#difference is but i feel like there is one. like with post ph stuff i dont try to break canon in big ways (or often) so ig with bellum | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pass1onepr1ncess · 4 months

Text

NSFW Topic Warning

Stark contrast from the posts I usually make, but this one's gonna have NSFW topics because I'm pissed off about things so be warned.

It's really been getting under my skin lately that non-fetishized lesbian porn made for and by other lesbians is SO hard to find. Another alter in the system, his name is Milo, is a stricly gay trans man and it's SO EASY for him to find content when he wants it. Even gay porn of trans men! But the second I go looking for lesbian porn, all I can find is straight women being sexy at a camera for straight men to fetishize. And I can tell because there is such a wide difference between the framing and videography and tones of fetishistic "#lesbian" content and actual sapphic content and the former just makes me feel so gross. I don't want to be fetishized, I just want to be horny!

I refuse to use PH partly because of the fetishization but mostly because of the mass exploitation and abuse that happens on there that goes completely unreported and unpunished not just of adult sex workers but also of children and teens that shouldn't be on camera in the first place. I normally use Twitter, but that's where my problem lies in trying to find decent content! I managed to find a singular good account, but not only is all of their content just the same maybe 7-10 videos reposted every month so there's NOTHING new, but they also repost straight content and while that's not, like, a bad thing I just want to be a lesbian in peace!! Without straight people!!

I vented these frustrations with a friend recently and he recommended a BDSM site but the thing is I'm not really into BDSM. I'm not looking for kinky stuff like that- not that anything's wrong with it. BDSM is genuinely one of the healthiest lifestyles I know of when done correctly- I literally just want vanilla lesbian porn made by lesbians for other lesbians! And for some reason, that's so much to fucking ask for!

I think the part of all this that really ticks me off is that content of gay men is so accessible. I can't even count the amount of accounts on twitter who are all gay men (cis AND trans men) making exclusively gay content for other gay men, but the fact that I can't even find ONE good account for lesbian content? It pisses me off!

In all the strides we've made in being a more accepting society of LGBTQ+, why the fuck is it so hard to find stuff like this? Why do the queer men get to have a good time, but I'm struggling to find ONE good source of exclusively sapphic content? Not to say that queer men have it easy, we're all struggling in the same boat don't get me wrong. But it just sucks that the sapphic side of the boat still has a good amount more water in it than the boys' side.

All of this in addition with the stereotypes? The whole thing of people expecting sapphic relationships to be a masculine, woodworking, flannel wearing butch and a dainty, nails and makeup, princess-like femme when there is SO much more than that! Butch4Butch lesbians I love you so much, Femme4Femme lesbians you are doing SO great sweetie. Lesbians who don't really fall into either category, you are incredible! Nonbinary lesbians, you're amazing and keep up the good work! Transbians, you are the bravest fucking people on the planet and I hope you get to fight God one day because you WILL win and you deserve that W.

Not to mention the weird purity culture involved with other queer people trying to palette us for straight people? Saying that lesbians as a whole are soft and nice and pretty? Girl, we're not all coquette and Lana Del Rey. Some of us are, sure, but there is literally no way to try and market lesbians to heteronormative society in a little bow because we don't all fit in one box! And yes, lesbians have sex! It's not all soft romance and cuddling and holding hands on cafe dates. Just like literally every and any other kind of couple, while there's still romance and cutesy moments we still get horny and worked up like literally any other person on earth (Other than asexuals. Not all of you, of course. Shout out to asexuals who still have sex, I see you and you are loved). And what happens when we do? We fuck! We have hot lesbian sex and it's great!

Also, might I add that it's really misogynistic to try and label lesbians as this group of pure, innocent, soft and fluffy group of women who couldn't possibly have a sex drive! Or on the other hand, saying that all lesbians are horndogs who can't keep themselves off each other- because I've seen that one, too! I hate being labeled like this, why is it SO HARD for people to just accept that lesbians are literally just people. We're just like everyone else- the ONLY thing different is that we don't wanna be romantically or sexually involved with men. That is IT!!!!!

And in terms of the lack of good sapphic content, it also goes beyong porn! Literally every sapphic show I've seen released in the past few years has been cancelled after ONE season and then a lot of it just gets deleted entirely so that one season isn't even available anymore!! But the you have Heartstoppers and Love, Simon and I just! I'm happy that we as a community have fought hard enough to have these things. I'm not trying to drive a wedge between the achillean and sapphic communities. I just wish us sapphics got the same treatment as the men do.

I love being a lesbian, don't get me wrong. But sometimes I am exhausted from being overlooked. From being glanced over and shoved into a box that I nor anyone else in that box fits into. I want to be a lesbian in peace.

#lesbian #sapphic #wlw #women loving women #rant post #Im angry and Im a lesbian and Im fucking fed up #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtq community #queer #queer community

34 notes · View notes

mokutone · 1 year

Text

🌿🌱 Mokutone Masterpost 🌱🌿

Hi! Welcome. This post will function sort of as a FAQ and will be updated as such. You don't need to read it, but if you've had these questions, here are my answers:

"Do you take Commissions?"

Not yet! I do, however, have a Ko-fi, where I'll do some little thank-you doodles!

"Do you have a shop?"

No, not at the moment! I am considering it though...

"What materials do you use?"

By far the questions I get asked the most are about this, so this will get very long and I'm going to put it under a readmore. I will address the papers, inks, watercolors, dip pens, brushes, and other materials that I have used.

I also answer questions about my materials under the "my ninja tools and scrolls" tag, and give art technique advice under the "my jutsu" tag. Yes it's silly, but this is a Naruto art blog. this is what we all signed up for.

Mostly, this will be a list of my traditional materials. I will address the paper, pens, inks, and various types of watercolor that I use!

📄 PAPERS: 📄

—Strathmore 400 Series Heavyweight Drawing Pads 100lb/163gsm. (these numbers refer to the weight/thickness of the paper. thicker paper is less likely to buckle) ———> This paper is extremely cheap (a 9"/12" pad is often under 10 dollars), takes inks EXCELLENTLY, but it's a much lighter paper, and it will buckle under watercolor. For this paper, it's good to only paint small sections, to paint very slowly, or to paint with the paper taped down to another surface.

—Fabriano Hot Press (Hot Press means the paper is smooth, not rough) Watercolor Paper, 140lb/300 gsm ———> I use this paper the most because it's fairly cheap to buy in bulk, while still being good enough quality that my picky watercolor teacher approved it, Lol. I can usually find a 9"/12" block of it with 50 pages for about $20 if i look hard enough—and the paper is hardy enough that if I'm careful, I can paint on both front and back of the paper. Bad for archival purposes maybe, but great for having fun and not spending more money. [Example]

—Vision Cold Press (Meaning the paper is rough and textured) Watercolor Paper, 140lb/300 gsm ———> My watercolor teacher said this stuff was garbage, but...I don't really care! It is DIRT CHEAP and YES it buckles a little despite being thick, and YES it feels like cardboard in your hand, and YES it ONLY comes in coldpress, but the texture is grainy and even and nice... and like. when I say dirt cheap I mean dirt cheap. I used to get the 6"/9" 30 page pad for like 6 or 7 bucks. [Example]

—Arches Watercolor Pad/Block, Hot Press, 140lb/300 gsm ———> This is that expensive shit. I got a pad of it for a class back in college, and I dip into it now and again—I also bought a little bit more when there was a sale recently, a 12 page. It's 100% cotton, and it takes pigment based watercolor REALLY well, but it's not so good about dye based (I'll discuss the difference between those later) [Example]

🎨 WATERCOLORS: 🎨

DYE BASED:

Dye based watercolors, because they are based in dyes instead of pigments, are not lightfast. They are not archival. If you expose them to sunlight, they will begin to fade, and some will fade rapidly. That said, if you hoard your art in a dark place once you've documented, go hog wild! The fact that they're all liquid already makes them really easy to use.

—Ecoline Watercolor [Liquid] ———> These are a little watery, but they are cheap and easy, and I used them for the majority of my early watercolor art on this blog!

— Dr. Ph. Martin's Radiant Concentrated Watercolors [Liquid] ———> They are expensive, and sold in small quantities. They are, however very bright, like that label isn't lying! They're super concentrated! I have not actually run out of any of the ones that I bought (at a store closing sale bc otherwise they're too expensive lol) because they only use a small amount at a time

— Dr. Ph. Martin's Synchromatic Transparent Watercolors [Liquid] ———> They are also expensive, and also sold in small quantities. They aren't really made for paper either. They're fine. Probably not worth it though!

PIGMENT BASED:

—Black Sheep Art Supply's Pans And Half Pans! [solid watercolor] ———> These have been very enjoyable for me to work with!! They're very bright, affordably priced, and the paints are from a small business, as well as being handmade and from the first Black-owned art supply store. I've had wonderful experiences ordering from this store, and I wholeheartedly recommend them!

[EDIT: apparently the shop is on a break or something! oh well]

—Dr. Ph. Martin's Hydrus [liquid watercolor] ———> These are liquid watercolors, like the dyes, but they are archival and somewhat light-fast, which means they can be exposed to moderate amounts of sunlight without fading. I haven't gotten to use them much yet, but they seem fine. You do have to shake them a lot to mix the pigment in. They can also be a little difficult to rewet, and may appear somewhat flaky.

