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#kat planet’s klave hour
gatoplanet · 1 year
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do you have any klave headcanons for halloween?
they do couple costumes, but weird ones. soap and a loofah. a foreign film and subtitles. nietzche and the abyss. sometimes they get super lazy abstract and do like, thoughts and prayers. they show up to ali's halloween party one year dressed as sperm and an iud and ali is like you people are so fucking lucky claire already knows where babies come from (diego and lila are an egg and a condom respectively, it's a group costume)
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gatoplanet · 2 years
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would you ever write a fic about that potential threesome between klave and the guy at vietnam?
listen i don’t wanna make any concrete promises bc i have so many things to finish already but the mental image that ask gave me ……….. it was vivid
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gatoplanet · 2 years
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Hey! I was thinking. We know the Dave Klaus met in 63 is not the same Dave he fell in love in 68, but I have a theory for you.
In season 3 Klaus meets his mother in the void and she tells him that she's been watching him. She's the one who tells him that he died 56 times, right? But the thing is, the mother who died in this timeline never got to have her child. So how does she know about Klaus and about what he lived in the previous timeline?
What I came up with is that 1 the void doesn't work in the same way time works erasing what happened when the timeline changes and 2 maybe she got to merge herself with the soul of the last Rachel, who knew she had a son.
So, by analogy, we could say the same could've happened to Dave63 and Dave68. So imagine how that boy from 63 suddenly knows that that hippie who spoke to him was telling the truth as soon as he dies. Imagine how the man from 68 now knows Klaus tried to save him even if that meant they would never meet. Imagine now they are a whole combo of those two man in just one soul in the Void.
Now guess what happens when they meet again, for now Klaus would be able to really meet Dave again.
ps: I really like your stories <3
i read this three times and had to lie down. 10/10 no notes, STEVE ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION
i love stories that deal with all the weirdness of retcon and time travel by treating all versions of a person as parts of one like, vast unknowable whole being, and i think that’d fit with tua so well thematically!! aaaaah i try not to get my hopes up for the actual canon of ongoing shows but this would be so cool
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gatoplanet · 2 years
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do you think brian suspected dave was gay?
oh with his quickness getting dave to be physically violent toward klaus, absolutely. and honestly with the type of guy the brian scenes are evoking to me, i doubt dave ever had to give him a concrete reason other than ‘is relatively quiet and nice’ or like ‘was not best in his class at sports’ or some shit; dave actually being seen in public having a conversation with a visibly not straight person was probably nightmare mode for brian. like, i forget this a lot of the time, but the diner in that scene is full of other people who are just trying to eat their food?? brian’s having dave publicly, aggressively demonstrate his heteronormativity for Optics, which has the dubious extra benefit of showing dave exactly how many people are going to help or stick up for someone like klaus (none, it’s none many people). i’m sure brian sees that as an important lesson ):
but that’s also an extra layer of sweet and sad re: dave making the trip to the compound imo - it’s klaus’s turf, sure, but it’s also not exactly private, and being seen there probably could’ve gotten dave in even deeper shit, except brian already signed his life away, so dave doesn’t really have anything to gain or lose anymore, he just wants to apologize because that’s the right thing to do. i love him so much
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gatoplanet · 1 year
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do you think dave has ever yelled at klaus during a fight? if so, how would klaus react?
i don’t think dave shouts when he’s frustrated, but i do think he’d shout if he was scared, so it depends on what they’re fighting about imo. if they’re arguing about dishes getting left in the sink, dave might get exasperated, maybe even raise his voice a little, but ultimately he’s a chill guy and it’s not that serious. if it was a fight where dave felt like one or both of their safeties was on the line, though, and especially if dave feels like klaus isn’t understanding what the problem is - he’s never proud of it afterwards, but he’ll absolutely panic in the moment and shout trying to get a point across.
