jk rowling: wrote a childrens book series in the 2000s about a society of outcasts, which attracted a lot of queer fans because of its themes on acceptance. comes out as transphobic, tweets out "merry terfmas 😘," and proceeds to write a crime novel about a man who disguises himself as a woman to kill people

eoin colfer: wrote a childrens book series in the 2000s that he describes as "die hard but with fairies," which attracted a lot of queer fans because he accidentally gave his male protagonist a feminine name. is confused but supportive of his largely queer fanbase, leaves nice comments on trans artemis fanart, and proceeds to have one of the protagonists in the sequel series marry a ghost princess inhabiting the clone body of her evil uncle, which when she asks if its weird, the protagonist responds with “Maybe people would think you strange back in the olden days, but kids these days don’t care about stuff like insides and outsides matching”

I mean...this combination of depth and toilet humor is literally Shakespearean, so A+ for Eoin Colfer.

Captain Holly Short every time she has to deal with Artemis's bullshit (this boy ages her)

Was doing some digital art sketch practice and produced this.

If I had a nickel for every book about a smart 12-year-old using Santa Claus technology, with tech-elf side characters, mentally ill mother figures, dead dads, themes of loss, and magic ex machina taking place at Christmas time and written by Eoin Colfer, I'd have two nickels.

And somehow the books are foils of each other. Artemis would 100% be Juniper's nemesis if they lived in the same universe. Love that, love them.

Read Juniper's Christmas if you haven't, it's great.

i'm a late fan to the party but these books are so fun, Holly is so cool

Round 1, Poll 4: Artemis Fowl vs Wings of Fire

Artemis Fowl is a well-known series with a (albeit bad) movie adaptation, but Wings of Fire is experiencing a lot of success these days; it's anyone's game

Remember to reblog for a bigger sample size!

ah yes, artemis fowl books

the little shit bastard boy

the daddy issues incident

the your actions have consequences code

the remember this bitch deception

the some guy named piss colony

the little shit bastard boy two electric boogaloo paradox

the little shit bastard boy's dissociative complex

the little shit bastard boy's future existential crisis

Round 2 Poll 7

Artemis is the Greek goddess of the hunt, the moon, childbirth etc.

Iris is the Greek goddess of the rainbow. She's the messenger of Olympian gods.

Iris Sagan's stage name, A-set, comes explicitely from the Egyptian pronounciation of Isis.

Isis is the Egyptian goddess who was also worshipped by Romans. She's a healer, a magician and a metamorph and brought her husband back to life.

vote YES if you have finished the entire book.

vote NO if you have not finished the entire book.

(faq · submit a book)

Book poll round 3 #1

Butler was torn. His duty was to protect Artemis, not Minerva, but through years of working with Artemis and, indeed Holly, he had unconsciously adopted the role of general protector. Whenever somebody was in danger, he helped them to get out of it.

Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony - Eoin Colfer

"I'm gonna kill Santa Claus" is so Artemis book 1.

Honestly I love this for Artemis!

Summary: Two months after his father disappeared into the Arctic and one week after the damnable lemur incident, Artemis Angeline Fowl II cut his hair, burned his dresses, and began studying fairy tales. To get what you want, you have to give everything else up first. And Artemis Fowl has always been willing to sacrifice it all to get what he wants.

Author: @yellowocaballero

Note from submitter: @nymm-of-night

Today I discovered that Russian household spirits are called domovoi. As in Domovoi Butler. Is that mentioned in Artemis Fowl or did we all just breeze by that as a fandom?

Three of those things are scientific facts!