all. I feel like he strives to protect those he loves, and yearns for their well being when he can’t do anything to help.
(it was tough to choose just a small part of the song, when in fact, in my opinion, the whole thing describes him so well)
The speed that you moved
The screech of the cars
The creature still moving
That slowed in your arms
The fear in its eyes
Gone out in an instant
Your tear caught the light
The Earth from a distance
Jeno - Yes To Heaven, Lana Del Rey
If you go, I'll stay
You come back, I'll be right here
Like a barge at sea
In the storm, I stay clear
We’ve got ourselves a lover boy! No surprises there, I think. Even though this song comes from a female point of view, I think it still describes Jeno really well. Getting back on track, I feel like this suits him given the fact that when he likes someone, he likes someone — if he feels strongly like that, it’s even more intense when it comes to his loved ones, hence the song. Jeno would do anything in the world for his partner, and that includes fighting for them, to keep them by his side even if things get incredibly tough.
His reason to yearn would be his person, before he even managed to win them over. Jeno would yearn for a life next to his loved one, for their acceptance and approval of him — nothing would make him happier than hearing a yes from his lover.
Say yes to Heaven
Say yes to me
Haechan - Gilded Lily, Cults
Now it's been long enough to talk about it
I've started not to doubt it, just wrap my head around it
I remember when you told me it's an everyday decision
But with my double vision, how was I supposed to see the way?
This boy is one of the most hard-working human beings on earth, methinks. Because he’s always giving, exposing and donating parts of himself to the world, not gaining anything back… The amount of hate and fake news he gets thrown at him is insane, being the reason why I always think of him when listening to this song. He has the biggest heart ever, and he pays the price for it every single day of his life. Haechan’s personality is bright and it should shine as much as it needs to, he might look overly confident but I wouldn’t doubt that in fact, he’s totally insecure about himself and about his skills, lost in the world yearning for appreciation. Gilded Lily suits him so much it actually pains me to make this connection anywhere other than my brain.
His hard work isn’t half as repaid as it should be. Some “fans” should be embarrassed to call themselves such when the first thing they do is to attack Hae.
Haven't I given enough, given enough?
Always the fool with the slowest heart
But I know you'll take me with you
We'll live in spaces between walls
Jaemin - Chemtrails Over The Country Club, Lana Del Rey
I'm on the run with you, my sweet love
There's nothing wrong contemplating God
Under the chemtrails over the country club
In another life, I believe that Jaemin could’ve been living peacefully in a suburb, white picket fences and all. This song is filled with nostalgia and the wish to run away with your loved one, which painfully reminds me of Jaemin. He’s the perfect man, the perfect gentleman even, so that’d make his partner want to elope with him. However, this image of him resides only in my (and now, your) imagination — that’s why I chose this song for him. Whenever I take in anything that Jaemin does, I can help but think about how I’d feel in his shoes: he had the plan to become a doctor, did charity work, played the piano, got good grades and was handsome. Having such high standards and some fondness towards the academic way of life, would I be 100% satisfied living an idol life? The answer is no, ergo my need to choose this song for him. If my hunch about Jaem is correct, he’d be yearning for the possibilities of having another life, especially when it comes to love. From what he has shown us, he wouldn’t be the type to voluntarily want to hide his loved one — I feel like he’d want to boast to the world about them.
I interpret this song as a life the singer would like to have had with their loved one, but couldn’t since the opportunity passed, and is now cursed to live forever with their “what ifs”.
My love, my love
Washing my hair, doing the laundry
Late night TV, I want you on me
Like when we were kids
Under chemtrails and country clubs
It's never too late, baby, so don't give up
Chenle - loml, Taylor Swift
If you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary
You and I go from one kiss to gettin’ married
Still alive killing time at the cemetery
Never quite buried
In your suit and tie, in the nick of time
You lowdown boy, you standup guy
You Holy Ghost, you told me I'm
The love of your life
I apologize in advance to all you Chenle stans out there for bringing this up, but… IT NEEDS TO BE SAID. He fits this song so much it’s actually insane. He doesn’t have many regrets in his life (as said by the man himself), so in a world in which he’d yearn, it’d definitely be because of love, hence why his song is loml. Chenle wouldn’t be able to get over his first love, leading to countless daydreaming sessions and longing sighs. He’d reminisce about his time with the person, over analyzing everything that was said and done, remembering even the smallest things the other person said he didn’t care about. Losing something makes you realize what that thing really meant, thus creating the eternal heartache of knowing that you took it for granted — despite all the fights and wrong-doings, Chenle would never be able to forgive himself for losing the person he loved.
His first love would stay with him forever, but as time goes by, they’d be only a soft memory instead of a lingering sadness.