—Turner Professional Artists' Watercolors [tube/semi liquid] ———> These are watercolors stored in tubes, you know, the traditional way! I used these for class, back in college. They're cheap, but well pigmented as far as cheap watercolors go. If you're really on a tight budget, this is probably the best pick.

—Holbein Artist' Water Color [tube/semi liquid] ———> My best friend (the one who got me into naruto!) gave these to me! Usually they can be very expensive. They're very high quality, and gorgeous. I'm so enamored with them and touched by the gesture that I use them very rarely, I don't want to lose them! They're special to me!

✒️ INKS: 🖋️

I only use permanent inks which will not bleed (much) when water is applied, due to working in watercolor. This list will reflect that

—Dr. Ph. Martin's Bombay Black India Ink ———> I use this the most frequently. It's a little shiny, but not too bad, and it is completely waterproof once dried. Of the Ph. Martin inks, it's the cheapest by far, and a 1oz bottle (which lasts me months) can be found for about $5. —Dr. Ph. Martin's Black Star (Matte) Ink ———> Very waterproof, does not shine much at all. If you record your art with photography rather than scanning, this may be useful to you! Unfortunately, it's about $10 a bottle. —Dr. Ph. Martin's Black Star (Hi-Carb) Ink ———> Very waterproof, very shiny. I don't use this much because I don't like my ink to shine, but it can be very nice with the right application. Unfortunately, it's also about $10 a bottle.

—Yatsumoto Sumi Ink ———> you can get this stuff cheap. Like, you could get a 12oz bottle of it for like $12. That's very cheap. Unfortunately it's not completely waterproof, and if you agitate (rub the brush vigorously) over the ink, it may seep into the watercolors. If you're careful though, this won't be a huge problem. It's also good for ink-only work.

—Liquitex Acrylic Ink ———> This is also very waterproof, but it also takes longer to dry than the other inks, so I find myself smudging it a lot. It's also about $7 for a 1oz bottle, but about $20 for a 5oz bottle, so if you're committed to the ink, it can be cheap to buy in larger sizes.

—Diamine Registrar's Blue-Black Ink ———> Expensive. Really more of an interesting find than a practical ink for me. This is mostly waterproof, but a very thin ink, and you can feel the nib get scratchier when drawing with it. That's not a bad thing, it's just a textural thing. It's produced in a similar way to medieval inks, with iron and oak-galls, and because of this it has some interesting properties: When first applied to paper, it's a pale or sky blue, but it darkens rapidly as it dries, becoming almost black over time. It runs the rusk of corroding metal pen nibs due to its chemical makeup, and so nibs which use this must be washed extra thoroughly.

✍️ PEN NIB HOLDERS: ✍️

—Speedball Sketching Pen Set: ———> Easiest to get your hands on. Comes with two nib-holders and 6 different nibs to try out, available at most art stores, and usually around $10. It's also not bad quality—I don't use the tiny little nib-holder any more, but I use the standard black one all the time.

—Tachikawa Comic Pen Nib Holder, Model 40/ Model 36 ———> My Favorite. Thank god it has a little rubbery thing around it, because I grip pens hard 😭. It is able to hold standard-size AND small-size nibs. Occasionally, I find that some "standard-size" nibs might not fit, but I've never had this issue with the small size nibs.

Honestly, those are my favorites, but it's really hard to go wrong with pen nib holders. If they fit comfortably in your hand, and they hold a nib, they're good!

🖋 NIBS: ✒️

Nibs are difficult to acquire. They can be expensive too.

— Speedball ———> If you want to get a variety of nibs to experiment, this is my first recommendation. They have a wide variety of nibs to experiment, and find out what your favorites are.

—Tachikawa Pen Nibs ———> They've got less robust options than Speedball, and a little more expensive too, but they're very good nibs! The G-Nib is the standard nib used in comic making, and especially for lettering. It's a very stiff little nib, so it doesn't flex too much. This makes it pretty reliable, and especially good for lettering/writing.

—Manuscript Leonardt Pen Nibs ———> A lot of options for everything from caligraphy to cartography to sketching, also a little expensive—what is notable is that their pen nibs tend to be on the more flexible side, allowing the artist to get a lot of line weight variance. This is bad for lettering, but fun for drawing! They also have pens shaped like hands. Neat.

—Brause Pen Nibs ———> These were always super expensive where I was. I got a few. They come in this dorky plastic case with a sliding top, and I kinda wish they didn't bc that's a whole lotta plastic for something that coulda been stored in cardboard or paper, lol. I now use the cases to hold perfume samples. They're good pens, they're just expensive and the packaging is dumb.

—Whatever the hell is on Etsy. ———> People love to sell vintage things on etsy, and pen nibs are no exception. Often, you can find random samplers of pen nibs, or collections of pen nibs for sale. Sometimes you can find a whole box of one kind of pen nib, often times with a lot of nibs in it. I once bought one of these for like $45 and i don't even regret it because it's got a shitton of nibs and I realllly like using them. It will literally last me the rest of my life.

🖌 Brushes: 🖌

I don't have a lot to say about brushes! Ultimately, if it makes a mark on paper, and you like the mark it makes...I think that's a good brush.

I've been told you should go for ones which hold a shape, I think, and don't spread out in a big puff. Ones which use animal hairs are apparently best, but they are also very expensive. Generally, with watercolors, you will want to use "round" brushes, especially for beginners. If you want to experiment, I recommend Filberts, but there are also sword/dagger brushes if you're painting something like grass. Mostly I use:

—Creative Mark Mimik Kolinsky: ———> As the name implies, these are meant to mimic (synthetically) brushes made from Kolinsky fur. These are nice and I like them. They're cheap, but hold their shape well, and feel good in the hand. —Creative Mark Mimik High Performance Synthetic Squirrel Hair Watercolor Brushes: ———> What a name. I find these to be just as good for me as the Mimik Kolinsky, but a little bit cheaper. As long as ur careful not to treat them too roughly you'll be fine.

—Princeton Watercolor Brushes ———> Good. Expensive, but good. They have a variety of synthetic + natural materials, they are well made, if you have a little money to throw around + want a brush which will preform very well but will not destroy your bank, this is a solid brand. I've used ones from their Velvetouch, Mini-Detailer, and Heritage collections before, and enjoyed them all very much.

Additional Supplies:

—Porcelain Palette ———> I highly recommend using a porcelain palette instead of a plastic palette, both because I like to cut down on plastic when I can, and because the porcelain palettes are just....so much more convenient. The glass-like coating means that they will be easier to clean, whereas all of my plastic palettes over the years have gotten permanent stains. They're a little harder to accidentally knock around because they're heavier, which probably isn't a problem for most people, but I can be kinda clumsy. I can't tell u the number of times I've sent a full plastic circle-palette of watercolors flying lol

58 notes · View notes

ahundredtimesover · 14 hours

Note

omg i didn’t think you’d answer my ask HAJSHSJSKS cue the kilig feeling 🥰 everything i know about basketball, learned unwillingly cos of my kuyas and tatay who changed the channel whenever there was a san miguel/tnt/lakers ateneo game PLUS they made me watch slam dunk din so every time yoongi mentions that my eye twitches cos *war flashbacks to when i wanna watch my cartoons*

but i’ve come to terms with the trauma EME 😭 jk lang it actually helped when i started writing for my uni’s publication and covered basketball games. sa uaap, i’m also really a fan of admu kahit di ako atenista HAHAHHAJSKSJS and yes that doug kramer clutch—one of the highlights of the entire uaap tbvh. i can’t imagine witnessing that LIVE. iba na rin uaap ngayon eh. (and ph basketball in general. sad na wala na yung hype masyado which i’m not surprised at all given how problematic the players are like???? sighs. toxic masculinity ew—theory q lang naman tho)

your writing is AMAZING pls like i’m not even kidding. you’re seriously one of the best writers across all platforms bc you can truly see and feel the effort you put in making your stories and dare i say you also don’t make your audience feel dumb (i can make a whole other 10-page essay about this PLS pero wag muna) and respect them by creating all these nuanced and character-driven stories (which is SO hard to find). i’m rereading “a still day or a hurricane” as a law girlie now 🥺

i hope the stories never stop forming in your head and i hope you experience so many great things in life that will inspire you to continue writing for many years to come cos who says there’s an age limit in writing fanfics???? 🧐 but also don’t forget to take care of yourself, ate mimi (yie ate 🥹). stay hydrated in this god awful heat!!! baka dumalas ako sa inbox mo i’m SORRY

- coj 🩵

Hiii I am here! Late to reply but I'm here! And lolll a usual story! It often starts with the men haha. My dad was a huge fan, too, so our TV always had basketball on. But I've come to love the sport even as a spectator! Whereas you've come to use it as a journalist nakkssss 😌😌 hahaha but true. PH basketball is sooo different now. I think it's also the culture. I can't even keep up with the conferences and the players and stuff. Nice to know my UAAP heroes are thriving but it's just not the same.

As for your lovely words... THANK YOU. 🥹 I'm such a context person in that I like exploring the why's of people - why they do what they do and say what they say. It always comes from somewhere, and a lot of it is fear. It's such a human feeling, so is desire. But I love writing about love, too, and that itself is complicated and beautiful. And I know it's just fanfic but it's a way for me to kind of release all these reflections and insights into the world and I'm just happy you're able to connect with these very flawed fictional humans! There's a little of us in them for sure! 💕

Lol sometimes I wish the stories would stop bc I won't stop thinking about them! I literally have scenes and dialogues written up for stories that idk if I'll ever get to actually write but yeah, hopefully there's energy and inspiration to match the ideas. One day I’ll probably have a “scenes from stories I’ll never write” post 🥲🥲

Pls stay cool and hydrated! Be safe always! 💕💕

#mimianswers #💌

4 notes · View notes

succubusphan · 9 months

Text

Two Man Team - Chapter 1

Summary: This is the story of two struggling friends who after many trials and tribulations find their way back to each other and build the life they've always dreamed of.

