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piratefalls · 2 years

Text

threw this together very hastily, so it’s limited by what was in my bookmarks/how it was tagged (pay attention to the tags on some of them), so if some are listed twice well... you’re welcome. this is longer than i thought it would be. happy pride, y’all!

masterlist

asexuality spectrum

can't be undone by dottie_weewoo

“What?” Buck coughs, his voice suddenly so loud in Eddie’s ear that he winces and pulls the phone away slightly. “You what?”

He picks at the washcloth in front of him, rubbing the rough fabric between his fingers. The kitchen is dark and quiet around him, Chris long put to bed, but he still blushes and hunches his shoulders, feeling a little hunted. “Uh, I—”

Almost like he can’t stop himself, Buck interrupts, “I mean. Nothing? H-how?”

“How?” Eddie repeats hesitantly.

“How not?” Buck asks, sounding genuinely confused. The note of it in his voice only makes Eddie tense further. “What do you even mean, you don’t have any fantasies?”

Coming Up Aces by SquaresAreNotCircles

“Earth to Eddie,” Buck says. He laughs, but it sounds confused. “You’ve been staring at me all day, man. Do I have something on my face?”

“Your nose,” Eddie says. Christopher still thinks that one’s hilarious.

Or: Buck comes out as bi, which triggers a series of events that cause Eddie to realize that maybe, just maybe, he’s in love with Buck. Except logic dictates he can’t be. Except he definitely is. It’s complicated.

Cowboy Take Me Away by HMSLusitania

Figuring out he's demisexual is somehow the least troubling part of Eddie's month.

No, no, that award goes to finding out he's got a ...thing... for Buck as a cowboy.

my hands, your heart by ZainClaw

“I like being the one who gets to do it with you.” His heart throbs at his own words. “The one who gets to see you like that. I like that I’m the one you want. The one who makes you feel good. Even if I can’t feel the same thing you do. I like that I’m… the reason. It makes me feel—”

He searches for the right word, but there’s really just one that sums up what he feels.

“—happy.”

hate to say i spent it all on masquerades by hattalove

“It’s also that I like sex,” is what he says instead, and hates how pathetic it sounds. “And it’s fun, but it’s like—unless it’s with someone really important, it’s kind of the same level as going to the movies?”

Eddie smiles at him. Somehow, impossibly, it’s even softer than the last time, sweet at the edges.

“What if it is with someone really important?” he asks, and squeezes, his fingers pressing into the hollows between the bones of Buck’s hand.

or: buck picks up a pamphlet, has an existential crisis, and shows up at eddie's door, in that order.

crystal clear on a starlit night by eddiesdiaz

All his life, Eddie never realized that there was an explanation to the way he felt about sex. He had no idea there was a word that encompassed all the feelings that had always been too big and overwhelming for him to name.

He’d always assumed it was just another thing that was wrong with him. His list of flaws and shortcomings had always been a long one, after all, so it was easy to believe this, too, stemmed from being fucked up and broken beyond repair.

once bitten, twice shy by lecornergirl

“Can I tell you a secret?” he mumbles, mostly in the direction of the tabletop.

“Sure,” Hen says, and, inexplicably, glances across the bar to where Buck is playing a very intense round of darts with Chimney.

“I don’t get sex,” Eddie says, and keeps his eyes trained on the table, because he doesn’t want to see Hen’s reaction.

“Uh, you have a child,” Hen says. “Please tell me you don’t need me to explain how that happened.”

Eddie huffs a laugh. “Obviously, I understand how it works, mechanically,” he says. “I just… I don’t know, I don’t get why everyone’s so obsessed with it. Like, I think I could probably go my entire life without having sex again, and it wouldn’t be an issue.” He takes a deep breath. “I think that’s why Ana broke up with me.”

Turn Off the Heart by ElvenSorceress

It was only a favor. What Buck offered him. A good first kiss. A memorable one.

People talk about it, romanticize it, write songs and stories and poems and whatever else. The sparks, the fireworks, the moment where the world fades away and there’s nothing but the person in your arms and the taste of their mouth.

It always sounded overrated. Ridiculous even.

But. He felt it.

