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strawbs-screaming · 8 months

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☆ how the boxers react to being flirted with ☆

Sorry for dissapearing (again), i was busy damaging my hearing, enjoy my woobification teehee

Glass Joe

- Really depends on how you flirt with him, if its poetic or really straightforward hes gonna turn into a tomato

- hes not giggling, its just your imagination nuh uh

- he def rolls in bed like a rotisserie chicken while thinking about ur pick up line

- hes gonna try to flirt back until its just a competition of who blushes the hardest

Von Kaiser

- actual jaw drop from him, the more poetic the better

- in shock, his brain literally turns off

- has to check his pulse because GODDAMN his heart is beating harder than usual (You may have a heart palpitation, kaiser)

- you live rent free in his head now congratulations

Disco Kid

- right back at you, if youre a bit too straightforward he may need to tell you to slow down

- youre getting a response IMMEDIATLY. And i mean it, fresh out of the oven, thrown at you with some sprinkles on top

- giggling while he calls you cute names like sweetie, honey, baby etc etc

King Hippo

- nice try, HES AROACE!! (GET HEADCANONED IDIOT!!)

- he laughs it off while making it clear hes not into you or anyone

- flattered though, appreciates the fact that you were willing to go out of your way to approach him

- if he was not aroace or only ace, he'd just smile, the more poetic you go with him the better you have chance of making him go red

Piston Hondo

- hes suddenly cosplaying a cherry

- loves poetic rizz, will definitely go back at you until both of your flirting attempts sound like two lovers mailing each other in opposite sides of the world while one is at war

- if youre straightforward he just gets flabbergasted, like what do you mean there isnt a build up for it with 20 poems inbetween??

- cant focus rest of the day, hes internally screaming off a mountain

- the sight of you just makes his ability to focus evaporate

- draws and/or writes about you rest of the day

Great Tiger

- if you use something clever you can get a small blush out of him

- if you're the type to go for poetic lines youre gonna need to call 911 because his soul literally vanishes from existence, tiger dont go into the light stay with us PLEASE

- has to have his clones give him flirting advice because his flirting skills are not there (like 80% of my hearing)

- his flirting attempts are just "damn, are you a construction worker?, because you are a building." no matter how much he tries

Bear Hugger

- he makes his reactions clear, literally emotes while you flirt with him

- if youre poetic or straightforward he literally just says "woah"

- he just turns into that one cartoon wolf im not kidding, literal "ohh mama hubba hubba" from this man

- his flirting style is very straightforward, not "hey babygirl" type but "youre so pretty i would leave all my belongings and change my identity if it ment i could hold your hand" type, do you understand??

Don Flamenco

- replies 1.2 seconds after you, he needs to have the last word here (or last rizz in this case)

- literal mirror, the more more straightforward & atrocious your lines are the more straightforward his are going to be until it devolves into both of you sounding down bad, when they go low, he goes lowER

- poetic lines makes him have a heart attack

- its actually possible to fluster him

- unironically says babygirl to anyone hes flirting with when approaching, it doesnt matter how tall, strong or flirty you are, your gender doesnt matter, he can and will call you babygirl, its a gender neutral term for him, corners you while doing it

Aran Ryan

- evil cackling, if you put a organ over his laugh you suddenly get a scooby doo villain, he sounds less like hes flustered and more like hes about to detonate a nuclear bomb

- unhinged lines, ends up getting restraining orders thrown at him

- brings things he finds cool to flirt, ranging from flowers to rocks (he was a evil crow in a past life trust me his left eyebrow told me)

- cartwheels away

Soda Popinski

- maniacal giggling, even if its not THAT good & ridiculously straightforward

- his pick up lines unintentionally sound like god tier shitposts & end up working somehow

- corners you (in the romantic way) if you're really direct

- has the silliest giggle when flustered, literal "hehe" coming from this man that could snap you in half if he wanted to

Bald Bull

- you think the others are bad at handling flirting?? Then you havent seen bald bull because OH MY GOD HES ABOUT TO LITERALLY FLY OFF THE EARTH

- hes actually fairly difficult to fluster but once you find his weak spot hes gone from there

- cannot flirt back, blurts something dumb out like "sorry im all red pretty people make me nauseous"

- he literally goes (> - <) when blushing & covers his face with his hands

- the more direct you are the closer he gets to passing out

- stutters a lot (omg y/n is that you)

- Bull, this is bottom behavior

- people use the most unhinged pick up lines on him, someone once told him "let me milk you."

- his hands automatically go 👉👈 if hes too flustered

Super Macho Man

- Stop boosting his ego please, he may be flustered but youre kinda enabling him

- dumbest pick up lines

- also another unironic "hey babygirl" user

- if he doesnt know what to do he just throws money & valuables, 5000 dollars be upon ye

Mr Sandman

- oh my god he has the sweetest smile ever (if you dont go too straightforward), he doesnt blush a whole lot but he just chuckles a bit

- if youre direct, his jaw also drops like huh??

- his weak spots are poems & small gifts

- a little bit dense but once he gets it he smiles like crazy

- giggling kicking his feet whenever he remembers that

#punch out #headcanon #punch out wii #don flamenco #punch out headcanons #bald bull #piston hondo #glass joe #aran ryan #great tiger #von kaiser #bear hugger

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munamania · 3 months

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bitch post time!!!!!! many revelations ok last night's vibes were HEINOUS but it provided so much for me and lydia to talk about and now i am gonna share with you yippee storytime

k so we plan to go to this valentines day showcase thing that the college radio is putting on last night. mind you at my place of work where i pretended that i had a family emergency and had to go home cause i didnt feel like going into work yesterday morning lol idiot... i was so paranoid my boss was there in disguise or some shit it was stupid. sorry um. yeah so ok i was largely like this could be a chance for friend groups to come together and maybe ill be able to talk to sams roommate and also like i do want to see more live music and it's free! so. anyway ok wait let me tell u abt the first part of the day

so me and lydia drive over some wine bottles to sam for him to use as props in a film. and sam and the roommate are sitting on their porch and we chat a little bit acc sam said as i walked up 'you always look so suspicious' and i was like 'ok u guys were literally just staring at me' cause they WERE and roommate was actually really nicely like 'oh no you're okay' and generally was just kind of inserting into our convo which well i had fun with naturally. um anyway and then who comes running up but teko! our buddy teko. and sams like have yall met and im like Of course and teko gives me a hug and i cant lie it was actually so sweet. i am also extremely touch starved but it was a nice hug. anyway. then i had to help roommate pick shoes alongside teko's fit and then i was like um Ok Bye. when i got back in the car lydia was like so i saw a neon sweatshirt... and i was like yeah <3 that's my man <3 sorry ok vibes get worse as the night comes

me and lydia end up getting to sam's late to 'pregame' this show and ig it was supposed be like. it was encouraged to dress formally. and i was wearing a dress that was too small and my chappell red tights and docs. kind of a serve but me and lydia were serving much more valentines day than formal. anyway. roommate does swing around to be like hi! and THEN i see my girl chloe i looooove her shes so fuckin funny and weird and we made this weird little short together in class last semester and i was kinda intimidated by her so i was so happy shocked when she was like I was so excited to see u :D WEEE shes so cool guys and has the funniest fuckin laugh and well honestly the high points of the night were us and lydia fucking around and dancing and being weird and offputting wallflowers cause again this thing SUCKED. ok

