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ptersparkers · 1 year

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reckless (aaron hotchner)

summary: After two years with the BAU, you get the feeling that Aaron Hotchner isn’t your biggest fan. That’s too bad, because you really like him.

notes: hello. this is singlehandedly the longest fic i’ve ever written (like 21.7K words). i didn’t intend for it to be this long and i tried to see where i could break it up, but i think it flows better if it’s in one piece. happy reading! x

(edit: adding in that the reader is fem)

a huge thank you to @hotchsdoormat for being the best person alive and for listening to me rant about this piece. love u forever.

warnings: typical criminal minds speak, kidnapping and mentions of broken arms and ribs and typos, probably.

***

Years of dreaming of becoming a federal agent for the Behavioral Analysis Unit led to the beginning of an illustrious career solving crimes and traveling across the country. It had only taken guest lectures by none other than the BAU themselves for the idea of catching killers and outsmarting them to do so to seep its way to the back of your mind.

You just wish you liked your job.

You like your work. You like walking into the office with a sense of purpose and you like profiling bad people and saving the good ones. You even like the shitty coffee that never seems to run out and you don’t mind the early call times and the sudden departures.

What you don’t like, however, is your boss. But you know that’s just because he doesn’t like you.

In your two years with the BAU, you don’t think you’ve ever seen Aaron throw a smile in your direction if it wasn’t meant for someone standing next to you. Two years of Aaron being dismissive and choosing to sit farthest from you in the conference room and on the jet. Two years of watching him foster friendships with your coworkers without sparing you a second glance. But work is work.

You’re an outsider. It’s almost what you expected.

Emily’s the first one to tell you that you don’t need to take it personally. Her rocky start with the BAU and stories of learning that trust takes time eased your worries for a while, but Aaron never seemed to give you the time of day aside collaborating with the rest of the team. Everyone says he’s notorious for being stoic and intimidating, but you don’t see it that way. In your mind, he loathes you.

Which is unfortunate, because you liked Aaron the most.

The guest lecture had sent you into a spiral of researching recently closed BAU cases and watching hours of press conferences led by Aaron. You appreciated the way he spoke about his work. He spoke about it like it was his due diligence and you liked that he treated each victim and their loved ones with grace and kindness.

It kills you to know that he doesn’t trust you despite doing your best in the field. Your six month review approached and you passed with flying colors, earning a short-lived celebration from Erin Strauss before she exited Aaron’s office. But he kept quiet the entire examination, aside from putting his own input with how you acted in the field. He said you were diligent, followed orders well enough, and could listen to directions. It was the most you’d ever heard Aaron speak about you, but the swell of pride didn’t last long.

Sometimes people compare the two of you when it comes to your worth ethic. Last ones to leave, can’t be bothered when focused, and the need to excel in your career field while downplaying your contribution. Perhaps the need to do good in the world catapulted you into considering a role where you’d be actively helping others instead of a career where it would be too late.

But every time you sit at your desk, opposite of Aaron’s office, you find yourself frowning. The blinds are always closed and you always wondered if Aaron could feel you staring at the emblem on his door when you wondered how you managed to keep your job.

“I can hear your brain all the way from here,” Derek says, leaning against the stall of your desk. You avert your eyes from the door to his voice. “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

“Nothing,” you say.

Derek gives you a look. “I know it’s not nothing, sweetness.”

“Just tired,” you lie, “I slept poorly last night.”

Your gaze focuses on the files in front of you and Derek looks between you and Aaron’s office. He does his best not to let you know it’s been affecting him too; everyone’s noticed how Aaron’s been giving you the short end of the stick and that his wavering trust hasn’t disappeared like it had for the rest of them. It doesn’t do any good for team morale.

For a moment in the beginning of your time with the BAU, you think he’s asking you to prove yourself. You’re new, you need to get used to team dynamics, and you need to prove yourself capable before he can trust that you’d have everyone’s back. You understand that.

What you don’t understand, however, is why he treats you like a first-day agent after your contributions.

“Alright,” Derek says, knowing better than to pry you out of your work. “Coffee?”

“Please.”

He leaves you momentarily when Aaron steps out of his office. You try not to look up, but it’s hard to ignore him when your desk is pointed in front of his door. He’s wearing a classic black suit with a red tie, belt and shoes to match. You know what the look on his face means–there’s a case.

“Everyone in the conference room,” Aaron pointedly says.

Derek finishes pouring two cups of coffee and brings it over to the room where he sees you sitting in front of the screen. You thank him for the cup as he sits beside you and Reid gives you a small ‘good morning’ before everyone files into the conference room and their attentions are focused on the faces on the screen.

“Two children have gone missing in Los Angeles, California,” Penelope begins. “Gracie and Olivia McCormack, four and six respectively, were last seen in their shared bedroom last night and LAPD has contacted us to help find them.”

“Looks like the mother reported going into their bedroom to wake them up, only to find them missing,” you say, frowning.

“Is the father in the picture?” JJ asks.

“Jaqueline, the mother, divorced Scott McCormack before her youngest was born,” Penelope informs.

“New flame?” Emily wonders.

“Yes ma’am. Logan James.” Penelope presses a few buttons and Jaqueline and Logan appear on the screen. “This is where it gets tricky.”

“It looks like both Scott and Logan were abusive towards Jaqueline during their marriages,” David reads from the file.

“Jaqueline’s pretty familiar with the local hospital,” you mutter.

“We can talk about the file and start to strategize on our way to LA,” Aaron says, packing his file in his go-bag, which is already in hand. “Wheels up in thirty.”

***

The six hour plane ride doesn’t feel as nauseating as you had predicted. Your second cup of coffee sits on the table in front of you as your file is displayed on the surface, along with everyone else. Departure wasn’t terrible, mild turbulence followed but nothing you couldn’t handle. The armrest becomes your best friend on these flights.

“Did Scott kidnap Gracie and Olivia because he wants his kids?” Derek says aloud.

“Most likely,” Reid adds. “Scott’s a migrant construction worker. I can’t imagine anyone letting him raise two children without a steady home or income, though.”

“So he’s angry at the loss of his children and wants them back,” Aaron says. “Garcia, does Scott have any background of domestic abuse prior to his marriage with Jaqueline?”

“One count of domestic battery with a former girlfriend, but his childhood tells us a whole different story.”

“What is it, babygirl?” Derek beckons.

“Scott was born to heroin addicts and they’d leave him in hotel rooms for days while they tried to rob local convenience stores for money, presumably for their next high. Poor kid, he never stood a chance.”

“Damn,” Derek says, shaking his head. “I can’t imagine growing up like that.”

“He was put into the care of his grandparents on his mother’s side until he was six and–oh, ouch–he apparently caused too much trouble for himself that his grandparents gave him to the foster care system.”

“I can imagine that abandonment took a toll on Scott,” JJ says.

“Take the kids away from Jacqueline as punishment,” adds Rossi. “Makes sense, especially when Jacqueline was the one to file for divorce.”

“What about Jaqueline’s marriage with Logan? Haven’t we established that Logan was abusive during their marriage?” you ask.

Aaron raises his eyebrow. “What about it?”

“I think it’s important to consider him in all of this, Sir. If Logan was abusive to Jaqueline throughout their marriage, maybe Scott sees this kidnapping as some sort of effort to save them from harm.”

All eyes are on you now. It makes your skin crawl and you hope you don’t say the wrong thing.

“Go on.”

“If Scott really did take his kids, I don’t know if he did it to get back at her by kidnapping them. It makes more sense that Scott would want to save his children from an abuser. I mean, he knows what it’s like to live with abusive and absent parents. What if Scott wants to protect his children from suffering what he went through?”

“Interesting,” Dave hums. “You’re theorizing that Scott considers this kidnapping as rescuing?”

You nod. “It makes sense. Maybe he has some animosity towards Jaqueline for letting Logan into their lives and retaliates by taking his children away from her because he thinks he’s saving them.”

“Let’s not jump to conclusions,” Aaron says pointedly.

“I’m just spitballing,” you say. “I’m not trying to step on anyone’s toes.”

“Well, let’s keep it that way.”

You shut your mouth and revert your eyes back to the file that’s in your lap, desperate for any minute distraction it can give you. The rest of the team is stunned in silence and Spencer tries his best to fill in the awkward silence by reviewing all of the facts that have been listed in the report.

At this moment, you feel small. Aaron’s dismissive attitude makes you feel somewhat inadequate at your job and you find it difficult to remind yourself of all the cases you’ve helped close when your boss has just undermined your work in front of your colleagues.

His coldness towards you is what you don’t get. Aaron has a reputation for maintaining professionalism, which you can appreciate, but it seems like his stoic tendencies extend far beyond keeping it civil in the workplace. It feels like you’ve been isolated and boxed out from day one and despite having gotten to know the rest of the team on a deeper level, you still walk on eggshells around Aaron. It makes you wonder why he hired you at all.

From the other side of the plane, Aaron takes a seat in an empty chair and looks out the window pensively. He knows he’s being hard on you and he knows it’s unfair that he’s treating you much harsher than the others, but Aaron knows that it’s for the best.

When you walked into his office for your initial interview, there was no doubt that you were the perfect candidate to fill in the role as a new profiler. Your past experiences had clued you into profiling and he promised Strauss that your addition to the team would benefit the BAU as a whole.

And Aaron was right. Cases were closing at a higher rate than previously, your quick thinking and problem solving skills aided the capture of many prolific criminals, and it almost felt like you’d been with the team since the beginning.

What Aaron didn’t account for, however, was developing feelings for you.

All it took was a simple undercover operation to see you in a completely different light. The unsub had targeted women who looked like you and you were more than ready to step up to the plate to catch him. It took seeing you in a sleek black dress to make Aaron’s heart lurch out of his chest and make him feel like he was a teenager in love all over again, and he hated it.

He hated feeling this way towards his coworker. For weeks, his mind bounced around the idea of what it might cost the team; your respective positions might cause an interference because of the dating policy set in place and how it would look from the outside. Aaron didn’t want to jeopardize your career by making it seem like you were providing unprofessional favors if news were to come out that you were romantically linked with him. He didn’t want your career to be damaged just because he couldn’t keep it in his pants.

Moreover, Aaron hadn’t felt like this towards anyone since marrying Haley.

He had dated casually but never thought about the possibility of anything serious coming out of it. Aaron thought he might’ve come close to it when he had dated Beth for a while, but her career taking her across the country made him realize how unstable his life already was. Dating became a question of who gets along with Jack and the rest of his family and who is able to handle his frequent absences. His marriage to Haley showed Aaron the downside of traveling all the time and he’d be damned if he made that mistake again.

The idea of liking you in any capacity that wasn’t professional scared Aaron to death. He hates that he’s willing to find any excuse to walk by your desk or strike up a conversation with you if time permitted. He hates that his mind often wanders to a life of domesticity with you. The only logical possibility for him to combat his feelings for you is to keep you at arms length and treat you like he would any of his coworkers, which means keeping your personal lives separate and maintaining professionalism at all times.

It works a little too well and Aaron doesn’t realize it. He misplaces his anger—the frustration of knowing he can’t have you the way he wants you—and you’re at the receiving end. Aaron thinks he’s doing his best by delegating and separating you from him in the field, but he doesn’t realize that it’s causing professional tension because you constantly think you aren’t doing enough to help the team solve cases and catch criminals.

Aaron spends the rest of the flight looking over reports the precinct sent over before the plane lands in Los Angeles. You elect to keep your nose buried in your reports for the fear of looking like you aren’t working hard enough.

***

The Los Angeles weather has cooled down when you land and Aaron has ordered everyone to head to the precinct first thing after touching down. The detectives are kind enough to reserve a room for all of you to work out of and you waste no time setting up the white board with the missing girls and timeline of the abduction.

The stakes are high and you can feel the tension in the room. You aren’t a stranger to cases like these and you know that everyone is trying their best to keep themselves together for the sake of the department and the family of the victims. You try not to read into Aaron’s coldness to you too much. You’ve convinced yourself enough times that it’s the stress of the job and being away from his home that keeps him running on pure stress and adrenaline to prevent you from overthinking your position on his team.

Aaron has you and Spencer stay behind in the precinct to work on the profile and piece together a timeline of the abduction, and you’re more than grateful you don’t have to spend time in the field with him. The relaxation enters your body the section you see him step out of the precinct and Spencer can’t help but pry.

“You okay?” he asks.

You turn around from the white board and your sleeve smudges the freshly written text. The annoyance bubbles up in your chest and you hastily erase the mess you created and rewrite it before turning your attention back to Spencer.

“Stressed out, but otherwise I’m good.”

He pauses. “You’ve seemed that lately, though.”

“Can you blame me?” you ask defensively. “Our job isn’t exactly low-stress.”

“It’s just that every time Hotch enters the room, you stiffen up and you seem to lose your voice, and you play with your nails. It’s your biggest tell, actually.”

You give Spencer a pointed look. “Reid, I did not ask to be profiled.”

“Sorry,” he relents. “I just…look, I care about you and I hate seeing that you feel like you can’t share your ideas with us. Is something bothering you?”

You know Spencer knows. You’re sure the team knows why you’re apprehensive about your work and second guess yourself every time you bring forth a new theory or concept. But it’s hard to admit it out loud when all you’ve done is complain about him in your head and push your feelings aside for the sake of solving cases.

But you know Spencer has always looked out for you after the first time you took a bullet for him a week into the job after barely getting to know each other. It’s the same way that he looks out for you in the field, protecting your cover and being the first to volunteer partnering with you when Aaron asks. He’s keen and perceptive, and you know you can’t hide your feelings from him unless you want to jeopardize another relationship with your coworker.

“I feel like Hotch doesn’t like me,” you say earnestly. “And I mean it in a way that seems almost personal.”

“He’s been pretty distant,” Spencer adds.

You shake your head. “It feels like he doesn’t trust my judgment or values what I have to say unless one of you backs me up. I can’t really tell you when I started to feel this way, but I’ve always felt like I have to walk on eggshells around him or else he’ll fire me.”

“No one’s going to fire you,” Spencer reassures. “You have an exceptional skill at finding unsubs and getting into their heads. It’s quite impressive how you’re able to put yourself in their shoes.”

“Thanks, I think,” you say with a laugh. “But you saw what happened on the plane. Hotch shot down my theory and told me not to jump to any conclusions even though I was just theorizing. I feel like he doesn’t want to listen to what I have to say because he doesn’t think there’s any value in it.”

Spencer pauses. He sees your grip on the dry erase pen and knows how frustrated you feel. He knows you, the way you think, your work ethic, and just how badly you want to save these girls. He also knows how to distract you from your own feelings.

“Then tell me about your theory,” Spencer chides.

“Scott might’ve taken his children as a form of punishment against Jaqueline. Sure, I think that’s a plausible theory to go off of, considering she was the one who filed for divorce. But he was never abusive towards the girls, whereas Logan was abusive to all three of them.”

He smiles when he knows it’s working.

“So you’re thinking that Scott is trying to rescue Gracie and Olivia from further abuse?”

“Yes,” you confirm. “As a parent, I can’t imagine tolerating a stranger abusing your kids. Maybe in Scott’s mind, Jaqueline was allowing Logan to abuse them without realizing he was doing the same to her.”

“The wife had full custody of the kids too,” Spencer adds, opening a case file. “He was only allowed supervised visits with a social worker present if she allowed it to happen and in the time they’ve been divorced, she hadn’t let Scott see them since she and Logan got together.”

“Okay, so Scott had enough and wanted to take matters into his own hands. If his ex-wife won’t take care of the kids and neither will her new husband, it’s up to him to take care of the girls.”

“It looks like Scott’s had a problem with authoritative figures his entire life,” he says, frowning. Spencer turns the case file towards you. “His grandparents were physically and emotionally abusive and social workers did nothing about it. Looks like he was also a truant during his time in foster care.”

“Get this. He’s been fired from multiple construction sites because he couldn’t follow orders,” you read.

“Jacqueline was also the breadwinner of their relationship. I think Scott resents people who hold authority.”

“Scott wants to raise his kids,” you say, snapping your fingers. “It’s a rescue mission because he thinks he can raise them better than she can.”

Spencer grabs his phone and dials Aaron.

“What is it, Spencer?”

“Y/N and I talked more about her theory on the abduction. I think she’s right.”

Aaron doesn’t say anything. You’re almost sure he’s going to tell you to change the profile.

“We’ll meet you at the precinct in fifteen.”

***

You consider yourself lucky that Spencer backs your theory with claims and evidence. Your voice wavers multiple times when Aaron asks you to make your case, and the way he’s looking at you makes you doubt yourself.

But everyone comes to the realization that you’re right. A few conversations with Jacqueline and an interrogation with Logan convinces Aaron that your theory had been the correct one all along. You should feel happy, but you don’t.

You feel like you have to piggyback off of your coworkers and get them to support you before you can make your case heard. You feel like the smallest person in the room when you stand next to seasoned profilers who you’re sure Aaron values more than you. The weight of the world is on your shoulders and you carry it with you every time you formulate new ideas you want to share with the team.

But you don’t dwell on this too long.

Aaron has Spencer comb through security footage of local gas stations while Emily and David talk to Scott’s most recent employer. Derek and JJ are searching his last known whereabouts and searching for the girls, which leaves you and Aaron.

You’re barely able to hear his command. He wants you to talk to Jacqueline and try to coax more information out of her while he connects with Penelope about financial records and possible places he’s hiding the girls. She’s your age and he figures you might connect with her better than JJ did.

Jaqueline is understandably crying when you walk into the room. You hand her a box of tissues upon entering and she doesn’t say anything. She starts to open up after you tell her about yourself, your nieces and nephews, and you show her photos of them to prove yourself. You let her know you’re not a mother and can’t imagine the immense pain she’s going through, but you know what it’s like to care for people and how much it hurts when something bad happens to them.

Slowly, Jaqueline begins to talk. You ask her about her relationship with Scott and Logan, and all the important places that hold significance between the two marriages. She lists off a few and you make a note of it for later. Aaron calls you from the interview when Jaqueline has started to close herself in. He lets her go and gives her his business card in case she wants to talk, but tells her they’ll be in contact soon.

He doesn’t say a word about the interrogation. He just tells you to see if Derek and JJ need help canvassing more area.

Two days later and the team is nowhere near finding Jaqueline’s children. Scott’s previous employer had less than stellar things to say about him and you’re beginning to panic at the thought of your ability to catch him and save the girls. Penelope calls with a development and thinks one of two locations is where Scott might be hiding the children. His trailer in East LA or a small house a friend of his owns.

Aaron dispatches Dave, Emily, and JJ to the trailer while he commands you, Derek, and Spencer to follow him to the house. It’s located off of the freeway off the beaten path and you have a bad feeling about what’s about to happen.

