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daegall · 2 years

Text

Tell me everything.

↳ Best friends are supposed to tell each other everything, but Donghyuck isn't all that sure if he can tell you about his feelings. (He obviously also doesn't know that you have a big fat crush on him too)

pairing: best friend!hyuck x reader

genre: fluff, crack, slight angst, best friends to lovers!AU

warnings: um parties, mentions of alcohol, reader and hyuck are so fucking oblivious, bro idk i dont rmember writing this fic im so sorry

word count: 8.8k words

a/n: oh my fucking god the rollercoaster this fic has been to me. i swear to god i have never ever been so blocked EVER im sos ososososoooo sorry this is SO overdue man i feel so guilty and at the same time i feel so disappointed in this fic but its ok ^^ i'll just grow out of it in the future and look back and laugh (with tears </3)

anw BIG HUGE thank you to the godess of editing herself, @jenotapes ! thank you so so sooo much aisha for the beautiful header, i cannot express how much i love it and how thankful i am, it's so gorgeous it's liek theonly good thing about this whole thing HAHA

The first real friend you've ever had, you have to say, is your mother, but really that's another situation.

Other than her, you'd have to say it would be Hung Renjun, someone you've known since middle school. You were inseparable during middle school, and sure you had a few crushes on him, but it's a lot different now.

You grew apart, but it doesn't seem like any of you minded it that much.

Your best friend after that, would be Lee Donghyuck. Someone you met through Renjun.

It was during Renjun's cousin's wedding where you met him. (You were only invited because this certain cousin used to be like a sister to you when you were younger. You like to remember all the tea parties you had together.)

But man, would you like to thank, and scold, both Renjun and his cousin for inviting you. Because of them, you found Donghyuck.

It was quite a unique way to find your best friend.

"You've got some moves!"

You turn around at the unexpected, and unfamiliar voice, alarmed at a (very cute) stranger with a light smile on his lips. Your lips go from a gape of surprise, to a bright smile that slips a laugh, "Thank you!"

"Do you have a phone number too?"

Yes, he had tried asking you out. Not only did you end up giving up your number, but you did go hang out a while after that.

You most certainly did (and still do) have the biggest crush on him, finding him so very charming and cute and, well, your type.

But for some apparent reason, he never asked if you wanted to actually date. You're not sure if he forgot, or he thinks you weren't interested or something, but he just didn't. You suspect he didn't have any more interest anymore. Not that you minded, (now. You minded a lot back then.) but it's getting a lot harder to keep in with every day that you get closer to Donghyuck.

It's gotten to the point where you don't even want to think of him, fearing that it would show and your whole friendship would be ruined.

Instead, you bake, as you always did when you had something particular on your mind.

Chocolate chip cookies, you had decided about 20 minutes ago, the soft and chewy ones that Donghyuck like—

"Holy shit," you whisper to yourself, voice hushed with realization. "did I just make Lee Donghyuck's favorite fucking snack without realizing?!"

Yeah, your crush on him has gotten a lot worse. You suspect this happened when he took you out for breakfast, lunch, and dinner when he noticed your dull state last week. He even paid for all the food!

You decide to let all your thoughts go as you close the oven with your fist batch of cookies, the rustiness of the screws more than enough to distract you. Gosh, nobody in your dorm building takes care of the poor thing. You remember when Yoo Jimin and Kim Minjeong attempted to roast a whole turkey but it came out way undercooked because the oven broke down within 30 minutes.

Just as you thought your mind was Lee Donghyuck-free, the door to the kitchen opens, and in comes all your thoughts once again, as your best friend enters.

"Hey there," he greets.

"Hi,"

"What are you doing?"

You shrug, turning around as you continue mixing the cookie dough. "I don't know, what does it seem like I'm doing?"

A chuckle slips from Donghyuck's lips as he approaches you, choosing to take a seat on the counter, next to the cooling rack. "Cookies?"

You only him in approval, placing the bowl back down on the counter.

To Donghyuck, your baking is one of the best he knows. First, would be his mother, of course, but you’re close to beating her, especially with the cake you baked for Renjun’s birthday a few months ago. He particularly likes your baking when you two are awake at midnight, and instead of using the oven, you choose to use the microwave, to make simple 2 minute microwave cookies or brownies. They’re the best for midnight snacks to have while writing an essay, or having an existential crisis together.

A moment later, Donghyuck finds you rummaging through the many drawers to find something. Once you finally find it, you go straight back to the dough, before you stick the object in, and scoop it back out.

In front of Donghyuck, is a teaspoon, scooped with your cookie dough. He mumbles a few words of gratitude, before taking the spoon from you and shoving it in his mouth.

While Jaemin and Jeno are your favorite taste testers, (due to their immaculate opinions of how much salt and/or sugar you put into your recipes) Donghyuck always somehow finds his way to become number one. Maybe it’s because you like to hear the compliments from him. (or your big fat crush on him. Both, most likely.)

"Oh, yum! This is really good," Donghyuck smacks his lips, savouring each second of the taste melting on his tongue, and gets a small sense of... nostalgia.

"Hey, did you put some—"

"—cinnamon? Yes I did, I remember you telling me how your mom would do it, so I decided to try it myself too. Good to know you like it,"

It was a simple mention during a debate of if cupcakes or cookies were better, but the very random fact stuck to the back of your mind whenever you thought of baking. You’ve been meaning to make some, but never had the time to until now. (Though, you do have a few assignments begging to be finished as you bake.)