Buck kissed him and the world suddenly had color. Eddie saw everything through faded, foggy lenses. It was dull, muted, and the only thing that was ever vibrant were moments with his son.

But that kiss was bright, vibrant, freeing, sweet like nothing else, too.

~~~

Early s2, newly divorced Eddie asks Buck for help figuring out his sexuality.

you get me closer to god by dottie_weewoo

“I want to blow you,” Eddie blurts out.

“Um,” says Buck.

Oh for fuck’s sake, Diaz, Eddie thinks to himself. Way to ease him into the idea.

crystal clear on a starlit night by eddiesdiaz

I Hate Accidents (Except When We Went From Friends to This) by morganofthefairies

“You should just move in,” Eddie said one night. They were already laying in bed, Buck’s face half-buried in his pillow.

“Where would I sleep, Eddie,” Buck deadpanned, sleep heavy in his voice.

“Here,” Eddie said, not entirely sure how Buck missed that part. “The same place you’ve been sleeping.”

Bobby raised an eyebrow when Buck updated his address on all of the necessary paperwork, but Eddie wasn’t entirely sure what the big deal was.

~~~~~~~

Buck and Eddie had always been unconventional. Neither of them gave it much thought – they were just them. Buck and Eddie - partners, best friends, co-parents – just as entangled in each other’s lives as any actual couple in the 118.

Or, the story of how Buck and Eddie went about their relationship in entirely the wrong order.

The Aftermath of Liberation and Love Confessions by ElvenSorceress

After a very long year of one terrible thing after another, Eddie has a brand new life strategy. It’s called not giving a shit.

There’s the fire of a challenge in Buck’s eyes and a clench in the set of his jaw, and come on, it’s not as if Eddie forced Buck into dating the reporter. Not like he pays it any mind whatsoever. It was doomed from the start. She’s not good enough for him. She’s a terrible fit for him. Buck’s clearly been miserable for months.

Still, Buck says, “Yeah, Eddie. Why don’t you teach us. What would you say if you were professing your love?”

You mean something besides, “In the event of my untimely death, I made you legal guardian of my child”?