Aaron’s driving like he knows something you don’t. You’ve taken a seat in the back with Spencer and listen as Derek points Aaron in the direction of the house. It’s getting dark outside, the sun is just barely above the horizon, and you know everyone has to be quick in order to save the girls if they’re in the house.

LAPD officers drive behind the SUV. Aaron pulls over and you can hear the gravel underneath the tire. You swing the door open with all your might and draw your gun out as the rest of the team does, following Aaron’s orders to follow behind him as they explore the house.

It’s quiet. Too quiet.

The floorboards creak underneath you and Aaron tells you he’s going to clear the back of the house while you take the front. Everyone calls a distinctive ‘clear’ and you’re about to breathe out of frustration and ask Aaron if they’ve found the girls at Scott’s trailer when you hear the faint sound of someone crying from behind you.

You’re careful not to step too loudly despite the hardwood floors. Derek finds you and calls out your name but you put your finger to your lips and he silences himself. The sound of feet shuffling sounds incredibly quiet, but you swear you can hear footsteps somewhere behind you.

Spencer and Aaron join the two of you after hearing silence despite calling your names. Derek tells both men to silence themselves as you walk about the room, unsure of what you’re looking for. For the most part, nothing looks out of place. That is, until your hand falls on a set of books that feels much too hollow to contain any pages.

“What is it?” Derek asks from behind you.

“I don’t know…I think this is a false backing.”

And you’re right. You pull the books to reveal a small hidden entryway that’s dark, and it looks like it doesn’t lead to anything. Aaron’s halfway through telling you to let another police officer look through the crawl space because you have to take off your vest and gun to fit, but you’re not hearing it.

“Hotch, I’m the only one who’s small enough to fit through here,” you say. “I’m shorter than the rest of you and all of you are men. I don’t think Gracie or Olivia want to see someone who looks like their dad.”

“She’s right,” Spencer mumbles. You don’t wait for Aaron’s approval, venturing into the crawlspace.

Gracie and Olivia are understandably scared until you tell them their mother’s waiting for them at the police station. You help them out of the small room they’ve been kept in and notice how relatively furnished it is–a mattress, blankets, pillows, and coloring material–and make note of how your profile was right.

You don’t spare a glance at Aaron, too invested in making sure the children are safe with EMTs while they’re being checked for harm. Olivia asks you to stay with them and holds your hand, and you don’t bring yourself to leave them. When the EMTs let you know they aren’t injured and can visit the police station without going to the hospital, Aaron reluctantly lets you accompany both of them back to the precinct.

It’s well after dark by the time both children leave with Jaqueline. JJ and Emily have worked out a deal with local police to keep them under surveillance and protection until Scott has been captured and are instructed not to let Logan near the three of them for the time being.

You aren’t able to say goodbye to the three of them, instead recounting your story to the local detective who needs your statement for the paperwork while it’s fresh in your memory. You’re on a high after seeing the two girls reunite with their mother and the entire team congratulates you on a job well done when Aaron storms into the office, angry.

“Y/N, go back to the hotel.”

Aaron stands tall, his hands on his hips and his mouth etched in an angry frown. His voice is low and you can’t believe the words you’re hearing.

“To the hotel? Hotch, you can’t be serious.”

“You made a reckless decision to abandon your gun and vest. That could have gotten you killed,” Aaron says. “You are not capable of working under pressure.”

“You told the entire team to use our instincts and that’s exactly what I did. I saved two little girls, for God’s sake.”

“You are hot headed and have this overwhelming urge to prove yourself when nobody cares how well you perform,” Aaron says angrily. “The entire time you’ve been with the BAU, you’ve barely contributed aside from piggybacking off of someone else to reach a conclusion.”

That, you know, is a lie. Aaron just wants to hurt you.

“At this very moment, you are incompetent and can’t hold yourself together for the sake of the victims and their families.”

“We have to catch Scott.”

“You can’t do your job, go back to the hotel.”

“That’s not fair.”

“I don’t have to be.”

“Hotch.”

“I want you gone, Y/N,” Aaron says firmly. “Go back to the hotel or hand in your badge.”

Unbelievable.

You don’t spare Aaron another glance. Your feet carry you out to the lobby and your breath is so uneven that you need to step aside into an empty interrogation room to calm yourself down. Your jaw clenches and you ball your fists to gather some sort of relief, but you don’t find it. Instead, your nails dig into your palm until it turns white and you let go, exiting the room without another word.

The keys to the SUV are still in your pocket. You don’t necessarily care that the team will have to squeeze into the remaining vehicles and you don’t care enough to let one of them know you’ve made it outside.

Your hands shake when you reach into your pocket. The warmth of the metal is familiar and your hand pulls it out when a stray tear falls from your face and splashes onto your cheek. Hastily, you enter the car and slam the door shut and lock it when you feel yourself overcome with sadness and anxiety.

The tears fall freely at this point and you bow your head to the steering wheel, your breaths hot and mouth wet from crying. The back of your sleeves are soaked as you try to wipe away your tears to no avail and your vision becomes too blurry to drive.

You allow yourself a few minutes to cry. The sound of your gasps echo throughout the care and your shoulders feel heavy with every sob. The weight of the world is truly on your shoulders now and you aren’t sure if you have a job when you go back to Quantico.

But you pull yourself together and drive back to the hotel. It feels much longer than it needs to be and you sit in the driver’s seat for a moment when you park the car. You hate that you feel incapable of being a member of the team without Aaron breathing down your neck. You hate that you can’t live up to his expectations and that you try to in the first place. Working at the BAU wasn’t supposed to be a nightmare.

You exit the car and lock it behind you, another stray tear escaping. You feverishly rid yourself of the tear and walk to the entrance of the hotel when you feel someone grabbing you from behind and an acute sense of pain at the base of your neck.

It’s black after that.

Back in the station, the local police have distracted themselves with their case files and other happenings while the rest of the team looks at Aaron in shock. Spencer's looking at the empty space where you stood and Emily is looking at Aaron like he’s grown a second head.

“Are you serious?” she begins. “Hotch, we need everyone on this. We need Y/N.”

“She’s too hot headed,” Aaron replies.

“Oh yeah?” Derek chimes in. “And how about you?”

“This isn’t about me.”

“You know damn well that Y/N adds as much value to this team as the rest of her. Two years with the BAU and stellar reviews from the board has proven that. Why are you still treating her like a first-day agent?”

“Y/N needs to learn to let go of her ego,” Aaron retaliates. “I don’t need to explain myself to any of you.”

“You’re wrong about her not contributing anything,” Spencer says. It surprises Aaron to hear Reid defy him on your behalf. “For the cases that we’ve worked on with her, she’s been the one to take lead on the preliminary profiles for most of them. Some of our biggest leads have come from her.”

Aaron breathes and doesn’t say a thing. He looks at his team and knows they don’t approve of his choice to send you back to the hotel, but he stands by it. David looks at him like he’s almost disappointed in him and JJ holds his stare.

He knows why he’s being extra hard on you. He knows he’s pushing you to your limit by keeping you at arm’s length. Aaron doesn’t want to admit that he sees you as anything other than his subordinate and coworker, but he does. He doesn’t want to be the reason why you don’t advance within the bureau and why there might be a future workplace ban on relationships. Even if he disagrees with how you handled things tonight.

Aaron doesn’t communicate any of this with the team while he stares them down. Instead, he fixes his posture and clears his throat.

“Get back to work.”

***

When you come to, you’re acutely aware of the handcuffs around your wrist.

The air is cold and you realize you’re bound to a pole in a barn, and you’re not sure where you are. Everything is suddenly hazy and your vision blurs until you blink rapidly with the hope that you’ll regain full consciousness.

The first thing you can feel is a headache. Your head’s pounding viciously and you wince at the pain, inadvertently tugging in your wrist and against the handcuffs. The metal is cold and it sends a chill up your spine when you realize you’re alone. You try your best to recite what you can sense over and over again in your mind.

The air is cold. You’re sitting on a hard floor with straw and other debris around you. The air smells like manure and hay. You can hear crickets and wind blowing just outside of the barn, and you can see hardware tools towards the back of the building.

The influx of emotions that creep into your chest is enough to make any person an anxiety-ridden mess. Your heart feels like it’s going to lurch out of your chest with every second that passes by because your reality becomes more real; this isn’t a nightmare you’re desperately hoping to wake up from.

“Look who’s awake.”

It’s Scott.

He flickers the lights on and that’s when you realize he’s holding a gun.

“You took quite a while to wake up, actually. I’ve been waiting here for two hours wondering when you’d return to the land of the living.”

Scott dons a smirk that you wish you could wipe off with both of your fists. His right hand grips the gun haphazardly and he waves it around as he gestures while speaking, and the fear of dying has finally crept into the forefront of your mind.

“Where are we?” you ask.

“South of Los Angeles,” Scott replies. “Far enough that your little team won’t find this patch of land.”

“Why’s that?”

His smirk widens when you stay quiet.

“You know, Agent, I find you interesting.”

“There’s nothing remotely interesting about me,” you say. You try your best to remember the profile and give him what he wants. He hates authority and between the two of you, you legally have all of it. So, you downplay yourself,

“I beg to differ,” he laughs. Scott takes a step towards you and you recoil. “I’ve been watching this investigation unfold because I need to keep tabs on what’s happening so that I don’t get caught. It’s worked so far, but you were just lucky to have found my little girls.”

“We found them because you made a mistake,” you chide. “You slipped up.”

Scott’s smirk turns into anger, and he takes another step towards you.

“I made a mistake because I wasn’t thinking far ahead, Agent.”

He takes another step and he’s by your thigh. Scott bends down to your level and you’re aware of how close his gun is to your abdomen, and you pray that you don’t say the wrong thing.

“I wasn’t thinking far ahead because I couldn’t see the bigger picture. But it came to me a few nights ago when I realized that you and I are people that don’t naturally get to be in the spotlight.”

Scott caresses your cheek and you shudder underneath his fingertips. He retracts and stands up, pacing back and forth in front of you.

“See, you and I are people who don’t get enough credit for our work. All it took was one moment watching your horrendous boss dismiss you for your work. I knew you’d be the key in getting my girls back to me.”

“What are you talking about?”

Scott leans forward. “You’re smart enough to figure it out.”

Unfortunately, it comes to you quickly.

The team had gathered around the house that Jaqueline and Scott had lived in when they were married. Penelope had clued the team in on this location. A new couple lived in that house with no connection to Jaqueline and Scott but you thought it was worth checking out.

Aaron disagreed. That house hadn’t been occupied by either of them for years since they got a divorce but your gut had been telling you to visit the property to look around for extra clues that might’ve turned up. Your insistence angered him, who accused you of disobeying orders, and it was David who had to intervene and remind Aaron never to leave any stone unturned.

Reluctantly, Aaron ordered the team to the house and you successfully convinced the new owners to let you look through their property with the promise that nothing would be disturbed. Two hours into searching and Aaron was ready to write your mishappenings in the file report when he returned to Quantico, but your sudden interest in the backyard piqued everyone’s interest.

You had discovered a well-hidden doorway to an underground room. The new family would’ve never seen it, as it was tucked away with roots and other invasive plants that covered the wooden doorway. When you and Morgan entered the space, it was clear that Scott had been there recently.

Unbeknownst to you, Scott has been hiding out a few houses down watching everything unfold, including the way Aaron distrusted your judgment. He’d been using that bunker as a living space, careful to work around the new family so as to not get caught. It was far enough that they couldn’t see him from where the windows were placed unless they were out in the backyard the same as he was.

“Remember now?” he asks.

You nod, complying. “You watched my boss reprimand me for wasting everyone’s time.”

He nods. “You and I are overworked and underappreciated. We don’t get credit or recognition even though we deserve it.”

“You knew we’d find Gracie and Olivia.”

Scott’s jaw locks but he agrees.

“I knew there was no way I’d be able to get to my girls in time to move them someplace else. So, I let you find them because I knew that I’d have no other chance to get them back if you arrested me.

“Then I followed you all the way back to the precinct so I could keep tabs on you and see where you were staying. It was just my luck that I happened to hear your boss yelling at you because of an open window. I knew my chance was when he ordered you to go back to the hotel.”

“How do I fit into all of this?” you ask.

“You, Agent, are going to help me get my kids back from Jaqueline and cover for me.”

“No chance in hell.”

Scott doesn’t like that answer. He lunges towards you and tugs on your hair, enough to make your scalp feel like it’s being set on fire.

“You don’t have a choice. I want my kids back and you aren’t in the position to make any demands.”

He doesn’t say much after that. Scott looks into your eyes with a murderous expression before letting you go. Your head hits the pole behind you because he pushed you away with enough force that it makes you dizzy again.

“We’ll talk tomorrow,” Scott says from the barn’s entrance. “I need some sleep and so do you.”

He doesn’t uncuff you and you’re left wondering how you can sleep when you’re being held captive.

***

When the team leaves the precinct, everyone is too drained to continue talking about the case on the ride back. They’d only been there two hours after you left but Aaron gets the feeling that the rest of them aren’t happy with him dismissing you.

The ride is silent and everyone retreats to their rooms respectively. He tries to forget the aching feeling in his chest and goes to sleep.

He wakes up to a cold sweat.

Aaron’s still not happy what perspired last night. He nearly made the choice to knock on your door and apologize for being harsh in front of the team and the local police, but he doesn’t. It’s better to put distance. It’s how he rationalizes how he’s treating you because he’ll fall apart if he imagines the consequences of being in a relationship with you.

You’re the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up. He’s surprised he didn’t hear you knocking on his door to give him a piece of your mind, but he was too tired to consider that you didn’t.

His clock reads six A.M. and he’s sure the rest of the team is waking up and heading to the police station like he is. Aaron feels more tired with each day passing and it feels like his body is on autopilot mode with how fast he’s able to change and get to the precinct.

The team trickles in one by one and everyone makes their coffee before picking up where they left off last night. Penelope had sent the team a list of possible places that Scott might be and Aaron wants to cover as much ground as possible.

When he’s more awake, he mentally groups the team and the other police officers to search each property.

He stops when he realizes you’re not in the precinct.

At first, Aaron feels annoyed because he thinks you’re late. It isn’t completely out of character for you, as he’s watched you stumble into the office a few minutes before debriefing. Still, he prays that you’ll show up so everyone can move on with their day.

But you don’t come in. Every person that walks through the door isn’t you and Aaron’s annoyance becomes a question of curiosity with fear at the end of it.

“Where’s L/N?” Morgan asks from beside him.

“Probably slept in,” JJ snorts. “She sleeps like a brick.”

Everyone laughs at her comment in good fun because they know it’s true. You’re a heavy sleeper. But Aaron isn’t convinced. Something doesn’t feel right to him but he can’t quite place what it is.

He gives it another ten minutes. Aaron’s bouncing from leg to leg, anticipating your arrival. He’s waiting for you to hastily apologize about not hearing your alarm and he’s waiting for you to jump right where you left off because of your tardiness.

But you never walk through the door.

“Something’s wrong,” Aaron mutters. Spencer nods at his disheveled expression from where he sits and Emily looks down at her phone.

“I know she’s a heavy sleeper but there’s no way she’d be twenty minutes late with the stakes this high,” Emily points out.

JJ walks out of the room the BAU is occupying and inquires with everyone outside if they’ve seen you come in, but all of them say they haven’t seen you since last night. JJ walks back into the room with shaking hands and she’s almost reluctant to tell Aaron that nobody has seen you yet.

Emily tries to call your cell phone one more time with no luck. Aaron sends Derek to check on you at the hotel and doesn't bother to respect the speed limit on the ten minute drive to the hotel from the station. The receptionist is more than willing to give him a key to your room when you don’t answer your phone.

When he walks in, he notices that you aren’t sleeping in the bed. Your room is clean. The bed is made and there’s no indication that you slept in it last night. Your go-bag is perched on the table and a few clothes are haphazardly thrown on the chair beside it. Nothing seems out of place.

It’s when he walks back outside to return to the station that he hears a phone ringing from the bushes. Derek walks towards the sound and his breath catches in his throat when he realizes the phone is yours. He curses and picks up the phone to see Emily’s contact.

“L/N?”

“It’s me,” Derek says through your phone. “L/N’s not here and her phone was tossed in the bushes.” Metal catches Derek’s eye. “Wait a minute.”

He walks forward with caution and his heart drops when he realizes it’s a discarded needle and your gun right next to it.

“What is it?” Emily asks from the other line. She hears Derek sigh and she knows it can’t be good.

“It’s a needle and her gun, Prentiss. L/N not showing up to the precinct and her belongings being discarded can’t be a coincidence.”

From the police station, Emily panics. She hangs up when Derek lets her know he’s coming back and her panic rises when she sees her teammates looking at her quizzically. The lump in her throat grows when she realizes everyone is looking at her for an answer.

“Did you find her?” JJ asks. Emily doesn’t speak for a second.

“Morgan found her cell phone in the bushes by the front of the hotel,” Emily explains. “He also found a discarded needle...and her gun.”

Aaron’s attention shifts from the file he’s holding to Emily, who’s fidgeting with her hands.

“Her gun?” Dave asks for clarification. “Found outside of the hotel room?”

Emily nods. “Morgan picked up L/N’s phone and said he found it tossed aside.”

“And none of us saw her when she left the precinct?”

Nobody says anything.

“I think she’s been kidnapped,” Reid says abruptly. “None of us saw her when we got back to the hotel nor when we arrived at the precinct. Scott must know Y/N was the one who rescued his daughters and he’s either kidnapped her out of revenge or because he wants them back.”

Aaron doesn’t like that answer.

His hands feel warm and his heart is racing too quickly for his liking. Aaron can feel his exterior start to wither away with the realization that you’ve been kidnapped and he doesn’t second guess himself when he calls Penelope and asks her to track Scott’s cell phone and to triangulate his last known location.

This is now a rescue mission and he hates that you’re the victim.

The team doesn’t spare a second in finding a third location he could’ve taken you too. Penelope foregoes any of her other responsibilities to find you and Aaron can hear the frantic pace of her keyboard typing as she speaks. Derek and Spencer are visiting locations that hold significance to Scott in the event that he’s returned, but Aaron's doubtful that he’d make that mistake.

It’s when JJ explains what’s happening to the lead detective does Aaron feel like his world is crumbling around him. He’s put himself at arm’s length so much as to push you away from him and right into the arms of the unsub, and he feels like he might pass out in the middle of the precinct.

Emily and Dave pick up how quiet Aaron’s been ever since Penelope hung up. He’s too busy staring at the white board and it doesn’t help that your handwriting is all over it. Aaron’s throat is dry and he’s a second away from starting to blame himself for your disappearance, but he knows that he doesn’t have enough time to feel sorry for himself if he wants to find you.