Or how Phil changed his life by talking to random strangers on the internet.

Rating: E

Tags/warnings: Friends to lovers, Friends with benefits, mental health issues (mainly anxiety), Slow burn, Dan is a psych student. Canon divergence (the timeline is altered and some things never happened), Slutty Phil, Angst with a happy ending. The fic spans many years.

Author's Note: Written for the OSPBB 2023 @oldschoolpbb. Thank you @effingmeteors for being my life saviour and beta as usual and to my artist Lin @anironsidh.

Edits and the art will be added at some point, we are busy bees.

POSTING EVERY DAY UNTIL IT'S COMPLETED.

Total Word Count: 75k ish

Read on Ao3

CHAPTER 1: Somebody to Love

June 2005

Phil threw himself onto his bed and looked around at his neon green walls and carpet thinking how little time he had left in his childhood bedroom. He had one last summer in his hometown before uprooting his entire life and moving to York for uni. It was weird, in a way, to be in this sort of limbo where his basic education was over; he no longer felt like a child but didn’t feel like an adult either. It could be because he didn’t feel like he was fully himself, not to anyone he knew - not even his friends.

Could he really call them his friends if they didn’t know who he truly was, if he couldn’t share his attraction to boys like the others shared their crushes on girls and their flings? Maybe it wasn’t fair to think of them as near strangers, it was not their fault that he didn’t feel ready to talk about it. They had all been there for him his entire childhood and he still wasn’t ready. That was on him.

On the other hand, York presented him with a new opportunity, a chance to live his true life and finally get a boyfriend. That’s all he wanted, just - someone to cuddle with. Ok, also other stuff, but he wanted a proper boyfriend. It didn’t hurt to start looking now though.

Phil sat up and reached for his laptop, lifting the screen and connecting to the internet. He clicked on the Explorer icon and waited for everything to load for a few minutes. He logged into a random Yahoo chat room as per usual and greeted the 60 strangers chatting and sending emojis in the hopes of catching someone’s attention.

Snowdude: Hi. Anyone around 18? ;)

A private window popped up immediately.

DanTheMan: hi snowdude XD i’m dan

Snowdude: Hi. als?

DanTheMan: 16/m/reading. u?

Phil hesitated for a moment. It wasn’t often that dudes messaged him. Still, “Dan” was too young and still in school. Well, he didn’t have anything better to do than speak to him.

Snowdude: 18 m York. Are you in school?

DanTheMan: yeah just the A lvls to go. What’s ur favourrtie game?

Phil’s eyebrows shot up at the typo and he snorted.

Snowdude: Final Fantasy 7 is ace.

DanTheMan: ace XD favourite show?

Snowdude: Buffy obviously. What is this, an interview? What’s your favourite subject in school?

DanTheMan: ouch, geography and psych and theatre.

Snowdude: hate geo, you act?

DanTheMan: don’t laugh. i always have but i’m cool.

Snowdude: nothing wrong with it. I’m a terrible actor.

Looking at his ceiling, Phil felt bad for making Dan feel insecure by bringing up school, pointedly marking their age difference. He knew what it was like to be looked down upon by the older kids. He quickly typed another message.

Snowdude: I signed up to art because I thought it would be easy and almost failed. Seems like i suck at art.

DanTheMan: ROFL. ur weird.

DanTheMan: let’s be friends.

Snowdude: Lesbifriends

DanTheMan: forget it lol. I regret asking.

Snowdude: noooooooooooo

DanTheMan: i have to go my mums calling. add me on msn i’m [email protected]

Snowdude: Rawr xD. ACe. Good luck with homework

DanTheMan: fuckoff with your capitalistion and good grammra ttyl

And just like that, Dan exited their chat. Phil smiled and logged into MSN, hesitating only for a second before adding his new friend.

Ian opened their conversation with a buzz as per usual and invited him over to play games with the girls. He hesitated, but another notification popped up and it brought a smile to his face.

GoThic chiK (Anja): coming or not phL?

Phil rolled his eyes, at least Anja would be there and even if he didn’t like girls like that, Anja was always cool. She was like a girl, but also not. Well, she was a girl of course, but she felt like a guy, but not - like him. He didn’t fit in as the kind of man his dad wanted to see in his son and Anja didn’t impress her mother either. Maybe they were losers but they still had each other.

Phil Strikr: omw Annie tell Ian

GoTik chiK (Anja): told you to stop butcherin ma name.

Phil laughed and sent her a buzz before logging out and getting into his favourite blue jeans and a green T-shirt.

The night went by in a breeze, with loads of pizza, drinking and a few rounds of TEG that ended in disaster. He mostly enjoyed it until the topic of dating came up yet again. All the guys had some sort of girlfriend or arrangement and Phil had barely anything to show for. For the umpteenth time, Phil considered coming out to them but he could never bring himself to do it. Maybe one of these days when he was drunk enough.

“Phil, Phil!” Someone said.

Anja snapped her fingers in front of his eyes, startling him and causing him to drop the dice he had been shaking for who knows how long. “Mate, what is it with you today?”

“Uh, nothing. I was just thinking about Buffy,” he said.

Anja gave him a look that let him know she was not buying it, but the rest rolled their eyes and continued with their conversation. For a moment Phil thought he was off the hook but Ian looked at him expectantly.

“What?” Phil asked.

Ian sighed heavily. “Sandra asked about you again, mate. When are you going to ask her out?”

Phil tried not to look like a deer caught in the headlights. “I think it would be weird to date your cousin, we are like brothers at this point.”

Ian snorted and shook his head. “We are like brothers but not actually. It’s not like incest or anything.”

“Ew, don’t say that,” Phil said, paling at the thought of Sandra and her wandering hands. He was not going to repeat the mistake of asking her out. One sloppy kiss was more than enough.

Richard, Noah and Keith laughed at the face he pulled but Ian merely smiled at him.

“Oi! Phil is mine, let him be,” Anja said, shuffling closer to him and resting her hand on his thigh.

Phil’s eyes widened but she gave him a small wink before looking back at their friends.

“What? Are you his girlfriend now?” asked Richard with a frown.

“Yeah,” she said, looking uncomfortable at the question. Anja didn’t like Richard like that, she loved him as a friend, but he had a huge crush on her and he was terrible at hiding it. Phil didn’t need to read her mind to know she didn’t want to break his heart or risk their friendship but it was bound to happen eventually.

Wrapping his arm around Anja’s waist loosely, he set his head on her shoulder. “Tell Sandra I’m taken,” Phil said and Anja relaxed against him, letting her head gently rest on his.

Richard looked disappointed but didn’t press the issue any further.

Eventually, the board games stopped being fun and the alcohol ran out so they declared the party over. As soon as Phil said goodbye and stood from his spot Anja followed him, making the others laugh and howl at them, half whispering about what they were going to do in Phil’s bedroom.

Once they were out, Phil turned to look at her. “Do you want me to walk you home?” He asked, hopefully.

“Nah, I was expecting to crash in your bed.” She began the walk back home and Phil followed her.

“What?” Phil squeaked.

Anja laughed and turned towards him, but her eyes looked a bit misty. “Don’t be daft, it’s not that.” She poked him gently, looking into his eyes. “I just feel sad and I don’t wanna be alone right now. I know I can trust you like that.”

“Alright,” Phil said, still walking at her side. “Do you want to talk about it? What happened?”

Anja looked away from him, her eyes focusing on the moon for a moment as she spoke. “I was dating someone but they are not sure about it anymore and it sucks.”

Phil stopped walking and pulled her into a hug. “An- you know you can tell me anything, come stay with me too.”

“I know.” She returned the hug tightly only for a moment before stepping back. “Come on!” She said, grabbing his hand and pulling him along. “Kath will be fuming if we are not there before midnight.”

He snorted and laced their fingers together. “I’ll tell my mum you call her Kath behind her back one day, you know?”

“Meh,” Anja shrugged. “She loves me. I’ll live.”

They stayed silent for most of the 20 minute walk home and had to sneak in, but soon enough they were in his room. Phil gave Anja a big T-shirt and a pair of joggers and slipped into his own pyjamas while she changed in the bathroom.

Five minutes later they were looking up at the ceiling as they lay under the covers in the small bed.

“Hey, Phil?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think Richard will get over his crush eventually?”

Phil turned on his side to look at her. “Probably, he has gotten over the others.”

She nodded. “Are you seeing anyone that you haven’t told us about?” she asked in a drastic change of topic.

Phil sputtered. “As if anyone would be interested.”

“You have pretty eyes and perfect eyebrows. I wish I had your eyebrows,” Anja said. “You should dye your hair black though, it would make your eyes pop.”

“I don’t know… Would you do it for me?”

“Of course, ginge,” She laughed.

“I’m not a ginger!” Phil whined.

“Course not.” She poked at his stomach. “Good night.”

“Good night, An,” he said and shut his eyes, letting sleep claim him.

