#case in point: if i see someone acting like this with no sense of irony/intent to get better
Text
/rp
Before I get into it, I want to state that is EXPLICITLY an analysis of the Characters, and is not intended to touch on how the cc’s played them in a meta sense unless specifically stated otherwise.
Also, this is technically a part two to my other post, which took a more in depth look at Techno and Phil’s reactions to Tommy’s death. It’s not necessary when reading this post, but I don’t address their reactions here.
So. The question must be asked.
Are we [the Syndicate] the baddies?
Yes.
The End.
Why are the Syndicate the baddies?
They got damn logo is a wither skull.
The End.
That's not how this works.
Yeah, yeah. You’re right.
The Syndicate's goals as an organization are not inherently bad. They seem to have good intentions behind them, and the focus on the freedom of it's individual group members is important to remember when talking about it; It is not a government. There is no hierarchical power system. No one is forced to do anything against their will, or surrender any of their rights or power to remain a member. It is not a government.
I also want to address Techno and Phil backing Ranboo into a corner – I see them getting a lot of flack for this, but I personally do not think it is relevant to the greater discussion, or necessarily representative of any contradictions within the organization. It was clearly played for laughs, and after they back off they clarify to Ranboo that they won't force him. Then later when Phil and Ranboo are alone, Ranboo feels safe enough to express that he felt like he was pressured into it, and Phil assures him he is allowed to leave whenever he wants; He is not being forced to do anything, and he is not being coerced or blackmailed.
None of the Syndicate members have done any wrongs against each other in the context of the Syndicate, OR gone against any of the Syndicate's core principles.
That, said, holy shit are they the baddies.
Listen, there's trying to telegraph a meaning or message to the audience and then there's having your logo be wither skulls on blackstone. That is straight out of the skit I keep referencing, seriously.
Okay, but, they laughed at it! It was played as a joke, just like the Ranboo thing!
The Ranboo thing was improv, the Syndicate's headquarters were planned – the artistic choices that they made reflect on what role they want the build and the organization inhabiting it to play in the future storylines.
Wither Skulls kind of have some CONNOTATIONS. Techno is an English major, I don't think he chose the most threatening imagery possible on accident, and then joked about the way people would interpret it just to stir the pot. This reads as hugely intentional.
And beyond that, the jokes they make during this part aren't “haha yeah, we look bad but we're actually good!” they're “you can tell by looking at these that we're the good guys wink wink, this is good guy stuff right here :)” It is a joke about how they are definitely not the good guys. This isn't even a case of unreliable narrators, this is one step down from flat out saying the meta intent.
But okay, I hear you, I'm talking about things that haven't happened yet. The Syndicate hasn't used any Withers, they could be an aesthetic choice. Lets look at what they do in practice.
So, they barge into private property, assess Snowchester's right to continue existing based entirely on their own ideals of what Freedom is, and then only once Tubbo assures them that they have no standing leader do they grant the place their approval to, and I gotta stress this part, continue existing.
In my Quackity meta, I already talked about how Government in the context of a M1necraft RP cannot be compared to IRL Governments on a one-to-one scale. They don't serve the same purposes or have the same type of power. What I didn't talk about was Agency in the context of m1necraft governments.
In an irl government, if you are born into one, you can't really leave without committing a massive overhaul on your life, which can be expensive and difficult, if not impossible for many people. Even in a “benevolent” government, the simple physicality of where you were born can prevent you from leaving it easily.
The same hurdles do not exist in the Dream SMP. People who join M1necraft governments choose to. They want to, either at the beginning when they form one, or later on when they join up. So far, no Government has just Sprung Up and forced the current residents of an area to become dependent on them, except maybe the Eggpire, who's status as a government is... shakey.
And even when people want to leave or separate from the government, they have been historically able to do so without any trouble or any effort from said governments to stop them. Jack Manifold emancipated from Manberg. Fundy and Quackity both left to start new nations. In all cases they were allowed to do so without any attempts on the part of the governments to stop them, either through force, or institutions preventing them from doing so.
The most anyone has lost when leaving a government is their house, which is still usually their property anyway, and is something that is easily rebuilt elsewhere and is inconvenient to move anyway.
The only exceptions to this might be Schlatt exiling Wilbur and Tommy - but even then, they weren’t trying to leave, they were trying to get back in, and of course the original L’manberg revolution, where Dream attempted to force L’manberg back into the Dream SMP, which wasn’t even a government at that point in time.
I don’t consider Phil’s house arrest an example of a government forcing someone to stay a citizen - that was treated less as a matter of a citizen wanting to leave the country and more as a threat to national security. Still pretty fucked up, but it’s a different issue.
What I'm saying is, If Tubbo wants to create a government out in the middle of nowhere, threatening no one, forcing no one to join either through force or desperation, and allowing people to join willingly because they want to, then he should be allowed to do that.
The Irony of the Syndicate, a group of people consisting of some of the richest, strongest people on the server, going around and enforcing 'Freedom' that entails no one person having more power than any other, is absurd.
It shows an extreme lack of self-awareness and/or self-righteousness, as they seem to think that they deserve to be the ones who decide what constitutes a government.
Snowchester is a small independent nation - they shouldn’t have to live in fear of being obliterated if they don’t walk on eggshells to meet an arbitrary standard decided by people who’s only authority on the matter COMES FROM THEIR PERSONAL POWER. No one elected them! No one chose them! They were not “approved” by the server at large to enact this kind of law.
The Syndicate are not a government, but they are an unsupervised power structure exerting their ideals on a land that did not ask for them. Like, These people have invented an actual Authoritarian-Anarchist faction. How the hell did they manage this?????
Back on topic.
Tubbo shows them the crater left by his nukes. The reaction is oddly positive – the nukes are fine by the morals of the Syndicate, apparently. I'd argue that they come across as more impressed than anything else; they seem to respect Tubbo for having gotten ahold of “real” power.
(There's a few good memes out there about “We can excuse nuclear weaponry, but we draw the line at Government!”)
So. By the Syndicate's standards: A single person or group of acceptably equal persons with weapons of mass-destruction are only worth “keeping an eye on” because they might provoke other people.
Like, I consider Project Dreamcatcher to be one of, if not the most morally ambiguous thing Tubbo has ever done, largely because it was all on his own initiative. He holds some culpability for The Butcher Army and Phil's house arrest, but they weren't his ideas and he was mostly following Quackity at that point.
And Phil tells Tubbo, IMMEDIATELY AFTER SEEING THE NUCLEAR CRATER:
“Looks like you've reformed a little bit Tubbo, I'm proud.”
And it's fine. Crimes against nature? Fine. A sign of healing in fact!! Tubbo is having a sweeeelll time and he definitely didn't make these nukes specifically in fear of being attacked by these exact people! Tubbo is doing great. Tubbo is doing fine. Tubbo. is. FINE.
Anyway.
I don't think this presentation of the Syndicate was an accident. Looking at the greater lore of SMP right now, after the Egg is done, their list of enemies is slim, and considering that they seem solely invested in taking down governments, that leaves maybe Snowchester, Kinoko Kingdom, and Eret and the greater Dream SMP.
Snowchester has not been shown to be corrupt, evil, or have any intent to go down that route. The most ambiguous thing they've done is, again, is the nukes. Other than that, it's pretty much your average cottagecore snow village.
Kinoko is presented in an even more morally 'good' light, Karl having founded it specifically for his Time-travel library purposes, which are currently being treated by the narrative as a selfless act, if not downright heroic.
Eret is also a fairly 'good' aligned character atm. He's been on that redemption grind since the og betrayal, and doesn't seem keen on backtracking. He's actively tried to leverage his position as king to make things better, and hasn't been quiet about that. He was also 'validated' by Tommy*, a character who has been described both by his allies and enemies as “the hero,” so take that as you will.
What I'm getting at is, all of the current potential enemies for the Syndicate aside from the Egg, are currently being cast as 'good,' and if they were to be attacked, they would undoubtedly have the moral high-ground, unless something drastically changed.
The only potential shakeups I can think of is are a Dream escape and/or a Wilbur revival, both of which could draw the Syndicate's attention and ire, depending on how things go. That said, it's just as likely that either or both of them would join the Syndicate – Dream still has that favor, and Phil and Techno both seemed to think Wilbur would've agreed with their blowing up L'manberg.
Both of those characters are currently **villains – the fact that they're both prime candidates for the Syndicate is a huge indication of the direction it's going to go as the plot moves forward.
((*I know some people are gonna come at me for painting Tommy as the “deciding factor” of what is morally good, so lemme just stop you there. I'm not talking about Tommy somehow having the 'right' to decide who is and isn't good, and definitely not the right to decide who should and shouldn't be king. I'm saying that Tommy, a character who the narrative treats as, if not a good person, then a person who is trying to be good, was in support of Eret, a character who has also been trying to be good.
Eret doesn't gain the moral highground because Tommy said so, he gets it because a character who the narrative treats as trying to do better, acknowledged Eret's earnest attempts at doing the same.
**I'm referring to Wilbur here as a villain because Tommy seemed convinced he would be if he were to be brought back. There is always the possibility that he's wrong.))
So, to summarize this: I read the Syndicate as being intentionally positioned as future antagonists, if not outright villains of a future arc. They are NOT a Government but their goals are contradictory with their means, and it is important to keep in mind that they plan to enforce their own brand of freedom on people who did not grant them either the authority or permission to do so.
So, uh. Can you tell I loved these streams? They were seriously so good. I kept switching between Ranboo and Techno's POV's trying to keep up with everything. I still have to watch Niki's!
All in all, I'm super, super excited for whats coming next, egg stuff, Syndicate stuff, Tommy stuff, all of it.
684 notes
·
View notes
Text
Been seeing takes expressing confusion over Garou's 'calm/tolerant/cooperative' behavior towards the heroes (like Mb) so far, amounting to basically: "he refused to team up with Platinum, yet he's ok aligning with Metal Bat? No way, the Garou 'I know' should intensely hate heroes! And would beat them all up instantly! This is ooc and makes no sense!"
And to me it's like...are you sure? Are you really quite sure? The same Garou who actually reacts like a giddy dorky fanboy when he meets the strongest S Class heroes (and conversely with pure disgust meeting real monsters)? With wistful smiles of one day earning his place in the Hero Guide? (So much irony.)
It's not heroism he hates, because Garou already has a set image in mind how heroes should perform their roles. For example, he ideally expects them to be generally kind & just, acting in 'fair' justice, to selflessly serve the weak and do their jobs well. (You see it when he often points his finger telling them how their roles should act.) But it's when he sees them acting poorly un-heroic: in self-serving, ego-stroking means for example, with false justice towards abusing their own position & power (like Tacchans) - now THAT is what he hates, when they're performing as 'heroes' in name only. (When he says 'you've thrown away your kindness; the hypocrisy makes me sick.') Ohhhh, then he'll certainly have something distasteful to say about that!
Unfortunately, most heroes he's interacted with (ones he's goaded/challenged to fight into seeing what they've got) have only affirmed to him his worst perceptions & disappointments in their 'bad' behavior - except in rare cases (surprising him), like Saitama running past him to attend to an injured Genos, and Metal Bat reacting to selflessly shield the helicopter alongside him - aka they're doing their jobs (performing their roles) as they should, then Garou has no need to attack them, interject, or critique their behavior (except yeah he did scold Mb at first for getting distracted off task.) He leaves them alone because he sees them actually being 'good,' with little else for him to object at the moment. The only thing he'd then expect of them is to keep up, especially when he's already been the one committed to keeping up this far, driven by his strongest feelings - determined solely on his own priority mission, which is right now focused on ensuring Tareo's safety. (So 'keep up' or stand back, as he'll just ironically do their jobs for them. Plus more irony: no lone hero, not even Saitama or Blast, can do or 'fix' everything alone.)
But in contrast, if heroes (& monsters alike) still insist on fighting him - like Flash, for example jumping the gun, acting on prejudice, or their own self-interest etc, then of course Garou won't back down. (He'd gladly fight those who would still oppose him, or always defends himself accordingly, even if it's only him alone vs 'god' and the entire mob.)
Because him setting that example - being that symbol there to 'scare' everyone into behaving well (playing nice & 'fair') is the crux of it, to the point he (wrongly, naively, stubbornly) believes he has no other choice but to take the (self)destructive monster role this far to incite what he wants - goodness & unity in others. (Repeatedly convincing and resigning himself of his 'evil' role & mistaken identity to do that, believing that he cannot cause change otherwise or ever be accepted as a hero in turn. No self-awareness and poor self-assurance/confidence here, thinking he has to become someone he's not.)
You even see his intent in the webcomic when he literally stands there, goading everyone into attacking him (demanding they rise to meet his challenge) to test their true heroic grit & spirits. (And if they fail? Of course he reacts in bitter disappointment.) The only thing is that he just hasn't realized that what he's after - the 'good' behavior of a selfless heroic heart - actually already exists within himself, and that is pure dramatic irony at ONE's finest.
So with that, and Garou yet to fully accept or reject himself on the line, we'll see how far he chooses to behave and consistently react as 'Garou' (or not?) next.
#opm#garou#meta#manga spoilers#long text post#gah why do all my shower thoughts come to me at 5am#but so far nothing he's done has been ooc or surprising to me#the only thing most important to me (about his character) however#is how he keeps his agency and ultimately refuses to fully abandon his humanity despite the scares he'll lose it#anything else is a free game surprise how ONE intends to show him the light about himself
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
Science & God’s Existence
By Author Eli Kittim
Can We Reject Paul’s Vision Based On the Fact that No One Saw It?
Given that none of Paul’s companions saw or heard the content of his visionary experience (Acts 9), on the road to Damascus, some critics have argued that it must be rejected as unreliable and inauthentic. Let’s test that hypothesis. Thoughts are common to all human beings. Are they not? However, no one can “prove” that they have thoughts. That doesn’t mean that they don’t have any. Just because others can’t see or hear your thoughts doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. Obviously, a vision, by definition, is called a “vision” precisely because it is neither seen nor observed by others. So, this preoccupation with “evidence” and “scientism” has gone too far. We demand proof for things that are real but cannot be proven. According to philosopher William Lane Craig, the irony is that science can’t even prove the existence of the external world, even though it presupposes it.
No one has ever seen an electron, or the substance we call “dark matter,” yet physicists presuppose them. Up until recently we could not see, under any circumstances, ultraviolet rays, X – rays, or gamma rays. Does that mean they didn’t exist before their detection? Of course not. Recently, with the advent of better instruments and technology we are able to detect what was once invisible to the human eye. Gamma rays were first observed in 1900. Ultraviolet rays were discovered in 1801. X-rays were discovered in 1895. So, PRIOR to the 19th century, no one could see these types of electromagnetic radiation with either the naked eye or by using microscopes, telescopes, or any other available instruments. Prior to the 19th century, these phenomena could not be established. Today, however, they are established as facts. What made the difference? Technology (new instruments)!
If you could go back in time to Ancient Greece and tell people that in the future they could sit at home and have face-to-face conversations with people who are actually thousands of miles away, would they have believed you? According to the empirical model of that day, this would have been utterly impossible! It would have been considered science fiction. My point is that what we cannot see today with the naked eye might be seen or detected tomorrow by means of newer, more sophisticated technologies!
——-
Can We Use The Scientific Model to Address Metaphysical Questions?
Using empirical methods of “observation” to determine what is true and what is false is a very *simplistic* way of understanding reality in all its complexity. For example, we don’t experience 10 dimensions of reality. We only experience a 3-dimensional world, with time functioning as a 4th dimension. Yet Quantum physics tells us there are, at least, 10 dimensions to reality: https://www.google.com/amp/s/phys.org/news/2014-12-universe-dimensions.amp
Prior to the discoveries of primitive microscopes, in the 17th century, you couldn’t see germs, bacteria, viruses, or microorganisms with the naked eye! For all intents and purposes, these microorganisms DID NOT EXIST! It would therefore be quite wrong to assume that, because a large number of people (i.e. a consensus) cannot see it, an unobservable phenomenon must be ipso facto nonexistent.
Similarly, prophetic experiences (e.g. visions) cannot be tested by any instruments of modern technology, nor investigated by the methods of science. Because prophetic experiences are of a different kind, the assumption that they do not have objective reality is a hermeneutical mistake that leads to a false conclusion. Physical phenomena are perceived by the senses, whereas metaphysical phenomena are not perceived by the senses but rather by pure consciousness. Therefore, if we use the same criteria for metaphysical perceptions that we use for physical ones (which are derived exclusively from the senses), that would be mixing apples and oranges. The hermeneutical mistake is to use empirical observation (that only tests physical phenomena) as “a standard” for testing the truth value of metaphysical phenomena. In other words, the criteria used to measure physical phenomena are quite inappropriate and wholly inapplicable to their metaphysical counterparts.
——-
Are the “Facts” of Science the Only Truth, While All Else is Illusion?
Whoever said that scientific “facts” are *necessarily* true? On the contrary, according to Bertrand Russell and Immanuel Kant, only a priori statements are *necessarily* true (i.e. logical & mathematical propositions), which are not derived from the senses! The senses can be deceptive. That’s why every 100 years or so new “facts” are discovered that replace old ones. So what happened to the old facts? Well, they were not necessarily true in the epistemological sense. And this process keeps repeating seemingly ad infinitum. If that is the case, how then can we trust the empirical model, devote ourselves to its shrines of truth, and worship at its temples (universities)? Read the “The Structure of Scientific Revolutions” by Thomas Kuhn, a classic book on the history of science and how scientific paradigms change over time.
