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#do i feel like things have been to weird w him for it to not lead anywhere? yes
evilminji · 2 days
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Okay, so maybe it's just me? Projecting my new Tea Phase?
Cause for med reasons, no more energy drinks, only Teeeeeeaaaaa~☆
But honestly? Now that I am an adult and ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT? Really digging it! Am enjoying the Teas. Mmmmmmm~ leaf broth. I like the fruity ones.
So! IMAGINE~☆ If you will:
Danny. 14 and his parents are LOUD AS FUCK (CRASH BANG SMASH BANG WHIIII-) dispite it being, once again, a school night. This has been going one For Years. That STUPID fucking machine. All God damned hours. Crashes and bangs and powertools. Explosions.
When will it ever end!
He's... he's honestly used it.
Unknowingly? This is is a skill that will come in handy later. Living and functioning while sleep deprived. Healthy? Fuck no. But it's USEFUL. He IS the ten year old downing Monster drinks in the parking lot before school.
It makes him a jittery weirdo. Twitchy. Too much caffeine, not enough sleep, his parents either blew up or TOOK APART the washing machine AGAIN. He... he never stood a chance. It's a miracle the indoor plumbing hasn't been compromised yet... AGAIN.
His blood is more sugar, caffeine, and guarana or whatever those other things in the can are, then actual human blood. He doesn't CARE. He just needs too get decent grades, graduate, and become an astronaut. It's... it's FINE. This is normal. They're FINE.
(If they weren't... someone would have noticed, right? Would have DONE something. Cared. So it HAS to be fine. His family's just weird. It's FINE.)
But THEN...
The Accident.
And his biology CHANGES. Green goo, wrapped vicious and loving, around his very DNA. Like Kintsugi of the body and soul. In green, Green, GREEN. It... it's a lot. Everything changing all at once. Maybe that's why it takes him so long to notice.
Why he thinks "oh, I'm just tired cause I'm running more then usual. Fighting and flying. Doing ghost stuff."
When... when honestly? Some part of him always kinda KNEW. From the very moment he stumbled out of the portal. The aftershocks. The pain. Sam and Tucker crying, scrambling to help him up the stairs. Sam tearing her bag apart looking for her cramps medicine. Because... because pain medication is pain medication.
"It's gonna be okay, Danny. Please. Please god, just take it! I promise it's gonna be okay!"
How do you look your panicked, crying, strongest-person-you-know best friend in the eyes and tell her... you can FEEL it dissolving in your throat. Like the pills were dumped in a human shaped pot of acid. That... that the pain isn't changing... and you... you don't think it's going too.
When you're scared. Might be dying. And you can already tell they think it's their fault. W... when you're all just KIDS. And all you can think is... you can let them know how bad... how bad it hurts...
They'd never be able to live with that knowledge.
Yeah. Yeah, Sam. Thanks. T... The pills helped a lot. He feels better. You really saved the day. He lo... loves you guys so much.
...
.....
He thinks about that moment A LOT. About how much he realized and knew, before the denial kicked in. Before he got so... Tired. Fresh of all that energy. And? You'd think he realize. The mood swings. The irritability. The headaches that disappear the SECOND he goes ghost. That he's in caffeine withdrawal. But? Nope.
He kinda blames the constant ghost attacks for distracting him.
But see... Sam? Doesn't drink tea. Goes against her diet. Tucker was where he GOT his illicit borderline illegal energy drinks. And his sister? Big on flavored sparkling waters. Which are gross to him.
His PARENTS drink a thick tar they insist is coffee. It might be liquid fudge. Zone knows its nearly the same consistency. It's horrifying. No thanks, he wants to LIVE.
It's? Ironically? Mr. Lancer and his constant detentions, that help Danny realize somethings up. Because Mr. Lancer shares. If he makes a cup for himself, he'll make one for you. It's how he was raised. And, yeah, the after school detentions? Those were herbal blends. No caffeine.
But...
But they tasted nice. Were warm. The classroom was quiet and as frustrating as it was? The tea itself? Was always... the one exception to how shit the situation was. So Danny finally broke down and asked about it. Learned Mr. Lancer knew a? Surprisingly LOT about tea. Huh.
Then one day he gets SATURDAY detention. Oh joy!
Bright and early. One of the few times he could be trying, desperately, to be sleeping through his parents cacophony. Catching up on his desperately needed Zzz's. Here he is... getting a handed a new cup of different tea?
Breakfast blend? And a bagel..
N...none hostile breakfast? A quiet space to catch up on his homework? No Dash? Just... just a quiet classroom, some tea, and the sounds on a peaceful morning outside?
......oh.
It's the best time he's had in school in... God, in YEARS. He gets so MUCH done. For once can concentrate. And? Actually, now that he thinks about it? Feels... awake? Or at the very least, not as sleepy. And being a Fenton, whom to the LAST are a genius if eccentric family, it's pretty damn easy to put two and two together.
Tea.
He felt more awake after having Lancer's breakfast blend tea.
He obviously asks about it. Then, after detention is done. Calm packs up. Goes home. Drops his back in his room. Goes ghost. And SHOOTS for the Far Frozen with his phone and an energy drink. Because clearly he's missing something and it's time to ask.
The good doctors of the Frozen are... gently horrified. Clawed hands steeples infront of their mouths as they try to tactfully figure out how to word "Great One, WHAT THE FUCK!?!? Why would you DO THIS TO YOURSELF!?" Because that... is not professional. Breathe. In, out, in, out. We can do this.
They get the most patient and restrained of their elders to... CALMLY, very VERY Calmly, ask some medical questions. Listen. Without judgements! Because they are medical professionals. Who do NOT want to scream, forever, into the void. Certainly not. So Calm! (They are going to BURN THAT CAN IN-)
Which! Huh. Yeah, that explains the constant exhaustion. He was poisoning himself. Kinda. Not so much the GHOST but the human half. Putting to much strain and too much trace chemicals, minerals, and buckets of sugar. General "mmmm :/ Don't Like THAT ™" energy from the Goo causing it too try and constantly burning it all out of existence. Endlessly.
The more he put in, the more there was to burn. The more there was to burn, the more tired he became. The more tired he became... well, the more he put in. It was a slowly lethal starvation cycle. Big Yikes.
