#desperate housewives of mythology
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Round 2 poll 6: Bree Van De Kamp from Desperate Housewives vs Lleu Llaw Gyffes from Welsh mythology
Propaganda under the cut:
Bree Van De Kamp:
I mean I guess it's rare enough to blorbo a character from this type of show. Also Bree is a really wild character. Like morally she fucking sucks at the beginning of the show and also she legit felt more scary to me than most horror movie villains. I guess she's just a very realistic conservative control freak perfectionist mom. Anyway. She gets a lot of character development!! She's also just a deeply flawed human being which kinda goes from flawed as in I would not wanna associate with her to flawed as in I can sympathize with her. Also she's just so everything. She contains multitudes. She's homophobic. She's an ally. She's a prude. She's a sexoholic. She's a picture perfect housewife. She's a raging alcoholic. She's a girlboss. She's a girlfailure. She's a moral purist. She helped cover up multiple murders. Like!! Do you get me now. You won't get this shit anywhere else
Lleu Llaw Gyffes:
His name is “the blonde guy with good aim” in old Welsh. Like that isn’t the meaning of his name, his name is LITERALLY “Blonde Guy With Good Aim” because he and his morally dubious wizard surrogate father had to trick his absent mother into giving him a name and that was the best he could get away with. He had a wife literally created out of flowers specifically to be his wife and he was such a cold neglectful husband that she cheated on him and then murdered him with the help of her lover. He is invulnerable UNLESS he is: pierced with a lance that was crafted only on Sundays over the span of a year AND it’s thrown at him whilst he’s straddling a river with one foot on the back of a goat. And he STILL doesn’t manage to avoid getting killed because his wife goes “Lleu I’m so worried about you :(((( won’t you show me the very specific manner in which someone could murder you…to ease my mind” and he didn’t find this suspicious at all so immediately demonstrated it to her and then was surprised when her lover pops out and chucks the lance at him. He doesn’t die but instead turns into a hawk which iirc is NEVER EXPLAINED. Then when his wizard turns him back into a human he hunts down his wife’s lover and manages to kill him by throwing a lance THROUGH THE SOLID ROCK the lover is hiding behind. Obsessed with him. Obsessed with the way he undoes everything good in his life by fixating on undoing the damage his mother did to him. I am such a Lleu apologist even though no-one is arguing against me.
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So the cover of my book journal has me feeling like uncultured swine again, because all the book titles on it are famous couples/duos in literature, tv shows and movies etc and at least half of them have me like: ?????
I'm enough of a nerd to want to know where they're all from, and it's been bugging me for years. But Googling them feels somehow unsporting to me. lol (Plus I think some of the spellings are French?)
So...see a pair you recognize? Let me know. 🙏
~ Couples Listed ~
Fanfan & Alexandre = ???
Lana & Clark = Superman
Paul & Joanne = ???
Andromacue & Hector = The Iliad/Greek Mythology
Leonard & Salaì = ???
Orpheus and Eurydice = Greek Mythology
Lisbeth & Miriam = ???
Mathilde & Manech = ???
Chimène & Rodrigue = ???
Emma & Dexter = ???
Yves & Pierre = Yves Saint-Laurent and Pierre Bergé
Arlequin & Columbine = ???
Julien & Mme de Rênal = The Scarlet and the Black
Edward & Vivian = ???
Edith and Marcel = ???
Marty & Jennifer = Back to the Future
Franck & Ava = ???
Jack & Rose = Titantic
Elisabeth & Richard = ???
Chouchou & Loulou = ??? (The hell kind of names are those? lol)
Roger & Jessica = ??? (Idk the first thing that jumped to mind was Roger & Jessica Rabbit lol)
Figaro & Rosine = The Marriage of Figaro
Christian & Anastasia = 50 Shades of Grey
Leeloo & Korhen = ???
Abelard & Héloïse = medieval historical romance, unsure of details
Valmont & Cecile = Dangerous Liaisons
Sam & Molly = ???
Gaston & Melle Jeanne = ???
Drazic & Anita = ???
Don Juan & Charlotte = Don Juan/Don Giovanni
Mike & Susan = Desperate Housewives
Helen & Paris = The Iliad/Greek Mythology
Quasimodo & Esmeralda = The Hunchback of Notre-Dame
Rachel & Ross = Friends
Marilyn & John = Marilyn Munroe and John F. Kennedy?
Satine & Christian = Moulin Rouge
Dorian & Henri = The Portrait of Dorian Gray
Tarzan & Jane = Tarzan
Edward & Bella = Twilight
Nino & Amélie = Amélie
Mulder & Scully = The X-Files
Arthur & Paul = Arthur Rimbaud and Paul Verlaine
Harry & Sally = When Harry Met Sally
Sandy & Danny = Grease
Benny & Joon = Benny & Joon
Toi & Moi = ???
Maverick & Charlie = Top Gun
Candy & Anthony = ???
Odysseus & Penelope = The Odyssey/The Iliad/Greek Mythology
Thelma & Louise = Thelma & Louise
Titus & Berenice = Titus and Berenice is a 1676 tragedy by Thomas Otway.
Ariane & Solal = ???
Paul & Virginie = Paul and Virginie by Jacques-Henri Bernardin de Saint-Pierre (1788).
Johnny & BB = ???
Cyrano & Roxane = Cyrano de Bergerac
Marius & Fanny = ???
Chloe & Colin = ???
Adam & Eve = The Bible
Tristan & Iseult = Tristan and Isolde
Bonnie & Clyde = the historical Bonnie & Clyde
Popeye & Olive = Popeye the Sailor Man
Simone & Yves = ???
