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mamamittens · 7 months

Note

Heyy! Koala and i want to get a strawberry chunks (Me as a siren) shake with some caramel syrup. With sprinkles and a cherry on top please! Koala would like an Alice in Wonderland and a White Russian with that, and i'll get a green tea shot and a brain hemorrhage. with a red bean and vanilla mochi side treat. I'm Oleander, i use they/them pronouns (AMAB)! Tall, tan, and chubby with curly hair. I'm a very anxious person and shy. i stutter a lot but i try to be very friendly w/ everyone!

Hu-ZAH! It is done!

I am so sorry it took so long, lol.

Ah... some mild spooky vibes btw

Koala X OC (Oleander)

Warnings: size kink, unprotected sex, exophilia, creampie, overstimulation, and implied aphrodisiac via sound. (Mild dubcon vibes due to this) Oh! And implied murder!

Also, OC is yandere.

I hope you enjoy!

Word count: 2,537

The countryside was peaceful in the fall. Amber leaves littering the road that were steadily trampled by caravans passing through. Koala had been gone for a few years at this point, learning a few trades in one of the big cities. Her apprenticeships had gone smoothly, and now she was fully qualified to restore the family home on her own.

It wasn’t the original dream her parents had for her, which involved marrying an affluent man to take care of her, but it was one Koala could live with. She always liked the idea of being independent anyway.

It was once a beautiful cabin home on the lakeside. Built from the forest itself in thick logs with several rooms. Decorated with hunting furs and traded goods. But then her parents died shortly before she came of age.

Drowned in the lake.

She was despondent and had to leave behind her family home—and her best friend.

Oleander was a siren who migrated along the waterways that happened to connect to the lake her family lived by. Their family came through the area twice a year and she always looked forward to it as a child. Most people were afraid of them, but Koala never saw a reason to. They were due to return to the area in a few weeks when her parents drowned.

Although she never got to say goodbye, Koala knew that if they’d been there, her parents would still be alive. Oleander would never have let something happen to her family.

Still, that was a long time ago now. And she knew that her old home was in a terrible state. Somehow, though, it was worse than she thought and better.

It was still standing for starters. That was good. But several windows were smashed and a few doors were nearly fallen off the hinges. Partially rotted wood creaked ominously under her feet as she walked onto the porch. It smelled of the woods and the lake. Decay and new growth intertwined to overtake any lingering scent her family had left behind.

If she had to guess, the local wildlife tried to pilfer the home. It probably housed them during the winter too. But, for whatever reason, they were long gone now.

Huffing, Koala got to work taking apart the damaged sections. Taking notes on what needed to be replaced and what could be fixed with a few supplies. At the very least, the windows and doors needed to be fixed up. Glass wasn’t something she could make though, so she’d have to either scrounge up money or things to trade. Maybe a few traps for furs?

For now though, she boarded up the windows. It was better than nothing.

She worked for a week until her home was suitable for living again. Barely. She still needed to repair a few more things before moving onto making a new boat. Her father fished quite a bit to help the family get by when she was young alongside trapping. It would be… nice to pick that up again.

Still, after that she would be free to decorate her old home as she wished. She already had half a mind to expand the household for storing wood and drying out meats safely. She could hardly depend on someone to guard her spoils all the way out here after all.

After all that hard work, Koala had no issue falling asleep in her old bedroom, door propped into place until she could get new hinges.

Staying asleep was a different matter.

It started low. Her dream hazy like fog around her as the sound pierced the night, silencing the insects. A low coo, rising and falling alongside the wind rattling the brittle leaves of the forest. Mournful, almost. But sweet and longing.

It was so soothing and familiar that Koala had trouble opening her eyes. The sound merely growing louder and louder as her mind faded. Thoughts scattering like the water breaking on the lake’s shore.

There was danger.

She was safe.

So much danger. She needed to run.

She didn’t have any reason to get up.

Not when wet feet slapped onto the porch.

They’d be here soon.

Not when the wooden door ground against the floor as it was dragged open.

Run. Run. Runrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrun—

Koala only knew her door had been lifted out of the way by the scent of lake water wafting into her room.

Then the voice stopped. The air was dead and Koala gasped awake, eyes shooting open as she bolted awake.

The moonlight scattered over her floor at the tan feet of the stranger. They were tall and mostly bare with a soft frame. Dripping wet with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. Curly hair clinging to their face as they smiled. Practically beaming at her.

“K-Koala?” They asked softly, their voice warm and familiar.

Instantly, all her anxiety was gone.

“Ollie!” Koala jumped up, ignoring the fact that she was in her nightgown, and embraced her very wet friend. “Ollie, you’re here! You can walk?!” Koala laughed, noting the familiar musk beneath the scent of lake water. Vaguely smokey and spicy.

They carefully wrapped their arms around her, nuzzling into her hair.

“K-Koala, you came back~!” Oleander sang softly, their voice resonating with a soft allure that sent a shiver down her spine.

Toolatetoolatetoolatetoolate—

“I’m back.” Koala agreed happily. They’d grown a fair bit taller than she ever expected, but they were still the same Oleander she remembered. Even their face still held that soft, roundness she enjoyed teasing them with by squishing their cheeks in her palms. It was reassuring to see it, actually. She’d always worried that Oleander would have trouble finding food when they were away. But they’d always been a very good hunter in the water. “But how are you… standing?” Koala asked, pulling back to look up at them.

That was a bit new.

They flushed, laughing nervously. It was cute that they still stuttered despite swearing they’d grow out of it.

“It—it’s a skill we learn. I’m n-not very good at it—but I watched over your house! I-I was hoping you’d come back one d-day!” Oleander proclaimed with a bright smile even in the dim moonlight. “Here to st-stay?” they asked, still holding her close.

“Yeah. My apprenticeships took a while but now I can repair almost anything here and live on my own… I’m sorry I left, Ollie.” Koala whispered, pressing her head to their chest. They tugged her closer, her clothes growing damp from the contact. “I…I couldn’t stay.”

“It’s o-okay—you’re here now.” Oleander purred, petting her hair. “D-Did you miss me?”

“Yes.” Koala responded without meaning to.

Oleander clicked their tongue with a soft whistle like a dolphin. Tugging her nightdress.

“M-Missed you too… w-wanted to hold you close. Love you so much.” Oleander sighed and her heart thundered in her chest. She laughed nervously.

“Love you too, Ollie. You’re my best friend.”

Oleander huffed, pushing her back towards her bed.

“You’re my b-best everything. W-Want to show you. Can I show you?” Oleander hummed, the sound carrying in the small space. The night eerily still.

Too late—

Koala had loved Oleander since they were children. Watching them flit through the mucky shore of the lake spooking minnows to her delight. She’d always known they were different.

Always known they were dangerous.

She’d never really dreamed of being with anyone else, despite her parent’s desire to see her marry well.

“Oleander.” Koala spoke and they froze mid-stride instantly, looking down at her with wide, frightened eyes. She couldn’t help but smile despite her nerves. Still such a scared guppy… “What do you mean? Do you… do you mean like…” Koala asked but fumbled with her words, tongue dry and useless. Her hands twisting as she tried to figure out how to phrase it.

Gently, Oleander grabbed her wrist and pulled it lower. Slipping her palm between their thighs to the fabric of their covering. Pressing her hand over a distinctly warm, firm bulge. Her breath caught in her throat. Her fingers curled around the shape but struggled to properly grasp, the weight heavy in a way that made her stomach ache.

Oleander leaned down, still holding her hand over their cock. Lips brushing her ear.

“Let me show you?” Oleander purred, grinding against her palm. Her mouth was dry but the heat only grew between her own thighs.

“Y-Yes.” Koala stuttered for once and a hot tongue slipped up her neck. They moved slowly, fucking against her hand as they walked her back to her bed. Leaning her against the mattress as they kissed her bared skin. Fondling her nightdress with deep breaths against her skin. She ended up grabbing her blanket in tight fistfuls, embarrassed how quickly her panties grew damp enough to notice.

They settled their hands over her calves, encouraging her to scoot up the bed to make room. Hot palms gliding up her skin and brushing her nightdress up her thighs until they reached her panties. Oleander looked infatuated, panting openly like they wanted to take a bite of her thighs. Thumbs slipping into the crease between her thighs, running along the seam to lift away the crotch of her panties.

The fabric made a soft, wet pop against her cunt when they slipped their thumbs free.

“W-Wanted for so long—I shouldn’t keep you waiting~” Oleander purred, gently pulling down her panties as she wriggled to free herself of her nightgown. “W-Wish it was in the water, but it’s so cold right now for your pretty body. Summer.” They declared decisively.

Koala couldn’t help but imagine it. Floating in the lake with her arms around their shoulders. Tail curling around her thighs to hold her still, trailing into the water below to keep them afloat as she whined across the surface. Cock burning inside her—

Koala moaned, feeling Oleander rub their thumb over her wet clit in slow, teasing circles. Sliding between her thighs to position themselves properly, tip slipping against her cunt. They felt so big, their cock thick enough to brush her thighs with slow thrust. Parting her open with an air of inevitability that left her breathless. Oleander, sweet Oleander, towered over her. Eyes flickering between her face and body like they couldn’t decide which was the more appealing view.

“O-Ooolie~” Koala sighed, shuddering as she noticed they were humming, almost crooning. The sound vibrating her skin that was already becoming incredibly sensitive to every pant of air and brush of skin. They leaned down, letting their tongue drag up her chest in a slow, savoring motion. Flicking over her breast before deliberately blowing across the wet trail. “A-Ahhhhhn~!” Koala moaned, soaking their cock nestled against the opening of her cunt.

“Yesssssss~” There was a pressure against her quivering pussy, the tip of their cock grinding lightly inward. Teasing her open in slow rolls as their thumb kept circling her clit. Lips brushing her stiff nipples as the soft coo sank into her body. Koala gasped, jerking when they slipped in. Her body fixated on the hot stretch as the head teased her cunt.

Slipping in the barest amount before pulling away till they threatened to pop free. Each time coming back in a little more. Koala panted, gasping for air as she tried to squirm, but Oleander pinned her to the mattress with one hand. Leaving her legs to dig into the sheets. She arched as best as she could as she cried out, their cock digging into her walls and instantly making her collapse with another orgasm.

Words failed her as she stared up at Oleander with wide, teary eyes.

But they kept going like she wasn’t falling apart from just the tip. Grinning down at her while they drooled over her tits, kissing her damp skin soothingly. Hazily, Koala blamed that damn sound. There was no way she’d be so effected otherwise, no matter how thick their cock was.

And it was thick. Her walls aching with every quiver of movement around their girth that invaded and retreated in teasingly slow motions. The sound growing more prominent as Oleander collected more slick along their cock. And Koala was trapped between heaven and hell, creaming increasingly often as her awareness circled her cunt.

How wet she was making them. The way her cum dripping into the sheets down her ass and along her thighs. Smearing with every slow roll of their hips against hers.

How hot she was beneath them. Fire in her blood and aching cunt with every uncountable inch. And somehow their cock was just as hot in a way that was almost soothing if it wasn’t also the source of her torment.

How loud she was for them. Keening breathlessly with every orgasm. Whining with increasing incoherence as they grew closer to hilting. Crying and trembling beneath the rolling croon that seemed to be just loud enough to vibrate her skin.

And Oleander just seemed to be getting closer. Face pressing deeper into her breasts. Hips falling deeper into her thighs. Like they intended to smother her beneath them.

Feverishly, Koala remembered the promise about summer. Her overtaxed body trembling as she imagined being slowly, lovingly pressed into the muddy shore. Cool water would be a balm against her cunt as Oleander worked themselves deeper. Tip dragging against her walls until she wondered if they’d be able to fit at all.

And then Oleander stopped, lips brushing hers gently as they both panted. Koala in a state of shock as she realized why.

Their cock was hilted in her drooling cunt, spreading open her walls and pressing against her cervix. It felt wonderful, the vibration in her skin traveling deeper as they cooed into her lips. Her cunt shuddered and Oleander ground into her.

She wailed but her voice was caught by their tongue with a groan. Moaning louder than she ever did as something hot burst inside of her. Spilling out her aching cunt. But Oleander wasn’t idle.

They pulled out slowly, Koala crying out in denial as they kept moaning. Then, just as horrifically slowly, they pressed back in. Koala weeping as her cunt was pried back open. Cum squeezing out in thick, violent spurts as she came again.

“—Mmm—a-a-a-ahh~! Ah-ooooh~! Oh-O-Ollie-eeee~!” Koala screamed out when they pulled away from her lips, gasping for air desperately. She couldn’t discern anything but the euphoric vibration of Oleander’s lips against her skin and their cock slowly splitting her open.

Harder?

Faster?

Koala didn’t know.

Only that she might actually die if they didn’t stop—

She might die if they did.

“Stay~ Mine~” Oleander cooed, slipping their hand over her stomach as they hilted. The pressure making her wail as they admired the bulge where their tip pressed as deep as it could go. “Always.”

“YES! Y-YEESSS~ O-OLLIE—OOOooooh~! YES!” Koala screamed again, receiving a soft kiss as their tongue slipped in to muffle her cries. Crying openly as the hum traveled down her throat. Her skin burning hot despite Oleander doing their best to dampen the fire with a gentle roll of their hips.

It just wasn’t enough. Koala feared it never would be.

#one piece #one piece smut #shake date #exophilia #koala X OC #one piece yandere #yandere smut #yandere oc

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kojinnie · 3 years

Text

In the fifteen days of your absence

Pairing: Reader x Reiner Braun

Tags/Warning: deep angst in the end

Summary: Reiner wanted to leave you, but you chose to leave him first.

Word Count: 1.5K

A/N: Written half-drunk at 4 AM. Very unstructured piece that I wrote in a whim. Just me being overwhelmed with emotion. So please, bare with me.

There is a prolonged misery in the way Reiner Braun saw the world, in a rather apocalyptic outlook which made wariness became a permanent figure throughout the course of his life, he couldn't help but to incessantly ponder on his role in the world. Every day, every waking moment in his short, miserable life. Like it was an urgency that he had to find answer to immediately.

"What was I destined to be?" was the question he pondered every morning. He had grown to believe that everyone was made for single, destined role and he was on an never-ending quest to find his. You often thought, what was it that drove the man into the verge of such desperation to find an answer? "Doesn't that depend on what you choose to do every day?" you once asked, as the two of you laid naked on your bed. He didn't utter a word afterward, but he knew your answer-slash-question wasn’t up to his appetite for philosophical discourse. He just rolled over away from you and succumbed into silence until the next morning when he left your apartment without saying goodbye. Even in the path where he left, you could sense he left with utter disappointment towards you.

He didn't reach out to you after his shift. Nor did he send the customary good morning text that had grown to be habitual rather than a display of affection over the past three years you had been with him. You waited patiently until the night came, yet still there was no sign of him. That night, you slept anxiously, jolting out of drowsiness each time your phone buzzed, only to find that it was just a typhoon warning. You didn’t care, all you wanted to know was how Reiner was.

The next morning, out of fright of somewhat the expected disappointment, the first thing you did in the morning was shoving your phone underneath your pillow, as you got ready for work. You didn’t want to have your heart shattered by the non-existing message or missed calls from Reiner. That was the least you could do to refrain having an anxiety attack an hour away before your shift started.

At lunch, your Japanese bento tasted bland. And the words of your manager rung into your eardrums like a mere inconvenience. You had grown antsy by that point, and you had not checked your phone since the morning. You continued to torture yourself by putting your phone on Airplane Mode. You couldn’t bear having each minute neurotically checking your phone to see whether Reiner had texted your or not.

By the third day, you caved in. You finally operated your phone because you had to call your grocer for a weekly delivery. When things were okay, Reiner would come by and walk with you to the nearby deli. He would buy three bottles of his favorite ranch, one that he would store at your house, one at his mum’s, and one for his own storage at home. But now that he was off the grid, you didn’t feel like leaving your apartment and opted for a delivery instead. The courier was grim, didn’t say thank you even after a rather generous tip. He was listening to Happy Days Are Here Again, the melodious tunes seeped through his headphone. What an odd irony, you thought to yourself as you closed the door on him.

There was a sickening anticipation as you waited for your phone to load, and when the homepage popped open you felt nausea looming as you found no sign of Reiner neither in your inbox nor your call log.

You had grown accustomed to the anxiety of being with Reiner. As if being nauseous, with your heart thumping all night, wondering his whereabout, is the default state that came with dating the man with those sorrowful eyes.

Reiner Braun. That man.

He had affinity for leaving in the quietest fashion, putting you in the dark over what went wrong. Beating yourself up for his departure. Sometimes it would be because of the little thing you said mindlessly, or the way Reiner felt like he had been treated by you in a way that he regarded as distasteful. But he never told you about it, he would just disappear into the thin air and let you succumbed into your own misery in the complete absence of him, until you came to your sense into what wrongdoing you might have committed.

Yet, despite knowing his playbook already, still you were the willing victim, “Reiner, I’m sorry. Please, forgive me.” Were the words he would be waiting from you.

“Do you love me still?” once Reiner asked, when the two of you were soaked underneath the summer rain because Reiner forgot to bring the umbrella although you had reminded him numerous times before stepping out of the apartment. You thought the question was a misfit given the circumstances, but he looked dead serious as he wiped his eyes from drips of the water that drenched the two of you.

“Yes. I do.” You said, to which he nodded with no smile.

For the longest time you wondered what did he mean by that? Until you realized too late, that he was so scared of being left, that his question was his desperate way to commit you into forgiving him after a small mistake he had done. Later, you were bed-ridden from the cold you got after being drenched for hours, and he asked you again, “Do you love me?” You had no other choice but to plant a deep kiss on his soft, thin lips as an answer. A display of forgiveness he was yearning for.

Reiner’s absence persisted like the growing pain he caused within you that was only becoming more gaping as days go by. When fifteen days had passed, your friends started to chirp, ‘Why don’t you just come to his house?’; ‘But you have tried calling him right?’. You couldn’t quite explain the strange way you understood Reiner, in silence, in certain distance, in mutual recognition of each other’s disdain.

You knew he had blocked your caller ID, and how should you tell your friends that you never went to his home more than once before? Because you could feel the palpable reluctance in him as once, years ago, you insisted to drive him home. “In certain distance, did our love find no resistance,” he once declared.

In resistance did our hearts bound with happenstance,

and in happenstance did we end in desistance.

Reiner. Reiner. Reiner. You thought of him relentlessly. Was it only a happenstance that you uttered the wrong choice of words as he asked for validation of his role in life? What was it that he wanted to hear from you anyway? Maybe: ‘You are destined for something big, Reiner.’ Did the happenstance finally led him to desist from further effort in loving you?

The thought persisted when you walked down the street that night, out for a beer on your own. As you passed through the lonely buildings of your neighborhood, the reminiscing of his form made your thoughts murky, as you crossed the avenue in scurry, with your gaze that had gone blurry.

You couldn’t make out of it, but a very loud noise suddenly deafened your ear and you could feel your body tossed into the air and fell into a hard surface. You could feel nothing as you slipped into the abyss of nothingness. Was it the sound of Reiner calling for you finally?

“Do you love me?” you heard a voice. A deep, sad voice coming from a mouth of a man with sorrowful eyes.

“Yes, I do.” you answered. But still he asked, “Do you love me?”

And he asked again, “Do you love me?” and again, and again, no matter how much you have answered, “Yes, I do, Reiner. Yes, I do.” still he asked the same thing, “Do you love me?”

You didn’t know where you were, you could hardly see the man that you had loved with your demure heart, despite the desolation of his heart. You could only hear his voice, calling out for you like you wished he had been in those fifteen days of his absence.

“Reiner,” someone said, a kindly voice of mature wisdom. She sounded a lot like your mum, “let her go.”

“I can’t,” he refused, his voice broke in despair, “not until she answers me.”

“Baby, do you love me? Do you love me?”

You shouted with all your might, “I do, Reiner! I do!”

Yet he heard no words. He held you close in his cradle, yet still he knew you were slipping away. Underneath the bright lights of an ER did your body lay cold. Reiner had came late after he was told, “She got hit by an eight-wheeler,” a colleague told him over the phone. Even then, Reiner knew he had lost you, but still he wished for the last chance to make amend. It was true he contemplated to leave you, but never did he expect he’d be given no second chance to atone.

In his cradle, you finally went away. Underneath his tears, your face drenched once again. In the agonizing realization did Reiner find himself, drowned in his regret on how he had chosen to spend the last fifteen days he would ever have with you.

#reiner braun #reiner x reader #reiner angst #attack on titan reiner #aot reiner #snk reiner #attack on titan fanfiction #reiner braun angst

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laceymorganwrites · 4 years

Text

Callous heart

Word count: 1,749

Pairing: Kitsune!Suna x Human!reader

Warnings: swearing

Summary: Suna watches you from afar, wanting nothing more than to protect you. He decides it´s better to do it from a distance.

You live in a village where foxes are worshiped, Suna, being one of those, hates the fact that his kind aren´t what you make them out to be.

A/N: "At war with the world, yet worlds apart To return is a promise I can't make You see, we together have The Callous Heart Because Callous Hearts don't break." - Creeper, Black Rain (it just fits so well, I had to share it)

Taglist: @wansseul @newfriendjen @varia-venus @luvsuna

Event masterlist

In the small village you grew up in, people believed in fox deities.

They made offerings to them in the form of crops and overall parts of the harvest in hopes to be guided to heaven after they died.

Foxes were worshiped in your area, it was the only thing that kept the villagers going in their secluded life.

Travelers who came through your village always were interested to hear about the legends.

Your family was always so nice and welcoming to everyone, their warmth and kindness passing down onto you.

A lot of elderly people settled down in your village as well as it was so peaceful.

The appearing of foxes wasn´t uncommon whatsoever, they were as much inhabitants as humans.

Maybe that´s why they were worshiped. In mythology they usually were looked down upon as tricksters who only meant trouble, but because you were living together in peace, you came to the belief that they were giving you their good will.

Thus the fascination for foxes was born. You couldn´t help but notice how cunning and elegant they were, how perceptive.

Sometimes the foxes got injured and you´d treat them, having your own little clinic and shop for travelers where you sold salves and ointments.

