Something I noticed about Eliot is- whenever somebody from the team asks him for something... or implies wanting something; he always seems to remind himself (and the others) that he use to work alone. Of course it comes out in a annoyed huff, but there's still truth too it. Eliot can walk away, anytime he wants. He just doesn't. And what makes it all the more interesting is- nobody ever bites back with the comment; "Like you'd leave us." or "You're stuck with us." Maybe that's why he says it from time to time. Not to be mean or to remind them of whose important. But because he knows when he makes those comments- they don't actually believe him.

I mean this man at face value is gruff, sarcastic, and is off putting. He has a big personality- and can look menacing (even for his height.) He's buff. When seeing him at first glance- people can't help but feel intimated. Yet, when he's around clients, children, women (he's not conning,) and his team... he's the world's BIGGEST teddy bear. All Parker has too do is poke and prodd and make a request- he does it. Sophie gives a request and a smile and with an annoyed huff- does it. Harry and Breanna just lightheartedly banter- and he banters back. Hardison (much like Parker) pushes and prodds- takes things. Even Nate had his own way of giving grief to Eliot and the man would do it. Part of it- I think is because they know that Eliot secretly loves doing things for them. The other part is because for Eliot- working alone got...well got lonely and for the first time in a long time- Eliot has a reason to stay.

Knowing that for some reason makes me giddy. Knowing Eliot stays- for them. And at this point it's not because he's forced to. He wants to. Honestly wants to. Maybe it's just knowing that Eliot can walk away whenever he wants to- but chooses not to. Maybe it's because the team really has become more of a family and they know he won't walk away. No matter what happens- Eliot will be there. Even if they push too far or beg too much, he'll stay. He'll stay with his grumpy attitude and eye rolls. He'll stay because I think in his mind- not only is it his way to redemption. But it's also his way of making them know that their safe. Especially for Parker. Who they seem to have the closet relationship. (Minus Hardison, but Hardison isn't in Redemption much.) Because Parker hasn't ever really felt safe and Eliot wants her to know- she's safe with him.

Obviously, I'm not the first person to notice this- I'm not the first one to point it out. But there is something about Eliot. This man who became basically a myth. A man who has innocent blood on his hands. Who cooks, beats up bad guys, and looks out for his little family- that just makes me giddy. (I know that's super weird!) It's true though. It also helps that nobody on the team squirms away from him- knowing what he's done. They all try to imitate him- in some way.

In my mind Eliot Spencer means safe. No matter what kinda darkness he holds. Eliot is safe and he won't leave. And that matters to me way more than it probably should.

And you know what they say; imitation is the best form of flattery.

I’ve been considering names. I go by Tobias/Toby here, I can’t tell to what extent it feels like “me” tbh but it’s at least enough to make my birth name feel unusual. Not bad, but like if someone referred to you by a username on a site you haven’t used in a while.

I like Tobias because it sounds like a strong, sturdy stone column like my birth name, and Toby is a fun, approachable diminutive with a hint of edge (iykyk 😉). It’s also familiar at this point. A safe haven in the search for myself. Perhaps it won’t be here forever, but I appreciate its security now.

I also was recommended the name Pidge by a friend somewhat recently. It’s more a neutral name, but I like it all the same. I do adore pigeons, and the name evokes the same air of curiosity, tenderness, and beauty that I so appreciate them for. It’s the ideal pet name, I think, like in Lady and the Tramp (pun not intended). How I love delicate and warm pet names.

I have others that I like, and at times feel particularly connected with, but none have stuck quite the same way. Mattias, Todd, Ripley, Hadrian, Jack, Schneider, Hatchet, Eddy, among others. Lovely names, but are they me? I’m not entirely sure.

I’m not too concerned about whether Tobias sticks or not. If it does, that’s wonderful! But if another name feels better, then so it is. My cousin rarely went by his birth name around family and my ex changed his twice. Some names are permanent and some are temporary, and both kinds are perfect.

