#cringe fics | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mitsvriii · 19 days

Text

“so you just…shift the flour in this?” confusion was evident in his face as aventurine gave the flour shifter’s handle a slight turn, testing it out as if it were a new bicycle’s pedals.

although he had his fair share of sweet treats before, aventurine never had the luxury of making them for himself; or anyone else for that matter. naturally, he jumped at the offer to bake with you despite his slim knowledge about how most desserts were made.

aventurine wasn’t clueless, don’t get him wrong, he simply lacked the necessary time (and some skills) to cook something up as good as you, who had a handful of experience in the cooking ‘business’.

you nodded as you flipped through the cookbook again to make sure you prepared all the necessary ingredients, “makes the flour thinner, takes out clumps.” you glanced up from the book to give him an encouraging look, sliding the bowl of flour over to him.

aventurine sunk two fingers into the flour, rubbing them together as he took them out as if to test how thick the powder-like substance was. sparing a glance, albeit mischievous, as he tried his best to deal with the flour for you.

feeling something tickle your cheek, you turned and meet aventurine’s gaze as he gave you soft smile, “here.” his left arm wrapped around you to place the flour in front of you.

“thank you-“

a sputter left you as aventurine’s laugh reached your ears as you wiped whatever that was off your face. opening your eyes as you blinked away the excess powder off your eyes, and…

oh my god.

aventurine covered his mouth with his right hand that was tainted white from flour as he tried to cover his laughs with coughs. “i’m-i’m sorry. that wasn’t-“

a sharp gasp was pulled from his lips as you dumped the bowl of flour over his head. “actually, that was very funny”, you finished his sentence off with practiced ease as you dusted your hand off on your apron.

“oh, okay.” the bowl hit the counter as aventurine shook the flour from his hair, creeping up to go snatch up some more of it in his hand from the bag. “i see how it is.”

“if the kitchen gets messy to the point i can’t see the floor, you’re cleaning it up with me”, clutching the countertop’s edge in hand, you moved to try and get on the other side of it as cover.

“of course, love.” a yelp left you as you narrowly ducked the sheet of powder that fell down beside you like a mess of dust that got disturbed.

as you tried to duck past him to grab flour yourself, he grabbed you up by your waist, holding you in place as he reached over for some himself.

“no-no-“ a shriek released from your throat as aventurine started smothering the flour over your hair, but not close to your hairline so he wouldn’t get any in your eyes.

ignoring the flour-battle you had on, aventurine’s other arm snaked down to grasp your waist, fingers trailing up and down your sides. giggles and short breathed stop’s were piling out of your lips as he continued his onslaught on tickles.

your baking was forgotten as the other ingredients sat out, some of them covered in flour like the two of you. maybe once the two of you had gotten cleaned up you could actually bake something. however, chances of that were about as slim as recovering all of the flour you wasted; although it was for a good cause because desserts or no desserts, you had gotten to see him happy either way.

lazy fic (ew), needed to post something 😓, not proofread

#🍙 - honkai star rail writings #・ nouveau livre ˎˊ˗#cringes #another fic i hate 🤧#aventurine x reader #aventurine x you #hsr x reader #hsr x you #aventurine fluff #aventurine hsr

408 notes · View notes

howlonomy · 2 months

Note

Monster Clover, like this is so awesomecool.

They're such a little beast and it is amazing and please i need more, like written text even i just need the juicy lore and emotional moments that are circling in ur brain.

HAT: RETRIEVED!!

#undertale yellow #uty clover #flowey the flower #chara dreemurr #frisk undertale #monster clover au #my art #as for emotional moments. hang in there for another day or 2. got a big batch of comics coming 😈#if i ever made a fic for this au i would not advertise it. i got irls following me #they can look at all my cringe ass art but if they read a WORD of fic i wrote i would have to end it all. hope this helps #anyways. frisk appears!! i wont be doing too many canon ut characters in this little au but i like frisk :)#theyre also important for the next part #narrator chara makes an appearance too bc i love them #cowboy (gender neutral)#SORRY I LOVE RAMBLING IN TAGS </3 i love Talking #BUT THANK YOUU i also love my little skrungly im so glad other people like them so much too #mcau comic #mcau art

