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navybrat817 · 1 year

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Looks Better on You

Pairing: Lumberjack!Steve Rogers x Female Reader Summary: Steve can't stop thinking about how good you look in his shirts. Word Count: Over 1.6k Warnings: Mentions of explicit sexual content, referenced vaginal sex (wrap it before you tap it), a bit of fluff, talks of having a family, slight feels (it's me), Steve Rogers (he’s a warning, okay?). A/N: Last "planned" writing for January belongs to Beefcake and Tippy. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Moodboard by yours truly, banner by the wonderful @sgt-seabass and divider by the talented @firefly-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Please reblog or comment as it means the world!

Steve loves seeing you in his shirts.

After he received the serum, his blood ran warmer than he could remember. Cool weather or a chill in the air didn't bother him the way it used to. You, on the other hand, couldn't stand being cold. If you set your foot on the floor in the morning and it wasn't warm enough for your liking, you immediately went back under the covers.

He bought you a pair of slippers to leave by your side of the bed to help.

Not that he minded when you used the weather or chill in the cabin as an excuse to cuddle.

"Please, warm me up."

He happily obliged every time.

It was the first time he saw you in his shirt though that he was done for.

One early morning after his run, you were in the kitchen making breakfast. The crackling bacon beckoned to him as he went to greet you. The food was long forgotten when he walked in and took in the sight of you. Your bare legs were on display as you faced the stove, giving him the chance to admire the beauty in front of him. In fact, the only thing that seemed to cover you at all was a red and blue flannel shirt.

His flannel shirt.

You smiled over your shoulder before you began to plate the bacon. "Good timing. Just needs to cool off," you said.

He almost asked you to repeat yourself when you went to the end of the counter. You didn't even bother buttoning the shirt all the way. He never understood the appeal of seeing someone else in his clothes until now. It was like he was touching you without his hands being on you.

A visible claim for others to know who you belonged to, but thankfully it was the two of you in your home.

Being both jealous and in awe of a piece of fabric was something he could add to his list of things he never thought would happen.

"That's mine," he said in a low voice.

"Yeah, I know it's yours," you teased, holding up his coffee mug. "I'm just filling it up."

He had something he wanted to fill up, too.

"Not that. My shirt," he said, his fingers twitching when you looked yourself over.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. It was just laying there and it smelled good and I-"

"Are you wearing anything under it?" he asked, moving forward until he trapped you between his wide frame and the counter.

You smiled as you carefully set the mug down. "Why don't you check?" you suggested, gripping his hand and guiding it between your legs. He groaned when his fingers brushed your folds. "Oops. I must've forgotten," you said, widening your stance so he could explore.

Breakfast was cold that day since he was too busy fucking you over the counter. And on top of the kitchen table, which you commented later how incredibly sturdy it is. And in your bed.

All with his shirt on.

At some point your breasts spilled free, giving him the opportunity to watch them bounce as you eagerly took his thrusts. He appreciated every inch of your body the way you deserved and wondered how his other shirts would look on you in the throes of passion. Part of him felt guilty because you wore his shirt to cover up and now he couldn't keep his hands off of you. Or his cock out of you.

"That's it," you panted once he gave you a breather. "I'm stealing all of your shirts from now on."

"Doesn't stealing imply that you won't give them back?" he asked, kissing your warm forehead.

Between the sex and his body being close, you wouldn't get cold anytime soon.

"They're mine now," you smiled, shutting your eyes as you curled up against him. "Sorry."

"I guess that's fair," he said, touching your back through the flannel. "They look better on you anyway."

After that, it became a normal thing to leave his shirts around for you.

On the colder days when he had to get to work before you, he made sure to leave a warm shirt for you to put on when you got out of bed. Other days he had a tendency to leave a sweatshirt on the back of your desk chair. It was adorable how you pushed the sleeves up before you focused on writing. T-shirts were easy access when you exercised, even though you had a drawer full of shirts suitable for working out.

"I thought you only liked to exercise in the bedroom."

"That's my favorite kind of exercise, but I need to do more than that to keep up with you, Beefcake."

You didn't look at all ashamed when he later caught you spritzing his cologne in the air and walking through it.

"What?" you shrugged as you put the bottle down. "It didn't smell enough like you, okay?"

"I'm not judging," he chuckled.

Why would he? The fact that you wanted to keep wearing his clothes, with his scent on them, made him happy. Especially when he went away for missions, unsure of when he'd be back. Coming home to you in one of his shirts was the best kind of welcome.

He made sure to get another bottle of that cologne so you wouldn't run out.

He also decided early on that he liked his flannel shirts on you the most. Maybe it was because it was the first shirt of his he saw you in. It could have also been because it reminded him of the man he is now, the lumberjack who made a home with you. If he looked at you just right, he could imagine a child in your arms wearing a matching shirt.

Someone to make your home even brighter.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" you asked one day, narrowing your eyes as he leaned your hip against the bedroom door frame.

"Like what?" he asked innocently.

"Like you want to ravage me."

"I always want to ravage you."

He smirked when you sharply inhaled. It was the truth. He couldn't help that you made him an insatiable man. It elated him that you felt the same way.

"Hmm. You're thinking about something else."

"Still thinking about you," he said truthfully.

You set your hands on your hips and he did his best not to let his eyes drift down. The fabric of the worn red and blue top brushed your thighs as you tapped your right foot, like you sometimes did when you tried to get a read on him. He didn't give anything away.

"It's quiet today," you said as you let your arms drop. He wasn't expecting you to say that. "Sometimes I wonder…"

"Wonder what?" he asked, his blue eyes watching as you tugged at the hem of the shirt.

"What it would be like if the cabin wasn't so quiet, aside from the noises we make," you said with a coy smile. A hand went to your stomach as you sat on the edge of the bed. "Laughter, even crying. The pitter patter of little feet."

His heart pounded when you gave him a loving smile.

"Is that what you were thinking about?" you asked.

He pushed himself off the door frame and took light steps toward you. He hadn't given away what he was thinking, but he should've known you'd figure it out. The two of you were in tune with each other.

"You a mind reader?" he teased, towering over you as you leaned back on the mattress.

"No," you answered, reaching up to frame his face. "You've just had this tiny, but different, smile on your face lately when I wear one of your shirts. And you keep looking at my stomach or resting your hand on it."

"I didn't think I was being obvious," he said sheepishly.

"I'm pretty sure you started baby-proofing the place without realizing in between working and keeping me in bed," you teased, brushing your lips against his.

"But if you don't want that, I understand."

"You think I don't?" you asked sadly.

"I just don't want you to feel like you have to take a certain path in life because of someone else."

Family was something he wanted, but didn't think he'd have after everything. You changed how he envisioned his future. You changed everything.

He refused to put any pressure on you though.

What kind of man would I be if I asked that of you?

"Steve," you sighed with a slow shake of your head. "I'm pretty sure you changed my path in life the moment you set foot on my property. I had my work and I loved it, but you made me want more than that. So whatever it is that we want, we'll figure it out together."

He kissed you again, wishing he could put into words how you changed him for the better. How you gave him hope. He'd continue to show you through his actions.

"But I'm not having twenty kids," you smiled when he moved his kisses along your jaw.

"No, sweetheart. How about ten?" he joked.

"Two. That way the number of kids doesn't outweigh the adults," you teased as he moved you to the center of the bed. "And should that day come that we decide to make a family, you may have to buy some bigger shirts for me."

"I'll buy you as many shirts as you want," he smiled, making you gasp when he settled over you. "Like I said, they look better on you anyway."

You think he can convince you to have ten? Bahaha. Love and thanks for reading. ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Steve Rogers Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

#navybrat writes #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers #nomad!steve rogers #lumberjack!steve rogers #lumberjack!steve rogers x reader #nomad!steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers au #beefcake and tippy #chris evans x reader #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x you

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lunathebee · 2 years

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©lunathebee (last updated: 17/5/2023)

A/n_1: All of my fics are x fem!reader and have no title

A/n_2: My HC are x gn!reader (unless it's specified to be x fem!reader)

[a] -> angst, [f] -> fluff, R -> request, *** -> author's fav

Anon list: 🌱

One shots

Summary: Marc refused to let you go, even if that meant he would destroy himself. [a]

Summary: the only way Marc can protect you now is to stop protecting you. [a]

Summary: The initial M belong to you Y/n, but so does S and J [f] R

Summary: You are sick, physically and mentally because of Marc [a] R, ***

Series

Part 1 summary: For the first time ever, Steven might be better at talking to a girl than Marc, but that doesn't mean Marc just gonna stand and watch him does so. [f]

Part 2 summary: Steven and Marc working together like they're on a serious mission. The mission: making you fall for Marc. [f]

Part 3 summary: You slap Marc's butt, what's next? [f]

Headcanon

Summary: A small argument can't make you stop loving your husband. [a], [f], R

Marc's time

[14:09]

One shots

Summary: Skating with Steven = super fun, would recommend doing it again. [f] R

Summary: You are on a quest to finally get revenge against those who wronged you. Hopefully a cute British man won't stand in your way. [f] ***

+bonus chap+ Summary: Steven surprised you with his Mr.Knight look. [f]

Summary: I am devoted to you my queen /tw.yandere/

Summary: Steven is suffering from a deadly illness, and there is not much time left. ***

Summary: Y/n brings the perfect gift for Steven on their date. [f] R

Series

Nothing yet

Headcanon

Summary: You and Steven re-create a scene from the movie you guys both love. [f]

STEVEN WITH A PREGNANT S/O

Steven's time

[10:54] *** [3:10] [11:02] [10:00] [10:56]

One shots

Summary: It's always a mess to stuck with 3 person at the same time. [f], R 🌱

Summary: Jake wanting to build a crib all on his own is the most dad thing ever [f] R

Series

Part 1 summary: One look at you and Jake knows you're his soulmate in this life. [f]

Part 2 summary: Every fairytale have an ending. [f] [a]

Part 3 summary: Jake fulfilled 2 last wishes of yours. [f] [a]

Headcanon

Summary: Jake starts to accept your love [f]

Jake's time

[12:03]

THE MOON BOYS REACTING TO HORROR VIDEO GAMES [f]

THE MOON BOY REACTING TO GETTING INTO A HUGE AGRUMENT WITH Y/N [a], R

THE MOON BOYS REACTING TO THE (CLASSIC) HICKEY PRANK [f]

THE MOON BOYS REACTING TO THEIR GF BEING A FASHIONISTA (with moodboard) [f] R

THE MOON BOYS REACTING TO Y/N GIVING THEM THE SILENT TREATMENT [a] R

THE MOON BOYS REACTING TO BEING Y/N'S FIRST RELATIONSIP [f] R

THE MOON BOYS REACTING TO Y/N MAKING BREAKFAST FOR THEM [f] R

THE MOON BOYS REACTING TO THEIR S/O HAVING LOW SELF-ESTEEM [f] R

THE MOON BOYS REACTING TO Y/N GETTING INTO A CAR ACCIDENT

THE MOON BOYS REACTING TO Y/N FROWNING (AND BEING INSECURE) IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR R

THE MOON BOYS IF THEY HAVE A TIKTOK ACCOUNT ft Y/n aka their girlfriend [f] ***

THE MOON BOYS GIVING YOU HICKIES [f] R

THE MOON BOYS BEING JEALOUS [f] R

THE MOON BOYS WITH A RACER GF [f] R

THAT TIME WHEN Y/N SNAPS AT STEVEN ft MARC AND JAKE TRYING TO CALM THE SITUATION [a] [f] R

THE MOON BOYS STANDING UP FOR Y/N AFTER SHE GOT INSULTED [f] R

THE MOON BOYS GIVING Y/N HER FIRST KISS [f] R

THE MOON BOYS WITH A ADHD S/O [f]

THE MOON BOYS WITH A WITCH S/O [f] R

THE MOON BOYS CARING FOR THEIR STRESSED S/O [f] R

THE MOON BOYS WITH A S/O WHO DOESN'T HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH HER DAD R

HOW STEVEN IS INDEED WALL·E: A THREAD (PT.1?)