---

It was a weird summer. Anja remained sad for the majority of it but refused to talk about her boyfriend, choosing to focus on giving Phil an extreme makeover instead. She dyed his hair black, took him to the mall to pick up black skinny jeans and to the stylist that had given her her emo haircut to tame his mane.

By the end of it, Phil had perfected a nice image for his MySpace page. He had even ventured into eyeliner for some pictures when he’d gotten bored waiting for Anja to get ready for a party. He’d enjoyed the results and even Ian and the guys said it looked cool on him. Even Dan thought he looked really cool when he saw the pics.

He got to talk to Dan quite a few times as well before going off to uni and caught up with life. It was amazing to learn that they were actually super compatible, liking many of the same games, music and shows. The best part was that Dan said there was a chance he would go to York like him so they could hang out and Phil liked the sound of that, even if Dan was still a full year away from it. Dan was honestly super cool and Phil really had come to consider him a friend in the last few months so it would be super fun to have someone close to hang out and play games with. It sounded like a great plan.

Daydreaming about their potential meet-up was a nice distraction from Dan’s home life, which seemed to be in constant turmoil as Phil came to find over time. There was a reason Dan barely mentioned his younger brother and he had vaguely complained about his father’s rage issues, so Phil always let Dan talk first, and let whatever was troubling him be aired so that he could offer his support or advice if it was needed. Phil also shared some of his issues and insecurities, but his problems were not nearly as bad as Dan’s so he tried to keep things on the positive side and help Dan out.

But Phil wasn’t expecting to catch Dan in a lie only weeks later. As it turned out, Dan had never been 16, he was a 14 year old kid. It was a silly lie, but it still hurt Phil, so he asked Dan to never lie to him again. Dan was very apologetic and begged him not to break their friendship, which Phil had briefly considered, but decided against, especially because of the kind of bullying Dan suffered at school on the regular. After the initial shock had worn off, Phil reassured him that they could be friends, even if they would have to be long distance.

Dan deserved to have supportive friends. He needed someone to be there for him and Phil knew he could be that someone. At an appropriate distance, of course.

It was a bit of a rough patch between them, but after they had resolved the issue, life went on as usual. Phil dived head first into his uni life and there were so many changes. He moved into the dorm and met new people at uni, but sadly, he wasn’t able to stay in touch with his friends back home as much as he’d have liked due to his schedule. In a way, he had inadvertently severed most contact with his life back home, but no matter how much things changed, some stayed the same: his lack of a love life and being trapped in the closet.

He decided that it was time to take his life by the horns and that marked the beginning of a new chapter for him, an exploring phase of sorts. After some consideration, he opened a profile on a dating website, hoping to find a nice guy he could date. His new look did seem to help a lot, but his popularity applied mostly to MySpace. The dating scene seemed a bit dry, or maybe he was just too awkward. There weren't a bunch of messages flooding his inbox by any means.

To be honest, he was starting to get really discouraged, thinking he would never meet someone, but his luck finally changed on a mighty weekend when in a hidden corner of a pub, he got his first taste of freedom. He was blonde and tall and three years older than Phil and his lips were on Phil’s, quickly taking him to heaven, making his blood rush south and his stomach tingle. His hands were inside Phil’s T-shirt and struggling with his jeans’ zipper in less than five minutes. It wasn’t too rough or something that Phil didn’t want, but the speed of it all scared him a bit. It was too much too soon and he wasn’t ready even though he wanted to be, so he took a step back and apologised.

“I’m sorry,” he said, still trying to catch his breath. “Listen, I’m not out yet, not even to my friends back home, my new uni friends or my roommates.”

The guy nodded and smiled at him. “That’s alright,” he said. “Could I get your phone number? Maybe we can meet up some other time.”

Phil nodded and saved it in the other’s phone, but he was not going to trick himself into thinking he was going to get a text. His chances were slim.

They parted ways with a quick kiss, which surprised Phil. He let out a deep sigh as he watched the blonde disappear into the crowd and surveyed the pub in search of his friends.

Towering over most people did come in handy and allowed him to locate his roommates in under a minute. Phil tried to put on a brave smile as he made his way to them and accepted a beer, taking a zip and groaning at the bitter taste. It was performative and he knew it, but he didn’t know what else to do, so he followed along with what everyone was doing. He got drunk - and even made out with a girl briefly just out of boredom.

He felt nothing, nothing at all, but his roommates cheered him on and the girl seemed happy enough.

That made one of them.

Once back in his room, Phil put his phone to charge and turned it on. There were a few missed calls and texts from Dan, asking if he was free to talk. Phil got a bad feeling about it and tried to call him but Dan didn’t pick up. Maybe it was too late and he had fallen asleep. Biting the inside of his cheek, Phil hesitated before sending a text.

“I’m sorry I missed your calls, I was out until just now and my phone had died X.x . I’m free to talk in the morning!”

Phil lay in bed for what seemed like forever, the room spinning a bit around him, as he thought about the blonde guy, the boring night, the girl he kissed - and Dan. He wished he would have stayed home and talked to Dan, maybe played some games, or talked about school. It was sad that he got along better with a 14 year old than his own friends. What did that say about him? He fell into a fitful night of sleep just as the sun rose above the clouds.

The talk with Dan didn’t come the next day, or the following one. In fact, Dan stopped replying entirely for over a week and Phil’s stomach was twisted into knots. Over twenty messages unanswered could only mean bad news, right?

The following weekend, Phil sent yet another text: “Please, Dan. Just let me know that you are ok.”

Ten minutes later, his phone finally vibrated. “im ok. stop.”

Phil’s eyes welled up with tears. “I’m so sorry, Dan. I’ve been worried about you. I went out and had so many calls and missed texts, I thought something had happened and you needed to talk. It’s ok if you don’t want to, I just didn’t want you to think that I didn’t care. Sorry I missed your call.”

His screen lit up with a call immediately and Dan’s raspy voice greeted him on the other side. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s ok,” Phil said, trying to calm himself down, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. He swallowed thick and attempted a small smile, even if Dan could not see it. “What did you want to talk about?”

Dan was silent for a moment, but then he let out a tired sigh. “Nothing much, it’s fine.”

“You can tell me, you know you can,” Phil said with a frown.

“Last weekend I went to the mall and I had some problems with the usual shitheads…” he trailed off.

“Did they throw rocks at you again?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t care. And on Monday -” Dan paused.

“What happened on Monday?” Phil asked, frowning at the pain he could hear in Dan’s voice.

“One of the idiots grabbed me by the neck and slapped me for like 5 minutes,” Dan mumbled. “And I know what you’re going to say, one of the teachers saw and did nothing. He even laughed.”

“Dan,” Phil said, his heart breaking for his friend. “I’m so sorry, you don’t deserve any of that. I wish I could be there to help you.”

“It’s fine,” Dan said in a monotone voice. “I didn’t react, I didn’t want to give them that satisfaction.”

“It takes a lot of courage not to fight back. You were very brave.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Dan muttered. “Almost gave them another satisfaction.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m so tired sometimes, you know? Just so tired.” Then, Dan cleared his throat. “Anyway, I’ve been staying with my grandma since Tuesday, so I’m ok.”

Phil had to clear his throat too, trying not to get choked up by what Dan was implying. “You have to get good grades so you can get into uni and we can hang out, ok?”

Dan snorted. “As if you would hang out with me. You’re cool and I’m just a 14 year old loser.”

“You’re not a loser. You’re kind, and funny, and one of the coolest people I know. I know that one day you will be a great guy. Maybe you’ll be a famous actor, like you’ve always wanted.”

“Yeah… maybe,” Dan said. “Wanna play Mario Kart later? I have homework.”

Phil looked at the time, it was already late, but a few races wouldn’t hurt. “Sure. Text me when you’re done.”

“Thanks, Phil,” Dan said and Phil could picture a little smile on his face.

“No problem. See you later.”

“Yeah. Hey, can I follow your MySpace?” Dan asked.

“You can follow me anywhere,” Phil said. “We are friends.”

“Yeah, ok,” Dan snorted. “See you later, Philly.”

Phil rolled his eyes and hung up the phone.

Letting out a deep sigh, he decided to do the “adult thing” and study a little more for the exam he had the following morning so that he could join Dan online later. It was not a lot, but he felt better now that Dan knew Phil was on his side and he cared.

That night, Phil stayed on his DS until 4, but he managed to get a passing grade on the exam anyway. He rewarded himself with a 10 hour nap afterwards.

All through his first term at uni, Phil tried his best to keep in touch with Dan, but with his tight study schedule, the weekends pretending to be straight and attempting to not stress himself half to death with his new chaotic life, it was getting increasingly difficult.

Before long, Phil had to make a drastic choice. Something needed to change and he knew exactly what was the worst stressor for him: his straight-sex-maniac persona. And so it was decided.

He invited his four roommates to their very limited common space and paced in the square foot of floor he had available to himself waving his hands around without uttering a word until one of the guys asked if he was ok.

No, Phil was not ok at all, he was nearly crawling up the wall, so instead of giving a carefully planned and rehearsed speech, he stopped short of the wall, turned around and said: “I lied… I am not super experienced, I don’t have a lot of sex experience. In fact, I have zero experience, because… because I’m gay. I’m sorry that I lied, I just wanted you guys to like me, you are all so cool. I wanted to be your friend. I didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand. I-”

Peter got up from the armrest of the sofa, causing Phil to take a step back just in case, and gave him a hard pat on the shoulder. “It’s ok. We are all figuring things out,” he said. “Also, Sarah will be happy to know that you are not disgusted by her presence, you’re just thick as all fuck and gay. Right, Sarah?”