The day your parents passed, the foxes guided them to the afterlife.

However, the way you saw the foxes and the way they truly were, were two different things.

They were supposed to guide people to hell, easing their way to sin, tempting them and bringing them to ruin.

That was their sole purpose.

And Suna fucking hated it.

It was way too much work every single damn time.

Besides, why should he bring someone to ruin who helped him out his entire life? Who healed his wounds and watched over him?

Because Suna refused to do his work for the devil, he got exiled from his pack, now living in your village with other foxes like him.

You were his favorite human though, you didn´t seem to judge, your kindness and smile were infectious and most importantly you had that warm and comforting aura around you.

Suna often wondered what it would be like to show himself to you in his true form, but he never dared, not wanting to scare you.

The demon foxes looked human enough, but then again, there were the ears and the nine tails.

Yet, he didn´t really have any other choice.

Every full moon, he needed to change into his original form because otherwise he´d be stuck as a fox.

He wouldn´t really mind it that much, but it was such a bother not to follow this routine he had for the past century.

Besides, somehow he felt as if something bad would happen if he didn´t change back on this fateful night.

Suna went into the woods to transform, it was a peaceful and quiet night. The villagers celebrated the full moon with a big campfire and food.

It always was a nice get together in which everyone exchanged stories, most of the travelers came through on the full moon as well.

Other demon foxes would die for the opportunity to wreak havoc and chaos here, to manipulate the minds of the humans and then lead them into hell, but Suna wouldn´t let that happen.

Not over his dead body.

You lived in this village and he´d rather let himself get tortured in hell than to sell you out like that.

Him and his friends protected your village with their magic, it drained them a bit, but it was worth it.

You´ve always been so kind to them, you didn´t deserve a forced death.

All Suna wanted was for you to be able to live your life the way you wanted to, to its fullest, without any cruel interruptions, without any ill intended temptations.

Suna was too caught up in his thoughts, he didn´t even notice you approaching.

To be fair, you didn´t quite notice him in the woodwork, too busy carrying firewood for the festival.

Only when you were gone, did he let out the breath he was holding and finished his transformation.

Though, he concealed his ears and tails.

It was stupid and reckless, but this time Suna was the one being tempted, tempted for a false sense of humanity.

He made his way through the woods, following your trail to find his way to the campfire.

Everyone was preparing and working with each other, you and some others prepared the fire while the rest carried logs to sit on and tables to put the food and drinks on.

The laughter and chatting could be heard throughout the forest even, it brought a smile to Suna´s lips.

Why could anyone want to destroy all that happiness? What did you ever do to deserve that?

You caught Suna´s eyes and walked over to him, greeting him with a big smile.

“You must be a traveler, I haven´t seen you before” you started talking to him in a friendly tone and Suna felt touched to his core, nobody ever treated him like an equal.

Yet he still felt bad for fooling you. Maybe one day he´d have the courage to reveal himself to you.

He nodded in response, affirming your statement.

“How long do you plan on staying? Or are you just coming through? Either way, you´ve come at the perfect time, we´re having a festival for the full moon. Please join us” you told him, grabbing his hand to lead him towards the campfire.

Suna´s eyes went wide. You just… touched him… why did that make him feel so warm inside?

He followed you and sat down on one of the logs after you told him so. To be honest, he felt a bit out of place, not being used to being part of anything.

But he enjoyed it. He felt welcome.

Though it was quite unusual and Suna had trouble fitting in, he felt at ease.

He felt at ease doing what he always did, watching over you, making sure nobody would come between you and your happiness.

Listening to the stories the elders told him about the legends and all, he found himself smiling to himself.

Oh how wrong they were. But he couldn´t tell them, he couldn´t bring himself to.

“Isn´t it beautiful?” you sat down next to him, looking up at the sky, now painted golden with the fire.

Your eyes were sparking with excitement and it was infectious, Suna found himself nodding along to everything you said, listening to you thoroughly.

“You´re not one to talk, are you?” you giggled, making the faintest blush appear on his cheeks.

“Talking´s too much of a bother” he admitted, Suna preferred to stay to himself, besides, talking only meant sharing things about himself and honestly, that could be dangerous.

“But how am I gonna get to know you if you don´t talk?” you asked curiously, lightly tapping his shoulder.

There it was again, that curious, sunny smile that just made him melt.

He shouldn´t be here.

It wasn´t right, it wasn´t his place.

“You shouldn´t get to know me” and yet, he couldn´t stop himself, enjoying your presence way too much to let it go.

“You do know that that´s only gonna make me want to know you more” you giggled.

Suna sighed, looking into your eyes the first time and getting lost.

“Come on, tell me something about yourself, stranger” you teased, you were quite persistent and Suna realized in this moment that he made a huge mistake.

He should´ve never interfered with you, never shown himself to you.

You´d only get hurt that way. Hurt because of him.

But it was too late, Suna got carried away, protecting you and watching you from afar.

Catching feelings for a human… how pathetic.

How was he supposed to help it, though? You made it too easy.

“Suna… that´s my name” he said quietly before it was too late.

What did he even try here? He shouldn´t talk to you, he shouldn´t tell you anything about himself…

If he did, he´d fall even more for you, be more vulnerable. He´d want to show himself to you more and that couldn´t happen.

If it did, he´d have to tell you the truth about him, his kind.

He never wanted to hurt you like that, he wanted you to live a peaceful life without demon foxes interfering.

“I´m (Y/N), it´s nice to meet you!” you smiled and shook his hand, making him chuckle slightly.

You were so formal, yet so excited at the same time, it made him happy.

“So, Suna, what brings you here?” you asked, watching him stare off into the distance.

He thought about that for a while, deciding to tell the truth, it was too late anyway, he already revealed too much.

“I wanted to get away from my family. They´re very… violent in the way they think. I´m a disappointment to them because I don´t want to participate in their ways. I just needed to get away” he confessed.

You gently placed a hand on Suna´s arm for comfort.

“I´m sorry you had to go through that, but you´re always welcome here” you let him know and the worst thing was that you meant it. You were actually willing to let a demon reside in your village.

Suna realized that he wasn´t any better than the rest of his kind, he was fooling you just as much, bringing just as much ruin upon you.

“You have a good soul, (Y/N). Please never change” he stated, his pain emitting from the words as he patted your head as a gesture of goodbye.

Suna shouldn´t interfere with your life. He didn´t have any right to.

Instead he just enjoyed the evening with you until he went back into the woods, strengthening the protecting spell once again before returning to hell.

It wasn´t in the same state as it was when he left. The new ruler was much more kind than the last one, welcoming him back and offering him to bring souls in the way he wanted to.

Suna felt at peace.

Sure, he had decided to leave you alone, not giving you the chance to get to know him in fears of hurting you, but he´d still be able to lead you to the afterlife when your time came.

Somehow that made him happy, happy to be reunited with you at some point, to be able to explain and apologize.

#haikyuu #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu scenario #haikyuu suna #halloween event #suna rintaro #suna x reader #suna imagine #suna oneshot #suna scenario #hq #hq imagine #hq oneshot #hq scenario #hq suna

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sylvie-writes · 4 years

Text

Darling

a/n: So this was originally gonna be part of a series on wattpad, but I can’t log into my account (ahhhh) anyway I had some writing in the drafts (I’ve lost all of them now), but the only one I could get was this b/c I wrote this on Docs. Sorry for rambling about my personal problems, anyhoo enjoy!

Warnings: Ransom being Ransom, Sickness, any grammar mistakes and repetitious wording.

It was around 11:00 AM. Harlan had been working diligently to finish a few chapters. He let you leave to go help Ransom, after all it was part of your job. Harlan worked on writing while making small conversation with Marta. Although you were his assistant and typist, Marta was the one who took care of him while you took care of his things. You bid goodbye to Harlan and Marta before leaving the huge estate.

Pulling into Ransom's driveway you knew he was there, only guessing what hell he'd put you through today. The spoiled brat sat at the island counter, waiting for you.

"You’re late." He stated matter of factly.

You scoffed, he didn't own you. "I was working with Harlan if you couldn't remember." Walking towards the island you grabbed one of the many pans and cracked a few eggs into a bowl. It was your job to be at his beck and call basically. Ransom just sat there watching, being of no help, like usual.

"Omelette?" You looked up into his tired blue eyes. Ransom just shook his head.

The pan was on the stovetop, heating up, as the eggs were being scrambled by you. Harlan had treated you and Marta to an early breakfast this morning at a nearby brunch restaurant. The pancakes were amazing and by far the best ones you had ever eaten.

Once the pan was properly heated, you poured in the eggs along with some herbs, shaking the pan till the eggs set. When the omelette was finally cooked, you set it on a plate, folding it. You had assumed Ransom would want cheese, so you dropped some shredded cheese on top. Turning around, you grabbed a glass from the cabinet, then walked to the fridge to pour Ransom a glass of some fresh orange juice you bought the other day. You and Marta had gone to a local farmer's market to get some things for Harlan when you saw the orange juice and remembered how much Ransom had whined for it. Pushing the plate towards him, you walked around the island and stood behind his chair, placing the glass in front of him.

"It's cold and dry." He opened his mouth, but not to thank you. So many times you had gone out of your way for him and always thought about him, yet he never once thanked you. Treating you like you were the help. No you weren't, you were a person with feelings that obviously weren't respected.

This morning had been a bad one. You woke up a little stuffy and had a huge headache. Not wanting to worry, you just brushed it off as allergies. Harlan had noticed you weren't feeling like yourself, because as you typed, you struggled to focus, impending headache making it impossible. Harlan, being a considerate boss, told you to stop and take it easy, but you were stubborn, insisting you were fine.

You could normally take Ransom's shit but this was the last straw.

"Could you ever just thank me once?" The headache that was growing was not helping the situation. He just looked up at you. At this point you were crying from the pain in your body and his bullshit. Your arms were flying around as you talked.

"You know Ransom, could you ever be nice to me? Just once! Maybe even appreciate all the things I do for you? I'm trying to help you even when I feel like shit!" Now you stormed out, going up stairs to clean his room. Another one of your chores.

Ransom's bedroom was a mess. Clothes strewn everywhere, between his sweaters and the random feminine clothing laid on the floor, his room was a pigsty. In his closet was a laundry hamper that he seemed to miss every time. You grabbed the hamper and rolled it out of the closet. Lifting the lid, you threw all the clothes inside, including the ones that were once laid around the basket. It was infuriating that this 30 year old man's room was messier than a five year old's. While throwing the clothes in, you were so lost in your thoughts and the growing headache, that you didn't even notice Ransom staring at you from the doorway.

For once he wasn't smirking, but instead his face showed... concern and remorse? You stripped the bed of its sheets and he walked over, his brows furrowed, looking down on you. For a split second, you stopped working and looked back up at him, it looked as if there were two of him, things kinda blurry. You hadn't noticed before, but it seemed to be getting hotter in the room. Just shrugging it off, you continued working, Ransom still standing there. The sheets and comforter were on the floor and you were now throwing the pillowcases in the hamper. As you did so, the lid slammed on your hand. "Shit!" Some would call it reflex but he'd call it instinct, Ransom grabbed your hand and gently kissed the back of it. "Darling, you need to sit down. Your cheeks are flushed and you look weak." In his voice there were no ill intentions. Hugh Ransom Drysdale being kind, to you? Yeah, you were definitely sick.

When you didn't sit down, Ransom then pressed his wrist to your forehead. "You are burning up." You were still in shock. He had never been this nice to someone. Just minutes ago he was a complete jerk, just for his own entertainment. You didn't budge, at all. Maybe this was all a sick joke, maybe he was going to be an ass and leave you there for dead, but instead Ransom swooped you up, earning a slight gasp from yourself. He set you down in the chair beside the bed, putting up his finger, signaling you to stay put. He rushed out and into the hallway. Minutes later he came back with new sheets, and you expected that he was going to make you do it, but nope. It was a sight, Ransom Drysdale actually making his bed. He set up the pillows and pulled down the covers. You tried your best to focus on what he was doing, but the raging fever didn't really allow you too. Before you knew it, Ransom was standing in front of you, hands out. You placed your hands in his and he helped you up, putting you in his bed. Fevers are the worst, for one, never in a thousand years would you let Ransom Drysdale put you in his bed, let alone take care of you. In other circumstances you would have gone home, but you were way too sick to drive.

'I must have died and this is heaven.' The statement almost felt true. You were just laying there, in Ransom's bed. Sick, and helpless.

Ransom had gone to the bathroom to grab a thermometer. A few months ago you had bought a mercury thermometer for his house after a visit from a little thing called bronchitis. The dumb ass had gone that night to the country club with his snobby and condescending friends. Later he came home with some giggly blonde. As they made out, the girl quickly pulled away from his lips and coughed madly, but then resumed, reassuring him it was just a slight cough. A total lie, because that slight cough, was more than just a cough. Yeah, it was a frickin' infection, and guess who got it too? Ransom. And guess who had to care for him? You.

Your fever-induced daydreaming was over. Ransom came back with the small stick in hand. You willingly opened your mouth, attempting to keep your heavy eyelids open. Setting a fifteen minute timer on his phone, leaving it beside you on the nightstand.

"(y/n), darling, you are dehydrated. I'll be right back."

This was so weird. Ransom had always called you 'Darling'. At first it was to irritate you, then it gradually changed to an occasional pet name, but now, now he used it with no ill intentions.

Your voice was raspy, words barely able to be understood. "Ran, it's very hot in here." The heat was your body trying to fight off the fever. Barely minutes ago you complained about being cold, but now you were a sweating mess. "Here, try this." Ransom got up out of the chair and went into his closet. In the corner you had stacked the folded clothes of the many one night standees. He's never going to see any of those girls again, so you just left them there as a reminder of his recklessness. Ransom grabbed the pair of blush colored dolphin shorts and the white camisole that had lace on the top and bottom of it. The rest of the clothes weren't made for lounging at all. It looked like it would fit you and he walked out of the closet, sitting back down beside you.

"I hope these work for you." Ransom gently laid down the clothes in your lap. All you wanted to do was sleep, and that was what you had been doing for the time being. Earlier, you could tell Ransom was uncomfortable in his chair, but he didn't want to leave you. It was...

It was sweet. It was endearing. It made Ransom genuinely charming...

Upon waking up from your mini nap, you saw the clothes laid in your lap. With all your might, you pushed your arms, trying to sit up. The fever had made you so weak, it felt like your whole body was aching.

Ransom noticed your struggling and came over to help you sit up.

"Thank you, Ransom, these will fit fine." You tried your best to give him a smile, after all this wasn't the usual Ransom Drysdale. He returned the gesture, now sitting on the edge of the bed.

"You don't care about this sicky thing?"

In all honesty, you weren't sure if the words had properly come out of your mouth. After all, it sounded correct in your mind, but your brain was all flustered from the new found debility, messing up your speech. What you were really trying to say was, "You aren't scared of catching this thing from me?" Ransom just sweetly smiled. He knew you were trying so hard to fight the sickness, but your words still dragged on. Each one lacing over the next. Luckily, he knew what you were trying to say.

"Of course not, you were here for me, now it's my turn to care for you, darling."

There he goes again, 'darling', gets you every time.

"I think we have a problem."

His eyes shot wide, with more concern.

"Too weak." You pointed towards the clothes, your eyes drooping slightly. Ransom got off the side of the bed and wrapped his arms around your waist. He gently pulled you up. Once you were standing, he held you by the waist, your legs feeling like jelly, wobbling slightly. Ransom had one hand on your waist to keep you stable as the other one grabbed the clothes.

"May I?" It was almost sheepishly. Hugh Ransom Drysdale, nervously asked if he could remove a girl's clothing. Normally the smug son of a bitch would just rip it off any other woman, but he had an ounce of respect for you in his body, surprising.

If you were in the right state of mind, you'd never let him, but it was hot and you were tired of your jeans and your wool top. Combined with the heat your body was emitting, it was like someone had turned the thermostat to the setting of hell. It was either the heat or your dignity, and at this point you'd rather not be any more miserable than you are.

"Please." Ransom nodded at your agreement and helped you remove your wool top. He tried to keep your modesty intact, looking at your face as he changed your top instead of staring at your chest. It did tempt him, but he wanted to treat you right. He may not have a good track record with women, but he wanted to change that with you. The same with your pants. He made you sit on the bed as he pulled down your jeans, still trying to be considerate. He too knew very well that if you weren't sick you'd never agree to this.

Finally your shorts and top were on. But your cheeks were still flushed, sweat still on your skin. Ransom had brought up another Gatorade not too long ago, trying to keep you hydrated.

"I'm still hot." You laid on top of the cool sheets now, the ceiling fan running too. Your words weren't meant to be demanding, more of, asking for help.

If this were just anybody, Ransom would be pissed for such a great deal of complaining, but he understood that you were sick and you just wanted relief. Believe it or not, but Ransom hated to see you suffer. Yeah, I know, hard to believe.

You had a hair tie on your wrist and Ransom lightly picked up your hand to grab it. He brushed the sweaty hairs off of your forehead and tenderly moved your heavy limbs. His warm hands rested on your bare shoulders as he turned you ever the slightest.

Ransom then pulled your hair into a ponytail, placing a delicate kiss on the top of your head. He didn't want to overstep and instead went with the sweet and tender kiss, not one full of lust and passion. After all, you were sick, and he didn't want to take advantage of you. Again, surprising.

Well, it was only surprising because the man was such a player. If one were to look up the man on any news website. His name would be right there in bold, probably beside a picture of him and some random girl. Maybe it was possible for Hugh Ransom Drysdale to have a change of heart and attitude.

You weren't sure if you were hallucinating or just feeling things, but you did feel something on your head, and it felt like a kiss. It would be a lie to say you didn't find Ransom attractive. You may have been harboring a small crush, before, even when he was an asshole to you, however, after today when he showed his soft side, your crush grew three times larger. Like the Grinch's heart. Come to think of it, Ransom was basically the grinch. His heart had grown in size, in a matter of hours. Just hours ago he was being a complete pain in the ass to you.

It was getting darker now. From all the naps you had taken, one might've thought it was the next day if it were not for the date on your cell phone. Apparently sleep when you are sick feels like hours when it was only minutes.

Your phone had gone off, a special ringtone you knew all too well. It was Harlan, he needed your help finishing typing up the chapter he had just completed.

"Could you please get that?" You threw your arm, weakly pointing to the phone. Ransom checked and it was Harlan, setting the phone back down.

"Please call him." At this point you couldn't talk anymore, barely able to think of the next word to leave your mouth. Ransom was smart and put the pieces together. He called Harlan and gave him your notice. Harlan in return wishing you a fast recovery. Surprisingly, Harlan wasn’t shocked when Ransom answered the phone. He always wanted you two to be together anyway. You were the girl Ransom needed.

By now, it was 6:00 PM. You had been in bed for over a little more than four hours. Ransom had been in that same chair for the last four hours, occasionally readjusting, clear discomfort on his face. He'd leave every so often to get you a drink or some Ibuprofen to keep your fever down. Your body still hadn't really adjusted and it was still hotter than you would have liked, although the cold drinks and cooler outfit did help.

Sometimes when you'd come over to help Ransom, you'd make him dinner, if not he'd go eat out with his friends at the country club. Just to be a pain in the ass, he would drag you along at times. Tonight was different, Ransom knew you'd weren't that hungry, another effect of the fever, so he cooked you some good old fashioned chicken soup. The same one you had cooked when he was sick. He wasn't sure at the time if it was the illness-induced delirium or not, but that soup seemed to make him feel better.

At the time, you had left the recipe on a small stick note, your beautiful handwriting as you had inscribed the recipe. It was another well kept secret that Ransom Drysdale could cook.

He came back up around 6:30 with a cold glass of your favorite soda and the soup on a wooden serving tray that could sit in the bed. He lightly tapped you, waking you from your 50th nap. Lifting your head off the pillow, you sat up, glancing down at the delicious food in front. It was like he knew. You weren't starving nor were you full, this seemed to be in between and perfect. He sat back down in the chair, after turning the ceiling fan up a notch, knowing the soup would warm you up again. It pained him seeing your frail hand shaking as you fed yourself. The glass was so heavy for your aching hand that Ransom kindly picked it up for you, allowing you to drink from the straw he had included.

After he put away your food once you had finished, he came back up. This time you were awake. As you slept before, he had been on his phone, texting friends and cancelling plans for the night, but now he had nothing to do. You were awake and had noticed his discomfort once again.

"Ransom this is your bed too." With all the strength you had left, you patted his side of the bed and he slowly walked over, as if you were going to change your mind. With nothing to do, Ransom asked if you wanted to watch a movie and you both agreed on a classic movie. Another terrible thing to come out of your sickness, was that your ears were clogged. You could still hear but not as well and when you laughed it made your head rattle. Ransom was glad to see you finally smile amidst your rough day. He would love to see you like that all the time.

The movie was halfway finished and you had fallen asleep. Your body trying to catch up on rest from working to fight the invading illness. At some point you had fallen asleep on his chest, his steady heart beat lulling you to sleep and he slowly ran his fingers through your somewhat damp hair. He too fell asleep. His hand softly laid on your head since he had fallen asleep while stroking your hair.

At the ungodly hour of 2:00 AM you woke up. It was hot once again, you were now sweating. Ransom had been giving you the proper dosage of ibuprofen, making sure to not miss a single time slot. It had helped relieve the fever because now you were sweating and starting to break your fever. Ransom felt you stirring and woke up.

"What is wrong?" He turned on the lamp so he could look at you.

"The fever. It's breaking." The second time you had smiled today and it made Ransom's world.

Ransom removed the sheet not wanting to make you hot and he sat up, as did you. After some cold sweats you felt your body return to a somewhat normal temperature. Ransom leaned across you to get the thermometer he had laid on the nightstand and stuck it in your mouth after shaking up the mercury. He set the timer for fifteen minutes and you leaned back on his chest and he once again kissed your head. This time you knew you weren't delusional.

The quiet timer had gone off and Ransom removed the thermometer from your mouth. He leaned towards the night lamp trying to read the small numbers. 98.4, close enough. He placed it back down and turned off the night lamp.

