#definitely an ADHD thing
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Whiteboard dump baby
Been a minute :)
The lil guy who isn't Fartlord on the left is Emel :) I should post more about him soon, he's... kinda? relevant? to a semi-recent post of mine, once I explain him you'll understand
And the Edd to the right there is, you guessed it, from another AU living rent free in my head
For the most part all of the AUs I talk about are things that have either been in my head since I got back into the fandom in 2020 or since I first got in the fandom in... jeez when was it, some late 2010s, probably 14 or 15, I know it was before The End and all that, but yeah this has kinda been a meme in my head since 2017? 18? The "Join My Emo Band AU", is literally what I call it because of the meme "quit you job and join my emo band" and that conversation happening between Tom (the "leader"? of the band, the guy who formed it to begin with basically) to Tord (the newcomer they need cause none of them can sing,,, save for Matt but that's opera because his mom hates him or something I guess, not exactly fitting of their skapunk tone)
I have too many thoughts in my head about this god forsaken show and too much energy yet not enough ability to get it out my head
#reading that last bit back#definitely an ADHD thing#too much energy#not enough ability to sit still for five damn minutes and keep my train of thought SQUARELY on the task#no i gotta get ahead of myself and lose motivation because I'm getting too excited about what could be#ugh#anyway#jay draws#stromboli whiteboard#OC#emel#fartlord#fartlord romano#furutre fartlord#wtfuture fartlord#grimace shake#eddsworld#ew#ew edd#edd#art#fanart#i can't draw drums I'm sorry
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the way people online talk about autism is getting really weird, like do they know that neurotypicals still have interests? that someone being passionate about a hobby doesn't mean they're autistic? you guys know that right
#woof#like self diagnosis is one thing#but saying someone is autistic because they talk about a specific hobby a lot is weird (and waters down the actual definition of autism)#and its no different than saying someone has ocd bc they organize their books alpabetically#or saying someone has ADHD because they got distracted by something#and people who aren't even autistic are honestly getting way too comfortable with autism jokes
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death stranding au because ds2 trailer made me shameless and forced me to draw this idea i had in my head for months. sorry this won't make sense unless you've played the game...
#people be like what do you daydream about i daydream about replaying DS and also rotating this au in my head#SIGH THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING BUT ILL MAINTAG THIS... despite this is the most self indulgent thing ive drawn... wallahi#goodtimeswithscar#pearlescentmoon#grian#mumbo jumbo#hermitcraft#咸鱼.jpg#please no cc find this i will delete my blog in embarrassment#i still need to draw the other characters but my hand is cramping so bad. head in hands and screaming#this is what raw unmedicated unadulterated adhd looks like btw#ill draw more of this definitely and maybe make a post again compiling all the art because rn im just posting this so i can ramble. sigh
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Stuck
~1.5k words || rating: teen || cws: dissociation; unlabeled neurodivergencies and mental illnesses
He’s never quite sure how it happens, seeming to always sneak up on him. One minute he’s up and moving around, usually cleaning, organizing, or just meandering around the house. The next, he’s lying on the floor in the middle of the living room. He tries to move but can’t. Not because he’s physically restrained, like when the rope from the Russians cut into his wrists or how the vines constricted his neck.
No, Steve’s just lying here on the floor, trapped in his own mind. His eyes are raw, stinging with dryness. Painful tingles pop throughout his right arm from where his head rests heavy on his bicep. His hip and shoulder ache. He can’t move or talk or blink. Can barely think. He’s not in his body.
He’s lost. Stuck.
Getting stuck means losing time, chunks of days lost to a void. It means missing meals and unanswered phone calls. Growing up, it felt like an escape. A safe way to pass the time between eating and sleeping. He’d come back to himself, sometimes hours later, sore and hungry, mustering up energy he didn’t have. Once, his parents discovered him frozen on the ground. Mom’s yelling and Dad’s foot shoving his side brought him jolting back into his body. Like waking from a nightmare, rising from the dead chased by panic.
It happens less now, but still catches up to him when he’s exhausted. He thinks today it was the kids– they were particularly obnoxious. Yelling excitedly about Eddie’s new campaign ideas, trucking in snow from outside after building a demo-snowman. Cooking for them, cleaning after them, getting them home safe.
Yeah, he gets how he maybe overdid it a bit.
But with Eddie here, it’s easier. His sweetheart always knows how to help, usually checking up on him after stressful days. Hopefully he comes to check on him soon.