When Derek comes back and tells the team there’s been no luck in finding you, Aaron’s heart sinks. He’s running out of options and he knows his head isn’t where it should be, but he can’t help it. Aaron does his best to keep himself composed when Spencer tries to piece together your timeline and he hates that they’re treating you like a abduction victim because you should be in this room with them. Instead, you’re God knows where and Aaron doesn’t bring himself to imagine that you might be dead already.

It’s Spencer who makes the connection between you and his children. He theorizes that Scott must’ve been present when you had rescued the children and kidnapped you for one of two reasons: to exact revenge or to force you to help him get his children back. JJ suspects that it’s the latter because of your profile. Scott wants to get his children back and he’d do anything to do it.

Dave wonders why Scott would risk kidnapping a federal agent and how he knew you’d be at the precinct or the hotel, and Spencer doesn’t hold his tongue when he said the only common link between the two of you is the way you’d both been treated by your superiors.

The room goes quiet and Spencer thinks he’s overstepped, but he doesn’t regret his choice of words.

Everyone looks at Aaron, who’s been silent the entire time. He thinks about how angry you were last night and how he convinced himself he didn’t see you shed a tear as you passed him. The guilt of sending you home and not checking in on you when he got back to the hotel is eating him alive because you’ve been missing for twelve hours and nobody knew about it.

“Reid’s right,” Aaron says. He feels his voice start to break. “We know why he’s taken L/N but now we need to understand how he’s going to use her in order to get his children back.”

Aaron’s phone rings and he’s grateful for the distraction. Penelope informs them of a house that was paid in all cash and purchased under a false identity a few months ago, and confirms that it was Scott who paid for the property after speaking with the realtor and showing her a photo. Aaron wastes no time ordering the team to head to the house and he feels like he’s running out of time when Penelope says the property is seventy miles from the precinct.

The ride to the property is agonizing. Aaron’s grip on the steering wheel is lethal and he’s swerving between every car with the hopes that he’ll reach you in time. Emily’s sitting in the passenger seat and she knows there’s nothing either of them can do except hope that you’re alive and well.

“We’ll find her,” she says after a long period of silence. “You know L/N. She’s strong and won’t go down without a fight.”

Aaron hesitates to speak. He gulps and he feels like his mouth is far too dry to hold a decent conversation because while he knows that Emily’s right, he can’t help but feel utterly hopeless on the freeway while you’re being held hostage by Scott.

“I shouldn’t have told her to go to the hotel,” Aaron says. “I should’ve left it at reprimanding her for going in alone. We could’ve avoided all of this.”

“You of all people know you couldn’t have predicted that Scott would’ve done,” Emily said. “It wasn’t in the profile. Neither of us could’ve predicted that he’d kidnap L/N.”

“I know.” Aaron signals and passes three cars who are driving far too slow for his liking.

He’s silent again, which doesn’t surprise Emily. Aaron sits in the driver’s seat, a million thoughts racing to the front of his head but he can’t seem to choose the right words to speak. He knows how unfair he’s been to you and all the anger and frustration about not being able to be with you has transpired into this mess he’s found himself in. He should’ve never let his feelings get to this point nor let his frustration shift from the forbidden relationship onto you.

“I’ve been unfair to her,” Aaron croaks. He hears the crack in his voice as it starts to falter, but he keeps talking because he thinks he might go insane if they sit in any more silence. “I’ve pushed her aside and made her second guess herself as an agent of this team all because I couldn’t keep my feelings in check.”

“What do you mean?” Emily asks. Aaron sighs and he grips his steering wheel, embarrassed that he’s been an unfair leader and that he’s admitting it to one of his colleagues.

“L/N is an exceptional agent and it’s no wonder why I fell for her.”

Emily’s quiet and Aaron’s sure he’s made a mistake by confessing that to her. He wishes he could take it back and lie instead of being honest with his friend, but he can’t take back the words he’s said. And he stands by it.

“I’ve been so busy trying to pretend like I don’t have feelings for her but every day I’m scared that something like this could happen to her. I hate it when she’s reckless and disobeys orders because I’m afraid that it’ll get her killed.

“I know what it looks like on the outside to see me and my subordinate in a romantic relationship. She’s young, career-driven, and I’d hate to stand in the way of whatever’s next for her. I don’t know how to act around her and I thought that pushing all of this down would help me lose feelings for her, but I haven’t.”

“You sound like a teenager,” Emily says. It shocks him and when he looks at her quizzically, Emily chuckles. “What, you think I couldn't see how hopeless you were when it came to L/N? Hotch, you’re like a kid in a candy store when she’s around. The rest of us were ready to start placing bets on you two until you started giving her the short end of the stick.”

He feels awful. Aaron’s guilt causes him to flex and rev the engine.

“I never meant to hurt her,” he confesses. “But that doesn’t matter now.”

“What matters is that we’re on our way to rescue her and there’s nowhere else she could be,” Emily reassures. “Scott wants his kids back and he knows they’re in LA county. There’s no way he would risk taking her somewhere else when he doesn’t have Gracie and Olivia.”

“Right,” Aaron says, clearing his throat. Neither he nor Emily need to chide him for how he’s been treating you. He knows he’s wrong and Emily knows it too.

“L/N is the strongest out of all of us. She’ll make it through this.”

Aaron has a sneaking suspicion that Emily’s trying to convince herself, but he doesn’t say anything.

When the team reaches the property, it’s notably quiet. The next neighbor is two miles down the road and Derek’s ready to search the house when Aaron steps out of his vehicle.

“More backup’s two minutes out,” Aaron explains, “but we’ve got enough people to start the search. Reid and JJ, check the backyard. Prentiss and Rossi, check the house. Morgan, you’re with me. We’re checking the garage.”

Aaron orders the police officers to check elsewhere before he and Morgan make their way to the garage. With his gun and flashlight in his hands, he approaches the enclosed space with caution and his heart spikes with anxiety. Before he can think about the worst that could happen, two police officers manage to open the garage door as he and Derek search the place.

It’s empty.

Aaron curses under his breath as they check the confined space but find nothing out of the ordinary. The rest of the team relates the same information and Aaron feels like he’s losing hope because he doesn't know where else you could possibly be.

“Guys, there’s a barn across the landing,” comes JJ’s voice from the communications line. “There’s a truck parked outside and I’m willing to bet it’s Scott’s.”

Aaron’s heart stops beating for a moment.

“We need to search that barn,” Aaron commands. “Everyone pull your resources and let’s head out.”

It feels like slow motion to him, the way he diverts his attention to the barn that JJ pointed out. He feels like he’s watching the scene unfold in front of him from another person’s perspective and desperately prays that you’re in there, safe and alive. The grip on his gun is falling from how his hands are trembling but he reminds himself that he has a job to do.

Dave touches the hood of the car and says it’s warm, which means Scott is most likely inside of the barn. The lead detective is ordering his team to secure the back entrance and surround the building so that Scott has no place to run and Aaron instructs his team to do the same at the front. Under hushed voices, he can almost make out the faint scout of scuffling coming from behind the large wooden doors and feels his throat close.

Then he hears a gunshot.

Everyone rushes inside and he’s overcome with dread when he walks inside. Aaron’s heart is racing; he can feel the grip of his gun slipping because of how unsteady his hands are and he’s nearly tripping from all the hay that he’s stepping on. He fears the worst when he enters and does his best to prepare himself to see your lifeless body.

But you’re laying on your stomach with a gun in your hands.

You don’t process the ringing in your ears until Aaron moves beside you to reach for the gun in your hands. He’s tossed it aside and maneuvers you to check for any injuries. Aaron glances at your face and notices a deep bruise forming on your left temple with scratches and smaller bruises adorning your face, and he hates it.

He hates that your body and face is covered in Scott’s blood. He hates that your hands are still shaking with fear. He hates that there’s nothing he can say or do that will make everything better for you.

The shirt you’re wearing is covered in Scott’s blood spatter and you’re barely able to process that you’ve most likely broken a few ribs. You don’t say anything. The overwhelming urge to cry resurfaces and this time, you don’t stop yourself.

Aaron catches you before you hit your head onto the ground and moves his body to sit behind you. You’re stationed between his legs, your back pressed against his chest as you slump over and grab his arm for support as your tears wet his dress shirt. Aaron foregoes all standard procedure and lets you cry in his arms instead of calling for the EMT to whisk you away from the hospital.

You don’t care that your cries are almost louder than the ambulance sirens. Your adrenaline makes the blood pump loudly in your ears and you grip onto Aaron like you’re afraid Scott will come back to life and kill you if you let go.

His free arm is secured around you. Aaron’s eyes become glossy as each second passes by and his heart breaks in two when he hears your continual cries.

“You did so good,” Aaron whispers. “So good. You’re safe now.”

Aaron doesn’t let the EMT get close to you when you’re trembling in his arms. He tells them to wait a moment and they try to argue with him, but they relent when they see Aaron’s stern expression. His voice cracks when he tries to speak upon hearing your soft whimpers. Your eyes are screwed shut and Aaron strokes your hair as you bury yourself further deeper into him.

Dave and Spencer canvas the scene and look around for anything out of the ordinary to report. Derek's speaking with the EMTs while JJ and Emily are patiently waiting with blankets and bottles of water for you. But you don’t get up. Your legs feel numb from sitting down and Aaron’s grip on you is so tight that you feel like you’ll fall back down if you try to stand up.

Your sobs have turned quiet and you almost feel like you’re at peace. But then you remember your bruises and the blood still on your body. You remember Scott’s body and find yourself crying even harder.

“Let’s get you to a hospital,” Aaron says in your ear. “We can get you cleaned up and on your way home. Does that sound good?”

His voice is like honey. Sweet.

You nod and you try your best to sit up to no avail. Aaron tries to help you up and the EMTs catch you before you can fall back onto the ground. He reluctantly lets the EMTs take you to the ambulance where JJ and Emily are waiting. He watches as they drape a blanket over you and as you’re wheeled up into the vehicle. Emily offers to follow you to the hospital and JJ steps away, letting the ambulance drive off.

Aaron doesn’t process anything. He doesn’t hear the sirens, the police chatter, or Dave approach him with a concerned look.

“She’s gonna be okay, Aaron.”

Dave’s voice is nothing but a hollow shell to Aaron. It feels like an empty promise even though he knows you’re going to make it out alive. Still, Aaron doesn’t say a word.

“Let’s go meet her at the hospital.”

***

The doctor explains that you’ve suffered a concussion, a couple of bruised ribs, a broken arm, and a grazed bullet wound. You’ll be relatively fine, but Aaron’s heart is racing and can't get past seeing you covered in blood to pay attention to anything the doctor is saying. He hasn’t had time to beat himself up for sending you back to the hotel without accompaniment and he hates that the guilt is crashing in on him when you need him the most.

Aaron looks down at his sleeves and they’re covered in blood, dirt, and your mascara. He stares down in shock and his mind flashes to the barn, and he realizes it’s the first time he’s ever seen you cry before. It breaks him.

The doctor explains that they needed to sedate you because of your sudden adrenaline rush. Your shock had caused you to lash out when a nurse had grabbed your wrist, and through your clouded judgment, you’d swung at him with all of your might. Your fretful apologies made you uncontrollably sob afterwards and the nurse could only look at you with sympathy.

Two hours later, the team was still waiting in the waiting room. Under the guise of wanting to get you something to eat other than stale hospital food, Aaron leaves to buy you a meal. But he needs to get ou and get fresh air before he suffocates.

Aaron’s guilt eats him alive. He walks aimlessly towards a deli and scolds himself over and over again for making you drive to the hotel unsupervised. In hindsight, Aaron knows his personal feelings came into play when he berated you for your recklessness. He knows he was unfair to you because he would’ve done the same thing if he were in your position.

When he returns, Dave’s looking at him like he knows what he’s thinking, but doesn’t say anything. Aaron appreciates his friend’s concern but the guilt doesn’t relent. He fidgets in his seat and tries to calm his spiking anxiety but nothing seems to work. His mind retracts to the moment he found you covered in Scott’s blood and your cries are enough to make Aaron feel like he might shed a tear in front of his teammates.

His thoughts are disrupted when he sees your doctor approach the group.

“She’s a little out of it,” says the doctor, “but she’s conscious. You’re all welcome to say hello, but only for a few minutes.”

When the doctor directs the team to your room, she explains what happened after you reached the hospital. Aaron can’t process anything she’s saying. His ears are ringing and he feels like everyone around him is talking too loudly for him to be able to hear anything the doctor is saying. All he can pick up is “dehydrated” and “concussed.”

Everyone hastily walks to the room you’re in. JJ files into the room first. It takes Aaron a few breaths to find the courage to step inside of the room and he’s sure Emily’s the one who helped him take the first step.

“What’s the prognosis?” your croaked voice asks. JJ sniffles and laughs at the same time, and the rest of the group watch you try to prop yourself up.

“How you’re able to joke at a time like this is beyond me,” JJ gushes. She takes a pillow from the bed and helps you sit up.

“What, a few broken ribs and a concussion? I’m lucky the bullet only grazed me.”

Nobody laughs but you can tell they’re trying their best.

Aaron towers over everybody easily and he’s in between trying to catch your gaze and trying to avoid it. Emily hands you the sandwich from the local deli and you waste no time, opening the wrapper and letting the aioli slide down the side of your mouth.

It’s easily the most adorable and most heartbreaking thing Aaron has ever seen.

“Slow down, Tiger,” says Derek. He grabs a nearby napkin and wipes the sauce away while you smile sheepishly.

“Sorry,” you mutter, taking slower bites. Spencer’s next to hug you and you welcome the way he refuses to let you go.

Everyone looks at you under the harsh lights of the hospital room and you feel like you’re being observed. The sedative you’d been given is enough to make you feel somewhat normal because no matter how hard you try to panic over the last few hours, you can’t.

You feel like you’re numb to your experiences and the pain Scott inflicted. Staring at your team feels eerily normal and you almost forget that you’re sitting in a hospital gown with enough injuries to put you out of the field for a few months.

“You broke my heart, kiddo,” Dave chimes in. He grabs your free hand and gives it a gentle squeeze, accompanied by a kiss to the back of your hand. JJ pulls you into a mother-like embrace, kissing the crown of your head. You lean into her touch and Aaron wishes he were the one comforting you.

“I feel like shit,” you confess. “I woke up feeling groggy and I feel like I’m about to pass out.”

“We’re so glad you’re okay, Y/N,” Emily says.

“Thanks, Em,” you say. You take another bite. “This sandwich is good.”

“Aaron bought it,” Emily speaks.

You look at him. It’s the first time you’ve acknowledged his presence since he walked into the room.

“Thanks,” you mumble behind the sandwich. “I could eat five of these.”

“I don’t want to deal with you puking on us,” Spencer jokes, and it makes you feel somewhat normal.

You don’t like feeling as though you’re a delicate piece of glass that’s close to being dropped. You hate feeling useless and pitied. Everyone’s looking at you with sad eyes and it makes you feel like you’ve let your colleagues down, even though you know there’s nothing you could’ve done to prevent what transpired.

“I’m really sleepy,” you say, haphazardly throwing the wrapper on the table next to you. It isn’t a lie, but you say it with the hopes of being alone.

“We’ll be back in the morning,” JJ says. She looks at the clock in front of her and doesn’t realize that it’s four in the morning. You squeeze her hand when her eyes well up. JJ wipes her eyes and blinks her tears back and you lean against her side.

Aaron can’t help but stare. You look so vulnerable at this moment and you’re doing your best to keep yourself awake, but the sedatives are making you drowsy. The team says their goodbyes and reluctantly trek back to the hotel, but Aaron can’t bring himself to walk into the building once he’s parked.

“Get changed,” Dave says after a brief moment of silence. Aaron looks at him in confusion. “Take a shower, eat something from the vending machine, and go back to the hospital.”

“She doesn't want me there,” he says slowly.

“She’s asleep,” Dave dismisses. “She’s not going to know you’re there and I’m sure she’ll want to see a familiar face when she wakes up.”

“I’m not sure I’m the person she wants to see.”

“You were the first person she reached for when we entered the barn,” Dave explains, “and I know you won’t be sleeping a wink tonight unless you’re by L/N’s side. Go get changed and get back to the hospital, Aaron.”

“I just–”

“I know you feel guilty. Whatever feelings you have towards her never went away and that’s why you’ve been so hard on her.” Aaron’s not surprised that he’s picked up on this habit. “I don’t have to agree with how you handled it, but what matters is that she’s alive and she’s resting. We got her back, Aaron. She’s here and Scott isn’t.”

Aaron knows Dave is right. He thanks him for being a good friend and trudges back into his hotel room, hastily freshening himself up before returning back to the hospital.

***

You wake up later in the morning with little to no recollection of how you got there. You feel extremely out of it, like someone removed a ton of bricks from your chest after keeping it there for a fortnight. You look to your left and see a window that shows you a gloomy D.C. morning. You look to your right and see Aaron Hotchner slumped over in a seat, asleep.

This wakes you up. You’re blinking the sleep out of your eyes when you realize he’s snoring. It’s soft and unassuming, but you don’t remember the last time you’ve ever seen him sleep.

The chairs must be uncomfortable, too. You do your best to sit up—which is when you notice the sling on your arm—and manage to prop yourself up on the pillows until you’re sitting upright. Aaron stirs in his sleep at the sound but he’s still asleep.

You’re not close enough to reach him and wake him up. You aren’t sure that you want to either, for the fear that he might start telling you a laundry list of all the things you did wrong throughout the case.

The doctor from last night walks in and knocks on your door, which shifts your focus. Aaron’s still asleep and the doctor, who reintroduces herself as Dr. Aguta, gently walks around Aaron and to your bedside.

“How are you feeling?” she asks you while holding a clipboard. You notice her colorful print skirt first and it’s a contrast to how grey it is outside.

“My head hurts,” you say with a croak. It’s the first thing you’ve said since you woke up. “And I realized my arm’s broken. But other than that, I feel fine.”

Dr. Aguta gives you a pleasant smile. “I’m glad to hear that you’re doing okay. The sedatives we gave you last night seemed to help ease your pain, though I’ll be giving you a prescription for the rest of the month when it wears off.”

She hesitated before speaking again.

“Do you remember why you’re here?”

Unfortunately, you do. You remember Scott, the gun, and Aaron coaxing you to go with the EMTs. It’s mostly a blur and you can’t remember the details but you remember enough. The softened expression is a dead giveaway and Dr. Aguta doesn’t press any further.

She sees your gaze shift to Aaron, who still hasn’t woken up.