"It's great, darling, your fever broke." He wrapped his arm around your shoulders as you once again leaned on his broad chest. You smiled, not only because your fever was gone, but because Ransom could be so caring.

"We should get some more rest." You nodded and he slowly ran his large hand up and down your arm. The both of you scooted out of your sitting positions and into sleeping ones. You were on your side when you felt Ransom's arm drape across your waist. He knew you'd push it off if you didn't want it. Hell, you wouldn't even be in his bed still if you didn't feel the same way. He had no clue that he could care about you so much, and honestly neither could you.

"Just give him a chance." You thought to yourself.

The next morning you woke up around 10:00 AM. You weren't sure if Harlan was expecting you, so you rushed to get up, Ransom's arms stopping you.

"He said you didn't have to meet him till the afternoon of the day you were ready to go back." Ransom's face was laid into the pillow as he mumbled the sentence out. He had every right to be tired, after all, he cared for you over a matter of at least six hours straight. Also something he hadn't done before.

"Well I will surprise him and meet him today." You jokingly replied to the man. Ransom didn't argue, he knew very well that you were devoted to your job.

You didn't have any clothes over at his house and your ones from last night were covered in your germs and sweat. Thank goodness for the ones from Ransom's one night stands. You went into the same corner he had grabbed your sleepwear from. Luckily some undergarments and a pair of black leggings along with a peach chiffon top some girl or girls had left behind. When you first met Harlan, you wore office attire, now Harlan didn't care as long as you showed up. He knew you were dedicated to your job and trusted you with his everything.

Ransom's shower was huge. His toiletries lined up on the tile shelf inside the shower. In the closet, fresh, fluffy, cotton towels, two of which you grabbed. One for your hair and one for your body. Under the sink, you found a few travel size bottles of vanilla shampoo and conditioner. Not sure who is once belonged to, you still used it, Ransom wouldn't care. The only body wash was his and it smelt like mint. A smell that was so intoxicating. The relaxing shower felt as if you had washed away all the germs, stepping out a new person. You continued getting ready for your day and walked out of the bathroom to find no Ransom. He still played that little game and left the bed unmade, which you pulled off the sheets and put with the other dirty ones when you noticed they were gone. Instead they sat neatly folded and cleaned on the chair where he was once sitting. Ransom Drysdale had done his own laundry? What else did he have up his sleeves?

As you walked down the steps and through the sitting room, you could smell food being cooked. There was Ransom pulling a breakfast casserole out of the oven. The laundry basket you had in your hands, was set down on the floor as you walked closer to him. He heard you put down the basket and turned around smiling.

"Darling, you didn't have to do that. I was gonna get it." He pointed to the laundry basket. 'Oh so he wasn't playing a game with you?'

"I made a breakfast casserole, I thought I'd try something new. I hope you like it." And boy did you like it.

Ransom Drysdale had cooked an amazing breakfast.

"Who are you and where did you take Ransom Drysdale?" Ransom simply laughed and took away your dishes. He was doing dishes too?!!? At this point he was basically doing all the daily things Harlan had hired you to do. He was actually capable of living! You checked your watch and it was 12:15.

Ransom had set down the dishes momentarily and walked you to the door.

"See you later?" He almost sounded worried like you'd run away. You just smiled up at him, nodding, and hoping this would never end.

"Thank you." It was all real. Ransom Drysdale had a change of attitude in a short span of a couple of days. He even had a heart, one that cared for you. After finishing your sentence, you stood on your tippy toes, kissing his cheek, sweetly and slowly. Turning on your heel to leave and go meet Harlan.

Oh if only you saw the effect you had on Ransom and how flustered he was...

#ransom drysdale imagine #ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale x you #chris evans

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hermits-that-craft · 4 years

Text

Forgetting and Leaving - Part Two

Welcome to part two of Forgetting and Leaving.

Once again I am recommending people go to @target-block for more information about Ray’s Stuck Au.

Daisy looks up at Rose, yawning as they make their way to the end. The world has been glitching recently, and Orchid nearly died when Daisy transformed, the transformation causing some lag that made everything nearly stop. Orchid clearly didn't want to leave this world, and Daisy doesn't blame him, the world certainly has something that the two men recognise, though its as though they are seeing it through a pane of fogged glass - nothing is clear.

Rose doesn't recognise anything, although they do bring it up with him. He recognises how the world works, knowing things that they shouldn't know about the update, but the buildings don't make sense to him like they do to Daisy and Orchid. Orchid swears on his life that he knows the mansion that they hid in, but he can't remember any of the rooms. A robotic voice calls Orchid Impulse, and calls Daisy Ren. Neither of them don't recognise the names.

They walk over to the end portal, Daisy leading the group as a second nature. Rose shakes nervously as they stand on the edge of the portal, and Orchid pats his back. Daisy pushes them in before jumping in himself, something sad tugging at his soul, longing for a few more minutes. He doesn't understand it.

They land on an obsidian platform, and Rose leads them towards the centre of the main island. He turns around, tugging on the white sleeve of his jacket and smiling nervously. There's no wind in the End but Rose's blonde hair still sways in the breeze.

"Ready to go?"

---

Iskall lands, his inventory filled with shulker boxes of wood. He is ready to get started on his mega base - a giant tree with a large canopy, larger than life and bigger than all of the jungle trees around him. It's safer to think about building then about his friends. Not just the missing ones - Iskall doesn't trust himself to think about Mumbo or Stress without breaking down. He's gone a week without a breakdown, the longest since -

No, don't think. Build.

Iskall places blocks, planned and timed and he's so tired, he wants a break but to let his mind wander is to break his streak. He doesn't think, he just builds. He doesn't even notice it when his axe breaks, nor does he notice Stress as she visits with some logs she had spare. No, Iskall just works. He doesn't think. He just builds. He hardly notices his elytra creeping dangerously towards breaking. He doesn't think. He doesn't notice it as he uses up shulker box and shulker box of wood. He just builds.

He notices his elytra breaking.

Iskall falls towards the jungle canopy, a scream ripping from his throat. His eyes wide open. The world doesn't slow like people claim it would. He doesn't watch, outside of his body, as he crashes onto the grass.

Iskall wakes up in his bed, his heart races as he finally lets himself cry.

---

Evil Xisuma has been alone, stuck in season 5, for too long. It's painful, thinking of the hermits, but he lets himself stay in Xisuma's base. It's alright, he thinks to himself, it's alright that the hermits left him behind. He's safe here, at least. It's better than the void, cold and empty and falling with no end. He's safe here.

But Impulse, Grian and Ren aren't.

They shouldn't be here, but as Evil Xisuma watches them walk through the shopping district he realises that Ren and Impulse are just as lost and confused as Grian is. They shouldn't be - they built the shops they stop outside of. The ones that they look longer at, spend more time asking about who built it. It confuses Evil Xisuma.

He could stay and watch them, but he can’t let them walk around as though they have no idea what they are doing. It’s risky, though. The risks outweigh the benefits, but he can’t stand to watch them anymore. Evil Xisuma glides down behind them, landing on the ground with a precision that only someone who’s mastered the elytra can claim. He doesn’t land silently, however, and the three men spin around, Impulse pushing the other two behind him. Funny, Evil Xisuma thinks, he can’t be better at fighting then Ren.

“Woah, I’m not here to fight.” Evil Xisuma raises his hands in surrender as Impulse raises an iron sword to his throat. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Oh, is this your world?” Grian asks, and Evil Xisuma frowns at him. “I’m sorry if it is, the last world we were in was corrupted and I has to-”

“Hermitcraft is corrupted?” Evil Xisuma gasps, looking at them. “Is Xisuma alright?”

“Who’s Xisuma?” Impulse asks him, and there's no hint of sarcasm in his voice.

“What’s a hermitcraft?”

“It must have been the world we were last on.”

“Of course it is, Grian. Hermitcraft season six, or is it season seven now? Xisuma hasn’t been telling me anything.” Evil Xisuma grumbles to himself.

“My name isn’t Grian.” Grian says blankly. “I’m Rose.”

---

Scar flies out of the jungle, careful to avoid the areas that he knows have been built in. He and Doc have agreed to meet away from the hermits, to both protect the hermits from what they want to do and to make sure that they aren’t caught. Again. To make sure that they aren’t caught again.

Scar lands in the mining mesa, watching the nether portal as a figure begins to appear in it’s frame. Doc walks out of the portal, some quartz in his hands. Scar can hardly contain his excitement to see the man, and he pulls Doc into a hug. The two men don’t hear the nether portal update, someone coming through the portal. No, they don’t notice anyone else in the area until it’s too late.

“Well, I don’t mean to break this up,” Xisuma says. “But, next time, I’d suggest having your secret liaisons in places where the rest of us don’t go.”

Doc and Scar jump away from each other, trying to make it seem as though they hadn’t planned on meeting here, but Xisuma just sighs, disappointment as sadness in his eyes.

“I had to contact Stress and Bdubs. You two know you aren’t allowed to meet up without supervision- Is that quartz Doc?” Xisuma’s voice begins to shake, anger and fear mixing together. Doc tries to hide it behind his back, stammering out excuses, but Xisuma practically flies over to Doc, grabbing his wrists. “Are you insane?”

“It isn’t what it looks like-”

“That’s a weak excuse, Doc, and you know it. Doc, you can’t be serious. A time machine?”

“I had just mined some, Xisuma, I swear!” Doc’s isn’t lying, per say. He did just mine some of the quartz, but not all of it. They had been planning this for weeks. Doc and Scar have to find the hippies - it’s their fault that they went missing in the first place. Area 77’s fault.

“Scar, tell me truthfully - Did Doc just mine that quartz?” Xisuma growls, not removing his hands from Doc’s wrists. Scar stands straighter, his back ridgid.

But they had planned for this as well.

“He did, Xisuma. Please, we only planned to meet here so we could talk without people examining our every word.” The lie falls out of Scar’s mouth, practiced to perfection. He walks towards Xisuma, his hand falling on the man’s shoulder. “Please, X. We’re tired of people trying to psychoanalyze everything we say.”

“You called us X?” Stress’ voice is tired, barely containing a yawn. She and Bdubs walk through the portal before they gasp, looking at the scene in front of them, only lit up by the nether portal and the moon.

“Oh, Doc.” Bdubs’ voice is quiet, sad. “C’mon, lets get you home. We’ll talk about this in the morning.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong.” Doc growls. “Just because-”

“He and Scar were going to rebuild the time machine.” Xisuma says, letting go of Doc’s wrists. Stress gasps again, turning to Scar with hurt in her face, and Scar feels shame well up in his throat. “Scar can’t lie well, it was obviously rehearsed.”

“We’ll keep a closer eye on them.” Stress promises, taking Scar’s hand and dragging him towards the nether portal. “Don’t worry, Xisuma. We won’t let them do anything stupid.”

---

Orchid doesn’t trust the man, who only introduces himself as E-X, though he reluctantly lets the man follow them around. The name Impulse pushes around his head, confusing and frustrating him. It feels familiar, as familiar as all of the builds they pass do, but he can’t place it anywhere. A brother, a doppleganger, a clone, a twin, a coincidence. None of those explain why Ex seems so sad by them.

They arrive on a mycelium island, split down the middle by different shades of concrete. Daisy immediately walks towards a large orange and black concrete building, mumbling something about supplies in the Nether Drive, though neither Rose nor Orchid can work out what he means by that.

They follow him anyways, Orchid keeping a close watch on Ex out of the corner of his eyes. There’s something about him that's familiar, just like this world, that unsettles him. Hopefully he will tell Orchid why he is familiar to him.

“What happened?” Ex asks quietly to him as Daisy and Rose disappear into the building. “Why don’t you remember here?”

“Ex, I have no idea what you mean.” Orchid says, gripping his iron sword tightly.

“I-” Ex cuts himself off. “I’m worried for you, Impulse.”

“Orchid.”

“Orchid,” Ex nods. “Please, what’s your earliest memory. I swear, if it’s something normal I’ll drop this subject.”

Orchid frowns, thinking back onto the moment when the watcher cursed them, though that’s not his earliest memory. His earliest memory is comforting, a warm blanket wrapped around his shoulders, soup in his hands as he sits by a fire, his mother telling ghost stories while his father laughs. When he tells Ex that, the man sighs, taking his helmet off.

“I’m going to head off back to my bro- my base. I’ll be back in the morning. Meet you guys here?”

“I’ll ask Rose and Daisy about it.” Orchid replies, waving goodbye to the strange man.

He walks into the storage unit before he pauses, frowning at the room. It’s bright in here, not at all like the calming rustic builds that Rose had been making for them. Orchid walks into the middle of the room, where a water elevator waits patiently for him. He enters it, slowly traveling up.

He finds Rose and Daisy on the top floor, beds set up on the floor. Rose looks up as he steps out of the water elevator, a towel in his hand. Orchid gladly takes the towel, yawning as he pats himself dry. Daisy hands him so old looking potatoes, shrugging an apology.

“If they make us sick I’ll take full responsibility.” Daisy smiles at him. “Where’d our friend go?”

“He went to his base. Must be desperate to sleep, when he took his helmet off he looked like Rose when we don’t force him to go to bed.” Orchid smirks, nudging the man.

“Oh come on!” Rose complains. “I’m going to bed, I didn’t come here to be made fun of.”

“Aw, Rose you know I didn’t mean it!” Orchid laughs, and Rose throws a pillow at him. He misses, hitting Daisy in the face. Orchid devolves into giggles, laughing at the shocked look on Daisy’s face.

“Oh it is on my dudes.” Daisy says, picking up the two pillows the are now on his bed. “Give up, I have the higher ground!”

“Never!” Orchid yells, hitting Daisy with his own pillow. Daisy drops a pillow in surprise, and Rose quickly snatches it off the ground.

They fight for a while, ducking and slamming each other with the pillows. Feathers fly and laughter roars through the abandoned islands. Orchid kicks Daisy’s legs and Rose jumps on the man, his pillow perfectly positioned to hit Daisy’s face.

“Rose why, you were supposed to be my brother!”

“Long live the king!” Rose giggles, hitting Daisy in the face. Orchid takes the opportunity to hit Rose across the back of the head and they restart the round, this time Rose and Daisy against Orchid.

115 notes · View notes

little-red-toyota · 3 years

Text

Final good bye to the fandom

TW//Trauma, triggers, nsfw, sexual themes, rape, domestic abuse e.g.

This is gonna be a long ass post…

It has taken me a while to get emotionally strong enough to do this, as I will have to think back at some traumatic events from my past to address some of these things. That's why I waited until I got home from vacation with my family, as it will seriously affect my mood and mental health, and I want to be near my doctor and therapist, just in case.

And also, I know that the majority of those reading this will invalidate me and tell me I am making things up to clear my name. So, I literally have to torment myself to write a blog post people will just brush off as bogus anyway. But I will do it now that I am in safe surroundings. Then it will be off my chest, and I can finally move on. If people will continue stirring up the past, it will be their problem, not mine.

I think I should write one last blog post where I address everything. I have left the TTTE-fandom, but I will write that one as my final goodbye to the fandom. I just have to find out everything I've been accused of so I can properly address them all in order. I might leave out details of my life that is too hard for me to open up about. I know most of you will just invalidate me anyway.

1. The Stepney fic and glorifying rape.

2. My mafia-AU.

3. The Darin incident.

4. Being a pedophile. (Where do they get this from anyway??)

5. Running the NSFW-blog.

6. Drawing penises/boobs on trains. Drawing age-regression art.

Is there more?

Ah... yes! Faking my own suicide, of course!

7. "Faking" being suicidal.

8. Having the audacity to survive and go on living.

9. "Making up" my past trauma to justify writing fics to cope with it.

10. Being a nazi for being interested in WW2 history and for being Norwegian and having so-called nazi-letters in my last name (actual letters of the Norwegian alphabet).

11. Putting a white-supremacist flag (the actual flag of Norway) on my porch on family birthdays and our national day.

12. Being a danger to my daughter.

Anything else that needs to be addressed? What else am I being accused of? Send me a dm and I will add it to the post.

Okay, I will bump the Stepney fic down a bit as it is the most traumatic thing for me to address, I will save that one for last.

2 and 3. The dark au/mafia au where I gave some TTTE characters some rather dark and unpleasant character traits, and the whole incident with Darin and the pedo-Salty was addressed in this blog post written by my husband last year, so I am not opening that can of worms again: https://little-red-toyota.tumblr.com/post/623743183795470336/in-light-of-recent-events

Even the thing about Toby cheating on Henrietta is addressed there.

As for the au, I never fully explored it as I started losing interest in TTTE around the same time. I found other things to enjoy and TTTE faded into the background and the au was dropped before I even wrote any stories, apart from the one about Toby and Henrietta.

Some people claim, like this lovely individual, that most of the characters were rapists and pedos. No, not most. Only one of each. And I did not write more than one story about rape and suicide. Where does this person even get that from? Someone who told someone who had heard from someone who might have heard….?

Don't spread rumors unless you are sure that they are true.

Anyway, it's all addressed in that blog post in that link. I don't see how this mafia au is any worse than other dark post-apocalyptic or violent aus. It mostly was about the diesel mafia and their illegal businesses, not about sex, even if it did occur now and then. I find the substance abuse in it to be more problematic tbh…

4. Being a pedophile.

I don't even know how to defend myself against this one, as I don't even know why people think I am pedophile. They only throw the accusation out with no backing evidence, so I have no idea where it comes from or what it is that makes people think I am one.

Apart from one claim that I had faved "porn" alongside "strangers'" baby photos on DA. I addressed that earlier though. As DeviantArt doesn't sort what you click "like" on, it all ends up in the same folder unless you actively go through it and sort it into categories, which I don't bother most of the time. It also doesn't say WHEN it was added to your faves. So, I can have faved an artistic nude on Saturday, and then faved my friend's family photo on Thursday. It's not like I actively search for porn, get all steamed up and then look at pictures of children. WTF.

The few children I have faved are not from complete strangers, but long-term friends of mine. Yes, it is possible to have friends on the same website. I have actually met a lot of my RL friends through DeviantArt. I posted photos of my daughter when she was a baby, they would fave it and congratulate me. So, I did the same when they had a baby. As simple as that. Nothing weird or perverted about it. Due to people doxxing me last year however, I deleted the photos of me, my husband and my daughter from DeviantArt, so it's no longer there.

Porn isn't allowed on DeviantArt anyway. The nudes there are so-called artistic nudes, and for the most part I use them as pose-references when I draw as it is easier to draw a pose using a nude base and then dress them up once you got the pose right.

"The very naked" centaurs I have faved. Well, I like the mythological creature Centaur. And as far as I know… they do not wear clothes, so how are they NOT nude? Look it up, it's a horse body with a human torso instead of horse head. I don't see them as sexual, but what do I know? Maybe YOU do?

I have no sexual interest in children whatsoever.

5. Running the NSFW-blog on Tumblr and Twitter.

Yes. I was one of six people modding that blog. ONE of six, so I refuse to take the full blame here.

MerciResolution has openly admitted to being the founder, and she recruited me and some others to modify as the confession load became too heavy for one person to handle alone.

The original blog on Tumblr worked as follows: People would anonymously send a confession to our askbox, we would add a picture (sometimes photoshopped) to the text and post it on the blog. Always tagged as NSFW and with proper trigger warnings if necessary! The blog itself was also marked as explicit, so it didn't appear in searches and such.

For us, this blog was nothing but a joke. We did it for shits and giggles. If anyone took it seriously and thought we got off to the stuff that was posted, we apologize for that, but to us it was just for laughs. And we DID laugh a lot, you guys should have seen the weird shit people sent us sometimes!

We had fun and we never thought anyone would take it seriously, so we never thought of writing "joke" in the description or anything. It never occurred to us that it could be anything but a joke.

We also made a Twitter account for it, also locked for minors. But it was quickly hacked, and someone changed the password so we could no longer access it. We made another account and forgot about the old one…

After a while, the original mods started losing interest and the blog (both on Tumblr and Twitter) became less active. That's when a person I had known for years, and wrongfully trusted, came forward and wanted to take over ownership. So, the ownership was handed over to Russalita/Charlie.

That turned out to be huge mistake!

Me and the other mods had more or less forgotten that the blogs existed, when suddenly someone started bashing me and getting up in my arms over it. I got seriously confused as I hadn't been active on it in almost a year. But as it turned out, Russalita had removed the mature filters and made the accounts open for all the see. Even minors.

And as people knew I was one of the mods, they fired their guns at me. I can see why though, so I'm not pointing any fingers here.

I tried contacting her by phone, asking her to lock the accounts again, but she gave me a less than polite response, hung up and then blocked my number…

So, I decided to try to shut the blogs down on my own, trying the old passwords. It worked on the Tumblr-account, and I managed to password protect it, for some reason it couldn't be fully deleted. But the Twitter account had gotten its password changed by Russalita. I was however able to get a new password by logging into the e-mail we had used to create it. I deleted the Twitter blog fully. It can't be re-activated even if we wanted to. It's gone.

But it turns out the old, hacked one is still up and now open for everyone. And this one poses a huge problem as we have no way of getting into it to delete it. Only thing we have been able to do so far is reporting it and hope it will be removed by Twitter. So I only have one thing to say about it: report it.

I am no longer running any NSFW TTTE blog anywhere, nor do I have interest in doing so. So, if you come across one, claiming to be me or any of the other mods, it is false.

6. Drawing penises/boobs on trains. Drawing age-regression art.

People seem to believe I have drawn genitals on trains. I have never done such. Any art on the NSFW-blog with genitalia on the trains were sent in by confessors and was not drawn by me. Most of them seems to have been drawn by someone who goes by the name "The Lance".

I HAVE drawn things for the NSFW blog, but there were no genitalia in those drawings. I drew Frank of Arlesdale looking grossed out by (I don't know what the part is named in English, but it is connected to the brakes of the engine) that stick-like thing on his bufferbeam being wet from whatever the confessor did to him. I drew an over-exaggerated comical pic of a horrified Peter Sam getting his face licked by his driver, who had an enormous tongue. I also did a couple of manips. Mostly maniping engine faces on humans, like the one where Gordon's face is on a less than fit guy flailing his shirt around, and the Arlesdale smallies' faces on a movie poster from Magic Mike. One with Mr.Conductor in a giant bun while Pinchy is applying ketchup on him, for a confession about eating him, I think? I've done some more, but I forgot what it was, I only know I loved making them comical rather than erotic, as I saw the blog as a joke overall.