615 notes · View notes

asleepinawell · 2 months

Text

every time i go through the end of ew and see the cs with zenos in sharlayan i have to stop and imagine his conversation with that customs lady at the docks when she asked what his job was and he would have gone off on one of his typical monologues about living for 'the hunt, the THRIIIIIIIIILL of bahttle the raw pulsing ecstacy of being locked together in combat, teeth at each other's throats, giving in to the huungaahh that can never be sated' etc etc and she would have been like uh huh so you're unemployed hmmm i see

#ffxiv #ffxivmp #mp #zenos #writes on her clipboard: gay but in a cringe way #every zenos monologue is his self insert fic of him and the wol #and he is just going around giving free performances of it to anyone unfortunate enough to be caught near him #also this is why the idea of zenos surviving and being forced to help the scions is so funny #not his interactions with the scions #but his futile and begeudging attempts to live in a society #boy has to do paperwork and deal with bureaucracy and that is comedy gold potential

453 notes · View notes

mysterycitrus · 16 days

Text

i think isolating the bats from their teams and external support systems is like….. functionally bad. like wdym red hood is on dicks speeddial but his actual soulmate donna troy isn’t. why is everyone in gotham. why do these people have no friends

#fic where the league never meets the bats and are super intimidated by them but somehow dick is still nightwing #every fic where people call jason for help instead of the titans or the bop #fic where wally hangs around dick 24/7 but there’s no linda or iris or the twins or hartley or anyone else mentioned #donna is just totally mia. roy is there for jason to get mad at or fight ollie for #kon waxes poetic about being a clone but is otherwise an accessory to tim #the bats are so smart and special and league is so afraid of them as if everyone doesn’t collectively think bruce is cringe #cass is in hong kong. again. for some reason #no one knows who garth is #look me in the eyes and tell me guy gardner would give a shit about bruce waynes menacing aura

326 notes · View notes

sirmanmister · 5 months

Text

MacCready not beating the generational trauma allegations 😔😔😔

#sketch that turned into a bigger sketch #I have so many emotion about him <3 #I wanna write a whole 90k word fic about him farming #let me depict him being cringe fail at canning pls I won’t be weird #me when I lie #anyway yeah I’m stupid abt him and also pls zoom in on the bear #it has the little lamplight hat 🥳#fallout 4 #rj maccready #MacCready #fallout #fallout 3 #fallout 4 fanart #fallout fanart #fallout 3 fanart #rj MacCready fanart #MacCready fanart #serenade draws

1K notes · View notes

walmart-miku · 6 months

Text

ok people we gotta stop making mori the source of all evil with soukoku. Yes mori is evil about how he treated yosano and a lot of the pm members but that's a whole other can of worms.

Anyways with skk MORI WOULD NOT TRY TO GET IN THEIR WAY IN FACT HE WOULD ENCOURAGE THEIR ASSES TO GET TOGETHER THIS PANEL EXISTS FOR A REASON.

MORI SHIPS THEM SO BAD ITS ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS.

Fics need to stop making this dude try to prevent skk from dating. I want a crack fic where mori is just like "Hey how was ur day do u like to kiss guys?" To both dazai and chuuya. I want mori shenanigans where he's actively trying so hard to set them up and Elise is sitting in a corner with kouyou and they're hard core judging him.

#Every skk fic I read is another skk fic where mori is actively getting in the way of skk #I have very complicated feelings about mori ok #hate his ass #But he's also a silly little guy #He fucked up yosano really badly and I absolutely adore yosano she is best girl I will fight you on this #But also he's a pathetic cringe fail wet cat of a man #Do you see where in going with this?#Mori is the definition of morally grey #But uh yeah #I think mori trying to get skk together would make for a fantastic crack fic if anyones interested in writing it #And yes the “how was ur day do u like to kiss guys?” Is from the my while family thinks I'm gay song bc yes #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #soukoku #bsd mori