The TEA on the other hand? Those are leaves. The good recognizes leaves and water. Other various plants, dried or otherwise. It ignores them as "fine" until they reach a "problematic" threshold, apparently? So... *blank look at the doctor*
*sighs in medical professional*
Tea? Good. Satan Can of Halfa Poison? Bad. Please drink tea.
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
And it's like MAGIC. He's suddenly BACK, baby! Ha ha ha! Skulker you fuckin THOUGHT?! Oh it's 2am? Well SUPRISE bitch! He's bright eyed and bushy tailed! His grades are up AND he's beating you like a drum! He has ice breakers for old people discussions now!! The local Tea Shops have NEVER been so well protected.
He actually manages to graduate with not just decent grades? But GOOD ones.
And the second. The INSTANT. He is legally his own man? Has his important paperwork squirrelled away and the go bags safely WELL outside of Amity. It's time. He meets OUTSIDE the house, because he's not an idiot. He's been practicing his Clones and has them ready to grab his parents so he can get out of there alive. Jazz is on video call from Star city.
His parents... suspected. Not at first, but as goofy as they are? They aren't ACTUALLY idiots. They've been watching, going over old research. Trying, failing, to get in touch with the League to have THEIR team test their research. Peer review is critical after all. They... they had been so certain. Are still somewhat certain.
But their research doesn't exactly ACCOUNT for this "halfa" phenomenon. So, there is a very real chance they are missing something. The one thing the DO know? Danny is their son. Stuck in some eternal mortally wounded state or not, he is a hero. And they weren't there for him.
They can't change their beliefs on a dime. But they've clearly missed a great deal. And refuse to fall to academic bias. The very thing that got them LAUGHED AT for decades. Mocked and belittled. This is their life's work. By God they WILL find out the truth.
It's? Better then he could have hoped. Not perfect. But better.
He helps set up safeties and a security check point at the portal. Both sides. He's kinda a big deal these days, mom, dad. Ghost scientists eager to work with them. A whole TEAM under their command. It certain endears ghosts to them a whole lot more. Then?
Copy of the blue prints, go bag turned into normal bags, Danny's off to college.
Bounces from major to major. Nothing really capturing his interest. As he aged, he's need less sleep. Gotten stronger. Grown into his father's height and grandfathers build. Tucker keeps calling him a dorito. Danny retaliates with Ancient Egyptian Cyber/Pharoah Twink allegations. According to SAM they are both dumbasses.
She's not WRONG... but hey D:<
Eventually? A really niche botany seminar run by Pamela Isely catches the attention of Tucker, who forwards it to him n Sam. Nice ™. It's being held in her Murder Park! Cool! Obviously they have to go. So off to Gotham they go. And? When they get there? Sam is APPALLED.
She may HATE landlords as much as the next activist.... but LOOK at all these run down, foreclosed, rotting buildings! Beautiful gothic infrastructure! Those could be businesses or homes! Danny, busy with signing them up, makes the mistake of tuning her out as she rants in fury. She does this some times. Needs to vent. Uh huh, you're very right. You should contact somebody. I agree. Mmmhmmm.
Hey, Sam, Ms. Isely needs your-....
Sam?
Oh FUCK ™.
By the time the Seminar come around? Sam has violently kicked in the door of more then a feel reality offices. Owns QUITE a few buildings. Danny is sweating. She... she's doing the THING again. The "gimme your Ghost Crew, I KNOW you have a highly specific Ghost Crew, don't you DARE lie to me or I take your knee caps, Danny" stare.
>.> Sam you can't keep doin- *stare intensifies* Yes Ma'am. *Pulls out Fenton phone* and so? Here come the renovation crew. The ONLY honest building Crew in all of Gotham. They cut no corners. Can't be threatened. Gangs, villians, and even local government office try to arrange... accidents on the build sites.
Nothing. Nada. In fact, it turns out more dangerous for THEM then this crew of outsiders!
Wtf!
Then? After these two College age weirdos finish Poison Fuckin Ivys HIGHLY SUSPECT biology seminar? Manson fucks off to who knows where! Leaving what HAS to be "the muscle" behind. Cause I mean? Look, at the guy! He's huge! And what does he do?
Goes building to building. Rents them out to low income families. Honest, hard working shop keepers. And? Eventually decides to settle smack dab in the middle of Gotham, in the shadow of Wayne fuckin tower, spitting distance from the Space museum..... and open? A tea shop? The FUCK?
"The Zone".
In a weird shade of green. With little ghosts, wearing crowns, because and I quote "it's funny"? Certainly crazy enough for Gotham. But like, it's loud as FUCK here. Crowded. There are gas attacks and shit. It'll never las-....
It stays untouched for MONTHS.
Sometimes being the ONLY building near it to be untouched. Gas NEVER getting in. The damn place a BUNKER. And? Despite looking like it's two floors? It's three. You enter and your actually on the second floor. No one's even sure where the fuck the guy LIVES, since he never seems to leave.
Not only THAT. But it... it's like one of those old school apothecaries. Big ol bank of drawers. Guy'll mix up your blend for you right as you watch. Tea nuts are actually risking COMING to Gotham to try his stuff. Writing articles. Apparently he has some pretty rare shit in those drawers.
Some UNKNOWN shit, according to one guy on ViewTube.
There's this whole debate on if it's Ultra Super Rare or that means it's just super cheap knock off crap. Some of them he won't make for people, even if they ask. There's a rumor it's for Meta's with specific diets. Or alien blends. But no one can verify that. Cause like?
Anyone who tries to cause trouble?
Can't fucking FIND the place. And if you're already inside? You just... drop. Stone cold unconscious. It's definitely magic but no one knows if it's HIS or Manson's? You know? He won't talk. Gets annoyed when harrased.
Which off course!
Leaves Only ONE gentleman for the job. An elite special forces trained expert. Polite, dignified, enjoyer of fine Teas. Alfred "Why do you chucklefucks keep forgetting I was in the Queens Service and a Registered Badass" Pennyworth.
After all! He DOES have the days shopping to do.
@babbling-babull @the-witchhunter @hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @lolottes
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lustfulslxt · 2 days
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1949 ⭑ Matt Sturniolo
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Chapter One
summary : you move back home with your brother and click with his friends, though the tension is high with matt and it turns into something more
warnings : brothers best friend trope, slow burn, tension, sneaky relationship, swearing, eventual smut, slight traumatic past relationship with reader’s mother, and probably some other stuff
a/n : each chapter will have a different collage solely based on what takes place in it. kind of a new idea but i’m gonna run w it. if you don’t like it, use your imagination and pretend it’s not there xx
3.4k words
prologue
Surprisingly, after the long and heartfelt hug, things were quiet as the three of you make your way back to the car. Your dad insisted on carrying your belongings for you, leaving you arm in arm with Nate, who refuses to leave your side.