While Donghyuck is so very thankful, and delighted, he's a tiny bit worried. He knows you only bake when you have a mind full of things you don't want it to be filled with. This happened when you flunked that one assignment and you baked a whole birthday cake to get your mind off it.

"Are you okay?"

You're surprised at Donghyuck's words, instantly halting your actions to turn to him with shock written in every part of your face. "Huh?"

"I mean," Donghyuck passes you the spoon back, wiping your hand when he sees its got some flour stuck to it, "you're baking. Cookies. A lot of them. You only bake when you're thinking a lot, what's up? I'm your best friend, tell me everything!"

And that is exactly what you've been thinking about. How attentive he is, how caring and kind he is. Gosh he almost makes you go crazy just by doing things like this to you, you might just tell him what's wrong to have him stop completely.

"Nothing," you breathe out, going back to check on the cookies in the oven, "just bored, I guess."

Donghyuck doesn't buy a single bit of it, and you know he doesn't. So instead, you decide to lie a little, hoping he wouldn't catch it.

"I was so busy yesterday, I guess I just wanted to relax. Decided to make some cookies for you."

At this, Donghyuck can't help but chuckle. Cookies? For him? "Just for me?"

Oh shit, did you say that? Silently, you panic, unconsciously shifting away from Donghyuck to hide your growing nose scrunch of embarrassment. "Uhh, f-for us...?" You hope he lets it go, you hope with your entire soul that he lets it go and accepts your stupid and poorly made excused for once.

Alas, he is Lee Donghyuck, your best friend who will never let you live down a single thing if you make a mistake. (You always question why you even like him.) There was a time you accidentally switched the names of two of your upperclassmen. The most embarrassing 2 weeks of your life when he would remind you every other day.

Donghyuck's head throws back with laughter, gripping the edge of the counter for balance. He's always looked so cute while laughing, and you don't miss the way your heart stutters. And neither does Donghyuck. His own heart feels like it's soaring, jumping all around his body, swirling and spinning all because of you. "Oh my god, you're so cute!"

Oh my god, he's driving you crazy.

To shut him up, you grab a cookie from the cooling rack, before shoving it in his mouth, flicking at his forehead. "Shut up or these cookies are going to Chenle."

Donghyuck nods, though laughing and chewing, winking and blowing a kiss at you. Once again, he feels his heart somersault when you reach over to wipe the few crumbs at the corner of his lips.

ii.

Lee Donghyuck never liked business management. Sure, it’s where he realized that the person he hit on at Renjun’s cousin’s party sat 2 rows in front of him, and yeah, Professor Lee is his favorite teacher, and sure, he sometimes likes the lessons–okay, maybe he just hates it today.

Or maybe today is complete shit to him. Yes, he hates today. None of your nagging during breakfast, or even lunch, due to your sudden cold you got overnight. He’s had to go through classes without you, only get one cup of coffee, and he didn’t even get one text from you. What’s up with that?

He feels completely relieved to be going back to his beloved room, expecting to do nothing but sleep for the rest of the day, and maybe watch some of his favorite reality shows. He just… he really needs to rest.

You know what he would kill for right now? Your cookies. The ones you made the other day for him, the ones you added cinnamon to and made him feel all warm inside. In his opinion, those are the best cookies he’s ever eaten. But he won’t tell his mom.

Yeah, one of those would not be bad for this shitty, shitty day. Or maybe you yourself, there to accompany him and cheer him up, but you’ve got a sickness, and need to rest. Him feeling down in the dumps is a lot less important than your health.

But apparently, that’s not exactly your own priorities.

Donghyuck doesn’t expect to see you here, when he swings open his dorm door, but there you are, with a mask on and a duster in hand. You seem to be cleaning out the bookshelf by the window, the one Donghyuck installed with you just for the aesthetics.

Why are you dusting it? Heck, why are you even here?!

“Y/n? What the fuck are you doing here? You need to rest right this second!”

You were just about to say something, to explain why you’re in his room in the first place, but your best friend beats you to it, rushing up to you, before he grabs gently at your arms. You drop the duster in your hand at this, gaping at the way Donghyuck tugs you to his bed.

It’s like every time you’re about to say something, anything, Donghyuck interrupts you with an action, pressing his hand to your forehead. “God, you’re still burning up. Have you taken your meds yet?”

FInally, you’re able to speak, as Donghyuck shuts up to hear you. Instead of words, a light laugh slips through your lips, as you shake your head in disbelief. “No, yeah, I took them right before coming here.” Donghyuck doesn’t say anything, but you can already practically feel the curiosity radiating off him, the frustration he’s about to spew out into words.

“I came here to clean your room,” You say, brushing Donghyuck’s hands off your arms, only to take them in yours softly. Instantly, his thumbs run over your knuckles carefully. You can’t deny the way your heart swirls with love. “since my dusty ass room is what gave me my morning cold.” Suddenly, you grow a bit conscious of how ridiculous you might seem to him, getting up to clean up your best friend’s room.

“Didn’t want you to get one, or something.” You can’t look Donghyuck in the eye, afraid that it would be the last thing to set you off into a hot, shy mess.

But unbeknownst to you, Donghyuck looks at you so gently, so lovingly and softly. He’s so very thankful for you, in so many ways. Just being in your presence has him instantly calming down, and forgetting about every single bad thing he’s had come across him today. Just the thought of you caring so much for him has him forgiving every single thing that’s ever hurt him in his life.