558 notes · View notes

ginevrapng · 6 months

Note

this is 1000% self-insert lol but how do you think James would react if he’s dating midsize reader and he overhears one of the mean girls in your year telling her friends that she keeps trying to flirt with him “but that fat bitch won’t leave him alone, I can’t ever get him by himself”

tw: the word 'fat' being used in a derogatory tone, (disclaimer/reminder- fat is a descriptive word and there is nothing wrong with the word but it can be used in a derogatory way, meaning to insult)

james is the type of boyfriend to be utterly confused when someone says something mean about you or if you say something about yourself. he genuinely just doesn't get it. in his eyes you're perfect and he's baffled at the thought that other people disagree. you're perfect inside and out, he loves everything about you, to your kind heart to your squishy arms and soft body, everything about you is perfect. when he hears some girl a year below him talking to her friends being bitchy he thinks nothing of it, she's mean but it's none of his business, at least until he heard his name in a harsh tone. "potter is so hot but that fat bitch won’t leave him alone, i can’t ever get him by himself." james stops on the spot. did she just?

before he can process and respond to that bitch he see's his beautiful girlfriend come up to him with a big smile as you fling yourself into his arms. "missed you," you mumble against his chest and you have missed him, you saw him earlier on this morning but you had defence against the dark arts with some girls who are always mean to you and you've heard them whispering about james again. there's always someone talking about you and your relationship. you've never told james about it, you don't want to bother him and you worry that he won't understand, it's been proven now by the fact he's in complete shock over what he overheard.

he grabs your chin gently and lifts it up so you're making eye contact, he nuzzles against you, and says loud enough for those who are listening in, "i love you." you smile and kiss his cheek, and suddenly he's swinging you around and holding onto your plush middle tightly. you shriek in surprise and grab onto his forearm. "I'VE GOT THE BEST GIRLFRIEND IN THE WORLD," he shouts at the top of his lungs and you laugh at his antics.

"what on earth are you doing james?" you ask him while laughing.

"JUST LETTING THE WHOLE WORLD KNOW I HAVE THE BEST GIRLFRIEND EVER," he spins you around again and purposely makes sure those girls can see as he bombards your face with kisses.

"what's gotten into you today?" you giggle and place your hands on his chest.

"just love ya, that's all." he grins at you.

"i love you too james."

"well that's good, my gorgeous wonderful perfect girlfriend who i love so much. c'mon lets get some food."

you both go and make your way to the great hall and the girls can hear in the distance james who is still complimenting you. "you're the cutest y'know," he squeezes you tight and pulls you close to him.

i hope you enjoy this! i certainly love james with a bigger reader, it warms my heart!! james would be absolutely smitten with a bigger reader

410 notes · View notes

hbdttg · 1 year

Text

Part 1 / tag list below the cut

“I’m quitting,” Eddie declares, “I’m out. Call me a tree, ‘cause I’m leaving. Call me a banana, ‘cause I’m splitting. T-t-t-t-that’s all, folks!” he adds, doing his best impression of Porky Pig’s signature stammering.

Chrissy’s laser focus doesn’t stray from her monitor, even when Eddie bodily throws himself into the chair across her desk with a long, strangled groan. Wordlessly, she raises her left index finger at him in a silencing gesture. With her brows furrowed in concentration, she drags her mouse around on its pad and double-clicks something on her screen before nodding decisively to herself. After another few clicks, she finally lowers her finger, raises her eyes, and meets Eddie’s gaze.

“Would you mind grabbing what I just printed? Please?” she asks, smiling at him imploringly.

Chrissy could ask Eddie to bleach his hair and shave off an eyebrow and he’d do it. She’s actually who he has to thank for landing such a cushy job with HHH—a referral from a trusted associate like her goes a long way in a place like this.

And despite Eddie’s many complaints about becoming a corporate sellout, he can’t deny that it certainly has its perks. The office is only a ten-minute commute from his apartment, the compensation agreement he signed amounted to more money than his last two jobs combined, his benefits package is frankly ridiculous, and he gets to work with one of his best friends in the world. Overall, not a bad gig.

Even so, he makes a show of sighing, loud and longsuffering, before doing as Chrissy asks, leaving her office to grab her job off the printer. Eddie knows she works in HR and some of her stuff can get pretty confidential, so he doesn’t even try to skim the contents of the page as he walks it back over to her.

“Here,” he says, thrusting the paper at Chrissy facedown.

“Thanks!” she says. She makes no moves to take it from him. “That’s for you, actually.”

