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#can someone cook for me pls?
rosicheeks · 1 year
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😤
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caelanglang · 1 year
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when they started to fall, it never stopped : skk
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Guys I got high and wrote sad middle aged Shawn Michaels/ bretshawn menopause fanfic in my notes app… it’s gone off the deep end for me for real this time
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poems-of-a-lover · 10 months
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i feel like if someone just. told me they loved me. and meant it. i would be healed. and also kiss me. ill make u pasta abt it.
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cryingatships · 1 year
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Not me looking up Heatwaves to re-read it after a good couple of months just a day after it got deleted ahahahahaha
panic! In ao3 mystery work page
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kindagayfish · 1 year
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i am so deeply in love with wolfwood i need this man to be my wife NOW
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h-f-k · 7 months
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I was starting to panic and freak out over how extremely expensive and HARD it will be to find a new apartment bc i absolute need to move the fuck out out this one but then i was like… I don’t even know if the country will continue to exist after the elections so now I’m watching anime in my sofa like this
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winter-spark · 9 months
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Sometimes I think I might be romance repulsed but then I remember I’m a hopeless romantic.
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browntrait · 10 months
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hate me if u want but sydney from the bear is for black folk
thts all
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rosicheeks · 7 months
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😓
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haahka · 1 month
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raeathnos · 1 month
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#can the truck driver at work just like… not?#I’m so fed up with this dude#firstly he’s like overly friendly but in a bad way#he acts like he knows me and then assumes things about me and then gets annoyed when they’re not right#he asks me the one morning what kind of music I like and when I said edm he literally goes ‘nah you seem like a rock kind of chick’#firstly I’m not a chick secondly wtf?#and then he would not drop it- kept badgering me about it#‘are you sure? I like that kind of music too but I can’t picture you listening to it’#I asked him what edm artists he likes and he couldn’t name any and the. doubled down on the ‘no you’re holding out on me you def like rock’#also he’s low-key sexist but it’s getting worse 🫠#‘oh you can’t lift that box it’s too heavy for a woman’#dude. my guy. pls stop assuming my gender but also don’t fucking tell me what I can and can’t lift#but like the fucking audacity? do not place limits on me based on my assigned fucking gender dude#and the best fucking part is the boxes are always super fucking light#he’ll watching me lift a fucking 50lb box and then hand me a box of pillows and tell me to be careful it’s probs too heavy for a girl#my new gripe is the other day he interrupted me while I was sorting to be like ‘oh you’re so fast’#dude you’ve seen me do this every day for three months#but then! he asks if I cook and clean when I’m done with work#I thought it was a weird question because who doesn’t cook and clean and told him yeah I do#and for a brief shining moment I existed in a world where sexism doesn’t exist and thought he just hired someone to do his cleaning#nope. literally says to me ‘wow you’re the whole package! the perfect housewife!’#I had to storm off because I was fUCKING SEETHING#I am not a housewife. I am not domesticated. and it was a fucking weird thing to say to me at all#me and my husband split the chores evenly because that’s fair#this dude is divorced and I see why now#but the fucking audacity- when I tell you I was seeing red#talking about me like I’m a fucking servant- he’s said other shit before and I am getting fed up#shoutout to my husband tho- ‘housewife? ew no! you’re my feral housethey! :D’#sexist shit hits a lot of nerves- I do not need that shit + the disphoria first thing in the morning
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exopelagic · 2 months
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if I have to do one more thing on my own today someone is going to die
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nkogneatho · 6 months
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𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐘
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—a/n: ngl i cooked. overcooked even, so imagine some of the nastiest shit, this has it all. if i studied this much in my exams i would have a higher CGPA. anyways. hex codes are given. hope you like it.
