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from-izzy · 2 months

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cupid's mistake | tbz kim sunwoo

“Now that’s a mistake that I can live with.”

PAIRING » the boyz kim sunwoo x fem!reader (ft. nct's na jaemin) TROPE/AU » friends to lovers, non-idol au!, high school au! GENRE » THIS WAS SO FLUFFY UWU, but also add those angsts!!, SLIGHTLY suggestive (one makeout scene, sunwoo leaves kissing marks near your collarbones), love triangle...?, (kinda) slowwww burn, i love supportive and attentive sunwoo who gives so much love to the reader, MUTUAL PINING (they're both blind aye), sunwoo is an idiot because he PUSHES THE READER AWAY GRRR, cliché cause i live for this hehe, sunwoo babysits the reader's little bro (cutie sunwoo), sunwoo is the type to give the reader physical space because she's overwhelmed, reader blushing at sunwoo, a terrible attempt at comedy, oh...i think i'm in love with kim sunwoo again (i literally changed my bias to hyunjae like a month ago---) WORD COUNT » 13,061 (hi yes, izzy is entering her long wc era!!) ESTIMATED READING TIME » i'm scared to put this down 😭 forgive me!! WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!) » suggestive!!, reader is a lightweight (not sure if this is a warning), reader uses alcohol to distract herself (sunwoo will come to the rescue tho!), reader has a bad schema for men, incredibly fast proofread once

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 part of 'especially to you...'

hands down the hardest story i've EVER written (including my 40+ wips) and i stopped multiple times because it explores a huge part of my life that makes me super vulnerable. the internet may judge me after this but i'm going to stay strong for myself; they don't know what i've been through.

i'm glad that i have met idols who have at least helped my schema for men. mark lee, na jaemin, cho seungyoun (woodz), lee jaehyun (hyunjae) and kim sunwoo (sorry i was so harsh on you 😭 i'm very thankful for your existence no wonder what anyone else believes and thinks; and people can believe what they want to believe because i'm tired of trying to make them believe something else).

izzy...

if there is one internet trend (?) that you should take seriously, it's that: not all men are the same.

and you know that. you've seen it with your guy friends and the teachers that you were close to in high school. they're not like the ones who hurt you. i know you're scared and with what you've been through, i would like to at least believe that it's valid. i really hope that you keep going and keep fighting.

thank you for reading @heemingyu @mmoonbaee !! love our chaotic trio!! 🥰

You’ve rejected Kim Sunwoo before.

Twice, apparently.

It left the rest of your friend group flabbergasted when they heard that you did something so incredible. When asked why you rejected the friend that has stuck with you since the beginning of your hellish high school days, the only response you gave them was a fake smile with your eyebrows knitted together and your eyes roaming around the room, avoiding the intense (and totally unnecessary) curiosity in their gaze.

The truth is that you really do see why people fall in love with Kim Sunwoo.

You agree with the fact that he’s a romantic person and would absolutely take care of his partner well. You can vouch for this with the number of times he almost faceplanted on the very non-slippery cement when he saw you on the other side of the road, excited to finally see his dearest best friend. You can confidently vouch for him when he stubbornly gives his favourite hoodie for you to use, not hesitating to make sure you’re warm even though he knows he’s going to be bedridden. You can brag about your best friend’s selfless personality, telling them how Sunwoo went out of his way to comfort you along the beach at night when you said you were feeling empty.

Out of everyone in the world, you’re the one who knows best that Sunwoo has always been a caring person. Like that time when you both finally became adults and he waited for his first sip of alcohol to be with you. Embarrassingly, you’re much more lightweight than you both thought but even though Sunwoo could barely balance his steps, that didn’t stop him from giving you a piggyback ride walk to your house where he also really embarrassingly this time, actually faceplanted in front of your mother as he misses the step down the stairs when leaving.

So yes, you understand why people have massive heart eyes whenever he’s around.

But to you, he’s just your best friend. One that you hope would be there for you every step of the way even after you go on to the next chapters of your life.

The first confession was a quick one, a simple “Have you ever thought of dating me?” from Sunwoo and with a playful disgusted look, you simply respond with “Ew, no way.”

But the second one is more serious for Sunwoo. His heart was beating so fast that it was strong enough to make his whole body fall onto the ground; maybe it would’ve been better for the Earth to swallow him up so that he’d never have to face you ever again. He didn’t know what took over him and where the sudden urge came from but he meant every single word that he said—and the hues of red and pink on both his cheeks show his true feelings for you (which you missed).

But maybe Sunwoo overestimated how confident he could be around you because as soon as he sputtered “I like you. Should we start dating?” He saw the way your fingers stopped their aggressive tapping on the black squares of your keyboard, freezing and halting for a bit more before your shocked eyes met his nervous ones. Scared to ruin this perfect friendship that he already has with you, he backs out of his words, shaking his head and letting out his forceful rehearsed laugh that got you both kicked out of the library. Though the day could have been the start of something new, he still relished the way he managed to hear at least the rapid complaints fly out of your lips. You’ve been stressed out over the English essay that you’ve been so distant, so at least even though you beat him in a game or rock-paper-scissors for food, the empty wallet that he’s left with after, filled the loneliness in his heart.

Gosh even when you’re mad, he finds you adorable.

But it’s been three years since the second confession and now three years after, Kim Sunwoo is still next to you. Call him a loser—a hopeless romantic—but he would argue the term, telling the people around him that he has his reasons.

“What are we doing for Valentine’s Day?”

The question is not a weird one between you both. Maybe you should’ve said the just-friends boy and girl version of ‘Galentine’s Day’ or whatever the kids these days call it because Sunwoo’s heartbeat would always spike at the mention of the couple’s holiday. He’s always spent the day with you and how could you refuse when he assures you that you can leave your wallet at home?

In truth, he just didn’t want other people to take you out. He tried to fathom the image of you receiving that giant teddy bear, a heart-patterned bow around the neck and maybe the word ‘love’ embroidered on its fluffy white tummy. The only smile in his head is yours and the date that is not him, and he couldn’t help but notice the constricting muscle around his heart and the churning of his stomach.

Kim Sunwoo will always root for you. If your happiness is with someone else, then he wouldn’t dare to take that away from you. He just wants to let you know his true feelings someday—if he could.

Sunwoo swivels his chair around, a quiet hum gave out as an answer for now. He hasn’t thought much about this year, his part-time job and full-time high school student occupying his thoughts a bit too much more than he would like. Usually, he would have a list of things to do but as responsibilities piled up, the wants decreased and with how you’re practically stuck with each other either way, he manages to check off most of the things in his places to go list.

You’re unaware of the longing eyes that fixed upon you as you kept your eyes directed to the ceiling, phone raised above your eyes. You made yourself comfortable on Sunwoo’s bed, his blanket going past your chest and covering your lower body from the blasting air conditioner. Your arms are getting a bit sore but you just want to know if the main characters in the drama would kiss soo—

“Alright, that’s enough internet for you today.” The device is snatched out of your hands, your arms cheering in relief as they plop down on the bouncy material. In refute to his actions, your back straightens but everything happened in a quick three-second interval that you didn’t realise that Sunwoo was already bending down and your forehead collided with his. “Oh my Go—” Sunwoo exclaims, his butt hitting the floor in surprise.

“Serves you right!” You exclaim, begrudgingly rubbing the area with your palm. “Why were you so close?!”

“I was telling you stuff but you weren’t paying attention!”

“You could’ve shouted it!”

“I called your name thrice?!”

“Oh my God! Okay, what was it that you wanted to say?”

All words get stuck in his throat. Even though his head and bottom hurt with the two critical hits at the most unexpected time, he couldn’t help but shy his face away with the way you blew the loose strand that blocks your vision, paired with the slight jut of your little lip as you turn your attention to him.

Sunwoo stutters, gulping when he sees your raised eyebrows from the corner of his eye. “U-Up to you.” Another gulp and wandering eyes, “Is there nothing you want to do?”

“Oh but,” you recall the favour that your mum asked from yesterday. “My mum asked if I could babysit my brother because she has plans already.” Heaving an apologetic sigh, feeling bad for letting Sunwoo down.

“Hey no,” an idea comes to mind as he leisurely crosses his legs. “I love your brother! How about we just spend the day together with him?”

Your eyes narrow suspiciously to the comment he once made about kids, “I thought you said you hate kids.”

“No, I said I hate those who are cuter than me.”

A scandalous gasp from you, “Are you calling my brother ugly?! I’m telling him and my mu—”

“No!” Realising his mistake, he quickly untangles his legs and tackles you back down on the bed instantly, his bigger build toppling over yours easily. “That’s not what I meant! He's an exception!” It's unclear whether his sobs are real or not at this point. “Your mum loves me! Don’t do this to me!”

“Get off me, you stinky raccoon!”

The gym resonates with the squeaks of sixty-something shoes on its polished surface. The sound easily makes you squirm, hating that it screeches against your eardrums so violently. A chuckle is heard at the sight of the displeasure written on your face.

“Very annoying.” The honey-like voices your thoughts. “Would you like to borrow my headphones for a while?”

Instantly, you’re met with his popular gummy smile, the one that swoons everyone in your school. If people aren’t swooning over your best friend, they most probably are falling for the man who made himself comfortable next to the gym steps where you sat. His features are nothing like Sunwoo’s, softer and more approachable with the way his eyes sparkle even more with the help of the shine from above. Because this isn’t sport class, he wears his everyday uniform, his collar is properly presented and not a single speck of ramen soup makes its mark on the annoyingly white cotton. Even with the physical exercise he did, he still looks dashing and neat, wondering how his messy hair still looks attractive—but then again, men with messy hair have always captivated your heart. Jaemin’s kind personality is the final cherry on top and with how you usually have conversations like these when he’s benched or having a break, you’re certainly one of the girls who is attracted to him in no time. Your brown eyes travel further down his dazzling smile, to the black headset on his open palm.

A wave from Na Jaemin to your dazed face pulls you back to reality and you nod wordlessly to the question before. Like the gentleman he is, Jaemin doesn’t even ask you to turn to him but instead adjusts to your line of vision, slightly making the gap between the earpads bigger before resting the cushion perfectly for you. The way he did so was gentle, even tucking your hair strands behind your ear.

“Better?” Another wordless nod. Jaemin lets out an airy chuckle at your pursed lips, moving back beside you. “Here for Sunwoo?”

“And to kill time, I suppose.”

Your eyes wander back to the boy who’s working hard on the soccer field. It’s a usual routine for you to wait for his weekly soccer training so that you both can walk home together. Usually at this time, your nose would be buried in your textbooks, catching up on the work you missed due to the lack of sleep from the previous night. Usually, as well, the practice would be outdoors, the same squeaky sound being non-existent, the same one that ripped you out of your focus since the start of the practice round.

The whistle blares and the coach shouts at the team for a five-minute break. Sunwoo stops his jogging, hands on his knees as he leans to catch his breath while the rest of the team sends encouraging slaps on his back to their dear captain. Sunwoo sends a playful one back to their buttcheeks, the rowdy group enjoying the little gap before they have to get back in the zone. But this is when Sunwoo’s eyes fall upon his teammate and his best friend not too far away. His eyes soften at the way you just blink at Jaemin’s smile, betting that you’re not paying attention to a single thing that he’s saying. Unconsciously, he doesn’t realise how his hands clenched at the growing redness on your cheeks but Sunwoo doesn’t look away even when he walks to get his water bottle.

“Oh.” Eric teasingly remarks. “That’s not a good look, Sunwoo.”

“Shut up.” He mumbles back to his closest teammate. Even though he forces his back on you, he can’t help but steal obvious lovesick glances back.

“Jaemin said he’s going to ask your dearest bestie out on a date for Valentine's.”

Sunwoo tries his best not to let the comment get to him. “Well, she’s busy already.”

“With you?” Eric questions his trailing voice. “The guy she rejected?”

“Shut up!” Sunwoo groans to the boy, swinging his arm around his neck for a headlock. “You’re actually so annoying, Sohn. The whole cohort knows because of you!”

The poor boy begs for mercy, sending hits to his friend’s stomach. And Sunwoo does let go, poking his tongue out at the boy after. Overdramatically, Eric sends one back, calling mischievous names to the boy who is looking over to you once more. He couldn’t force himself to look away from the vital information that Eric said. Without knowing, his feet stride over to you both, finally catching the words from Jaemin’s moving lips.

“Can I take you out on Valentine’s Day? Are you free?”

Sunwoo sees the gears turning in your head and he pleads that you would reject the offer, pleading that you didn’t forget your words from last night. He’s looking forward to the day, especially when he researched a bunch of things that your brother likes, combining with the things you like to make sure the day will be well spent. But the breath he takes stops at his throat when you just continue to stare at Jaemin with wide eyes. Sunwoo might’ve imagined it, but he swears he could see the corner of your lips rising, your head probably thinking of a fun, romantic date with Jaemin.

It’s obvious to him even on the other side of the gym, that Cupid has shot his arrow.

“Yeah.”

The answer didn’t come from you, the response was too deep to be your timbre. The headphones did their job well, masking Sunwoo’s steps and leaving you confused by the clear and loud answer he gave. Excited at the confirmation of your empty schedule, Sunwoo’s heart churns at the way Jaemin excitedly holds your hands, turning your confused head tilt to him into another blushing one. Unfortunately, you were unable to say a word to any of the two boys, the coach beckoning everyone in the team over for the final part of their practice.

Faintly, you hear Jaemin saying that he’ll contact you and that you can return his headphones tomorrow in class. You just watch the way Jaemin hops back to the rest of the team while Sunwoo follows closely behind, his shoulders slightly slumping as he drags his feet to make that noise you hate.

The walk home isn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Sunwoo acts like the gym didn’t happen and you raise your eyebrows at his suspicious actions of him walking slightly in front of you even though he still talks about the parts of the day when you weren’t with him. With the slight gap, you observe the way his front bangs slump over his vision, covering his sullen eyes. The hands inside his pockets continue to tense and he tries his best to ignore the obvious crease between your eyebrows. He doesn’t even question the short answers you came up with in his storytelling. Even now as you arrive at your front door, Sunwoo doesn’t bring the topic up, choosing to send his usual smile and ‘see you tomorrow’.

But you refuse to let his actions go. “What was that all about back there?”

It puts Sunwoo’s feet rooted to the ground and he feigns an innocent look. “You know,” he starts now with a smirk on his face, “Na Jaemin could totally figure out that you have the biggest crush on him with the way you looked at him with those googly eyes of yours.”

“I do not have googly eyes when I look at Na Jaemin!”

“Sure, you don’t.” Rolling his eyes, “You were close to drolling over him back there.”

You could tell that he was just avoiding the subject and prolonging touching it until you just let it go. “Sunwoo.” The tone of your voice tells him that you're seriously looking for answers, “Why’d you say that back there? I thought we were babysitting my brother together?”

“It’s fine.” He swats his hand in the air. “You go have fun and I’ll look over the child myself.”

“But I—”

“Can you just stop complaining and go in? I’m tired from practice.” Sunwoo cuts you off, turning the doorknob and pushing you in with small strength. “See you tomorrow!”

He does close the door on your face, ignoring the inhale you take and walking away before you start rebutting his words. But with that, you also missed telling Sunwoo of your mum who stands leisurely behind him and when your mum greets him, Sunwoo gets the scare of his life, yelping and crouching to the floor, a hand over his chest.

“Serves him right for cutting me off twice.”

At this time, you didn’t realise the ache in your heart, too busy chuckling at his misery as your mum helped the poor boy before he disappeared out of your sight with multiple polite bows.

Now, Sunwoo is left to wallow in his stupidity. The devil in his head even shakes his head disapprovingly and the angel desperately tries to cheer him up, telling him that everything will be fine but it has no effect on the distraught boy. He lets out all the swear words that he knows, mumbling them to himself, criticising his past actions. A headache starts to form and he is unable to walk a straight line on the well-leveled road.

“You’re an idiot, Kim Sunwoo.”

He replays the earlier scene. The way your eyes fall on Jaemin fondly, the way all words seem to be lost when he speaks to you and the way you freeze when Jaemin holds your hand in his. His feet stop dragging on the stone when he spots an ice cream truck and the sweet fragrance of your favourite flavour. Even with small things like this, he thinks of you.

He observes the two friends who approach the vehicle, recognising the uniform as the same as the ones he has on. Judging by the satisfaction on the girl’s face and the complaints of the boy, Sunwoo assumes that the shorter one probably won a bet or something. His mind wanders to you once more, the dynamic of his two underclassmen similar to the one he shares with you.

More calm and accepting that he has probably lost you to Na Jaemin, if asked why he still chooses to stick with you after two rejections, Kim Sunwoo can.

The fastest and simple answer is that you don’t have a good schema for love. It was shattered the moment that you found out that your dad cheated on your mum four years ago. Your family fell apart shortly after your dad packed everything and left, leaving your mum alone as the sole parent when you were still trying to fully understand the world around you.

The rest of the world doesn't see how the separation affected you. However, Sunwoo was there during the times when you cried your eyes out, taking the frustrated punches on his chest, when you declared that you would never fall in love, scared of falling into the same fate as your mother especially when your dad has always voiced out that he loves his family and would always stay with them.

The world doesn't see how you hide behind his reassuring back whenever a male is too close for your liking. They don't see how you practically hold onto his arm with anxiety after a person confesses to you even though you're thankful that they look at you fondly. They don't see the fear in your eyes like Sunwoo has seen every single part of it.

When you would tease each other, like the time when he tackles you onto the bed, that's an exception. Sunwoo has always paid attention to your actions, both conscious and unconscious. He knows all about when you and when to keep his distance.

Thirty centimetres, sixty sometimes, and he would always wait for you to close the gap, stealing glances behind to make sure you were still following. Ninety-nine point nine per cent of the time, you would pick up your pace and Sunwoo would purposely slow down and the gap between the side of his arm and body would get bigger with each step you grow closer to him. When you clutch onto his arm again, he sends you that understanding gaze, mouthing a little 'hi' or 'hello' before facing forward again with newfound happiness.

The other point one is you asking if he could come back to stand beside you. But again, he would never ever touch you first and even when you arrive at your doorstep with no progress, Sunwoo would still look at you, reminding you of how proud he is and winks playfully to lift the corners of your lips before sending his 'see you tomorrow' still with happiness as his main aura.

It breaks Sunwoo’s heart whenever he sees you like that. That's the reason why he took his second confession back.

So when Kim Sunwoo, selfless and rooting for your genuine happiness, sees the different gaze that you send Na Jaemin, he can’t help but push his feelings aside. Plus, Na Jaemin is a good guy so he feels more reassured setting you up with the ace striker in the soccer team.

Cupid frowns down at the boy, his wings flapping sadly at the fake smile he puts on as he continues his walk home. It’s strange how he found himself sad for the dejected boy.

“Truly an idiot you are, Kim Sunwoo.”

Back home, you rewarded yourself with a warm shower. Though your physical body was able to let loose under the light sprinkles, your eyes couldn't help but mix in the metallic water with your salty ones. The water pressure manages to swallow most of your cries but the mirror doesn't lie when you see your red eyes after.

The gulp you took is painfully dry, tired from the tears from earlier. Your reach for the bathrobe is slow, letting the air cool touch your slightly red skin after the temperature. “At least he made it clear that he doesn't like me in that way.”

The knocks against the nearby room beckons a ‘Come in!’ from you and you quickly run the sides of your fingers on your eyebags as soon as you register the young boy from the mirror.

“Sis!” Dashing towards you, headbutting your back, “I heard Ddeonu hyung will be here tomorrow night!”

It's endearing to see how the news makes the little one jump, both his hands on your arm for support. A hand ruffles his already messy nest, “Be good tomorrow, okay?”

And the response morphs the smile upside down, “You’re not gonna be with us?”

Overloading with cuteness, you couldn't help but swivel around on your vanity chair towards your sibling, your hands pressing his cheeks, “With or without me, you're going to be with Sunwoo all day anyways!” Remembering all the times when he preferred to be in Sunwoo’s arms over yours, “Just don't make the poor raccoon run around too much, okay? He's getting old.”

“Does that mean he will fly to the cloud soon?”

“No, no.” Making a mental note to tell Sunwoo and imagining the way his jaw would drop at the wild question, “He's just old and tired now.”

Though confused at the repeated answer, the child seems to let it go, shrugging in satisfaction anyway at the plans for tomorrow. The smile upturned once more and you lift the boy much to his happiness, kicking his legs when you adjust his posture on your vanity table.

“Makeup!” He exclaimed about the objects around him, open palms to mimic a twinkling motion in the air.

“Makeup!” You echo, grabbing the cushion foundation. “Do you want to make me into a Princess?”

Obviously, he would not reject the offer, snatching the round object into his palm and patting the powder onto your neck.

“I'm going to make you the prettiest sister ever and raccoon hyung won't be able to take his eyes off you!”