The lights on the car flash as your dad unlocks it, heading towards the opening trunk to place your luggage in it. Nate opens the back door for you, holding his hand out, motioning you to get in. You easily slide through, the fresh aroma of black ice filling your senses. A wave of familiarity washes over you, striking you with old memories you’re so fond of.
“Are you okay?” Nate asks from beside you.
You glance at him with a smile before furrowing your eyebrows, “Yeah. How come you’re not up front?”
“Oh come on. I’ve spent thirteen years without you, I don’t ever wanna leave your side again.” He admits with a bittersweet laugh, then pauses, “Wait, unless you’re more comfortable—“
You stop him from getting back out by grabbing his arm, instantly shaking your head. “No, please stay.”
He gives you a smile, taking place right beside you again. Your father opens the door on the opposite side, and starts to scoot in before stopping as he looks at the two of you in the back.
“Wait.. I have to drive?” He questions, feigning absurdity.
“Dad!” Nate chuckles, leaving you all giggling as your dad gets behind the wheel to get you all home.
Home.
It’s weird to think that. You’re going home. It’s you, Nate, and your dad in a city you used to love, but now seems so foreign to you. You can only hope things start to fit together again.
The car ride is silent, the three of you just taking in the abrupt new change. You’re over the moon to be back with them, but you can’t help but notice the difference. And of course, things are going to be different as it’s been thirteen years. You just didn’t really know what to expect.
As you watch out the windows, the scenery becomes slightly familiar and it takes you a moment to realize where you’re at. You recognize the side streets, every turn, every tree, every house. And then you’re there.
Your eyes widen as you take in the house in front of you. Slowly exiting the car, you view the house from top to bottom. It’s exactly the same.
“You never left.” You find yourself stating.
Nate comes to your side as your dad retrieves your bags, “We wanted to stay here in case you ever found your way back home.”
Tears prick in your eyes and you can’t help but feel an overwhelming mix of emotions. Without a word, you lurch into Nate’s arms, engulfing him in a massive hug. His embrace is warm and welcoming, making you realize just how much you missed him.
Pulling away, he gives you a sad smile, rubbing your arm in a comforting manner. Your dad places a hand on your shoulder, causing your attention to shift to him. You immediately wrap your arms around him, yanking him into a much needed hug.
“Enough with being all sappy and shit. Let’s get inside, it’s cold as hell out here.” Nate chuckles.
You smile and follow them in, your heart rate increasing with every step you take. You’re in awe once you walk through the door. It’s been years, but everything’s still the same, aside from a few upgrades. It still gives that welcoming feeling you’ve desperately longed for.
“Do you want to go upstairs?” Nate asks.
You look towards the staircase where your dad is headed, before looking back at your brother. He has a sort of hopeful look on his face, though you can still see he’s a bit unsure. You swallow the lump in your throat and give him a small upturn of your lips, nodding in agreement.
He starts up the same steps you used countless of times years and years ago, beckoning you to follow him. Your shaky hand grasps the railing as you do, the wooden steps slightly creaking beneath your weight. As you round the corner, you notice your dad standing outside the door to your old bedroom.
“Uh—we didn’t change anything, we kind of just left it as it was.” He starts, his tone of voice a bit nervous, “We did get a new bed when your grandma said you were coming back, figured you’d like more room as opposed to a twin. Oh, and your clothes were just pulled out to make room for what you have now. They’re packed away in the garage. I know your taste has probably changed, so we can do whatever you want with it. ”
You’re left speechless as you hesitantly cross the threshold. Your mind is flooded with old memories that you seemed to have forgotten.
“Well, we’ll leave you to get settled in.” Your dad says, “If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
“But—“ Nate is cut off by a tug from your father, pulling him out of the room.
As soon as the door closes, you turn back around to take it all in. Your eyes are wide as you observe your surroundings. Today is full of surprises, you almost don’t even know how to deal with it all.
Your walls are covered in that same pink pastel wallpaper, spare flowers scattered all across them. Your floor still has that white fluffy carpet that you were obsessed with when you were five. The chalkboard is covered from top to bottom with old writing from when you and Nate were little, but you notice something in the corner that looks a bit different.
I miss you so much sis
The tears flooding your eyes slip, streaming down your cheeks as your fingertips brush over the words. You wonder what it’s been like for them. Was it as hard for them as it was for you? Was it even worse?
You take a deep breath and continue around the room. Your small desk is filled with coloring books and writing utensils just like you left them the night before you were torn away from your family. Your toy box is overflowing with all sorts of things — dolls, stuffed animals, legos. You have a giant kitchen set on the side of the chest, one that you vividly remember you and Nate playing with. There’s a small bulletin board by your window, covered in pictures from your younger years.
Being with your family in your old house, your old room, brings so many feelings to the surface. You’re super glad to be home, but you feel so sad. Sad that you’ve gone so long without them, and you’ll never get that time back.
Taking a deep breath, you sit on the edge of your bed, before letting yourself fall flat against it. It’s soft and plush, just how you like it, and the fact that they remembered makes you smile.
You don’t know how long it’s been as you lay there in silence, but your eyes feel droopy and you’re practically fighting sleep. However, it takes merely minutes for it to consume you, and you drift off into a much needed slumber.
-
The sweet and smokey smell of syrup and bacon fill your nose, causing you to scrunch it up as you slowly become conscious. Your eyes are heavy and it takes a minute to adjust to the bright light shining through the window. After a moment, your body begins to wake up and you find yourself rolling over in search of your phone. Running your hands through your sheets, you sit up in a slight panic, only to feel the hardness beneath you in the back pocket of your jeans. You pull it out to check the time, shock flooding your veins as you read 12:47 PM.
“Holy shit.” You whisper to yourself, in disbelief that you slept so long.
You swing your legs off the bed, planting them on the ground as you reach your arms up to stretch. Your back subtly cracks, pulling a satisfied groan from you as your legs slightly twitch. Rolling your head from side to side, you stand up and follow the pleasant interruption that awoke you from your peaceful tranquility.