we did also smoke beforehand and i accidentally took this huge hit and then thought id be fine w a little more but brother was i feeling funny. did not eat enough and didnt take water it was atrocious. so. we get there and let me tell you if I WAS WORKING i'd have been able to fix the fact that it was soooooooooo fucking loud in there like bad bad bad audio distortion etc i wanted to kick this dude off the mixer but like what ever... it hurt so bad. and the lights were mostly on until chloe and sam duped this guy into dimming some of them but even still it was giving middle school dance. without the fun cheesy music. some of my instagram gay people are there. um but sorry there was simply no way i was going near that dance floor like the bands lowkey highkey sucked (i mean it was just a bunch of white college dudes and they did not slay. shocker. sam kept being like 'they're so good' and we were like um haha... straight face emoji)

we acc disappeared for a while to another floor for the br and just chilled for like half an hour (and security came to find us lmfaooo but ended up just leaving) and i was feeling odd and out of body and too aware of how i looked and it was just not great i was like we're the only bitches serving cunt here... um. anywho. so like later theres a slow dance and roommate is dancing with this other girl i only know from instagram till this point and i suppose if i was really feeling myself i could have tried to make a move but i was not. once again. vile vibes in this place. like i dont mean to be a pussy i typically would be much more charming and fun if i wanted to flirt and kinda felt the vibe from them but i was not really enjoying myself LMAO

then some more of the friend group shows up at the end and sam's like 'drama is actively going down' and im like Wuhhhh the fuck and i feel like a few of them r looking at me and i was just like get me OUT of here but for some fuck ass reason was still like nooooo we should go over and have pizza w sam and them. forgive me for thinking they had like frozen pizza or smth and i could get some free food out of this no we had to sit there and wait for dominos or whatever

AND THE MOST ANNOOOOOOOOOOOYING AWFUL TERRIBLE GROSS MEN YOUVE EVER MET SAT THERE AND JOINED THE BRIEF SMOKE CIRCLE AND THEN WERE JUST THERE AND LIKE YOU COULD JUST FEEL THEM TAKING UP SPACE AND US 'GIRLS' WERE MADE TO FEEL SO SMALL ON THE FUCKING COUCH I WAS SOOOOOOOO TIRED. had to get a sweater cause i felt so uncomfortable. girl i really was only there in case i could have a saving grace moment with roommate im so serious. well and for chloe but otherwise me and lydia shoulda been outta there

literally chloe was so excited to show our little video to people and sam cut us off from getting there to show us the fucking fidget spinner game he has on his tv. girl get out! oh my fucking god. finally lydias like Cool anyway so - like sams misogyny jumped out in previously unprecedented ways. it was bad. these boys were truly making me want to kill myself im sorry like it was so bad i have curated my experience so as to be away from that for so long it was really jarring. and what you need to understand about sam is that he's almost died twice and kind of has a funny little gender vibe going on and so for a while now yeah we've gotten along through silly odd things we relate through but holy shit....... that was so offputting i cant even wrap my brain around it

also sam very much walked me into like yaoi-fying him and his best friend and then was like haha noooo why r u calling us gay ur so weird bitch just fuck him already im tired and also dont care.. hes so attention seeking and not used to um not being the center of attention. sorry! oopsies anyway so

so then im like ew like i kinda need to reassess um. the people im around. and again cant stress enough how gross and judged and just kinda old i felt surrounded by these ppl even tho theyre all like within a year of age? and like roommate still seems maybe cool but since we didnt actually talk and they were off w the other roommate/other ppl i cant help but associate them w the odd vibes but like. honestly idk i might just try to uh slide into their dms rlly casually. bc. well idk how the friend group is fracturing and it wouldnt surprise me if they were annoyed with sam esp living with him but obv i dont really know. but again let me stress this friend group has been friends since their freshman year like what r yall doing yeah u do need to break up....

so i figure since they're hot (and kinda tiny i cant tell if they're shorter than me or just right around my height) (but also they kind of scared me by giving Instagram face while posing for a pic last night i cant do any more people giving off dorian gray rn. but i was also under the influence so um that didnt help) i could just yeah be brave see how it goes and worst case scenario it's not a vibe yk. and best case scenario i get to hang w them and teko. teko so gives francis. anyway

OH also sam and the friends insisted on listening to this ai generated… thing like idk guys i think i was in hell fr

also had several men yell out of their cars at me and staring at me as we walked to the bus stop :/ so men really do ruin everything btw

um. so. that was the night! thx for reading if u did. i am excited to be around other fun silly cool queer people god bless fuck these people

#abby talks

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lilmissnatcat24 · 8 months

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m'love, thank you so much for this.

so basically it's a heist fic, post me1. (slight canon divergence because i know technically garrus and wrex weren't on the normandy when the collector ship attacked) but it flips back and forth between the moments before and during the collector attack and the past 2 weeks, where shepard and her crew have no memory.

they have no memory because!!! they were contacted by a woman named jack of diamonds (super cool and super eyepatch and super hot, in that order... also she's named jack of diamonds after my favorite campfire song from red dead 2 and this is like a little bit of a crossover inspiration fic) to steal this prothean device from a space station that could be used as a super weapon because it uses the same technology that sovereign used to turn humans into husks. this woman works for cerberus but shep is like?? ok with that?? (tbf she doesn't really know what cerberus is just yet so she's just like huh okay i guess i'll do it, also she has no reason to believe that cerberus would make a husk army becasue THAT lil chestnut doesnt happen for like 3 years) but the only way she'll let shep do it is if she and her crew implant a memory chip to their omnitools that will wipe their memory completely afterwards (this is the one thing i don't have worked out yet like maybe she has something on shep like she's blackmailing her for something??? yeah this is shaky tbd)

so shep and co have to steal this device. fullblown heist at some swanky party a la the capitol scene from catching fire. WREX IS HEISTING. GARRUS IS HEISTING. LIARA IS HEISTING. ashley and tali are like bffs (and maybe b plot they fuck? tbd) and of COURSE shakarian because how can i not. but sheppy is still a lil upset cuz kaidan is dead and she's had feelings for garrus but is afraid to do anything becasue she doesn't want to see another person she cares about killed but garrus is like huh i literally don't care if i live or die i want to tap that so desperately and also i love you. but of course he's a nerd so he can never just say that. cue hilarity and pining and fluff.