WOULD ANY OF THE MOON BOYS WEAR A BUNNY GIRL SUIT OR A MAID DRESS FOR THEIR TIKTOK

Summary: Someone is always two steps ahead of you, or maybe three?

Pairing: Steven Grant|Marc Spector x detective!fem!reader

Genre: thriller, horror

Summary: What if the moon boys lose the (very important) necklace you gave them? [f] R

DIALOGUE PROMPT: #9 #4 #5 #6 #8 #8 #5

Marc Spector x fem!actress!reader (social media au) | ☽ 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠? ☽ ☽ 𝐉𝐞𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐫𝐲 ☽ ☽ 𝐒𝐨𝐟𝐭 𝐋𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐡 ☽ ☽ 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐋𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐡 ☽

Pairing: Jake Lockley x fem!fashion designer!reader| social media au (twitter+insta) | ☽ 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐝 ☽

moon boys x hot mess adhd reader who will be super focused on a task and pause and completely forget what they’re doing and just freezes like a statue

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nehswritesstuffs · 8 months

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I really enjoy your TTOU AU. I’m curious if you’re going to continue writing chapters for it. Thanks for your awesome writing!!! 😊

*side-eyes people in my DMs*

Here's the short answer: I plan on it, but cannot give an estimated start date since other varying things are taking priority. In the meantime, know I love you and your support, Greyscale, as it keeps me going.

Long answer under the cut.

The thing about The Thick of UNIT is this: it's very long and very convoluted. At this juncture I need to do a complete read-through, probably do some slight editing to what's already up, take a long look at what I have planned, and then edit that to hell and back as I tighten the story and get it on track again. The main things keeping me from doing this are:

Size: We're talking 225k words thus far by AO3's estimation. That's a lot to go through! And that's just the main story! It's 283.5k words with all the extras!

Time: There's only so much spare time I have available to write, let alone edit this monster.

Writing Resources: This is something a lot of fic writers understand, I think, because it's about what ideas are flowing and when. You have to go where there is flow, or else things will be bad.

My Editor: He's still not done and is even more scattered than me when it comes to this, if you'll believe, and since he and I don't control what the other does...

Real Life: I've been job hunting for a year (exactly; I was let go a year ago today) and I'm engaged, so I've been trying to get house-hunting and wedding planning off the ground (there's a lot of barriers here I won't go into). Plus there's a bunch of normal things that I'd do anyhow involving family and friend groups that take up time. energy, and resources. And I'm a tante now?! Tantes are cool.

Indifference: Now this is admittedly a weird one that deserves explaining. I still love The Thick of UNIT, as well as the parent shows Doctor Who and The Thick of It! They all still hold a special place in my heart. It's just... well... I average single-digit notes on here. I don't have enough reviews on FFN for there to be one per chapter. Most of my comments on AO3 are conversations. Although I'll be one of the first to say that you need to write fic for yourself and don't worry about an audience, I will also admit that it's very difficult to put into practice. I hit a big ol' wall of burnout with TTOU, which is something that can happen to anyone about anything, even stuff they love, and I'm trying to get over that and the indifference it causes. also everything that i've seen of DW post-Twelve is just irritating and i feel so fucking bad for Gatwa and none of that helps any

So... yeah... the double-edged sword with longfics is that they are a lot of time and energy, which I unfortunately do not have a lot of to spare. "But what about those other fics I see you posting?" That's where all my writing resources go, because the ideas are flowing there. It's probably weird to think about since I was almost exclusively writing fic for Doctor Who and The Thick of It for nine years, but what I've been able to churn out lately hits something completely different, deep down in my soul from before I even knew what Doctor Who was, before The Thick of It first aired, and a lot of it is a bit existential in its own way.

"But what am I going to do in the meantime?!" Feel free to check out my bookmarks on AO3, which has a lot of TTOU fic (including some by the lovely @fajrbismuth, whose tumblr url is yes from the fic). That not enough? Maybe, idk, create something of your own. Write some fic, draw art, create a moodboard, do something that channels your love for it. and maybe if you make sure i see it, i can reblog it for everyone here to see. Hell, I don't even care if you do your own Malcolm/Kate stories independent of TTOU. I can't stop you.

Thank you, though, for all your love and support over the past, what eight years of this. It's humbling when I get to see how much people love my writing and it really does make it worth it in the end.

#I'm not blaming anyone in my DMs for this just I've been talking recently about TTOU so it's. like. 'SEE?!'#TTOU also recently hit 10k hits on AO3 which is pretty impressive considering their tracker's shit at recording that stuff so that's cool #so. yeah. one day i'll get back to it. that day is not today however.#The Thick of UNIT #replies #Greyface replies

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thetwelfthcrow · 6 months

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Hi 👋🏼 royalty AU Anon here, first of all thank you so much for your encouraging words it means a lot.

Also yeah I didn't lied when I said it was an idea I just wrote it down as I was sending the ask 😅 it wasn't even planned at all. Just let my hands work here.

I would very much like to write it but yeah I'm not the best at planning fics and all 😅😭 so any help would be appreciated 💜

I think i'm gonna wait until January to ask for your help you're already busy with Nano and with Christmas coming soon I don't want to be a burnden (I don't celebrate it but I know that a lot of people do so I won't bother you with my silly fic at that time)

Just thanks so much for the confident boost you gave me and hopefully see you in January to plan this monstrosity of a fic 😅

oh no problem !! happy to have helped and i'm so happy you decided to write this !!! let's go babe !!

and god i know the feeling of just letting your hands do the work. writing is part planning and very much Deciding things and part looking at your marionette dolls walk and act and just describing that bc it's outta your hands now.

i'd love to help you !! of course !! gotta preface it by saying that there is no right way to start writing and everyone does it differently. i'm an incredibly structured author: i plan everything i'm gonna do first and then i'll start writing. it helps me for when i've got a few free moments and i can just read what i previously wrote, see where i'm going and then continue right away. whereas others sometimes thrive with jumping head first into it and just rolling with it. my main bit of advice will always be: see what works for you. the rest is just what works for me.

first simple thing you gotta do is make a document and put all your ideas in there. don't think about order or structure, quality or anything -- just write anything that comes to mind. and when you're done with that, you can try and see what general outline you want for your story. what happens first, middle and at the end? and then you can put all your ideas into those three brackets and see if you can make a logical order for it. and sometimes you have an idea that doesn't fit anywhere -- keep it !! because it might come in hand later on. and you'll still have some gaps in between, that's fine! you just gotta get some general sense of where you're going, what the story is that you're gonna tell. and maybe you can only brainstorm the first chapter, or the first half, that's okay too! just get any and all ideas on paper and when you're satisfied (or empty, really, bc sometimes inspiration can feel like a glass filled with water that can't be refilled when you drank it all) you can either start writing or put your baby away for a while to get a breather.

it's very sweet that you'd wait till january for me! but please, don't let me hold you back. keep thinking and brainstorming and doing all sorts of things for your story. hell, maybe make a playlist, or a moodboard? think of some headcanons for your guys! anything can help you later on with writing.

and you're not a burden, love! i absolutely love being an alpha/beta reader for anyone's works - especially in this ship! so stop thinking of yourself like that. it's okay to take up space! and i'm welcoming you with open arms. i am always available for whatever you might need - i just may respond a bit slower sometimes!

the summary of it all is, don't wait for me to start planning, get as much of your ideas out on paper as you can and see if you can structure it a little bit. maybe this will be your nanowrimo as wellh ;). and whenever you need me, you know where to find me! happy writing!

#Anonymous #royal au anon #zhalia’s lil’ chit chat #writing advice #i suppose? it's quite broad here

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lilolilyr · 2 years

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(readmore cuts off here btw)

Sources + some other versions of my moodboards for the Bering&Wells meets S.H.I.E.L.D AU, plus a bit of background info! Made for the AU day of beringandwellsappreciationweek, thanks for the idea @galactic-pirates ! :D

I like the above one best because it's just aesthetically pleasing idk xD but it cuts through the w14 image in a kind of weird way because I used the long 1×3 pic on purpose for that so... Didn't turn out to be my final selection bc of that, but it gets the place of honour here!

A bit about the AU:

Honestly, I don't have any clear cut thoughts on this, just many ideas that even contradict each other in parts... Which is why I probably won't write an actual fic for this, but if someone else feels inspired by my idea, feel free to adopt it for yourself!

>>> I'm leaning towards it being a merge instead of a crossover, so warehouse personell in a Marvel-y world, not characters from both worlds. They're still Warehouse Agents, they just have the helicarrier instead of Univille! Or perhaps both, the 'carrier as a mobile unit and the Warehouse to store the masses of artefacts?

If we're vaguely replacing SHIELD characters with Warehouse ones, I think Artie would be the leader (Coulson), Claudia of course the hacker (Skye), Mrs F is Fury... that's where it stops making sense to replace anyone directly

Both Myka and HG work but don't really work as the the pilot and fighter (May), Helena because of Slightly Unhinged vibes, Myka because she could be reluctant to go back in the field after Sam dies on her watch, so she'd have that in common with May... H.G. of course works better as a scientist, but from characteristics she doesn't have a lot in common with the SHIELD ones

>>> On the other hand, a X-over would also be fun!

For starters, Mrs F and Fury and the Regents and the WSC just clashing adsfghjkl

Pete and Tony Stark either getting on great or absolutely despising each other!

Oh, and if we're rly making it Marvel/MCU with all the Avengers characters, Nat and Myka could exchange fighting tips, Clint would steal Helena's grappler to improve an arrow design...

Skye and Claudia would definitely take over the world via computer!

HG could meet Captain America, and bemoan the way they are lost in time together!

>>> Though that brings me to the question: are the Warehouse characters identical to canon, or do their backstories change? I don't want to take Helena's backstory away entirely, she wouldn't be herself if she was just a modern sci-fi woman without the jump forward in time. But maybe she is the equivalent of Captain America in this merge?

