#complicated childhood
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IntiMarch 2024 Day 27 - In my shoes
The prompt for this was "I want to apologise"
Satoru won’t shut up. Yaga is talking and Satoru won’t shut up and Suguru can feel his blood starting to boil. It’s not always this bad—Satoru is not always talking this much and Suguru is usually much better at ignoring it, but today has been a bad day from the start and Suguru can barely make out Yaga’s words.
The headache that’s been bothering Suguru all morning is getting worse by the second, exacerbated by his anger and the constant noise in his ears and Suguru balls his hands into fists.
He just has to get through his lesson and then he can go hide in his room and ask Shoko to go ask Yaga for a run-down of today’s lesson and maybe something of it will even stick.
If only just Satoru would shut up.
In that moment Satoru’s arm snaps up and Yaga seems ready to strangle him. Suguru would help him, he thinks, and hangs his head in shame after that thought passes his mind.
It’s not right to think like that, Suguru knows, but he’s just so angry.
“Satoru, what is it?”
“Yaga-sensei,” Satoru seriously says and just that lets Suguru know that whatever comes out of his mouth next is going to be absolute bullshit. “Why do we have to learn this stupid, boring shit?” Satoru asks, putting his chin in his hand and blinking innocently at Yaga. “How is this history lesson going to help us exorcise curses?”
His eyes slide over to Suguru as if he’s waiting for him to agree with him, to egg him on like Suguru sometimes does, but today it’s enough to make Suguru snap.
“Will you shut up for once?” he hisses out and Satoru seems just as taken aback by his outburst than Yaga does.
Good thing Shoko isn’t here right now, she would probably be laughing at all three of them.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Satoru asks after he gets over his initial surprise and leans forward to poke Suguru’s forehead. “Did you wake up on the wrong side of bed today?”
“Fuck off,” Suguru snaps and slaps Satoru’s hand away. “Either get lost or be quiet, some of us are trying to listen here.”
“Didn’t know you’re such a model student,” Satoru huffs out and Suguru can see that he’s trying to hide how hurt he is by Suguru’s harsh words, but not everything is about Satoru and right now Suguru couldn’t care less. “This is all boring shit anyway.”
He’s just so angry and his head is hurting so much.
“You’re such a selfish bastard, you have no idea what it’s like for—” Suguru cuts himself off because he never wants Satoru to know any of this, never wants to let him know just how out of his depth he is here and so instead of continuing this pointless fight with Satoru he simply gets up and storms out of the classroom.
“Geto!” Yaga calls after him, and Suguru knows that he’ll probably be in big trouble for this later, but right now he doesn’t care.
His head hurts, his hands are shaking and he just needs to not be there for now.
He makes it halfway to his room before Satoru catches up to him, because of course he does.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Satoru loudly asks yet again, snatching Suguru’s elbow in his hand and forcing him to stop his retreat. “You’re not usually this quick to anger. And you don’t usually lash out at me like that.”
“Yeah and you’re not usually this much of an asshole,” Suguru shoots right back but the fight is already leaving him, and fast at that, exhaustion winning out over everything else.
He stuffs his still shaking hands into his pockets, wrangling his arm out of Satoru’s grip in the process.
“What do you want?” Suguru asks, much more subdued and he wishes he could teleport, too, if only to make it to his bed faster. Or maybe he should go see Shoko first, get something for his headache after all and then sleep the rest of the day away.
“What did you mean, I have no idea what it’s like?” Satoru wants to know. “What it’s like for who?”
“You really have no goddamn idea, do you? You’re such a privileged stupid asshole,” Suguru mutters, and he sees that same hurt pass over Satoru’s face and this time, Suguru feels bad about it.
It makes him mad that he feels bad about it, but he also knows that it’s unfair to simply expect Satoru to understand if he can’t even explain. After all, it’s more than obvious that Satoru can’t simply read his mind and understand him just like that.