so they klep the device for jack of diamonds and drop it off and shes like hey thanks!!!! ily shep!!!!! except shep is super suspicious and is like hmmm this is weird. this jack lady is weird. we need to STEAL IT BACK because apparently she was going to target a colony with it and turn a bunch of innocent people into husks so that cerberus could study them (again this is a detail that has not been ironed out yet sorry if it sounds a lil sus just now)

and of course before this suicide run there's the steamiest and fluffiest sex scene known to man. you know what im like. they get into this big fight and shes like garry youre a COWARD you only tell me you have a thing for me when we know this memory chip is going to wipe our memories??? garrus tries to kiss shep and shes like NO PLEASE I CANT CARE ABOUT YOU and then exactly 2 seconds later shes like actually? lets fuck

so they steal the device back. they know their memories are going to be erased so they just kindve? dont care if they do something atrocious? because they wont remember? and i get so wet thinking about morally ambiguous shepard who is like super renegade (or at least paragade)??? anyways jack of diamonds is like hey you shouldnt trust cerberus this was their plan all along and shep is like literally i do not care bang bang bang ur dead xoxo

so yeah the plot is still a lil iffy. BUT I HAVE THE END ALL PLANNED OUT AND IM SUPER PROUD OF IT. that it's NOT some prothean device, it was tim doing his lil illusive thing. it was his plan to get shepard killed so that he could test out the tech used to revive her, and the device is actually a honing beacon for the collectors (because i literally never understood how the collectors found the normandy in the first place they had their stealth cores up and its never explained how theyre found and it's a plothole that PISSES ME OFF so this fic is literally made out of spite to explain it)

so yeah shep and co wake up after not knowing what happened, that lil love confession between shep and garrus doesnt happen, and shepard dies. so its sad? but not because then me2 happens and everyone is reunited and shakarian still happens yayayayya

so yeah typing it out like this also tells me i need to steam out the details a little bit more but i want to write this so badly and turn left is taking all of my energy so i think im going to try to double fist these two fics and see if i pop our sane.

anyways thank you!!!!!

#mass effect fanfiction #shakarian #shepard x garrus #ao3 fanfic

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thebatbites · 6 months

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for the ask game, 3?

3. which character do you think you deserve better? which caracter do you think deserved worse?

oh!!! okok!! i have a list here we go

deserved better

laurence. he is absolutely at the top of his list. whether in mcd or mystreet, laurence was one of the biggest characters who got absolutely mishandled. like youre telling me you make this cute, badass loyal dude who just suddenly up and dips to the nether????? what is that???? and in mystreet you reduce him to some kinda freaky stalker and then sideline his character?

garroth. because while garroth did not get sidelined what they did to his character is absolutely atrocious. mcd garroth is quiet, well-spoken, and shows his kidness subtly. while garroth in myst. is. not that. and absolutely dont get me twisted i love myst garroth. hes a silly man doing silly man things but by god they reduced his character to ash

kai. i know we hardly see kai but he deserved more than being reduced to minor villian #79 because he didnt like aphmau. if i had written pdh, i wouldve just completely done away with the date. because kais reasons for not liking her romantically were totally valid (not to mention i believe he was a senior which again. is weird. is so so weird). i think kai wldve been a cool background character that aphmau could talk to occasionally because hes just a cool dude. hes chill and funny and gave genuinely good advice. plus we dont see a lot of mei'fwa aside from kc and michi and i think it wouldve been cool to see more of that lore built up

now dont crucify me but ein. BEFORE EVERYONE GRABS THE TORCHES AND PITCHFORKS: im not saying that ein cant be a villian im just saying make him a BETTER one? because in my eyes his motivations are stupid. youre telling me he was upended my aaron in highschool and hes held a grudge ever since? for like 10 years? and i know he was manipulated but still bro get a JOB. not to mention the weird incesty crush they tried to retcon later. i think ein couldve been a cool villian if he went full incognito. no one, not even the audience, thinks hes a villian. he comes back into myst as an adult and apologizes. we think hes on their side until BOOM. betrayal. but even so i really wish he wasnt a villian because ein in pdh s2 was freaking adorable. he was shy and awkward and just a lil dork and it was refreshing to see that because every male character in aphmau is kind of big and bold so it was nice to see an outwardly shy character

deserved worse

gene. think im gonna get hatecrimed for this one but gene in myst was overall ✨unnecessary✨ aside from providing cheap tension to be resolved in a single episode. dont get me wrong. i love myst gene. love him to bits and pieces and crumbles. but what does he contribute to the plot? like actually?

aaron. i think its an overall general take that aaron got everything that the other characters didnt. which SUCKS. im going to ignore all of the weird other shit around his character and focus only on his character. hes a cool character. level headed, rational, loyal but still has his silly moments. but they tried so hard to make him some sorta tragic baddass. watching myst in order was like whiplash. like BOOM. SUDDENLY AARON IS AN HEIR TO A BIGASS COMPANY AND BOOM. FOREVER POTIONS AND BOOM. ULTIMA. AND BOOM HES DEAD. AND BOOM. HES ALIVE AGAIN. like huh????

pretty much every other character is a victim of writing slander in some ways but these ones eithee grind my gears or make me roll my eyes.

thank you for the ask anon, love u <3

#aphmau #mystreet #aphmau mystreet #aphblr #aphverse #aphblur #goingbatty #askthebat

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pesterloglog · 5 months

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Dave Strider, Meenah Peixes

Act 6, page 5263

DAVE: yeah i saw it

DAVE: i was looking up in space doing a little monster gazing right

#daves private chill time #eldritch red lobster #bargain seafood buffet #bored

DAVE: when suddenly i thought my glasses shattered

#ben stiller almost fucking tornadoed in his grave

DAVE: but it wasnt the shades turned out it was space itself that cracked

#fuckin relief #best bro gave me these

DAVE: and i listened and i heard the screams and killing and stuff

#monsters dying #ghosts dying #atrocious problems

DAVE: havent slept well since that

DAVE: well i guess im sleeping alright at the moment

#oh yeah #i forgot

DAVE: cause im here in a bubble talking to you but yeah in general my shuteye has been boned up the protein chute

#troll anatomy #lewd #maybe?

DAVE: keeping myself busy with awesome projects helps a bit i guess

#awesome projects

MEENAH: then you must want to kill the guy even worse than me

MEENAH: why dont you join me we can fly away and fuck him up together 38)

#what good is a cape even #if you wont fly away to clobber badguys

DAVE: nope

#nah

DAVE: appreciate the offer but im just gonna hang tight and work on my ebubbles

#dave_ebubbles

MEENAH: e what

DAVE: ebubbles theyre awesome

#how is this not awesome

DAVE: its just some ridiculous shit i figured out how to do here

DAVE: this whole place runs on memories so ive been messing around with that

#just as long as you dont ask me how #we are cool

DAVE: turns out i dont even really need the internet for shenanigans i can just exploit the afterlife

MEENAH: the fuuuck

MEENAH: i know youre down in the dumps kid but that sounds like a stupid waste of time

#stupid waste of time

MEENAH: now come on lets go whale on a cherub

DAVE: nah

#yes lets #just fucking with you #no

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: i think i might be "supposed" to kill him anyway?

