Yay I finally managed to make my 2023 art summary! First half of the year was a little disappointing looking back (in terms of both amount and quality). I think I managed to make more personal work this year, thankfully, which is what I wanted last year

happy 2023 nerds. 2022 was pretty good, I hope this year will be survivable!!

The Pluto in Aqua Survival Guide For Millennials and Gen Z 🚀

Part 1: Pluto through the Houses (Below) | Part 2: How The Generations Will Be Affected + Advice // Long Post Ahead++ If you’re reading this in February 2024, Pluto hasn’t officially transited into Aquarius yet but it WILL spend most of the year in it. This is giving the same vibes as 2008, the year of the US recession and subsequent global economic crash—but was, interestingly enough, when Pluto previewed Capricorn. It wasn’t exactly stable yet carried a smorgasbord of influence. In the 5 months and 2 and a half weeks it spent in the water goat’s sign, billions of charts were affected in ways we’re still studying to this day. So I consider this ‘preview’ worth studying as well because history can be cyclical.

But I think a doom and gloom perspective is redundant. We’re used to hearing how we can’t do something or how insurmountable the odds are because we typically associate Saturn with austerity. ‘The economy’s down’, ‘we can’t afford this,’ ‘climate change is worsening by the day,’ ‘10 tips to stop yourself from doom scrolling,’ including whatever well-meaning anxieties your parents reminded you of this week while you’re panicking over whether or not your Uber Eats tip is going to overdraft your account. Where Aquarius differs from Capricorn is that it prefers not to compromise its ideals over its survival. The latter are like the Millennials who project their neatly compartmentalized boomer inflicted trauma onto their subordinates because they’re from a generation where Uranus and Neptune’s dreams of job security on the horizon became lofty and farfetched by the recession. It hit when those born from the mid 80s to mid 90s would’ve been entering middle school or finishing university by that time (11-23yo). That means that those on the cusp of adolescence and at the beginning of our stages of realization in early adulthood weren’t catapulting into the abundance promised if they ‘worked hard enough’ but straight into an echoless void. But under Pluto in Aquarius, we can expect hopefuls to pick up the debris left strewn on the ground from the failed system and repurpose familiar ideas into more promising and sustainable fabric. If we think of the typical Aquarius, they’re usually a person who had to adapt to a negligent environment using a unique form of genius which subsequently separated them from the rest. They’re shrewd and strategic and have a sixth sense for building their world view around what makes sense to them—even if they’re the odd ones out yet again. Because what they don’t tell you about the water bearer is that no matter how embittered it becomes, somewhere under the weeds of the pain and disappointment its grown to expect, there’s an idealistic child selfishly clinging to hope—they’re lovers masking as misanthropes. That’s why Leo, ruled by the Sun, is its sibling. Through its opposition, we learn to always keep our standards for ourselves and the world around us sky high. If the system benefits from us underestimating ourselves, we must invest in shameless self belief.

__________

Dates are a rough estimate and will hypothesize what Pluto in Aqua (and other slow moving transits) have in store for those born between 1984-2007. Pluto in Aqua (themes): Recycle/Upcycle, Renew, Radicalize, Reject Key: • Saturn = Consolidation and attitudes towards structure and foundation (how they systemize/structure themselves esp when they need help or avoid it) • Uranus = Innovation and drastic sudden changes personally/circumstantially • Neptune = Personal zeitgeist and attitudes towards social trends and moods which deal with the topic of that house • Pluto = Aggrandizement of power, resources, and gains and losses of scale through the process of (slow and deeply sewn or festering) upheaval/uprooting, death, decay of the topics of the house it occupies, catalyst(s) for personal transformation Aries 1H: (Pluto in 11H) - friend groups, networks, the internet, and community service, (theory—ruler = social capital and clout) —Expansion (or) creation of friend groups and networks who share what matters most to you and finding community support amongst an unexpected group of people who’ll radically change your mindset. You may go through a period where everyone seems to ‘fall off’ right before you find the right people (they’ll probably be outliers or unique). Industry wise, this can mean being more tapped into what’s next tech and internet wise especially if you have placements here. Some of you may go off the grid entirely and live in a co-op in the woods/mountains to be honest.

But you and Gemini Risings need to watch Midsommar twice at the least. But this transit will also put many of you in places of leadership. You’re going to become the main protagonists in these tribes or circles of new ideas, especially with Uranus trining from your 3rd and Neptune creating a blazing soul fire in your 1st. Since Jupiter generally joys in the 11th, that Pluto/Neptune on your 11/1 feels like many of you may adopt a belief system or reject the notion of mainstream spirituality entirely for something more grounded and personal to you. Just be mindful of ideological rabbit holes and potentially isolating yourselves by accident. Taurus 1H: (Pluto in 10H) - social status/public image and career direction and its honors and great achievements, bosses and people in high positions of power, public recognition (and the pursuit of it) —Thought leader and People’s Champ—See what’s happening with Megan Thee Stallion where the entire internet shifted to support her after years of bullying and targeted harassment (she’s a Taurus Asc). The ambitious will benefit heavily from this transit while the unambitious (but who want to live well) will gain attention, credibility, and opportunity for surviving all this time, esp if you’re marginalized w/ a platform (if you don’t have one, get one NOW). People will uplift you for the more authentic you are.

But you’re going to have to learn to accept that others will see the greatness in you that you’ve been afraid of believing all along. With Uranus moving through your 2nd and Neptune in your 12th, you’re going to feel like you finally have autonomy with your finances and life path. But it’s going to call for you being comfortable with advocating for yourselves and setting clear boundaries because the former outers in Aqua hitting your 1st from your 10th can mean you spent a period being disrespected and feeling adrift by male or authority figures and it leading to you questioning yourself and your life potential. You’re used to people not believing in you—but the tables have turned. Stand on top of the business of yourself. Gemini 1H: (Pluto in 9H) - higher education, government, long distance travel and foreign culture, and organized religion and traditionally taught spirituality, politics, and publishing (large scale, corporate), teaching —Many of you may drop out of school (or find niched but polarizing niches within it), travel the world permanently, or may be radicalized by spirituality, politics, or education in a very BIG way that’ll be unique to this era. Please avoid Scientology and cults like the plague (or starting them) because there’ll be a strong ‘itch’ to find a sense of purpose w/ this transit. Because it’s so deep and aggrandizing, you’re going to feel like your entire life revolves around something larger than yourself and while this is a GOOD thing, you can get lost if you don’t have an internal compass.