As you make your way downstairs, you hear shuffling in the kitchen. The sound of grease popping is heard, followed by a loud yelp. Quickening your stride, you round the corner and see Nate watching the stove from quite a few feet away.
“Um, are you okay?” You question, your voice still a little groggy with sleep.
Nate jumps at the sound of your voice, whipping around with wide eyes. “You’re awake!”
You give him a crooked smile, your eyebrows knitting together, “Yeah…”
He recomposes himself and points at the stove, “Sorry, dad had to work and I, uh- I was tryna make you breakfast.”
You bite back a grin and walk forward to the stove, turning the burner down. The extra grease popping ceases, it now only softly bubbling around the bacon.
“You just had the temperature too high.”
Nate chuckles, “I didn’t know you were a little chef.”
“Oh no, I just had to learn to fend for myself.” You match his laugh, pausing at your own words. “Um, sorry I slept so late. I didn’t even realize I fell asleep last night.”
“You’re good.” Nate shakes his head, “I know you were probably tired from the flight, different time zones and whatever.” You nod in agreement before he continues, “If you want, you can go shower and do what you need to do while I finish this. Just make yourself at home, it’s yours too.”
A warm smile graces your lips as you nod once again, “Yeah, okay.”
You turn on your heels, heading back to the stairs. You look back once more, watching Nate bounce all over the kitchen, and laugh to yourself at how he’s still the same as he was. Quickly you head upstairs, in desperate need of a shower to help wake you up and relax you.
Entering your bedroom, you go straight for your bags. You pull out everything you need in order to get ready for the day — a towel, washcloth, toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and a simple outfit to wear. After gathering all of your little supplies, you head to the bathroom.
Flicking the light on and shutting yourself in, you move to lay everything out on the counter. You place your washes in the shower, turning the hot water on. As you wait for it to heat up, you hang your towels on the shower rack, and begin to brush your teeth.
Once you finish, you strip from your clothes, and step into the scalding hot water. A content sigh falls from your lips as the water pellets continuously rain down on you. You run your hands through your hair, letting it soak up the water.
You find yourself staring off into space, your thoughts consumed by this new life you have to readjust to. You've wanted it back for so long, and now that you have it, you don't know what to do with it. You feel unsure of what's to come, the looming anxiety paired with an overwhelming sense of uncertainty. You just hope your family can help you navigate these new adventures ahead of you.
Snapping out of your thoughtful trance with bright red, and tender skin, you proceed to wash yourself up like you intended to. Having spent quite some time just staring off, you rush to finish cleansing yourself.
After you're done, you shut the water off and begin to dry off. Stepping out of the shower, you wrap the towel around your hair and move to the sink. You begin brushing your teeth while you air dry before getting dressed. Shaking your hair out, you hang your towel to dry, then make your way back downstairs.
"About time." Nate calls, "I was beginning to think you got on another flight without saying goodbye."
Your face droops, guilt taking over your expression as you stare at him.
His smile falls, "Too soon? I'm sorry."
You muster up a half smile and shake your head, "You're good, just wasn't expecting that."
You sit across from him at the table, both of you having a plate of breakfast in front of you. You notice a cup beside your food and look in it, eyeing its contents.
"It's tea. You still like tea, don't you?"
You grin, "Love it."
His face mirrors yours, and the two of you dig in. Your chewing falters for a moment, and you suddenly realize you should've waited until you finished eating to brush your teeth. Taking his thoughtfulness into consideration, you push past the bitter taste and continue chowing.
"Can I ask you something?" Nate breaks the silence.
You nod.
"What was it like?"
You figured he would hit you with that question sooner or later, but for some reason you're unprepared to answer it. You set your fork down and place your hands on the table as your stare at him.
"Uh," You pause, "It sucked. Mom was — I don't know. It just sucked."
He hesitantly nods. You can see that he has more questions, but he lets them go. There used to be a safe space between the two of you. You never had to worry about overstepping boundaries and swallowing your curiosity. You want that back.
"If you have something to say or ask, go ahead." You offer.
His eyes light up and he takes a moment to think. "Um, I-I just want to say that we know it wasn't your fault. Despite not seeing you for over a decade, I know how you are. It was hard for us, so I can only imagine how it was for you. We don't blame you for it. And if you ever wanna talk about it, I'm always here."
You feel a weight lift off your shoulders as you swallow the lump in your throat. You needed that. You needed to hear him say that he knows it wasn't your fault, because even though it wasn't, you were worried they would blame you.
"Best little brother in the world." You smile.
He chuckles and shakes his head, "What do you want to do today?"
"I have no idea." You admit with a laugh as you shrug, "Definitely wanna unpack, and maybe go shopping for new things. I only brought my essentials with me."
He nods, "We can do that."
The two of you finish your breakfast over small talk. Nate says he'll clean up while you start on your room, so you head up there.
You immediately pull your small speaker out, connecting your phone to it to play music. Getting started; you move all of your clothes into your dresser. You have a few perfumes and lotions that you place on top. A few pairs of shoes, you place in your closet. After emptying all of your bags, you're left with your journals.
Shortly after the move, you started going to therapy to help cope with things. Your therapist recommended that you write every day, even about the littlest of things. So, you did. Every single day, even when you didn't feel up to it, you made sure to jot down at least something — your feelings, what you did during the day, things you wish to do, etc.
Setting them in the drawer of your nightstand, you move onto your old belongings from when you were just a little girl. You gather the majority of everything, placing it all into several piles. You find yourself smiling at the memories resurfacing from going through it all. Oh, how badly you wish you could just go back.
"Hey." Nate's voice sounds from the doorway. "I brought this."
He holds up what looks to be a photo album. You meet him at your bed, both of you taking a seat as he sets it in between both of you.
"I figured maybe you would want to see some of this."
You eagerly nod, letting him open the album for the two of you to go through it. You find yourself smiling fondly at the old pictures of you guys as a family. There are pictures of you and your dad, you and Nate, Nate and your dad. You can't help but notice that your mother is nowhere to be seen in any of the pictures.
Nate seems to notice your confusion, and elaborates, "So, dad took them all out. It was hard for him; he was really mad at her. We still have them, I'm pretty sure they're just packed away in the garage with the rest of her stuff."
You nod, understanding that things had to have been difficult. You continue to go through the pictures, laughing together and commenting on every memory. However, soon enough, you're also nowhere to be found.
