#daniel looked so good today we were fucking fed i just need that car to be a rocket ship
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#daniel ricciardo#i swear i am still practicing photoshop and it's kicking my ass#i have no hopes in getting that multimedia job i just want to learn at this point cause it might be useful in the future#gradient thing is kicking my ass why do i keep choosing colors and it still ends up gray and black like wtf#so anyway i only use google pics cause i am dumb and i think it ended up being decent whatever#seriously wtf is a gradient thing i can't make it work hoooooooow#daniel looked so good today we were fucking fed i just need that car to be a rocket ship#f1#alpha tauri#vcarb#v-carb#which one is the right spelling???
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Where's My Baby? - Tommy Shelby X Reader
Requested by : Anon
Summary: Reader and Tommy Shelby have a young baby boy and one day, Tommy takes the baby out to the Garrison, only to end up forgetting the baby there and later, the reader is all worried and in tears and Tommy is angry at himself? They end up finding the baby in the end.
Warnings: Tommy being a lousy father | Garrison is still there | John never died | Grace and Charlie never happened |
Thank you to the creators for their lovely GIFs. These aren't mine. ❤️
"We are going to be fine, love. You need to go see your father." Tommy's index finger was tracing circles over the side of your neckline, his warm palm resting on your other shoulder squeezing it for support as he towered over you from your back, your body perched on a chair in the dining room with your eleven months old son, Daniel sleeping soundlessly on your chest.
Being a mother for the first time, you had your apprehensions leaving your baby alone with the household help, although you knew that Tommy was going to take good care of him. At first, you'd thought you would take Daniel with you to London but taking a small baby in a train, bringing him out to the world, was not something you wanted so early. There were all sorts of sicknesses going around outside and you felt that Daniel was the safest in the warmth of the Arrowe House.
"I don't know, Tom, I don't know if I can leave Daniel alone, what if he doesn't want to be fed ? Even the nanny called in sick today. What if he just doesn't stop crying? What if –"
"Love, calm down." Tommy walked up to your front and he knelt down in front of you, placing his palms on either of your knees, looking up into your moist eyes. "Daniel's going to be fine, I promise, I've asked Polly to come over for the day and she will take care of him."
You nodded, the corner of your lips ghosting into a frail yet reluctant smile. You knew he was right, there was no one other than Polly Gray who could take care of Daniel for you, and maybe, even better than you because she was much more experienced than you were. But parting with your baby was like pulling your heart out and handing it to someone else, even if it was for twenty four hours.
Also, there was the fact that you didn't have a choice. Your father, even though you were not on talking terms with him, ever since you had decided you wanted to get married to a Birmingham gangster– he was on his deathbed and he deserved to be given all the love he could from all of his family, at least when he was breathing his last, all past forgotten. You were already dressed and your tiny bag was already packed with a fresh set of clothes because you were only going to go for a day and be back tomorrow, the first train in the morning.
You let out a weak sigh when you saw Mary enter the dining room and clear her throat faintly.
"Mrs Shelby, I have packed your bag for you, is there anything else I can do? I can take the baby if you wish to?"
You shook your head at her, giving her a polite smile and sensing your reluctance, she gave you a brief curtsy and walked out. You finally stood up and carefully, placed your sleeping child in his father's arms, not failing to notice the way he beamed when he was holding his son.
"Tommy, love, make sure to lock the windows of his nursery at night."
"I know, and I will make sure I check his nappies otherwise he might develop a rash." He chuckled playfully, still looking down at the beautiful baby boy you two had created, together.
"Don't tease me." You muttered dryly, almost rolling your eyes at him as you leaned forward and gave your husband a soft kiss. "And please Tommy–" You pulled away, licking your lips, tasting the aftermath of Tommy's lips on you, "– Can you please not come home late tonight? For once, the work can be stalled. I don't want all the work to land on your poor aunt's shoulders. I'm already embarassed as it is. What the fuck must she be thinking? That's not even her child."
"Come on now, stop overthinking things, you know Pol loves the lad like her own."
That she did.
Daniel, ever since he was born, eleven months back, was the light of Polly's life – more so because she had never thought she would see the human side of Tommy Shelby. It awed her that day when she saw tears stream down her nephew's eyes when he heard his cries from the room upstairs for the first time.
"Well, I think I should stop stalling now." You sighed and finally took a step away, forcing yourself to look away. The more you would look at the angel in his arms, the more you will weaken in your resolve.
"I love you both." You whispered as you finally walked down the front steps of the Arrowe House towards the motorcar that was waiting at the doorstep to drop you to the station.
• ───━━━━─ ● ─━━━━─── •
"What do you mean you have to leave? Come on, Pol, you can't fucking do this to me, not today. I have a potential business partner coming in to meet me at the Garrison in two hours."
Tommy shot a helpless Polly a glare of his own, his uncontrollable pacing all over the living room not coming to a halt, his hands fixed to his hips. No, this couldn't be happening to him, he had fuckin' worked hard to get this potential client to meet him for this business meeting.
"Tommy, I'm sorry, Esme needs me. She's in pain, what the fuck do you want me to do?" Polly snapped.
"Ask her to call for a fucking doctor maybe?"
"Fuck off, Thomas Shelby. You should cancel this business meeting that you have and for once, stay home and look after your own spawn." Polly spat out the words, flinching instantly at the harshness of her own words because that is now how she had meant to take out her anger.
"Fine, get out."
Polly shook her head at the stubbornness of his nephew. When was he going to learn?
"Thomas, you have to stop with this attitude. You're a father now –"
"Aren't you getting late now? I thought John's wife needed you." Tommy cut Polly off, his fingers toying with the box of cigarettes as he pulled one out and flicked it to his lips, his fingers now shuffling through his pocket to pull out the matchbox.
"You will never learn."
Shaking her head at her nephew, she grabbed her purse, swinging it over hurriedly over her shoulder, rushing out through the front door. The door slammed shut and the sound of Tommy's match lighting echoed through the air, smoke coiling around him as he stood like a stone statue in the living room, staring into the air, smoking.
It was just a business meeting, he thought to himself, and that too at the Garrison. He could always take Daniel along with him, also, the presence of a baby might even melt the old woman's heart and she might even get distracted enough to agree in doing business with him.
"Mary?" Tommy's voice rang through the halls and the housekeeper dropped the dusting she was doing at the voice of her employer and rushed out.
"Yes, Mr. Shelby?"
"Can you get Daniel ready and make sure he's dressed warm enough? I'm taking the baby out."
"Sure, Mr. Shelby." Mary kept standing there, watching Thomas leave the living room, his heavy footsteps moving away, towards his study. She frowned slightly as she made her way to the baby's nursery. Once Daniel was dressed up in something warm, she filled up his baby bag with a bottle of milk, some cloth nappies and a rattle that the baby loved playing with.
Just then, there was a knock on the door and Tommy was leaning by the doorframe, watching Mary as she zipped up the baby bag.
"Mr. Shelby, I'm sorry to ask but do you want me to come with you, to help with the baby since the Missus is not home?"
The idea appealed to Tommy. It would have been a lie to say he didn't require help with the baby. Had Daniel's nanny been here, he would have gladly accepted but he couldn't take Mary with him. For two reasons. One, he needed someone to take care of the house. Two, and the more important reason, he didn't need unwanted ears prying over his business deal. Besides, Daniel was a good baby, all he needed was to be fed once and then he fell asleep. Or, he would just play on with the rattle if he was awake.
"No thank you, Mary. You may go and resume your work."
• ───━━━━─ ● ─━━━━─── •
If anyone was to see this hilarious sight, any gangster or any of Thomas Shelby's enemy, he would have rolled over the floor, laughing. It wasn't a daily sight that the leader of the Peaky Blinders walked into the Garrison with a stroller, the mindless babbles of a child echoing all through the quiet pub, all eyes on him. If he did feel embarassed, or flustered, he didn't show it.
The minute he entered, he pushed the stroller straight into the private room, the door banging shut. The business deal took over an hour and once done, the door opened once again and a woman with almost greying hair, her eyes like a Mohawk, stepped out, scanning the crowd with her eyes.
With the way Tommy's eyes were relaxed, his hand moving mechanically from his lips back down, a lit cigarette in his hand, it was pretty clear that the business deal had gone in his favour. He walked out with the woman to where her horse was, watching her as she left, galloping down the street like the wind, until she was nowhere in sight.
Maybe it was the stress that work actually caused him, because what followed after was something Tommy would regret for a long time.
Tommy Shelby forgot about his son and instead of going back to the private room to get the sleeping child, he mumbled something incoherent under his breath and walked out of the Garrison, smoking his cigarette. He slid into the motorcar, taking off his cap for a split second to run his hands through his matted hair, before fixing the cap back on. Turning the engine on, he slowly pulled the car onto the road and started driving back towards the Arrowe House, his baby completely forgotten.
It had been three hours since you had reached London. You had already met your father, having had a good one hour discussion with him. You were now sitting at your old home, the place where you had grown up, staring blankly at the ceiling. Your heart was getting restless, you had no idea what was going on back home and whether Tommy and Daniel were doing okay.
Finally, you stood up and huffing in frustration, you grabbed your bag, swinging it over your shoulder and rushed out of the room, running into your mother.
"Where on earth are you off to, lassie?"
"I'm going back home."
You bit your lip, your fingers toying nervously with each other. You were waiting for your mother to begin lecturing you on how you had visiting after years and now you were just going to leave but the words that exited her mouth left you in awe.
"T's okay love, I'm your mother too. I know what it feels like being miles away from your flesh and blood."
Thus, by the time Thomas Shelby was done with the business meeting at the Garrison and was driving back home, you had already stepped off the train at the Birmingham station. You pitched a ride with one of your friend's husbands who you knew worked at the station. It was a fifteen minute ride and he dropped you off at the gate.
Excited, you walked at a fast pace, towards the front door when you saw Mary dusting over a ceramic statue by the entrance. She saw you and almost gasped, not having expected for you to show up after the dark the same day you had left.
"Mrs. Shelby? Is everything alright? I thought you weren't going to back until tomorrow noon."
"I know, I know Mary, I just couldn't rest easy without Daniel. You know it's the first time I went somewhere without him–" Still talking to her, you stepped quietly into your home, the woman following you as she helped you take off your heavy coat.
"I suppose Polly must be inside eh? The house is so quiet." You looked at Mary, squinting your eyes with slight confusion.
"Mrs. Shelby, Ms. Gray had to leave early today. She had some work." Mary lowered her eyes for a split second and your eyes almost widened.
"Oh, I see. Thomas must be upstairs then? With Daniel?"
"About that, Mrs–"
You saw the woman look up at you with nervous eyes, her fingers toying with her white apron and you instantly knew something was wrong.
"Mary? Where is my husband? Is he with another woman? Oh my god, there's another woman up there, isn't it–"
You were already on your heels, storming through the hallway towards the bedrooms, the pleas of Mary falling on deaf ears.
"Mrs. Shelby, No. There's no woman. Mr. Shelby isn't home. He had a business deal to make so he took the baby along."
You stopped walking, your eyes narrowed as you turned towards her. You were furious, more so because you had thought you would find Tommy in bed with some other woman, but this revelation did not do anything to pacify you.
You clenched your eyes shut to calm yourself– it was alright, wasn't it? Of course Tommy would not have taken the baby with him if he was going somewhere that wasn't safe. You trusted your husband that much.
You had almost relaxed now and were climbing up the stairs on your way to your room when you heard the motorcar come to a halt. Tommy stepped out, shutting the door, his steps slow and dragged towards the front entrance. He placed the hand on the doorknob, twisting it until he heard a click and the door swung open.
He took of his coat, hanging it on the coat hanger by the entrance and was about to head straight to his study where he could sit and get some files sorted. You quietly made your way back downstairs only to come face to face with your husband on his way to the study. His eyes widened with surprise as he had not expected to see you.
"Love? You are back early."
You smiled softly, placing your hand on the railing as you gracefully stepped off the last stair and rushed into your husband's embrace.
"It's all fine, Papa isn't angry anymore. You tell me, where's Daniel?" You had by now wrapped your hands around his neck, but your eyes were scanning for the stroller.
It suddenly hit him.
Fuck.
Tommy's hand flew to his head, abruptly pushing you away in the act, his cap falling off, his hand grabbing a hold of his matted hair, almost tugging down on them. You kept looking at him, a horror sweeping over your face when you suddenly realized that Daniel was not with him.
"Where is my baby?!! Where's Daniel Tommy?!!"
It felt as though you didn't know who this man was – standing in front of you, his head almost hung low, his eyes clenched shut. Before you could ask him again, he had already turned on his tail and was speed walking towards the car.
"Thomas Shelby, wait! Will you fucking tell me what's going on?!" You ran along with him, trying to do anything you could to get him to answer you, grabbing his arm or blocking his way until he finally yelled at you.
"I FUCKING LEFT DANIEL AT THE GARRISON ALRIGHT? FOR FUCKS SAKE, WILL YOU MOVE OUT OF MY BLOODY WAY?"
Of course, he had left his baby at the Garrison. What kind of a father was he? You kept standing there, too numb to even react, almost leaning over the hedgerow, your eyes moist and cloudy with worry. What if something happened to Daniel? What would you do? How will you face Thomas Shelby without hating him for it? For fucks sake, you shouldn't have left. You shouldn't have gone to London. You cursed yourself.
Twenty minutes.
You kept walking around the lawn, waiting for a glimpse of your baby, to hear him babble mindlessly in your ears again when you saw the headlights of the car almost flash on your face before coming to a halt with a screech. Your husband stepped out, holding Daniel in his arm, talking to him.
"Will you forgive your daddy, love? Will you forgive me for being the bad, reckless father I have been?"