Cupid shakes his head once more, his belly lying on the puffy cloud. He rests his chin on his palm, wondering how the similar-sized boy is more likable to him than the two blind adults—but it's obvious because he's not the stupid one.

“Well,” clicking his tongue on the roof of his mouth, “this one is an idiot too.”

Leading up to Valentine's Day, you thought at the very least you could spend the missed day with Sunwoo but he's more than adamant about pushing you to Jaemin. Whenever he saw a window of opportunity, he would call the boy over, a big waving motion from his hand in the air.

Whenever Jaemin spots you, every part of his face lights up and yours is supposed to reciprocate the stars in his eyes. But how could you even see it when all you see is the whole universe in Sunwoo’s ones instead?

The realisation that it has always been Sunwoo scares you and it terrifies you even more that the same boy who has always given his heart to you is making the gap between you both larger, further away, more and more within arms reach for your comfort. At first, it was confusion but then every part of your aching heart just longed for his presence beside yours once more.

Jaemin reminds you of the date one last time, the final text before you part ways at the school entrance is bolded, italicised and underlined. And Sunwoo? He intruded the house way earlier than everyone expected but judging from the open arms from your mother and the way you could hear your brother’s shrieking from the other side of the house, it's obvious that you’re the only one who’s dreading the early visitor.

Speaking of the visitor, your brother made himself comfortable by sitting on his neck, hands gripping his hair to make two little pigtails. Seeing Sunwoo fit right into your family from the very start has always been heartwarming and you would've told your brother to pull on two tails if you weren't busy avoiding his eyes from the mirror.

“Look!” Sunwoo gasps to your brother, finger pointing to you, “Your sister is so pretty, isn't she?”

And it became ten times harder to keep your tears from falling.

“Thanks.” You managed to seeth out from gritted teeth.

“Come on! You're going to be late.” Reminding you of the long hand of the clock reaching the top of the circle when Jaemin promised to pick you up. “Which bag are you using?”

It's heartbreaking to see him just walk past you after the compliment, whistling leisurely as he looks through the pile of bags on the side hook of your wardrobe. You found yourself looking down at your lap, trying to shake off the nervousness and anxiety in your mind. You try your best to focus on the tension of your gripping fists, letting go and repeating to ground yourself back. The tears are starting to blur your vision but you push the sleeves of your outerwear over your knuckles and smudge them away.

The way that Sunwoo still entertains your brother as he takes the body of the bag in your direction, humming intently to see if the colour of your outfit will clash with the accessory, brings your emotions to their peak and you just want to run away from this situation. He settles on one, a victorious exclamation falling from his lips and begins stuffing your necessities himself.

“Phone,” checking off the mental list, “keys and wallet.” Your brother pointing at the lone lipstick left at the centre of the painted surface, “Ah! This too!” Putting the closed cylinder inside the small purse before the metal zips and is carefully balanced on your shoulder.

Your thankful mutter didn't go unheard by Sunwoo and so did the tinge of makeup on the sleeve that you used when he looked away for a brief moment.

“Hey!” Sunwoo cranes his head to speak to the younger, curious eyes. “Why don't you go on ahead first and pick what ramen you want?”

The kicking of his heels against his chest made him wince a bit, quickly putting your younger brother where he dashes off with his favourite food.

Throughout the whole exchange, it once again confirms the fact that Sunwoo is truly loving to the people around him. The way that he tries not to disappoint your brother, even if there are probably bruises forming from his kicking, the way that he peels his head out to make sure your brother is taking careful steps to the kitchen and finally, the beaming but adoration in his eyes when he finally lands on the casual outfit you're wearing.

“Wow.” A breathless chuckle, head empty with the sight of you.

His cheeks flushed and he couldn't help but stare at your stunning choice of outfit—if hoodies and no makeup could make his heart jump out of his chest, then he should go to the hospital because of your off-the-shoulder white top paired with the beige pleated skirt and cardigan.

“Okay?” You ask timidly, “L-Like, do I look okay?”

“You're stunning.” He says truthfully that your body goes numb, looking away from the sparkles in his eyes.

Now, that's new. “Hey…” Taking steps towards you, “What's wrong?”

But your heart is fighting so hard that you feel like you're about to give up. If Sunwoo is going to reject you, then you just want him to do it so that you can forget about all this and just go back to pretending that you will never have heart-shaped eyes for Kim Sunwoo ever again.

“Y-You’re okay with this?” The leather of your bag crinkles at your gripping question.

“Yeah,” Sunwoo answers. “Don't worry. Jaemin is a great guy.”

Your eyes widen at the comment, “No, I-I know that bu—”

But Sunwoo suddenly zooms into your face, even bending his back to make sure that you wouldn't miss the pout on his handsome face. His eyes landed on your lip-touched makeup, “Wait, can I have your lipstick? Let me retouch it for you.”

You couldn't even refute, feeling the cooling pink painting your lips, contrasting the palm on your cheek that steadies the delicate work on your lips. Why did he bother asking if he was just going to retrieve it himself? You're thankful Sunwoo can't multitask, missing the glimmer in your orbs as you try your best to keep your lips from shaking like your legs are slowly becoming. It’s clear that he didn’t know how to properly manoeuver the brush on your lips but you find yourself forgiving him even if your lips become a mess after this.

The defeated groans from his lips only made your heart swell and you take your time to look at him as if you’ve never done so before; from his eyelashes that flutter prettily, to his tongue that pokes out in concentration, it’s crazy how handsome someone can be when he's not doing anything special. The pads of his finger spread the colour, smacking his lips as a sign for you to copy which you eventually do.

“Done!” And just when your heart thought it could finally get a break, Sunwoo decides to play with it a bit more, fishing out a snap hair clip. His hands smooth any bumps that aren’t visible to the naked eye. A hand holds the side of your head gently, the other sliding the gift across your scalp carefully. “Alright, now let’s go!”

Your tears are so incredibly close to flowing but the lights of your room die like every hope of telling Sunwoo that you’re not as excited as he is for the night to come. But if this is Sunwoo’s way of completely rejecting any romantic feelings for you, then what can you do except to trudge down your hallway where even your brother wishes that you would have a fun time? The smile on your lips doesn’t reach your eyes when both boys remind you not to come home late in addition to Sunwoo’s “Text or call me if you need anything!”

You spare a final glance at the two, sombre smile plastered on your face. The last face you see is Sunwoo’s whose eyes still held on a smile even though yours has been wiped away. Maybe it was supposed to encourage you or maybe it’s nothing and you’re just reading too deep into it but if there’s one thing you know is that the night with Jaemin, even though he is a well-mannered man, a gentleman inside and out, your head couldn’t help but wish that it was Sunwoo who took you to the arcade, making sure your arms are filled with snacks and drinks.

You wished that after that, no one was there to pull your chair out, instead laughing at the way you almost tripped on air while trying to sit down. You wished that you could’ve just stared at the menu in contemplation and for Sunwoo to just choose for you so that he could silence the growling in his stomach.

Cursing the famous day as well, seeing the love around you, the couples enamoured by their partners all around you, it only made the guilt inside grow further.

By the time the night is spent, Jaemin knows that his feelings aren't reciprocated. First, it's the way you ask him to repeat his words multiple times. Second, it's the way that your eyes are blank, just your orbs staring into space. Third, it's the way that you try to discreetly check your smartwatch for notifications from your best friend at your home.

“I'm sorry.” Jaemin chuckles in response after he softly calls you out.

The boy shakes his head, hands inside his pants pockets. “I knew that you didn't like me. I guess I just wanted a chance to maybe change that once.” But then he sighs an understanding sigh, closing his eyes before fluttering them back at you, “but you're too far gone into your feelings to realise what I've been doing.”

Your eyes welled up with tears, apologetic at his words and Jaemin couldn't do much but give words of comfort after you explicitly stumbled away from his reaching hand, asking for physical space. You mutter a million apologies for today but Jaemin is respectful, convincing you that the friendship between you both won't change and that eases your mind.

“Should I text Sunwoo?” He carefully asks. “To pick you up.”

A shake of your head is what had Jaemin’s eyebrow furrowing. “It’s okay. I’ll text him right now.”

And though your makeup is a mess, transferring onto the sleeves of your cardigan more, Jaemin still thinks you're stunning, the clenching of his heart intensifying at the glitter you still managed to hold. Jaemin leaves you alone in a convenience store near your favourite beach and somehow, you manage to convince him to go on ahead first, leaving your thoughts alone in the night of love.

Your feet routinely take you along the beachside, taking shelter at the convenience store for a while, grabbing drinks and food to aid your broken heart. When you crouch for the bottle at the bottom shelf, your mind just has to remind you that someone wouldn't even let you do this, always protecting you from any wardrobe malfunction.

Your knees finally give out and the back of your thighs meet with the back of your lower leg. Your hands only clutche on the neck of the green bottle while you hide your distressed face behind the curtains that your hair made.

Thinking of it all infuriates you.

Why can't you just be more trusting towards others? Believe that not all of them are out to ridicule or make fun of you.

“Sunwoo…” You couldn't help but mumble as your tears finally painted your beige skirt darker.

Thankfully you were able to keep your emotions somewhat at bay, straightening your posture with the cooling drink in one hold. The cashier could only offer you an encouraging speech and an empathetic smile as soon as she saw the trail on your cheeks. The gesture is needed but the anxiety still weighs on your chest deeply. She must've thought that you've gone through a huge breakup on this unfortunate pinky day but you think the internal agony is worse.

For the last few hours or so, Sunwoo has been updating you with your baby brother through pictures. If only the pictures were just about the younger one and not a duo picture that once again shows that Sunwoo is a keeper when it comes to babysitting. The device is stashed in the bag that he chose from you earlier but if you could, you could honestly feed it to the sharks on the beach in front of you.

The wind provided you company, hitting your red apple-coloured cheeks to balance your rising temperature. You knew you shouldn't drink alone especially when the moon was high in the sky but you couldn't help but bask in the tide that hit the sand, pulling everything back into the body of water.

The tips of your toes are drenched and you would usually be running further away as soon as water hit your ankles but you didn't want to. It’s times like these that you’re thankful for the invention of safety shorts as you're able to sit in any posture you like without worrying. Your knees constantly bend and straighten, dragging the sand along with it and at this point, you've created a shallow hole.

“I mean,” you slur, “I’m so comfortable with Sunwoo so why can't I be the same with the others?” your eyes could only shut in self-contempt from today’s date, “And Jaemin was so respectful to me too…”

It’s frustrating that you can't trust others when they've done nothing wrong. The only thing that responded to the strike down your cheek was the last drop of liquid courage; now even objects have started mocking you.

“I have to stop relying on him,” a hiccup and a humourless laugh. “When he gets a girlfriend…” the thought cracks your heart into pieces and your knee grows closer to your chest, “Gosh, what am I doing?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

The deep voice and a couple of deep breaths made you turn back so quickly that you fell over sideways. The boy momentarily scolds you even more, grumbling, pointing at your ruined shoes tossed aside in the sand and exhaling whilst turning his head away to catch a break from the soaked ends of your outerwear. When the worry envelops him again, Sunwoo takes a better look at your state.

His tongue clicks against the roof of his mouth loudly and the crease between his eyebrows only deepens each time his eye focuses to another part of your face.

“Did you drink?! Alone?! I told you not to drink without me!”

His initial volume made you jump a bit, especially with how he directly circles behind you to pick up the discarded, lonely bottle. Sunwoo's nagging continues, crouching beside you to your eye level with the bottle making tunes from the wind. The pout answers him, along with the way your fingers fiddle on the hem of your sleeves. You had no intention of voicing out the answer now that he knows so you just say something else.

“You actually came…”

The ‘something else’ did make his ramble stop and his intense features started to soften and melt away when your words hit him.

“Of course, I came.” Reassurance above the whispering wind, “You texted me.”

Your lips couldn't even gape open with a response because Sunwoo takes a couple of steps back, away from you. Though his body is still facing yours with his shoes pointing at you and arms around his knees, the safe distance is what makes your head hurt at the many things you could say to him.

“Did you put him to sleep?” You opted for this conversation instead.

Sunwoo’s nods just got in your peripheral vision, but your nod is the centre of his.

You let the wind break you even more, not even raising your hand to move the strands that became trapped between your lower and upper eyelids, tickling your eyes when it finally is freed. Without a doubt, you know that Sunwoo is just watching you patiently, waiting for you to tell him to drop you home or to at least talk about the night whether it be his or yours. Your nervous system couldn't help but relax in his presence.

Inside, Sunwoo wants something from you too. An indication to move further and to close the thirty-centimetre gap he has created. Just anything so that he could finally leave the coldness that nips at his trembling skin. His bangs brushes over his sight but he still has a clear view of you. The side of his head only rests on his arm as he just stares at you, humming a tune that hopefully reaches you.

“Woo.”

“Hm?”

“Do you like someone?”

A series of stuttering and unsure hums came from him. Your knees push against your chest hard, burying your head between them. Soon enough, you're convinced that the pressure is what kept your heart together after the affirmative answer.

“I…” Here goes nothing, “was supposed to be with her today and maybe ask her out officially but she had other plans and so did I.”

“Oh.” You didn't know if he heard it. You kind of wished he didn't because of how sore your throat suddenly feels. “I’m sorry, I should've been the one to take care of my brother inste—”

“She was busy too,” Sunwoo repeated, words clearer and punctuated. “It doesn't matt—”

“Will I be able to trust anyone again?”

“W-Wha—”

“Will someone ever love me the same way that you love her?”

The thoughts haunt you every night when you're asleep and now that you finally share it with someone, you lose yourself in the alcohol and blurt out the impulsive thoughts.

“W-Whoa.” Sunwoo nervously chuckles. “Did the date really go that ba—”

“Do I know her?”

“Ye—”

“Tell me. Let me make sure she's a good person.”

The only response you get is a low groan and sigh; both from Sunwoo and the guardian Cupid above you both. The moonlight twinkles the curve of the forgotten bottle but it reminds Sunwoo that you're not in your right state of mind and that you're just pressing to get the thoughts out of your head rather than truly looking for answers.

For the first time, Sunwoo took action, dusting his clothes from the damp sand. You merely watch with half-hooded eyes as he strides against the swallowing sand, your head slowly turning from the side to the front where he settles himself. Sunwoo gives you a soft tug of the corner of his lips and his dancing bangs only make him all the more attractive. He tests the waters, holding his hand out to reach yours, permission to touch you through his gaze. When you nod, he doesn't hesitate to share his body warmth starting from his bigger palms, relieved at how you seem to let out a breath that you have been holding.

“Deep breaths, bubs.”

The nickname makes you swoon and makes his instructions unclear. Though the pounding on the side of your head makes it hard for you to morph Sunwoo’s clone together, the name managed to at least get your attention. With this, he didn’t mind the way his clothes drank the seawater when he kneeled, even dragging his fabric across the surface. Sunwoo responds with a jut of his lower lip when you just shoot him a glare but your act disappears when he opens his arms wide. Without any further hesitation, your forehead rests on his chest. One of his hands cups the curve of your waist and the other threads through your silky hair. The act makes your body shudder and you find your arms start to hold his middle even tighter when he collects your hair and tosses it over to a side, his palm now covering your whole nape.

“You’re alright.” Sunwoo muses. His diverts to yours and maybe you’re just imagining the adoration dripping from his eyes but you couldn’t help to speak a bit of your mind.

“You're doing it again…”

“Doing what?”

You didn't give him a verbal answer, the shake of your head and the whines you gave were enough for him to just embrace you into his presence. Sunwoo hides you from the world when he sees the tears brimming across the eyes that he’s fallen for. Daring, he presses a kiss on the top of your head, smiling fondly at your more balanced breathing.

“Let’s go home?” The shake of your head made Sunwoo rake for more ideas. “Wanna have a sleepover at my house then?”

“No.” Muffled answer from his chest. “You’re just going to make me sleep on the floor.”

“Hey! You lost the bet last time! Don’t blame your skill issue with rock-paper-scissors on me!”

“Fine then! I’ll just stay here for the rest of the night!”

Oh, he's so in love with you. Sunwoo only coos, his heart fluttering and content when you respond to the playful war that he wages.

“I’ll let you take the bed.” A raised eyebrow is what you offer him with when you crane your head and Sunwoo could tell the suspicion that you had against his words. “I’m serious!”

“Really?”

A roll of his eyes and a scoff, “As if I’ll let you take the floor knowing that you’ll be hungover tomorrow.”

“Well,” a shaky inhale, “you could.”

“Yeah?” This time it’s his turn to have an eyebrow raised. “Why would I do that?”

“Because when you go off and date someone, you won’t be able to keep doing whatever this is.”

“Yeah?” He repeats himself, desperate for a little bit more of your feelings. At least let me down properly, he thinks to himself. “And what happens if I don’t want to put my focus on someone else? What happens if I just want to keep focusing on you? What happens if I just want you in my life and no one else?”

Now, Sunwoo’s hands grip a hold on your upper forearm and pull you away from his body. The moonlight finally reaches your face and Sunwoo observes you thinking, his eyes boring into yours, silently pleading for some sort of indication that would end the pink and red swirls in his eyes whenever he catches even a glimpse of your figure.

“Then I would tell you that I like you and that I have for the longest time.”

Are drunken thoughts still sober thoughts in this situation?

Sunwoo’s head dips dangerously close and it takes everything in him to not press his lips onto yours. If you even allowed any words that imply that he may have taken your heart, he told himself he would look away even if it meant burying himself into the ground and never seeing civilisation ever again. The struggle is written all over his face: the tight wrinkles around his eyes that accommodate the crashing of his eyebrows, the protective hold he has on you and the way he presses his forehead onto yours with his hair tickling you, quiet exhales leaving his lips.

“Please don’t do this to me,” he pleads, “You’re drunk and I’m trying to not cross the line.”

“Cross it…” Mellow and enchanting. “I give you my consent.”

“Don’t.” He grits and tries to still his heart. “I can't…”

“Kiss me, Woo.”

Sunwoo swore that his heart almost leapt out of his chest when his eyes shot open, immediately growing bigger with how you nudged the tip of your nose to his. His temperature receptors feel the shift of the warmer air growing closer to his lips and he can’t help but focus on the way your eyelids flutter close.

The attraction is fatal and so is the small distance left. Unconsciously, even though it’s wrong, he couldn’t help but adjust his position, wanting to claim you as his even if it’s just for a while. Just when your lips are mere millimetres away from touching, Sunwoo denies the touch of heaven, the angel inside gets his hands to fly and block the intimate act with his fingers. A hand cups your cheek, tracing along your jawline and a thumb slots in between your plump lips from reaching his. His breath hitches when you peek at the smooth surface, void of the curves that you were expecting. He watches the stars fade from your eyes, replacing them with a wall that he couldn’t decipher.

Through his eyelashes that flutter quietly and the painful gulp, he prompts you once again, “Let’s go home.” More resolute and grounded than before. “We can talk about this tomorrow.”

The thumb did leave the presence on your cupid’s bow but lingers at your lip’s bottom edge. Sunwoo watches as your lips bounce back after he lightly pulls it down and he sees the dullness from your eyes with every single second that passes. He shoves his sleeves past his fingertips, wrapping the grey around his pointer and starts to collect your confusion on his sleeves.

“I-I’m sorry.”

He could tell it was genuine and he assumed that you might’ve sobered up a little bit within the last couple of seconds. Sunwoo met your forehead once again with his thumb that still held you like you were as fragile as the glass bottle that had been discarded.

“Please don’t leave me.”

“I’m not going to leave you. Don’t even bother to think of those things ever again.” He reassures your muddled-up mind. “I’m going to pick you up, okay?”

Between your hazy vision and the churning of your stomach, the only indication you could give is a nod and outstretched arms towards his now-standing figure. Sunwoo adoringly chuckles, bending down and supporting your weight by scooping you up by your waist. He kept your body close to his even when he turned around and kneeled, patting his back for you to slump over.

Out of energy, your arms lazily dangled during the walk, elbows resting on his shoulders during the whole walk. Truth be told, his back aches because you couldn’t get a proper grip on him but he knows as soon as he straightens his back to a more comfortable position, you might actually hit your head and wake up in the hospital. The walk back to his car is quiet, chattering filling the background noise. If you’re awake, you can feel the shaking of his thighs as he carefully rests you on the cushioned seat, an arm coming over his head onto the back of yours as a safety measure from the upper door frame. Without a single sound from you, he successfully buckles you securely in the front seat. Your coat is gently undressed from you to be used to cover your legs, the short skirt only makes you shiver in the night.

“Why do cars always sound so loud?”

Sunwoo complains when he twists the car key to start the engine. His eyes fall to you again, observing your sleeping figure who is unaware of the little jumps and loops his heart made. His pointer reaches over to the loose strands that tickle the front of your face. From the back of your ear, he holds his breath at your slightly gaped lips that pull him closer, drawing him nearer to share a kiss with you. Why did you have to look so stunning despite the reeking alcohol that only becomes stronger in the small space?