Also, I can't decide whether SHIELD should actually exist in some way, or just be replaced by the Warehouse... In canon, it more or less belongs to the FBI, so in this AU the Warehouse could be an even more secret division of the already super secret S.H.I.E.L.D. agency xD

>>> The helicarrier is also definitely problematic (not going into how MCU is problematic in so many ways anyway, bc then we'd still be here tomorrow lol), and I can see the Warehouse regents misusing that power, and that leading to conflict...

More moodboard variants:

This one I also like, kind of more grunge, dark aesthetic... Looks less techy and more like a steampunk-y sci-fi world still in the dangers of an invasion imo

Also I hadn't turned Myka's image yet, and while the original with Maria Hill looks fine as is, somehow the manip just looks weird without tilting her more upright

Aaand a long one:

Image sources:

Myka

Helena

Myka's body (Maria Hill) & background

Helena's background

W13 font

Helicarrier background image

Helicarrier

Warehouse shelves

Warehouse

Warehouse logo

All edits by me :)

If you also want to use SHIELD!Myka and Helena on the Helicarrier, here are the full pics, just credit me/this post if you use them!

I'm pretty sure I still don't have a W13 tag list? On the other hand I actually have a Bering and Wells sideblog @hgwellsmykabering , so if you follow that one you'll probably get all my content anyway :D if someone still wants to get tagged when I post new W13 things, just let me know!

#my post #beringandwellsappreciationweek #my w13 #bering and wells #warehouse 13 #marvel #warehouse 13 crossover #marvel fusion #my marvel #my agents of shield #mine #lilo makes moodboards #w13 moodboard #bering and wells appreciation week #Bering and wells moodboard #marvel moodboard #lilo edits #lilo creates #galactic-pirates

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camaro-and-smokes · 11 months

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Pretty (wo)man

Chapter 7: A Secret Gets out

READ TAGS FOR THIS CHAPTER BEFORE READING: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Referenced Object Penetration, Implied/Referenced Torture.

See rating, warnings and tags for the whole fic on AO3. General warning: This work as a whole includes themes related to and mentions of prostitution, sex work, and sexual abuse. I will add tags with every new chapter and notes when anything particularly nasty is being depicted, but if this kind of content isn't your cup of tea to begin with, please move on. Consider yourself warned. Please, proceed.

Moodboard by the wonderful @a-redharlequin 💜

Other chapters on tumblr >>

Read on AO3 >>

Summary: Steve takes Billy to see a miracle. And then to his surprise, witnesses another one - just not such as nice.

::::::::::

On the third day the yacht stopped to a small port. Steve knocked on the bathroom door. "Come on, William, we're going to miss the tender soon!" "Okay, okay, I'll be right there!" Billy said, and checked himself in the mirror once more. His hair was on a loose bun, and he was wearing white cotton trousers and a red, short-sleeved shirt with most of the buttons open. When he opened the door, Steve looked at him, surprised. "Oh, hey. You look..." "Like a man?" Billy smirked as he passed Steve. Steve chuckled as he grabbed his coat and opened the cabin door for Billy. "I was going to say nice, but yes, that too."

"Hey, we're getting our own boat!" Billy said, surprised, when there were no other people waiting for a ride to the shore. "Uh, that was actually the plan," Steve said, smiling as he stepped into the boat, and gave his hand to Billy to help him on it. Billy was taken aback and he stopped before he could step onto the boat. "Oh?" "Well, come on. There's something I want you to see." Billy frowned. "Something we can't see in the port?" "We most definitely won't see this in the port. We'll go there later to eat. Now, come on," Steve said. "I know you might like it."

The boat took off and instead the shore it turned towards the open sea. "So, do you have a secret map with a massive X over on a tiny island where we'll find unfathomable treasures?" Billy asked, grinning. "You could say so," Steve smiled. "Seriously, why aren't we going to the shore like everyone else?" "Well, I think Amanda was clear on what she thinks about us, so I thought let's give her some slack." Billy let out a laugh, and rubbed his thigh with his hand. "She doesn’t really deserve that though, I guess." Steve placed his hand on top of Billy's. "Well, maybe I wanted to show you something special, too." Billy looked at Steve's hand on top of his for a while, then back at Steve, who was smiling a small smile. All of a sudden Billy felt shy, and he turned to look to the sea.

Steve kept stroking Billy’s knuckles with his thumb and leaned to Billy’s shoulder. When he said nothing, Billy glanced at him. A smile still tucked at the corner of Steve’s mouth. “What?” Billy asked, amused. “Nothing. It’s just...I’ve missed being with someone like this. Not needing to fill the silence with useless blabber.” “I can blabber if you want,” Billy grinned. Steve laughed. “I’m sure you can,” he said. “But I prefer this. I mean, not silence per se, just the feeling that there’s no need to say something just for the sake of talking.” Billy looked again at Steve’s hand on top his, at Steve’s thumb stroking his knuckles. "It’s easy with you,” he said, and turned his hand around, allowing Steve to lace their fingers together.

After a good while the boat slowed down and finally stopped. "We're here," Steve said enthusiastically. Billy looked around. "What's here? All I can see is water." "Just wait," Steve whispered surreptitiously. The boat had floated with the calm waves long enough to make Billy almost lull to sleep when there was a sudden spurt of water shot up in the air on Billy’s side, close enough for mist to reach the boat. "What the hell?!" Billy exclaimed and turned to look at the direction of it. His eyes widened and his mouth fell open in wonder as he saw a group of whales taking a breath on the glimmering surface. Not just one, but at least three. "They're humpbacks," Steve said, "Look, one of them is a calf, I think. That small one," he continued, pointing a finger at the smaller whale already diving back into the depths. After the massive tail fins dipped under the surface gracefully, the sea was calm for a moment. Billy looked at Steve wide-eyed. "Are they gone for now?" "Let's wait for a moment, they’ll probably come back," Steve said, leaning over his side of the boat to see into the water. "Oh! Hey, the small one, it's here!" Billy gasped when he saw the calf coming up to the surface and swim by the boat on his side, examining it with its gaze. Steve leaned on Billy to see the baby whale slow down, looking back at them and then dive back down. “It’ll come back again in a moment, I’m sure. Though it’s mama might come check on us too if the calf gets too excited about us.” “They’re huge!” Billy said, excited. “The calf was at least 20 feet long!” “And yet so graceful,” Steve replied. “Yeah,” Billy sighed in wonder.

While Steve was as excited of the whales as William, he really had eyes only for William. How William’s face lit up each time the calf swam by the boat. The way the corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled at the animal. How the tip of his tongue got caught between his teeth with the wide smile. Him leaning out from the boat towards the water, bare inches away from touching the calf, reaching out to have a brief connection with one of nature’s most glorious miracles.

This was something real, something who William really was. Curious about the world, appreciative of its wonders. Not taking it for granted. This was why Steve had wanted to bring him here. Even if they hadn’t seen any whales, they would’ve seen some dolphins that were jumping out of the water further away, also curious of the boat idly floating on the surface, but appreciative enough of the whales and their size to keep a distance.

Steve’s insides were burning. Finally he knew something of William that was true.

They remained watching the whales until the animals had gotten their curiosity filled and dove into the depths for the last time.

William turned to look at Steve with such genuine smile that Steve’s heart ached. “That was amazing,” William gasped. “I was hoping you’d like it.” “How did you know of this? I mean, can you just find them anywhere, just like that?” Steve chuckled. “No. This is a breeding area, so they’re more likely to stick around here. Actually seeing them is not always guaranteed, though.” He pointed at the dolphins that were now swimming slowly closer. “We would’ve probably seen dolphins though.” “Right, we would’ve seen just wild dolphins,” William said with a lilt. “You care about animals,” Steve said. “Of course I care about animals. Who doesn’t?” “Not everyone,” Steve said, and stroked William’s arm with his fingers. “And not everyone appreciates this kind of trip.” William snorted. “Right.” “No, I’m serious. Amanda didn’t.” William looked at him, stunned. “She didn’t think...” he pointed at the water, “that was incredible?” Steve pursed his lips and shook his head. “What a bitch.” Steve snorted. “You can say that again.” “What a bitch,” William repeated with a smile, making Steve laugh.

When the boat took off back towards the shore, Billy moved to sit next to Steve. “I love animals,” he said quietly. It was small enough truth to reveal. “I always wanted a dog.” “Did you have one when you were a kid?” Steve asked and placed his arm on the backrest of the couch, brushing Billy’s shoulder with his fingertips. Billy looked down in his hands. “No,” he replied. “But our neighbor had one. A pitbull mix. The kindest dog I’ve ever met.” A smile crept on his face. “Her name was Candy. She gave the sloppiest kisses, licking your face as soon as you got close enough,” he said with a laugh. “Maybe you can have one later,” Steve said. Billy looked up at Steve. “I hope so.”

They spent the rest of the day in the shore, wandering through the narrow alleyways of the town once they had eaten. “Ever been abroad?” Steve asked when they were walking back to the port and to the tender that was waiting for them. “Like this?” “Yes.” “No, not on a yacht. A client...uh, well, I was in Vancouver with someone for a few days. It was a long time ago.” “Was it any nice?” A smile tucked the corner of Billy’s mouth. “Not this nice.” Steve smiled. He reached out to take Billy’s hand in his, lacing their fingers together again. “Good. Despite us having to tolerate Amanda’s attitude, it’s been nice for me too.” “Well, if we give her slack some more she doesn’t have to see us in the dinner table either. Might as well get the dinner brought to the cabin?” Billy said with a wide smile. Steve pursed his lips and placed his hand on Billy’s waist, pulling him tightly against him. “I think that might be a good idea.”

The fish they had for dinner was fresh, straight from the port and the fishermen who’d caught it in the morning. “This was heavenly,” Billy said as he finished his meal and set the cutlery on the side. “I’m so full.” Steve pointed at the side table that had a pot of coffee, mugs and a small cover hiding desert. “We still have to finish that.” “I’m sure I’ve already gained at least a few pounds over the last few days. I have to start keeping an eye on my figure or I won’t fit into the dress I have for the wedding.” Steve bit his lips together. “What’s the color of the dress?” Billy’s face lit up. “Wanna see it?” Steve shook his head. “No. I want it to be a surprise. But I want to know the color.” “Emerald green.” Steve took a sharp breath, but it turned into a wide smile quickly. “It’s perfect.” Billy’s brows knitted together. “Why?” “You’ll see.” Billy pushed his lower lip out in a pout. "Why won't you tell me?" Steve got up and extended his hand to Billy. When Billy took it, Steve pulled him up from the chair and wrapped his free arm on Billy's waist, pulling them tightly together. He kissed Billy's knuckles and slowly swayed them around in a silent rhythm, leaning their foreheads together. "It's a secret," he whispered. "Like the whales?" Billy whispered back. "Kind of." "It was amazing to see them so close. They were so big and yet so calm." "I'm glad you liked it." "I loved it. Thank you for showing them to me." "Anyone who loves whales can't be a bad person." Billy chuckled, but the smile slowly vanished. "I know what you're doing." "What am I doing?" "You're trying to get me to open up." "Is it working?" Billy looked away, and thought for a while how to word what was in his mind. "The world where I come from, it's a cruel one. The real me has to remain behind the curtain when I'm on stage. Nasty things can happen and you just have to separate yourself of it. If you don't, you can't do it. I was... once... a client seemed nice but then it all went south and..."