You walked up to him, your anger still pretty evident on your face and giving you one look, Tommy handed you the baby, not wanting to get into an argument he knew he couldn't win this time. You took Daniel and planted a kiss over his cheek, your tears finally spilling out.
"Mummy's sorry she left you, love. I never should have left. I should have known–" Your angry eyes shot towards your husband and he parted his lips, letting out a weak exhale.
"Love, I'm sorry, I–"
"You can sleep in any other room tonight, but you are not welcome in the bedroom. Not until you realize how you put our son in danger." You turned on your tail and cooing slightly to your son who was now playing with loose strands of your hair, tugging at them and giggling playfully, you walked into your bedroom and closed the door behind you, laying Daniel in Tommy's side of the bed.
Tommy wasn't a bad father, he had never let you feel that away ever but you didn't want him to do anything like this ever again and you knew you had to make sure he didn't. You were eventually going to forgive him, but that day wasn't today.
(I don't have a permanent tag list at the moment but I'm thinking of having one. If you want to be added, please send me message or an ask please.)
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Ash/Athena AU: Unwrapping
In the Honor Bound / Daniel Michaelson’s AU with @whump-tr0pes , Danny sees Isaac for the first time since Corrine took him... and realizes what his mother did
CW: Threats of torture/noncon, nonconsensual touching (not sexual), referenced past torture and noncon. Dehumanization and pet whump.
“If you hurt him, I swear to God, Mom-”
“He’s fine.” Corrine waved one hand dismissively as she met a furious Danny in the driveway. She was already dressed for the party in a short black cocktail dress and a triple-strand of pearls resting lightly against her dark skin, black heels that she walked in with perfect grace. She looked every inch the pure power of the Michaelson group she was. “Oh, you look lovely, Daniel. You and your plaything will complement each other so well.”
Danny shifted, uncomfortable in his Syndicate suit. This one was new, and tailored to adapt to the weight he'd never regained after he came back, but part of him always felt the collar when he had to wear his suits now. Abraham and Ashley had made him wear the one he was abducted in to the parties, so that he’d look more like what he was, until someone paid extra to cut it off him while he was tied to the floor in front of all the guests cheering and screaming and he was bleeding and-
Stop. Focus on Isaac. You have to see Isaac, have to make sure he’s okay. He has to be okay.
“Mom hasn’t done anything more than get your new friend ready for the party,” Patrick said, standing beside Corrine in his own tux, salt-and-pepper hair cut close to his scalp. He leaned in to kiss Danny’s cheeks, one by one, and Danny met the kisses absently, his eyes still on his mother. “I promise.”
Patrick’s voice was low and melodic, with the same charming singsong quality that Ryan had. He and Ryan were the spitting image of each other, from the strong jaw to the sparkling amber eyes to the black curls - although Patrick’s had plenty of gray in this particular iteration of his appearance, and more than a few distinguished wrinkles besides.
“He’s got to be terrified,” Danny said, his stomach twisted in awful knots. He hadn’t been able to eat since he’d thrown up all over the floor, feeling the collar around his neck all over again after watching his mother order Isaac dragged away.
Nate had fed him broth; it was the only thing he could keep down.
His nerves were strung so tightly, singing with constant panic that he damped down through sheer willpower. “You could have let him stay with Nate and I last night, he-... he was probably so scared you’d, you’d kill him or something, Mom-”
“Why ever would he think I would do that?” Corrine raised an eyebrow, and when Danny just stared at her, she laughed - a soft, warm sound. “Oh, because I put a gun to his head. Honestly, Daniel. He’s fine. Mrs. Verona fed him a lovely charcuterie with cheese and fruit for dinner, plus plenty of wine. He was reluctant at first, but…” Corrine shrugged carelessly. “He came around, eventually.”
"... Did you get Isaac drunk, Mom?" Danny asked, blinking rapidly, trying to keep himself from getting angry and upset, fighting back the bite in his words.
Abraham got him drunk all the time. He was so fucking miserable and in so much pain, it was easy to just open his mouth and let it burn down his throat, lap bourbon from bowls they put on the floor while they laughed and said you like that, puppy? and then said he had to earn it-
Stop. This isn't about you. This is about Isaac. Nate has a plan. You can do this, Nate has a plan. Just pretend you want this, like you said. Just pretend you want him as a plaything.
Act like Abraham used to. You can do this. You can be like them to get him out. You can do this.
"Oh, hardly. He needed to loosen up, anyway." Corrine held her hand out to Nate as he walked up, wearing his own deep green suit, and he kissed the Michaelson family crest on the heavy ring she wore. "Any news, Nate?"
Nate nodded, straightening up and smoothing his suit jacket with his good hand. "Yes, ma'am. I m-m-may need to skip out early if m-my lead pans out. We have some r-reports - nothing c-c-conc-... Conc-... nothing that's a sure th-thing, but…"
"Of course. Go as you need to. I want them back." Corrine smiled, licking at her thumb and reaching up to wipe at Danny's cheek.
"I'm twenty-seven, Mom, quit it," Danny said, batting her hand away, stepping back uncomfortably.
"You're twenty-eight, as of today, sweet boy. Happy birthday, Daniel." She smiled warmly, affectionately, and Danny managed a small smile in response despite the nerves still tap-dancing all over his skin. "Would you like to see your new boy? Ryan has been overseeing his final prep for tonight."
The sun was starting to set, lighting everything the peculiarly beautiful golden tinge that made the house seem faintly laced with magic. Danny used to feel comfortable here, at home.
He wondered if Isaac had thought the house was beautiful… or just hellish. Maybe they'd be alone long enough for him to tell Isaac about Nate's plan, to ask…
"Yes, Mom. I want to see him. I've…" Danny hesitated, trying to think of how Abraham would say it if he were here. He forced his voice to sound stronger, more certain, even as he felt ghostly cold fingers card through his hair, and had to hide his shiver. "I had him for five days. I didn't like having to go without. The whole point of having one to keep is that you don't, right?"
Corrine smiled at him - it was such a loving, proud smile, and it hurt Danny to see it. He had fought his whole life for their approval and pride, and had only received it after he had been held in captivity for four years. He had only seen this kind of pride now, now that his mother assumed he was done hiding from what he was and had begun to embrace it.
The thought of what she expected him to be - the very thing that he had been beaten for being, the reason people paid Abraham and Ashley money for time alone with him, for chances to hurt him - made him sick.
But it was what he was, what he’d been born - or adopted - into. Power, and control over their territory. People who did what he said, when he said it. The assumption that he would dehumanize and break down anyone he wanted if he wanted to keep them.
They wanted him to be Syndicate - but Danny’s mind had been broken and shredded alongside his body for the crime of his Syndicate name. He didn’t want to be what they accused him of being.
He didn’t want to be what he was.
He would have given anything, in the moment he looked into his mother’s loving eyes, to have been in the car with Isaac’s team driving far away from here.
He could live with getting Isaac into the car with Isaac’s team. He had to play his part, and keep it up for a while… Nate had a plan but he had to buy Nate some time.
“Then I won’t keep him waiting on you,” Corrine said gently, reaching up to pat the side of his face. Danny stilled under the unwanted touch, but Corrine had never understood or accepted that he did not like to be touched, since he came back.
Not by anyone but Nate, or… or Isaac.
Danny swallowed.
That didn’t matter. That was ruined, too, now - like the rest of his life had been ruined and wrecked. There was no version of what he was that could not be used to break some new hope he’d had to fight so hard to feel.
Nate fell in beside him as they walked towards the house, his right hand sliding warm against Danny’s back through his suit. “It’s going to b-be okay,” Nate whispered into his ear, pressing a soft, reassuring kiss to his hair. Danny closed his eyes and nodded, fighting the heat that built there, the hint of tears.
He fought the urge to whine, to collapse, to whimper it won’t be okay, nothing will ever be okay again. He was a grown man, and he wouldn’t be weak, not today. Not when Nate needed him to play his part.
Not when Isaac needed to get out of here.
Corrine had Isaac waiting for him in a side room off from the main living area, where the party would be. There were already servants everywhere Danny looked setting up the hors d'oeuvres table, laying out the first platters of food just so, setting up the wine fountain in the corner along with the other loose bottles the guests could choose from. Danny felt trapped in a kind of terrible deja vu - this was his childhood, parties like this.
It had once felt natural.
Now, he kept searching for hooks in the floor that he would be tied down to.
Mrs. Verona popped her head out of the kitchen to wave hello to him and he bent himself nearly in half to reach her tiny height for the kiss to each cheek. His smile was more natural, for her, and the tiny ageless woman’s face was a starburst of cheerful wrinkles as she pinched his cheek, just lightly. “Your young man,” She said softly, “Could use a bit of reassurance, I think.”
“Couldn’t we all,” Danny whispered back, and she winked at him.
“Reassurance and fresh air. But he’ll have plenty of air later on, won’t he?”
Danny straightened, turning to look at Nate, who gave him a perfectly innocent, beatific smile in return. Mrs. Verona is part of the plan? Nate only shrugged and kept him moving through the room, Corrine ahead of them and none the wiser. Patrick veered off to speak with some of the guards, giving them their positions along the walls.
“So many guards,” Danny whispered.
“They’re w-w-worried Isaac will r-r-run, or his t-team will try to come b-back for him,” Nate murmured, keeping a hand on his back. Danny forced a false smile, pretending he was just enjoying the gentle affection, that they were just murmuring the sorts of things to each other they might normally say, on a night like this.
“Will they? Do they… do they know the plan?”
“Some. I t-t-told them where to w-wait, and when I’ll g-get him back to th-them. We have to hope they t-t-trust me. If they c-come on their own…” Nate frowned, picking up a little shrimp puff off the food table as they passed, ignoring the glare from one of the servants in return as he popped it into his mouth. “They’ll be slaughtered, and w-we can’t stop that.”
“They can’t be killed, or hurt,” Danny said, insistently. “We have to get them out. They trusted us, they were so nice to us, Isaac-” His voice broke, his whisper cracking apart, and he swallowed back the guilt that might eat him alive. “Isaac trusted me.”
“I know. I’m s-s-sorry it happened this w-way. But maybe w-we can make it up to him,” Nate said gently, reaching up to push back a bit of wavy red hair. It made Danny think of Isaac, tucking a little bit of hair behind his ear before the first time they kissed-
His knees buckled, just a little, and Nate effortlessly caught him around the waist.
Corrine glanced back over her shoulder, and saw only Nate nuzzling into Danny’s neck, whispering into his ear - a soft, shy smile on Danny’s face. She smiled to see them together, with a warm maternal affection.
Her eyes flashed a brilliant purple before she turned back to walk into the other room. “He’s in here with Ryan, darling,” Corrine called, and Danny took a deep breath, lifted his chin, and walked into the formal dining room to see Isaac.
Danny came to a stop in the doorway, staring at his first view of Isaac since yesterday, as his heart… snapped. It was the only word for the sensation he felt, pulled tense until he broke at the sight of a man who had trusted him with himself and his scars and who had been betrayed in return.
Isaac looked gorgeous.
And terrified.
He was standing with a guard on either side of him, his hair neatly combed and shining clean, hands folded in front of himself, eyes on the floor, his chin bent nearly to his collarbone. He wore a perfectly tailored suit that was so close to Danny’s, and Danny had sort of wondered what Isaac might look like all dressed up (or more accurately, how it would feel to see him dressed up and peel that clothing off him piece by piece), and now he knew.
Ryan was standing against the wall, arms folded, with a face like a stormcloud. “Say hello,” Ryan said, his voice oddly harsh and grating, and Danny’s head jerked to the side only to see Ryan’s eyes glowing a light yellow in the dim dining room light. Ryan wasn’t enjoying this - he was angry about it. “Danny, fair warning, you’re not going to like-”
There was a sharp intake of breath from Nate standing next to him, and Danny turned to look at Isaac again. He’d looked up, to meet Danny’s eyes with him, and his mouth - God, that mouth - was stretched in a tremulous, frightened smile.
There was a thick band of black around his neck, and when Danny’s mind allowed him to understand what he saw, he felt the collar wrap around his own neck, too, the constriction that dug into his skin and rubbed it raw and bloody over and over until the scars made the skin too rough to break so easily again.
Then he saw the reddened fresh brand - the M with its intertwining vines - on the side of Isaac’s neck.
“Oh,” Danny said softly. Fury came instantly, a fire he couldn’t even vocalize around, burning him too deeply to speak the words. He barely managed a whisper. “Mom… y-you, you put… you said you, you wouldn’t-”
“I know, darling, and I’m sorry,” Corrine said, with a tone that suggested she absolutely wasn’t. “And it won’t be for long. But we had to ensure he would be on his best behavior for your birthday party, and I knew you wouldn’t want to lead him. Isaac has promised to be very good for us tonight, hasn’t he?”
She shot a look at Isaac, and Danny watched him look at her with open fear before looking back to Danny and quickly nodding. “Y-Yes, I, I can… I won’t, won’t try anything.” Isaac’s voice shook so hard his words were barely speech at all, and Danny wanted nothing more than to walk across the room and rip the fucking collar off his neck.
He settled for being able to do one of those things.
He stepped forward, feeling like he was floating on numb legs, and moved up to Isaac - who cringed away and then caught himself when Corrine’s eyes cut at him again. Danny reached up to put a hand to either side of his face, and looked into Isaac’s frightened eyes. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, just for him.
“Y-you didn’t have to do this to me,” Isaac all but whimpered, and Danny’s heart ached, a nearly physical pain he could feel slowly radiating out, right to the palms and the fingertips that touched a man he would never, ever have wanted to hurt. “You didn’t have to-”
“Stop mewling,” Corrine snapped, and Isaac’s mouth shut all at once with a click.
“Wh-why did you brand him?” Danny asked, and bit back the wail to turn his words into something closer to anger than the grief he felt welling up inside. With a brand, Isaac wouldn’t be safe. Everywhere he went, even if they got him out of here, everyone would know he was a Michaelson plaything.
