#emotions are the worst
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Why am I crying so much today? Is it hormones or maybe I’m just feeling lonely? Sometimes it feels like my mental health deteriorates faster than a sports car drives, or course I could just be dramatic. Or maybe I need to get out more? See the sun and feel the wind…maybe, for now I think I’ll just stay in my bed or play sims.
#Emotions are the worst#I hate being sad#this is like the second time in row that I’ve been this sad#Sometimes I worry that I’ll never achieve anything and I’ll be a hopeless loser my entire life#One day things will get better
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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Had this Headcannon that when Multi-Lingual Dick and Jason get drunk they start singing Ballads in Spanish. Yeah some classical shit like Vicente Fernandez but also the most wild Selena you've ever heard.
#is this a post about Latinx Jason todd? Bitch it might be#Don't ask me about it tho cuz I'll deny it to my core#I imagine jason drunk off his ass belting No Me Queda Mas like he fuckin wrote the song#Dick's got Como la Flor Energy but he has ugly Sobbed NMQS too#they are so infamous for their drunk spanish ballads that they actually rub off on TIm#imagine young justice suprise when the whitest kid you've ever seen wasted on 7/11 liquor is hiccuping his way through a selena song#worst accent you've ever heard sounds like a dog from New Jersey learning to bark and yet the emotion is kinda on point#TIm denies it#refuses to believe he has ever done it#Dick and Jason get a copy of the video and someone edits a mash up of all three of them warble singing that banger#anyway this was a nothing post of nothing I made for myself#fr just for me#DC#Batman#Batfam#Jason todd#Tim drake#Dick Grayson
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i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.
i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.
anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.
#[isabeau voice] am i insane or does sometimes loop talk like they might have killed their whole family. is that just me? just checking.#nille design highly inspired by @kiwibrain's since its the one that imprinted in my mind. liberties taken since i didnt look @ reference#anyway i have a lot more thoughts on this? i guess ill hide them in the tags...? scroll down i suppose.#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 6 spoilers#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#isat nille#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#doodlebyte#----------------------------------------------------------------------#anyway the extra thoughts. are literally just my general thoughts on postcanon. (and thus are the context for all of my postcanon doodles!)#which is i think nille joins the party before loop reappears for a start (either from a period of nonexistence or just wandering around)#and that like. i think the party should be able to integrate loop as a completely new person. because they are! the secrecy isn't great but#They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches in the party (eg. i think sif is more squeamish after it all but loop isnt)#and while it's not *exactly* what Loop wanted they get that beggars can't be choosers. and its pretty good#(i am glossing over how i think loop's reappearence drags both them and siffrin into a massive behavioural backslide and is likely a bit#distressing to watch go down. cycle of argument -> lovebombing -> normalcy -> repeat. etc etc. but since they are no longer literally#stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time they do resolve it via productive conversation on their own time. its fine)#the party well-meaningly tries to deduce things from loop's vagueries and are able to pin down the DEAD FAMILY vibe pretty quickly.#but eventually the question of their prior identity falls by the wayside because well! they're just their friend loop! (also change belief)#as for how The Truth Come Out... this is what i mean by The Isabeau Torment Nexus(tm). which is that i think... isiloop should almost occur#BEFORE isabeau knows who loop is. he's just genuinely charmed by them eventually and tries to close the open end of the polycule#which FREAKS LOOP THE FUCK OUT because thats just too genuinely sick and wrong. and obviously w emotions high its not a great confrontation#ANYWAY told u i had more thoughts. if i were normal itd be a text post but.
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literally all i can imagine seeing ryoshu's new ID:
#limbus company#heathcliff limbus company#ryoshu limbus company#nelly limbus company#canto vi spoilers#canto 6 spoilers#my art#WHO decided to trust ryoshu with an infant is my question#like i wouldnt trust most of the sinners with a baby but ryoshu has to be one of the worst picks#she'd teach the baby to play with knives. maybe that's why erlking heathcliff is so strong because ryoshu trained him in the art of combat#also this is a silly shitpost but ngl i got kinda emotional drawing nelly taking care of heathcliff.... i rly love nelly.
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like looking in a mirror
#🖍#wanted 2 illustrate this dialogue very badly cause it made me emotional lol#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#<- i suppose#sorry for the longass post but it looks better layed out like this than squished into a grid even if the pages dont rly flow together#could be happier with bits and pieces of this? but it got me out of the worst creative slump of my life#theres about 2859043257 mistakes in this that i just noticed and cant be bothered to go fix ok just dont look too hard#anywasy thank you loop i love you#its wurple cause its a good color and keeping it grayscale would be BORING sorry not actually im just an avid bright color user#yayyy MJY ART#edit i can say wink with the caption too cause i finally played through twohats ok I OFFICIALLY GET IT NOW!!!!!!!!!
