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chiruba · 3 years

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JJK BOYS' BEING SCARED TO CONFESS !

an. thank u for 100 + followers!! <3 holy fuck inumaki’s was hard to write bc of the letter LOL also heres to hopin my tags actu work for this post

ft. gojo, inumaki x gn!reader

wc. 1.2k

genre. fluff, angst if u squint in gojo's

► MASTERLIST ► TAGLIST ►

GOJO SATORU ►

— OK so usually i wouldn't imagine him as being scared to confess

— but,

— if he really likes you, i think his hidden insecurities will start comin out

— yes, gojo is the strongest sorcerer

— but even the strongest sorcerer can't save everyone

— he knows you'll be targeted if you're openly with him

— so gojo represses his feelings as best as he can

— which for some reason involves him -

— flirting with you one day

— and then completely ignoring your existence the next

— eventually you just get tired of it

"satoru!" you yell, surprising yourself from the sheer volume of your voice. it's clear he knew you were coming, but you still see the way his shoulders tense when you call his name. gojo at least has the decency to stop, and you're unsure if it's because he doesn't want to risk making you angrier, or if this is one of the days' he'll actually talk to you. you huff in anger before gripping his wrist to spin him around, and you can tell he's avoiding your eyes despite the black blindfold around his eyes.

"well?" you ask, tone cold and straightforward. gojo decides to take a glance at you, and sees you standing there with crossed arms, looking at him like a disappointed parent. "are you going to stop giving me the cold shoulder and tell me what's going on? i'm not in the mood to play some childish game, gojo." the use of his family name coming from you makes his heart ache, and he panics at the thought of you being genuinely angry and upset at him rather than mildly annoyed.

"i'm not playing some game," he says, and you feel yourself straighten up at the seriousness in his voice. your eyebrows furrow together in concern as you try to think of your last few interactions with gojo. he hadn't been acting this way with anyone else but you (you know because you'd asked nanami, and nanami knew all), and if this wasn't some game he was playing, had you done something to make him upset? the thought makes you feel guilty, remembering how you'd scolded him like a child just moments earlier. was it the joke about his forehead? surely he'd know you hadn't meant it, no matter how true it was-

"i love you-"

"your forehead isn't that small-"

...what?

you blinked at him once, then twice, then thrice, and then a fourth just to make sure you really weren't dreaming right now. your best friend of years, with his cocky attitude, cute dumb jokes and flirty remarks that made your face heat and heart race was in love with you? gojo lifted his blindfold suddenly, cocking an eyebrow up at you.

"hey! what about my forehead?-"

"i like you, too." you breathed out, voice shaky with either excitement or nervousness, you couldn't choose. gojo stared at you with those ocean coloured eyes of his, and then broke out into a grin.

"hmm?" you braced yourself, already knowing gojo's incessable adorable teasing was coming, "i don't exactly think i said like, did i?"

INUMAKI TOGE ►

— i def see inumaki being more scared to confess

— 1. because he can't think of a proper way to tell you his feelings

— a text just doesn't feel personal enough or embed his true feelings

— which leaves inumaki in a dilemma

— obviously, panda is quick to catch onto inumaki's feelings

— when he learns about inumaki's dilemma, he just bursts out laughing

— panda offers him the very simple solution - write a damn letter

— inumaki was so caught up in his feelings he literally just did not Think of it.

— spends hours writing the letter and tearing up it several times while also rehearsing how and where he would give it to you

— until the moment actually came, and all inumaki could do was shove the letter into your hands, yell tuna mayo, and run away.

— … yeah

your early sunday mornings had started consisting of heading down to the field every tokyo jujutsu school student used as early as your first week as a first-year, causing you to quickly develop a routine - get changed into your gym clothes, head down to the field earlier on to relax before maki kicked your ass, and then rush back to the dorms for a shower. except this time, you were pleasantly surprised to see that halfway through your routine, you were met with the familiar cute face of a fellow student, cursed speech user inumaki toge.