Because Steve can’t move. Or talk. Or even blink.
The sun is starting to set.
~~~
The Party were extra chaotic today, pushing him to the fringes of patience. He’s thrilled they’re excited about his newest campaign ideas, but god, did they have to be so unbearably loud about it? Dustin’s screeches are still rattling between his ears. Not to mention the soreness he feels from helping the kids build a snowman demo-thing and the ensuing snowball fight.
The idea of an occult campaign has been percolating in Eddie’s brain for weeks, and after the day he’s had, he’s lost to the research. Perched on a chair upstairs in their bedroom, books are scattered across the desk and onto their bed next to him. Typically, creative deep-dives restore his energy after a long day. But when he’s well and truly exhausted, he’ll lose hours at a time to the work. Getting stuck, according to Steve. And yeah, Eddie can see how that fits.
Growing up, Eddie would lose hours throwing himself into his latest and greatest project, whether it be drawing, playing guitar, writing campaigns, reading or even the time he tried juggling. Entranced by his newest obsession, his surroundings would fade into the background. He’d forget to do his homework, to eat or drink. Hell, sometimes he’d forget to pee. Wayne’d drop a gentle hand to his shoulder– pulling him back to reality– and he’d take off like a shot to the bathroom. Every sensation hitting all at once: bladder about to burst, stomach rumbling, dry mouth, headache, body stiff and achy.
As he gets older, it’s still a frequent occurrence. So Robin had given him the idea of setting alarms, saying it helps her remember to take breaks while studying. And he’s thankful, because it works like a charm when he actually remembers. But when he forgets, his Stevie takes care of him.
He’ll find Eddie crouched awkwardly by the desk, eyes manic, only seeing what’s in front of him. Eddie will eat or drink anything Steve gives him, barely tasting whatever it is, just as long as he can see it. And Steve lets him be for at least a few hours so he can burn energy into whatever project he's lost himself in. All Steve cares is that he’s fed and hydrated. Usually, Eddie comes to slowly, with Steve’s fingers gently carding through his hair, or soft strokes up and down his spine.
Now Eddie breaks his own musings, eyes strained, hungry, and needing to stretch. He can’t help but wonder why his sweetheart hasn’t checked on him.
Moonlight is shining through the window.
~~~
It’s eerily quiet as Eddie makes his way down the stairs. He half expects to find Steve stress-baking, but the kitchen is dark.
So he checks the garage– the car is still here. And the backyard– he never sits by the pool alone. Then the front porch– maybe he went out for a smoke.
Guilt eats at Eddie as he finds his beautiful boy on the living room floor, curled into himself.
Stuck.
He hates finding Steve like this– stuck and lost like Eddie’s engrossed fantasies. Yet so, so different.
The first time Eddie found him, unresponsive and immovable, he spiraled into a panic so strong Steve had broken free of his own melancholy, finding Eddie hyperventilating and sobbing in the midst of a flashback. Too much like Chrissy. Like Patrick and Nancy.
They'd talked about it. And Eddie had appreciated afterwards how Steve struggled to describe what being stuck feels like, why it happens, what to do about it. It'd helped.
So on grey days, long nights, the holidays, or when the kids are extra rowdy, Eddie looks for the signs. He's been good about getting Steve to slow down before it's too late.
But on rare occasions, there will be a day like today. When it’s too much for both of them.
Eddie doesn't know how long his baby’s been lying here. Doesn't know when he ate or drank or even blinked. Because he’d holed himself up, desperate for time alone to just think. To be with himself after spending all day surrounded by people. But he forgot to set an alarm, assuming Steve would be there.
He focuses on his sweetheart, slowly kneeling down next to him so as not to startle him. Remembers all of the tips and tricks Steve needs.
"Hey honey," Eddie whispers, close enough to be present but not overwhelming. "Don't worry baby we'll get you unstuck I promise. I'm going to reach out and grab your hand now ok?"
He continues to whisper gentle praises and reassurances as he holds Steve's hand. It's limp for a time, and Eddie is hungry, but he doesn't stop. Time is lost to them both again, until he feels a slight squeeze on his fingers. Steve finally blinks, slow and hard.
"Hey big boy, love to see those pretty, long eyelashes.” He smiles down at his baby, honeyed hazel eyes slowly refocusing. “Alright, once for no and two for yes: do you want me to help you onto the couch?"
A full minute passes before Eddie feels two gentle squeezes to his fingers.