I HAVE also drawn aheago faces on engines because it looks hilarious. Though I have only drawn them on my OCs and the NRS engines, not TTTE characters.

Point is I have never drawn genitalia on trains. Ever. And I likely never will. It's not THAT much fun drawing NSFW stuff.

I see from this screenshot that a certain MK-Instrumentalist claim that all my personal art is age-regression art and infantilism…

Whose art have you been looking at? Because it's definitely not mine. I have drawn a couple of baby/chibi diesels… But claiming that all of my 700 or so artworks are depicting infantilism and age-regression stuff? I suggest people go have a look for themselves. I haven't drawn that. That MK-guy has been desperately trying to cancel me for ages for reasons only himself know. I don't even know the guy, and he doesn't know me, yet he wants to see me beheaded. Go figure.

I was for a long time bothered by some age-regressor on Tumblr who just wouldn't leave me alone with their weird asks, who tried to force themselves on me and some other artists here. They claim age-regression isn't a fetish, but the shit they sent to my askbox certainly looked like a fetish to me.

I don't want anything to do with that stuff. It weirds me out.

And no. I have never drawn pedophilia or rape art either. This guy can't even make up his mind on which one to accuse me of.

7 and 8. Faking suicide and having the audacity to survive and go on living.

As many know, after the intense shitstorm against me last summer, thanks to Darin, I attempted suicide. I didn't succeed as my husband came home early. I was gone for a few days but returned when a young boy reached out to me for help as he was being groomed and didn't know who else to turn to.

Recently I saw a screenshot where someone claimed me to have faked suicide, and that I just came back after a few days when everything had died down.

Wow.

I am truly sorry I survived.

I don't remember much from those days to be honest, but as the load became too heavy and the bullying too intense, piling up on 30 years of old trauma… I decided to end it. I must warn you guys who might get triggered now; there are detailed descriptions of a suicide attempt. Proceed with caution. People told me I was a bad mother among other things, having had those same thoughts myself (according to my husband, I am a good mom) and people just confirming them, I thought that my daughter would be better off growing up without me. I could have chosen a more effective suicide method, but I was afraid my daughter would be the first to find me, so I wanted it to be clean and look like I was just sleeping. That way it could be explained as natural causes.

So, I decided to overdose on pills. I downed all pills I could find in the house that had a warning triangle on it (strong pain meds etc.) and then went to my computer to delete my online existence, especially the personal data.

As a former paramedic, I should have known better. Because after half an hour, my body started reacting. But not the way I had hoped and wanted. I started retching and almost vomiting. That's when my husband came home from work and found me. He immediately saw the empty packages and knowing my past suicidal tendencies, he reacted instinctively. He put his fingers down my throat and had me puke everything up, then he called an ambulance and had me admitted to the hospital.

I don't remember anything from the days I spent there. But I have been told they emptied my stomach and gave me lots of fluids. I was then assigned a psychiatrist which I am still seeing today.

I was gone for those days because I was in hospital, not because I was pulling some kind of trick and pretending to have ended myself.

So… I am sorry I "faked" my suicide.

I'm sorry my husband saved me. I am sorry the medics and doctors succeeded in saving my life.

I am sorry I survived and proceeded to live on. If I ever make another attempt, I promise to do better.

Why are you guys so persistent in trying to push people to suicide anyway? Do you get a kick out of it? Why do people have to be pushed to that point before you care?

What did we tell our daughter? Simply that I got sick and had to go to the hospital. She took that well.

I've seen a lot of people wonder why I am still around. Why shouldn't I? Does my daughter deserve to lose her mother over some online crap she doesn't even know about? I owe her to live and watch her grow up, to help her with her homework and whatever else a parent needs to do. I also owe my husband to stay by his side, like I promised him the day we got married. Even if I do not wish to live.

I'm sorry I survived, guys. Really, I am.

9. "Making up" my past trauma to justify writing fics to cope with it. And 1. The Stepney fic and glorifying rape.

First… why would anyone make up trauma? It's not like it's a competition to have the worst life, is it?

Sadly, I don't have to make up anything. My life HAS been rocky up until the birth of my daughter. I have been through so much trauma I couldn't even fathom it myself before my therapist listed it all up to me. Until then, I had just been casually talking to her about it, like I would talk about the weather. I didn't cry or get in touch with my emotions even once while telling everything, because I was taught from an early age to never complain, to suck it up and go on. So, no matter what people did to me, I would just smile and go on, even if it killed me inside. I did not want to show any sign of weakness, because then they would attack me. A habit I developed through years of being bullied in school. Never show feelings, just pretend nothing could hurt you, then they would eventually grow tired of it and stop.

Except they never did. They kept going through all my years at school. To such an extent, my boyfriend didn't dare to show himself hanging out with me out of fear of being bullied himself… And as we grew older, he would start cheating on me too. And I kept smiling…

My next boyfriend was a bit older than me, and while that didn't bother me, as we were both well over legal age, it bothered him. We only lasted one year before he bailed out and ditched me out of the blue via an sms.

The next guy… was the one who scarred me for life. Both physically and mentally. A charmer at first of course, until I was trapped. He was unemployed, so he moved in with me, and I paid for everything from food to phone bills. All while he was dating several women behind my back, calling various pay-phone services and in general acted like a manwhore. As I worked as an electrician (also being subject to massive bullying and sexual harassment at work), he would be jealous of all my co-workers and if I ever came home late or worked overtime, he accused me of cheating and was extremely violent about it. He would also isolate me from my friends and family, making me think I couldn't get any other than him. If any of my male friends (almost all my friends are male…) came over, he would give me such hell afterwards, it was easier just to tell them it was a bad time to visit. And after a while, they stopped asking. This guy also demanded sex. Every single day. If I refused, he would punish me, mostly by flogging me with lampcords, belts or whatever else he had at hand. My back is a criss cross map of old, faded scars even now nearly 20 years later. I would have shown you a photo, but I am so self-concious about my body after all the bullying, I hardly even show my face in photos. Maybe one day… but I certainly need more therapy before being able to show naked skin to strangers, even if it's just my back. So I had non-consensual sex with him more often than consensual. It has taken me hours in therapy to even take the word in my mouth and call it by its proper name: rape. I was raped, almost every single day for little over a year, before I found the strength to break out of the relationship and finally throw him out of my house. It all ended when I found some revealing texts on his cellphone, which he was extremely protective of… Texts that revealed that he had engaged in a relationship with a 12 year old girl, and it had been going on for a while. Not only was he cheating on me, but he was a pedophile too. Needless to say, I didn't even let him pack his stuff before I fetched my shotgun and chased him out of the house. I don't know where I got the courage and strength from… but I was furious.

I thought I had gotten rid of him, but no. He started stalking me in public. Hiding behind shelves when I was shopping, his car following mine everywhere I went. I received weird letters in the mail with cut-out letters from newspapers, glued together. On top of all, his creepy, old uncle called me with some rather disgusting suggestions and tried to come on to me really hard. I had to change my phone number, and after coming home to my house and finding out someone had entered my home using a key, only to empty the drawer of my night table, I also had to change the locks of my doors as he had clearly copied the key.

He didn't stop until I got the police involved.

So, when I finally met the guy who would become my husband (or rather, we found out we were made for each other, we had known each other since we were 11 years old), I had major trust issues towards men especially and it took him endless patience and love to break me out of that shell.

But the trauma doesn't stop… or start there.

In the year 2000, on January 4th, I would experience something that made me unable to even look at a train for over 10 years. The Åsta accident (google it). I was a volunteer in the Norwegian Red Cross then, and a paramedic in training. Back then, you were allowed to start training the year you would turn 16. So, I was still 15 when I witnessed the most traumatic event of my life. The day started out calm, we were stocking up the ambulance after delivering a patient to the hospital when we got a call with the code "500", which means "catastrophe". Normally when we get that code it is a rehearsal… so we drove towards the coordinates with the thoughts that this was just an exercise, nothing real… we didn't prepare ourselves mentally… And we ended up in the closest thing to hell I have ever been… The sight of the burning trains, the smells, the sounds, the screaming… I still wake up by nightmares to this day. Though the moment that haunts me the most is when the screaming stopped… because we all knew why… I don't want to go into details, but 19 people died that day. But we also saved 67 people. I try to hold on to that thought. The age limit for starting paramedic training was raised after this, as I wasn't the only one who was too young for an accident of that scale. Today it is 18. A memorial stone has been placed on the site, but I still haven't been able to bring myself to visit it, even if we drive past the site every year on our way to visit family further north in the country. I needed hours of therapy to even be able to ride a train after this. To have gotten to the point where I now volunteer at a heritage railway and is in training to become a driver, is a HUGE step for me. My next goal is to visit the site of the accident.

On to next trauma… A previous employer, a rather large electric company in Norway, whom I worked for 8 years. The first five years were great, we were a close-knit bunch of electricians, and we had a great relationship with the bosses and higher-ups. Our labor union was strong.

It all started changing in 2009 when we got new leaders… and those decided to get rid of everyone who were a member of the union. One by one, they started harassing workers in various ways, trying to get them to quit. In Norway, they need a legal reason to fire you, it's not enough to not like someone. There has to be a good reason to fire someone e.g. theft, neglecting work… Since they didn't have any reasons to fire us, they started making our work lives gradually harder and harder until we would break and find another job. Sadly, one of my co-workers couldn't stand the pressure… He bid us all farewell as normal one Friday and hung himself the following day.. But as I was a girl in a male-dominated profession, I had been taught at an early stage to ignore anything that would hurt me emotionally, just arch my neck and plow through. I kept doing that, despite starting to feel more and more mental and physical pains… even my co-workers pointed out how I was being mistreated before I acknowledged it myself. I tried to tell my boss, but he reacted by treating me worse. So, I went to his boss… and that's when things went to hell. Instead of doing his job and listen, he started harassing me too. He deemed my over-weight a problem, and he started demanding I gave him detailed lists of what I ate and how much I worked out… Completely illegal of course, but by this point I was broken down to the point I thought I was useless and couldn't get another job… so I accepted. He started accusing me of lying about my exercise, so I started training at the gym in the basement at work instead. One day, while I was there, he locked the doors and turned the lights off. There were no windows, no cellphone reception and hardly anyone walking by in that part of the building… I sat there in the pitch dark for 3 hours before I was let back out. I still get badly triggered by narrow, dark rooms and rooms with no windows. To such an extent, I jumped out of a small window on the second floor of a gym when I was in boot camp. I was allowed to train downstairs in the bigger gym with windows on all walls after that incident…

The harassment at work went on for years until I finally snapped, ended up at the hospital and got into therapy for the first time. I don't want to go into depth about what more happened, I just can't… I can't bring myself to write it all. Luckily, I had gotten more education while working, so when I graduated, another company called and gave me an offer I just couldn't refuse. So, I quit my job and never looked back, even if the traumas I suffered there still haunts me to this day.

Sadly, even after switching jobs, now getting a safe job with sane leaders… I started to relax, and that's when all my past trauma came washing over me. And one day, on while driving to work, I had my first serious panic attack. It started as this feeling I used to have at the old company; getting sick to my stomach and having the sense of someone being out to get me… then it developed to breathing problems… and I had to pull the car over. I broke into tears, struggling to breathe, stumbling out of the car to read the logo on its side just to reassure my body and brain that I worked for a different company now and there was no reason for panic. I called my boss and let him know, because he also was a "refugee" from that other company, so he knew what me and several others had gone through. He managed to talk me down enough for me to come to the office to talk to him. That helped.

I got back into therapy. A better therapist this time. But sadly, it got apparent that I could no longer work as an electrician as there was too many triggers. I was diagnosed with PTSD, severe depression, and social anxiety. I'm still working on these and get better slowly.

I have been in therapy for a long time now, and it was my therapist that suggested I wrote fics to cope and "write it out". I tried to make up my own characters for this, but never felt any connection. I was by this time in the TTTE fandom and had met people with similar trauma and pasts like myself, and I started roleplaying with some of them. Me and a girl from UK then agreed to try to rp/co-write a fic to cope with our trauma. We both found it easier to write about pre-established characters we had a connection to, even if it was an au that made it barely recognizable from the original source material. Only the names and some minor things were similar.

That fic was Stepney's Virginity Gets Lost.

Do we regret writing it? No. It helped us write out our traumas and helped us overcome some mental obstacles in out therapy process. Our therapists cheering us on, because we finally managed to break through the hard shell surrounding us. We both cried for the first time in years while writing it, some of it through roleplay, because some parts were extremely graphic and brutal and very mentally exhausting. We had to take long breaks between each writing session, so the fic wasn't written in just a weekend. But we got a lot of darkness out of our minds by writing all this. And we were definitely NOT aroused by it, like this pervert here claims.

It's when you dare to touch and feel the difficult and dark emotions, you can finally move along in the grieving process.

Should it have been posted online?

In retrospect, no. But at the time, we thought it might help other trauma victims, as we also found reading about other people's experiences and fictions touching painful subjects helpful to ourselves. So, we posted it, never expecting it to cause such a controversy 3 years later. In fact, we had more or less forgotten about it until it came back to bit us in the ass. Or rather, bite ME in the ass, as I am getting the full blame alone.

Also, despite what people claim, it was not posted openly for children to read. It was tagged properly and hidden behind mature content walls. If a minor chooses to break that wall, that's not the author's fault. It's the same as watching a movie with an age restriction way above your age, not the filmmaker's fault.

I think MerciResolution puts it nicely here:

"If your problem lies with you KNOWINGLY entering adult spaces when you’re a minor, ignoring all mature warnings that are literally SCREAMING at you “hey, this is what you’re getting into. Are you sure you want to proceed?”

That’s ENTIRELY on you. YOU are the fucking problem.

We’re marking mature things as best as we properly can. If you decide to ignore them, that’s your own damn fault. We’re not your fucking babysitters."

Also, I never posted the story on Wattpad, so if anyone has done that, it's not me. I posted the story on Fanfiction.net, DeviantArt and AO3, that's all. If it's posted anywhere else, it's not done by me.

I had honestly moved on from it when people pulled me back into it.

Other people who have done questionable shit in that fandom are easily forgiven because "they have moved on" or "changed". Yet, nobody believes I can move on or change…?

I had moved on; my interests had changed. But people won't let me, so here I am… Having to defend some crap I did years ago. A fic I no longer have any interest in.

I'm not even interested in TTTE anymore. I have moved on with my own book project now and I would like to focus on that.

So, deleting my TTTE content, whether it was the SFW or NSFW stuff, didn't cost me a penny. It actually felt like a relief. The only downside with it is that people now can't read it and make up their own opinion about it, but will solely believe in what others say, and those things are often seriously bent out of shape and blown out of proportions to such an extent it's barely recognizable.

If people claim that Arry and Bert rape Stepney in the fic, they have never seen it or read it. That's not what happens. That's just an assumption made by looking at the title and knowing there is a rape/torture scene in it. But I'm not gonna tell who the victim is or who performed it, because this is the only way I am able to tell who has actually read the fic or not, who is just trying to spread bullshit and who is actually telling the truth. The person in that screenshot, has no idea what he's talking about.

Does SVGL romanticize rape and abuse?

No, not in the least. It's described as the horrible, heinous acts it is and is in no way meant to be cute or romantic and definitely NOT something anyone should get off to. If anyone finds it sexy, that's their problem, not the authors'. If anything, SVGL might romanticize suicide, because one of the characters isn't able to cope with his trauma and chooses to end their life. Which is something I considered doing myself when I was in the darkest pit of depression. So, I apologize for maybe romanticizing suicide. The following chapters describe how friends and family handle the loss and grief.

It also describes a toxic relationship, where one of the parts struggles to get out of it. They eventually manage to break free, but it is not easy. This can easily be translated to my previously mentioned relationship, as it was my way of writing out my experience about how hard it is to break out of a relation when your partner has broken you down to the point where you no longer believe in yourself and your self-worth.

The last chapters start to gradually become brighter, as both our lives started getting better too. But we never really wrote the end because we both lost interest in writing TTTE content by that time and just left it hanging.

I'm not the only one who has written NSFW TTTE fanfics out there. But it seems like violence and murder is more acceptable than sexual things? I do wonder how brutally mutilating children's show characters are more tolerable than sexually abusing them. Neither should be okay.

Some content creators hide behind "it was a joke". I have been told that such topics that SVGL touches upon shouldn't be joked about… so I didn't do that, and yet it was wrong? So how should such topics be treated? Be hidden like it's a shame, like in the old days when rape victims were told to suck things up and keep it to themselves? When those subject to abuse didn't dare to speak up because people would judge them?

I think it is important to talk about these subjects and why they are so problematic. Victims shouldn't have to hide their trauma; they should be allowed to talk openly about it without fearing judgement.

Some of you claim that writing isn't a good way to cope… You're trying to dictate how trauma victims deal with their trauma, and that's a dangerous path to walk down. Nobody handles trauma the same way. You might have your thoughts on how you would react, but you'll never know until trauma hits you… and you might not react the way you had expected or planned. Trauma messes with your head and you won't be able to think clearly. It makes you do thinks you normally wouldn't have done and can make you act out of character. So, do not judge people without having been in the same situation yourself. Ever.

Someone wrote that I have "more problems that just a rape".

Read that again.

Just a rape.

This person does not know how damaging a rape can be. And if you made it this far in this post, you know I didn't only go through one, but several. Not just by my ex, but also being ambushed while I was walking home from a party, and later; a co-worker forcing himself onto me at a building site. I can't go into depth about them all, I just can't.

Just a rape…

"Just" the feeling of not being in control of your own body and your own decisions. "Just" being robbed off your dignity and self-worth. "Just" having someone intrude into your private zone, tear your clothes off and claim your body against your will. "Just" feeling how your life force leave you as you realize that fighting against it won't help you, and you silently give up and just lay down waiting for it all to be over. "Just" spending hours in the shower, scrubbing your skin until you bleed because you can't wash the filth away and you keep feeling dirty no matter how much you clean yourself. "Just" waking up at night, after having relived the scene again in a nightmare. "Just" looking over your shoulder wherever you walk because you heard something or thought you saw something or simply because someone is walking behind you. "Just" the fact that you'll never feel comfortable walking alone at night again or have someone walk behind you. "Just" never being able to relax because your body constantly think you're in grave danger. "Just" a rape…

That's such a neck-beard thing to say. Someone who clearly think of other people's bodies as property or things. Not taking into consideration that we are living, breathing individuals with feelings. And that having another person violate us isn't something we like or that we'll easily get over. We want to choose who we give ourselves to, nobody should be forced. We didn't ask to be raped. We didn't want it. We didn't like it.

Rape is trauma.

Yes, we should have chosen other characters for the story, but we did what we did, and it cannot be undone now. So, if the only thing I will be remembered for in the fandom is that ONE fic, instead of all my other content, that's what it will be. That's what people chose to. I'm moving on.

10. Being a nazi for being interested in WW2 history and for being Norwegian and having so-called nazi-letters in my last name (actual letters of the Norwegian alphabet).

*sigh*

This is something that could only happen in America, isn't it?

Some people don't bother educating themselves. The "nazi-letters" you guys are talking about is actually part of the Norwegian alphabet and has nothing to do with Nazism or white-supremacy to do at all. The Norwegian alphabet has 29 letters, the three extra is æ,ø,å or in capital letters: Æ,Ø,Å.

We can't help it if some morons over in the US abuse these letters as symbol of their twisted mindset.

Yes, my name contains one of those letters. It is my name… and I didn't choose it. It is a common Norwegian name.

As for me being a Nazi?

Those who knows me knows that I am as far from a Nazi as one can get. I despise Nazism with all my heart.

But the reason some people choose to believe so… was that some guy who has no hobbies or life went through every single fave I've made on DeviantArt since I joined the site in 2006, which is well over 20000 faves. And he found a few Nazi-characters from a web series I was following about ten years ago. I am very interested in history and especially WW2-history, so I found that particular web-series interesting and faved some artwork related to it. What this guy failed to notice is that I also faved the Allied characters… That's ALL there is to that story.

I has also faved a pic someone made of Joseph Goebbels (I think it was?) as a Pixar Car. That's not because I have any nazi-sympathies, but I simply found the concept of turning historical persons, both good and bad, into Cars as an interesting project. I would have faved any other historical Carsified person as well.

As for me being a Norwegian and have a natural pale complexion, that's not something I can help. That's nothing I choose. And it doesn't make me racist or Nazi. Period.

11. Putting a white-supremacist flag (the actual flag of Norway) on my porch on family birthdays and our national day.

Again. Get educated.

This flag… is the actual flag of my country. The Kingdom of Norway.

There is nothing Nazi about it. It is not a symbol of white-supremacy. IT IS THE FLAG OF NORWAY.

During WW2 it was even illegal, so people would paint it everywhere in a protest against the Nazi-occpation and the SS. We even decorated our Christmas trees with it, and that is a tradition that has followed us into the modern day.

Again, if some idiots in the US choose to use it as a symbol for their disgusting logic, it is not Norway or the Norwegians' fault.

12. Being a danger to my daughter.

I need people to elaborate here.

What exactly do you think I do to my daughter? What is the cause of your concern here?

The fact that I have made NSFW content? How is that harmful to her as long as I keep it away from her? You DO realize that even authors, pornstars and moviemakers have children and that they can be good parents, right?

Do you think I read pornographic content for her as bedtime stories? Or show her porn instead of kids TV? How sick are you guys, really…?

Some people even wanted CPS to take my child away from me… Have a look at these screenshots…

You want a happy, healthy, innocent child to be taken away from a stable, safe home with loving parents just because you don't like the content the mother made? You want her to be placed in foster care, where there is no guarantee that she will have a happy upbringing rather than have her stay with her parents who love her and care for her, for reasons she'll never understand and wasn't even aware of?

"Think of the children!" a lot of you say when it comes to my content. May I ask why this doesn't apply to my daughter?