“You like me?” Phil squeaked, turning towards the popular blonde girl. She was super nice and also pretty, but she was still not a guy, so there was not even a chance.

“I do. I did, but it’s ok. We can be friends,” she said with a smile.

“We can?” Phil croaked.

Sarah nodded. “You’re a good guy, Phil. Why wouldn’t I want to be your friend? And the fact that you are not opposed to a little makeup also plays in your favour.”

Peter clapped once and rushed to the fridge. He got the Malibu out of the freezer, messily pouring the alcohol into various glasses and mugs and other liquid-holding implements before turning around to face the group and raising his glass. “To Phil, the gayest emo York has ever seen - and a good friend too!” He downed his drink without waiting for anyone else.

Sarah walked over to the kitchenette and grabbed a shot glass, raising it towards Phil with an encouraging smile. “Cheers,” she said and downed her drink. She then passed a repurposed laundry detergent cap full of Malibu to Phil.

“Thank you,” he said, hoping that his eyes could convey the gratitude he felt. “Cheers,” he said and drank the entire thing.

Jimmy and Callan, who had been quiet until now, stood from the sofa and grabbed a mug each, raising them to Phil.

“To Phil, the gay emo,” said Callan with a smirk.

“We can still be friends even if you’re gay and your willy is bigger than all of ours,” Jimmy said with a nod and necked his drink.

Phil laughed. “Stop talking about my dick, Jimmy. You saw nothing!”

“I will when it stops looking back at me every time you sit,” Jimmy cackled.

Phil threw the laundry detergent cap at his head, hitting the target and causing the group to laugh. Hours later, he crawled into his tiny bed and felt the effects of all the alcohol he had consumed rock him gently, like the waves in the sea. He let out a sigh of relief, a smile appearing on his lips as he remembered how the night had started. His coming out had been awkward but still a success. Now he could truly be himself, at least in York, and he couldn’t wait until he was able to live his life fully everywhere.

#phanfic #phanfiction #phan #succubusphan fics #dan and phil #phan au #ospbb 2023

11 notes · View notes

se-07spaceoreos · 2 years

Text

Nighttime Routine Times Two

Summary:

Nighttime routine times two, because there was just me. Now there’s you.

Words: 1357

Warnings: None (Besides the fact that I know nothing about what I just wrote? Yeah none. Also I’m pretty sure some ppl rip face masks to make them fit better? Idk tho)

(I wanted to post this at night but I got impatient)

Digital Library (other stuff)

One of the things I pride myself about is my nighttime routine. How even if I’m tired, I always start at 9:30

Taking showers every other day so my scalp stays healthy, but body showers everyday so I feel clean, this is my nighttime routine.

Remove make-up (if I have it on)

Make-up drys out your skin, it can also clog your pores, stain your pillowcases, bed sheets, so wiping it off especially with something that doesn’t cause my skin to be more dry is important, for my pillowcases and my pores.

Cleanser

Cleansing, ridding my face and neck of the dirt and sebum, and also getting rid of the residue that my wipes can’t get.

Shower

Do I really have to explain this?

Apply toner

Used to soften the skin and level out pH levels, used to rid of oils and hydrate the skin.

Wait 60 seconds

Next is serum

Apply serum

Helps firm the skin, also helps with break outs.

Wait 60 seconds

Then moisturizer

Apply moisturizer

Helps repair “damage” while giving the skin nutrients. Although it just do I for the nutritional benefit, damaged or not skin is still skin, skin is beautiful.

Wait 60 seconds

And the part before the finish, eye cream.

Apply eye cream

With the skin around the eyes being the thinnest, they tend to wrinkle faster. Not that that’s a problem but if I could look 20 in my late 30s then why not? Though all ages tend to have their own beauty.

Then my favorite part, turn on a movie and put on a mask.

Well I used to think that was my favorite part. Maybe that was my favorite part when I was alone, but I’m not alone anymore, and this was proven when one night I caught two pairs of two different shades of green watching me , well my reflection.

Hair wet from our shower there she was, with an old t-shirt on leaning on the bathroom door frame.

She looked like she was in a trance watching me, I almost didn’t want to break it. “Yes, babe?”

Catching my gaze in the mirror and getting startled with my question Natashas face heated to a tint of red, looking down at Liho, she started running her fingers through her fur, “Nothing, Um. I just like watching you.”

Looking down at the cat she was holding I noticed unlike Natasha Liho never took her eyes of me, “Looks like Liho likes watching me too.”

This made her look up, flushing a brighter tint of red that I felt my face heat up itself.

“Would you like to join me?” Giving me a confused look instead of an answer I asked her once again “Would you like to join me, love. I have more than enough.”

Making my way towards her I grabbed Liho out of her hold and put her on the ground, grabbing Natasha’s scarred hands I brought her to where I was, exactly where I was, and got up on the bathroom counter, her body in between my legs. Pulling her closer I started where I was in my nighttime routine, applying toner, “Close those eyes of yours, I’m gonna put this on your face, okay?” Nodding she closed her eyes, her head leaning into the hand that was cradling her, my other applying the toner, my heart trying not to burst, me trying not to kiss her. She whispered “What are you doing?” Biting back a smile I murmured back “Applying toner” Putting down the cotton ball I was using on her face, I counted to 60 in my head. Opening those eyes of hers and giving me a small smile, her smile, she asks “what now?” “Now we wait”

“Now we apply serum” reaching to grab the bottle behind me Natasha moved her hands from the counter to gripped my hips, making sure I didn’t lean back to far and hit the mirror behind me, “I already have serum” flexing her arms I felt her squeeze a little more, “haha, funny. Now stay still, and close you eyes, please” Doing as told with a smile on her face she started rubbing her thumbs up and down, causing me to smile too.

Letting my fingers glide across her skin she asks me with closed eyes, “What’s this again?” Smiling with my face already done I answered “Moisturizer, love”. “It kinda feels gross” I laughed and cupped her face with both my hands “I know” she opened her eyes studying my face like it was the first time, I did as well. “It takes some time to get used to”. Finally making eye contact, little hints of joy started showing on both our faces “Now what?”

“Eye cream” she gave me a confused smile, “Eye cream?” Chucking I slid my hands down her face and around her neck, “Yes, eye crea-“ before I could finish my sentence I was interrupted by a meow “Meeeowww~” Looking to the bottom corner of the door frame sat Liho, I guess she hadn’t moved from the spot I put her. “I guess she wants to join?” Looking back at Natasha I gave relaxed sigh “Does she now?” “Yep” Looking at a now vocal Liho once more, an idea popped into my head, “I think I might have something” giving me a curious looked with her eyebrows knotted and smile apparent, I tapped Natasha’s arm twice letting her know I wanted off the counter, with hesitance she helped me down. “I’ll be back in a minute”.

With us both staring at a purring Liho who was now content on the couch Natasha let out a huff, “I didn’t think that’d actually work” grabbing her hands I started leading her to our spot “I know right? I knew she’d stay still enough to let me put the cucumbers on her eyes but to actually let them stay on? She stopped meowing too. Spoiled kitty”. Seating her on the couch I grabbed the remote and started shuffling through movies, asking Natasha for her input. “Are we done now?” With a smirk on my face I picked a movie and picked up two packets for face masks, “No we actually have one more thing, don’t sound so sad. I like to think you enjoyed this” handing her a packet I opened my own and applied it, making certain adjustments and getting it my first try, muscle memory. Quick to correct me she blurted out “I do! I do enjoy this, honestly it seemed kinda short”

Short? Doing this routine on one person took up time, don’t even ask about two. Turning I have a quizzical look “Short?”

Her face was once tinted red again, but not in the same manner as before, and that bothered me. She gave all her attention to fiddling with her unfolded face mask at hand, letting out a quiet but heard “I don’t know. I guess it just seemed kinda short, to me? Never mind”, observing her more I scooted closer to her, taking the face mask out of her fidgeting hands. She kept her gaze down the whole time until I straddled her, finally looking up she gave me a questioning look. “You’re not ripping in the right spots, love. Let me.” Laying the mask on her face I murmured “If you wanted to spend more time with me you could have just asked” face flushing once again she whispered back like if she said it too loud it would break the moment “We spend so much time together I didn’t think it’d make sense to ask for more.” Lifting her chin getting her to look to me I gave her a small reassuring smile “Love, I’ll give all my time to you until my times all spent” At that her eyes flickered down to my lips. “Okay?” “Okay.” Leaning forward our lips met, in a slow kiss.

“What part of the routine is this?” She asked when we both lent back. Smiling against her lips, my hands playing with the hairs on the nape of her neck, I murmured “My favorite part”.

#natasha romanov #natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #natalia romanova #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x you #natalia romanova x reader #Natasha romanoff fluff

82 notes · View notes

corvarrow · 6 months

Text

Alright, I couldn't decide how to best present my thoughts about this art challenge, so here's just a summary screenshot to start with - if you would like to see the big versions with the lore you can check out my tag, and the actual list itself is here!

And without further ado, here are my thoughts on this art challenge and finishing it!

Things that helped me finish the challenge

Taking a break day (or two) a week – I have a day job so this was absolutely required to not burn out, lol

Having a theme – This was nor originally intentional, but keeping it worldbuilding related really helped me come up with ideas as there were several prompts where I was just coming up with nothing otherwise.