——-
Cosmology, Modern Astronomy, & Philosophy Seem to Point to the Existence of God
If you studied cosmology and modern astronomy, you would be astounded by the amazing beauty, order, structure, and precision of the various movements of the planets and stars. The Big Bang Theory is the current cosmological model which asserts that the universe had a beginning. Astoundingly, the very first line of the Bible (the opening sentence, i.e. Gen. 1.1) makes the exact same assertion. The fine tuning argument demonstrates how the slightest change to any of the fundamental physical constants would have changed the course of history so that the evolution of the universe would not have proceeded in the way that it did, and life itself would not have existed. What is more, the cosmological argument demonstrates the existence of a “first cause,” which can be inferred via the concept of causation. This is not unlike Leibniz’ “principle of sufficient reason” nor unlike Parmenides’ “nothing comes from nothing” (Gk. οὐδὲν ἐξ οὐδενός; Lat. ex nihilo nihil fit)! All these arguments demonstrate that there must be a cosmic intelligence (i.e. a necessary being) that designed and sustained the universe.
We live in an incredibly complex and mysterious universe that we sometimes take for granted. Let me explain. The Earth is constantly traveling at 67,000 miles per hour and doesn’t collide with anything. Think about how fast that is. The speed of an average bullet is approximately 1,700 mph. And the Earth’s speed is 67,000 mph! That’s mind-boggling! Moreover, the Earth rotates roughly 1,000 miles per hour, yet you don’t fall off the grid, nor do you feel this gyration because of gravity. And I’m not even discussing the ontological implications of the enormous information-processing capacity of the human brain, its ability to invent concepts, its tremendous intelligence in the fields of philosophy, mathematics, and the sciences, and its modern technological innovations.
It is therefore disingenuous to reduce this incredibly complex and extraordinarily deep existence to simplistic formulas and pseudoscientific oversimplifications. As I said earlier, science cannot even “prove” the existence of the external world, much less the presence of a transcendent one. The logical positivist Ludwig Wittgenstein said that metaphysical questions are unanswerable by science. Yet atheist critics are incessantly comparing Paul’s and Jesus’ “experiences” to the scientific model, and even classifying them as deliberate literary falsehoods made to pass as facts because they don’t meet scholarly and academic parameters. The present paper has tried to show that this is a bogus argument! It does not simply question the “epistemological adequacy” of atheistic philosophies, but rather the methodological (and therefore epistemic) legitimacy of the atheist program per se.
——-
#scientificmethod#Godsexistence#religious experience#visions#ThomasKuhn#scientism#technology#metaphysics#empiricism#firstcause#scientificdiscoveries#quantum mechanics#physicalphenomena#godandscience#metaphysicalphenomena#exnihilonihilfit#bertrand russell#immanuel kant#a priori#fundamentalphysicalconstants#paul the apostle#elikittim#thelittlebookofrevelation#principleofsufficientreason#leibniz#parmenides#ek#William Lane Craig#big bang#apologistelikittim
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dysregulation
Summary: Carlos thinks it's time to address some issues.
WC: 1.4k | AO3
Warnings: discussion of mental illness
-
They never talk about what happened at the firehouse after Owen got arrested.
To be fair, there’s a lot more going on, Carlos can admit- their home and the firehouse burned down, Tommy’s husband died, there was a massive dust storm- there hasn’t been a lot of time to talk about anything that wasn’t happening in the immediate moment. That does not mean, however, that Carlos has forgotten.
It’s not the first time he’s had to restrain TK to calm him down. While it’s not a daily occurrence, it’s happened enough that Carlos needs more than one hand to count them off. Part of him wonders if anyone else has even noticed the issue, or if it’s just him trying to hold TK together when he comes dangerously close to flying into pieces. He knows of at least two other occasions TK sought out poor coping mechanisms. There was his fight at the bar where he got arrested, and an altercation with Judd over some stupid call.
Carlos does research about it before he even thinks of talking to TK. He likes to know all the facts of a situation before he gets into it, and he figures that if he can find some answers or coping strategies online, this might go easier than just trying to shoot a shot in the dark about helping his boyfriend. What he finds describes TK’s behavior as emotional dysregulation, and it’s not uncommon in a variety of disorders, at least two of which he knows for a fact TK has been diagnosed with.
He calls Gwyn one morning alone while he’s meal prepping for the week. TK, Owen and Mateo have already gone to start their shared shift, while Carlos’ isn’t until the evening. While he doesn’t know much about Owen- seeing as TK mostly refuses to talk about his father and the two of them are rarely in the room together long- he knows him well enough to recognize a lot of the same neuroses between the two. If that doesn’t help, at least Gwyn has known TK longer than Carlos has.
They spend a few minutes on pleasantries and catching up before Carlos drops the questions on her. “I wanted to talk to you about TK.”
“He’s not hurt again, is he?”
“No, no, nothing like that, he’s fine.” Carlos double checks his mother’s recipe card and pulls out the next vegetable to dice up. “I think he is, anyway. I just wanted your advice on something.”
“Of course.”
Carlos takes a second to gather his thoughts. He doesn’t mean to just dump TK’s business out in the open, but he needs someone to help him figure this out, and he figures someone who raised TK would have some guidance on how to approach this. He wants to help TK in the same way TK helps him when he’s overwhelmed or anxious.
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but sometimes TK doesn’t exactly… manage his emotions well.”
“Oh, definitely not. He gets it from Owen. Between the two of them, living in that house was just constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
“That sounds familiar.” He considers the time they fought after the farmer’s market. TK acted like the world was ending, even going so far as to remove some of things from Carlos’ apartment. It had felt like an insane overreaction, but one that he couldn’t really say anything about when he didn’t know what it felt like to be in TK’s position. “How did you deal with that?”
“I spent a lot of time in therapy figuring that out.” She pauses. “Probably should have been the two of them in therapy, come to think of it. But what my therapist told me was that I have to realize that it’s real for them.”
“Meaning what, exactly?”
“TK’s blown up at you at least once, I assume?”
“Once or twice.”
She hums. “When he’s that upset, it’s like it’s the only emotion he’s ever had. It’s real to him. The best advice I can give you is to step inside his head with him. The thing people like you and I have to understand is that if we want to be with them, we have to understand that it's a mental illness and we aren’t going to be able to fix them. We can only support them in recovery and try to understand when they’re having an episode.”
“That’s very insightful, Gwyn.”
“I’ve been dealing with Owen Strand for almost thirty years. I picked up a few things.”
He laughs, but only because he feels like he should. They chat for a few more minutes before he hangs up and finishes his meal prep. It makes sense. Carlos isn’t a therapist, and he won’t try to be, but he can be there for TK.
When he and TK both sat down and had the conversation about their health, it had been maybe two weeks into their relationship. It was something they had needed to speak about. Carlos talked to him about being autistic, and TK told him about having ADHD and the series of inconsistent diagnoses he’s been given by the laundry list of doctors he’s been through. The current diagnosis is borderline, he had said, but he’s been diagnosed with everything from bipolar to psychosis since he was first seen by mental health professionals in his teenage years. Every doctor has a different opinion, he had said. Whatever the case, he knows what Gwyn means when she says to keep in mind that it’s not coming from a rational place in TK’s mind.
Now that they’ve moved back in with Owen while they hunt for a new place to live, things have become more tense. TK doesn’t like being here and it shows. He and Owen are constantly on edge with each other, on the cusp of a fight or actively having one that winds up with Owen drinking outside in the backyard- and pressuring Mateo to join him- while TK paces in their room and Carlos tries to convince him not to hit something. It can’t be healthy for any of them to keep living like this.
He waits until they have the place to themselves to talk about it, both for TK’s comfort and in case things blow up, as they sometimes do when TK and Carlos fall out of step with one another. They’ve had their dinner and washed up, and are now tucked under a blanket together on the couch while a documentary plays on the television.
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“Are you mad at me?”
“I’m not mad at you.”
They fall into a short silence after that. TK fidgets in what he undoubtedly thinks is a subtle way, bouncing the leg that’s not pinned beneath Carlos’ weight and tapping his fingers against each other. Carlos feels bad for bringing him anxiety, but they do have to talk about it at some point.
“I love you,” he starts, “I really do love you, TK, and I’m not going anywhere, but I need you to be more aware of yourself.”
“What does that mean?”
This is the difficult part; finding a way to phrase things without making TK feel like he’s being attacked or cornered, something which will only lead to a fight. Carlos recognizes the irony of this tone-policing when he’s trying to talk to TK about the very root issue.
“I feel like you don’t have a good handle on your emotions and it’s upsetting me,” he tries. “It makes me feel like I have to walk on eggshells and like your emotions matter more than mine. I’m sure that’s not your intention, but that’s what I feel like, and I was hoping we could figure out a way to deal with this.”
“Like what?”
Carlos shrugs. “Ultimately it’s up to you, but one thought I had was about therapy. Maybe trying a different approach with your therapist, or even getting a new one. Or, I thought we could try couple’s counseling.”
“Couple’s counseling is for failing relationships.”
It is at that moment that Carlos knows he lost him. Whoever put that in his head- and Carlos’ money is on Owen- has won out over reasoning for right now. They don’t have to do that, of course, and if TK needs time to come around he can have it, but the mere suggestion has effectively shut down the conversation for now.
This is going to be a long road.
39 notes
·
View notes
Note
Can I get a request for yandere Silva, Uvogin, and Phinks?
Phinks has been done already, you can read it here.
Uvogin
Uvogin is often described as animalistic and you need to know this is not limited to when he is fighting: This man is the sort of person who is fartoo connected with his most primal instincts. Normally, this is not exactly abad thing, but in his case, it is and it can easily become worse when he’s pushed into Yandere Valley, especially considering his personality,not to mention the “take what you want even if by force” mindset of the Troupeand how they already don’t exactly give a damn about who they hurt to achievetheir goals.
While not one to beat around the bush or hide his interest once it isprovoked, Uvogin is not stupid and the Troupe is the only thing that mattersfor him, so he is usually careful with “normal” interactions and tends to preferone-night stands (far safer in his opinion and besides, he doesn’t have anyemotional attachments outside of the Spider and doesn’t care to have), meaning itwill be a surprise for him when he realizes he is thinking of you with far morecare than he’s used to and also more often… It would be easier if it was simplylust, but somehow, it doesn’t feel like that.
Despite the initial surprise, once this starts and realizes it (whichwill be pretty soon), Uvogin won’t want to put an end to it or try to forget you(while, in fact, his obsession grows). It’s simply not in his nature. In fact,once he realizes he wants you, whatever past might be between you won’tmatter, even if you’re meant to be enemies or if you’re hunting the Spidersdown (in a way, in his obsession, Uvogin may find this exciting). Once he issure he wants you for life, he’ll also make his intentions clear.
Hey, it’s not that you actually have a choice, but he thought you mightappreciate the pretense all the same. Sorry, sweetheart, he isn’t a chocolateand roses kind of guy, remember? When the Spiders want something, they take itand he’s no different.
Despite the circumstances that led to you two meeting, even if yourealize the danger you’re in and decide it might be smarter to find a hell of agood place to hide for a while (hoping he’ll get over you or something), thiswon’t do more than buy you a few days. Going to the authorities and beingplaced in a safe house is useless just as well. The Spiders stick together and isvery likely some of them (such as Shalnark) will help him get to you if things geta little more complicated. While some stalkers may give up their currentobsession with time, this tactic won’t work with Uvogin. No matter where youare or the security you have, he will find you.
Hey, if he has to kill (read: slaughter) some morons along the way, it’snothing that will keep him up at night. It will be a pretty gruesome scene andunless you’re unconscious, you’ll see it as he drags you along with him. On a note, Uvogin might not kill your family (at least not this time) or your friends (if he’s completely sure they are indeed just friends, thoughthe chances are not as good as with your family). Also, contrary to someothers, Uvogin won’t drag this “game” for longer than necessary or just take histime as he corners you. Yes, he is a predator and a hunter, this sort of thingis fun and all, but why waste time when you’re so close? Especially if you’vemanaged to stay away for what he deems to be too long. What may happen is that,when the perfect opportunity to get you comes, he will let you run -literally-and believe you’re safe before catching you. Uvogin doesn’t mean this as torture,it’s just that it’s too fun for him to let it pass.
From then on, it’s hopeless.
You can reason, cry, argue, or yell that this isn’t love, but Uvogin won’treally give a damn, even if he doesn’t enjoy to see you in distress (if hislevel of obsession allows him that, at least). In his mind, you can call thiswhatever you want, but he wants you with him, so that’s it. Besides, there aremany types of love, and this is the love of a thief. Get used to it,little love, because you’re not going anywhere. Note that Uvogin isn’tdelusional enough to insist that you do love him and just doesn’t knowit yet, but this doesn’t mean he will care whether kidnapping you was crossinga line or not. While won’t take pleasure or be indifferent to your suffering, itwon’t make him regret his actions not even for a moment. If anything, hemay point out that the sooner you get used to your new life, the sooner thingswill start to get better.
He just knows he loves you and wants you with him, so what else matters?
It’s pretty disturbing how Uvogin will act all nice and gentle when you’renot trying to escape even if you’re defying him (this if his obsession isn’t onthose hellish levels where the instability becomes far too intense for him toeven resemble who he used to be, in this case, it’s better to keep your mouthshut) and, surprisingly, for someone who can be so ruthless and brutal whenfighting, it’s unlikely Uvogin will be violent around you (well, with you). It’s not that his personality will change, but in his own way, he’ll be affectionate…
Not a sight anyone who has fought him would expect and not that it makes thingsany better, no matter how much he says he loves you while dismissing how muchpain he’s causing you. Uvogin will often want you near him, wanting to enjoythe moments he has with you when he’s not doing some job with the Spiders. In thosetimes, if no one can stay back to what you, Uvogin won’t hesitate to force you insidea cage or place a chain around your ankle and locking you in your room. If youcry, he will just joke that he’ll miss you too, love.
The rest of the Troupe is no better, either, but then again, did youexpect anything different?
When you try to escape, Uvogin is likely to allow you to go until acertain point before catching you… It’s an interesting game of tag and whatbetter way to make you understand you can’t ever leave? If you keep insistingor if we’re talking about a rescue, though, it won’t be pretty… At all. Manyanimals get irritated with what they consider an invasion of their territory ora “threat” to their mates and, well, remember how Uvogin bit through a man’sskull once? Yeah, what happens will be along those lines and he won’t hesitateto make you watch.
Or maybe you can try asking nicely for him to spare their lives?Maybe you can be kinder to him in return? Yeah, Uvogin won’t hesitate touse them as levarage to force you into showing him some affection, even if it’sfake (which he’ll escalate into an attempt at seducting you very soon).
Of course, you don’t need to know he killed them anyway (or thatsome other member of the Spider did). Come on, you didn’t really expect them tolet someone get so close and just walk away, did you?
Silva
Silva is not a man who has much of a care for morals and even in a normalstate of mind he’ll consider all the options he has to achieve his goalsand get what he wants. This relentness will only become stronger once hebecomes a yandere for you and while this can often be said for any Yandere, the fact that Silva already has this streak doesn’t mean anything goodfor you. Silva is already used to do disregard limits, already has connections and means, so he won’t hesitate when he decides to pursue you evenafter you’ve rejected his advances.
Not being an impulsive man, it’s unlikely that he’ll become obsessed withyou after a single meeting (though some interest might be incited), regardlessof how you first cross paths: Maybe he met you while chasing a target, maybeyou’re a friend of Killua and came with Gon, Leorio and Kurapika to rescue him,so on. Your following meetings might be brief, he may just hear something aboutyou, but eventually, he will find himself growing… Curious. He’ll then decideto find more about you whenever the opportunity arises, since there are very veryfew people he considers “interesting” outside of his inner circle. You don’t evenhave to be a Hunter for that to happen.
At first, it will be apparently harmless enough (for a Zoldyckassassin, it should be said): He may read about your work, or watch a match ifyou fight in Heaven’s Arena… In a sense, at first, his view will be completelyanalytic: If he watches you fighting, for example, Silva will first focus onyour style, your abilities, your strong and weak points (only later he’ll be focusingmore on you). It’s extremelly hard to say what he’s thinking, but there probablywon’t be any darker intentions just yet. Silva is truly just curious.
There will come a time when second-hand information won’t be as satisfyingfor Silva and he’ll decide to watch you from afar personally. It is nothing outof ordinary for him, after all, there have been times when he observed histarget for some time before killing them… Well… He knows he doesn’t want tokill you, but he isn’t that sure of what he wants with you either (at least atfirst) and this will frustrate him for a good while, as it’s rare for him toget confused or unsure of what he things or feels.
Watching you from afar, seeing you personally, seeing you smile tosomeone else, will change that. Silva will realize very soon that he wants you… He may take one or two days to consider the situation, to think about whatis happening and if this isn’t a passing idea or if he isn’t mixing things up(an irony, considering obsession isn’t love). In the end, Silva will decidethat while things did not start this way, it’s how they are now.
What about Kikyo, you ask?