Billy bit his tongue. He hadn't meant to say anything about that. About what had happened to him. It was in the ancient past, but it kind of slipped out.

Because what Steve was doing was working. He was making him feel safe and cared for. And thanks to that his deepest secret was all of a sudden sitting on the tip of his tongue. He hadn’t told it to anyone, not even to Cassie. He was so ashamed of it, letting it happen to him. It felt like a just punishment of every wrong he’d ever done, for allowing strangers do just about anything to his body, for letting them shred his self-dignity in pieces night after night. It was one mistake in a line of many, but this one almost cost him his life.

And all this time he’d wanted to tell someone, but it had felt so humiliating that he just couldn’t say the words. And yet, he needed to tell someone to get the burden off his chest.

And the thing was that he wanted Steve to know. Because even though he had tried his best to be careful, he had already given in, abandoned his own set of rules on the second day they had seen each other, right there on the plane. Billy didn't know how love was supposed to feel like. Was it the warm swelling in his chest each time Steve looked at him or touched him? Or was it the reason why he wanted to make Steve smile and feel good and not because he got paid but because of Steve... Maybe he then had fallen a little. He might as well jump into the deep end and see if Steve would dive after him.

"I was raped by a client."

Steve’s smile melted away and his eyes widened. Billy expected to see pity or disgust in them, but the dark brown ponds looked at him with concern. "When?" Not even a hint of laughter, no scoffing of a man can't be raped. Just worry and genuine concern. Billy could feel hot tears pooling in his eyes. "A few years ago. He got me drunk, drugged me, and then he wanted to..." Steve hugged Billy tightly and kissed his temple. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me if it's difficult."

Billy didn't want to go to specifics. Because he didn't care to remind himself of any of it. But he wasn't able to close the floodgates now that he'd opened them. "He cuffed me. It would've been fine if we had agreed about it. If I’d been sober," Billy sniffled. "I couldn't fight back and then... He didn’t use just his dick.” Steve's brow furrowed. "You mean...he used something else?" Billy nodded. "I had fourteen stitches. The doctor said I could've bled to death." "I haven't seen any scars on you." Billy grimaced. "The wounds weren't on my skin." Horror set on Steve's face as the words registered. Billy was sure that he'd gone too far and he pulled back from the hug. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I told you that. I shouldn’t have..." "Hey, don't ever be sorry," Steve said and reached to take Billy's hand. "No one should go through anything like...that." He squeezed the hand gently. "But it wasn’t your fault. You didn't deserve it. No matter what you do for living. Some people are just...vile."

Billy had beaten himself over what had happened so many times. Being able to finally tell about it to someone and then being given an absolution from all the guilt, being told that it wasn't his fault made him break down.

Steve hugged William tightly, letting him cry it all out. He could only imagine what kind of horror and pain William had gone through.

They stood in the middle of the cabin until Billy's sobs eased and he let out a deep, relieved breath. "Do you know who it was?" Steve asked. Billy shook his head. "No. All I remember that he had a thick and loose wallet like yours.” Steve was quiet for a long while. "That was why you were hesitant with me at first, right?" he asked. Billy nodded. "You reminded me of him too much." Steve hugged Billy a bit tighter. "I could never do anything like that to you, William. To anyone." "I know," Billy said quietly. "You're not like anyone I've ever known before."

#harringrove fic #harringrove fanfiction #harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #steve x billy #billy x steve #Billy hargrove needs a hug #stranger things fan fiction #suometar writes #pretty woman

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leos-regression-cove · 1 year

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Ha! Jokes on you! The deluge of posts below were actually all #agere fic inspo all along!

Basically (no spoilers no spoilers), I have come to the conclusion (after lots and lots of careful deliberation), that officially, "All The Lessons I Never Learned" takes place in 2014!

Why? + Mobius backstory timeline

All the cultural references I've included up until now, are on track with that year! For example, Thor watches Peppa Pig, Yo Gabba Gabba, and The Wonderpets*, all of which were airing in 2014! (*Wonderpets had finished but it was still being aired) AND it would fit my imagined headcanons of a slightly dated, pre-pandemic New York City and Mobius using a flip phone, or Sylvie enjoying Frozen. All because I'm writing about her kids tablet, and I got mine in 2014 and was using that as a basis! So I started looking for inspiration from M0mspc and then I was like... "but if this is 2014, gay marriage won't be federally legal for another year!!"

So I got even more invested in the old images and started coming up with backstory for Mobius. It's mostly already in the story but like Idk I think the images make a moodboard, so I've made a timeline...

1983:

Mobius enrolls in a police science program but even though he really tries, he can't help but think it isn't what it should be. He stays in it for another year because of this girl he's dating, Ravonna Renslayer. She's in law-- Real law --studying to be a lawyer and he's pretty smitten with her.

June 2003:

Mobius and Ravonna get married. They took a long break after college but the universe seemed to want to push them together. They do all the typical couples things because they feel like they're supposed to. They have the big fancy wedding that everyone expects them to. They get a starter home. It isn't super suburban, but it's suburban enough. They both need to get to work easily, so they're in the city. They're happy like this it's the American dream. It's supposed to make them both happy. Mobius has been working in business for about 20 years now and is celebrating 15 years at his company. He hasn't moved up that much... but that's alright.

December 2007:

Mobius gets his first digital camera for Christmas. He takes photos of everything for the next several years but never develops a real eye for photography. He's been married to Ravonna for about 4 and a half years now. Things are going... fine. But not well. They're really more of friends and they know mutually that they're drifting apart but won't say it out loud. No one's abusive or especially mean, but they just aren't made for each other. They stay together because Ravonna brings home a good chunk of money and Mobius is good at making dinners and showing that he cares, even if he isn't a particularly intimate husband.

Late 2008/early 2009:

In a last ditch effort to fix their marriage, Mobius and Ravonna finally make the decision to adopt a little. They've gone back and forth on whether they wanted kids, littles, or just a dog, but something came up and they take home Sylvie. Because he makes a little less money, Mobius stays home to take care of her for the first few months. Ravonna, as much as she loves Sylvie, just isn't around enough to be a super present, driving force in her life. They go out as a family some weekends and on occasion Ravonna can take over for few hours but it's mostly just Sylvie and Mobius. Around this time Mobius also discovers that he's gay and makes a couple stops at The Barracuda drag lounge when Ravonna says she'll watch Sylvie.

2010:

Ravonna and Mobius separate and Ravonna moves to Pennsylvania for a new job offering. It's an amicable divorce and Mobius gets custody of Sylvie with a decent sized alimony/little-support check. He moves into an smaller, older apartment with cheap rent for Manhattan. He lets Sylvie paint her own room. It's a hideous green but... eh... everything in the place kind of was so he didn't beat himself up too bad about cleaning up when she drew on the walls or got slime in the carpet.

December 2013:

For her birthday, Sylvie gets a Samsung kids tablet. She loves it. It's almost the only piece of modern technology in the little apartment: Mobius still has a flip phone, and a landline, there's a family computer in the kitchen, and there's an intercom box in the apartment that doesn't work and just makes staticy noises and has never been fixed, Sylvie has a cheap, chunky CRTV in her room, and even the one in the living room is a pretty primitive flat (read: "thinner") screen. She's in love with the device and can't wait to show everything she can do on it to her papa.

April 2014:

Mobius lands a new job at some Norwegian company. What do they make? He couldn't really tell you but it's an office management position, it's closer to home and Sylvie's little school, and the salary is almost double. It's a dream-come true for him.

early June 2014:

Mobius meets Loki. Well, they've met casually, but Loki needs to go on a trip and asks him for the days off. (<- Hey! That's the first chapter of the fic!)

early August 2014:

Mobius runs into Loki at a playgroup for littles and introduces Sylvie and Thor. They hit it off!

November 2014:

All caught up with where I am in the fic.

Loki and Mobius both understand that the other has some romantic interest, but they haven't really actually talked about it yet and are putting it off because they're scared that it might be awkward if maybe they were wrong the whole time. Neither of them is exactly totally, openly, out of the closet (Loki is struggling with his genderfluidity and Mobius is still working on calling himself openly gay, especially since until now, he's never really met anyone he'd consider actually getting into a relationship with), but they're both pretty on board spending a lot of time with the other. You could cut the romantic tension with a knife but you'll just have to suffer for a few more chapters (it's not forever!!!).

Anyway yes this is all from the images and my accursed brain.

#agere fic inspo #apologies for this post. It's 10pm and I'm a little stoned #long post #marvel agere #fanfic headcanons #are they technically OC's at this point? Are we that far from canon at this point?#Loki agere #agere headcanons #sort of?#au fanfiction

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manbehindthemask · 2 months

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Ascribe a song to each chapter of the fic so far

kisses ur baby head bcs u always give me such good questions. ik you probably want me to like. explain these song choices but i kinda wanna see what you get outta it :-) also i'm shit at explaining why my brain makes the conclusions it does jkghsdjkg

Chapter 1: Art in the Park, but the Park is A Haunted Campsite

Disco! in the Panic Room - Bug Hunter

"I spend most of my time alone/It’s not all that bad, you know"

Chapter 2: Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

In the Garden - Red Vox

"It's so simple/It's as easy as it can be/Make a monster/Lock it up, throw away the key"

Chapter 3: The Boy From the Lake & The Man Behind the Slaughter

Blue Pigz - King Shelter

"But you don't see what I see/You don't know what I know/I can see what I dream"

Chapter 4: Sleepaway Camp

Dark Red - Steve Lacy

"Something bad is 'bout to happen to me/Why I feel this way? I don't know, maybe"

Chapter 5: What to Expect When You're Being Kidnapped

Common Sense - Fallen Pine

"Don't ever ask yourself/If what you're doing is the right thing to do/Don't ever think about it"

Chapter 6: That Warning Won't Stop Me Because I Can't Read!

Inked in Red - Vision Video

"I count the dying hours underneath the burning skies/I'm running through the forests in the dead of night/Each way I turn I'm searching for a guiding light/But there just don't seem to be any signs of life"

Chapter 7: Momma's Boy

First Love/Late Spring - Mitski

"Wild women don't get the blues, but I find that/Lately, I've been crying like a tall child"

Chapter 8: Bob Ross But He's Hanging Out With a Serial Killer

Poor Grammar - Roar

"This life is punctuated by some missteps/Failing to glean the right emphasis and the meaning"

hopefully these songs make sense, ik i used a lot of these in the song moodboard but they just work so well??? overall?