“What it’s like for me,” Suguru finally says and even though they are in the middle of campus he simply sits down on the ground.
He’s exhausted down to the bones all of a sudden and he fears that his legs are not going to carry him for a moment longer, especially not if he has to have this conversation with Satoru now.
“I’m not from one of the big Clans, Satoru, I know you keep forgetting that, but I’m just a nobody. You have no idea how shitty my childhood was.”
“What do you mean?” Satoru asks, clearly trying for calm himself as he squats down next to Suguru. “Explain it to me.” He gently bumps their shoulders together, cautious, as if he’s afraid that Suguru is going to explode into his face again and the fear is not completely unwarranted with how today has been going.
“I can see curses, Satoru,” Suguru reminds him. “For you that was fine, that was to be expected because your Clan knows, your Clan can too. But my family can’t. No one in my village can. Now I know to hide it, I know how to look past them, how to pretend that I’m normal. I didn’t when I was three or four or five.”
Satoru sucks in a breath and even though Suguru guesses that Satoru understands now, he keeps going. It’s hard to stop, once he started.
“It really doesn’t go over too well when a three year old tells his parents all about the crazy things he sees, of all the little curses, the one that are harmless or the ones that scare the hell out of him. It doesn’t go over well at all.” Suguru lets out a bitter chuckle. “Every kid fears the monster in the closet but usually that’s just a figment of their imagination. Not so for me. I knew that there was something in the closet and under my bed and down the street and on the back of my mother. And there is no way to explain it, no way to make them understand and so they did what the thought they had to do.”
“What’s that?” Satoru asks even though he sounds very much as if he doesn’t want to know.
Suguru can’t even blame him. It must be so nice to come from a family who understands, who can explain.
“I’ve been scared out of my mind since I can think, Satoru. I was scared and I was told I was seeing things and then my parents put me on medication. And they did it early. By the time I was eight I was addicted. I was starting to believe people when they said that what I’m seeing is not real. It wasn’t until Yaga found me that I finally learned what’s really going on. I was fifteen then, Satoru.”
“Shit,” Satoru mutters and Suguru laughs slightly, because yeah. Shit.
“I’m off my meds now, obviously, but—Shoko is still monitoring me for withdrawal symptoms. She has to, because it’s still really bad most days,” Suguru admits and hangs his head, clenching his hands.
“The shaking—” Satoru starts and Suguru nods.
“It’s one of them. The frequent headaches, the mood swings—it’s all because of that.”
“Excuse me, I’d like to think that I’m able to irritate you all on my own, thank you very much,” Satoru huffs out and it’s so ridiculous, it’s so Satoru that Suguru laughs for real.
“You’d be right about that,” he agrees, because he thinks that even without that Satoru would drive him crazy on most days.
“You never—learned any of this stuff,” Satoru mutters when Suguru calmed down again and Suguru nods.
“I have no idea about most of the things Yaga talks about. I don’t know what’s going on most of the time, but especially when it comes to the history of curses and sorcerers. It’s all new to me.”
“And I’ve been acting like the spoiled brat I am because it’s all old news to me and I completely failed to think about how it must be for you,” Satoru whispers and smacks his forehead. “I simply assumed you grew up knowing as well because it’s unfathomable to me how you could not.”
“I get why you’d think that,” Suguru shrugs. “You’ve been kind of sheltered and that’s not your fault, but—yes. I didn’t even know you were a big deal in this world until Yaga took me aside on that very first day and explained it to me. I didn’t know there were established families or anything else. Hell, learning that there’s an entire school for people like me had me so floored and spent two days in bed, questioning my entire life.”
Those hadn’t been good days. There were a lot of what-if’s floating around Suguru’s mind those days and he came dangerously close to hating his parents, even though they did the only thing they thought was right, and everyone in this school, for not finding him sooner, for not having a more reliable system in place to find young sorcerers.
It had been a very bumpy start to his time here.
“Suguru, I’m—” Satoru starts and Suguru knows what he’s going to say, but he’s not ready to hear it.