Eddie stares back at him. He breathes deeply, and since his renewed life philosophy is not giving a shit and not being ashamed and finally reaching freedom, why the fuck not...

~~~

In which Eddie comes out, sexuality is complicated but coffee is not, Buck makes an excessive salad and is also roasted, everyone has a love confession, and December is the most dramatic time of year.

tread lightly on my ground by lecornergirl

“Do you want to stop?” Buck asks.

“No,” Eddie says again, and tilts his head back to look at the ceiling. Maybe it’ll be easier to say it out loud, he thinks, if he isn’t looking directly at Buck. “I want this—god, Buck, you have no idea how much I want this.”

“I feel like I have some idea,” Buck says, and shifts his hips against Eddie’s with a smirk. The contact sends sparks down Eddie’s spine, and Buck grins at the noise he lets out.

“Yeah, okay,” Eddie allows, and huffs half a laugh. “It’s just—I’ve never, with a man—what if—”

grooves otherwise unseen by extasiswings

The thing is…Buck knows people have always wanted him. When he was a dumbass trimmed down college kid with vanity muscles and a reputation for eating out like a champion. When he was in the academy. And definitely now. He can walk into a room of single people and pick someone up in ten minutes—not that he would anymore, not that he wants to, but…people want him. Or at least, they want to sleep with him.

He’s old enough now to know that those two things aren’t equivalent. Which, maybe, really should mean he should love this.

bisexuality

everything (nothing) has changed by zeppazariel

After Eddie gets shot, Buck confesses his love. From there, things get a little out of hand.

***

Buck breathes for a moment, then sets his shoulders. "Eddie, there's something I have to tell you."

"Do you?" Eddie asks flatly, still alarmed and doing his best to hide it. "I would've never guessed."

Buck swallows. "Eddie, I love you."

"Are you softening the blow, or buttering me up? Because, I've got to tell you, I'm still very worried regardless," Eddie tells him.

"No, you don't understand. I love you. I'm currently in love with you," Buck says as evenly as possible, and even then, his voice wobbles precariously there for a moment. He exhales. "You don't have to worry about it, though, because I've processed it and decided to—to find relief in telling you before moving on and moving forward."

Eddie stares at him. No response at all.

Well, at least he's not freaking out.

I Know a Place We Can Go by maybeamystery

“Well, that was heartwarming,” Chimney says loudly. “Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s go save some lives. In WeHo. Where Buck goes to gay bars because he is apparently a bisexual now.”

“I’ve always been a bisexual,” Buck sniffs. “You just didn’t notice.”

“There are gay bars outside of WeHo,” Hen adds. “Just saying.”

[5 times Buck and Eddie get hit on in West Hollywood and 1 time they definitely do not]

Your Kiss Might Kill Me (So Won't You Kill Me) by morganofthefairies

Buck hadn’t been a virgin by the time he’d hit Peru – not even close. He still considered Peru a critical point in his sexual history, though, because Peru had brought him Fiona, and he was pretty sure he could credit her with like 80% of his sexual knowledge.

None of that was the point, though. The point was that, six years later, when Eddie called for the jaws to get to a woman pinned in her car while responding to an 8-car pileup, and absentmindedly called him a good boy as Buck handed them over, he had a totally normal reaction to it.

you can shake the world by autumnchills

When Buck lacks the words of comfort he wishes he had for his friends, he turns to his other newfound talent— drawing. Though he's no artist, he's about to give it all he's got to put some pep in his friends’ steps.

Alternatively, 5 times Buck gives a special post-it note to someone in the station and 1 time someone gives one to him.

Coming Up Aces by SquaresAreNotCircles

“Earth to Eddie,” Buck says. He laughs, but it sounds confused. “You’ve been staring at me all day, man. Do I have something on my face?”

“Your nose,” Eddie says. Christopher still thinks that one’s hilarious.

Reset the Clock by ElvenSorceress

It’s been seven months, two weeks, and five days since he’s kissed anyone.

Not that he’s keeping track. It’s a long time. He’s hard up. He’ll admit it. He’s lonely. Even Hen and Chimney say Eddie is hot. It’s not a big deal. It’s completely objective. Maybe what he thought about Abby, what he felt and longed for, maybe it wasn’t… Maybe she didn’t…

Maybe no one has ever loved him.

But he doesn’t want to think about that. She’ll come back eventually. She will. They’re still together. She’s just busy. He’s fine waiting.

He’d wait forever if it meant someone would love him.

right here waiting by blackandwhiteandrose

Buck's new girlfriend is kind of perfect.

As much as Eddie knows he should like her, he just… can’t.

Of course, he wants his best friend to be happy, but this -her - it’s too much.

He’d thought maybe they could finally get their shit together. Maybe they could get together. He’d been waiting for a chance. He’d been willing to try. He even made a plan.

Then she showed up.

calling out for somebody to hold tonight by lecornergirl

Buck’s going to find that person, one day, and Eddie’s destined to live the rest of his life watching someone else have the life he so desperately wants.

He peels his forehead off the bar and props his chin in his hand, signalling the bartender and asking for tequila.

“Everything okay?” the bartender asks.

“I’m in love with my best friend,” Eddie admits, just for the novelty of saying it out loud. It’s not like he’s going to get many other chances. Then he downs the shot.

The bartender winces in sympathy. “And you don’t think—”

“Oh, never,” Eddie says, with a laugh that sounds hollow even to his own ears. “Can I get another tequila?”

Cowboy Take Me Away by HMSLusitania

Figuring out he's demisexual is somehow the least troubling part of Eddie's month.

No, no, that award goes to finding out he's got a ...thing... for Buck as a cowboy.

I Want To Know Your Plans by morganofthefairies

Eddie wasn’t as oblivious as everyone seemed to think he was. That isn’t to say he was the most observant person in the world, but this thing with him and Buck? He saw it.

That isn’t to say he knew what to do with it, but he at least knew there was something more than friendship between them.

~~~

I was inspired by jealous!Eddie from last night's episode (s4e12: Treasure Hunt), but this turned out less angsty than I intended. Poor Eddie is just too confused to be properly angsty.

burned, about to burn, still on fire by charliesarrows

Buck is tired of chasing after people who don't want him. Eddie is tired of wanting what he's too afraid to chase.

fell on hard times a year ago (was hoping you would let it go) by ShyAudacity

He doesn’t get more than five feet away before someone- an overly dressed man in a suit with a pink purple blue heart-shaped pin stuck to the lapel of his jacket- is stopping Buck on his way to the bar and asking if he’d like to dance.

