#but what about responsibility ?? for your kids ? ''but im so nice. what more do you want from me you ask for so much :('' TO BE RESPONSIBLE | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

doobean · 5 months

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AN EASY A - NAGI SEISHIRO

synopsis: There's a problem student in your class and he just can't seem to understand that he needs to put in the effort. You've already given him three chances to make up his assignments - all of which he ignored. But what happens when he suggests another alternative during office hours?

contents: explicit content, afab!fem!reader, age gap (he's 22 and reader is 27), student-teacher (duh), reader kind of a tough professor lol, also a bully too ig, sex in teacher's office, masturbation (reader), power imbalance, nonconsensual video recording, vaginal sex, unprotected, creampie, breast/nipple play, dom?reader, switch!nagi, cunninglingus, cumming on face and inside, degradation, name calling (brat x 2, good boy x 1), nagi having a big dick, happy ending :) word count: 3.7K a/n: part 3 of my kinktober event :3 SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG LIFE TOOK OVER BUT I HOPE THIS MAKES UP FOR THE LOST TIME ;; I WILL MAKE THE LAST KINKTOBER FIC EXTRA SPICY TOO DONT WORRY FAM - also im super proud of myself for literally scraping the draft and rewrote this within a span of two days?? like wow the pressure is on.

There are some habits that never seem to change — even with age. You’ve seen it all, experienced it too, from emailing your teachers last minute about having to make up an exam worth over half of your course grade to faking a family death in order to get an extension, or — and this is more for students who are a bit too ‘brave’ — blaming the teachers for their inability to do their jobs. You knew what you would be getting into when you went into this job, from having to do the last minute panic pleas to now being on the receiving end of it. And you now actually feel sorry for having to bombard your past professors like that.

You release a deep breath from your nose and flick the red gel pen across a student’s exam, circling the large failing number by their name. “I’ll see you next year.” You try to sound less harsh, more on the sympathetic side, since you’re relatively still within the same age group as some of these students, but who wants to hear that? That they have to repeat a course and be stuck a graduation year behind? Absolutely no one.

You want to look away as you hand the student back his exam scores because you just know it’s going to end with tears and meaningless pleas but that would be unprofessional on your end. Instead, you give the student a small smile and a couple of pieces of candy from the glass bowl next to you.

“Sorry if it’s not much but it’s better than nothing?” God, you need to work on your pep talk. These students are basically adults, not elementary school kids.

“A-Are you sure I can’t do anything else to boost my grade?” The student starts to whimper and you have to tense your whole body from cringing at their quivering voice.

Ugh, it’s useless. Why bother begging if they haven’t bothered to study the material?

Still, you manage to whip up an emphatic frown and shake your head, voice sounding more motherly. “I’m sure it’ll be easier for you to understand next time.”

Another whine and then a final huff before the student storms out of your office. By the time the door shuts and their wails are out of ear shot, you slump back into your chair and groan loudly into your palms. Your body aches from being at your desk all day long — your mind is doing no better, having to deal with students’ cries and unwarranted trauma dumping. Seriously, when are they going to pay teachers more to deal with this type of stuff?

On the bright side of things, your office hours are officially over. Final grades will be up by tonight and you’ve completed most of your tasks with all but one student being a constant no show for the eternity of the semester but that responsibility doesn’t fall onto you. He and the handful of others can just show up again next year.

You spend some time debating your options, eating a nice, warm bowl of noodles sounds good for now but… you did spend nearly eight hours cooped up in your office and you are feeling a bit high energy right now, so stress relieving might be a good answer first.

“Now, where did I put that thing?” You reach down your desk, pulling up your purse and rummage through it looking for a very specific purple ‘massager’.

It’s super rare for you to ‘release’ stress while on campus grounds, this might be one of the few times, with others following the same patterns, but you feel the utter need to reward yourself after today’s events. It’ll only take you maybe ten minutes max, afterwards it’s dinner and then a quiet train ride home. Plus, not like you have a partner who can do this for you — you barely have time to take care of yourself, let alone be in a relationship or commit yourself to a random hook up. Sometimes, it’s just better to handle the situation yourself since it is your body.