Names,

A lot of people have the same names. It’s really weird that someone probably has the same name as me, but it’s even weirder that with genetics and shit someone probably looks the exact same.

However I am horrible at recognizing faces. It took months for me to be able to recognize my ex by his face. I usually recognize people by their hair color and length -my ex liked to dye his hair which is the only reason I learned to recognize his face-

Sometimes I recognize my friend by her backpack with a bunch of pins. So if someone looked the same facial rise I might literally not notice- thankfully I haven’t had the embarrassment of that but with names I have-

See I usually assume that the same name doesn’t mean the same person, but I embarrassed myself with that a while ago.

The librarian I know loves John Green, I don’t know why. In Contrast he dislikes Neil Gaiman's writing. I also don’t know why.

Anyway, he recommended Looking for Alaska, so I read it. I liked the ending but a bit slow at first. Good overall.

Now no one told me that this John Green was the John Green.

Weeks later I wanted a book that could help me learn more complex words. The librarian told me to read more diversely like non-fiction. My friend had been reading John Green’s The Anthropocene Reviewed for class. I wanted to because as all humans do, I wanted to be included- plus it seemed like a fun book. I picked it off the shelf and looked on the back- the back states who he is- I did not realize that “John Green book guy” was the same “Hank Green brother guy”. I had watched his brother on a random short not even a day ago and I didn’t realize.

Then the other day my teacher was talking about how too many people assume kids with the same last names are siblings. I think it’s kinda funny. Sometimes we don’t realize the world is so small but other times we don’t realize it’s so big. Humans are so contradictory.

For example, we all wanna be creative but this very writing is inspired by The Anthropocene Reviewed. Which I should be reading since I’m almost finished but I’m writing this instead.

RWRB Thoughts: Height Difference

Today on Meraki's rwrb thoughts because this movie and book are implanted in my brain now, we're talking about the movie size difference

Don't get me wrong, book height firstprince is adorable, but there's just something about the movie height difference that just feels so special.

The thing is, the height difference between movie firstprince, or in other words Taylor and Nick's height difference isn't that big (ok I tried to search online for the precise number but there are a bunch of different fucking answers in different units but my point still stands you can see it)

But somehow, it's so prominent when you put them two together, especially when they're holding each other.

And think about it from Henry's perspective: Henry's not small. He's taller than both his siblings and his best friend Percy. he's about the exact same height as Shaan and as much as I know they care deeply about each other, at the end of the day, that's his equerry, his employee. His grandfather is taller than him, but that's the King, so that comes with this sense of authority and intimidation. So in most cases, he's the taller one, the bigger one. The one that has to be the support, the one that has to stand on his own. (so essentially my "oldest daughter/sister" rant but when it comes to height)

But when with Alex, suddenly he's the smaller one. To the man who would fight the whole world to protect him, to make him happy, the man who he loves and who loves him more than anyone in the world. Look at how Alex holds Henry: he curls around him, almost like a shield.

"You don't need your armour anymore, I'll be here to protect you and your heart from now on."

Actually, it's not just Henry, to a less emotionally intense extent, it's Nick too: In M&G, when it comes to the guys George/Nick has physically intimate scenes with: Tony (King James) is shorter than him, Dylan (Peter Carr) is shorter than him, Laurie (Robert Carr) is about the same height, the various other men we see in montages later in the show, all shorter. He's also taller than all the girls he's played opposite of, including Anne.

If I'm correct, up till now, Taylor is Nick's only on-screen partner that's taller than him. And that affects the physical intimacy, like where hands go and how the boys are positioned. Personally, I call it a "lead/follow" pair (like in partnered dances) or a "protector/protected" pair.