And for a moment, Eddie is so struck with jealousy that he can’t think of anything else.

“Sorry,” Buck says with a smile. “I’m accounted for, but that’s very kind of you.”

Eddie doesn’t hear anything after that. Only the roaring of his own heart in his ears as it begins to beat in triple time. The overwhelming envy from a minute is still lingering, only adding to the absolute, all-consuming panic that is flooding his system. He can’t see Buck anymore and he doesn’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Why am I jealous? Am I jealous? That guy was probably harmless, what does it matter if he wanted to dance with Buck? Do I wanna dance with Buck? Why would I want to dance with Buck I’m not even-?

Oh shit. Oh God, how did I not see it?

Eddie learns something about himself and takes a minute to get used to it.

you're a real life fantasy by ColorMeParanoid

"Would you fuck me?" Buck asked so suddenly that Eddie nearly choked on his coffee. Chimney, who was walking up to join them in their little rec room area turned on his heel and stumbled down the stairs in an effort to avoid this upcoming conversation. Eddie couldn’t even blame him for running away. This was a lot, even for Buck.

"What?"

Not deterred in the slightest by Eddie’s obvious shock, Buck said, “Not to sound vain or anything, but I work hard to keep my ass in shape. And yet, nobody seems to care.”

(Or, the one where Buck wants to fulfil a certain fantasy and Eddie is more than happy to lend him a helping dick)

burned, about to burn, still on fire by charliesarrows

Buck is tired of chasing after people who don't want him. Eddie is tired of wanting what he's too afraid to chase.

After Everything I Must Confess, I Need You by 13zepptraxx

“And Christopher? Would he be okay?”

Buck shakes his head. “Don’t do that. Don’t hold him over me.”

“If you’re gonna talk about sacrificing yourself, then yeah- I do need to do that.” Eddie snaps. There’s a pause as Buck shuts his eyes and takes a breath. When he opens them, a tear falls from his eye before he can stop it. “If you’re gone, and something happens to me-”

“You can’t just bring that up every time I do something that’s maybe reckless.” Buck snaps back, and Eddie’s breath catches in his throat. “I didn’t realize when you made me Chris’s guardian that it was just a failsafe to keep me from doing stupid shit.”

The undone and the divine by justhockey

He hasn’t set foot inside a church since he left home and never looked back.

It feels like a lie, now. To walk inside such a hollow building and have his trauma fill every open space until there’s no room left for Buck to breathe. He feels like a fraud for being here, like everyone who sees him will know he doesn’t belong.

Actually, Truly by MilenaDaniels

Isabel calls to tell them Eddie's been shot on a Thursday afternoon and by lunch on Friday Helena and Ramon are landing at LAX. When they land, they learn Eddie's already home recovering and has been for two weeks.

----

Or, Helena (and Ramon) tries to find a way back into Eddie's life and doesn't know what to make of finding Buck around every corner she turns.

if I can't have you I'll walk this life alone by ShyAudacity

Buck must be cheating on him. That’s the only explanation Eddie can come up with as to why Buck’s been so secretive lately.

Eddie would bring it up- ask Buck if something’s going on that he doesn’t know about- but a part of him doesn’t want to know the answer. For now, Eddie would rather just pretend that things are fine. The potential destruction of his relationship can wait until after the new year.

He wants to hold onto this for as long as he can. Whatever is left of it, anyway.

Buck is hiding something from Eddie (but it's not as bad as he thinks).

A Life in Your Shape by thelightwitch

“I’m not talking about the team,” Eddie says, and his voice sounds oddly quiet. “I’m talking about me and Chris. We’re your family.” “I appreciate you saying that, man. But you don’t mean it… not the way I want you to.” “How do you know?” Eddie asks softly. “Because.” Buck looks up, and Eddie’s warm brown eyes are so close, practically inviting him to get lost in them, the way they do every time Eddie gives him his undivided attention. “Because you mean it like I’m your best friend and I’m Chris’s favorite babysitter. And I love being those things, but I want more. I – I wanna be an actual family.” “Okay,” Eddie says slowly. “Okay, let’s be an actual family.”