A breathy sigh leaves your lips as you place the vibrating head against the soft cotton fabric of your panties, already soaked through by just the thought of de-stressing yourself. You throw your head back, with one hand steady with the magic wand and the other traveling up to your blouse, unbuttoning the top and allowing your black bra to be exposed in the room. As you increase the pressure from the vibrations, your free hand spills your breasts from its cups, your thumbs and digits immediately running over the sensitive nubs and plush flesh of your chest as you start to chase your high.

“M-Mhm—! Right there…” You roll your head to the side and shut your eyes, imagination fleeting to the thoughts of a male seated in between your legs, his tongue desperate and latching to your overwhelmed clit and folds while your thighs keep his shoulders in place.

You think it’s so unfair that your other friends have already settled down with partners of their own. When holidays come around the corner, when you finally catch a break from all the whining and fake wolf cries, you just have to hear your friends gush about how romantic their partners are to them. You secretly hate winter because of it. All those talks about Christmas gifts, their New Year’s couples resolutions, their stupid fancy ski trips that cost close to thousands of dollars, and then top it off for Valentine’s Day. Summer is more bearable, only because of the lack of romantic holidays, but you still get bitter from seeing their beach photos and international trips.

You change the position of your magic wand, facing it closer and pressing it harder down your clit, nearly drawing blood from your lips as you suppress back a frantic moan — a moan that’s a mix of both pleasure and frustration.

Fuck the students. Fuck your friends. And fuck this job.

“H-Haah—! Oh my god…” Your hips buckle feverishly, body quaking in your seat as you start to feel a familiar coil tightening in your stomach and a rush down below. A build up of tears start pooling at the corners of your eyes as your vision starts to grow hazy. Your heart heaves forward, about to burst out of your chest, the imaginary man just about to finish you off—

Creak.

Your eyes immediately pop open and the color drains from your face at the squealing sound from the door. You don’t have enough time to cover yourself up when you realize that a student is standing by the entrance, wearing an equally shocked expression on his face. A tousle of white shaggy hair, large gray eyes, appearing at a staggering height with—your gaze trail to his hands and nearly faint from the sight—his phone.

The sound of the door creaking again snaps you out of the phase and your arms fly over your chest, the words stuck in your throat and your vibrator falling to the floor.

Shit, what should you ask first? Has he been recording you this whole time? When did he even show up? You’re positive that you were the only one left in the academic building, so what is going on?

“Um,” The male has the audacity to walk in the room, his gaze fixated on everything but you. “Are office hours still open?”

What. The. Fuck.

You blink once, twice, and, when the student is still standing there, confirming your thoughts that he isn’t an awful mirage sent down by the Lord himself, you feel yourself internally shrinking.

“I-Is that the first thing you want to ask me?” You stifle back a laugh, or at least you think it’s a laugh. Maybe even a few waterworks for later. “Just who are you?”

But then it hits you. The black and blue duffle bag he has by his side had his name engraved on it. You don’t need to take a closer to recognize the national team’s logo and you certainly don’t need a Google search to realize that Nagi fucking Seishiro, a soccer prodigy and your apparent student for the semester, might’ve just recorded you masturbating in your office.

You manage to find an old jacket from one of the drawers at your desk and throw it on before pointing a harsh finger at the man. “Delete it, now.”

“Will I get an A?” Nagi is surprisingly blunt and, now looking back, this might honestly be the first time you’ve ever talked to him out of the whole semester. He seems to catch your perplexed look, shooting you a pair of creased brows back as he explains, “All of my other courses were remote because of training and football games… You were the only professor that denied it.”

You huff, seemingly annoyed that he thinks he can be an exception to your course rules. “I don’t hand out favoritism to just anyone and,” You glare at the phone in his hand, sneering right back at his uncaring facial expression. “I’m definitely not going to pass you if you’re threatening to black mail me.”

“Maybe we can help each other out?” Nagi offers, maybe a bit too fast and too eager.

You cautiously sink back in your seat, eyes narrowing at his suggestion. “What are you implying, Nagi?” The male shuffles awkwardly in place and your gaze flicks down, eyes widening for the nth time today and an audible gasp slips out. “You can’t be serious.”

“I need to pass and you—” Nagi clears his throat and motions to your slick covered vibrator, which is still very much on and buzzing away on the wooden floor boards near his feet. “You didn’t finish.” He rakes his fingers through his hair and adjusts the semi-hard length through his sweats with his other before finishing his offer. “I’ll delete the video, help you, and you’ll give me an A?” Nagi lamely suggests.