(Also please note that I know that this is kind of stereotyping, people don't always follow this fixed dynamic, and these labels only apply when they do follow a fixed dynamic. And I'm also just referring to the physical dynamic, not the actual relationship dynamic)

It's something new for him: for the entirety of his career, he was the bigger one in whatever relationship he was in: the big spoon, the one who lifts his partner, the one who's holding the other's waist; the "lead/protector". So what was it like for him to be the "follow"/"protected" for once?

i keep using this as a reaction pic and im definitely going to hell for it

Wangxian is that dynamic: Rant Post

I personally think Wangxian is one of the most complete, compelling and near-perfect dynamics to ever be written. Like, think about it. All of our favourite pairings generally include one T (Thinking-type) and one F (Feeling-type), or both Feeling types as they are easier to relate to.

But then you have Wangxian - an ISTJ and an ENTP. Such... annoying personality types.

You have Lan Wangji, who's going to fight your procrastination for you. The guy who's stability personified and Mr. He Is Indeed Better, and then you have Wei Wuxian, who's going to argue his mouth off than take a hint; a little too aware of just how great he is and constantly onto the search for new angles of discovery.

Generally, these sort of personalities are put into the background while an INFP (or whatever) find love. These are the cliche best friends. But never the main leads.

But look at Wangxian!

Look at them being so smart together, sharing the same values. Look at Lan Wangji showing his anger by frosty, cutting words (just a few) or worse... utter disregard for you. The guy's going to glare at you with such frosty chill or go out of his way to ignore you. You're not going to get to him, and it's going to PISS you off.

Then there's Wei Wuxian and it's like...are you getting to him? Or, is he getting to you?? If you argue with him too much about his alleged failure and arrogance and quirks, he's gonna tap into them, and make you feel unstable. He's going to wield his flaws like a blade at you. You're going to just want to avoid him and the snark that filters in through his sunny disposition.

And... look at Wangxian taking the "scientific way" to sex.

"What am I supposed to do?" / I cannot believe I'm asking Lan Zhan for sex advice.

"Relax." / To the point answers only.

Also in the Extra, when discussing their CNC kink they go all the way into the story of how they're going to scene:

"So I'll do this and you resist and then I'll do this."

"Sounds difficult."

"Okay, let's switch positions."

Like... perfection??? Like go, find yourself a partner who's equally as weird as you and have your happy ever after with them: accomplished.

Not just that but the aftermath of the bichen incense burner:

"I have never been treated like this before."

"Mn." (fond smile)

"I'll chop you if you do that again."

"Mn."

Like... how easy is it to communicate ? Without any fears, without any remnant feelings, without guilt - how easily they understand each other.

And not Wei Wuxian showing his love by gifting Lan Wangji a numerous weird things, and constantly talking about exactly what he loves about Lan Wangji. Not Lan Wangji doing every sort of act of service for Wei Wuxian (and Wei Wuxian allowing it), and being calm but not quiet with his words.

"It is as it is" - loving Wei Wuxian is a fact for Lan Wangji, backed up by his actions.

They never go out of their way to think of certain events differently. Perhaps, that's what takes them so much time and 2 life times to get together. Because, hell, it's obvious to us. But you're telling me Lan Wangji wouldn't stand up for anyone who's in the right and framed incorrectly? He totally would. Lan Zhan is just that nice. Similarly, Wei Wuxian is also just that nice.

He took a brand for Mianmian. He couldn't remember her for a minute afterwards. He saved Su She. Twice. He has no idea who Su She is. So, yes. He did a lot of things for Lan Wangji but what is he supposed to be?

I love how their relationship is built upon a pact of no apologies and no thanks. Loving each other isn't a duty, a responsibility or a debt. It is just natural. There's nothing to be repaid. There's only things to discover together.

You don't need to thank me because thanking means you recognize my effort as helping you, but you are not required to - as it is the nature of things. I will help you. You will help me. We will never measure who helps each other more. You don't need to apologize for your actions, because I trust that you will not do wrong unto me. Never by intention.

And, let's talk about how they gravitate towards each other ?? Lan Wangji sitting in Gusu thinking about Wei Wuxian and his lotus seeds and stems theory. Wei Wuxian sitting in Lotus Pier thinking of Lan Wangji. Analyzing every word the other has said, thinking back to all that they have done for each other, lingering not on the pain they have caused each other but the happiness, and you know, that they'll be able to talk about the pain, through the pain, because they are people rooted in the present.