As if looking Donghyuck in the eye wasn’t enough to make you go crazy, Donghyuck’s hands suddenly slide up your arms, his fingertips brushing against your skin, before he wraps his arms around your shoulders, securing you tightly to him.

You feel, and practically memorize every time Donghyuck’s skin comes in contact with yours, touching, brushing, leaving trails of goosebumps. The best kind.

You feel so many things when Donghyuck hugs you. You feel shocked, and surprised, and at the same time so flustered. But those aren’t the strangers feelings in you. Others being worry, and dread.

This hug isn’t the typical ones that Donghyuck usually gives you. It’s tighter, tenser, he’s not giggling, and neither are you. Another thing that makes you feel awfully concerned about this hug, is the fact that Donghyuck has stuffed his head in your neck, and is breathing awfully heavily. It takes you one moment, then two, before you feel the tears and hear the sobs.

Instantly, your arms wrap around him instantly, tucking him closer to you, before you feel tears spring to your eyes as well. You don’t say anything, despite having so many questions, and Donghyuck is so very thankful for that. Sometimes asking for a reason and wanting to understand someone fully isn’t the best, in his opinion, but you don’t even have to ask to understand him. You’ve never had to. Just with an expression on his face, you can tell instantly what he’s feeling.

“One day without me and you’re already struggling, what would you do without me?”

Oh, how Donghyuck feels so safe around you. He pulls away from your shoulder, slightly grimacing at the sight of a damp spt, before a laugh chokes through his sniffling. “Nothing, so you better stick to me for the rest of our lives, alright?”

You do nothing but nod, and chuckle, before you start to wipe away Donghyuck’s tears with the sleeves of your sweater. Not the best choice for wiping someone’s eyes, but that doesn’t really matter right now. Donghyuck needs you, and you’ll be there for him.

“You wanna talk about it?” You mumble softly, brushing his hair from his face. Your best friend finds his heart swelling and thumping erratically with so much love at the look on your face. He’s always liked it when you take care of him. You don’t judge him, not at all. His needs are what you focus on, and it feels good to finally be loved for once.

“Can I?” He whispers in reply, falling into the warmth of your hands. His own grip at your wrists, holding them up to his face.

You smile, and it tells him everything. You’re not going anywhere until he feels better, no matter how long, or how hard the task will be. “Tell me everything.”

And that’s exactly what Donghyuck does. He tells you of how his morning was thoroughly mundane and how he seemed to have struggled to stay awake during class, and how Professor Lee even told him off for dozing off. He tells you each detail, every word and action, and you practically feel like you’re in the scene with how he describes it.

One thing he leaves out, however, is every feeling he’s felt. How could he? He’s sure to blurt out how incredibly safe he feels with you, how worried he was because of your cold, how all he could think about today was just you. Not to mention, how he really believes he cares for you, way more than a best friend should.

Just your presence, the sight of you, it makes him feel somehow inside. Like having a warm picnic late in the afternoon, the warm rays of the sunshine feeling oh so relaxing.

Like watching one of your favorite chick flicks or romantic movies with you after his breakdown, but not even paying attention to the movie because of the way you look so immersed and mesmerized with it has him himself in a daze. That one spark in your eye you always have when you’re so interested, the smile on your lips when you sigh with delight, the way your hands curl around Donghyuck’s wrist to bring you closer.

Donghyuck loves these moments. Donghyuck loves you.

iii.

Alright, Donghyuck does not love you. At least, he doesn’t think he does.

Not in these moments, when you bug him constantly when you very much know he needs to be focusing and finishing his essay.

But hey, in your defence, he’s got 2 weeks to finish it, and it’s not like he doesn’t have everything planned out for it. He’s been ready, much to your surprise. And as much as you are proud of him, you’re not so proud when he’s chosen to use the time where you two usually go to the grocery store near campus to do some assignment.

And it’s not like he doesn’t bug you every time you’re doing literally anything other than hanging out with him. There was a time you had to tutor Jung Sungchan (who will always remain your favorite student) but Donghyuck was around the corner, whispering (not so) quietly at you about how you should totally ditch math and accompany him wherever.

“Please, Y/n,” Donghyuck finally says after attempting to ignore you for 20 straight minutes. His hands are holding at yours, shaking them with the most desperate expression you’ve ever seen on Lee Donghyuck. “I’m begging you to just let me work. 30 minutes. Then we can go get frozen yoghurt from the dining hall, how’s that?”

You really can’t help but snort, and he can’t help but feel all his frustration flutter away just at the sight of your smile. Strange, he’s been feeling things. “What happened to the Donghyuck I knew last week? When I was sick? That made me swear not to leave each other because you couldn’t even last a day without me?”

“My god, Y/n!” Donghyuck exclaims, and at that moment, his fingers intertwine with yours. Great, let’s play a round of ‘how many times can your best friend make you feel things a best friend shouldn’t’ shall we?

“Yes, my love,” There goes one. God do you hate (read: love) when Donghyuck calls you that.

Donghyuck breathes out, trying to suppress a laugh. (it fails.) “I know I said that, and I still don’t take it back! I really mean it, I really do,” That’s two!

“But please, just let me finish this, and then we can go grab a snack, yeah?” Okay, that wasn’t that bad.

“My treat.” And that’s three.