In the aftermath of Red's death, Buck and Eddie find their way together.

where the shadows can’t follow by autumnchills

And what are you two getting up to?” Athena asked. “Did she rope you into this?”

“No,” May said, assertion heavy in her tone. “We’re dismantling the patriarchy.”

“Oh?” Athena raised an eyebrow and shared a look with Bobby.

“Mhm,” May hummed. “One nail at a time.”

—

On his day off, Buck goes over to the Grant-Nash household for lunch. In the evening, Eddie comes over for dinner. Somehow, all of that turns his day into painted nails and unconditional love.

no kingdom to come by waywardrenegades

Family, FaceTime, guilt trips, phone calls, church, heart healthy meals, and learning how to let yourself be happy. Whatever that looks like.

or; when his father experiences a health scare, Eddie flies to El Paso.

i'm begging for you (to take my hand) by sirencalls

Buck hadn’t wanted someone to tell him that he’s in the right, that it’s not his fault. Because everything with Daniel sure as hell feels like it’s his fault. He tells himself that if his genes would have been just a little stronger, if they would have matched just a little better, then maybe his parents would have loved him.

(AKA the breakdown after 4x05 that Buck deserved to have.)

of men and of angels by extasiswings

For now we see in a mirror, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know fully even as also I was fully known. - 1 Corinthians 13:12

Eddie Diaz learns a lot as a kid.

Boys aren’t soft.

Boys don’t cry.

Boys don’t kiss boys.

As he gets older, he realizes that everything has exceptions. Boys can be soft sometimes. Boys can cry sometimes. And some boys kiss other boys.

But Eddie likes kissing girls. And since he likes kissing girls, that’s the end of the story.

Isn’t it?

[Or: the one with all the repression]

a rush, a glance, a touch (that sends you reeling) by melancholicslaughter

Someone’s definitely gonna see… you sure you wanna do it here?”

“Yeah, it’ll be fine,” Eddie said dismissively, hands already roaming up Buck’s arm to his chest, lightly dragging blunt nails across pectoral muscles clothed in the dark cotton work shirt, the motion reminiscent of clawing, desperate and primal. “Besides, I need you… right now,” he whispered, voice low and suggestive.

And despite all of the red flags, the obvious warnings lining the road to the ambulance doors, Buck grinned back at Eddie, bit his lip, and opened the door. “After you.”

---

The one where Buck and Eddie hook up around the firehouse and think they're going to get away with it, but don't (featuring Hen and Chim being iconic).

Coming Out

waiting to welcome you home by elisela

Even if Eddie hadn’t thought he was the most attractive man he’s ever seen, how was he not supposed to fall in love with someone like Buck?

you can shake the world by autumnchills

Alternatively, 5 times Buck gives a special post-it note to someone in the station and 1 time someone gives one to him.

Dear Maddie by holyfudgemonkeys

Maddie fears the worst when Buck's letters and postcards stop coming.

Six months later, another turns up.

Blueberry Math by middyblue

In which Buck shows up on Athena's doorstep in the middle of the night again, eats some blueberry pie, and comes out.

without losing a piece of me (how do i get to heaven?) by wafflesofdoom

eddie diaz had been baptised at six weeks old, born into a devout catholic family - the kind that went to mass every sunday, and enrolled in sunday school. it had defined his childhood and in so many ways it defined the adult he'd grown to become and maybe that had been the root of the problem, all along.

(he wasn't gay. no - of course he wasn't. he'd have known - wouldn't he?)

- or, eddie comes out. with a side serving of good old fashioned catholic guilt, pining, and hard conversations.

i just wanna tell you how i'm feeling by probieravi

Buck thrusts his phone into Eddie’s hand, opened to their text thread, and—oh. It’s a picture that Ravi sent him that Eddie obviously sent to Buck immediately, because it was—actually, he doesn’t really know why he sent it to Buck. Ravi sends him random shit like that all the time, from memes to TikToks, and usually, Eddie just reacts to the messages with a laugh or a thumbs up and leaves it at that.