I imagine just how insane it would be for Wei Wuxian, the no golden core until the age of 9 to head disciple to one of the strongest cores to the reason why Yunmeng Jiang win every night hunt event at Discussion Conferences, to lock swords with Lan Wangji and feel, "Ah, this is an equal. This is a new puzzle to be solved. This is a cabbage to be pricked (canon)."

And for Lan Wangji, who's equated insolence and disobedience with poor performance to suddenly come upon someone who appears larger than life, raking up answers and top spots in tests, and duelling as an equal yet never adhering to the rules, finding loopholes and shaking up Lan Wangji's whole dimension.

Another thing I really love is how Lan Wangji isn't, like, his uncle. Or his brother. He isn't his uncle in the ways that he allows himself to break rules when they don't align with the rules he considers superior - his moral calling. His hanguang-jun-ness. He absolutely loves rules; he does; and he loves his stability but he's not afraid to embrace change if it is required.

And, Lan Zhan just isn't his brother. He doesn't like you? Trust, you're gonna know. He thinks you're stupid? It's going to be translated across. He's not going to appease you, or make his presence or his wishes lesser to comfort you. He is his own person (which is so similar to how Wei Wuxian is; like poor boy was punished all the time for being himself, at Lotus Pier by Madam Yu, and yet he never downplayed his talents. He never bowed down.)

And I think it's obvious just how well Lan Wangji knows how worthless words can be if they're not followed with actions. Similarly for Wei Wuxian, he speaks a lot. But he does do what he speak. Protect Jiang Cheng? He will. Fight for Lotus Pier? He will. Protect the Wens? He will absolutely.

Thus, you see, as a couple they will never have to face those sorts of arguments where someone seriously states how they feel about A event but behaves differently when they can do something about it. As a couple they will never have to worry about the other not being themselves. Compromising is one thing - pretense is another. Wei Wuxian compromises and doesn't try to break rules. Understands that he's going to insult Lan Wangji's position by acting out. Lan Wangji compromises and breaks some rules for him. They both compromise and take care of each other's needs and habits to cohabitate together successfully, and at the same time, there's no pretense. No lying. No manipulation. No "I'm fine when I'm not."

Think of them going to night hunts together, with Wei Wuxian's easy brilliance and Lan Wangji's easy dependency. Like that guy, is strong and capable enough to protect Wei Ying. He knows that. Wei Ying knows that. The cultivation world knows that.

Think of how both of them are such healthy adults and loving to children. Lan Wangji isn't a cold dad and Wei Wuxian isn't an irresponsible one. They're both so very capable.

So, my point is - Wangxian is perfect. I will die on this ship.

we as a society don’t talk about how hilarious the tritter arc is but also how good it is simultaneously. they got a corrupt cop to personally want to humiliate and annoy house for no reason but like not in a threatening way he just wants to break up his relationships like a toxic ex. he tries to get his coworkers to turn against him and his boy best friend to break up with him and testify against him but it doesn’t work because wilson is loyal to the core and loves house and the only person who gets ostracized from the DDX crew is chase because he’s the most opportunistic of them. tritter actually makes good points like why is a vicodin addicted doctor allowed to do medicine and he should be forced to get help/face the consequences of his actions and cuddy and wilson enable him. we know that later on he actually gets help and is able to be clean from vicodin but in season 3 that seems like an impossibility. it’s comical how small the stakes are with tritter he’s literally just there to annoy house and turn people he cares about against him but it doesn’t even work. and yet tritter has the ability to really test the people around house, even wilson breaks and makes a deal with him. this proves that everyone’s loyalty towards house is conditional (to a degree) even if it doesn’t work in tearing down house like tritter intended. either way it is extremely compelling and silly at the same time. i love it.

i see people asking what morro's appeal to the fandom is, and after some thought, i think i realised what it is.