Everywhere he went, they’d think he could be tortured for Michaelson intel or sold back to them for a reward. Even with Nate's plan, it was a matter of time before Isaac was sold back to them, back into Danny's bed at best or Corrine's tortures at worst. He couldn't hide it, or forget it.
Corrine had trapped him in the lie Danny had told to save his life.
He glanced sidelong at Nate, who was looking at it, too, with that empty stillness he was so skilled at. He met Danny's gaze and gave him a small smile. "Just as l-l-lovely as y, yesterday,"
The plan is still going. Don't falter. Stay strong. Danny knows how to read the words Nate doesn't say.
Danny shook his head, trying to say with his eyes what he couldn’t say in front of his mother, not and have any hope to keep up the charade, to get Nate the time he needed to get his plan in motion. He couldn’t say it if he wanted any chance of getting Isaac out of here. “You’re beautiful,” He said instead, and his voice stayed even, and strong.
Oh, puppy, you look beautiful tonight. Let’s take a ‘Before’ photo, the guys coming over really don’t like your fucking family. Bet you give me one hell of an ‘After’ later on, huh? Smile for the camera, Red.
“You’re beautiful,” Danny repeated, and Isaac closed his eyes, lowering his chin again, shivering under Danny’s touch.
“Thank you,” Isaac whispered.
He hates me, Danny thought, and felt guilt crash into him like a wave. He’ll hate me now, forever. I just wanted… “Take the collar off,” Danny said in a low voice, without looking away from Isaac’s face. “Take it off. He’s already branded, you don’t need to collar him, too!”
“Not an option,” Corrine said lightly. “He will stay in line better with it on.”
“Mom, I said take it off, he doesn’t need a collar to control him!” Danny let go of Isaac and turned to face down his mother, but even glaring down at her and towering over her much smaller frame, he knew he wouldn’t win this one just from the way her jaw set, ever so slightly, and her eyes lit up.
“I am the matriarch of this family, Daniel Michaelson,” Corrine said firmly, a warning edging her voice. "You are my son and you will show me the respect I am due.”
“Mom.” Danny fought to calm himself. “I… I like the suit, you, you did a good job, but I can’t… I can’t, not with him wearing that! Not with our mark on him!”
“I told you not to do it, Mom,” Ryan growled from the wall. He was glaring at the guards on either side of Isaac, and they shifted uncomfortably under his glowing yellow gaze. “You know he hates this shit. You know it. Branding people is all your generation, we don’t fucking brand people anymore!”
“Don’t act like you’re any better.” Danny glared at his younger brother, usually wide blue eyes narrowed to furious slits. “You wanted to do the same fucking thing to him!”
“No, I didn’t!” Ryan snapped back. “I wanted to make you happy and having him stay is one thing, but I wouldn’t have stuck my fucking ring on his neck! I’m a Michaelson just like you, but I’m not a Michaelson like that and this fucking dog-and-pony-show pisses me off just as much!”
“Don’t say ‘dog’,” Danny whispered, feeling blood drain from his face.
Some of the anger left Ryan, and his eyes went back to their usual honeyed yellow. “I’m sorry,” Ryan said, sincerely, putting both hands up in the air. “I’m sorry, Dan. I didn’t-... I didn’t think.” He swallowed, hard. “You, you know that I wouldn’t…”
“No, I know, I just-... shit, fucking hell, Mom, you can’t do this to him!” Danny spun back to his mother, who watched him evenly, with one eyebrow raised.
“Do you want him like you said to me yesterday, or not?” Corrine asked, her voice very low. “Darling, did you lie to me, yesterday? I would be very disappointed with you and upset if you lied to me.”
“I… I didn’t. I didn’t, Mom, I definitely want him,” Danny said, swallowing hard, trying consciously to calm himself even as his hands began to shake. Be Abraham, be Abraham, be Abraham. “He’s fucking gorgeous, and nobody else should get to enjoy the, um, the-the sounds he makes but me.”
“Oh, fuck,” Isaac said, his face somewhere between ash-pale and greenish around the edges. “Oh, fuck no-”
“What did I tell you about language, Isaac?” Corrine said coldly, and Isaac flinched, jerking his eyes back to the floor.
“S-sorry,” Isaac whispered. “I’ll be good.”
Danny’s eyes widened. “What… what did you tell him about language? Is he… did you-... punish him?!”
“Not really. He has agreed to abide by the rules for tonight’s engagement. If he behaves for you, darling, he won’t have to wear it again. The decision is made and my decisions are final.” Corrine clapped her hands together. “If he is not acceptable exactly as he is, perhaps we will simply declare this whole thing a loss and move him to my basement-”
“No!” Danny and Isaac shouted at the same time - one with rage and one with terror.
“God damn it, Mom!” Ryan joined in. The impassive expressions on the faces of Isaac’s guards never changed, and the soft bustle of servants never ceased. This wasn’t the first Michaelson fight any of them had witnessed, and it would almost certainly not be the last. “Don’t fucking threaten to torture Danny’s new man right in front of him!”
“Right in front of Daniel, or the plaything?” Corrine asked, with a hint of a smile that suggested she thought the question very funny.
Ryan rolled his eyes and pushed himself away from the wall. “I’ve read Danny, Mom. He wants Isaac. That’s the honest truth. Come on, give them a minute before the guests arrive.” There was a pause, and then Ryan said, ���Nate, you’re with me for now.”
Nate frowned, eyes narrowing. “M-Michaelson, I’ve said it b-b-before, I don’t w-work for you-”
“For right now, you do. I need to talk to you about this tip you’ve got on the runaways.” Ryan and Nate met eyes for a second, and Danny could feel the tension in the room rising, the way the two men always sparked against each other unpleasantly whenever they interacted directly. “I want to know what information you have on them, Vandrum.”
“Not your b-b-business, Michaelson.”
More silence, and Ryan said in a tone of deadly certainty, “I am making it my business, Nathaniel. So get your ass with me or nothing goes the way you want it to go tonight.”
“Wh-what the fuck does that mean?”
Ryan smirked. “I think you know what it means.” They stared at each other for a few more long, drawn-out, tense moments.
“Go on, Nate,” Corrine waved one hand dismissively, already moving back towards the doorway. “Go with Ryan. Daniel will speak with his plaything privately. Guests will be arriving soon and they really should get a bit of time together.” She smiled over her shoulder at Danny. “I know you’re angry at me for this, darling, but please… it’s your birthday. Be good to the guests. This gorgeous boy is your gift.”
“I could never ask for an… anything better,” Danny replied, mostly honestly, watching Nate's back longingly as he left walking behind Ryan with his annoyance and anger all but radiating off of him. Danny's voice was thin but he covered it, he thought, as well as he could. Fury still boiled under the surface, the temper he’d once had that Abraham and Ashley had broken and beaten and bashed out of him day by day. “Thank you… thank you, Mom. He’s a wonderful birthday present.”
“You’re very welcome, dear.” Corrine smiled. “Oh, and plaything…” Isaac slowly raised his eyes, not quite meeting hers, cringing slightly back against the dining room table. “That’s good. Learning to keep your eyes down when speaking to your betters. I want you to look right at this.” She held up a small rectangular disk with a few buttons and a dial on it, waggling it back and forth in her hands. “You will behave.”
“I will,” Isaac whispered, staring at the thing in Corrine’s hands with pure fear written across his face. “I will. I’ll behave.”
“Good. Bring your new toy out in about… oh, ten minutes or so, Daniel. The first guests should arrive right about then, and I’ll want you and the plaything in the receiving line to greet them. Everyone should get a good long look at my baby boy coming back to himself, finally, after all that’s happened. We’re a strong family, Daniel. I need you to be my strong son tonight.”
“Of course, Mom,” Danny said, nodding quickly, shifting himself minutely so he was blocking Isaac from Corrine’s direct gaze.
“Family first, Daniel,” Corrine said firmly. “Never forget that. We are Michaelsons first.”
“Michaelsons, first,” Danny agreed, readily enough. He met his mother’s cool, appraising eyes, and kept his face calm even as the muzzle scars ached, phantom pains and fire that wrapped around his face and made it hard for him to force his jaw open enough to speak.
There is no life before-
“Perfect. I’m sorry about the collar, darling, but it really is necessary. Just for tonight. You can take it off him before you take him home.” Corrine gave him her warmest, most loving smile, and he managed one, although thin and small, in return.
He held it until she was gone.
With the two guards still standing at Isaac’s elbows, Danny didn’t dare drop the act, or tell Isaac about the plan. That there was one, that he wouldn’t have to live this way, that Danny and Nate were going to get him out of here tonight.
He couldn’t tell him anything.
All he could do was step up, and take Isaac’s hands in his - the other man’s fingers felt freezing cold. Danny’s fingers were rough and numbed from his years with the mercenaries, but he held Isaac’s hands slowly up, rubbing gently at them, trying to warm them. “I’m so sorry,” He whispered, lips grazing Isaac’s knuckles.
Isaac jerked, like he would try and pull away, but stopped himself, staring at Danny with wide, frightened eyes. The thick black ring around his neck made Danny feel dizzily sick, and he tried not to see it, not to look. “Please don’t do this,” Isaac said back, weakly.
“I know, I know. It’s… it’s not all night,” Danny said, pulling Isaac to him. He couldn’t tell him. He couldn’t say a fucking thing to actually make him feel better. Not even a real hint. All he could do was put his arms around the other man, feel Isaac stiff and tense and frightened but apparently threatened too well by Danny’s mother to pull away. “It’s not, um, not for the whole night, Isaac. I promise. It’s… just a little while.”
Just a little while before I can save you.
Just a little while before we get you out of here.
Nate has a plan.
I wish I could tell you.
Isaac’s head dropped slowly onto Danny’s shoulder, half-collapsed against him. He’d dropped his head like this after the third time, Danny thought, swallowing against a rush of guilt and worry. Dropped his head on Danny's shoulder but from behind him, laughing, whispering nonsense in Danny's ear until it tickled and he laughed and tried to wriggle away-
Stop thinking about it, she ruined it, you'll never have anyone like him ever again. No one but Nate, not ever, no one she'll see or know about. Don't even look at anyone else ever again.
He couldn’t come back from what his mother had done, what Isaac had heard him say, just to save him.
“Please let me go,” Isaac said into the skin of Danny’s neck, and there was a sense of dampness - tears against his Syndicate suit. “Please, please just let me go-”
I’m going to.
“I can’t,” Danny murmured into Isaac’s hair, pressing a kiss there. Isaac was shaking, and Danny rubbed at his back with one hand, staring at the wall on the other side of the room, trying to think. There was nothing he could do to warn Isaac that the guards wouldn’t pick up on. There was nothing to do but let Isaac think this was real right up until Nate gave him the signal. “By tomorrow, it’ll be better,” Danny said softly, kissing into his hair again. The guards were staring - Danny could feel their eyes, and he slid his hand up to tip Isaac’s jaw, tilting his head back up, to look right into his eyes and press a soft kiss to trembling lips. “By tomorrow, you won’t have to wear that collar again.”
“I don’t want this, Danny. I don’t… I don’t want this. I don’t want to be this.”
“Ssssshhhh, I know, I know.” Danny kissed at the damp tear tracks on his cheeks, at his forehead. He tilted his head to look at the brand on Isaac’s neck, watched the other man clench his eyes shut under the scrutiny. “I’m sorry she… hurt your neck, and put that on you. I would, would never have wanted-”
“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you just… ask?” Isaac asked, pulling back just to look into Danny’s eyes. “How can you do this to me, after… after what happened to you? Why didn’t you just ask me to stay?”
It was Danny’s turn to drop his eyes and look away. If he looked into Isaac’s eyes a single second longer, he wouldn’t be able to keep up the act, he’d just tell him and the guards would hear and it would… all be over. Corrine would drag Isaac into the basement, torture him for information, Danny couldn’t keep him safe from that…
“Didn’t know it was, um, an option,” He muttered, and pulled back. “Come on, Isaac. Let’s go get in the line for guests.” He pulled Isaac with him, the two guards right behind them, and he kept his hand resting lightly against Isaac’s back the way that Nate would have done for him.
Isaac didn’t lean in or pull away - he walked with slow, purposeful footsteps, and kept his eyes miserably on the floor in front of him.
I’m going to save you, Danny tried to think as loudly as he could. Nate and I are going to get you out of here, and we’ll save you, and you’ll be free and safe and far away from me.
Out loud, all he could do was lean in and say, gently, “You won’t have to stay at the party for very long.”
The way Isaac turned red and closed his eyes against tears told Danny that the words weren’t reassuring at all.
#whump#captivity#caretaker forced to be whumper#Daniel Michaelson's au#honor bound au#whump-tr0pes#shock collar#tw: shock collar#pet whump#dehumanization#broken whumpee#rescue plan#nonhuman whumper
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I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 30
Chapter Summary - Danielle wakes up in a very enviable place, next to a naked Tom. Can the pair make up for lost time?
Previous Chapter
Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)
Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.
authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long. This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.
tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @jessibelle-nerdy-mum@nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller
If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.
Danielle groaned as she heard the alarm go off, she wanted nothing more than to sleep for another ten minutes, or perhaps a day. It was only when she was reaching around she groaned, not able to find her bedside locker.
“I have it.” A deep voice groaned from behind her. That shocked her, and she turned to see the speaker, only to nearly fall as she did so. “I have you.” She stared as Tom grabbed her. “You’re a tad skittish in the morning.” He smiled kindly as he pulled her back to him, this time, her chest to his. Reaching around her, he found the offending phone and tapped on the screen, silencing it. “You said you had work at seven, so I set my alarm for five, since, you know, you had fallen asleep, so we can get you showered and fed before work.”
She looked at him, still trying to process everything, her usually alert brain still not fully awake. “I…thanks.”