This comment has you shutting up with a small smile, a swirling sensation of excitement stirring in you. This is the only indication your best friend needs to know you’ve agreed to his terms.

And finally, some peace and quiet. At least, that’s what Donghyuck thought.

“What’s your favorite color?” Donghyuck sighs when you start up after promising him you wouldn’t. He glances at you only momentarily, across from him with your arms tightly wrapped around the pillow Jeong Jaehyun left accidentally when he moved out. You have a small, almost mischievous smirk on your lips, as you lightly nudge at your best friend’s knee with your foot.

“I dunno,” he mumbles out, going back to his work, “never thought of it.”

And then he’s back to typing and ignoring you. Oh, how boring this was. It’s not all that fair, in your opinion, how Donghyuck is ignoring you when every time you’ve wanted to work he’s coming over with Chenle’s dog and a bunch of your favorite movies.

“Okay then, what’s your favorite thing to do?”

“Right now?” Donghyuck murmurs, and can’t help the jumping of his heart or curl at his lips when you crawl closer to him to bump your head against his side. “It would be working on this essay.”

“You’re so boring!”

Donghyuck simply dismisses your words, though you can see the slight smirk at the corner of his lips. He’s amused, and though he claims he wants to finish his essay, you know he very much does not mind your presence with him.

“Fine,” You huff out, “I guess I’ll just go and bother Jaemin or something.”

At this, Donghyuck perks up, eyes wide as he watches you roll off the couch next to him. His hand instinctively reaches out to grab at your wrist before you could leave, tugging you back to stumble back next to him on the couch.

Just as you expected.

“Oh? What’s this? The person who has been completely ignoring me is suddenly giving me so much attention?”

“Uh–” Donghyuck stumbles over his words, racking his brain to find a witty enough response to keep you here with him. Alas, as much as he tries, as hard as he searches, his mind becomes completely blank. It’s been happening lately, actually. Whenever he stares into your eyes, he’s struggling to find all the stupid witty comments, his heart feels like it’s being tugged at, it’s so strange.

“God, okay fine! Yeah, I want you here, but please, just don’t ask me stupid shit, okay?” Donghyuck proceeds to pat the space next to him, his gaze turning shy as he looks away bashfully. “Just–just accompany me, please.”

And surprisingly, you comply, for here you are, next to him, staring at his screen. Your head rests on his shoulder, hands playing with the pillows in your arms. You’re bored, but you can suck it up, just for Donghyuck, you suppose.

A sudden thought pops up in your mind, amd before you can stop yourself, you’re blurting it out.

“What do you want for your birthday?”

You notice how Donghyuck’s fingers completely stop typing, his work put on hold. “What?”

“I mean,” You start, your voice growing quieter, “your birthday’s coming up soon, right?”

All the other years you’ve celebrated it, it was always you throwing a big surprise party for him. It was always your gift for him. But since this year Jeno and Jaemin promised they would do it for him this year, it would mean you’re gonna have to get him a present too.

Donghyuck’s never heard this question, and strangely, he doesn’t really like it coming from you. He doesn’t want to demand things like he does with his other friends (read: Rich kid Chenle). He knows that whatever it is, he’s gonna love it.

“Your love?”

Your breath hitches in your throat at the response you receive, before you fly away from his shoulder to throw him a confused look.

Donghyuck’s face is… incredibly cute. He has a teasing smile, cheeks pulled up with his eyes bright. His chuckles are soft, though they resonate repetitively in your ears, and you can’t help but start chuckling as well.

“Oh really?”

When Donghyuck shrugs with a nod, you can finally come up with an equally witty response. “You better not complain if my gift is a kiss.”

To be honest, Donghyuck doesn’t mind. In fact, he kind of–holy shit Lee Donghyuck wants to kiss you!

iv.

Hyuck 🐻: Hey [22:10] Hey [22:10] Hey [22:11]

You: What [22:11]

Hyuck 🐻: Can we call [22:12]

You: Why [22:12]

Hyuck 🐻: Need help with an assignment [22:12]

You: Okay fine yeah sure [22:13]

Only you did anything but an assignment Donghyuck was struggling on. You went on a video call, he showed you a bit of the equations, and then you don't remember anything about any assignment after that.

The only thing you can recall talking about is literally anything other than it. Like Donghyuck's story of how his pinkie apparently stopped growing. (He's told you about 6 times already, but it's got to be your favorite story to hear.)

Nonetheless, you can't say you mind it. Donghyuck has been a bit distant lately, you're not sure why, but it's great to hear from him again.

Unbeknownst to you, Donghyuck is avoiding you just a little bit. Ever since the time on the couch where he quite wanted you to kiss him, he's not sure where his heart lies. In your palms, probably.

And he definitely feels like it is, especially when you start laughing at one of his stupid jokes through the screen. It's a tiny bit lagged, with your smile coming only a few seconds after your laughs, but it still shakes Donghyuck's heart. He can't even remember the joke.

He can't remember anything when he's with you, all he wants to remember is the curl of your lips, the sound of your laughter, the warmth you emit. Well, the warmth his laptop emits.

"Hey," Donghyuck starts. He picks on the bracelet you gave him last year, after you got it from some kiosk you found when you went on vacation with your family. It was the first real gift from you, and he cherishes it with all his heart.

"Didn't get to ask how your week was, how was it?"

Right, because he's been quite clearly ignoring you all week.