“Shut it,” he mutters. “I’m just—I’m tired, Satoru. I’m going to go to bed.”
Satoru shuffles next to him and even though Suguru expects him to argue, Satoru only nods in the end.
“Alright. Do you need anything?”
“You can bring me dinner,” Suguru says and even though it’s meant to let Satoru know that he isn’t mad, he still can’t take Satoru’s huge, grateful smile as if he’s doing him a favour.
He has done nothing but be mean to Satoru today.
“I will,” Satoru promises and gets back up, holding his hand out for Suguru.
Suguru doesn’t hesitate to take it, shaking be damned, and he’s back on his feet a second later, Satoru pulling him up with ease.
“Go rest. I’ll bring your favourite later,” Satoru promises him and Suguru can’t help himself, he briefly leans in, rests his forehead on Satoru’s shoulder.
“Thanks,” he gets out, kind of choked up because Satoru is treating him carefully right now, but he doesn’t seem to be judging him and that’s really all Suguru can ask for.
“I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier,” Suguru says, his voice muffled by Satoru’s uniform but he must hear him because he’s slapping the back of his head a moment later.
“Shut the hell up, I don’t want to hear it,” Satoru says, briefly scratching at Suguru’s scalp to ease the sting. “There’s nothing you have to apologise for.”
Suguru wants to argue, because he’s been a real ass, but he’s also tired so he only nods and forces himself to move away from Satoru.
“Later,” he says and stumbles a little bit when Satoru gives him a shove.
“Go sleep, idiot,” Satoru fondly says and Suguru is off to do exactly that.
~*~*~
He wakes up when Satoru barges into his room without so much as a cursory knock, carrying a tray of food and something else under his arms.
“What the hell,” Suguru grumbles, though he feels better and the headache is mostly gone, so he sits up, expectantly holding his hands out for the tray.
Satoru did promise him dinner after all.
“Like I promised,” Satoru says with a grin and plops it down in Suguru’s lap. “Your favourite.”
And it is; the smell instantly makes Suguru’s stomach grumble.
“I checked in with Shoko, too, she says sleeping and eating and drinking enough should suffice to get you back on your feet for today, if the symptoms don’t get worse. Did they get worse?” he asks and sits down in front of the bed, staring up at Suguru.
“No, they didn’t,” Suguru truthfully says and feels himself go a little bit hot when Satoru smiles brightly at him.
“Good. And then—” he says and gets the book he was also carrying with him “—there’s also this.”
He presents the book to Suguru as if it should tell him something but he can’t spot a title and on closer inspection it looks more like a notebook than an actual printed one.
“I wanted to apologise, so I made this,” Satoru says and hands the book over. “I wrote down everything I remember about the major Clans. Yaga still knows more than I do, probably, but this will serve as a great overview and for more in-depths questions you can always ask him, I already checked with him.”
“You—what?” Suguru chokes out and briefly flips through the pages.
Sure enough every page is filled with Satoru’s handwriting, detailing everything about the Clans he knows and which Suguru doesn’t and he’s embarrassed to admit that his eyes sting. It must have been a lot of work to write this all down today.
“You didn’t have to,” he whispers out and jolts when Satoru puts his arms on his lap and leans his head there, too, staring up at Suguru.
“I kind of had to. I was so thoughtless and I’m really sorry. I promise to behave in class from now on. And—you can always ask me, too, I know I don’t act like it but I do know my stuff. It’s why Yaga’s lessons are so boring to me but I will behave, for you.”
“Satoru,” Suguru gets out and puts the book aside to card his fingers through Satoru’s hair. “I’m sorry I kept this from you for so long, I shouldn’t have.”
“I shouldn’t have behaved like an ass, so I’d say we’re quits, how about that?” Satoru asks, his eyes curving up with his smile.
“Fair,” Suguru gets out and leans down until he can rest their foreheads together. “Thank you.”