Why do some of you go as far as to wishing her dead or wanting her to be removed from the home she feels safe and loved in? How is that thinking of the children?

As for the douchebag in that screenshot. You claim that if your mother did something like that you would want nothing to do with her… I have a question: Do you know EVERYTHING your mother do? Does she include you in each aspect of her life? Even her sexual life? No?

How do you know she doesn't do thing you don't approve of when you're not around? She could be a rabid pornmag reader for all you know. But stuff like that is something adults hide from their kids. So, you wouldn't know, unless you go snooping around in her business.

Everyone is entitled to privacy. What I and my husband do when our kid is not around is our business, not hers, and certainly not yours.

Porn and parenting are to be kept separate from each other. Period.

And we do.

There is absolutely no reason to be worried about my daughter. She is a happy, healthy child in a safe, stable home with family that loves her and cares for her. Not just me and my husband, but also grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

If you want to remove her from that over a stupid fanfic behind a mature content wall, you're the deranged person, not me.

This is all I have to say about all this and my time in the TTTE fandom. I have left by my own, free will. Yes, I am aware that many people don't want me there. That's fine. I don't want to be there.

I am a bit disappointed in those people who just blindly unfollowed me and unfriended me without any questions asked, just followed the leader. Big users tend to dictate who and what is worth following in that fandom. They will even protect real predators, but I'm not going to open that can of worms now. I'm done with the fandom.

Some of those people, I have been talking to regularly, even supported when they faced hardships in the fandom themselves. But when I got in trouble, they ditched me without a word…

If anything, this whole ordeal showed me who to trust and not, and who were true to their word when it came to how deep our friendship was. True friends at least give you the chance to explain before they drop you. I hold no ill feelings to those who did, at least they asked me before judging.

And those who still stayed with me, are the ones who truly know me and who I really am.

Some of the worst libels posted about me might be reported to the police, but I haven't made up my mind yet. I am not mentally strong at the moment, so I don't know if I have the strength to legally follow it all up. I will ask the cops at work for advice on the matter.

All I ask for now is some peace.

You don't have to like me. You don't have to follow me. You don't have to like my content. Feel free to invalidate me, I know a lot of you will.

But please, stop bullying me and my family.

Please stop sending me horrid messages and death threats.

Please stop doxxing me and calling me.

Please leave my family alone. If you don't care about me, at least care about them.

Please just ignore me. I have already left the fandom, there is no reason to keep hunting me.

I just want to move on and go on with my life and the content I am currently working on. After years in therapy, my life has gotten better, and I want to move on.

Please let me.

#good bye to ttte #tw//suicide #tw//rape #tw// bullying #tw//depression #tw//ptsd #tw//ttte #tw//sex #tw//abuse #tw//domestic abuse #I'm done

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apenapaperandadoofus · 4 years

Note

Can you do MC rejecting Seven's proposal because she loves Jumin (after all he does on the Secret Endings who could blame her?) So no photo? How would that reunion go?

Oop more angst >_<

I’ve realized I really like writing this sort of stuff pfttt

For some reason I like making myself and other people sad, I’m sorry lmao, anyway I hope you enjoy it!

(This hurt so much to write btw I just love Seven so much T_T)

Also when you said no photo? It reminded me of the vine where the guy is like: so no head? 😡🤳🏻💥 🛹 💥

Anyway I’ll shut up now lmao, enjoy it.

Rejection (idk can’t write titles lmao, Seven x MC angst):

It was a beautiful night. Right now you were on a very beautiful mountain, looking up at the stars with Saeyoung.

That day he had dragged you to his car and brought you some place really far away. Saeran decided to stay at home so that you two could have some alone time. Saeyoung saw you feeling a bit down, so as he drove he made sure to crack as many jokes as he could, and to put on your favorite music.

But he didn’t notice if you felt better or not, since he kept one hand in his pocket, and every once in a while he would check that whatever he had was still there. He was pretty nervous.

You both arrived at this beautiful place at about 6pm, and you saw that there was a picnic laid out for the both of you. You smiled dryly, as Saeyoung helped sitting you down.

Everything looked beautiful. Saeyoung had prepared the picnic to be looking out to the whole city, and he had adorned some of the trees around with some cute lights. Around you were pictures, notes and things he had made for you. You took the album that was beside you and started going through it, while Saeyoung took some wine glasses and poured some Dr. Pepper in them.

“And here’s a glass to the most beautiful mademoiselle ever. One glass of Dr. Pepper and a bag of Honey Buddha Chips! Tonight we’re dining like royality!” He jokingly said, as he handed over the glass and bag of chips to you, and then he sat down beside you, looking up at the stars.

“Thanks...Saeyoung. Um...what’s the occasion? Did I miss something?” You asked.

Saeyoung laughed and took a sip from his glass, then he put a finger up to his lips. “It’s secret! You won’t find out until a bit later! For now please enjoy the view and eat to your hearts content!”

You ate very little. Saeyoung was happily chatting to you, but you weren’t listening to what he was saying. That was until you noticed he went quiet and that it had become quite dark, since the little lightbulbs he had hanging around suddenly were turned off, leaving you with only the light of the stars.

“Y/N. Actually, I...umm, I brought you here because...well. It’s just, you’ve changed my life. You made me realize so many things, you helped me find my brother, you helped me be happy again! I owe you so much. And well, now since everything is fine, the RFA is all together, and Saeran has recovered. I thought that now...it might be time to take it to the next step. Y/N. I love you so much. And I know that, we’ve been through so much, I know I can be a lot, but you’ve been with me the whole time. Which is why...I want to ask you....” Saeyoung got on one knee and looked at you, tears starting to form in his eyes and a big smile on his face.

“Y/N, you’re the love of my life. You’re my everything and I, I want to spend the rest of my days with you. Y/N L/N, will you do me the honor, of becoming my wife?” He asked.

You gasped. No. No no no, was he really proposing to you?

You gulped and looked somewhere else, somewhere that wasn’t Saeyoung and you felt your chest tightening.

Saeyoung’s smile slowly faded and he moved close to you.

“Y-Y/N? Is...is everything alright?” He asked in a small voice. Then he ran a hand through his hair and bit his lip.

“I’m sorry Y/N, was it too soon? If you don’t want to get married yet it’s ok, I’m sorry, I knew I should’ve waited a bit more! Damn, I’m so dumb I-”

“Saeyoung.” You sniffed. Saeyoung slowly looked at you. Shit, did he fuck up? Goddamit, stupid Saeyoung you should have waited why didn’t you wait?!

You both sat in silence, the light of the stars gone since clouds had started to cover them all.

Then you looked at Saeyoung and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry Saeyoung. I really am. I just...I can’t...get married to you.”

Huh?

“W-what do you mean Y/N? D-did I do something? I’m sorry if I did, I really am!”

You shook your head.

So you weren’t mad at him? He didn’t understand, what was the problem?

“Saeyoung...listen. You are a wonderful person. You’re amazing, you care so much for your brother, for your friend. But...I can’t do it anymore. Ever since, well. The whole cult ordeal, everything has changed. At first it was fine but...you would still pull away from me sometimes. And I tried and tried, but whenever you were feeling down you just ignored me, and made feel so bad. I get that you’re sad, I know we all have bad days but...I can’t take it anymore, I just can’t.” You started sobbing, and Saeyoung looked at you, his face filled with guilt and sadness. Then he tried to grab your hand.

“Listen Y/N, if it’s because of that I promise that I can change, I promise I won’t-”

You pulled away and stood up.

“It’s not that Saeyoung! I just, agh. I-I just...I think I’ve fallen out of love with you. And I am so sorry, I really am, you’re wonderful and you’re so sweet, but I think we’re...we’re not right for each other. I’m sorry.” You yelled.

The both of you kept quiet, and stood in your places even when droplets started falling down.

Saeyoung hugged his knees and looked forward, a cold expression on his face.

“Saeyoung....I’m sorry. I confused my feelings for you, and you ended up getting hurt, and it’s all my fault, alright? So please don’t blame yourself.”

Silence.

Then Saeyoung gave a dry laugh and looked up to the sky.

“Wow. I mean, I guess it makes sense. All this time...you were acting so different. I thought you were angry at me, so I tried to do anything I could to make you smile again. Honestly it is my fault for trying to delay the inevitable. I tried to ignore the feeling that you were pulling away from me, and I tried to make everything better. But I still managed to screw it up.”

You bit your lip and looked at the ground, then Saeyoung looked up at you.

“You know, the first thing I noticed was at this years party. Remeber? You know, before...whenever you were around me everyone in the RFA said that you looked happier, as if you were glowing. Everytime you looked at me you’d have this spark in your eye...and I felt so special, so happy that that one spark, that expression you made, was only because of me. But you stopped. And that night, at the RFA party, I saw you talking with Jumin. And you were looking at him...the way you looked at me. That’s how I realized...but I just...I didn’t want to let you go. I’m sorry Y/N. I’m sorry that you had to deal with all these feelings because of me.”

Saeyoung forced a smile, as his tears mixed with the droplets falling down.

You were both completely drenched now. Saeyoung slowly stood up and raised his arm in front of him.

“No hard feelings, ok? You can go and be with Jumin. I won’t stop you. Thanks, for everything Y/N. Really.” He said.

You slowly shook his hand, and pulled him into a gentle hug.

“Thank you Saeyoung.”

When he pulled away he asked if you wanted a drive home, well, to his home now, to see if you wanted to pick up any stuff, but you refused telling him that you had moved everything back to Rika’s place a week before.

He drove you over to your apartment, and he didn’t seem any different. Saeyoung put on some music, and even joked around for a bit.

When he finally dropped you off, you thanked him once again.

“No problemo! Good luck with Cat Mom! Really! I’m sure he’ll be hard to pin down, but...I’m sure he’ll fall for you in no time.” He smiled.

You blushed and waved goodbye, and Saeyoung watched as you went inside the building.

All the way home he kept driving with a smile on his face. He didn’t think, he didn’t cry. He was quiet.

He came home and opened the door, then he made his way to the kitchen, where he found his brother.

“Hey you two, congrats! Here’s the stupid cake, seriously, I can’t believe it took so long for the idiot to propose, it’s great that he finally stopped being a pussy.” Saeran said sarcastically, but he still looked happy as he carried the cake. But he stopped when he saw his brother standing in the doorway, alone.

“Saeyoung? Where the hell is Y/N? Don’t tell me you forgot her in the mountain like you did with Yoosung the last time?”

No response.

Now Saeran was a bit worried. He placed the cake on the counter and walked over to his brother, who was still smiling and standing on the doorway without saying a word.

“Saeyoung...what the hell happened?”

Saeyoung just smiled, and Saeran was getting impatient.

“Hey! I’m talking to you!! What the fuck happened back there, why isn’t Y/N with you? Don’t tell me, did the two of you have a fight?! Saeyoung what did-”

Saeran stopped as Saeyoung quickly wrapped his arms around him, tightly. Saeran squirmed, and started yelling at his brother, telling him to let go, but then he saw Saeyoung start shaking, and he suddenly heard sobs.

“Saeyoung....?”

He grabbed Saeran even tighter and kept sobbing. Saeran he...he didn’t know what to do. Every single time, Saeyoung had been the one comforting him, whenever he felt sad or anxious.

But this time...Saeyoung was leaning on him.

Saeran awkwardly put his arms around Saeyoung and hugged his brother tight.

That night, Saeran stood all the time by his brother’s side.

He waited until Saeyoung felt comfortable enough to tell him what had happened.

When he heard that you rejected him...and that you broke up. Saeran...felt conflicted.

You were a close friend of his. He loved you so much. But you...you had hurt his brother deeply. He knew that you couldn’t control how you felt but...it still made him mad.

Saeyoung wasn’t in the RFA chatroom for months. Saeran would be the one to sometimes log in to reassure the other members that he was alrighhr, Saeran was taking care of him.

It took him so long to get over you. And when he was finally feeling better you and Jumin announced that you were pregnant, and that you were getting married soon.

Saeyoung acted as if it was fine. Around the RFA he was all smiles and jokes, he even offered to be the baby’s godfather.

Saeran was the only one who knew that at night Saeyoung would close himself off in his room, and that he wouldn’t come out.

It was hard. After all Saeyoung always thought he’d be the one being with you, the one to start a family and to take you to different places, instead of Jumin.

Sometimes it got so bad that he...well.

Saeran had to stop him from harming himself multiple times. Saeyoung was so depressed, and since Saeran was better he felt as if no one really needed him anymore.

Saeran will always be there for him though, and he began acting more caring to Saeyoung, he got less mad, and he even took him to travel to different places.

Even though it may take so long, Saeran will work hard so his brother can find happiness again.

A few years later Saeyoung was back to his normal self. Though it sometimes hurt to remeber the times he spent with you, he didn’t resent you.

All that mattered to him, was that you were happy.

#mystic messenger #saeyoung choi #jumin han #saeran choi #choi bois #mystic messenger angst #saeyoung angst #mysme

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ladykatibeth · 3 years

Text

“Missing”

Fandom: Sander Sides

Rating: Teen for swearing

Summary:The crown prince of the kingdoms goes on a quest to find his brother, meanwhile a famers kid meets up with a friend.

A/N: Will be continued,if you want to feel free to ask questions about the characters! I have my inbox open. Feel free to reblog.

Remus was Missing.

Remus was missing and Roman didn’t know where he was. Remus was missing, and he was gone for good this time, and Roman didn’t know what to do.

Remus was missing--his twin was missing. His twin was missing, Remus was--

Roman should have done something, noticed sooner. Or even noticed at all. Remus had always been loud, obnoxiously loud, Roman had remarked a couple of times. Remus had been a bit quieter than usual, the past week. But Remus had always had his ups and downs, despite what it might have seemed Remus couldn’t keep up his high energy forever. Every once in a while he ended up crashing.

Roman should have known though. Should have picked it out. Should have noticed. But he had been so busy last week. Well, busier than usual. There's always lessons, boring parties where adults talked about stupid things, and other such duties. But that week he had been preparing to do a speech, anxiously prepping and preparing. He had been so stressed, being crown prince was no easy task, honestly sometimes he just wanted to get away.

Maybe that's why Remus left.

Maybe--

Roman could feel his breath hitch in his throat, his eyes were wet, why was he crying? Why couldn’t he breathe?

Roman felt a hand on his shoulder. He tensed as he suddenly remembered where he was. His hands were gripping the bed. The breath slowly returned to his lungs, maybe he had been cursed. Cursed by some breath stealing fairy. That would actually be a good idea for a story, he’d have to return to that later.

“Roman?” Right. Later. He looked up to see Logan looking down at him with a concerned expression on his face. Roman could almost find it in himself to smile. Logan would know what to do. Logan always knew what to do.

“Are you okay?”

“Do I look like I'm okay?” Roman threw his arms around, nearly hitting Logan, who had started to sit down next to Roman.

Logan frowned. “I don't understand, you and I both know disappearing is not out of the realm of your brother's usual behavior. He runs off somewhere, every third week.” His frown deepened. “You both do, actually, no matter how hard I try to stop you.”

Logan had become Roman and Remus’s court companion, by nature of being literally the only other child that lived in the castle. The title wasn't exactly official, but that's what everyone had taken to calling him, almost affectionately. And Logan did the job as best as he could. Making sure neither one of them got themselves killed.

Logan also happened to be the son of Roman and Remus’s tutor. He excelled in almost everything, math, science, geography even English, though he struggled with the metaphors. Out of the three of them, Logan had always gotten the best scores. Roman might have called it favoritism if he didn’t know Logan so well.

Roman passed Logan the note he held crumpled up in his hand. In his despair he had almost forgotten it had been there. Logan carefully read over the material, his face changing only slightly, so slightly Roman wouldn't have caught it if he hadn't known what to look for. He squinted adjusting his glasses.

Of course, knowing what was in the letter himself helped. Roman had reread it over and over again, after finding it on his nightstand that morning.

Ro,

I'm leaving. For good this time. Don’t blame yourself, don't try to come after me, because I don’t want to come back. I don't know what I'll do next, maybe become a pirate? Or live in the woods in a cave,like a bear, and run around naked and eat wild plants! Who knows. I’ll decide later. Anyway, I’ll write to you if I find a way to from wherever I’m going. Say goodbye to Lo for me.

Ps. Don't show this to Mom.You know she’ll come after me.

Pps. If you show this to Mom I'll come back to the castle and bludgeon you. I am not above fratricide.

Roman had quickly hid that note under his pillow. And then he pulled it out to read it again, before sticking it back. He had been doing that all morning. He had at first felt angry, how dare he leave him to do this by himself, that hadn’t been the plan! That's what twins were for! So you didn't have to do things like stealing cookies from cooks, or running kingdoms, alone!

So that was that then. His brother was gone, he left, purposefully disappeared. Roman was going to tackle him if he found him. When he found him. Determination flooded into him.

Logan looked up at him. Probably seeing something in his eyes, he said “You’re going to go try to find him.” He looked at him disapprovingly.

Shit.

“I have to--!” Roman said. Roman drew short, and quickly looked around. He lowered his voice, “I'm going, and you can’t stop me!” Logan glared at him.

Roman glared back, harder. Logan maintained his gaze for a second then looked away, sighing. “Fine, then, I will accompany you.”

“You don't have to-” Roman said. Logan raised an eyebrow.

“I know I don't have to.” He walked over to Roman’s closet and grabbed a bag. “Pack some clothes, I’ll make a list of things we need, and draft a plan.” He placed the bag down next to Roman.

For the first time today Roman smiled. He could almost taste the adventure coming up on the horizon.

-----

Patton couldn’t wait to see his friend! He had said they could meet up today. Patton was so excited he sped through his chores. And boy, there were a lot!

Not that Patton ever really minded that much. He loved the animals on the farm. And he liked getting up early, and getting to watch the sun rise. The only problem was that he had finished too early. By the time he had gotten back it was already twelve O’clock and he still had two more hours to wait.

It was currently 1:30. He still had thirty minutes to wait, but his friend was rarely on time. Sometimes he came early, but mostly he came “fashionably” late as he had called it once. Patton had laughed.

Patton was sitting by the edge of the forest, near his house. The grass underneath Patton's hands was soft, and the sun shone brightly through the trees. The wind felt breezy, tousling through his hair. Patton giggled.

Patton's thoughts wandered to when he met his friend. It was almost a year ago, Patton had been playing around near the woods. His mama had told him to never to go in them. So Patton stayed around them, sure to never get too close to the trees. But Patton had thought he heard crying.

At first he was able to convince himself it was nothing, just the wind rustling through the trees, but the sound grew louder until it could not be classified as anything but sobbing. All thoughts of getting in trouble fled him. Someone was hurting, he needed to help them.

He had wandered slowly into the woods, holding his breath. Barely making a sound. He walked on the path, trying to listen from where he thought he had heard the sound. If somebody was hurt he had to help. Nevermind the fear slowly creeping up his spine.

As he journeyed farther and farther into the woods, the volume of the crying would cycle. Just as he thought he was about to reach the person, it would decrease again. Patton was just starting to think that he’d been tricked when he heard movement in the trees.

He turned around.

Nobody was there.

He slowly turned forward.

A snake was hanging down from the tree, right by him. Patton screamed. He fell backwards and froze. The black and yellow snake drew up close to him. So close he could see the wrinkly outline of its scales. Its eyes were cat-like. The snake's head nodded to the side, an expression that, on a human, would certainly be read as amused curiosity.

Patton got up and ran.

He could feel air rushing past him. He was running on autopilot, passing through trees and ducking under vines. Low hanging branches and thorny bushes nicked at his skin. He nearly avoided tripping over a couple of twigs and branches. He slowed down to a light jog, before stopping and sitting on a log to catch his breath. Patton looked around.

Nothing looked familiar. Patton thought he had come out from his left side. He walked back that way. Trying to go the way he remembered coming from, turning left and right. Just as he thought he would never make it out of these woods, he saw light. Light! Patton ran toward it.

Only to find himself back in the same place he started.

He tried again, and again, changing directions, taking lefts where last time he took rights. But every time he found himself in the same place. It didn't help that the tree markers seemed to flip and change randomly. And Patton couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched. “Why cant you just leaf me alone?” He tried to joke, but his punning fell flat.

He sat back down on his log, and started to cry.

He heard something move in the trees. His breath hitched, and he looked up. A boy about his age was sitting on a branch and looking down at him, lazily dangling a leg off the side of the tree.

His clothes were dark. Pretty fancy for the woods, Patton thought. The boy had a button down shirt, and a cloak wrapped around him. He had yellow gloves, and a hat Patton had never seen before. Patton thought he looked like a storybook villain.

“Crying is, absolutely, one of the best, most productive, responses one could have to getting lost in the woods.” Patton whipped his face with his sleeve. That was kind of a mean thing for him to say.

“Hello!” Patton said, trying to make himself seem happier than he felt. “My name is Patton!”

The boy looked sharply down at him and hissed a half-whisper, “Could you be any louder? I’d love for you to make it known to the whole world that I’m up here!”

Patton frowned. This convo wasn’t going well at all. He pushed forward, and half-whispered “Sorry, it's nice to meet you, what's your name?”

The boy tipped his hat. “You can call me Deceit.” They sat in silence for a minute.

“Well…” Patton began.

“Well?” Deceit said.

“Well, It's just, I'm kinda lost….”Patton trailed off.

“Clearly.”

“And you seem to know these woods a bit…..” Deceit’s expression didn’t change.

“So maybe,” Patton paused, “Maybe you could help me out?” The end of his statement went high.

Deceit must have seen the desperation on his face. Because he said, “Look, I'm not in the habit of doing favors for people, but I am willing to make an exchange.”

Patton gasped. A snake had appeared where Deceit once was. It slithered up the branch and down the tree. As soon as the snake hit the ground, Deceit reappeared.

So he was the one that scared him earlier!

“Here's the deal, I will help you home, if you agree to do me a favor.” Deceit held out his hand to shake it. Patton reached for it, automatically. Stopping just short of shaking it.

“Wait.” Patton had said tilting his head curiously “What favor?”

“You’ll know it when the time comes.” Patton hesitated for a moment, and then stood up and shook Deceits hand.