#the painter and his muse #ask

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yandere-romanticaa · 2 years

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Tips on how to start your own blog! 💌💋

Since many people have requested this, I'm gonna show you some of the tips that helped me and my blog expand! Feel free to take some of these with a grain of salt, there's always room for improvement! Most of these are pretty basic, but I still think they're worth mentioning. And now, staring with:

1. Grammar.

I can't tell you just how important grammar is, oh gosh. I've clicked away from so many fan fics because the grammar was that awful, sorry not sorry. If you're not a native English speaker writing can be a good way to practice your grammar but if you want it to look okay, there are apps out there that can help you spell check most things, or just do what I usually do - when I'm unsure how to type a specific word I just look it up on Google, and Google fixes it for me, and after writing it down so many times it sticks in my memory. This process is a bit slow though, but it does work, at least for me!

I'm not saying you're not allowed to make mistakes at all, that's not true! I make them all the time (heck, I definitely made some in this very post), but if they're few and far in between, people will be much more forgiving!

2. Tags.

Tag your stuff, tag your fics, tag your characters, tag your fandoms, tag everything! Not only will this help you clean up your blog, but your stuff has a higher chance of showing up in the main feed AND it'll be easier for other people to navigate through your blog and find the stuff they want to find.

3. Be very clear with your rules, and put them somewhere visible.

It is what it is, a lot of people just don't read the bio and that's a fact. You have a better chance of it being spotted if you pin it right at the top of your blog, even if the lazy people who don't like to read that stuff might get confused and think it's a new post but haha, you tricked them.

But yes, rules. What fandoms do you write for? How many requests are you willing to take? How many characters can people send in, so on so forth. What is something that you won't tolerate being sent in your inbox? Be very careful with this! And also, limiting your requests is actually a smart decision, don't be like me who piles them up! I have fortunately gotten better with this though!

4. Pick an aesthetic.

Okay, hear me out - people like things that are pretty and polished, we all know this. So, try making your blog look like that! Choose an aesthetic and try sticking to it, I was surprised to see just how much this helps! Also, decorate your blog by reblogging other aesthetics, moodboards, quotes, pictures, anything!

5. Don't be scared to try something new!

"Oh no, this is gonna suck!"

"No one will read this!"

STOP, I WILL bonk you over the head if I hear anyone talk about this! No matter how cringe you think your idea is, trust me, someone is going to like it and later, that someone will elaborate why they like it and that turns into a full on domino effect! I've written stuff which I thought wasn't that good and no one would like it but jokes on me, most of them turned out to be my most popular post! Do not be discouraged if someone talks down to you (or if you talk down to yourself) at least try. Even if it does flop, you can always try again.

6. Talk to other creators!

I've noticed that a lot of people here are super shy to talk to their favorite content creators, or just others in general! While that can be a little wholesome, don't let that stop you from expanding and potentially learning something new, or just getting inspiration! I literally don't know a single person that would mind if you just sent a random "Hi!" in their private messages, if anything, you might just brighten up their day, I'm dead serious! Talk to other people, discuss what to write, exchange ideas!!

7. Reblog other fics!

By doing this, you are helping other blogs out by giving them exposure, and they could help you out in the exact same way! Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not encouraging you to make friends and interact with posts simply to gain exposure but it is what it is, that's a side affect of this! Besides, people will have more stuff to go through on your blog, and they can find more while they're at it! How cool is that?!

8. (OPTIONAL) Don't be shy to open up!

I understand that some people are very private, and that is perfectly fine! That is a very wise choice to stay private as much as possible on the internet, but in my opinion it's also okay to say a few things about yourself too! After a while, people get a little curious on the personalities of their favorite content creators, and by opening up you can connect better with your audience! You start to understand them and why they followed you to begin with, and by doing so you can see what they like and dislike, and what you can write to make them happy in the future!

9. Have fun.

Your passion for writing will bleed into your craft, even if it doesn't seem like it when you start! If you truly care about the characters and the story you're writing about, it's impossible to hide it, even behind a screen! People will be dazzled by your ideas and they'll want more! Be mindful of yourself however, and don't go overboard. If life is getting to you, or you just don't have the energy, take breaks and unwind. Come back when you can, everyone will be patiently waiting for you. Writing, especially fanfiction, should be a fun and light-hearted experience, it's something that should come from the heart and pure passion! At the end of the day it's all just harmless fun that's meant to be enjoyed by everyone!

I think that's it! I can't seem to think of anything else but these are the things that kept me going for so long! If anyone else has any tips, don't hesitate to share! Thank you for reading my darlings!

#aesthetic #dark academia #writers on tumblr #writing tips #dark academia aesthetic #dark academia aesthetics #writing prompt list #yandere #yancore #yanderecore #yandere aesthetic #random #ana rambles

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alittlegiraffe · 3 years

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MasterList

Things to know:

Most of my fics will feature some element of DDlg, ABO dynamics, or Dom/sub.

Constructive criticism is okay, but not just being rude.

Requests are open, but not guaranteed.

If they're listed below, even if I don't have a story up yet I'll write for them.

Click here to see who my main lust crew is.

Click here to read about me, and know my tags.

Asks always open

Requests: Open

Kinktober AMA

Bucky x Reader

Stay With Me

Bucky x Reader

When the Winter Soldier gets triggered you know the only thing that will stop Bucky is you. You just feel too little to do anything to help after separation anxiety causes you to regress.

Don't Talk to Her

Bucky x Reader

When Bucky was ordered to go to counseling you were also told to go. Your's might've been more voluntary, but it kept Bucky talking. He'd do anything to keep you away from the trauma you'd experienced when he couldn't protect you.

Really Sargent?

Bucky x Reader

A/B/O fic

You and Bucky have been hiding your bond. What happens when you go on a mission too close to your heat?

Daddy Bucky Moodboard

Let Me Love You Until You Love Yourself

Bucky doesn't exactly understand the modern world, what he does understand is that you won't take care of yourself. TW: Anorexia

Innocence

There was something about your innocence that took Bucky's breath away.

Domestic Bliss

Bucky didn't deserve to be happy, yet he seems to find it in all the little moments. You know he deserves every joy, so you work it into every moment you can.

Stucky x Reader

What Friends Do

Poly!Stucky x Reader

When Bucky got snapped, Steve wasn't in any condition to take care of you. So instead of losing one daddy you lost two. You're left alone to try and hold yourself together, but you little side can't be suppressed forever.

Part 2: Whatever it Takes

Bucky returns

Stucky Aftercare Headcannon

Steve x Reader

A Little Help

Steve watches as you struggle to get your favorite mug after someone put it up too high.

Aftercare Headcannon

Tony x Reader

I Am Iron Man Masterlist

Your journey as Tony Stark's little through the MCU.

Playing with Tony's hair drabble

Daddy Tony's Bad Day Drabble

Tell Your Heart to Beat Again

Aftercare Headcannon

After a call with your mom leaves you emotionally shattered, you make a choice that could change everything. Luckily Tony's impulsive nature takes hold and he's there to catch you when you fall. TW: suicidal themes

Breathe

Stony x Reader

Sometimes the darkness is too much, sometimes you Tony doesn't get it. Sometimes the way out looks too appealing.

Date Night

Tony and the reader have an unconventional date night.

Between Two Halves of My Heart

Summary: You'd been commited as Steve and Tony's little for years, and now forces out of your control threatened your bond, your family. Can you hold your family together?

Loki x Reader

Thor x Reader

Mine

ABO Dynamics - Thor's been kept too busy to take care of his Omega. Some Asgardians think they should help out. That was a bad idea.

Brock Rumlow x Reader

Helpless Against You

You had trusted your all to Brock, only to be shown what he was. Now as your little side is spiraling you're left with a decision to make.

Stress Relief <- Smut

Daddy's been stressed at work, and you agree to help him relieve some of his stress. He just has to show you what he wants.

Daddy Brock Moodboard

My Girl - Jealousy Headcannon

Clint x Natasha x Reader

Stucky x Wanda x Reader

Skurge x Reader

Wanda x Reader

Natasha x Reader

Non-Marvel

Leonard McCoy x Reader

Possessive Daddy!Leonard Moodboard

Damn it Jim

When Jim leaves Leonard's little feeling insecure Daddy had to show her exactly who she belongs to.

John Kennex x Reader

Billy Butcher x Reader

Vaako x Reader

Judge Dredd x Reader

Andy Barber x Reader

Sweetheart HC

Ransom Drysdale x Reader

Jefferson (The Mad Hatter) x Reader

Obi Wan Kenobi x Reader

Master's

Your perfect Jedi Master was the ideal candidate for the esteemed position on the surface. Behind closed doors though he was a different kind of master, but he demanded just as much respect.

RPF Masterlist

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youbloodymadgenius · 3 years

Text

Ivarello (Modern!Ivar x reader) Chapter 1

Moodboard by @quantumlocked310

Ivarello’s masterpost here

A/N: This is my entry for @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie 500 Followers Fairy Tale Challenge. It's a retelling of Cinderella. Congrats again, darling 💖

A huge thank you to @mrsalwayswrite, who's a great beta reader and an even greater cheerleader 😂

A massive thank you to @quantumlocked310, @vikingstrash and @serasvictoria. Thank you for agreeing to collaborate and for sharing your talent with me. Your moodboards are beyond amazing 🤩

In this story, Sigurd is alive. Ragnar and Aslaug are dead, but Lagertha didn't kill her. I took a lot of liberties with the show, I hope you won't mind.

Unlike the tale, there will be no magic involved. Not everything will be realistic, however. It's a fayritale, after all!

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Summary: Orphaned five years ago, Ivar and his brothers have been living with Lagertha ever since. Now 16 years old, he wants to attend Harald's traditional Midsummer party, but obstacles stand in his way.

Warnings: description of car crash; orphaned kids; Sigurd being Sigurd; OOC characters.

Words: 1806

Additional note: I'm afraid I'll disappoint some of you. No more newspapers... The articles defined the setting of the story. From now on, it'll be a regular fic.

Hope you enjoy it nevertheless 🙂

🛡⚔️🛡

June 2021

Ivar yawns, rubbing his eyes, when he suddenly hears the front door open. The next moment, Ubbe shouts, "Hey baby bro, we're home!"

Slightly confused, Ivar looks at the time on his computer. Stunned, he blinks repeatedly, shakes his head and checks the time again, now looking at his watch. "Guess I lost track of time," he mumbles as he realizes it's really 5:30 pm. He clears his throat. "I'm coming!"

Yawning once more, he wheels to the kitchen. Hvitserk waves at him with one hand as Ubbe greets him with a grin and Sigurd... Well, Sigurd ignores him, as usual.

"Hello boys!" Lagertha smiles as she also enters the kitchen. "Did you go to the beach this afternoon?" It's a rethorical question, since sand can be seen on the tanned skin of his brothers, shirtless and wearing only swimming shorts.

When she looks down at him, her smile becomes softer. "Ivar, you seem tired. Did you work all day long?"

He nods, glad that for once she called him by his first name and not by one of those stupid nicknames that she likes but that make his skin crawl.

"Yep," he shrugs without smiling back, "I made good progress. The new version of your website is almost done. It could probably be online by the end of the week."

His stepmom flashes him a beaming smile. "Great, thanks!"