it's the tragedy of his entire story, from start to finish. the helplessness of it all, the grief, the longing, the parts of your past that haunt you forever (ghost pun not intended).

you look at morro and you don't see the big scary monster that the writers painted him as. you see a boy, a child, who spent his entire life pursuing one single goal that was just barely out of reach. you see a child who died for that goal suffocated in toxic fumes, who lost his home and family and safety for that goal.

we don't know why he was cursed. but as if he hadn't been through enough agony, as if the world hadn't broken this child enough, he wound up in a realm flooded with evil. his mind couldn't handle the trauma of what happened. as if he wasn't fixated enough, his desire became stronger.

he wanted nothing more than to prove himself.

you can see it in the way he talks and acts. he doesn't care about taking over. he doesn't care about the preeminent's goals. if anything, dying in that cave on that night made him all the more determined to prove himself worthy.

he had so much anger, so much terrible sadness in him that he didn't know what to do with it. he had to blame someone. the only person he could reasonably reflect his agony onto was sensei wu, the only man to ever help him.

he came back to ninjago years and years later. the person who got the green gi was no more than a little boy, who had never been trained like he was. who never spent years and years of his life pursuing this goal, dedicating everything to it. hell, he didn't even want it?

even his defeat was tragic. you can see him panicking, doing everything he can to escape destiny. destiny will always wrap its chains around him once more though, because he was finally dragged down to the depths. once more, he would fail his goal. once more, he would watch everything he dedicated himself to simply fade away before his very eyes.

he could have saved himself. he could have taken wu's hand, dragged himself onto that dragon and started a new life.

but he didn't want to. i love the “morro takes wu’s hand and redeems himself” aus as much as the next person, but he didn't want to. he made the active decision to shove the crystal in wu's hand and let death take him once more.

because in the end, he'd lost so much that living wasn't worth it anymore. his goal was never going to be achievable. he was never going to be truly happy. he never learned how to stop and appreciate life, how to love himself and reach his true sense of self like the rest of the ninja.

he died before he could reach his true potential, guys. that dragon was not his, it was lloyd’s. he died before he even got the chance.

unlike the ninjago villains both before and after him, morro has genuine emotion and life to his story. he's not bad for the sake of being bad. he's not just another enemy for lloyd garmadon to defeat. he's a kid who got in over his head, who wasted away trying to break free of his own fate. and he failed.

if anyone reading this has seen day of the departed, then you know morro came back only long enough to warn sensei wu of what was coming for him. the other villains immediately picked up their weapons and scurried off to cause mayhem for the sake of it, but morro was different. he changed. he let go of his grief and accepted his role in the world.

he helped the ninja despite his prior hatred for them (although i truly believe it was jealousy fueled by insecurity and grief, not hatred). sure, he taunted wu a little at first, but you could tell that it was nothing more than a little fun. he was a boy again, he was okay again. there was no reason for him to hurt anyone. he's moved on.

no one knows what happened to him in the departed realm, or why he healed and the other villains didn't. i don't think i want to know, though. it doesn't matter. all that matters is the fact that he's better now.

so, yes. unlike the other ninjago villains, morro’s story is so painfully and breathtakingly human. he has emotion and development that no other antagonist like him got to have. or at least, it certainly didn't feel as raw as his did.

Do you guys remember this post

dp x pkmn sketchdump: jazz edition

bonus au rambles under the cut:

Jazz’s pkmn were mentioned in my original post, but her starter is Eevee who eventually evolves into Sylveon. They’re both uninterested in fighting at first, followed by terrible at fighting when they first join patrols, but they get the hang of it eventually.

Eevee evolves during a fight against Vlad, and Sylveon’s fairy typing gives it a huge advantage against his dragons. It’s also the first pkmn out of the main cast to evolve, followed later on by Sam’s Bulbasaur becoming Ivysaur.

i feel like eevee and zorua would get along really well… lil fox bros <3 zorua starts off skittish and feral with a strong hatred of humans, but eevee is so chill and… “domesticated” (for lack of a better word), so i feel like its temperament would gradually rub off on zorua. like a cheetah and its emotional support dog lololol (danny does not count as an emotional support human/ghost/kid…hes got too many of his own issues!)