And in the end that had turned out to be a great decision! Patton had gotten a new friend! A friend that was running towards him right now. Now that’s a bit weird. Deceit doesn't runs, he just slithers all over the place. Patton giggled a bit at the joke.

His smile became tented with concern when he noticed Deceit had a look of panic on his face. Patton grabbed him by the arms. “Hey, hey, what's the matter, kiddo?”

“Patton, you have to hide me!” Deceit said.

#sander sides #deceit sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #remus sanders #missing #fanfic

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scaredandbored · 4 years

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androids cannot act without premeditation

this ones for @datalaur , i hope it’s ok! it will be ooc, as i’ve only done one story with characters that aren’t mine before, but i did try! doing it as a data-centric one was a bit of a mistake, he’s v e r y difficult for an emotional wreck like me to get right lmao. i’m so sorry it took so long, i really am. not only did i have difficulty with the characterisation of data, i also decided to try and make it a small collection of shorts that tied up nicely at the end, which took me waaaay longer than i anticipated, i’m sorry! i hope it’s ok (it’s also a little rushed at the end because i was working on it for ages but nothing seemed right and i just wanted to get it done aaaaaa i’m sorry)

word count : 2’292 (and a whole lot of errors because the final draft was done on my ipad at two thirty am i’m so sorry lmao)

i) when he “short-circuited” (not literally)

It was a routine check on a peaceful outpost, there was no need for Data to accompany the away team while he still had responsibilities aboard the ship, and when he had voiced this opinion to Riker, the first officer had agreed. Geordie had rested his hand briefly on Data’s shoulder as he gave his hurried goodbye before dashing off to transporter room 3 with Riker, Barclay, and an engineer from the outpost that had beamed aboard to explain the situation on the ground. Data was surprised when the loss of the heat from Geordie’s hand sent a slight chill through his system, the same way it did when the environmental controls in his quarters malfunctioned.

Shaking his head lightly, he ran a quick diagnostic on himself while he made his way to Engineering, a diagnostic that came up clear, which was puzzling. Data made a note to discuss the irregularity in his thermal controls upon Geordie’s return to the Enterprise. While monitoring the repairs being made to the dilithium chamber from the last skirmish the ship had engaged in, Data began to plan an evening meal with Geordie. Knowing his friend would likely be tired from an extended shift away with no access to his painkilling hyposprays, a low light intensity level was absolutely necessary, especially since Geordie seemed reluctant to remove his VISOR in the presence of his friends, including Data, for reasons the android could not fathom. Of course, Data would have to retrieve Geordie’s hyposprays from his quarters if the meal as to commence immediately after Geordie’s work planetside was complete, and if he would not take off the VISOR, perhaps some of his preferred scented oils would alleviate some of the tension headaches he preferred not to discuss, again, even with Data, once more for reasons unbeknown to Data.

The repairs were running smoothly enough for Data to feel secure in leaving them to run unattended while he carried out some basic structural repairs in the Jefferies Tubes, when the captain’s voice came barking out of his comm badge.

“Commander Data to the bridge, immediately.”

“Acknowledged, captain. I am on my way.”

As he made his way briskly down the corridor to the turbolift that would take him to the bridge, Data ran a list of the most statistically likely scenarios that would require his presence on the bridge. It would, of course, depend hugely on wether the captain required him at the navigation console or the science console, but based on the fact they were not due to leave orbit for another few days, Data concluded the scenarios requiring he be monitoring the various scans and probes while making various calculations (most probably pertaining to time restrictions enforced by a radioactive leak or electromagnetic flux of some sort) were most probable.

What he was not expecting, was to be completely blindsided by the tense order from Captain Picard, delivered without the man turning away from the view screen.

“Mr.Data, I need you to send a probe to scan for any signs of life on the outpost.”

It took Data a few seconds to process the order as his neural processors struggled with the implications of it.

He terminated the program which formulated various potential outcomes of his actions on the bridge, along with the one that had kicked in long before his motor functions had responded to the captain’s order, the one that was calculating the likelihood of Geordie’s survival.

While launching the probes, Data took a careful look at the sensor logs which detailed what had befallen the away team.

The details of the collapse of the cavernous system that made up the outpost.

The cave-in which had trapped Geordie and hidden him from the ships sensors, hidden his vital sign from the crew.

The earthquake that had made it impossible for Data to ascertain whether or not his best friend was alive.

It did not occur to Data until the away team was beamed back to the enterprise unscathed that he hadn’t spared a thought for Riker or Barclay, both men he would have considered to be his friends also. An intriguing matter, one Data wanted to look into before bringing it up with Geordie.

ii) when he acted without thinking (more than once)

Data had extensive experience in the science field, so when the majority of the science department were beamed planetside by a species of unknown intentions, it only made sense that Data be assigned to the ecological research team that were to beam down and learn all they could about the planet while a smaller away team attempted to retrieve the science department. Data could not see why Geordie insisted on beaming down, as he had neither experience with ecological research nor extensive search and rescue training, but Geordie insisted nonetheless.

Data’s memory banks suddenly assaulted him with images of Geordie in sick bay, in various states of physical and mental stability after away missions gone wrong while Data had been unable to assist him. Before he could stop himself, he found himself making a proposal for Geordie to join the research team, highlighting the importance of having someone well versed in physics while exploring the surface of the planet so that variables such as atmospheric pressure and wind patterns may be accounted for as much as possible while making notes on the planet’s ecology.

His lengthy explanation was cut off by the familiar pressure and warmth of Geordie’s hand patting his shoulder before settling just at the junction between his shoulder and neck, the warmth from the palm of his hand seeping into his circuitry and spreading a pleasant sensation throughout his body. “I’ll join your team, Data, no need to try and convince me.” His friend’s smile jolted another wave of warmth round his circuits, and while Geordie listened to Commander Riker’s plan for the retrieval of the scientists, Data ran another diagnostic on his thermal regulators, and one on his memory recall systems, only for them to show no signs of malfunction. “Hey, where are you, Data?” Geordie’s voice snapped him out of his reverie, wherein he had just begun to compare his responses to stimuli provided by Geordie to stimuli from his other friends, theorising perhaps it was the nature of his relationship with the chief engineer that was the cause of these flushes.

“I am in the briefing room, along with the rest of the crew who are due to be transported planetside.” Was his response to Geordie’s inquiry, but his friend’s bemused smile and good-natured laugh told Data the question had not been literal long before Geordie mentioned it being another one of those ‘figures of speech’ Data just couldn’t seem to get the hang of. He made a mental note to ask Geordie to assist him in further research into the use of such colloquialisms.

Geordie had removed his hand while they made their way to the transporters, resulting in a chill running through his sensory systems. Data filed the sensation away to run in comparison to his responses to similar withdrawals of stimuli from his other friends.

O’Brien engaged in some tense small talk with the two away teams, reminding them they would need their tricorders operating at full capacity in order to boost their signals in the event of an abduction similar to the science crew’s.

Data acknowledged O’Brien’s cautions with a fractional incline of his head, fiddling with a tricorder he, oddly, couldn’t remember picking up.

“Hey, Data, I know how to calibrate my own tricorder.” Geordie did not look angry; if Data had to guess, he would’ve said the look on Geordie’s face was amusement. Data blinked once, then looked down at his own tricorder, hanging from his hip. Looking back at the tricorder in his hands, he began to run yet another diagnostic on his memory banks.

“My apologies, Geordie.” He handed back the tricorder, a slight frown tugging at his mouth. “I...” He paused for a moment, paying particularly close attention to the result of his internal scan. All clear. “I did not think before acting.”

Geordie shook his head, but his smile never faltered. “That’s not like you, Data.” He clapped his friend’s upper arm briefly before hopping onto the transporter pad. “Thanks anyway.” His smile widened before he nodded at O’Brien and was beamed down.

Data decided he would have Geordie take an objective look at his circuitry later that evening.

iii) when he risked violating the prime directive

It had been two hours since the entrance to the cave had collapsed, trapping Geordie inside, alone. He had lost all communications with the rest of the away team, the Enterprise’s scanners were unable to penetrate the strange, rock-like substance the surface of the planet seemed to be covered in.

Data and the rest of the small away team had been in disguise as the native species while they attempted to take some samples of the very rock that had condemned Geordie to his confinement. Data had attempted to convey the situation to the nearest village, but was unsuccessful, considering they had not yet developed an effective means of communication, making it impossible for Data to secure their assistance.

He had initially disregarded the option of using his phaser to burn a hole in through the dirt surrounding the cave-in to prevent further danger to Geordie as it would risk violating the prime directive. He had established almost immediately prior to his first encounter with Geordie that under no circumstances could he die while Data had the capability to prevent that outcome. Data’s neural pathways lit up with a continuous, almost painful feedback loop as he was confronted with this paradox.

The prime directive must not be violated. To rescue Geordie, one must violate the prime directive. Geordie must be saved.

He had not noticed Riker taking his phaser from his hand, he had not noticed him giving an order for transport, he had not yet worked his way through the paradox.

He could just about make out the transporter room fizzling into his view before the pain pulsed through his entire body before he shut down, unable to solve the problem.

....

When he was reactivated, Data felt the familiar warm sensation throughout his entire mainframe a few milliseconds before he registered Geordie’s hands frantically darting around his head, where he could tell his access terminals were wide open and under intense scrutiny by his friend. “I seem to have returned to an operable state, Geordie. How long were was it before the Enterprise could retrieve you?”

“Data!” Geordie’s exclamation of his name should have left Data confused as to why his friend had not answered his question, but instead, the relief he could hear in Geordie’s voice was... almost comforting. The thought puzzled Data. How could he be comforted if he had experienced no upset?

Mirroring Geordie’s hand on his shoulder, Data accidentally applied more pressure than anticipated on the engineer’s shoulder, and before he knew it, the android found himself completely engulfed by Geordie, his system flushed almost scalding hot, and his arms moved up to press Geordie closer, closer, until his friend started to mutter something about not being able to breathe properly. Data attempted to relinquish his hold on Geordie entirely, but Geordie kept his arms firmly around him as he sighed, “We thought we’d lost you, Data.”

“And I thought I had lost you, Geordie.” Data frowned. He had, once again, acted without thought. He had meant the words, but he had not processed them before delivering them. “Geordie, I have been experiencing-“

When Geordie drew back from their embrace, frowning and reaching for his scanner, a constant stream of questions for Data regarding his recent malfunctions, Data felt... bereft. Cold. The lack of contact with Geordie had returned his systems to their usual, less comforting temperature, and the worry in Geordie’s posture and words had chilled Data. It made sense, therefore, to initiate further contact with the human.

Data wrapped his arms around Geordie, clutching his hands together just below his diaphragm, and rested his chin on his shoulder, watching closely as the engineer’s hands fumbled with the familiar scanner before coming to a halt. “Data?” Geordie sounded even more tense, which did not make sense. The lack of physical contact between Data and Geordie had seemed to distress them both, particularly in this encounter, and Data had thought that by initiating a more intimate contact would result in a positive reaction from both of them.

He decided to make one suggestion before he withdrew completely, worried if he removed contact with Geordie without warning it might upset the human further. “Geordie, would you consent to being kissed by me?”

When his question was met by silence, Data moved to extract himself from Geordie’s quarters, but the well-known sense of warmth flooded him as Geordie grabbed him by the crook of his elbow and applied pressure intended to turn Data around to face him. He complied.

When Geordie’s lips connected with his, the sensations were something similar yet different to that provided by the other forms of contact they had experienced together.

And unlike his recent Geordie-related-malfunctions, Data found himself perfectly within his faculties, able to position his hands with purpose- one at the base of the back of Geordie’s neck in order to hold him close, and one runnng up and down his arm, which seemed to cause Geordie to relax into him. The warm sensations from Geordie’s much more mobile hands complimented the fizzing sensation caused from the new calculations Data had begun: formulating the ideal combined angles of their heads, how much force to use when backing Geordie against the wall in order to better maximise their contact...

Geordie was just glad he had brought Data back to his quarters for repairs instead of Engineering.

#daforge #data soong #geordie la forge #i guess riker is there too?#writing data is hard #android emoting is difficult to concieve for me #im sorry if theres like... amd established way to write data in fic #i havent read any tng fanfics yet because i havent finished the series #so idk if ive done data right At All #but i tried and it was a challenge and thats what me writing these short little bits is anout #getting me back into the swing of writing #tng #start trek #the next generation #hmmmm i hate it #bored writes

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soundofseventeen · 4 years

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When I Grow Up 1.5 (Lee Seokmin)

I am both in my soft emo hours and unsure when I’ll post again, so here it is! If you haven’t read the first part yet, that’s totally fine, but it ties together with this one hence why it’s short!

Word count: 2366

You tapped your fingers against the table nervously. Seokmin wouldn’t just stand you up, especially when he was the one who placed the reservation and because it was his idea to meet up with you. Is this what you got for readily agreeing to meet the boy? The waiter had been fairly kind to you, letting you know everything was okay and that this happened often...the boys running late that is. But they always showed up. He poured you a glass of wine while you waited and the sweet taste calmed your nerves a little. You also ate some of the breadsticks so the alcohol wouldn’t affect you. He hadn’t texted you or given you any other indication that he was on his way over.

But before you could leave, he came running to your table, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. “I’m sorry,” he panted. “I was getting ready to come over….when Soonyoung hyung called….me about working on one...of my dance routines and time flew by. I left mid practice.” He reaches into his flannel and pulled out a rumpled yellow daisy....a couple stray petals falling. “I picked this….for you before….I came in.”

Seokmin’s thoughtfulness hadn’t gone away, you noted. You accepted it graciously and he finally sat down. “Thank you for waiting,” he said when he could breathe. “I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done if you weren’t here.”

“The thought crossed my mind,” you admitted. “The waiter was quick to get me to stay.”

“Yeah?” He seemed surprised. “I mean we’ve lost our reservations a couple of times with how late we were but this, this is the best restaurant in town.”

You twirled the wine glass between your fingertips, believing him. “I can drink to that.” He didn’t have to know that was more expensive than everything in your house put together...including your slowly growing kpop collection.

“Great.” He removed the flannel leaving him in a plain white shirt, and you had to remind yourself to breathe. He was your friend, someone you used to watch, someone who grew up in front of your eyes. “So tell me, Y/N, what have you been up to since the last time I saw you.”

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t like the way he still addressed you so casually, especially with that smile he wore. “Well, I finally moved out of Yongin.” Obviously. Why else would you be there?

“What do you do now?” He thanked the waiter for his glass of wine and he smiled at you both, letting you know he’d be back to take your order.

“I'm studying psychology but right now I work at a gardening store.” You realized how much your dreams had changed now that you thought about it. You remembered telling him how you wanted to be a teacher and own your own public library.

“That’s cool,” he nodded, and you briefly wondered if he thought the same thing you did. “And how are your friends?”

“I hope they’re good. I haven’t seen them in a couple weeks. Life has been hectic...today was my first free day in awhile, and well I met you. How about you Seok? Now is the idol life treating you?” If you kept him talking, it’d be easier not to let your attraction for him get in the way.

“It’s been so fun!” He replied happily. “I didn’t think I could ever be friends with so many people! And Carats really love us! It seems like a distant dream that I thought I couldn’t do something like this.” The wistful expression lingered for a moment and then his usual smile returned. “We go on tour a lot and we practice nonstop! Woozi hyung really knows how to put a song together and give us lines so it comes out perfect!”

“You’re living the dream,” you mused, raising your wine glass and taking a sip. “I’m very happy for you. You have a gift and you used it wisely.”

Seokmin requested another bottle of wine once the waiter wrote your orders down along with more appetizers as you caught up on the insignificant parts of your daily lives like how you completed your shopping for the week and how he chose to take a day from the gym because he didn’t seem to have as much time for more days. You didn’t know if the warmth was from the room or the way the alcohol coursed through your system but the constant blush on your cheeks from giving and receiving compliments felt nice, natural even. He kept you laughing as if you hadn’t been separated for years as he reminisced the details you thought he had forgotten, mostly because you did.

You thought you had been there a couple of hours but when the waiter abashedly told you it was almost midnight and they had to close soon, you were brought back to a sad reality where you and Seokmin would go your separate ways and tomorrow you’d go back to your normal life and he’d be an idol again and who knew when you’d cross paths again, assuming you were that lucky, that is.

“Gosh, has it really been that long?” He asked, handing the waiter his credit card to process their payment. “I don’t know about you, but I’m not ready to go just yet.”

There was the Seokmin you knew. He enjoyed people’s presence and wanted to spend as much time with them as possible. But you knew that if you didn’t end it here, it’d hurt more when actually said goodbye. You didn’t know why, but you wanted to spend more time with him, tomorrow if he had the chance or whenever the weekend called for it. You missed him a lot and finally felt like you had gotten the friend you always wished him to be. But still, you could feel the tug in your heart at rejecting his request.

“Actually Seokmin, I should probably get going. I have to work tomorrow and-”

“No worries. Can I at least take you home? I don’t want your boyfriend thinking that I left you by yourself.” He finally stood up and stretched, letting his bones crack in the process. “How is he anyway?”

“Good, he’s good.” At least according to his Facebook posts whenever you logged on. He got married and started a family, moving somewhere to Jeju City. You did remain amicable, even commenting how he and his husband looked adorable on their wedding day and he congratulated you when you moved into your own place...all via social media of course. “But we broke up before I moved to Gangnam. His family keeps him on his toes.”

“So you’re not seeing anyone?” He yelled goodnight to the host as he held the door open for you, and you just wanted to believe how hopeful he sounded.

“Not right now. I mean, I want to get back into it once my life gets a bit more stable, but right now, I’m content just doing whatever I like. That was something my last boyfriend told me before he pursued his coffee job dream in Japan. How about you?”

“Ohh, uh you know how it is. Dating is a little difficult when someone’s watching your every move.”

“Right, right. I read about how you got outed. I’m sorry.” You felt embarrassed for even asking now. One of the gossip magazines broke the news sometime during one of your midterms and the only reason you found out was because you heard someone screaming about it. (How you didn’t know you went to school with multiple Carats you didn’t know but then again, you didn’t exactly wear too much of their merch. It felt embarrassing in a way.)

“I mean, it’s over now, but I have to be careful about everything now.” He hailed a taxi and let you slide in first. “What’s your address so you can go home first?”

You gave it and then rode the way in silence, an unusual thing for DK. Every time you glanced over at him, he seemed to be lost in thought, the only light coming from his phone. You wanted to say something, anything before you never saw him again...unless he went on tour again. But you couldn’t with the butterflies making their way to your throat. You weren’t sure why you nervous but you knew you wanted to hold his hand.

The years had been very good to him in the time you been apart. You were staring but you couldn’t help it; the jawline cutting your something inside you, his moles being your favorite feature of his. You reached up to touch one, but when he turned, you chickened out and patted his head instead, loving the way his hair felt between your fingertips. It had always been his favorite method of comfort and your go-to whenever you didn’t know what else to do.

You saw when his eyes closed and he let out a hum of approval. “This feels good,” he said softly.

“Sorry, it’s a habit,” you apologized.

“I like it. It means you’re still comfortable with me.”

“You’re still Seokmin...you’re just famous.” Telling him that he was still somehow 10 years old to you didn’t feel right, and you knew it would’ve ruined the mood. “You’ve grown up well.”

“Have I made you proud yet?”

“Seokmin, you have no idea how proud I have been of you.”

“When I felt like nothing, I thought of you. You always helped me.”

There was that warmth that was at the restaurant. Did it follow you here or has it been there a while? You couldn’t be sure, but you liked the warm, tingly feeling. You wondered if he was feeling the same way you were right now. You sighed deeply through your nostrils when the cab stopped in front of your house. “Thank you, Seok. I hope we can keep bumping into you in the future, even if it’s just a few minutes.”

“Yeah, sure no problem. It was good to see you again.”

“You too.” You wondered if he’d give you any other sign he wanted to keep in touch with you, but he didn’t move so you finally got off, feeling somewhat disappointed. So you swallowed your pride. “Do you wanna come inside?”

He shook his head and you could feel the rejection taking it more personally than you should’ve. “You should probably go to sleep. You have to work and I do too. I’ll call you next time I’m free. How does that sound?”

You nodded, trying to ignore the stinging. Rationality was new. He normally would’ve jumped at the chance to spend more time with you, but that was years ago. He was grown up now, still a little naive but a good person nonetheless. He waved at you until you went inside and you let out another sigh. This time, missing him felt different. It was like an ache in your heart that you knew wouldn’t go away until you saw him again. And who knew when that would be again.

The knock on your door made you jump, and you weren’t sure why you were surprised when you saw Seokmin standing there.

He took your hands in his, not quite sure what to say. “Do you have a minute?”

You nodded, still being unable to speak. You just knew that you liked it.

“I missed you every day that I was away, and I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. I know that if I went back home, even just to visit, I wouldn’t have found you there. I know that I’m still like a child, but I promise I have grown up. I’m not the kid you used to know.”

“I know,” you finally said. “I’ve known that for a long time.” He wasn’t the child who cried whenever you killed a fly anymore or the one who hid behind you whenever he was scared. He was now considered a man, one who was big and strong but still carried a fragile heart, and that made you so happy. All the vlives, the interviews, the persona he portrayed in front of people wasn’t so much of a stretch of the person you knew. You could even tell in the way he held your hands; he squeezed them, not enough to hurt you but to get your attention. “You have grown up.”

“Y/N, do you still see me like a kid?”

You shook your head, wondering when that changed. You met him when you were barely a preteen and he was still using a nightlight to keep the monsters away. How did he suddenly become someone who didn’t need so much looking after? He was just a kid at some point to you. When did he become someone you were interested in? “I...it’s been awhile since I have.”

He squeezed your hands again. “You don’t know how long I waited to hear you say that. Y/N, please, can I have a chance? It doesn’t have to be now, but whenever you’re ready?”

You nodded. “Seokmin, if you asked me right now, I wouldn’t say no.” You understood now that you wanted him to say this or something like it. “I’m scared though,” you found yourself whispering.

He hesitantly brought one of your hands to his lips, kissing the skin softly. “Why?”

“What if this is a dream? What if we mess this up? Seokmin, what if we rushed into this?” You tried not to listen to your heart disagreeing with you because maybe for once, it was right.