Our field of dreams, engulfed in fire
Your arson's match, your somber eyes
And I'll still see it until I die
You're the loss of my life
Jisung - Brother, Kodaline
If I was dying on my knees
You would be the one to rescue me
And if you were drowned at sea I
'd give you my lungs so you could breathe
If there’s one quality I’d use to describe Jisung, It’d be loyalty. He’s extremely loyal towards his hyungs, and that’s why I chose this song for him. Once the dreamies weren’t a fixed unit, Jisung shared his fear of being alone, and without his older brothers by his side, he knew not of what the future had in store for him. Hence why the lyrics (this one in particular: When we were young, we were the ones // The kings and queens, oh yeah we ruled the world) and just the “desperate” vibes of the song scream Park Jisung. He loves the dreamies so much that losing them would be as devastating as losing one of his family members. We don’t get to see the clingy and soft side of Jisung as much as the boys do, but just because we as fans don’t experience it, doesn’t mean that they can’t feel it.
There’s just not much to say besides that he loves his members to the point of sacrificing himself for them.
I’ve got you brother
The whole group - Home, Edith Whiskers ver.
We laugh until we think we'll die, barefoot on a summer night
Nothing new is sweeter than with you
I couldn’t do something like this without mentioning the dark period of when Mark was removed from the unit (sorry in advance <3), so here it is! Home would be their song from when they missed Mark, and kept reminiscing about their debut and previous comeback when their leader and older brother was still there with them. The song might come from a romantic point of view, but it’s just as fitting for a friend group, therefore making it perfect to describe the dreamie’s situation.
Losing someone important is awful, especially when that person is “removed” from your day-to-day life thanks to other people’s choices — it isn’t fair, and I’m sure the boys felt this way for a long period of time until they could shine again with Mark by their side. They’ve never been better and nct dream is now on the way to become even more powerful than before, and for that I’m incredibly proud of the children they were, who maintained themselves strong and brave throughout a heartbreaking moment. The dreamies deserve the best and my heart is at ease to see that their recognition is finally arriving. They are my home, and I’m sure they are your home as well :)
Oh, home, let me come home
Home is wherever I'm with you
#nct dream#nct dream drabbles#nct dream imagines#nct dream fic#nct dream fanfic#nct fic#nct imagines#mark lee#lee haechan#park jisung#na jaemin#lee jeno#huang renjun#zhong chenle#chenle drabbles#renjun drabble#chenle imagines#renjun imagines#mark drabbles#mark imagines#haechan drabbles#haechan imagines#jisung drabbles#jisung imagines#jeno drabbles#jeno imagines#jaemin drabbles#jaemin imagines#dreamies
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₊˚ෆ you look like shit | return to main | go to next
you were lying on your back, snuggled under your comforter that suddenly felt way too warm for you. your mind was racing as you desperately tossed and turned, kicking your feet and making a mess of your bed in the process.
sleep was eluding you, as your mind was too busy replaying last week's early training session with suna on a loop, allowing you to overanalyse a different aspect every time. for someone who had never been interested in boys, you sure seemed boy crazy right now.
“hey suna!” you greet cheerfully, approaching the tall male who was currently leaning against a metal pole, mindlessly scrolling on his phone. his hazel orbs flicker up to meet yours instantly, and you can’t help but shy away from his intense gaze.
“hey, yn.” he responds, the corners of his lips tugging up ever so slightly most wouldn’t even notice. you did though. your hands reach out to unlock the gym doors, and he easily pulls them open, waiting for you to enter first before following suit and shutting the doors behind himself.
suna threw his duffel bag onto the ground against a wall, sliding down to sit beside it and you do the same. you sit cross legged and partially turned towards him in order to face him, and he asks you a few simple questions about your day. you respond, returning a few questions of your own as you two make polite small talk.
he mentions an upcoming exam of his and grumbles in complaint quietly, eliciting a soft giggle from you. he secretly wonders what he'd need to say to hear it again one more time.
"complaining about the exam that i tutored you for doesn't make me feel great suna," you tease with a grin, watching as he pulls out the roll of strapping tape out of his bag. "i'm sure you'll do just fine."
"i'll just blame it on you if i fail." the raven haired male retorts playfully, unable to stop his gaze from flickering over towards you for a brief second. a small grin spreads across his lips at your surprised expression.
you think back to the first time he’d asked you for help with his one on one training, and how the both of you had remained mostly silent except when necessary. honestly, you were a little too intimidated to initiate much conversation back then, since you guys were basically strangers to each other.
rintaro on the other hand, was unsure of how to approach speaking to you. he could’ve easily asked one of the twins to help with his training, hell, atsumu probably would’ve jumped at the chance. he’d told everyone else (and himself) that it was his attempt at making you feel more welcome on the team, since he was well aware of his own stand-offishness.
he had always been more reserved, more quiet. ever since he was young, suna never felt the need to engage in too much unnecessary conversation and mostly preferred to just listen. by no means was the boy insecure though, always fully aware of the giggles and the whispering whenever he passed by groups of girls. he never really cared for it honestly, it seemed to be a bit more of a nuisance.
now in his third and final year of high school, suna rintaro had definitely come out of his shell a lot more, especially when compared to what he was like at the beginning. this was mostly due to his ragtag group of friends, since it was hard to remain quiet around atsumu and osama’s constant incessant bickering.
then once hina joined as their manager, she was so much of an extrovert he couldn’t help but get along with her too, and the fear she managed to strike in atsumu was also a nice added bonus.
so why on earth does he feel so nervous simply talking to you? sure, you weren’t as outgoing as hina was, but you were by no means unfriendly. suna often found himself hesitating, concerned with how you might react or afraid of the off chance that you might not like him all that much.
despite all of this inner turmoil, he still found himself inexplicably drawn to you. from the moment he’d noticed you at training, standing besides hina and so eagerly listening to everything she was explaining, wide doe eyes meeting his for a quick second. of course, he acted like he had no idea when the topic of you came up though.