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Uploading all my Tomgreg art at once from the past few week before season 4 hits, who knows in what kind of mental state i'm gonna be once it does :')
#tomgreg#succession#dont even talk to me i started watching this show when i had nothing to do at work and now i watch it with averiel my good friend averiel#and we are going to watch s4 together and i feel physically ill from bein so excited#so ya thats what ive been up to... anyway. i love these idiots they desever nothing but the worst (affectionate)#im also a tomshiv lover btw. im the one who yells 'THIS IS HOW TOMSHIV CAN STILL WIN' while they are actively losing on screen#thats the kind of person i am#dont look at me (lying on the floor)#okay i was not going to say stuff in the tags and let the art speak for itself but i NEED to point out details in the wine Painting..#i put a lot of work into that one. thinly veiled metaphors and symbolism yknow..#greg is gripping the stem of the wine glass with his full fist. tom and greg are dressed in the same outfit (sock garters included)#greg look appalled but he is not doing anything about the spill. tom is fondly pouring greg more and more wine. he is doing him a favor#i colored the red wine the same way i would color blood :) oh and tom is not really touching greg#only holding the chair in place. greg is making himself look smaller than he is like usual#oh and @ the person who said that it's the inverse of the tom and nate scene i love the way you think. i did not think of that before#but god. yeah. i actually thought about the scene change from when roman uhh.. christens his office in s1. the one with the coffee machine#i always go insane at that cut. this is not exactly the same since it's more.. about emotions but yknow.. it can be.. the same...
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"we need more complex female characters," you guys can't handle molly o'shea, mary gillis, abigail roberts, sadie adler, tilly jackson, marybeth gaskill, karen jones or susan grimshaw.
#karen tilly and marybeth dont get it as much people are usually quite kind or just completely forget about them#but they are included too. with susan molly mary sadie or abigail they get the worst treatment#being called either a bitch whiny mean asking too much emotional etc#i can understand why people can't handle susan. sometimes i can't handle susan#when i see her sometimes interact with the girls or remember the fact that she killed molly i'm genuinely disgusted but she's more than tha#there are layers to her. she's like dutch yet people still like him and try their damnedest to defend him#people might be surprised by sadie being included too but god the hate that she gets from mostly men for being 'overconfident' is insane#you have complex female characters yet you refuse to either give them a thought or completely disregard them as one negative quality#and refuse to recognize that they are just as complex as the men in this game#treat them as such#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#rdr2 molly o'shea#molly o'shea#rdr2 susan grimshaw#susan grimshaw#rdr2 sadie adler#sadie adler#rdr2 abigail roberts#abigail roberts#rdr2 mary gillis#mary gillis#rdr2 tilly jackson#tilly jackson#rdr2 karen jones#karen jones#rdr2 mary beth gaskill#mary beth gaskill#rdr2 van der linde gang#van der linde gang
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OC Art Dump!