“No, thank you,” Satoru whispers. “For telling me. I know it can’t have been easy.”
He’s right about that; it had been easy telling Shoko and even Yaga, because for all that he likes them it doesn’t quite matter to him what they think. But Satoru matters and Suguru had been scared shitless that he’d think less of Suguru if he ever knew any of this.
Suguru really should have known that Satoru wouldn’t care.
“Satoru, I—”
“I know,” Satoru interrupts him and leans up, nudging their noses together. “Me, too,” he adds in a quiet voice and Suguru huffs out an amused laugh.
He should have known that even this would be easy, with Satoru.
“Now, I’ll kiss you for real if you eat,” Satoru then says and Suguru lets out a long-suffering sigh.
“You’re insufferable,” he says, though he does reach for his food.
By now he’s starving, so it’s not even as if he needs Satoru’s incentive, though he’s not going to say no to it, that’s for sure.
“And you love me like that,” Satoru says with a bright grin and Suguru can’t believe that he’s right, but by god, is he right.
“I do. Thank you.”
“Suguru!” Satoru exclaims, going bright red in the face. “Stop thanking me! I’m still grovelling, so just stop. Eat, goddamit,” he grumbles and Suguru hides his smile with his food.
Satoru doesn’t move from his place at Suguru’s feet until he’s devoured everything Satoru brought him and even then he only climbs on the bed to put the book in Suguru’s lap and starts going through the first chapter.
Suguru gladly follows along, but he also steals a kiss for every page they get through and soon enough the book is forgotten.
And it turns out Suguru doesn’t have to steal any kisses at all, because Satoru is more than happy to give him as many as he wants.
#bt writes#jjk#satosugu#geto suguru#gojo satoru#hurt/comfort#getting together#fluff#complicated childhood
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People tend to say that a person who feels guilty a lot is the one who had strict parents and rules in the house.
For me, it was a little bit different. My parents were kind of strict, but rules were... too vague for me. My biggest problem was that my parents were just as forgetful as I am and kept forgetting a lot of things they had told me.
When there was some weird rule that I remembered or misunderstood, but my parents totally forgot about it, I was called a weirdo for caring.
I also remember that many times my mom would get super quiet and leave the room when she was angry. The thing is, I never knew when she stopped being angry.
I've grown a lot since then but this is something that has not changed in me. I feel guilty for dumbest, simplest things. And since my bf prefers to go quiet for a bit instead of yelling at me, I'm always panicking that he hates me and is angry for longer time.
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Sometimes I think about all the Spanish I missed out like I used to know so much as a child, but now most of its gone
#complicated childhood#little qinn lore but#i used to live with my step dad's family which mostly#spoke spanish#but i lost it when i moved in with my bio dad#rest in piss
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Thinking about how Diavolo’s feelings transcend time and how in the Nightbringer UR+ card Demon Lord’s Castle Tour this conversation happens.
When asked, “Do you wish to see your father?”
Diavolo responds:
“I suppose I do . . .” isn’t the typical reaction to how a child would feel about wanting to see their parent. Especially when said parent has essentially been in a coma for a year.
Along with how Diavolo describe his father.
It makes more sense why when you learn in Lesson 56 how Diavolo was treated by him growing up.
Diavolo can tell when others are lying but is unable to understand his father’s intentions.
Diavolo mentions that he lived a very sheltered life growing up. That from a young age his father never allowed him a chance to talk to anyone outside the castle.
His childhood friend was Mephistopheles. A demon literally RAISED to be his friend. Putting a barrier between the two because Mephistopheles would put Diavolo on a pedestal.
The isolating childhood he experienced riddled with his strict father constantly scolding him.
Despite everything MC is so important to him he wants to see his father again so we can meet.