The answers are within YOU, not something else. But this will be a very big ‘finding yourself’ transit to get to that conclusion. Similar to my advice to Aries Risings, these outers are hitting major identity shifting houses for you—The difference with you, Gemini, is that your ideals will be more solid but your concept of ‘yourself’ will undergo several transformations which will compliment your politics. Your framework for life will experience a new barrage of ‘what ifs’ and the current way you think will not be the same as it was a week, a year, ten years, 20 years into the future. You love change but with Uranus squaring a Pisces MC for some of you (or planets there), it’s important that you remember who you are versus what the world may want from you. Don’t get lost in the sauce. Cancer 1H: (Pluto in 8H) - shared resources and boundaries, inherited trauma and family karma [5th from the 8th] (and material inheritance) and trauma cycles, and coping mechanisms, shame and denial, loans/taxes, supernatural experiences, death, and the occult, sexual entanglement and taboo —You’ve already had three outer planets run amok in here and this will be the continuation of what Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune have prepped you for. Having terrible boundaries (too thick or thin) and other people’s baggage you feel like you have to shoulder or inherit is not gonna be it this time around. But the theme of this for some of you will be a HUGE taking-back-your-power-from-other-people era.

It’s taking ownership of something in your life that others thought they were entitled to. But it usually comes with a molting, shedding, and releasing process. This period can also be about transmuting grief, shame, or guilt into power. Others may fall down the rabbit hole of metaphysics (esp via NDE, astral travel, etc) and there’ll be a pocket who’ll (this sounds wacked but ima say it) experience alien contact and communication due to Uranus/Pluto being in air signs in psychic houses for you. But oof—The era of the people pleasing because people made you think being assertive is a ‘bad’ thing is over. Leo 1H: (Pluto in 7H) - contracts, serious relationships and marriages, relationship dynamics and what is projected onto you and from you, enemies you know —Similar to Cancer Risings, you’re used to having your boundaries compromised because conditioning taught you not to have them (or to make them steep). During this next cycle, your rebellion and rejection of what’s expected from you in your relationships will most likely send you down several rabbit holes where you experiment with different relationship styles and there’ll be a sense of ‘anarchy’ to everything.

Uranus transiting your 10H has been amplifying this already so you’re at the point now where you’re too far gone to appease and bow out like usual. But you’re also committed to radically setting boundaries now or letting them dissolve—if you’re ready for it. If not, Pluto transiting here can create spores of abandonment issues to infect relationships if the core causes aren’t uprooted—but having any natal Aqua placements will provide clues to learn what’s there. Being vulnerable and intimate means letting people know what hurts, where it hurts, and how they can care for you to accommodate it. Virgo 1H: (Pluto in 6H) - service industry, day jobs and short-term employment and trends with employment, overall job market and how you fit within it, work ethic, everyday health and routines (and health concerns), and pets (small domesticated animals) —You are so DONE with the way you’ve been treated or felt ‘afloat’ with your everyday life over the past several years (and longer). With Uranus about to transit your 10H for a while with Neptune in your 8H are going to push you (externally and internally) to take charge of your life in a way you can control. You’re very good at following orders because it’s sensible but suck at taking charge because honestly?

Neptune transiting your 7th for so long gives me the impression that you have a hard time saying ‘No’ when people need things from you. For the contrarians in the audience, relax—It just means your environment taught you to placate it. But life path wise, or just for right now, Pluto will force you to take your dreams and goals more seriously by thrusting you into situations where you’ll feel like you’re being called to act on your deep soul urges at last. Especially with the North Node transiting here in a few years—You’re going to know you’re doing what’s ‘right’ for you if it feels like you can finally be yourself. Libra 1H: (Pluto in 5H) - pleasure and recreation, the arts (esp those which feed the inner child), children, and more serious hobbies or deeply felt/consistent ones (passions), romanticism/addictions/vices which become necessary for recreation or to feel creative inspiration, what inspires you and how deeply it hits/affects —In a professional or creative sense, you’re about to tap into some serious inner child healing where you take those years you’ve neglected the more artistic part of yourself and devote yourself to nurturing it (at last). Relationship wise, many of you will be reconsidering having children later on than you originally planned because you value stability. Others will be abandoning it all together.

This will also be a period, calling it now, where a good portion of you will be more open to polyamory if you weren’t already. In a non-romantic sense, you’re going to be more interested in non-hierarchal and more communal relationship dynamics where your world has the robust support system you needed as a child. The focus overall will be finding sustainable ways to repair the damage/trauma you most likely experienced from having Pluto in Capricorn hit your angles for so long, especially for cardinal signs. But it’ll feel strange and even dizzying at first—You’re not used to shamelessly choosing yourself and your inner world and desires therein. Get comfortable by letting people be uncomfortable with this shift. Scorpio 1H: (Pluto in 4H) - family and origin, family secrets and history, bought and inherited real estate/material wealth, one’s sense of security and privacy and the private self, family legacy and drama, roots and family patterns and obligations and how we react to them —There’s some childhood wounds that need to properly scab over that you’ve been picking at for the last several years or more since Saturn entered its home signs and conjoined Pluto. Not all of you have family problems, but the other three outers transiting here lets me know that the concept of ‘safety’ will be a sensitive topic. Did you feel completely supported? Did you experience neglect? Were there issues with boundaries?

Gen Z/illennials with outer planets here will not be able to skirt around facing their core issue of fearing being vulnerable. Uranus in Gemini trining this house from your 8H will expedite this after it’s done squaring it from Taurus in your 7th—which just made things more awkward and chaotic than better. This house also dealing with family legacy with Pluto here may present…unexpected rewards for your suffering that were long overdue. Material rewards and those that can only be measured with the heart. You will be gaining this time instead of losing. Sagittarius 1H: (Pluto in 3H) - early childhood experiences, siblings, neighborhood and local community affairs, communication and publishing (written and digital—usually small scale), everyday rituals and hobbies, creature comforts which are ritualized, short distance travels, habits which are taught or gained/inspired, mundane everyday activity or obligation and how you feel about it/go about it —With Pluto leaving your 2H, you’re experiencing a titanic-level mindset shift. Depending on the rest of your chart, what you can anticipate is that your everyday life will carry a new level of intensity. Everything will have additional weight and purpose. But your well-being is moving out of a place of operating out of constant survival-mode to prioritizing what you think about what your life ought to look like.

Pluto transiting from your 12H to your 3H, depending on your age, means that the underpinning of your life has revolved around what your role is within a conglomerate of people where the focus isn’t on you but what you can contribute or you acting out in defiance of that or having an existential fear, that’s usually impressed on you by a parent, of losing control. With the outers beaming from your 5th and 7th, this is going to be about you going back to the beginning—what makes you genuinely happy? What makes you feel good? Who do you like having around you? Who’s important and why? It’ll feel like learning to walk again and rediscovering your core interests, passions, and love styles but without worrying about who you’re performing for. Because fuck them. Kindly and unkindly. Capricorn 1H: (Pluto in 2H) - personal resources and finance, attitudes about material security and said resources, the different ways in which material comfort can ground us and reflect in what makes us feel the most secure in our lives on a day to day basis, love of the material and/or fear of it, conditioned attitudes about money —You’re in a unique position where you’re going to begin valuing yourself outside of what you can tangibly provide—and for you this is a big deal because that’s how you’ve perceived yourself until now. Pluto settling in your 2nd means that for some of you, your ideas will become your black card (your perspective on the outside looking in or the inverse) and any community you tap into will provide you with its resources.