I got really fixated on Aegislash’s pokedex entry about “recognizing whoever is destined to be king” because listen i love ghost king stuff i gotta fit it in here somehow!!! Danny already has Zorua and Absol though, and I’m trying to keep everyone’s teams small and mostly unevolved…

(also, I kinda wonder if danny’s protection obsession would get in the way of him adding new members to his team…? depending on how strong his obsession is, he’d want to protect them from danger, not let them battle in his stead. it takes a long time for him to accept zorua and absol as battle partners, and he even has issues with sam/tucker/jazz patrolling and refuses to let them get near the more dangerous fights)

Anyway, because of this, Honedge goes to Jazz instead. I’m not entirely settled on how Jazz gets Honedge, but I imagine it was hanging around Danny, trying to get him to use it/capture it/etc and ultimately refusing to leave him alone. Maybe Jazz confronts the honedge one day and is like “listen u gotta stop haunting my brother ur giving him anxiety” lol... or maybe it starts frequenting the Fenton household and freaking out their parents, so Jazz captures it to keep it safe.

Either way, Jazz and Honedge both want Danny to grow up to do great things so they form a partnership based off of that. Honedge becomes Jazz’s sword and gets to remain close to its target (Danny), and Jazz gets another method to keep her little brother safe.

Jack and Maddie would absolutely hate Honedge though, especially since its lore involves draining people’s life force and killing them, so it’ll either need to stay in its pokeball 80% of the time or disguise itself as something else. I have no idea what though… a cane? a staff?

Also btw, Honedge is either uninterested in Jazz’s soul, or is unable to drain her life force due to ectoplasm contamination or smthn. dont think about it too much lol

Of the principles in Cultist Simulator, some seem easier than others to get a feeling for what the common thread is meant to be in their themes, and Heart seemed like one of the more confusing to me, but I feel like I have a better idea of it now after having thought about it in the context of literal hearts. I know in theory that the heart is made of a different kind of muscle from the skeletal muscle, and it's specialised to work continuously, but intuitively it feels weird that it never rests. It speeds up and slows down as needed, but it never stops. If you're lucky, your heart may beat continuously for a hundred years, never pausing once in all that time. If it's injured, it just heals while working. If it's not strong enough for the demands placed on it, it gets stronger while working. Normal muscles need a mixture of work and rest to get stronger, but not the heart, or at least not in the same way. If it pauses for just a minute, that's a life-threatening emergency. Occasionally (particularly if I have a blocked nose), I feel tired of breathing, and take a break for half a minute or so. I suppose there are even multiple sets of muscles that work the lungs, so if one can't be used, others can temporarily take over. With the heart that's not an option, it just has to keep going. If you think about all this, does your heart feel tired? Mine does. I assume it's just psychological. They're built for this after all. I can't remember if I've read anything about Heart Longs, but whatever it is they do, it must be exhausting, but perhaps they're built for it too. If Longs even have muscles, are all of a Heart Long's muscles cardiac muscle? I assume percussigants lack the ability to become tired. The heart must work continuously, because its work is the work of staying alive. It isn't the only part of the body with this property, but it is one of the most visible and obvious. This links in to another of the themes of Heart, vitality. Both Heart and Nectar relate to life, but I think a large part of the difference is that Heart is life like warm-blooded animals live it, needing to constantly keep going because if it stops it will never start again, while Nectar relates more to the much more chill lifestyle of plants. Vitality provides the ability to keep going through hardship, but the continuous act of living is also what creates vitality. Joy, too, inspires action over rest. Most of the game's curses can be overcome with Heart. I guess you just need to persevere and outlast them. The principles generally have something a bit creepy about them, something that's just too much. I think this is what that is for Heart, even though it's one of the more overtly positive Principles. Possibly I'm overgeneralising from a few examples. I'm not sure I can actually describe all the other principles this way. Perhaps it's silly to put too much thought into understanding the principle of Heart, given there is no deep truth to be discovered here in real life, it's just a bundle of associations that the authors put together. That doesn't mean it's not something that can be understood though. The games are well-written, with thought put into fitting things together in a way that makes sense.

im gonna be 100% honest with you man i'm not gonna post this in full because you are just going to open yourself up to getting clowned on again but i do need you to know this is my absolute favourite opening to any ask i've gotten ever.