“suna?” the sound of your voice pulled him out of his thoughts, and you stared up at him with a puzzled expression. “are you alright? we can skip the taping and go straight to your spiking if you’d like.”
“no!” he interjects a little too defensively, but quickly regains his composure and clears his throat. “no, uh, we can do it.”
a comfortable silence blankets the two of you, with your eyes fixated on carefully wrapping the tape around his fingers, exactly how he’d shown you. the apples of your cheeks were tinged a soft shade of pink, as you couldn’t help but silently admire just how beautiful his hands were.
this was a bad, indulgent habit you've seem to develop after many sessions with him. you genuinely, just couldn't help it though.
rintaro’s fingers were long and slender, exuding a certain elegance your own stubby ones could only ever dream of. his hands as a whole were almost double the size of your own, which was definitely part of what made him such a strong middle blocker.
for a moment, just a brief moment, you wonder what it’d be like to have his fingers intertwined with yours, his warm hands engulfing your cold ones.
you suddenly realise that you’ve become too comfortable, letting your mind escape you, and shamelessly allowing your imagination to run rampant. your cheeks heat up almost instantly in embarrassment and your hands freeze in place. you silently pray that suna hadn’t noticed how intensely you must have been staring and the glossy haze of daydream in your eyes.
“hm? you okay?” your eyes flicker up automatically in response to his words, finding that his fox like gaze was already directed onto you. had he been staring at you like this the whole time? the thought only further frazzles you.
suna shifts in place slightly, caught off guard by the sudden close proximity of your faces. feeling hyper aware of the lack of distance between you two, he sneaks a glance at your lips. he swallows, hard, tongue peeking out to swipe at his lips.
he wondered if maybe you were feeling sick since your face was so flushed, failing to notice the tips of his own ears turning a hue of red and suddenly feeling a little too warm.
“no no! i’m fine, i just forgot what i was up to!” you laugh awkwardly, breaking free from the temporary trance you had found yourself in and hoping the little white lie was somewhat believable. luckily, suna doesn't press any further, seemingly believing your words, he clears his throat and begins patiently explaining the next few steps.
neither of you notice each other’s sudden shy demeanour.
a muffled scream escapes you, frustrated at your inability to sleep you’ve resorted to shouting into your pillow hoping your mind will finally have mercy on you. maybe if you tire yourself out, you’ll stop thinking about suna rintaro.
maybe, you’ll stop thinking about how when he locks eyes with you, it seems as if you’re the only person he sees. maybe, you’ll stop thinking about when he’s teasing you, his lips curl into an playful smirk, and just how badly you’ve been wanting to feel them on your own.
it almost seems like the harder you try, the worse it gets. you mentally curse hina for planting the perverted seed in your head, happily villainising her in your mind to avoid any further mental and emotional distress.
“you look like shit yn chan.” hina says, her upbeat, cheerful tone mismatched with the playful insult she’d just hurled your way. you scowl in her direction, imagining yourself pinning her down and tickling her until she apologises for ruining your inner peace.
“hina, don’t be a bitch!” akemi scolds lightly, raising a hand to cover her mouth as she giggles softly. you let out an exhale and shake your head, an amused smile of your own plastered on your lips. it was nice to be sitting with both your friends again, even if you had to be the brunt of the joke.
hina spoon feeds you some of her yoghurt, and you flop forward to rest your head on your desk. "what's up though? you feeling okay yn?" she questions, genuine concern laced in her voice.
“i couldn’t sleep last night.” you pout with a whine. “i’m so tired-"
"-i don’t think i’ll go for dinner later.” a yawn interrupts you mid sentence, and you allow your eyelids to fall shut momentarily, craving a long and rejuvenating nap.
“ehh? no way! it’s kemi’s first time meeting the guys!” hina pounces forward at your remark, wiggling your desk just enough to force you upright. she’s got a faux expression of anger on her face, lips jutting out into a pout and crossing her arms with a ‘hmph!’ to further exaggerate her dissatisfaction with you.
kemi’s dainty fingers brush through your faintly dishevelled hair, letting out her signature sweet and airy laugh, the kind that you only hear from female protagonists in the movies. you often joked that she resembled the heroines too. akemi had very much missed being in the middle of these childish antics, grateful to be back home with her friends.
“hina, if yn’s tired we shouldn’t force her to come. i won’t be upset.” the blonde smiles prettily, showering you with her never ending kindness. you're touched and about to express your eternal gratitude before she continues, “but, you’ll have to make it up to me later!”.
you were foolish to think she’d let you off the hook completely.
“i’ll let you guys know by the end of the day, okay?”.