#air quotes

DAVE: thats the feeling i get like there are all these clues about that ive kinda noticed

#remember that bullshit about the pimp being in the crib? #hahaha oh god

DAVE: so if i am THE GUY that needs to take him down then fine ill do that if and when i get hornswoggled into some big showdown with a ridiculous green space pimp or whatever he is

#i heard he has a gold tooth #are you fuckin kidding me

DAVE: i dont know i think im not really cut out for the whole reluctant hero shtick

#im better at comics

DAVE: like the whole scene is so obvious and trite and i cant even tell if my reluctance is ironic or if im playing it straight

#reluctant before it was cool #and before i was willing

DAVE: like ill wonder if im being reluctant enough to cut it or if im actually just being reluctant to be reluctant

#how reluctant do you even have to BE to DOOOOO something like etc etc #sbahj

DAVE: it turns into like meta reluctance and then all i can think about is how fucking stupid the whole thing is

#i also think about puppets sometimes... #unrelated

DAVE: i think im probably just too self aware for this hero bullshit so dont even waste your time on me

#ironic self pity

MEENAH: wow

MEENAH: sooooo cooooooool

MEENAH: NOT

#homestuck #dave strider #meenah peixes #homestuck act 6 #page 5263 #homestuck act 6 act 3 #openbound

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huekatta · 1 year

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doing this, simply bcs i can. am i a private blog i cant rly tell

1.) i have Tons of favorites. i dont think ive written anything i hate (except for that markhyuck robinhood fic? its atrocious cause theyre british). i think this one banger markren short fic i wrote, tagged nihilism.

2.) most popular is the noren time mage fic. it was mid for my taste.

3.) i rly wish the banger markren was more popular but i tagged it with '&' rather than '/' so it didnt rly reached the masses. why i tagged it with &? i was being self righteous.

4.) mcd. im so sorry but i just love it when. or maybe angst or past lovers. glances at my 3 not-happy-ending tyunning wips.

5.) meet-cute. i hate it. I HATE THAT I HAVE TO INTRODUCE THEM TO EACH OTHER. i have never met anyone Organically i think

6.) SEVERAL. uhm. mostly i think my ot5(?)/ot3(?) droid fic? i have the general gist but i think its too ambitious. so much world building and angst,, and for What

7.) theres this unrevealed yuwin crack fic around 20k. it was disgusting (written in 2019) and its abt exes (surprise!) that met again in a driving course thing (i dont have a license)

8.) probably the first fic? i used to write 600-800 and i couldnt break to 1k but lately most of my fics r 10k. anyway this question isnt abt that. my shortest was 400 iirc. nomin. oh my god it was mcd

9.) i think collabing is such a cool idea but im too territorial w writing and Very Shy. i dont think it will go well with me. unless im collabing with myself that is 4 beers deep, then i would

10.) "i can fit so many product placements in this bad boy", i love writing like this so much but then like 700 words later im probably trying my best to make u Cry

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jackedspicer · 3 years

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i feel weird all the time about doing so much f/m but at the same time i genuinely do believe in portraying f/m that isnt heteronormative and fucking weird.. ive said before that its really gender for me but its also for the bisexual gaze... its for those queer f/m lovers out there

#its just a niche like anything else. thats what i try to tell myself because i feel guilty about it All the time #theres SO MUCH f/m out there that is fucking atrocious in all forms of media and i cant even #spin this and say im making a point to do something better because im literally just doing my thing. If you think its good then cool #and if you dont then i guess suck me off or something idk. or dont. like its whatever

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lynxandbadger · 5 years

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stars

I make an edit every day for the rest of summer day 6 of 72

#gonna be real with you fam i did not put any effort into this one #the only thing that makes it vaguely acceptable is the colors are pretty #other than that #minimal effort #honestly i lost motivation for this one so fast alsdfkjsalfjsdlfj #if u couldnt tell lmao #but ive kept this going for 5 days i cant stop now !!!#couldnt even think of text to put on this one lol #the background looks cool but i lost steam from there #phil sweetie im so sorry ive put the least amount of effort into ur edits #ive spent the most time on the phil edits #(the other two not this one lol)#and the only dan edit i spent a lot of time on was yesterdays #and yet the phil ones are the worst ones alsdkjfslaj #sorry phil #72 edits #eloise edits #im not even putting this in the phil tag bc its THAT atrocious askdfjsldfjsa #rip also im still up late look at that lmao #im so hungry but i dont have food #also its almost 3am #rip rip rip #okay bye

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minamotoz · 2 years

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next class thoughts as i rewatch season 1

• #bootycall is an atrocious series opener im sorry

• everyone acting like zig playing guitar is the weirdest thing in the world is so ???? maybe if they listened to 'be my someone' by whisperhug they would understand

• tristan trying to market himself as degrassis first gay student council president makes me want to cry. HOW DARE YOU STAND WHERE MARCO ONCE STOOD

• miles hollingsworth is a gift to mankind

• this whole storyline where shay and lola become concerned with frankies mental health bc she got highlights is hilarious

• "you dyed your hair...we thought you might....kill youself." brilliant writing

• i hate jonah but frankie crying and venting to him while hes like 'ok😐 idc😐 can you get out 😐' IS SO FUNNY

• miles going on this fake deep 'NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS IF THEY ARENT POSITIVE' rant ...king of mental health awareness

• love how the rubber room kids are suddenly allowed in normal classes and are the cool kids after being portrayed as delinquents for two whole seasons... and how the rubber room has ceased to exist just like the gifted program

• "THEY GIF-ED ME"

• esme song and hunter hollingsworth my unhinged beloveds

• "mood killer" "im about to be a serial killer" i like grace sometimes

• maya 'horny on main' matlin

• i love my girl maya but her dunking that assholes phone in a drink was not the serve she thought it was

• miles and esme are such obnoxious assholes and i love it

• whisperhug reference? in MY degrassi next class??????

• this season is so fun but absolutely terrible for anyone coming into the show blind, almost all of the characters come off as insanely unlikeable

(more under the cut)

• everytime lolas family restaurant shows up i just think of "wait, if all the food here is mexican, what makes this place argentinian?" "me, obviously"

• god the maya feminism plotline is SOOO on the nose

• me listening to not okay: damn i wish i was listening to black or white right now

• damn tiny moves FAST

• winston my bestie you deserved way more screen-time

• i think people who hate esme just hate fun but thats just my opinion

• zig and tiny being mens rights activists im crying..... tiny i will save u...... zig you can die

• lolas masturbation plotline is so fun especially in comparison to the bleakness of miles drug addiction plot and the on the nose-ness of mayas feminism plot

• zig being personally offended that maya identifies as a feminist is SO funny im sorry

• i know i just said that miles' drug storyline is bleak as shit but him being high out of his mind and chanting 'LETS GO HUNTER' is so funny

• miles and esme popping pills in class theyre literally insane... this show is so camp

• im sorry i love the freaky little gamers so much

• love how hunter uses the word 'populars' in place of 'normie' because the degrassi writers were too afraid of actually writing hunter as a 4channer

• goldi is written as such a strawman im so sorry queen.....,

• hunter making some good points immediately followed up by him being insanely racist is so fucking funny

• im a zasha stan but oh my god the way they murdered gracevas in one singular episode is insulting

• "AM I HOTTER THAN JONAH? BE HONEST" never stop being zig novak, zig novak

• speaking of which have i mentioned how insufferable jonah is because god he sucks

• "youre not welcome here" "ooooh role reversal, fun!" ESME SONG I AM OBSESSED WITH YOU

• eric osborne was eating up every other mf in that cast

• as someone who really liked the zoë/zig dynamic in TNG, the whole 'having sex to get back at grace/maya' thing makes me want to die fr