“You’re not very good with mornings are you?” the idea of learning something new about her making him smile almost innocently.
“I usually am, but today…” she blushed deeply.
Tom beamed at her. “Did I wear you out?” He asked playfully.
“Not funny.” She leant in, her nose brushing along his neck, looking at the freckles she had never seen on his chest, along with the few hairs, toying with them.
“You know, as much as I adore this time with you, your dallying is not a good thing, you are going to have to get up now, or flip between a good breakfast or a shower, and I would have to urge you towards the shower.”
“Well, that’s what happens when I sleep next to someone like you.” Danielle jested.
“Ouch.” Tom chuckled. “If that happens every time we are in close proximity, I am not going to complain.”
“Do I smell as much as I think I do?”
“Well, to me, you smell very enticing.” Tom grinned, wrapping an arm around her.
“You are supposed to be getting me to get ready for work, remember.”
“You were supposed to get up before my filthy brain remembered I had a beautiful naked woman next to me.” He retorted.
“No, we don’t have time.” She tried to pull away.
“Do you have to go in?”
“Yes, we discussed this before, safety officer.” She turned to get up and went to take the blanket with her.
“What are you doing?”
“I need to go to the bathroom.”
“And that includes the blanket, how?”
“You’ll see me naked.”
“Elle, darling, I saw you from every possible angle naked not too long ago, as well as having slept beside you naked, it is safe to say we should be comfortable in this way with each other now.”
“I can’t.”
Tom frowned. “Why not? Do you regret…”
“What, no, it’s just, you’re you, and I’m ordinary.”
“What’s that supposed to mean, I feel like I should be insulted.”
“You are a sexy movie star, I’m just a normal person.”
“You think I’m sexy?” he grinned.
“I’m not answering that right now,” she replied, going red with embarrassment.
“Well, for the record Danielle Hughes.” Tom sat up, intertwining their hands and pulling her around to look him in the eye. “I happen to think you are the sexiest woman in the world or did my eagerness last night not convince you?”
“You really think I’m…you need to get a guide dog.”
Tom erupted in laughter at her. “Not sure how you have the sense of humour you have Elle, but I love it.”
“Great, blind and mad.” She stated dramatically, causing Tom to pull her towards him again and kissing her.
“Shower, and I’ll get you breakfast.”
“You don’t have to, you must be exhausted.”
“Well, you did a lot of it, if my memory serves me correctly.”
“From the jetlag, Tom.”
“Actually, my daft brain is wide awake, much to my body’s chagrin, so I am more than happy to be assistance.” He pulled himself up, groaning as his back ached in the process. “Though next time, I rather we sleep upstairs.”
“I think I suggested it at one point, taking things upstairs.”
“I was in no position to go anywhere, you were finally on my lap, your lips against mine, your…well, there was no way I was stopping things.”
“You are a pervert, Thomas Hiddleston.”
“Guilty, use my guest shower.” He instructed, throwing on his boxers when he got them off the other sofa.
Danielle seized the opportunity to grab the blanket. “Sure, I’ll be down soon.” She promised, collecting her clothes, looking at them oddly as she did.
“Are you worried about everyone seeing you wearing the same clothes?”
“No, just not looking forward to putting on yesterday’s underwear again.”
“Go commando.”
“That doesn’t go too well for women.”
“Seriously?”
“Well not ones that had someone…” she made an odd face. “in them.”
“Speaking of which, do you…?”
“I had bloods done after leaving the paramedics and I’ve had the bar for almost three years.”
“Well, I knew you’d be clean, I just wanted to know if you’d need a trip to Lloyds or Boots before work.”
“I’m good.”
“Good.” Tom scratched his head.
“I better go get showered.”
“Towels are in the storage closet in the hallway.”
“Thanks.” She ran off to get ready.
Tom went into the kitchen and threw together what few bits he had grabbed from the shops on his way home from meeting Benedict. It was essentially breakfast bars and coffee, so he swore to stop at a shop on their way to the studios. A few minutes later, Danielle came back. “That was fast.”
“Well, you don’t have conditioner,” She shrugged, taking the coffee. “Starting me strong today.”
“I can make you tea if you’d like”
“No, you’re fine, I need this.” She inhaled deeply and sighed. “Yum.”
After a few minutes they rushed out the door, Danielle still not fed properly. There was a Tesco open not far from where the studios were, so Danielle grabbed some food inside, also grabbing clean socks and underwear while she was at it.
“Smart girl.” Tom commended as she jumped back into his Jaguar.
“Down there’s for dancing, remember” She smiled fondly.
“Yeah.” He pulled in outside the studios. “Elle?” she looked at him fearfully. “When is not too soon to see you again?” She was about to speak but he interrupted her. “I mean, I want to see you tonight, but I know that’s going too fast, I just…now that we…I don’t want to waste any more time.”
“How about a meal later, at my hotel?” she suggested. “I have a four am start tomorrow, but it means I’m actually off today at lunch since all the cast is demanding they have some rest.”
“How about I pick you up, and we get a late lunch slash early dinner, that way, you are tucked up in bed by eight to get at least some rest?”
“I’ll see you at one thirty so Mister Hiddleston, so long as that suits.” She grinned.
Tom leant over to her side of the car. “Well, Miss Hughes, until then.” He smiled, kissing her.
Slightly flushed, Danielle got out of the car and watched him reverse and pull off before turning around and walking to the studio security, showing her identification. “So the beautiful Irish girl has a suitor, I was getting worried.” The security guard commented.
“And why is that?” she asked curiously, loving the daily banter she usually had with that guard.
“Because Miss Hughes, if one such as you were to be left on the shelf, what hope is there for a grouchy fart like myself?”
“Do you know what my favourite thing about you is Josef?”
“What is that my dear?”
“Your ability to make even me smile.” She grinned before collecting her bag and walking off. “That is a talent in itself.”
“I would have thought so too, were it not for the way you looked at him.” Daniele stopped walking and turned to look at him. “I see a happy future for you both, you know how I know?” Danielle shook her head. “Because my babushka, my grandmother, she told me as a boy, that only when a man and woman truly love one another, they look equal parts elated and heartbroken, when any goodbye happens, no matter how short. Their sadness in the goodbye, but their elation in merely getting to kiss their loved one again.”
“And they say the Russians don’t know romance.” She smiled, her face slightly reddened.
“Only the American’s say that, but let us face it, what do they know of love? They divorce if their partner snores.”
“That’s true, have a nice day Josef.”
“You too, Ms Hughes.”
“Well, you look like you had a good night.” Danielle turned to see Luke Evans beside her.
“I don’t…”
“Nothing says got fucked each way to next Saturday like turning up to work in your crumpled clothes from yesterday and stinking of…” he sniffed her for a moment. “Men’s shampoo and body gel, you and Hiddles have some fun last night?”
“How?”
“I worked with Tom on High Rise, I went to premières with him, I know his products, and today, you reek of them.” He stated factually.
Danielle went puce as the actor walked off chuckling to himself.
*
Tom – Hey, I need to speak with you, are you at home?
Benedict – It is five to seven in the morning, why are you up?
Tom – Why are you up?
Benedict – I have a toddler, what’s your excuse?
Tom – I want to tell you in person.
Benedict – How far away are you?
Tom – Half an hour.
Benedict – I’ll have the kettle boiled.
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Infinity
Summary: QUEEN AU where Roger (akaRow) is a teen single dad and aspiring rock star
Warnings: fluff fluff fluff and some cursing.
Words: 2090
I changed the names Cause I feel more comfortable writing it that way (idk why) but I could re-change them if that'd help you getting more into the story.
Rowan Queen: (tho you can imagine Ben as well. This is my take)
Chapter 1: I'm here
Written from his mother's POV, which gives us some insight on the family background and history as the first day of the rest of their lives unravels.
Gina Marie Queen (neé Thomas) had always been ahead of her time. She was never a fearful woman. Not for men anyway. She hadn't had a father -that alcoholic piece of shit was nothing close to that.-
And for all she knew, she hadn't had a husband either -another waste of space-. She had finally kicked him out hers and her son's life after 10 years of hell when that drunk asshole's rehearsal fits had made her lose the daughter she had been longing for since she could remember.
He could throw plates at her, and she'd fight back burning his beloved match tapes. Or intoxicate his food. Those were her favorite paybacks.
He could verbally abuse their son, and wake up with pink hair the next day. (Rowan's idea when he was 10)
But the night he had pushed her and she had broken waters at month number 5, that was it.
It should have ended earlier, she knew. Her unborn daughter shouldn't have had to suffer the consequences for Gina to finally throw his shit out the window and soak them in the Jack Daniels bottle he hid under his side of the bed and light them with the lighter he'd switch his bloody cigars.
But unfortunately that's what it had taken.
And she would have strangled him in his sleep if she had known Rowan would be taken care of while in jail. But she wasn't. And someone had to think of the rebellious trouble maker too.
And when her son -yes, she decided that rebellious trouble maker was, more or less, worthy of the title despite being the spitting image of the his father- became a father, Gina feared her granddaughter would have the same fate. Row had it in his genes and , as much she had tried to raise him as best as she was capable of, that fear never faded.
So when the phone rang
"Rowan Queen?"
""I'm his mother"
"I'm from the Hospital's maternity aisle. We call to inform you that his daughter's mom has disappeared after giving birth..."
That was all she needed to hear before dropping the phone and leaving it hanging upside down
"ROWAN EUGENE QUEEN! GET YOUR FUCKING ASS HERE THIS INSTANT!"
"I've got rehearsals with the band..."
"YOU GOT SOMEONE PREGNANT, YOU IDIOT??!"
"Me? No!"
"WELL THINK AGAIN!"
"Mum..."
"Just got a call from hospital saying your daughter's mother has disappeared after birth!!! And they called us!"
He was high school's infamous Playboy. Blonde, Blue Big eyes, and a charming smile. And on top of that, one of the four members of a wannabe rock band. The Hot Drummer, they call him .Gina knew. She didn't need to hear about his reputation to know the likelihood of him getting someone pregnant was high. But she had pictured it differently.
She grabbed him by the wrist and pulled, but he didn't move. He kept staring at nowhere.
"Rowan!!!"
No reaction.
She had to slap his cheek in order to get him out his shock
"What do you want?!"
"We're going to hospital, right now"
"What? Why?"
"To work this shit out!!"
"But we have to rehearse"
"Fuck that shit Rowan! They've just told us you got someone pregnant and she run off! That's the most important thing right now so get in that this instance!!"
He did as told. It was a tense car ride. And Gina remembered Elsa. Her baby girl. And how for her father's fault she wasn't there.
"So what now?" Row asked
"We're putting her up for adoption, unless they can contact the mother, although I don't think she should have a say. But if you're the so called father and your name is in the file, we can leave your part signed and then go home."
"Oh"
Gina thought she caught a hint of disappointment in his voice.
It had to be her imagination. Disappointment over what? Missing the wonderful experience of being a teen dad? Ha.
He did look thoughtful. He hadn't even turned on the radio.
Something was off.
But she figured he'd just want to get this whole thing over with, and that he'd sign her over to a better family. As anyone with minimum common sense would
Right?
Then, as they waited for the application, he asked if he could see her.
Her answer was immediate "No"
"Why?"
"How come Why? Why on Earth would you want to see her?"
"Well I'm here. You've been freaking out , and freaking me out as well. Might as well see who this fuss is about"
"A baby. That's it. You don't need to see one. They all look the same. Small, Wrinkly, like a large prune. There you have it"
"Well I wanna see my... That small wrinkled prune"
Damn. He had said <<mine>>. He already considered her his.
Gina changed her strategy.
"Your name is on the certificate, right. But that means nothing"
"Why would it be there otherwise?""
"A mistake. Or maybe the mother just wants to tangle you up."
"The mother's gone"
"Yes. For now. It's called Baby Blues, and when it's gone She'll have you exactly where she wants to. Because I'm guessing she won't be no straight A student either, and you'll have to sustain them both -if you ever make it to college- and you'll end up getting married, and maybe you don't even love her, but divorce is even more tedious than getting married. That's why I've Never done it. So you'll both be stuck as cashiers in whatever low cost store, and then she'll confess that you were her high school crush but that the kid is actually her ex boyfriend's and then you'll throw a fit, and you'll get in a fight and you'll end up grabbing whatever is on your reach to hit whoever's on your reach...."
"Wait mom. I just... I just wanna see her." Row cut her off " Whoever the fuck she may actually be, I'm the one who's here. And I ain't signing anything without knowing who I'm making decisions for. That's all. I just want to see. I don't even want to touch her or whatever. Just knowing who's the reason I had to turn the boys down today. Then I'll sign the paper and we'll go home."
"She's in the NICU anyway. Doubt they'll let you in"
"What's NICU?" Gina caught genuine concern in his voice.
"Nothing bad." She reassured.
They handed the files, and she took them "I'll fill them"
She got through the first page, and he was gone.
Shit. That stubborn bastard.
She didn't want him to be a father. He was 19 for fucks shake. Had never had one of his own. He had only moved out a couple months ago. Nothing lasted much for him. Wether it was a girlfriend, a job, clothes... His longest pet had reached one year alive. And he couldn't go long without getting injured
Not even his drum kit had survived the move, and was litterally patched up. She'd consider herself guilty of murder if she allowed a baby to be on that list. Not to mention the alternative was that she'd be the one, sooner or later, to take over. Because he was never patient and would stress too much -if he didn't lose interest first- or get fed up and cause her shaken Baby syndrome. And just as she was too young to be a grandmother, she was too old to raise a second kid.
So she stormed inside the NICU aisle ready to get him out of there. And what she saw was quite breathtaking. The look in his eyes was priceless: such fondness and marvel... Only comparable to when he had first seen that red Ludwig drum set through the glass of the local music store.