For others, you’ll be experiencing ego deaths where you’ll either want to detach from the system entirely and start growing your own food, sourcing your own materials, etc, anything to make you into the resource instead while the opposing camp will turn their corporate trauma into winning underdog success with new industries (and opportunities) that’ll open up. There’s going to be a death somewhere with all parties involved regarding how you see yourself. It won’t be about what you can do for the world but how it will pivot to work for you. But it requires a perspective shift—Are you ready to kill off the part of yourself who’s been taught wind, storm, and turmoil are required to live a comfortable life? Haven’t you suffered enough? Aquarius 1H: (Pluto in 1H) - vitality and life force, core identity, the lens you see your life through (esp w/ planets here), how others see us and how we present ourselves consciously and unconsciously, appearance/style, the circumstances life brought you into and themes which play out around it (has more to do w/ parents and family dynamics) —You’ve been a lone wolf for a hot minute now—With so many outers hitting your angles for decades, you’ve found a bit of schadenfreude in the world waking up and realizing how fucked up everything’s been. But in a strange turn of events, said world’s now standing awkwardly on your doorstep, especially for those w/ other placements in Aquarius. You’re being recognized and vindicated for what’s been denied to you.

But if you’ve been sabotaging all this time, you may take any life or behavior adjustments you’ve felt prompted to make as an invitation for more rejection and ridicule. Because Pluto’s going to energize any generational planets you have here (or have transited), all of your actions have radical potential—but it’ll be up to you to decide if they’ll aid or hinder you. If they’re moving you forward (w/ Neptune in Aries hitting your 3rd), you’ll be able to transmute your self-consciousness of feeling othered into self-actualized power. If not, you’ll truly be rebels without a cause—feeling more lost than ever before. Especially for those of you w/ Scorpio placements. Pisces 1H: (Pluto in 12H) - what’s hidden from us and the unseen (including enemies), the unconscious, hospitals/mental institutions/jails and hidden but very present structures of life, isolation and sanctuary, foreign lands, spirituality, sabbaticals, unconscious wounds, where we undo ourselves, large animals, circumstances before birth which affect the native in unseen ways or were present —You have the opportunity to set things right but it’s going to require you do a little forgive and forgetting, wiping the slate clean, or whatever necessary to heal the wounds of alienation and scrutiny many of you have experienced w/ the Aquarius outers transiting and/or occupying your 12th. Because this is the house of self-undoing and unearthed psychic trauma, there’s a lot you’ve been processing. Many of you have a bad habit of wearing your wounds without tending to them properly or detaching and letting them fester in private—And the first new and full moons in Aqua over the next several years will help you realize just how debilitating that’s been. You don’t know who you are unless you’re impaling yourself on something–because deep down, you may find suffering to be necessary or it gives you purpose. 

But your 12H in Aqua being hit with transformative Pluto is going to make you aware of how much this cycle is the result of you being emotionally neglected in some way, shape, or form. Especially for those with personal or generational Aquarius planets, it means that you found refuge in alienation and being on the outside looking in. But Pluto here can operate as a catalyst for rich and profound spiritual and emotional growth. But this planet here is double edged—Either you’re going to learn that you have an identity outside of the outsider or you’ll let it push you further into the void of detaching and expecting the worst because the worst is what you’ve always had to endure. Don’t do this anymore.

If you don't mind me asking but when did you first get into re:zero

yeah i dont mind at all :o ig yallre gonna hear my full origin story now haah. its my—my… ok id say tragic backstory but i dont think this is really that tragic LMAO. my humorous backstory? silly backstory?

anyway i got into rezero in summer of 2020!! this was months before s2 started airing and by around this time there was just s1, s1 directors cut may or may not have been out?? i forgor :<, but then s2’s first teaser came out right about now.

it was quarantine…. i was bored one day and wanted smth new to watch… and by then id only really briefly seen rezero—like you know that s1 promo poster with subaru standing there while surrounded by some of the main girls in s1 (beatrice felt emilia rem ram)?? yeah id seen that. in the back of my mind i kinda assumed the show was just another one of those abt a dude surrounded by his harem of girls or smth?? :< but then i learned the Real Premise is the time travel. via death!!!! and ive always loveddd angst and whump so i was like “NO FUCKING WAY I HIT THE JACKPOT” and eagerly looked into rezero some more to see if it was worth watching. and then i saw all the shit reviews on rz that never seemed to agree on if it was good or not…… and then gigguk’s video…… and then i saw mother’s basement on youtube make a defense of rezero s1 and i was like!!! ok fuck it im watching this show. i want the angst i want the complex time travel shit. i think id spoiled myself on a couple of subarus deaths by this point trying to decide if i should commit to rezero and then i started binge watching s1!! esp when i was like ok this is a good time to get into it s2 was announced right??

anyway i got hooked on rezero fr 👍👍 the first s1 emisuba lap pillow had me quaking in my boots ;-;;; and i was already invested from ep1 bc i liked the characters a lot already!!! i am simply BUILT DIFFERENT i loved subaru from day one!!! by the royal selection episodes ofc i was dying of secondhand embarrassment but tbh i grew even more invested in rezero after that!! i was and still am super impressed that the narrative had the balls to have subaru fuck up sooo so so bad there. like seeing that emisuba argument and the julisuba duel for the first time was crazyyy. the conflict was really good and the latter s1 development…. woagh.

and then you know i finish s1 and i immediately get to researching how to read, i read arc 4’s wn and bawl my eyes out from the sheer amount of rollercoaster both the emotions and Long Ass Novel gave me (yes i was bawling my eyes out at parent and child) (yes i was bawling my eyes out at choose me) (yes i was bawling my eyes out for all the suffering loops) (yes i was bawling) (i have no clue how i read all those pages fr like that arc is massive), i speedrun arc 5, i accidentally spoil certain bits for myself (arc 6 stuff), i read most of arc 6 in spurts, tune in every week for s2 (and bawled my eyes out seeing the s2 part 1 op for the first time) etc etc!! one thing lead to another and now i am here…….. three yrs in this fandom… nearly (?) a yr being active on rezero tumblr… HAH

also i made a reddit account back inn…. 2020 or 2021 bc i wanted to be a tinyyy bit active in rezero reddit (this was half a mistake btw. i think i have more balls of steel now but my younger self was sooooo naive. shaking them by the shoulders. this is an anime fandom!!!!!! and this is reddit!!! whatre u expecting???? i am less shy now on the internet thats for sure!!). anyway im still a tiny bit active on rz reddit now after not touching it for like a year. now i use my reddit account for spreading otto propaganda and slander /lh …../hj

but anyway ive never been active in fandoms until rezero and thats bc id usually lurk and a lot of my past hyperfixation medias were :< big fandoms :<<< but then. ok im a fanfic enjoyer and i didnt write much fanfic or publish fic at all before this fandom but then in 2020 after watching s1 i checked rezero’s ao3 page and *sniffles* *sobs* thERE WAS ONLY LIKE 2 PAGES ON THERE MAN….. A WHOLE DESERT…. yes and then one thing lead to another and now there is more fic and also ig id be considered an english fic writer elder maybe…… i started posting in like fall/winter 2020? and maaaan im one of the only ppl from that era whos still posting i think!!! ive seen the entire english fanfic scene pop up!! ive participated in a bunch of community events… sooo wild to think about. i feel old guys!!!