# mew's notes :
new private account unlocked! i wonder who it belongs to?
spotify jams are a love language idc idc
suna listened to music w yn the entire way home, and then a little longer too
# tags :
@phoenix-eclipses @semiis @iluv-ace @nbcvs @snail-squasher
#♡theunexpectedprotagonist#ador3rin#ador3haikyuu!!#suna rintaro#suna x reader#smau#haikyuu smau#hq smau#haikyuu
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a wip from the selkie au—in which Nat tries to learn how to use the internet
There’s a clacking sound, and flashes of lemon-yellow nail polish as Farah’s fingers dance across the keyboard to look up cats. For some reason.
“I don’t need to do research on cats,” Nat says.
“It’s just an example. Look. You hit ‘enter,’ and you get pictures and videos and websites and everything. Easy-peasy.”
That isn’t exactly what Nat would call it. Daunting is more of the word she’s looking for, but she swallows it down to tell her, “It seems simple enough, in theory.”
Judging by the sparkle in Farah’s eyes, she doesn’t believe her for a second, but Nat is spared from her teasing by the buzzing of a phone. Farah’s, thankfully, and not her own. She isn’t sure she could handle a computer and a cellphone in one day. Especially not at the same time.
“It’s Ava,” Farah sighs, after skimming the message. “Sorry, Natkins, gotta go—she wants my patrol reports for the week. Guess I can’t put them off for any longer. Will you be alright if I go down?”
No, Nat will most certainly not be alright. But she’d rather do this on her own anyway, if only to avoid the questions Farah would be sure to have when Nat gets to work. Surfing the internet is a journey she’ll have to take alone. Do they still call it that? Surfing?
“I’ll be fine,” she assures her friend. “If nothing else, I’ll call for you. Thank you again.”
Farah gives her a wave and wishes her good luck, as though she’s about to march into battle. When she leaves, it’s just Nat. And the laptop, glowing ominously as it offers her thousands of results about cats.
At first, she thinks the little arrow—the cursor—has gone missing, and she has to shake the mouse around on the desk to find it again. When it finally reappears, she backspaces the text in the search bar and types in what she’s truly after. This, she can’t help but think, feels like such a waste of time. Nothing could compare to the bold, black of printed text on a page yellowed with age, the texture of the paper as one traces the tip of their finger along with the text, or…
Nat hits the ‘enter’ key, and is immediately lost in a flood of results about seals.
Oh, she thinks, overwhelmed in an instant.
It is going to be a very long evening.
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Oh, baby girl, no. No no no no no.
She does look pretty, though. I'll give her that.
Huh. now that I think about it, this is not a duo we see very often. I want more of it.
No, shut up! They're so cute. They look so fond of her. I love this friend trio already.
I also love how they've just... adopted her? Best friend of Gorya is our honorary friend?
Aw. They're sneaking her in to see Kavin's speech. That's sweet.
(I mean sneaking is a loose term since they can basically do whatever they want but still. She's not supposed to be there.)
#I want more of this trio#seriously doubt I'll get it though#they're all so mellow and generally mature#offering the wise advice#especially compared to their friends most times#f4 thailand stuff#ep 10 + reaction#kaning#ren#mj#f4 thailand
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Lighting tests with the boys
#mild nudity#tsp#the stanley parable#Stanley’s being red and dramatic#because why not#narrator being in water has a bit more of an explanation#I’ve been rambling ab this to my friend a bunch but water is such a fun metaphor for The Narrator#I think a lot of times he could be compared to water#specifically I mentioned him being loud and overwhelming and crashing like a storming ocean#or his silence being cold and harsh like ice#and then later I realized that moments without The Narrator are most prominent in the desert#there’s no narrator in the end of the skip button ending or in the epilogues which both take place in this windy dry desert#because water can’t survive in the desert at least not for long#anyway anyway#I love the narrator did you guys know that? I love him so much#i have this like#5 paragraph long ramble in my notes app about human narrators relationship with water#I don’t think he’d like loud rushing water#(some sinks) (showers) (waterfalls) (etc)#I think it would overwhelm him a lot especially because he’s so new to being human#that’s why he’d prefer baths#ALSO SENSORY DEPRIVATION TANKS#he’d loveeeee sensory deprivation tanks bc not feeling this body reminds him of his form in the parable (no body only sound)#oh fuck I’m rambling again#ok ok bye fr this time#he’s also water bc I’d slurp him up🙏#.png
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It’s so fucked that the main source of unease I felt building up over the past several months was me feeling pressured to perform femininity to be seen as desirable to other people. It was never ever said said out loud in that space but I could FEEL it and I never knew until it was pointed out to me.