"I've never seen something so awesome in my life!" He had said.
They had never been able to afford it. He had tried to get a job after school, to save up everything. But it hadn't been enough. And he'd go everyday to that street, and just stare at the shiny wonderful kit for hours, hands on the glass, knowing that the likelihood of ever owning it was almost non existent.
He ended up making acquaintance with the owner. They tried to bargain for it, but his lowest price was way too high for them. He did get to play it once tho, and it was an undescribable experience. Murray, the owner, let him give it a try out of pity when someone else bought it, as a farewell. And had never seen anything like it again.
Now this baby was, technically, his -regardless of what biology could say- and he was about to give it away.
Gina did know on first hand it was, having been a volunteer on midwife assistance with her aunt. And 10/10 woman who swore to never want anything to do with their child changed their minds as soon as they laid eyes on them. Only those who really followed through -take it away, I don't wanna see it- walked out there with empty arms.
Now Row was looking at that baby ad if she was a treasure, but that meant nothing in the long term. His father had done something similar to Elsa's sonogram.
Her poor little girl. So young.
So helpless. She had been so naive thinking he would ever change.
But she wasn't gonna make that mistake again. She loved her son, but he really wasn't good at anger management.
She couldn't expose another innocent child to such danger.
"Rowan, come here now. You've seen her. Got what you wanted. Met her. Now let's get this over with"
His hand was resting on the top of the incubators glass, even if he had unglued his eyes from the tiny being inside and nailed on her now, as if he had been staring at the sun for a long while and was now blinded.
"Why the hurry?"
Was she hearing correctly?
"How come Why the hurry? Because we both have things to do"
"I've already cancelled the one plan I had..."
"Well I still have an errand to get done."
He didn't reply, eyes back on the child
"Rowan" she approached him, making sure not to look at the kid. "Rowan Eugene Queen, look at me when I'm talking to you" she ordered in a strict tone
"What?"
"Papers. Signature. Now"
"I'm thinking about it"
"Thinking about...?! Thinking about what? What's there to think? Sign these and we'll go home, and we'll never have to look back at this! Nobody has to know."
"And what about the raisin?"
"The what?"
"Her. What about her?"
"She'll be fine. Adopting couples love newborns. She'll go to a fit, nice marriage and will be very happy. And we'll resume our lives"
"And I'll never see her again?"
"Why do you care?"
He just shrugged and turned his attention back to her. Gina watched him watch her. Goddamn. She was losing him.
"Are you the father?" A nurse asked, walking towards.
*Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it*
Gina prayed.
"I suppose I am" He said it so naturally, with such a bright genuine smile that Gina almost forgot how critical those words were.
"Well, I'm Callie, and I'm on charge tonight. Congratulations, Mr... Oh, Queen." Her eyes widened When reading the tag on the incubator. "We're glad at least someone's here"
"Yea, well..." He scratched the back of his head nervously
"Don't worry. Her mom will get over it." She turned to Gina "You must be Gran..."
"No I'm not" Gina snapped harshly before she could finish the sentence "We were leaving"
"We were not"
"Rowan, I will not repeat it. Sign those bloody papers and get your ass back in the car"
"What if I don't want to?"
"This is serious! There's no other way!"
"Yes there is!"
"You can't be serious!" What 19 year old would ever choose this?
"Well I am"
"You don't even know what serious means! You have no sense of responsibility! You've never finished anything you've ever started!"
"Maybe I want to change! Maybe I can grow up if you stop pestering the shit outta me day In day out! This is not your decision!"
"I'm not letting you do this Row!"
"Then go! Leave me the fuck alone and stop getting in my way!"
Before Gina could answer, a small cry came from the incubator.
And she found herself walking backwards.
It was right she couldn't stop him but she wasn't gonna take part on it.
So she turned around and left, as the nurse explained Row how to hold his newborn daughter.
"You're not gonna break her, I promise. You'll do fine. Because you're here. Just because you're here I know you're gonna be a great dad. You already are" Callie said, putting his trembling arms on the correct position before lifting the small white bundle out the incubator.
They usually didn't do it unless it was necessary for a feed or a change, but she thought this was even more important: they had to meet each other properly: The little one needed to hold on to someone after being abandoned. And there was something in the young boy's eyes that told her he needed just the same.
So with a reassuring smile Callie placed her on Rowan's arms, who brought her closer to his chest by instinct, a small smile already on his lips as he took in her features.
She was gorgeous. And he didn't know why, but he found her to be the most perfect thing he had ever seen. He instantly knew he was gonna protect that wrinkled prune at all costs.
"Hey there, lil'raisin. I'm..." He swallowed the lump in his throat "I'm your Dad and... I'm here now."
🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶
Hope you guys liked it
It's my first fic on Tumblr so I still don't have the formatting completely handled and my phone won't let me select all the paragraphs at once to put it all in regular font.
Let me know what you think. Thank you all!!😍😍😍😍
~Pookie
#bohemian rhapsody#queen band#roger taylor#roger taylor baby#roger taylor daughter#single dad! roger taylor#ben hardy! roger taylor#fluff#queen fic#queen family#queen#queen fanfiction#queen fandom#queen fluff#fathers and daughters#Rowan Queen#Infinity fic#music#infinity fic
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secret santa ~ jonah marais
requested: yes
HI darling I know your busy and it's no rush but I really love your writing and I thought this would be cute for the holidays. You can do any of the boys but I was thinking Jonah. If you could write about the reader being friends with the boys and doing a secret Santa. The the boy she likes (he likes her back but she doesn't know) gets her and knows exactly what to get her, like something she really wanted and then they talk and get together after they exchange gifts, sorry that's confusing Ily❤
summary: when getting the guy she’s in love with for secret santa, y/n struggles to find an idea for a gift. skip to secret santa and this guy has gotten her the present that she wanted most.
warning(s): cursing (maybe)
word count: 2044
author’s note: thank you you’re so sweet! i love this idea and enjoyed working on it. hope you love it:)) also i was very far in before i realized that this was that he gets her and not they get each other, so i hope it’s not too cliche that they both got each other (does that count as a spoiler?)
My fingertips trailed over the small piece of paper that was folded oh so neatly as i watched the other boys run around the room, trying to hide who they’d gotten from each other. A smile appeared on my face as i looked towards my personal favorite (although i’d never admit that aloud) stood calmly in the corner of the room, opening his little slip with a smile. The other boys were loud and chased each other, trying to sneak a peak at each other’s paper in attempt to figure out what each person had them. Jonah however, just stood there quietly, content with who he’d gotten and i could practically see that he was thinking about the things he’d get for whoever his person was.
As I got into a safe place, I took a seat at the table, opening the little piece of paper. My heart skipped a beat when i read the sloppily, but neater than most, writing that said jonah. I tried my best to keep a poker face, sure that someone would catch on after i’d given him the present if i smiled widely. jack came up behind me and started to say something before i covered his mouth and quickly threatened into his ear, “say something and i swear to god you won’t live long enough to get a damn present”
jonah laughed at my words as i blushed, “this is why we keep you around, y/n”
i bit hard on the inside of my lip, smiling at the boy sheepishly as i removed my hand from jack’s mouth and the curly haired boy stared at me with a look of fear. throughout this past year, i’d grown very fond of these boys. after meeting jonah through a small accident where he’d accidentally spilled coffee on my shirt, he’d introduced me to these boys. we’d all grown close to each other due to my ability to bond to each of them in different ways.
with jack, i had a similar sense of humor. we could spend hours together and be laughing the entire time. zach and i bonded purely over the fact that we both god red very easily. he always had rosy cheeks and jonah took quick notice to my constant blushing. this led for many jokes to be targeted towards us and we took comfort in the fact that we were together in that. corbyn and i were very close in a sibling relationship. he’d look after me and i’d look after him. very protective, he was, but always in the best way. daniel liked to play guitar for me when i would sing with him. it was rare that i’d sing, since i never felt like i had the ability to go places with my voice, but danny brought me out of my shell and would play and sing with me ever since the beginning.
and then there was jonah. he and i bonded over our shared love for coffee and coffee shops. we’d very easily gotten along and he was the sweetest thing in the entire world. even if he’d always just been my best friend, he treated me like a queen and put me before him. we could always be together and never get sick of each other.
despite my very high quality relationships with these boys, it was honestly an amazing surprise to be included in a secret santa with them. i’d suggested it jokingly weeks before, but today i showed up and jonah was very prepared to do it with my suggestion.
now i’m stuck getting a kick ass gift for the boy i was in love with, without making it seem like i was in love with him.
I pounded my fists on the door of the house, getting over the nerves that had traveled through my body all week. It was too late to regret the present i’d finally decided on and at the end of the day, jonah either likes it or he doesn’t. And there was no way for me to truly know how he felt about it.
A smiley Corbyn opened the door and i walked in to find a bunch of bags lined up on the table. They were all pretty large so it was almost difficult to fit my equally large one up there. Jack was sitting on the couch, eating some cereal when i walked into the living room. Zach was scrolling through something on his phone and Jonah was sipping his damn coffee mug. I found some comfort in that, for an odd reason.
“y/n’s here!!!” Zach yelled loudly, making me wince with the extremities of the noises coming from most of the boys as i hugged them. I sat down in between Daniel and Jonah, resting my head on Daniel’s shoulder tiredly.
“y/n the day has just begun. you cannot possibly be tired yet” danny informed me and i let out a muffled chuckle.
i disagreed, “i’m exhausted”
Jonah motioned for me to take a sip of his coffee as i stared at him, “here have some. it’ll wake you up”
i playfully rolled my eyes, taking a sip of the beautifully blended coffee and handing the mug back to him, “thanks”
“want me to get you some?” he asks, “there’s a little left i think”
“no, it’s fine. thank you though” i smiled a little bit.
corbyn walked into the room a few moments later, all the bags basically covering him as he passed them out to each deserving person. we hadn’t any idea who’d gotten us yet.
before opening my own present, i watched jonah open his. it wasn’t one specific thing that i’d gotten him. it was an assortment of things that connected the two of us: coffee. i bought him several different kinds that i previously knew he loved, as well as two new mugs that were cute and funny, and then a fifty dollar starbucks giftcard. it was a little over the price limit, but that didn’t matter to me. it was the fact that he would like it, maybe, and that it had to do with the way we’d met originally.
i watched as jonah’s eyes lit up, his hands lifting each gift out of the bag and i giggled as he took the items, looking around the room for the giver, “holy shit. who had me?”
a smile appeared on my face as i raised my hand a little bit and he slid over, wrapping his arms around my body sloppily.
“god, you know me so well y/n” he told me which made my heart flutter. i looked at him with a smile and then he looked at me as if to tell me to look down at my bag and see what was inside.
i reached into the bag, pulling out two things. my eyes blinked several times, trying to determine if this moment was real or not. my fingers traced over the lettering on the back of the jersey and i couldn’t even think in that moment. had one of these boys spent their own money on a new york rangers jersey, specifically a jimmy vesey jersey? had they really known me well enough to see that even though i’d never ask for it, that i’d wanted a jersey for the boy i’d been fond of since his rookie season last year? and on top of that, there was an adorable pair of fuzzy slippers on the bottom of the bag.
“who the fuck got me a jersey?” i room was filled with voices as everyone tried to determine who’d gotten them what they wanted.
“do you like it?” i heard the nervousness in Jonah’s voice as i turned breathlessly to face him.
i couldn’t even do anything but tackle him, pulling his body close to mine, “how the hell did you know?”
jonah laughed a little bit after i’d whispered that into his ear and he spoke as we separated, “i know how much you love him. it just seemed like something you’d like”
“jonah, these jerseys are way over the budget” i told him, “these are fucking expensive”
“well i don’t mind spending a little extra on you, y/n” he smiled a little bit as i shook my head in disbelief. had this boy really spend nearly $200 on a jersey for me?
“you are the absolute best” i hugged him again and he chuckled.
“i mean, you got me like a million freaking things”Jonah smiled, looking at me.
“yeah but they were small things” i defended.
“still good things though” he reminded, “and it refers to our relationship”
“built primarily on coffee” we chime at the same time, letting laughs leave our mouths.
My entire body was filled with exhaustion as I grabbed my bag from the table in the dining room, ready to leave the house after a long day. It was a nice day, without a doubt, but tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I have many gifts to wrap still which means that I need some time.
“don’t go yet,” Jack’s voice rang through the house as I fed him a smile.
I couldn’t help but playfully roll my eyes, “i’ll see you guys tomorrow”
“why don’t you ever just stay here?” Daniel asks, “you literally go home to come back here in like eight hours”
I giggle, “well then i’d have to find somewhere to wrap your presents”
“have fun at home!” Zach’s voice was full of excitement as he realized what was in it for him with me going home, “see you tomorrow”
“see you guys tomorrow” I waved and as I turned around I felt a hand on the small of my back, guiding me.
“i’ll walk you out”
i smiled up at Jonah and opened the door, letting him follow me out until we’d reached my car that sat in the top of the driveway, shining under the outdoor lights that Jonah had installed primarily since it was always dark when I left.
“thank you again for the present,” i smiled at Jonah, turning so that i was facing him before i even opened the door to my car.
“it’s no problem, seriously,” He told me, “i’m glad it as something that you liked”
I nodded my head, “it feels good knowing that someone can know me well enough to get me something that i didn’t even ask for and nail it. i don’t know if that makes sense”
i blushed but jonah chuckled, understanding, “it does,” he looked at me and after a moment of silence, “hey, before you go i’ve got a question”
“shoot,” i fluttered my eyelashes up at him.
he took in a deep and unsteady breath, “i guess, it’s harder to plan than to actually say it,” i laughed with him a little bit as he tried again, “what i’m trying to say, i guess, is that i’ve liked you for a while now and i kept shying away from telling you”
i couldn’t stop my mind from racing with happiness as i gave him a sly smirk, “and the question is?”