—cw: dick+pubes+balls+cum analysis (kill me pls), monsterfucking in sukunas, creampie and breeding, never heard phrases from my dicktionary, not proofread plus it's 4 am i am half asleep
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𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔
code: length: #ffe8d6 , tip: #f2aab7
We all know it. King of long dick. okay but no fr he has the longest dick in jjk. but let's get to the details. so size?? a whopping 7 inches. but you know his dick does this thing that when it gets hard, it curves slightly so hey!! maybe the true size is 7.2 or something. about color...his cock has the same color as his normal skin tone but as it approaches to the tip, it falls under a blushing pink gradient. and god his tip is so pink when he's hard, it feels likes all the blood in his body is settling there. his pubes hmm? white bush. he does trim it tho. but c'mon man!! it's gojo satoru we're talking about. he gets off seeing your nose rubbing against his white trim when you deepthroat him. also it's very rare for people to deepthroat him because as i said, longest dick. which is why when you actually manage to take him all the way in, the rare feeling of the throat sucking in has him shooting his translucent load down your throat. how does his cum taste? slightly sweet. duh. he's a sweet tooth and the reason he doesn't get diabetes is because all the sugar goes into his semen.
𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈
code: length: #ad8272 , tip: #875f54
*long inhale* bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock. incase i wasn't clear. he has a BIG FAT FUCKING COCK. he has the cock of our dreams. his size is long and girth is thick asf. length would be about 6.8 or 6.7. well about the girth...3.5 inches. yeah. good luck sucking that in your hole lmao. let's get to the tone. his cock has much darker color than his body. he has one of those milktea brown cocks. and the cockhead is even darker like coffee. oh wait! the cockhead. right. so hear me out. DID YOU KNOW HE HAS A FAT MUSHROOM TIP? the kind that is so thick that it gets lowkey stuck in your hole when he pulls out. my man has to tell you to breathe and relax so he can get it out. about his balls, bitch they're as the same size as big lemons. like you know why he wears those baggy bottoms otherwise everyone would see those nuts easily. they're not even nuts. nuts are dry. his have so much cum inside that if he doesn't shoot his load in you or on you once a day, they'll actually explode. cum taste? i said it before here but incase you're new here, it tastes like if someone put a little lemon and msg in thick and creamy alfredo sauce. bye.
𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔
code: length: #c99a89 , tip: #fcd7ca
*evil laugh* i am not holding back on him but hear me out. HORSE COCK. have you seen it?? it's like curvy girthy cock. me thinks he has long hair and broad shoulders. and have you seen his hands??? it all sums up. isn't as long as gojo but god that meat is fat as fuck. his size has to be around 6 inches and the girth from a 2d angle is about 2 so i found the pythagorean theorem of his cock which is like 6.324 inches. so his tip starts at like 5.324 inches. about the tone...his dick starts darker—or maybe it's cuz of his pubes—at the base but as it reaches towards the head, it blends into the color of his skin tone. geto likes to clean shave sometimes but you know when he saw you drooling over his happy trail when he came out of the shower with a flimsy towel wrapped around his body, yeah he couldn't get that drooling expression of yours out of his head. so he trims it to the length that wouldn't get in the way and is easy to keep it clean but also enough to make you salivate. his balls are very similar to a fig in shape. aren't really fat but they grow hella tight when he is close to cumming. the taste of his cum is sour. i am telling you. like not too sour but it sorta has the acidic taste to it. but nonetheless it tastes good on your tongue. on his too, when he kisses you after shooting a load in your mouth
𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎
code: length: #e8cca9 , tip: #b59267
chooo choo mfs. i am about to go off. dw i won't slander him, he has already suffered enough. #justicefornanami but anyways back with my girthy cock agenda. now listen. he is not long. i mean he has an average size but the girth??? sheesh! that makes up for it. his length has to be like 5.8 or max to max 6 though gotta love that 4 inches girth, big fat meat, exceeeding half the size of his length. now if you don't understand this concept in numericals, let me indulge you in a scenario that might help. imagine him coming home frustrated from work and all he needs is a warm shower. but there you are all slutty in your outfit and all he wants to do is blow your back out. so he gets hard...like really hard. and it's so painful for his cock to stay put under all those layers of cloth that if he doesn't free it, it will tear it's fat way out. so when he finally decides to unbuckle the belt, pull his undies down with the waistband, his cock jumps out and slaps against his shaved pelvis. so loud that you can hear it over the noise of the tv. now you get it? no? okay hear this one. when he wears an underwear coming fresh out of the shower, his dick takes up about the area similar to a size of a bowl. about his tip, he has a fat tip bruh. not too fat because the base is much thick but yeah. now time for the taste, mixture of citrusy and salty. like when he cums in your tongue it has that salty flavor but the after taste is sweeter and falls more of the citrusy side. maybe like a tangerine. wow i really went off. apologies everyone.
𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀
code: base: #805149 , length: #f5d7c6 , tip: #edc8bb
i am in my monsterfucking era so this is gonna be monster kuna. so we all know four arms, two dicks yada yada yada but did you know sukuna has a special ability?? like we all know he can summon his mouth anywhere but did you know he can summon his dick too? anywhere on his body. he does this thing where if you act too bratty, he'd throw his palm your mouth and you'd think he's just blocking your voice but this mf pops out a whole ass 8 inch monster cock in your mouth that has you gagging and choking, eyes rolling back. *728 dead. 263 injured* there's no size for kuna since he can adjust the size but if we're talking tones, the base of his cocks (wow. plural. would you look at that) have reddish undertone. like tomato red but the actual dickbod has like peachy pink color. his cockhead is long and kinda blends into the length. his cum tastes bitter and sour. not repellent but the taste is still strong. don't underestimate this man though. he'll rip your holes apart yet have you begging him for more. that's what simply is the power of the king of curses. he has you compelled. but i gotta give it to sukuna fuckers. y'all have some of the strongest pussy/ass.
𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎
code: length: #f2e7c4 , tip: #d6b596
chosito's cock represents a shampoo bottle. now you might ask which one. the retail shampoo bottle that you use as your mic in the shower. he has a pretty and perfect dick. his girth is thick enough for you to wrap your fingers around you and his length enough to fill you up. whenever you stroke his cock, you can't stop looking at it. it just fits right. like it was made for you. so perfect. his size falls under 5.6 to 5.9 inches and the girth is 2.5 inches, so it's like a good ratio. he has an olive undertone and a darker mushroom tip. his pubes aren't trimmed but he keeps them extra clean. you know it because whenever you give him a blowjob and you take him all the way in, there is a floral smell lingering around the area. he doesn't naturally sweat a lot plus he has a very bouncy skin with slightly soft texture so his cock is always pleasant to suck. choso also has very visible veins. and when i mean very...i mean very. like i mentioned his skin has a soft texture so the skin on his length is flimsy and kinda see through. so when you are settled between his legs, stroking him, your eyes are so indulged in watching the blood rush through them and when he cums, his veins start slightly moving and his balls tightens. Oh! Balls. can i say it?? okay i'll say it. Breeder balls. i told you he has a 5.6 inch cock, y'all would have been disappointed. but see the creator of this universe took a few mass off his dick only for it to be filled in them breeder balls. which is why, he cums a lot. when he shoots a load, he almost gives you a facial. his cum is sweet with a metallic taste. but hey! it's a pleasure to swallow his cum. but you know why i compared his cock to a shampoo bottle? it because when he is so horny and hard and you give his base a few big squeezes, he'll spurt out a thick load of cum like your shampoo.
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Tags: @bluberrimuffintop @anxious-chick @yuujispinkhair @osamwah @arisaturn @multistan-247 @sensitive-neuvi-enthusiast @mrskokushibo @desi-the-blue-eyed-kakushi @crescentmoontsuki @dianagracesworld @ariachaos @pu-re-love @trueformsukuna @loyal-to-my-dilf @baizzhu @w0nderbeluga @splatmastr   @vuggevise @makisslut @moonish-en @lufemia @jeanboyjean @marshadowstea @frustrated-kitten @katsukichu @sir-kuroo @aleks-chan @dreadsuitsamus @justiceforquentin @kitashousewife @jiaspoon @sintiva @dawn-bunni @mostlyhornyandsad @dilfslayer3000 @shadowy--night @palebananafury @shutyourwhoremouthbecky @figlia-della-luna @marenalee @aoitoge @lahniu @kayjayxx @seraphinaivy @megumistoehair
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tenderlygrazing · 6 months
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whenever i have a crush they are ALWAYS like without fail into someone else that i find out about later its so depressing
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namchyoon · 9 months
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downloaded 50gb today and don't have the energy to make a single gif 😭😭😭
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