"inumaki?" you say, giving him a smile before slowing down your own steps to allow him time to catch up, watching as he sped to you. "you're up early for once," you teased, knowing how grumpy he can get without his allocated sleeping time. once inumaki catches up to you, you continue walking on, fully expecting inumaki to just continue alongside you. only for him to catch you off guard completely, gently spinning you around to face him once more.

seeing inumaki up close, you quickly take notice of the flush of red on his cheeks, popping out from under his collar, along with the sudden dark eye circles. inumaki's breathing is muffled, but loud enough for you to hear he's panting, the rapid rising and falling of his chest confirming it. you furrow your eyebrows in concern, also noting the way inumaki had practically sprinted to you moments before for no reason, along with the absence of his usual cheery - "kelp!"- greeting.

"inumaki?" you say once more, your tone both obviously worried and confused, "are you feeling okay?-" you have to practically plant your feet into the ground to stop from stumbling back when inumaki shoves something into your hand suddenly, only realising its a slip of paper when you feel it crinkle in your palm after an experimental squeeze. you look back at inumaki for even just a hint of an explanation, and instead all you get is -

"tuna mayo!" he yells, and then takes off running. you're left in a daze as you watch inumaki's figure become more and more distant, and only when you can no longer see him do you remember the paper currently crinkled up in your hands. the first thing you notice are the little onigiris drawn on the top of the paper, an inumaki staple as you'd like to call it. this time, the onigiris have blush streaks on their 'cheeks' as they hold hands, a single heart bouncing off their heads.

to you,

toge here! obviously i know it's not february anymore, as you (probably? lolol dumbas) know, but panda i'm tired of letting my chances slip past me.

there are so many things i want to say to you every day, but now that i'm here i don't even know where to start, so i'm just going to say it properly. i like you like a shitton. i wish i could say this to you properly, if i had the confidence if i could, i would scream my love for you to the world. i may not be your first date, kiss or love, but i want to be your last, just as i hope you'll be mine.

there are thousands of other things i want to say to you, but i'll save it until i get your reply. please don't feel pressured to accept me, no matter what, you'll always have a special place in my heart, my first love.

from hopefully yours,

toge inumaki. 🍙

ill give u a kiss goodnight if u reblog <3

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo x reader #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #inumaki x reader #jjk inumaki #inumaki to/ge #inumaki to/ge x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen inumaki #jujutsu kaisen gojo #gojo fluff #inumaki fluff #jjkmag

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admiringlove · 3 years

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IX: aparecium; an incantation to always remember.

— you finally read all the other pages of his diary.

+pairing: miya atsumu x reader.

+genre: crossover(hq x hp); fluff; angst; frenemies to lovers.

+word count: 2.9k.

+warnings: FLUFF!! pls, if i don’t put fluff, some of my moots would cry(*cough* ray).

+usual customers(taglist): @babyworld @renee1414 @anotherhydrangea @seita @tobiosnoelle @weebslxt @tsukkiwaifu16 @loveusandoor @kozumebri @sarawrz @crackheadsara @kyuudere @cultsax @supernovaa-a @akaashikeijisan @b3llo-there @sugasloverr @kagebunshiin @tetsurolls @velvetfireworks @kritiiiii @1wai@seijohlogy @sweetrosemilktea @bellesowl @ems1des @akaashi-todorki @sakuric @irishhbamb @sweetsamus @cherriechurros @mxshimoo @bluebirdandcomrades @zukuroo @denki-core @sarahvvictoria @littlevoxine

+author’s notes: this is the last chapter(im def not sad) BUT i will be writing bonus parts!!

+navigation: previous, masterlist,.

You stand in front of your apartment, sighing as you close your eyes, making your way inside your bedroom and begin to pick up the cardboard boxes with the help of your wand, moving them outside into the living room for someone(who is quite late, yet again) to take to your new home.

You tie your hair up, fixing your overcoat a little as you sigh, making your way to the smallest box, placed in the corner of the room. Just by looking at the stamp on top of it, you smile.