#it’s so agonizing to want to purposely appear desirable and never feeling like you’ll measure up#compared to everyone else#because of eurocentric beauty standard bullshit#like unironically a giant portion of those people in there were white/white passing/fell nearly within those lines#and it was fucking with my head so so bad. because I don’t have ‘dainty faerie like’ (heavy air quotes) facial features#a good portion of what exacerbated the problem is that I have a very good feeling that most of how those people are acting#or how they’re trying to appear physically#is them trying extremely hard to look sexually attractive to that individual#now mind you I’m sure that isn’t all of them but fuck#feels like shit too when you’re very much brushed past 80% of them time on the rare occasions you take a selfie#for the ‘pretty boy with socially favored facial features’ (even heavier air quotes here)#it’s for the best that I’m not in there anymore#some of those people were annoying as shit anyway abd a select few are on my shitlist forever. which could be an entire nother post lmao#and believe me that’s a big fuckin deal. do you know how hard it is for me to outright have vehement hatred towards people??#im not even trying to appear all angelic and pure n shit here I just have a hard time not trying to think positively of people#something something people pleasing tendencies adjacent shit#ESPECIALLY because someone from that space went outta their way to harass my friend. as far as I’m concerned the majority is gutter trash
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sadly between rehearsals and bad weather I never got to visit the other islands - it was so fun but I do regret that not getting to explore further! I didn't say this enough in my reblog but holy CRAP, one glimpse of your art took me back 20 years - that's extraordinary! you captured that luminous atmosphere so perfectly, I'm genuinely blown away. I lived in Tokyo for years and the glow of light in the windows in the first picture is ❤️ I'm so happy you shared these - thank you very much!
ouuugh i hope u do get the chance to visit the others in the future, they’re also just as amazing!! we actually got so lucky w the weather, it started raining just as we left inujima hfjhk!! and also !!!!!! TY AAAAA THIS IS SO SWEET n makes me so happy to hear!!!!!! <333 it was a v special trip for me so i tried my best to capture the experience, im rly glad it connected :’)))
#asks#allmyfansquees#we were surprised at how much we ended up enjoying inujima especially#it’s kinda underrated compared to the other 2 and i think most ppl skip it bc it’s a bit harder to get to#but the seirensho museum and the art projects are so so good#it was just so bonkers overall RAHH ive never seen so much amazing art and architecture and nature all together#im going back to japan later this yr n hoping to see sanaa’s 21st century museum in kanazawa this time >:3#also it was rly funny when we left inujima it was raining rly heavily and the ferry was super bumpy#my friend took a video of the crashing waves outside#which i only saw after bc i was napping for the whole ride FJKFKFK#<- catches a ferry to work everyday
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had a thought.
dawn lucas and barry are essentially the closest the world has gotten to a human existing among the ranks of legendary pokemon. theyre basically existing to protect the world, on top of being having direct ties to the lake trio. so if you think about it theyre like them.
all of sinnoh's legendaries have domains or have gifted a miracle to the world of pokemon. (dialga time, palkia space, lake trio willpower knowledge and emotion, cresselia dreams, etc)
the sinnoh trio would be no different.
and in the text books written long ago, the passages from their time in hisui states that the three children with qualities like the gods gifted the world love.
not like in a “the world suddenly knows how to love” but moreso the gift was THEIR love
#pokemashe#dawn lyre#lucas aquila#barry cygnus#LSITEN#THEY HAVE INDIVIDUAL ARCS N STUFF BUT THE MESSAGE BUT LIKE TOGETHER.#THEIR ARC ENDS WITH THEM CHOOSING TO LOVE THE WORLD#AND PROTECT IT#DESPITE THEIR HARDSHIPS#its full of love and hope and they want to see it and the people they love continue to flourish#so if they were to give a gift to the world#it would be love#they love the world and their families and their friends and each other so much#and like. comparing that especially to team galactic and how they choose to forsake the world cuz of their hardships#god i can go on about team galactic and sinnoh trio+cynthia and how they foil each other so much#i dont know if they would be celebrated in sinnoh as much as the legendaries#i think most people would believe the text surrounding the trio's time in hisui is dubious#but like#idk#explodes
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Interview With Geoff Packard
Hi! It’s been about a week or so since I’ve posted about the fact that I had an interview I had with Mr. Packard, and I figured I would write up a transcript of the whole thing just because! I would post the audio, but the quality is not the best and also I do not like the sound of my voice on recordings. The entire interview was about 16 minutes long and both he and I speak pretty fast (there are a lot of words), so there will be a td;lr at the bottom.
For context, this interview was for a music class I’m currently in, where we had to present on a song that we like - specifically on how the music was written to make us feel, and how it actually made us feel. We could only play two minutes’ worth of whatever piece we chose, so I chose Proud Riff because it’s under two minutes and I figured I could put the clip from the show into my presentation. The idea to ask about an interview came later!
Before I begin, he was an incredibly nice man to talk to and I was super, super nervous but that went away a few minutes in! He asked if I planned on recording it and that he would be okay with it, I said I was, and then we got right into it!
-------------
Me: “So, to begin, obviously because you portrayed Wayne on Broadway, I thought it would be interesting to ask how the music influenced your performance. So, as an actor, how did the music of Proud Riff make you feel?