But Frank’s been telling him to express himself without words, since Eddie is, according to Frank, emotionally constipated sometimes, and so—he just sent it without thinking.

Eddie glances at the picture, mouth quirking a little in the corner.

“It’s a meme,” Eddie says, raising an eyebrow at Buck. “I know you know what that is. You’re the one who taught me what they were.”

or, healing through shitty memes sure is cathartic.

the stars shine for the two of us by lecornergirl

“So you hate kissing booths then?” Hen asks, fixing him with a curious glance that darts to Buck and back so fast he thinks he might be imagining it.

Not exactly. But there’s a reason he doesn’t want to do the kissing booth, and it’s not a reason he’s about to say out loud to his entire team. So he jumps on it.

“Yeah,” he says. “I just think—kissing should be for a reason, you know?” Which isn’t even untrue.

“Cute,” Chimney says. “I always knew you were a romantic.”

“Is raising money for charity not enough of a reason for you?” Hen asks.

“I just—” Eddie says and chances a look at Buck, hoping no one catches it. Buck’s face is impassive, revealing nothing, but Eddie’s pretty sure Buck hasn’t looked his way since he said the words kissing booth.

So that’s something.

an unplanned proclamation by autumnchills

Buck isn’t always one for planning. If it involves others or things outside of his expertise, he will, but otherwise, he’s always been a wing it sort of a guy— and he’s good at it. He’s always prided himself on that. He was the friend that people looked to for an adventure— it’d never been a bad thing. He just hopes that this specific unplanned thing plays out in his favor.

See, Buck didn’t wake up with the plan to come out to all of his friends today, and yet here he was doing it anyway.

we'll survive, cause parents ain't always right by squidded

His accomplishments aren't something to be shrugged off; he's a decorated veteran, he's a good father, he's a good brother, he's a good firefighter and if the encouragement is anything to go by, he's a great partner.

But that's the crux of it.

He wants to be a good son too. He wants his parents to be proud, to approve, he wants them to smile and clap his shoulders and say well done. It's not that he doesn't think he's doing a good job, he knows he is, it's just that he wants them to see it too, to tell him they see it.

--- Therapy has helped Eddie come to certain understandings within his life. It's time to inform his parents.

Hopeless Times Call For Rainbow Sprinkles by znks

"Buck didn’t look Eddie in the eye as he slipped out of the room, just in case he accidentally blurted something out like ‘hey, by the way, your son somehow knows I’m in love with you and he’s dropping some heavy hints that he’s chill with it’.

Christopher kept coming back from the library with rainbow books, he’d added kids’ movies with same-sex parents to their queue, and he’d looked Buck right in the eye when he’d picked a balloon that said ‘pride’ on it at a fair."

Or, Christopher has run out of goddamn patience so he's taking matters into his own hands.

call me by your name by ipretendtobesane

5 times someone calls buck 'diaz' not knowing he was married and the 1 time they call eddie 'diaz' too

Finally found it right here by justhockey

He just wants to sleep. But then Eddie is placing a gentle hand on his shoulder and shaking.

“Buck, what did you just say?”

Buck huffs out a sigh. “I said Maddie is in lab-“

Oh fuck.

you're on the tip of my tongue by winteryknights

aka 4 times Buck and Eddie try to tell their friends about their relationship + 1 time they all figure it out on their own

The Doctor is In by stellarmeadow

Eddie took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before he said, “Okay, maybe it’s my brain that’s too loud for me to sleep.”

“So what’s rattling around in there?”

“How did you—” Eddie closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again. “No, when—I mean…did you always know you were gay?” he got out at last.

Gay

give me five more minutes, baby (i'm not finished loving you) by lecornergirl

This is a mistake. Buck has made a giant fucking mistake, because he’s kind of catastrophically in love with his best friend—who, apparently, wants someone else—and now he’s about to spend an entire day with him looking like that and pretending to be his boyfriend.