Buffy & Angel = Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Lauren & Humphrey = Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart?
Carrie and Mr Big = Sex in the City
Harry & Ginny = Harry Potter series
Clarence & Alabama = ???
Alceste & Célimène = ???
Lancelot & Guinevere = Arthurian legend
~*~
Edit:
From @theduchessofboredom
#arthur & paul could be art (arthur) garfunkel and paul simon #paul & virginie is the title of a famous 18th century novel #nino and amélie is definitely Amélie :) #yves & pierre are yves saint-laurent and pierre bergé
From @that-laj
Marty & Jennifer are from Back to the Future, if they’re the Marty and Jennifer I think they are.
@didoscity
Mike and susan are from desperate housewives (embarassed to know this). Also arthur and paul are definitely, to me, arthur rimbaud and paul verlaine. sorry for simon and garfunkel 😂
oh and titus and berenice is the name of a tragedy by corneille!
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[ laura harrier , 32 , cis woman , she + her ] in the time of dragons , 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐰𝐲𝐧𝐞 is entering the game of thrones . said to be self assured + cunning , we can only hope that is the case as regrettably they are also well known to be stubborn + ambitious . when asked about them , people are always reminded of the urge to be something more than someone’s bride - for you have never been so simple ; the castle and title both are yours - but only as long as you can keep up this charade ; damsels can become the distress as they lurk patiently and jump in for the kill ; until his death do you part ; a goblet of ale filled to the brim , dripping down the edges . though they are ��𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐥 , their true loyalties lie with house redwyne and house serrett and rumour has it that if given the choice they would support the independence of the seven kingdoms / themselves above all else . those of us in the shadows wish them luck and can only hope they will survive what is to come .
𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐥𝐬 : irene adler ( sherlock holmes ) , lady macbeth ( macbeth ) , medea ( greek mythology ) , anne of cleves ( history ) , bronn ( game of thrones ) , tyler durden ( fight club ) , edie britt ( desperate housewives ) , mystique ( x-men ) , agatha harkness ( wandavision ) .
NAME evelyn serrett nee redwyne .
TITLE ruling lady regent of silverhill , lady of the arbor .
FAMILY house redwyne ( adopted ) .
OFFSPRING wyllam serrett tyrell - son .
AGE thirty - two .
SEXUALITY bisexual .
HEIGHT 5 ft 6 “
PERSONALITY TRAITS self assured , cunning , stubborn , ambitious , selfish .
LANGUAGES the common tongue , some high valyrian .
LOYALTIES house redwyne , house serrett .
a girl had never been so prim and proper - spending her days with the best of them even when it leaves her shoes ruined and her dress covered in dirt and in need of repairing . much of her time was spent running through the vineyards , stealing grapes off the vines and scrunching her nose at how sweet they tasted . her family , by love if not by blood , would teach her the power to be found in their name alone .
she enjoyed travelling , spending more time away from home than there . while she loved her family , she could not spend all her days with them . in her travelling she learned how little she enjoyed the life of a noble lady . she wished to be something more , to enjoy her life and not worry about using the proper cutlery or the correct address . for how little it all meant . but she loved her family , and would do it for them ( though rarely ) .
she took a number of lovers , until she found one she had great happiness with . she believed it could have been love , though the pair never called it what it was . still , she was not from some no name house , and she hoped that this would aid her in her future - for she wished he might marry her . but time went on and nothing changed .
she grew tired of waiting for a proposal from her love , and so moved on ( not knowing of the babe within her womb ) . her parents arranged her betrothal with haste , and she was married within the month . marriage however proved to be a bore , despite her mother’s insistence that they’d be content. they didn’t have to love him , for she never had loved her own husband . but they could grow to be friends , at very least . or so she’d hoped . they wouldn’t . for they’d never met - the lord having seen nothing of her but portraits . it would seem , to the lord , that his pretty young wife was not pretty enough once she lifted her veil - for he would quickly declare to her in private how little he liked her .
the sour look upon her face in his presence never left .
but he was never meant to be her one great love in life , nor did she ever wish him to be . she’d had love - and it would never be better than that was . she’d been with child for weeks by the time they’d wed , and it was only due to the child being born sickly - weak and smaller than any child she’d seen before - that she got away with it , ensuring her husband that he was merely born premature . but she hadn’t gotten away with it , not really . unknown to her the man had begun to investigate her past to discover the truth . once he had , he’d sent a letter to her babe’s father revealing the truth . a letter eve would discover , but not in time to stop him from sending it .
evelyn serrett would wander and wander about the rooms , full of those who belonged to none but her husband - lords and ladies who watched her every movement with distaste - and grow anxious at it all . who had he told ? who knew of her lies . who would turn on her ?
and so one evening , while the pair dined - midas ate a bit of boar with green beans and was seized with the worst of pains in the pit of his stomach - until he began vomiting terribly . it wouldn't be until late that night that he , like the rats in the cellars , would be found dead .
the fingers turned to the kitchen , and when none could figure out how the poison had ended up in their lord’s meal , those responsible for cooking that evening were executed .
his death was an untimely thing , really . at least , according to his advisors . but eve didn’t think so , not really . their son ( her bastard , really ) was too young to take over as ruling lord and so she did instead , playing the role of regent in his place of a castle that neither of them should ever have owned .
the castle would change greatly once she took over . no more would it be dark and a picture of days past - for the lady would fill it with light - trophies of her hunts upon the walls and carpets of the finest materials .