All of these hot takes are really making me feel left out lol. So um hot take:

c!Dream is autistic and the consequential misunderstanding and miscommunication is a root of all the problems and conflicts.

(Note: I say this as someone who is autistic and after being diagnosed at the age of 20, discovered that at the heart of 90% of my conflicts, now and in the past, is a failure in communication from being misjudged and misunderstood.)

RWRB Movie Analysis: Henry's Seclusion and Perception-Part 1

“They used to call me the prince of England’s hearts, but now it feels like everyone hates me.”

“Hey, they still love you.”

“They love the idea of me. And now they are faced with the reality.”

These three lines stuck with me for some reason.

The time gap between the email leaks and Alex flying to London is significantly longer in the movie. In the book it was almost immediate, I think in the span of one or two days? But in the movie, it was a week.

In that week, Alex wasn't shielded away from media or news about the matter, seeing as he watched Miguel's interview on his laptop. We already know that his parents are ultimately incredibly supportive of both his sexuality and his relationship with Henry. The White House Staff, his team, are implied to be supportive as well, since I don't think the press conference and his speech was solely his effort, plus Zahra said she's proud of him. Him getting outted before he was ready was a terrible thing that happened to him, but amidst the chao and pain, he had a support system, and he wasn't limited to seeing a single side of the public's reaction.

Henry though? Henry and Bea, the only other person who supports him (I do think Shaan does care about and support Henry, but he's also a palace employee under orders), had all of their electronics, their tools to access the internet, outside information taken away from them. He was stuck with a brother who was endlessly berating him, a grandfather who was giving him the cold shoulder, and a neglectful, absent mother. Bea loves him, but when the rest of the family is crushing down on him there's only so much one person can do. Even in meetings, even if the situation is entirely about him, about his sexuality and relationship, he's not involved in discussions. There's a heartbreaking shot during Alex’s speech, where although he’s in the centre of the frame, although he's at the head of the table, the other people aren't facing him, they’re talking among themselves, not talking to him. And Henry looks like he desperately wants to be part of the conversation, but he can't cut in, and you can see his eyes drop and him giving up. I don't know if anyone has had that experience, of wanting to join in a discussion but constantly getting cut out or ignored, but I can tell you, it feels fucking awful.

So in that horrible, horrible week, Henry was forced into an information cocoon, where all the information he received was how bad this thing that was forced onto him was for the crown's image, how awful of a person he is for being gay and pursuing a relationship with Alex/ letting a “mad infatuation” ruin the image they made him create, and how others in the palace are dealing with this for him in a way he doesn't agree or have a say in. That's all he could see, and when that’s all you can see, it starts to feel like the definitive truth.

That's why it feels like everyone hates him. Because within the space he was confined in, save for Bea and Shaan, everyone did act like they hated him. No Alex, No Pez, No. Oscar, no public opinion. He was forbidden from seeing any support. That's why he feels so lost.

So when finally, he gets to see a sea of rainbow outside Buckingham Palace, he's so overwhelmingly glad and determined, as he realizes that he's still the Prince of England's heart, he is still loved by his people, perhaps even more so now, because he's one of them. He's their rainbow prince.

He's finally confident, as he takes his love's hand and steps out onto the balcony, greeted by howling cheers and applause, an ocean of support that he didn't get to see before, but was always there.

Alex was right all along.

"They still love you."

the disparity in kudos between a skk fic and a fic for literally any other bsd characters/ship :/