#Demons and Humans can’t get married even in the present so it adds an extra layer him wanting to introduce us.#There’s a lot more you could add onto this (please do I’d love to hear other’s thoughts).#Like how Diavolo’s childhood affected him just look at the way he describes himself:#“The truth is I am a child in a way. A child who spends his time alone and never gets to do anything interesting.”#A lot of Diavolo’s poor behavior while not excused comes from his childhood.#How Diavolo admits to using his position to force others to do what he wants. Along with how he doesn’t like sharing.#Diavolo’s insecurities in his friendships with others.#Mainly Lucifer and Barbatos which makes sense with how they happened.#IE Forcing Barbatos to become his butler and the oath/deal with Lucifer regarding Lilith.#It’s clear Diavolo is very lonely and carrying a heavy burden.#I like that MCs presence is helping him change into a better person.#Also I don’t think Diavolo hates his father their relationship just isn’t good and very complicated.#Diavolo is such a wonderful character if you have any in-depth posts about him please tag me I’d love to read them!!!#I AM FILLED WITH SAPPY THOUGHTS ABOUT DIAVOLO TONIGHT!!!!#Obey Me#Obey Me Spoiler#Obey Me Nightbringer#OMSWD#Obey Me Diavolo#Diavolo#MaddyMajolish#Is it obvious I can’t sleep because I’m riddled with Blorbo thoughts
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Rest in peace, Robbie Coltrane
30 March 1950 – 14 October 2022
#robbie coltrane#hagrid#rubeus hagrid#rest in peace#my relationship with harry potter is... complicated to say the least#given all of rowling's bullshit#but this man played a central character of my childhood#and he did it so well
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#shadow and bone#six of crows#grishaverse#jesper fahey#wesper#poorly made memes strike back#jan van eck#I can see Wylan trying to forget Jan existed or having complicated feelings with a lot of rage and tiredness#but jesper?#Jesper totally hated him#like ‘this man wrecked all the childhood of my wylan’#he would totally be like rest in hell jan I have special wine for this occasion#he would be like who r u talking about? Jan Van Eck? don’t know him… oh u r talking about that dickhead…..#Kaz and Marya in the background pretending they have no connection to the accidental cruel death of Jan in hellgate: sorrows sorrows prayers#I am living for headcanons of Marya being as tenacious and smart as Wylan#and having her own revenge on Jan in the future#and with Wylan cared for her so much and Jesper who she didn’t want to lie to her son#she went straight to Kaz#gunpowder#post crooked kingdom
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I’ve seen some comments about Bagi going back to purgatory to save Tubbo and Pac instead of Cellbit, and I really need non bagi viewers to understand this. Bagi does still care about Cellbit, but she has also been trying to move on from him, because she knows he’s toxic for her. She’s been trying to put her focus on the people that care about her not the one way streets, like Tina, Bad, Pac, Tubbo, and Fit. She hasn’t stopped wanting to be family with him, but her life doesn’t revolve around him, Bagi is Bagi, not just Cellbit’s sister. She has spent 15 years looking for him, and she can make the decision to focus on her real relationships now. Let her move on, she’s tired of waiting for family she’ll never get back.
#qsmp#Qsmp bagi#qsmp cellbit#I will fully fight for qbagi’s right to be her own person with her own complicated wants and needs#She is not a cellbit clone and will never be. She is her own person#The comments were a lot of people being like oh how are these people more imporant than the brother you spent 15 years looking for#Maybe she realized her idea of him has become a fantasy and chasing down that childhood isn’t the right way for her to live
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cousin bonding time (I like to imagine that Maedhros is the one who tied baby Finrod's hair!)
sorry for being suddenly inactive here lately, Things Happened and I haven't really had the time to sit down and draw until this week ;-; hope this little sketch can make up for it!