when asked why she had arrived late , missing the ball entirely and arriving as the questioning had begun - the lady claims her little lord had been ill and she hadn’t wished to leave until he was better. truthfully , he’d been throwing tantrums for days at the idea of leaving home and she’d eventually bribed him with enough sweets ( and the idea of seeing dragons ) that he had calmed .
her son is actually olyvar tyrell’s , not her husband’s . she definitely killed him to stop him from making her secret public and bringing shame upon her family ( though , honestly she’s more selfish than that . she just didn’t want to have to raise her kid alone as a bastard and was still petty about olyvar . wouldn’t have told him if she didn’t have to ) .
alcohol , gambling , hunting , shooting - all typically masculine things that she loves more than anything . her embroidery looks like a six year old’s , and she’d rather die than attend a tea .
has multiple hunting dogs in her kennels - her favourite two being wolfie and gregory .
most certainly flirts with whoever she’d like ( she’s not married and she’s the regent ruling lady - so why not ? )
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wet woman
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Loki: I can't go to jail!
Odin: What, and we can?
Loki: Yes!! You'll start a gang, Hoenir will work in the kitchen. I'm the smallest one I am so ending up somebody's bitch!
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Conversation
Hephaestus: What about me? Can't I be your plan B?
Athena: Damn it, Hephaestus. What is our new rule?
Hephaestus: Stop pretending we have a future.
Athena: Thank you.
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“YOU EITHER DIE A HERO OR YOU LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO SEE YOURSELF BECOME THE VILLAIN”
©
Featuring muses from the MCU, DCEU, Descendants, Once Upon a Time, Game of Thrones, Sons of Anarchy, Pacific Rim and Pacific Rim Uprising, King Arthur Legend of the Sword, Syfy’s Alice, Jurassic World, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Greek Mythology, Disney, iZombie, Star Wars, Stranger Things, Spartacus, the Fast and the Furious, Mayans MC, the Boys, Desperate Housewives, Don Bluth’s Anastasia, The Swan Princess, Blade and Blade Trinity, My Bloody Valentine 3D, Supernatural, A Court of Thorns and Roses, 911 and 911: Lonestar, Underworld, Teen Wolf.
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2021 tv
*
Assorted tv shows and other stuff I’ve finished this year so far (and that I did not do a longer review of for one or another reason):
ANIMATED
- DC Superhero Girls (Season 1). Terrific action-comedy, one of the very few recent superhero shows I’ve actually enjoyed. Loosely adapted not from the previous incarnation of “DC Superhero Girls”, but rather from the animated shorts “Super Best Friends Forever”, part of the DC Nation animated shorts —all of them worth a look (well, the assorted Nation shorts are of VERY different quality, as you can expect. Still…).
- This Duckburg Life (Podcast). Spin-off from the 2017 Ducktales cartoon. Every bit as engaging as the show, with near-perfect comedic timing. Also, pretty much the end of that particular incarnation… for now at least.
- My next life as a villainess: All routes lead to doom! (Season 1). One the most popular recent Anime (it just got a second volume), sort of a… if not “Deconstruction” then subversion of the “Isekai” genre. Also noteworthy for fans of Visual Novels, both romance and mystery.
- Vivid Strike! Spin-off of the successful Anime franchise “Lyrical Nanoha”… of which I have to admit I have never seen a single episode yet. Vivid is a fantasy-action series that is notable both for the intense action scenes… and for the often alarming focus on preteen girls getting pounded in increasingly vicious ways. And I’m told this one is actually one of the mildest entries of the Nanoha franchise! So maybe not for all tastes, but if you know what you’re in for…
- Beastars (Season 2). The Netflix Anime adaptation of the excellent furry manga takes a few liberties with the source, most of the for good. Some for not-so-good, managing to make the characters a lot more unreasonable. Still buoyed by the genuinely gorgeous animation.
- DC Showcase: Death (animated short). Remarkable tale that would fit right at home with the original Sandman comic or the Death spin-offs. Maybe a touch hurt by the insistence of placing it squarely in the DC universe (that damn Arkham Asylum shot), but otherwise more than worth a look.
- Wonder Woman: Bloodlines (animated movie). An entertaining enough showcase of 21-st. Century Wonder Woman storylines, drawing as much from the comics as from the live-action movies —and in this case set on the “DC Animated Movies” continuity which once again creates far more problems than it solves. Between this and the Wonder Woman shorts also included on DC Nation, I get to the by now probably common question: When do we get a “Wonder Woman: The animated series” proper?
(Note: Been reading “Historia”, a series of articles by Riteshi Babu which chronicle the entire history of Wonder Woman comics. Very much recommended, in part to get an idea of how that animated series could go. Look them up online)
- Masters of the Universe: Revelation. One of those shows that people online love to whine about yet people in real life enjoy a lot. Very entertaining, whether you take it as a sequel of the He-man cartoons or a, this word again, sorta Deconstruction or just subversion of it.
- Trese. Terrific horror fantasy yarn adapted from a famous Filipino comic. Great world-building, animation and overall storyline.
- Onyx Equinox. Another terrific horror fantasy yarn, in this case drawn from assorted Mesoamerican mythologies woven into an original story.
I really do hope these two last will continue.
LIVE-ACTION
Without planning to, all are YA thrillers, hehe:
- The Wilds. It’s tempting to say “Lord of the flies + Lost, but with girls” —but that is really underselling this neat little show about troubled teenage girls stranded in a mysterious island.
- Panic. Adaptation of the Lauren Oliver book (“Before I die”), about a small town with a summer tradition: A very high-risk game where the prize is millions and the worst outcome is death.
- Al-Rawabi School for Girls. Teenage revenge yarn from Jordan, by turns darkly humorous, vicious and dramatic. Quite the surprise.