“He came last night and insisted on staying with you,” Dr. Aguta informs. “Typically I’d only let immediate family stay overnight, but your boss seemed extremely worried about you.”

“He did?” you ask. It’s news to you.

She nods. “When I saw him for the first time last night, I could tell he’s a man of few words and the leader of your team. But last night he was a stuttering mess and I let him stay overnight with the condition that he doesn’t wake you.”

You don’t say anything. Aaron’s mouth is partly ajar and you know he’s going to wake up with a lot of back pain from how he’s positioned. Dr. Aguta performs a routine check up on you and lets you know that you’ll be discharged from the hospital the following day. You thank her profusely and she can only give you a reassuring smile. You ask her to wake Aaron up for you just before she leaves.

Aaron blinks and remembers he’s not in the hotel. Dr. Aguta excuses herself to give the both of you privacy and he sits upright, stretching his back unpleasantly.

“Morning,” he says, clearing this throat. “How do you feel?”

You’re getting tired of answering this question but you humor him.

“Better,” you say honestly. “Aside from my broken arm and concussion.” Aaron’s gaze shifts to your arm and he almost winces.

“Did you sleep well?”

“For the most part, but I think the sedatives had more to do with it than anything.”

“Good, I’m glad.”

An awkward silence falls over the both of you. Aaron desperately tried to pull himself together by waking himself up and you’re fiddling with your hands. You noticed he’s changed since you saw him last night, now in slacks and a quarter zip, and you don’t remember the last time you’ve ever seen him look so casual.

Aaron’s trying to think of the right words to say. As your boss, he wants to tell you that none of this was your fault and there’s nothing you could’ve done to prevent it from happening. He wants to tell you he shouldn’t have ordered you back to the hotel, not without anyone accompanying you.

But as someone who has deep feelings for you, Aaron wants to say he was scared to death and thought he might lose another person he cares for. His anxiety skyrocketed through the roof when he saw what you had done to Scott and he wishes that you didn’t have to work through this trauma.

But he doesn’t say anything. You watch as he swallows and you know his brain is working overtime by how often he pulls his eyebrows together. You don’t have it in you to be angry at him like you were the night he sent you away. The sedatives, along with your exhaustion, leaves little room for anger.

“I’m getting hungry,” you say to break the silence.

“I can get something from the cafeteria,” he offers immediately, touching his pocket to make sure his wallet didn’t fall out.

“That would be nice.” You’d be lying if you said you weren’t touched by the offer.

Aaron leaves for a short while and you try your best to process what just happened. He chose to stay with you overnight. He offered to buy you breakfast. You didn’t think Aaron would care for you like that.

He comes back a while later and apologizes for both the sandwich (that looks haphazardly made) and the time it took, as there was a long line. You thank him politely and eat the meal, and you’re grateful that you have anything to eat at all.

Aaron watches you and feels like he’s invading your personal time. He bought himself a fruit cup, knowing Dave would reprimand him for not eating if he were able to buy something.

“I shouldn’t have told you to go back,” Aaron says softly. You almost didn’t hear him say it. “I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you. I did the wrong thing and it got you kidnapped.”

You don’t tell him that it’s okay, because quite frankly he’s right. He shouldn’t have sent you home, but you know it’s not his fault that you were abducted.

“It’s not your fault that Scott took me,” you say matter-of-factly. Aaron can sense what you’re trying to say and his eyes hang in shame. “But I’m alive. I’m going to have one hell of a transition back to work, but I’m alive. I’m here. That is, if I still have my job.”

Aaron’s eyes snap to you.

“The job is yours for however long you want it,” he says immediately, and he means it. “What you did was reckless but I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same thing.”

This makes you smile a little and Aaron soars when he sees it.

“I didn’t mean what I said back at the precinct either, Y/N. You’re a fantastic agent and we’re lucky to have you.”

There are a million things you want to ask him. Why have you been second guessing me? Is my work not satisfactory enough? Why did you stay in the hospital with me?

But you don’t. There are too many things you want to say to Aaron that it ends up turning into a frustrating mess every time you think of the right question to ask. Aaron doesn’t seem to notice your lack of conversation. Or if he does, you think he’s trying to fill the awkward silence like you are.

“I don’t mean to be a burden,” is what you settle on. “I don’t purposely challenge your authority or how the team operates. I know I haven’t been here as long as everyone else but I like to think I make enough contributions.”

“You do,” Aaron says. “You aren’t a burden.”

You don’t believe him. “I just…lately I feel like I've been getting in the way of things.”

“You haven’t.” Aaron means that honestly but you don’t pick up on it. “You’ve shown immense critical thinking and problem solving skills. This case alone has proven that.”

You don’t disagree with him, but your mind reverts back to Scott and you start to deflate.

Aaron knows he needs to apologize for how he’s been acting towards you. The abduction and his guilt is eating him alive and it forced him to be truthful with himself about how harsh he’s been treating you upon realizing he likes you more than a colleague should. But he doesn’t know whether this moment is appropriate or not. Ever the professional.

Both of you are saved by Dave showing up unannounced. He’s dressed casually too, with jeans and a sweater for an unusually cloudy day in Southern California. His knocking brings both you and Aaron out of your heads.

“Hey, kiddo,” Dave laments. He enters the room after you beckon him in and gives you a gentle hug on the side that doesn’t have your sling. “I won’t ask how you’re feeling because I’m sure you’re tired of that.”

“Thank you.”

“But I did want to check up on you,” Dave continues. “The rest of the team are slowly waking up, I imagine.” He turns to Aaron. “I assume we’re grounded here until Y/N can fly back.”

“That’s right,” Aaron says. “Tell the team they have the rest of the week off. I don’t think Strauss wants us spending more of our budget on flights.”

“Already done,” Dave says with a smile. “You had us worried for a while there.”

“I’m sorry,” you apologize, even though you know you have nothing to be sorry for. “I didn’t mean to make any of you worry about me.”

“We always worry about you, kid. It’s our job.”

“Are the girls okay?” you ask him.

“Safe and sound. That’s actually why I came to visit, other than to check up on you.”

You blink out of confusion.

“Jaqueline called the precinct and asked to speak with you,” Dave explains. “Long story short, she got in contact with me and wanted to know if you’d be willing to speak with her. She wants to thank you in person.”

The thought never crossed your mind. Saving her children had always been your first priority, even when Scott threatened to kill you if you didn’t help him. You’re not a mother by any means, but Jaqueline is around your age and you have plenty of nieces and nephews to get an understanding of how difficult this whole ordeal was for her.

And if you were being honest with yourself, you wanted to make sure Jaqueline would be okay.

“Absolutely,” you say immediately.

“Y/N, are you sure?” Aaron asks. “You just got to the hospital.”

“I’m sure,” you confirm, turning your attention back to Dave. “They can come visit me here if they’re willing to. I don’t think I have it in me to go to the precinct.”

“Of course,” Dave says with a small grin. It’s almost like he knows this will heal the both of you. He leaves the room and tells you he’ll be back later this afternoon.

Aaron sits in silence and he’s in awe of your resilience. He’s sure it’s the shock and sedatives talking, but he’s always known you to be someone who puts other people first.

“I should call Strauss and let her know the situation,” Aaron says. “I’ll be back in a little bit, okay?”

“Okay,” you say, and you’re strangely reluctant to let him go. But you do anyway and he walks out of the hospital room, leaving you with your thoughts.

***

Dave lets you know Jaqueline is here with the girls a few hours later.

“Agent Y/L/N?” a voice says from beside you. The young mother knocks on the door as two children hide behind her legs. You beckon them inside, with Aaron and Emily supervising from beyond the threshold.

“Jaqueline,” you say, propping yourself up to seem more presentable. “Hi. It’s great to see you.”

“I’m sorry for barging in like this,” she apologizes, but you’re already waving her off when you see the two children emerge from behind her. “I wanted to thank you in person. For saving my kids.”

“It’s no problem,” you downplay.

But Jaqueline shakes her head and rushes to grab your hand. She pulls away when she thinks she’s crossed a line, but your grip is devastatingly tight when you squeeze hers. Jaqueline looks at you and tears slip from her eyes, and her children hug her legs like they know something’s wrong.

Jacqueline composes herself and brings Gracie and Olivia in front of her, who each have hand-decorated thank you cards made of colorful cardstock paper, stickers, and glitter. Your heart swells at the gesture and you will yourself not to alarm the family in front of you with your tears, so you promise yourself you’d cry when they leave.

“Hi, Munchkins,” you greet. “What’s all this?”

The girls shyly give you the cards, the eldest taking initiative to put them in your hands.

“Thank you,” she says quietly. “Mommy says you were very brave and saved us.”

“We drew these last night!” the younger one exclaims. “Mommy let us stay up late because we couldn’t sleep, so we made these for you.”

“They’re beautiful,” you compliment, looking at the colors below you. Jaqueline hasn’t let go of your hand. “You girls are very talented.”

“Thank you,” the young one says bashfully. “I hope you get better soon.”

Your heart swells and Jacqueline squeezes your hand again before letting go. You watch her lips flutter and as her children become preoccupied with their dresses, Jaqueline surprises you again.

“Would it be alright if I called you from time to time?” she asks. “To let you know how we’re doing. That we’re okay.” You reach for her one more time.

“I’d love that,” you say honestly.

Jaqueline doesn’t say another word, but the look of gratitude and her quivering lips is enough to make all the hurt from the past few days disappear.

You watch as they leave the room and as the young girls save goodbye. David escorts them to the front of the hospital, which leaves Aaron awkwardly standing in the threshold with his body leaning against the doorframe.

Aaron watches you. Your eyes glaze over and the cards in your hand are slipping through your fingertips, and your lips move as if you’re trying to find the right words to say. But nothing comes out. Aaron listens as your breathing becomes shallow and watches a stray tear slip from the corner of your eyes.

Before he can think, he rushes by your side and envelopes you in his arms.

He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, somewhere between wanting to give you enough space and wanting to pull you against him. Your fingers are tight on his forearms when he hears your labored breathing become erratic and as your tears soak the fabric of his t-shirt.

Aaron takes the liberty of moving you in front of him, his back against the pillows you were sleeping on. He looks at your frail body in front of him; you always carry yourself as a strong-willed, independent agent on the field, and now he sees that he mistook your brazen character as recklessness when it was false bravado.

His heart aches when your grip on him tightens. Aaron reaches out to move the cards to the side table and pulls you against his chest, thankful that this bed is barely enough to fit the both of you. Aaron notices your craned neck, bringing the hand that isn’t wrapped around your frail figure to your head and gently moves your head to his chest.

Your soft whimpers are enough to make Aaron’s heart break all over again.

“You’re an amazing person,” Aaron says. “You are selfless, caring, and generous.” His words compel you to cry even harder and Aaron lets you weep in his arms until your eyes are dry and you’re hiccuping.

Aaron doesn’t let you, not for a second, feel embarrassed about breaking down in front of him. His thumbs are drawing soothing circles on your arm and he’s wiping away your tears with a tissue, allowing you to unravel before him.

Your dry heaving doesn’t bother Aaron, but he coos into your ear and tells you he’s going to get you a bottle of water when you grip his arm. He pries your fingers off of him and melts when you snuggle your head closer to him, but he knows you’re thirsty and the best thing he can do for you is keep you healthy.

“I’ll be back in two minutes,” he promises. “I’m all yours after that.”

You nod reluctantly and let him go. The bed feels empty when he leaves and you feel pathetic for hanging onto him like he’s your lifeline, but you don’t care. You just want to be held.

True to his word, Aaron comes back a few minutes later and uncaps the bottle for you. A soft ‘up’ utters from his lips and you sit up straight. He brings the bottle to your lips and tilts your head back enough to let the water slide down your throat.

Aaron puts it aside when you’ve signaled that you’re done and slides into the spot next to you once again. He puts his arm around your shoulder and brings you to his chest again.

You don’t tell him, but you feel his heartbeat. It’s irrationally fast and you don’t know what to make of it. You tighten your hold on him as you start to fall asleep and you miss the way Aaron rocks you to sleep.

***

When it’s time for your discharge, you’re feeling better than you did a few days ago. The team welcomes you back on board once you’ve been cleared to fly and it feels like nothing’s out of place.

JJ bought a bunch of pastries from a local cafe and everyone (save for Aaron because he was with you the entire time) has written little messages on a decorated card. It’s Spencer who frets over you the most, bringing you cups of tea and asking if there’s anything he can do to ease your pain. You’re quite touched.

You know you’re in no shape to drive home when you land. Your dominant hand is broken and your car sits in its designated spot, no doubt gathering dust and debris. The team is tired from the trip and everyone checks in on you one by one before leaving, and you don’t know how you’ll get home until you realize your car keys are still in your desk drawer.

Aaron watches you for a moment. He notices your apprehensiveness and the way you look at your car keys, and he puts two and two together. Before he can register what he’s doing, Aaron’s making his way to you and offering to drive you. You start to tell him you don’t need a chauffeur and that he should go home instead, but he’s more worried that you might hurt yourself inadvertently. He persists and you reluctantly say yes because you know he’s right. You could barely open the door to the building, let alone drive home.

The car ride to your apartment is quiet, save for the sounds of cars passing by on the freeway and the sound of gravel underneath the tires. You look up at your apartment complex when you tell Aaron the code to get into your garage and he parks in the visor spot after you’ve directed him.

The sling on your arm is a nuisance and you already can’t wait to get it off. You’re able to unbuckle yourself with your free hand and you’re surprised that Aaron opens the door for you.

“Thanks,” you mumble.

“It’s not a problem.” You can tell he means it.

When you get to your apartment, you’re somewhat surprised that you haven’t lost your keys. You struggle to put them into the lock correctly with your non-dominant hand and Aaron can see the quirk of your eyebrow and how you’ve bit your lip out of frustration.

He fears he’s overstepping. He takes the keys out of your hands gently and opens the door for you anyhow.

When you walk inside, you don’t think you've ever felt happier to see your small one bedroom apartment. Aaron sets your go-bag on the kitchen counter and you stand still for what seems like an eternity until he brings you out of your haze and encourages you to change out of your clothes and take a shower.

But you don’t move. You stand in the middle of your living room and stare blankly out of your window, unable to appreciate the breathtaking view of D.C. like you always do. Your throat feels dry and your feet feel like they’re permanently planted on the hardwood floor beneath you.

Aaron comes to stand beside you and he leaves distance between the both of you. He looks at the sight before him and makes a comment about how he’s jealous of your view, but not even that gets a reaction out of you.

“I don’t want to be alone,” you mumble after a long pause. “I-I can’t be by myself right now.”

Aaron knows Jack is at sleepaway camp for a school trip and doesn’t get back for another few days. He doesn’t have to think about keeping you company so you don’t feel alone.

“I can stay with you,” he offers. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

You turn to look at him and the offer is enough to bring tears to your eyes.

Aaron sounds so soft, caring, and unlike himself. Your heart tugs at his caring nature and you’re overwhelmed with the notion that he’s caring for you like he cares for your colleagues.

“Please,” you croak.

Aaron nods. He puts his hands on your arms and ushers you into the hallway and you point him in the direction of your bedroom. He’s acutely aware that this is the first time he’s ever been in your apartment, let alone in the room you sleep in, and tries not to dwell on it for your sake.

“You should take a shower and sleep,” Aaron suggests. “It’ll help clear your head.”

You follow Aaron’s lead. He guides you to your dresser and you grab an extra change of clothes and he accompanies you to the bathroom next door.

“I’ll be in the living room if you need anything, okay?” he says. “Don’t be afraid to get me.”

“Okay,” you say meekly. Your voice is far too dry to speak normally.

Aaron closes the bathroom door and you avoid looking at yourself in the mirror. You’re sure you look like a mess, despite being taken care of in the hospital back in Los Angeles. But you feel sticky from the flight and the sudden change in temperature, and you want nothing more than to cleanse yourself of the memories from LA.

You remove the sling from your arm and try your hardest to take your clothes off but you find it exceptionally difficult with your arm being in a brace. It hurts to lift your arm and you nearly cry out of frustration and exhaustion when you realize you can’t take your shirt off by yourself.

Embarrassed, you contemplate on showering with your clothes on, but ultimately know you’d need to take them off anyway. You open the door and call for Aaron, and you hear his steps as soon as you do.

“Are you okay?” he asks when he realizes you’re still in your clothes.

“I can’t, um, take my clothes off,” you say, clearing your throat. “I can’t bend my right arm and my left one is extremely sore. I can’t take my fucking clothes off.”

Aaron isn’t offended by your defensiveness. He gathers that it’s your coping mechanism because you feel embarrassed, but Aaron doesn’t care. He doesn’t say anything but he nods like he knows what you’re going through and you have a suspicion that he might.

“I’ll close my eyes and take your clothes off for you,” Aaron says. He says it in a way that’s so sincere but it still makes your cheeks redden at the innuendo. Aaron tries to ignore it because he feels a blush coming.

“It’s so pathetic that I can’t do this by myself.”

“It’s not pathetic,” he reassures. “You have a broken arm and your body’s still in pain. Let me help you.”

You don’t say anything and Aaron takes it as a cue to move closer. True to his word, he puts his arms on your waist and turns his head away from you, careful to not hurt your broken arm. He maneuvers the fabric until it’s free from your body and he’s acutely aware that he’ll need to touch you in order to take the rest of your clothes off.

Aaron’s surprised when you move his hand to the button of your slacks. He clears his throat while you look up at the ceiling and bite your lip, pretending that the situation you’re in is completely normal to keep yourself from blushing too much. Aaron’s fingers work on the button and he’s careful not to put his hands where it’s inappropriate. He almost laughs at the thought, considering he’s your boss and he’s helping you take off your clothes.

You shimmy out of your slacks as Aaron slides it down your legs. He blushes at the thought of what’s to come next and swallows hard. Aaron returns to his stance and finds his neck is sore from craning, so he keeps his eyes closed and faces you.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize again. “I-I don’t think I can unclasp my bra.”

You wince at your words, but it’s true. You tried to reach behind you when Aaron worked on taking off your pants, but the ache in your shoulder was too much.

Aaron doesn’t say anything and you’re afraid that he might leave you. He’s so quiet that you can barely hear his breathing and you look at his closed eyes and see that his jaw is clenched. He mumbles and you’re barely able to catch it. Aaron lifts his hands to find your shoulders and you nearly shiver underneath his warm hands, despite the fact that your body might be just as hot.

Aaron reaches behind you and searches for your clasp. You can feel his fingers on your back as he feels for it and he’s incredibly aware that your gaze is on him. It takes all of his willpower not to open his eyes. He’s imagined undressing you before, but not like this. Aaron’s fingers find the clasp and he’s slow to undo it, afraid of tangling the metal.