for klaus, i think getting yelled at has historically been his cue to stop arguing and start appeasing, and that’s what happens early on with dave, when they’re still figuring each other out. but seeing klaus flip that switch and start trying to placate him is even more upsetting to dave than whatever they were originally dealing with, which is not something klaus has ever run into before, and then dave hugs him and apologizes for shouting, which is also new?? it’s not the last time dave shouts, or the last time klaus tries to capitulate instead of actually solving a problem, but they get better at recognizing those fights for what they are, which is dave worrying and klaus wanting him to feel better
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gatoplanet · 2 years
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who do you think fell first? Klaus or Dave?
i say dave, but that's just because he knew what was happening first lmao. i think he'd had Feelings For Men before and never acted on them, whereas klaus had been In Love with approximately one hundred people and also no one. it was easy for dave to let himself feel deeply for klaus because he knew nothing was going to come of it, and by the time something did come of it (it was them, they came) it was too late and dave was like, welp. guess i'm in love with this dude. okay
meanwhile klaus is very emotionally intelligent but he also views himself the way one might view a lego that they left on the floor and then stepped on, so he was over like haha wow these are the best hookups i've ever had and it's gross sweaty jungle dick, i wonder what's going on there. and then dave told him he loved him and he made this fuckin face,
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thank you robert, and he handled it all very well and definitely didn't have a crisis after dave fell asleep
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gatoplanet · 2 years
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If Dave met luther he would be so excited to hear everything luther has to say about the moon and luther would be so happy to have someone that wants to listen to him
absolute nerdfest, i believe it in my heart. i feel bad for luther lmao everyone he knows is too used to Weird Shit, you gotta have someone to be impressed by your relatively pedestrian superpower shenanigans now and then!! sometimes that person is your beautiful floating wife and sometimes it’s your brother’s boyfriend from when he accidentally time traveled (the first time not the second time)
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gatoplanet · 2 years
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do you think klaus ever tried to steal one of allison’s boyfriends
tried?? TRIED???? what do you take him for, he stole all of allison’s boyfriends
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gatoplanet · 1 year
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do you think baby klaus was adorable?
every umbrella baby was the cutest baby you have ever seen, it's a lesser known side effect of alien sparkle dna. diego and lila's kid is gonna be a safety hazard
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gatoplanet · 1 year
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rank the hargreeves’ partners based on how close they would be to klaus?
oh shit i had to think abt this :0 preface, i think they'd all get along with klaus to some degree, because klaus is pretty easy to get along with when he wants to be, and imo if his siblings love someone he'll make an effort. but i do think he'd click with some more than others, so from casualest to closest:
5. dolores, they hit it off when they met but at the end of the day i don't know how much they'd really have to talk about
4. ray strikes me as being a lot more studied and level-headed than klaus is, and i think he and klaus would adore each other, but i don't know if they'd have the same kind of easy rapport that i see klaus falling into with some of the others. they're terrors when they get each other laughing though, you can hear them from the sidewalk
3. sloane is too sweet to go full ghoul mode with klaus but he'll gather her up in his arms and tuck her head under his chin, and they'll chat about whatever weird things they've had on their minds lately. she takes all of his shenanigans in stride, which does away with a lot of his instinctive urge to be a ham, so they have some nice genuine conversations
2. sissy and klaus would be two peas in a pod imo, like oh my god the shit they'd talk together. the two tiredest funniest gays you've ever seen. they sit on the balcony and do one (1) shot each at like 6pm on a wednesday and become deeply, deeply mean, but only to people who deserve it (exes)
1. lila and klaus. horrible. if they're together unmonitored for more than sixty seconds there will be no survivors. they smoke weed and put clay face masks all over their bodies to see if you can exfoliate every kind of skin. they lick each other's front teeth. klaus let lila microblade his happy trail because she thought it would be sexy and now he looks like he has a long pelvic caterpillar. they share all of their clothes, especially the things that only fit one of them. they are soulmates