#maedhros#fingon#finrod#why is fingon wearing a blanket on a (presumably) hot day i don't know i have no idea i just felt the urge to draw him with a blanket#addition headcanon is that little finrod isn't the best at braiding hair but he's trying as hard as he can!#maybe fingon's gold ribbons are just giving him a hard time#i know they probably didn't go to the beach for yearly family reunions but shh let me have my headcanons#I love imagining all the mundane experiences these cousins had during their childhood#even with the complicated family dynamics#and how it would feel. years later. when they have to be warriors and generals and strategists and kings.#remembering a simpler time when they could enjoy each others company without thinking about like. politics and the ramifications#of their actions and alliances#anyway#i just finished reading the silmarillion can you tell#clarisse doodles#tolkien#the silmarillion#sketch#elves
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i'm so spoilt as a mahiru fan because she gives us entire magazine spreads with additional information but then i turn to kotoko and she's like "huh? backstories are for weak people. i was born with helix earrings and an undercut" please just tell me your childhood trauma
#LOOK AT THE WAY YOU STAND PEOPLE WITH GOOD CHILDHOODS DONT STAND LIKE THAT /REF#it's very very noticeable to me that every prisoner has given us a concrete reason as to why they're like that#but kotoko sidesteps it which - rather than having no good reason at all - i think it makes more sense that she's suppressing it#to engage with her reasons would be confessing that once upon a time she might've been weak herself#i just hnnngh she's so complicated that's my husband right there mhm#♡. cinnamon prattles#milgram
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will never stop claiming and insisting that eren and armin, guess what, were in love
#snk#shingeki no kyojin#eremin#eren jeagar#armin arlert#and water is wet#and if u think im delulu?#im not#like. obviously they were?? of course they were in love??#childhood best friends in love with each other#enemies who were still in love with each other the feelings were complicated#(i mean. they were never ACTUAL enemies but. you know what i mean)#honestly? i feel like their relationship transcends friendship and romance#it’s something more. something beyond those two simple things#ah. right. soulmates#love their dynamic and relationship sooo much#they make me INSANE#i think about eremin and i instantly go GDGDHDISJAVDNSK#too much
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Age difference marriage for your choice of hornstappen or nico/mika please!!!!!
When Mika proposes, it's with the latest 2010 Mercedes sportscar model. Nico jumps into his arms, and then immediately reaches for the key. It's better than any ring, he tells himself.
"Did you know I used to have posters of him on my wall when I was a boy?" Nico wiggles his brows to the strangers at the Ibiza party lounge. Nico knows why Mika wants to get married in the party capital with no one else in their distinguished motorsports circle around. He's embarrassed. 42 year old, second marriage, pretty young thing on his arm. It all screams midlife crisis.
Well, Nico doesn't need to make it easy for him.
"Mouse." Mika's voice is warning, hand on his shoulder. Nico immediately turns to Mika, smiling, and crawling on his lap.
"What, it's true," Nico toys with Mika's collar. Mika's blonde hair falls over his eyes, hiding the carefully botox'd crows feet when he frowns. "You remember."
Mika's hand rests on Nico's hip. "Don't be trouble." Nico grinds down on him.
The strangers now look away from their public display, embarrassed, and Nico takes it as a win.
A GP2 crash shattered Nico's motorsports dreams, and he kept his word to his father, did 3 years at Imperial, graduated with flying colours with an engineering internship at Williams waiting with his name on it. Nico opted to instead chase after rallying and endurance races, cheering for Mika and waiting for him. It wasn't even hard, after Nico decided his favourite Finn was his white whale. Slipping into the hotel sauna where they were alone, and not wearing much. Mika objected weakly, the flimsy excuse for his conscience, and gave in anyway.
Nico grew up like a little prince so it's hard to spoil him. Mika does, anyway. A short fling of a childhood infatuation turns into something akin to whirlwind romance, it's dangerous and fun and a little bit taboo, and Mika leaves his wife for him.
Nico knows his father would disapprove. Mika knows it too, even as Nico shows up beside him more often than not. But it's nice, Mika's a large, protective figure behind him and always has a sweet name for him: mouse, pigeon, pet, darling, something in Finnish Nico can't quite decipher.