You feel yourself free from its constraints and Aaron slowly moves his fingertips from your shoulders and down your arm. You comply the best you can with your sore arm and your broken one, and your breathing hitches.

Aaron ignores how fast his heart is beating when he hears your bra drop to the floor. His mind is in overdrive and he bends down again, his fingers immediately coming to your waist and gripping them with gentle care. You look down at him and your mouth is wide open with your jaw hanging when you realize he’s on his knees in front of you. Aaron’s fingers hook on the material of your underwear, but you can’t bear to see him take them off.

“Wait,” you say, squeezing your eyes shut momentarily.

Aaron forces himself to keep his eyes closed and he can hear your shallow breathing. His fingers are wrapped around the fabric of your underwear and suddenly he’s aware that it’s an intimate piece of clothing. Aaron’s cheeks redden and he’s desperately hoping you don’t notice.

“I can do it,” you say. Your voice wavers and you aren��t sure that you won’t be in pain when you take them off, but seeing Aaron on his knees with his hands practically down your underwear is too much for you at this moment.

“Sorry,” he apologizes, clearing his throat. His fingers detach themselves and he abruptly stands up. Aaron keeps his eyes closed still.

“No, it’s okay,” you say, and you mean it. “I really appreciate you helping me out…I’m sure this has crossed a lot of boundaries.”

Aaron wants to tell you he doesn’t mind it one bit, but he holds his tongue to refrain from making you uncomfortable. His eyes feel heavy and he stumbles when he stands up but catches himself when he feels the doorknob behind him.

“Like I said, I’m here if you need anything.”

Aaron stands still for a moment and it feels like the both of you had the air knocked out of your lungs. He doesn’t want to overstep or make it seem like he’s taking advantage of your vulnerable state, so he exits the bathroom and closes the door behind him.

You lock it immediately and pin yourself against the door. Your heartbeat is irrational and you turn the water on, fixing it to your desired temperature. Bending to take your underwear hurts and your shoulders feel like they’re about to pop off, but you manage.

You’re acutely aware that Aaron’s in your living room, no doubt trying to rid himself of the awkwardness. You aren’t sure if you’re grateful at what transpired because while it’s enough to help you forget about Los Angeles, it makes your cheeks flare into a hot mess and you feel uncomfortably turned on.

Aaron, too, feels the same way. He feels filthy sitting on your couch and results in pacing around the room. His shoes are discarded by the door and it feels all too domestic. Aaron’s tie is suddenly too tight so he tugs on the knot to loosen it. He rids himself of his suit jacket and places it neatly on the arm of the couch, and thinks about anything but you, naked in the shower. His slacks feel a little too tight, so he takes out his phone to check his email. It works for a while,

A while later, Aaron realizes you’ve walked out of the bathroom and you’ve managed to change without his assistance. You comment about how the shower loosened your muscles and you were able to get your clothes in relatively painlessly, but all he can think about is how cute you look in an oversized shirt and sweatpants.

He’s too preoccupied admiring how undone you look because it’s the complete opposite from how he sees you at work. In Quantico, you’re somewhat put together, always wearing appropriate office attire and taking your caseload with grace while the rest of the team complains to no end about the amount of paperwork that needs to be filed.

Now, you’re standing in front of him with wet hair and an old shirt that has lost some lettering. It’s domestic and Aaron loves it.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about offering you the bathroom,” you say timidly.

It’s nerve wracking for you to be in Aaron’s presence because of what happened a few moments ago and because you’re not sure why he’s been so nice to you. It’s fresh and strange at the same time, as you’re used to him looking over your shoulder.

But you don’t feel like he’s being domineering.

“I’ve got a few shirts that might be your size,” you announce. “And a bunch of sweatpants too.”

Aaron’s heart flutters at how welcoming you are considering all that happened to you, but he’s also found himself standing with jealousy when you mention that you have men’s clothing. Are you dating someone? Does he know he’s there?

“I love thrifting and sleeping in big shirts,” you explain, overcompensating for how awkward you feel to be standing in front of your boss looking like a disheveled mess. “I tend to thrift for clothes in the men's section because you guys have really good clothes for dirt cheap.”

Aaron’s worries are quelled and he doesn’t know why he feels so relieved to know you aren’t seeing anyone.

“That would be great,” Aaron says.

You nearly skip to your room and huff at your awkward demeanor, pulling out a large shirt from your dresser and a pair of sweatpants you hope is big enough. When you walk back to the living room, Aaron is still standing in the same spot and you’re somewhat touched that he’s nervous to be in your apartment.

“You can change in the bathroom,” you instruct. “Take as long as you need. There’s an extra toothbrush on the counter and a towel on the rack.”

Grateful, Aaron scurries into the bathroom and you walk away before you can think of imagining him getting undressed. Instead, you busy yourself by fetching extra blankets and pillows for him. There’s an extra thick blanket in your closet and you pull two pillows from your bed, unsure if Aaron’s the type of guy to care about his pillow count. You find yourself stumped for a moment, each hand two with pillows as you debate on how many to give him, before you realize how idiotic you must seem if someone were to take a peek inside your head.

You settle with two pillows.

You’re fixing a cup of tea for the both of you when Aaron walks out of the bathroom fifteen minutes later. You know he likes to drink chamomile tea on the plane when you’re coming back from a case late at night. You’ve seen him make it a million times. It feels weird to be making him a cup, but you figure it’s the least you could do after he helped you change out of your clothes.

“I made you tea,” you say lamely, setting the cup down on the opposite side of the kitchen counter. Aaron walks towards you and he feels the hardfloor beneath him and how hot the mug is when he touches it. Thinking about this distracts him from your broken arm and the swell of guilt he has in his chest.

“Thank you,” Aaron says.

“I put in a little bit of honey. I hope it’s not too much.”

Aaron raises his eyebrow. “How’d you know I liked honey in my tea?”

“You drink it a lot on the plane,” you explain. “I see you make it a lot. You always scold Spencer every time he puts too much of it in.”

He can’t help but smile, but he hides it behind the cup.

Neither of you say anything. You don’t know what more you can say. The words cause you to choke every time you think about what happened back in Los Angeles. Realistically, you know there’s no way Scott can hurt you anymore, but it doesn’t stop you from panicking at the thought of being alone in your apartment.

But you look at Aaron, who’s looking at you, and you’re able to let your guard down for a little while.

“Thank you,” you muster. “For taking care of me back at the hospital and back at the barn. It…it meant a lot that you stayed.”

“Of course,” he says a little too quickly. “You’re a member of this team and your safety is my top priority.”

Your gaze drops to the floor. You aren’t sure what you were expecting. An apology? A confession? Truthfully, you don’t know what you want to hear from Aaron but it hurts knowing that he views you as just another colleague.

“I’m sorry that I haven’t made you feel that way in a long time,” Aaron starts when he realizes you’ve grown quiet. “A member of the team, I mean.”

“I-I just felt like I should’ve been doing more,” you confess.

“You’re doing everything right, Y/N. You’re an exceptional agent and an outstanding person. Any part of the bureau would be lucky to have you.”

“Yeah?” you ask quietly.

“Absolutely.” Aaron means in.

You finish your tea and it all becomes too much for you. The pain of your arm is quelled by the medication your doctor prescribed and Aaron helps you open the bottle. It makes you feel silly that you need someone else’s help to do something so simple and you feel your frustration get the better of you.

“I’ll be out here if you need anything, okay?” Aaron reassures. “Please don’t hesitate to wake me up.”

“I promise,” you say and it’s one you’re planning on keeping.

You close the door behind you and turn off the lights. It feels weird to be in your apartment because you feel like everything should be back to normal, but it isn’t. In your years with the BAU, nothing as serious as this kidnapping has ever happened to you. You’ve been trained to deal with kidnappings before and how to talk to the victims and to the survivors, but you’ve never thought you’d have to deal with the aftermath yourself.

You can’t sleep on your side because of your cast and your body feels like it’s constantly being run over by a stampede. The soft mattress is a contrast of how stiff your body feels and it all feels like it’s too much.

Aaron can’t sleep either. He’s been staring at the door for the past thirty minutes as he tries to fall asleep. His phone is plugged into the wall behind him and he checks in with Dave, who texted him as he drove you back to your apartment. Aaron briefly thinks about Jack and his heart softens for a moment, but then he hears your soft cries from the room.

Aaron lies completely still and hears your whimpers. He hears you sniffle, blow your nose twice, and he’s acutely aware of the fact that he has no idea what to do. He has half a mind of barging into your room to comfort you until you’re asleep, but he doesn’t want to overstep his welcome more than he already has. Aaron feels frozen on the couch and doesn’t know if you’re too nervous to ask him for comfort.

He’s surprised when you walk outside. You don’t turn the lights on and he can barely make your face when you step into the moonlight. But you look frail, broken, and like you’ve been tormented by your memories. Aaron hates that.

“Aaron?” you call out. Your voice is small and his heart cracks. “Can you keep me company?”

Aaron doesn’t need to be told twice.

He lifts the blankets from his legs and follows you into the bedroom. You sit on the edge of the bed and sniffle. Aaron sits next to you and carefully puts his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side.

It’s comforting and it aches. The pain of trauma and knowing that your life will never be the same again makes it seem like you’re never going to recover. Aaron doesn’t say anything, letting you cry into his shoulder and ignores the way your tear stains have soaked through the fabric.

He’s imagined being in your apartment before; he often wonders what your decor looks like and how often you spend time here. He’s imagined cooking breakfast for you before you wake up, making you cups of your favorite tea, making the bed after you’ve both woken up, and kissing you goodbye when you walk out the door. Being in your bedroom like this feels too intimate, but if he was being honest with himself, Aaron doesn’t really mind it. He likes that he’s the person you choose to lean on. He feels like this is the first step in holding himself accountable for how he’s treated you in the past.

Your shoulders are shaking and Aaron does everything he can think of to coax you through your sadness. He whispers praise and allows you to cry when you keep apologizing for your behavior, and he keeps telling you that he’s not going anywhere.

When you manage to calm down, you’re tired. Aaron lets you climb underneath the covers and tucks the blanket under your chin. His hand brushes your skin and he blushes, though he’s sure you can’t tell because of how dark it is. Aaron bids you goodnight and starts to walk back to the living room but you reach out for his hand before he gets the chance to leave. He turns around and feels your soft grip on him.

“Could you sleep with me?” you ask. “Or at least stay with me until I fall asleep?”

“Of course,” Aaron says. He throws all caution in the wind and starts to walk to the other side of the bed and he’s surprised when you open the covers for him.

Your mattress is soft and your blankets smell like you. He tries not to think about it and leaves space between the both of you.

“Did you know I joined the BAU because of you?” you ask in the darkness.

“What?” Aaron says of shock.

You laugh lamely. “You guys held a few seminars at my alma mater and I knew then what I wanted to do with my life. I applied to the academy the next fall.”

Aaron doesn’t know what to say. His cheeks are hot and you’ve rendered him utterly speechless. In your tired state, you push yourself as comfortably as you can until the back of your head is leaning on Aaron’s chest, mindful of your broken arm.

Aaron’s stunned and his body stiffens. But he thinks of all the times he’s thought about laying beside you like this and decides that he’ll cherish it as much as he can. His arm snakes itself underneath you as he tugs you closer, and he whispers a soft goodnight.

***

D.C. is a little cloudy when you wake up. The light peeks through your blinds and you’re made aware of the man sleeping beside you when you realize your face is buried in his chest. Your good arm is beneath you while the other is on top of the blanket. Aaron’s arms are encircled around you and when you feel his warmth.

You don’t rush to wake him up. Being here with him somehow feels right despite the part of your brain telling you he’s your boss and nothing more. But Aaron wouldn’t stay with you if he didn’t want to, right?

Part of you thinks he’s doing it just because he feels guilty. You know that there’s some truth to that, but you wonder if it’s the only reason he elected to take care of you. But you decide it’s too early to think about this. Instead, you close your eyes and bask in Aaron’s warmth, and fall asleep again.

This time, Aaron wakes you up twenty minutes after you fall back asleep. His arms are numb from your weight and he feels like he might try to kiss you if he doesn’t wake you up.

Your eyes flutter open and you bury your head in his neck. Aaron doesn’t bring himself to push you off of him. He pulls you against him and the both of you lay in silence for what feels like an eternity.

Eventually, Aaron has to leave because Jack’s coming home from a sleep away camping trip. He apologizes a thousand times over because he knows he said he wasn’t going anywhere, but you tell him that Jack is more important. An unrecognizable expression flashes across his face before he’s out the door, promising you that he’ll call to check in once Jack’s home.

And he does. Aaron calls you a few hours later when Jack’s in the shower and asks you how you’re feeling, if you’ve taken your medication, and if he needs to do anything for you. You decline for his help despite desperately wanting him back in your apartment.

When night falls, Aaron lets Jack stay up an hour later than usual. They’re watching cartoons from the nineties when Aaron gets a sudden idea. He pauses the television and turns to Jack.

“Do you remember Y/N?” Aaron asks his son.

“Of course I do,” Jack says. “She’s the one who buys me snacks when I come to visit you.”

“That’s right, buddy.” Truthfully, Aaron didn’t know you’ve continuously done that for Jack. But he rolls with it.

“Is she okay?”

Aaron knows Jack can tell something’s up.

“Not really,” Aaron replies honestly. “She got hurt real bad in our last case and broke her arm.”

Jack opens his mouth in surprise. “Oh no. Do you think she’ll get better soon?”

“I hope so. She needs a lot of help right now because she lives alone.”

“Well she can stay with us until her arm is better,” Jack says as if it’s the most obvious solution in the world. Aaron can’t help but smile through his shock.

“I’ve gotta ask her first, but I think that’s a great idea. That’s actually what I wanted to ask you.”

“It’ll be fun!” Jack exclaims. “Me and Y/N can watch cartoons while you’re at work and she can help me with my homework. She’s nice like that.”

“Yes she is,” Aaron says, nodding.

“Do you think I should make her a card so she feels welcomed in our home? I think I have leftover paper and glitter. Girls love glitter.”

“Y/N would love that. I’m going to talk to her first and if she agrees to stay over, you can make her a card.”

“Yay! This is gonna be the best sleepover ever.”

Aaron’s ecstatic that Jack’s receptive to the idea. He calls you the next morning and proposes the idea of staying at his place until your cast comes off. When you lament how long that’ll be from now, he insists and tells you Jack was the one who came up with the idea.

You can’t say no to Jack.

Aaron helps you gather belongings from your apartment and tells you that he’ll drive you back here or pick you up any time you want or need to. You double check that you’ve packed enough clothes for a week.

It’s a gradual and awkward start. You feel out of place as you try to navigate his apartment and where he keeps everything, not wanting to feel like you’re already welcomed in his home. But Aaron keeps reminding you that his home is your home and you don’t need permission since you’ll be here for a while.

Jack is sweet, too. He helps you by telling you where everything is stored and goes so far as to hold your hand while doing so. He insisted on tucking you in while you slept in the guest bedroom just to make sure you were comfortable on your first night, and you thought you might start crying in front of him.

At first, you walk on eggshells. You tiptoe around the boys and feel like a burden when Aaron brings home dinner for three or when he buys extra groceries, especially when he refuses to let you chip in. Jack tries to ease your worries after sensing your discomfort by asking you to build legos with him and you do your best despite the pain in your arms.

Aaron reminds you of your medication (and in turn, Jack asks you if you’ve taken your pills), cooks your favorite comfort meals, and drives you to mandated therapy sessions whenever he has the time. It warms your heart at how helpful he’s been since you know how busy he is typically, and you’re not sure what to make of your emotions.

Time passes by and suddenly staying with Aaron feels somewhat normal. You’re off of work until your arm is healed and you’ve seen your therapist a number of times, and you know you have a couple of months of doing whatever you want until you go back into the field. Against the advice of Strauss, you continue to help with cases and the paperwork load so Aaron can spend more time with Jack.

Gradually, you start to feel comfortable when you’re alone. You use his kitchen, clean his dishes, and busy yourself with tidying Jack’s messes. You explore his neighborhood and have found a few cafes and restaurants you’d like to try out. You feel more comfortable lounging on his couch instead of keeping yourself in the guest bedroom.

It feels domestic and you can’t tell if it’s a good or bad thing. There’s still so much left unsaid, including how you’ve felt being his subordinate prior to your abduction. Aaron’s apologized over and over again, has given you time to heal from it and chooses not to ask for forgiveness in lieu of letting you find it yourself. It means a lot. Deep down, you know Aaron isn’t a bad person. You just wish you knew why you were different.

A week turns into two, then into three, and soon enough you find yourself caring after Jack. You feel useless if you sleep in and start waking up early to make breakfast as best you can for everyone (limited to cold breakfasts until you start to feel confident using your dominant arm when it’s out of the sling). Aaron walks into the kitchen to see you making oatmeal one day and you’re worried that you’ve overstepped, but he thanks you profusely.

Jack waddles in and he takes the oatmeal without question and asks if you can put brown sugar and fruit in it. You look around and see apples and blueberries, and Jack chooses the blueberries. He watches as you fix him a bowl and eats his breakfast in silence.

It becomes a routine for you after growing tired of doing nothing all day. Helping Aaron’s around the house as best you can, working remotely on cases, and spending time in his neighborhood feels like you’re recording.

Jessica, Jack’s aunt, has been informed of your stay by Aaron. You’ve met her before in passing but have never spoken to her in depth before staying with Aaron. She picks him up and drops him off, making small talk with you about her life and about your work. It goes so far as coffee dates when she’s available and it feels like your life is getting back on track.

Meanwhile, Aaron realizes he’s bit off more than he can chew when he sees you every morning. He hears your morning voice and finds himself wanting to wake up to it every day. He sees the way you are with Jack, how thoughtful and helpful you’ve been, and thinks it’s where you belong.

And it hurts. It hurts to know that all of his suppressed feelings are suddenly coming to the surface.

Your cast is coming off later today and you’re due for another mandated therapy session and a psychological evaluation before you’re able to return to work. He’s elated, but that means you’re okay to return to your apartment and he’ll have to get used to the house being empty.

Aaron’s parked his car at Quantico and he glances at you in the passenger seat. Your arm sling and cast are gone and you look as good as new, but he’s reluctant to step out of the car. You look back at him, hands fiddling in your lap.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” you begin. “I don’t know what I’d do without you and Jack.”

“You’d be just fine,” Aaron assures. “But it was nice seeing you recover. Is your arm doing okay?”

“It’s like I never had a broken arm.” You flex it in front of him for emphasis. “My shoulder’s still a bit sore but I think my physical therapist has expedited the healing process.”

Aaron smiles. “Good. I’m glad.”