And three movies:
- A simple favor. Virtually every 21st Century domestic thriller (From “Gone girl” to “Desperate Housewives”) run through a blender. Far more implausible than its fans want to believe, and yet undeniably entertaining.
- 1922. Bleak Stephen King adaptation (but current-day King, which, you know, accounts for the bleakness in question), generally more grim than horrific.
- The woman in the window. Competent thriller that’s as skillfully made as ultimately, and sadly, forgettable.
WHEW!
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I got tagged by lovely @metsaikuinen, thank you! 🌼🌿💚
Name/nickname: Taru
Gender: She/her
Star sign: Libra
Height: 177-178 cm
Time: 7:56 am
Birthday: October 9th
Favourite bands/groups: Slipknot, Mors Subita, Machine Head, Machinae Supremacy, Joy Division, Stratovarius, Turmion Kätilöt
Favourite solo artists: Björk
Song stuck in my head: Weirdly enough nothing.
Last movie: Uuno Turhapuro - Muisti palailee pätkittäin. Finnish crap. 😂
Last show: Desperate Housewives
When did I create this blog: Probably like a year ago? Little over? I'm not sure.
What do I post: nature, crystals, mythology, art, animals etc.
Last thing I googled: A finnish actor
Other blogs: No
Do I get asks: Not much
Why did I choose this url: I'm finnish and very hermit like. They worked nicely together. 👍
Following: 596
Followers: 1573. Yeah I don't get it either but thanks for anyone who likes my blog. 💚
Average hours of sleep: 9, I love sleeping.
Lucky number: 10
Instruments: Sadly cannot play anything. I like to sing and am ok but I hate my voice.
What I am wearing: Summer dress that is my home dress.
Dream job: Marine biologist but am too dumb and lazy. 🥴 Artist or writer.
Dream trip: Ireland and Japan!
Favourite food: Sushi, palak paneer, pizza, cabbage stuff.
Nationality: Finnish
Favourite song: Whoa this is hard but Surfacing by Slipknot and Halo by Machine Head.
Three fictional universes you’d like to live in: Pokémon, Lotr, Beatrix Potter with all the animals please. 🥺
I tag @heyitsphoenixx, @metsienkuiske, @sokerikeiju, @goldielemorin
But feel free to ignore this if you don't feel like doing it! 🌼🌿💚
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“YOU EITHER DIE A HERO OR YOU LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO SEE YOURSELF BECOME THE VILLAIN”
©
Featuring muses from the MCU, DCEU, RWBY, Descendants, Once Upon a Time, Game of Thrones, Sons of Anarchy, Pacific Rim and Pacific Rim Uprising, King Arthur Legend of the Sword, Syfy’s Alice, Jurassic World, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Greek Mythology, Disney, iZombie, Star Wars, Stranger Things, Spartacus, the Fast and the Furious, Mayans MC, the Boys, Desperate Housewives, Don Bluth’s Anastasia, The Swan Princess, Blade and Blade Trinity, My Bloody Valentine 3D, Supernatural, A Court of Thorns and Roses.
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❝ ⤚⟶ EUROPE, 1458. thanks is given by the SULTANA MIHRIMAH SULTAN, from THE OTTOMAN EMPIRE. they are at best POLISHED, and at their worst FORCEFUL. whilst abroad, their ambition is to SUPPORT HER OLDER BROTHER AND SEEK A POSITION WORTHY OF HER STATUS AMONGST HER FATHER’S PLANS. SHE seems to remind everyone of BESTE KÖKDEMIR & THE SENSATION OF SILK AGAINST BARE SKIN, THE ROCK OF THE OCEAN SPLASHING AGAINST THE UNDERBELLY OF A SHIP & THE FLUSH OF FEATHERS BEATING AGAINST A GILDED CAGE.❞
and finally… (for now) i offer you the beautiful mihrimah !!
STATS.
full name — mihrimah (persian - ”light of the moon”) sultan (child of the sultan)
titles — sultana of the ottoman empire (imperial princess)
birthplace — edirne, eastern thrace, ottoman territory
age — twenty (20)
languages — ottoman turkish (mother-tongue), arabic (fluent), persian (few dialects), ottoman sign language (fluent), english (learning), french (learning), greek (few dialects)
dynasty — osman
mother — haseki sultan nehir
father — sultan iskender
spouse — n/a
issue — n/a
siblings —
older : unnamed son 🕇
older : melek sultan
older : sezhade of the ottoman empire, heir presumptive
older : sultana of the ottoman empire
younger : ilaldi sultan
younger : ayse sultan
younger : hafsa sultan
younger : emine sultan
younger : sittisah sultan
younger : beyhan sultan
younger : sirin sultan
younger : sehzade kasim
younger : unborn sultan
other —
grandmother : valide sultan mahidevran
aunt : hurrem al-barracin
consort to iskender : consort hiranur sultan
consort to iskender : consort branimira of croatia
brother-in-law : grand vizier rondulu selim pasha
courtier - potential suitor : second vizier yazid ibrahim basturk pasha
harem chief officer : chief steward of the imperial harem
courtier : vadim, wallachian boyar of braila
zodiac — gemini
religious affiliation — islam
face claim — beste kokdemir
height — 5′10″
recognisable features — raven locks that fall way past her shoulders, normally covered by a sheer veil but if you see her hair with your naked eye count yourself blessed.