if you remember them, I love you forever and sorry it’s been 84 years since you’ve seen these guys
#transformers#my art#worlds worst creator to my OCS#I KNOW.#I will doodle every last one of them again someday#Reiki learns what her dear old Carrier Ratchet meant in saying having the job as a crew medic was more like being yahoo answers incarnate#Bi-Monthly Reunions in the Lockdown’s household are met w the most diabolical greetings each and every time#dw the brothers love each other to pieces you can LAUGH#papillon and firstwatch🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#don’t talk to me I’m EMOTIONAL#cybertron’s future au#reiki#cozen#Bunco#papillon#firstwatch
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tfw you, as a mind reader, have to team up with a man who thinks too much
Slight spoilers in tags
#wednesday spoilers#marvel spoilers#your honor they're my emotional support dysfunctional couple#as everyone should know#i love tony stark#hes baby girl (derogatory)#and I also love emma#I feel like they're great foils to each other but I dont want to talk about that#theres so much controversy around their wedding#however#people do not realize how funny their friendship could be#tony “i think a mile a minute” stark#Emma “Worst time to be a telepath” Frost#you could not tell me the shenanigans that would happen if the situation was not so dire.#if it was not life or death#emma would be flooded with Tonys nonsensical ideas against her will#she is being held hostage send help#yes i know emma wont read his mind without consent but also mindreading would be smart now#especially since they're kind of alone in this#I have so many thoughts on them#AND THEY SAID MRS. AND MR. EMMA FROST#Literally called Tony malewife#Also Feilong is terrifying as an Iron Man villain#The Invincible Iron Man (2023)#I know this isnt how Tony looked in the comic but this is how I draw my tony#tony stark#marvel 616#diddlydoo#emma frost#irondiamond
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[sends them to JAIL au]
the kids are prisoners :(
#assume this happens very soon after that cliffhanger ending i made in the fic i wrote btw!!!#except it looks like dazai's gonna be getting some help#did you notice that i gave N the gendo ikari pose? eheh ....#so here's a rundown of what'll happen next: fukuzawa has those ~ special division contacts ~ and#gets roped into helping Dazai's charges to get dropped by his kids and also mori (who is still a really *new* mafia boss y'know)#mori's also pulling up with the fat bail check. and the emotional compensation check for fukuzawa and the ada for dealing with him#Dazai's charges are pretty serious y'know. stealing top secret government assets#i won't tell you what's happening on chuuya's side yet but#N is the worst!#doodles#sends them to school au#bsd#bungo stray dogs
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i think if you put these two in a room together and came back ten minutes later you would find it fully burnt to the ground
#i just want to know what would happen. like a lab experiment#they would be each other’s worst enemies. and each other’s greatest allies#on another note i just finished the church and state ep of succ . and hey? im a wreck#so reallt great news there unfortunately i watched it while i am in an emotional whirlpool as is i don’t know why i did that to myself#fleabag#roman roy#succession
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the dredger.
a comic about closure.
(buy the digital copy of the comic anthology here)
creative notes:
#i wrote my best stuff when i was at my very worst mentally#both RED and Patchwork Canary were written during an emotional pit#i struggled for a while. thinking about that#especially since those two came so easily to me back then and its so difficult to write anything like it these days#but i think id trade being happy over writing Only Bangers any day#closure#i made this comic series about the worst period of my mental health ever and now its over#its 10pm#and i dont know who i am#and thats fine. ill figure it out as i go.#thank you for reading#and thank you for your support#i promise my next project wont be as sad#stillindigo art#comic art#stillindigo comics
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Bare skin, bare feelings.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#blood#Imagine coming off as homophobic to your crush so bad he weaponizes a strip tease against you.#LWJ is just having a storm of bad emotions. His tummy hurt real bad and he was just trying to be brave about it!#WWX is just trying to be a good bro and heal his friendcrush. It worked but not for the reasons he thinks it did.#LWJ's shyness is also hilarious here considering they have bathed together before. Literally nothing there he hasn't seen before.#Granted it was a few years back and before he was left to stew in his feelings.#LWJ is more focused on his pride than being responsible and reasonable (getting is wounds treated).#His arc really is about accepting that he can't be perfect. That there is importance in being honest and vulnerable.#The tragedy is that he realizes this way too late.#Pride is the worst sin because it destroys your ability to protect anything other than the smallest crown in the world.#When everyone is gone and you are left alone - was it worth it to feel safe and protected from showing your flaws?#Control over oneself is in conflict with connection to others. You cannot pick both.#Hanguang-jun appears to us as a 'perfect guy' but the truth is that he is the version of LWJ who is done with *needing* that validation.#And this time - He can properly reach out to those he wants to be close with.
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i’ve talked about this before but a bpd symptom i absolutely HATE is the lack of emotional permanence.
no matter how many loving people i have in my life, the second they are gone it's like i was never loved and that it's all in my imagination but as soon as they come back, it's like i've never been sad
#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd#bpd fp#actually borderline#bpd vent#bpd favorite person#bpd shitposting#bpd problems#bpd mood#i HATE this so much#lacking emotional permanence is one of the worst things for me because i look crazy to outsiders#haven’t seen my fp in 4 hours? i am literally sobbing on the floor believing that i’ve never felt this kind of debilitating pain in my life#but as soon as he comes back it’s like i’ve never been upset before..#so so so embarrassing and infuriating
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i hereby present, devoid of any context, a number of emotes i've drawn for my friend's discord server, to be freely distributed
(christ)
#my art#discord emotes#chrom#barok van zieks#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#kazuma asogi#p5 joker#p5 morgana#apollo justice#sonic#link skyward sword#jacques schnee#arthur watts#don't. don't ask about that last one#this is the worst thing i've ever drawn#fire emblem#dgs#rwby#persona 5#the legend of zelda#ace attorney
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