The memories of your time at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

You carefully sit on your knees, your plaid skirt riding up just a smidge, as you open the carton in front of you.

To say that it was filled up completely was an understatement because right now, a few books and photographs fell out onto your lap, making you chuckle. You picked up the photographs, settling with your back against the wall and your legs stretching out, as you looked through them one by one.

The first one—one of your graduation ceremony, standing next to Shimizu Kiyoko(the current owner of the most popular Quidditch shop in London) who was beaming vividly at the camera with you, holding up your wands as a gesture that you had finally done it. Something that seemed almost insurmountable when you first started school, and now? You all were content, happy with your lives.

The second photograph was one from the third year, your first time in Hogsmeade. You were in The Three Broomsticks, and a mustache of the froth from the butterbeer had formed atop your lips. Behind you, a certain fox pointed and laughed his guts out.

The next picture was from the Shrieking Shack—where all of your friends had ditched the second last day of school and spent the whole day drinking and reminiscing the past seven years of nostalgic happiness. A boy held your hand with the fondest look in his carob orbs, and you returned it.

You gingerly took the three photos, storing them in the photo album that had also fallen out of the box in the process of you opening it. Smiling, you took out some more mementos.

Your broomstick, the Nimbus 2001, sat at the bottom, but you excitedly removed it and placed it on the ground, saying, "Up!"

It almost made it to your hand but fell down upon grazing your fingertips. You pouted, blaming the number of years it had passed since you had played Quidditch. Peering into the box as you placed the broomstick aside, you found something even funnier.

Cheap, piss colored hair-dye that was almost ten-years-old.

You chuckled, looking at it playfully as you opened the top of the bottle. The disgusting odor that came from it made you grunt as you immediately placed the cap back on top, never desiring to touch that thing ever again. And once more, you placed the item in your hand to the side, looking into the box to find more things that reminded you of your happiest years.

You couldn't believe your eyes at what sat at the bottom of the carton.

An empty notebook with a soft leather cover, with a grey quill by its side, sitting there and ridiculing you.

You blinked twice, making sure what you were seeing was real. Hell, you even rubbed your eyes until you could see mindless patterns in the dark. You opened your eyes, the patterns making themselves sort of visible in plain sight, disappearing after a few milliseconds when you grabbed the brown book in front of you and whispered with your wand in hand, "Aparecium."

September 2, 20**.

I don’t know what I’m doing at this point. It’s been 3 years since I started loving her. When I saw her walk into the train today, umm, yesterday cause it’s past 2 AM now… I felt so happy?? I mean, I know I tease her and all, she’s quite amazing. She’s got the brains for it all and insults me back even when I say something stupid. I really dunno. 3 years and I’ve made 0 progress. I seriously need to re-think my decision about my love for this girl 'cause 'Samu says there’s no chance she loves me back. Dunno if I’ll be able to stop my feelings, though. I’ve liked her since my second year. Damn me, for being such a lovesick puppy. And to think I colored my hair for her too. [Y/N] called it piss-colored. Out of all things, why the fuck would ya compare somebody’s hair to piss? That’s utterly disgusting. I wonder where [L/N] gets these dumb ideas. Damn her, that slug. Anyways, I have class in a couple hours. G'night.

'Tsumu.

You immediately let out a hearty laugh, flipping to the next page when you remembered a certain encounter with the boy who wrote the diary. The day he told you he loved you, by the infamous Black Lake, he spoke of this particular page. He said that he addressed the nightly trips around Hogwarts, about how much he longs to be yours, about his happiness when he sees you, and your snarky comments that are just as, if not more, witty than his.