It depends… We haven’t seen much of their interactions to be completelysure of whether or not there is actual love in that marriage. When it comesdown to it, there are two options: They truly love each other (as strange as itmight seem considering how this family is) or Silva met Kikyo, saw something inher that would be useful for the Zoldyck’s bloodline and manipulated her to thepoint she is completely devoted to him now (I’ve read somewhere Kikyo came fromthe Meteor City. If that’s so, then marrying a powerful, rich man with areputation such as Silva must’ve seemed a dream come true to her, so no wondershe would do whatever he desires). As such, there are also two options of howthings might work in this scenario: Either Silva would kill Kikyo and make itlook like an accident (which he would be able to pull off to the point even hischildren wouldn’t think otherwise) or Kikyo, due to her blind devotion to Silva,wouldn’t mind him having a mistress (which she would consider as a pet of sorts).
In a way or another, Silva won’t care about what he has to do to makesure you’re his, regardless of your (or anyone else’s) opinion on the matter.
At first, Silva will try more normal means of getting to you (courting you,we might say) since he’d much rather have you coming to him willingly, but itwon’t take long for him to determine whether this may get the desirable resultsor not (Silva is great at reading people and remember he won’t have problemswith “checking” on you to know how this idea is going). From them on, hisattempts will start to get unsettling, as there will be an undertone of threateven with the most innocent of gestures: It’s his way of telling you this isyour last chance of doing this the easier way. He’s being nice for now, butthis can change. While most guys may be somewhat insistent without it becoming harassment, it won’t be so with Silva. Long before the time comeswhen he warns you he is not taking “no” for an answer, you’ll alreadyhave the feeling you’re in serious trouble.
Silva has many means of getting to you: From kidnapping you when you’remost vulnerable, to threatening your loved ones to bribing policemen working onkeeping you safe to just hand you over… He has many options and he’ll know whichone works better depending on the circumstances. He will prefer to not involveyour family or closest friends, since it would be counter-productive in thelong run.
While with Illumi you at least can walk around the mansion and thegardens, it won’t be so with Silva: You’ll be kept in a room deep within theZoldyck estate and the only times when you’ll get out will be accompanied byhim, when Silva decides you need/deserve a walk around the gardens. As he willtell you with a smile, there isn’t any way you can escape, so don’t bother totry. Don’t worry, though, you’ll have anything and everything you might wishfor. And it’s true, Silva will have no problems with pampering you even if younever ask for anything.
Why are you surprised he knows so much about your likes and dislikes, mydear?
In a way, it’s not so different than it was with Alluka and, just like itwas with her, it won’t mean anything when you don’t have your freedom. Don’tbother asking for it either. Silva won’t ever let you go (and he will tell you thatquite clearly if it’s necessary).
While some Yanderes might at least feel bad about seeing you suffer,regardless if they understand the depths of what they’re doing and how terribleit is, it won’t be so with Silva. Oh, he knows what he is doing and he believes he loves you, he does, but he’s not a man to be moved by the suffering ofothers even if he claims to care for them. Your tears are just a necessary eviland Silva won’t let you go just because you’re crying. The most compassionate reactionhe may have is to just hold you close and start whispering how things will bealright once you realize how much he loves you.
One thing you should never forget, and that makes the situation evenworse, is that Silva is and always will be, a manipulator. Being theonly one who you have contact with (he may let the butlers serve you from timeto time, but they won’t be allowed to really talk to you), he knows theloneliness will end up making you talk with him. At first, it will be innocentconversation, nothing that appears to have importance…
But Silva will reach the topics of your “previous” life and twist thingsto his advantage. You talk of how you love your friends, how you miss them?Silva will lie that they haven’t even tried to rescue you or remind you of badtimes and arguments you had or anything else he can use against them (andbecause he stalked you, he knows quite a few things), slowly poisoning yourmind with doubts, while acting all sweet and caring.
Silva won’t isolate you just physically, but mentally and emotionally aswell, doing his best to convince you he’s the only one who truly loves you, whounderstands you. He wasn’t kidding when he said he wants to be the only one you’llever think about.
Also, while other Yanderes may truly want you to love them, Silva won’tcare as much. Oh, he wants you to love him, he does, but asfrustrating as it might be if it doesn’t happen, he will content himself withhaving you there. Besides, he knows it will be just a matter of time until yourgive in and accept the situation…
After all, it’s not like you can ever leave, is it?
#headcanon#yandere#hxh#silva#zoldyck#uvogin#hunter x hunter#silva zoldyck#yandere headcanon#I always have so much fun with those#silva would be one of the worst yanderes#hunterxhunter#hxh headcanon#hunter yandere
121 notes
·
View notes
Text
Spanish Princess Episode 5: many many thoughts
Strap yo selves in
-WHERE WAS THE APOLOGY?? Lina’s just back with Catherine like nothing happened??
-Katherine, I get why you’re upset, but you kind of should be unsurprised?? Your dad was unfaithful to his wife, most kings were. Henry VII and Richard III were the exceptions, and even they had illegitimate sons before their marriages. Many kings also had official mistresses that everyone knew about, so by the standards of the time Henry and Bessie are actually being pretty tactful in at least trying to keep their affair out of sight. (Sexy dancing aside).
-Honestly it would have been so much more moving if KoA was like “I know kings take mistresses...but I thought...I was so sure... he would be different...”
-”they gave me a purse of gold!” It’s expected that you give the monarch lavish presents, lmao Ursula and Stafford would do that even if they hated each other and you
-”everybody loves a masque” the only sensible thing Henry has said so far in this show. Also court probably had way more masques than we see in the show, and it would standard to have a masque every holiday.
-”she is not a boy” hurry up with your character development and learn to love Mary already i am so TIRED of this miserable BS
-seems a rather depopulated masque? If the Chateau Vert pageant is anything to go by putting on a masque was a court activity, with most of the ladies performing.
-Bessie Blount in her cute masque costume... sweet mother i cannot weave Aphrodite has overcome me with GAAAAAAAAAAAAY
-”I never enjoyed carousing...my mother scolded me” look i love the Neville sisters with my whole heart but a) Margaret was 3 at most when her mother died, how does she remember her? She’d have clearer memories of her double-uncle and double-aunt, Richard III and Queen Anne b) Isabel Neville in the White Queen was established as very prim and proper, a well-bred girl who cared about enforcing decorum, she refused to ‘carouse’ and she certainly would never bring a 3 year old to a party c) we saw little Margaret as a girl at the end of the White Queen and she didn’t seem at all shy.
-”she died young, didn’t she” ...yes? most people did?
-”they both did” understatement of the year. Isabel Neville died young because she was ill, George died young (in the universe of The White Queen, at least) BECAUSE HE WAS FORCEFULLY DROWNED IN A VAT OF MALMSEY WINE. THESE TWO THINGS ARE NOT THE SAME! I do at least trust the writers of this show that the understatement was intentional, I’m sure even Emma Frost couldn’t forget a major character getting violently drowned.
-So the court only noticed the plague when one of their own got it so obviously and then died? Yes, plague could move fast, but if there was a whiff of plague the court would flee with the speed of the Looney Tunes road runner. If an acquaintance of an acquaintance of a cook had a cousin who saw someone with the plague, the court would flee to the country. How have these people not died of terminal stupid?! Like Compton was in the same building as the heir to the throne
-To be fair, it makes sense that they’re surprised Compton’s dead. Because the real Compton died of the sweating sickness. In 1528. Also he was involved in Buckingham’s downfall so... you just wrote yourself into a corner.
-Oh wow an actual good reason for More and Pole to be quarantined together i am amaaaaaazed
-”attend the queen” Boleyn, what do you think your daughter’s been doing all season if not attending the queen? Playing tetris?
-Katherine helping Anne into the wagon...I actually like that little moment. Like it does make sense, because the two have no reason to hate each other yet. (And who couldn’t like Anne? She’s such a babby!)
-Thomas More in the Tudor equivalent of casual clothes... much better. Shame about the 1930s lady’s wig.
-”what else should we do?” Maggie, this cannot be the first epidemic you’ve ever lived through. Have you forgotten the sweating sickness of 1485? You’ve probably lived through more epidemics than Oviedo has, you should know the protocol better than him.
-Oviedo continues to be the only man with rights. I wish we could see him crying and missing his wife and babies, but then my lil heart would break so maybe it’s for the best.
-They burn Maggie’s weird blue hood AS THEY SHOULD! IT WAS UGLY AND STUPID! I NEVER HAVE TO LOOK AT IT AGAIN NOW! THANK YOU SO MUCH! yes they also burned her nice dress with the strawberries on it but honestly it’s worth it, bc now i can rest easy, knowing the evil hood has been defeated.
-”you were a plaything” Katherine is so obviously insecure. I’m getting second-hand embarrassment. Like if she really was certain Bessie wasn’t important, she wouldn’t need to say it, would she? Except to rub it in. Which this KOA would absolutely do.
-literally all Bessie said was good morning?? Like Bessie is doing her best?? The masque was Henry’s idea, not hers, she hasn’t shown off about her affair, she hasn’t demanded money or titles, she hasn’t demanded any status to rival Katherine’s, she doesn’t flirt with or even speak to Henry when Katherine’s around, she acts like they’re strangers, she doesn’t even react when Katherine loses her temper...someone please please stick up for Bessie!
-”the rocking of the cart is unsettling to the stomach” is Anne naive, or is she covering for Bessie? I hope it’s the latter, in which case Anne is the one person looking out for Bessie...the babby is Soft, I repeat the babby is Soft!
-the irony of Mary being cold to Bessie when she’s next in the firing line...
-”it is not the rocking” Thank you Lina, where would we be without your gift for stating the obvious?
-”where did Wolsey get his money”...He’s a churchman...at the top of the church hierarchy...how do you fuckin think he got wealthy. Have y’all not been in the sixteenth century for five minutes? Why do you think Luther is so mad at the church?
-”I know of no other man in her bed most nights” Honestly wow I’m surprised KoA wasn’t like “well :/ a girl like that :/ who knows how many men process in and out of her bed :/” KoA gets half a point for being less bitchy than usual. Also Bessie looked so uncomfortable with Henry groping her stomach in front of Katherine. I pray the next man in her life treats her right and that Fraham don’t prematurely kill her off like they did with Compton.
-”the future king” if you’re regent on his behalf, then he’s already king! “Civilised companionship” back at it again with the Scots-are-barbarians.
-Laura Carmichael is utterly stunning this episode, with her hair down. The cinematography was beautiful in general this week.
-”freedom to speak and licence to speak are two different things” hey look at that one of Thomas More’s actual beliefs. I am giving all the credit to the historical advisor for that, I don’t believe for one second Fraham knew that beforehand.
-Maggie I love you but no, God does not sanction adultery. For any reason.
-KOA smirking and gloating about Bessie’s pain...she has never been so punchable. I would understand, if not condone it, if Bessie was manipulative, or greedy, or ambitious, or trying to supplant Katherine. But Bessie’s been betrayed by Henry too, and there’s no concrete evidence she ever gloated about her affair, to anyone let alone Katherine.
-”You think only of your own fate while London is struck down with plague” Earth to Katherine?? What concern have you shown for the Londoners?? Also calling Bessie selfish...Bessie’s not the one who lashed out at Lina, was jealous at Lina for having twin boys, and who wanted to continue a war for personal reasons. And then Bessie proves KoA wrong 5 hot seconds later by sticking up for Mary. Bit rich of KoA to be all “how dare you leave my daughter unattended” when she herself won’t even hold Mary.
-”Louis didn’t last a year” What! Is! The Timeline!
-Meg in that cloak reminds me of the Scottish Widow adverts. Georgie is so greedy- she steals every single scene she is in! Even when she’s raging she has more dignity and more presence than KoA ever has.
-”YOU LYING SOD” i burst out laughing it’s really not the little two-timing shit’s day, is it?
-Mary receiving Charlie B in the most Extra way possible. A++
-Why does Wolsey look like he’s about to cry?
-”thoughts are not actions” Lina I love you but... that is NOT what the New Testament says. Jesus said evil thoughts are very very much sins. I’ll give you a pass because maybe you haven’t been Catholic as long as Katherine has? Idk your backstory.
-Aaand now she’s wishing death on Bessie and her unborn baby and Lina isn’t disgusted? At least Katherine is feeling guilty. AS SHE SHOULD.
-”must it always fall to me to be magnanimous?” Katherine, you think only of yourself, for 23 out of every 24 hours.
-”God wants me to be compassionate to Bessie because of my sins” God wants you to be compassionate because that’s how Christianity is supposed to work. It’s not very selfless of you to decide to be selfless so that you can get what you want.
-oh wow look at that! She’s getting some self-awareness, i never saw that coming.
-”you betrayed Bessie” 5 points to Katherine of Aragon for standing up for Bessie when Henry screwed her over. Finally, some positive character development.
- MINUS 20000 POINTS FOR BABY STEALING
-WHAT THE FUCK
-is henry so dumb he thinks that baby is Katherine’s? Katherine was so obviously not pregnant
-When a baby’s born his skin needs to touch his mother’s skin so they can bond. They should have at least an hour’s cuddle time. Katherine of Aragon is literally traumatising a baby the very minute he is born. For her own selfish, selfish desires.
61 notes
·
View notes
Note
I feel like people don't get that Jgy really did have a point about JC changing the course of the other sect's feelings towards wwx. Ultimately, Jc is the sect leader, his word would have been law. Lwj's action and subsequent punishment at CR is actually a perfect parallel to Wwx's. Only the outcomes are different in terms of reputation. Because Lwj did do the same things Wwx was accused of. He went against (and actually hurt with intent) his sect to protect his sect's enemy. (1/?)
(2/?) Wwx felt similarly. The only difference is ironically, he didn't help enemies, he felt clearly that the Jiangs owed a debt (and no it's not about the core) and Jc himself agrees. But Wwx agrees that to the world it's no different and his punishment is to leave the sect. And unlike Lwj, who actually hurt the elders, his fight with JC was staged. But despite these similarities, one person has a different outcome. Because ultimately the Lans stood by Lwj, his brother stood by him.
(3/?) This is not to minimize the horrific (and to me undeserving) punishment that Lwj gets. But he's still second master Lan after. No one seems to know about how he's gone against his sect. The Juniors love him (and don't seem to really anything about his 'crimes'). He's still seen as someone of status in the cultivation world, as the second young master of Lan. Infact, no rumours seem to reach them. Lxc, ultimately blames wwx more than Lwj for his actions. And this changes things.
(4/?) It means that whatever the Lans think of Lwj, because they closed around him his reputation recovers and is considered peerless. The others (even if the legitimate complaint, wnd they do) can't move against him. Because the Lans were like, this is our problem, you can't interfere. This isn't the first time either. Think of Qhj too. This is what Jgy meant when he was talking about standing by wwx. Ultimately the irony is that both Lwj and Wwx committed similar actions against their sect.
(5/5) In fact, I would argue Lwj is the more legitimate crime, as Wwx's rebellion was staged and his actions made to also protect the Jiang sect. But they had completely different results in terms of how the public sees them. All because, even when they disagree and punish him, they still grudgingly stand by him. So the world does. I am not saying this is more moral or not. Only that Jgy had a point about JC.
Here’s what I think is the other major difference between what JC does to WWX and what LXC and LQR do to LWJ: in LWJ’s case, he knowingly committed treason. The Lans didn’t know the full story, they didn’t know that WWX was acting out of righteousness or that the Wens were innocent. Why they didn’t know is a little unclear given LWJ did, but it is what it is and I never saw anything that would suggest the Lans knew anything beyond what the Jins and Jiangs told them. And also, LWJ himself acknowledges that when he defended WWX from his elders he wasn’t acting out of righteousness or a sense of justice; he defended WWX because he loves him, whether WWX was at that point in the right or not was immaterial. So while LWJ’s punishment was brutal, given the circumstances I’m not sure it was excessive, at least not by the standards of the setting. And yeah, the Lans very much keep it in-house as it were; the other sects don’t even seem to know that LWJ was punished or that he defended WWX (which probably plays just as much a part in his unblemished reputation as the Lans closing ranks and taking no shit on the topic, if not more). LWJ was just “in seclusion”, and no one would dare to gossip openly about Hanguang-jun or speculate about why exactly he was secluded for so long.
Meanwhile JC knew WWX was acting righteously and he knew the Wens were innocent, but he actively worked to turn the sects against WWX anyway. Despite knowing that WWX was upholding the debt that JC knew the two of them had towards the Wen sibs, he still abandons WWX to stand alone. He destroys WWX’s reputation as (or more) thoroughly as JGS and JGY ever did out of his own jealousy and possessiveness. So it’s like... with the Lans it’s an at least semi-justifiable punishment with them doing their best to shield LWJ from any consequences in the wider world of the sects. With JC, it was a childish lashing-out at his brother for doing something he didn’t agree with that very neatly destroyed WWX’s life despite acknowledging that WWX was in the right and also that JC himself did technically have a debt to pay there. So yeah, JGY was very right to call JC out on his shit.
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
Evander Wade Hate AU - Chapter 9
MasterList for Evander Wade Hate AU
Word Count: 3698
This is an AU where I made Evander Wade secretly a villain because I hate him. Also I’m fixing some issues I had with cannon.
--------------
After patrol was over, Danna found herself standing in the middle of her room with the team surrounding her. Ruby was spinning in the chair at her desk and Nova and Adrian were leaning against each other on the bed with Oscar laying across their laps. Neither of them really seemed to mind him and Ruby was too busy laughing her head off to notice anything else.
"Stop that," Danna said, grabbing the chair to hold it still.
Ruby yelped as she fell off of it and hit the floor.
"You could have asked," Ruby said, glaring.
"I did but then made an executive decision. Now come on. This is important. I'm going to tell you who Nightmare is."