“can we do something about it?” he came up with, understanding in that moment that he hadn’t need any fear about what this would end as. It may not have been clear before, but Jonah was someone that I really, really liked and i’d do everything to be with him.
I stood on my toes, grabbing his face with my two hands, placing a sweet kiss on his soft lips. His arms snaked around my waist, supporting my back as I reached towards his very tall body. Before we released, i couldn’t help but smile. I stared at him with love visible in my eyes, “let’s”
“i’d like to take you out on a date,” Jonah informs me.
I gave him another blush and a smile, “i’d like to take you up on that request”
he let out a quiet laugh at my mocking response, kissing my lips one final time before allowing me to get into my car and wave. I backed out of the driveway with a smile on my face, very excited about seeing him again tomorrow.
#jonah marais#jack avery#daniel seavey#corbyn besson#zach herron#jonah marais imagine#why don't we#wdw#imagines#imagine#fanfic#secret santa#new relationship
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Hesitant Beginnings
The second chapter of my merman Arin AU inspired by @writergrump!
There are few words to describe how time moved for Dan in that moment. He was acutely aware of the look of panic and fear in the merman’s eyes. He felt the tension and unease heavy on the shoulders of Brian and Suzy. He took in the cold look of assessment in Dean Terry’s eyes before he had the clarity of mind to think, why exactly is Dean Terry here anyway? Suzy must have sensed his confusion because she offered an answer without prompting.
“He came up just after you went down. Said he wanted to check on his ‘star pupils’ as they prepared to ‘change the world’.” Something in Suzy’s voice burned, the tone hinted that she didn’t quite believe that reasoning. “When… he, brought you up,” Suzy gestured to the merman. “the Dean had one of his lackeys net him. He didn’t even check on you, he hasn’t even checked on you. He’s just been staring at that poor guy for fifteen minutes now.”
Having felt their staring Dean Terry finally turned to the three scientists standing a few feet away from him.
“Ahh, Daniel. You’re okay?” Dean Terry slowly approached them, walking in a sideways type of manner that ensured the strange creature stayed in his vision. “What good… luck, we are having. You evade death again, and we find this-” the dean waves his hand dismissively toward the merman, “thing.”
In that moment Dan wonders how he never realized this about the dean. Never saw the way his eyes, a warm shade of brown, looked cold and unforgiving. The way his voice never revealed any emotion. Dan hadn’t noticed until right now how terrifying this man really was.
“That – thing-“ Dan spat, the words burnt his tongue, it felt like dirt in his mouth “saved my life. Why are you removing him from his home?”
A quiet exchange happened in that moment. Suzy and Brian looked on in shock as Dan stood, brushing some of the dirt off his wet suit. At 6’2” Dan was nearly 4 inches taller than the Dean and he used it to his advantage at the moment. The Dean’s eyes were hard, a fire burned inside of them for a moment.
“I’m sorry Daniel.” The Dean uttered coolly. “I thought our goal was the further development of science? To work in discovering the unknown? To reveal the secrets of the sea. Well, we have a huge secret less than five feet away and I have a team coming to get him.”
Rage burned in Dan’s heart he was conflicted. His life had been saved, the concussion he surely received in the sub mixed with the depth he was at means there is no way he would have gotten out without the merman’s help. He was a scientist after all, his goal was knowledge, learning. But, how could he learn at the expense of another creatures forced imprisonment?
“And what if we disagree?” The voice that spoke wasn’t Dan’s, it was Brian’s. “What happens if we disagree with what you’re saying?” Brian’s voice was quiet, a tone Dan only heard him use once before. On the wealthy mother of a wealthy kid who hadn’t attended a single lecture all semester and was blaming Brian for her kid failing the class. This was Brian’s ‘I don’t fuck around’ voice.
“Then, instead of giving this assignment to your team, who I think deserves it most, I will have to find another team to run the tests and figures I want done.”
“What happens when you’re done? What will you do with him then?” Suzy’s voice was different, the men had their hackles up, a test of will power occurring between them. All ready to stand tall for their values and beliefs. Suzy’s voice was nurturing still, an ever present analytical tone could be heard as she weighed the options in front of them.
“When we are done, we will return him.”
“He won’t be hurt?”
“He won’t’ be hurt at all. All tests will be as unobtrusive as possible.”
“We’ll do it.” Brian and Suzy spoke in harmony.
Dan’s head was reeling, maybe he stood too fast. Maybe too much was happening too soon.
“Wait. We-we’ll what?” Dan’s head began spinning as he tried to assimilate the information. Taking in the way Brian and Suzy came up to flank him, each putting a tentative hand on his shoulders, the quick look of surprise that flitted across Dean Terry’s face.
“Right, yes. Good then. The team will be here within five minutes. Go home for the day, you will still be paid. Come into the lab tomorrow, until then I will take care of this.” The dean turned and began walking back toward the still struggling merman, the sounds of the man’s distress sent shivers down Dan’s spine.
“And Daniel, visit a doctor. I believe you hit your head.”
In his 25 years of life Dan wasn’t sure he had felt dread like he did today. He stood outside of the lab, stomach full of butterflies grounding himself for the second time in so many days.
“Five things you can see Danny, five things.” Dan took a deep breath in. “I can see the door to the lab, duh. I can see the files I grabbed this morning, the tea in my hand, the cheap linoleum reflecting this harsh light. And finally I can see this isn’t going to work and I need to man the fuck up.
I can touch, the tea that’s literally burning my hand. The f-“
“Danny?” The voice behind him was soft, soothing, Suzy’s. “Are you okay?”
“Y-yeah Scuze. I just..” Dan trailed off. Not wanting to give life to the fears he hadn’t yet acknowledged for himself.
“Yeah,” Suzy agreed. “I’m nervous too.”
“We have to go in eventually.” Brian’s voice materialized out of thin air. Actually causing Dan to jump, the man moved like a ninja.
Suzy offered a small nod and hum of agreement.
Brian entered the lab first, making a beeline for his office. Not taking a moment to look around at how things would now look, given the change in.. direction of their research.
“Well, I guess.. we follow.” Dan muttered. He and Suzy entered the lab, she uttered a slight gasp.
The lab was large, a fact Dan was thankful for as he took in the large tank now positioned directly in front of the door, in the middle of the room. The tank was huge, at least 20,000 gallons of water filled it, Dan estimated it was nearly fifteen feet wide and just as tall. A platform was built around the tank, Dan guessed this was for himself and the others to easily observe the merman. Dan and Suzy’s desks had been moved to either side of the tank and the rest of their lab materials had been moved to various areas around the room. Thankfully this wouldn’t involve much of it, but Dan was still upset at the movement of his things. Suzy and Dan chanced a glance to their left, where Brian’s individual office was located, the man was furiously typing on his computer. His mouth a thin line, eyes as cold as they had ever been and his posture giving life to his discomfort.
“Get to work please.” Was all Brian had to say before Danny and Suzy were scuttling to their desks.
The rest of the day was spent analyzing the tank, making sure it was as close in habitat as possible to the area the man had been taken from. The dean had done pretty good in the small amount of time he had been given but he didn’t check all the boxes. During the day Dan had Brian order a better filtration system. Suzy checked and rechecked the salinity of the water as it wasn’t quite stable yet.
The day was quiet, Brian barely leaving his office. When he did his posture and eye contact all worked around the large tank in the room. To Dan it seemed the man thought if he didn’t see it then it didn’t exist.
Throughout the day Suzy and Dan took turns trying to get the merman to appear. He didn’t come up at all during the day. Not to try to communicate with them or ask for food or anything. Guesses had been made as to what he should be fed. In the end they decided to offer a variety of foods that he might like, better safe than sorry. Various fish and marine plants were gently added to the water, though the merman never came to the surface to eat anything.
Nevertheless, the day came to an end. Brian left the facility about an hour early, head down and mood foul as he silently left. Suzy had gotten tired of trying to cajole the merman to come talk to them and left about thirty minutes after Brian left. Muttering something about how the poor thing was probably terribly homesick and she couldn’t harass him any longer. She was going to have dinner with Holly and Barry.
That left Dan, and Dan promised he wouldn’t leave until he felt as sure as possible that the merman was comfortable. Which is how he ended up still in the lab at about eight in the evening. Still messing with temperature and salinity settings. The whirring of the water filter, the buzz of the lights and the consistent step of the security guards provided a subtle background noise that comforted Dan. Still, he began to sing.
“Sometimes days pass and this emptiness fills my heart when I want to run away I drive off in my car but whichever way I go I come back to the place you are.” Dan’s voice carried through the lab, the acoustics better than he had imagined, a reason for him choosing to remain in this lab when the dean offered a larger, newer one on the other side of campus. His hips moved side to side slightly as he began checking the pH of the samples Suzy had pulled during the day and checking them against the ones he had grabbed.
“All my instincts, they return and the grand facade, so soon will burn without a noise, without my pride I reach out from the inside.”
“What are you doing?” The voice, soft and curious, caused Dan to jump making him drop the test tube of water he had been holding.
“Holy fuck!” Dan yelled out of fear, no matter how much of an adult he was, he was still easily scared.
He turned around to see the merman treading (would it be treading if he had a fin? Dan decided to consider this more later) the surface of the water, arms crossed over the top of the platform, head resting atop them.
“I’m- singing.” Dan said, inching slowly closer to the tank.
“What’s.. singing?” the man questioned, voice still soft. Dan stopped for a moment, considering why the man wouldn’t know what singing is.
“It’s like speaking, like you and I are doing right now. But, special. You kind of let your voice flow.”
“Oh.” Dan thought the conversation was over, though he wasn’t going to make it close enough to the merman to get a really good look.
“I think your singing is very special. I like it. Who were you singing for?”
“Uh, well. Since it’s only you and I here that’s who I was singing for. I was singing for you and I.”
The merman’s face changed from light curiosity to happiness for a moment, before sadness.
“You saved me.” Dan stated, finally having covered the distance to the platform, he began ascending the stairs.
“You were too deep. The thing you were in. It broke? I’m not sure. But I saw you floating and you weren’t even trying to swim and I wanted to help.”
“I’m so sorry.” Dan stated, as he finally reached the platform. “You shouldn’t be here right now.”
“You’re right. I shouldn’t.” The merman said. They fell into a silence.
Dan took a moment to really look at the merman, he was beautiful. Sincerely stunning. His features were delicate not quite feminine and not quite masculine, somewhere gloriously in-between. He had a bright pink streak going through his hair, almost identical to the location of Suzy’s, Dan would have to tell her that. Delicate pink scales dotted along his face, in what Dan thought Suzy would describe as a contour, leading up to his gills. Just behind his gills two small fins protruded where ears would have been.
“I’m sorry, I wish… I wish I could do something.” Dan said, regret tinging his voice. “I wasn’t worth it. I’m not worth your freedom. I’m not even sure how long you will be here, I don’t know how much time the Dean will make us keep you. I just know, he promised us he will let you go.”
They sat in silence a little longer. Words didn’t seem to do the situation justice, Dan felt guilt run through his veins as they sat in silence. The sound of the merman’s tail moving through the water created a lapping noise. The buzz of the lights and the noise of the filter lulled Dan, the lack of sleep and the left-over dizziness from the concussion made him bold.
“Do you have a name?”
“Arayinphyra.”
“Arayinphyra?” Dan stuttered out, having a hard time wrapping his tongue around the sounds and syllables. The name was exquisite, but it didn’t sound as musical on Dan’s tongue as it did rolling off the merman’s lips.
“You can call me Arin.” The merman stated, a musical laugh bubbling out of him in spite of the situation. “That’s what my parents and brother call me.”
“Well, Arin. My name is Leigh, but you can call me Dan. That’s what my friends and family call me.”
The merman smiled at Dan, it was tentative but still sad.
“Do your best to get me home soon, Dan. I miss my family.” Arin stated, before swimming back down into the depths of his tank. Leaving Dan alone on the platform full of sadness and regret.
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15.
Pulling the latex gloves off from my hands, placing them in the medical bin and walking out of the double doors, it’s hard this job. When there is nothing you can do, when you can’t save someone, hearing people cry. This morning has been nothing but shocking, I am just so tired too “Turner, can you just check on fourteen. Let them know we are awaiting the scan results” my manager said, this is what I mean. Through them doors was a woman that just died and then that is it, I just have to move on, move on to the next case. Life goes on I guess, seeing Daniel pushing an older gentleman in a wheelchair. Glancing over at him as so did he, turning my head away. I have asked to move but they said baby unit, I am not about that. I will stay here for a while, pulling back the curtain “hello, I’m Rylee. I am guessing you broke your leg?” looking at the teenage boy, school uniform on. He has been crying, his mom doesn’t look happy “yeah” he shrugged saying “we are just getting your scan results, it won’t be long. Is there anything you want from me?” he shook his head “have I broke my leg though?” he asked, from the way his foot looks “I think you have, we just need to confirm. It will fix, hopefully you will be back to doing your thing” he is really upset, I feel for him and I am sick of giving bad news to people, I need something different.
Imagine me delivering babies, that would be hilarious. I would be screaming with them, scanning my pass to enter the locker room “you had a fancy weekend didn’t you?” one of the colleagues said “I guess you saw” I am not stopping to speak “the whole world did, you go girl. Quit this job too” waving her off, I am not about to quit anything because I worked so hard for this. I can never say I am bored, something is always happening. Unlocking my locker and pulling it open, it does upset me. I remember how Bailey and I would hide here, how we would just come here to not do work. We were close, I don’t get it and I don’t get why she would do that to me. Looking down at my phone, my phone has never been the same since Paris, I am getting messages from people I have not spoken too since forever. My cousin text me saying she hates me and can’t wait to see me but shit is not the same for me at all, people want to be my friend now “oh god” I said under my breath, two missed calls from Chris is never good, if I don’t call him back and he sees me on a app he will probably have a heart attack.