Though faint, his reflection from the front window stares at him and he can’t help but sink further into the seat, wanting to hide and run away from himself. “Will you ever look at me the same way?” he grumbles hopelessly into the palms that shield him from reality before driving towards his house.

The exhaustion from the eventful day finally washes over him as soon as he parks his car in one go. Usually, you would give an impressed look and Sunwoo would wiggle his eyebrows when you only scoff at his achievements. The connecting door to his house opens, throwing his things inside the hallway without much thought before jogging back to your side. His eyes narrow, concentrating on making as minimal noises as he can whilst opening the metal surface that separates you and him. A hand pushes on the door while the other does the contrasting action with the handle to avoid the loud click that vehicles make. Thankfully your head isn’t resting on the door, something that he made sure didn’t happen so that you could rest in his house without the bumps of the road lifting your head and slamming it back down due to ruthless gravity.

And as much as Cupid’s curly blonde hair is between all the sides of his fingers, he mastered the art of patience and ‘trusting the process’ as he took a series of deep inhales.

Throughout the whole time, Cupid is impressed at how blind you both prove to be. It’s obvious now as he pays attention to the way Sunwoo treats you and the way that you desperately clutch on his jacket that you both are more than best friends. He ponders if he should shoot another arrow even though the initial one he shot is showing progress.

In this line of work, where he’s used to shooting, and observing for a while before going to another potential couple, he seems to be stuck with the couple in front of him. Up until now, he has never thought to shoot the second arrow that is reserved for a couple that makes him look away distastefully. He’s never met one that makes him take them out of their trance as it’s obvious it became more bad than good for them but what he’s twirling in his hand is not that.

But he starts to think about his decisions whenever you're hurting because of the world and he starts to think of the shatter in Sunwoo’s heart whenever he's around you.

Is it worth it to have you both come together?

“But you know,” the arrow stops between his pointer and thumb, the crest hitting the perimeter of the stationary cloud. Cupid continues to peer over the two, finding himself squealing with the way Sunwoo continues to make teasing jokes to make sure you don’t fall asleep behind the bathroom door while brushing your teeth and changing into your favourite hoodie of his. “I don’t think shooting one towards these two will do much.”

He smiles knowingly, completely immersed in the way that Sunwoo hops over to cradle your head into his chest as soon as you open the door. Your mind is still under the scorching forty percent but you didn't miss the way Sunwoo’s fingers rub on your exposed thigh when he brings you to his bed bridal style.

And if he shoots another arrow?

Oh, Cupid knows that you’re both more than just teenagers in love. Especially in your case, terrified, and for Sunwoo who just wants to see you happy—another arrow means nothing if you both don’t learn and figure out this obstacle yourselves.

With Sunwoo’s help, you’re snugged underneath his blanket, pulling it up to your nose, just the way you like it. The laundry detergent brings you rest, and your brain immediately relaxes as it associates the scent with safety. Your body rests on its side and you watch Sunwoo as he takes a kneeling position on the side of his bed, taking his hand to yours while his other forearm rests on the bouncy futon. The act makes his heartbeat increase once more. “Sunwoo.” The boy only keeps his affectionate eyes on yours while he strokes your hair. “Thank you for picking me up.”

The brushes of his thumb on the back of your palm could lull you to sleep. “Can I sleep on the living room couch today then?” Mischievously suggesting, knowing how much you would complain about leaving you alone in the room for the whole night.

The question makes you pout awake again, “You’re going to leave me?” Maybe you weren’t up for the joke and Sunwoo smiles sadly, clearing his throat and shaking his head assuringly.

“I’m just joking with you.” An airy laugh seeped out from his lips. “I’ll sleep on the floor.” Pointing at the unoccupied space behind him. “Don’t worry.”

“Or you can sleep next to me…”

Cupid feels the tension in the air after your suggestion. He propels the bed of clouds, flying closer to have a better view of you two. He’s so invested in the way Sunwoo softly looks at you that the shake of his head after some thinking makes him scream once more, burying his face into the white puff of air.

“Why not?” You scooted against his bed, making space to prove your point that the bed was big enough for you both. “It’s not like we’ve never done it before…”

“I know.” Sunwoo stands from his kneeling position but you refuse to let go of his hand. Instead, your hands slide up from his wrist to entangle them between his fingers. “Bubs…”

“I’m scared.” That’s all it took for Sunwoo’s knees to hit the floor again, coming closer to you. “What if I do manage to fall in love but then I just get hurt?”

“Then he’ll deal with me.” It elicits a whimper from you and your vision suddenly blurs once more. The tears brim up more when Sunwoo’s hand cups to rest against the apple of your cheeks with his knuckles, brushing in a circular motion. “Love them, it’s okay.”

The pressure you’re exerting on his fingers makes him furrow his eyebrows. “You’re okay with that?”

“If he makes you happy then I’m okay with that, yes. If he is the one that will make you believe in love again, then yes.” And his shoulders shrug, not as a way to say that he doesn’t care about your feelings because he does—everyone how much he cares for you. “I just want you to be happy.”

“Then make me happy.”

There it is again.

The implication that makes his eyes dart his focus from your heavy eyelids to the small gap between your lips. It travels down to your joined hands that lay next to your plump lips. He loves it. The sight of your hands, intertwining beautifully between his and the way that you’re holding him close to you as if his presence is a gift—if only he knew how much you treasure him.

“Get some sleep okay?” Ignoring it once more by throwing his eyes to his lap.

By some miracle, Sunwoo manages to break free from your hands but not before he wipes away the leftover final drops from your doe eyes. He didn’t completely leave your side just yet though. Sunwoo just sinks his right forearm on the edge of his bed, his left on top before resting his chin later on. His eyes blinked and he held the momentary darkness for a few seconds longer before opening them again. You understand, nodding defeatedly. With Sunwoo looking over you, admiring you even though he’s much more exhausted after running around your house with an energetic child, you were able to finally slumber off to sleep. He only thought about standing when heard your drowsy breathing becoming soft snores. Even then, his hand snakes behind your nape and under all your strands, pulling your luscious locks up to hang over his pillow and leaving the cold air to cool your exposed skin.

“I love you.”

And that’s when Cupid made up his mind.

The first thing that greets you when the flock of birds chirps too loudly for your liking is the gutting feeling of wanting to run down to the toilet bowl and empty the contents of your stomach. The second thing that hits you is the desert down your throat, your hand blindly rummaging on the bedside table to find the familiar shape of your water bottle. The third thing that hits you is the remnants of a tight non-existent band that wraps around your head.

It’s all a good potion to remind yourself never to drink so much liquor in such a short period.

But the fourth thing that hits you as you rise to a sitting position, thumb and pointer running up horizontally across your eyebrows, is the familiar room that isn’t yours. It takes you a while to notice but you recognise the one familiar arcade teddy bear on the very unorganised study table on the opposite of the room. The picture framed your scowl while the owner of the room held his phone up, tongue sticking out to the camera with the little peace sign above your head.

“Shit…how the heck did I get here?” Your bed hair becomes a bird's nest in a matter of seconds. “Wait so last night I went to the convenience store,” tracing your steps carefully, “drank at the beach…” but a blank after that, “Sunwoo must've picked me up.” The dread hits at the name you just spoke, “I’m not ready to face him!”

The blanket is ripped out from your lower body, and the drop in temperature sends goosebumps all over your body. Quite simply, you're embodying the term of waking up on the wrong side of the bed without its metaphorical meaning.

There was no point in peeking through the slit between the door and the frame of Sunwoo’s bedroom because you knew directly on the other side is a wall with framed pictures of the family who resides there. You ready yourself with an inhale through your nose, preparing a bunch of words despite the still evident headache before exhaling through your mouth.

The smell of batter and vanilla becomes more evident as soon as your hand creaks the door open. It excites you knowing that your favourite breakfast isn't too far away from reach. The smile that you gave though, reminds you of the pressing matters when it strikes pain through the veins on the side of your head.

Your exclamation to the feeling is what rips Sunwoo out of his daydream, turning around to see you tiptoeing not too far behind him like a thief.

“You're awake.”

Beside him, a tower of the perfectly circular cooked batter is stacked in five, maple syrup around the rim of the treat as it drops down naturally onto the rest of its friends below. You could tell that he probably timed each side with how uniform the colours of each side were. Sunwoo hasn't picked up the panic behind your eyes, setting the plate on the island between you both.

“Take this first.” He pops the white pill from its aluminium seal and reaches for the full glass of water he prepared earlier from the fridge.

Sunwoo didn't know that his proud smile would fall as quickly as you almost did when you stepped back. His feet rooted themselves to the slippery wood underneath, his eyes widening even though you managed to grab hold of the backrest of the couch next to you.

“Are you alri—”

“I should take my leave now.” You rushed to say, “My mum must be wondering where I am.”

“I told her last night, don't worry.”

Right. Just like all the times he has done whenever you fell asleep on his shoulder while watching anime with him.

“Eat something first and I'll drop you home.” His head tilted to the alluring warm cakes on the table.

The perfect cylinder on his hand would have slipped from his sweaty palms with how you shake your head in the slightest. Now he's picking up something. Do you remember the events from last night? No, you've always been a forgetful one and he would help you remember by setting up cues and would always have his camera facing you to record the horror creeping up your face.

Whatever it is, he felt the need to take the lead first, especially with how you're avoiding even looking his way and sitting down on the board of the furniture from before, your hands gripping the polyester beside your body. He's not too far away from you, maybe a metre apart but he's feeling anxious with the air himself, turning away from you momentarily.

You hear the exhausted exhale from your best friend and that made you scared to even look his way. The rim of the glass hits the marbled top. “I'm not going to do anything to you, you know?”

“Of course I know…” Keeping your emotions at bay.

“Then?”

Cupid raised both his eyebrows, hoping that you would be able to find the courage to rightfully confront Sunwoo for the feelings in your heart. His hands clamp together, lacing together as he rests his forehead on the knuckle of his thumb, silently encouraging the growth of the couple in front of him.

“I know that it’s my fault too that I didn’t speak up about the date with Jaemin. I should’ve been more honest to him first and foremost because he’s done nothing but nice to me and yes! The date was really nice and he was a gentleman like you said Sunwoo but,” the implications of the last word wipes the proud smile that he had, lips pursed to a thin line, “I wish that you didn’t put me on the spot especially when you know that I’m scared of being around men.”

There was no audible answer that he could truly give you. What you said is true and he hates that he projected to hide his feelings for you in the worst possible way. He left you alone at night, in the hands of someone that he can’t fully tell your mother honestly that he knows. The shake of his head is slow but harsh and with a glance, you could hear the cogs turning inside the distraught boy’s head.

“I’m sorry.” Wavering in fear.

“Please don’t be.” He responds. “I’m sorry.”

Despite shutting his eyes, Sunwoo feels the looming shadow that falls over his slumped figure against the tabletop. His hands join together, a loud clap making you jump a little bit at the force of his thoughts. You watch as his hands drain the blood flow, slowly making his fist white. And though your chest hurts from the anxiety running through your veins, you decided that it was best for you to clear the awkward air.

What you did is beyond anyone’s imagination but it felt right as compared to last night—as compared to all those times two years ago. Your fingers cradle the underside of Sunwoo’s jawline, separating his chin from his chest and angle his shocked face to yours. Sunwoo would’ve genuinely run away usually, maybe even letting out one of those screeches that would leave you scolding him for the pounding of your eardrums, but something else is pounding in both of your chests and it’s syncing with each other for the first time.

You move little by little, your toes slowly moving in so that you can stand between his slightly open legs until the sides of your knees are between his. Slowly, the anterior side of his forearms starts to lift from the surface behind him, testing the waters to hold you in his arms by ghosting his already encircled arm around your middle. When you nod, Sunwoo finds himself tightening the hold immediately, pulling you into the crook of his neck while your fingers thread on the loose white of his fabric. His fingers widen their reach, wanting to feel your figure on a wider surface area.

“I’m in love with you.”

It’s such a simple line.

It wasn’t extravagant nor was it unique or poetic, yet you find yourself wanting to record it so that you could play it back whenever and wherever.

“I know you’re scared.” He affirms to your growing whimpers. “But I want to continue to love you if you’ll let me.”

Now it’s official. There was no buildup to the streams down your cheeks but you still let yourself indulge in the pent-up frustration over your lack of trust for the boy who is holding you like you’re the most precious thing in the whole world.

“If our friendship is going to end and you'll never look my way ever again, then at least please let me hold you a little bit longer.”

You wish you could at least have enough strength to throw some punches on his chest but you’re breathless in both the way your throat begs for air and in the way Sunwoo nudges the tip of his nose to a sensitive part of your neck. The same area grows colder without any effort and it takes you less than a second to realise that Sunwoo is crying himself.

“Why are you crying?” You ask as best as you can through your tears.

“Because you’re crying.” He simply answers. “It hurts me that you’ve gone through so much.” Sunwoo’s lips shudder, taking in small breaths himself. “But I’m really proud of you.”

“You say that all the time.”

Sunwoo chuckles, acknowledging the times he did say it. “And I’ll never get tired of saying it.”

Cupid relaxes his shoulders when you both slightly pull away, tender eyes looking upon each other with a wide grin appearing on you both but he could tell you both are trying your best to not look away, wanting to live in the love that the other shared in the moment. He was about to flap his wings, thinking that it was enough eavesdropping for today but you quickly pressed a light pucker to Sunwoo’s left cheek. Then to his right. Then to his philtrum. He couldn’t help but cover his eyes at your daring act but what made him push back further to the corner of the room to give you space were your words.

“Cross the line, Sunwoo.”

Sunwoo grips your waist, groaning against your lips and he’s momentarily still until you swipe the crease forming on his forehead and whisper a variation of assuring words. That’s all it takes for Sunwoo to finally close the gap between you both. It’s no longer a metre, sixty or thirty centimetres, not with the way his hands roam all over your body, needing more confirmation that you’re the one kissing him. His hands slide from your waist, gently to cup both of your bottoms, pushing you up closer to him. It elicits a soft gasp from you but Sunwoo pulls on your bottom lip to connect you back to him. Your dazed eyes met his dark ones and he took this time to swipe his wet muscle across the teeth mark to soothe the pain.

Feverish for affection, your zooms towards his lips once more, locking the plumper ones between yours before pulling away with a soft hum and engulfing the other one to give it the same amount of love. Sunwoo’s heart melts at the way you lightly tug on his scalp, the other hand sliding down along his nape and resting your palm on his collarbone. What makes him crazy is the vertical swipes that you give on his defined collarbones. He parts the kiss, pushing himself off the edge of the table and lifts you there, trapping your body with his palm on either side of your body.

“Bubs.”

“You okay?”

“More than okay.” Sunwoo chuckles, devouring your lips once more. “Can I kiss you somewhere else?” As soon as the confirmation is given, a warm hand wraps on the back of your neck and Sunwoo starts to alternate the pressure from his open mouth on the side of your neck, starting to mark you his.

The black strands of his hair swallow every part of your gripping hold on him but he smirks against your skin with the little pretty sounds dripping from your lips.

“S-Sunwoo.” Realising now that he’s painting you on a visible area. “My mum and brother are going to see.”

It’s not that you’re embarrassed by him—never him—you’re just shy at the new colour that he places on you, completely unfazed by what others think.

Possessive Kim Sunwoo—you could live with that.

“Can I pull the hoodie down a bit then?” Sunwoo pants against your skin, rough and slightly out of breath. “Only if you want it.” And he made sure you’re comfortable with whatever it’s going to be with how he wipes the forming sweat on your upper spine.

You spent what it feels like a minute holding his gaze to you. “I trust you.”

And he’s back to creating a masterpiece on your skin. Three of his fingers hook on the neckline and expose the body part that he wants to place his hungry lips on next. He watches the way your collarbones become more visible when you deeply inhale and he waits for your next breath patiently. When it does come, you slightly throw your head back at the pleasure of his soft nimbles. Sunwoo didn’t even want to spend a second away from you, his hand pushing on your lower back to press him up against you more. Your mewls are what motivate him more, pushing him just a bit more to finish the work in progress that he has in his head, pivoting his lower lip to a different angle and pressing the final press on you.

You release a breath you didn’t even know you held and Sunwoo frowns at the way you limp your upper body onto him, arms around his shoulder for support.

“S-Sorry, I didn’t mean to do it that hard.”

Your hair ruffles against his when you shake your head. “Don’t be, I enjoyed it.”

Again, the room is filled with light chuckles once more, your dangling legs kicking the air at the shared moment together. Slowly but surely, the sweat evaporates from your face but your blush is still very evident. But before you become too shy and run away once again, you respond to his words that made you both cry in each other’s safety.

“I love you too, Kim Sunwoo.” Sunwoo’s hand that has been running up and down your back stops, wondering if he heard the right words. You turn to the vein on his neck, kissing along the line until the shell of his ear. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

Sunwoo’s heart combusted at that and he only buries his heating face into your shoulder, making you giggle even more. His whole body is on cloud nine and he’s truly the luckiest person in the world to receive such words from you.

“I want to look at you.” He says before pulling away once more, hands planted next to your thighs once more.

Sunwoo’s slender fingers tucked your strands behind your ears, squishing your cheeks in between and said a relay of sweet nothings. Even though his eye smile is mostly on you, occasional glances were being stolen somewhere else. Knowingly, your finger pulls the cloth down and you watch the shift of mischievousness start to leave.

“Is it pretty?”

The adjective is an understatement. Of course, he wanted to say ‘yes’ because it’s his art that he’s proud of. He's the one who put the distinct heart shape there, his teeth mark slowly fading on the tip of the heart where he pivoted before and the remnants of him still slightly shine on your skin thanks to the overhanging light.

“You’re prettier.” Quickly stealing a peck from your lips to silence your shy complaints. “Be mine?”

“Valentine’s Day passed, Woo.”

“Be mine for life then.”

Oh, Kim Sunwoo really does have a way with his words.

“Plus, I’m glad that we didn’t become official yesterday.” Shrugging when you tilt your head, still with that cute smile of yours. “Now we don’t have to spend our Anniversary and Valentine’s Day on the same day. More mandatory days to spend with you.”

A light shove on his chest is what you respond with but your other hand already had a grip on the lower hem of his shirt. Sunwoo almost stumbled when you pulled him back, enveloping your lips with his.

“Thank you for never giving up on me,” Hands cradling your jaw, yours doing the same and you make sure your feelings are known, “I love you so much.”

“I love you more.”

Guess Cupid changed his arrow’s trajectory much to Sunwoo’s content.

Or maybe, it’s not really his doing after all.

Truth is, Cupid never shot an arrow in Kim Sunwoo’s way.

In reality, Cupid actually shot his chance to Na Jaemin and him only—but even he has made a wrong guess. The trust and hope that you and Sunwoo share are unmatched compared to the lovesick eyes that he has matched people with.

“A love that’s greater than my powers…” Though defeated and his self-confidence took a bit of a downfall, how truly upset can he be when he sees you and Sunwoo just embracing each other, body to body, close and loving each other just the way you both are?

He’s glad of his decision to shoot that second arrow to the other boy after you both fell asleep last night.

“Now that’s a mistake that I can live with.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 'especially to you...' tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿@heemingyu @cupidjyu

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blossominghunnie · 9 months

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halaboyz · 3 years

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–– SMILE // SEUNGYOUN.

pairing: bf! seungyoun x fem! reader genre: fluff, a tad of angst word count: 1.9k warnings // notes: profanities, slurs (!!!), severe bullying, no more that i know of ;; based on a scene of this k-drama + no romanticizing of bullying !! seungyoun is not the bully here, the people around you are!

You’re not a loner– no. In fact, you’re one of the popular ones, as your friends describe you.

“You’re perfect.” Eunji nudges your side, “Pretty, smart, every guy’s dreams. I don’t know why you still don’t get why you’re popular.” She chuckles, taking a bite of her own food.

And apparently, every girl hated you for being you.

You’re not perfect, not anywhere near it. Everybody thought you were, and if there was a word to describe being more perfect, you, once again, were envied by everyone when you got the Cho Seungyoun as your boyfriend.

As much as he swept you off your feet, he did with others.

Just like that, everyone found another reason to hate you.

“Seungyoun’s just as perfect as you,” Eunji, once again, sighs, “Handsome, sings, funny, raps, producer, dances– I mean, what the fuck is his limit?” She plops down beside you, “Just the perfect one for you.” She winks, earning her a giggle from you.

You stare at your desk, full of permanent writings of slut, attention whore, gold digger, and every slur you could think of was there. Eunji sighs at you, taking an alcohol off her bag to spill in your desk and try to wipe them off.

“Stop,” You grab her wrist, smiling at her. “It’s okay. I'll just ask for a new desk later,” Eunji rolls her eyes, her hands landing on her hips.