Curious, Eddie takes the paper back and flips it over. In the center of the page is a graphic of safety sign one might find in a cartoon factory, though Chrissy had edited the original from “[___] Days Since Last Accident” to “[___] Days Since Eddie Last Threatened to Quit His Job”. There’s a big red zero in the counter box.

Eddie tries to glower down at Chrissy, but it’s sort of hard to maintain when she bursts into laughter. It’s been years, but the sound of Chrissy laughing like this, all bright and breathless and unrestrained, never fails to transport him back to his (third) senior year of high school, when they first became friends over a failed drug deal.

“Don’t be cute,” Eddie says with a laughable lack of authority, dropping heavily back down into the chair.

“Do you know who you’re talking to?” Chrissy counters, brow raised archly.

Eddie rolls his eyes, crumpling the page into a ball and lobbing it in between them.

Chrissy lets the ball land harmlessly on her desk before sweeping it into the trashcan by her feet. “Just so you know, I’ve had that saved on my desktop since Monday—and I haven’t had to edit the days count a single time.”

Eddie scoffs, but it’s hard to defend himself when this current visit marks the fifth day in a row he’s floundered into her office, vainly announcing his resignation. “Yeah, well,” he says weakly, “printing it seems like a gross misuse of company resources.”

“What are you going to do, report me?” Chrissy says with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes.

“Let me guess: you’re the one who receives those reports?” Eddie says dryly.

“Yep!” she says cheerfully. “Now, go on and tell me about your latest trainwreck of an interaction with Steve Harrington.”

“Christ, Chris!” Eddie hisses, leaping to his feet and immediately spinning around to check if anyone was around to hear her damning words. The coast is clear, luckily, but he still scrambles to shut her office door before falling back into his chair. “You can’t just go around saying his name all willy-nilly.”

“He’s not gonna suddenly appear if you say his name three times, Eddie. See, watch. Steve. Steve. St—”

“Don’t risk it!” Eddie squawks loudly, cutting her off.

“You’re an absolute mess,” she says through a laugh, shaking her head at him.

And well, Chrissy’s not wrong.

Eddie’s been a mess since Monday morning, when he unknowingly produced, directed, and starred in The Roast of Steve Harrington. He blames his shitty memory for forgetting what floor his new office was on—if he’d known he was sharing the elevator with someone he could have potentially worked with (let alone someone whose surname made up a third of the company name), he wouldn’t have opened his big, fat mouth in the first place.

When he finally gathered the courage to make it back down to the fifty-second floor and show his face at the HHH office, he kicked off his onboarding with Chrissy with a strangled, “I know it’s my first day and I technically just started ten minutes ago, but I quit. Thank you for the opportunity and good-bye forever.”

Chrissy, the traitor, spent a full five minutes laughing in his face over his shamefully recounted story before patting him twice on the head and informing him he wasn’t allowed to quit for at least six months. The overly saccharine tone of her voice alone told Eddie there was no room for argument there.

Still, that didn’t stop him from following her into her office after the all-hands meeting on Tuesday, all the while whining in her ear, “I can’t thrive in these conditions, Chrissy. Please, I beg of you—accept my sincere and humble resignation from this cursed hellscape.”

‘These conditions’ consisted of any rooms and/or conversations that contained Steve Harrington. Eddie hadn’t been expecting to see the guy doting over the catering when he walked into the conference room that afternoon, and he certainly wasn’t expecting his supervisor and trainer, Murray, to lead him over to Steve to introduce the two of them (though that was likely just an excuse to head straight for the sandwiches that were laid out for the meeting).

While Eddie choked on his own tongue trying to spit out some generic, inoffensive greeting, Steve merely watched him with an amused smirk before thrusting his hand out and offering a perfectly friendly “It’s nice to meet you, Eddie, I’m Steve”, as if Eddie didn’t have Steve’s name and face (and stupidly fit body—who the fuck looks that good in a pair of khakis?!) burnt into his memory from the day prior.

Afterward, Murray, who most assuredly did not have a filter of any kind, bluntly commented on Eddie’s awkwardness, then spent the next five minutes trying to determine if it was normal, strangers-meeting-for-the-first time awkwardness, or something more sensational. Eddie stubbornly kept his mouth shut until the meeting started.