• esme pulling the 'YOUR LIFE IS SHIT AND YOURE NOTHING WITHOUT ME' shit when miles tells her he wants to recover from his addiction... shes so manipulative but i cant hate her

• THE CHLAMYDIA EPISODE

• baaz vijay and yael i can fix u!!!!! i will save you from the grasp of hunter hollingsworth i prommy

• frankston is actually really cute this season if only frankie wasnt obsessed with JONAH

• the look of the school is so bizarre bc its the same building but everything looks so WEIRD its so uncanny valley

• ok, rape and death threats on twitter i can believe, but mayas address being leaked on REDDIT??????? im literally never getting over this its so funny. just make a fake kiwifarms if you wanted to make a plot about online harassment and doxing like KF existed in 2016

• miles hollingsworths back must HURT from carrying the shit out of this season

• "YOURE GOING TO DIE" i know i shouldnt think this but this storyline is so funny

• jankie is a pathetic excuse for enemies to lovers like holy shit

• i really wish we got to see a smidge of the gamers friendship dynamic this season though bc the way theyre written it just feels like the other 3 are clinging to hunter bc they have no one else while hunter gets them to help with his dumb revenge scheme. idk i wish their friend group in general was more fleshed out and less hunter-centric bc baaz yael and vijay just feel like non characters

• have i mentioned how much i love esme like omg shes such a piece of shit and its amazing

• that short little scene where hunter and baaz are tweeting more gross shit at maya and baaz is like 'ADD HASHTAG JUST SAYING' oh my god this is hilarious

• MAYA PLAY DIFFERENT SONGS CHALLENGE

• once again i love baaz yael and vijay they r so spoingy goingy <3 i love hunter but he can choke

• WINSTON MY BABY YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER

• none of the gamer kids are threatening because theyre all like 15 lmaoooo

• winston and miles are actually boyfriends i cant believe this

• zig novak i hope you die

• noooooo hunter dont do it dont pull a rick murray nooooooooooooo definitely dont shoot zig nooo

• comparing the lockdown in #sorrynotsorry to the lockdown in all falls down is like night and day lmao

• "he was there. he was easy" "what do you mean easy?" she means zig novak is a whore maya

• miles and hunter :( :( :( :(

• tears, zig? didn't expect to s-[GUNSHOT]

• baaz x shay is my new favorite crack ship

• spencer macpherson and eric osborne kings of acting yassss

• wrapup thoughts: this season is so camp tbh. like it sucks a lot and i hate that this is what people think of when NC is brought up because NC 3 and 4 are really really good and dont get the attention they deserve bc NC1 and 2 are so bad but its still a fun season! miles esme and hunter are always extremely fun to watch, but the excessive screentime given to zig, maya (i love her but none of the storylines shes given do her justice), tristan, frankie and jonah makes it a lot worse. anyways im gonna go rewatch season 10 for the 10000th time

#degrassi #degrassi next class #long post #if anyone reads the entire thing you are a saint thank u for listening to my insane ramblings

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 3 years

Text

How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?

I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.

TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface

Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.

And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie

What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?

Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”

So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?

The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it

ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN

Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ

The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel

Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-

Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.

Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died

I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?

Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional

Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?

“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?

Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)

20 minutes in and I wanted to give up

So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??

The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?

AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR

“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you

So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar

I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes

“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED

“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT

The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired

“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY

STOP THE FACES IM-

^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^

So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-

It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all

Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?

For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again

Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?

Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?

So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one

WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME

The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain

Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY

I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought

“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do

Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!

“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?

“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf

Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park

“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t

So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️

“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT

EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT

“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT

The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film

This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.

Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)

This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot

WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-

I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...

I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.

LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there

The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not

I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.

Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess

So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up

YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH

The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-

I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious

“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT

“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-

ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU

There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful

Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.

Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?

And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???

She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there

So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???

Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!

She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender

The less said about the musical number here the better

Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!

ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING

Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number

The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.

Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨

I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything

“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?

There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES

Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???

Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number

Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.

Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.

The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?

Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”

Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES

“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY

“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT

Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever

This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*

Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end

I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level

She got a service dog puppy which... okay?

Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!

I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing

AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻

Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.

We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.

As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.

#sia #music #music 2021 #music movie #autism #tw ableism #tw meltdown #tw blackface #anti sia #lol sia

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mwagneto · 3 years

Note

i like reading about your opinions on sherlock holmes and id like to get into it- so i’d like to hear some recommendations for shows

OOOOOOOO👀

shows

Granada Holmes starring Jeremy Brett - this one's considered a really faithful adaptation, it follows the episodic nature of the books and tells the stories really nicely, granted it's been a hot minute like 3 or 4 years since ive watched it but i still 100% recommend it

russian holmes with vasily livanov - similar to Granada in that it's episodic and adapts the books story by story, really charming, VERY obviously not filmed in the west dkgjdjfjdjf also been a while since ive watched it, it's in russian but there's subs, I wouldn't recommend starting w this one but it's good to know about it

elementary - i havent seen this one and idk if i will but a lot of people recommend it, it's a modern take on Holmes set in NYC and Watson is a woc so a lot has changed but the stories are somewhat the same. i think ? idk I wouldn't recommend starting with this one either but it wouldn't be right not to mention it

miss sherlock - another modern take on sherlock, this time they're both japanese women, unfortunately there's only one season and i Also haven't watched this but i really want to i just keep putting it off😔😔😔

the irregulars - the thing ive been raving about this week, i definitely recommend only watching this once you're deep enough into the brain rot since it's not actually a story about sherlock holmes he's just kinda. hanging out. but i love their version of watson so much it's unreal

sigh. i cant not mention bbc's atrocious adaptation here but all i have to say about it is this

movies

the rdj movies from 2009 and 2011 - you WILL NOT get an unbiased opinion on these from me but they're literally my favourite movies ever, the Holmes/Watson dynamic is fucking outstanding even if it's nothing like the books, i just really love everything about them. they're so good. my god. definitely watch these

the private life of sherlock holmes - absolute classic from 1970, it actually portrays Holmes as gay which hasn't been done before or since (😭), the story itself is interesting too although nothing outstanding but I still 100% recommend it

murder by decree - an older movie but at the time it was considered a "new" take on holmes because he was much nicer and more emotional than other adaptations before it tended to make him, just overall a really fun movie and a really nice take on Holmes

without a clue - hee hee funney movie in which Holmes is actually a dumbass actor who Watson hired so he could... idk sell more books? it's been a year since I've seen it but it's really funny fknrjfjejdndjdjsjjdnr

sherlock gnomes - don't stone me for this one but if you ignore fact that they're gnomes it's a really fun story and i really enjoy the holmes and watson dynamic in it mfndndnsndnjdnd

mr. holmes - another one i recommend you only watch once you're deep enough into the whole lore, it's holmes in retirement as an old man reminiscing about his life, it made me feel the entire range of human emotion but it really only works if you're already attached to the character

books

a study in scarlet - where it all started, pretty much lays the groundwork for every sh story

a scandal in bohemia - who the fuck is irene adler and why do movies keep making her holmes's love interest? this book will answer the first question. as for the second, who knows. heteronormativity is a bitch and im very very tired of men misinterpreting and butchering her character in every adaptation but i have to live with it😔😔 i really recommend reading this if you want to know the actual irene adler

the final problem - the iconique Reichenbach fall book, the one where holmes... well. important as a plot point

the empty house - another one that's important to what little overarching plot these books have

the three garridebs - VERY epic holmes/watson moment which i love and cherish

charles augustus milverton - really cool story and another h/w scene i love

so TL;DR id recommend starting with either Granada or one of the first three on the movies list to get you introduced to & acquainted with the character, after that you can go hog wild ♥ have fun!