HEADCANNONS
LIFE IN THE HAREM — it is all she has ever known, to be surrounded by love and women who filled her with an inflated ego, a currency known for her beauty and the dulcet tones fit for a woman of her standing. Due to such an upbringing she did not grow up to hate the woman who tore her father’s attention away from herself and her mother, but loyalty was wedged in deep between muscle and bone! The loyalty she upholds for her mother and older brother know no bounds, and may someday be her undoing if the next Sultan does not carry her true blood.
EDUCATION — Educated well, Mihrimah may have made a good Sultan if she had been born a boy. Nonetheless, she used her feminine whims to her advantage. Though, it is perhaps childish to flaunt such beauty in the eyes of men who see it as all they want. With dance and music, she expresses herself - long, delicate fingers playing to the tune to all who dare to listen. Such culture is praised amongst the women of the palace and the Osman dynasty, but Mihrimah plans to use such skills on many unsuspecting men - to wean out the weak from the strong, to unveil the ones who plan to betray her older brother or her father. She is, in her eyes even, a grand piece to the Sultan’s chessboard - if only he plans to use her more often. Her education has provided her with the gumption to take the reigns of an already crowded steps to the throne, but she does not desire such responsibility as of yet. Instead, she seeks to use her tongue (trained in many a language, that may leave the educated advisers of the Western realms at unease). She plans to take to Portugal as an envoy, to act as her father’s spy if needs will it. Though perhaps a spy is far too generous a word since she is not a coy woman and often boasts of her powers and natural features as if there was not an eye to see it.
MUSIC & DANCE — Though music and dance is a passion well-loved by the Sultana, Mihrimah has always found time and obsession with weaving. Her talent is famous amongst the noble ladies of the Ottoman Empire, and often she will display her woven beauties to the visitors and courtiers who peek with nosey eyes. Back within the palace she rarely took a toe outside, the Sultana has her own rooms lined with her art. She is known for it, but some may whisper that she is doomed to spend her life weaving rather than living - such cruel rumours are only laughed off by the Sultana, even if the question of her future hangs heavy around her neck.
LOYALTY — The loyalty she ties to her older brother is immovable. Such trust was born when the two children grew together, sharing tutors and governesses as they ran through the various halls of various estates. To say she loves him is misunderstood, she adores him. To her, he is her Sultan - above their father, and above their mother. But with such love comes danger; if she is to choose between the two men, who should she lay her allegiance with?
WANTED CONNECTIONS.
friends overseas (pen-pals, frenemies, bffs, the lot!), enemies she may sulk around, boys she commands for her own use, allegiances made for her brother the sehzade, allies she may count on to spread her own influence, and perhaps someone who can take her from simple daughter to wife and consort of the utmost importance.
INFLUENCES.
catherine howard (english history)
bathsheba (the bible)
sirens (folklore)
aphrodite (greek mythology)
grimhild (norse mythology)
ramses (the prince of egypt)
amy (young man with a horn)
the comforters (rudyard kipling)
rachel green (friends)
oberyn martell (game of thrones)
joan holloway (mad men)
amy march (little women)
gabrielle solis (desperate housewives)
jackie burkhart (that 70s show)
buffy summers (buffy the vampire slayer)
lady (lady and the tramp)
tahani al-jamil (the good place)
nala (the lion king)
elizabeth swann (pirates of the caribbean)
daisy buchanan (the great gatsby)
scarlet o’hara (gone with the wind)
lydia bennet (pride and prejudice)
princess jasmine (aladdin)
marie (the aristrocats)
madison li (fallout 3)
blanche (a streetcar named desire)
paula (the winter’s tale, shakespeare)
mihrimah sultan (daughter of suleiman i, history)
#crhs.intro#YES#i finally did it#little late but i wanted it out there#hehe#i. / το τελευταίο έγκαυμα ενός λαμπτήρα ελιάς — study.
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Behind every strong man is a strong woman.
Behind every genderfluid trash-fire of a Trickster God is a disgruntled wife trying to get child support.
Norse Mythology meets Desperate Housewives in a(nother) new project from B. L. Radley: LIESMYTH!
The second thing they don't tell you about Ragnarøkkr is how long we all had to wait.
One century down the line, most of us were slathering for it. There was nothing we wanted more than to to prance out onto Vígríðr with hammers and spears aloft, and spend our final day of existence bashing each other to deified pulp.
I was no exception. I mean, if the thought of sitting for a hundred years in a moldy cave with only one other person for company sounds like Hel to you – well.
You should try having that person be Loki.
"You know, if you're so smart, you should've brought a pipe to funnel the venom away. Not this tiny pisspot."
I ground my teeth: an action repeated with such regularity that it was a marvel I had any left. "My tiny pisspot is all that stands between you and constant, unspeakable agony. Try not to forget it.”
"I'm just saying." He must be counting the drips: that constant staccato plink that resounded from the walls of our subterranean gaol. He knew, like I did, that it was almost time. "Unspeakable agony could've been avoided altogether."
I gave the bowl a warning wobble. “Unspeakable agony could also worsen considerably.”
"Oh, come now; don't be offended. It's constructive criticism! Next time your husband gets tied to a rock with your son’s enchanted entrails and cursed to have acid poured on his face until Ragnarøkkr, select a more appropriate vessel from your kitchen before offering to come with.”
I rolled my shoulders. They'd grown strong, as the decades rolled by. Holding a bowl in a stress position for twenty-four hours a day would do that to you. Deltoids like an oar-man; that was me.
As for my husband – well. He was lucky I didn’t drop my appropriate vessel on him.
Loki groaned. "I thought we agreed after the previous decade? No more silent treatment."
I blinked. "I didn't respond for all of five seconds."