September 4, 20**

Today was the third day of school. Also my first trip around Hogwarts with [Y/N] under my invisibility cloak. We snuck into the kitchens and got ourselves steak pies and treacle tarts, and then went to the Astronomy Tower where we ate them while laughing about nothing in particular. I love these little trips. They make me all warm and fuzzy inside. Dunno how to put it into words, but I really like spending time with her alone. It makes me really really really happy. I wish that someday, maybe when I'm all grown up and play for a known Quidditch Team and she's a DADA professor, we are still like this. Going around to aimless places, eating food, and laughing about the old times(or anything really, I just want to be with her even when I'm older). And just like always, she doesn't fail to throw dumb comebacks at me. I can't help but chuckle at them, because sometimes they really are offensive. Well, looks like it's time to hit the hay now, so g'night.

'Tsumu.

You gasp as the page comes to an end, a hand on your mouth. He wasn't wrong when he said he wrote about you. You smile as a tear runs down your cheek as you flip to a random page this time, and you realize that it's written in his sixth year of Hogwarts.

December 23, 20**

I stayed back for Christmas break this year and my dorm is all empty. So is hers, because she says she didn't want to go back home at all until the summer. I feel bad for her gran, that woman must feel lonely.

You giggled at the line, grinning because you remember your grandma sending you a Howler, which yelled at you in the empty dorm-room for not coming home for the holidays. She said she missed you, and that your grandfather's health was deteriorating. She had also said that she knew why you didn't come back, and that it was okay, because she understood that you couldn't see another loved one go. The Howler ended on a sorrowful note, but everything eased back into its place because you remember the writer of the diary in your hands being there to comfort you when a dreaded letter came in after the holidays. You continued reading where you left off, wiping away the new wave of tears that had emerged from the memories.

Yesterday, me and [Y/N] went around the castle under the invisibility cloak I gave her. It was fun because I always get to see this little smile on her face that only shows up during these trips. We also went to the forbidden section of the library just because we wanted to look at a few spells that are probably illegal. I did accidentally kill a rat practicing the second unforgivable curse, and [Y/N] helped me hide all the evidence by feeding the dead rat to the Hippogriff she had found in the Forbidden Forest. I swear, if someone saw the way I did the spell and couldn't stop until [Y/N] threw Expelliarmus at me, they would throw me in the deepest pin in Azkaban and I'd probably never be able to see [Y/N] again. Anyway, I have to go back out for dinner now. G'night.

'Tsumu.

You, again, laughed at the man's childishness. You recollect distinctly how scared he was, that he had almost pissed his pants in the Courtyard that night. You had assured him that nothing would go wrong and that your lips were completely sealed, because he was your friend of course, so you had quickly formulated a plan to help him. And yet again, you flip to a new page, one from the fifth year this time.

July 15, 20**

I hate this part every year. Ever since my third year, it sickens me to come back home for summer. I can't see her because she lives in Lambeth while I'm in Westminster with my posh family. It makes me a little angry sometimes that my family is well-known in the wizarding world because this means my summers are filled with whatever my parents want me to do. The train ride back home was definitely not quiet. It was so chaotic(mostly because of the constant bickering between me and [Y/N]) and Kita-san yelled at us at the end. That was the first time I've ever seen him get angry, so he was either really fed up or we were being too dumb. Anyway, I'm gonna miss Hogwarts a lot for the next month or so, because after that I get to see her again. Honestly? Can't wait for the sixth year. I hope she grows taller, because right now, she's quite the midget. I'll write her a letter or two, but I probably won't send all of them. G'night for now.

'Tsumu.

You continue reading it all. Page by page, parchment by parchment, word by word, letter by letter until you finally get to the last page. The one he wrote on the graduation day, where he says that he wants to marry you someday. But you don't get to read it just yet, because he walks into the room with his booming voice and boyish grin.

"[Y/N]! Sorry I'm late, sweetheart! I apparated back home as fast as I could 'cause Coach saw me slack off a lil-"

"So ya actually read it all, huh?" he smirks, walking up to you and crouching down next to you, "Ah, the last page, have ya read it yet?"

"Not the last one," you smile, "—if only I'd read these sooner, we wouldn't have gone through all that mindless drama in seventh year, right?"