Him: “How did it make me feel..? Um, well, I think the music is sort of optimistic, I feel like it sort of bops and it’s sort of a swing tune and it’s sort of lighter than what is going on in Wayne Wright’s world. Although, the sort of genesis of that song was a conversation Andy Blankenbuehler and I had - Andy Blankenbuehler, the director, choreographer- (laughs) Tony Award-winning choreographer... We had a conversation about what their day-to-day lives may have looked like, and how we don’t really represent a lot of that for the rest of the guys, we see sort of what Donny goes through, but the rest of the guys that came back from the war, we didn’t get to see what their day-to-day was.
“And so, there was a couple iterations of what that Proud Riff would be, and we decided it was how Wayne would be spending his time at home, getting his kids ready for pre-school or school or something, and how he... sort of locks into a habit, or locked into a habit, y’know, he was obsessive-compulsive and he... really used his habits to sort of survive during war time. And we talked about how he probably gained that sort of germaphobia that he has in the play in his trench warfare, because of the necessity to keep everything clean and to have a clean, firing weapon, and all that stuff. So... We talked about that. On an otherwise normal, sunny day, what he might be doing during the day, and that’s where that came from. And so I think the music is sort of sunny, cheerful, and he’s... slowly, y’know, through the habit of cleaning his gun, is trying to stay sunny, and just simply can’t. And I think that’s where the minor changes come towards the end of the song, if I remember correctly. And all the rhythmic hits at the end that are physicalized through tap, and the sort of twitches that Wayne would have- that’s sort of a manifestation of his memory coming back, or him not being able to control those memories.”
Me: “That, actually, was really insightful. And y’know, like... you can kind of see that on stage, but to hear that directly coming from you, it’s like “oh, so that wasn’t just up to interpretation, that was actually what was happening.”
Him: “Yeah! You know, I think- so, for anybody that might be listening to this, I teach at the University of Michigan now, and so, the next generation of theater artists are what I care deeply about, and certainly when I was training, or when I was a young person sort of experiencing shows or reading a play for the first time, I often thought: “Wow! How do they come up with this? This is, y’know, Arthur Miller just writes a play and just, hands it in, and this is the thing?” And what I’ve learned over time is that it’s much more of a collaboration from all parties involved, so, it’s not that Richard Oberacker and Rob Taylor wrote everything you saw on stage in one sitting and then shared it with us- they wrote a lot of it and had a first draft, then we all collaborated and had different ideas that helped them have other ideas. It did not occur until previews, I think, of the Broadway production. We had done a production at the Paper Mill Playhouse that did not have that piece in the show at all, but through conversation and through an idea of how to give a little more insight in their lives, they created that.
“And I should mention, a large part of that creation came from Greg Anthony Rassen and Bill Elliott, who were the orchestrators of the piece. They wrote all the dance pieces and orchestrations, too, so they were very involved in that sort of collaborative process, and y’know, that’s what you got to see on stage.”
Me: “That’s really cool! Well, um... With that last question, you kind of answered the other questions I was going to ask, um...”
Him: “Sorry.” (imagine someone saying sorry in all lowercase).
Me: “No, no, that’s totally fine! I was just going to ask like, how the music influenced what Wayne was doing on the stage, and you answered that with him twitching and, y’know, him having his physical manifestations of trying to stay sunny, and how some of the stuff he did towards the end of the piece coincides with the minor tones and all the hits and stuff, so thank you so much for that.”
Him: “Mhm.”
Me: “So, because I wanted to keep this short, I didn’t have many questions to ask you- relating to Proud Riff; can I ask just, like, one personal question that doesn’t relate to it at all?”
Him: “Sure!”
Me: “Just because I was curious, uh, because Wayne is a Lieutenant in the show, I was doing some research and I found out that most Officers have college degrees, and I just wanted to ask what you think he might’ve gotten his degree in, because- well, I don’t know, it was just something I kind of wanted to know.”
Him: “Yeah! Oh my god, I’d have to go back to my original, sort of, research journal... Um... For that. I feel like at one point in time, I knew where he went to college, and I knew what he studied, but I don’t- I mean, y’know, in my mind what he studied, and it’s not in the script, and I don’t remember really talking about that- I know we talked about him being a Lieutenant a lot, and how that would have led to him being a leader, and not being very content under Donny as the leader of the band (laughs). But what would he study..? The thing that comes to my mind is something mathematical, so I wanna say an engineer of some kind.”
Me: “Oh, that’s interesting!”
Him: “Well, I feel like he, of all of the musicians in the band, he was obviously the most strict and maybe square of everybody? Y’know, I wouldn’t call him an improvisor, y’know, he has that famous line “If it ain’t on the page, it ain’t on the stage.”
Me: “I was actually gonna mention that when you said what you did about him and Donny not gelling well at first.”
Him: “Yeah! Well, you know, he is the only officer in the group, and what that would mean for these gentlemen, y’know, they know that more than- oh, what would they be called, I wanna say muggles and it’s not- civilians! They would know that more than civilians, so we talked about the relationships in that way, but yeah, I think he would be- I forget what it was, but I think it’s sort of engineering, or something that involves something that can be accomplished through math, and that has a specific answer and an end to it.”
Me: “That makes a lot of sense for him. Well, that all I really wanted to ask.”
Him: “Do you still have some time? Do you have any more questions? I mean, we’ve got three more minutes.”