"Oh finally," Oscar said. "Nova you've missed a lot. Danna figured it out after she got stuck in swarm mode."
Danna tried to hide her laughter and she could tell by the way Nova and Adrian's mouths twitched that they wanted to smile and laugh at the irony too.
"I'm aware," Nova said calmly, her face going back to it's blank state in less then a second. Danna still did not know how she was able to do that and she wasn't sure if she wanted to know.
Danna continued.
"Anyways-"
"Wait. Drumroll," Ruby said, getting back in the chair and tapping her hands on the desk.
Danna sighed. She loved Ruby and she loved how they saw the best in situations but she wasn't sure why this had to be one of those.
"This is serious Ruby," Danna said.
"Exactly," Oscar said. "I don't think we're ever going to have a dramatic identity reveal again so we might as well make the most of it."
"Fine. Fine. Do the drumroll then," Danna said, defeated. Adrian was trying not to laugh and so was Nova.
"Yay!" Ruby said, pounding faster on the desk with her hands.
"Anyways Nightmare is Nova," Danna said, pointing to her.
"Oh that wasn't as dramatic as it could've- wait its Nova!" Oscar sputtered. He sat up and looked up at her.
"Like our Nova," Ruby asked, looking at her in shock from across the room.
"What other Nova do you know that we would be referring to?" Nova asked. "So yeah it's me. I honestly can't believe that you're surprised. I did a terrible job at hiding that I was Nightmare. It was so obvious how did you guys miss it?"
"Well I didn't want to think badly of you because you're my team mate," Ruby said, both her and Oscar gaping at her.
"A terrible decision," Nova deadpanned.
"Sorry I was trying to be nice," Ruby said, rolling her eyes. If she was upset she wasn't showing it. Danna figured that telling them that Nova wasn't exactly making all of her decisions by choice was also making them far less upset with her.
"This is a much better reaction than I anticipated," Nova said, just as surprised as Danna.
"Now that I think about it, I really shouldn't be surprised," Oscar admitted. "But are you okay? I mean either you were forced into this or raised by the Anarchists and both those things sound like terrible things."
Nova shrugged, her face falling blank again. Danna didn't think she'd be letting them see any emotions from her anytime soon.
"This is very impressive though," Ruby said. "Like it's absolutely terrifying all the things you are capable of but it's impressive."
"Thanks," Nova laughed.
"So now what?" Ruby asked.
"Now we've got to figure out who killed my mom," Adrian said.
"I'm placing my bets on either Evander or an Anarchists," Nova said.
"I see why you would think an Anarchist but why Evander? I mean I don't really like him but why him?" Adrian asked.
"I don't trust him. I know I'm usually skeptical of a lot of people but there's something off about him. That and it makes sense to me. I don't have a motive on hand but it would be the most shocking which is why no one would ever question him. It would explain why no one has ever figured it out. No one would be suspicious of him," Nova pointed out. "Honestly I lean more towards him killing her then an Anarchist."
"Why a Council Member and not an Anarchist?" Danna asked. "I'm not going to doubt your expertise on murder but it doesn't make much sense."
Danna never really trusted Evander either but she didn't understand why a Council Member would kill another Council Member. There was no logical motive. There was nothing that they would gain from it.
"Because I've asked the Anarchists about it before and they get a little fidgety like they know something but I've also asked Ingrid and she said she had no clue. Suspecting them because of the card being there makes sense but they would have taken claim to it. The card could have just as easily been placed there to throw people off and frankly when I lived in the Cathedral when all the Anarchists were still around, there was not a single word about it and I don't recall any of them carrying around little cards with Anarchist slogans on them," Nova explained.
"But what would a Council Member have to gain from it?" Adrian asked, posing the question that was probably on all their minds.
"Maybe a reason to really start fighting with the Anarchists. A way to justify it at least so things could keep escalating and to paint themselves in a better light. I don't really know why and I'm not trying to defend the Anarchists either, for all I know they could be the reason why my parents are dead, but it makes as little sense to me as it makes as little sense to you as why a Council Member would do it. If these are connected then it makes even less sense as to why I wouldn't know who did it because that meant by placing that card there Ace would have asked around until he found out who did it and would have told me."
"Why would Ace Anarchy have told you?" Oscar asked.
"Because he's my uncle and I don't exactly think he'd be too happy with someone involved in it, even if it wasn't intentional. He found out which gang sent the hitman that killed my parents and literally had all of them killed in one night," Nova explained.
"You're his niece!" Ruby exclaimed.
"How do you think I ended up with the Anarchists in the first place?" Nova asked. "McLain isn't even my actual last name, it's Artino."
Ruby and Oscar continued to ask questions while Danna tried to see Nova's point. She already knew that she was Ace's niece.
And if anyone knew the Anarchists, it would be her of all people. Of course the people who knew, if they were Anarchists, could very well have died in the Battle of Gatlon or never said a thing to avoid prosecution for it, but they must have told Nova if they did know. If an Anarchist did in fact kill Lady Indomitable, she must have found out at some point. Surely they would have let Ace know and he probably would have told her.
Unless of course there was some outer reason to keep it contained. Danna didn't want to say it and she didn't want to burden Nova with the idea, but Lady Indomitable and her parents died on the same night in the same area and it was very much possible that if an Anarchist stopped her and killed her, it could have resulted in the deaths of Nova's family. Danna figured at the very least, Nova would not take kindly to the Anarchists and side with the Renegades if that happened or an Anarchist might not have said a word unless they wanted to face Ace's wrath.
That was the exact point Nova was making.
But of course the question of the note card still remained. Why place that only to not take credit?
And more importantly if that was there then why did Nova know nothing about Ace arguing with another Anarchist and killing that person when she knew that he took out an entire gang in one night for sending the hitman?
"We can look into it. I mean we're basically going to be playing spy and breaking into the Artifacts to get the information we need from the file on you," Danna said.
"Finally we're doing something I'm used to and am good at," Nova said.
"Of course this is what you're excited about," Adrian said.
"What else were any of you really expecting?"
"That you don't like causing mayhem and are a Renegade?" Oscar asked.
"I'm not an Anarchist but do not call me a Renegade," Nova said, glaring at him. "I still think all of this sucks. I just think that if a group of teenagers can solve a ten year cold case of one of the most well known murder cases then maybe the Renegades aren't all they say they are and trust me when I say that I have a lot more issues regardless of my relationship to the Anarchists or not."
"What else could you possibly have against them other then what the Anarchists told you?" Ruby asked.
"I'll make a list for you all later tonight. How's that?" Nova fired.
"We're getting off topic," Adrian pointed out. It wasn't like there was exactly tension but he wasn't wrong to want to divert the conversation either way.
"So pretty much the goal is to figure out the passcode for the restricted files that are on the logging computers in the Archives and then we pretty much have to break into the Archives so we don't get caught," Danna said. "So Nova that's where your expertise comes in."
"I get to play Nightmare again and wreak havoc?" Nova asked, eyebrows raised as she leaned against the wall.
"Not necessarily. It might just be more of you having to make some invention to help out with spying or distract Callum and Tina in the Archives while we slip in. Maybe act like you're helping us check something out or do research."
Danna still planned on having Narcissa help out. She just had to tell Nova first because she assessed that there was some sort of tension between them that she didn't want to just throw at everyone. She didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable and she didn't want Narcissa bailing on them because of it.
However she didn't want to put Nova back into being Nightmare either if it could be avoided. She figured Nova was ready to leave it behind and while she was probably perfectly capable of jumping back into it, Danna assumed that there must be some bad memories connecting to it.
"Good because after tonight I won't have access to that anymore. I'm grabbing the vitality charm and leaving," Nova said. "If I were to keep anything else it could be incriminating. That and knowing Leroy he'll probably burn anything in acid or some chemicals."
"Where are you going after?" Ruby asked.
"I got my own place," Nova asked.
"I'm going to add that to the list of things you should have told us," Oscar said.
"Oh no it's really recent. Like I just moved in last night," Nova asked. "So honestly we can move these little meetings there once it's all set up. It's not like we would have to worry about parents or other people coming in because it's just me."
"Okay so that's useful," Danna said.
"I have to actually have more then a duffel bag's worth of personal belongings first," Nova said.
"Tell us when you do so we have a better place to go."
"It might take a bit but I will," Nova reassured.
Danna wasn't sure what exactly Nova owned. For all she knew it could be a few months before she even had the ability to host them as she would probably focus on buying necessities like food first before she moved on to buying any furniture for them. It wasn't like she slept either so if there wasn't a bed there probably wasn't much incentive to go get one.
Danna also assumed that Adrian would probably end up drawing her some bulkier things just because he could if she knew anything about her brother so maybe it wouldn't be too far into the future.
"So is this it? Is this all we have?" Adrian asked.
"For now. Later Nova and I can probably work out a plan together so we can get at least one of us into the Artifacts department and Adrian I need you to figure out what the passcode would be from your dads," Danna explained.
Any plan they had was useless if they couldn't get the passcode. There was no point in breaking in for something if they couldn't even obtain it.
"Oh that's easy. The two of them always forget passwords so I know they have it written around somewhere," Adrian told them.
"Alright this is going to be easier then I thought it would be," Nova said, "I mean I've already broken into the Archives before and things are still messed up at HQ so even though there would be more patrol groups it couldn't be too hard to get passed them with enough of us if we really do have to go through with a full on break in."
"Stop bragging that you're a trained spy and assassin. Not all of us are that cool," Oscar said, punching her in the arm. She just hit him back.
"Anyways," Danna said, continuing. "We really just need to get Nova in. I mean we're opening her file so it's probably best if she's the one who gets to look at it. Besides, she already works in the Archives. It won't be hard for her to act like she's cataloging something."
Danna wasn't really forward to knowing the full extent of the file on Nova's family. She didn't think Nova would really want to share such personal information and since she already knew most of what happened and it was revolving around the death's of her family, it was only fair that she got to know the information first. She deserved to know and deserved to be updated on what happened that night.
Nova would probably be the only one able to stomach it with crying or wanting to throw up. Just from what Danna could read it was an intense case and if Nova had already gone through it then she would be able to prepare herself.
"If we can get a new assignment for patrol or take up a certain case then one of you could probably go and check out something from the Archives to distract Tina or Callum. Usually it's just Callum and he'll be more then happy to help you with whatever you need to find if I'm bust cataloging," Nova said. "Thursday nights after 9 it's always just us but anytime after 10 it's just me."
"Okay so it's not impossible. The question is how do we make sure we have the information saved without the security cameras catching all of this?" Ruby asked.
"I already have that covered. Don't worry about it," Danna said.
Danna's plan was to get Narcissa to steal the information while Nova helped one of them find whatever they needed in the Archives. Nova could probably work on cataloging some mirrors or some assorted items and could turn and leave them on the cart temporarily to go help whoever came in to check something out.
That way it wasn't suspicious, Narcissa could quickly enter the passcode, write down the information, and get out. She could drop it off at Nova's, traveling through mirror, and Nova could read it after. Then they could keep it back with Narcissa in the mirror realm so they weren't caught.
And if the cameras detected something or someone went back and saw the footage and found it suspicious then Nova could say that she had told Callum that she planned on cataloging those specific items that night and Narcissa must have spied and overheard so she got the timing right. No one would question it after that as long as Nova made sure she said that to Callum.
"Anything else?" Ruby asked.
"No I think that's about it."
"Good because my mom just texted me that she's on her way to pick me up and she's Oscar's ride home too."
"Aww," Oscar said as he grabbed his and Ruby's jackets for them. "We'll see you guys tomorrow at HQ."
Both him and Ruby then left, Danna watching from the window to make sure they both got into Mrs. Tucker's car safely before turning back to Nova and Adrian.
"We should probably head out," Nova said, turning to Adrian and taking off her wrist band.
"Yeah that'd be smart. It's starting to get dark out," Adrian said, taking it from her and putting it in his pocket.
"Actually I need to talk to Nova alone," Danna said.
Both of them gave her a look but as requested Adrian left, taking the wrist band with him.
"Just meet me there at like 8:30," Nova told him as he walked out the door.
"Got it."
Danna raised a brow once it was just her and Nova.
"Sneaking off to some romantic rendezvous with my brother?"
"Actually leaving the Anarchists for good and getting back the Vitality Charm which should be..... interesting to say the least," Nova said, face turning sour as she told her.
"Oh," Danna said. It couldn't have been an easy task, even for Nova. She might have been the only one who could actually stand her ground in a fight against two Anarchists but then again, they had raised her and she imagined it couldn't be something that she could take on emotionally. They may have treated her terribly but they were the only form of family she had.
At least until now because now Nova had Adrian and Danna and the team.
"What did you want to talk to me about?" Nova asked, changing the topic.
"I ran into Narcissa and I've convinced her to help. Her powers would be useful and since she's not a Renegade she can get away with a lot more without suspicion. But it seemed like she sort of has a bad relationship with you so I wanted to know if that was alright?"
"Yeah I should probably talk to her and work things out," Nova sighed, running a hand through her loose curls.
"What happened?" Danna asked.
"We sort of hand a fling for a few months when we were 15 and we were friends before that because she was literally the only person my age that I knew but the Anarchists told me she was becoming too much of a distraction so I stopped seeing her and honestly it was probably a good thing because at this point I would have dragged her into some sort of trouble. The only time I've seen her since was at the library," Nova admitted.
"Okay so I was right!" Danna cheered. She then noticed the sad look on Nova's face and stopped. "Sorry," she apologized.
"It's fine though did you mean you were right in that you thought we had dated or right in the sense that I'm bisexual?"
"Well I wasn't going to assume your label if you even have one but I was right about both," Danna said, proud that she figured it out though she tried not to flaunt it too much on Nova as it wasn't a good time. "Do you think you two could work it out? I mean it seems like you still care about one another as friends."
"Probably," Nova said. "I mean it's been a while since we talked but if you give her my address and send her my way tomorrow then it'll be fine. Then after that I assume you have some sort of plan that involves her that all three of us will need to work out."
"You're right with that assumption," Danna told her. "Good luck tonight with leaving the Anarchists by the way. I hope things are alright for you."
"Thanks."
"Just don't let my brother get hurt. When it comes to us and the rest of the team he tends to be protective and-"
"Rush into things?" Nova finished, snorting. "Trust me I know. When we had the fight with the Detonator at the fun house she showed up and even though I was the one who had the gun he immediately went to defend me."
"Sounds about right," Danna laughed. "I think he'd rather fall on his ass before he lets anyone get a papercut."
"Definitely," Nova agreed. She then saw the clock on the wall. "I better get going. I'll see you later."
"Oh wait," Danna said, stopping her before she walked out the door. "What's your address so I can give it to Narcissa?"
"36A on the Westbrook Apartment complex. It's literally the four streets over from here," Nova told her.
Danna knew where that complex was. She had passed by it many times on patrol and sometimes when she flew around with her butterflies she passed it too as it was on her normal route.
"Oh and Nova," Danna said as she went out the front door.
"Hmm?" Nova asked, turning her head.
"Don't break my brother's heart please."
Nova gave her a soft smile. "Trust me. I don't want to ever hurt him at all."
"Good. See you later!" Danna said as she went out the front door, leaving Danna satisfied with the feeling that Nova and her were starting to really become good friends.
Danna then wrote down the address on a note and tapes it to the mirror for Narcissa along with directions for her to go talk to Nova tomorrow night.
Hopefully things would work out and the three of them could come up with a plan by Thursday night.
-----------
Tag List:
@thepurpledragon4444 @nova-artino @novas-tunnel-of-anxiety @princessselene126 @my-littlenightmare @anarchists-87 @plain-jane-mclain @thecaptainsdamsel @emybain @renegadesnet @itsalittlebitchilly @justsomerandomficsforrenegades @jacihayle @creampuffqueen @alecjamesartino @blueraspberry-official @imnotfluffy @ruby-tucker @everhartartino @goldendaysareahead @artino-nova @lumity
#nevada fanfiction#renegays#renegades trilogy#renegades#archenemies#supernova#supernova spoilers#nova artino#adrian everhart#danna bell#narcissa cronin#oscar silva#ruby tucker#osby#tuckva#nodrian#danissa
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
Rin’s Love Never Dies Scriptdoctor Thing:
Act I:
Open with “Till I Hear You Sing”
Emcee enters to let him know they have acquired Miss Fleck’s contract, and that she will be joining them shortly.
He notices something is off and appears as if he is piecing together what, but the Phantom deflects to the matter of Miss Fleck’s arrival.
Fleck, Squelch, and Gangle (Emcee) reunite, and they show Fleck around Coney Island and the prototype automatons.
“The Coney Island Waltz”
After perhaps a verse or two, shift focus to Meg, who has written a letter enticing Christine to come and visit her.
Christine initially refuses because of the family’s tight finances of late, but Meg encourages her to cut a deal with Mr. Y—he could pay her good money in exchange for the publicity it would bring to Phantasma.
Fleck sees the in-development “freak” show and hears of the Phantom’s intentions for it, but is skeptical that it could be received the way he wants it to be.
Christine, Raoul, and their son, Gustave, arrive in New York, where they are badgered by journalists and photographers.
Raoul is frustrated to no end by this, less so by the rumors about himself than by their pestering of his son and determination to get interviews with Christine.
They narrowly escape to the hotel. Raoul does a revised version of “Dreadful Town,” angry about the prying journalists and fearful that the job Meg wrote Christine about will be a scam—that she’ll have been tricked due to her starry-eyedness over New York. As a backup, he reveals, he has secured a deal with Oscar Hammerstein.