The conversation then moves on to the subject that everyone in Kattegat has been talking about for the last few days: the midsummer party thrown by their neighbor Harald Hårfager. Every June, it is Kattegat's not-to-be-missed event, to which every resident hopes to be invited.

Lagertha is invited every year, yet rarely attends; his brothers wouldn't miss it, not in a million years; Ivar never went.

He listens with half an ear as his brothers prattle on about the upcoming party, while taking a seat at the large, wooden kitchen table on which Lagertha has just put cakes and drinks.

"What are you going to wear?"

"Do you think Marit will attend this year?"

"Hopefully the music will be better than last year."

"Can't be as bad! What was the name of that reggae band?"

For a fleeting moment, Ivar entertains the thought of attending as well. Not that he's dying to, but… Sometimes, he feels a little bit like Cinderella in this house.

Don't get him wrong, it's not that bad.

First, his stepmom is not–

Wait, wait, wait, is Lagertha technically his stepmom? He's not sure. After all, she wasn't when his parents were alive, she was just his father's first wife. Anyway, she may be his guardian now, but he sees her as his stepmom and he honestly doesn’t give a shit if it's a little weird.

Where was he? Oh yes, Cinderella.

So obviously, Lagertha is not a wicked, haughty and abusive stepmom like this Lady Tremaine of the fairytale.

Actually, even if it pisses him off to admit it, she's pretty nice, patient and composed. Does he love her? Let's not exaggerate – he doesn't. She may love him though, which is a little bit uncanny, if he's being honest. He was the favorite son of her nemesis. Shouldn't she hate him? He would, if the situation was reversed.

The truth is, when he was younger, he tried, he really tried to hate her, blaming her for everything and anything. When too much pain prevented him from sleeping, he let his imagination run wild. There, bound to his bed of suffering, he could see Lagertha cutting the brakes on his mother's car, causing her crash, causing her death.

Of course, even then, he knew deep down that Lagertha had not killed his mother; that the story he told himself was just the product of his endless nights of insomnia. But what can he say? He needed this. Because blaming Lagertha rather than admitting that his beloved mother was at fault – by being distracted, or by falling asleep, he'll never know – was easier for the heartbroken boy he was.

Anyway... So yes, Lagertha is definitely not an evil stepmother like Cinderella's.

Also, he doesn't sleep on a sorry garret, on a wretched straw bed either.

Actually, he has a very large room on the main floor, with a king-size memory foam bed, a walk-in – well, a wheel-in for his case – closet and his own, huge bathroom, fully equipped for his special needs.

Sure, the bathroom and the dressing room were already there when his parents were alive; however, the memory foam mattress had been Lagertha's idea.

Anyway... So yes, he can't exactly complain about his sleeping conditions, unlike Cinderella.

And obviously, he's not forced into servitude.

Actually, one might think so, but no, he's not. Sure, sometimes he works for his stepmom, like today. But so do his brothers. When she had taken them in, she was a powerful businesswoman, working twelve to fourteen hours a day. Once she had become their guardian, she had rearranged her working time and learned to delegate; but even so, she had often run out of time. Therefore, it had seemed normal to them – yes, even to him – to help her out, each of them according to their skills and abilities.

So, while Hvitserk almost always does the grocery shopping, while Sigurd vacuums and does the laundry, while Ubbe mows the lawn and trim the bushes, he, Ivar, runs her company's website and sometimes even does the accounting. And since he loves computers and numbers, it's not exactly a problem.

Anyway... So yes, he's not a slave in this house. Unlike Cinderella.

So, yes, to sum it up, he can't really complain and he's by far not Cinderella. And he knows it.

But... Yes, there's a but...

Sometimes, he feels trapped, as poor Cinderella must have felt.

Sometimes he feels like a spectator of a life he doesn't belong to.

Sure, he doesn't have to be homeschooled – but gods, he's glad he is. The reasons for him to be continuously bullied by classmates are endless. The simplest ones being: he is a cripple, an orphan, the son of a dead mob boss, the smartest one in the whole damn school, let alone his class. Take your pick. It's no fun, no fun at all. Being home alone is preferable to that alternative.

Therefore, barely leaving the house except for medical appointments, he has no friends. He doesn't do sports either – obviously – and yeah, he lives a lonely life, filled with video games and Netflix series. And he's okay with that. Well, most of the time.

Sure, his brothers, or at least Ubbe and Hvitserk, always try to include him as much as possible. But the truth is that because of his legs, there are many, many things he just can't do.

And the other truth, the less pleasant one, is that he partially did that to himself. He cut himself off from a world that hurt him, yet he still misses this world sometimes. At times, he blames himself. Because his life, honestly, is hardly what you would call a life, is it? Not when you're sixteen.

That's why sometimes, like now, he feels this longing, almost a need, to live. To really, truly, fully live. And that's why, for a brief moment, lulled by the light chitchat of his brothers, he considers attending Harald's midsummer party.

But he knows better. This life is not for him, never has been, never will be.

And so, shaking his head, he chases the thought away and, placing his hands on his push rims, he's about to leave the kitchen while the incessant babbling of his brothers goes on.

"I can't wait."

"Don't tell me! As every year, the most beautiful girls of Kattegat will be there."

"Remember that burger food truck? Best burgers ever!"

"I've heard Y/N would be attending this year."

"There'll be booze and girls! Sounds like Valh–"

Wait. His mind goes blank.

Fuck.

What? Did he hear right?

As he replays his brother's words in his head, it's like there's an earthquake happening inside of him.

Fuck.

He stops breathing. Blinks, then clamps his eyes shut.

Fuck.

When he finally manages to draw air into his lungs, he swallows loudly before asking in a weird, high-pitched voice, his heart pounding in his chest, "What– What did you say, brother?"

Hvitserk turns his head toward him and shrugs. "I just said there'll be boo–"

"No, not you!" Ivar snaps at his brother, pointing his pointer finger at Ubbe. "You, what did you fucking say?" Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Lagertha frowning – 'no curse words in this house, boys'– and even if he barely contains an eye roll, he still mouths a quick 'sorry' at her before rewording his question, impatience coursing through him. "What did you say, dear brother? Who did you say would attend?"

Stunned, Ubbe looks at him with wide eyes. "Y/N? I said Y/N would come. That's what I heard anyway. She's Harald's niece. She was here once, right? Remember her, baby bro, huh?"

But Ivar is no longer listening, the blood draining from his face. Y/N... Y/N... Fuck. Finally. Fucking finally. After so long... He may see you again. Wow.

I'll go! I'll fucking go!

He barely contains the words, suddenly acutely aware of the deafening silence in the room, his brothers shamelessly staring at him.

With her brows furrowed and her lips turned downward in a slight frown, Lagertha takes two steps forwards before crouching down in front of him. "Are you all right, sweetie? You're a little pale."

He barely hears when Sigurd giggles, "A little pale? He's greener than an alien!"

Lagertha shoots Sigurd a dirty look and then gently cups Ivar's cheek. "Do you know her, Ivar? Do you know Y/N?"

Overwhelmed, self-conscious, freaked out, caught off-guard, he doesn't know how to respond. Should he tell the truth? Should he lie? His brothers will mock him, for sure. What is the point of telling the truth? What good would it do? On the other hand, he could really use some advice. Yeah. Sure. Advice from Sigurd. Just the thought of it is enough to make him sick. Fuck, what is he going to do?

Rushed words are out of his mouth before he can even gather his thoughts. "No. No. I don't. I mean, yes, I think I do but–" He's being pathetic and he hates it. So after a sharp intake of breath, he shakes his head and eventually replies in a flat, calm voice, the white lie rolling off his tongue. "I know her, but I thought Ubbe was talking about someone else. Sorry."

With these words, he hastily leaves the room, his eyes riveted on his knees, his heart still drumming in his chest.

Y/N. Fuck.

🛡⚔️🛡

Ivar's taglist: @waiting4inspiration @honestsycrets @lisinfleur @saldelys @gearhead66 @inforapound @readsalot73 @milkkygirls @xbellaxcarolinax @shannygoatgruff @zuxiezendler @hecohansen31 @lonewolf471 @fuckindiva @tgrrose @didiintheblog @peachyboneless @pieces-by-me @funmadnessandbadassvikings @ethereallysimple @destynelseclipsa @cocovikings23 @xceafh @mrsalwayswrite @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @pomegranates-and-blood @jadelynlace @grimeundglow @quantumlocked310 @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom

Ivarello's taglist: @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @hashimily @prepare4trouble @supernaturalvikingwhore @funmadnessandbadassvikings

#ivar #modern ivar #modern!ivar #modern-ivar #modern ivar x reader #modern!ivar x reader #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless #ivar ragnarsson #ivar imagine #ivar fic #ivar fanfic #ivar fanfiction #ivar vikings #vikings ivar #cherrypie’s500 #fairytale retelling #ivarello

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monsoonblooms12 · 2 years

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Choices Fandom Shoutout Day❤

First and foremost, loads and loads of thanks to @choicesfandomappreciation and @lovealexhunt for organizing this beautiful week of appreciating and expressing gratitude to all those who do so much for the community and make it a better place. Dani, you are an amazing human being and consider this a shoutout to you because without all your content, challenges, and events, this fandom wouldn't be what it is. So thank you very very much❤

For the rest of the amazing people, I am going to put everything under the cut (also a fair warning, there are going to be A LOT of hearts and I apologize in advance). So without wasting any time and in no particular order whatsoever, let's get started!:

I would like to begin by shouting out to my dearest soul sis @neotericthemis. Honestly, I don't know what I would do without you. Detectives by Chance is a series I hold close for a variety of reasons, and one of them is that it was the series that brought you to my life. I still remember when sometimes you would be the single reblog on my rambles and for me that one would be enough. Your words have motivated me to not give up, many times, and I don't think I have words apt to tell you just how much I love you and just how grateful I am for you. Thank you so so sooo much for everything, my sweetheart, I don't know what I would do without you❤

@maurine07 My dearest Maurine!!! You are such a gem, and there won't be a day when I won't say it to you. Your reblogs put me in a dilemma whether to laugh or cry with happiness. I treasure them so much. The way you catch the littlest of things and make sure to quote it back and put such lovely comments along with them make it a joy to read your reblogs (They also makes me fall short of words that can make an apt reply). I am so so soo very grateful for you, thank you so much for everything my dearest❤

@a-crepusculo Mia, Mia, Mia! Girl, where do I even begin? Your blog, your works, your fics, are a sort of comfort for me. Sometimes I ramdomly go through your masterlist and each of your works fill me with so much joy and warmth. Your fics are my absolute favourite and when I read them, I always get confused about which parts to place in the reblog because everything in them is so.damn.perfect! (That's why all my reblogs end up being enormous lol) Your edits are so beautiful, and your talent knows no bounds. Marchia and Ethan are my babies, my dearies, one of my favourite couples and I would die and kill for them. And you're so so supportive of everyone, reblogging all the content with such lovely comments, and kind words. You are a force to be reckoned and an inspiration, and I love you so damn much❤