He barely survived Eddie calling him hot, patronising and obviously joking as it was. He doesn’t know how he’s going to get through the wedding ceremony, and the reception, and another night in the same bed lying so close yet so far away. He’d woken this morning with his arm draped across Eddie’s waist, nose pressed against Eddie’s shoulder—they’d fallen asleep facing away from each other but come together in the night regardless, and there’s something poetic about it that Buck can’t think about too hard or the words stuck in his throat might spill out.

burned, about to burn, still on fire by charliesarrows

Buck is tired of chasing after people who don't want him. Eddie is tired of wanting what he's too afraid to chase.

said i couldn't stay, but it's different now by hattalove

“I think,” he says, watching Karen pull Hen out onto the dance floor, their eyes never leaving each other’s, “I think I’m just—sad.”

Maybe. That feels like a close enough word to describe this gaping maw right in the center of his chest. It’s only really there sometimes, taking little bites out of him, easy enough to ignore, but today is worse.

“About being single at a wedding,” Eddie says, not a question.

Buck shrugs. “Sounds stupid when you put it that way.”

or, the one with the four weddings (feat. a drunk karen wilson, shania twain, a single cheerio, and some confessions over cubed fruit).

the stars shine for the two of us by lecornergirl

“So you hate kissing booths then?” Hen asks, fixing him with a curious glance that darts to Buck and back so fast he thinks he might be imagining it.

Not exactly. But there’s a reason he doesn’t want to do the kissing booth, and it’s not a reason he’s about to say out loud to his entire team. So he jumps on it.

“Yeah,” he says. “I just think—kissing should be for a reason, you know?” Which isn’t even untrue.

“Cute,” Chimney says. “I always knew you were a romantic.”

“Is raising money for charity not enough of a reason for you?” Hen asks.

So that’s something.

why don't you move into me by thoughtsickles

Eddie’s mistake is bemoaning the state of his house, how now he can’t even do the dishes or anything. He glances at Buck and catches a fervent sort of expression. The expression Buck wears when he’s about to jump into a burning window. Eddie doesn’t need Buck to save him, not from this.

He fears he doesn’t really have a choice.

Eddie injures his arm, Buck helps him out.

what my heart used to dream of by soyxunxperdedor

Two weeks to the day that Eddie returns from Texas, Buck shows up on his doorstep with a duffel bag and a nervous smile.

“Why did you knock?” Eddie asks suspiciously.

“Because letting myself in with my key feels a bit presumptuous when I’m here to ask if I can crash on your couch for an indeterminate amount of time.”

Eddie bites back the gut instinct to say as if you have to ask. “Of course you can. Why, though?” He adds as he steps aside.

Buck heaves a world weary sigh as he drops his bag next to the couch and then plops down on the cushions.

“Taylor and I broke up.”

(when it's you and i) i'm always home by lecornergirl

Eddie lets his hands slip lower until they’re under Buck’s waistband, just resting against the warm skin of his lower stomach. If he spread his fingers, his pinky would just reach the crease of his thigh. “I have an idea,” he breathes against Buck’s skin, against the spot just behind his ear.

“I’m in,” Buck says immediately, turning his head to press his lips to Eddie’s jaw.

“You don’t even know what my idea is.”

“Pretty sure I’m gonna be into it.”

“Oh, good,” Eddie says, pulling his hands free and taking a step back. “There’s so much laundry to fold.”

lucky just to linger in your light by hattalove

“And it always—I always get all red and stupid when he smiles that way—”

“I'm aware,” Hen cuts in.

“And I just had all these feelings. I had to tell someone, and I can't tell Buck or Chris, and I want you to actually stay my friend, so.”

“So you told the biggest newspaper in the country.”

Eddie sighs. “Second biggest,” he says, one of the many things Buck has taught him over the years. “But that's—yeah. That's definitely a thing I did.”

in which eddie accidentally waxes poetic about buck to the new york times.

never know what you might find (when dreams come true) by lecornergirl

“Fuck, it’s so stupid,” Eddie says. “It’s embarrassing. I mean, I had one dream about the guy—okay, two dreams, whatever—and now I’m, fucking, tripping over my own feet and knocking things over, and like, my pulse is racing and my mouth goes all dry and—”

“And you’re sure you’re not attracted to him?” Frank asks.

“I—uh. Maybe?” Eddie says, and feels a little like the floor is, actually, opening up and tipping him into free-fall. Because the things he’s just described… they don’t not sound like attraction, if he thinks about it.