Your smile soon fades as you go through the pictures of your dad and Nate. From Halloween to baseball games, to dad teaching him how to golf. You even see a picture of Nate at graduation, and it brings a grave feeling to your gut. You've missed out on so much, and there's no getting it back.
Swallowing the pain, you point to a group photo of people you don't recognize. "Who are they?"
"They are my best friends." Nate smiles brightly. "They're triplets. That's Nick, Matt, and Chris. I met them in middle school, we played hockey together."
"Triplets, huh?" You say, "That's a new one."
"Yeah, they're amazing. Never a dull moment with them, that's for sure. They're pretty wild to be honest."
You give him a smile, "That's good. I'm glad you have good friends; you guys seem like you have a good relationship."
"It's awesome." He nods in agreement, "Actually, they want to meet you."
"Me?" You question, incredulously. "They know about me?"
"Really?" Nate gapes, "Of course they know about you. You're my sister, and they're my best friends. I talk about you nonstop."
Unable to help yourself, you're leaning over to pull him into a hug. He's always been the sweetest. He knows exactly what to say almost all the time.
"So, are you down?" He asks as you both part from the hug.
Your eyes widen, "Right now?"
He shrugs with a grin, "Yeah, why not?"
"O-okay." You agree, mirroring his shrug.
He pulls out his phone to presumably text them and have them come over. The two of you go downstairs before he leads you to the backdoor.
"They usually just come straight to the back, so we can just hangout out here if that's cool with you."
You hum in approval, already making your way around the backyard. Nate props his phone up against a flowerpot, running out into the yard with you.
"My sister's back!" He cheers, jumping on your back.
You stumble a bit, caught off guard, laughter pouring out of you as you quickly catch him. You turn towards his phone, a giant smile on your face. You're filled with a happiness you haven't felt in so long.
"I'm back." You copy, giving the camera a thumbs up.
He slides off of your back, picking you up and twirling you around. You let out a small yelp, joyous sounds floating in the air from the both of you. The two of you throw your arms up, cheering like maniacs, just like old times.
Your movement halts as you hear a car pull over the gravel in the driveway. Several car doors open and shut, before quick footsteps make their way to the back gate.
You're suddenly extremely nervous, bringing your hands together in front of you. Your breath catches in your throat when you see a hand reach over to pull the latch. You feel like a deer caught in headlights, unsure of your next move. Your heart races in your chest, and it's confusing to you. You're just meeting your brother's friends; it should never be this serious. But for some reason, as you listen to the creaky hinges swing the door open, you're met with a wave of undeniable tension.
a/n : sort of a lil cliffhangerrr lol. gotta keep yall on your toes :-)
taglist : @luv4kozume @worldlxvlys @flowerxbunnie @sturniolowhore @creamoncreamoncream2 @lvrsparadise @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @tillies33ssss @chrissfavwh3re @its-jennarose @sophssturn @defnotayonna @ksskianshd @d0wnbad4chris @braindead4l @avasturn @luverboychris @remussbitch @stunza @rootbeerworshiper @dracoflaco @strnlsblog @domaniquessidehoe @mattslolita @junnniiieee07 @pepsienthusiasts @gamermattsgf @cupidsword @iloveneilperry @matt444nixi @sturniololol @evieolo @dlyansworld @luv2matt @nmegamett20 @angelic-sturniolos111 @stasiesturn @zivall @similartokayyz @fratbrochrisgf @ifilwtmfc
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senseearly · 3 days
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Thinking about laios and marcille are nervous whenever they go in their laishuro and farcille dates, and frequently ask kabru for advice because to them hes like this casanova or something like that, but in reality hes a nervous wreck as they are but in kabumisu dates
(Like yeah generally kabru is at ease when with mithrun, and is more honest/relaxed, but i think when they do label themselves as something romantic -- and potentially leading to marriage -- while Mithrun works on slowly but surely getting back his desires, which includes specific desires for a romantic partner, the tension and overthinking would set in. Does he like the food? Does he like this gift? Am I doing enough??? Not to mention that there are cultural differences between them, which Kabru knows very well, so I can see him worrying a lot about the future of their relationship, which is something that he wants to sustain, until he is old and dying, because he wants Mithrun, he is selfish about Mithrun. And Mithrun also has his own worries, perhaps more down the line, but in a very early courtship Kabumisu he'll be figuring out what he wants to do and if he likes doing this and comparing them to what his old self used to do -- then realizes that the intricacies of elven social rituals and cues are a nuisance to him now)
(As for laishuro and farcille: i think laios will be nervous once he starts courting toshiro, because while they may have settled their differences and talked honestly about their feelings, its the awareness that he might be frustrating someone or not understanding what the other wants/needs making him nervous about all of this. Especially since shuro is special to him, and i would say laios' past attempts at courtships/relationships are not that successful, especially since the thing about his first fiance broke off. One thing id like to note is that toshiro is equally nervous about it, one because there is more pressure to 'keep the best appearances' in the early stage of courtship, two i think the culture that shuro grew up w emphasizes a lot on class differences, and he might get intimated with laios new status as king or feel that as of this time he has not yet achieved things that makes him deserving of laios. If his own father wont acknowledge him until he proves himself, how he can be someone important to laios? Then i thimk these conflicts resolves by the same resolution in their first conflict: honesty and open communication. Of course there will be hiccups, but them -- especially shuro -- being direct while also understanding how the other feels is important for their relationship to flourish.