Small canvas size – These are all fairly small - it was a 6x6 pad. Originally thought it was going to be too small, but ended up being perfect. Since I opted to do full blown scenes I don’t think I would have finished otherwise

Limited Palette/Materials – I learned this from completing previous challenges, but the fewer decisions I have to make the easier it is to do these. This one happened to actually be ink (see materials section) but I have done challenge before with like, "single set of markers"

Displaying the Art – I didn’t like having a loose stack of completed pictures, so I bought a 6x6 photo album to store them in. This was a great decision as they look very cool in there I was very motivated to complete the set

Completion Stickers - Yes, I am 2 years old. I had a paper list where I was putting stickers next to each word as I completed it, and it was very satisfying >_>a

Stuff I liked

Able to practice a medium - Yeah by the end I was feeling way more confident with ink and different techniques (wet on wet, wet on dry, etc)

Got to practice scenes and lighting – I even fit in a ton of OC cameos

Posted all pieces regardless of quality - Although this was not my first list-based challenge it is the first one I posted ALL pieces for

Got some fun pieces to revisit later - There are quite a few I REALLY like for different reasons so it would be fun to do them again later, but spend more time

Kept a consistent quality for the whole challenge - It was tempting to "get lazy" at the end but I think I managed to keep the same general quality the entire time

Used up a bunch of pages in a sketchbook I’m not overly fond of by doing tons of thumbnails - To be quite honest, if I have a sketchbook I hate enough (because the paper is bad or whatever) I will often uh, dismantle them. 8Da; I am not overly fond of the one I'm currently using, but now there's only about 14 pages left so, I will persevere.

Stuff I didn’t like

Time commitment required - Even with the breaks, I was spending almost all evening for 5 weeks working on these, which was a little Much for me. I will have to rethink my approach to any future challenges.

Using WIP designs/Not being able to spend a lot of time on anything – There’s a couple pieces where I wanted to go a certain direction and had to go with Vibes rather than accuracy for the sake of getting it done….which is fine, some of them turned out nice regardless. However would have still liked to hammer things out a little more.

Materials Used

Artsnacks Inktober Box, with some modifications - Something you should know about Artsnacks, is that often the colored materials will be the brand shown, but the color you actually receive will be random. Luckily, I got an Orange ink. Unfortunately, I also have terrible luck with PH Martin’s Orange in that it always separates no matter how much I mix it, so partway through the challenge I replaced it with a Daler Rowney Flame Orange Ink. This is a VERY similar ink, the only difference I really saw was that when diluted a lot it leaned more yellow. Additionally I did not use the blue Faber Castel Pitt pen in the box. TECHNICALLY I could have made green for all those plant pictures, but I refused for the sake of keeping a cohesive Black/Orange color scheme

Ranger Craft-It! Heat Gun - I would not have been able to finish had I not been able to speed up the drying time with this thing, it is the best

Lots of background noise - My noise of choice was a mix between scary cave and cave diving stories, as well as the White Vault podcast, which is a fictional horror audio drama

Bonus Round: Number of OC Appearances

Tower: x4

Torch: x4 (one of them in his plantbeast form)

Cavi: x3

Mady: x1 (also the only non-sion in this list)

Team "New/WIP OCs" -

Aki: x5 (one of them as a doll)

Jas: x2

Aki's sibling (final name pending): x1 (as a statue)

#cvlostkingdoms #art challenge #art challenge thoughts #long post #my art #ink art #art thoughts

2 notes · View notes

jellybeanium124 · 8 months

Text

generations are stupid obviously but fr we need to talk about the difference between the 97-05'ers and 06-12'ers because one of those groups still grew up with vhs tapes and dvds and phones with keyboards and remember corded house phones and one of those groups grew up with ipads and tiktok (obviously there's no clear line but as someone who has interacted a lot with my fellow zers I stg there is some kind of cutoff starting in 06 like up to 05 they feel like My People and then starting younger than that it's Different, maybe that'll change as we get older idk but that's where my split between Older zers and Younger zers is rn). like I'll never forget when I was a camp counselor in summer 2021 and I (19, born 2002) wowed one of my campers (12, born 2008-2009) with the concept of satellite TV having 3 several-minute ad breaks per episode of television, while he was used to 30 second ads at the start of episodes of his anime with no breaks in the middle. like I think there's something to be said about the difference between people who remember getting their first screen and people who don't. the way I see most adults millennials and up talk about gen z they forget the 97-05'ers and only talk about the gen zers who are still children and say stuff like "unalive" and don't realize the 90s was the age of flavor blasted ph of 2 sour candy. I mean there's something to be said about people being slow to catch up with the effects of time, I remember people thinking I was a millennial as a teen because they couldn't wrap their head around the fact that millennials were adults now, and now the same thing is happening to gen z where people forget a good chunk of us are adults now, as old as 26. anyways that has been my rant post please remember a good chunk of gen z are adults now

#rant post #nina rambles #I hate being upset about this because it's a stupid af thing to be upset about but here we are

6 notes · View notes

anachrosims · 2 years

Text

This is probably going to make people unfollow but w/e.

I really want to do a couple stories, especially one about Alice as a queen and Arthur as her twin brother, Duke of Wessex.

Buuuuut...

Part of my hesitance in joining in r*yal s*ms stuff is because I strongly disagree with some members of the community on how to feel about real life royalty--Pr*nce Ph*lip, for example. I already made a statement back after his death, but essentially: While I do feel it is important to be respectful of others, I cannot respect OR excuse people like him (and that includes most of the BRF). I’m glad he’s gone. It means there’s one less racist imperialist in the world and I am FINE with that. I’m not going to make excuses for a racist relative and I certainly won’t do it for one of the leeches siphoning money from our friends across the pond.

The other reason is my stance on historical representation of multiple socio-economic classes and how that relates to “accuracy.” In short: I have a major problem with people who complain about the “accuracy” of other people’s games but choose to ignore less than glamorous aspects of whatever era they’re particularly fond of. I’m not saying someone needs to put sl*very and s*xual *ssault in their game. I’m also not saying someone shouldn’t play/make CC/whatever for their specific interests.

What I’m saying is, don’t throw stones while living in a glass house. If you’re going to complain about someone’s accuracy or lack thereof, why not help produce more CC that can reflect more about an era than the elite at the top? Because like it or not, that kind of behavior is hypocritical and historical revisionism and gatekeepy as hell to people who are new to historical fashion and culture. I’m just not down with that attitude.

(EDIT: If you want to jive with that and you don’t think it’s wrong, honestly, you do you. I don’t want to tell anyone what they can/can’t do in-game. But keep it in your game/friends circle. Constant scrutiny and negativity are way more harmful than you might think. We were all brand new to our various interests at some point, and it wouldn’t kill someone to remember how that feels. As for me, I’m just saying I don’t want to put up with/engage with that.)

That’s part of why I’m trying to make an 18th century military campaign set, and why I’d like to make a catch-all 19th century one as well... despite the fact that I’m worried the sets will be flops because they’re not fancy/luxe enough.

To be honest, I’m only posting about this because I really want to engage with different parts of this community. But I’m afraid to, because I’m really tired of petty bullshit. As an amateur historian, as a gamer and creator, I just want to vibe and make friends. And idk how to engage with the historical and/or royal parts of the community anymore.

59 notes · View notes

csmeaner · 1 year

Text

Yeah, Kid's Always Been This Way

post related

LMAO, where have you guys been with the Kid stuff? He’s always been sensitive about his donut steel species. He’s quiet about it now for the most part because whiteknights will step in for him and his words get “used against” him (ie he says something that reveals he’s not as nice as he pretends to be). He used to have to post journals like this one where he had to pretend he wasn’t big mad: archive(.)ph(/)XrgmM.

The Current Stance

Sorry that the fucking Skire site has eye-burning colors right now, but I wanted to show the current rules: https://archive.ph/bpiUG

How insanely jealous and selfish do you have to be to have this paragraph in your rules?

If a species is found to fit the bill of a Copy-CCCat/”Off brand” species, please alert a mod. The mod team is open to helping other species owners create concepts that differ from the Skire blueprint.

The entire “off brand” section of the rules is gold. How is an offbrand CCCat going to create an unsafe environment since one would be booted from the group the moment it’s detected? And anyone who dared to associate with the dirty offbrander would also be marked (and therefore will stay away)? Furthermore, it’s almost 2023 and everyone knows you check the ML before trading and art thieves are sniffed out and snuffed out faster than ever.

Even worse, this is a species that didn’t figure out people were abusing co-owns until 2020. Worried about safety, my ass.

Just be honest, Kid: you don’t want anyone on your turf. You want to be the only one selling designs that look remotely like CCCats so you can overcharge. You are a little tyrant, is what you are.

Oh, and Another Thing

A Copy-CCCat can get you “hard greylisted”. What other behaviors can get you on such a list? The claim is it’s mainly for offbranders but let’s see what else could get you on that list (because these are also mentioned in the rules):

1. Theft (art, money, etc)

2. Stalking/other aggressive behavior

3. Ban evading

You go right to the circle of hell with thieves, stalkers, and sockpuppeters.