"Five seconds where my thoughts had nothing to fixate on but the subject of 'Sol's tits, this is really going to hurt'! If you can't think of scintillating conversation, you could always regale me with one of your stories." A smile crawled across his scarred lips. "How about that old chestnut, eh, Sigyn? You know the one: that grand old tale of how the fuck we wound up here."
"You know how that one ends."
"We all do, don't we? Kind of the point."
Between blinks, his foxlike face took on a new likeness. Now a crone sprawled before me, pockmarked and crinkled, breasts escaping to her armpits, chin subsiding into her baggy old neck.
"And so it will be, as it was augured," she intoned, in a dry, oaken creak. "The Æsir shall ride out to Vígríðr, and engage in a stonking great slugfest. Jo̧rmungandr shall rise from where he sucks on its own slimy tail, girdling Miðgardr at the bottom of the sea. Fettered Fenrisúlfr shall howl deep in Gnipahellr, shaking the world tree Yggdrasill to its poisoned roots. Three roosters shall crow, a ship built of dead men’s toenails shall fill its loathsome sails, Surtr shall ignite his sword in Ásgarðr’s cinders, and we'll all be very bloody miserable indeed."
Loki returned to his usual skin, as casually as other people shed coats.
"Anyway,” he continued, without pausing for breath. “ You know what they say about stories. It's not about the ending. It's about how you get there." His green eyes flicked to me. Knowing. Furious. "And Sigyn, I'd love to hear your version."
It seemed a hundred years had been enough time for him to piece it together.
I didn’t know how to answer him. I fastened my lips and looked away.
Venom glistened on the viper’s fangs. As I watched, another viscid droplet beaded, stretched, broke. It landed - plink! - in my brimming bowl.
More than once, at this moment, a tremor in my biceps had betrayed me; cost me a scalded knuckle, a blistered thumb. Loki suffered worse – but according to the majority of the Æsir, he deserved this. He deserved for the acid to melt his eyeballs and chew on the sockets beneath, again and again, from now until Skol snapped the sun from the black-scorched sky.
I knew otherwise. I knew everything.
And I also knew that I wouldn’t change any of it, not for the world.
The first bead trickled over, searing between my fingers. It fell to sizzle on Loki's freckled chest.
His face contorted. Pain. Anticipation. Dread. Yet his mouth made a different noise altogether: one I hadn't heard in so long that it took several moments to match these strange, syncopated wheezes to their meaning.
A laugh. My husband was laughing.
“Remember,” he gasped, fists clenched to white-knuckled bloodlessness above their fleshy bonds. “At the end of the day, Sigyn, this was your bloody idea.”
I offered no response. Just turned to empty my bowl, and waited for the Liesmyth to scream.
Don’t worry; I haven’t stopped writing Bad Necromance! And I definitely want to write more Dressage Dragons, sooner rather than later.
This concept just wouldn’t leave me alone. It’s a remix of Norse Mythology, revolving around the antics of the WAGs (and Loki, of course). Expect a big ol’ twist regarding Ragnarok, multiple central queer relationships, and a bunch of other shenanigans.
Anyone want to know more? If so, keep an eye out - I’ll be making a Tag List post very soon! x
#my writing#amwriting#fantasy writing#writeblr#violetvineyard#writers on tumblr#liesmyth#radley writes
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I just always had this fantasy — me staying gorgeous while the rest of you age horribly.
Narcissus [at the entire human race lbr]
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Charmed (1998 - Part 2)
[continued from Part 1]
STRUCTURE, WRITING & DEVELOPMENT
Charmed, like most of its supernatural contemporaries, mostly followed a villain of the week plot, with the sisters using their powers, spells or potions to overcome a demon or warlock. At the time, it was a very trendy theme to follow: thanks to media like The Craft, audiences were starting to shake of the moralistic panic that boomed in the 80s and explored the occult through familiar lenses, such as that of high school girls or modern working women.
The showrunners at the time (Constance M. Burge, who was the one had developed the idea and Brad Kern, who would head up the show over its 8 year run) were very aware that the supernatural theme was trendy at the time. Both Buffy and Sabrina had their premieres in 1996 and had developed a loyal following by then. The vampire slayer aimed for very dark and mature themes, whilst the teenage witch went for a lighter and airier approach. The Halliwell sisters struck it straight down the middle between the two - though the show would incorporate themes of death and frequent danger, it would also make use of heartwarming family moments and a dry sense of humor.
The writers used a very clear motto when coming up with scripts - these were sisters that happened to be witches, not the other way around, something mentioned in season 8′s bonus featurette. As important as magic was, it was not allowed to completely overshadow the various hurdles the Halliwells faced away from the cauldron - careers, boyfriends and family issues all had a significant hand in developing their characters.
Seasons 1 & 2 had a very simplistic formula, though it was a bit shaky. It can be forgiven when you consider that the show was doing trial and error in its own way, seeing what worked and what didn’t. Many of the memorable episodes come from these seasons as the writers laid down the history and mythology of the Halliwells.
Season 3 is where the real action began. Swinging in a much darker direction and taking the risk of an overarching plot, viewers were introduced to Cole Turner and his plot to kill the sisters whilst falling in love with Phoebe, Leo and Piper getting married and Prue continuing to power through life like the badass she was; all of which culminated in the season finale where the eldest witch was killed off. Many of the episodes stand out for their consistently solid writing, the outstanding acting and the dead on sarcastic humor.
After this, it was understandable that many fans and even the network was worried that the show would lose its momentum. Shannen Doherty was arguably the most famous person on the show - would the role of Prue be recast or would Phoebe and Piper carry on as a twosome? Would the show even come back?