Farcille on the other hand i think marcille's nervousness comes from the fact that she has never been in a relationship before. Her view of romance comes from her parents -- which i think for her she views as something precious but a small but loud part of her thinks its inevitably tragic -- and her novels -- which is just full of melodrama, falin certainly wont be involved in a love triangle, right? RIGHT??? -- and so really she has no experience. While she thinks that falin has boys and girls down on her knees begging for her attention until falin confesses that she thinks that she is too weird for marcille. That in the past shes viewed as weird and creepy for her magical abilities, and picked on probably by people in her village. That its only marcille and their companions that treated her like a person. Obv marcille is horrified to hear that, because how could they think of you like that, *mentions how great and kind falin is x10* and falin laughs and says how she thinks marcille is great too. And that smooths out their nerves for the rest of their date)
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crushedsweets · 9 hours
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SUCKER suckerrrr snap out of it by arctic monkeys is sooo ninakate suckerr trust
i'm so ill. my hands shake and crack as i imagine ninakate living out their life. give me a moment to process. as per usual, im writing this as if i was planning out a one-shot song-fic.
someone remind me to do this with kill the director eventually
ok to begin. the song is from kates perspective to nina.. im imagining its after theyve had their weird little 'meaningless' kisses. IN THIS STORY, SHE KINDA LINGERS BACK TO JEFF ON AND OFF... also this is mostly sad theres barely a good ending im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry
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nina is well integrated into the kate, clocky, toby, EJ friend group by this point. but every time she spends a few weeks trying to "work things out" with jeff, she's completely off in her own world. she withdraws from her friends, half cuz she's so focused on 'fixing' the doomed relationship and half cuz she's so embarrassed that she keeps going back and i think that shit is SOUL CRUSHING to kate. she hasn't had feelings for someone since . . . lauren . . . and she finally gets fragments of romance again, only for nina to constantly wander off after leading her on. also heavy on the 'fell in love, or near enough' cuz what nina and jeff has is not love 'i gotta tell you the truth' its eating kate alive. she doesnt really talk emotions and she never tells people what to do, but she just wants to scream bro.
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i think toby, clocky, and ej have already exhausted themselves telling nina to give it up. EJ has tried gentle pieces of advice, clocky has bickered back and forth, and toby has outright screamed at nina to STOP GOING BACK TO HIM. and none of it did anything. but kate doesnt tell people what to do. the most she would do is raise a brow at nina and sigh and shake her head. i think this would eventually be a good bonding moment for kate and toby, where she confides in him about feeling like she missed her shot. toby tells her that she's never gonna 'miss her shot' ... especially w a girl as messy as nina...cuz evidently jeff did all that and still didnt miss HIS shot. LMFAO... but he'd encourage kate to get her shit together and just talk to nina about it. and for some reason nobody listens to tobys damn advice so kate just sits and waits.
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ok this is just very straightforward. kate is constantly mulling over it and pissed and sad and bummed out. (oddly enough, tobys relieved to see her stressing over crushes instead of like.... being torn apart from the inside by a cryptic entity)
'it sounds like settling' down or givin' up, but it don't sound much like you, girl' OK i think this line works for kate AND nina.
toby would be saying something like this to kate. its kind of warped, cuz i think when kates in the chaser mode, she does not give up. she is persistent and she attacks with a goal. he's watched the chaser run to the brink of exhaustion, to the point where kate was bed ridden afterwards. SO WHY WOULD SHE GIVE UP ON SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS A GIRL ?!?!?!
and in turn, kate would be thinking this towards nina. settling down doesnt seem like nina. giving up is also not like nina cuz she is also quite persistent until feelings fade... which frustrates kate cuz she gets stuck in this loop of 'even if she were to leave jeff, why would she settle for me? why would she stay with me? there's no point in getting deeper into this'
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kate would eventually have to snap, as stories go. grabbing nina and confessing, going on about how fucking dumb nina is being. honestly, kate would probably accidentally choke out things she heard from EJ, clocky, and toby all scolding nina... which would either upset nina, or feel like a full circle moment where FINALLYYYYY all the shit that she's been told all this time has come together. and finally she can be like oh.... this is really embarrassing for me...... also oh my god wait
the idea of kate writing nina a letter. oh my god. wait. GUSY WAIT FUCK KATE WRITING NINA A LETTER WAIT FUCK FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK KATE WRITES HER A LETTER THATS CANON NOW IM SORRY IM SORRY IMSORRY
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I also think it's nice that they made Camilla a sci-fi nerd and Luz a fantasy nerd. They're genres that are often seen as completely opposing one another by many people, which is what we're led to believe about Luz and Camilla in season 1. Luz is silly, nerdy, frequently in over her head and irresponsible and loves the boiling isles. We're led to believe that Camilla is the normal, conventional TV mother who'd be disgusted and terrified by the demon realm if she saw it.
Then yesterday's lie gives us a lot of nuance to this, and we realize that while they're still very different and now on opposite sides of a conflict, both mother and daughter are incredibly kind people (seen in their treatment of Vee) who love each other but struggle to make the right choices without hurting one another.
Then thanks to them drops all this Camilla characterization and we realize! She was a nerd too this whole time! The wedge between Camilla and Luz is motivated by past traumas and grief! and for the future has them switching sides on the central conflict of where Luz should stay (Camilla now wanting Luz in the demon realm because it's what's best for her, and Luz believing that staying in the human realm is what's best for the people she loves). They finally talk and realize that, like Willow pointed out earlier in the ep, the two are so alike. Camilla reveals that she's a secret nerd too! That she had a hard time growing up and accidentally hurt Luz trying to save her from the same fait! It's so important to me that Camilla keeps calling Luz a good witch. It's affirming her interests and goals, reminding her that she's just as good as the hero of her favorite story. And Luz finally only realizes that she wants to be understood...when she's finally able to understand her mom. When she realizes that the woman she loves and admires is just as much of a nerdy screw-up as her and that there's hope for her. Her palismen ends being multiple animals at once, showing both how Luz making unconventional choices (like carving an egg) keeps paying off for her and how her potential is limitless now that she finally knows and accepts her own goals, but to me it also reminds of the fact that Camilla is a vet and passed a love of all the weird and unliked animals (like wolves, possums, snakes, etc) to her.
It's just so so sweet and it really shows how much love and thought the crew put into this mother daughter storyline (FTF haters are not welcome on this page, respectfully). I can't wait to see how both of these misunderstood but healing women (who radiate "little/big sister" and "mom" energy respectively) are gonna interact with a) the lonely, easily manipulated and well intentioned but ignorant collector (a mix of both their interests as a magic being with a space motif! I just realized that lol) and b) the nasty puritan white man who's really obsessed with conforming to society's norms even when it literally doesn't benefit him at all.