“What the fuck,” he says. “Am I—Frank. Am I gay?”

Non-binary/Gender Related

I Feel Pretty by rebeccaofsbfarm

After Buck's curiosity is piqued when Eddie screenshots one of his snaps, he enlists Maddie to help him feel *pretty* for Eddie. When she's finished with him, he's surprised by how comfortable he feels in the gray area of gender expression.

Let your heart bloom by secondhandsunlight

Buck’s just out shopping for some new t-shirts when he sees it. It pulls to the surface a piece of himself he’d pushed so far back in his mind he had forgotten about it. The fabric is soft underneath his fingers, and he’s struck with a want he hasn’t felt in years. It’s so strong it almost knocks the breath out of him.

princesa chronicles by eddiegirl

Buck feels… pretty.

He likes feeling pretty. He’s just worried maybe Eddie will think he’s weird for it, that maybe Eddie won’t be attracted to him any longer.

Pride Related

LA Pride by natural_singularity

Every year, the LAFD is invited to join the Los Angeles Pride Parade in West Hollywood. And every year, the LAFD asks stations to volunteer to represent the department, and they choose a station at random. The 118 has volunteered every year since Bobby was made captain, but has never been selected. This year is different.

waiting to welcome you home by elisela

Even if Eddie hadn’t thought he was the most attractive man he’s ever seen, how was he not supposed to fall in love with someone like Buck?

Coming Through the Fog by matan4il

But Pride isn’t an event for Buck.

i realised, ain't gotta hide this heart of mine by prettyboybuckley

Eddie has never been to pride before.

He's never had the guts to go, not even as an ally. He knows that Buck has been going with Hen and Karen ever since he joined the department and that two years ago Maddie and Chim also joined. Actually, he's pretty sure that May also went last year.

But over the past year Eddie has done some self-discovery.

OR: Eddie comes out - even if he hasn't quite figured everything out - goes to pride and gets his man

Queer

i just wanna tell you how i'm feeling by probieravi

But Frank’s been telling him to express himself without words, since Eddie is, according to Frank, emotionally constipated sometimes, and so—he just sent it without thinking.

Eddie glances at the picture, mouth quirking a little in the corner.

“It’s a meme,” Eddie says, raising an eyebrow at Buck. “I know you know what that is. You’re the one who taught me what they were.”

or, healing through shitty memes sure is cathartic.

Trans

When You Find a Name by aroofstories

Evan took another deep breath and then just said, "Could you please call me Evan? At least when our parents aren’t around."

"Sure?" Maddie said, but it came out sounding like a question. "But why?"

Evan sat up at that and turned his gaze to the floor, not able to look at his sister as he said in a small voice, "Because I’m a boy."

"Oh," Maddie said, taking a moment to think about it. Then she pulled Evan into a hug and said, "Okay, Evan."

Evan sighed in relief and let the hug comfort him.

OR 5 times Buck asked to be called Evan after joining the 118 plus 1 time he got a new name.

exhale by transbuck

Now, Buck had wanted to see his sister again, but he never wanted the first time he sees her in three years to be when they're both completely naked. To be fair to himself, though, he had literally no reason to think that the woman in his shower was anyone but his estranged girlfriend.

Focus by transboysora

The reasoning behind the intensity is just under his tongue now, lingers unendingly beneath the skin of his hands like an itch he just can't scratch. Constant as his own shadow.

And dear god, is Eddie the sun.

Honey on the Vine by sirencalls

Buck wakes up to an Eddie with stubble for the first time in months and refuses to let a good opportunity to go waste.

Signo de los Tiempos by EtoileGarden

He’d had low grade nausea all morning, but had powered through it anyway, going for a jog, drinking a smooth, showering, dressing, heading to work. When he’d stepped into the station and smelled bacon cooking up in the loft upstairs - Bobby already hard at work on making breakfast for the shift - Buck’s brain had done a little complicated maneuver in which it attempted to tell him something like, mm bacon, but instead had tripped him up with an alert warning that he was about to evacuate his smoothie from his stomach.

#buddie #Eddie diaz #Evan buckley #buckeddie #911 #911 on fox #911 fic #fic rec

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