Wednesday followed a similar pattern, with Eddie flouncing into Chrissy’s office with a dramatic “I choose to break my blood oath. At this point I’d welcome the sweet release of death if it meant I didn’t have to work here anymore.”

Chrissy just corrected him, patiently explaining that he was employed at-will, rather than by blood oath, and that if he left before his sixth month, she’d personally skin him alive. Eddie had to pause and weigh the pros and cons of being skinless. Surely it couldn’t be worse than his latest exchange with Steve—via email this time, mercifully.

He’d just learned how to field helpdesk tickets and received one from Steve Harrington himself. It was a simple enough software request ticket, so he assigned it to himself and replied with next steps, asking Steve for a code so he could remote into his computer and install the program.

Steve replied back, asking where he was supposed to find the code. It was an innocuous enough question, but then Eddie noticed something a little off about his email signature: his last name was bolded.

Eddie ignored it, assuming it was a stylistic choice—nothing to read into, surely—but then Steve sent another email shortly after to let him know to disregard his last email; he’d found the right app and was just waiting for it to generate a code. This time, Harrington was bolded and at least two sizes bigger than his first name.

Then, in Steve’s third email, sent not a minute later with the requested code, Harrington was bolded, two sizes bigger than his first name, and highlighted yellow—a tactic Chrissy found so hilarious that she had to shoo Eddie out of her office with tears in her eyes so that she could compose herself and actually get some work done.

Thursday was a blessed reprieve from Steve’s unique brand of psychological warfare, but Eddie still somehow managed to royally humiliate himself in front of him. After he slunk into her office and silently pushed a scribbled-on napkin across her desk—

Please accept this letter as my formal resignation from my position as Systems Analyst II at HHH, effective immediately. Effective yesterday. In fact, I’ll pay you back the entirety of my wages earned if we just forget I ever worked here.

—Chrissy tutted at him sympathetically before taking the napkin and reaching over to dab it at the large wet stain on his shirt.

He’d been walking back to his desk from the breakroom when he rounded a corner and bumped into Steve in the hallway. Literally bumped into, bodily contact and surprised yelps and everything. And it probably wouldn’t have been such a big deal, really, if not for the fact that he had a newly refilled mug of coffee in his hand.

“Eddie, oh my god, are you okay?”

No, Eddie wasn’t okay, because he just splashed himself with hot fucking coffee and now Steve Harrington was worriedly fussing over him and tentatively trying to mop up the liquid with his own fucking hands for some reason, and he was embarrassed (and a little turned on?) and he had to get the fuck out of there now.

“I’m okay, sorry, it’s fine—” he managed to squeak before whirling around and scurrying to the bathroom.

So yes, Eddie’s been an absolute mess the past few days, and today is no different.

…Actually, scratch that. Today is different. Today is worse.

“Okay, now spill,” Chrissy says. “What happened?”

With another drawn-out, pitiful groan, Eddie sinks down in his seat and lets his neck hang off the backrest, blinking up at the ceiling.

“Talk to me, Eds,” Chrissy says, concern starting to bleed into her voice. “If he’s actually bullying you, you can file a complaint. I have a form here somewhere.”

Eddie hears her open one of her desk drawers and reluctantly sits up. “He’s not bullying me, Mom,” he says with a huff. “We actually…we talked.”

“You talked?” Chrissy asks, eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, about the elevator. Buried the hatchet and everything. I said sorry, we laughed about it, it’s over and done with.” Eddie’s gaze darts around Chrissy’s desk, searching for something to distract him from the warm and fuzzy feeling growing in his stomach at the memory of their conversation.

“That’s great, I’m so proud of you!” Chrissy says cheerfully. “But wait, if you two are good now…”

Eddie doesn’t want her to ask what she’s about to ask, because the answer might be more embarrassing than all of his other Steve stories combined.

“Why are you still going on about quitting?”

Eddie drops his face into his hands, feeling totally and utterly pathetic. “Um, because I think I’m sort of, kind of, just a little bit…in love with him?”

-------------------------------------

tbh I didn’t think I’d be writing a second part, but if strangers on the internet validate me enough, I guess I’ll do anything~

Y’ALL. I’m blown away by the response to part one of this silly lil au. I didn’t reply to any of the lovely comments or tags, but please know if you engaged in any way (or even if you just read the fic and snorted a little through your nose at a bit you found funny) I love you with my entire heart and you’ve made my entire life.