You visibly shift in Donghyuck's screen, going unseen for a moment, before you adjust your laptop on your lap. "It's been okay, got extra free time since Sungchan couldn't come to this week's meeting. Been sleeping a lot more."

"That's good," Donghyuck replies to your summary. It really is, because God knows how little sleep you get. Sometimes it's because of studying, or watching some movie just because you felt like it, or someone (read: Donghyuck) is occupying your time.

Your smile flashes on the screen, and it causes Donghyuck to smile himself, tugging his blankets closer to him.

"How about your week? What have you been doing to not call me every other hour?"

Let's see, thinking of you, staring at your contact photo for some reason, contemplating whether to call you or not, and, well, sleeping. And babbling about you to Lee Jeno.

"Not much, really."

His answer is definitely not what you expected, nor was it really what you wanted. You expected a whole rant, story time until the most ungodly hour of the morning, heck, even a witty little comment like how he's been thinking of you would be okay. (He would totally, but just scared if he would sound too serious because it's literally what he's been doing.)

And this clearly shows through your facial expressions, as your nose scrunches in dissatisfaction. "Really? Why didn't you call me then?"

Your words set a zoo that even Donghyuck has no idea of running around his body, sensations of happiness and giddiness ripple through his whole soul, and he has to physically hold back a grin.

"Why didn't you call me? Why does it always have to be me calling you?"

Donghyuck is lucky enough to come up with a natural and witty comment, a pout playing at his lips. They dangerously threaten to curl when you click your tongue, leaning in closer to your camera. "Fine," you mumble, "I'll call you next time."

Geez, and Donghyuck thought the zoo was enough for him. Now he has his heart shaking, bearing and clenching and buzzing with adoration for you. Holy shit... what was this feeling?

"Oh, by the way," these words once again capture all of your best friend's attention, it has him humming intently, unconsciously bringing his laptop closer to him.

"had this conversation with Chenle the other day," you explain the context, though you clearly know this was a lie. There was no conversation with Zhong Chenle, it was just a scheme.

"What's a random thing you have never had?"

Yes, a scheme to find him a birthday present.

"For example, I never had a gemstone before. Pebbles, rocks, sure. But like rubies and all that jazz? Never."

At first, Donghyuck was a little bit suspicious of your actions and words, but the moment you mention the gemstone and have you've never had it, his mind drifts off from the suspiciousness, instead racking his brain to find a thing.

It takes him a solid minute, one minute of a cute little thoughtful pout, one moment of his low focused humming, one minute of staring at his cute habits. God, perhaps you have it bad for Lee Donghyuck.

As you stare at him, you can't help but wonder what this certain object might be. Donghyuck's been gifted very random things by lots of people. There was a time he got a whole pack of chopsticks for Christmas. It was the craziest shit ever.

"Snowglobe."

You barely get to process his words, before you burst out laughing, very amused by his words. Though Donghyuck is confused, and shocked, he can't help but laugh along with you. He always found your laughter very contagious and enlightening.

"What?" He asks softly between chuckles, eyes glued to the screen, where you attempt to stop your laughter, but fail miserably.

"N-nothing," you snort, "that was just the last thing I expected."

And honestly, Donghyuck gets it. He gets it completely. Snowglobe, of all things, but it’s the truth, it really is.

Donghyuck leans in closer to his screen, if that is even possible, smiling fondly as you quiet down from your laughing fit. You have your face stuffed into a pillow, eyes shut as you try to regain and steady your breath. “It is pretty random, isn’t it?”

Your best friend can’t help but think you look… so precious. How many people in the world get to make you smile this much, how many people can get you to laugh as hard? For some reason, he can’t help but feel almost so special to get to have you in his life. To have you listen to his god awful jokes and to have you accompany him in a call. God, how did he even manage to get you to bake his favorite cookies?

And suddenly, when he glances at you, closing the window to his (finished and submitted) essay, you look way too good for a best friend. Grinning down at your laptop as your favorite part of your comfort movie plays, when have you ever looked so good before?

Considering the fact that Donghyuck was okay with you kissing you just a few days ago, and how you seem absolutely ethereal to him, he’s pretty concerned. What is going on? Why is he feeling this way towards you, after months of being so close, why has he only noticed now?

When Donghyuck softly smiles at the sight of you already mouthing along to your favorite dialogue of the whole movie, he realized that not only is he okay with you kissing him, he wants you to kiss him.

It’s been weeks since you’ve actually hung out properly with Lee Donghyuck, and after all this time spent without him, you realize how painfully boring life could be without him and how incredibly boring Lee Jeno is.

You spent a couple of days with him, and you agree with everyone when they say Na Jaemin truly might be his soulmate, because you don’t know how he can deal with such boringness. (Oh my god has Lee Donghyuck been influencing you too much?!)

Strangely, Jeno and Jaemin have been avoiding you too, but you know why. Even if they didn’t tell you, you know it’s because they would accidentally slip up and tell you their plans for Donghyuck’s birthday party and you would go scurrying off and telling him.

False, they are, because Donghyuck doesn’t…. want to talk to you. At least, that’s what you think, and that’s what you fear. What have you done wrong? What went wrong? The last time you spoke was… about 2 and a half weeks ago, when you had gone over to drop off one of his sweaters he left in your dorm.

He was quite awkward, to say the least. Fidgeting, nervous mumbling, he didn’t even hug you once, he was surely fishy. Ever since then, it’s only been texts, no meet ups or calls. Just texts. And you were initiating and continuing them all by yourself.