“Then tell me to take a step back and we’ll take it from there.”

“Aren’t you scared?”

“Only that you’ll slip away again.”

“Seokmin-”

He tilted your chin slowly, gazing at you until he could cup your cheek. He finally pressed his lips to yours, kissing you softly. “When we grow up, I hope you can see that we can do this right. Things, I think, will change. Just don’t you dare let loose of my hands.”

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voldemorthatesnose96 · 4 years

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Robbe IJzermans’ Log

Robbe’s short journal entry of his trip around Asia and his meeting with Sander. Enjoy❤️❤️❤️

It got yeeted so I have to repost it! Sorry!

Memory is a strange thing. Even the smallest part of it sometimes can take the biggest place in our mind, making us speechless by its beauty and sadness altogether.

But put it this way. Let’s imagine that memory is like a box of chocolate; once you eat it, you can’t stop taking it again until it’s done. It’s so decadent, bittersweet at times, a true guilty pleasure but utterly satisfying. Sound almost like memories, right?

For me, I still remember this one particular moment in life where I’ve finally falling in love with someone. No, it’s not a woman, but a man—a carefree soul, unapologetic for having such big dreams of traveling around the world, a bit selfish but have a heart as gentle as a lamb. His name is Sander Driesen.

We were practically strangers who accidentally met on 3 weeks trip around Asia. There were about 20-25 people who participated, almost all of them already knew each other. Sander even brought 3 high school friends with him. And guess what? I’m the only weirdo among this travel group. Surprise surprise.

It was genuinely frustrating for me back then. I’m the only child in the family. My parents wanted me to be a doctor someday, because both of them are surgeons. In short, my whole life is already planned. I couldn’t even take a break on Sunday because I’m always too busy to study and they were still nagging. When other boys like me playing outside blablabla, I could only dream about it. So at that point in life, I decided to take a chance, to became a rebel for some time and joined the trip. Didn’t even care that I have to emptied my saving because of it. I only got one thing in mind : “I NEED TO BE FREE!” and that was exactly what I had later. In short, I ran away from home and only left a goodbye note which said “mum, dad, I’m going to Asia for 3 weeks. Sorry and see you later”.

Anyway, meeting Sander Driesen was both endearing and strange for me. When I almost tripped while climbed up the stairs on the plane, he swiftly held my back with his palm. I turned around and caught the most alluring dark green eyes I’ve ever seen. Later, he asked me if I’m alright and my shitty brain couldn’t made the simplest word such as “yes” or “thanks”, so I just gave him an awkward nod instead and continued to climbed up without saying another word. Why the fuck did I do that??? I should’ve at least said something! Lord!

And I think fate was hating on me so much back then. Sander was actually my seatmate during the entire fly. He was also kind enough to asked me if I’m truly alright or not, and ONCE FUCKING AGAIN, I just gave him a nod, still tongue tied to say anything at all. From the corner of my eye, I saw him smirking while looking at me—didn’t know what’s that for.

There’s so many things I want to pour but sadly, I don’t have that much time to write the entire journey of my marvelous trip because I have to be at the hospital in 2 hours. But I’ll try to summarize it. Especially about Sander.

He’s also an only child, with a remarried father. He said he doesn’t hate his step-mother but if he could choose, he’d rather not be in the same room with her. His dad was actually half-begged him to not going, but Sander insisted; he wanted to see the world, needed to make the most of it and this trip was one of the best offer. He told me all this when we were at the airport in Shenzhen while waiting for our flight because it was delayed for an hour.

During our trip in Shibuya, Sander gave me a small Gudetama plushie that make could make a sound if you press it. He won it from a skill-crane and thought I’d like it because it has the same color as my sweater. And I do like it, very much and I still keep it safe inside my desk at home.

He was also introduced me to his other friends and we got along quickly. They were loud and didn’t understand the meaning of personal space, but I didn’t mind that at all. Being around them gave a brand new energy that I didn’t know exist within me.

Sander even introduced me to David Bowie’s music. That guy loves him too much, until one evening, when he was too drunk at this bar in Gangnam, he got into a small karaoke stage and started singing Rebel Rebel loudly. The others were too busy laughing and cheering, I was the only one who could convinced him to get down from the stage before he nearly took off his t-shirt. It was a rather wild night, but I enjoyed it. Every seconds of it.

Our last destination stopped in Bangkok. There was this hilarious experience where we tried this dangerous-looking fruit called “DURIAN” and boy, the smell was FUCKING HORRIBLE! Sander even had to excused himself once his nose caught the smell, and he wasn’t coming back until half an hour later. For the first time ever, I laughed at him, hard. I remembered how his expression was more amused than offended. He asked, “where’s this side of you since day one, Robbe?” and I answered in between my laugh, “I had no idea either.”

It was also Valentine’s Day. All of us were invited to a party at this club. But I got too dizzy because of the sound and everything. Not long after, Sander took me outside and we went for a walk together. It was almost 5 AM. I still remembered the night breeze across my neck, the thrill when I accidentally got too close to Sander—maybe you can call me weird but in 3 weeks only, I already fell in love with him. I fell in love with how he spoke about the world, the universe through his eyes, how his eyes always crinkled whenever he smiled, how his nose scrunched whenever he cackled, the gentleness of his voice even when he was drunk; Sander Driesen was captivated and mesmerized me in a way that no one ever could. And that time, I needed to confess, about everything that I felt. Though I couldn’t.

When we were talking about our future plan, Sander pulled out an acceptance letter at one of the most prestigious university in US. Full scholarship too.

But then, I saw doubts flashed in his eyes.

“I’m scared, Robbe.” He admitted, genuinely.

“You? Scared?”

“Because life’s never gonna be the same anymore.”

I still held my ground, kept my voice as steady as possible, “so?”

“I’ll leave my friends behind and they...”

“Secretly aren’t too thrilled about it.” I continued.

His dark green eyes were almost black now, even under the street lights.

“What will my Dad’s say? I haven’t told him yet.”

I considered it for a moment, “yeah, America is very far. When will you be going?”

“In 2 weeks, more or less.”

“Okay.”

Sander took a step closer to me, “I’ll be alone there, Robbe.”

I smiled softly at him, “and here? What about here?”

“Here feels nice. Too nice but...”

“But you want to fly,” I continued calmly. “You want madness. You want adventure. You also want to fall. I remember everything, Sander.”

“And this scholarship...”

“Will bring you a lot closer to your dreams.”

For few moments that felt like eternity, both of us just stood there and stared at each other. It was comfortable, it was needed, it was enough.

“Will you miss me?”

I grinned, “of course not.”

Biggest lie ever.

But from his face, I could tell that Sander only took that as a joke because he was simply gave me his usual dazzling smirk to me.

“Were you about to say something earlier?”

“It’s just... just wanna say that night is ended.”

Just like I thought, I couldn’t say it. Just... couldn’t say it. Because no matter how much I loved him, his love for his dream was bigger than mine and I wouldn’t want to stopped him.

I was hurt but also grateful. Every single memory that I take with me is always gonna be the part of who I am today and in the far future. I can never forget the madness, the sadness, the laughter, the thrills in those days and those nights.

Sander Driesen chased his dream so hard that he was gone in a blink of an eye. It’s almost 7 years now, he never turns back and I’m not waiting for him.

#wtfock #wtfam #fanfic #IT GOT YEETED

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lady-une · 4 years

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Enough extra: E-Day

Hey y’all so with the news of enlistment me and my group chat had a talk. I jokingly said what if Glory was the one to see SEUNGRI off and it was requested for a little one shot. I wasn’t sure if I was going to do a stand alone or add it to a current story. I decided to add it to enough since I was working on it anyways. As much as I hate to even have to say this because you would all know by now but I am ot5. But anyways. As always leave me some love, comment and share.

With everything that has happened he thought they would still be there for him. What is he supposed to do other then move on when the “Family” he had is no longer there. Enough is enough. It is time for him to be happy.

Theme: angst

Word: 3221

The rain hitting the window was a calming noise to Seungri amidst the silence of the room. The letter laying on the coffee table was like a bomb slowly ticking down until it would explode. Seungri knew this day would come, it was a day most men in Korea hated but knew it was inevitable. Their life would be put on hold for two years while they did their duty and enlisted. Having known so many people including his hyungs who have already gone through it Seungri knew it wouldn’t be too bad.

The phone ringing on the couch next to him brought him out of his stupor, reaching down he picked it up and saw that it was Glory.

“Hello?”

“Hyung, want to get Italian tonight? I have a craving for spaghetti but I don’t want to eat alone.”

Glory was like this little ray of sunshine since the scandal, no matter how dark the clouds were he always found a way to punch through and lighten his mood. “Of course. I will come pick you up around 7 ok.”

“I cant wait hyung, see you then!”

The phone clicked silent and Seungri smiled as he stood from the couch. As Seungri walked back to the bedroom he started to call his hyungs in hopes they would be able to join them.

“Hyung can you make it out to dinner? I have something important to say.”

“Sorry maknae, I have dinner tonight with my in-laws. What did you need to say?”

“I have my enlistment date, will you be there to see me off?”

Seungri waited for Youngbae to respond but could hear his wife talking to him at the same time.

“Hyung?” Seungri called out.

“Oh sorry maknae, yeah yeah of course I will be. Look I have to go.”

The phone went silent. Seungri dialed Daesung next.

“Hyung?”

“Maknae!”

Seungri pulled the phone away from his ear at the loud shrill of a drunk Daesung. “Hyung are you busy?”

“I’m of at a certain Bingu’s house, he had a new bottle of wine.”

“Oh ok. Well I wont bother you two but I wanted to let you know I got my enlistment letter. Will you be there to see me off?”

A loud thud followed by even louder laughter could be heard.

“Hyung are you ok?”

“You elder hyung fell over trying to pose like a ballerina. I will talk to you later maknae.”

Again the phone went silent. Sitting on the bed Seungri dialed the one person he was sure would join him tonight.

“Hello?” A groggy Jiyong answered his phone.

“Did I wake you?” Seungri replied in a whisper.

“Yeah, I was at the studio late.”

“Well I wont keep you up, but I got my enlistment letter.”

“Oh. When do you go?”

“In a week. Will you be there?”

“I will have to check the schedule.”

“Ok, get back to me.”

“Yeah.”

“Good night I lov..” Seungri didn’t get to finish his sentence before the phone went silent.

Pulling up to Glory’s apartment Seungri waited in the car. Not long after arriving the door opened and in slipped a bubbly Glory.

“Did I keep you waiting?”

“Of course not silly. Ready?”

Glory nodded his head and the two took off. The car ride to the restaurant was spent in laughter as Glory sang along horribly out of tune on purpose to the songs on the radio. It was a thing the two would do, they would do their best to out sing the other in the worst possible way.

Pulling up to the restaurant they handed the keys to the valet and entered the building. It wasn’t busy at all and no one was there to hound them. They got a few looks here and there and Seungri could hear the whispers and glares. So many people saw him as a guilty man. No matter what was said to clear his name, society didn’t care. The media did a bang up job painting him as a bad man and smearing his name, connecting him to things he had no true connection to. Knetz only believe what they are fed by the media. The media could tell them the sky is green and birds are actually fish and they would believe them.

After finishing dinner the two sat and ate desert. Seungri swirled his glass of ice water before clearing his throat.

“I have something to tell you.”

Glory put down his fork and looked up at Seungri while he chewed his food.

“I got my enlistment letter today. I have to enlist next week.”

Glory harshly swallowed his food, “That was quick. Usually you get a little longer from the day you get the letter.”

“Yeah but I should have enlisted along time ago.”

“Who is going to take you?”

“Taekgu will of course take me. I am sure one of my brothers will go with me.”

“Well I will be there for sure! I wouldn’t miss this.”

“Thanks, I knew I would have you there in my corner.”

The two finished their meal before paying the bill and leaving.

Over the next couple of days Seungri spent them with his family. Enjoying the time they had before he would be stuck in a room with strangers who probably didn’t even like him. The anxiety of his debut years were coming back. He had the same fear when he first joined BigBang. He was alone and had no one while starting a new chapter in his life. The others were already so close and he felt like an outsider. He knew this would be the same thing all over again.

Seungri laid on the couch with his had in his mothers lap like when he was a little boy. His mother was singing him a song like she did when he was little, a comforting tune that always helped ease away his fears.

“My sweet boy, you know this will all have to go.” His mother said as she played with his long hair.

“I know. I am going to go tomorrow.”

“Are your other members going to go with you?”

“I was going to text them tonight and ask.”

“It’s been so long since I have seen any of them. You tell that Jiyong that he better bring himself around more.”

Seungri laughed and sat up before kissing his mother on the cheek and heading towards his room. Once inside he flopped on the bed and pulled out his phone. Sending a message to the group chat he asked if the others would be free to go with him to cut his hair. One by one they each viewed the chat but no one responded back. Seungri assumed they must be busy in the studio and put his phone on the charger before getting ready for bed.

After eating breakfast Seungri went back into his room and again flopped on the bed before grabbing his phone. Still there was no reply from his brothers, the message still sat on read. Sending them another message with the time that he would be at Taehyun’s place. Again the message was read but nothing was said.

After getting out of the shower Seungri got dressed and waited for Glory to come grab him. It wasn’t long before his phone alerted him that Glory was downstairs waiting for him. Seungri kissed his mother goodbye before walking out the door. The ride to the hair studio wasn’t long at all and as much as Glory tried to get Seungri to sing he just wouldn’t play along.

Arriving at the studio the boys walked in to find more friends already inside and waiting.

“My sweet chubby boy, it’s finally your time!” Taehyun walked up to Seungri before pinching his cheeks and hugging him.

“Noona.” Seungri said as he embraced her.

“Come now sit down. Let your noona work her magic.”

Seungri laughed, “Noona its not like its too hard so shave a head.”

“My boy I wont let you go into the army with an uneven cut. Now sit.”

Seungri sat or rather was pushed into the chair.

“Now where are your hyungs? I would assume they would want the honor of making the first cut. It’s customary.”

Glory watched as Seungri’s face fell at the mention of members who were absent as usual.

“They are busy with work of course.” Seungri said trying to force a fake smile on his face.

“Ok, well who wants to take the honor then?” Taehyun asked as she looked around to what friends Seungri had there.

One by one the boys there each took turns shaving off a small amount of Seungri’s hair. After each shave they ruffled his hair and kissed his head wishing him luck. Finally it was Glory’s turn and he slowly went over Seungri’s head cutting off the rest of it. He watched Seungri’s reflection in the mirror as he cut, watching the tear slowly slip passed his eye and fall onto the cape. When Glory finished he set the clippers down and brushed off his head before laying a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“They might not be here but the people who truly care for you are and we always will be here hyung.” Glory whispered into Seungri’s ear.

“Alright now its my turn to finish this up.” Taehyun said as she hip bumped Glory out of the way.

Music was turned on and laughter was soon filling up the studio. Seungri grabbed his phone and opened up instagram deciding to do a LIVE now to help lift his spirits. The fans quickly logged on to watch and were wishing him luck and telling him to stay healthy. Seungri turned the camera around to show who was all there and it wasn’t long before the fans caught onto the lack of BigBang members. Turning the camera around Seungri began to sing along to some songs that came on and Glory took the chance to get right next to him and sing along. Fans were enjoying seeing Seungri smile again and laughing. Soon the lack of BigBang members were gone from their minds.

“Glory little boy if you don’t move I will shave off all that hair too!” Taehyun said jokingly.

Glory laughed and moved back to his chair to allow her to finish what she was doing. When Seungri was done he stood up from he chair and hugged Taehyun thanking her.

“Now you hear me Lee Seunghyun, you better not let any of those boys push you around in there. You need to stand up for yourself. You are an innocent man free of all those charges. Do not let a single person make you think otherwise or try to hold that scandal over your head. I don’t know what is going on with those stupid hyungs of yours but you have some good friends here for you. Do not go through anymore hardships alone, you need to lean on others when you need them.” Putting her hand under Seungri’s chin she raised it up. “Now go forward with your head held high, do not put it down anymore. Do not let society dull that inner spark of yours. Be the great Seungri again. Rise again like the Phoenix you are.”

Seungri looked down and kissed Taehyun’s cheek before thanking her and walking out of the studio with his friends. As it was his final night Seungri spent it with his friends eating all his favorite food for the last time as it would be a long time until he had them again. They all joked about how the army had no idea what they were in store for. If they thought the fan boys were hard when he was there for the other members events then they hadn’t see anything yet. Each of his friends knew that when Seungri was his normal self no one stood a chance against his charm. That he could get anyone to become his friend by just talking with them, there was just something about him that made him so likable and easy to get along with.

After dinner Glory went back with Seungri to his house as he had decided to spend the night so he would be there when it was time to go. Laying in bed the two both tried to sleep but were unable to.

“Hyung you need to sleep.”

“I know but I cant.”

“What is on your mind hyung?”

“Things are about to change again and I am scared.”

“Hyung it isn’t that bad, before you know it you will be out and able to move forward with the other half of your life.”

“Yes but that also scares me. The future. What if the country doesn’t forgive me still? What if everyone is still hating me?”

“Then we say screw them. You don’t need them! We can do other things with your life.”

“I know but I want to be back with my other members. I want to be back making music. The country has to forgive me by the time I’m done. They just have to. Once I am done I will be able to come back to my members and we will be able to make music together just like before. They wont abandon me. They would never do that.”

“But hyung, they weren’t there today and they haven’t been there lately.”

“They have been busy that’s all. Just you wait and see, they will send me some kind of message wishing me luck if they cant make it. I bet they will be there tomorrow. They wouldn’t let me go alone in this. I bet they all said they had plans just because they wanted to surprise me.”

“Ok hyung, I will believe you. Now sleep.”

Seungri rolled over in the bed and looked at the wall, a silent tear escaped his eye. Were those words just for Glory so he would believe them or were they for himself in hopes that he would believe himself.

The next morning the two woke up bright and early to get ready. Seungri’s mom had made a large breakfast and packed them in containers for the boys to eat on the road. Seungri kissed his mother goodbye and hugged his sister and father goodbye. As the door closed Seungri could hear his mother’s soft sobs. Seungri did his best to hold back his own tears, now was not the time to break down.

Once in the car the driver drove off, Taekgu was in the front passenger seat while Glory and Seungri sat in the back. Glory was trying his best to get Seungri to eat what his mother had made but Seungri’s anxiety was back and his appetite was gone.

“Hyung you need to eat, your mother would be sad to know that you went in with an empty stomach. You wont get a chance to eat anything until they call dinner and even then its nothing appealing. Please don’t make me bring all these full boxes back to your mother.”

That seamed to do the trick and Seungri started to slowly eat what was handed to him. He ate as he slowly watched the city flash by him until all he saw were other cars and trees. It was awhile before he would reach the base and the whole way there he kept checking his phone hoping that the others would have sent him a message but there was nothing. He still had hope then that they would surprise him there.

At some point Seungri had fallen asleep on the drive there. Glory softly shook him awake and watched him stretch out like a cat.

“Hey we will be arriving shortly. Here are some wipes if you want to freshen up a bit.”

Seungri smiled and took the wipes offered. It would be a shame to show up on his enlistment date with a crusted up trail of drool on his cheek. The car soon came to a stop and Seungri took a glance at everyone there. There was a large crowd there mixed of men enlisting and their families but mixed in there was also the media. Seungri was now a civilian and it was supposed to be a closed enlistment but those vultures never let him be.

Sensing Seungri’s stress about the media Glory grabbed onto his hand. “Hyung I am here for you don’t worry.”

Seungri smiled and still looked around, hoping to see another vehicle near by that would hold his brothers but didn’t see anything.

“Taekgu hyung, did the guys say they would be here?”

“No they didn’t tell me anything. Are you ready to go?”

Seungri chewed on his lip trying to hold in his tears.

“Hyung?” Glory called out.

“Yeah lets go.”

Taekgu got out of the car first and opened the door to let Seungri out while Glory got out from the other side of the car. People shouting could be heard in front of Seungri as he put his back pack on. Walking towards the loud crowd of people had Seungri’s heart rate speed up. Seungri looked on either side of himself and saw Taekgu to his left and Glory flanking his right side. This gave Seungri a bit of relief to know that they were still near him. As Seungri got closer to the media and their flashing lights Seungri shoved his hand in his pocket holding onto the little plush dragon he was given by Jiyong years ago.

“Seungri!” Reporters shouted at him.

Seungri took time to stop every now and then to smile and bow at the cameras. As much as Seungri hated the media for how they destroyed his life he still needed to play nice with them. Once the last bit of media had been finished and he was finally safely in the spot for friends and family to say goodbye, Seungri turned to Glory with tears rimming his eyes threatening to spill over.

“Hyung?” Glory whispered as he grabbed his hand.

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Hyung you just say the word and I will enlist all over again!”

Seungri laughed, “Don’t be silly you know you cant.”

“I will find a way to enlist if I need to.”

“They must have been busy right? Work had to have kept them. Why else would they not have come or even sent me a message.”

“Of course, they wouldn’t miss their maknae enlisting. Don’t worry about it. I am sure you will get some message from them apologizing a million times for not being here.”

“Yeah what am I thinking, they wouldn’t let me down like this.”

“Of course not. Now you cheer up and go in there. You show them exactly who the great Seungri is hyung!”

Seungri wiped his eyes and smiled. He hugged Glory one last time before turning around and walking towards the gate. He wanted to look back but knew if he did he would break down in tears and that wouldn’t be a good look. Instead he held his head high and walked through the gates doing his best to ignore the fear that was bubbling up in him. Things would be different after this day he thought.

#lady une fanfic #bigbang #bigbang fanfic #bigbang one shot #bigbang scenario #bigbang scenarios #seungri #seungri fanfic #seungri scenario #seungri scenarios #seungri imagine #seungri imagines #bigbang imagines #bigbang imagine #ot5 #always and forever

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chaoticdiamondsintheair · 4 years

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So, Splash Mountain is getting a re-themeing after all.