Pressing my phone to my ear as it rang out, I am still trying to get over Paris and I had to come back to work the next day “I was about to lose the will to live, you called” this what I mean by dramatic “really Chris?” I said “what are you doing awake Chris, you were awake when I went to work and you still are. Is this what you do when I said go home?” I question him about everything, I don’t care “can’t sleep, you threw me out. I had the boys over so I am awake, I am fine. I just miss you” I don’t like that he does this “so you didn’t sleep because of it, I said go home to finish off the jobs you was so worried about. You can come to the apartment whenever you know, did you do what I told you to do? Call her and tell her you want to see Royalty, you haven’t seen her properly” the phone went silent “can we have lunch together? I will pick you up, I want to see you” I only have an hour but I can’t say no “if I say no what will your reaction be?” hearing someone behind me open their locker, turning to see. It would be Daniel “you having lunch with him?” I expected that “come then, my lunch is at half one” it should be “we can talk then, I miss you so much Rylee. I know it’s been less than twenty-four hours” he is so damn clingy “it’s ok, see you baby. I love you” you think I care if Daniel is there “I love you too, be good” he telling me like I am bad.
Placing my phone back in my locker, I need to get myself a drink before my break is over “you want to go for a drink? Just in the cafeteria or your man don’t allow that?” Daniel said, he is such a pig “stay away from me please” walking around him “me? Why? You’re so serious about shit now, stop blowing me off. We been friends before him” I am so sick of him, stopping in my tracks “I am the one that is stopping Chris from punching your face, I don’t have friends anymore because they are just jealous fucks! If you was my friend then you would be happy for me, I get it. You like me, you wanted me but I never liked you. I always liked you as a friend, leave me alone because I will next time let him beat you up” I pointed at him “you think you something real special, I don’t even like you like that anymore. You let some pimp fuck you, you think I want that” I chuckled “but you’re still talking to me, you’re still trying with me” he shook his head “still got to kiss you though” he grinned “I was drunk, fuck you” walking away from him, I am done “trust me Rylee, I don’t want you!” he shouted, why do guys treat me like this, my own brother does “I got something for his ass too, Mr Chris Brown. You think it’s funny, just because I sent you a picture like that. He comes in my messages again on IG, I am coming for his ass” walking out of the locker room, his ego must be hurt but it gives him no right to do this every time to me.
I am just glad to have some lunch, to get away from this building. I am ok but when I see him, he keeps making remarks about that one simple shit that happened one time, it was one kiss. I was drunk, he can fuck off “you going out?” I stopped in my tracks seeing Marie, a colleague of mine “oh yeah” she got me in my daze “let’s walk out together, I heard you want to move” I wonder how she even knows “oh yeah, I do” we started walking slowly “why? I thought you loved it on this department” hearing my phone ping “you know I do, I just can’t be dealing with the bad vibes” unlocking my phone and seeing the text from Chris.
From: Chris
I am outside x
I will see him outside, no point texting back “I am guess it is to do with Bailey? Yeah, I have seen you alone now. It’s a shame, you were so close to them. I don’t want you to go, I love your vibe. I am guessing it is to do with you dating Chris Brown?” she looked over at me smiling “a little, jealously is a very ugly trait. People change” I shrugged “well move on, if you are happy then who are we to judge. I thought you looked very pretty, I was sat at home and I goes to my mom. I know her, she is my colleague, I work with her! You are lost in this place, you deserve to be out there” I smiled, for the very first time at work I smiled “oh stop it, thank you Marie” the double doors opened up as I reached the outside “it’s ok, we are both working the night shift. You must be excited” she rolled her eyes “I want to cry but what can I say, I wanted Friday off” I said, seeing Chris’ Lamborghini parked up, he is always on time “I would have done the same, see you later girl” she hit my arm lightly walking off, I am so fed up.
I don’t mean to get all emotional but every time I see Chris I just want to cry in his arms, let me suck it up as always. Pulling up his car door, slipping into Chris’ car. Placing my bag down on the floor of the car before pulling the heavy ass door down, reaching up to pull the door down but there I see him again. Like a stalker he is. Daniel stared at me as he lit his cigarette, I shuddered at the look he gave me “what are you doing?” Chris said, pulling the door down “nothing, your door is always so heavy to pull down” turning to look at Chris “hey baby, I missed you so much” I couldn’t help but smile at Chris, he is so cute “I missed you more” he leaned over kissing my lips “we only have like an hour right?” I nodded my head swallowing “what is wrong?” Chris reached over touching the side of my face, why does he know when there is a difference with me “I want to say nothing but then I am lying to you and I don’t want that” Chris placed his phone in his lap “talk to me?” I seem like a whiney bitch “like a while ago, I was drunk. This was before you and anything to do with you, I am speaking about I was newly friends with Daniel. We kissed but I was drunk, it was just a kiss. He threw to my face today and I am worried he’s going to start talking, he just spoke shit to me. Just like Blake, I don’t know why people think I am some hoe” I don’t even want to look at Chris’ face right now, he is probably angry “it’s not you, I am the person they don’t like. I am the hoe, they can’t say it to me so they are getting to you. Listen Rylee, I can see him here let me speak to him” looking up at Chris “he is disrespecting you in front of my face, I look stupid. I am calm, I swear I am. Let me just do it” staring at Chris’ face shaking my head “I can’t let you do this” Chris looked behind me “I can’t have you being upset, it’s because of me and that shit hurts. You were so happy before me, you lost your friends because of me” I was about to grab Chris’ arm before he pulled his door up to speak to him, why did I open my mouth but that is lying and I want us to work.
Lifting up the door, this is outside my place of work and I don’t need this even though Chris does not care and wants me to leave this place. Daniel is so smug and I don’t know why, why is he like this “went crying to your boyfriend then” I hate his car, it’s so low too “not really, I just hear you keep talking to my girl. I see you want some attention so I am giving it to you” Chris answered on my behalf, Daniel looked at me, he won’t even look Chris’ way at all “tell your man, I ain’t finna talk to him” standing next to Chris “didn’t you say you had something for his ass?” I said confused “why can’t you talk to me nigga?” Chris stepped in front of me “don’t look at her, look at me. Speak up” I pray to god they don’t fight, oh my god “she is too good for you” Daniel said “I know that, anything else?” moving my head to the side, Chris is in Daniel’ face and we need to go “you keep speaking to her, you keep talking shit to her. You think I won’t come to you, I will. I don’t care, I will knock your ass out because I don’t care. If I see my girl upset again, I am coming for you” placing my hand on Chris’ arm, I want to go “she gets herself upset” Daniel mumbled, why is he not talking shit now “sure, you a little bitch. A real bitch nigga, talking to a female about me but can’t speak it. I know y’all little network, you can tell Blake too. Upset Rylee again, I am coming for you all” tugging at his arm, Daniel is not a fighter at all.
Seeing Bailey walk out with a few girls, she gawked at me “Chris, let’s just go!” he can stop mean mugging him, they are both eyeballing each other “Chris!” I spat, Chris moved his head “let’s go” Chris turned around, letting his arm go. He didn’t fight so I am happy about that but did he really have to mention my brother, Chris is dying to speak to him anyways. Rushing back to the car, I do want to get out of here now. Pulling the car door down “I told you, just talking. I was good right?” I can’t be mad at him he was “thank you Chris, I don’t mean to be always upset. I am sorry” Chris furrowed his eyebrows “I understand, I get it. People feel like you can do better, you can. I am not the best guy ever” Chris slowly drove off “you are to me, I don’t care about the rest. You’re good to me, you have a heart of gold so don’t put yourself down” Chris stopped his car, looking ahead of us watching Bailey walk by “why did you stop? You could have run over them” Chris chuckled “and you tell me not to be all angry, you are mean too” only to that bitch, she can stare in envy all she wants.
I won’t even front, I missed Chris even though we saw each other yesterday “did you do anything then? Like work wise like you said? You know what, the bed was so comfy” I had to laugh, just because I am the worst person to sleep with “wait, what!? The very woman that throws the covers on the floor because she is warm and I am meanwhile cold? And then kicks me” Chris spat, raising an eyebrow “but you drooled on my stomach, nothing can top that” I pointed out “but it’s love right?” he said, reaching over and touching his face “it is baby, where we eating?” I am wondering where he is driving me too “erm, I was about to ask you? I will take you anywhere” moving my hand away from his face “hmmm, I want a burger. Maybe ShakeShack? We can sit in this car and eat?” I rather not go inside just because it will be a headache and I have my work uniform on” Chris turned a corner “hell no, I don’t even let Royalty sit in this car. We can just go inside” great, I look stupid in this uniform.
I am not happy at all, Chris locked his car door “why are you annoyed with me now?” Chris questioned, I shrugged walking ahead a little “I just didn’t want people seeing you and then me in this uniform, I look stupid” I yelped out feeling Chris grip my butt “you look sexy as hell, I don’t know why you complain” placing his arm around my shoulder as we walked “but can I come to the apartment now?” looking up at him “you was never banned from coming, I just thought you had stuff to do. You can come when you like, what happened to our apartment huh?” he has changed his tone with all that “because you kicked me out” shrugging his arm off me moving away “stop saying I did, I didn’t. You have a beautiful home, I have a one bedroom apartment. Why stay there?” I know where I would be “because we can hide there, it’s private too. You know Rylee, I just can’t be without you. I hate when you’re busy, I get very irritated” I cooed at him “stop it, stop being cute” opening the door to ShakeShack “I am paying, do not speak another word” I said quickly, he breathed out.
I wish I got cheese fries now, they look so good “I see you eyeing up my fries’ woman” Chris said as he pulled his food closer to him “I want them” I pointed “I want you” he retorted “I want your dick” placing a French fry in my mouth “oh god, don’t Rylee. I was gone” he placed his burger down “you sucked me dry, you swallowed like a queen. Shit, I am impressed. You’re a straight up freak and I love it” Chris talking about my dick sucking skills is funny “you keep getting Rylee points and there is more to come” I winked at him “how many points if I give you my cheese fries?” I paused thinking “that earns you just a kiss on the tip” Chris glared at me, I wonder what he is thinking “I take that, if you’re on your knees I am happy” shaking my head at him “keep it, I take it back” sitting back in the seat.
Sipping my drink “what does your burger taste like?” I questioned, I am intrigued “like a burger” he shrugged “let me taste, it’s chicken and looks nice” Chris pointed his finger up “chicken breast to be exact but the only breast I want is yours” he turns everything nasty, he held the burger out for me “why are you navigating how much I bite!? I am literally eating bread” Chris looked at where his hands were “because I don’t share my chicken” rolling my eyes “I am going to bite your fingers and I don’t care” leaning over the table, biting down on the burger which included his fingers. I froze staring at him, waiting for him to move his fingers “stop being greedy” he pulled back his burger out from my mouth and then ate it himself “wow, just wow. Don’t worry, next time I will be sure to spit your cum back on your dick” Chris busted out laughing “I am joking, here have some” putting my hand up at him, I don’t even want it now.
I get really sleepy eating this kind of thing “before you go to my apartment tonight, just to let you know. I will be working tonight too, I am working day and night” his face dropped “they can’t do that to you, Rylee. Are you joking with me?” shaking my head “they can and they have, it’s fine. I don’t mind working it” I don’t mind working it but Chris does “tell them no, what about me? You will be too tired for me, I won’t see you after this then?” I paused thinking “uhmmm, well when I get in from work I spend the day sleeping. You can see me, stop being dramatic. I would love to come home to you sleeping in bed so I can just cuddle up to you?” I am bribing him to sleep now “I will pick you up” he always wants to do this for me “I have my own car I need to drive home, I have told you what I want so try and make it happen” I prefer Chris to be normal and sleep, I care about him a lot.
Chris is not happy, he keeps on looking at his drink in sadness “so did you call Royalty’ mom?” this is the third time I seen those females walk by here, I know why “nope” dragging my eyes back to Chris “why? I want you to have a relationship with your daughter, I hate when you say she loves her mom more” why won’t he even listen to me “when you have Royalty is it you that has her? Are you alone with her?” he shook his head “my mom has her, I visit” blinking at Chris several times “so you visit still, so she sees you as a dad that just comes. She doesn’t come to your home at all?” I need to know how this set up is “she comes, sometimes. It is more at my mom’ home but she does stay sometimes” pulling a face “you need to have Royalty alone Chris, honestly. You will feel the bond there more, you will feel more like a father” Chris looked down at the table “nobody trusts me and I am done trying” he gives up so easily, sighing out “who cares? You’re her father, I am not going to question you on how you are as a father but I care, I care because it upsets you” Chris smiled at me “you amaze me Rylee, like you just make me fall in love with you more and more every day. Someone that cares for my relationship with my daughter as much as you do, thank you” waving Chris off “don’t say that, I love you and when I started to date you, I accepted your daughter and your flaws” I said.
Chris rubbed his face smiling “amazing, but I struggle. I don’t know, maybe you could meet her, that will help me” my eyes widened in shock “me!?” I spat, he nodded “I know you thinking it’s soon but I want you to meet my family anyways, I want Royalty to meet you. This could help me more, I don’t know” he lacks so much confidence in his relationship with his daughter, he doesn’t believe in himself “I am used to just walking in and seeing her and then leave, I don’t really do bed times and all that. I leave that to my mom” he shrugged “I don’t know, that is a big thing. This is your daughter, I mean I accept your daughter, I do. But what if she don’t like me?” Chris snorted laughing “then I will have to disown my own child, joking. She will love you because I do, my family will be around. If we say this weekend or something? Meet my mom? Once my mom has met you we can have Royalty on our own, maybe my mom will trust me” I am speechless, I honestly don’t know what to say “I am not going to deny this, I will meet your daughter. I hope she likes me though” why am I nervous about this.