A pit of fear lies within you at the thought of you doing something to have Donghyuck stray away from you. Anxiety courses through your veins at the thought of him telling you that you should stop talking or something.

Nobody knows how you feel about him. Fear and love, or whatever you feel for him, nobody knows.

Nobody but Mark Lee. That guy’s great at getting you to spill your beans. Just an ‘Are you sure?’ and you’re going on and on about how confused you feel, how scared and how much you adore Donghyuck.

Thankfully, unlike Jisung or Chenle (or both together), he doesn’t have certain days where he’s making fun or not, he’s always 100% considerate. You’re surprised he doesn’t have a significant other yet, he really deserves one.

And here you are, once again, in front of him, but instead of the library, or his dormitory lounge room, you find yourselves in front of a lake Mark had found recently. You might bring Donghyuck here someday.

“Damn, really? I thought this was gonna be our spot, but I guess you always have to show Donghyuck everything.”

“Well sorry, Mark,” You murmur, as you attempt to skip a rock. It bounces 4 times. “I’m sorry I have a big fat huge crush on my own best friend.”

Mark whistles at your 4 skips, nudging your arm with an impressed smirk. “You say he’s ignoring you?”

“Yeah.” You don’t want to be reminded of the fact. Mark can tell, but you do have to face it either way.

“I know these words might be said like, a thousand times to a thousand people, but it’s really what you should do. Give him some time, maybe he’s going through something–”

“–Mark if he’s going through something he would tell me, he always does! He calls me, usually right before he’s going to sleep, and when I hear his sigh I know. I would know instantly. And I’d be over at his in less than 6 minutes, and he would scold me for wasting my breath for him, and I would always counter how he would do the same thing, because he would!”

Mark isn’t exactly surprised to see you’ve finally cracked. Neither did he expect it, but he knew it would be possible. He lets you rant, he wants you to rant. Get all of it out, until it’s all gone.

“And the thing is, I don’t even fucking know if he would at this point.” You groan and grimace at the tears starting to bead at the corner of your eyes, throwing another rock at the lake. “Did I do something?”

“Y/n,” Mark calls out softly. You almost forget you have company, but with Mark’s hand on your shoulder, moving you in front of him, you know you can trust this company. “even if Hyuck did feel that way, he wouldn’t lead you on, you know he wouldn’t.”

He was right, Donghyuck always called out the bad people in his life and didn’t even hesitate to turn them away. It’s a trait you love about him, he warned you about one of your exes, and instead of scolding you, like he usually does, he went to have a full on conversation with him and full on punched him.

“But if he was leading you on, you’d be okay. He might mean a lot to you now, and in the near future, but there will be people there for you.” Mark has now wrapped you in his arms, patting comfortingly. He mumbles softly, as if he knew the perfect tone to make someone calm down. He does have the perfect tone to calm someone down.

“That’s not gonna happen, though. He loves you way too much to do that.”

Mark Lee is crazy good at comforting, he should probably do it as a job, or something.

“Yeah,” You laugh (with a quiet sniffle that follows), burying yourself in his embrace. You wipe at the small tears on your cheeks, laughing embarrassingly, but Mark assures there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. “God, you’re a really good listener,”

“I know.”

“And advice giver.”

“I know that too,”

You pick up one more rock, turn to the lake, before you toss it. “I think I’m gonna confess. I don’t want this to fester into something really bad.”

Mark nods, joining you in rock skipping. His rock bounces 5 times. “Alright, but if he says anything bad I’m beating the shit out of him.”

You laugh at his comment. Mark Lee is like the brother you always wanted.

vi.

It’s June sixth, Donghyuck’s birthday.

You had texted him a quick birthday text this morning, strike at midnight, like you promised. You haven’t texted him since then, only staring at the ‘thanks y/n <3’ he had sent you about 20 minutes after you sent the text.

At first, you were pretty surprised to see that he was up that late, and then the worry came and started getting you just a little anxious, before you brushed it off, concluding that he was only just playing some more video games with Lee Jeno on his birthday.

And then after that, nothing. No texts, no calls, no nothing. It makes you a little sad, but you’re way too scared to do anything about it. You plan to confess to Donghyuck. Today, at his birthday party Jaemin and Jeno are hosting.

It’s only about an hour and a half away, but you have no plans on getting ready for it. Not at all. For now, you have his wrapped gift in your hands as you stare at your ceiling and practice your confession in your head.

You were always good at memorizing things, speeches, formulas, anything. It was a little thing you enjoyed.

But now, trying to clear your head and recite the confession you plan to tell him, you can’t recall a single word. Just the thought of it going to your best friend, who has been ignoring you for god knows how long, it’s got your heart hammering in your chest and your hands shaking, your nervousness spiking.

You check the clock. 40 minutes until the party.

You’ve got to get your shit together.

Before you know it, you’ve found yourself at the party, Jeno and Jaemin both embracing you at the same time.

“A little late, but nothing too bad! Good to see you again, Y/n!” Jaemin mumbles, before planting a playful kiss on your cheek. You fake a grimace, wiping it off your skin. Jeno only giggles at the situation, before ruffling your hair and nudging his head inside. “You’ll be able to find Hyuck somewhere in there. Can’t be that hard, he’s the birthday boy!”

His words are meant to mean well, nothing with generous intent, but it makes you nervous. Just in a matter of time, you’re about to spill all the beans about all your feelings towards your best friend who probably doesn’t even want to be your best friend anymore. (He wants to be so much more, but you don’t know that.)