but now i have gotten more and more active in the rz fandom yes :3 its been fun!! rezero is very important media to me and ive met lots of cool people in my time here :) when october 2024 rolls around itll be s3 time (AAAAA HYPE HYPE HYPE) and like four yrs of me being in this fandom?? its wild but my lifes genuinely changed a lot bc of me getting into rezero!! met lots of cool people… made pals… gotten my writing and art out there and improved on it via. large amounts of rezero fanart HAH.. became more unhinged.. etc etc :D even got to meet one of my buddies i met via rezero irl 👍👍 more irl crossover events will happen i swear.

also gigguk in my eyes redeemed himself for his old rezero skit vid by making a glowing review for rezero s2 with his pals. i can forgive him i suppose :<<<

in conclusion: idk if i count as a fandom elder but i sure have a lot of my own fandom lore pfft :<<<

its that time again | q w q )

all things considered it was a really rough year for me mentally and emotionally, esp the latter half, so it's heartening to look back on my work and still see so much im still pretty proud of aheem heem... burn away was officially on the back burner - its strange not see any nuzlocke art here at all but i think the hiatus has been for the best! i have a lot of things in the works for 2024 please look forward to it !! ◠‿◠

the last few k-bls released beginning of this year were so disappointing ngl (esp the karam and leo drama like PLSSSS) but i’m so so so pleasantly surprised with our dating sim, a shoulder to cry on & the latter half of all the liquors (the first 3 eps were not good but trust it gets so much better). i’m excited for the next ones coming out in the upcoming weeks :’)

Chang Feng Du

I’ve been catching up, because I am a moron and thought it had already finished airing, but it’s 40 eps and finishes today, so i’m not done yet.... but hopefully will be soon.

Anyway something I’m noticing with this drama (and maybe it’s the writer? I liked LBFAD but never was as deeply into it as others) is that while my heartstrings are getting tugged when they need to be - the defense of Wangdu was great, them wanting to go out in almost a blaze of glory and truly becoming a couple, the court fight, imprisonment and Yuru’s fake out death, or rather the reaction to it was very well done and impeccably acted and most recently (and heartbreaking for me) the Old Man Breakup :( that was crushing - something is missing to tie it all together.

For example with Yuru’s death, although the grief of the characters hit me, since 1) it was so obvious she wasn’t dead and  2) the writing made some weird choices (why was she in ~hiding for 3 years, how is her being like the most high profile businesswoman in any way protecting her and Jiusi? I didn’t really buy that), that impact was lessened considerably. Sidenote, Jiusi’s dead eyes when he gets told to dam the Yellow River was very well acted and I wish the drama/writing had allowed for more of Jiusi’s dark side to come out. He’s a deeply vindictive man when it comes down to it and the fact that he just kinda grumbles on the inside against the emperor but does.. nothing??? else? is a bit weird. It is Yuru who tells him when he is about to embark down the wrong path and he is able to reflect (but not regret) and change course, that’s what makes their relationship so good for me. 

It feels to me like the drama took the pacing issues in the novel (and esp in the latter half they are pronounced) and elevated them, the drama starts like it has 50-60 episodes to tell its story but at around ep 20 it realises oh no i gotta get to the back half of the plot and gotta get the Big Stuff in but the connecting tissue is paper thin sometimes. I as a reader know why Uncle Mickey is working with Luo Zisheng and probably the drama will explain it too in the last 4 eps but so far it just felt so weird and out of left field and then it barely has any time to be explored before the magic 3 years are over and suddenly LZS has to leave the capital. 

I really do like the beginning of the show and it had some great great visuals but in hindsight i wish the pacing had been a lot tighter.

Persona 3 Problems: Maiko Birthday Shenanigans!

Huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Interesting things going on with Maiko in the fandom. Won't say what but let's just say......jail to that person (and *saves screenshot* At least FeMC fans have ammo to fire back TT0TT)

BUT besides that......welllllll. That post made me realize something. Atlus is inconsistent about her age!

Maybe that's why I thought Maiko was A LOT closer to Ken's age than I originally thought, but the game (iirc OG/FES/3P) actually says she's a 2nd grader. I DO remember P3P stating that, because that's the version I usually play (SHOCKER! in my defense half of it is because it's usually on the go, and the other half is I like seeing differences between the male/female sides....it's also faster). Anyway, it was also the first thing I checked when I did a playthrough, so I'm fairly certain.

Buuuuut according to the wiki (fandom one, I know I know, issues, I'll see what I can do about updating it, but I have to bring ammo/screenshots u_u), she's a Libra (ok so far so good, also Nanako is a Libra, ironically, also Nanako is in 1st grade iirc), and she's.....9. HuH? Wut?

Apparently P3P will list her as 9 years old. Specifically on the TV missing person announcement..... Which I do vaguely recall them mentioning her on the TV, I don't remember the age they mentioned. ;w; So I'll need to double check that.

Anyway this is a problem, because it doesn't make sense/add up, and contradicts the line about being a 2nd grader (fun fact: if you clicked the link above, Maiko is born the same year as Futaba, but Futaba should be a year ahead of her....tho iirc P5S states Futaba's been held back a year? So now they are ironically in the same grade? TT0TT). 1st graders in Japan are generally 6->7, and 2nd graders are 7->8, 3rd 8->9, 4th 9->10, 5th 10->11 and so on! So Maiko can't be a 2nd grader and 9 unless she was held back....which the OG text doesn't indicate. But if she WAS 9, she'd be either a 3rd or 4th grader (Ken is 5th grade). I'd have to check, but I coulda sworn she was much smaller than Ken (who would only be a grade or 2 above her).

Fun fact she goes missing (assuming the websites are correct) around 10/21. I'd have to look at the timing of the news broadcast, but that would mean she we missing 1) a little while after her birthday (between a few weeks to literally yesterday) , 2) it was on her birthday (;w;), 3) it was the day before her birthday (;w;)

Because of that ONE day, it's hard to tell if it's saying she JUST turned 9, or is actually about to turn 10.