#had to look at my tierlist #*gets asked abt thing i like* *forgets every opinion ive ever had*#i got mail!#sh stuff #ps i KNOW the ask just said shows but like *vibrates* there's so much stuff i love.#sh save

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anonymous-eggy · 3 years

Note

first of all you nightmare of a person, I know the fuck ur not talking to ME with those salad fingers of yours. i bet they drag behind you when you walk, everybody knows you're coming from the scrape sound. at them bbqs you dont even need to use tongs, u just use your spider fingers and your brain won't even comprehend the pain. fingers so long. SECOND of all u little demon spawn, you literally main kaeya in genshin. half the time we play co op u follow me around like a lost little hobbit child "wahh need help with puzzles" all the while ur wandering around flower fields and im over here grinding for u, unlocking every damn chest. ur lucky i havent robbed you blind. ungrateful punk. THIRD OF ALL you wear cowboy boots with ankle socks. FOURTH of all little boy ur cat just told me they love ME more than you and wish i would come take them back home with me. and i know ur only bitter abt ralph bc u cheated on nicky with him and now cant stop that i tell u he looks like he has bills to pay and an oxygen tank. speaking of n*cky tell his goofy ass to lose the hat. its atrocious and ugly. i bet he wears clown shoes too. you have matching pairs u snake defender. and tell ralph to lose the ugly bowler hat before i knock him fucking silly. ur built like that dude from apple jacks. the cinnamon stick. but with the height of the apple. go back to devouring coffee beans and keep my name OUT OF UR MOUTH.

xoxo- ur worstie <3

Im- there's a lot to unpack here. I'm gonna ignore the fact that you just BULLIED ME FOR HAVING LONG FINGERS, ANON. How mysterious I WonDEr wHo tHIs AnOnYMoUs BuLLy iS 😢

YEAH I'M A NIGHTMARE OF A PERSON, BUT AT LEAST I LOOK SEXY AS FUCK WHILE BEING A NIGHTMARE.

I DONT MAIN KAEYA! I JUST LIKE HAVING HIM ON MY TEAM BC I LIKE HIS FRUITY LIL WALK AND HE'S ONE OF MY STRONGEST CHARACTERS. SO WHAT IF I LIKE KEEPING HIM ON EVERY SINGLE TEAM?! HE'S A GOOD CRYO CHARACTER.

Listen- I play the damn game at my own pace. so what if I'm a little slow and don't know how to do every thing 😤 I NEVER ASKED YOU TO GET ALL THOSE CHESTS, I LITERALLY TOLD U THAT U DIDN'T HAVE TO. YOU WERE THE ONE WHO LEFT ME BEHIND. ZOOMING OFF WITH UR COOL ASS CHARACTERS WHILE I'M JUST TRYING TO KEEP UP. YOU SAID "oH iTs nO bIG dEaL I wAnT tO hELp yOu"

NEW FLASH: YOU DONT NEED TO DO IT TO KEEP ME AROUND YOU CAN JUST BE YOU. I WOULD RATHER HAVE FUN FIGHTING ENEMIES BESIDE U.

YOU CANT SAY S H I T ABT ME DEFENDING A SNAKE, YOU DEFEND AND ACTIVELY WANT TO FUCK CHILDE YOU DUMBASS CLOWN STOP YELLING AT A MIRROR. I HAVE NO ATTRACTION TOWARDS RALPH I JUST WANT TO FIX HIM AND FORCE HIM TO BE MY TIRED BEST FRIEND/ IMPULSE CONTROL.

I DONT WANT HIS ASS I HAVE NICKY. NICKY HAS THE SUPREME ASS AND THIGHS COMBO. HE AND HIS CUTE HAT (WHICH ISNT UGLY STFU) HAVE ALL OF MY HEART. I WANT HIM TO SUFFOCATE ME BETWEEN THOSE SEXY THIGHS. I LIKE RALPH BUT THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I WOULD EVER CHEAT ON MY HUSBAND WITH RALPH'S CRUSTY RECEDING HAIRLINE.

I GET IT. HE LOOKS OLD. BUT HE DOESNT LOOK AS OLD AS YOU SAY HE DOES. HE LOOKS LIKE THE FATHER THAT DITCHED HIS HOT MILF WIFE WHEN HE FIGURED OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT AND NOW HE REGRETS IT.

RALPH HAD A REALLY REALLY ROUGH CHILDHOOD. THATS A REASON, NOT AND EXCUSE. YEAH. HE WAS A RAT. HE'S SELF SERVING. BUT THATS HOW YOU HAD TO BE TO SURVIVE.

AND I CAN TEACH HIM THAT HE DOESNT HAVE TO BE THAT WAY ANYMORE.

YEAH SO UR BASICALLY JUST JEALOUS BC ME AND NICKY HAVE MATCHING OUTFITS AND UR NOT INCLUDED IN OUR MAKE OUT SESSIONS. UR PATHETIC ALL U HAVE TO DO IS ASK, BITCH.

SO WHAT IF I'M BUILT LIKE THE CINNAMON STICKS LITTLE BROTHER FUCK OFF. I DONT EAT COFFEE BEANS RAW YOU GREMLIN LOOKING ASS OOMPA LOOMPA. WHO LET THE GARGOYLE ON TUMBLR TF. SOMEONE COME PICK UP UR ANGRY LITTLE BLIND CHIHUAHUA ITS BARKING AT A FUCKING BUSH INSTEAD OF ME.

okay but to be fair, I also believe Ralph should lose the damn bowler hat.

xoxo- your beloved victim of anon hate 💞

#I'm laughing too hard I need to collect myself #IM IN TATTERS #LITERAL PEICES OVER THIS #fictif nicky #fictif nicky valentino #fictif two against the world #fictif nix hydra #fictif tatw #nicky valentino fictif #nicky fictif #fictif ralph #eggy answers #okay but disclaimer we are both completely joking. at least I am.#I would never actually mean this stuff my love 💞

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shanedawsonsfanfics · 3 years

Text

Byakuya Togami x Fem!Reader Nsfw

Content Includes; nsfw, degrading, afab reader, drugging, noncon, Byakuya Togami

Early this morning as you got ready to head to the cafeteria to meet the others, you noticed a piece of neatly folded paper in front of your door. A note someone must have slid through from the other side.

You pick it up and examine its contents.

In fancy writing, it read "I require assistance in the office, We will meet promptly after the morning announcement. I advise you be discreet"

Very blunt and to the point. Although there was no name, you knew exactly who called for you.

But why would Togami, as brilliant as he is, need help from you?

Your mind begins to rack up what could possibly be his intention. To kill you?