Anyway, I believe in noceda( AND clawthorne 👀) family supremacy 💙
#the owl house#toh#toh spoilers#luz noceda#camilla noceda#this isn't proofread so if there's words missing or misspellings or somethings unclear feel free to mention#but this is just a messy thought dump#I have a ROUGH WEEK. I wish there was a more positive vibe in the fandom rn (although i kinda get it but also :( sad)#but there isn't one i will create it#tentatively I don't have a responsibility to do that I just wanna talk about things i noticed and like#i am going to post reqs just u wait. bitch!#also uhhhh other things i thought while making this post but couldn't include:#hunter and gus being fantasy trekkies is really funny and cute but also fits really well with both of their characters#gus has always been in love with the human realm and this is the ultimate neat little bow on that.#he's dressed as a character he relates to (captain avery trying to get back home to the family he loves) and his interest is uniquely human#bc sci-fi is kinda uniquely rooted in/associated w/ the human realm in toh. even in something like Belos' steampunk tech#SPEAKING OF. hunter oh my GODDD#he gets so attached to the human realm in TTT bc he's finally somewhere safe (he's always been entrenched in the most-#-toxic parts of the demon realm and it's culture which is ironically propelled forward by one humans influence)#and it's like a part of him is reclaiming his weird split heritage. he loves magic and he loves sci-fi and he's silly abt both#he's not a witch or a human and he's happy. or at least he will be#anyway. i love this shows relationship to fiction it is sweet and comforting and funny
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oatbugs · 3 months
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hiii i need advice so bad ty . basically ive been on 2 dates w this girl and both went amazing etc etc and like i genuinely like her so so much but ik her feelings r likely not as intensely reciprocated (again...2 dates) . rn there is a v cute boy in my DMs and i know i COULD have liked him had it not been for the fact that im already very interested in smn else but rn i just like him as a friend . anyway he clearly has romantic intentions towards me (he said so) and i want to turn him down but not in a way that's like....necessarily forever ? like ... "as it stands right now i just want to be friends w you bc i have the biggest crush on earth on this girl rn but if things dont work out...maybe" how do i say this what do i do
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clarabowmp3 · 3 months
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omg also I have so much tea (?) to spill online cuz I can’t do it irl 😭😭😭
#okay SO#i have this long time friend from sec school#Like we’ve known each other 6+ years now and she’s rlly nice and fun#We were much closer abt 4-5 years back when we were in the same class#But other than that we were still kind of close cuz we stay like a block from each other + we shared a class all 4 years of sec school#So now that we’ve graduated from jc we went out etc and and it’s been so fun BUT#she met this guy on discord thru a server and they had/are still having some weird situationship thing#And at first I didn’t mind her telling me abt it etc but I mighttt be a lil tired of hearing abt it#I FEEL SO BAD she’s literally done nothing wrong but idk how to express how im feeling w/out seeming like im NOT 100% supportive of her yk#Like she also had a pick me phase (we were 14 when ELSE were we going to have that phase) and has always struggled a lil w emptions/affecti#Part of which has to do w her parents so also understandable#But I find myself feeling soooo annoyed now#Like recently she texted me that she texted him that she was taking a sm break which was true but now she misses him#And she was like omg I want to turn off my feelings 😭😭😭#It makes me feel JSNXKLDLS girllll what r u doing#grow a backbone??#Maybe it’s also cuz I totally don’t understand what she sees in that guy#Omg I could make a whole other post abt how MEDIOCRE he is jkskdn#but atp im starting to miss her pick me era 😭😭😭 and I feel SO BAD it’s smth I’ve had all my life#I will dislike ppl who I find annoying even when they literally did nothing and are living their best life#KILL ME#it’s okay I���m so normal abt this hehe
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skrunksthatwunk · 24 days
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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?
#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now#sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him#no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my#best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh#he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to#say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am#and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him#and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken#but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him#and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not#like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her#and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all#the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess#like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.
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strwbrymlkshake · 1 year
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Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(
#mine#oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times#but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry#like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie#im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc#i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me#thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related#anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that#ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired#// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always#because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life#like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing#me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little#so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die#every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt.#well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he#is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him#every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again#but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh#i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT#I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀��� bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time#like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me#he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do#he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away
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soullessjack · 9 months
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every day I remember that this fandom simply does not care about autistic people and, much like every other fucking thing I experience as an autistic person, the concept of it being a collective found family becomes increasingly alien to me. love this place.
#we really just can’t win I fucking hate it here#like this is my special interest. this is my community. I’ve met so many people through it that ended up becoming lifelong friends#I’ve been here for almost ten years and it’s meant everything to me for ten years. it’s kept me going through so much shit.#it’s more than just a show and more than just a fandom and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever been apart of#and like I didn’t realize I was autistic until like late 2021. I didn’t even realize SPN was my special interest until then either#I didn’t realize JACK was my special interest. but knowing that he is autistic means so much to me#and its meant so much to other autistic ppl in the fandom. somebody at MomentoCon even mentioned it to Alex last weekend for fucks sake .#it’s real and it’s special and it’s important to us but#but no we can’t have that. make him a fucking baby. toss every interesting thing about his character into a fucking volcano#and relegate him to being a fucking prop for everybody else.#I don’t know how else to tell you this but you are literally infantilizing an autistic person. you are being ableist. intentionally or not.#and the way you all seem to just. idk. double down on your own ableism? or excuse it?#or literally ignore autistic ppl who try to point out how ableist and weird your behavior towards an autistic character is?#it’s a lot of things. it’s so many terrible things and terrible feelings. but above all it’s disheartening.#it hurts to know that even in this space where everyone is family and everyone belongs. I’m still on the outside looking in.#I’m still not /really/ a part of everything else. it’s a horrible feeling and I don’t wish anyone to ever go through with it#but maybe you fucking should. maybe then you’d realize what you’re doing. or maybe you won’t. maybe I’m screaming into the void again.#which I literally always am w this topic anyways. nothing but screaming into a vast empty void that’s supposed to be my big special family#but whatever I guess.#spn#supernatural#spn fandom#spn family#spn famdom#jack kline#autistic jack kline#tfw2.0#destiel#sam and dean#castiel
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davlucies · 1 year
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remember when imbalance came out and people managed to be upset griffin handled dav's perspective about cycle 92 & his relationship with lucretia with sensitivity, nuance, and realism
#imbalance#discourse wank#i'm still upset about this... people don't ever explore/care about how dav thinks/feels... all they care about is hating on lucretia#this was such a moving thing to hear articulated too... imagine saying you like dav but not caring what griffin says about/as him??#bc you'd rather see the sole canon woc vilified and insulted.. and all the complex moral and interpersonal issues in canon glossed over#i mean if my headcanons had been jossed more aggressively in imbalance maybe i'd be upset but idk. it's just more angst/meat to write abt!!#think of it as a good fun creativity-inducing thing!!! come write emotionally complex dav fics that engage w canon!!! please..anyone.... 🥺#there is so much interesting there & it's the worst feeling being alone in thinking that... and having no one to write for & talk to....#i miss when fandoms were fun & creative and like a positive thing. just liking the characters/story and chatting & making stuff about them#i still remember when imbalance happened and someone got mad at me for being happy about it bc of course... of course. it's a taz fan!#i couldn't even be happy about imbalance with anyone because my harmless ship is so bad and weird to every single taz fan! cool!!#they're fucking friends! he regrets not supporting her and letting her voice be heard! he thinks he shares some of the blame for it all!!#sorry but you can personally dislike a ship without collectively & baselessly gaslighting me that it's abusive bc of what you're projecting#i'd daresay after 100+ years of friendship davenport nd lucretia love each other deeply despite everything..imbalance propped that up a lot#but you don't even wanna write or read about that do you...#dav having emotionally grounded and complex thoughts and feelings? not in this fandom. lucy being treated kindly? banish the thought...#also davlucy is CUTE. they're nerds. they're hardworking and devoted to saving lives and to their friends. they care for each other !!