"That's great sweetheart. I'm gonna tilt you to sit up and we'll get you settled. Then I'm going to ask if you want anything. Ready?" Two squeezes.
They finally get to the couch, and Eddie can already feel a strong sense of relief at just seeing his baby move off the floor. He hears Steve's back pop as they stand, decides he'll give him a massage later.
It goes on. And on and on. Eddie follows the process of squeezes until Steve is unstuck and back in his body.
"Water?" Two squeezes.
"Food?" One squeeze.
"Blanket?" Two squeezes.
Eddie's patience always pays off. He's got Steve set up on the couch, hydrated and relaxed, with his favorite movie playing softly. He’s managed to grab a bowl of cereal for himself. They're cuddled and warm with Steve’s head in his lap. Eddie glides his fingers up and down the sore side of Steve’s body, gently squeezing as he goes.
~~~
Steve comes back to himself surrounded by love.
His eyes sting and his mouth is dry. He doesn't know what time it is, but notices the sun has long set, moonlight shining through the curtains. The bones in his neck crack and his joints pop as he stretches.
But he's warm under the blankets, tucked into his boyfriend's chest as they watch the teddy bear Star Wars. Eddie's loosely twirling the hairs at the nape of his neck, lightly tugging and sending tingles down his spine. There's a glass of water and crackers on the table in front of him.
Getting stuck inside his head terrifies him, something he dreads as much as the night terrors.
But with Eddie, it's easier, happens less often. And when it does, he always wakes up to love.
~~
This was a pure self-indulgence fic. An exact recreation of my relationship with my partner. It fits my headcanon for the boys perfectly (though I'm obviously biased haha)
#steddie#steddie fic#steddie ficlet#steve harrington#steve harrington whump#hurt/comfort#steve harrington does not feel his feelings it's practically canon#steve harrington is my favorite self insert and i will continue to do so until i get so sick of writing myself i go back to canon#rinse and repeat#eddie munson#eddie munson is the personification of adhd#have you seen that man's bedroom? it's definitely canon#stranger things#stranger things fic#stranger things ficlet#QueenieWritesStories
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changing my home/lock screen might be a small thing to you, but for me it took many years of training. what do you mean you didn't witness the montage in which i changed it but got too uncomfortable with the difference that i had to change it back? you really didn’t see me almost flinch when i saw the wallpaper for the first time? smh
#neurodiversity#neurodivergent#i'm going to tag this as autism & adhd but i havent been formally diagnosed with either#autism#adhd#this might just be a me thing tbh#tbh#smh honestly#smh#i am so Funny#change is scary#even in little amounts#is this a me thing or is it a more than just me thing?? am i overreacting??#definite's ted talks
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simply elementary, my dear twilight!
#birdcanart#mlp fanart#mlp fim#twilight sparkle#pinkie pie#twipie#digital art#fanart#guys rewatching it All and damn theyre the definition of autism x adhd#also i just want to actually post things so here
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Steve refusing to play DnD with the party because of dyscalculia. Dustin and Eddie have invited him countless times to join them in their campaigns, but Steve always gives some shitty excuse like he has to cover for Robin at the video store or something.
Dustin and Eddie think it's because he's still worried about mantaining the "King Steve image" but in reality Steve's just terrified of being laughed at by supergenious children, because Eddie told him DnD had a lot of math and he sucks at that.