Raoul leaves to finalize that deal, and once he has left, Gustave frets that somehow this is his own fault. Christine tries to reassure him, but is unable to tell him about the past Phantom incident. She does the best she can while still circling around it. (“Look with Your Heart”)
She attempts to distract Gustave with the promise of seeing Coney Island and meeting Meg. Her distraction fails as time rolls on and she becomes concerned about Raoul. She takes Gustave and decides they have to go and retrieve him.
On the way back, the trio passes by the Phantom and Gangle (themselves returning from obtaining supplies or something of that nature). They don’t fully 100% recognize each other, but they see enough to suspect.
Raoul and Phantom are immediately on alert and trying to verify what they saw, while Christine and Gangle are trying to steer them away.
Maybe use the first verse of “Devil Take the Hindmost” as each tries to scope without in turn being scoped. (I kind of like the passive aggressive “you bitch” quality, and especially if they don’t know 100% that it’s each other.)
Christine assures Raoul it couldn’t have been what they thought, that it must be a coincidence. Meg said Phantasma was an experimental type of place, and it’s close by, it must have been one of the workers.
But that night, in private, she fears that it was in fact the Phantom, and dreams of another version of events wherein she had made the opposite choice (“Beneath a Moonless Sky”) until she is awakened by Gustave, who has had a nightmare.
She reassures him, saying it will be all right because of Meg and the deal with Mr. Y.
The following morning, Christine takes Gustave and they head to the Phantasma. Christine and Meg run into each other, and they catch up. Meg mentions her newest act, and how much creative liberty she gets here, and the kinds of acts she’s been experimenting with.
She expresses excitement that Christine has decided to follow through with her suggestion, that in a way, they’ll be performing together again. But when she asks how Christine has been since she’s arrived in New York, Christine evades the question.
Somewhere in there, they realize to their horror that Gustave has wandered off.
Gustave is found by Fleck and Squelch, who take him to Gangle and Mr. Y. Gangle, not having failed the spot-check yesterday, has them stay with the kid while he goes to find the parents.
Phantom is of course internally flipping out, but when Gustave shows interest in the piano and the in-development stuff, the Phantom shows off the in-development “freak” show and automatons, resulting in their finding some common ground (“The Beauty Underneath”).
Might be a good idea to have Fleck and Squelch still part of this scene, given their earlier skepticism about the act.
This is interrupted when Gangle returns, announcing that he found the kid’s mom and will take him to her. Christine hears her son’s voice and comes to retrieve him, resulting in her and the Phantom recognizing each other.
“I didn’t know you had a son.”
“I didn’t know you were still alive.”
It comes out that Christine was advised to contract herself to sing for the Phantasma by someone who worked there, and asks if he works for Mr. Y as well. Which is somewhat awkward, because of course, the Phantom is Mr. Y.
There is some question of that other way things could have been, how they can’t go back to that way things were or know how that other way would have gone even if they wanted to, so it’s best to move on and do what you can to make the best of it (“Once Upon Another Time”). With that, he agrees to contract her to sing.
End of Act 1.
Act II:
Raoul is still frustrated and bewildered about the Hammerstein deal falling through (probably dropping some hints as to the implied reason why), but Christine informs him that it will be all right, that the deal with Mr. Y was a real thing.
While she is careful to skirt around his identity, Gustave, not knowing any better, chimes in with enough details about Phantasma and his ideas that Raoul is able to put two and two together.
Raoul massively stresses about the implication that he has driven Christine back into that situation from ten years ago. Christine insists that isn’t the case, but at this point Raoul is wound too tight to hear her. He storms off, intending to confront the Phantom and settle this on his own.
Naturally, this doesn’t go well for any of them, and they end up having a rather aggressive and probably somewhat suggestive dispute involving harsh words, with the implication that it may get physical (“Devil Take the Hindmost (Reprise)”). There are definitely more than a few threats, and although it doesn’t quite come to blows, it definitely gets close.
Raoul, understandably frazzled from this confrontation, goes to get a drink.
At the bar, Raoul laments that he has probably ruined stuff for Christine again, wondering why she continues to bother with him when he keeps getting her stuck in the same trap over and over (“Why Does She Love Me?”).
The bartender recognizes something is off and while he may be somewhat pushing the boundaries of his job, he steps in. He doesn’t exactly pry, but he gets enough info to be able to start talking him back and set him in the right direction.
Christine has sought Meg’s council and invited her back to her hotel room. Meg learns the truth of Mr. Y’s identity and while she regrets having lead Christine back to him, she’s somewhat amused by the irony. Meg had come to New York to escape the reputation of the scared little girl who screamed at ghosts, intending to get as far away as she could. (“Why Does She Love Me? (Reprise)”) She ends up suggesting that perhaps that’s what would be best for Christine as well, to get away from everything, at least for a little while.
Also sort of in that same time frame, the Phantom realizes what he’s done in picking a fight with Raoul right after making the contract with Christine, cue the massive Oh Crap! Moment. Gangle says something which is somewhat related to the line between letting go and straight up acting like a thing never happened. There’s this kind of back and forth about how do I move on when I can’t or something to that effect (“Till I Hear You Sing (Reprise)”) which doesn’t solve everything and may not give answers, but, still kind of gives a general sense of what direction to start walking in.
No idea how I would wrap it up from there but for now the plan is something something closure something maybe force the rivals to work together in the confusion of Christine and Gustave being missing? Work the title song in somewhere, something, something ending with people parting ways. Everybody lives.
#rin plays scriptwriter#love never dies#vague outline thing#writer things#rin does fanfic#phantom of the opera#rin rambles#rin plays with tropes#and also completely screws with the context of musical numbers because why not#long post#i feel like i gotta do something with gustave being a little creepy child and meeting someone else who thinks like he does#but i have no idea what that would be#especially since i am cutting the 'whose spawn is he anyway' subplot
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ownership - Chapter 17 (A Kylo RenxOC AU)
Cora Ardmore and Kylo Ren work for rival companies, but they don’t know that until after they spend the night together. Once their identities are revealed to each other it’s a question of who will cave first?
This fic is mostly porn, pure kinky porn.
Please leave comments, kudos and reblogs if you like it. If you would like to be tagged let me know.
Warnings: More plot, Language
Chapter 17
Cora Ardmore
Now was the time I needed to tell Poe and get him on board as well as the rest of the team. I knew once Poe was backing me, the rest would follow. Heading to his office, I knocked on the glass and waited to be called in. The last time I’d let myself in, I’d caught him and Finn in a pretty heated make-out session. Hearing Poe call me in from the other side, I entered his office with a soft smile. Peering at me from over his glasses, he returned the smile.
“You alright?” He asked.
“I’m good. Wanted to run something by you.”
“You have something for a future issue?”
“Oh yeah. The issue of all issues. This will blow every other magazine that looks down their noses at us out of the water.”
Now I had his full attention, as he locked his computer screen and put down the papers he’d been reading over. Sitting opposite him, I crossed my legs and smoothed down my skirt.
“What do you know about The First Order?” I asked.
“They are America’s top supplier of weapons and ammo...which would be a cause for concern if they were doing anything illegal.”
“I have an anonymous source, potentially three. The main source believes that the CEO and a small group of employees are selling weapons to terrorist groups. And bribery and embezzlement.”
“And what proof do you have of that?”
Puling my pocket notebook from my jacket, I opened the marked page and slid it over to Poe.
“My source got me a list of customers and also companies that supposedly don’t exist. I’m going to need the team to help me with this as there’s so much ground to cover,” I explained.
Poe studied the list and mulled it over for a little bit.
“For now, this is just a list. That could lead to dead ends. I’m not saying no, but for now I can’t have the whole team work on this. You know we’re gonna need more than this to go on. You’re sure your source isn’t messing you around?”
He had a point. But now I was just determined to prove him wrong, prove to him I had a real story. However, I knew for a fact Kylo was not messing me around, this was all real, this wasn’t some ploy to put the magazine in hot water or get a lawsuit.
“I’m sure. But when I do find something, you’re going to be need to ready to work double time. This story will take months to gather everything for. We’re going to need other things for the issues before that,” I said matter-of-factly.
“You’re really confident on this one, aren’t you?”
“I am. Someone has to be. Maybe mention it to Finn and see what he says,” I suggested with a smirk.
We both knew if Finn heard about a potentially good story, he wouldn’t let it go. A trait that really bothered Poe sometimes.
“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Poe returned the smirk.
Taking my notebook from him, I got up from his desk and headed to the door, “He is your better half.”
Exiting Poe’s office, I headed down the hall. Passing the staff kitchen, I noticed Finn was inside making coffee. And he was alone. Backpedalling three steps, I stepped into the kitchen and leant against the counter.
“Your timing is impeccable, Finn,” I commented.
He smirked, “you struggling with an article too? Need that caffeine boost?”
“I definitely need the caffeine boost. But I’m more struggling with a potential future story.”
Finn looked at me with obvious interest, “got a lead on something?”
Showing Finn the same list I showed Poe, I then gave Finn the same speech. Finn listened intently, growing more and more interested by the second. I knew I had him on board and it would be a matter of time before the story spread around the office like wildfire.
“You want me to call some of those numbers and see what I can find?” Finn asked.
“Not sure, your boyfriend is under the impression I have a dead end.”
“Well, you know I love nothing more than proving Poe wrong.”
“Calling them outright might be fishy. I’m gonna try to convince my source to call them, so it seems less suspicious. But we can search public records for the names on the list. I was thinking of looking for any terrorist activity in the recent years.”
“That’s gonna be a lot of activity. Half the time nowadays, some white boy shooting up a school is considered a terrorist act.”
“Well, it’s not like I have a deadline yet, so it will take as long as it takes. I’m gonna finish up this segment and then start my research.”
“Let me know if you need a hand with research, though. Rey wants me to teach her photo shop, and I don’t have the patience for it today.”
“I’m sure convincing Poe for me will get you out of it.”
Finn poured three mugs of coffee, adding one sugar to his and at least three to the next mug which told me that one was for Poe. Adding two, I thanked Finn and headed back to my office.
Half an hour later, I had finished the segment and could finally focus on my research. Taking my burner phone from my drawer, I called Kylo’s number and waited for him to pick up.
“Got something for me, Kitten?” He answered.
“Depends. Where are you right now?”
“My office. Lunch break. I can head outside if you need me too.”
“No, it’s okay. Have you managed to get on board with Snoke yet?”
“Not yet. I’m still debating how to go about it.”
“Confront him with the evidence you’ve found. I know its risky, but he trusts you, right? If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have given you all this special treatment. You’re one of his most valuable assets, and he’d be a fool to not have you on board. He knows if he doesn’t take you on board then you’ll go to the cops, so what choice does he have?”
“Killing me on the fucking spot? I can’t just go in there and slap the folder on his desk.”
“Kylo, you are the only person in that fucking company that he has treated like a son. He is not going to kill you. You need to act like you want in, like you want to better yourself and impress him. I know you can do it. You have to if you want the story.”
Kylo sighed heavily as if to calm himself or psyche himself up, I couldn’t be sure which.
“Fine. I’ll do it after lunch,” he gave in.
“Call me when you get home tonight and let me know how it went, okay? In the meantime, I’m gonna start looking through any recent terrorist attacks. See if I can find something there.”
“Okay.”
“Kylo…” I caught myself before I said anything stupid, “be careful.”
He scoffed at the irony of that sentence, “sure. I’ll call you later.”
He hung up, and I put the phone on my desk, just in case he called sooner. Sighing, I rubbed my eyes and made a sound of frustration. What the fuck was I thinking? I couldn’t just tell him that I loved him, especially not on the phone. But it was impossible to deny my feelings for him any longer. I knew I shouldn’t be letting my personal feelings for him be a motivation for me to do this story, but I couldn’t help it.
The past year had had its red flags, sure, but most of the time things were good between us. Even if it was just a sexual relationship. It made sense for me to fall for him; he was the first man in years who had given me such attention and devotion. He’d brought out a confidence I didn’t know I’d had.
And any doubts I had about myself were usually ignorable when I was with him, especially when he looked at me or smiled at me. Most of the time I couldn’t wait for the working week to be over so that I could be with him. Any clothes or lingerie that I brought always had him in mind, whether he’d like it on me. I couldn’t be sure however if he reciprocated the feelings. Whilst he trusted me enough to tell me about Snoke and all the dirty little secrets The First Order had; he had never once set foot in my home.
No matter how many times I invited him over with the offer of dinner and of course sex, he always refused. Maybe it was too personal, one of those stupid rules of his that he never went to a sub’s home. Or maybe it just made sense to spend time at his place because all the toys were at his place. Maybe once the story came out things would be different between us. Maybe I’d have the courage to tell him how I really felt.
Taglist: @sweetfictionalworld, @sweetsec-93, @cltex84, @jana-banana-fana, @dark-night-sky-99, @little-laamb, @jynzandtonic, @blackredrose27, @neeharlow
#kylo ren#kylo ren angst#kylo ren fanfiction#kylo ren fic#kylo ren fanfic#kylo ren fluff#kylo ren smut#kylo ren au#kylo renxoc#ben solo#ben solo angst#ben solo fanfic#ben solo fic#ben solo smut#ben solo fanfiction#ben solo feels#ben solo fluff#ben solo au#ben soloxoc#star wars#Star Wars fanfic#Star Wars Fic#star wars fanfiction#star wars fluff#star wars feels#star wars smut#star wars angst#star wars au
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
The King’s Mate • chapter 2
(rewritten version)
word count: 2.4k
I will try making them longer, but it means it’ll take me more time to write which I don’t mind but I do go to college and have to read books weekly but I will write as much as I can on my free time :)
Don't hate me, i left a cliffhanger ;) hope you all enjoy!
———————————-
Chapter two
Waking up to the sound of my phone ringing loudly, which I assume was the doing of my lovely friend, I grabbed it while still having my eyes closed. I didn't know what time it was or who would be calling me (because I didn't bother checking) but I hope they have a reason to why they would be calling and waking me up.
"Good morning sleeping beauty! Rise and shine we are leaving in an hour so get your ass out of bed and come to the front of the campus. I'll wait here for you with coffee." I wasn't aloud to let out a hello from Micheal talking fast and hanging up right after finishing talking. I don't know how he even has this much energy so early in the morning.
Getting up with a groan and sitting on the edge of the bed to take a minute of my surroundings, I looked at the time on my phone that was still in my hand to see that it was seven in the morning. Geez I wonder at what time Micheal got up this morning.
Since I took a shower last night and had everything packed I just freshened up and changed in some decent but comfortable clothing, and since it was cold outside I made sure to cover myself to keep myself warm.
Arriving to the front of the school I was able to see how I was probably the last one to arrive but gladly was able to see I wasn't. Looking around for Micheal, I was able to find him talking to I'm guessing it was one of the advisors that will be joining in the trip. Heading over to them I smiled at both of them and greeted the advisor with a good morning, even though it wasn't a good morning with the cold weather.
I looked around while they both talked, I didn't want to be rude and eavesdrop on their conversation.
After the other advisors arrived we made a straight line and made us sign in, while we started getting on the bus. We handed our bags to the bus driver where he later placed them in a storage compartment under the bus. I had every intention of heading to the very back, but Micheal pulled me by my arm and with his head he pointed to the middle seats. I rolled my eyes, but didn't say anything because all I wanted was to catch up on some sleep.
Once everyone was on board we started to make our way up to the nearest werewolf pack, which for our luck it was the royal pack.
The Royal werewolves where like the king and queen of England but they ruled over the werewolves and were more old fashioned. At least, that was what I heard from the others that had gone.
The ride over to the pack was supposed to be around an hour, so I made myself comfortable and put my earphones in and closed my eyes while I enjoyed the music. Lucky for me, Micheal had fallen asleep not even ten minutes into the ride so I was safe to take a nap without having to be bothered by him.
Sooner than what I expected, I was already getting shaken awake and when I opened my eyes I saw that it was the advisor.
"Come on, we have arrived. Everyone is waiting outside." I looked to my right and saw that Micheal was gone as well. I can't believe he left me, so much for being on my side at all times.
I met everyone outside, noticing that they were all gossiping and talking among each other. I pushed through the crowd of people, making my way towards the front of the group to see what was going on. I was able to spot Micheal right away but what caught my attention was that there was a girl on his arms. Walking over to him, I tapped him on his shoulders causing him to turn around. Once he noticed it was me he gave me an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry I left behind but you wouldn't wake up at all and I kind of got pulled out from the bus." He gave a side glance towards the girl on his arms. Looking at her who surprisingly was almost my height, I saw how she was glaring at me. The glare was so hard that I swear I would have been dead if a glare was able to kill someone.
I raised my hands up in surrender. "We are friends, nothing more I swear. I fully respect the mate bond."
I had heard from a literature that it was best to submit to the werewolf community, no matter what it was for but especially when it came to having friends with mates. I didn't really believe that they would be super possessive but by the way she was looking at me I guess I was wrong.
After a couple of minutes her glare softened and gave me a smile. "I'm sorry, my wolf doesn't really like it when other girls talk to our mate but she seemed to have read you and liked you."
Read me? I glanced at Micheal but he just shrugged, just as confused as I was.
The voice of a man caught my attention, causing me to walk to where I was standing next to Micheal and looked to where the man was which wasn't far from us.