“You fucking assholes,” She shouts, making all eyes whip on her. “If I caught you doing one of the most despicable things to y/n, I won’t hesitate to rip your heads off,” Her eyebrows are enough to make everyone gulp and look down, she finally takes her seat.

You smile at her to show gratitude, smiling as you look once again at your desk, reading each and every word there is as Eunji, for the nth time, just sighed at you, knowing that she can’t stop you.

So sneakily, she had contacted Seungyoun about it and had left it in his hands during your break.

Your eyes wandered around for Eunji during your break, softly bringing your things back to your bag. A pout comes across your face when you don’t see her, your eyes trudging back to the empty desk but yet full of remorse toward you.

You jump when suddenly a cloth covers your desk, followed by various lunchboxes full of homemade meals.

You lightly look up with a small smile– enough to show your gratitude to the man, Seungyoun. A smile was already spread across his face– the smile that made your world a little more bearable.

“y/n,” Seungyoun mumbles, taking a seat beside you. “You’re staring a little too much today,” He brushes your hair back, scrunching his nose to chuckle at you. “Let’s eat?” He raises two pairs of chopsticks, poking his cheeks with it.

You chuckle, taking the other chopstick to start eating. You didn’t know who or what you saved your last life, but you are very thankful for your past self to have gotten people like Eunji and Seungyoun in your life today.

Though you felt really guilty, you can’t do anything about it. And though you can’t quite understand it– why you’re getting all the hate, when you’re only living the life a normal person should, again, you can’t do anything about it.

“I love you,” Without thinking much, you watch Seungyoun munch on his food with all the love in your eyes. Seungyoun gives you a small laugh, smiling at you with his cheeks puffed.

“I love you too,” He purses his lips, “Now eat.” Then kissed your forehead.

There was no doubt you loved Seungyoun’s smile above everything else. It made your life brighter, easier, bearable and it made you forget all the awful things the people around you do.

“Eunji,” You mumble, taking her attention from her notes. “Thank you,” Eunji stops with what she’s doing, looking back at you.

“You don’t have to thank me for anything, y/n.” She smiles at you, then reaches for your hand to caress. “I am your friend, it’s only right I protect you from those who hurt you,” She winks, making you giggle. “Don’t even think of apologizing. I don’t want to hear that,”

“Okay, I love you,” She screeches and wriggles in her place, cringing as you watch her with a big smile.

“Oh! I won’t be around on lunch. I've got some errands to do for prof Yoo,” She looks at you worriedly, “I told Seungyoun already but he said he’ll be late for a few minutes to cram for his quiz. Will you be okay?”

“Of course. I can’t always count on you, guys,” You smile at her, giving her a nod to reassure her. “Make sure you’re going to eat after though,” You look at her expectantly, grabbing your wallet to head to the canteen.

She gives you a nod and leaps out of the room to start her errands.

You lowly head to the canteen, all of the eyes either glaring or sympathetic stares given to you. You just simply got your tray of food, heading to a lone table on the side of the canteen.

You pick on your foods, still feeling the stares boring to your soul as you shift uncomfortably on your seat.

On your peripheral vision, you saw a group of girls from your class around the corner of a post whispering to each other, probably planning something to tick you off– by words.

It wouldn’t occur to you they’d go through so much to show they hated you and your guts– just because they liked Seungyoun too. Then why don’t you fight with yourselves?

You scoffed to yourself, finally taking a spoonful of your food.

You jump at the sudden liquid splattering at your side, widening your eyes as you stared at Seungyoun who just blocked the cartons of milk which meant to be thrown at you– with a big smile on his face.

You tear up at the sight of milk dripping on his hair and his sides, your mouth slightly agape from what just happened. You continuously blink, making tears escape from your eyes as you begrudgingly trail your eyes to the group of girls who clearly have shock written on their faces.

“You got some on you here,” Seungyoun gives you his infamous gummy smile, wiping the bits of milk that got to your cheek and arm. He winks at you as he takes his own food, ears blocked off all the gasps and whispers coming from those who had seen everything.

You quietly stared at him as you let the tears come out, an exasperated sigh coming out of your lips.

“Seungyoun,” You mutter out, your eyes dropping to your now cold food.

He hums in disagreement in a response, shaking his head as he scrunched his nose at you.

“Eat first. Let’s talk later. Alright?” He gives you another reassuring smile, wiping your tears away.

You bite your lips to stop your sighs and tears, starting to pick on your foods as you watch Seungyoun munch in his cheerfully.

You hand him a sweater of his you had always kept in your lockers, tailing him to his room.

“Are you going to watch me change?” He chuckles at the tense atmosphere, unbuttoning his shirt.

“You’re going to change here?” Your eyes wandered around the room, empty, but open. “Let me get you a wet towel first, stay here.” You give him a small smile, grabbing your handkerchief and heading to the washroom.

You wet the cloth in your hands, the pouring water reflecting your insides. You stop on your tracks staring at the flowing water, a surge of emotions running through you.

And before you know it, you were sobbing in front of the tap, seeing yourself so desperate and weak in the mirror.

Your sobs continue for minutes, only after that do you remember Seungyoun was probably now feeling sticky in his shirt drenched in milk. You immediately stop your sobs, washing your face and though you looked puffed, you did nothing to hide it.

About to step out of the washroom, you see Seungyoun jerk up from leaning in the wall, likely listening to your cries of hopelessness.

You stared at him with your red eyes, furrowing your eyebrows. He just gives you a small smile, walking closer to you.

“Help me change?” He cranes his neck, pulling you back to the room and not even sparing you a second to answer.

He takes off his shirt almost hardly, the shirt sticking to his back.

Once he took it off, his back facing you, you had started to wipe his shoulders and back. Seungyoun just sighs at the coldness the damp cloth gave his bareback, while you rethought of all the things Seungyoun has done for you.

Like– what just happened earlier, even though something that harsh was a first, there were a lot subtler things Seungyoun and Eunji have done for you.

Undoubtedly, you had started to tear up again so you harshly sniff, wiping your tears away.

Seungyoun sighs and puts his hoodie on, facing you with a frown on his face.

“y/n,” He mumbles, cupping your face. You pressed your palm on your eyes, stopping yourself from seeing eye to eye with Seungyoun.

“Should we just.. break up?” You stop him from saying more, your eyes blinded by the lights as you continue to wipe it.

“No, no, no, honey,” He sighs once again, tearing up himself. He pulls you into a hug, caressing your hair as he presses his lips on your temple.

Certainly, Seungyoun’s presence instantly calmed you down.

“y/n, look at me,” He pulls away and cups your face, kissing your temple. “I'm okay, we’re okay.”

“We’re not okay. You’re not okay and this,” Your hands flap around, “This is not okay.” You breathe out, running your hands through your hair.

“Then we’ll let them get what they deserve.” He winks at you, and you only give him a sigh. “I'll let them have it. We’ve been reporting these for weeks so it’s time I take matters to my hands,” You raise your eyebrows, trying to see if he was indeed serious. “And maybe with Eunji’s help,” He adds, and you finally understand what he meant.

“Seungyoun, I'm being serious here,” You furrow your eyebrows, hiccups coming out of your mouth from all the sobbing.

“I'm serious too,” He defended, his voice a pitch higher. “And maybe I told Eunji about it already too, so..” He bites his lips and raises his eyebrows, eyeing you. “If you want to see the commotion in your room now.. it’s not too late,”

You chuckle at the sudden offer, a smile spreading across your face as you take his reached-out hand.

As you watch from the back of the room the group of girls shudders at the immense and scary aura Eunji gave in front of them, “Didn’t i tell you just yesterday that if I catch you doing something impeccably despicable to y/n, I'm going to rip your heads off?” She smirks. “So who do I start with?”

Your smile grows wider, knowing that Eunji’s words were empty, yet were still good enough to scare people off.

A hand engulfs yours and once again, you felt your life being brought to light as you looked at Seungyoun smiling before you.

“I'm so sorry I even thought of breaking up,” You mumble, staring lovingly at your partner.

“It’s okay,” He breathes out, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I just want you to be open with me, alright? Never keep things from me, either Eunji.”

“I love you,” Your other hand caresses atop his hands, smiling.

“I love you too,” He mumbles, hugging your side as your eyes go back to the room where Eunji already has his eyes on the both of you, winking.

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bigkpopstan · 4 years

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Asfghjk another Seungyoun prompt: non-Au. Reader and Seungyoun are dating. Until then they thought they were lowkey enough and under the radar but then they realize that dispatch has been following them for days. Idk maybe angst and/or fluff?

angst. gender neutral reader.

Not So Lowkey - Cho Seungyoun

You were having a good week. Seungyoun and you have been doing a lot lately since his schedule cleared up and you wanted to spend a lot of time together before his schedule gets hectic again.

It just so happened that most of your plans included going out, in public; which meant no pda. Not even holding hands, because to the public, you’re just friends. That didn’t necessarily make anything less enjoyable, you love every second you spend with him.

For the longest time you thought you guys were good at acting, thought you kept it on the down low enough for no one to notice. Apparently not, Seungyoun himself is a good actor, but apparently he unconsciously lets his guard down around you. You guys had noticed someone following you around all day.

The atmosphere had definitely dropped, you immediately getting uncomfortable and overthinking. Seungyoun getting annoyed, because what the fuck, it’s one of his days off; can’t he just be left alone?

You guys decided to call it in early, because this person wouldn’t stop following you all day, you both got uncomfortable even more so when you noticed they had been taking pictures.

Needless to say, you both had become very irritable because of today’s events. You could practically cut the tension and stress with a knife. Seungyoun’s jaw clenching and unclenching every couple seconds.

You guys left the situation untouched, so you decided to try again the next day. But guess what? You were being followed again. So like the day before, turned in early without talking about it. You decided to try again one last time. Guess what? The same as before.

This time when you got home...it didn’t go down as well. Seungyoun was annoyed-no closer to pissed. For many reasons, he was just trying to have a good week, hanging out with you, but no, it has to be ruined. By invasion of privacy, lack of consent when it comes to the pictures and probably your relationship being exposed without being ready for it.

“Seungyoun we have to talk about it.” You sighed, turning around to face him as he walked into the kitchen. You were staring at his back, you could hear him blow air out of his nose as he began rummaging through the kitchen.

Seungyoun’s back muscles tensed as he tossed things around in the kitchen looking for something, probably just bored or stalling; finding something to do. “What’s there to talk about?” Seungyoun scoffed closing the cabinet he was going through, turning to face you. Resting his hands on the counter behind him with a slouch. You rolled your eyes, of course, it wasn’t his fault, you guys weren’t fighting, what could there be to possibly be to talk about.

Seungyoun and his fucking stubbornness, why does he have to be like this? He has to be so difficult when he gets annoyed or angry every single time, why does he have to do this?

“Seungyoun. We have to talk about it. Just because it was something we couldn’t control or do ourselves doesn’t mean this won’t affect us.” You stood up straight, staring at Seungyoun. Seungyoun rolled his eyes, adjusting his weight slightly.

“I still don’t think there’s anything to talk about. I don’t see how some pictures could possibly affect us. So what?” Seungyoun practically growled out, shrugging his shoulders before crossing his arms over his chest, staring right back at you. You began to pace slowly, breathing out heavily.

“What do you mean you ‘don’t see how some pictures could possibly affect us’ it could expose our whole relationship!” You paused your pacing, closing your eyes bringing your fingers to the bridge of your nose. Seungyoun stood up straight, keeping his arms crossed with a breathy chuckle.

“You don’t want to tell the world about our relationship? Are you embarrassed of me or something?” Seungyoun spat, this is probably the most defensive you’ve ever heard him speak before. You sighed scrunching your face up even more. “Do you not want to be with me anymore or something?” Seungyoun adjusted his gaze from you even though you weren’t looking at him, you could practically see him baring his teeth, wether it’s on purpose or not.

“That’s not the problem. You know that’s not the problem. I don’t know,” You sighed again opening your eyes, looking at him. He’s making you so mad but the look on his face is so dumb, it’s cute. “I don’t know why you’re being so sensitive-no, self conscious right now. You know I love you.” It was Seungyoun’s turn to scrunch his face, turning his head and staring in one spot, not looking at you anymore. You exasperated in disbelief.

“Then why does it matter if the pictures get posted? Or a rumor goes around that we’re dating, when we actually are. Wouldn’t it be worse if they thought we were dating other people?” Seungyoun questioned, his words a little mumbled without the aggressiveness leaving. You watched Seungyoun swallow, as you shook your head.

“Again that’s not the problem. I’m not ready for our relationship to be public.” You spoke. You guys haven’t talked about the publicity of your relationship since you guys were in the early stages of it. Seungyoun shook his head, looking down at his foot as he moved it around randomly before looking up at you, making eye contact.

“And if I am? What if I’m ready to make it public,” Seungyoun looked to his left for a second before making eye contact again. “or more than ready.” You watched Seungyoun drag his tongue across his lips as he waited to see your reaction. You took in a shaky inhale, moving your arms to mimic his; crossed over your chest.

“Since when we were you ready? When were you going to tell me?” You were in absolute disbelief, how long has he wanted to tell everyone about your relationship? Has this been causing a strain on your relationship or his feelings for you without you even noticing? Seungyoun shrugged again, running a hand through his hair before putting it back over his chest again. “I...I’m not ready Seungyoun.” You sighed out, emotions finally showing through your words.

“We’ve been dating for months now, and you’re not ready?” It was Seungyoun’s turn to be in disbelief. “When will you be ready? I want everyone to know about us. And you don’t.”

“I didn’t say that-“

“Do you want to breakup or something?” Seungyoun’s putting up walls, so quickly-he’s never gotten this defensive or self protective during a fight before. Bewildered you took a step back, shaking your head frantically.

“Of course i don’t want to breakup why would-“ Seungyoun cut you off again. This is right behind his stubbornness on a list a bad qualities, but you still love those about him. Despite those qualities being frustrating.

“Then figure out what you want. If not now then when do you want to reveal our relationship? I want to go public. I want to go public so bad. You not wanting to makes it seem like you’re embarrassed by me or something.” Seungyoun rubbed just face, avoiding eye contact again. You brought both of your hands up to the sides of your head, gripping out of frustration.

“I don’t know.” Your voice was soft, barely audible, breathy as you felt tears welling in your eyes. Seungyoun nodded, looking at the ground, poking his tongue against the inside of his cheek.

“Then you better figure it out.” Seungyoun was stern, before turning on his heels and walking into the bedroom, closing the door behind himself; you staring at his back until he disappeared behind the door.

You guys will work this out. Won’t you? You’ve never had a fight this bad...but you’ll work it out. Won’t you?

#cho seungyoun #cho seungyoun angst #x reader #woodz #woodz angst #uniq seungyoun #uniq luizy

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thirsty-x1 · 4 years

Text

I’m Here For You | X1′s Hyung Line

Request:

might be a weird timing to request this but, i wanna request a angst/fluff for hyung line where they get stress because of situation happening now and you (as their best friend) are here to cheer them up?

↬ Pairing: Hyung Line x One Its.

↬ Genre: Angst, Fluff.

↬ Warnings: mental health stuff?

↬ Word Count: 2.5k

As soon as you saw the message on the group chat, you made a mental note to be there. It was going to be a stressful day for them, you were sure of it, but at the same time you wanted to give them their own space. After all, the discussion was about the group itself and you were just their best friend but not a member. A day had passed since the news came out and it was hard to get into the building without being noticed, but the staff helped you out and finally you were in the dorms, after all they knew that all of them needed support right now.

Your heartbeat was starting to hurt your chest, the anxiety filling you as the managers told you how each of them were dealing with it. It was impossible to not get mixed feelings, something between sadness and anger invading you.

It might have been the first time you felt such coldness in the dorm: all of them were scattered around the building, mostly locked in their rooms. You decided to go to Seungwoo first, knowing he might be beating himself up for the whole situation. And you weren’t wrong: he was on his bed, surrounded by complete darkness except for the few candles that dimly lit the room and the light of his cellphone as he stared into the screen intently. When you got closer he suddenly looked up, giving you a sad smile before scooting a little bit to a side so that you would sit down next to him.

The heavy eye bags under his eyes showed how tired he was, probably lacking sleep, and his bottom lip was hurt from him biting on it while fidgeting with his phone. You looked over his shoulder and saw the comments, all negative ones after another, blaming him. With a slow sigh, you covered the phone screen and put it aside, Seungwoo’s eyes shutting close as he let you, hugging his knees to his chest and hiding his face. There wasn’t much to say as you rubbed soft caresses onto his back, feeling the sobs he let out, giving him time until he was ready to speak.

“I didn’t know… I thought… I was so scared… I wanted to escape and so I went out and I just…” Each word was interrupted by his voice breaking. “They are right, I was so selfish… Everyone was feeling the same way yet I turned my back on them and now I can’t even look them in the eye.”

“It’s not your fault.” He sobbed even harder, shaking his head. “It isn’t. You are the leader, yes, but you can’t see the future and there are things that are out of your control. Everyone is hurting and they are trying to point fingers at whatever they can, but you are not to blame.”

“I know but I can’t… I can’t stop feeling like I should have done more, insisted more. I called the agency and told them we all wanted to take part in the meeting but they ended up dismissing us… I should have gone there anyway, the rest all trusted in me and I let them down.” Unlike his usual attitude, the words started spilling one after another, his tears drying as he felt a wave of frustration wash over.

“You did all you could, just like the rest of them. The members don’t blame you, and neither do your true fans, don’t read the comments that are filled with haters and people with too much pain to think objectively.” Your fingers softly typed on the screen, looking for the positive comments. “See? Look how many people love you for who you are and how many of them understand you. Read these ones, gain strength from their love and join your members, don’t isolate yourself just to beat yourself down. You can walk slowly when the pressure is too much to handle.”

His eyes scanned the multiple comments, some making him smile and even let out a small giggle whenever there was a funny video. He was more at ease, you could notice it, but it wasn’t going to be simple to recover from the hit.

“Thank you. I’ll try to… stay stronger.”

“You already are, Seungwoo.” His lips pressed into a thin line, before nodding softly. “I’ll be here if you need me, and the members will too. You are not alone.”

When you were sure he was a little better, you got up, flicking the lights on as a slight remember, and he let out a small thank you. You had to breathe in slowly, calming yourself before heading at the studio. The door was unlocked, as usual, so you got in, a soft, sad beat welcoming you and a Seungyoun with his face covered by the hat he was wearing. He didn’t seem to hear you through the headphones he had on, despite the music playing on the speakers, so you pocked his shoulder and he flinched a bit, looking at you disorientated before calming and giving you a warm smile.

“I was wondering when you were going to come around~” He moved on the chair, spinning a few times. “Therapy friendship?”

You nodded at his silly remark. “So how are you coping?”

“I’m not.” He lowered his gaze a bit, biting the inside of his cheek. “I want to bring them all up but the situation is affecting me a little too much as well, so… it’s hard.”

As you laid back on the desk, he started playing with his cap. “You are listening to the last recordings, right?”

“Mhmm. I worked really hard on new songs… even took into consideration each of their styles, making them my family…” His eyes looked at the screen a bit glossy. “I’m a bit tired of trying. I could just keep producing.” Suddenly he stood up, turning the lights off and sprawling on the couch behind, covering his face again with the hat. “I really am tired.”

“Why did you start with all this?”

He thought about it for a few seconds. “I wanted my music to reach people. To help someone.”

“Have you thought about all the people that it already reached? All of those that you have already helped?” His silence was enough answer, the knot in his throat tightening as he swallowed. “You are growing, Seungyoun.” You sat next to him, playing with his hair. “You are doing a great job, you know? No need to worry… Get some rest, I’ll be here.”

The beat of the song playing matched his breathing, his face still covered, his hands over his chest as you continued caressing him. When you heard him snoring lightly, you tried to hold back a giggle, getting up carefully without waking him up, whispering a soft “good night” as you left the room.

Low murmurs coming from the hallway caught your attention, your feet dragging there as you recognized Wooseok’s slightly deep voice. He was talking with the staff, a frustrated look on his face, his eyes wide opened as he pointed at his phone over and over again.

“I called at least five times and no one picked up, all of the boys wanted to be in the meeting, this isn’t what we wanted and it definitely isn’t what we want now either.” The staff tried to calm him, putting excuses but his frustration was over the roof. Eventually, he walked away, greeting you on his way while signaling you to follow him.

“They didn’t listen to you either?” The response was obvious, but you didn’t know how to start the conversation otherwise. He put his hands on his hips, closing his eyes for a bit and pouting as he furrowed his brows.

“I’m mostly afraid about the younger ones… this being their first experience… it’s simply not fair. And there are comments even criticizing and blaming the members…” It was obvious that there was something else that was worrying him, his eyes wavering and never making eye contact with you despite that being his most definable characteristic.

“What else are you afraid of?” Your question seemed to catch him off guard, his head dropping low.