You don’t want to be on the same list as people like that, do you? Of course not! And it’d make poor Kid uncomfortable and hurt his feelings to have to greylist you, so please open your walle–er, heart, and be a good community member!

eyeless parasite cats soooooo unique/s

#screenshots #submission #skire

3 notes · View notes

waywardsalt · 1 year

Text

the link to the past manga is decent. making agahnim more of his own character is good, making him a lot more interesting. ghanti is an ok addition, though the quick pace of link’s collection of pendants causes things to fall apart a little bit. the tower of hera is given one page. all of the dark world dungeons are pretty much skipped over save for snippets explaining the bosses. the dark world looks cool when you get to see it, but since its so shortened in the manga, you don’t get much. it’s a shame. this one starts off good and the stuff with agahnim and the art, but kind of slides down the slippery slope of streamlining the story just to make it fit.

#salty talks #bitching about the loz manga #also have not played alttp but this one was good too ig #i dont. care about ghanti? idk what purpose she serves being added aside from being a vaguely interesting character #shes not bad but. eh #i did not play alttp all the way. i don't really know what's missing. i can only guess based on my experience with albw #but the first half is good #and then the dark world segment is less than half the book #isnt the dark world segment pretty long? this is again based off my playing albw but like. arent there more dungeons? isnt it longer?#whatever. this one is fine it at least shouldve been two volumes #also the stuff with the flute (ocarina) kid was neat.#next one is ph and that one is uh. going to be different! i might go chapter-by-chapter and tear into it that way #until then (i might take some time before posting a ph manga review) if you wanna talk to me abt the loz manga feel free to send an ask #like if you want to talk about something i didnt mention in a post then hey! you can ask me abt it or tell me smth you like or dislike

3 notes · View notes

sassydefendorflower · 1 year

Text

I posted 7,996 times in 2022

That's 5,372 more posts than 2021!

55 posts created (1%)

7,941 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@notteadrops

@awkwardalphajay

@blas-ph-emy

@fanfictiongreenirises

@elytrians

I tagged 1,115 of my posts in 2022

#unreality - 193 posts

#poppy war spoilers - 97 posts

#yes - 45 posts

#ask game - 21 posts

#goncharov - 16 posts

#poppy war - 12 posts

#fma - 12 posts

#fmab - 11 posts

#y e s - 11 posts

#my writing - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i think it needs to be remembered that critical thinking and suspense of disbelief are two completely different tools of engaging with media

My Top Posts in 2022:

I know Ice Pick Joe ultimately died to save Katya and break free from the circle of abuse, but I can’t help but weep for the cats he adopted throughout the film as a sign for his inner heart.

Like... I know it was part comic relief/much needed levity for a film as dark as Goncharov, but I really felt for Ice Pick Joe and his five adopted cats. Who do they have now? Ice Pick Joe is gone.

77 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

You know what always bothered me about this screenshot? That Ed’s clothes aren’t pinned back on his left side. We know it took almost a year before he had his automail surgery, recovered from it, and did the PT necessary to use his arm and leg to their full capacity again. During that time it would have been a tripping hazard to let his empty pant legs just fly around (same goes for the sleeves of long sleeved shirts).

So...

Headcanon Time :D

While Pinako and Winry did pin up the legs of his own pants, they never dared to do the same to Alphonse’s old clothes. Of course not. Not one of them wanted to acknowledge that Alphonse might no longer be able to wear them - Ed was much the same. Alphonse once said that they could give his clothes away and Ed yelled at him until he had to stop or cry.

At the same time... Alphonse hated how nobody was using his stuff anymore, all the things he had once loved but now could no longer feel. So, since these two brothers would do anything for each other, he asked Ed for a favor: he asked Ed to wear his old clothes.

And Ed said yes. Of course, he did.

He needed this reminder of Alphonse’s humanity just as much as Al did. He wanted to feel close to his baby brother, to the brother he felt responsible for. So, quite often, he wore Al’s clothes in the year that followed the incident. And since neither Winry nor Pinako would touch these almost sacred clothes, they never got altered the way Ed’s wardrobe was following the loss of his limbs.

Later, when Ed joined the military, he gave up on wearing Al’s clothes for two reasons:

a) since Ed had actually grown at least a bit between his eleventh birthday and his twelfth and Al’s clothes were growing to small

and

b) he didn’t want the military to soil his memory of Al - so, Ed chose a coat with the symbol of their teacher on the back and dark clothes he knew Al would never wear, and asked his brother to join him on their dangerous quest

104 notes - Posted November 18, 2022

You know what I find interesting about the Goncharov (1973) phenomena? Tumblr had the opportunity to make Goncharov and Mario or Andrey or Sergei explicitly gay - they had the chance to write the next cookie-cutter bland Gay Pairing that fits into the current fandom trends of ship hopping and washed out boring dudes... but they didn’t.

Yes, many people wrote homoerotic subtext for Katya and Sofia and for Goncharov and Andrey, people faked academic queer readings of this masterpiece or wrote about the subversion of toxic masculinity within the film...

But as a collective we decided that all of this would be subtext. We decided that Katya and Goncharov are married, and it might not even be a loveless marriage (the jury’s still out on that one) after all. We decided that it’s a tragedy with Goncharov being betrayed by his wife, and killed by Andrey (which is often read as a sign of love and commitment). We gave a side character the ability to break out of the narrative, Ice Pick Joe the only character who escapes the circle of violence while everyone else falls victim to the narrative - time is a flat circle, after all, and loss of identity and the inevitability of one’s fate are the central themes of this fake movie.

We could have turned it into a gay romcom or a mafia spoof or some flat reimagining of movies from a long time ago.... but we chose to turn it into something that is far rarer and more fun to analyze: a tragic tale of love and betrayal and queerness and the horrors of the cold war and lonliness and death and time.

Our reading of Goncharov (1973) is queer - but the movie itself isn’t.

(only that it is, because we created Goncharov and as such we are a part of its story)

192 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

Gentle reminder than Chen Kitay does know how to fight and is not a clumsy soft boy. He was good enough at material arts that he could have pledged combat if he hadn’t thrown his fight against Nezha - and he gave up because he knew Nezha would win either way and he didn’t want to get beat up.

Rin is the person who only sees Kitay for his good qualities and regularly forgets that he is a very capable soldier, even if his true worth places him in the war room.

But Chen Kitay can fight. And he will kill.

313 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Holy Server B@tman! Fanfic Rec List

Hello and welcome to a very special fanfic rec list!

The members of the amazing Holy Server B@tman! Server are an extremely talented bunch - many great artists and writers together in one place to foster each other’s creativity and joy to participate in fandom.

That has to be celebrated!

So, please welcome a list of stories our writers loved to create, their very own Greatest Hits!

(please click on your own discretion - you’ll find the appropriate warnings on ao3)

if you fall in, i’ll jump down by rutaceae @applejee

When boys like Tim are going missing in Gotham City, Cass pushes herself to the limit to solve the case before any more boys disappear, fearful that Tim himself will be a target. This doesn't work, and ends up with her captured instead.

Luka’s words: i would say this is my favourite because Cass has so many complex motivations, and i’m super proud of the way i wrote her here!! also women deserve whump too!

Asimov’s Integral by sElkieNight60 @selkienight60

Tim is an unwanted android, a Robo-Child. After being sent back by his parents, his last and only hope rests in the hands of a man still grieving the loss of his own son.

Selkie’s words: I like this fic because it inspired catharsis in so many people!

You Wing Some, You Lose Some by AuroraKant @sassydefendorflower

When Dick agreed to do this mission with Jason, he knew it would most likely include some physical pain - but waterboarding? Really? Dick hated getting waterboarded.

Aurora’s words: This was the most fun I had writing a Batfamily fic in a long time - especially since Jason and Dick are just such a funky brother dynamic to delve into!

I Must Leave, Right Now, Immediately by motleyfam @motleyfam

Tim splits his pants at a charity gala. To say that he’s expecting merciless teasing from his brothers is an understatement.

What he gets is… not that?

motley’s words: this fic was the most objectively fun for me to write and reading people’s reactions to the twist always makes me grin!

How Far Can We Go? by SilverSuperSpy @supersilversleuth

Dick closed his eyes, anguish tearing through him. “It won’t be enough. It’s impossible, Jay. We wouldn’t make it.”

“Well we have to try!” Jason shouted at him, betrayal in his eyes. “Did the Change suddenly make you stop caring about them? The Dick Grayson I know wouldn’t give up on his family.”

Silver’s words: I wrote some of my highest quality Dick Whump for it.

Something Left Unsaid by AshWinterGray

See the full post

655 notes - Posted October 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

2 notes · View notes

elegyofthemoon · 10 months

Text

on an unrelated note bc im not putting that w the rest of that post but reading d//gm and going between the different arcs makes me miss ph bc ph's transition into arcs feels so flawless and flows so well with each other bc they slow the pace down and allow for a good lead into the next arc. a calm before the storm to allow for rest and digest compared to this one that like slaps you back to back to back w stuff happening

AND ITS NOT TO SAY I DONT LIKE IT but its just like ghfjjf whoa things happening too fast gimme a sec to find my footing where the FUCK are we

#snow speaks #i miss ph yall..... pls read pandora hearts

0 notes

averycanadianfilm · 2 years

Text

AVeryCanadianFilm: Tshi's Journal Entry, Forward

A Very Canadian Film: Tshi's Journal Entry, Forward. Felt the need to re-blog this post (without the photos).

Felt the need to re-post this today June 28, 2022 Ottawa, CA 12:00pm.