Her birthday, if the 2nd grader thing is correct (along with the Libra thing), she'd be turning 8 in 2009. So 2009-8=2001! So her birthday should be c. September 23-October 22, 2001 (she'd be 14->15 in P5 but 15 in P5S. Futaba for ref turned 15 before P5 started and turned 16 near the end of P5, and is 16 in P5S)

If the 3rd grade theory is correct, the the birthday would be: c. September 23-October 22, 2000 (this would put her in the same year as Futaba, assuming Futaba didn't drop out originally)

If the 4th grade theory is correct (assuming she hadn't had her birthday): September 23-October 22, 1999 (this would put her in the same year as P5MC/Anne/Ryu/Yusuke, for reference on Ken, Ken is in the same grade as Goro/Mako/Haru).

The fandom Wiki seems to be going for the latter two (if you read the hovered note).

Personally? I think P3P just.......made a mistake (people like the bring up "Atlus can't math" a lot esp with that one thing with P4, so it's not that far fetched). That OR (which I think is funnier and more tragic TT0TT). Her parents reported her age wrong. ajskdflj;f

I mean, they are in the middle of (or just finished their) divorce. They are both a taaaaaad bit neglectful since they don't realize Maiko's been hanging out with a high schooler for so long (as well as planning to run away). So I wouldn't be surprised if they fucked up the reporting lkajfdsljfaka So it might not be a Persona 3 (Portable) Problem, but a .....Persona Parent problem! ;D

ANYWAY, this is something I wanna keep an eye out when I replay the P3 games (along side when I'm playing P3R). So expect a sequel post.

https://www.tumblr.com/icyfox17/732990632196521984/anyway-yeah-gus-its-kinda-silly-cuz-hes

BAHAHAHAHA feltt

in my head, anybody born >4y before our birth year is old, and anybody 2+ years after us is young... cuz it's like when i was in gr8, anybody already graduated is old. but 2y+ is young bc my cousin is 2y younger.

1y younger im iffy ab bc idt id wanna date smo younger than me,,, but the emotional maturity must be there so i make exceptions. same for older,,, like max ill go is the latter half of my sister's birth year bc we were both born in earlier months so i wouldn't wanna date anybody that could date my sister jf that eben makes fucking sense??? ill just hit send now...

YEAHHHH I get that nods nods

God dating anyone my sister's age UGH or even my brother... It's so weird bc like. Irl I'm like anyone who's 2 or more years younger than me I'm like BABYYYY TINY TINY BABYYY but then like ?? A lot of my online friends are that young and it's such a whiplash everytime I find out ESP when they're my brother's age likeeeee weirdddd HDKGKFK but also y'know the older we get the less the age gap matters (for like tiny ones, and obvi it matters MORE if they're a minor and ur talking about dating lmaooo but friendship wise)

Age is such a weird thing lol

sorry to keep coming back here lmaojgkdflhf but i started rewatching (bits and pieces of) mann mayal this past week and like. what a phenomenon. was the plot horrible. yes. did it drive all of us crazy with the melodrama. absolutely. is the fact that it was the note ayesha khan decided to end her career on kind of hysterical. i certainly think so. but something about it was nonetheless so enrapturing. the direction and music production definitely contribute to that but i also think for whatever all of the mess was on top i really was transfixed by mannu's narrative arc. like it was powerful! obv it was easy to get caught up in all of the fine details and chastise mannu for her brashness or stupidity but the point was that she had always had decisions taken for her her entire life. to see a female character so stubborn and possessive about her right to make her own decisions regardless of whatever anyone else with "sense" had to say about them bc her agency was that important to her in a societal context of women's oppression.. it was incredibly liberating! and i hate to bring the fairy tale comparisons back but i think esp in contrast to the latter it was empowering bc post time skip salahuddin was in every aspect The Ideal Guy. he cared about mannu, he bantered with her, he protected her, he was eager to guide her, etc. but that was precisely the problem, bc everything was about his protectiveness over her rather than a respect for her ability to make her own decisions and chart her own life path. to see her refuse to succumb to his will to the very end, the very end! the fact that he had to accept that he could not make her decisions for her and that to be let back into her life again she would have to be absolutely convinced he would respect her agency and desires! just, wow. that final scene in the last episode truly takes my breath away. sameera fazal makes me want to bash my head into a wall with how ridiculous her plots are but i can't lie that i do love the undercurrent themes in a lot of them. it makes me wonder what she'd do with a story if creating melodrama to get views wasn't such a necessity

I've been saying this for YEARS that Mannu was a far stronger character than people gave her credit for. I do blame the direction for literally bahaoing all of Mannu's strengths in the oceans of tears that she was made to shed in every fucking episode. beneath it all, Mannu as a person was just so staunchly protective of her OWN agency that really she can give many characters a masterclass in how to own their destiny. yeah sure, a deeper conversation about whether an agency that is purely masochist an agency worth celebrating can be held here. but there's no denying that Mannu's agency EXISTS. we cannot say the same about so many of the female protagonists. #MannuProtectionSquad!!

I do think Samira Fazal would make a much better short drama writer. Her basic plots are always fun. she just tends to lose the plot when she has to write 30+ episodes of it. which is what happened with Mann Mayal. which is what happens to ANY of her dramas. do you know Shukk? uska bhi yehi haal hua tha. i really enjoyed that drama in its first half and then toh phir toh too much hi hogaya.

Mann Mayal aired at the perfect time which is why the show enjoyed the blockbuster popularity it did. I am thankful it didn't air at the time when armchair "critics" were running their mouths mindlessly criticizing every project on air just to churn out an hour worth of content twice a week. social media trolled and celebrated the drama. Hamza Ali Abbasi was THE darling of the awaam and Maya got to enjoy a peak with Mannu that I am afraid she won't get to enjoy again in any other character. despite all the rubbishness..the show just worked. it didn't bother with giving any social message or sensationalizing for the sake of having a shock value. it was a melodrama, plain and simple, and fully committed itself to the genre. however, years later, the show still contains some moments of sheer brilliance that have not been tainted by time. in fact, I think now is a very good time to go back and watch Mann Mayal with an open mind. with no trolling to distract us or the long wait of a week between episodes to exhaust, and the entirety of the plot easily available on wikipedia to read..Mann Mayal becomes a show that should be watched to appreciate the technical finesse with which it handled some of the show's pivotal moments as well as to finely study the characterization of its very grey protagonists, flaws and virtues all at once.

CHARACTER INFO SHEET

tagged by: @zangyo tagging: anyone!! steal it n tag me ! :3

Name: Sasume Oshima

Name meaning: Oshima ("大島") literally means 'big island'. Sasume ("さすめ") is written with hiragana and has no inherent meanings.