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jvzebel-x · 1 year
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🦋
#usually i like to think i am extremely well adjusted to what my health entails. usually lmao.#but specifically cancer sometimes feels like a goddamn anchor lmao.#stomach cancers are not even close to the only ones that could potentially go on for a lifetime w treatment#depending on situation. like this is a far more normal situation than ppl really realize i think.#i hadnt realized it before i was adjusting goal posts from 'cured' to '5yr mark' at least lol.#this is not bad. this could be signficiantly worse. this is not a bad situation all things considered.#but like sometimes i wonder what its like to be like. healthy lmao.#&when things dip its like. if this is a perma-up trajectory as far as difficulty goes it feels kind of. unfair that mine started#where it did&its just like. never gonna plateau lmao.#i question my fortitude sometimes. idk its been a long day&i havent burned thru the Bad mania yet lmao.#ill get high&itll be easier to see that w/o the pain lmao.#med change ups are never fun this one just happened at an unfortunate time in general probably.#i miss my dog. i miss all my dogs. i would have lost my mind w/o roxy lmao.#at least this time i can give him proper rites; i couldnt for yoshi or johnny. so ive been doing a full mourning period.#it hasn't put me in like. the most optimistic light as of late lol.#its weird. im being such a fucking baby about all of this lmao.#but like i also wasnt expecting unconditional love to be almost exclusive to my dogs#or for the ups&downs to still be so dramatic after all these years of figuring out treatments lmao.
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kdsburneraccount · 1 year
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Wow okay anyways
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aroaessidhe · 1 year
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2023 reads // twitter thread
In My Dreams
romcom novella
when the nature reserve she works at goes into lockdown due to dangerous fugitives in the area, an ace woman is stuck for two weeks with the childhood friend she was in love with as a teenager
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lesbiancarat · 2 years
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very weird that I've seen multiple people in the last couple weeks saying it would be fun if samuel got added to seventeen now bc there's no way people actually think that 🤨
#it just seems so disrespectful to both svt and samuel like its been over 7 years#feels disrepectful to the solo career samuel has built like theyre implying its not interesting enough#and disrespectful to the bond svt have built over the years together#like its one thing to imagine what could have been of he debuted with them and another to say this#but i dont even like that bc samuel was TWELVE when svt debuted#and personally i think it was for the best his mom pulled him from the company no kid should debut that young#which is maybe why people change their 'what-if' to samuel just rejoining svt now#but like i said it just feels disrespectful#obv i know ppl online cant actually make that happen but just suggesting it feels :/#sorry to rant i normally dont like bringing up stuff thats only an issue with a few people but this was just such a weird take#i also saw someone say it was a 'bad career move' for him to have left plds back in the day??#umm his mom was trying to protect her son who was a Literal Child#honestly i hate when ppl get hung up on who trained with who in general and act like they have some eternal bond its not that deep#it also annoys me when ppl say '[idol] was supposed to debut in [group]' when they just trained together#its esp a misconception w svt bc of 17tv. ppl think the other trainees that didnt debut were part of the lineup#but plds said that the trainees on 17tv werent guaranteed to debut/it wasnt the official lineup#'4 members left before debut' no!!! trainees left before debut the only members are the ones that got rings-13#got a bit off topic there but its one of my pet peeves 😔#may delete this later i try not to rant too much on here bc its not good for my mental health to do it too much lol#melia.txt
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hgnnghh... college friend has been asking me questions abt adhd n how to get diagnosed n stuff recently, which i'm more than happy to help him with, but just now he sent a tik tok that was like "maybe i should ask abt this too?" n it was like "why do adhd people seem to crush so hard" n it was like.
now listen i haven't had a serious romantic feeling since i was in middle school, but the description in that tik tok literally dragged the memory of all that out of my chest n i just said to him "haha yep... that's accurate my dude" as though it hadn't just described what was easily one of my top ten "do not ever repeat this again" experiences of my life
#i then proceeded to tell him that he probably shouldn't be pathologizing every little trait n thinking it's a 'symptom' or w/e#like if adhd tips help n stuff then just follow them; if you feel medication would help talk to your doctor etc etc#but also like. i don't wanna live my life like 'ugh i'm hyperfixating on my crush again but i don't want to make a move'#'bc what if they think i'm weird/creepy/just not interested in me back ugh i'd literally just die' PLEASE LET ME BE NORMAL ABT THINGS#idk just the way everything was described. ugh! the shame!!#i think i used to talk abt this more in the very early days of the blog (bc that's when i was still rlly bitter abt my last crush)#but like yeah it seems i really don't like to think abt romance when it's abt myself or my past w/it#i'm okay with the idea of like. being older n doing things in a more mature way should anyone ever grab my interest#but like idk!! it's weird!!! bc when rereading my old middle school diaries it's like 'aww yeah i was really struggling w/this'#but it's very deeply sympathetic like 'yeah it was rough but you'll get through this; it gets better'#for some reason watching this tiktok was just like. a fucking ice bucket of shame. like what the fuck who gave you that right#the worm speaks#i'd really just rather romanticize falling in love the way i have been doing these last few years through anime fanfiction#and never ever ever ever ever ever ever deal with whatever the FUCK happened in middle school ever again bc we were v immature then
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