“I was thinking that…” He bit his lips once. “I don’t want to be alone again. I want to… keep feeling loved, like until now. I don’t want to go back to that dark place.” Wooseok gave you a small smile before shaking his head. “Sorry, I just–”

You held his hand, intertwining your fingers with his. “You will get through this, like you always do. You are so much stronger than before, Wooseok, we both know that. And…” Your grip tightened. “I will never let go of your hand, neither will them. I promise, yes? Trust me, trust us.”

If he said anything now, his voice would expose him, so he chose to simply nod, affection clear in his eyes as he pressed back on your hand as a way to confirm the promise. You stayed like that for a few seconds, letting him recharge before his phone started ringing and he apologized whilst taking the call.

Just as you were going to take a break, you heard a few stomps and saw Yohan walking angrily from one side to another, opening all the cupboards while repeating “spicy ramen” a hundredth times under his breath. You walked up to him, squatting and reaching deep behind one of the lower cupboards and getting him what he was looking for.

“How did you..? Did Hangyul hide it there?” You nodded, remembering how the last week Hangyul had tried to hide every single piece of spicy food in order to avoid Yohan making him eat it. “Thank you, I need to calm down and this thing will do for now.”

You sat on the kitchen counter, watching him prepare the ramen. “You are mad?” He nodded, waiting for the water to boil. “Why?”

“The fans.” His patience was running low, staring at the water as if that would help make it faster. “They have all been waiting for us and we can’t return anything to them – why is this taking so long – although we promised.” He tapped his fingers, his skin starting to turn slightly red. “Everything is ruined…”

His shoulders were tense, so you put your hands on them, pressing a bit before pushing him so that he would sit down. At first he was going to complain, but he had no strength, so he simply stared at you continuing to cook the noodles.

“Catch your breath.” His ears perked up at your words. “Don’t try to rush things, it will be worse. Give it some time so that things will settle down, let them come to you.” You poured the hot water on the cup, mixing it until the ramen started to soften. “I will keep being by your side each step you give, so there is no need to run.”

As you placed the cup on the table, he contemplated the steam, thinking about what you just said. “That’s right… I should work hard and get back with them slowly…” He smiled proud of himself as you nodded, eating some of the noodles and burning his tongue. “Ah! I should try to contact them in some kind of way… I’m not fond of people having my number but that might come in handy this time.”

You giggled at the way his eyes shined when unlocking the screen, changing his background picture in his kakao and standing proud, grabbing the cup as he said he was going to practice his handwriting for a moment.

Not even a second later, all the younger members entered the kitchen walking in a line, their expressions a little bit down while Hangyul was at the end, taking in the atmosphere and wondering how he could lighten it up a little. His eyes found comfort in yours, a silent deal made in the exact moment. Both of you distracted the kids, cooking a few things and putting on a movie. You scanned the room, all of them cuddling close to each other, none of them really paying attention at the images on the screen, but somehow they wanted to get their minds off all the news too. Looking at your side, you saw Hangyul with a serious expression, probably thinking about the same thing as you did. He got up, muttering a slight “I’ll be back soon” before walking out, his back slouched and you couldn’t help but to follow him.

He is resting against the wall on the hallway, right beside the living room, looking up and trying to steady his breathing. You stand up next to him, not saying anything until he rests his head on your shoulder.

“You don’t have to keep it to yourself…” Your whisper was barely audible, but he understood.

“I don’t want to worry them.” Hangyul closed his eyes. “Being with them I felt obligated to keep my feelings on check, but they are so sad… I don’t know what to do.”

“Come a little bit closer.” He did, his muscles tensing and then relaxing when your arms surrounded him. You thought he was going to pull away playfully like he tended to, but this time he accepted it. “You don’t need to comfort yourself anymore… You can rely on the others, and on me too.” You pat his back a bit, putting on a dramatic tone. “I’ll be your shoulder to cry on.” His laugh vibrated on the room, and he stood up, smiling sincerely and getting strength.

“I guess I don’t have to carry the burden alone.” A door opened behind you, a messy haired Seungyoun coming in. “Besides, it looks like he’s having a much harder time.”

The rest of the guys appeared too and met up in the living room. You stayed on the door frame, smiling while seeing the eleven boys looking at each other awkwardly for a few seconds before starting to giggle, their concerns washing away at least for a few seconds when the older ones started to act goofy. You were trying your best to burn the image in your memory until they called you, rushing you to take a picture of all of them together.

This warm feeling, the tears and the laughs meeting half way… You don’t want to miss it. It’s painful, yes, but that just proves how real and meaningful it is. You want to tell them more things, but they already know. They know that you will be there for them, and you know they will be there for you too. You trust them, and they trust you.

We’ll be there for you.

Of course I cried with this. Maybe it’s a little bit late but I wanted to tell them those things, both to X1 and to you guys as well.

~Nani

| Masterlist |

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lovelyjunho · 5 years

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[2:32pm] I stepped inside the dorm and saw seungwoo, wooseok and hangyul sitting in the living room. as soon as they noticed my presence all three of them stood up and looked over at me, “is he still in his studio?” I asked approaching them. all three of them nodded as seungwoo spoke up, “he’s been in there since 4 in the morning”. “okay, I’ll try and talk to him” I said walking into seungyoun and hangyul’s shared room to the studio door. I knocked and spoke quietly “seungyoun, can you let me in?”. the door unlocked and opened a tiny bit, I stepped inside and took a seat on the chair behind him. “what’s on your mind seungyoun?” I asked knowing that this was a distraction for him when something has been eating him up. he sighed before turning to me and grabbing my wrist to pull me onto his lap so I could share an earbud with him. he pressed play and an unfamiliar song rang through my ears. the lyrics he sung were about feeling weak, and needing a break but not wanting to disappoint the people who depend on you. I felt seungyoun rest his head on my shoulder and heard him sniffle once. after the track stopped playing I turned to face seungyoun and held his face in my hands, “cho seungyoun, I am your best friend. you can always, always come to me when you’re feeling worn out okay?” I said softly smiling at him. “okay...” he replied trying to smile back at me. I pulled him in for a hug and he reciprocated my actions, pressing his cheek against my shoulder. “I love you seungie” I said pressing my cheek to his head, “I love you too” he replied.

#cho seungyoun #cho seungyoun imagines #cho seungyoun blurbs #cho seungyoun scenarios #cho seungyoun soft hours #cho seungyoun angst #x1 drabbles #x1 scenarios #x1 blurbs #x1 imagines

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sanfl0werrr · 2 years

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[12:11]

“i’m sorry,” seungyoun confessed as tears stained his face, his hands cupping your face, “i’m really sorry.”

you had your forehead against his, momentarily closing your eyes to gather your thoughts as you sniffed through his apologies.

you laughed a little, looking at his stained face while tearing up, “but it’s not your fault. it wasn’t your fault in the first place.”

he breathed a heavy sigh, “i know.. i’m just-“

there was a sudden pause in between his words and all he was looking at was you. all he was thinking about was you at this moment. he felt apologetic throughout it all despite having you on his mind all day.

he felt he couldn’t voiced it out properly and all he wanted was for you to be assured of him, and his feelings especially.

“i like you too much to see you like this,” seungyoun confessed once more, “and i’m a fool for not noticing in the first place.”

“i’m a fool!” he lightly slaps his head and chuckled, tears still evident in his eyes.

and you laughed together with him, trying to assure him at the same time.

“and i’m sorry too,” you cried out softly, “i let my emotions get the better of me.”

“and you’re no mind reader so you can’t exactly tell when i’m okay and when i’m not and that’s totally fine, seungyoun.”

you wiped his tears away, softly brushing away his hair strands from his face and admiring the handsome view before you as you smiled at him.

“i think i like you too much too,” you suddenly confessed as you stare into his eyes, “i can’t seem to get away from you.”

he chuckled in glee and pulled you in tightly for a hug, your body landing on top of his on the sofa.

he jokes around, still embracing you in his arms, “once you fall, you can never get out!”

you laughed heartily and joked back, “then keep me imprisoned in your heart.”

and all of a sudden, his gaze on you turned serious and the laughters subsided. your eyes widen at the immediate change.

seungyoun smiled at you without saying anything, his affection for you gradually increasing by the second. he wanted nothing more then, but for the time to stop, so he’d get to spend his forever with you.

“you had me wrapped around your fingers since the moment we met,” he caressed your cheeks softly, “so i think it’s more appropriate for you to keep me imprisoned in you heart.”

you laughed out loud, tears forming in your eyes as you lay against his chest, “so we just have to keep being imprisoned in both our hearts?”

“that’s the idea.”

you laughed once more, “you already have me with you, seungyoun.”

“and you have me as well, always.”

#spotify #x1 #uniq #cho seungyoun #x1 seungyoun #x1 seungyoun scenarios #x1 seungyoun imagines #uniq seungyoun #uniq seungyoun scenarios #uniq seungyoun imagines #woodz #woodz scenarios #woodz imagines #fluff #slight angst

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shuichi-sama · 3 years

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Loving you is a sacrifice *working tittle*

inspired by: love me harder- woodz , sacrifice- seungwoo.

pairings: street racer!seungyoun x reader, street racer!seungwoo x reader.

warnings: drugs use, needles, emotional abuse, depression, smut?, blood, more tba, etc.

Summary: You're relationship with Seungyoun was toxic, anyone could see that, but you stayed. he was your comfort. you fell for all his lies, the i love you's, the compliments, the promises he made of never leaving , you couldn't help but believe them all. you loved him and you were sure he loved you in his own way. but when you catch the eye of street racer!Seungwoo, Seungyoun long time rival, he wants nothing more than for you to let him show you the kind of love you are truly missing out on and deserve.

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mileyjassie · 3 years

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(𝑺𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒊𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒚) 𝗕𝗟𝗨𝗘! 𝗖.𝗦𝗬

Pairing: Cho Seungyoun (Woodz) x Reader

Genre: Angst / Drama/ Suspicious happy ending

Word count: 2.4K

Synopsis: You wanted a little more of red from him, but he was only blue, and behind the purple light you find the red half he tries so much to hide.

Author's note: It can look confusing but it's more simple than you think, they're kind of into his mind, he's not really 100% mental healthy and she wants too much from him, more than what he can actually offer. Inspired on his "Love Me Harder" MV and "EQUAL" album songs (the changes of you/your to he/his might look confusing I know)

You made me blue. Day after day, a little bit more blue.

So explain to me, what does this mean for both of us?

I met you early, I needed you.

Close. Close. Close.

You hid me yourself, you hid yourself from me perfectly, never, I never found out how well you hid from me.

I pay attention again, I remembered that space again, that purple place.

I went to you, hugging you without thinking. You hugged me back, of course, snuggled up to me. It was gradually, little by little that I realized that you were hiding from me.

"Do not touch me." I didn't hear you say it with your own mouth, but you did, I heard it from somewhere outside, I heard it from somewhere inside, very close to my ear, but too far away to hear it perfectly.

Your disgusted voice, your voice low and agonized.

"Take your hands off me."

"I hate being touched. Get away."

"Leave me alone, Get out! Get out! Get out!"

I looked at you more than scared, my hands leaving your arms with hurt, I was shocked, you didn't say anything to me, but that was what I really felt.

You loved me, yes, it was true.

"Take your hands off me."

You looked at me more than confused, even more confused than me when I let go of you with frowning brows.

"What happened?" You said to me with your hand outstretched, not understanding the contrast of humor.

"Why do you think this?" I asked in a harmless voice, approaching his silhouette and squeezing his arms. "What's going on? Why do you think that way?"

"What you mean?" He asked confused and without explanations coming from me, not understanding why I was looking at him like that. "For what reason you let go of me this way?"

"I heard your voice, I heard it inside you, asking me not to touch you, do you feel disgust of me?"

You froze, as if it was shocking to hear a truth that you were already fully aware of.

"I'm not disgusted of you, I love you, how could I be disgusted of you?"

I looked at your expressions carefully, you hid, you hid something from me, but you weren't lying to me.

It was a mistake to show him that I was aware of his secrets. I should have closed my eyes, kept quiet, but I didn't, I wanted to force you to tell me the truth, I forced you to tell me about a problem that was only yours. But I just wanted to help. I wanted to take a burden off of you, without realizing that only you could carry it.

It was inside those purple curtains, in that small place, behind it I saw what you were hiding. A warm, small room, without much light, showing the bloody tone of the room. Red.

Once... I saw your eyes that color.

If you knew I was there...you would be so mad at me.

He was trapped by the arms so I released that young man.

I let you go.

A very, very familiar stranger.

His smile was sharp, intimidating, cunning and smug. Long ginger hair, expressive eyebrows, reddish and dark eyelids.

"Have you been crying?" I murmured to him, his thin, narrow eyes searching for me with amusement.

"Angel, why do you think that? ..."

I dry swallowed, proceeding.

"Because your eyes are red."

He smiled to himself, delighting in a satisfaction that I could never understand what it was about.

"I don't cry, honey, I don't keep enough space inside me for such feeling ..." he said serenely, as he walked unhurriedly through the dark corners of the room, analyzing me with purposeful walks. "Not even for pleasure."

I followed him with my eyes, clenching my fists, knowing I couldn't be there any longer.

"Now that I have released you leave my beloved alone, as you make him suffer internally and is taking him away from me."

His reaction was kind of surprised, impressed for some reason.

"So, now is everything my fault?" He leaned over dramatically, placing his fingerprints on his chest, finding a cane next to his silhouette, left on the wall beside him. "Naive."

I furrowed my eyebrows, staring at him with discomfort, as he went around and around and still didn't feel like I was in conversation.

"I was stuck here, if you didn't notice ..." he Ironized without much malice, ceasing his walks. "What power would a prisoner have?"

I turned to face him, thanking silently for his lack of approach.

"I deduce that if you heard something before you came after me, it came from him, and from no one else ..."

I shook my head, not accepting to be carried away by the perverse lines of the man in front of me, but he did not care, he played with one of his eyebrows, approaching with a few steps, hitting the end of his cane on the floor without much force.

"Did your lover disappoint you?" He hummed, but I stopped him in seconds.

"He wouldn't do that." The answer made him smile again, proving me he have a superior aura that I would never achieve.

"Of course he would ..." he retorted with a nod, waiting for my reaction with a lazy pose.

"Why?"

"Because he is sad."

I parted my lips, swallowing my words in shock, dispersed in my own mind.

Seungyoun was sad?

Those were words that hit me like fire, my chest tightening in an unfamiliar feeling, perhaps more intense than simple concern. I heard him snap his tongue, an expression of disdain already stamped on his initially cynical face.

"Stop this." He said in a disgusted tone, an almost angry sound. His treatment almost refreshed my memory, yet it was different, different from when he had been disgusted with me before. "You remind me of him."

I looked up, remaining silent.

"You are not as surprised as you are pretending to be in front of me now ..." he approached it bluntly this time, brushing the tip of my hair with the top of his fingers. "You are as sad as he is, you know that. That's why you hurt him as much as he does to you."

He swirled my strands in his fingers, raising his eyes to mine again, forcing himself to absentmindedly walk away.

"Pitiful."

I pressed my lips together, looking around, not knowing which choice to do.

"So what do I do now?" I watched him walk away, without listening to me. "If you have no fault, what do I do to purify my love? What do I do for him not get disgusted of me?"

His shoulders lifted minimally, my comment seeming to immediately pique his interest.

"What exactly are you asking me for, cutie?" He turned slightly, his reddened lids darkening in my sight. "Tell me exactly in the right way."

"I want him not to be disgusted of m-"

"You can't cure a paranoid" he smiled roguishly, tipping his head along with the slight inclination of his tall body. "...honey."

I looked at the door, giving him one last look before striding towards it, feeling the cold, long fingers sink into the skin of my forearm, preventing me from leaving him with that one act.

"What you're looking for I can give you and it will not be difficult."

I raised my face to analyze his face with curiosity, the lines of his malicious expression attracting the attention of my pupils, my eyes strolling over his provocative details shamelessly, forgetting the ardent spirit that inhabited that being.

"What you want is still him. I know that, you can't hide anything from me ..." he spoke in a low tone, taking the strands of my hair out of my sight. "You want him, don't you?" He lowered his face, joking as he noticed the clear tension exhaling from my body. "In a sick way ..."

"How can you say something like that?"

"Yeah, I know." He raised his eyebrows as he closed his eyes, cocking his head to the side convincingly. "I know what you want from him, and I know he will never give you... but I can work it out."

I watched his grip soften on my arm, letting go and making a slight gesture of surrender.

"How?"

That Seungyoun smiled pleasantly, extending his wide white palm to me. I looked at him suspiciously, pulling the corner of my lips in disdain.

"We're not friends."

His smile did not fall apart though.

"We could never be." He said softly, insisting on letting his hand hang in the air. "Under no circumstances."

"For you what would we be, then?" I asked uncomfortable, not surprised by the continued presence of entertainment on his face.

"For real?" He let out a faint laugh, opening his palms in false innocence. "At most I could be your other lover..." he stood up, tall and straight, looking at me from above. "But that's only if you wanted to. What is not the case ... or is it?" He walked around me, leaning back, his cheeky face finding mine to just mock my discomfort again.

"Whether I'm attracted to you or not is not enough." I mumbled through clenched teeth. "I love only one."

He sighed, quietly and without a laugh, clasping his hands on my shoulders, his warmth present behind me. I stopped right there, not afraid of him, but of what he chose or not to do.

"I know that."

...

You were in front of me, looking at me with deep disappointment, not knowing whether to fall or remain standing. You staggered and murmured things that I couldn't understand, smiles rising and falling between my blinks.

Nearby watching you suffer your crises I remained, the room only with you and me, the sight of the purple curtains behind your body hiding the room that one day kept your secret.

I did not approach your body, but I remained uneasy, watching you reject yourself several times without knowing what I could do to relieve some of your pain.

When you fell to the floor, you lowered your head in weariness, wet hair hiding your face.

I went to you, falling on my knees to hold your neck in my warm hands. "Dear?"

Your smile widened when your head fell back in satisfaction, a large, contented smile, however profoundly wicked.

You were with me, warm and hot. But what about your other self? Your really you, where were?

"Seungyoun."

"My pleasure, honey. It wasn't that bad, huh?" His reddened and amused eyes greeted me, laughing with my astonishment.

"What did you do?" I removed my hands from his neck, being prevented from moving away, his hands gripping my wrists and pulling me back, our bodies close enough for him to enjoy, dropping a fake kiss near my face.

"You still blame me so much." He let go of me, looking away slyly. "If he's not here, it's because he does not want to."

I dry swallowed.

"What?..."

His body relaxed, sitting calmly, without guilt, without worries.

"Can't you hear it?"

I turned away, looking at him with distress.

"Your fault"

"It's your fault."

"You know it."

"He despises you. He thinks you have betrayed him." He waved his hand, disinterested. "Which I think is funny, really."

"I shouldn't have done that. You tricked me."

Seungyoun rolled his eyes, shrugging.

"I didn't tricked you, I promised the sickly love you asked me for, you could have it in the dirtiest ways possible, I would be there to make it happen ..." He explained, laying his head on his shoulder, following me with sharp eyes when I got up euphoric. "It's not my fault if he chose not to stay ..." He laughed maliciously, his shoulders rising and falling again and again.

I hid my face in my hands, closing my eyes tightly.

"Go away! I don't want to be with you, I regret it."

"Regret?" Hhhe asked doubtfully, a serious, almost moral tone coming from his throat.

I remained silent, listening to him shout at me.

"Say you regret it!"

"Of course I regret it!" I turned around, already seeing him standing, approaching frighteningly fast in heavy steps.

"Tell me to go away then! Do it now if you want! Come on! Tell me!" He yelled loudly, shaking me frantically.

It was not an angry tone, but he wasn't pretending tho too.

"Get out! Don't touch me! I don't like being touched! Let me go!" I replied euphorically, trying to let go of his hands, my eyes closed with all my strength. "Take your hands off of me!"

I kept responding in agony, still feeling his hands.

"Leave me alone, Get out! Get out! Get out!"

When I opened my eyes, I saw your sad look staring at me with distress. You were back, as if nothing had happened.

"Are you disgusted of me?" You asked in a wistful tone, your eyes narrowing, your eyebrows squeezing. "Is that what you think of me?"

I stammered, not knowing how to fix this.

"I'm not disgusted of you, I love you, how could I be disgusted of you?"

Seungyoun looked down, moving away.

"Then why did you say those things?"

I went to him, hugging him.

"I don't know. Just ..." I held my breath, running my hands through his hair. "Pretend it never happened, my love..."

Seungyoun returned the hug, squeezing me into his body.

I was able to hear his voices again.

Repeating the same things.

I hugged him tighter.

I didn't react.

I pretended to not hear.

To not know.

That was his own problem, which I could not possibly opine. And I hoped he was doing the same for me.

