AUSTIN BUTLER and CALLUM TURNER in MASTER OF THE AIR (2024), part four

The way Terry Pratchett handled police in the Discworld continues to be one of the many, many things I love about his works. I certainly don’t have time to describe all the details of why he wrote such good policing, but I think the best summation of it is the arc that Sam Vimes had in many of the books.

I haven’t read all the watch books, but in the ones I have, there’s often a similar plot structure. We meet a truly detestable criminal Vimes is chasing down (think the Deep Downers in Thud, or Carcer in Night Watch). They show themselves to be truly awful people who do awful things, and they’re also just plain jackasses. They’re characters you hate to read about, the grind the audience’s gears. They also grind Sam Vimes’s gears. 

Throughout the story, they commit more and more crimes. Horrible crimes, like torturing and killing innocent people, or practicing violent religious extremism. They do things that personally target our protagonist, like go after his wife and son, or relentlessly taunt him and try to kill him and his past self. They consistently do bad things, and even as Vimes is chasing them, they do more bad things. You want them to be punished.  Finally, at the climax, we get some sort of final confrontation between the villain(s) and Vimes. In a different book, Vimes might kill the people who sent people to hurt his infant son, or tortured and killed innocent people, and the audience would probably cheer. In fact, Vimes wants to kill them. 

But he doesn’t. Every time, he suppresses the urge to enact his own justice, and he doesn’t kill them. He arrests them. Because, as he says many times, if you’ll do something for a good reason, you’ll do it for a bad. Even when there’s every excuse as to why this particular villain doesn’t deserve to live, he just arrests them. It’s not his job to decide how they should be punished for their crimes.

I think this is a masterful takedown of police brutality and Punisher style characters. Vimes isn’t a perfect person, it’s not that he could never dream of killing the bad guy. He can, and he does, often. But he never follows through, he understands why he can’t do that, so no matter how tempting it is, he doesn’t.

Because in this story, the hard boiled cynical cop truly believes in following the law. The message is always that law enforcement killing a criminal is never ok, even if they’re undeniably guilty of something truly dreadful. Hell, police brutality is personified as a millennia old demonic quasi-deity possessing Vimes, one that’s never been beaten before, but he beats it and doesn’t give in. I think that’s a really unique message in cop stories, and another reason as to why Pratchett was such a good author. 

Detritus stamped to attention beside Vimes and his salute clanged smartly off his helmet.

"What we doin' now, sir?"

"We can pack up now, I think. All the lads have joined up?"

"Yessir!"

"You told them it wasn't compulsory?"

"Yessir! I said, 'It ain't compuls'ry, you just gotta,' sir."

"Detritus, I wanted volunteers."

"'sright, sir. They volunteered all right, I saw to that."

Terry Pratchett, Jingo

extremely niche post but I'd pay all my money for a Betrayal in Ankh-Morpork board game. The three levels could be buildings, the streets and the shades and the playable characters could all be members of the watch

one of the event/omen cards could be called SAUSAGEINNABUN and you have to roll to see if it gives you +1 health, has no effect, or straight-up kills you

Prompts time! Had a couple requests for Lady Sybil! And then I added Vimes! And then it got rather romantic <3

I like to think this is just after they get back home, after some sort of official to-do (I imagine the helmet with plumes and the wig are discarded somewhere in a corner XD)

@stuffbyshelby2 and @koncussionkat, thanks for the Sybil prompts!

Annnd references: - for drawing no. 1 by @adorkastock - for drawing no. 2 by The Pose Archives

'You, er, want us to attack him?' said the guard miserably. Thick though the palace guards were, they were as aware as everyone else of the conventions, and when guards are summoned to deal with one man in overheated circumstances it's not a good time for them. The bugger's bound to be heroic, he was thinking. This guard was not looking forward to a future in which he was dead. 'Of course, you idiot!' 'But, er, there's only one of him,' said the guard captain. 'And he's smilin',' said a man behind him. 'Prob'ly goin' to swing on the chandeliers any minute,' said one of his colleagues. ' And kick over tables, and that.' 'He's not even armed!' shrieked Wonse. 'Worst kind, that' said one of the guards, with deep stoicism. 'They leap up, see, and grab one of the ornamental sword behind he shield over the fireplace.' 'Yeah,' said another, suspiciously. 'And then they chucks a chair at you.'

Guards!Guards! by Terry Pratchett

Cuddy helping Detritus realize he can count (and is actually a savant) is everything to me <3

Like petty criminals everywhere, the watchmen prided themselves that there were some depths to which they would not sink. There had to be some things below you, even if it was only mudworms.

-- Terry Pratchett - Night Watch

im thinking about the time divergent imps in jingo. i'm thinking about captain vimes hearing the death toll but most importantly i'm thinking about vimes lying on the cobbles in ank morpork hearing a strained bingley bingley beep and then- 'vetinari negotiates peace' and 'carrot organises football'. i'm thinking of all the bodies around him as this happens.

David Tennant as Crowley from Good Omens Season 2

for Tennant Tuesday (or whatever day this post finds you)

...note the fake bullet hole stickers just below Crowley's hand on the Bentley's window 😍

Discworld Update: i’ve gone through Feet of Clay and Jingo and next i’m on to Fifth Elephant. excited to get to Night Watch so i’ll understand all this May 25th business 

Vimes on the Limes.

Vimes' punchhole in the wall outside the Oblong Office but it has hearts drawn around it in glitter pen

These were dangerous thoughts, he knew. They were the kind that crept up on a Watchman when the chase was over and it was just you and him, facing one another in that breathless little pinch between the crime and the punishment.

And maybe a Watchman had seen civilization with the skin ripped off one time too many and stopped acting like a Watchman and started acting like a normal human being and realized that the click of the crossbow or the sweep of the sword would make all the world so clean.

And you couldn't think like that, even about vampires. Even though they'd take the lives of other people because little lives don't matter and what the hell can we take away from them?

And, too, you couldn't think like that because they gave you a sword and a badge and that turned you into something else and that had to mean there were some thoughts you couldn't think.

Only crimes could take place in darkness. Punishment had to be done in the light. That was the job of a good Watchman, Carrot always said. To light a candle in the dark.

Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

I've been listening to the Watch audiobooks (which are brilliant, by the way, Jon Culshaw does a fantastic job) and the more I listen the more feral I get about Sybil, and the more feral I get about Sybil the more BLINDED WITH WHITE HOT RAGE I am about the TV show