The party is busy, busier than you thought, with many people from your classes and some other people they brought, probably for free food and a chance of finding love. Or maybe Jaemin and Jeno are just immensely popular.

All these people, and yet no sign of Donghyuck yet.

His gift is tight in your grip, your fingers bouncing and tapping against it quickly.

The first few people you bump into are your close friends, Huang Renjun and Mark Lee, and you don’t miss the hopeful glint in Mark’s eyes. You shake your head quickly with a slight frown, which tells him everything he needs to know.

Next, are Chene and Jisung, who seem… strange. They’re giggling, which is normal, but they keep nudging at each other and they had started… poking and screeching at you when you asked where Donghyuck was. You had no choice but to check if they were tipsy, or something, only to find their drinks were just mixtures of a bunch of sodas. Gross.

About 25 minutes have passed, no sign of Donghyuck. How are you supposed to give him your gift? (read: how are you supposed to tell him you’re head over heels in love with him?) Is he seriously ignoring you in his own birthday party too?

You’re getting agitated, almost anxious as the time passes.

You run up to Jeno, when you spot him near you. “Hey, have you seen Hyuck around?” You yell over the loud music.

His face twists, and the smile on his face is wiped off and replaced with a slight frown. “You haven’t seen him at all tonight?”

You shake your head.

“That’s weird, he would have been the most excited to see you,”

You excuse yourself, the moment you feel a stir in your stomach. You had a slice of cake, and some apple juice, and you don’t think your stomach is agreeing to the combination. Or the thought of Donghyuck completely ignoring you.

It’s not too long of a walk to the bathroom, after all you could make your way through Donghyuck’s place with your eyes closed. Not a good idea right now, you could bump into that guy with 5 plates of birthday cake.

You finally make your way into the bathroom, quickly shutting the door behind you. Instantly, the music is blurred out, and you close your eyes with a sigh when you feel your nerves calm down just a little bit.

Just a little bit.

They double in amount, however, when you realize that none other than Donghyuck is in the bathroom himself, sitting at the corner by the corner.

You both stare at each other, wide eyes of surprise, clearly unsuspecting of finding one another in the bathroom.

“Hyuck? What the fuck are you doing in the bathroom?”

“Uhhh,” Donghyuck desperately racks his head back and forth for a reason, any kind of reason. “Taking a shit?”

No, he was not taking a shit. Obviously.

You feel a whole whirlwind of emotions hit you suddenly, it strikes at your chest, your heart, before it tingles and moves to your fingers, where you squeeze Donghyucl's birthday present, before it moves onto your feet, as you take one step.

That's as far as it goes, however, and you stop very awkwardly in the middle of the bathroom. There's no point in stopping now, he's right here, you both have nowhere to go, and really it's now or never.

You take another step, and another, and before you know it, you're kneeling and plopping down next to Donghyuck.

It's awkward, at least you think it is. You don't dare look at your best friend, afraid that the moment you do, you'djust blurt out how much you love him.

Donghyuck, however, feels nothing but longing towards you. He longs for you, after weeks of ignoring you. But he doesn't let himself, it's his fault, he should deal with the consequences himself.

"Um—happy birthday!" You blurt out, and stick out your hand with the birthday present in it. It alarms Donghyuck, only for a moment, before he reaches out to it with a grin. You missed his smile.

Instantly, Donghyuck has an urge to unwrap it, to see what it is and treasure it with his whole being, to thank you and hug you and finally just be normal with you once again.

And so he rips open the wrapping paper, finding a snow globe sitting in his palm now. Donghyuck's heart follows each and every artificial snowflake floating about in the glass, swelling and swirling at the gift.

You're nervous for Donghyuck's reaction, seeing him gape at the globe with such wide eyes. Did he not like it? Was it too much? Maybe he wanted to get a snow globe himself.

But, it's nothing short of perfect to him. It's got a polar bear in it, with a santa hat and a christmas tree only half its size, there's nothing in it he could ever point out as a flaw.

"Thank you," Donghyuck finallu breathes out, "fuck, this is perfect—thank you so much, Y/n, really."

"I, uh, wanted to put a picture of us, but I didn't know how to do it so I bought a normal one instead" For the second time that night, Donghyuck's heart goes into a frenzy, just at the sight of your smile of pure happiness and eyes of relief. It pains him to think you could doubt yourself over something as silly as a present. You shouldn't ever worry about what you do to him, he's going to love you no matter what.

The atmosphere lifts a little but after that, as you both shyly smile at the situation.

However, it's not a clear sky just yet. There are grey clouds in the way, grey clouds you can't simply ignore.

And at those clouds, you ought to curse at. You haven't brought an umbrella, or a raincoat, even if you knew it was gonna rain. Here you are, sitting in the shade, knowing that if you step out, it'll start pouring.

But at that, you say fuck it! May it be a drizzle worth of rain, a hailstorm, heck a blizzard couldn't stop you.

"Hey, Hyuck?" You take a step out of the shade.

He simply hums back, gaze never leaving the snow globe.

You take a deep breathe, feeling the first droplet of rain on your skin. "Did… did I do anything?"

And when Donghyuck whips around at you with a shocked expression, you feel the winds of confusion kicking in, growing stronger as he rapidly shakes his head and denies it quickly. "What? No, it's just a snow globe,"

"No, no," You can't help but chuckle at his panicked tone, leaning your hand on your palm. "Not that. Just in general, you know?"