"Hello everyone, my name is Christian and I will be your leader for today's tour. Over there with the tall handsome man is my sister Christina who is in fact my twin and she will also be joining us in this tour. If you have any questions, don't be scared to ask either of us, we won't bite." He sent a wink while smirking after making the bite comment. Some people laughed at the irony and some just looked scared.
"So, you all will be following me while my sister stands in the back taking care of everyone to make sure no one drifts away. With that, we ask that you do not touch anything and try your best not to drift away from the group. We do have guards in almost every corner and they won't be as nice as Christina or me will be, if you are caught wondering off. We do want you to enjoy the tour and learn about us and our culture." He started walking and we all followed. I decided to stick with Micheal and Christina in the back, but made sure to not look like a third wheel next to them.
We walked deeper into the woods and while we walked, I looked around to see how tall and big the trees were. Christian was talking about the werewolves nature and how they shift and run through this woods, but only on the other side of the walls where it was safer for them.
I stopped looking around when I heard people's gasps. In front of us was a castle like building. Tall walls made of gray stone stood strong and acted as a barrier to their territory. I couldn't help but to think of how the whole thing made the woods look darker and scarier than they actually were. Despite the eerie feeling, it also gave off the sense that you were about to meet royalty. Which in a way, we were about to go into a castle where the queen and king lived.
"This here was the first thing built. The stone walls go up to 15 feet tall and in some parts they go taller. They surround almost 8 thousand acres, but we have added more to the pack. At this point we have lost how much acres we have. This here," he pointed to the fence but didn't touch, "are made of pure iron and yes the plants that you all are near by are wolfsbane. We have this in case there is any rouges." He stopped talking when a guy raised his hand and started talking.
"What is a rouge?" Christian gave a small smile at him, "A rouge is a wolf that doesn't belong to anyone, has gone mad if you say. They are ones that have either been kicked out or have lost their mind in some way, maybe lost a loved one, which usually happens when a wolf loses its mate." I heard Christina whimper, causing me and others near me to look at her , she was holding Micheal as if her life depended on him which in a way it did.
The gates opened up without having to press anything, "I used the mind link to get the guards to open the gates," he laughed and continued walking inside.
I looked around and saw people walking around. There were women with children and some men training or hanging around. There were even some wolves that were bigger than I had imagined.
Christian kept talking about what they did in their free time. They seemed to do what us human did, they had jobs, they went to school, they had activities and events, they seemed so normal except the random wolves in the field.
We were taken into what looked like a small castle. It had a gothic structure, but didn't look scary, it looked fancy and welcoming. Going inside caused everyone to gasp. My eyes looked over my surroundings, understanding why there had been so many gasps. It was absolutely beautiful. Gold and white colored almost every surface. The chandeliers sparkled from how clean and bright they were, there was a staircase in sight but we didn't go up, instead we went down a hallway. The hallway was wide enough for us to walk through and have our space but the hall was decorated with so many things. There was clocks that looked older than me, picture frames with paintings on them, they seem to be the queens before the one they have, while the floors where covered in dark red carpet.
"So this here are the previous queens. We like to have them up here so when the next queen comes she'll know where she'll be and so we can honor them, as well." A girl raised her hand and Christian pointed to her waiting for her question.
"So you don't have a queen right now?" Christian shook his head and looked at the wall of queens.
"Not at this moment, we have been waiting patiently for the king to find her, but he is starting to get impatient so let's hope one of you is the next queen so we can all live in peace."
Another girl raised her hand and continued asking her question, "Are we going to meet the king?" Christian chuckled but nodded. "Yes, you will. Everyone meets him because we are looking for his mate. All the werewolves who don't have a mate are waiting at the town hall where our alpha is as well." Everyone started to whisper around, about how it would be cool if they were the one for the king and so on. I, on the other hand, was interested in the first picture of a queen. She looked so familiar but I couldn't think of a name. I didn't realize everyone had moved on and left me behind because when I snapped out of my trance it was by someone clearing their throat behind me, everyone was gone.
I turned around, feeling scared that I was left behind and that someone finding me meant that they could potentially hurt me. I looked around and saw no one in the hallways, not even Christina nor Micheal. They are so distracted with each other I bet they haven't even noticed that I was gone.
I looked back to the guy in front of me. He was taller than me, like way taller, he might have been around six feet tall which, in comparison to me who was barely 5'3, was tall. He was beautiful, captivating and I found it hard to look away even though I knew I should. His green honey eyes were staring back, holding me in place. I wanted to push the hair that fell into his face away, but knew better then to go touching some random guy's face.
Finally he spoke, cocking his head to the side as if he was curious, "Are ya lost?" The accent he spoke with took me off guard. I did not expect that because Christian nor Christina had accents, so why did he?
I wanted to speak, but all my mouth was doing was opening and closing like a fish desperate for water. He furrowed his brows and came closer to me, touching my arm. The trance I was in was broken with the shock I felt in my arm. "Ow! What was that?" I looked down at where he touched me and saw that there was a mark. A mark that I had never had before, it looked like a crescent moon.
I placed my hand over the moon like mark and looked up at the guy, who was staring at my arm in shock before he looked at me with a crazy look in his eyes.
In a blink of an eye I was pinned up to the wall, both his hands next to my head. His face was very close to mine and the only thing I could think of was the smell that surrounded me. He smelled so good and for some reason, I couldn't help but to inhale and smell his cologne. I felt a hand on my face, causing me to open my eyes which I didn't know I had closed. When my eyes met his, his eyes were shining and looked greener than before. His face came closer to mine, eyes focusing in on my lips. The hand that rested on my face moved down to grip at my hips. I knew he was going to kiss me and I wasn't going to fight him on it.
*******************
chapter two is up also in wattpad! I know I left you all wanting more but wait for chapter three ;)
guesses on who the green eye guy is?
If you want to be in the tag list just comment and I’ll add you to it :) xx
Tag list:
@iam-a-painted-whore @heautifulharry @kaepm981
#Harry Styles#werewolf!harry#harry styles x reader#wattpad#werewolf#the king's mate#king harry styles
145 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Ruin of Kings Book Review
The Ruin of Kings Book Review by Jenn Lyons
Boy, oh, boy, was this a wild ride.
Those of you who have been following me for a while know that I occasionally delve into adult fiction here and there. I mainly stick to my vegetarian course of YA novels, but every once in a while I can’t help but pick up a slice of bacon, or in this case, an adult fiction book.
Or, even more specifically, I suppose it would be more accurate to say that it’s adult fantasy instead of fiction. High fantasy at that, which is characterized by a whole new world with fantastical elements and not just a novel in the known primary world with fantasy elements.
With that literary lesson out of the way, let me get started.
The Ruin of Kings by Jenn Lyons came recommended by one of my favorite book bloggers, Paperfury. She counted this as one of her most recent book obsessions she couldn’t stop thinking about and in general I trust her judgement (although she was way way off on The Queen of Nothing, yikes).
This massive installment is definitely not the short and sweet page length I’m used to with YA, and neither does it have the comforting and large font that makes me feel like an accomplished reader after just an hour of skimming.
No, this installment is large and beefy and could probably give someone a concussion if you threw it at them, so just keep that in mind.
The whole fantasy revolves around a boy named Khirin. Khirin is your typical fantasy hero, equipped with the luscious blonde hair and the sparkling blue eyes and most importantly, the wickedly sharp tongue reminiscent of a male character from the Cassandra Clare universe.
He’s sharp, he’s witty, he’s charming, and he also has terrible, terrible luck.
Or does he?
When you first meet Khirin he is being sold as a slave to the highest bidder. He’s cold, he’s injured, he’s starving, and he’s broken. You, as a reader at this point, are completely and irrevocably confused.
You’re thinking: Who is this boy? What is happening to him? Why are people betting so much money for him? What’s with this necklace around his neck? Where did he come from? Where are we? What world is this? Where is he going? What the hell is going on???
To say that Lyons starts out strong would be underhanded hyperbole. You are forcibly drop-kicked into the fantasy world of Qurr and its many raging empires and states, and putting them all together is frankly daunting and largely impossible until a good chunk of the book is devoured.
Frankly, I still have trouble figuring out all the locations and gods and god-kings and factions and lore and people and how they’re all related, Game of Thrones style. But that’s part of the fun.
One of my biggest complaints with YA is that the reader is generally treated like they’re pretty stupid.
Often a YA author feels the need to explain every single iteration and modicum of interaction between their characters or spend too much time describing things, and it leaves very little for interpretation or inference on the side of the reader. Lyons is almost the complete opposite, which is as refreshing as it is frustrating.
As you are introduced to Khirin and this gargantuan universe that Lyons has created, you will feel stupid. To be fair, I enjoyed it most of the time. I relished the challenge of learning to differentiate all the different families of the Court of Gems, of distinguishing the Goddess Thaena from the Goddess Tya.
I liked when I was finally able to smugly look at the map at the beginning and recognize all of the city states like Doltar or Kirpis or Manol. I liked when I understood the different races like the Thriss or the vané and the implications of what that meant.
If that was a whole load of word vomit for you, that’s okay.
Again, it’s part of the fun.
What I do want you to get out of this, however, is the knowledge that Lyons has created an expansive universe with multiple creatures, including dragons and witches, rivaling royal families, gods reminiscent of the Greek Gods and their interference with human affairs, a rivaling world split with so many seams that you’re not even sure who to root for, an emperor, magical jewelry, demons and even a dose of piracy and musical competition.
This book honestly has a little of everything — which, to be fair, it should, considering how damn long it takes to get through it’s never-ending pages.
To make this as simplified as possible, the plot goes like this:
Khirin is sold into slavery and finds himself in the hands of a group called the Black Brotherhood. Over time, Khirin learns about this group and their intentions, learns more about himself and the Stone of Shackles (the necklace he wears around his neck), divulges his past and how he got sold into slavery in the first place-his upbringing, his musical talent, his stay at the Blue Palace, his eventual betrayal at the hands of someone he loves.
You learn over the course of each chapter what brought Khirin to his current fate and more of what he is trying to do now,: which is to return home and save the world from the likes of the two main antagonists (although not all of them by any means), Gadrith and Darzin.
I’m not exaggerating when I say that is the most bare- bones summary I have ever written. But honestly, this book is about a hero named Khirin and his adventure to rid the world of evil as he learns about himself and his past.
Like many, many, other books before it, this book explores what it means to be a hero, what it means to be a god, what it means to be involved with the fight of good vs. evil. This book is not special in that sense regarding these themes.
However, there are some really cool aspects of this novel that I thoroughly enjoyed that I’ll relay now that the summary (as condensed as it is, sorry) is out of the way.
The two things I enjoyed most about this book were the writing itself and the POV. Most high fantasy novels that I’ve attempted to read have this ridiculous notion that every character must speak in some dead medieval language rife with historical inaccuracies and banal, clipped speech. Lyons does nothing of the sort.
Her characters are creative and crass and downright funny. The dialogue is immersive and natural and oftentimes, other than the backdrop of a dragon or lizard-people, it felt like two modern-day people were having a conversation, which I greatly appreciated.
Lyons is also a very big fan of building up her writing and then smacking you down at the pinnacle. For example:
“Before us lay the Mother of Trees.
I didn’t understand what I was seeing. I couldn’t comprehend. It just seemed like a humongous wall at first, one that had been built up with palaces and verandas, graceful pavilions, and stained-glass windows glittering like jewels. Only when I looked up could I perceive the sweep of branches, the distance velvet of green leaves. This was a tree to hold up the whole world, the sort of place where Galava must live, if any place were consecrated to her. It seemed ageless and immortal, a tree that had always and would always exist.
Naturally, we were setting it on fire.”
I personally found this style of writing hilarious. Lyons often built up the tension, beauty, or conflict, and then would deliver these one-liners that would leave me gasping with laughter. This creative juxtaposition was super enjoyable and one that made the book a big success for me.
Secondly, while this book is told almost entirely (keyword almost -there are some outlier chapters) from Khirin’s perspective, it technically oscillates between present Khirin and past Khirin.
The whole book switches from one timeline to another every other chapter, with the chapter starting with Khirin being sold into slavery being the “present” and told from Khirin’s first-person POV and then switching the next chapter to his “past” and being told from Khirin’s third-person POV.
I loved this. I thought this was so creative, and up to this point, I have never seen this done in another book. The subtle shift from first to third person every chapter, but still from the perspective of the same character, was so interesting and complex.
I loved that we were simultaneously getting current-day Khirin, but also Khirin from two years ago telling us the events that led up to the present. It was imaginative and intriguing, and I loved trying to fill in the holes before the book presented me with it (which even then was difficult).
In addition, throughout the whole book are also footnotes from another crucial character that offer information, clarification, and also humor. While I’ve primarily read footnotes in academic papers to cite sources or offer commentary, these footnotes were just as fictional as the rest of the story, but offered insight outside of Khirin that was often dripping in sarcasm, irony, or humor.
I thought it was another really creative way for Lyons to get across information without boring everyone half to death or releasing a 100- page guidebook to help you along.
Bottom line, people,: This book isn’t for everyone. High fantasy in general is not for everyone. That’s okay. It’s not usually my taste either, at least not the adult fictional kind, but something about this book really intrigued me.
Moreso than the actual plot, which is confusing, I enjoyed the writing, the suspense, and the act of playing detective. It’s been so long since I’ve read a book that’s made me think this hard, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. That being said, the same praise is a double-edged sword.
If you don’t want to have to think and draw out charts and make graphs on Excel, then perhaps this is not the book for you.
If you don’t like high fantasy or made-up worlds, or very interconnected family dynamics, then this is not the book for you. This book also contains elements that can be triggering to some, like rape, drugs, character death, violence, imprisonment, slavery, etc.
When I say this book has everything, I mean it has everything. And that can be good or bad depending on the person. For me, I liked it. However, I did get frustrated at certain points at the lack of clarification more than once, just for full disclosure.
Recommendation: If you’ve been bereft ever since the Game of Thrones disaster-of-a-finale, then you are not alone. The Ruin of Kings has everything you’ve ever wanted in a high fantasy book: action, kings, queens, palaces, war, dragons, magic and so much more.
This book was creative and funny and complex, and if you’re willing to sink your teeth and time into a universe that demands attention then you’ll find yourself rewarded with a brand-new world to fall in love with and characters that you can’t seem to forget.
Score: 8/10
#the ruin of kings#jenn lyons#popular fiction#books#book blog#book review#fiction#Book Recommendations#booknerd#writing#fantasy#high fantasy
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
h e a d c a n o n s, pt. 1
( tw: mentions of eating disorder )
When Lia is drunk/ tipsy she likes to act our favorite movie scenes—even if she’s alone. Most recently was the titanic scene (where she also got her knee suck in the balcony). She can quote all of the legally blonde courtroom scene and definitely knows the mean girls Christmas dance as well.
When Lia bakes, she has this small habit of humming or singing when she does so. Interestingly enough, for how involved baking is, she’d done it for so long she’s relatively good at shutting her brain down for a while when she does it. Or, at least, it takes all her energy to bake instead of overthink. It’s why she stress bakes so frequently and it’s also why she hums/sings when she does it. It’s mindless and she’d be embarrassed if anyone heard it–but she doesn’t always realize she’s doing it.
Surprisingly, while Lia’s favorite book is Pride and Prejudice, her favorite movie is Love Actually. She can quote most of the movie–as she can with most things she loves–and her favorite scene is when Hugh Grant dances to “Jump (For My Love)” by the Pointed Sisters. This is another scene she sometimes recreates when drunk.
Lia is not the biggest fan of Harry Potter. She doesn’t even know what house she’s in (its Ravenclaw but she can’t remember that). She never got into the series, never found it to be that interesting–magic didn’t quench her thirst the way some other books did…
Yes, that’s right. Magnolia Barnes was absolutely a Twi-Hard. You could not pull her away from these books–it was even worse since, at age 18, you’d think she would have had better taste. But no, she was #TeamJacob all the way. And yes, she did go see the movies when they came out. And yes, she did cry at the end. Don’t judge her.
Lia loves watching home renovation shows, though she literally has no reason to watch the show. She’s never had to do a home reno in her life. But she likes to imagine a day when she would–she thinks she’d be quite good at it. Sometimes about being able to use her hands in a meaningful way strikes her as soothing–its why she likes baking so much. She doesn’t have proof she’d be good at it, but she has a feeling she’d be pretty good with her hands if she can make delicate pastries so well.
Lia loves college football. Like absolutely adores it. Big Clemson gal, Tiger Rag is her jam. She remembered spending fall weekends at their Lake Keowee home so they could easily drive over to Clemson and go to a home game. Hates the Gamecocks with a passion. Rivalry weekend was her favorite time of year growing up–it was so full of excitement and energy. In fact, the most heated you might ever see Lia out of an argument is walking a Clemson football game. And yes she knows exactly what’s going on down on the field and if you ask her one more time if she’s sure–she will throw a piece of pie in your face.
Speaking of Clemson, Lia wanted to go there for college–get her degree in English. But she also had high dreams to be the baton twirler on the field–the one who dots the i with whatever family they’re celebrating that day in the pregame ceremony? Yeah, she wanted that. She thought that maybe she could mix the two worlds of hers, her two areas of interest–but no, that was never to be the case.
Lia grew up going to State fairs every summer–but never an amusement or theme park. She has never been to a planetarium, and her first trip to an Aquarium was with Beckett. Her first trip to a Zoo was with Ryder. So sure she’s ridden some rides, but it’s never been like most people have. It’s her dream to go to DisneyWorld one day and somehow, someway, stay in the Cinderella Suite. she’s watched enough youtube videos to know that not one gets to stay there but contest winners and celebrities, but still–a girl can dream.