"Eh, 'twas kinda worth it in the end," he shrugs, sitting down next to you and placing his thumb on your chin, "Love, you've been crying?"

You shook your head lightly, letting out a small chuckle which to him sounded like the sweetest melody on the face on the planet, "Tears of joy, 'Tsumu. You were a cute teenager in love."

He smiles with his teeth on display, his fading blonde hair falling on his face with perfection as he whispers, "Only for you, darling."

"I'm glad," you mutter, closing in and placing a ghost of a kiss on his lips when you realize, "Wait, shit! We have to take all of this to the House! I'm supposed to leave for Hogwarts tonight!"

"Kiss me first, then we'll talk."

"'Tsumu, you really didn't have to come all the way to Hogwarts to drop me off," you giggle, as the yellow-haired man intertwines his fingers with yours quietly, giggling along with you as he says, "Hey, now yer students get to see yer hot boyfriend that you've been with for the past eight years."

"My stupid boyfriend that did a lot of illegal things in school. You're not exactly a good influence, you know," you mumble, earning a little offended open-mouth Atsumu walking alongside you to your quarters. He continues faking the vexed expression, a hand on his heart as he says, "How could ya wound me like this, baby?"

"I love you though, so it's justified," you say, opening the door and placing your trunk by the bed. He closes the door, leaning on it with his arms crossed over his chest as you set up your things in the room. When you turned around, you saw Atsumu looking at you with the most enamored look in his clove-infused eyes. You sighed, your shoulders immediately relaxing when your orbs land on him by the door. You step towards him, your beige trench coat trailing behind as you wrap your arms around his very muscular figure(now that he's a part of Nottingham Jackals as a Beater).

"You're going to leave, aren't you?" you mumble against his chest softly, as he chuckles out, "Yer lucky ya get to stay in Hogwarts when I'm gone. Everything's gonna remind ya of me."

Before you open your mouth to retort, your boyfriend says, "Don't worry, slug. I'll send ya letters everyday. And I'll come to meet ya twice a month. Maybe you can even let me meet yer students."

"'Tsumu, no-"

"Imagine! Children and teenagers, all of 'em love me to death. They'll love yer class, even more, when you make me meet 'em!" he exclaims, his eyes filled with curiosity, "Also, also! What about the third years? I wanna be there when the boggart lesson goes on-"

"'Tsumu, no. The school won't allow it. Although, my students do come and ask about you a lot because they like your Quidditch playing skills. They're not idiots like me, they won't fall in love with your stupid personality," you chuckle, pulling away from the hug, but still holding his arms with yours. He pouts, pulling you into a soft kiss, but immediately pulling away and winking at you, "I'm gonna see ya in a few weeks. Maybe I'll take ya on a date to Hogsmeade again, we can sneak into the Shrieking Shack again under that invisibility cloak."

"'Tsumu, I'm a teacher, not a student!" you laugh, but he simply says, "If anything, that gives us an excuse!"

Miya Atsumu never expected you to be agitatedly running around in your green-room, trying to find things for your hair and make-up. He chuckles lightly because all the other people in the room can do is shake their heads and sigh at your frantic state. Your maid-of-honor, Kiyoko, tried to calm you down about half an hour ago, but it was to no avail.

Atsumu sent Kiyoko a knowing glance, to which she and all the other bridesmaids stepped outside for just a minute.

"[Y/N]," he says, his voice low but still soothing. You stop in your tracks, turning around and gasping as you looked at him—clad in sweatpants and a white shirt—and widened your eyes.

"Dummy, you aren't supposed to see me just yet! Go away and wait at the altar!" you yell, walking over to him and attempting to shove him outside the room.

Emphasis on the word, 'attempting'.

"You look exactly like what you are right now, a slug. So listen to me, love. I need to give ya something before you start stressin' out all over again," Atsumu murmurs, placing his hands on your shoulders tenderly as he pulls out a book with a leather cover and hands it to you.

You sigh, picking it up as you sit down by the vanity. Atsumu looms behind you, crouching down to whisper next to your ears, "Love, open the last page, will ya?"