This picture was taken, by a friend of mine, on Quadra island on Feb. 2006. (Actually I lost that photo because I move around so much, I've lost a lot of stuff, oh well, so it goes. This photo was taken in my friend's Yaletown apt. in Vancouver.) A lot has happened since then. My dreadlocks are longer, the world has changed, but I wonder, how much has the world really changed in the past 6000 years? This set of dreadlocks is the second growth. The first time I started growing dreadlocks was way back in the late 80's, I wanted them to grow immediately. I wanted to be able to snap my fingers and have long locks but of course it didn't happen that way. Dreadlock growth, teaches patience. I remember checking, it seemed like everyday, to see if they'd gotten any longer, they hadn't. Then I just let them grow and one day I noticed that my hair had grown past my shoulders, that was probably around '92 and I was a graduate student. The next time I noticed, my hair was well past my shoulders almost reaching my waist, that was probably around '94 and I had successfully defended my dissertation and was an Assistant Professor of Physics at the Colorado College. Way back then, the way I looked, given what I did to earn a living, was unusual, to say the least. When I walked down the street in Colorado Springs, people would sometimes stare. Some people would sometimes say "not nice things" or worse, yell "unkind" things from passing cars or trucks. Some people would yell "REALLY" unkind things from passing trucks with gun-racks. It never occurred to me to change the way I looked. When I walked down the street in New York, the experience was very different. Other people looked like me, it wasn't such a big deal, nobody yelled unkind things from passing vehicles. However, often, when I told people what I did, "for a living", many people, simply didn't believe me. It's a very strange thing to tell the truth and be called a liar. "A physicist, you say, a physics professor? Shoot, nigga, you ain't no professor, stop fronting". "A Ph. d? from where? Columbia? G., stop lying" That was way back in '96, things have changed since then. One day, way back, in probably '98, I woke up one morning and thought, "time to cut off my, then, very long dreadlocks". Time for a change. I had the feeling that big changes were happening and though I loved my dreadlocks and was so impatient for them to grow to that length, it was time to cut them off. I was dreaming of distant lands, places I had not ever been in this life and I just knew it was the right thing to do, even though I couldn't explain it "rationally". When I got to India near the end of 2000, I was happy I didn't have my dreadlocks, simply because they would have caused unnecessary confusion. I wasn't a Sadhu, and in India, the dudes with long dreadlocks are Sadhus. Some of them may look like some of my cousins in Jamaica, some of them may be smoking ganga on the banks of the ganges but it's a very different tradition, about which, at the time, I knew very little, and so out of respect for them, I was happy to avoid confusion by not looking like one of them. I was no longer a professor, though, without my locks I looked more like a "Professor" than I did with my locks when I was a professor. I returned from my most recent stay in India in early 2002. I was no longer a professor, what to do? I thought I might write some books about energy healing because some people I know who do that kind of thing would really benefit from knowing more about science. I started writing songs. Why? I didn't know why, but why stop writing songs? So I continued to write songs. After discussions with several publishers, I decided not to write those books about energy healing. I continued to write songs. I started growing my dreadlocks, again. This is the second growth. The first growth taught me patience. This second growth is teaching me, more, about patience. I still tell the truth and people still think I'm lying. "I'm making music and Major Motion Pictures", "What, no way", "I'm moving to Sweden", "What?!", "No way". It's October 2010, I eat a meal, maybe, once a week. I sleep, maybe, a few hours each 24hr cycle, and it's not a good sleep. A friend of mine thinks "I'm completely mad" (she's English, she says mad not crazy, tablets not pills, stuff like that). I only have the lyrics to 89 of my original songs. I lost more lyrics than I thought when a backpack was stolen from me. Too many backpacks have been stolen from me. I haven't been able to get into a studio, under the right circumstances, to even record a few high quality songs. Some people ask me if I've "given up". I still tell the truth and people still think I'm lying. "I'm starting a Media Production Company", "What!?? No, way!!", "I'm moving to Sweden", "What?!! No way!!". It's the Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada. The last several Thanksgivings, while Canadians feasted, I fasted.

Some people ask me if it's worth it.

My dreadlocks are longer.

It's the second growth. Written by Hubert Hugh Burke Nov. 20 2008 4:20PM (haha) Canada. Revised by Hubert Hugh Burke Oct. 08 2010 Canada.

#AVeryCanadianFilm #HubertHughBurke #Hubert Hugh Burke #Script

0 notes

hua-fei-hua · 4 years

Note

HEY chapter # game 66 31 35 44 52 sory if we’ve already done these 🙈🌷

i am also not keeping track of what numbers you’ve picked already c’:

there’s a bunch of chapters anyway so you usually just end up picking new ones anyway

i’m also too lazy to stop abbreviating the chapters n stuff now so you’ll have to be living w/m# and r# now lmao rereading this sentence i read that as m-sharp and r-sharp lol

a lot of these are part of the tour arc!! as evidenced by all the abba lmao

31 - m19 honey honey by abba

I heard about you before (I heard about you before) I wanted to know some more (I wanted to know you some more)

this is the first chapter in the tour arc!! i don’t remember why i picked this song, but i do remember struggling to come up with an abba song i liked that also fit this chapter. and then months later when i was picking out the summary lyrics (like... a week or two ago lol) i was like “damn. what part of this did i have in mind when naming this chapter”

the main event in this chapter picks up right after the end of b1 which i feel okay mentioning here bc we are posting on tuesday what the fuck. anyway *sparkle sparkle* ~*girls’ niiiiight*~

35 - r14 mamma mia by abba

Mamma mia, here I go again My my, how can I resist you? Mamma mia, does it show again? My my, just how much I've missed you

this is the rhythm chapter that covers “the gang watches a liveshow of the mamma mia musical”!! the moment chapter that covers the same event is called “dancing queen” and these two chapters will be published on the same day.

ALSO. it has a pool moment. C:

i really love this chapter. it has top ten pictures taken just before disaster vibes.

44 - m27 boo hoo by mindy gledhill

Cry, baby, cry Everything is gonna be alright You gotta live a little in the dark To appreciate the morning light

lowkey. this is a bit of a recap episode ahahahaha.

it’s basically a bit where jirou goes to visit togata again the day before they go on tour!! she tells him about kaminari. c:

52 - m31 name of the game by abba

What's the name of the game? Does it mean anything to you? What's the name of the game? Can you feel it the way I do? Tell me please, 'cause I have to know

this is the last chapter of the tour arc. jirou and bakugou are running around six flags and arguing because they each keep dishing harsh truths out at each other and they get mad about it lmao. it’s peak bkjr friendship imo.

but they both character develop as a result of it, and the conversations they have in this chapter affect the decisions they make in the rapidly-approaching endgame :D

fun fact, m29 is taking place at the same time as m31, and it follow kaminari and kirishima around six flags. c:

66 - r29 would you be so kind by dodie (reprise)

Oh, would you be So kind As to fall in love with me, you see I'm trying I know you know that I like you But that's not enough So if you will Please fall in love

super ultra mega spoilers but this is the chapter where krbk get together for real.

the reason it’s a reprise is because i’ve used this song as a chapter title before in rhythm!! it’s the same as chapter 1, which had these lyrics for its summary, as reference:

I have a question It might seem strange How are your lungs? Are they in pain? 'Cause mine are aching Think I know why I kinda like it, though You wanna try?

other fun facts include that the song that gets reprised in moment is “Queen of the Night” by fialta, which, in just the chapter “queen of the night” covers homecoming. so if “would you be so kind” parallels the fake getting together and the real getting together, i wonder what queen of the night is gonna parallel homecoming against?

c: c: c:

i am like, genuinely so excited for this chapter tho because of all the parallels and callbacks and just the detail i can imagine the scene in. it’s just. aaaaa!!!!!

#asks #w/o you Bb #Bb spoilers #long post #there's also one song that gets used as a chapter title in both moment and rhythm #it's called 'every night i dream of dancing'#the parallels between the queen of the night chapters aren't as strong as the ones btwn the would you be so kind chaps #at least not from the perspective of someone outside of band #so uh. //pat pat. that's rough buddy #i love how here i was just like 'oh yeah this is where krbk gets together'#but the REAL fun is how they get there after the uh #top ten moments just before disaster thing i mentioned earlier #god i just wanna talk about the details of it so much bc i'm so excited!!!! but i shouldn't :'c #thinking about making print copies of PH once it's done n stuff like one in publishing order and one in chrono #i think the chrono order one would end up with fewer chapters bc some chaps would get squished together #like m12 and r7 or m29 and 31 #thinking abt it i should probably write m29 and m31 with specific moments where bkjr and krkm cross paths w/o realizing it #as like a way of facilitating that chapter combination thing #i feel like the chrono and publishing orders have different arc definitions #bc some arcs like the kegger arc hop around in time despite the main focus being the kegger #aaaaaaaa are you excited??? i'm excited!!!!#the Gals and i have chosen one place to apply to n it's really rlly nice wao #a little bit out of budget but we'll deal since it's actually worth more than what they'd give it to us for #it has a washer and dryer IN the apartment!! no going off-site to laundromats!! and no paying for it!!!#bc most of the other ones have like facility laundromats where you have to pay money to use them >:C #and also. FRENCH DOORS. idk why but the other girls are like rabid abt french style doors #i know housing searching is a pretty boring adult concept but i have been cooped up for three months #having adventures has been illegal for months this HAS been my adventure and i will take what i can get #there was this one place that was like 1550 and we were like 'it's shoddy.' and then i was like 'oh shit termites!'#i found their pellets squatting around and looking at the gap btwn the FLOOR AND THE WALL lmao and texted the chat

11 notes · View notes