Alias: Hawthorne (verse dependent, often a moniker in her mercenary-adjacent verses but otherwise a flower associated with her); mayflower/May-chan

Ethnicity: Half-white (paternal), half-Japanese (maternal)

THREE HEADCANONS YOU’VE NEVER TOLD ANYONE:

Trick question since I talk abt my muses sm and I've had them so long (triply so for Sa) but I'll do my best--!! o7

She has multiple and specific nervous/stressed habits [esp wrt interacting with others]! There's fiddling with her bangle (more overt/self-conscious nerves) and also running a hand through/tugging+ at the back of her hair (more 'aggressive'/general nerves)

There's multiple nicknames she has for her sister! "Shishi" (more obvious) and also "Shudderbug" (inspired by when Shida was a baby and would bungle her own name)

Her gloves have padding in the palms so she can make and use fists while using Third without cutting up her hands!

THREE THINGS YOUR CHARACTER LIKES DOING IN THEIR FREE TIME:

A! Horrifically good question! Because Sa is Sa and is allergic to "downtime" and is always keeping herself busy in the most utilitarian ways she can manage, but!!

Singing! :') She used to do it a whole lot for her sister, as well as her own amusement. Since leaving home, though, mostly just for her sister (or children in need of comfort) — and what she does for herself she tries to keep to when she's the utmost of privacy.

In (relatively!) contemporary settings or the like where medias more accessible — reading (especially to help with her literacy) and movies/TV. They're mediums that engage multiple senses (in the latter, audio and visual, and in the former, the words themselves and imagining them), and so are the least likely to have her getting distracted and enable her to be left to her own thoughts. It's for this reason she's not keen on music by itself, but the reverse is why she's not fond of video games— the specific and unique ways they're interactive are very likely to leave her frustrated and more stressed/anxious than before.

Nature!! Whether it's sitting out in the rain and/or woods, or just fussing over domestic pets :') She loves them yk

(Bonus since it's so obvious and arguably work-ish: but she loves sparring! She's a jock and its a very good way to bond with and get to know people— without risking her fucking it up with her poor social skills.)

SIX PEOPLE YOUR CHARACTER LIKES/LOVES:

Her sister!! Would do anything and everything for her !! Baby girl!!! (Pay no attention to how there's only four years between them)

Sarah (her godmother/'aunt')

Her mom

Her dad (derogatory)

Tomas (double derogatory)

Insert your muse here--

TWO THINGS YOUR CHARACTER REGRETS:

The IncidentTM that pushed her to finally leave her hometown :'))) She blames herself for it in every capacity, and to this day considers herself (if anything) a fugitive or the like rather than an actual victim. "If it were not for me, it wouldn't have happened, and so it's completely my fault."

Her Bad YearsTM after she left home (from a few months before thirteenth birthday to the ballpark of ~sixteen and a half, so better part of four years). She blames herself for it because she struggles to acknowledge her abuse, yes, and also moralizes her mental health issues (i.e., see: her severe survivor's guilt and savior complexes)— but primarily because of how she 'failed' her sister. It's always been her job to take care of and provide for Shida, and during that time not only was she unable to properly support her, but Shida had to look after her instead. It's something she refuses to forgive herself for, particularly since she only broke out of it when Shida's life was endangered (which, of course, is something Sasume also blames herself for).

(Another bonus, since the other two are consecutive events: Not asking more questions of or learning more about her parents, especially her mother, when they were around. :') She didn't get much time with them, and even if she couldn't have known it nor been able to properly 'plan' for it at such a young age, she wishes she'd done more and learn more about them while she was able to. Notably, this regret can become far darker when 'the Oshima Plot' and resulting mysteries and skeletons in her parents' history are an active concern.)

TWO PHOBIAS YOUR CHARACTER HAS:

Being PercievedTM en masse, i.e. with crowds. She has a fear of crowds, yes, but that itself is rooted in the concept of said crowd turning its attention on her :')

Even with her comedic pain tolerance and catalogues of wound history she is... very bad with receiving burn wounds. Heat and superficial burns (i.e. leave little to no lasting mark even in the short term) are fine, but when they're good and proper WOUNDS? She's suffering, thanks.

Ok sorry to do this again despite admitting I don't know shit the first time (I'm the "isn't it both" anon) but I had some more thoughts.

So, even tho being ex eastern bloc is defo relevant for certain analyses of current situations, I don't think it should play too hard into tryna determine whether a country you aren't from can be considered eastern Europe (tho i think it's valid to bring into it if it's about your own country probably? I am not a politically versed person) and one of the reasons I say this is that my mum is from Saxony which was part of the GDR.

The family had been preparing to leave for years and eventually did so a few months before reunification (kinda hilarious tbh) and I myself grew up in (former) western germany (tho i was born years after reuni anyway) so I never lived in the GDR or even in any former GDR states myself but my mother has always shared a lot of stories but that's besides the point.

And like... nobody is calling the ex GDR states (let alone germany as a whole) eastern Europe. There's even ppl who consider us western Europe (I think we're pretty firmly central but tbh western vs central as a distinction isn't as important (bc I do know central vs eastern carries a lot more weight n stuff) so I don't really care) despite part of our country having been eastern bloc. So when people (specifically non ex eastern bloc folks, you're obviously fine) use it as an argument it feels hypocritical.

And obviously ex GDR states had the support of other german states so it was much easier for them to recover but imo the modern day economics are way closer to helping determine whether a country is eastern Europe? Not geographically obvs but in my mind (feel free to correct me) eastern european is kinda like asian in that it shouldn't be an important distinction going by geography but in terms of politics and dynamics and stuff it very much is and it matters.

Like, eastern europeans, at least within Europe, dunno how true it is elsewhere, are kinda oppressed? Like, if I meet a western european (esp an english person) they're prolly not gonna be xenophobic to me when I tell them where I'm from but if I was like Belarusian or something, they might. And then there's the economic stuff and also like social progression.

I've heard a lot about eg LGBT rights in Hungary and stuff like that and no shade or anything ofc, especially to the LGBT ppl living there such as (i think?) yourself and the other Hungarians I follow, but it does feel a lot less progressive.

Things aren't perfect here either or anything but they're getting better, we've had marriage equality for same sex couples (not (all) nb or intersex ppl tho) for over half a decade, forced trans sterilisation was declared unconstitutional 12 years ago and we're finally getting that self-determination bill put into place next year and then I can get that d. D stands for diverse in this case, it's our third legal gender (tho we also have "none", none gender can't get married)

Meanwhile transitioning in Hungary was outlawed three years ago and there's plenty of other countries where it's still a struggle and all in all it just feels kinda... distinct? Like how scandinavian (or nordic in general) countries feel like they're on a different economic and societal level from us(excl), the latter especially in regards to sexism, education and incarceration but also other stuff.

Obvs there's always so many factors but it's always felt to me like they were, forgive me for simplifying, the "higher" tier of europeans in at least those areas compared to my life in central Europe. Grass is always greener somewhere I guess. But I'm gonna get back on track.

So even tho geographically it's hard to argue that Hungary isn't central Europe, I think it might be politically. And it's not the only country that feels like this to me, like eg Romania is geographically southeast but politically I personally view it as firmly eastern tho obvs I'm no authority.