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, turning your head to look at him with exasperation. He places a peck to your cheek, humming indulgently as an indicator for you to continue as he instructed. You sigh again, shoulders drooping low as you turn over the book and open it, and muttering, "Aparecium."

July 2, 20**.

I want to marry [L/N] [Y/N] someday.

Miya Atsumu.

From the last day of the seventh year, and Atsumu continues to explain to you that during the train ride back home when all of you were sleeping, was when he wrote the last entry of his diary, and never opened it again. Because he knew, that he meant every word scribbled on every page.

You sat there, listening to the man with the messy faded blonde hair, losing yourself in his perfect brown eyes all over again. You felt as if you were diving deep into an ocean of pure chocolate, the sweetness and the slight bitterness getting the best of you as you drown—but voluntarily, because drowning was your intention.

"I love you, Atsumu," you say out of nowhere, cutting him off. He stops abruptly, his eyes growing wide and his mouth forming into a pout. His lips form into the brightest smile ever, as if the rays of a thousand suns meeting at one point. His boyish grin melts your heart, as he presses his lips to your forehead and says, "I love you more, darling. Now, take a breather, will ya?"

"Oh, and before I go. Don't disappoint me today, slug. I've been waiting to do this for the past eleven years."

i’m not crying. yes.

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belphegorbillickin · 3 years

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Hmm I didn't particularly get an om matchup before this, but I got guys from other fandoms who I DIDN'T even know LOL like,,, the matchups were cute and all, but who tf is that guy??

However, my friend stated that I could go with Mammon well, but I didn't think so. He's sweet and I love him, but he's just dumb someone I'm literally not attracted to. He's also too childish, and while I like that, we're better off as friends lol. Mature guys with a mischievous side to them lol or JUST mature even (as long as I can drag him into mischief hehe), I like that more romantically tbh. Also proves how your matchup was accurate tbh ^^

Similarly with Levi, we're better off as friends. I'm surprisingly really into anime and video games (thanks to my brother) but still. Clingy people... Oof. And esp if they get offended then.. o o f.

Diavolo is someone I view as a literal friend, idk why. BUT SIMEON CAME AS A PLEASANT SURPRISE AGAIN LOL.

How about you? Who do you think you're most compatible with? – 🍹

Sorry, I've been a little busy dealing with doctors visit and the side effects with a new medication. I keep passing out or getting dizzy enough that I have to lay down while writing lol, but this new stuff should be way better in the long run! I also got to change my heart meds into something I take once a day that's supposed to have less side effects too!

But yeah, I can't really see Mammon at all lol. Levi is definitely a specific niche that most people prob wouldn't be into, but I also think people ignore his personality and make him into a human otaku stereotype instead of a complex demon using his hobby as escapism. Even his fans often turn him into a western gamer or uwu weeb boy stereotype imo.

Levi and Diavolo were definitely put there to be friends though, I just felt like a mini rant lol.

IDK who would you say just based on how I talk and write? Jk, I love pretty much all of the obey me characters in different ways, but tbh I wouldn't set out to date any of them irl.

I'm someone that'd much rather be alone than with someone stressful, and I'm an "extreme" antisocial introvert for the most part anyway. Even ignoring the danger and demon/angel problems they're just annoying and not exactly great partners lol.

If I had to choose though it's definitely Beel. Assuming the whole running out of food and human-eating thing isn't any more of a problem than in game that is. I mean even his brothers are scared of Beel eating them in his sleep.

He's just so sweet and chill, Beel just wants a simple happy life and so do I. He may not always succeed, but he tries to be responsible and keep MC safe. I feel like everyone else is so stressful and wants to play mind games or feels like they have to.

There's also the problem of Belphie though, it'd be pretty much impossible to spend all that time without him being a part of it and Beel would prob enable him.

Belphie is the toxic emo bf I've always wanted, but even ignoring the whole murder thing he's extremely clingy and manipulative.