A brief moment of silence falls between the two of you before you both get out of the car. Your therapist had asked you whether or not you were ready to integrate yourself back with the team and was scheduled to supervise your initial day back in the office. You’re apprehensive, however, because you know that you never perform well if you’re being watched closely.

JJ’s the first to greet you when you walk through the doors. The office smells the same and it looks the same, but it doesn’t feel the same. You spend a few extra seconds embracing JJ and gather that she needs this hug more than you do.

Everyone files in and it’s barely eight in the morning. David congratulates you on recovery, Derek and Penelope bombard you with jokes that make your stomach hurt, Emily shows you photos of Sergio upon your request, and Spencer gives you a side hug and tells you he’s glad you’re doing better.

The therapist arrives soon after and you’re on your best behavior without making it seem like you’re trying to be.

In the end, she permits you to return back to the BAU with the promise of continuing therapy. She refers to you to a few others and tells you that you should try to go in at least once a week, or however frequently your job lets you. You’re clear to fly, yield your gun, and you’re reinstated as a profiler with the BAU.

Aaron drives you back to his place to pick up your belongings before he drives you back to your apartment. He and Dave had been kind enough to drive your car back to your place, where it’s been sitting untouched.

The ride is filled with music from the eighties and you’re so elated from your first day back at work that you don’t mind singing in front of Aaron and pretending you’re shredding on an electric guitar. He takes his time getting home, taking the long way instead of the direct route, and he doesn’t think you notice. Aaron hopes you don’t.

But he arrives at his place and Jessica’s greeting you at the front door, happy to see you’ve recovered before she goes home. The sun has barely set and Jack walks out behind his aunt, asking you what’s for dinner.

You’re stunned for a moment as the realization that this all ends tonight. Staying with Aaron, falling into a life of balancing work and domesticity comes to an end when he drops you off at your apartment. Jack’s tugging on your elbow and Aaron scolds him because you might still be in a little bit of pain. He apologizes sweetly.

Aaron beckons you inside where you've started to pack your belongings. The luggage you've brought seems smaller than when you brought it, as you find it difficult to pack everything. You make the bed and set the room as you found it (to the best of your recollection), and you’re ready to put your shoes on when Aaron rounds the corner.

“I was thinking we could have one last meal here.” He clears his throat. “To celebrate your recovery.”

You don’t hesitate. “I would love that. I finally get to show you my cooking skills.”

Aaron smiles and Jack runs to your legs, beckoning you to the kitchen. You settle on making oven baked chicken with mashed potatoes and honey glazed carrots, all of which Aaron had in his refrigerator. Jack asks how he can help and you’re touched when he brings a stool to perch on, and you tell him he can help you by rinsing the potatoes.

Aaron offers to help and you look at him with a silly grin, letting him prepare the carrots while you prepare everything else. Halfway through the process, Jack becomes somewhat irritable because of hunger and because the entire kitchen smells like a Thanksgiving feast. But he relents and waits for the meal to be done when you tell him the food always tastes better when it’s cooked longer.

You almost forget it’s your last time with Aaron and Jack when you eat your meal together. You forget it when Jack insists on ice cream for dessert and when Aaron makes you a cup of tea just the way you like it. You forget about it until Jack asks his father if he can be there when he drops you off at your apartment.

Your heart breaks a little. Aaron agrees and lets you grab your belongings while he buckles Jack in the car. Your luggage is in the trunk by the time Aaron is done and he opens the passenger door for you before getting in the car himself. Jack talks the entire ride, thanking you for dinner and lamenting how much he loved spending time with you. Aaron’s grip on the steering wheel is tight and he doesn’t think his heart could swell any bigger.

Eventually, the boys walk you up to your floor and Jack lunges at your abdomen after the three of you have walked into your living room.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Jack mumbles in your sweater.

“You’ll see her around, buddy. She’s not leaving the team,” says Aaron.

“But I’ll miss Y/N at home. I like spending time with her there.”

You and Aaron share a look. You can’t tell what he’s thinking but you know you’re unable to control the influx of emotions that will eventually spill out of you when they leave.

“Me too,” Aaron says quietly.

They leave soon after that.

You spend an hour crying in your living room and you haven’t unpacked your suitcase. Living with Aaron and being so close to him made you realize how your feelings for him, albeit complicated, have always been there.

You love him. You love his generous nature. You love the adoration he has for Jack and for his team. You love how he knows your beverages of choice and how gentle he’s been with you. You love the way he says your name and you love that you feel right at home with him.

It’s ten o’clock when you grab your phone and you know Jack’s been asleep for at least an hour. You dial Aaron’s contact and in your anxious state of mind, nearly regret your actions. But he picks up and you hear the sweet melody of his voice through the phone. Your voice falters at first, but you push through them anyway. You’re sure Aaron can hear your voice post-crying because of how raspy your voice is, but you don’t care.

You tell him you think you love him and it’s not because he’s been taking care of you. You pour your heart and soul into this speech and you panic when he doesn’t say anything.

“This’ll be one hell of a story we tell Strauss.”

And you laugh. You laugh because you know Aaron feels the same and you laugh because facing paperwork and recounting this conversation to Strauss doesn’t seem like the most frightening thing in the world anymore.

But just for good measure, Aaron tells you he loves you too.

***

AAAND WE’RE DONE X

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skaybrekker · 1 month

Text

Teenage dream.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Genius, Fem! Oc(they are not a couple, I wrote this more thinking about them as soulmates, but you can interpret that they are in love), BAU Team x Oc.

Warnings: talks about bloody cases that include rape and abuse. In one part, the reader is kidnapped, but before anything bad happens her team arrives. The only thing the kidnapper does is undo the bottoms of her shirt. There is though violence before that. Nightmares (mentions of them).

Summary: At the age of 20, Aurora Leids was already working at the BAU as part of one of the most important teams there were. However, due to her age, the agents that worked with her (that ended up becoming her family) were really protective of her, aware of how young she was. Here a five situations in which they showed this.

Tags: angst, kidnapping, abuse (explained in the warnings), violence, bloody cases, comfort, fluff, protective team.

Notes: English is not my first language, I’m sorry if there are any mistakes, I tried my best. The team in this fic is formed by Hotch, Reid, Emily, Rossi, JJ, Morgan and Penelope. Rossi and Penelope don’t really appear much, sorry about that. And I’m sorry if there are scenes that end too quickly, it took a lot of energy to write something so long.

Words: 11.1k

Aurora Leids was a genius. As simple as that.

And of course, she realized that her brain worked a little different from the rest when her classmates were learning to multiply numbers and she was, by then, capable of solving a few of the most difficult algebra problems there were out there. It was not just that; at the mere age of eight, the kid had learnt how to speak three languages; Spanish, English and Italian.

Her parents noticed as well and thank God, didn’t doubt it before sending her to a special school for genius kids. There, she graduated at a very young age and went directly to study criminal justice and political science. She knew what she wanted to do since years; becoming an FBI agent was one of her most valuable goals.

Obviously, she managed to accomplish it. At the age of 20, she was already working at the BAU as part of one of the most important teams there were. However, due to her age, the agents that worked with her (that ended up becoming her family) were really protective of her, aware of how young she was.

Here a few situations in which they showed this.

----------------------------------

So, here is a fact; Mandarin was one of the hardest languages to learn. To not say the hardest. There were many things that made this 100% true; the number of characters that it had, as well as the tones, between other things. Nevertheless, Aurora loved challenges. So, she spent four years of her life learning it.

It took time, more than what she would like to admit, a lot of willingness and intelligence. Yet, she managed to dominate it, making it the sixth language she was now fluent with. After that, she also learnt Portuguese and Latin and with that, she gave her ability to learn so many idioms a rest.

Aurora never though that mandarin would be actually useful outside of China since Mandarin Chinese was primarily spoken in that country. That was, until today’s case proved her wrong.

Serial killers weren’t weird to find. Over the years, her team caught a lot of them. But this one, shit. It made her skin crawl. Because this man was uncanny, bizarre and repulsive. It wasn’t just the fact that he killed one woman per day, after raping them several times while cutting their skins; it was also that he left audio recordings of everything that happened in these scenes.

The first time that Penelope heard them, she threw up. Several times. The agent managed to calm down only when Morgan talked her through, as usual. After all, they were each other best friend, just like her and Spencer.

Aurora didn’t throw up, but she felt the bill in her throat and by the looks that the rest of the team had, they were all feeling the same.

The man left the bodies in their houses; he didn’t bother in hiding them or the DNA he left in them. They were waiting for him to make a mistake, to get out of the routine. Today was the day. They caught the man trying to enter one of the houses, after determining his next victim with the victimology and Garcia’s help. However, they discovered that he had already kidnapped the woman in the house. When they finished searching his house and didn’t find anything, the only option they had was to interrogate him.

Yeah, one hour passed since then. Morgan couldn’t get anything out of him. Not even a word. The only thing he did was to look forward and keep his mouth shut.

That was, before they discovered that he was Chinese. They already knew that he was Asian, but it was as if the man was a fucking ghost; Garcia couldn’t find him in any data base, until she did.

“He probably speaks Mandarin, that’s why his accent was so marked and there were many words we couldn’t understand.” as always, Reid stating facts. A fact that made Aurora feel so fucking stupid.

Fuck. Fuck.

How the fuck she didn’t realize before?

“And what the fuck are we going to do now? Mandarin is hell of a language; we are going to have a really hard time trying to find a translator.” Morgan sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. They were all frustrated and in a bad mood; this case had to be one of the hardest and most horrible they ever worked with.

Now, they were all in one of the rooms that the local police left them from a small city in Ohio. Hotch was standing, leaning in one of the walls, with his usual thin lips and eyes burrowed. Rossi was sitting beside him, playing with a pen in his hand. Reid, Morgan and JJ were all sitting around the table, while Aurora choose to just sit in the table.

She bite her lip, clenching and unclenching her hands, until she spoke.

“I know how to speak Mandarin.” that made her the centre of attention immediately. Every head in the office turned around to observe her. Aurora grimaced. She hated having all this attention in herself; it always made her nervous.

“You kiddin.” Morgan said, his face written with disbelief. His eyebrows were raised, and he was looking at her as if she just said that she was the serial killer instead of that man. Aurora rolled her eyes.

“No, I’m not kidding, Morgan. I speak eight languages, Mandarin is one of them,” she glanced at Hotch, “you know that.”

The man clenched his jaw. Besides her, she felt how Spencer tensed up, already realizing of what she was implying.

“I didn’t remember that Mandarin was one of them.”

“Let me in. Let me speak with him.” Hotch instantly shocks his head. Of course, he was going to say no, but Aurora could be horrible persistent when it was needed.

“Yeah, no. No chance. I’m waiting for the translator.” Aurora dropped her shoulders, tilting her head.

“Sir, with all the respect, this is the faster and easier way. That woman could be dying out there if she’s not already dead. Please.” Spencer grabbed her arm, glancing at her with his eyebrows raised, questioning her words. Aurora just shook her head; when an idea was put in her head, nothing could stop her until she accomplishes it.

“He’s a serial killer. He raped several women, several times. I’m not letting you go in the same room as him!” his tone indicated that there was not room for arguing, but Aurora was not someone used to keep quiet.

“Hotch, please. I’m begging. Come with me, do whatever you want. But let me speak with him.” her boss got up and massaged his forehead. A few seconds later, he finally nodded. Aurora smiled, relaxing.

“Alright, fine. But me and Morgan are coming with you.”

“It’s too dangerous.” Spencer immediately disagreed and Aurora glared at him.

“I agree.” Emily backed up and the girl sighed.

“He’s in chains, he probably can’t move a lot and I’m pretty sure I’m too far away from his touch. I will be fine, you are all worrying too much.” it seemed that all the team wanted to argue with her; before they could say anything though, she spoke again. “I’m doing this, guys. End of discussion.”

||||||||

It was hard as fuck to glance at this man into his eyes. Those eyes that watched so many women die in his hands, after doing so many disgusting things with them, fuck. It made Aurora sick. Yet, she couldn’t focus on that. She had a job. And she was ready to finally use her ability of speaking Mandarin.

“Hello” that got her an instant reaction. For the first time since they brought the man in, he blinked and moved his head to one side. A ghost of a smile appeared in his lips. Aurora had to shallow the bill that appeared in her throat.

“Good afternoon, Lady.” disgusting man, fuck.

Control yourself.

“You are the first American I hear speaking my language.” he was glancing at her as if she was an animal pray and she knew that Hotch and Morgan could notice it, by how hard they were glaring the man.

“Am I? That’s sad. Even if it’s a really hard language, I’ve always thought that it was really beautiful.” they both stayed silent for some seconds, until Aurora decided to speak once again. “We need to know where the woman you kidnapped is.”

His response was to smirk. To fucking smirk. He probably enjoyed this, as most of the serial killers did. Aurora clenched her fist, thinking about how they could get something out of this attempt of human being. Then, she remembered something; they found a big number of books full of Chinese Proverbs in his house; Aurora always enjoyed reading them, amazed by their meanings. Maybe that could work.

After all, most of the serial killers loved to be entertained with something. They had this idea, that the rest of the people were toys that they could play with. Alright, Aurora was ready to start playing this game. A game she was determinant to win.

“While there are green hills, there will be wood to burn.”

Where there is life, there is hope.

Once again, she got his full attention. This time, he raised his eyebrows, and his smile was even bigger. And creepier. With this, she was trying to say that if they didn’t get proof that the woman was dead, they were assuming that she was still breathing.

“To slap a horse’s back.”

To try to be nice to get something out of someone.

He knew that she was using the proverbs to get something out of him, but she didn’t care. They were working. Why? Due to the fact that with only one, she already knew that the woman was still alive. Serial killers hated to be guilty of something they never did; they only killed the people they killed. So, if he had, in fact, killed the woman, he would have taken the time to deny that she was alive.

Before she could think about how to keep going, he beat her.

“To climb a tree to catch fish.”

A lost cause. No, no. This couldn’t be a lost cause.

“Freezing into three feet depth can’t be done in one day.”

Don’t give up and you’ll see results.

At this, the man fucking laughed. Laughed at her face. Alright, making him laugh was definitely not what she was looking for. Aurora blinked, confused, until he spoke once again.

“Fine, you made me had a good time, agent and indeed, you know really well how to speak my language.” the sudden change of language made Aurora tilt her head. What the fuck? But then, it clicked. The entertainment worked.

The man glanced at Hotch, who seemed to be really close to knock this man up.

“The woman is in an abandoned house in the middle of the North Forest.”

||||||||

“What the fuck happened in there?” Emily immediately questioned her just when they got out of the room. Aurora was still a little bit shaken and dizzy. Mandarin was a language that required a lot of concentration and to go from this to English so damn fast made her headache worsen.

“I-I just talked to him. He was surprised that I could speak Mandarin, said that I was the first American he heard speak it. I quickly realized that I was not going to get anything just with that, so I remembered the number of books full of Chinese proverbs we found in his house. I love Chinese proverbs; they are so interesting and amazing. I used to read about them all the time and-. Sorry, I’m rambling. I just thought about tell him a couple of the ones I know, just to entertain him. We know how serial killers love this. The first one I said, it means ‘where there is life, there is hope´ like saying that if he didn’t deny it, the woman for us was still alive. He answered with something like about doing something to get something out of someone. He knew what I was doing. Then he spoke again, basically telling me that what I was doing was a last cause and I just replied with something about hope. And well then, he just laughed and confessed as y’all saw.” everyone in the room was looking at her as if they were impressed with what she had done. What she didn’t know was that indeed, they were impressed.

“You did a great job, Aurora.” Hotch told her and she widened her eyes, surprised. It was not normal to hear this kind of praise coming from their boss, but it made her feel this warm feeling in her chest. So, she smiled, happy.

“You really surprised us there, pretty girl.” Morgan praised, kissing her in the forehead and Aurora let out a shushed laugh, softly shocking her head. At the beginning she was just like Reid with physical affection; every little touch made her jumpy and uncomfortable. Yet, that ended up changing and now, sometimes, it was her the one that reached out for that comfort.

Emily and Reid also told her the good job she did, and Gideon just smiled to her, but that was enough for her. It was really hard to impress such an agent as the very same Jason Gideon, so that little recognition, it was enough. For her.

||||||||

Aurora loved cooking. It was something that helped calming her down and that made her disconnect from everything. People usually said that she was really good at doing this; receiving compliments about her foods always made her giggly. It was one of the few hobbies she had, something that didn’t require any type of intelligent; that what made it special.

Obtaining compliments about her mental capacity was not something weird; she was already used to. She knew how smart she was and how high her IQ was, Aurora didn’t need anyone telling her that. However, compliments about her cooking were different because of that; it was not something she was used to.

When her team discovered her cooking abilities, they were absolutely amazed. And after insisting, they managed to convince Aurora to cook for one member every day.

Mondays, for Hotch. Tuesdays, Rossi. Wednesday, Emily. Thursday, Reid. Friday, Derek. Saturday, Garcia. Sunday, JJ.

It didn’t take much of an effort to persuade her to do this. Honestly, cooking was one of her favourite ways of expressing her love for the people she cared about.

Today, it was Thursday, the very same day they caught the Chinese man and Aurora interrogated him. They had already come back to Virginia and now, they were all filling the reports. Thinking ahead before leaving to Ohio, she left two lunch boxes with food for when they came back in the fridge.

“Dinner is here!” she exclaimed, giving Reid one of the lunch boxes. He gave her a big smile, probably a little confused based in his quizzical expression, since he was not expecting this. When he noticed the pasta, he laughed, knowing that it was one of her best dishes.

“This is literally the best. Thanks, Rora.”

For this occasion, she cooked an Italian pasta, with a sauce called “Pesto Genovese.” Italian food was always the one that she enjoyed cooking the most, after all, she had loved pasta as long as she remembered.

“You don’t know how much I envy you, Reid.” Morgan commented. Spencer stuck his tongue out in his direction and the older man gasped in fake surprise.

“JJ!” the blonde chuckled watching their interaction; it was as if she was watching two little kids bothering each other. While they started to eat, Morgan and JJ sat closer to them.

“I didn’t know you could speak eight languages, pretty girl.” the older man changed the topic and Aurora grimaced.

“I thought you all did.” she just lifts her shoulders, grabbing another bite of her pasta. She shouldn’t say this, but it was pretty good.

“Which ones do you know?” JJ asked, sounding genuinely curious and Aurora smiled.

“Well English obviously, Spanish, Italian, French, Latin, Japanese, Portuguese and Mandarin.” all of them lifted their heads clearly amazed by her words and the girl blushed. It was something so normal for her to know eight languages that she usually forgot how shocking it could be for others.