I'M A PARANOID

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thotforcsy · 1 year

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runaway baby

(♡) fandom: x1, pdx (♡) pairing: seungyoun/hangyul (♡) rating: teen+ (♡) 30,629 words (♡) complete (3/3)

Lee Hangyul is the most beautiful boy Seungyoun has ever met. It's a shame he can't talk to him without embarrassing himself in approximately twenty different ways before fleeing the scene.

Fortunately, his alter-ego, Spiderman, doesn't suffer the same fate.

link

#seungyul #c: cho seungyoun #c: lee hangyul #x1 #pdx #x1 fic #s: seungyul #pseud: flying_dream #jasmine's pdx fics #ao3 link #spiderman au #humour #light angst #uni au

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blazing-nymph · 3 years

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Slow burning sparks // Cho Seungyoun

▪️Words: 7.3k

▪️Genre: ANGST; FLUFF

“Wait up, will you!?” you heard a scream chasing you as you almost tripped over your feet trying to climb the stairs to the small café entrance. You stopped right before entering, allowing the footsteps behind you to catch up. The man stopped right at the bottom of the stairs panting heavily. He shoot you a comedically irritated glare as you chuckled out loud.

“For someone who’s working out, you don’t have so much stamina Seungyoun”

“Yah! We’ve been basically running ever since the bus stop! Where did you get that much energy from anyway?!” he half screamed, half whined back at you, still trying to catch his breath.

“It’s… a special occasion today” you smiled to yourself, avoiding his eyes.

“Like you’ve never met the guys before, c’mon y/n” he exhaled as he climbed the steps. He stood there for a second and observed you from head to toe. He smiled softly at you.

“What, is there something wrong with my face?” you cupped your cheeks with your hands. He snickered for a second. Instead of answering your question, he just reached for your face slowly, making you think he was going to fix something, only for him to quickly ruffle your hair playfully, messing it a little bit.

“Gotcha!” he yelled, violently opened the door to the café as he tried to escape from your late realization that your hair was now somehow ruined.

“What the- !!! YA, CHO SEUNGYOUN” you chased him inside.

Walking in, your eyes frantically tried to find Seungyoun, so you could punch him a little bit before he had found his friends. A loud yelp from your right side guided your eyes to a table with two men trying to catch a third trying to hide behind them. You scoffed as you walked towards them.

“Hey y/n!” one of them greeted you.

“Nice hair!” the other one snickered.

“Thanks, I’ve spent like thirty minutes trying to style it, but someone thought it needed some liftoff.” You growled at a fake-shocked faced Seungyoun.

“Fuck off” you barked back at him as he laughed.

“Well, you did say it was a special occasion today, so I thought I’d help a bit” he smiled curiously at you, his tone encouraging the other two men to join him in the teasing.

“Ohhh, what’s the occasion y/n??”

“Sadly, for you I’m off limits~” the other one sang.

“Very funny, very funny” you just brushed them off, sitting down next to Seungyoun.

“You never told me about it though, what is it today” he rested his head on his hand. Aside from his teasing, he did indeed notice how you were dressed and acted a bit differently from all the other times you met with his friends. Either way, you did look stunning. It was just that, you had a different energy around you this time. He observed that your cheeks had a noticeably light dusting of pink on them. Your eyes were fidgeting, constantly staring over at the café’s counter. There was a male barista making coffee for a couple. He did not know him personally, but you were a regular at that café. Seungyoun remembered about how you were always talking about the guy from the café. You and he were somehow friends from what he understood. It was fun to hear you rambling on and on about this man at first. Seungyoun would make fun of you lightly whenever you sounded overexcited when talking about the barista. That is when your attention had mostly shifted from him to that guy, that he found it somewhat irritating. He had suspected that you might have the hots for him and himself being your friend, he should be proud of you and cheer you on. And he tried for the most part. But after a while, he found himself pouting and getting annoyed whenever he tried to hang out, but you were always by the café hanging with the guy.

He looked back at you. Your eyes sparkled like a little kid’s when the barista realized you were there. He waved at you and you waved back at him. He made you a signal about something and you giggled. There was it again. The irritation. He clicked his tongue while taking a last glance at you before turning to chat with his friends.

You chatted a little bit about this and that, the atmosphere was relaxed and full of laughter. After a while, the barista made his way over to your table, holding a tablet.

“I see you guys are here today as well!” he smiled at you and the rest of the table.

“What can I say, we love this café man!” one of Seungyoun’s friends replied.

“Haha I’m glad I hear that!” he let out a hearty laugh. “So, what can I get you guys?”

“XX isn’t around today?” you wondered.

“Nah, I told her to take the day off, she has something to uhm, attend to later this evening” he awkwardly scratched his head.

“Ah, I see… but isn’t is hard to manage everything all by yourself all day? You could’ve called me. You know I can always help out!” you pouted back at him. He just laughed while placing his hand atop of your head, gently patting it. Seungyoun eyes glared at the gesture but he was quick to joke about it.

“Yah, how comes you always bicker at me when I do that but it’s okay for him to do it??” he jokingly cried.

“That’s because I’m special” he joked.

“Please don’t get ahead of yourself~” you mocked. Everyone burst out laughing. Everyone except for two people that is. Seungyoun was putting on a facade, just to go along with everything but his laugh quickly went to a halt as he saw your reaction. You lowered your head, trying to hide those rosy cheeks of yours away from the barista’s sight. There was that feeling again. Annoyance.

“So, y/n, what will you order?” Seungyoun was quick to change the subject.

“Oh yeah right, I…I’ll have a latte please”

“Two americano and one flat white for the rest of us!” Seungyoun chirped.

“Coming right up!” the barista smiled, walking towards his counter.

Time passed so quickly with everyone, talking on and on about random subjects, news, and gossip. It was thirty minutes before the actual closing time of the café and your table was the second from the last two tables people still sat. One of Seungyoun’s friends glanced outside as it was getting darker and darker.

“Man, its near closing time. But I still have so much to talk about!” he cried.

“Then how about we continue at a karaoke place or go for beers?” the other one replied.

“I’m so down for that!” the first one cheered. “Seungyoun, y/n, you’re coming right?!”

Seungyoun glanced over at you while you glanced back at him. You both chuckled to each other.

“I’m down for it as well” Seungyoun exhaled. “How about you?”

“I think I can join~” you answered skeptically. The other two cheered.

“But first” you glance over at the counter. He is still there. You took a deep breath. You were going to tell him tonight. What was the point of postponing it?

“First I have something very important to do…” you whispered softly.

“What did you say y/n?” one of Seungyoun’s friends asked.

“I-I said I have to go to the restroom first!” you blushed, sitting up.

“You don’t need to fix anything y/n, you’re pretty as is~” Seungyoun sang teasingly. You shot him a glare before turning around to move towards the counter.

That is when the café’s entrance doorbell rang. Surely no one was going to come and have coffee this late and right before the shop’s closing time, right? You looked at the entrance curiously. You saw XX entering the café. She was all dolled up and cute. She approached the cashier with blushing cheeks, her eyes full of sparkles. But you felt your heart clench. You have seen that kind of blushing and sparkles before. You knew them all too well. You tried to take a few steps forward before one sentence made you root your feet to the ground.

“YY ah! How long should I wait for you? Hmm? You were supposed to meet me at the movies half an hour ago!” she cried cutely at the black-haired boy. He chuckled softly, putting his hand on top of her head, petting her tenderly.

“I know, I’m really sorry but the boss hasn’t come yet, so I couldn’t leave the store. Forgive me?” he gently smiled back.

You kept watching in silence. You could not move; your legs did not obey. You wanted to stop watching but your eyes stayed glued towards them. You felt your heart dropping to the floor. You felt it shatter in millions of pieces.

“Y/n, how long are you gonna stand there? Go to the restroom so we can leaveee” one of Seungyoun’s friends cried. Seungyoun turned his head towards you, curious as to why you were still there. He saw the girl and the barista. Then he looked at you. His eyes quickly darted back to the cashier. Then it hit him like a truck. Oh no. He looked back at your figure. He could only see your back, but he did not need you to face him to understand what you were feeling that moment. His heart tightened sharply. What should I do?

You turned back to the table in a rush. You picked up your phone and your jacket, while taking out your wallet, taking everyone by surprise.

“Y/n what are you-“

“I’m sorry, I just remembered I have something very important to do at home” you excused yourself. “Here’s my share for today, have fun at the karaoke” you said, leaving money on the table.

“Seungyoun said you were free today though!”

“Yeah, sorry, I just remembered I have some assignments that I need to finish before the deadline”

“That sucks…”

“I’ll make up for it next time” you smiled back at them. Seungyoun looked at your face. Your smile was painful. Your eyes were not smiling. His inner voice was screaming at him to do something. But he did not know what.

“Y/n…” he mumbled, as he tried to touch your hand. You avoided his hand swiftly. You looked back at him apologetically.

“I’m sorry Seungyoun, maybe another time” you exhaled before taking off.

All three men watched as you stormed off the café within seconds. YY and XX turned their heads at the sound of the front door closing with violence. YY searched the room, his eyes landing on your table, seeing that you were no longer there. After a few seconds he made his way over.

“Y/n left? I thought you guys were going to keep the night going?” he wondered. Seungyoun’s eyes were still glued to the door across the room. He somehow felt so hopeless.

“She said she had forgotten some project that was due, so she had to leave” Seungyoun’s friends exclaimed.

“Ah that’s a shame” he huffed. Before he could even continue his sentence, Seungyoun shoot up from the table, leaving 20000won behind. He almost bumped to YY as he walked past him toward the exit.

“Let’s go!” he barked to his friends as they quickly followed suit behind him. “Wait, you left more money that needed!” YY yelled at Seungyoun. All of his instincts were railing him up to go over to the guy and punch him in the face. Instead, he just took a deep breath.

“Keep the change” replied sharply without even looking him in the eyes before he crossed the doorframe.

You woke up with a headache. It was still exceedingly early in the morning; the sun had barely risen. You tried to open your eyes, facing some difficulty at first. All you remembered from last evening was that it was awful. You did not even want to remember, yet the same picture kept popping inside your mind. You exhaled in defeat, pushing a pillow over your face. The thought that maybe a hot bath would help relax popped up in your head, so you dragged your body from the bedroom all the way to the bathroom door. You did not even bother to turn on the lights. You stared at the mirror on your wall. The lighting was dim, but you just knew that you looked like shit. You opened the hot water inside the tub. Letting your shirt fall to the ground, you slowly submitted yourself inside the water. It felt good. Like it was able to wash away all the memories from the previous day. You closed your eyes, submerging you head under water. Ah. It felt so good. All sounds around you blurred. It was peaceful for a moment. You reemerged again, already feeling a little lighter. The sunrays were finally peeking through the window.

The water naturally started to get a little cold after half an hour had passed, signaling the end of your bath. You nonchalantly grabbed the body towel from the chair near you. Standing up, you covered yourself up and walked out of the bathroom, heading to your bed. You sat on the edge on it, staring blankly at the wall. As the warmth from the bath was leaving your body, the memories started to flow in again.

“Fuck this” you gulped, trying to control your breathing. This whole situation was not worth your tears. Maybe if you kept repeating this to yourself it could actually work. You reached for your phone under your pillow. You had not checked on it since everything that had happened yesterday. They must had been surprised for sure. The phone screen flickered. Your eyes widened at the number of messages you have received. Most of them being from Seungyoun. You felt so guilty. He must have been worried sick. How could he not? It was so rare for you to storm out of rooms like that. With that kind of crappy excuses on top of that. You knew he could see right through you sometimes. You opened your conversation dialog with him. After several seconds, you started typing.

«…Morning ^^”» You stared at your phone. No way he would be awake this early in the morning, especially after the karaoke. You reached to leave the phone near your pillow again before it vibrated slightly. Your eyes widened in surprise.

« HEY. READ YOUR MESSAGES WOMAN» You chuckled, feeling a bit of guilt.

« ehe~»

«Don’t ehe me! I almost ended up coming over to your place to check on you!»

«That would be trespassing private property sir~» you teased.

«Okay firstly NO ITS FUCKING NOT, secondly HOW DARE YOU :@»

«Okay okay im sorry xD»

«Its fine I guess, since you had a deadline and all. How did it go? Did you finish on time?» you hated to lie to him… But it couldn’t be helped this time.

«Ofc I did! Who did you take me for??»

«That’s my girl! You did seem a bit down yesterday, I guess that was the cause. Now that you’ve finished with everything, how about we do something? Hmm? >:D»

«I don’t trust that smiley >.> What do you have in mind though?»

«No questions. Yes or No?»

«Can’t we even discuss this??»

«No :D»

«UGH. Fine.»

«Hihihi. Get dressed. And meet me at X place in 2 hours <3»

«What are we even going to do this early? I doubt anything is open»

«Just trust me <3»

«Okay~»

Walking towards the open fish market, you spotted a black haired man smiling from ear to ear at you. You jogged to him. There were very few people around at this hour. You looked inside his eyes for answers.

“What… are we doing in front of the fish market this early?” you wondered. Seungyoun chuckled. You kept staring at him, trying to figure out this weird request. He was waiting patiently.

“...”

“I’m sorry, I’m completely clueless.” You stated inanimately.

“C’mon!” he cried. “We’re going on a sightseeing/ food tour!” he chirped excitingly. You blinked twice in confusion.

“Seungyoun.”

“Yes!”

“I’m pretty sure the fish market is not considered sightseeing.”

“We’re not here to observe the fish!” he protested.

“It’s still too early for eating them as well.” You exhaled. He grabbed your head with his hands, turning it to his left. You saw a takeaway coffee shop right across the street.

“Oh” you breathed.

“Thank you.” He exhaled in defeat. His smile quickly crawled back to his face, gesturing you to walk with him.

“We’re gonna start here, then go around the town. I’ve found some interesting places. Since you haven’t been here before, I think you’ll enjoy it~” He sang softly.

“I hope those interesting places involve food” you said, sparkles emitting from your eyes.

“You bet!” he laughed.

It was well over midnight. You entered your bedroom feeling exhausted and so bloated from all the food. You could not believe all you did for the day was basically eating. Seungyoun sure came prepared. It was the first time in your life you had to refuse food. How could you not? You stared down at your belly. Your right hand started caressing it, a comedically dead look in your eyes.

“My food baby…” you burst out laughing. You threw your bag across the room. You eyed the bathroom door, thinking about taking another shower. But you were so tired. On the other hand, you were out all freaking day. The shower was a must.

Few minutes later, you reemerged from inside the bathroom in all you towel glory. You sat on the bed, trying to dry the water off your hair with a towel. Your phone suddenly started ringing out of the blue. Your eyes fell at the direction you had thrown the bag earlier. You managed to trip at the leg of the bed trying to dive for your phone, letting out a painful yelp as you finally grabbed the damned thing. A look of annoyance took over your features as you looked at the caller ID. You shrugged as you pressed the videocall confirmation button.

“Y/nnn!” an incredibly happy Seungyoun purred.

“Are you stalking me? What is this timing?” you breathed out in pain trying to massage your little finger.

“Why do you ask?”

“I just got out of the bath”

“Oh, that’s funny! I just got out of it too!” he smiled sheepishly. “What’s with the face?” he wondered.

“I just hit my little pinky finger at the leg of the bed trying to answer your silly videochat!”

“Hey! How is that my fault?!”

“Today you said that if I don’t answer your messages or calls within a minute, you’ll trick me into eating Durian! I’m sorry but I want to live! Therefore, it’s your fault!” you growled.

“ehe~” he smiled. “Should I come over and make it better?” he teased.

“Nah, if I’ve broken it, I’ll send you the medical bill, thank you very much” you stack out your tongue. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get changed” you remarked.

“Don’t end the call!” he panicked. You raised your eyebrow at him.

“So you want me to undress right in front of you is what you’re saying?” you watched him in amusement.

“IM NOT SAYING THAT, JUST TURN AWAY YOUR PHONE OR SOMETHING-“ you burst out laughing, proceeding to turn away your phone camera.

“I just don’t get you sometimes…Are you that bored?” you snickered as you let the towel fall to the floor, grabbing a pair of underwear from your drawer.

“What if I am?” he whined.

“Did you like today btw?” he genuinely asked. You pushed your head through the shirt, struggling to find the head hole.

“Loved it!” you exclaimed. “Everything was so yummy, we really enjoyed it!!” you sang.

“We?” he questioned. You grabbed the phone from your bed, brought it in front of your stomach while caressing your belly with your other hand.

“We. See my baby?” you sang. He laughed out loud.

“Oh my. Am I the father?” he chuckled.

“I don’t think so…”

“Then who?”

“Remember that last piece of Tobbokki I had?” You both laughed in unison.

“Ughh, god I’m beat” you let your body fall to the bed like a brick. You pulled the covers over your body, your face still visible, as well a part of your torso. You switched off the main room light, leaving only your bedside lamp as the last source of lighting. You watched as Seungyoun got up from his bed to turn off his lights as well. He cutely dived into his bed, crawling back to his spot near the pillows. Your eyes kept wondering inside his room in silence. Meanwhile his were still and focused on one thing. You. You did not notice but he had a faint smile plastered on his face. He observed your features carefully. Your face was so close to the phone. The lighting was not optimal, but he could swear that he could recognize your face so easily in any situation. Each passing second, the longer he starred, the more he could hear his heartbeat though his ears.

“Hey Seungyoun” you mumbled, breaking the silence.

‘What is it?”

“Thanks for today” you smiled tiredly back at him. He did not say anything.

“I think I really needed this to get my mind off of things” you yawned.

“Idiot” he smiled. “Anything for you”

“I’m getting really sleepy, should I end the call?” you pouted.

“No, don’t end it yet. I have a bit of trouble sleeping tonight…” he whispered.

“How are you not as tired as me, you dummy?” you snickered.

“I don’t know…”

“Fine, don’t be mad at me if I fall asleep though” You felt your eyes heavier and heavier with each second passing.

“I would never” he chuckled.

“…”

“…Y/n?” You slightly snored. Seungyoun tried to hold in his laughter trying to not wake you up. Instead of ending the call, he lied comfortable on his pillow, observing your soft facial features as you were drifting away further and further away. The corners of his mouth curled up slightly. He stayed like that for several minutes. He kept wondering about those strange feelings that kept popping up for the last few days. He knew you for so long but there was something changing. He closed his eyes, letting out an audible exhale in defeat.

"... Shit" he whispered to himself.

Days passed quickly one after the other. One particular afternoon, Seungyoun’s friends called. They mentioned a very cozy café the other day, so they thought they would gather up the gang again that weekend to blow off some steam. They always really enjoyed your company. Hell, you were fun to be around. Especially since you were one of the few people that could handle Seungyoun’s hyperactive five-year-old self. It might seemed like a mediocre thing for you, but to them, you were able to somehow tame his wild side whenever you were around. He seemed gentler around you. You took a last look at the mirror hanging on your bedroom wall, slightly adjusting the collar of your blouse. You glanced at your figure one last time.

“Yush” you chirped, cracking a smile. You pocket vibrated lightly. Your eyes shoot at the wall clock.

“Shit! I’m almost late!” you gulped, running out of the door.

You stepped down from the bus. A sudden gust of wind hitting your face. You clenched your coat, shutting it close. The weather had gotten chillier for sure. You took out the phone from your pocket. Before you could dial anything, you heard a voice from the distance, calling out to you.

“Υ/n!” Seungyoun chirped happily, half walking half running to you, while leaving the other two behind. You smiled at him, putting your phone away. His body stopped several inches away from yours. He had that beautiful smile on his face. The kind of smile that put you at ease whenever you saw it.

“Hey” your eyes smiled back at him.

“Your cheeks are red!” he chuckled softly, making you a little self-conscious at the moment.

“It’s the weather, I didn’t think it would be this chilly today” you laughed. “Why aren’t you guys at the café?”

“Well, our Seungyoun here insisted that we come and pick you up first.” One of his friends appeared behind him, giving him a teasing glance. He laughed it off awkwardly.

“Y/n hasn’t been in this area before! Besides it’s just basic manners!” he cried, trying to defend himself.

“Since when do you do manners?!” the other friend cracked up, making you laugh.

“Y/n back me up here!” he pouted at you.

“Fine fine. Thank you so much for being so thoughtful of me~” you sang at him. “Even though, I do have a phone with gps, you know~” you teased.

“So inconsiderate” he scoffed, starting to walk ahead of the rest of you. You cracked a smile with the others.

“Come on! If we don’t go quickly, she’s going to freeze!” he yelled from the front. The other two nodded to each other as they followed him suit. You smiled to yourself before following along.

Upon entering the café, an inviting warmth hit your face. The smell of coffee and chocolate mixed together in the air made your nerves relax. The wooden decorations here and there only added to the fuzzy feeling you felt inside. You picked a place by the window. You knew Seungyoun loved that seat. The other two cramped the opposite seats as you naturally sat next to Seungyoun. You placed your hands between your thighs. He noticed it immediately, shooting you a glance.