[Now for the tag list, which I’ve never done before. Sorry if you didn’t actually want to be on here! Or, sorry if you’re stumbling upon this post on your own after asking to be tagged and I missed you oops.]

@messrs-weasley @n0-1-important @bornonthesavage @thing-a-ling @eddiemunsonswife @changenamelater @ispyblu @thesuninyaface

@invisibleflame812 @4nemo1egend @ikolanatari @mavernanche @songbird-garden @trashpocket @original-cypher @over7joyed

@commonxsenss @justdyingontheinside @mojowitchcraft @maya-custodios-dionach @justmiiriam @imzadidragonfly @lillemilly @gay-stranger-things @child-of-cthulhu @bleedingoptimism @lemanzanabizarra @melaniehere91

@iswearitsjustme @silver-snaffles @csinnamon-fox @paint-music-with-me @epicsteddieficrecs @sweetcreaturetm @hxneyfarms @bossyknow-it-all @vecnuthy @stevethehairington @anything-thats-rock-and-roll @nburkhardt

@gayngerthings @patchworkgargoyle @violetsteve @henderdads @2btheanswertothequestion

#stranger things #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie #steddie fic #modern office au #corporate steddie au #platonic hellcheer #okay obviously eddie's not actually in love with steve #in this au he's a dramatic bitch on top of being a cringe fail loser boy and it's so delightful to me #when he says 'in love with' he means in that superficial infatuated way you sometimes get #when you're suddenly super into someone you don't actually know #let him liiiive #fic writing #hbd

2K notes · View notes

reallyhatethiswebsite · 26 days

Text

girl dad Raphael ends my life

He's not unaware of the intense gaze on him. He's ignoring it until his little admirer decides what she wants to say. She's patient, he'll give her that, but in the end she's a child and he has lived for nearly two millenia. He will outlast her. He will -

"You are staring, daughter."

Or not. His blasted curiosity gets the better of him. He has folded his hand in this silent game. He has been bested by this beast of his own creation, and from the way she giggles, she knows it.

"Yes I am, father," she admits, brazen as a bull.

"Would you care to tell me why?"

The creature's mother, lounging on a chaise across the room, hides a smile behind the pages of the novel she's reading. Clearly she finds this amusing. Later, he swears, he will show her something he finds amusing.

"Well, I was just thinking..." says the child, resting her chin on her hands. It still shocks him how small they are. Even fully spread, her fingers don't cover the span of his own palms. Looking at her hands stirs his protective instincts, fatherly instincts he didn't believe he possessed until she came crashing into his life. "Your horns are really nice and pretty but I think they would look even nicer if I put some gems and ribbons on them."

His wife disguises her laughter as a cough. Wretch. He raises a brow at his daughter, otherwise keeping his face neutral as possible.

"My horns are pretty, you say?"

She nods emphatically, kicking her feet. "Yep! They're so big and spirally and spikey. I hope mine look like that when I grow up."

He bites his forked tongue to stem the flow of pride and happiness he experiences. Despite his verbose inclinations, his knowledge of a hundred languages both young and old, he can't describe what it's like to be given such free and unconditional love like that; true to his nature, he hoards it greedily, adding to the ever-growing list in the recesses of his rotten soul of the terrible things he would do to keep this child safe and happy. He is the apple of her eye, and he will raze the Hells themselves to stay that way. Of course, she doesn't need to know any of this, not yet, so instead he fixes her with a placid look and says:

"So, what do we do when we have a theory?"

"Test it!" She shrieks, delighted, and hops off her seat to run to her room and grab her things.

"No running in the house!" He barks after her. There shan't be a repeat of the great statue-collapsing-incident, thank you very much. Tav's expression when she looks at him warms the coals of desire in his belly. He leans back in his seat and preens. When his daughter returns, her arms full of jewellery and ribbons (of course he spoils her; no child of his will want for anything) he lets her - just this once, mind - sit on his desk, obediently lowering his head so she can decorate his crown of horns as she sees fit.

Her theory, in his opinion, is proven correct: he looks fantastic.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 raphael #baldur's gate 3 #raphael x tav #fanfic #kid fic #cringe

212 notes · View notes