#steve harrington headcanon#steve harrington#dyscalculic steve harrington#steve stranger things#steddie#adhd steve harrington#steve x eddie#steddiegrove#am i projecting?#yes definitely#stranger things netflix#steve harrington fanfic#stranger things#angst prompt#neurodivergent steve harrington
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The AuDHD inner turmoil of "listening to audiobooks=real reading" and "listening to audiobooks=LISTENING bc there's a difference between listening and reading" battling for dominance in my head
#how do I say “audiobooks are valid forms of experiencing stories” without battling for the the literal definition of “reading”#like there's “reading” and there's “reading” and I have a hard time reconciling it#audhd#autistic#adhd#actually audhd#autistic things#autism#actually autistic#actually adhd#neurospicy#neurosparkly#neurodivergent
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Soap is a chronic stomach pain warrior, he wakes up with a stomach ache and he goes to sleep with a stomach ache. He's always so brave about it. (Gaz is so so tired of hearing him whine about his stomach issues when he just watched Soap scarf down something he's certain has been in the fridge for over a week)
#it most definitely had been in the fridge for over a week#it was Soap's leftovers he forgot about because they were out of his line of sight when new things were put in the fridge#Soap is well aware that he is the cause of his stomach problems#he just doesnt have the self preservation to care enough about that stuff specifically#yes this is somehow a way to spread the ADHD soap agenda too#i forget abt my own food bc its at the back of the fridge its a problem#i want a glass fridge so i know where my food is damn it#john soap mactavish#cod#mw2#kyle gaz garrick#cod gaz#soap cod#ADHD soap
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cuties (:
#I actually really like how this turned out.............#my art#temeraire#john granby#william laurence#tenzing tharkay#this picture is after a few drinks btw#I think Laurence secretly likes being touched but yk he's very stoic and he REFUSES to ask for it so everyone kind of assumes he doesn't??#but it. comes out a lil when he's drunk.#Tharkay is very unused to it but he's definitely not. opposed. to being touched. especially if its by Laurence...#Granby meanwhile does this all the time.#hes always falling asleep on people and clapping them on the shoulders and nudging them with his hip to get their attention#but it takes him like a bajillion years to hug Laurence for the first time cuz yk. Laurence is. Laurence.#and Laurence is also hesitant to initiate things like that bc he doesn't want to be weird (ITS NOT WEIRD TO HUG YOUR BEST FRIEND LAURENCE.)#tharkay meanwhile has never had very much desire to get close to someone physically or paid very much attention to it#and then he meets Laurence. who barely ever touches anyone. and suddenly whenever their hands brush tharkay is hyperaware of it#I have no idea what I'm saying#I've got a big fat cold and I deadass almost took my ADHD meds on accident instead of ibuprofen... it's 11pm.#that is to say. I'm a touch delirious#so I apologize sincerely if I completely mischaracterized them
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turns out that making a list of the things i want to do does not actually make it easier to do them
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I have this HC for spider that I need to get out of my skull.
he was a cuddly baby. like, you could hold him, snuggle, even nap with him all day without a single complaint. he soaked up any and all physical affection he could.
now this isn't to mistake him with a sleepy baby, no no, he was something much more dangerous; he was the type of baby that would trick you into holding him all day, basically hiding his energy,, until you go to put him to bed, and he's up and running loops around you for hours.
basically, he was the perfect cuddle buddy, but he was also a ticking time bomb, because its so hard to tell when he needed to be held and given down time/a nap (cause he was god awful if he was over tired), when he just going with being held, and when he just wanted to be held (against the better judgment of his sleep schedule).
#this just feels correct#like spider just has mushy clingy baby vibes#but also hyperactive adhd baby vibes#this is the middle ground#and I love it#avatar 2#spider socorro#miles socorro#miles spider socorro#he definitely put norm through it#and in my mama neytiri au#he definitely had neytiri wrapped around his little finger#she just can't put him down#not when he cuddles up to her so contentedly#jake was put through the wringer was norm refused to stop handling the nightmare that was a hyperactive toddler spider#who refused to go to sleep#and was running around the lab screeching. getting into things. climbing things that shouldn't be climbed. etc.#live laugh love spider
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nd culture is having an controversial thought or moke like wondering, and reasons why the term "glass child" rubs me the wrong way, so i'm going to vent here??
tw: mentions of ableism
glass child: siblings of a person with a disability,that get neglected bc thdir sibling get more attention.People often perceive them transparently, especially when children seem resilient but are actually vulnerable
I feel majority of ppl who are "glass child", even before the term was created, resented their sibling and their disability bc of the neglect or if the siblings happens to be an awful person,show their ableism and excused it under their "rage". It feels like they be waiting the term to be created(?. ( I have seen many of them on the internet or irl)
"But glass child is necessary term for our experiences. It's not ableist, even if most ppl used it that way, it means we don't get taken care of bc we strong when we aren't"
I don't want to invalidate ppl's trauma neither come off as insensitive..but it happens to many neglected kids, they are viewed strong when in reality,they are vulnerable, only difference is the experiences and context, doesn't make it less valid or less painful even if there's a lot of ppl in the same situation,I get why new terms exists: to talk about topics and experiences ppl have in common, it can be helpful and all that but..why creating more terms? It's basically neglect. It can be different situations but at the end of the day, is still neglect, which it has many non excusable reasons,no matter what situation, is a form of emotional abuse. and it can happen to anyone:all genders,POC or white,lgbtq or cishet.