While her peers took their vacations in Paris, Nice, Monaco and Italy, Lia’s father preferred north–like Amsterdam. Which, to be fair, was really very nice and Lia liked going. She even had a friend, Tess, who she’d hang out with when they would go on holiday as they called it. Tess was cool–she was into collecting model trains and really liked to read also. But then Tess’s parents sent her to boarding school after they had found out that she had been chatting with people online that she shouldn’t have been. Lia thought that sounded awfully harsh and hoped her parents would never do something like that to her. (Oh, irony)
When she’s sick, she doesn’t want chicken noodle soup, she wants wonton soup. Why? She doesn’t know, but she’s never liked chicken noodle soup. She thinks its the mushy carrots and celery. But wonton soup is essentially the same thing, but with a wonton and better flavor. She likes hers with spinach.
If toast is cut diagonal, she can’t eat it. Vertical squad for the win.
Big Bon Appetit fan. The quickest way to make her smile is to make her watch an episode of “one of everything” or “gourmet makes”. she might have a small crush on alex delany but we don’t talk about that.
Lia believe in aliens but not ghosts. She’s not big on conspiracy theories either–but she might be tempted by the stories at Denver Intentional Airport. She just can’t accept that humans are the only living things in the universe. That’s a lot for her–but she doesn’t go actively searching for them. Ghosts, on the other hand–she just never believed in them. Why would anyone want to haunt someone? Seemed like a weird power play to her. And no, despite what some people at the Malnati think, the moon is not made of cheese.
Lia is obsessed with spreadsheets. If you asked her what the dorkiest thing about her was–she’d tell you it was her planner and spreadsheets. She has a spreadsheet for probably every aspect of her life. her planner–which is really a bullet journal–is how she keeps track of things when she can’t get on her computer, but she has one for chores, her books, work, her bucket list, hell–even a bachelorette watch party she had a few years ago. She loves being organized.
Office supplies are her kryptonite. She absolutely loves blank notebooks and pens. She has a favorite pen for different things. Pentel RSVP RT Retractable Ball Point in black for everyday items, Staedleter fine tips felt pens for her bullet journal, sharpie pens for when she wants her notes to stand out, Zebra Mildliner for headers in her bullet journal or giving the pages shape. She is incredible persnickety on who can borrow what pen, and even keeps less important pens in her pencil bag just to lend out. And under very few circumstances will you ever see Magnolia Barnes using a pencil unless she has been required too. She hates the darn things.
Lia doesn’t swear–her mother taught her ladies don’t swear and while she doesn’t believe language as a gatekeeper for femininity anymore, the expectation still holds. So if you do hear her use a curse word, something is very very wrong.
Go to coffee order, you ask? Easy. Grande White Chocolate Peppermint Mocha with Blonde Espresso and Almondmilk and yes whipped cream. Sometimes she’ll get it with Raspberry instead. If its iced, it’s a tall and no whipped cream. However, she can also be bought over with a Venti Iced Guava Tea Lemonade with 8 pumps sweetener.
Lia has seen the Chatworth House–the house used as Pemberly in the Kiera Knightly version of Pride and Prejudice. While its not her all time favorite movie, she sure loves it still and begged her parents to take her one summer. They relented and it was everything she had dreamed of seeing.
It’s well known that Lia cannot dance–she often tells people she can only line dance and Viennese Walz, and the former only happens when she’s tipsy on PBRs.
Lia loves sleeping with windows open because she can’t sleep in silence. The white noise of the city helps relax her and and makes her sleep easier.
However, she must read in silence–any noise will distract her and she gets relatively grumpy if anyone interrupts her reading. She also adores reading by a window. She likes the way the natural lights illuminates the pages.
Words are some of Lia’s favorite things–she thinks they’re magic. So loves the way they sound and likes to think about the way they feel in her mouth and how they roll off the tongue. She does her best to take her time when speaking too–because if words are so important, its better to get them right the first time. (Although perhaps she would learn that getting it right may not always be nearly as important as saying something at all).
(tw: eating disorder) Not many people know this, but after the book incident, Lia has begun to go to therapy. Her counselor, Tonya, has been helping her try to work through what things are Lia and what things are Lia’s mother. They haven’t gotten to the eating disorder conversation yet–and Lia dreads it. because Lia has never used the term out loud–in fact, the only time it was ever spoken was by the doctor the night of the incident. She has never named it and technically never claimed it out loud–though she knows its true in her heart.
Lia hates pickles. Don’t know why, but she thinks they are gross. Also parmesan cheese.
Magnolia loves horses–perhaps not the extend of others, but she had grown up riding them and when she rode them, she always sensed a freedom that was just out of reach at home. Perhaps that was because who was always riding wit her, but she doesn’t like to dive deep into that. It complicates things (that maybe needed to be complicated, just sayin’). Leaving her childhood horse Butternut was like leaving a pet (something the Barnes did not have as Lia grew up). Butternut and her went on a lot of adventures together, usually along side Buttersquash and Jack. It was good squad.
Lia’ favorite dessert is Mrs. Whetstone’s peach cobbler–and she has pour her life’s work into recreating it since she never asked for the recipe before she left. Every time she tries, she feels like she gets a little closer, but its never quite right. But it does remind her of home and its one of those memories she loves dearly. Anyone who asks her, though, what her favorite dessert is, she’ll say cheesecake because nothing even compares in her mind to that cobbler and she doesn’t want something to try to do something that will never reach what she expects. And she does love cheesecake.
Favorite flavor of yogurt? Chobani Raspberry Lemonade. Its only available in the summertime, but boy is it worth the wait.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
|| pairing: Thomas Shelby x Reader
|| warnings: angst I guess? | so cliché | written by a non-native | a lot of swearing
|| word count: 1.975
|| summary: You seduce influential men for a living, the job being too much for you initially, because it usually ends in their killing, but the money you make, let’s say, helps your conscience. That is until it’s time to give up your current target - Thomas Shelby, the poor motherfucker and yeah ...I’ll say it... love of your life.
If someone were to call me a whore, I’d thank him.
My profession was far more irreverent than that, not leaving room for doubts or a healthy conscience. Healthy was my body however, as the amount of men I slept with was manageable.
I was far worse than a whore, because a whore’s intentions are clear as day.
She gets paid by a client, who – mostly – knows what he wants, they perform the act, he leaves, full stop. The service simply consists of sweaty skins rubbing against each other, a visceral dance being performed, the communication reduced to muscle contraction and crude sounds leaving parted lips. The one and only purpose being ejaculation, one’s body just a means to an end.
My service was a different one.
“Everyone’s a whore, Grace, we just sell different parts of ourselves.” A statement once made by my current target, victim or however you prefer to call it, meant solely for the ears of his blonde Irish barmaid.
That was the particular day, I realised, I was worse.
Far worse than everyone for there was hardly a part of me I didn’t sell to the person my clients wanted dead.
Paid I was not by simple working men who craved some sort of release or stress relief nor horny upper class arseholes who were bored shitless at home while also thirsting for power over yet another poor soul. Clients of mine, they desire quiet similar things but on a much bigger scale, outside the four walls of damp rooms filled with grunts and moans and vulgarity.
Priests worse than the devil they point at, politicians worse than the - I quote - “scum that votes for them”. To eliminate their competition, I shall seduce party leaders or gang leaders or bloody royals, anyone with too much influence for some other influential bastard’s liking. Make sure to involve feelings, in order to make their target emotionally vulnerable so they make mistakes and take risks and bullets for someone who doesn’t even care for them.
Let me rephrase that. Someone who shouldn’t care.
My first targets I indeed treated with cold professionalism, barely ready – but still ready to feed them to those sharks. My first two times, I actually witnessed the job being done, hiding behind doors or brickwork, apparently more involved than I told myself after all, drowning my guilty conscience afterwards in expensive booze, the most expensive they could offer, to remind myself what I was suffering for.
The money I earned was indeed more a regular whore could ever ask for, but at what cost?
The muffled gun shot I heard from afar the first time made my throat close up for real and for a solid two minutes I thought I was suffocating, wondering what the fuck they put in my tea and how naive I’d been to believe my client would let me live after being informed of his plans. Eventually I realised it was my own weakness strangling me which force I underestimated. Life’s little ironies.
The next stimulus that caused the contents of my stomach to rise up to my again closed throat was a thud behind closed doors which gave me a good enough picture of my target’s limp body colliding with the ground. He had proposed to me beforehand. I looked down a bridge that night.
After that I never again mustered up the sufficient amount of courage to attend the inevitable killings after a job well done. There was no third time. It made all the difference.
That had been the case until the gravelly voice on the other end of the line breathed out the two words I feared the most, ever since I cried into the sheets of my first and probably last target I not only pitied but loved. “It’s time.”
“No!”, I screamed at the device, before I could detain it. Fuck. They knew now. They knew I fell in love with Thomas Shelby and now refused to give him up. They knew they had to kill me for I was too much of a menace. The deafening sound of a disconnected line brought me back to reality. I tossed those bloody high heels to the side while sprinting down the street, barefoot, my delicate skin rubbing against the material closest to my personality: the stinking horse shit of Small Heath.
“You’ve saved me.” were the words Thomas had mumbled into my chest tightening with sadness and regret at three o’clock in the morning after I’d comforted him once again, reassuring him that the terrible screams and shots and shovels weren’t real, his subconscious still trying to process war.
“You’ve betrayed me.” were the words Thomas choked out as soon as I barged into his office, out of breath, wet cheeks and horse shit stuck to my soles. Of course he found out before I could save him. He was Thomas Shelby after all and my client just a criminal bakery owner, an amateur in comparison.
“Yes, Thomas.” was my short answer while glaring at the ground. It was spinning.
At any moment I’d throw up.
What was I to reply instead? “No, Tommy, not yet. In fact, I was about to tell you.” That he wouldn’t quite believe. “Tommy, I’m sorry.” That he would laugh or scoff at. “Tommy, I love you. More than anything in this world.” That statement would be either followed by an outburst or an unbearable silence, judgemental and heavy.
For a split second his eyebrows rose up in something I identified as surprise, then he composed himself again. His cold and distant expression however couldn’t hide the hurt I spotted in his glassy blue eyes. Just then I registered my own eyes stinging as tears were uncontrollably streaming down my pale cheeks. I made no sound, just stared at him, silently crying.
“Shoot me, Thomas”, I ordered, voice surprisingly steady. The crease between his eyebrows reappeared on his smooth skin, I so longed to caress one last time.
“What?”, he blurted out. I took a deep breath, exhaling shakily as my eyes darted to the presumably loaded weapon sitting atop some papers wildly scattered across his desk. This was it, then.
“Just get it over with!”, was what I wanted to shout at him. My emotions got the best of me, however. “I know, I’m in no position to make demands, but do me that favour, Tommy. It’s the best option for me.”, I ended up saying instead.
Curiosity washed over his face. He was no longer trying to hide his own emotions, serving as a cue for me. I owed him an explanation, at least that. “The other options, you ask? Being killed by that Jewish bastard for betraying him. I refused to give you up this morning, he probably already sensed my true feelings for you long before, that’s why he accelerated the process. That or the worst option. You killing him first, leaving me to live without you but with that crushing guilt. I’d have to end it myself eventually. You know me well enough, Thomas. I don’t have the courage to commit suicide. The parts I sold were all true in the end. That is how much I love you.”
He didn’t respond, didn’t need to. The grip around the gun he had picked up during my confession weakened, his hand visibly shaking. I was smarter than to act upon the sudden hope flooding my chest, trying hard to ignore it.
“In the bleak midwinter-“, I started then, interrupted by the loud clattering of steel against hollow wood. He let go off the weapon, the blue of his eyes now surrounded by a reddish rim. My lids immediately shielded my burning eyes from the scenario before me, my heart too broken to witness Tommy crying, not over me, not now.
Looking away, not seeing the consequences, that makes all the difference. All the difference.
How wrong I was. Hearing his voice, laced with sadness, barely above a whisper, that made it even worse. “Shut up!”, I hollered through my sobs.
“Actually-“
I opened my eyes again, seeing how it was of no use, nervously running a hand through my hair. “Please, shut up, Tommy! Don’t make this worse! For Christ’s sake, just shoot me! Fucking get it over with already!”
I didn’t notice the door handle being pushed down behind me, someone entering the room while I screamed at him in between pathetic sobs, fighting for breath afterwards, the oxygen not wanting to reach my burning lungs. Once again, I was suffocating, grabbing my throat with numb hands, panic and adrenaline rushing through my increasingly weaker body. As soon as I felt a pressure on my shoulder, I sank to my knees, coughing and choking violently. Somewhere in the distance I heard Polly’s voice, filling the room with curse words and instructions. The last thing I heard.
Countless voices overlapping, chairs screeching and the sound of heels clicking made me realise how busy hell was and how there was no light at all, just noise and heat nagging at my back pressed against a rather soft surface. That was until a searing pain shot through my head as a wave of harsh, glaring light flooded my blurry vision I recovered all of a sudden.
I moaned at the sensation, causing the noise to die down for a second. “She’s back!”, someone announced surprisingly thrilled and it took me a solid thirty seconds to recognise the voice that belonged to none other than Arthur Shelby.
Hell would’ve been busier and too good to be true.
“You had a panic attack.”
“You fainted, love”, Polly and Ada exclaimed in unison before I realised that I was staring at them, a bewildered frown plastered on my face.
“Tom?”, was the only syllable I managed to croak out before a painful coughing fit disrupted me. Probably for the better. To my right I heard an all too familiar voice mumbling my name, my head snapped into his direction.
“Why-“ I cleared my throat. “Why am I still alive?” The question seemed to amuse and sadden him all at once as the corner of his mouth twitched upwards, yet it never reached his eyes.
“I knew”, he finally spoke up. “I knew it all, just waited until you’d tell me. Alfie should’ve made a bigger effort, dealing with the Peaky Blinders, with me of all people, therefore I knew. Also, I knew that you actually loved me.” I gulped, feeling my lips tremble as I was close to crying again.
“You talk in your sleep. You also talk to Polly, about me among other things and Polly obviously talks to me and, you know, she’s never wrong.” That earned a satisfied grunt and a breathy chuckle from the rest of the Blinders.
“I- I don’t understand”, I finally confessed, looking up at him through my lashes. “You were about to shoot me for treason, weren’t you?” That made him look down and my stomach drop. I’d never learn, would I? Let that bloody hope and bloody hormones cloud my judgement every time. He’d have pulled the trigger eventually, if it wasn’t for me fainting.
“Actually, no. After I was informed of your client’s instructions I lost my patience. The gun wasn’t loaded, I just wanted to point it at your head to get you to finally confess, to teach you a lesson, whatever.” A long sigh left his lips.
“Somehow I couldn’t even get myself to point an unloaded weapon into your direction, that’s how much I love you.” I shivered at his choice of words, the last part of the sentence sounding awfully familiar.
“If it’s not you who kills me, it’s him. You’re not the only one I deceived”, I insisted.
“A dead man can hardly harm you”, he chuckled in response.
41 notes
·
View notes
Photo
I had a fragile but agreeable life: a job as an assistant at a small literary agency in Manhattan; a smattering of beloved friends on whom I exercised my social anxiety, primarily by avoiding them.
--
I wanted to make money, because I wanted to feel affirmed, confident, and valued. I wanted to be taken seriously. Mostly, I didn’t want anyone to worry about me.
--
Conversation with the cofounders had been so easy, and the interviews so much more like coffee dates than the formal, sweaty-blazer interrogations I had experienced elsewhere, that at a certain point I wondered if maybe the three of them just wanted to hang out.
--
They wore shirts that were always crisp and modestly buttoned to the clavicle. They were in long-term relationships with high-functioning women, women with great hair with whom they exercised and shared meals at restaurants that required reservations. They lived in one-bedroom apartments in downtown Manhattan and had no apparent need for psychotherapy. They shared a vision and a game plan. They weren’t ashamed to talk about it, weren’t ashamed to be openly ambitious. Fresh off impressive positions and prestigious summer internships at large tech corporations in the Bay Area, they spoke about their work like industry veterans, lifelong company men. They were generous with their unsolicited business advice, as though they hadn’t just worked someplace for a year or two but built storied careers. They were aspirational. I wanted, so much, to be like—and liked by—them.
--
It was thrilling to watch the moving parts of a business come together; to feel that I could contribute.
--
What I also did not understand at the time was that the founders had all hoped I would make my own job, without deliberate instruction. The mark of a hustler, a true entrepreneurial spirit, was creating the job that you wanted and making it look indispensable, even if it was institutionally unnecessary.
--
I wasn’t used to having the sort of professional license and latitude that the founders were given. I lacked their confidence, their entitlement. I did not know about startup maxims to experiment and “own” things. I had never heard the common tech incantation Ask forgiveness, not permission.
--
I had also been spoiled by the speed and open-mindedness of the tech industry, the optimism and sense of possibility. In publishing, no one I knew was ever celebrating a promotion. Nobody my age was excited about what might come next. Tech, by comparison, promised what so few industries or institutions could, at the time: a future.
--
“How would you explain the tool to your grandmother?” “How would you describe the internet to a medieval farmer?” asked the sales engineer, opening and closing the pearl snaps on his shirt,
--
Good interface design was like magic, or religion:
--
The first time I looked at a block of code and understood what was happening, I felt like nothing less than a genius.