When they're in bed together, Nico can think of how neither of them are going to F1. Yes, Mika's technically on 'sabbatical' but everyone knows. The slight swell of his gut gives it away, but it's okay Nico will be fit enough for both of them, breaking up his croissant so it's harder to notice he hasn't touched it and feeding Mika. He likes that Mika has that touch of vanity of him, that keeps dyeing his hair blonder and is susceptible to the Monaco lifestyle of keeping everything looking young, tight, tucked in procedurally. It makes Mika not the dashing hero from his childhood dreams, humanizes him. And when Mika calls Nico beautiful, it is both a fact and tinged with envy.
"Pigeon, we have to go to the F1 paddock this weekend." Mika tucks Nico's long lock of hair behind his ear.
"Why?" It's technically their honeymoon.
"Mercedes are trying to get Lewis. Hamilton-Schumacher lineup. Ron called me to convince him to stay."
Lewis... Lewis Hamilton, 2008 world champion. The wonder rookie. Nico knew him once upon a time, when they both promised they'd make it to Formula 1 together, childish promises of becoming World Champion. Only Lewis kept up his end of the bargain. The thought of seeing him again makes Nico feel funny, like he wants to hide away. Nico hasn't even gone to Monaco in years.
At the British Grand Prix, Mika Hakkinen enters the McLaren garage with relative fanfare of a Formula 1 World Champion. Nico stays out of the cameras, doesn't have to field any interviews -- people generally don't know him without his dad around. The smell of the rubber and engine fuels and screams of thousands of fans, it's all reminiscent of his childhood. Nico idly thumbs the car keychain in his pocket, waiting for Mika.
"Nico? No way, is that you, man?"
#mika/nico#so you fucked your childhood hero that your dad wouldn't approve of and now you're in a serious adult relationship in your early 20's#I looooooove complicated relationships#f1 rpf#my fics#mika's sugarbaby nico is my strongest headcanon
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Oh wait this is fucked up actually. Marcy grew up around Simon while he was actually already under the effects of the crown (both physically and mentally). He was already unraveling by the time they found each other, even if he still felt like he was 'himself', so Simon as we know him, regular-ass Simon, would be in ways a kind of stranger to her. Physically, in his appearance and presence decoupled from the effects of the crown; situationally, what with them not being in a barren wasteland and whatnot; emotionally and personally, with Simon maybe doing things or showing himself to be things that Marcy didn't know to expect. And add to that how much they've both changed over the course of their lives since they separated...
While Simon managed to see her life through Ice King's eyes for a while, I like to imagine the memory is fuzzy at best and entirely unreliable at worst, so — in a way, truly, their reunion is them getting to know each other all over again, in a new dynamic, but with the base of that same old, foundational relationship; that same old, old love.
And I'm so normal about it.
#(the reconnection of a grown up kid and her dad who she only knew as an active user after he gets out of rehab) who said that#<- projecting hard#adventure time#nick.txt#marceline abadeer#simon petrikov#fionna and cake#Do you think Simon has a strained relationship with self-expression and silliness after being IK. Do you think it makes Marcy think about#the Simon who raised her - always cracking jokes to help them both cope?#You ever think Marcy gets a bit weirded out by how... normal... post-canon Simon is.#Do you ever think Simon gets bouts of 'madness'* and she's like 'oh hey I know this guy'.#Do you ever think she tells childhood anecdotes from that time he wasn't there and he gets this heavy look of regret he cant quite hide--#(at this point i have been shot with a tranquilizer dart)#*I think the relationship AT has with the complicated-ass concept of altered consciousness/'madness'/mental illness is really interesting#and has a lot of potential for expansion in fic#What with themes alienation from yourself and from others. What with the portrayal of what your being 'mad' 'does' to you/those around you.#What with themes of guilt and forgiveness and acceptance and responsibility and healing.#Like. If youre like me and you hc Simon as having a litany of mental struggles. At what point does that differ from#the magic-induced altered state?#and what does that look like and feel like? How does that affect himself and his connection to others?#I think its a very easily dismissed concept bc of how it brushes some pretty stank ableist tropes#but I also think it could be incredibly#resonant if treated skillfully and compassionately and realistically#to put it crassly#local man finally free of crazy-crown-curse discovers he has severe mental illness. like. the normal person kind.#has to deal with that.#tldr simon my friend simon my favorite he/she grandma who experiences psychosis <3#and marcy my friend marcy my favorite she/they mitski stan who just wants love to surround her#the tags in this post are like three other posts. im right tho
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Well fuck if that's not a loaded statement
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Happy Deltarune Chapter 2 Anniversary! The start of this duo causing me psychic damage lol
#its complicated#deltarune#kris dreemurr#noelle holiday#deltarune fanart#deltarune anniversary#utdr#josh art tag#seriously these 2 mess with my head /pos#like i love how theyre childhood friends but kinda not as well??#and it was sweet that noelle was surprised in ch2 when Kris calls her their friend#but uhhhhh then theres snowgrave lol
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Trans!Hiccup later in life becoming more confident in himself and coming to terms with the fact knowing how to and doing things traditionally viewed as 'feminine' doesn't make him any less of a man my beloved.