Anyway, sorry this got so long lmao I have not been awake for long yet and my brain's a little squished lol. Hope this wasn't a completely useless read, sorry if it was. Keep on keeping on 👍

Oh hi i got scared for a sec when i saw that i got a whole block of text. I'm not really up to politics talk rn, but what you're saying makes a lot of sense to me!! Though i havent seen anyone consider romania central before, i've always thought of the border between us as the edge of central europe. Probably because of the timezone difference ngl

Vivienne, Fiona, and why their Redcliffe interaction SUCKS for Fiona

Currently thinking about: how Vivienne speaks to Fiona and what that looks like in the wider context of how we know people treat Fiona. 

Vivienne has two lines of dialogue that will come up when meeting with Fiona in ‘In Hushed Whispers’ - the first (at 0:15) is pretty reasonable (if Vivienne-standard levels of pointed/rude), commenting on how Fiona looks terrible, but the second (at 1:11) stands out to me.

Vivienne, when confronted with the knowledge that the rebel mages have sworn themselves into the service of the Tevinter Imperium, tells Fiona that her “dementia is showing.” Brushing aside everything I feel about casual, crude references to dementia (seriously, fuck non-serious depictions of or references to dementia), this is cruel, and especially so in Fiona’s specific context.

This line implies not only that Fiona has made a bad choice (which she has! One she doesn’t know the extent of and one she made in desperation, but that’s a whole other topic), but that she has forgotten why it’s not a good choice, that she is unsound to lead because she is unsound in mind.

This is immensely and monumentally disrespectful to Fiona. Now, I don’t know if Vivienne knows Fiona’s particular history (prior to the emergence of her magic, Fiona was a slave for seven years, from age 7-14. Fiona mentions in The Calling that she never tells anyone about it, but a lot of things have changed for her since then - it’s possible Vivienne is being either knowingly or unknowingly cruel here), but that’s not the point.

Fiona is smart. Vivienne might not think much of her, but Fiona is resourceful, intelligent, and a very quick thinker. She also has decades (likely at least one before she joined the Wardens, and then at least two and a half more after she left them) of Circle education and work, including making her way to the head of Circle politics. The point is: Fiona knows what the Tevinter Imperium is. She knows what slavery is. She knows exactly what that means for her as! An! Elf! Who has experienced slavery!!

Vivienne’s comment is therefore spiteful and incredibly cruel. Anyone with any sense (which Vivienne has in buckets) knows this isn’t a choice made lightly. She knows Fiona is perfectly, 100% aware of what this means - and she chooses to rub it in with something Fiona is intimately aware of (more on this momentarily): a suggestion that she has no idea what’s going on.

It’s possible to argue that Vivienne is referring to the Inquisitor having met Fiona in Val Royeaux, something Fiona likely experienced but has no memory of due to timeline fuckery (thanks, Alexius) - this makes the comment make more sense, but doesn’t minimise its cruelty, so bear with me as I explain why.

Fiona is referenced twice in DA2, in weapon descriptions that the vast majority of players will not read - Duncan’s axe, named after Fiona, and Kell’s bow (Kell is a Warden only in The Calling). The latter is pertinent here - the note left with the description of the Longbow of the Avvars, includes this section:

Her [Fiona’s] tales of this "darkspawn who speaks" must be a product of a fevered imagination.

The events of The Calling have three survivors: Maric (not a Grey Warden, and seemingly never asked to relay his version of events to the Wardens), Duncan (at the time of The Calling, the most junior Grey Warden in the Order in Orlais, but when the note was written in 9:20 he had been Commander in Ferelden for almost a decade), and Fiona. The Wardens, in the period between the final chapter and epilogue (~a year), get Duncan and Fiona’s testimony of a phenomenon that has never been known before (intelligent Darkspawn), send investigators… and later conclude that Fiona’s account specifically, with no mention of Duncan’s, is complete nonsense. She made it up, she dreamed it, she imagined it.

Fiona is shown, throughout The Calling (esp towards the beginning), to be sensitive to challenges to her knowledge, ability, and experiences. She’s particularly angry about the dismissal of her concerns about Maric (completely reasonable, given the combination of his less than stellar presence + her past experiences with nobility), her knowledge of the Fade (in response to Maric dismissing that dreams could ever mean anything), and others’ prejudice towards elves and mages.

She also refers, during Inquisition, to how she was glad to see the back of the Wardens because they began to resent her seemingly complete immunity to the taint. The Wardens didn’t like her. And they did the one thing she already hated most - dismissing her ability to actually know things.

When Vivienne speaks of how her “dementia is showing” in Redcliffe, it reads as an established jab. A trait Fiona has already been assigned, derogatorily, to suggest that her capacity to lead has faded and will only continue to do so. It is the kind of disparaging comment against her understanding of the world that Fiona has been enduring since at least her 20s (most likely, though her age is never stated beyond describing herself as old in Inquisition, by which point she’s probably at least in her 50s).

Tldr (I feel you, this is so long): Vivienne’s comment towards Fiona not only dismisses her personal experiences and knowledge but also forms a part of the consistent invalidation of Fiona’s mental capacity that has plagued her for most of her life.

what do you think klave would get up to if they stayed in the 60s?

aaaah it's been three years of tua and this is still one of my favorite things to think about!! there are a bunch of fics esp from the first season break that get into this and i love them all. like, it's such a good setup - if you put like any other sibling in the past, they start Doing Things that steer the timeline, but i think it's plausible with klaus's powers and personality to have him exist through historical moments and use his future knowledge to make things better for people on a smaller scale. they're both good kinds of time travel stories, but i personally have more fun reading and writing the latter, especially when it's fanfic and i already care about the characters more than the world around them

which does not actually answer your question lmao that's just my treatise on why people should write more klaus stays fics UM LET ME SEE. i genuinely do really love all the possibilities people have come up with, and i can see it going a lot of different ways, but the one i rotate in my brain the most is klaus getting dave stateside and immediately taking him to san francisco like listen baby u gotta trust me this is the place for us to be. and it's not paradise or anything, it'd be hard for them no matter where they went, but i think klaus would want to make their life somewhere he knew dave could feel relatively free to be himself. and like not to get too bleak but klaus would also know that the next few decades were going to be a tough time for gay men, so i think he'd want to be somewhere they'd have a community, and that dave could feel useful and help people

basically i think they'd have a great gay time, dave would kiss guys while klaus did the amy poehler mean girls camcorder dance in the background, they would sort of quietly encourage their friends to use condoms, klaus would do a lot of drugs and dave would do a little bit of drugs, and then suddenly they're in their late 30s and already outliving people, which they knew was coming, but it's a lot different in practice than it is in theory, and maybe klaus's decades of substance abuse are catching up with him in ways he can't write off, and it's still a miracle when both of them actually sleep through the night, and they love each other more every day but that's not always as fun as it used to be

so dave goes to nursing school and klaus goes to rehab entirely of his own volition. they get a little house so they can put friends up who need somewhere to sleep. dave gets a clinic job, klaus hops between part-time gigs and takes care of their house full of people - young people, mostly, people who just need a chance to get their feet under them, and who sometimes (jokingly, klaus is sure) call him and dave dad. dave gets into advocacy, and also gets a therapist. klaus goes to rehab again. they go to therapy together. there are dozens of teenagers who are safer for having known them, hundreds of patients who realized they could talk to dave about their most private fears without being judged or treated like walking contagions. they get like embarrassingly good at talking about their problems. they have the spectacular sex you can only unlock when you've spent half your adult life with someone. they get a cat. life is good