Me: “Well, let me see if I can think of something, uhhhhh..!”
Him: “Oh, remind me, did you see the show- did you see it live, or did you see the Fathom Events recording?”
Me: “I really wish I could have seen it live; however, in 2017 I was only 14, and going from [REDACTED LOCATION] to New York was... Well, that wouldn’t have been possible, unfortunately, so I’ve only been able to see the professional recording, and- and I love it, I need to rewatch it again. But yeah, y’know, I do really love the show, I like going back and looking at all the little details that happen, like not necessarily what the focus is on the stage, but also looking at all the side interactions- like, there was one time I went back and watched, and I noticed that in Breathe, right after Davy makes his comment about Nick, the “choreography” bit, you walked over to Mr. Ellis, and y’know, Davy just gave Wayne a salute, and it was the funniest thing to me for forever. And these aren’t things that you notice on the first watch-through, but going back and looking at all of it is just- it’s just fun.”
Him: “And the interesting thing about the filmed version of it is that, since film and TV is such a visual medium, the editors, which I think Andy (Blankenbuehler) was a part of, they sort of tell you where to look. If you think about all the things that you’re like “Oh, I missed this from the filmed version,” there’s infinitely more moments like that when you have a whole stage that you can look at. So unless it was in a wide shot on the Fathom Events version of it, you only got to see what the editor wanted you to see in those moments, so... Y’know, that’s why I was asking you if you saw the live version. I really loved the Fathom version, and I’m so grateful that it exists; there’s really no substitute for being in the room. Although you can’t, y’know, you can’t rewind, it, so... (laughs) You just get what you get, you know?”
(After this point, we have a short conversation about me! There are a few identifying details in this section that I don’t feel comfortable sharing, though, so I would rather not type them out.)
Ta-da!
Td;lr:
Proud Riff was meant to give an insight into Wayne’s everyday life.
It shows how on an average day, the sun might be shining, but Wayne is still struggling.
Wayne most likely developed his germaphobia due to being involved in trench warfare, out of the necessity to keep everything clean and working.
(Including this just because some people might not have seen interviews where it is confirmed) Wayne has OCD, cleaning his gun is a ritual.
The taps are meant to be a physical manifestation of the memories that haunt Wayne- the ones he cannot control.
Proud Riff was not in the Paper Mill Playhouse production of the show.
Wayne obtained a degree in engineering or something relating to math. He likes how they have specific answers and ends.
Wayne is the only Officer in the Donny Nova Band. He usually takes on leadership positions and does not enjoy Donny being the band leader at first.
Wayne is, in Geoff Packard’s mind, the most strict and square out of everyone in the band.
Wayne is not an improvisor.
There were a lot of side interactions onstage that we did not get to see in the Fathom Events recording. Sad day. :(
#bandstand#bandstand musical#broadway#broadway musicals#musical#wayne wright#mr packard is the sweetest man ever i still need to send him a follow up thanking him for his time#it was neat going back and looking at some of the things he said and comparing it to some of the fanfiction i've read#bandstand fandom stays accurate to the characters ig#we are just that cool#for the most part#especially the one fic where nick and wayne are childhood friends and wayne cannot improv#those twelve whole notes hold more character accuracy in a fanfic than anything else i've ever read#(i'm kidding obviously but like holy shit whoever wrote that was in wayne's brain i stg)#anyways this took me two hours to type#i have a music theory test in the morning#goodnight and enjoy
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Making this comic has really made me realise there’s just way too many important characters in Pokemon XY
#there's already 4 rivals all introduced at the same time and who are friends but then you have lysandre sycamore sina and dexio#with 5 important villain team admins#diantha and az are kiiiinda meant to be important too but there wasn't enough room to fit them in enough#then you've also kinda got Korrina and her grandfather who explain mega evolution for you#it's amazing they were able to develop it as much as they did they tried to squeeze in so much#most if not all of the characters fall flat in the end because of it but still#because you have 3 rivals in swsh but they rarely interact with each other they're mostly rivals of you#so even though it's a high number there's still more room to develop the characters individually#it does get a bit exhausting trying to make sure all the characters get developed enough#I didn't realise how much bigger the character scale was in XY compared to all the other games#especially when I have favs I want to give way more focus than what's in the game#it's really hard to figure this out#on one hand I want to give all the characters time to shine but at the same time that's going to take a REALLY long time#would people be alright with that too#would -I- be able to go that long is a big one too!!#only time will tell#XYLiro#pokemon
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Hello, I've been thinking about your actors au. Are you doing anything about Rei and Mikio being the only side characters with faces in the first trial? Because I do have a theory about that which I haven't posted but I always thought that was really interesting. Even Yamanaka pointed it out in the first anniversary stream.