@jamespotterthefirst BREEE! You are a Queen, a phenomena, a power. Girl, is there something you cannot do? From stunning moodboards & edits, to fics that make me stay up till 3 because I just can't stop reading, to hilarious social media edits and a couple that slays and will forever be one of the best couples ever (not to mention, they are one of my absolute favs and there is not one time when I don't fall in love with them. NOT ONE TIME). You have always been an inspiration, not only to me but to many manyy others. The way you have been one of the strongest pillars of this fandom increases my respect and adoration for you by ten folds. Newlyweds Questions, MC Mondays, and everything else that you do to bring this fandom together deserves a standing ovation and honestly, no number of compliments for you would ever match the amount of things you do for the fandom. I am so so grateful to have you as a friend, and I feel so lucky that I got a chance to read your fics, and meet such an amazing couple like E & L, who have and will always be one of a kind. Love you so much, dearest❤

@terrm9 Terr, you are ray of sunshine personified. Always so kind, and supportive. Always so full of kind words to say to others. Always such a positive presence. Ethan & Chiara, Lina & Tatum, there is something about your pairings that makes them stand apart, and shine bright. There is a beauty about them that can never be matched. Your writing makes their story even more beautiful. Every time I read your fics, I feel so warm and comforted (and sometimes broken and devastated). The emotions in your works are so profound, they never fail to pull the right heartstrings. There is a perfection in them that cannot be found elsewhere, and my love for your writing and your pairings increase exponentially everytime I read them & about them. Love you so much❤

@gryffindordaughterofathena Dri, my lovely Dri. Your works, your reblogs, everything touches my heart. Your reblogs on my fics, your kind words that make me want to shed happy tears, and your endless support makes me happy on my sad days. Your stories and the beautiful representation of our culture in them, they make it stand out. The power your fics have, the way they can make you and break you, and the sheer beauty of all the metaphors and imageries you use, they all make your works so unique and beautiful. And your pairings! First you gave us the adorable, power couple of E & Di and then you went on to give us the cute and gorgeous couple of Si & Dan and made everything even better. Forever in awe of your talent and thankful to have you as a friend. Love you so much❤

@headoverheelsforramsey Sruti!!! Meera is my baby. She is auch a force to be reckoned. She is power, she is inspiration, she is beauty. And so are your fics. From unique & beautiful pairings, to fics that slap and soothe, your talent is immaculate. And you're so incredibly kind! You are always so supportive of everyone around and I am so grateful to have in my life. Forever grateful for you, my dearest❤

@quixoticdreamer16 Kate, my sweetheart. Your comments always make my day a gazillion brighter. You are always full of kind words and support for everyone around, always reblogging other's works and never failing to put a smile on everyone's faces. You are such a golden presence in this fandom. Also, your baby Eiselee is such a sweet and beautiful person. Thank you so much for gifting us an MC like her. And thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for everything you do for the fandom. So so grateful for you and love you so much❤

@mvalentine Mal, you absolute gem of a person! Your fics, oh my gosh! They are works of art. Your ideas and the way you shape them and bring them to life, they always leave me speechless. I am always in awe of how incredibly talented you are. Also, Lana is such a Queen! Truly one of a kind and I love her so much <3333 And finally, your kindness, your support, your reblogs, everything you do for the fandom, it shows just how beautiful of a person you are, inside & out. So thankful for you and love you so much❤

@bex-la-get Bex, my dearest! Your fics are so so amazing. Warm and soft, painful and heartbreaking, and sometimes downright hilarious. Nat & E are total goals and my love for them goes on increasing day by day. And you are such a warm and comforting presence! Always so supportive and kind. Thank you for everything ❤

@choicesfanaf Pinky, my lovely! Your support is such a treasure and I am so grateful for you. Your reblogs make me so happy everytime and thank you so so much for everything. Love youu❤

@mysticalgalaxysstuff M, the light to my dark days🥺 You lovely, lovely soul, what exactly did I do to deserve you? Your reblogs, your support, they are a treasure to me. Notifs from you make my day so much brighter and better and I don't think I can EVER thank you enough. But still, thank you so so soooo much and I love you 3000❤

@genevievemd Sara, you talent. I bow down to you queen. Everyone of your fics, your edits and all the efforts you put into them is such an inspiration. And the way you make everyone feel at home and are such a beautiful soul inside and out. Thank you so much for everything you do, love you❤

@schnitzelbutterfingers Ansu, my darling. Abby is my baby, such a precious person. I love her from the bottom of my heart. And you, you lovely, talented, extremely supportive person!!! You are always so so kind, and all the reactions and comments you leave on my fics and works always make me feel so grateful🥺 Love you so much❤

@lawyerlies Ayz, dearest! How do I sum up in mere words how talented and amazing you are? From the references to your beautiful culture that you put out in front of the world through Anj (f*ck that anon who dared to say otherwise) and all the characters that you create, everything is so exquisite and amazing. The stories you tell and the support you give cannot be summed in a few words. Thank you so much for everything and love you❤

@anotherbeingsworld Alya, you kind, pure, dear soul. You are such an amazing person, inside and out. I still remember how we created a club and the motto the very first time we chatted. You are always so supportive of everyone around you and the way you write our favorite golden boy😍 You make me fall deeper in love with him everytime with your works. I am so so grateful for you, love you soo much❤

And some more amazing writers, creators, supporters and people who are such beautiful souls that this post would be incomplete if I didn't mention them. Thank you so much for everything you do for the fandom and it's an honour to get to know you amazing souls❤❤❤: @barbean @rosebudde @liaromancewriter @anonymousrookie @sophxwithers @potionsprefect @chaoticchopshopheart @clanlahela @josiesopenheart @trrfanaddict @drethanramslay @jerzwriter @starryeyedrookie @mm2305 @kalogh @misadrawss @lsvdw-blog @takeharryandgo @takemyopenheart @writer-ish @luvsyana @satrangee-ray @trappedinfanfiction @estellaelysian @utterlyinevitable @lucy-268 @aestheticartsx @peonierose @danijimenezv @adriansdeadwife (I know I am forgetting quite a few people, I will add them as I remember <333)

#choicesspreadkindness #choicesfandomshoutout #love you all to the moon and back❤#you have no idea how grateful i am for EVERY. SINGLE. ONE of you #and honestly everyone in this fandom who makes it a better place to be: thank you so so much

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nashibirne · 3 years

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DESPERADO - 4

Ready for the next part of Desperado? Here it is. You will learn about Helen's past and August's feelings but it's pretty emotional and angsty so I hope you still like it. Let me know and leave me a comment, reblog or like 💜

Pairing: Augut Walker x OFC (Helen Nichols)

Summary: August has survived the fight with Ethan Hunt and the fall from the cliff. A few lucky coincidences saved his life and he ends up with a woman that saves him and gives him shelter in her little hermit hut. He is at a turning point in his life. What is he going to do?

Word count: ~ 3.3 k

Warnings: A lot of angst, mentioning of death and grief, mentioning of sex

UNBETA'ED! English is not my mother tongue, so expect bad grammar, wrong spelling, chaotic punctuation and clumsy language. All mistakes are mine…

Credits: I don’t own August Walker and anything related to MI:Fallout. Pics for the moodboard from pinterest, face claim Helen: Rooney Mara

You can find parts 1 to 3 and my other fics on my masterlist.

Taglist (please let me know if you want to be added or removed)

@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @artandotherdelights @notabrobro @littlefreya @luclittlepond @eldarwen333 @meowpurrbooks @marantha @liliumdream @enchantedbytomandhenry @greensleeves888 @witcherfan @margauxmargaux07 @radaofrivia @m07belzen @a-little-counter-esperanto @starstruckkittyangel @mary-ann84 @sillyrabbit81 @emelinelovesjc @wheretheriversrunintothesea @lam0ureuxq

*************

Don't your feet get cold in the wintertime?

The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine

It's hard to tell the nighttime from the day

You're losin' all your highs and lows

Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?

From Desperado by The Eagles, Lyrics: Don Henley, Glenn Frey

August soon lost count. They had sex often after he had been able to dispel Helen's worries regarding protection by revealing that he had a vasectomy years ago. So they fucked almost every day, but Helen wasn't up for more than foreplay and the sex itself. It was always the same, when they were done she got up to take a shower before going on with her daily tasks and it left him feeling strangely used and empty.

After their first time he had mentioned that the folding bed seemed to be an unnecessary loan now and Helen's reaction had left him speechless. She had laughed out loud.

"I don't think so. I'm not planning on sharing the bed with you...August." His real name just wouldn't flow smoothly from her lips at this time.

"Why not? We've just fucked."

"That's sex, just physical. Sharing a bed is intimate. It requires trust and I'm sorry but I can't trust you as long as you don't tell me who you are and what you're involved in."

"I'm not going to rape or murder you in your sleep", he snorted, rolling his eyes.

"I know, but still…"

And so, since he still hadn't told her the truth about August "The Hammer" Walker and John Lark, they fucked but they didn't sleep together. August found it quite ridiculous but he couldn't do much but accept it. He just wasn't willing to reveal the dirty truth, even after Helen had finally told him about the FBI guy that had nosed around in the village and about that file that proved that his enemies considered him to be dead. He was too scared she would kick him out of her house and out of her life. He wasn't ready to lose her. Not yet.

Instead he got accustomed to the situation and in the next weeks they established a domestic routine that was new to both of them. Helen usually worked in the mornings. She was a journalist and writer and to his surprise August found out that in fact she was a bestselling author. She had published three books so far. One about her hermit life in Kashmir, one about the region as a destination for backpackers and an illustrated book that was dedicated to the beautiful nature in the Dachigam National Park and all three of them had been pretty successful in the US. So she worked on her new book till noon almost every day and August worked on his recovery, doing all kinds of exercises indoors and outdoors.

After lunch they did anything that had to be done around the house and Helen often left for a walk to collect berries and mushrooms or to take photos in the afternoon. August usually read a book when she was gone but on this day he decided to join her. He had done some runs in a small radius around the hut but he had never really explored the surroundings and he felt like missing out on something. Plus, if he was honest with himself, he wanted to spend some time with Helen. Quality time.

So they strolled through the woods on this beautiful, sunny day, enjoying the warmth of the sun and a light breeze that chilled their cheeks. Helen took a bunch of pictures, concentrating on moss and lichens that grew on giant rocks and gnarled, old trees. August was waiting for her to take a shot of an overgrown branch, leaning against a rock wall, his face turned towards the sun, his eyes closed. "Stay exactly like this." Helens soft voice made him smile but when he heard her camera click he opened his eyes with a frown. "What are you doing?" He turned his face away from her and started to walk on. "Taking pictures of you. You looked great in that light, all lost in thought." She jogged a few steps to keep up with him. "Oh yeah", he snorted, "I'm sure I looked like a supermodel." She stopped him by tugging at the sleeve of his jacket. "You looked like yourself. Confident and very handsome." Her smile touched him in a way that made his stomach flip and he really didn't know how to reply to her compliment. He just gave her a helpless smile and Helen placed a hand on his burnt temple, giving him a tender smile in return. August grinned the awkwardness away and when he turned around his eyes fell on a huge rock that was completely flat on the top , building a natural lookout point over the region. "Look", he said pointing upwards, "the view from up there must be fantastic."