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gatoplanet · 2 years
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do you have any klave with kids ideas/headcannons! Idk what it is but I feel like dave would be the perfect soccer dad and klaus would be the parent that says yk what fuck these homemade waffles, eggos never killed me.. (this is also very much my husband and I lmao)
!! i have two sets of klave kid headcanons and you get both of them
if they were in 2019 living amongst the hargreeveses, i think the whole family would be very it-takes-a-village with their children. they had a robot and a chimp to love them growing up, so by unspoken consensus all their kids have a million adults who think they’re the coolest tiny people to ever exist. i think klaus would be the last of the sibs to become a parent, though; he and dave have a great time uncling for a while, and then they start kind of looking at each other like ): every time they have to give the kids back. so when they’re in their 40s they either acquire babies who are The Babies, or they adopt kids who are around the same age as their niblings. either way they are extremely cool dads right up until their kids are around fourteen, and then they are embarrassing dads for a while, and then they’re cool again after that. i think they’d both get genuinely enthusiastic about their kids’ weird little child interests, but if an interest involved running around i think you’re absolutely right lmao klaus would last 10 minutes and then go sit in the grass and film their Precious Memories, which is just as important thanks very much, you’re going to want these .mov files someday david
if they stayed in the 70s/80s, i think they’d become parents by accident, and their children would be a rotating cast of queer teenagers who sleep in their house. i don’t think dave could bring himself to let a kid like him go without a roof, and klaus is like shit yeah let’s put these random babies up, i’m pretty sure that’s how everybody lives?? and after a few years they get a reputation as a safe place to go when your home decides it doesn’t want to be your home anymore. they have big cheap dinners in the living room every night and klaus and dave make sure everybody stays safe, and more and more 20-somethings in their city call them dad
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gatoplanet · 1 year
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do you think klaus told allison everything about his relationship with dave?
she seemed to know what he was talking about during the scene at the salon with viktor, so she got the basics somewhere along the line!! i don’t know how much of a chance they would’ve gotten in the timeline of the show apart from the morning at her house in the 60s, but i feel in my heart that klaus and ali have a long-standing tradition of discussing hotties, and they resurrected it over their little blender drinks. she got to hear about dave, he got to hear about ray - maybe less giggling than they did when they were fourteen, considering the circumstances, but i think it’d feel good for both of them to talk things out with one of the only other people in the world who might actually Get It
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gatoplanet · 2 years
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domestic klave for a poor boy
anything for you my son
i think that in the nice au where they get to do domesticity, it would sort of happen to them by accident?? dave would have the very nuclear family hetero image of what life with a committed partner is supposed to look like, and klaus doesn’t really even have that lmao - so suddenly one day they make eye contact on either side of the kitchen island where dave is making his morning coffee and klaus is rolling his morning joint, and they’re like, ???? what are we doing?? what is this. is this allowed
and like, oh god, there’s a late night diner within walking distance of their apartment that knows their order, they narrowed down a bread they both don’t hate so they could quit picking up two loaves that got moldy halfway through, there’s a mug in the sink and neither of them can remember who bought it. they have matching sweatpants because they were on sale?? they make plans specifically so they can both be home on thursday nights because that’s when a show they like airs?? one time dave said his shoulders hurt so klaus gave him a massage and it didn’t turn into sex
so there’s a brief mutual crisis, mostly because they’re happy and it’s not how either of them thought happiness was supposed to work. but they’re not really doing anything else the way they’re supposed to either, so as long as the happiness police don’t catch wind of them it’s probably fine
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gatoplanet · 1 year
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What are your thoughts on a Klaus on the ace spectrum? Maybe it's because I'm ace as well but I often see a disconnect between the way he talks and acts when it comes to sex. He's often portrayed as quite childlike an dorky, and the whole scene with Dave in the bar showed him surprisingly shy for someone who's done this for over a decade. While I love your headcanons I often find it difficult to imagine them with the way I see canon Klaus because of this.