Many parents exhibit toxic and abusive behavior influenced by culture, generational trauma, or personal issues. This can include favoritism toward one child over another based on shallow reasons like appearance or arbitrary characteristics. Similarly, neglectful parents justify their actions with excuses like being tired, working, or caring for other family members. Such behaviors are harmful and unjustifiable.
In various scenarios, disabled kids may be viewed as burdens, facing neglect or preference towards non-disabled siblings, while a similar pattern unfolds with daughters overshowed in favor of sons due to internalized sexism,and for the dark skinned folks are ignored by their family, just to favor of their lightskinned sibling
Surprisingly, there seems to be no coined term for neglect based on ableism, colorism, sexism, etc., in these instances. (as far as I know,if someone does know those terms. Pls do tell. Idk, my first language isn't english so).
.
#i had no idea that was a thing#i'd have to look into more. it doesn't sound like a term created with malicious intent#but i can definitely understand why it would rub people the wrong way#neurodivergent culture#mod milo#also thank you for using the different colours. not sure what its original purpose was but being someone with adhd#it helps a LOT when reading long texts
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Slowly rotating designs for the meat marionette bodies.
Only sketched Dick & Bruce for now, but I like to think that they're partially made from their own blood. Any corpse that doesn't make it to the morgue, human or animal, might get dragged down by tendrils Gemini Home Entertainment style to the Hive.
Apologies if I am spamming, but what do you think @phoenixcatch7? Tried to make Dick look slightly more mammalian or avian compared to Bruce but idk if that came through lol.
#meat marionette au#batman#batman au#dcu#dc#body horror#sketch#art#Bruce is like 15 foot tall if including the ears lol#Dick is like 4 to 4 1/2 feet tall#Of course this is if they're standing on their legs and not on all fours#Random thing but Bruce definitely picks up his kids by their necks like a big mama cat lol#Also helps preens their wings especially since they have feathers unlike him#You can't tell me they can't contort their limbs or turn their head a solid 180 or even more#Omg the kids can use their tails to hang from things upside down or from Bruce's arms like shopping bags lmao#Curse you ADHD for latching on#Knowing it I will get a lot done in like 3 days and then procrastinate for months after lol#Y'know I wonder what Commissioner Gordon thinks about the Bat & what Gothamites in general feel about them#Like they're visibly protecting them but that doesn't make them any less unnerving or terrifying y'know#The bats might not kill but that is in fact a *threat*#Fun fact did you know over half your bones are in your hands :)
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If you're going to reblog my (admittedly very ADHD) post about, to borrow someone else's excellent summation, bees in the brain, to say 'OP check your medications', have you considered:
not doing that
#listen. you may think you're being helpful.#can you just. please. for five seconds. consider the words you say to other human beings. thank you.#anyway I block people who smugly diagnose me on that post because#it's not somehow fine and not rude as hell to tell someone they have a mental illness based on one paragraph they wrote#just because the mental illness is ~fun and ~relatable#you don't know me and you are DEFINITELY not medically trained keep your fucking opinions to yourself#(note: this does not go for 'this can be a symptom of ADHD'/'I experienced this and then I got diagnosed'/'OP have you looked into'#just the smug 'yeah it's the ADHD'#why don't you fuck off into the nearest pond with that)#(real alive people on the internet are not fictional characters for you to project onto and headcanon about)#(and we are not friends for me to take this as a fun jokey thing. you are a stranger. and you are being INEXPRESSIBLY rude.)
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symptoms of adhd that hua cheng displays:
1. hyperfixation
2. jumping from interest to interest/collecting a lot of random knowledge and skills
3. inability to focus on things that don’t interest him
4. rejection sensitive dysphoria
5. emotional dysregulation - bursts of anger
6. saying/doing things impulsively
7. fidgeting when bored
#hua cheng#my hyperfixation demon#tgcf#adhd#meta stuff#because this doesn’t get talked about as much as autistic xie lian#but he’s soooooo adhd that’s why he is Like This#take extreme adhd and trauma and then give him 700 years to learn all the skills and be the Most about it#gay and neurodivergent that’s why he’s the ghost king obviously#like it’s sooo funny the way he CANNOT write like he just. cant focus on it. cant#even when xie lian is trying to teach him he’s just whining and trying to flirt w xie lian and distracted#but at the same time he knows at least 4 dead languages#anyway i definitely have a post cooking about like. compatible neurodivergence#and things hualian do that affirms each other’s neurodivergence. if that makes sense#i’m sorry i’m on 2 hours sleep and i have a migraine i’m trying not to think too hard rn#lmao
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