If so, the others would obviously know as you both would be the ones missing from the cafeteria. You knew the Ultimate Affluent Progeny was not that ignorant. Perhaps he truly needed your help, given his straightforward attitude.

You decided you would go, but would be sure to take caution. It must be something important, maybe he knew a way to escape.

You made your way through the dorm hall and spot Kyoko. She was leaning on the edge of the wall, seemingly lost in thought.. You acknowledged her intelligence and her great support during the class trials. Telling her about your whereabouts would ensure that if something were to happen, she would easily solve the trial.

"Hey Kyoko!" You wave. She responds with nothing but a glance to you, her expression like stone.

"I just wanted to let you know ill be absent during the daily meeting in the cafeteria… Togami seems to need my help…"

You give her grave look and her bright purple irises bore into yours. Her expression changed and showed subtle hints of worry.

The air grows cold and silent. She finally nods in understanding. "I will be sure to remember" Is all she says.

Nobody else greeted you on your way to the office. You twist open the door and was greeted by the cool dust filled atmosphere. It smelt of old wood and parchment.

Byakuya was sitting in the desk, a letter in his hand. He showed no reaction to your presence. You cleared your throat

"H-hey I got your note…"

Silence.

A slight squeak of his chair filled the room as he sat up straight in the chair, still reading the letter. "Come here" he says.. and you obliged, standing to his side, squinting to read the paper.

You were very close to him, and the smell of cologne and clean fabric filled your nose. You felt a little light headed, being so close to him. "This handwriting is absolutely atrocious, perhaps a commoner as yourself would have more luck understanding these childish scribbles"

You ignore his backhanded compliment and eye the letter. Instantly recognizing the handwriting as undeniably your own. Your heart sinks as every word written processed in your head.

When did you write this? This was surely your handwriting, but the words… Your face felt hot all of a sudden and your legs wobbled…

Byakuya notices your eyes skimming the paper and he raises his voice in annoyance "read it aloud"

You shake your head no… there was no way you could… You slowly move away from him until he grabs you by the hem of your skirt.

"Read it now"

He roughly pulls you even closer than before to him. Now holding you by the waist he snuck a leg between your own, locking you in place and ensuring you couldn't walk away. His grip was firm as you struggled to be free.

"It appears you have no other options now, I suggest you stop writhing like a filthy pig and begin"

He spoke with poison and his nails dragged into your skin through your clothes.

Your heart pounded, in fear, shame, and embarrassment.

"My s-stomach gets full of butterflies when I see to-togami around school"

You could see Togami smirk in the corner of your eye "wig! such a scandal" he says.

You gulp.. his skin dug deeper into your sides. He picks up where u left off

"I wonder what Togami thinks about, what does he jack off to?" He says in a sarcastic voice. "I wonder how he would react if I told him all the fowl thoughts that consume my mind when he is near"

Your face flushes and with a sudden burst of energy u begin to squirm again. Successfully breaking free you get up and scurry to the door. Togami grabs the back of your collared shirt and throws u against the desk before you can make it. "You are so irritating" he says as he pushes his weight on top of you, making you almost completely immobile besides your writhing arms on either side of his body. Your stomach and heart began to swell full of butterflies just like in the letter. He pulls you in for a deep, forceful kiss. "TEA" Togami says angrily. You refused to reciprocate. Togami suddenly bit down on your lip with a force that made tears pick in the corners of your eyes. As the stinging of your lip clouded you're mind you felt Togami pull away. "Your breathe is disgusting. SAME!!!"

He clicks his tongue.

Your mind begins to draw blank and you feel quite dizzy.

You close your eyes, attempting to relieve this sickening feeling. As you open them you can't help but feel like something is off…

Everything felt hazy, and confusing.

"Hello sister??? U still there? We haven't even gotten to the fun part ;("

Shane says looking down at you as his body is practically touching yours. You can feel his sweat make its way through his shirt and into the cloth of yours. A giant wet spot right between your chest.

"You look so nice kitten *Clicks tongue*

He says in a playful tone.

"I cant wait to cum all over you"

Shane begins to unbutton your shirt. His big, sweaty hands reaching for the newly revealed skin. Making sure to moisten every part of your body with the vast amount of sweat he creates. Seriously…. Whats his problem? You try to speak, to scream. But nothing comes out. Your throat clenches on its words and your mouth was desert dry.

"T-togami?" You say hoarsely in confusion.. you felt all your energy drain from saying his name. Togami… where did he go? As much as you pretended to hate what was happening, you truly wished he would embrace you with intimacy.

What was happening.. who is this man?

Where did Togami go?

"Aw I guess the drugs have'nt worn off yet isn't that tea. Idk who this 'Toe-gamee' guy is but you got someone better! Hey whats up! Yes! I'm shane dawson!"

He says beginning to unpants you. Your mind was barely processing any of this. You tried to fight him off of you but it seemed as though your body was made of jello… You could not move at all. You felt so powerless under this man's grasp. He seemed terrifying, he wreaked of stench, and his touches against your skin felt like knives.

Tears dropped down your face as you felt him drag his hand from your now bare chest to your abdomen. "This is where I'm gonna cum later ;)" he says… his hand left a visible grease trail on your body. You close your eyes as hard as you can. Please let this stop… please togami save me…

Togami would not be coming for you. Nobody would… you'd remain locked up in shane dawson's recording room forever being his kitten. And to set the record straight he very much did cum on his precious cat. Many times.. and you hated every moment of it.

#danganronpa x reader #danganronpa x you #danganronpa imagines #danganronpa x y/n #thh x reader #byakuya togami x reader #byakuya x reader #mod shane dawson

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worstloki · 4 years

Text

thor 3 rewrite where:

- when Thor gets to Asgard Loki drops the illusion because Thor obviously sees through the illusion for once and is trying to go in for a hug. Thor laughs about the play and asks if Loki was even trying to hide the past 2 years before asking how and why he didn't tell him he was alive and then he asks where Odin is and Loki says he’s safe on earth and they go. no threatening with the hammer because what even was that--

- Loki doesn't step out of Strange’s circle because he’s curious about it

- The first thing Thor does when he gets to Bleeker street is demand Loki back. Loki nabs a few of the sanctum’s books while Strange talks to Thor. “You cant just take those” “why not” “well for starters you attacked New York 3 years ago” “I sincerely apologise for that, as I was truly not acting as myself” “...ooookay” “I can take the books now, right?”. Strange sighs and gives up because its not like he can take them out of a pocket dimension. but loki promises to return them.

- thor and loki find odin in the alleyway and odin actually apologises to loki (think: that deleted alley scene)

- their secret older sister? yeah that's Angela and the portal she comes out of is just a rift to the 10th realm which odin sealed her away in

- Angela was odin’s firstborn and he didn't want any husband of hers to take the throne so he would dump her in the 10th realm to “train” with the violent Angels so she wouldn't get the chance to develop relationships with people but especially with any men who might inherit asgard if she married before odin produced a male heir.

- Angela didn't appreciate being locked away in a vault another realm until Odin had use of her and so she tried to run away with the love of her life Sera, a Valkyrie.