--
Anything an app or website’s users did—tap a button, take a photograph, send a payment, swipe right, enter text—could be recorded in real time, stored, aggregated, and analyzed in those beautiful dashboards. Whenever I explained it to friends, I sounded like a podcast ad.
--
four-person companies trying to gamify human resources
--
... how rare the analytics startup was. Ninety-five percent of startups tanked. We weren’t just beating the odds; we were soaring past them.
--
While I usually spent sleepless nights staring at the ceiling and worrying about my loved ones’ mortality, he worked on programming side projects. Sometimes he just passed the time between midnight and noon playing a long-haul trucking simulator. It was calming, he said. There was a digital CB radio through which he could communicate with other players. I pictured him whispering into it in the dark.
--
At the start of each meeting, the operations manager distributed packets containing metrics and updates from across the company: sales numbers, new signups, deals closed. We were all privy to high-level details and minutiae, from the names and progress of job candidates to projected revenue. This panoramic view of the business meant individual contributions were noticeable; it felt good to identify and measure our impact.
--
Was this what it felt like to hurtle through the world in a state of pure confidence, I wondered, pressing my fingers to my temples—was this what it was like to be a man?
--
I was interested in talking about empathy, a buzzword used to the point of pure abstraction,
--
The hierarchy was pervasive at the analytics startup, ingrained in the CEO’s dismissal of marketing and insistence that a good product would sell itself.
--
He just taught himself to code over the summer, I heard myself say of a job candidate one afternoon. It floated out of my mouth with the awe of someone relaying a miracle.
--
As early employees, we were dangerous. We had experienced an early, more autonomous, unsustainable iteration of the company. We had known it before there were rules. We knew too much about how things worked, and harbored nostalgia and affection for the way things were.
--
The obsession with meritocracy had always been suspect at a prominent international company that was overwhelmingly white, male, and American, and had fewer than fifteen women in Engineering.
--
For years, my coworkers explained, the absence of an official org chart had given rise to a secondary, shadow org chart, determined by social relationships and proximity to the founders. Employees who were technically rank-and-file had executive-level power and leverage. Those with the ear of the CEO could influence hiring decisions, internal policies, and the reputational standing of their colleagues. “Flat structure, except for pay and responsibilities,” said an internal tools developer, rolling her eyes. “It’s probably easier to be a furry at this company than a woman.”
--
“It’s like no one even read ‘The Tyranny of Structurelessness,’” said an engineer who had recently read “The Tyranny of Structurelessness.”
--
Can’t get sexually harassed when you work remotely, we joked, though of course we were wrong.
--
I was in a million places at once. My mind pooled with strangers’ ideas, each joke or observation or damning polemic as distracting and ephemeral as the next. It wasn’t just me. Everyone I knew was stuck in a feedback loop with themselves. Technology companies stood by, ready to become everyone’s library, memory, personality. I read whatever the other nodes in my social networks were reading. I listened to whatever music the algorithm told me to. Wherever I traveled on the internet, I saw my own data reflected back at me: if a jade face-roller stalked me from news site to news site, I was reminded of my red skin and passive vanity. If the personalized playlists were full of sad singer-songwriters, I could only blame myself for getting the algorithm depressed.
--
As we left the theater in pursuit of a hamburger, I felt rising frustration and resentment. I was frustrated because I felt stuck, and I was resentful because I was stuck in an industry that was chipping away at so many things I cared about. I did not want to be an ingrate, but I had trouble seeing why writing support emails for a venture-funded startup should offer more economic stability and reward than creative work or civic contributions. None of this was new information—and it was not as if tech had disrupted a golden age of well-compensated artists—but I felt it fresh.
--
I had never really considered myself someone with a lifestyle, but of course I was, and insofar as I was aware of one now, I liked it. The tech industry was making me a perfect consumer of the world it was creating. It wasn’t just about leisure, the easy access to nice food and private transportation and abundant personal entertainment. It was the work culture, too: what Silicon Valley got right, how it felt to be there. The energy of being surrounded by people who so easily articulated, and satisfied, their desires. The feeling that everything was just within reach.
--
We wanted to be on the side of human rights, free speech and free expression, creativity and equality. At the same time, it was an international platform, and who among us could have articulated a coherent stance on international human rights? We sat in our apartments tapping on laptops purchased from a consumer-hardware company that touted workplace tenets of diversity and liberalism but manufactured its products in exploitative Chinese factories using copper and cobalt mined in Congo by children. We were all from North America. We were all white, and in our twenties and thirties. These were not individual moral failings, but they didn’t help. We were aware we had blind spots. They were still blind spots. We struggled to draw the lines. We tried to distinguish between a political act and a political view; between praise of violent people and praise of violence; between commentary and intention. We tried to decipher trolls’ tactical irony. We made mistakes.
--
I did not want two Silicon Valleys. I was starting to think the one we already had was doing enough damage. Or, maybe I did want two, but only if the second one was completely different, an evil twin: Matriarchal Silicon Valley. Separatist-feminist Silicon Valley. Small-scale, well-researched, slow-motion, regulated Silicon Valley—men could hold leadership roles in that one, but only if they never used the word “blitzscale” or referred to business as war.
--
“Progress is so unusual and so rare, and we’re all out hunting, trying to find El Dorado,” Patrick said.
“Almost everyone’s going to return empty-handed. Sober, responsible adults aren’t going to quit their jobs and lives to build companies that, in the end, may not even be worth it. It requires, in a visceral way, a sort of self-sacrificing.”
Only later did I consider that he might have been trying to tell me something.
--
Abuses were considered edge cases, on the margin—flaws that could be corrected by spam filters, or content moderators, or self-regulation by unpaid community members. No one wanted to admit that abuses were structurally inevitable: indicators that the systems—optimized for stickiness and amplification, endless engagement—were not only healthy, but working exactly as designed.
--
The SF Bay Area is like Rome or Athens in antiquity, posted a VC. Send your best scholars, learn from the masters and meet the other most eminent people in your generation, and then return home with the knowledge and networks you need. Did they know people could see them?
--
I couldn’t imagine making millions of dollars every year, then choosing to spend my time stirring shit on social media. There was almost a pathos to their internet addiction. Log off, I thought. Just email each other.
--
All these people, spending their twenties and thirties in open-plan offices on the campuses of the decade’s most valuable public companies, pouring themselves bowls of free cereal from human bird feeders, crushing empty cans of fruit-tinged water, bored out of their minds but unable to walk away from the direct deposits—it was so unimaginative. There was so much potential in Silicon Valley, and so much of it just pooled around ad tech, the spillway of the internet economy.
--
Though I did not want what Patrick and his friends wanted, there was still something appealing to me about the lives they had chosen. I envied their focus, their commitment, their ability to know what they wanted, and to say it out loud—the same things I always envied.
--
I wanted to believe that as generations turned over, those coming into economic and political power would build a different, better, more expansive world, and not just for people like themselves. Later, I would mourn these conceits. Not only because this version of the future was constitutionally impossible—such arbitrary and unaccountable power was, after all, the problem—but also because I was repeating myself. I was looking for stories; I should have seen a system. The young men of Silicon Valley were doing fine. They loved their industry, loved their work, loved solving problems. They had no qualms. They were builders by nature, or so they believed. They saw markets in everything, and only opportunities. They had inexorable faith in their own ideas and their own potential. They were ecstatic about the future. They had power, wealth, and control. The person with the yearning was me.
--
could have stayed in my job forever, which was how I knew it was time to go. The money and the ease of the lifestyle weren’t enough to mitigate the emotional drag of the work: the burnout, the repetition, the intermittent toxicity. The days did not feel distinct. I felt a widening emptiness, rattling around my studio every morning, rotating in my desk chair. I had the luxury, if not the courage, to do something about it.
--
As I stood in the guest entrance, waiting for the stock plan administrator to collect the paperwork, I watched my former coworkers chatting happily with one another in the on-site coffee shop and felt, wrenchingly, that leaving had been a huge mistake. Certain unflattering truths: I had felt unassailable behind the walls of power. Society was shifting, and I felt safer inside the empire, inside the machine. It was preferable to be on the side that did the watching than on the side being watched.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Chapter 13: The Secret Riddle
Something that I noticed during this chapter is that Dumbledore, after he had shown Harry another memory, interprets the scene for him. Therefore Rowling interprets the scene through the character of Dumbledore for her audience. This isn’t the first time. Especially Hermione (but also Dumbledore) functions often as an Exposition character, someone who gives Harry vital information about the Wizarding World, as well as interpreting certain situations for Harry, for example Cho’s emotional state on their horrible first date. In this case Dumbledore (therefore Rowling) wanted to make sure Harry (therefore the audience) pays attention to the right details when it comes to Voldemort. I’m usually not a huge fan of a writer trying to explain their story to me, but in this case it makes sense within the story.
“She appears to have brushed the necklace with the smallest possible amount of skin: there was a tiny hole in her glove. Had she put it on, had she even held it in her ungloved hand, she would have died, perhaps instantly.” – I wonder what kind of curse Katie almost fell victim to. Touching the necklace would have killed her immediately, but in her case even the smallest amount of skin caused severe damage. How exactly would the curse have killed her? What is it that happened to her?
“‘He only gave her ten Galleons?’ said Harry indignantly.” – Well, she could have bought a Hogwarts textbook from it. And maybe like one butterbeer.
“‘Ah,’ said Dumbledore, ‘perhaps she could. But it is my belief – I am guessing again, but I am sure I am right – that when her husband abandoned her, Merope stopped using magic. I do not think that she wanted to be a witch any longer. Of course, it is also possible that her unrequited love and the attendant despair sapped her of her powers; […].’” – I think for Merope magic has never been a good thing. Her father and her brother used magic against her, to oppress her, to the point where she was emotionally unstable enough not to perform any magic herself. She then eventually used magic to get Tom Riddle to fall in love with her, but the moment she stopped he left her, perhaps making her believe it was her being a witch that made him go. Being a witch has never been a positive experience for her, so the great irony is that the descendant of Salazar Slytherin, the mother of Lord Voldemort, no longer wanted to be a witch.
“‘Could you possibly be feeling sorry for Lord Voldemort?’ ‘No,’ said Harry quickly, ‘but she had a choice, didn’t she, not like my mother –’ ‘Your mother had a choice, too,’ said Dumbledore gently. ‘Yes, Merope Riddle chose death in spite of a son who needed her, but do not judge her too harshly, Harry.’” – Lily died for her son, died to protect him, chose death to save him. Merope chose death despite her son needing her; it would have been brave for her to choose life instead. Both Harry and Voldemort grew up as orphans, but the reasons why they had no parents taking care for them couldn’t have been more different. The one whose parents died for love became a good man, the one whose parents abandoned him became a monster.
“‘You mean he’s won a scholarship? How can he have done? He’s never been entered for one.’ ‘Well, his name has been down for our school since birth –’ ‘Who registered him? His parents?’ There was no doubt that Mrs Cole was an inconveniently sharp woman.” – Look, Mrs Cole might think that Tom is a bit strange and she is relieved that he will leave her orphanage, but still when a complete stranger appears to take away one of her children she asks the right questions.
“‘Here,’ said Dumbledore, waving his wand once as he passed her the piece of paper, ‘I think this will make everything clear.’ Mrs Cole’s eyes slid out of focus and back again as she gazed intently at the blank paper for a moment. ‘That seems perfectly in order,’ she said placidly, handing it back.” – Obviously this is the same magic paper the Doctor uses. #confirmed
“‘Well, we named him just as she’d said, it seemed so important to the poor girl, but no Tom nor Marvolo nor any kind of Riddle ever came looking for him, nor any family at all, so he stayed in the orphanage and he’s been here ever since.’” – We later find out that little Tom Riddle isn’t very fond of his name, and that is even before he found out that his father was a Muggle. The name ‘Tom’ is too common, not special, not the way Tom sees himself (he doesn’t even like that he shares his names with others). But it is so interesting that this is the name Merope chose for her son – the name of his Muggle dad. Merope, who no longer used magic, who no longer wanted to be a witch, gave her son a name that would leave no trace of his heritage. The only indicator to his Wizard ancestors is his middle name, Marvolo, so despite his abuse it is possible Merope still loved her father. Perhaps she had also given her son a Muggle name so that neither her father or her brother would find her son.
It is clear from what Mrs Cole tells Dumbledore about Tom that he is a psychopath. He doesn’t have any friends, he lies, he manipulates, he scares the other children. And there isn’t a defining incident that changed his personality, he has always been like this. Rowling avoids the stereotype to portray the orphanage as a horrible place – Harry mentions that the children look well-cared. From what we learn about Mrs Cole she has a genuine interest in the well-being of her children (and a little drinking problem). Her interest in getting rid of Riddle is more for the sake of the other children, who are afraid of him. There is no indication that Mrs Cole or anyone else at the orphanage has acted abusive, so in many ways Tom had a better childhood than Harry or Snape. The fact that Tom was a product of rape, that both his parents abandoned him, can be seen as a metaphor, that the loveless circumstances of his birth created a man who was never able to understand love himself. But little Tom Riddle doesn’t know this yet. It is no excuse for the frightening behaviour he already shows. And perhaps that is why he could never redeem himself in the end, because he has always been a monster.
“‘I can make things move without touching them. I can make animals do what I want them to do, without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who annoy me. I can make them hurt if I want to.’” – You remember the kind of accidental magic Harry produced as a child? Like making his hair grow back or magically escaping his bullies at school? None of those have the quality of “I can make them hurt if I want to”. Like if a child ever says something like that to you, congratulation, you found yourself in a horror movie. And he shows not a single bit of remorse about it. He is just fascinated by the kind of power he has over other people.
“‘I knew I was different,’ he whispered to his own quivering fingers. ‘I knew I was special. Always, I knew there was something.’” – And as Harry later remarks Tom’s reaction is quite different to his. He immediately believed Dumbledore when he learned that he was a wizard, because he already thought of himself to be special. To be different. Extraordinary. And even now, when he doesn’t know about Purebloods and the like, little Tom already has this mind-set that he is better, above all others, Muggles and Wizards alike.
“‘I haven’t got any money.’ ‘That is easily remedied,’ said Dumbledore, drawing a leather money-pouch from his pocket. ‘There is a fund at Hogwarts for those who require assistance to buy books and robes.” – How come the Weasleys never got any money from that fund? At least it is never mentioned. Does this fund only work for special cases like Riddle, who has no money of his own? Does it also apply to families with a low-income? Did the Weasleys simply refuse, too proud to take any money? Or does this fund no longer exist? (Though I doubt that Dumbledore as a headmaster would get rid of it)
“‘Was my father a wizard? He was called Tom Riddle too, they’ve told me.’ ‘I’m afraid I don’t know,’ said Dumbledore, his voice gentle. ‘My mother can’t have been magic, or she wouldn’t have died,’ said Riddle, more to himself than Dumbledore. ‘It must’ve been him.” – Already Tom associates Muggles with weakness and magic with power. He doesn’t believe his mother could have been a witch or else she wouldn’t have died. At some point he found out the truth however – that his father was a Muggle, that his mother was a witch, descendant from Slytherin, who still died after all, refusing to use magic to save her own life. Maybe that is where Voldemort’s fascination with immortality comes from – the belief that magic equals power, that used in the right way you can even avoid death, failing to see, as Dumbledore told him, that there are worse things than death.
“‘Did I know that I had just met the most dangerous Dark wizard of all time?’ said Dumbledore. ‘No, I had no idea that he was to grow up to be what he is. However, I was certainly intrigued by him. I returned to Hogwarts intending to keep an eye upon him, something I should have done in any case, given that he was alone and friendless, but which, already, I felt I ought to do for others’ sake as much as his.” – Even then Dumbledore saw that Tom was a psychopath, someone who could appear charming on the surface, but with no empathy for others, who already used magic as a weapon. I think that over the years Riddle perfected his mask of the incredible gifted young charming man, to avoid to draw any attention to his true nature. Dumbledore had seen glimpses of that true nature upon their first meeting, which is why he never trusted Tom completely.
“You will hear many of his Death Eaters claiming that they are in his confidence, that they alone are close to him, even understand him. They are deluded. Lord Voldemort has never had a friend, nor do I believe that he has ever wanted one.” – This perfectly corresponds with the second chapter, with Bellatrix’s firm belief that she is the closet to the Dark Lord and her anger when she learned that Voldemort confided in Snape as well. It is a part of Voldemort’s manipulative scheme, to let his followers believe they alone are his secret keepers, so therefore none of them will bond too much with the others. They all follow him, but as a group there are not united. Every single one of them is only interested what is best for them, not the collective.
“‘And lastly – I hope you are not too sleepy to pay attention to this, Harry – the young Tom Riddle liked to collect trophies. You saw the box of stolen articles he had hidden in his room. These were taken from victims of his bullying behaviour, souvenirs, if you will, of particularly unpleasant bits of magic. Bear in mind this magpie-like tendency, for this, particularly, will be important later.” – Obviously this will later make sense in reference to the Horcruxes, and the value Voldemort puts in certain artefacts, especially those that contain a certain history. But these little souvenirs he has here remind me of a psychopath who keeps souvenirs from his murders. And that is what his first Horcrux is after all – the diary only has personal value, as it is an evidence for the first murder Voldemort ever committed.
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
fastdiet
FastDiet.net
rick2303-blog
Sin título
fangirl-inthe-outer-rim
Jedi: Survivor Is Holing My Soul Captive
wagainer
WAgainer