oh yeah i can see it for sure!! i'm in the 'klaus is hypersexual as a trauma response' camp, but that's just my personal haute take, and also that's definitely not incompatible with ace klaus?? like, the few times we do hear about him having sex in canon, they're situations he's pretty disconnected from, and it would make sense for that to come down to a lack of actual attraction as much as anything else. it also makes sense for some of his nerves with dave to stem from crossing sex with romantic feelings for the first time, and not actually being sure what that looks like for him - i think that stays true whether or not klaus has the added conflict of his attraction to dave being different than what he thinks dave expects. i would read this fic, is what i'm saying
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gatoplanet · 1 year
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rank the hargreeves’ love interests based on how close the would be with Dave?
omg i love doing this, okay, least close to closest:
5. dolores, i mean they’ve had about the same amount of screentime, maybe they could bond over that
4. lila, i think dave is mystified and fascinated by her, and he respects her the way you respect tornadoes or other inexorable forces of nature. also he appreciates that she gives klaus Sexy Ideas To Try, because even when they’re objectively bad ideas, they’re at least funny. but i think if it was just the two of them in a room, he’d be privately mapping the exits. out of respect
3. sissy, and to be clear i think she and dave would get along super well!! but out of the three that are left, i think sissy has the driest sense of humor, and dave would have to be in a certain mood to really gel with it. he’s absolutely in that mood sometimes though. they have had kvetch sessions for the ages
2. sloane, she’s a very close second but i’m putting her here because as sweet and funny as she is, she still has a degree of distance from like, Normal Human Life, and i think they’d stumble over that occasionally. but oh my god they’d be such a cute duo, they have little lunch dates and try a new restaurant every time
1. ray and dave is a sacred combo to me, they have to set a timer when they start talking because otherwise they’ll just go until someone interrupts them. they could and would hash out a lot of heavy post-sixties trauma together, but like just from the few canon facts we have, we know they’re both nerds, and they’re both wife guys. i barely even have to extrapolate here. their double dates last for like five hours and klaus and ali aren’t even mad about it
and i just realized this is klaus’s list in reverse lmao uh, opposites attract i guess
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gatoplanet · 1 year
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since its klaus birthday, can you give us some headcanons of what dave would do for klaus’ birthday during vietnam please?
YOU BET I CAN so first of all i think klaus complains about sharing a birthday with his six siblings all the time but he only mentions the actual date once offhand in like, june. so klaus isn’t expecting much, he figures maybe he’ll remind dave day-of and they’ll do something fun up against a tree like they did for dave’s birthday. but dave committed that shit to memory like there was gonna be a pop quiz, and he slides klaus a little flower along with his coffee in the morning, and klaus is like, oh my god
and dave’s like okay i know you’re not technically exactly a year older than you were on 10/1/2018, time travel is complicated, but this is the day you’re gonna be born, so i think it’s still important, and i got you something. and klaus is like please yes, thinking he’s about to get smooched. and he does get the smooch, but i also love the idea of dave tracking down something practical that he noticed klaus would be able to use - maybe a new pair of boot laces that aren’t fraying at the ends, or a bandanna to keep klaus’s hair out of his forehead when he gets sweaty during the day. it’s not fancy, but it’s thoughtful
then it’s the potent combination of a) klaus misses his siblings, ofc he does, this was always something he shared with them even when they weren’t together, and b) klaus has probably never really celebrated his birthday in the traditional sense, and he’s definitely never had someone put time and thought into a gift for him just because they’re happy he got born. so there are maybe some tears. some emotions are expressed. dave doesn’t 100% believe that this is the best gift anyone’s ever gotten klaus in his life, but he’s glad he made klaus happy enough to say that
and then klaus is like oh my god all i got you for your birthday was head?? and dave is like well you’ll get another chance next year, also there’s a part two of my gift c’mere
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