He canonically knows how to sew. Like his attempted cover was he was 'making outfits' so why not? He definitely made his own armor, he probably makes his own clothes when he has the time. He said he wanted to he a 'bread making viking' (and yes i knoe it was a hasty lie but hear me out) so I'd like to think he knows at least how to bake and probably how to cook as well. And he enjoys these things and indulged in them when he's able to.
#i love when trans people are able to accept that their hobbies being viewed as something related to their agab doesnt make them#any less valid i understand its not for everyone but if youre able to reconcile with that kind of thing you will genuinely be better for it#this goes for snotlout as well (he is also trans!)l#in rtte he knows how to sew#also i hc that astrid is trans and has a very complicated relationship with gender due to how committed she is to being a warrior#shes a girl but never really learned to do any kind of 'traditionally feminine' things other than hair braiding#and though she'd never want to be a housewife she feels as though she missed out on some kind of core childhood experience#shes a lost cause at cooking but hiccup offered to teach her to sew and its something they work on together in their free time :)#httyd#trans hiccup#rtte#trans hiccup haddock#httyd headcanon#hiccup haddock#trans headcanon#hiccup horrendous haddock iii#transgender#moth.txt
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I can accept basically any trans/nb reading of Jon however my personal favorites are transmasc Jon who transitioned physically and socially as early as possible and just never mentioned it to anyone cause it wasn't any of their business OR Jon being the most repressed transfem/nb in existence. They'll be talking about gender or whatever and Jon will be like "it's normal to feel totally disconnected from your gender all the time and also vaguely want boobs. That's just a guy thing I think." only for whoever they're all talking to to go "wtf no?? It's not????"
#please don't make this about j//mart or martin#only jon reading I can't accept is cis#sorry I just don't see it#idk might just be projection#but I think jon has really complicated feelings about gender that they don't know how to articulate#and they're also super private so they just. never mention it.#actually love literally any depiction of jon where they had a super wild personal life (band/mechs!jon punk!jon w/e) that they don't think#is important to mention ever. but occasionally they'll drop some random detail completely casually and then not understand why everyone els#is confused#like. I think jon's childhood probably wasn't super wild beyond the mr spider stuff#and once they started working at the institute I think they tried to lean really really hard into the boring respectable academic aesthetic#but I think uni jon was either the most dull shut-in workaholic OR doing really weird shit between classes with no inbetween#look I have a lot of jonthoughts ok?#anyway I think it's plausible that uni!jon was briefly non-repressed#actually adding to that: jon likes to break in to places to Investigate Them is practically canon to me.#ok anyway sorting tags. yeah I'm maintagging my jon mental illness#jon sims#jonathan sims#tma#the magnus archives#trans jon sims#trans jonathan sims#edit to add my new jon gender tag#jonder
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