Ah, I definitely want to!! Mikio is the man in Harrow, right? (There's also maybe-Rumerie in Bring it On who drives me crazy to this day asdfsd) I'm hoping once the project ends and we get the bigger picture, I can really highlight their relationships more. I'll touch on some of my ideas real quick, but I'd love to hear your theory if you ever end up posting it 👀
My problem is, I originally thought the faces show the prisoners' love towards them, and not necessarily mutual relationship -- which causes some hiccups with including them as characters in the au... (Including t2 faces), Haruka hungers for his mother's love, but given her abuse, they couldn't in good conscience have her on set with him. Rumerie may have been some sort of friend, but he didn't seem so close that he'd be okay seeing Fuuta again and being implicated in his crime. Muu cares very deeply for Rei, but even if the murders never occurred, I can't picture a young girl would feel safe filming her own death at the hands of her bully... I ran into a similar issue with Mahiru and Kazui's partners, but as adults I felt like it was easier and safer for them to consent to the situation.
However! The fact that Kotoko's victim has a clear face really interests me, because that's the only one that (seemingly) has no established relationship or love between them. What could Muu's realtionship with her classmate have in common with Kotoko's and the victim she hunted down from a distance? So I'd love to compare with your thoughts and reevaluate my theory as the new mvs come out...
#milgram#rei#mikio#rumerie#ah thank you for the question -- im glad youre enjoying the au :))#(i know you didnt really ask for all my thoughts asdfdsf but ah well)#as a big fuuta fan that those arcade guys have been driving me insane and i still have nothing to show for it lmao#but yeah -- i do want to include something eventually that their connection was the most important#because even though hinako hsa a face now theres something to be said about her appearance in half#kazui really wasnt thinking as deeply about her as muu was thinking of rei and so on#itd be sweet in the au if - after everything settles down - rei can see muus videos somehow and realize she did deeply care about her#resulting in them smoothing things over and becoming good friends#i do love the reimuu theory so ill see how much room i have for interpretation when everything ends hehe...#(i dont want to promise writing years ahead of time but i want to add an epilogue chapter once we actually know who es is and get#the full story on the prisoners)#id love to hear your theory about them!#especially mikio! its shameful how little ive analyzed meme/harrow compared to some of the others -_- itd be cool to hear more about him#later ill make an official tag for this au#i think its time#ask#lights camera sing your sins
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What are your thoughts on Nakamori Aoko? And about her role in MK?
-
I'm torn, because her role as a character could be good, but it's insultingly underutilized.
Her personality is fine. Strong side being that she's known Kaito long enough to not get chased off by his real less than stellar personality, and she fiercely supports the police because her father is on the force, giving her an overall 'talk shit get hit' attitude towards criminals. Pretty loyal, too. Vulnerable side stemming from the fact that her father works too much and it seeming that none of the people close to her overtly support her -(which I say in a wordy way because Kaito does support her, but he'd die of embarrassment if he did it in an obvious way)- leaving her alone with some self esteem issues. ...Which may also have something to do with why she's friendly around new people, for better or worse. Altogether, she initially comes across as strong willed, but actually gets hurt easily. She could be a complex character to work with...
If she ever got any focus outside of being a convenient tool for Kaito in his heisting.
The Sun Halo chapters gave a lot of potentially good ideas, and then essentially tossed them into the trash because the writing had to stick to a three chapter format. KID and Aoko kidnapped together by another criminal, KID injured, Akako and Hakuba getting in contact to find them with magic and detective work, etc. But the biggest tease was the idea of Aoko realizing that Kaito might be KID. An idea that's been in MK fans minds for as long as the series has existed, build up by Ginzo suspecting Kaito while Aoko defended her friend, the knowledge that Aoko has a personal dislike of the thief and shows that anger every single time she sees KID, probably the most complex subject regarding Aoko that people like to mull over.
And it's just. Given half a chapter, a few frames of her questioning things in her thoughts, and then dropped. Given a handwave and implied to be ignored.
I could go into other details, but the best way to sum it all up at once is to say that Aoko is someone trying very hard to do and be good, and the narrative works even harder to just constantly cut her down behind her back. She 10000% deserves better than what she's being given in MK, moreso than pretty much any other character, because at the moment she's just a slow burn tragedy with her protag friend lying to her and using her as much as he can get away with, and that he will continue to get away with because of main character privilege.
#Anon#Question! Answer!#mk answer#Aoko is both the most underutilized (in character driven ways) and overutilized (as a narrative tool) girl#Everything about her personality is both in your face and yet goes by in a blink#Because her 'problems' are only shown for specifically told reasons that Kaito will take care of the cause in the chapter#Even though her problems seem to be recurring and tbh Kaito can't just 'fix' everything#Not everything can /be/ 'fixed'; especially if he's part of the problem#This was sitting in my drafts for a while because as soon as I thought a bit about Aoko#I knew it'd be a lot#(And then because it was in drafts I forgot about it more than once but shh)#People compare Aoko and Ran so often but Aoko is so much sadder to think about#Ran at least definitely has friends and y'know. Solid connections with so many people at any given time#And gets to show off sometimes; and just have normal times and happy times because she can just exist#Aoko's negative to positive moments in the series are. Not a good ratio.#And she does have okay moments where she can just be silly or happy but.#Man; from a reader's perspective; everything in MK being focused on KID...#(Well; it's a detriment to everyone; really) but Aoko gets abused so much by the priority given for successful heist plots
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