“Still cold?” he wondered.

“A little bit, but I’ll warm up to the place soon, don’t worry” you reassured him.

“Alright, tell me if you’re still cold later” he almost scolded you. Oh, how you found that adorable, whenever he did that.

“Yessss” you sang back at him. With the corner of your eye, you caught the waiter making his way to your table, a warm smile on his face.

“Good evening! What can I get you?”

“Two double espresso for us!” Seungyoun’s friends said in unison.

“I’ll have an americano… oh, and a hot latte for her. Make sure it’s piping hot!” he ordered.

“Coming right away!” the waiter bowed and walked away.

“How did you know I wanted a latte?” you wondered.

“You always order a latte y/n!” he laughed. “What, you haven’t noticed?” You titled your head on the side, trying to remember a time when latte wasn’t actually your go to drink.

“Ha…I guess you’re right” you exclaimed in sudden realization. He snickered softly.

The evening unfolded slowly. More people kept walking inside and leaving with each passing minute. This place was surely popular and for particularly good reasons. You saw many couples around. While the boys were having an interesting chat, talking about music and whatnot, your attention shifted to observing the couples around the room in silence. So many different people. So many different combinations. Yet every single one was so endearing to watch. There were younger couples, being all playful with each other. Some others, were more reserved, glancing shyly back at each other. There were some older couples as well. A woman was going on and on about something to her husband, while he was listening to her attentively. In a corner, you spotted an elderly couple. Time seemed to have aged both gracefully. Your fingers hugged the mug of coffee in front of you for warmth. A small endearing smile plastered on your lips. Maybe it was better this way. Maybe you and the barista just were not meant to be. You could not be mad at anyone. It was not anyone’s fault to begin with. Yet you could not help but feel the bitterness eating you up. You were lost in your own little world. Seungyoun noticed the silence, secretly stealing a glance of you. Your smile seemed…out of place. He was sitting right next to you but somehow you seemed distant for a moment.

“Y/n…” he tried to call out for you. The entrance bell completely covered up his voice. The footsteps of two people walked right inside the café. The man’s eyes scanned the room. Then suddenly they widened in surprise, a smile appearing on his face.

“Y/n!!” You heard your name being called out from across the room. Your hands suddenly clenched to the coffee mug upon realizing the source of the voice. You knew that voice all too well. Your eyes quickly dropped to your coffee, trying not to give any weird signs away. Seungyoun’s eyes shot up from you, towards the entrance of the coffee shop. One look at the man and his blood started to boil. He clicked his tongue in irritation as the man made his way to your table.

“Hey, y/n!” the barista called out to you with excitement. Your head turned mechanically towards him, putting on a fake smile.

“Ah YY. Hi” you nodded at him.

“I called you out once I saw you! You didn’t listen?”

“Sorry, no, I guess I didn’t” you lied.

“Meh, it’s fine. What matters is that I spotted you anyway” he laughed. “I see that you guys are hanging together quite often!” he greeted the other three at your table.

“Yeah, we actually do! More often than you think” Seungyoun lowkey growled back at the black haired man as he protectively moved his body closer to yours.

“Ah, I see” the barista exhaled. “Oh shoot, I almost forgot you introduce you guys!” he chirped happily as he moved a little to the side, revealing a petite girl awkwardly standing behind him.

“This is YY! We work at the same coffee shop. Y/n knows her already” he boasted as he took her tiny hand in his reassuringly.

“I-it’s very nice to meet you everyone! Hi y/n!” she bowed down nervously.

“H-hey!” you awkwardly greeted her back.

“Man, it’s really packed in here, isn’t it?” he chuckled nervously, looking around for any spare tables. His eyes suddenly lit up.

“Oh, do you guys mind if we join you until a table clears up?” he asked brightly. Your heart must have stopped beating for a few seconds. Your fingers got cold. You tried hugging the coffee mug for sore warmth, some reassurance but the heat started to fade away beneath your fingertips. Seungyoun shoot a worried look at you. His irritation was hitting a brand new level, it almost took him by surprise as he tried to control his facial expressions.

“Yes of course!” you reassured the standing couple. As they sat down, the girl noticed how your fingers were fidgeting around your coffee mug. She looked at you with worry.

“Y/n… are your hands cold perhaps? I have a heat pack with me if you need it” she wondered.

“No no, it’s fine!” you exclaimed, trying to remove your hands off the table.

“I told you to let me know if you’re cold you idiot-“ Seungyoun’s hand reached for yours quickly. He managed to touch your hand before you brushed him off, putting your hands in between your thighs one again. Your fingers were icy cold.

“…I’m alright Seungyoun, don’t worry” you mumbled at him. Seungyoun frowned slightly at your stubbornness. In his mind he understood. You did not want to look frail in front of the guy. But it was eating him up inside.

The conversation was moving along with time. They boys chattered about random stuff happening in life while you were being attentive but for the most part, quiet. Seungyoun tried to not bring any attention to you as he masterfully manipulated every direct question the guy threw at you to somehow bounce back to him. He sure had a way with people. You were always so grateful to him for that. You were not exactly the extroverted type to begin with. You could tell that he was being extremely cautious with the situation that moment. And while you were more than grateful for what he did, you felt guilty. He was out to have fun with his friends and you. He already had much on his plate with his life as it was. He did not need to put up with this for your shake. The atmosphere around you was getting suffocating.

You reached for your coat next to you and grabbed your phone from the coffee table.

“Υ/n…” Seungyoun gulped, uneasiness evident in his voice.

“Haha, silly me! I completely forgot something important that I need to do!” you nervously laughed at the rest of the group.

“Again?” one of Seungyoun’s friends exclaimed. You just smiled at him apologetically as you stood up from the table.

“Y/n wait, please” Seungyoun pleaded you. You gave him a pained smile.

“I’m sorry Seungyoun…I really need to go” you bowed down to the rest before walking away.

“Wait up! It’s late! Maybe I can drive you home!” the barista suddenly yelled as he made a move to catch up to you. Seungyoun shoot up from his seat, grabbing his hand before he could leave the table. He looked up at him, his eyes blazing.

“I think you’ve done enough” he growled back. He turned to his friends with an apologetic smile.

“Let’s try this again next week, I have something I need to take care of as well.” he exhaled while trying to spot your figure walking outside, further away from the coffee shop.

“…Aish…Just go! We get it!” one of them yelled.

“Don’t make it creepy though!” the other one snickered. Seungyoun just chuckled at his remark before he stormed off the entrance. The barista was left dumbfounded, with a very confused look on his face.

“Did I…do something?” he asked innocently. His girlfriend sighed in defeat.

“How can you be so dense?” she jokingly hit his shoulder.

Seungyoun looked around for you frantically, a smile found its way to his face as soon as he spotted your figure in the distant. His legs naturally raced to you.

“Y/n!!” he yelled from a distance. You stopped dead in your tracks, your head instinctively turning around. Why the hell was he there? He was supposed to be back with the rest. You quickly wiped away the tears threatening to escape your eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to regain your composure. He finally stopped in front of you. You did not know what to say to him. You were out of words.

“What are you doing?” was the only thing that came out of your mouth.

“Following you, obviously” he breathed heavily. “Damn, I really need to start doing more cardio” he exhaled in defeat. You just stared at him, trying to understand his train of thought.

“Why did you leave? You couldn’t wait for our gathering yesterday”

“Ah this… I guess I wasn’t in the mood for coffee as much as I initially thought” he chuckled softly. Without giving you much of an opening to argue anything, he just casually walked past you and followed the road ahead.

“So, where are we going?” he tilts his head in question, his eyes smiling warmly back at you. Your face cracked a small smile, as you hurried to match his pace.

You gulped down the remaining beer from the can in an instant, smashing the can in your hand. Seungyoun watched you in amusement, deciding to follow in your footsteps. A sound of satisfaction left his lips.

“That hit the spot!” he chirped happily.

“Yeah, I have to admit. Beer and night walks by the river are an optimal combination” you exhaled content.

“Give me that” Seungyoun grabbed the crashed beer can from your hand, before rushing to the nearest disposal bin. You watched him jog back and forth, a light bounce apparent in his steps.

“A puppy…” you muttered under your breath. That remark made you chuckle softly, earning a look full of wonder from Seungyoun.

“What?” he asked with an aware face.

“Nothing” you laughed. You rubbed your hands together, bringing them up to your face to blow on them softly.

“Your hands are still cold?”

“Yeah, a bit” you sighed in defeat.

“Hm, I have to start bringing heat packs with me” he exclaimed casually.

“Why would you? I’m the one that should start doing that” you argued.

“Should and will were always two very different words for you y/n” he teased.

“Whatever” you stuck your tongue out at him. He laughed at your cute expression.

“Well for now then-“ Before he could finish his sentence, he reached for your hand with his, gently hugging it and putting it inside his pocket along with his. Your head snapped at him, his gesture finding you completely unprepared. A light pink color rose from your cheeks. He looked back at you with surprise.

“What?” he replied with a straight face. “Ι always hold your hand, why are you acting weird now?” he teased. He did have a point. Why were you blushing like that?

“Put your other hand inside your pocket, you’re actually freezing cold” he stated before he started to walk casually along the path near the banks of the river. You walked for some distance like that. He strangely kept silent the whole time. You had so many thoughts running through your mind, you did not know what to say to make conversation. It was so ridiculous. He was your best friends for a long time, you had never run to any problems like that before.

“…Are you feeling better?” he managed to ask in a moment of silence. You widened your eyes upon hearing him say that. You looked at his face immediately. He wouldn’t know, would he? He still was not looking at you, his eyes observing the path along the way.

“What, how did you-“ you root your feet on the ground, making him stop as well. He glanced back at your face. His eyes looking serious. You did not need him to talk for you to understand.

“Of course, you would know…” you let out a bittersweet chuckle. “Was I that desperately obvious?”

“About him? No…But It was made noticeably clear to me about how you felt that day…” he exhaled. You lowered your head in embarrassment and resentment.

“It’s not your fault, you know that right?” he wanted to reassure you.

“It’s not anyone’s fault Seungyoun, I know… But I can’t help but feel this way right now…” your voice breaking a little. He watched you as you desperately tried to form the right sentences for his words. His heart felt heavier and heavier watching you like that.

“I’m sorry” he chuckled, managing to stop your train of thought midway.

“Eh?” you titled your head.

“If only I had realized sooner…” He mumbled.

“Seungyoun what are you even saying?”

“You’ve always been right in front of me, I just never noticed.”

“…” You moved your face right in front of his, trying to find answers in his eyes. He surely did not act like his self. He finally looked up at your face, your eyes observing him with worry. His hands moved on their own as they reached for your face, cupping your cheeks tenderly, his eyes always glued to yours. His face stopped inches away from yours. He was so dangerously close; you could feel his hot breath hitting your lips. His eyebrows were slightly frowning, like he was trying hard to concentrate on something…or holding himself back. His breathing was uneven, and his lips were trembling a bit. They seemed almost… excited. Your eyes observed his as they wondered down to your lips slowly. For a moment, he swallowed audibly hard, like something was stuck at his throat and he could not breathe. His eyes darted back at yours, almost as if they were pleading for permission. Closing his eyes, he shut the distance between you in a heartbeat. He attacked your lips firmly but so gently at the same time. Your eyes went wide open. He was kissing you. So many thoughts tried to cloud your mind all at once. But his kiss was so overpowering, they seemed like nothing. He was sincere, you could feel it. The feeling was so overwhelming, yet it had a warmth that you had never felt before. You liked that warmth. You realized you craved for it for so long as your eyes closed slowly. The moment Seungyoun felt your lips kissing him back, he inhaled sharply, his whole body tensing up. He broke the kiss soundly, almost as if he tried to control himself from…wanting more. You both breathed heavily. His hands fell to his sides.

"... Can't it be me?..." he exclaimed. Your body stopped moving at the sound of his words, you could hear his heartbeat going faster and faster with each passing second.

"Seungyoun.."

"I like you y/n..." You looked up at his face. His eyes were determined. His gaze was burning right through you.

"Choose me" His words echoed inside your head again and again. You felt your heart skipping beats, pink found its way back to your cheeks as you felt them burning up once again. So warm it felt.

“U-Uhm” you stuttered embarrassingly, trying to escape from his gaze. He found it amusing watching you squirm like that. He certainly had an effect on you for sure. A wave of confidence took over him for a moment. He made a step forward between you two. He daringly pulled your face in front of his once again, this time a smirk plastered all over his.

“Y/n?” he exclaimed.

“Y-yes!” you shut your eyes closed from embarrassment.

“I need an answer” he demanded.

“Y-You can’t expect me to answer that right off the bat!!” you cried in defeat. He let out a chuckle before deciding to let you go off the hook for that night. It was all too much, and he understood that. Just the fact that you gave him the reassurance he needed to continue was more than enough at that moment. He gazed down at your figure lovingly, you were trying to avoid his eyes at all costs.

“You can relax y/n” he laughed.

“I’m sorry I came onto you so unexpectedly” he said as his hand reached on top of your head, ruffling your hair playfully. He kept messing your hair for a good five seconds, waiting for your feisty reaction. But there was silence and nothing more. He removed his hand, a surprise taking over his features to a sudden realization.

“You…You didn’t shake me off!” he exclaimed almost excitingly. You shoot him a glare, pouting cutely before you walked away from him in a hurry, trying to hide your blushing mess of a face.

“Shut up” you yipped back at him. He let out a hearty laugh before taking off again to match your pace.

“Y/n, wait upp~” he sang teasingly, that big beautiful smile plastered all over his face. His voice was music to your ears. You felt a warm tingling, a small flapping of a pair of petal-like wings of a tiny butterfly dancing around inside of you.

"...I wish it was you from the beginning" you whispered under your breath.

Finally! I got this out of my head ;-; It came out waaaay longer than I anticipated but I loved writing every second! ^ω^” Either way, enjoy!!❤️ As always, completed masterlist is here!

103 notes · View notes

strawbwrry · 4 years

Text

fulfilled - cho seungyoun

word count : 6.3k words

includes : cupid!seungyoun, angst, fluff, lotta love, and a whole lot of character development!

@celestial-lasagna hope you enjoy it! - [starlight]

—

The concept of soulmates is a daunting one, the idea of having someone meant for you, somebody perfect for you, somewhere out in the world, is a bit difficult to think about. What happens when Cupid, the man who at the snap of his fingers could pair you up with the love of your life, falls in love himself? Does he give up on her? Or does he risk everything he has just for the possibility to be with her?

—

He snapped his fingers, in just a few moments the pair of women just across the street would begin their journey to a beautiful relation, he watched them walk right into each other, watched as their flushed faces, and fumbling hands struggled to figure out what to do, that was his tenth pairing of the day.

Life was bleak. Even with the exciting task of pairing people with their soulmates whether it be platonic, or romantic, what else was there to it? He himself could never fall in love, he could never tell any one of his friends about his secret, he would never be allowed a family, he could never work. He felt empty.All he does is set people up, walk around town and pair people he knows who fit each other well. With everything he needs being paid off by his superior, there’s nothing left for him to do. He walked around without much purpose, simply putting one foot in front of the other not caring where he ended at the end. As time passed he occasionally paired a few people, used some of the cliches, he could only smile watching each pairing’s small shy smiles and blushing faces as their first meeting occurred, watching a love begin to bloom, and as much as he hated the sense of uselessness he felt being able to do nothing, it did bring him joy watching as each pairing began their slow trek to either romance or friendship. He stared at the couple from a distance, deep within him he felt only a pang of jealousy, “No point in hopeless thinking,” he said to himself, letting his mind wander.

“What if there was a point in hopeless thinking?” He jolted away from the sudden noise beside him, placing his hand over his chest, he turned to look at the woman beside him. He looked her over briefly, beautiful hair, fluttering eyelashes, kind yet mysterious eyes, and a small smile, something deep within him felt wrong, something felt sad, and as much as he hated to do this, he ignored it. “What would the point be then?” He said through a small laugh brought on by the way he had been scared, “It shows you what your not thinking about. If you keep thinking about something you’ll never be able to do, then your ignoring the possibilities of what you could do. If you move past what you can’t do, then you can commence trying to start doing what you can.” He stared into her eyes wondering just what she knew, he felt almost read, like a book left wide open. “I guess you’re right, but how do you move on from pointless thinking and move into thinking with a purpose?” She hummed quietly to herself, fidgeting with her bag a little bit as she tried to think of a proper answer to his question, “You accept it?” She answered with a tone of uncertainty, “You either try and do what you can’t and learn from your mistakes, or accept that whatever you want to be able to do is impossible for you, and try and do or find something else your passionate about...I guess?” He grinned at the woman, “My name is Cho Seungyoun, what’s yours?” She smiled back at him, “I’m [L/N] [Y/N].”

—

“You either try and do what you can’t and learn from your mistakes, or accept that whatever you want to be able to do is impossible for you, and try and do or find something else your passionate about...I guess?” It had been nearly a week and he continued to think about her words over and over again, her voice echoing in his mind.

He paced around his apartment tidying it up, picking up abandoned singular socks, fixing up the pillows resting on his couch, picking up spare papers, placing books back into his bookshelf, then he heard his doorbell ring. Putting down the small laundry bag he’d been carrying around to put his clothes in he walked over to his door and opened it curiously, who’d come around this late at night? As he peered through the crack of his opened door he was shocked to say the least when he saw the women who’s words had been weighing on his mind for nearly a week straight. There [L/N] [Y/N] stood, at his doorstep with a suitcase in hand, and tears streaming down her face, and a scared expression plastered onto he face. “Seungyoun? I’m sorry I’ve been looking for my friend’s apartment and I can’t for the life of my seem to find it, so I decided to ask the owner of the first apartment I saw for help to her apartment, I’m so sorry.” He opened his door fully and invited her in, “Oh no! Don’t worry [Y/N], please come in and have something to eat, you look exhausted from carrying that suitcase.”

—

The room was quiet as he brought in a small plate of snacks for [Y/N], placing it before her, “Are these snacks okay? I wasn’t sure if you’d like them, but I also haven’t gone grocery shopping in a while so I don’t have much.” He stopped briefly feeling awkward before looming at her to ask, “Would you like something to drink?” She smiled picking up some of the snacks laid out on the plate and beginning to eat them as her stomach quietly grumbled, “Can I have water? If it’s not too much of a bother?” He nodded quickly heading back into the kitchen, “Of course not! One glass of water coming right up.” His feet padded against the floor of his kitchen, he continued to think about her words, even as he opened the tap to put water into her cup he could only continue to think about it, he cleared his mind as much as he could and walked back to his table which he sat on the floor across from her, and placed the cup near her, “Thank you!” Her voice chimed as she took a sip and continued to eat. “You’re welcome.” He smiled gently, “If this isn’t too invasive is it okay for me to ask why you’re carrying a suit case with you? And trying to find someone’s apartment at 2 in the morning?” He examined her reaction carefully, watching as her face’s reaction stalled and her smile faltered, it was personal. “I had to get away from someone quickly. I did the first and only thing I could think of and I asked my friend if she’d let me stay with her while I get up off my feet and can find a way to make a stable income. Not to mention find a place to live and make sure I never have to come near the person I’m trying to get away from.” Her eyes landed directly onto his, “The reason I was crying at your doorstep was because I felt as if a man was following me, you can never feel to safe out, especially this late at night.” Seungyoun nodded accordingly, “I will admit I was very shocked to see you at my door step at 2 am, but I’d love to help you find your way to your friends apartment, I’ll walk you there, especially now that you said you felt as if someone was following you.”

“Thank you so much Seungyoun! Once again I’m sorry I dropped in on you but, guess I got lucky huh?” He was taken aback by that statement, “Lucky?” He questioned with a small confused smile. She nodded finishing up the plate of snacks he’d brought her, “I don’t know anything about you besides the fact that your name is Cho Seungyoun, that theres something troubling you, and now, where you live. You let me come into your home, brought me snacks, a glass of water and awkwardly stared at your palms wondering if asking me what was wrong would be too invasive. I could’ve rung some weirdo’s bell, could’ve stumbled right into some kind of danger, but I didn’t. I got lucky.” She paused to finish the stub of water at the bottom of her glass and got up to stretch a bit, “I have her address right here, will you walk me to it?” After a short moment of waiting he instantly stood up and nodded as he began to fiddle with his clothes, he walked over to the desk near his bedroom and picked up his phone and shoved it into his back pocket. “Yeah let’s go.” They walked over to the door way of his house, she sat down on the steps to adjust her shoes, Seungyoun stood near her slipping his feet into his untied converse and beginning to tie his shoelaces quickly, and picked up his keys. She stood up and reached her hand out towards her suitcase only to be stopped by the pale hand belonging to the male besides her, “Don’t worry about it, I’ll take it for you.” She shyly nodded along feeling her face become hot, “Thank you.”