“That’s crazy.” Derek huffed out, letting out a loud laugh that cracked a smile in Aurora’s face.

---------------------------

It was the first time that Aurora fitted in the victimology of the serial killer perfectly. At the point in which it was fucking scary. Especially for her. And for the team as well. They were acting a lot more overprotective that usually. They didn’t let her alone for one second.

Reid was always there when she needed coffee or something to eat, not letting her go anywhere and going there to get anything for her. Morgan didn’t let her out of his sight for a second, coming with her to revise every one of the scenes. JJ didn’t make it too obvious, but Aurora always felt her presence when they were in the police department of Florida, where they were working this case. Hotch and Emily kept her, intentionally, always as close to them as they could.

Rossi was not as protective as the rest, but Aurora noticed how unusually angry this case made him, lashing out all the time, due to the stress of not being able to solve it.

Two days later after they arrived, they managed to finally capture the guy they had as a primary suspect. Nevertheless, they had a problem; they didn’t have all the proof needed to show that he was, indeed, the killer. He didn’t leave any DNA in the scenes; they couldn’t get any video of the man or any testimony. All that they had was a drawing from a victim that escaped and a tape of his voice and another victim’s voice they found in one of the houses.

It wasn’t enough and they were running out of time. Hotch, Gideon and Morgan had already tried everything they could. Nothing worked. And of course, Aurora had already thought about a plan. A plan that nobody was going to like, but well, whatever.

“You should let me interrogate him.” after her words, the room fell totally in silent. Once again, they were all looking at her. This was becoming more common that what Aurora would like.

“Are you crazy, woman?”

“No.”

“That’s not happening.”

“Aurora, I love you, but this is a big no.”

“Are you out of your mind?”

She got all the replies in one second.

Morgan. Hotch. Reid. JJ. Emily. In that order.

The girl waved her arms widely, letting out a big sigh. She understood their behaviour, she really did, but fuck it was so frustrating. They were acting as if she was a little girl that needed protection when she was not little and didn’t need protection.

“Fuck’s sake, you guys. I’m not someone who needs protection, I know pretty well how to defend myself. So, thank you, it’s cute, but man. This is the only way. If any of you have a better plan, please! Share it with the class.” silence was all she got as an answer. The girl huffed out, rolling her eyes.

“She’s right.” after hearing Rossi, all of them immediately protested. The man scratched the back of his neck, a clear signal that he was as frustrated as everyone was. “I know, I know. I like it as much as you do. But we are running out of options, and we need his confession. We can’t let this man out, under any circumstances.” Aurora smiled satisfied. Hotch bite his lip a couple of times before nodding. Derek and Spencer both seemed as if they wanted to clearly disagree; Aurora glared at them with all her strength.

“Fine, but-”

“Yes, yes, you and Morgan come with me, I know.”

|||||||||

Just as she stepped in the room, the man instantly looked up and Aurora noticed how his expression quickly changed. Now, he was wearing a confident face, with a what someone would call a flirty smile. He straightened and cleared his throat.

“And who are you, sweetheart?” then, he looked at Morgan and Hotch, “you really brought me a beautiful gift.” they immediately started to walk closer to the man, probably ready to beat him up, but Aurora put her hands up and stopped them.

“It’s okay.” she whispered, smiling to the boys. She heard the man laughing but choose to ignored it and walk directly to the chair in front of him.

“Bossy, eh? I like you.” Aurora didn’t let the man get her. Instead, she glanced firmly at him, staying like that, for about three minutes. The man seemed to get more impatient at every second that went through.

“My name is Agent Leids and I think that both of us know why we are here.” she finally spoke, putting her arms above the table and softly tilting her head. The man, once again, laughed.

“Do we, Agent Leids?” this wasn’t a strange strategy that people choose to use when they were accused. In was weird in serial killers, though. However, there were many options to break the act. And Aurora knew exactly which one to use to make it work this time.

“You know, this case had become really famous. Many women called us, scared of this mysterious man.” his smile was becoming bigger and bigger. “Yet, there is a problem. If we don’t know who this man is, this case is probably going to be forgotten.” it sounded stupid, because it was stupid. That was not true. An absolutely 100% lie. Yet, he would probably believe it. During the case, he demonstrated several times the level of stupidity he had.

So, of course, he fell for the lie. His smile was whipped out of his face and now, he was frowning. It wasn’t common for them to catch serial killers that were not really smart, but it seemed that this time they got lucky.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Aurora had to resist the smile that was about to adorn her lips.

“Well, if we don’t know who it is, nobody would remember it. After all, it would be just a case that we failed to solve. Why should we let it remain in people’s memories? In some weeks, nobody is going to remember who this man was.” she shuddered, knowing that this was definitely a lie. If they didn’t catch this man, people were probably going to become even more paranoid than they already were. However, this man didn’t need to know that.

Her last comment finally made him exploit; the reaction that Aurora was looking for.

“YOU BITCH!” he hit the table while standing up and Hotch and Morgan reacted right away, stepping in front of her but Aurora stayed in her place, refusing to move, frozen. Now, the killer was glancing at her from above, with a finger signalling directly at her. “Nobody would forgive me. I did every single thing to make this case special. This is going to be legendary. People will always remember me, especially the families of the women’s I killed.” finally.

After hearing this, Aurora stood up, smiling.

“That’s exactly what we needed. Thank you!” when she finally got out of the room, Aurora let out the breath that she was holding. Fuck, fuck. Her heartbeat was too fucking loud, and her hands were now shaking.

She hated herself for that. It wasn’t anything weird, she just talked to the serial killer, something that his colleagues did all the time. She did it all the time. Then, why was she feeling like this? Why this time was any different?

“Hey, hey, Aurora, listen to me.” Reid was the first one to react, walking closer to the girl and softly putting his hands in her shoulders. As a first reaction, she flinched, but when she comprehended that it was Spencer the one that was touching her, she relaxed. “Everything is alright. You are alright.” Aurora nodded, several times.

“I know, I know.” she mumbled, still a little shaken and lost.

Weak, weak. You are weak.

Then, Spencer decided to bring her to his chest, hugging her and there, Aurora finally let her shoulders lose all tense, sighing and putting her arms around his body, feeling finally safe.

“Aurora.” Hotch softly said a few minutes later. She broke the hug, but keep Reid’s warm body close, needing some kind of comfort, and glanced at her boss. Even if he would never admit it, Aurora knew that he had some kind of soft spot for her. Morgan had repeatedly remarked this every time he could. Garcia often told her that it was pure envy. “You are not weak. It’s normal to react like that after noticing how that man was looking at you. You did a good job.” the girl smiled at him, grateful, and nodded.

“Yeah, it’s alright. I’m just a little shaken.”

“A coffee might fix that?” JJ loved to take care of the members of the team. They usually called it her mama spirit.

“Definitely.”

-----------------------------------

Aurora knew that something was wrong the instant she opened the door of her apartment. Morgan brought her, after a case that left all of them tired out. Hotch ordered them to go home and rest, saying that they all deserve it. Nobody complaint, obviously.

She lived a couple of blocks from Derek, so he always took her home after work, since she still didn’t know how to drive. They had already promised with Reid to learn how to the next year. For now, she intended to keep this routine that the pair had gotten used to.

Even if she was totally worn out, the girl noticed straight away that there was another presence in the place. Many ideas crossed her mind, yet the quickest was to go by herself with the gun in her hand. Calling Derek would take too much time and she didn’t know what to expect, so, she preferred to keep only herself in danger for now.

Pointing her gun up, she started to slowly walk to the kitchen. Once she arrived there, she turned on the lights and when she saw who was waiting for her, she growled. Fucking shit, now? Couldn’t this happen tomorrow for Christ’s sake? All Aurora wanted was her bed to sleep for more than four hours. That’s all she asked. However, it seemed that life just hated her.

“Hello little sister.”

Yes, her big brother was the one waiting for her. She had even forgotten that he had a copy of her keys. In which moment did she think that doing that would be a good idea? My God. Even geniuses like her could be really stupid when they wanted.

He was just the same as he was two years ago, the last time she had seen him. Dirty, messed up and probably wasted.

“What the fuck are you doing here? Are you going to ask me for money? Please. Get out of here, Chris. Now.” she demanded, still with her gun in her hand.

They never had a good relationship. Due to the fact that Aurora was what people would classify as a genius, her brother envied her from a young age. She was always the perfect little miss, and she knew that he hated that. The one that made her parents proud, the example.

So, he started to bully her since she was fourteen. Made her go through hell with his friends until she finally decided to abandon the house after her parents died in an accident four years ago. Aurora hated him. She had always wanted the big brother that took care of her, that protected her. Yet, that was not what life had given her. At least, not with blood.

“My, my. That’s how receive your big brother?” he got up and Aurora gave a step back. She didn’t know the type of damage that her brother could cause in this state. He was clearly drunk and probably drugged as well. That image of him made her eyes tear a bit. Why did he have to be like this? Why couldn’t he keep being the sweet big brother he was when she was little?

“Please, Chris. Just get out. Do both of us a favour. I don’t want to make a scene.” she was practically begging. Although, her brother just laughed. Laughed at her face. And kept walking closer and closer, until she had her caged like a pray.

“Little sister, you know I don’t take orders from you.” Tequila. His breath was easy to recognize and due to how dilated his pupils where, he was probably high in marijuana. He had been an addict since their parents died, it was not something weird, but this made him even more dangerous that what he already was when he was sober.

“Get out of my house, Christian. I won’t repeat myself.” she had expected many things. Screams, things throw, but not a punch. In her face.

He punched her straight in her right cheek, making her stumble and fall to the floor. She bite her lip, not letting the cry of pain out and got up right away. It hurt like a bitch, but she was not about to show any type of weaknesses in front of him. Without hesitation, she hit her brother in the face and kicked him, making him fall directly into the sofa. There, he punched the boy a couple more of times, until she could stop considering him as a threat.

“I told you to get out. Now do it if you don’t want me to break your ribs, Christian. You know that I know how to do it and how to do it even more painful.” the boy snorted in her face, but finally got up and left the house, not before breaking some things she had in her house. When he finally got out, closing the door, Aurora let her wobbly legs fail and fell into the floor, becoming a mess of sobs.

She never asked for this. All that she wanted was to have a good family, to be accepted even if she was special. But what she got was death parents and an addicted brother who hated her. Fuck.

|||||||

It was not easy to hide a bruise in her face. It was always easier to hide bruises in literally every place, but in the face. This, sadly, was not the first time that something like that happened. The girl had already hidden her bruises several times.

Damn you Christian Leids.

Even if she was complaining, punches in the face never hurt that much. The worst ones were in the stomach. God if she had broken ribs, so many times she couldn’t even try to count them.

Aurora had to use an insane amount of make up, so she just used a hat and tried to not look at the faces of the team, avoiding them as much as she could and doing everything she could alone. It was easier this way. She knew that they already know that obviously something was wrong, but maybe if she keep going like this, she could brush it later as just exhaustion.

However, she should have known that Derek was too fucking stubborn.

After capturing the UnSub, she didn’t have any other option than driving back to the airport in the same car as Derek. She kept her sight fixed in the window, refusing to look at him in any way. Of course, he got tired of this.

“Would you fucking look at me, Aurora?” he finally demanded when his patience quickly ran out. The girl bite the inside of her cheek, not wanting to talk.

“Why would you want me to look at you?” suddenly, he turned the car around and stopped it in the middle of the street in which they were. Aurora yelped due to the sudden reaction. “What the hell, Derek?”

“Look at me, Aurora. I’m not driving this car until you look at me.” the girl let out a couple of curses, until she finally sighed and decided to fulfil Derek’s demand. After all, she didn’t doubt the man’s words. He was not driving this car until she did that.

When she glanced at him, he softly grabbed her cheeks and the girl let out a groan of pain. Derek’s eyes darkened and he tilted her head to the left, looking straight at the bruise she tried to cover up the best that she could during the day.

“You tell me what happen, now.” He growled, driving the car to one of the sides of the rode, not standing in the middle of it anymore. Aurora rolled her eyes, but felt somehow, grateful with his clear concern. It always felt good to know that they worried about her, it felt as if she had someone in her life. Because outside her team, she truly didn’t have anyone.

“I’m okay.” the man just raised his eyebrows. When the girl refused to talk for a couple more of seconds again, he gritted his teeth.

“Who did this to you, Aurora? Don’t make me go to Hotch.”

“You are going to Hotch anyway.” she knew that it was true. Derek had this instinct of taking care of the younger ones and he never hesitated to go to talk to their boss when the situation demanded this. The man in front of her clenched his jaw.

“Yes, I will. So, either way I’m going to find out what happened. You tell me know or I find out when you tell the rest of the team.” her relationship with her brother was never something that she really wanted to share, even if somehow it was important. It always made her feel so much shame and besides that, she never found the ideal situation to tell her team that her brother was a horrible human being.

Aurora sighed, knowing that she didn’t have much of a choice here.

“Fine, okay, you win.” Derek was still looking directly at her, expecting the answer he wanted. She bite her lip, nervous. What would his reaction be? She had never told anyone about this. He was going to be the first to find out about the little problems she had with her family. “I had a small fight with my brother. You should see him, really.” she tried to joke, yet Derek’s expression was anything but happy.

“Did you just say that your brother hit you?” he raised his eyebrows, his face twitching and Aurora just nodded, not knowing really how to handle the situation.

“We, obviously, don’t have the best relationship and well, let’s say that we had a disagreement, and it didn’t end well.” I mean, she knew that the situation was not normal, but for her it was.

“Aurora, you are telling me this as if this was a diary thing.” Aurora scratched her neck, grimacing. It wasn’t exactly a diary thing, but it wasn’t the first time that this happened.

“It’s not a diary thing, but I’m, I just I don’t have a good relationship with him. That’s it. We hate each other and it have always been like that.” the girl was brushing off the problem making it pretty obvious. It was so uncomfortable to talk about this and thank God, Morgan noticed. He just huffed out.

“This conversation is not over.”

|||||||

Aurora had hoped that Morgan would magically forget about this. Of course, he didn’t. After arriving to the airport and boarding the plane, the first thing that he did was asking for a first-aid kit.

“What? Why do you need it?” JJ asked him, frowning. Derek just raised his eyebrows and pointed his finger in Aurora’s direction. She rolled her eyes, showing him the middle finger. The blonde ignored the whole scene and walked in her direction, grabbing her face and noticing right away the ugly bruise in her cheek. “What the hell, Aurora?”

At her words, everyone turned around. The girl knew that the makeup had already disappear and her bruise could already be seen, so, she wasn’t surprised when they all got up at the same time, concern written in their faces.

Spencer was the one closer to her, as usual, so he was the first one that carefully grabbed her chin with one of his hands and tilted her head to the left, leaving the bruise at everyone’s sight.

“It seems pretty recent. Last night if I’m not mistaken.” his face was furrowed deeply in concern. He was looking at her with those puppy eyes that usually charmed people to do anything he wanted. Doing this, he managed to get Aurora to apologize.

“Sorry.” she mumbled. From the start she knew that it would be stupid to hid this from the team, but old habits hardly die. Spencer shook slowly his head, smiling at her, rubbing her left cheek softly. At his actions, her heartbeat increased, and she felt the blush covering her face.

“Who did this to you?” Hotch asked; he had his lip tight, and his eyebrows furrowed, glancing directly at her without moving his sight. Aurora swallowed, suddenly feeling more nervous than before. It was one thing to tell one person about her problems and it was another thing to tell the whole team. Noticing her feelings, Spencer angled her face to look at him.

“It’s okay, Aurora. We are not angry. You can trust all of us.” deep inside, she knew that they weren’t angry, but fuck. It was a difficult situation, alright? She had never been confronted with this topic and the girl didn’t know how to deal with it.

“Let’s just say that I, um, I have a big brother. And well, I never had a good relationship with him, we basically hate each other. He is a drug addicted since my parents died a couple of years ago and well, last night, he suddenly showed up at my apartment. He was, indeed, wasted and drunk. We had a little argument in which I tried to kick him out and out of the blue he hit me. Obviously, I hit him too after that a couple of times and I managed to get him out of my house.” when she finished talking, Spencer immediately grabbed her hands and he noticed how they were bruised as well. Nothing major, but they might need to be disinfected.

“Your brother?” Aaron asked with his eyebrows raised and Aurora just shuddered. Trying to make her problems seem less than what they were was something she got used to since a really young age. After some seconds more of pure silence, without saying anything JJ grabbed the quit and took out some cotton and the antiseptic.

“Emily, please bring the ice pack that’s in the fridge.” the woman softly took her hands and put the antiseptic in the bruises. Aurora had to hold a groan of pain, fuck, she had forgotten how much it burn. Observing her reaction, JJ bite her lip. “Sorry.”

Aurora chuckled, shaking her head.

“It’s nothing.” she mumbled, giving her a small smile.

“Is this something normal?” Reid asked after some time, while Aurora was applying herself the ice in the cheek, trying to make the swelling go down. Aurora blinked, confused. Then, she remembered the topic they were talking about. Oh.

In what sense normal? I mean, it didn’t happen every week, but it wasn’t the first time that she had to go through this. Rough childhood.

“I don’t think so.” stupid answer, she knew it from the moment it came out of her mouth.

“You don’t think so?!” Derek replied, widening his eyes and standing up.

“No, no, I mean, fuck.” she grumbled, rubbing her face. Once again, Reid started to pat slowly her arm, looking at her with that cute smile and those shining eyes.

“It’s okay.” he whispered, trying to calm her down. It worked, obviously. At the end of the day, Spencer was her anchor to earth.

“It’s not something that happens weekly if that’s the question. The last time I saw him was two years ago. It did happen more often that I would like to admit when I was younger, but well. Nothing I can do for that now.”

“You shouldn’t have gone through that, Aurora.” Hotch softly replied to her, his gaze full of empathy and, thank God, not pity.

“I know.” she whispered, forming a small smile in her face, trying to calm the rest of the team.

----------------

When Aurora started to work for the BAU, getting kidnapped was not part of her list of to do things. Due to the risks of her work, she knew that it could happen, yet it was something that seemed so impossible.

Well, sometimes the impossible could be, instead, the improbable.

The case they were working was one in a million.

It started when woman began to disappear in LGBT clubs in New Jersey and then appeared in the forest dead, with clear marks of rape and violence. After it happened with four women, they decided to finally call the FBI.

The profile they gave was like this; a woman, probably between her 20s and 30s, extroverted and charming, good at talking and that could probably go unnoticed, lesbian but probably the people around her didn’t know.

They were right about everything, by the way.

When she was taken, they were investigating one of the forests they had found one of the victims. Aurora walked away a little from the rest, getting quickly lost. While she was trying to get some signal to call her team, something hit her in the head making her black out.