All fears were allayed when the fourth season aired. Paige was no Prue, but her presence sent Charmed in a new, more offbeat direction. The same presence from the previous season continued, with the sisters battling the Source of All Evil for their very lives whilst having to deal with a new family members and burgeoning loves. Rose McGowan was refreshing and her being on the show caused the dynamic to change before it got too stale.
Charmed officially jumped the shark in season 5. The season long plot was eschewed in favor of episodic plots again, though they weren’t on the same level as the early seasons. The show also started to steer away from the traditional Wiccan feel. I feel the word ‘stereotype’ is inadequate here but I’m not sure of what else to use - leprechauns, genies, wood nymphs, mermaids; you name it, it was made into an episode. In essence, it became sillier and a parody of what the show had initially wanted to be.
The last three seasons were relatively mediocre. Though there are some good episodes here and there, it did not live up to the pinnacle of seasons 3 and 4. Overarching stories were back, but they didn’t mesh well with the lighter approach the show was going for. Character decay set in and ratings soon started to drop. Upon the renewal of the show for an eighth season, the lead actresses made it clear that this would be their last and did not want to continue further as the Power of Three. It was a decision that I imagine was hard, but fair. Charmed was no longer magical and in an age of rising reality TV (The Hills) and fascination with the obscenely rich (The O.C.), no spell in the Book could help.
Here are a list of episodes I recommend watching for various reasons:
The Witch Is Back - Melinda Warren, the witch who started it all, makes her first and last appearance on the show
Which Prue Is It Anyways? - watch for a different take on the Power of Three
Chick Flick - hilariously funny
Coyote Piper - a filler episode done right
Bride & Gloom - watch what happens when good girls go bad
Sin City - another filler done right
All Hell Breaks Loose - arguably, the best episode of the series & Shannen’s best performance
Hell Hath No Fury - Holly’s best performance
Charmed & Dangerous - the second best episode
Long Live The Queen - Alyssa’s best performance
Sympathy For The Demon - Rose’s best performance
The Power of Three Blondes - a very funny filler
Forever Charmed - the series finale
BULLSEYES & IMPROVEMENTS
What it got right:
The sense that no matter what you did or who you wanted to be, your family would always have your back
Darryl and his passive-aggressive snark at being dragged into the magical world time and again
The original spin on Wiccan principles & mythology in the first four seasons
The Book of Shadows & its artwork
Penny Halliwell - the grandma you always wanted
The awkward but fast connection Paige made with her sisters
Prue & Jack - proof that opposites attract
Cole’s arc during seasons 3 & 4
What it got wrong:
Wyatt - overpowered and seemingly out of nowhere, he was a bit unnecessary. Apparently, the writers made him this way to justify a baby being in the house with demons about to the network, but there are much better ways to get around this without giving him every single power
Future Chris - whiny, snotty and way too controlling. Also, Drew Perry is a very poor actor compared to the rest of the cast
Phoebe’s love life - apart from Cole, take any two of Phoebe’s love interests and tell me how they differ, I dare you
I’ve already mentioned the general silliness, but Seasons 5 & 6 takes the cake in this
Zankou - what could have been the smartest villain on the show was wasted due to too many storylines running about in season 7
Leo’s arc in season 7 - he doesn’t do brooding as well as Cole and it doesn’t make sense for his character
Darryl eventually turning against the sisters - it made no sense and it undid so many years of trust and friendship
Magic School - had this come in earlier seasons or just for an episode or two, it would have been a fun setting. The fact that it was a very focal point post season 6 made it seem like a Hogwarts knockoff
Piper & Leo post season 4 - a very strong & loving relationship was marred by unnecessary trials. Really, he was made into an Elder in season 5 and had to leave home, but in season 6, he basically stuck around anyways, so what was the point? Just leave them together FFS!
CULTURAL IMPACT
Like many shows on the WB in the 90s, Charmed was very popular with the younger demographic even though its characters were about five years older than they were. Many resonated with the messages of family and female empowerment to the point of making a show a cult classic, even though it wasn’t as critically acclaimed as Buffy or Angel. Up until
Unfortunately, the environment on set was not ideal. Rumors of feuds between Shannen and Alyssa were plenty abound, causing the gossip machine to speculate that the latter’s rise in popularity was the result of the former leaving. Recently, Brad Kern was also exposed for being responsible for a very toxic & misogynistic work atmosphere. It’s a cruel irony, given the feminist tones the show cultivated.
Up until Desperate Housewives, Charmed had the honor of being the longest running TV show with all female leads. It was a truly imaginative show that made its own identity known. I haven’t watched the remake nor do I plan to - I have nothing against the new show and I’m sure it has it’s own highlights, but there’s only one Power of Three for me...
[... and that’s why we’ve truly been Charmed]
WHERE TO WATCH IT
Charmed is available for streaming on Netflix
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the girls....cherry and val <3
old OCs, cherry is a siren and Val is a vampire, both getting a bit of a redesign. (yes that is accurate size difference)
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i take it you read circe!! did you like it?
I did read Circe!! And my gosh, I’m in LOVE with everything about it!! The language is stunning, the portrayal of emotions is done incredibly well, the themes are complex, and I couldn’t put the book down! I spent several nights in a row reading until 2 A.M.! All in all it was a captivating, exquisite story.
There will be spoilers below the read more cut, just so all those who haven’t read it yet can go in with a fresh perspective if they wish!
The first thing that really hits you is the prose. It’s BEAUTIFUL! The tone of it is very much like a myth or fairy tale, ethereal and full of stunning descriptions and metaphors, which fits perfectly with the story it’s telling.
