I thought the slavery season of Empire would be a huge downer but episode 1 is actually about how the pyramids, stonehenge, and Sumerian ziggurats (and canals and so on) weren't built by slaves, but essentially ran on the same system as getting your mates over to move furniture in exchange for pizza and beer.
Like we all know about the Drunkards of Menkaure, but the worker's town near the pyramids has animal remains clearly showing they ate lots of meat, far more than an Egyptian farmer would normally eat. And nearby Stonehenge they've found a similar settlement with lots of cooked pig bones. And Sumerian texts describe corvee labour as being a big party, like a barn raising or other working bee, where even the king was expected to pitch in and do his bit.
(Though of course part of the description was "The whip did not strike!" which implies that at other times, people were getting whipped.)
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From an incorrect quote generator
If Melody was a human tho
Phoebe: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE
Melody: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially
Phoebe, desperately, as Melody bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE
Melody: Oh! B positive.
Phoebe: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE
Melody:
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Phoebe: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming
Melody: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak
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Phoebe: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?
Melody, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons
Phoebe:
Phoebe: fsh
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Phoebe: So what's for dinner?
Melody, staring at the food she just burnt: Regret.
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Callie: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.
Phoebe: Mine just says "Phoebe no."
Callie: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.
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Trevor: Not elegant enough to be a vampire, not jock enough to be a werewolf...
Phoebe: Goblin it is.
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Trevor: My head hurts.
Phoebe: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.
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Computer: Please enter a password.
Phoebe: *types in Melody*
Computer: Your password is too weak.
Phoebe: How fucking DARE YOU-
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Phoebe: So what are your political beliefs?
Podcast: Well, I think Pikachu would be a lot more powerful if he had a gun.
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Callie: You spent all our money on THIS??
Gary, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside. They need this.
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Phoebe: Why are you on fire?
Melody: This is just how my day is going.
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Podcast: Change is inedible.
Phoebe: Don't you mean inevitable?
Podcast, spitting out coins: No, I did not.
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Phoebe: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.--
[translation: I’M SORRY]
Callie: What's that?
Phoebe: Remorse code.
Callie: I'm even angrier now.
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Phoebe: I don’t do relationships.
Melody: *exists*
Phoebe: Shit.
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Trevor: Kissing can burn 26 calories in a minute, wanna work-out with me? ;)
Lucky: Are you saying that I'm fat?
Trevor: No that's not what I meant I-
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Phoebe: Podcast... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Podcast: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Phoebe:
Phoebe: I wrote sanitize, Podcast.
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Callie, tending to Trevor’s wounds: How would you rate your pain?
Trevor: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.
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Peck: I'm going to ask you to be respectful.
Phoebe: I will politely decline.
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Podcast: I’m having one of those things! A headache with pictures!!
Phoebe: you mean an idea..?
Podcast: MMMMHHMMM!!
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Phoebe: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Trevor: You need to stop.
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Phoebe: How did none of you hear what I just said?
Callie: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Gary: I got distracted about halfway through.
Trevor: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
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If Melody was a human, again
Phoebe: HELP! I TOLD MELODY I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!
Trevor, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?
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Podcast: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
Phoebe: The car takes a screenshot.
Trevor: For the last time, get the fuck out.
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Gary, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him
Callie: You did WHAT–
Phoebe: William Snakepeare
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Trevor: You look nice, I want to kiss you.
Lucky: What?
Trevor: I SAID IF YOU DIED, I WOULDN’T MISS YOU.
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Gary: The best revenge, really, is being nice!
Podcast: [in the distance] Or murder.
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Gary: That’s one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut...
Callie: You would eat yourself?
Gary: I wouldn’t even question it.
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Phoebe: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO-
Melody: It was me...
Phoebe: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.
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