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Life is a Game of Risks
Summary - Tom walks into a cafe near RADA while working on Hamlet to see a woman sitting down in a corner, he knows her, but he is not sure from where. It finally dawns on him, an old family friend, the one that suggested to him to go into acting and whom as they ascended to adulthood, he had a crush on, but time passed and nothing happened. Now he meets Alexianna again and he is not going to miss the chance to speak with her once more, but there is an issue, time has not been good to her, her life is more complex now. Can Tom handle what it entails when the one you care for has a child already and can Alexianna deal with the pressures of being the real-life girlfriend of the internet’s boyfriend?
Chapter 3
Chapter Summary - Tom and Alexianna get coffee and discuss things in greater detail, leading to a few reveals about Alexianna's life over the past few years.
TRIGGERS - Past domestic abuse, Past emotional abuse, Past sexual abuse.
Previous Chapter
Request if you wish to be tagged
'So, is there someone, in particular, you need to be home for at five for?' He asked, trying to not sound nosy. In truth he just wanted Alexianna to actually talk about herself and thought it a good place to start.
'Not really, no.'
'So no boyfriend?'
'No, you?'
'Not really into guys myself, no.' Tom smiled before laughing slightly, 'No, I am single these days.'
'No more pop princesses?' Alexianna teased.
'No.' The way Tom looked at his cup told her a lot. 'That is not something I would ever consider again.'
'That's your choice.' Alexianna stated, not pushing the issue any further.
'Do you talk to your mother these days?' There was a sudden tension in the air as Alexianna looked at him silently. 'I'm sorry, I should not have asked.'
'I haven't spoken to my mother in four years.'
'I would have thought you would be happier about that if she was the same as she was when you grew up,' Tom prodded gently.
'I suppose I should, it came to a head, everything, and I needed her, but she wasn't there, I was really down about it. I thought she would be there, because she knew what it was like, but no.'
Tom frowned, unsure of what to say. 'I'm sorry.'
'Not your fault.' Alexianna dismissed.
'Was it even yours?' she did not answer. 'Lexi?'
'It doesn't matter. I know it wasn't, but still, part of my brain niggles at me that if I had done this or that better, it wouldn't have happened.' she explained. Tom took her hand in his and squeezed it gently, to show her he was there, noticing that it was hot and sweaty. 'I was married.' she admitted it as though it was something dirty, something to be ashamed of. 'But he left, four years ago.'
'I...' There was nothing Tom could think of to say to that.
'I have not heard anything from him since, nothing. I finally applied last year for a divorce, but I couldn't find him to sign the papers.'
'Where does that leave you?' Tom asked curiously, knowing nothing of such situations.
'I am doing it through a solicitor that deals with these sorts of cases, but it is not easy.'
'I dare say not. How long were you married?'
'Three years.' the manner in which she said it told Tom it was not the most pleasant of times. 'I made some terrible decisions, it cost me college, everything.'
'So that is why you are back in college now?' She nodded. 'You are so strong.' he commended, smiling encouragingly at her.
'I got a bit sideswiped, but I'm getting there.' Her smile was not as big, or as confident as his, but she still meant it. 'What about you?'
'No marriages or anything, I have been so busy with work, then last year...'
'You sound like you regret it.'
'I do, in many respects, I don't in others.' he decided to be honest, she was more than so with him. 'Is that why your mother...'
'When it happened her, it was my father’s fault, he was in the wrong, he was the problem, when it happened me, it was all me, I made the mistakes, I was the reason he left.' she stated.
'How does Daniel feel about it?' Tom asked, referencing her older brother.
'Daniel wants to know where he is,' she admitted. 'So he can find him and bury him.'
Tom smiled, Daniel was only two years older than Alexianna and they were always close, she almost mothered him in many respects, cooking, cleaning, being the mother they didn't really have. 'Do you still talk?'
'He works on the rigs up in the North Sea, he is down every few months, he pays my rent and everything, he forked out for me to get back to school.' She smiled fondly. 'I just make sure he is fed and his clothes washed when he is back. He is home at the moment.'
'Good, tell him I said hi,' Tom was relieved she at least had her brother for company.
'I will.' she promised. She looked at the expensive watch on Tom's wrist. 'I have taken enough of your day.' she rose to her feet.
Tom was somewhat startled by her jumping out of the chair. 'It's no trouble, Lexi.' she gave a small grimace of a smile. 'Do you not like that name anymore?'
'It brings back some memories.' she explained.
'Bad ones?' Tom guessed.
'No, not bad.' there was a distance in her voice and a smile on her face as she said that.
'I don't understand.'
'Your family always called me that, you guys and Daniel, so it just...it can be hard hearing it, I miss those times.'
'Have you spoken to Emma recently?'
'I haven't spoken to Emma in ten years.' Tom frowned. 'She went to college and I just...I never heard from her again, I guess she got busy.'
'Did you try to contact her?'
'Yeah, for a while, but things got bad then so...' She gently took the bag off the table, 'I better run, Tom. I need to get back before Daniel, he lost his old key so we got new locks in so he doesn't have a key, he'll be locked out otherwise.'
'Of course,' he rose to his feet, noting how she never grew over the five foot three she had been when he last saw her. He realised too she lied about someone waiting for her but said nothing. 'I know this is odd, but would you mind if we met again soon?' She looked up at him, perplexed. 'I enjoyed catching up with you, not many people have time for normal talk these days, they all want to know who I know and how I can help them.'
'The joys of celebrity.' Alexianna joked before becoming serious. 'I...' Tom looked at her pleadingly. 'You have my number now, you can talk whenever you're free.'
'I promise I won't give it to anyone.' he held up his hand like he was swearing an oath.
'I know, I have far more leverage than you in this. I am a nameless no one, you are a movie star with crazy fans.' she grinned.
Tom licked his teeth, 'Yes, the ball is in your court there.'
'I would never do that Tom, you know...you can trust me.'
'I don't know you as I did,' he acknowledged. 'But the Alexianna I knew would never tell anyone anything she knew she shouldn't. I think you're still her.'
'That's a lot of faith to put on a person you have not known in years. Has that bitten your ass before now?'
'Yes, it has. I guess I am a slow learner.'
'Or the perpetual optimist,' she smiled. 'I won't give it to anyone, I have a lot of shit on teenage you and I never even uttered a word to your sisters or my brother.'
'Like what?' Tom asked curiously.
'The time you stole your mom's car and went to buy alcohol and then dinged her car on the way back.' Tom's eyes widened with horror. 'I saw you, and I said nothing.'
'Thank you.' Tom smiled. Alexianna went to extend her hand to shake his, but Tom leant forward and embraced her in a hug. Part of her wanted to pull back, but the smell of his cologne engulfed her, along with his kind gesture, making her cease her protest and embrace him back. 'You've filled out.' She noted when they moved apart.
'You too.' Tom immediately stuttered. 'Not that you are fat or anything, just that you got breasts. I mean, shit.' In a mix of hilarity and mortification, Alexianna laughed. 'I'm so sorry, I made this so awkward.'
'It's fine. I will see you soon Tom.' she turned and walked away.
When she was out of sight, Tom put his hands behind his head. 'I am a fucking idiot.'
'Do I want to know?' he turned to see Branagh behind him.
'I just bumped into an old friend today.'
'Riiiight.' the older actor asked, not seeing how that was an issue.
'I just told her she filled out, then proceeded to tell her that I did not mean to imply she was fat, but that she got breasts.' he explained. Branagh stood still for a moment, computing Tom's words before erupting in laughter. 'Yes, I have just made a tit of myself.'
It took a few moments for Branagh to cease laughing. 'Please do not tell me this "family friend" is someone you wished to pursue as something more with.' Tom did not respond, 'You don't like making life easy on yourself, do you?'
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let me go ~ corbyn besson
requested:
Can I have a corbyn request based off the song let me go by Hailee?
summary: y/n tries to explain the falling of their relationship to her heartbroken boyfriend
warning(s): cursing, ill-written story
word count: 1250
author’s note: k so this is my first corbean imagine and i’m not quite sure how i feel? like i wanted to cry while writing it but at the same time i was like this is such a good prompt and i’m a shit writer?? so i hope you guys don’t hate me for it because truthfully i have no idea how to feel about it. enjoy? maybe?
Thoughts traveled through my mind as i laid down in my bed. Everything about me was exhausted; my eyes, my brain, my heart. Exhaustion just splattered through my bloodstream as i could barely keep my eye lids open. And yet, there was something deep inside of me that kept me awake.
It wasn’t something I’d done through the day. Not something too sugary, not something scary, not something mind blowing or amazing. Just something mentally draining.
My body was drenched in sweat, but i didn’t move. The chances of my sleeping boyfriend beside me waking up was greater when i moved. And if he woke up, then all the thoughts that came through my brain would spill out of my mouth.
I sat silently on the couch, trying my best to focus my eyes on the tv that seemed to be moving faster than my brain could. Corbyn sat beside me, his fingertips resting gently on my knee, sending a shock wave through my body with one touch.
Within moments of me dazing off, I came back to Corbyn speaking to me, “hey, is everything ok?”
There was something different about him too; not necessarily a good different either. He seemed more tired than usual. And not the tired where he’s been on tour for so long and spending long hours in the studio. the tired where everything inside of him seemed to be over me. He didn’t look at me the way he’d looked at me in the years we’d spent together, first as friends and then more. His eyes were darker and his bags were bigger. So instead of the truth, i sent him a half-assed fake smile, “yeah. everything’s great”
And when he looked away, giving me a forced smile, every single one of my thoughts was confirmed. Corbyn knew me. He knew everything about me, from my favorite color to the way i ate my pizza differently to the sounds i made when i was frustrated or turned on or happy. My boyfriend knew exactly how i was feeling, but nothing inside of him pushed him to question my easily false answer. He just pretended like i wasn’t upset or like we both didn’t know what was going to happen.
My heart shattered at the idea that we both were avoiding this. The conversation that was bound to happen at some point. We were two separate people, and while he was there for me during the most difficult times of my life, we’d grown apart.
I want the best for Corbyn, truly. Everything about him was amazing. He had a kind heart, always. There was no sense of evil inside of him, putting everyone else before him. Everyone who knew him understood that in a time of need, he’d be there to spare a shoulder and a laugh.
He’s an amazing person who deserves an amazing person. There was no part of me that could love him the way that he deserved. I’m not a good girlfriend, i never have been and i don’t know if i ever will be. Still, through the bumps and bruises and strains i’d caused this relationship, he put every piece of his heart into me and shaping me into a better person. And I am grateful for that, but i know deep down that he deserves someone much better than me.
These ideas had gathered inside of me for a while now, but nothing had given me the courage to say this. Nothing before today.
“let me go,” My brain was no longer in control of my mouth when the whispered words formed on my lips. Corbyn’s eyes shot up towards mine as i sat there, shocked in what i’d finally gotten out of my mouth, “leave me already”
“y/n-” he started but i cut him off.
“i know you’re avoiding it just as much as i am,” I explain, “it’s not fair to you”
“i don’t know what i’ve been avoiding, y/n. please stop” his voice was drained, no matter how hard he tried not to agree.
I shook my head at my boyfriend of several years, “us, corbyn. we’re not good together anymore. let me go, leave me, find someone else”
his eyes saddened at the thought, but deep inside of him, corbyn wanted to do just so without any other words, “y/n”
my name fell off his lips as i closed my eyes, “I can’t hurt you anymore. We were good for a while, but everything i do to you- It’s intoxicating and you deserve someone better than me. You deserve to be loved in ways better than i can give you”
He stayed silent for several moments, taking in every single sentence i fed him. Corbyn’s eyes frowned and thought, “It’s not that, y/n. Stop thinking like that”
“I promise to you, Corbyn, you deserve so much better. Let me go. Leave me to someone who deserves me and go get yourself a girl who can treat you with more love and respect”
“i agree, it’s been hard. But haven’t we gotten through the bumps?” He told me.
“it’s not enough. We’re not enough anymore. You want to deny it, but i know you. You have been everything and more to me for so long and i know you well enough to see past the lies that leave your mouth. You’re so tired with us, Corb. Stop lying to yourself and just leave”
“It’s not that easy. i don’t care how tired i am of this, i love you” he tells me, “you’re my entire world. i can’t just give up on you”
i watched as a tear dripped down his face and i looked away, trying to avoid a similar event but inevitably failing, “let me go”
“no”
“please”
“no”
“let me go”
“for godsakes, y/n! i’m not letting you get away”
“give me up, for your own good! go find the love of your fucking life and let me go. I’ll be fine. I’ll find somebody. I’ll focus on school and i’ll get a good job. Someone is out there for me, don’t let your foolish thoughts think that i’m getting away. We’ll both be fine. Find someone that can love you”
“it’s not that easy,” he let out a quivering breath, “you can’t just assume we’ll both be fine. Relationships are hard, but you don’t just give up on them”
“it’s not worth the strain. i’m not worth the strain, so just let me go” soft cries escaped my mouth as i began to break down in front of my boyfriend. this mental state of mine wasn’t unfamiliar to him. it didn’t make me uncomfortable to cry in front of my boyfriend normally, but today was different. today, crying felt weak. it felt as if i was letting him see my emotion, letting him see past a wall that i’d built.
“please, y/n”
“someone will love you, let me go” my tears fell faster as i stood up, his hand falling off my leg as my legs sprinted towards the front door. i nearly knocked over daniel on my way out, but fortunately i made it past him, able to close the door behind me as i found my car parked in the same spot it was parked everyday for three years.
i sat down quickly, wiping the tears away from my eyes and then placing my hands on the steering wheel. and now where to go...
#corbyn besson#jack avery#jonah marais#daniel seavey#zach herron#corbyn besson imagine#why don't we#wdw#imagines#imagine#let me go#hailee steinfeld
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