Hello Charity, I hope I found you doing well. I wanted to catch you before you go on your break because I've been going in circles for the past couple weeks now and it's tiring. Ideally I'd just take a step back and focus on something else but alas, for all my short attention span I also sure know how to hyperfocus on any issue I have to work out. I got your book last May and was hit in the face by a train: I previously thought of myself as some TP type, but your Fi dom chapter was like having my internal narrator captured on paper. A half satisfying ("YES, finally someone gets me!!!"), half spooky experience, really. I also saw a lot of myself on the Te chapter, so I had to admit I had been very off trail with my typing so far. The book also confirmed I am a high Se user, so I was glad I had at least gotten that right. The only issue is that I still can't tel if I'm an ISFP or ESFP.

Initially I thought for sure ISFP since the Fi dom chapter resonated so much. But then I realized that was a catch: the Te inferior part felt mostly off. I then thought that the reason was probably due to enneagram (I'm a 3). Maybe that's why I don't resent or resist external systems, I embrace then as helpful and necessary because they lead to efficacy and competency. [...] The low certainty about a Ni doom scenario generation during stress though, that hit home perfectly. I can vividly recall instances of that happening years ago. So I thought: what if I'm an ESFP instead? They are more often 3s than IFPs, right? Trouble is I'm seldom impulsive at all, I don't have the "Just do it, everything's gonna work out somehow" mindset. I'm the type who really researches and wants to know what I'm getting into, I really think before taking most decisions. The exception of course are crisis and emergencies, which I do excel at. I have a very rapid response time, but I don't know if it's because most ESFPs both in fiction and online seem to be 7s, but I feel like Se doms are just so trusting and I'm not. I also had such a strong and long lasting issue with insecurity, so much so I self sabotaged many times and didn't take opportunities because I was sure I was gonna fail at them, and be seen as a fraud. That idea terrified me so much I kept myself from living life to the fullest since I never knew how to just try things with no expectations. 

Sorry for the length, but Id like your advice on how to tell which is my actual type.

The fact that you resonated so hard with Fi-dom, with Se (but not with leaping in before you look), and with low Ni probably means you are an ISFP with Te development due to your Enneagram type. But the main indicator is that ESPs find themselves through experiences, whereas ISPs judge experiences before having them. It sounds like you do the latter and are careful not to leap into anything, whereas an ESP 3 would be adapting to the environment on-the-go.

I'm an ENFP and a 6, and that neuters the ENFP-ness somewhat in terms of I never jump into anything without seriously thinking about it first. I could mistake myself for an introvert because of that -- but I do not relate to Fi-dom chapters. I figure out who I am and what I think by exposing myself to things / ideas / experiences in order to land on my location, which is what an EFP does. IFPs just "know." So you might want to think about whether you "just know" what you think and feel about something, or if it's a gradual discovery that comes from outside stimulus.

Certain Enneagram types (fear-based types, or competency-based types) are going to cause a feeler to lean more on their thinking functions to be more efficient and/or logical and/or safe, but this can also cause them to assume their thinking functions are "better" than they are -- until they are dealing with an actual thinker, and then they see that their organizational skills are "less." If the only thing keeping you from ISFP is that you seem to use Te more, you're an ISFP. If Fi-dom fits, Se aux fits, and tert-Ni fits, the answer is ISFP. :)

ok girlie i got u covered: 15 (cus i know u struggled w/ that one oliver fic), 21, 23, 34, 43 (this is v targeted towards sae), 45, and 64. anyways hope that cures ur boredom! take care of urself bby ♡

Omg hahaha thank u for this!! I love rambling on and on u know me so well <3

15. How do you write smut scenes? Do you get very visual or detailed? How important is it to be realistic?

Lol 😭 That damn Oliver fic. It may never see the light of day to be honest. I sort of black out every time I write smut. I don’t even know how to classify it and I do Not want to go back to see what I did. In the moment though I feel like I tend to make it more visual and about the feelings rather than go into the physical aspects of everything. And realism is only important when I want it to be… though I feel like the smut I’ve written thus far isn’t really unusual compared to what is out there…

21. Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story?

I’d love to but I feel like I would be the worst co-author on the planet LOL. I only ever write when I get in the mood so I’d be terrible with meeting deadlines. I could probably try to reach them but my work would probably not be as good as I’d want it to be at that point.

23. Best writing advice for other writers?

I am literally an idiot when it comes to writing anything so I feel like a fraud giving other people advice when I feel like I could definitely use some myself 😭.. but.. I don’t know.. I think one thing that has helped me grow as a writer would just be reading more literature. Not even necessarily fiction. I like nonfiction novels, Hooks comes into mind esp when it comes to learning abt the human condition.

At the end of the day, reading from other writers will help you grow your own writing I think. At least that is what has helped me be more creative with the directions I take my projects in.

34. Five years from now, where do you see yourself as a writer?

Omg five years from now I’ll be 25. I like to think I’d probably still be writing here and there. I’ve been writing stupid fanfiction since I was 12 and even when I’ve gone on a pretty long hiatus I always come back to writing in the end… hm.. idk.. I like to think if not writing fanfiction I will still be writing stories on the train </3

43. Do you take a sadistic joy in whumping your characters, or are you more the "If you hurt them I would kill everyone and then myself" kind of person?

I don’t think I feel the latter for any character That much. I also don’t purposely explore the former lololl. Idk. I just like picturing them in love because it’s one of the most gripping emotions we feel… I like to study their character through such a lens. And being in love/pursuing it can be considered a form of punishment if you’re like half the characters I like writing about. So… if anything.. they (Sae) bring(s) it upon themselves (himself)

45. Do you want to break your readers‘ heart or make them laugh?

Loll I enjoy making them feel a plethora of emotions! I don’t think I have much experience with making people laugh through my writing though. Idk as long as I made you feel something is enough for me :)

64. Something you love to see in smut.

Uwah. I’m not in the proper mindset to answer this question. Since I write self-insert… I would say… I really like it when the character’s feelings are also detailed alongside the reader’s. Not just as a secondary reference. I also enjoy it when soft instances like hand holding, a kiss on the cheek/neck are laced within the pure debauchery lololl… really gets me going.