It turned out Disney was planning on a re-themeing since 2019! D: I kinda wished Disney made this public before the whole twitter outcry happened. That would have made this a little bit easier. I was able to see from both side of the argument, why people wanted it changed and why people don’t want it changed. What pissed me off about this was 3 things: the media’s political agenda on my favorite Disney ride ever (twitter’s cancel culture shit), Disney idea to make a ride based off the most controversial film in the first place...like what did you expect, and last was my love for the Br’er characters. I mean, the Br’er Characters were the only thing I loved about Splash Mountain, that’s it.

I remember going on the ride. The year was 2007, my family drove all the way to Florida to visit Walt Disney World, Universal Studios and Sea World. I saw the briar patch for the first time while riding on that log and was thinking OMG I'm going to die because I didn't know there was a tunnel underneath. xD Plus, the attraction didn't have safety bars then. I remember some parts of the ride with my own eyes, like Br'er Bear tied to a rope that was meant for a rabbit trap and the scene before the drop where Br'er Rabbit was tied up in Br'er Fox's lair. Yeah, that scene kinda freaked me out because of its atmosphere. I was like is the rabbit going to be sacrificed to the gods or something...what the fuck is going on? o.o I have a picture of me and my family before the drop, in which caught terror written on my face (I have to find it!). Look, I was scared to ride on every Disney ride, okay? Fine, I was a little bitch okay?! xD Years later, I found a video called Splash Mountain Trivia, in which the first question was what movie the ride was based from. That's how I was first introduced to the movie. It’s surprising how Splash Mountain was operational for this long. Disneyland's Splash Mountain just reached its 30th anniversary in 2019. o.o

I had hoped that I would ride Splash Mountain again as an adult. But, is that going to stop me from looking away from the future...no. Since the change is inevitable, I am looking forward towards the changes. I would rather move forward into a better future rather than to cry and rage about the fact that the Splash Mountain that I love is being re-themed. But remember, not everything is completely gone. You see, the internet hold the history of rides that had once been a part of the Disney Parks that are no longer there. There are many Splash Mountain videos that you can watch, and there are documentaries of Disney World imagineering that talk about the ride in which you can watch, there are other cartoons of Br’er Rabbit, Br’er Fox and Br’er Bear that you can watch, and there’s fan-art, fan-fiction, fan-documentaries and so much more. I have a six dvd pack documentaries of Disney World/Disneyland imagineering (I think you can find it on YouTube). You can watch and read them all and enjoy yourself. The memories of Splash Mountain are permanent! Yes, change is hard to accept because we’re not used to this change. We love Splash Mountain. However, nothing last forever. But, I would rather move forward towards the future bringing the memories of the past with me! Splash Mountain was here, it was here since 1989 and I am so glad I was able to ride Splash Mountain in Disney World when I did as a child. I’m glad I was able to ride the ride TWICE (Yes, my family went to the Magic Kingdom twice on the first and last day of our Florida vacation). :3 I will always love Br’er Rabbit, Br’er Fox and Br’er Bear. The characters, the ride, the experience and the memories will be engraved in my heart. :) Plus, I can watch all the videos of Splash Mountain and be like I’ve been there, and I’m glad I was able to have a chance for there are people who had never was able to ride Splash Mountain at all! It’s hard to say goodbye to what you love most, what you hold dear the most. I’d been through worse times before, but sometimes you need to accept change. Change is inevitable, and we all need to understand why it had to be re-themed, and learn to move forward. Disneyland will never be complete. But the memories are permanent, they will never go away. And it is the memories that keep something, or someone, alive. :)

I hope I get to ride on the new re-themed Splash Mountain ride in the future! The concept art for the New Splash Mountain looks beautiful, and I got to admit that Friends on the Other Side is a really catchy song. Yes, I was upset when I first heard about twitter’s outcry on June 10th. I hate everything about politics, anything political gets me fired up! However, as the days went by the pain decreased and it hurt less and less. When Disney made the announcement of the change, at first I teared up, but then I felt okay with it. I’m okay. I can get through it, knowing this change was for good intentions. :) I hope Tiana and Naveen’s animatronics are realistic looking (as well as awesome), rather than the face projections like they did for Frozen and the snow white ride. :P Tokyo’s Disneyland’s Beauty and the Beast ride had their characters look EXACTLY like the characters from the movie and I HOPE the characters in the ride look exactly like the characters from the movie! No computer projected faces please! :3 Just pure advanced realistic animatronics. The song Friends on the Other Side is stuck in my head anyways, so I’m gonna blast that song and jam to the music. :)

#splash mountain #walt disney world #disney land #forgive me for my grammatical errors #I just heard about the news

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erikismybitch · 5 years

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Waiting in Vain: Chapter 1

This One Guy.

Marleys room was her safe space . It smelled like her, it looked like her , even the soft sheets felt like her . They were expensive enough. “Quality over quantity“ her mother would say when she was little . That was something she carried on , even after her life .

“Alexa, turn on my fucking light” Marley groaned , she had been hearing voices in the living room for the past hour . She didn’t even have Alexa, Marley just wanted to humor herself. She was trying to take a nap before she had to be logged on to her computer for work .

Marley controlled the social media content for a food delivery app. When people messaged and tweeted the company , Marley was the person who had to respond and help . She had to take a total of six hours a day , all dedicated to the complaints of unhappy customers . She just wanted a few hours of sleep, she had a busy day and needed to pull an all nighter .

But no, Tiana had to invite people over tonight. They were cousins and shared a living space . Well, Marley was living with her cousin. She fell on hard times and needed a place to stay while she got on her feet . Marley had given herself a year , it was month six so she was half way there. Ready to go wasn’t even the phrase that could explain how she felt . Paying half the rent wasn’t bad, but she wanted her own space.

There was a knock at her door, one of the many over the past hour . It was the same thing , somebody asking when she was “gonna’ come out” . From the sound of it , a football game was on . Marley wasn’t interested in any sport that didn’t involve Serena Williams . And plus , to her, football was fueled by racism, it’s workings were slavery-like. Marley also thought it was too many confusing rules , what’s a first down anyway .

She left her nest , spotted a few familiar faces and this one guy .

The one guy who approached Marley a few weeks ago . But once he laid eyes on Tiana, Marley was a distant memory .

His name was Erik.

And there were many before him , ever since they were little girls Tiana always prevailed . Marley rested the side of her body on the living room wall , every seat was taken so she had no choice . Also she was able to see everyone , but couldn’t keep her focus away from Tiana and Erik. His hand rested on her thigh , Marley could see the imprint from him squeezing it ever so often . They kept stealing seductive glances at each other. Marley rolled her eyes .

This is why I stay in my room, Marley preached to herself. All the while grabbing an unopened lime-a-rita and taking a huge swig . It was time for her to start work anyway . Without so much as a goodbye , she went back into her room . Uninterested on being around people . Marley felt a particular way , she didn’t know if it was loneliness. Everyone could lie and pretend that they were okay with rejection and being single . But nobody really enjoys being alone . Marley wanted to be wanted , even if it was for a moment. So she did what a lot of impulsive girls do . She sent a text to her ex boyfriend.

Trey, wyd?

She sent the text . And after letting thirty minutes pass he didn’t respond . Marley figured he wasn’t horny enough to respond back . “Why did I do that !” She slapped her for heads as self punishment. She felt that instant regret .

Marley logged into all social media accounts for work . Twitter was her first @Gunna671 was really upset about something missing from his order . She started off with the blue print .

We are sorry for the mistake , please tell me the item(s) that are missing from the order. And please provide the order number .

She managed to stay up for four hours , right before crashing again . The small fifteen minute cat nap lasted a little too long . Thank god, but not thank god for the loud noise that woke her up. It was now 2am.

Tiana was so damn loud , screaming Eriks name over and over . The sounds were muffled through the walls but Marley could hear everything . Even Erik’s recent remark about how “her shit was so wet” and how “her mouth felt just like her pussy when he was in it “

“Damn” Marley spoke out loud .

Her computer screen was still active with hundreds of unanswered direct messages and tweets. Before she got back to it, her phone screen lit up .

My bad , I didn’t see your text

Treys bullshit lie made her stomach growl with hunger . So she got up , those customers could wait another ten minutes. Through the hall she could hear them mumbling to eachother , it seemed as if they had finished . Thank god now. Nevertheless, Marley was on a food mission .

In the kitchen , she grabbed a box of hearty cereal from the cabinet . Poured it in a bowl and then added milk . Just as she retrieved her spoon, Tianas door opened. Erik walked out of the room . Nothing on but his briefs and a smile , he exuberated confidence as if he lived there . This was Eriks house. He displayed the same arrogance that attracted Marley to him in the first place , he didn’t even have to say a word .

They were at a club , he approached Marley but he couldn’t keep his wondering eyes off her cousin . “Her name is Tiana, go ahead “

Marley had grew tired of his act quickly , she knew where he really wanted to be . Routinely, if he would have just saw Tiana first . Usually, Tiana would reject them . But not Erik , not a man who was built to perfection like him . From his brown skin , bulging biceps and dimpled smile . He probably didn’t even know what rejection felt like .

He smelled like cologne and latex. That latex smell always carried on its own . Erik mumbled something about juice . Marley heard him loud and clear but she was still upset at him for his choice . She ignored him . It got awkward because he repeated himself , so he knew for a fact she heard him . He didn’t like that , he could get rude too .

“You didn’t hear what I said?” he raised his tone , in a father-like manner , like one that was fed up with a teen .

“Nope” Marley was dry with him . Erik kissed his teeth and brushed past her . He moved so quickly that it startled her . He opened the fridge and grabbed a carton of orange juice . It just so happened to belong to Marley. “Aye, that’s mine!” She warned him .

“So I can’t have none?” He smirked, trying to use his charm to dissolve the situation .

“No, you should have asked” Marley went towards him to reach for the carton of juice , he snatched it back just as the tips of her fingers touched his. Erik looked down at her , his smirk was gone . He had tried his best to be cordial , but he took big offense to people who snatched things from him . Plus, he had already asked her twice .

“I don’t give a fuck if this is your house or not , don’t you ever try to take something from me “ He was loud and clear . Marley stood back in fear . Something about him made her freeze . If it was any other person , she would have returned the same energy . He looked directly at her but she couldn’t fathom looking him back in the eye. He slammed the carton on the counter , so hard that the bottom began to leak.

“You shouldn’t be drinking all this sugar anyway , you’ll just keep getting bigger”

The gasp that seeped through her lips came out strong. Erik had made Marley feel so small , thank god he walked away . He didn’t get a chance to see her eyes water . Marley had completely lost her appetite.

Is he saying I’m fat ? That was a fat joke right ? I know he isn’t concerned about my health , he fucking called me fat .

She continued to cloud her thoughts with disaproving opinions about herself . Marley cleaned up the leaking juice and threw the carton in the garbage can . Her cereal bowl went into the trash too.

I’m not even that big , I wear a size twelve , sometimes a ten . It’s because I’m not cute . Does he think I’m fat ? Tiana and I are the same size . Maybe I should cut out the sugar . I am fat .

She washed the stickiness off of her hands , dried them and walked back into her room . Down the hall where the return of their sex sounds was ever so prevalent. “Fuck him” she whispered loudly.

Like everyone, Marley had experienced a few insults in her lifetime. Self confidence and reassurance can only go so far . Only liars say things can’t hurt their feelings . Words hurt everybody . She crumbled into her safe bed and thought of the things she should have said back . But who was she kidding , there was no comeback that could have broke Erik down . She wished she had something on him , like “Thats why you failed high school” or “That’s why your father left your mom” but she didn’t know his history . She just knew his name and from the sounds of Tianas screams , she knew he could fuck .

She opened her phone again .

My bad , I didn’t see your text

She read Trey’s text and responded. Again , Marley knew he was lying , after four years she could read him like a book . Even through his text messages . She just wanted the feeling of touch from someone, even if that person endowed the most pain on her.

It’s fine , you sleep?

Nah , come thru

He knew what the 2am text meant . She needed him to make her feel good . Pulling pride to the side, Marley got dressed . Leggings, hoodie , and uggs. Whatever she wore would be snatched off as soon as she walked through his door . Well, depending on who was all there. Treys house was a never ending revolving door. Full of drugs , fights , a mother who let the streets raise her kids and everlasting drama. The stories Marley could tell about the time spent there were unbelievable.

I’ll be there in 15

She left , without telling Tiana. She was sure to have a few angry text messages from her cousin in the morning . Living with Tiana came with a dirty kitchen and attachment issues . Marley got into her car , when it heated to completion she left . Six more months , the lease that held both of their names would be over . Where Marley could move on with her life , new friends , new experiences, a new state . She hoped . But for now , Trey would do.

Hope you guys like the intro :)

#erik killmonger fanfiction #erik killmonger fanfic #erik killmonger imagine #black panther fanfic

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lokilickedme · 5 years

Text

(Okay, I’m going to do this in probably 3 parts because it’s long)

So The Department sorta happened because I wanted to get back into a regular weekly-updating online fic because, frankly, two reasons:

1) I’m worn out/exhausted/a bit burned out from working on novels and very little of anything else for the last year and a half, and

2) I crave/need the instant validation of the comment section at AO3, which you don’t get when you write a book :/

So I called a break, put away my manuscripts for a couple months, and am just indulging in some fun writing for a little while. And since I wanted something new (sorry WIPs, your time will come again) this is what we ended up with.

I don’t remember exactly what made me go with the police department premise. The potential for assholery and rampant egomania, most likely? Well, you know I love that shit when it hides something slightly more noble underneath...and I think I wanted a big ensemble cast because I just adore the dynamics that can occur in groups of disparate personalities who have known each other for a long time. That way they interact when they know each others’ secrets and there’s that one person new to the group who isn’t in on any of the jokes? Good stuff right there.

I do remember that the first ideas for this story came to me during the Professor Jeff’s Super Science Show at the library (yeah your guess is as good as mine on that but it happens literally every time). But if I’m being honest, I’d say it probably had more to do with Benny Hill than anything. I have this bad habit of sitting on the couch with my laptop on my knees, headphones on, head back, inventing scenes in my head that go along with whatever music I’m listening to. I’ve got this one insane playlist full of goofy tunes my 7-year old has requested for staging Thomas The Tank Engine crash scenes (don’t ask) and on this particular night that’s what I was listening to because why not. On that playlist is a 30-minute loop of the Benny Hill Theme. And all I could see in my head was a foot chase on ice and snow between a female officer, an out of shape Chief of police, a giraffe-legged office assistant, and a probably methed-up wannabe criminal who didn’t actually do anything major but was running anyway because he was bored. It struck me funny and I toyed with the idea of sticking it into something I already had started, because I do love me some chaotic slapstick.

So the next day I’m driving the boys home from the Super Science Show and I’ve been playing around with it in my head again, and it’s taking shape into something that I know I’m going to have to work with. We pass the Pupuseria Virolena Salvadoran restaurant downtown, and I start laughing because I’m suddenly hearing David Tennant trying to say that in his Scottish accent.

On the spot I named him Hawk and made him Captain. And now we have one of our characters, and by the time we pull up in our driveway ten minutes later I’ve got stuff needing to be written down right now.

(the rest is under the cut for length)

Chapter 1 - Prologue - Your Boatload of Bad Decisions Has Left The Harbor

I was so anxious to get into the story but it needed an introduction, or else Greta being in this podunk town wouldn’t have any weight. So we’re introduced to our heroine, who isn’t so much a heroine as just a decent if slightly too self confident special division officer who had some bad luck. It’s not elaborated on yet in the story, though it’s heavily referenced multiple times that she disobeyed an order and made the decision to continue a high speed pursuit that had been called off by her superior officer, the above-mentioned Captain Hawkins, whom Greta has something of a relationship with (yeah they’re screwing, what of it). And in the wake of that decision, Greta’s partner is killed and she’s brought up on charges, suspended, ordered to counseling, and finally shipped off to a small town in Minnesota so she can keep working while her final fate is decided by an investigative committee back in LA.

The opening chase scene was written from things I learned when I was a kid and my dad did vehicle tweaks for the Fort Worth police department from his auto shop. The officers used to hang out drinking Cokes and telling stories while dad made (possibly illegal) modifications to their cars. I was there a lot, sitting under his work bench with my books and pencils, listening to everything and remembering it all. And I thought it was so damn cool. So here we are. What else was I gonna do with that information? Might as well put it to use if it’s gonna be taking up real estate in my head for all these years.

For the record, I really liked Greta’s partner Joe and hated to kill him - but we needed a catalyst, and the cheerful best friend who sings Italian arias during chases while joyfully blasting out windshields is always gonna be the loser in the goner lottery. For once the male hero dies to further the female lead’s storyline.

Heh, take that Marvel.

Anyway, sorry Joe. There will be more about you in later chapters, so...gone but not forgotten.

Chapter 2 - Minnewhatever

This part starts out with the last bit of backstory we need to proceed. Hawk sending Greta off to Minnesota, a place whose name she never does remember or say correctly. She doesn’t figure she’s actually going to be there long enough to bother learning it, but Hawk informs her that her exile is likely to last at least a year, and he gives her very little reassurance that she won’t be serving every minute of her sentence.

Greta’s feeling a little betrayed here. She and Hawk have been sort of a thing for a while, friends and colleagues and lovers, but he’s washing his hands of the entire situation and she’s left angry and a bit bereft. But she still figures he’ll do something to get her out of it, if she’s patient and behaves herself in the new place.

Fast forward to day one in Weemeetwa. While drowning her aggravation in a bottle of the good stuff, Greta meets her first new acquaintance and decides to just go with the cranky fuck-it attitude that she’s been harboring since the incident, gets shitfaced, and goes home with the guy. This might have been a dual-purpose shag; Greta’s still feeling betrayed and abandoned by Hawk, so it’s a screw-you that he’ll never find out about - but that doesn’t stop it from feeling good in a vengeful sort of way. Plus it’s cold and she’s alone and the guy - Andy, a tall sweet longhaired cutiepie with an Irish accent - is all too willing to buy her a drink and take her home for some cuddles.

In the morning Greta wakes up in a strange place full of groaning regret and ends up giving Andy a ride to the station. She doesn’t count on seeing him again, so there’s no breath wasted on goodbyes.

Chapter 3 - A Logging Truck, A Mountain, and A Blonde Walk Into A Bar

Now we meet most of the department. Creeley, a gruff roughhouser with a rude streak forty miles wide, Sarah, the only other female in the department and possibly the only person alive who can keep the boys under control, Kevin, the quiet dispatch agent with an impressive mountain impersonation skill, and finally (for the moment) Chief, the slightly too good-looking and highly put-upon boss of them all.

I knew I wanted Tom Hiddleston to play Chief Tommy Davis. This is Kong Skull Island-era Hiddleston crossed with The Night Manager, with a handful of extra pounds around the middle and a frustrated sigh that goes on forever. He’s meant to be an ex hockey player who was waylaid on his way to the major leagues, so he’s strong and sturdy, but an injury benched him years ago and a career in small-town law enforcement has put him a bit to pasture. Middle aged, somewhere between 40 and 45. He’s got some stuff in his past but he’s happy now, for the most part, just living his life watching over the town.

Jason Momoa is Bobby Creeley, for obvious reasons. I knew I wanted a rowdy, rude, loudmouthed team member that’s always crossing everyone, but who everyone knows will be there no matter what if anything goes down. He’s instantly Greta’s nemesis from the moment she walks in the door. Gigantic and shaggy with a permanently amused nature and a fear of literally nothing, he’s simultaneously everyone’s best friend and worst enemy.

Sarah Lancashire has been finding her way into a lot of my fics lately as side characters, so it’s no surprise she ended up here as Sarah Pearl. Steely, tough, and highly immune to the idiocy around her, Sarah is the worn out voice of common sense that the department is running perilously short on. She’s also my first and foremost girl crush, and I’ll admit right now that I wrote an AU ending almost immediately that involved Sarah and Greta ending up together. It would be natural to assume Sarah would fall into the default role of mom to the group, but there’s a whole lot of oh hell nope wrapped around that trope. She would set them all on fire if anyone would let her have some matches, but Chief made a rule against that a long damn time ago.

Dave Bautista has been hanging around the back door of my muse stable for the longest, just minding his own business and waiting his turn, but I never really had any place to stick him. Well Drax, your time has come baby. I chose him to play Kevin Saylor based on his GoTG scene in which he tries to convince the crew he’s invisible. And that’s Kevin, in a nutshell. Huge and intimidating but quiet and intensely matter-of-fact in manner, he’s in charge of dispatch and immediately inspires Greta’s hatred of using the radio.

My first (and really only) faceclaim for Greta Morley was Zoe Saldana, but I waffled briefly for a couple of weeks, trying to cater to a few readers who told me they wanted to imagine themselves in the role. I planned to stick with that, and I tried, I promise I did. But every time Greta opened her mouth I heard Zoe, and by the time she went on her less than fleet-footed pursuit of Wilson with the longsuffering Andy by her side, she was locked in. Greta’s harboring some serious regret and raw emotional wounds from her not too distant past, and some time out in the American Midwest should be a much needed recovery sabbatical. Should be. But isn’t gonna.

Speaking of Andy...Andrew Hozier-Byrne was and is the only person I ever considered for the role of Andy Burns. Too tall, too clumsy, too cute, too sweet, just a whole bunch of too everything - he was perfect for the role and I may or may not have written it exclusively for him. Okay yeah, I wrote it exclusively for him. Andy’s the local cryptid, nobody really knows a lot about him. He may or may not be a drug dealer. He may or may not be officially employed by the police department. He may or may not be Irish or hypoglycemic or a blackout drunk or as goofy as he seems. Nobody really knows, and to be honest nobody really cares, because if you need it done Andy can do it...if he can remember you asked him to do it.

So Greta has arrived, for better or for worse. Cree immediately starts in with the sexist remarks and butchering her name, a favor she returns by embarking on what will become a neverending trail of obliterated mis-renderings of the town’s name. Creeley and Kevin kick off another of many running gags by arguing over whether or not anyone knew she was coming, and before things can get too stupid, Chief makes his first appearance.

And now things start to get interesting.

To be continued at chapter 4, Randy Andy and The Chief of Weemeetwa

@whatevervivie

#The Department #director's commentary #Hiddleston #Hozier #Momoa #Bautista #Saldana #Lancashire

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