- when Odin sent the Valkyrie to retrieve her she refused to give up her freedom to be the weapon of war she was raised to be and killed them. Sera jumping in front of one of her blades (and saving Valkyrie’s/Brunhild’s life) was her trying to prevent Angela from killing them because she knew Angela would live to regret killing the only group of friends she had and because the Valkyrie were both her and Angela's shield sisters, and she would be continuing the violence she was seeking to escape.

- When Angela’s blade struck her love she fell to her knees and surrendered to Odin who then dumped her heartbroken in the 10th dimension before using the odinforce to seal that realm off from all the others. (he didn't seal it permanently in case he ever had need of her again, because he thought she’d just cool off eventually, like the fool he is)

- a thousand and something years later the Angels want revenge from Odin/Asgard for blocking off their realm and Angela blames Odin for Sera’s death and wants to take back everything that’s his - by claiming the realms for herself rather than leaving them with the unworthiest and worst person; Odin. (If the Asgardians and their army hadn't opposed her it would’ve been enough for her. But they did. And Angela is extremely angry and still grieving Sera and wants to tear everything Odin has down because she blames him for taking everything she had from her.)

- Loki asks if the reason Valkyrie doesn't want to help the Revengers is because of the 10th realm (because when Loki goes to talk to Thor in the circle-prison they put the idea of the Revengers together--). She is suspicious and attacks and asks what he knows about the 10th realm and they exchange information, but its mostly Loki giving her information and trying to recruit her. Instead of knocking him out she gets a blade to his neck and he smiles (#callbacktothor2 #lokiwouldLOVEtolosetoavalkyrie). She gets up and as she walks away he says the least she could do is tell how they took Angela down the last time. Valkyrie flashbacks and we get those iconic shots of the fight along with one where Angela falls to her knees in grief. “We didn't.”.

- Valkyrie finds Thor and Bruce (and Thor respects his decision not to go green and Hulk out just for the record. he still invites him along and says he’ll use the Bifrost to drop Bruce off on earth after he defeats/speaks to his sister.) and takes them to her room but not because she’s joining their team just because its a good thing to do. They reach her room and Loki is just casually hanging out there. because loki has been on the planet for 2 weeks and deserves at least one friend, marvel

- Heimdall recounts the tale of Angela’s past to the hidden Asgardians and that's how the audience finds out about her past and how she was covered up.

- Valkyrie is convinced to join them because Thor insists that even if their chances of winning are near zero they’re got to try because that's the honourable thing to do. Loki makes a joke about how ‘The Mighty Thor, Lord of Thunder’ just wants to avenge Odin, because it wouldn't be fair to forget those who have died and pretend the issue doesn't exist and Valkyrie sighs and says “I guess the name fits, you’re getting revenge, he’s getting revenge, I might as well too” and that's why she joins - to avenge, and to honour those who died (it mirrors the same reason Angela’s fighting)

- After that, to lighten the mood: ”one could even say you’re getting... ra-avenge? eh, Mighty Thor? Valiant Valkyrie? Not you Bruce. I told you ‘Revengers’ was the right name” “...” “perhaps now isn't the time for wordplay” “brother that is still an atrocious pun and you should never be allowed to name anything ever again” “hey that's not fair I name things perfectly fine” “sleipnir” “I’m still proud of that one” “throg” “that one was mother’s idea” “laeveteinn” “no. no. no-” *thor tells the story about that time they were 8 and loki named a knife ‘damage twig’)

- loki doesn't do some flimsy betrayal, but when everyone is boarding the ship he stays behind, saying “I guess Sakaar suits me”. He then gets the revolution going and helps overthrow the government.

- the chase scene still happens, and the reason they can do interrealm travel is because with the 10th realm’s barrier weak all the realm barriers are weaker making jumping around through random portals work (that's why they landed on sakaar when thrown out of the Bifrost instead of being stranded in space). We’re not applying earth science logic to how magic tornado wormholes on a trash planet work thank you.

- Thor vs Angela and naturally Thor is losing when Loki shows up and then Thor unlocks his lightning powers

- Loki tries to reason with Angela at some point, using actual information he’s put together on her, and arguing that acting violently to enforce peace is what she’s against AND what she’s doing.

- Angela freezes upon seeing Valkyrie and avoids her the entire fight. Valkyrie is irritated by the fact that she’s clearly not hurting her on purpose. But on the upside its a one-sided fight when its Angela vs Valkyrie so Valkyrie gets some hits in, even if its only because Angela is letting her.

- Angela flees and leaves them fighting the Angels at some point, going into the weapons vault and placing Surtur's crown onto the eternal flame. If she’s going down she’s taking whatever is left of Odin with her.

- when she gets back to the bridge to continue fighting Valkyrie pins her to the ground (benefits of not having the opponent try and hurt you) while Thor and Loki combine their magical strength to put Angela in the 10th realm and lock her there. Loki apologises to Angela as this is done. he knows what its like to feel like a relic/weapon being used but cant let her destroy everything and kill even more people.

- When that's done Thor turns to see Surtur huge and burning Asgard.

- Thor understands that while he can choose to fight Surtur off and get everyone re-established on asgard that they would have to rebuild and that would take time so they leave instead. In time they will return, and when Surtur’s destiny of burning asgard to the ground is over they’ll try and resettle but for now the planet’s surface is burnt away. He puts the people over the place.

- Back on the ship Thor is officially getting the mantle of king by being asked the coronation questions. Instead of the usual “I swear” he looks at his brother and says “only if i have my brother by my side” and Loki and Thor actually get to hug and maybe there are even tears. Then Loki and Thor get to co-rule for the 10 minutes they have before thanos shows up

#I don't even think it'd be called Thor:Ragnarok since it... isn't...?#sure loki destroyed asgard and hela was there but the movie messed up comic and myth versions of ragnarok #in THIS version Hela is still around but she's the ruler of Helheim and the dead obviously #Odin already had a secret older firstborn daughter that the MCU could've used and I don't know why they didnt #Angela was... right there??#I guess I just didn't like how Hela as a character was butchered #she was given... no motive...? no reason to attack...?#odin suddenly has a 3rd child no one remembers that was locked away in a mysterious space prison...???#in the comics thor and loki combine their strength to access the 10th realm so in THIS version they use their strength to do that too #by locking her back there but also showing that they didn't want to it leaves the character's future role open-ended #like if they had said Odin had kept Hela in Helheim at least it would make sense if in the future they went there to visit and she was there #now we have no idea is Helheim is even a thing in the MCU and whether Hela is there of just Death or what #ThisPostIsLongerThanMyLifeSpan #TPILTMLS #aldrif was right there and someone decided that hela should be their secret older sister smh #OH! perhaps Loki's death in infinity war was just him escaping to acquire help from the Angels #he would turn up there as a woman and ask what it'll take for their help #now that Angela killed Odin and destroyed Asgard (loki assures her its ruin) she isn't thinking unclearly in angry #Loki could offer her Sera in return for any assistance they give!! he could go to Hela and make a deal where Sera is brought back to life #we don't even need to see the deal being made #the Angels could've just showed up whenever and when Thor asks Angela could just say that Loki asked them for help #Loki didn't even have to show up in the final fight for that to work

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