I'd def feel way less bad about telling off than I would with Levi though. I'd actually step on him on purpose when he falls asleep on the floor if he wouldn't be so terrifying irl.

I've gotta be honest though, that and the manipulation is what makes him hot in the first place. I wouldn't be into him if he was just "sleepy softboi uwu."

Also I would never willingly let it be known that I like Belphie to anyone irl, especially not to him. I'd probably still couldn't stop myself from being a huge simp, but y'know. All it'd take is some fingerless gloves and piercings and it'd all be over for me.

I guess there's a decent chance of him worming into the relationship and being "compatible" that way. Honestly overall he'd still probably be one of if not the one I'd enjoy hanging out with the most. He's pretty much the perfect blend of chill, mischievous, and fun to go back and forth with.

I love Levi and I'd honestly be happy being a shut in with him, but tbh I can't help but feel like I'd reach a bad end with him even if I try to imagine them less demonic. At least Belphie's too lazy to do much so long as you prioritize him.

I can't help but see Levi getting worse the more confident he gets and the more he feels like he has claim over you. The more he monopolizes the more he needs to feel secure and etc. Envy iis kinda never ending that way and I'm not someone that'd spend enough time with the others for him to back off.

But ignoring that and sticking to canon I think we'd both be super compatible as friends and probably end up being more. Although tbh I have a ton of bad memories with guys like him, mostly just as friends but y'know, to the point where it affected how much I liked him for a while at first.

Despite what I said he'd probably be the least terrifying irl because the danger is more subtle and kind of forgotten after the trivia. If anything the romantic side would probably really start from me hiding from Belphie in his room all the time lol.

#asks #personal

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flippyspoon · 6 years

Note

flippy, hiiiiii, another question: do you think billy would say 'i love you' first? he strikes me as a guy who feels deeply and with steve he'd try to show it the right way, you know? but its like canon that steve won't say it back right away after nancy, unless he was sure, and i imagine it'd go hard on billy? to wait? until the boy he loves would return his feelings?

added note: idk that i did the billy feeling deeply and trying to show it the right way (well def not the showing it the right way lol). which i think could be done… like it’s not obvious for billy but i think billy’s really elastic because we haven’t seen a lot of him…it makes him a lot of fun to play with trying to see how different emotional behaviors would work for his character? hmm…anyway…

i was thinking of how this would work and it gave me an idea of billy saying it while trying to be casual and smooth like he doesn’t really mean it but he totally means it and then it got mixed in with ‘billy shows love by doing weird ass childish shit’ and then the insecure steve became a not insecure steve (but i need to write that too). this is sort of like the inverse of a fic i just wrote a week ago actually. anyway not that you asked for a ficlet but here lol:

Smooth Operator

Billy couldn’t understand why they called it “falling” in love when it felt more like getting smacked in the back of the head with Steve’s bat. If it had been a fall, it had been hard and fast. One day he just wanted to bone Harrington and then suddenly it seemed he needed Steve, needed those sweet, soft, brown eyes and snarky tongue.

They had been dating for a while. By now Billy had thought so often and so intensely at Steve: I love you. It seemed that if you thought something so much you might fuck up and actually say it and he couldn’t do that, at least not yet.

Because Steve hadn’t said it.

Not that Billy was keeping score but Billy was definitely keeping score and if Steve was not in love with him, Billy was going to keep his damn mouth shut at least as far as love went, and hope for the best (which had never worked before).

Sometimes Billy got the urge to tell Steve he loved him. He’d be sitting across from Steve at Fredo’s Pizza and there would be a break in the conversation and Steve would gaze at him with those dopey, beautiful, sweet eyes and Billy would almost say it.

Sometimes he had to do something to stop himself, like plugging a leak.

Once he sucked a little bit of Coke into his straw and blew it out into Harrington’s face.

Steve sputtered and wiped his face with a napkin while Billy clenched his fists under the table, turning red.

“What in the hell did you do that for?” Steve said.

“I dunno,” Billy muttered.