Circe’s own powers are strong in transformation, and the way that her narration uses incredible metaphors reflects that quite well: looking at something and seeing something else as it.
I loved the aesthetic of the book. The vivid imagery really sucks you in! Picturing a young girl in the dark halls of Helios, a young woman desperately wringing our herbs over the sleeping body of her beloved to make him a god, a weary yet defiant mother holding her baby and casting a spell to spite the Olympians, a woman walking into the sea to confront a massive god as old as the planet to ask for his tail and risking eternal torture, a daughter finally standing up to the sun god himself to demand her freedom as he almost scorched her….I could go on! The writing was so evocative, and I had chills at so many points!
I also loved the structure of the story itself, and its circular narrative that contrasted itself. How it starts with a cruel family where she felt out of place and alone, and how it ends with her having found her family, bound by love and compassion. How it starts with her trying to turn her beloved into a god so he can be with her with pharmaka, and how it ends with her using that same herb to become mortal so she can live with those she loves. How it starts with her turning Scylla into a monster, and how it ends with her killing Scylla so she no longer kills mortals. How it starts with Helios burning her as she stands firm that she has harnessed an herb’s powers, to how it ends with her standing her ground against that same burning father with her own magic from those herbs as a defense. I could go on and on, but I loved how Circe grew and how she inverted the beginnings of her narrative.
The way that Circe’s tale spanned so many different stories in Greek mythology was done incredibly well and highlighted her experiences with love and loss and pain and her perspective on the world around her.
I also deeply loved Miller’s portrayal of Greek mythology as it is commonly known. The stories of great battles and grand feats have the glamor stripped back to reveal their ugliness and callousness, all with a switch of perspective. From the perspective of a woman relegated to the sidelines in these epic stories, a woman who has been watching all this happen for millennia, these stories change.
I’ve talked about how the senseless violence in a lot of western stories, both older and now, bothers me (maybe not on my blog, but definitely to a lot of my friends). Therefore, I really loved how Circe was genuinely upset by these things and sought to fix them.
There was so much tension, and the stakes were incredibly high, but Circe does not succumb to the usual fantasy protagonist’s “war is evil but it is necessary and this whole series is about war and the conflict of war, the protagonist throws up on the battlefield and then becomes a great warrior and/or commander and then it’s all good” type deal. She was not tangled in a “war” or “battle” in the literal sense, other than the conflict between Olympians and Titans in which she became a pawn. This is what I mean about tension without unnecessary violence!! So many books are just the literary equivalent of a first-person shooter, and this is certainly the case with a lot of portrayals of Greek mythology as well, especially because of the heavy influence of ancient Greece on the West today. Circe’s story is mired in violence, but the moments with no violence at all are some of the most breathtakingly intense and dramatic.
Circe’s kindness and love, though often fierce and burning and messy, and her aching loneliness, are such a stark contrast to the gods––and even some of the mortals like Odysseus––who care nothing for lives or genuine emotion. She truly loves people, and in the end it is the way that her relationships always end as she outlives them that motivates her to give up being a god. I really enjoyed this aspect of the story! The way Miller portrays love and relationships is something I truly want to see more of.
And, speaking of kindness and love and relationships, I LOVED Miller’s portrayal of motherhood. I enjoyed that it was a subversion of the ideal of pristine, perfect, pure, gentle white housewives while still maintaining a deeply loving mother-son relationship. Many seminal feminist stories by cis white women demonize motherhood, framing it as a cage for women. Then this experience becomes universalized to all women. The problem is that, for instance, in the case of women of color, having children and a loving family is what is often denied to us. The world forces the kids of mothers of color to grow up faster and tears their families apart.
Circe is a mother in this story. She struggles with raising her child, but she loves her son fiercely and deeply, to the point where she risks eternal torment just to protect him. The gods want to take her child away, and she endures great pain and works incredibly hard to keep him. It is how the world treats mothers of color.
Look at the struggles Black women go through during pregnancy, with inadequate care at their hospitals and little research on the issues and conditions they go through, and high rates of maternal death. (I strongly encourage that you look at the ProPublica/NPR collaboration series Lost Mothers for more on this!) Look at how Latine families are being torn apart at the border, and mothers are losing their kids as those children are given to white families. Look at how the families of indigenous peoples are torn apart as kids are taken from their mothers and forced into assimilation programs. Look at the forced sterilization of mothers of color, and how eugenics treats the bodies of women of color.
Circe’s story, though written by a white woman, was deeply resonant with these things, which is something I adored about the book.
And, of course, here’s the commentary on womanhood, and how women have their agency stripped from them. Reading Circe’s story was cathartic at points. The story of a girl abused, silenced by fear, constantly put down, growing and honing her powers to the point where she can challenge those with immeasurable power. The experiences of various women woven into the story, from Perse to Pasiphae to Medea to the nymphs sent to Aiaia to Penelope. There’s so much to say tere, but Miller has already said it in her book.
I really really really deeply enjoyed this book!! Thank you for sending me this ask, anon, and I wish you well!! This reply was a lot longer than I expected, but there is truly so much to experience in this piece of literature and I’m definitely going to reread it soon!
Also, to everyone reading this, please feel free to send me your own takes on this book, and to @ me in your perspectives/reviews/etc.!! Much love to you all!!
#this was so much longer than expected and i STILL ahave so many thoughts omg!!#circe#madeline miller#greek mythology#misogyny#racialized misogyny#sexism#motherhood#book recs#sakshi speaks#hmmmm....#i'll also tag it:#sakshi reviews#just in case this becomes a more recurring thing!!#save#answered#ask#anon#anonymous
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