In comes heavier rain, feeling so weighted against your skin. It's cold, harsh, and wet, but you know it's going to be worse.

"If I'm doi g anything wrong, please don't keep it in, please tell me," Your words do more than just surprise Donghyuck, a stinging guilt pains him. Is this what you've been thinking about the whole time he's been gone?

"If I'm making you uncomfortable in any way, tell me. If I did something, tell me my mistake." Your voice is laced with more than hurt, or guilt, it has fear, desperation, and Donghyuck wants to punch himself because of all this.

You can't bring yourself to look at Donghyuck, just merely talking to him about the things you've been worried about is already a whole hurricane for you ti deal with, to fight. "If I'm lacking in any way, tell me what I'm lacking. Just please, tell me, Hyuck. You're one of the most important people in my life and I don't want to hurt you or make you feel bad in any way—"

“—Shut up and look at me!"

You hadn't even noticed Donghyuck calling out to you, not until he's grasped your hands in his, inteetwinign your fingers together.

"God, Y/n, I'm sorry. I made you think the exact opposite. I…" Donghyuck's sentence trails off, and before he knows it, he feels himself choking up once again. Just at the sight of you, so desperate, sorry for nothing, feeling bad, he can't get himself to say anything.

Despite that, he tries, shifting on the floor to face you, "Remember when we met? Two years ago, at Renjun's birthday party? Remember what I first said to you?"

It takes you a moment, but you do remember, how could you ever forget?

'You got some moves! Do you have a phone number too?'

Just by the look on your face, Donghyuck knows you remember. "I still stand by my words."

"...I got good dance moves?"

"Wha—No! After that,"

"...I have a phone number?"

"Oh my fucking god, no. I mean what I meant in general. Like—I was hitting on you," Realization rushed in you, and it hits you like a truck once the words roll off Donghyuck's tongue and register in your brain. Lee Donghyuck was hitting on you.

Donghyuck's heartbeat beats in his ears, terrifyingly loud, and his insides twist in fear and anticipation as he mumbles, "I... I fucking love you, Y/n. I love you so much it hurts, and it terrifies me."

"At first, I just thought friends would be enough. But then we became best friends, which I thought would be better, but god was I wrong. Realizing your feelings for your best friend is crazy, because you're scared of every little thing they do! When you asked me what I wanted for my birthday, you... I just really wanted to kiss you right then and there. When you gave me a hug when I had a bad day, I was so afraid that I would accidentally blurt out the words 'I love you', and when you started looking at me differently, longingly, I realized that I had been ignoring you without realizing. And I feel like an absolute bitch about it. I'm so sorry, for everything. For making you feel terrible just because I was being a fool, for neglecting you, and being an asshole and... and for my feelings. I understand if you feel weirded out, or disgusted, or anything, really. I'm just sorry."

The storm you once thought you'd try fighting away is now drying away, replaced by nothing but the sun after the storm, absolute gid and relief waving over you at his words.

Donghyuck looks so fucking ethereal right now, blushing shyly as he stares at the snow globe you gifted him, and as much as he feels embarassed, there's nothing in him telling him to stop holding your hands. He's holding them so dearly, running the pads of his thumb over your skin, his touch warm and comforting.

"Hyuck," You mumble softly. He doesn't look up. "I think I love you too, Hyuck."

In an instant, Donghyuck's head whips up to stare at you, blinking repeatedly and mouth gaping continuously at you.

"Wait—fuck, wait really?!"

You laugh at Donghyuck's shocked expression, leaning forward to bump your forehead against his shoulder.

"Wait—no—Y/n don't play with me. You love me?!"

"Yes, Donghyuck!"

"Fuck, wait, you said you think you love me. Do you love me or not?"

"Oh my god, I love you! I love you, okay? I don't think your feelings are weird, I think it's dope,"

Donghyuck still continues to gape at you, with what seems like the whole galaxy in his eyes, staring at you as if you were his sun and moon and stars and every beautiful thing out there.

Donghyuck gently shurgs you off his shoulder, before he automatically finds his hands on your skin, caressing your face ever so dearly. The look in his eyes do not change, nor do they falter, desperately staring into yours.

"Are you sure you love me?"

You lean forward to bump your forehead against his, "One hundred percent. You sure you love me?"

Donghyuck shifts to brush your noses together, and you can practically feel his grin against yours. "One hundred percent,"

With that, Donghyuck's lips lock with yours, so softly you feel almost lightheaded. His hands on your face still trace their ways through each inch to your jaw and neck, memorizing each part of you. Donghyuck's lips feel soft, taste of birthday cake you can only assume is from when he blew the candle earlier.

Each peck, each push and pull of your lips feel almost like a dream, but the small smiles and occasional laughs bring you back to reality.

When you pull away, Donghyuck instantly brings you into his arms, planting kisses on every free spot he can find on your cheeks

"When did you realize you love me?"

You hum at the question, "Few months ago."

"All those weeks I've wasted… pining over something I already had?!"

"I quite like it, it adds to the yearning, don't you think?"

Donghyuck only huffs, bringing you closer to him.

"Oh right, speaking of all those weeks we've wasted, care to fill me in on those weeks?"

"What should I tell you?" Donghyuck mumbles, pulling your fingers between his. He reaches down to press a kiss to each of your knuckles.

"Tell me everything?"

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