She woke up in what it seemed to be some kind of basement. During the pleasant trip her kidnapper took her, she remembered some pieces here and there. If she could focus enough, she could probably get the address of this house. It wasn’t a big town and they had already driven around the place for different motives. She knew her way.

Yet, it wasn’t easy. The concussion the woman left her didn’t help in the slightest. It was probably light, based in her symptoms. Feeling tired, foggy vision, the headache that felt as if her head was about to be split open, doziness, between other things. And, as if that wasn’t enough, she also felt a strong pain in her chest area every time she fucking breathed.

Broken rib. Concussion. Great. This couldn’t get any better, really.

“Well, hello there, love. You finally woke up!” holy fucking shit, what was the need of speaking that loud? She could feel her head literally beat, making her clench her jaw to resist the groan of pain. When her vision finally became cleared, she saw the woman for the first time.

Tall, probably twenty-five years old, brunette, blue eyes, sharp jaw, honestly if Aurora came across this woman in the street, she would probably think that she was a supermodel, not a fucking serial killer. She had this smirk in her face that showed clear superiority, standing 100% straight and looking down at Aurora.

She didn’t react. Instead, she choose to glare at the woman and then carefully inspect her surroundings. Clearly, she was tied up, sat in a chair in the middle of the room. Moving her wrists and toes was impossible based in how hard she had tied the knots of a thick brown rope. There were three computers in front of her and a camera was pointing directly at her, with the red light that indicated that it was on.

“Oh, you already noticed the camera. Of course, I didn’t expect anything less from an FBI agent. Say hello to your friends!” Aurora whipped her head around to observe the woman, her eyes widened, and eyebrows raised. Yet, she regretted moving too fast, action that made her whole-body tremble in pain. She hissed (thing that also hurt), but still looked directly at the woman.

“My friends?” her voice was raspy and the thirst she felt immediately became a problem. Based in her voice, her hunger and the light that came through the small windows, about ten hours happened between this moment and the moment she was kidnapped.

The woman, that she was about to nickname as Maniac, let out a laud laugh (that made her headache once again).

“Yes! Your friends! I’m broadcasting this to them! I’m sure that they are loving it.”

Stupid fucking mistake.

A plan was already forming quickly in her head, after finally being able to locate the house, she was in. Based in the number of turns, directions, how she could look at the sun, the trees she managed to observe and the house in front of this one, she got it. It was about twenty minutes away from the police station, and the street was Franklin, 291.

So, Reid and she had been best friends from the very first moment she entered the BAU; most of the times, they felt that the only ones that could understand them were each other. Trying to find a way of communicating that only them would interpret, the obvious idea was Morse Code.

Aurora, as the fanatic of languages she was, already knew how to speak it. It didn’t take too much for Reid to learn it and it became, somehow, their secret language. It could be a little bit childish, but God, how much she thanked that they had taken the time to do this.

After glancing at the camera and quickly looking away, she started to slowly and quietly, press her finger to the chair, praying that Reid would be capable of understanding was she was doing. It couldn’t be this easy, though.

“So, Aurora, that’s your name, right?” she just nodded, guessing that answering her would be the better option, still focused on the Morse Code. “As I guess that you already know, I enjoy a lot of hurting people. Are you ready to give a little show for your people?”

She finished. Franklin 291. Those were the words she spoke.

Please, please, let this work.

A sudden slap in her face made her gasp. She should have seen this coming, fuck.

|||||||||

“FUCK!” Derek hit the wall in front of him, rage shining through his eyes. The whole team was on edge; their youngest agent was kidnapped. One of their biggest fears became finally real. Garcia was doing everything she could to try to get the fucking address, but it was as if nothing was working for them.

It hurt to observe Aurora it such a weak state and it made them feel a desperation that horrified them; it was a sensation that they never wanted to feel again.

Spencer had tears in his eyes. His chest was close, and it hurt to breath. However, that was not important. Not right now. Not when his girl was about to be tortured in front of them and none could do absolutely anything.

That was, until he noticed how Aurora quickly glanced at the camera and then glanced back at the woman. Blinking, he observed how she started to move silently her fingers and when he understood what she was doing, he let out a yelp.

“GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WRITE!” the team jumped at the sudden scream, but Emily reacted and gave him some paper with a pencil she had at hand from Penelope.

.._. / ._. / ._ / _. / _._ / ._.. /.. / _.

.._ _ _ / _ _ _ _ . / . _ _ _ _

“Franklin 292. That’s the address. THAT’S THE ADDRESS!” they didn’t question him. Right away, Hotch started to yell instructions and they all ran.

||||||||||

“ANSWER ME” Maniac yelled, spitting in her face and she nodded.

“YES! Yes, yes.” the fear was starting to grow inside her, suddenly getting how dangerous this situation was. Focusing so much in analysing the whole scenario, she didn’t realize that the worst part was right in front of her. Maniac had killed woman, raped them getting off in hurting them.

And she was probably about to do the same with her.

Panic started to fill her chest and her breath became quicker, thing that made her pain in the chest became even worst.

The slap made her dizzy, her sight whiting out. When she came back, the woman already had a knife with her, and the psychopath smile she wore made Aurora gulp. She was strong as fuck and she was pretty sure she could take her out in a fight, but like this? Weak was a small word to describe how she felt.

“So, let’s begin.”

Aurora already knew how this was going to go. The woman kept the same MO for very victim, and she doubted that this was going to be any different. The first wounds were always the same; two large cuts in the thighs, one in each one. Neither of them was too deep, avoiding the risk of the victim bleeding out.

When she finished, she made some cuts in the face of the victim and then, the next step was the rape. They had found some random haematomas, probably a result of making the UnSub angry. It wouldn’t be really smart to anger the woman, but now, Aurora understood the victims.

The first cut made her grunt in pain, yet she refused to show any sign of pain. She kept a straight face, looking directly at the woman, with her jaw clench. That seemed too unsatisfied her since the next cut was a little bit deeper and she dragged the knife slower, searching to have a better reaction.

Aurora wasn’t planning on giving her that. And she knew that doing this, she was starting to make Maniac losing her patience.

The punch should come at any time now.

“Fuck you.” she gasped, refusing to look anywhere that it wasn’t her kidnapper’s eyes.

And, yes, she was right. Eight seconds after (blame Spencer for sticking to her the mania of always keeping the exact track of time), the woman hit her straight in the face. This time, she couldn’t hold the moan of pain.

Her breath inched and fucking shit, she didn’t know that a broken nose could hurt this much. Her eyes were teary and her whole body was shaking. Even though she felt weaker than never, Aurora gather the saliva with the blood in the mouth and spite in the face of the woman, thing that made her laugh.

“Oh, how much I love when they are nasty.”

Then, she proceeded to grab her jaw and slowly started to cut her left cheek. Without being able to hold it, she let out a cry, tears falling from her eyes. When she finished with the cut, after looking directly at it for one or two minutes, still with a creepy smile in her face, she left the knife in the floor and Aurora gulped, the need to throw up increasing every moment it went through.

Maniac took the buttons of her shirt and started to slowly undo them.

“NO!” she screamed and kept screaming the same word, probably hurting her vocal cords, moving her whole body as much as she could, desperation totally filling her instincts. This couldn’t happen, no. Please. “PLEASE, STOP!” her sobs were totally broken and hearing her, the only reaction she got was a laugh.

Before she could keep actually going with this torture, they both heard some noise upstairs. At first, Aurora didn’t notice, until she saw how the smile in the woman’s face was whipped out.

“IN HERE!” she couldn’t remember a time in her life in which she had screamed so fucking loud. The woman didn’t have any time to react; one second, she was panicking and the next, they were throwing her door down.

“FBI! GET AWAY FROM HER AND PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOU HEAD!” surprisingly, she did it immediately. Aurora couldn’t hold the low laugh that left her. So, after all, she was actually just a fucking coward.

“Coward.” she gasped out, regretting it quickly after feeling how much it hurt to fucking talk. She coughed, spitting blood.

“Aurora.” Morgan was the first one that looked at her. His face made Aurora felt sick; he gave the impression that he didn’t get any sleep any time soon, dark bags decorated his eyes. Hotch didn’t seem to be any different, just like Emily and Spencer. She couldn’t blame them, knowing how the situation was looking. Aurora probably had her face full of blood, her thigs the same.

They unleashed her and for the first time in hours, she felt the blood rushing through her wrist and toes. Sighing, she tried to get up. However, her legs failed, and she almost fell down, if it wasn’t for Derek; not a surprise, he had the quickies reflexes between all of them. However, when he grabbed her, she fell into an immediate panic.

“NO! DON’T TOUCH ME!” she tried to get away from the hold, cries leaving her mouth.

“AURORA! Please, it’s me. Derek, Derek Morgan! You’re okay, you’re safe.” when she finally recognized the voice, she relaxed after letting out a sob out of relief.

“WE NEED AN AMBULANCE!”

“Aurora, hey, hey.” now that the adrenaline was going down, she started to actually feel the consequences of the wounds and her light concussion. Yet, when she heard how worried Spencer’s sounded, she tried her best to focus on the boy. “Rora, we need to know your wounds.” she didn’t really understand him, all she could think about was that they found her thanked to him.

“You understood.” she said with her raspy and trembling voice. Trying what he could to calm her down, Spencer took her hands in his and smiled in her direction.

“Yes, yes, of course I did, love. But I need you to focus for me, alright?” blinking, she just nodded. “Okay, that’s good. What hurts, Aurora? What’s wrong?”

Everything hurt. She couldn’t answer that, obviously, so doing the best she could, she tried to find the worst wounds and remember which ones hurt the most.

“I think I have a slight concussion, probably a broken rib. She punched me in the face, broken nose and lip. Two cuts in my thighs, large but neither of them deep. And one in the cheek-” before she could keep going, she let out a gasp and grabbed her stomach, yelping in pain. Her sobs made everything worst.

The following moments were pretty unclear for her. She probably blacked out and back several times. When she finally woke up, Aurora noticed that she was, thank God, in a fucking hospital instead of that goddamn basement. And the whole team was sleeping in the same room as here.

She smiled, feeling a warm sensation spread through her chest. Knowing them, this was probably the first time they actually slept in days. The team had already gone through this with Spencer once, even remembering those days hurt; she couldn’t imagine the desperation they had to go through.

“Aurora, you are awake.” Hotch was the first one to notice, opening his eyes some minutes later probably hearing her move. Aurora grimaced.

“Sorry for waking you up.” he immediately shook his head. After she talked, all of them woke up; hearing her must be the thing that made them react. They all jolted up, getting up from the places they were sleeping, Hotch, Emily and Spencer in a coach, Derek from the floor.

“Pretty girl.” he mumbled, sprinting in her direction and taking her hands in his. She smiled, trying to make him feel less worried.

“You all saved my life. Thank you.” it still bothered her to speak. However, she couldn’t hold this. She needed to thank them.

“Don’t talk. We know it hurts. You were right, you have a broken rib.” Spencer replied right away.

||||||

Hotch let her take some days off after the event. When she went back, everything felt normal once again. Or at least, she was trying her best to making it look normal. But her nightmares and panic was becoming worse over the days and her ability to hide it had a limit, as everything did.

It was the third day in a row that she only got hours to sleep. She was barely surviving on a basis of coffee and the sleep she could get in the plane. Every day it became more difficult to close her eyes and fall in sleep; every time she fucking tried, she woke up screaming, feeling the woman’s hands all over her body.

And the team was begging to notice. She had it coming, after all she worked with fucking profilers. It was impossible for them to not notice, even with that promise of not profiling each other.

“Aurora.” Spencer spoke and she turned around. He was glancing at her with a face full of concern and probably slightly judging the fact that this was her, fourth? Or fifth coffee, she couldn’t really remember.

“Spencer! Hi! Do you need something?” even if she tried to mask her weariness, she was probably doing a disaster of a job because fuck, she was even tired by the mere thought of keeping this act going on.

And her theory was confirmed by the look on Spencer’s face.

“Can we talk for a little bit?”

Aurora wanted to say no. She wanted to refuse, to answer him that there was nothing they needed to talk about, but she knew that those things were lies.

“Fine.”

She followed him until they arrived in one room, where the whole team was, probably waiting for them. Aurora frowned, tensing her shoulders. She didn’t like how this seemed, as if they were planning to do this without her knowledge.

“Aurora, we are going to be straightly blunt here. We know that you are not sleeping well. Let us help you to find a solution.” As always, Hotch went directly to the point, as expected. Aurora liked that; like that, she didn’t become so nervous before somebody finally talked.

She sighed, sitting down in one of the chairs and stayed in silence for a few minutes.

They waited.

“Alright, yes. I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see her, and I wake up screaming. After that, I usually can’t fall sleep again, terrified that if I do, I will have to see her face again.” Aurora finally admitted aloud what was happening to her. Their eyes showed a mix of pity and sadness.

Derek was the first one to get up, kneeling in front of her, taking the girl’s hands.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” he softly asked, with his eyebrows raised. She sighed, shaking her head.

“I didn’t want to bother anyone.”

“You could never bother us, Aurora.” Emily immediately replied and everyone in the room quickly agreed. Her eyes became teary, asking herself what she did to deserve such a warm and welcoming family.

Growing up, it was always hard to fall apart since everyone always expected her to be perfectly fine, since she was indeed, the perfect girl. Yet, the number of breakdowns she had were countless. Aurora always had to suffered them alone, so, she became used to be comforted only by herself. And it was hard to admit that maybe, only maybe, she didn’t have to keep suffering these kinds of things alone.

“You didn’t have them while we were staying with you, right?” Hotch asked. The first week after they realised her from the hospital, everyone on the teams took turns to help her with simple things she couldn’t do and to keep her company, due to the fact that Aurora seemed terrified by the thought of being alone.

After she returned to work though, she told them that she would be fine and that they had already done enough for her. A clear mistake.

“No, I didn’t.” Aurora murmured, blushing. Hotch nodded and got up.

“Alright, we will do this; we are going to take turns to go to Aurora’s house every night.” Before she could talk, Hotch shook his head. “I will not take a no as an answer, Aurora. We are going to do this; you like it or not.” The tone of his voice didn’t let anything up to discussion, so Aurora sighed, knowing that she didn’t have any other option.

“Fine. Thank you, guys, really. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

-------------------------------

Comments about her age weren’t exactly uncommon. There were a lot of people who absolutely hated (or envied) the fact that at such a young age, she was a successful agent working for the FBI. It was something that they always complaint about with Spencer.

Today, the comment made went too far.

They were working in a case about kidnappings, in which none of the ten victims were found; they had a few leads and the only thing they had to confirm that this was actually happening was a series of videos left from the UnSub, where all the victims appeared in some dark room, all of them blindfolded, repeating the exact same words.

The problem was that they weren’t greatly received by the local police in Alexandria, Washington DC. Glares were always thrown in their direction; even the Head Police doubted every fucking word they said, questioning with the typical “Profiles just guess.” Ridiculous behaviour, if they asked Aurora, but whatever.

The worst part was while they were giving the profile.

“You’re looking for a man, probably in his early thirties, white, introverted, usually terrified of the action of talking to people. You will never find him in big events, he hates big crowds.” as usual, Hotch started, with his serious face.

“He loves watching his victims suffer and enjoys noticing how much power he has over them, yet he doesn’t want them to see him, afraid that they would probably laugh if they saw who kidnapped them.” Emily went on. Aurora could already see a few police men looking at each other, disbelief writing all over their faces and she rolled her eyes.

“Based in the little we heard from him, he’s from here, local. He knows his way and the victims, probably lived in Alexandria his whole life.” in cases like this, when they said that the UnSub was local, they never believed them. And obviously, this couldn’t be the expetion.

“Impossible. I’ve known this people my whole life, this man can’t be from here.” Mike, the Head of the Police, immediately disagreed. He had been acting pretty rude to them since they arrived, to the point in which Derek asked Hotch ´Why the hell did he ask for our help if he doesn’t believe a word that we say? ´

Needless to say, Aurora totally agreed with him.

“We heard his accent; we are totally sure that he’s from here. Besides, it’s impossible for an outsider to know these streets so well.” Aurora calmly answered him. Nevertheless, Mike didn’t take her input nicely.

“And what the hell would you know about? You should be in fucking college, I asked for the FBI, no for a teenager that dares to tell my business and question how my people are.” for a moment, the girl stayed silent, too stoned to even react to his words. What the fuck?

It was the first time in her whole life that someone talked so bluntly at her in front of her collages. I mean, yes, some officers made comments when they were alone because they were cowards who didn’t dare to say anything in front of Hotch, but in front of so many people? Never.

Before anyone from her squad could react, she stood up and walked in his direction, stopping when she was in front of him. She glanced at him from head to toes and smiled.

“You’re divorced. Recently. Probably not more than two weeks. You have two children, a daughter, and a son. Right now, the kids are probably with the mother, since you look at your phone every five minutes waiting for updates. Your son probably plays football, and you are always supporting him, because it’s your frustrated dream. You had to stop due to some kind of major injure, something with your leg based in how you limp when you’re too tired. You love control, that’s why you know every little detail about your employees; you always want to know how they are, where they are. Lately, you are not having your best performance here and you’re probably under a threat of being suspended. I suspect it is due to your divorce. You were born in Texas, but moved out when you were a kid. Still have a light accent. You wear more clothes to appear bigger and more intimidating and a fake gold necklace to appear richer.” he was glancing at her with wide eyes and Aurora smirked, getting a little bit closer to the man. “I gathered all that information with a few looks at you and your office. Don’t ever doubt our job again, this is what we’re the best at.”

After a few seconds of silence, the man gave a step forward, probably ready to get a little bit handier with her based in his balling fists, heavy breathing and jaw tensed in pure rage. Before he could make it too far, Hotch immediately put himself in front of her and putting a hand in the man’s chest, he made him back up. Meanwhile, Spencer grabbed her by the arm and put her behind him, with Derek and Emily at their side with their arms crossed.

“You don’t ever talk to one of my agents like that again, Mr. Bruins. I am clear?” the anger was clear in Hotch’s voices. There weren’t many times in which the man got this angry, even if it seemed weird with his strict personality. He actually had a lot of patience. Yet, with that patience disappear, you better run.

“Yes, sir.” the man huffed out, almost trembling and Aurora couldn’t resist the smile that formed in her face. How much she loved making men get crazy over a few words.

"When am I gonna stop being wise beyond my years and just start being wise? When am I gonna stop being a pretty young thing to guys? When am I gonna stop being great for my age and just start being good? When will it stop being cool to be quietly misunderstood?"

#criminal minds #bau family #found family #Protective team #criminal minds x oc #spencer reid x oc #criminal minds fic

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