Another time while they were doing homework, Steve randomly reached over and picked up Billy’s hand and kissed his palm and Billy almost said it again but instead he sucked his finger and stuck it in Steve’s ear.

“Gah! Billy! You’re such a little shit!” Steve said, but he was laughing.

“Sorry,” Billy said, as if it were some uncontrollable bodily function he was apologizing for. Doubly weird because Billy wasn’t easily given to apology.

He gave Steve wedgies, flicked crumpled up pieces of paper at Steve in class, kicked the back of his foot, tweaked his hips, or occasionally just walked up and bit him hard on the shoulder. Steve didn’t seem to mind. Sometimes he only laughed and kissed Billy which made Billy wonder if he knew it was Billy’s strange way of showing affection.

One day Billy finally cracked.

They were alone at a table in the back of the library which was an okay place to be because he could talk dirty in Steve’s ear and play footsie under the table.

“When we get to your place I’m gonna deep throat you so hard,” Billy whispered in Steve’s ear.

“I dunno about that,” Steve said softly. “Haven’t managed it yet.” But there was a wide smile on his face as if he just couldn’t help himself.

“Oh, I’ve been practicing,” Billy said. “Susan keeps wondering where all the bananas are going.”

Steve snorted a laugh into his hand. “You’re full of shit.”

“And you’re…cocky. Mmmm.”

“Yeah, well you’d know better than anybody,” Steve said.

“Man. What happened to the sweet Harrington I knew?” Billy said. “Used to be so innocent til I corrupted you.”

“You wish.”

“I don’t have to wish,” Billy said, whispering, careful. “I remember the first time I rode you til you were crying my name.” He grinned but his face fell a little at the way Steve tensed up, cheeks flushed.

“Don’t act like it’s…” Steve frowned. “Don’t make fun of it like that. That was…”

“I’m not,” Billy said quickly. “I mean…” What did he mean? He was losing the thread. He wanted to keep things light. Easy. Things were so much harder when they were serious. He licked his lips and tried to switch into a Smooth Operator mode. “Hey…You know, I love you, baby.”

NO.

Fuck fuck FUCK.

That’s now what he’d meant to say and it hadn’t even come out right. He sounded dead serious.

But now Steve only smiled again and said as if it were nothing: “Yeah, I know. I love too. Just…that night meant a lot to me, alright? Thought you were giving me shit.”

Billy just stared at him and finally Steve did a little double-take and said, “Hey. What’s wrong?”

“You…” Billy looked around. There was nobody anywhere near them. Neil was miles away at work. It was just him and Steve and Billy trusted Steve. More than he’d ever thought he could. So he found his voice and said, “You love me?”

Steve looked at him like he was nuts. “Yeah? Obviously? I know I don’t…say it much. Kinda shell-shocked from, ya know…”

“Wheeler,” Billy supplied.

“Yeah… But-”

“You’ve never said it.”

“Sure I have,” Steve said, but now his eyes flicked around like he was searching for a memory. “Haven’t I?”

“No,” Billy said, almost offended. “I know, because I didn’t want to say it first.”

“You say it all the time,” Steve said, laughing.

“No, I don’t,” Billy said. “What’re you talking about?”

“Like when you…” Steve scratched his chin and now he blinked. “Huh. I could swear… Well. Okay. I guess I just…felt like you were saying it. Like you’re so cute about things. You get all nervous and do some dumb shit like gimme a raspberry on my stomach and it… feels like you’re saying you love me? I dunno. Maybe I’m nuts.”

Billy heaved a dramatic sigh and crossed his arms. “No. That’s pretty much true. I guess.”

“Look at you pouting,” Steve said, and he kissed the tip of Billy’s nose. “It’s so cute. I love you.”

Billy felt his cheeks burning up.

“Oh, are we saying it all the time now?” Billy snarked.

“Yeah.”

“Fine.” Billy cleared his throat and murmured, “Love you, Harrington.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Dick.”

#harringrove #harringrove ficlet

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