"Yeah. Maybe." Helen gave him a look he couldn't really read. "Let's just go back home, okay?"

"First I wanna go up there." August ran his hands over the rough surface of the stones, glancing up to figure out the best way to climb the cliff.

"No, that's a bad idea, August. It's too dangerous, and your ankle…"

"My ankle is fine, Helen. It's been more than 8 weeks now. It's completely cured."

"Still... you're not a climber, you could get hurt." She sounded strangely anxious and August had no idea why. The cliff was very rocky, so that natural steps could easily be found and it wasn't very high. It didn't seem to be dangerous at all.

"You don't have to join me. I'll climb up quickly and will be back in a few minutes. You can take pictures of me conquering the mountain." He winked at her before he put a foot on a ledge and started to climb.

"No! August, please…" Helen yelled at him, the despair in her voice making him stop immediately. He turned to Helen with a frown. "I'll be carful, I promise."

"No! Don't do this. Please don't." She sank down on her knees, sobbing, staring at him pleadingly, her voice weak and trembling. August hopped off the rock and kneeled down beside her, taking her in his arms. She was crying now, hiding her face in her hands.

"Helen, calm down. I'm here, I won't climb, okay?" She wasn't able to answer, she just clinged to his body, weeping uncontrollably. He hugged her in a tight embrace, cradling her, rocking her trembling body gently back and forth. To his own surprise it didn't feel awkward or forced, it felt natural, he wanted to comfort her, he wanted to hold her and to be the one to make her feel safe and sound and all this made him realize that he had slowly and somehow unnoticed fallen for her.

He'd been in love before, of course, he hadn't always been a bitter, cold-hearted jerk, but that was years ago in what felt like a different life. So August Walker knew love but with time he had forgotten about the sensation, after far too many disappointments in his life, not only in love but mainly in his job, he had pushed all positive emotions aside and his heart had gone numb before turning into a stone. It seemed like Helen, with her tough, aloof but captivating and caring personality, was able to touch his heart, to make him feel again, to make him love again. The thought alone scared the fuck out of him but now was not the time to worry about himself, now it was time to take care of Helen.

"Shhh... it's okay. Everything is fine, Henny." He'd never called her that before, it was his secret nickname for her, he just used it in his thoughts, and when she heard it she lifted her head to look at him with a hint of a smile, her eyes still overflowing with tears. "I'm sorry," she sobbed.

"No need to be sorry. Just try to calm down." He smiled at her tenderly and gave her hair some soft strokes, still holding her in his arms. When Helen started to relax and her breath went back to normal, August pressed a kiss on her forehead. "Are you okay?"

"Yes." Helen gave him a sheepish grin. "I guess you think I'm totally nuts now." She blushed a little and August gave her a wink. "Don't worry. I've seen worse."

They didn't talk for several minutes, they just sat on the ground in the sun, snuggled up to each other.

"It's because of Allison", Helen broke the silence eventually, "she died like this."

"She died climbing?" August asked softly and Helen nodded, a sad look on her face. "Yes, and it was my fault."

"You said she died in an accident."

"Yeah, but it was still my fault."

"Tell me about it", August asked and after a short moment of hesitation Helen took a deep breath and started to talk. She told him how she and Allison had been on a backpack trip 8 years ago, both of them working for a travel magazine, preparing a report about Jammu and Kashmir, Helen as the writer, Allison as the photographer. They had stayed in the hut Helen lived in now, doing day trips to explore the region. Helen had heard of a special spot, a mountain that not only offered a spectacular view on a hidden lake but that also was kind of a biotope, a habitat for rare plants she wanted to write about. Allison had been hesitant about the idea of going there because they both were hikers, not climbers but Helen had persuaded her. When they had reached a plateau just below the top of the mountain Helen had backed out at the sight of the steep, exposed mountain ridge they would have to manage to get to the summit. She had refused to go any further but Allison wasn't willing to give up so close to their goal. Helen had begged her not to do it but Allison had insisted on trying. She had climbed only a few yards when she'd lost balance.

"I'll never forget the surprised sound she made when she fell. She hit a rock, hurting her head and she broke her back when she landed on the rocky ground of the plateau. It was terrifying." Helen was crying again, softly this time. August took her hand to soothe her and it seemed to work. She was able to talk again. "There was nothing I could do for her besides holding her hand. She had a fractured skull and internal bleeding. She died in my arms."

"I'm so sorry, Helen. That must have been dreadful", he squeezed her hand and he truly felt the sympathy that was showing in his eyes, "but this wasn't your fault. It was an accident."

"An accident that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't made her go on this stupid trip."

"You didn't know that it was dangerous. And it was her decision to climb on the ridge." August's voice was soft and tender and Helen was grateful for his sensitivity and his kind words. She rested her head against his chest with a sigh. "I know. The rational part of me knows that, but the irrational parts of my mind will never stop feeling that dreadful guilt. I just can't shake it off."

"Yeah, I know the feeling." August smiled at her and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Why did you stay?"

"I stayed because I needed a safe space to process what had happened and to mourn. I wanted to return to Maine when I felt ready to face the world again…"

"But you're still here."

"Yeah, I grew to like my hermit life and I fell in love with a man who helped me to deal with this tragedy. And so I decided to stay for good."

"Naseer?" August guessed.

"Yes. He was such a great support. He was always there for me, helped me to buy the hut, to renovate and furnish it according to my taste but our love didn't last. In the long run he wanted me to move to his farm, to become his wife and mother to his children, to live a traditional life as a married couple. But that wasn't my dream, not my vision of my future."

"But you're still friends."

"We are. Now. It took us a few years but after his wedding we found a way to leave the past behind and become friends. He's my only friend actually."

"No, he's not", August said softly and Helen gave him a grateful smile. "Thank you. For...all this. Listening and comforting me...and, well." She shrugged, blushing, gesturing vaguely at him and her and their surroundings.

"Of course. You took good care of me, today I take care of you, okay? Just tell me what you need."

Helen nodded. "I want to go home. Let's go back and watch a movie?"

"Sure. Haven't watched a movie in ages."

They got up and walked back to the house and Helen felt strangely happy when she linked arms with him and he let it happen. She knew it was foolish to become emotionally involved with a man she knew close to nothing about, who hid every personal information from her, who was bossy and cocky and way too stubborn for his own good, but she still couldn't help it. She was falling for August Walker and there was nothing she could do about it. It wasn't the sex, not only. He was a great lover, sure, experienced and skilled but what she really liked about him besides that physical component was his dry sense of humor, his cleverness, his confidence, his dignity and his passion. The way he had fought himself back to life, his willpower, the determination to work on his recovery as soon as he was able to leave the bed, ignoring all pain and exhaustion, had shown her that he was a fighter, a survivor. A strong, protective man she was so attracted to, it really scared her and it was also pretty embarrassing that she was so turned on by his alpha male vibes and the caveman attitude. But there was more to him. He had this broody, emotional side too and she was sure deep down inside he was pretty sensitive and maybe even warm hearted. And so over the weeks she had grown feelings for him, she'd tried to fight hard but unsuccessfully. Each time she went to the bathroom after having sex with August, it was a kind of helpless and futile attempt to wash away her emotions and pour the loving feelings down the drain. Unfortunately it never took more than one look into his eyes to resurrect them.

An hour later August and Helen were sitting on her couch in front of the TV, sharing a blanket and a plate with fruits and berries, waiting for the movie to begin. She had chosen a film called "The Shape of Water" he had never heard of before. The cover of the DVD was pretty strange, showing a couple hugging under water, the woman looking ordinary but her partner seemed to be some kind of fishman.

"It's a great movie," Helen said not for the first time, "very moving and romantic. The female protagonist is an outsider, a mute cleaner in a lab and she falls in love with an amphibian man."

It turned out she was right. The film was amazing and it left August extremely touched and with many questions running around in his head. They were eating the last berries, discussing the end of the movie, when he blurted out what he desperately needed to know.

"Could you fall in love with a monster?"

"He's not a monster. Not to Elisa."

"But everyone considers him to be one."

"Yes, because they don't understand him and his nature, they don't even try. But she does and she knows what lies underneath his spiky appearance."

"So you could? Fall in love with a man who is considered to be a bad man, an enemy, an unscrupulous monster?"

Helen looked him in the eyes, taking her time to answer. "If he was honest with me...if he let me see who he really is...if he explained himself to me and let me draw my own conclusions. Yes, under these conditions, I could fall in love with a monster. I'd rather have an honest monster than a lying saint."

August closed his eyes with a sigh that was full of relief but also filled with fear.

"Well, then let this monster tell you its story."

"You're not a monster…", Helen turned to look at him with a deep frown.

"No, Helen, please. Just listen, okay? And then -as you said- you can draw your own conclusions."

She gave him a nod and August started to talk. He told Helen about his loveless childhood with physically and emotionally absent parents, his youth as the time he gained recognition for being an extraordinarily good athlete and how it turned him into a confident, popular jock. His career at the CIA, his life as an agent, doing all the dirty jobs efficiently, eliminating public enemies indiscriminately and without asking questions in the first years. He admitted that he was nothing less than an authorized assassin legitimized by the state and he described how he got more and more frustrated with time, questioning his job, the national authorities and politics. He pointed out to her that his disillusionment, the years of frustration and the feeling of being caught in an unjust and outdated machinery culminated in following the ideas of Solomon Lane and finally in writing a manifesto under the pseudonym of John Lark. The hardest part was to confess that he had planned on eliminating one third of mankind by letting off a nuclear bomb in the mountains of Kashmir to alter things for the better. After he had ended with telling Helen about Ethan Hunt and their fight he was anxiously waiting for her reaction, not daring to look at her.

She didn't say anything for a very long time. When she finally started to speak, her voice sounded weak. "You would have killed me and all the wonderful people in this valley without the blink of an eye if Ethan Hunt hadn't stopped you?"

"Yes."

Helen nodded.

"I see. And if you had another chance, would you try again? Do you still stand by what you wrote in that manifesto?"

"No. I don't. Absolutely not."

"Why not?"

"I've had a lot of time to think about it during the last weeks and I lost my conviction. You've shown me another side of life, of thinking. You have made me feel again. Feelings I haven't had for the longest time. Feelings of love, Helen." August almost whispered the last words, scared of her reaction but Helen just nodded again, her face blank, her expression unreadable.

"Say something, Helen. Please." He took her hand but she pulled away.

"I can't, August. Not yet. I need time to process all you've just told me. I need some time on my own."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I'm going to return the folding bed to Naseer tonight and I'm going to ask him if I can stay with him and his family for a few days because I don't feel well and don't want to be alone. I'll return when I've made up my mind and when I have we won't need a second bed anymore. One way or another."

*****

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