They exited the apartment silently, walking side by side as Seungyoun looked at the address scribbled onto the paper, he took a left turn down the sidewalk, he then heard a sharp inhale coming from his right side and turned to see her as she quickly moved her forearm to wipe her tears away from her eyes. He stared at her and she looked at him and smiled sadly through her tears, “I’m sorry, don’t mind me, I guess I just needed to let everything go.” He sighed and let go of the suitcase placing it down on the floor and opened up his arms, “I could give you a hug if you want.” She silently looked up at him, admiring his face illuminated by the moonlight casting its gentle light upon them in the dark street. Without answering she walked into his arms and rested her head against him, gently gripping at the fabric of his thin cotton shirt as she tried her hardest to weep silently. He wrapped his arms around her and held her, gently keeping her close to him as she let it all out, he could feel her tears wetting his shirt but he didn’t care in the slightest. She trembled against him, and as much as he knew he shouldn’t be doing this, he couldn’t help it.

His eyes wandered onto the figure of a male nearby, he felt dread fill his stomach as he realized a truth that he knew would come, they were meant for each-other. He double checked, triple checked even, but he couldn’t deny what he saw, an amazing match. He felt a pair of eyes look at him, he moved his gaze down to the person wrapped in his arms and smiled, watching as their gaze went shy and she looked away. He giggled to himself and lifted his thumbs up to her face and gently wiped her tears, “Are you ready to continue?” She nodded as she shyly pulled herself away from his arms, he picked up her suitcase and again they began to walk. Seungyoun turned his head to look back at the male just across the street working at the convenience store. “I have to,” he thought to himself as he made the choice to pair them up together, his left hand snapping discreetly at his side.

She silently laughed at herself, earning a baffled stare from Seungyoun, “You must think I’m a strange person, showing up at your door crying, coming in to eat snacks and explain my personal problems, then crying into your shirt at nearly 3am while you’re helping me find my friends apartment. I must’ve looked so pathetic showing up at your door.” She continued laughing quietly, “You met me at a truly low time in my life haven’t you?” He continued walking straight knowing exactly where her friends apartment was, it just so happened to be the same building where a few of his friends lived, he let out a breathy laugh, “I guess I did didn’t I? I don’t think your pathetic. I do think that you’ve been holding all your troubles and misfortunes inside as to try and put a strong face on though. Crying isn’t weak nor pathetic, it’s always been my opinion that people who can express their emotions as needed are some of the most respectable people I’ve known. You’re going to be okay [Y/N], trust me when I say that, and if you want me there I’ll stay by your side and help you along the way.” She smiled to herself as she gently adjusted her hair from being in the way of her face, “I’d love to have you there.”

“This should be it.” Seungyoun said as he stopped right in front of a door, his right hand still lightly gripping the suitcase he’d been carrying for the entirety of the walk from his place to the apartment complex. It was a mere second before he felt her arms wrap around his neck, “Thank you so much for everything.” He hesitated for a few moment, his arms timidly wrapping themselves around her waist. As her grip around his neck loosened his arms began to fall, letting one hand barely ghosting near the left side of her waist. He felt butterflies in his stomach when she leaned in and placed a small kiss on his cheek, she let go and gave a small smile, “I’d give you my phone number but I don’t currently have a phone.” Though his cheeks now red he laughed at her words, his arm falling down to his side then coming back up to run through his hair he looked at her smiling, “Well if you ever need anything you could come to my place, just, not at 2am.” She giggled in response, he found himself laughing along with her, a silent affection beginning to grow deep inside his heart much to his knowledge that this would only ever end badly. “Well I think it’s time for you to wake up your friend, and for me to head back home.” She nodded, “Thank you for everything Seungyoun.” He smiled sadly as he tried not to think of the sad reality, “It’s no problem. Bye [Y/N]!” He began to walk, his hands shoved into his front pockets as he took steady strides, he looked back to see her waving, “Bye Seungyoun!” He smiled and waved before ruffling his hair and shoving his hand back into his front pocket. He turned back just one last time feeling happy to see her friends door open and [Y/N] hug her friend tightly and enter into her apartment. He felt his smile fade from his lips as he let the moment pass.

—

“Are you going to go through with it?” Seungyoun felt a chill come down his back at the sudden noise coming from besides me, “Of course I’m not going to Myungja, do you think I’m that stupid? The only reason I’m still alive is because of this stupid job if you can even call it that,” he stopped in his tracks and turned his head, a small smile placed onto his lips, though it didn’t convey happiness, “I don’t want to drag [Y/N] into this mess Myungja. If I do end up falling in love with her, then you can just kill me right then and there and replace me just like you did with the last when he fell in love. Leave her out of this.” His smile faded, “You know, I only begged you to come back so I could watch over my mom, now that she’s gone I could care less whether I live or die.” The ghostly figure of the woman behind him sighed angrily, “Shouldn’t you be more appreciative that I even gave you the chance to watch over your mom till she died?” Seungyoun scoffed as he kicked small pebbles resting on the sidewalk, “Please I wouldn’t be in this mess if you hadn’t killed me to begin with.” She inhaled sharply who which Seungyoun laughed, “What didn’t think I’d find out? I’m not dumb I know very well where you’re from and what you’ve done. How youve tortured your descendants and prey on men who remind you of your very own lovers from long ago.”

“Not to mention how you terrified your daughters, left then left to brutally kill your husband and his new girlfriend early in the morning. Sure you made me a cupid because I look just like the man who impregnated you then left, cause you wanted to cause me pain, cause I remind you of the daughter that you think caused all your pain, but get over yourself, you never had a soulmate.“

—

Two months of knowing [Y/N], it had been two months of knowing her, and he knew he was falling in love, each moment, whether she came to simply talk about how their weeks have been, or came to cry on his shoulder about her fear of the future, or even if it was her confiding her deepest secrets in him, he loved every second he spent with her. He deeply enjoyed each fluttering moment, the moments he felt incredibly warm at just her touch, all the time he spent admiring her when she was unaware, the moment he’d catch her staring at him, every single moment. This night she just so happened to comeback drunk, a silly smile plastered onto her face as she stumbled, the grip onto her purse loose, Seungyoun watched her walk excitedly in front of him, he had just returned from a small walk to fulfill his daily cupid tasks only to come back to see [Y/N] heading right for his door, she stopped right in front. She took a deep breath then rung on the door, he came from behind her and gently placed his hand on her shoulder as he slid his key into the keyhole and felt her tense up beneath his hand, “Don’t worry [Y/N], it’s just me.” She reached up to grab his hand placed onto her shoulder to throw his arm across her shoulders, “Can I have something to eat Seungyoun?” He laughed smiling at her odd behavior, “Of course, come on go in [Y/N].”

After removing her shoes and laying her bag by her shoes, she plopped herself onto the floor near the small coffee table placed on the floor, “Ramen please!” Seungyoun laughed, “Your wish is my command.”

—

He giggled softly as her head began to droop after finishing her ramen, “[Y/N] go lay down on the couch and sleep I’ll wash your plate.” Reaching his arms across the table he gently picked up the plate, and stood up, walking towards the sink and set it at the bottom. His right hand got the sponge and his left picked up the soap, and so he began washing the plate, letting the warm water fall, his attention focused purely on the bowl in front of him which is why he was taken aback at the arms that suddenly wrapped around his waist, and the sudden warmth behind him. “[Y/N] go to sleep you’re tired.” She let out a grunt in disagreement, “But you’re warm.” He sighed and finished washing the dish and placing it onto the dish rack, and quickly washed off the chopsticks, once again placing them into the dish rack. He dried his hands off on a small rag beside the sink and turned around to hug [Y/N], gently patting her back as he let his own back press up against the edge of the sink. “I’m tired.” He laughed at her small voice, “Yes, I know. Come on I’ll walk you over to my bed so you can rest. I’ll be in the living room don’t worry.”

—

His eyes wandered over the sight for just a bit smiling at how your hands tightly held onto the bedsheets in your sleep, moving every so often, he gently adjusted the blanket then stood up and left his bedroom, leaving the door open just a smidge. He plopped himself onto the floor and rested his head onto his arms placed upon the coffee table. Letting out a breath he’d been holding in for a while, in a sudden gust of air moving through his living room he inhaled sharply, “What do you want?” The ghost sat besides him laughed, “You’re so rude Seungyounnie.”

“Please never call me that ever again.” She rolled her eyes and paced through the room walking through him, causing chills to go straight up his spine, “You’ve really let the place go haven’t you?” He lifted his head up and turned his face to her, “Get to the point already. You’re stalling and it’s annoying the hell out of me.”

“Feisty aren’t we?” She paused before walking towards him and taking his chin between her thumb and pointer finger, “Have you made a choice yet?” His eyes shifted away from her and he pulled his face away from her grip, “Yes. I have, but you know what?” She grinned evilly, her mouth twisting into a smile that’d strike fear in anyone’s heart, “What?”

“I don’t plan on telling you what my choice is. At the end of the day would it change anything for you to know what my plans are? No matter what my fate is in your hands, so I guess you’ll just have to patiently wait to see what happens.” He gave her a small smile, “Thank you for a second chance at life, for letting me fulfill my final wish, and even giving me the chance to experience love. I’m afraid it’s time for you to go since she’s starting to wake up.” He watched the shocked figure begin to fade away, then gently rested his head onto his arms again. “I guess all I have left is to accept it.”

“Accept what?” He turned his head to meet eyes with [Y/N], now very awake, and very sober, “Don’t worry about it [Y/N]. Does your head hurt?” His eyes stayed trained on her, letting himself have this one last day, letting himself smile happily for one last time. “It hurts a little bit but, it’s fine.” Her head rested on his shoulder and her hand gently grabbed onto his arm, “Seungyoun, could I talk to you about something?” She turned her head up and was shocked to see his face so close to hers but paid it no mind as her eyes bored into his, “What do you want to talk about [Y/N]?”

“There’s this guy I met, his name is Wooseok, and he asked me out on a date and I told him I’d give him a response after I thought it over for a bit. There’s only one thing stopping me from going out on the date, and how do I say this,” She paused her face growing hot from the close distance of their faces, she suddenly turned away, “Its you. Can you tell me what we are? I just— I really like him, but I really like you and I just wanted to talk about it with you.” Seungyoun smiled sadly remembering that late night when he made the difficult decision of pairing her up with the guy working very near them at the convenience store that was placed just across from them. “[Y/N] I love you,” Her face whipped over to stare at him, her eyes filled with confusion, “But, I really think you should go on that date. I think that it’s something you should do.” He lifted his free hand and gently placed it onto her jaw, he rested his forehead on hers and laughed to himself as he tried keeping his tears from falling, “I’ll go on the date, but before I say goodbye to this, to us, can I kiss you just once Seungyoun?” He let his tears fall freely as he nodded, he twisted his face and let her lips fall onto his, just once. He smiled softly into the kiss, feeling a moment of total complete and utter joy having her for just a moment. For just that moment he felt warm, he felt a love he’d never felt before. He pulled apart from her, it was very brief kiss really, but within that short while he let all his feeling go, he let go of his selfish desire to love someone. He knew the first second he met her he’d never be the same, but as he let his tears fall when she moved her head to rest on his chest, he knew one thing. He’d never regret this.

—

He sat on a park bench waiting, his hand busy mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, that is till he heard a footsteps approaching him. It’d been nearly two years since he’d seen [Y/N], he’d been traveling a lot and she’d been busy with work, her home, and her boyfriend. They stayed friends of course, weekly phone calls, and a FaceTime in which he got to meet her boyfriend. He was a very handsome man, brown hair, sparkling brown eyes, pink lips, the man by all means looked perfect. That wasn’t what Seungyoun liked though, he enjoyed the louving look glazed over his eyes when he looked at [Y/N], he didn’t exactly seem the most open, but Seungyoun rested easy at night knowing [Y/N] had someone in her life that loved her. That in of itself was enough for him.

He looked up from his phone to see [Y/N], the same beautiful smile plastered onto her lips just like all the afternoons spent over his coffee table laughing over unimportant things, his heart fluttered. He stood up and went to give her a hug, grinning ear to ear when they pulled apart, “It’s so good to see you Seungyoun!” His wise smile still stuck to his face he giggled,”It’s so great to see you too [Y/N]!”

—

“Waaaah your engagement ring is so pretty, when did he propose [Y/N]? And why didn’t he ask for my approval?” She laughed from across the table, “Well that’s actually why I wanted to meet up with you, I wanted to invite you to our wedding!” Seungyoun smiled happily, his hand barely holding onto her as he examined her ring, “I’d love to attend your wedding [Y/N], when you know send me the date, time, location, and dress code because I’m absolutely going,” he let her hand go and chuckled, “I’ll even buy myself a nice suit to go.” The silence that followed was tense, he was happy, she was happy, yet something lingered in the air, an unknown sense of discomfort.

“I never told him about us, I only told him you’re one of my best friends. You don’t have to be on edge Seungyoun.” He stared into her eyes, “There’s something you’re not telling me, what do you want to ask [Y/N]?” He cursed himself internally, he changed the subject totally ignoring her words, she saw right through him. “You know me too well Seungyoun,” She smiled rather shyly, “I don’t have anyone to walk me down the aisle, and I was wondering if you’d do me the favor of walking me down the aisle the day of my wedding.” She looked up and was met with his shocked face, “Of course you don’t have to do it! I was just wondering since— There’s no one in my family to do the job and I want someone important to me to walk me down the aisle. So I couldn’t think of anyone else besides you to do it.” Seungyoun smiled, his hand once again met hers and held it lightly, he then locked her fingers with his and held her hand firmly, “I’d be honored to have such a job on the day of your wedding. Of course I’ll do it [Y/N]! I was just a little bit shocked you’d want me to do that on your wedding day.” Her hand tightened, gripping back at his hand, “I wouldn’t want anyone else to have the job.”

—

Seungyoun’s hands nervously adjusted his suit, he tightened his tie, and anxiously stuck his hands into his pockets, “Thank you so much for doing this for [Y/N].” His head whipped back to meet with the shorter man’s eyes, he smiled, “It’s an honor to walk her down the aisle Wooseok. Please take care of her. You’ll never find anyone quite like her.” Wooseok smiled shyly, “I’m really lucky to say I’m getting married to her aren’t I?” Seungyoun chuckled softly and moved to stand right in front of Wooseok, they’d become friends in the recent months and truthfully it made Seungyoun happy, gave him peace of mind knowing Wooseok. He placed both his hands on his shoulders and grinned, “Very lucky. Treat her well. Or else.” He lightly shook his shoulders and the both of them laughed as he let go of his shoulders, “Seungyoun! [Y/N] wants to see you!” One of her bridesmaids yelled from the door of where the men were getting ready, he gave Wooseok a parting smile and wink then walked to the door, he walked besides her as they ended up at room where the bride and her bridesmaids were getting ready. As he stepped into the door he instinctively bowed before looking up and seeing [Y/N], his eyes gazed upon the sight of [Y/N] in her gown, he felt his eyes water as soon as he saw her. He walked closer to her being careful of her gown as he went in to give her a hug, he let himself cry a little bit as he felt his heart ache in his chest. “She’s okay.”

“You made the right choice Seungyoun, she’s okay Seungyoun,” he repeated to himself over and over again, trying to drill it into his head that his choice was right, upon feeling [Y/N] begin to shake in his arms he pulled apart to see tears gently brimming at her eyes which he instantly began to gently dab at her eyes, “I’m so in love with her.” She began to laugh, “I don’t know why Seungyoun but I just felt so sad when I hugged you.” He chuckled looking at her affectionately, “Are you ready to get married?” She smiled at him, “I will admit I originally never even intended in getting back into a relationship. I’m here now and even if I was having cold feet earlier, I want to get married to Wooseok, I really do. I will admit though, I wish things between us had gone differently.” She stood up and neared her lips to his cheek and placed a chaste kiss to the area just below his cheekbone, “Nevertheless Seungyoun I’m happy everything played out how it did. Even if nothing happened between us I’m convinced we’re soulmates. Just simply platonic soulmates.” He chuckled shyly feeling a blush come up to his cheeks, and then moved his hands, he took her hands into his and smiled, “You know what [Y/N], maybe your right.”

—

It was starting, the moment was starting, Seungyoun laughed at the nervous expression plastered onto his face, “You look beautiful.” She smiled widely and linked her arm with his and was handed her bouquet, “Seungyoun I love you. Thank you for doing this.” He smiled gently flicking her shoulder with his free hand, “Stop thanking me, I’m honored to be important enough to have such a role at your wedding,” they began to walk, “Its now or never [Y/N].”

He led her outside and the flower girl began to walk, the doors were opened for them and with their arms linked they began their slow walk down to where Wooseok was. As they walked in he smiled proudly at the quiet whispers talking about the bride’s beauty. With each step they took Seungyoun’s heart got heavier. Dread gathered at the base of his throat but as he looked at Wooseok and saw his eyes become shiny as tears built up in his eyes, as his eyes stayed focused on [Y/N], staring at her like the only woman in the world he felt a sense of happiness wash over him. Though painful, as they neared he let the link between their elbows break, he gave her a gentle hug, and turned to Wooseok and whispered quietly, “Cherish her.” He nodded lovingly as his hands took hers after she handed her bouquet over to her maid of honor. “I will.”

Seungyoun sat down on his seat, “She’ll be just fine Seungyoun.”

—

Seungyoun excitedly rushed down the hall, in his hands were two bouquets of flowers and a small balloon entangled around the larger of the two bouquets. He had once again began back on his life of traveling around the world paring people up with the lives of their life at the snap of his fingers, but chose to focus on one type of soulmates, platonic soulmates. He felt anticipation build up in his chest as he pushed open the door of the hospital room his best friend sat in, as he opened the door he was greeted by the sight of an exhausted Wooseok fast asleep on the chair besides the hospital bed, and [Y/N] gently cradling a baby girl in her arms. She grinned up at him, “You came so quick! I thought you were across the world just two days ago?” He chuckled walking closer to her to place his hand on her head to gently mess up her hair, “Well when your best friend tells you they’re going into labor, you get on a plane as soon as you can and make sure you get there to meet your new niece.”

“You’re incredible Seungyoun. Why did you buy two bouquets of flowers?” He gently leaned into closer to the baby, looking at the small baby girl in her arms fondly, “I wanted to be the first man to buy her flowers.” [Y/N] smiled looking at the beautiful flowers now placed besides the other small gifts brought by some of her other friends, “Well I’m happy to announce you’re the first man to buy her flowers.” He chuckled softly as he felt his heart burst when the small baby began to smile at him, “She’s adorable [Y/N].”

“Do you want to hold her?” He nodded, he pulled off his jacket and placed it on the smaller chair in the room afraid the material of his jacket would be to rough, he then neared [Y/N] being careful with the baby’s head. The baby was small, she gently squirmed as she was transferred from one person to another, cradling the baby was an experience Seungyoun never expected to feel. He adjusted his arms ever so slightly and was pleased to see the little girl begin to get sleepy, when he lifted his head to inform her mother he smiled fondly seeing [Y/N] who had just been awake now fast asleep. With both parents fast asleep Seungyoun couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight. He moved to sit down on the chair where he’d hung his jacket, he gently rocked the little girl watching as her eyelids closed and soft noises escaped her mouth, “Oh honey the wonderful things I could say about your mother,” he giggled, “It’s Uncle Seungyounnie, I didn’t think I could love anyone more than your mother, but now that I look at you all I want to do is protect you from all the evil of the world. I’ll be the best Uncle I can be. I promise you that honey.”

—

“Angel, hold onto my hand tightly!” The little girl tightened her grip onto her uncle’s hand, “Your mommy and daddy would kill me if you got lost.” She smiled, “Seungyounnie will you win me that monkey?” Seungyoun turned his head to look at the monkey hung up on the game booth stall, “Of course!” The little girl excitedly let go of his hand and ran towards the stall, Seungyoun sat on the stool placed in front of the water squirter then picked up the girl and sat her on his lap, “Angel watch this.” He grinned placing his money down, a teen, two dads, and a little kid joined the game right after, he smiled widely watching what looked like stars twinkle in her eyes as she look at the monkey, “1, 2, 3 DING!” The game had started and Seungyoun had no intention of losing, his eyes focused on the target, smiling widely when the water continuously hit the center point, “DING DING DING!” “Player three! What prize would you like?” Seungyoun grinned happily then watched as the little girl happily pointed towards the monkey, as she took the small monkey into her arms and cuddled it she left forward placing a happy kiss onto his nose, “I love you Seungyounnie!”

He never really had a reason, from the moment he died till the moment he was brought back he’d felt empty. As his eyes gazed upon the little girl who meant so much to him he felt a longing deep in inside his heart fill up with a kind of joy he’d never felt before. His love for the little girl was indescribable, Seungyoun was convinced this little girl would change lives some day, just like she’d came into his and changed his life. He felt fulfilled.

“I love you too my little angel.”

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