You want to scream, dig yourself a ditch large enough to fit you and the rest of however much pride you had left, and wither away. You’ve had students coming to you with plenty of other excuses, much more tamed than whatever situation you’ve found yourself in. And, regardless how much shitty this actually is, it doesn’t get rid of the fact that: one — you’re still sexually frustrated from having your orgasm ruined by this oversized, lazy fucker, two — you literally just got this job a year ago and getting fired for masturbating on campus might not look so great on your record, and three — if Nagi is true to his words, maybe you both can just forget about it the next day.

“You don’t get the control, I do.” You rise from your seat, allowing the jacket to fall from your frame. Your gaze hardens on the male subject in front of you as you bend down to reach for your toy, turning it off and putting it away in a nearby drawer that’s most likely filled with other student’s graded assignments.

Whatever, they’ll probably cry more fluids on it when they get their results back anyway.

Nagi tenses when you reach over to touch his arms, feeling up his toned biceps and rest of his upper body underneath the black hoodie, and he doesn’t dare to move unless you tell him to. You let out a scoff, feeling satisfied that he’s already willing to compromise so quickly under short notice. With a light tug on his sleeve, you drag him closer to your desk and settle yourself on top of it. You hike up your pencil skirt to your upper thighs and spread your legs wide enough for the width of his shoulders.

“On your knees, brat.”

He silently obliges, bending down on one knee and his hands find home on your inner thighs. You resist the urge to squirm under his touch, still feeling rather sensitive from your earlier chase and not wanting to give him any ounce of satisfaction. Without any audible exchanges, he allows you to direct his head closer to the heat of your sex, the combination of your increasing wetness and the hot puffs from his breath makes your stomach twist in anticipation.

With a quick swipe, his fingers brush aside your panties to the crease of your thighs and lean in, giving a few experimental licks to your slicked cover folds before burying the rest of his face in. Your reaction is instant. Your fingers claw their way deep into his shoulder blades, thighs threatening to squeeze the living life out of him, but Nagi’s grip is even more threatening. He stays rigid, palms glued to your thighs and keeping them in place as his tongue flicks against the stiff nub — drawing lazy circles.

Your mouth betrays your character as he suddenly decides to insert two digits, scissoring their way into your velvety walls. Nagi grunts in response at just how lewd you sound right now.

“Soaking wet…” He observes with careful eyes at your sex before looking up, a playful smirk flashes across his face when he notices the flush in your cheeks. With another twirl from his fingers, combined with the slow swirls from his tongue, your head rolls back as the torrent seems to be relentless.

With the next extra pumps, you cum hard with a shudder, vicing your thighs against his head. You can feel the leak of fluids slide out of your folds, and Nagi pushes his face inward, making sure he slid his tongue against that sweet spot of yours again. It blinds you with a final surge of pleasure, and you cry out as your orgasm shakes you to the core, nails biting into his shoulders.

You’ve never experienced an orgasm that intense before, even with the usage of your vibrator — hell, you can’t even remember when’s the last time a man has made you reach that high. Bright colors cloud your vision as you tumble through what seems like an endless bliss. Your body goes slack, back now flushed against the office desk, but Nagi’s body is still tense, his muscles twitching as he gets to his feet and lifts your legs off his shoulders.

“Hey,” Nagi slurs, wiping away your slick with the back of his hand. “We’re not done here.”

“W-What are you talking about—ah!”

Your vision is just beginning to clear up when you find yourself trapped between Nagi’s arms. He’s hovering above you, a certain dark look casts over his gray hues as he bores into your own. You swallow hard, heart beating faster when you look down to see his sweats already laid around his thighs and his cock springs free, head spilling with heavy amounts of pre. Nagi’s length twitches at the sounds of your moans and the male takes that as a sign of approval.

“What?” He leans forward, his bangs brushing against your forehead. “You’ve never seen a penis before?”

“Don’t get smart with me, brat.” You spit back, immediately tearing your gaze away from his rather impressive size. Might be the biggest you’ve ever seen in person outside from those awful porn videos online.

If you can find the energy to, you might’ve laughed at his lame attempt to have the upper hand, but Nagi doesn’t waste his time. He closes the distance, smashing his lips against yours, tongue already dragging its way down your throat. You choke back but recover quickly, hands flying to his locks, grabbing fistfuls, and rocking your hips against his hardened appendage. A sinful groan slips from his lips and lifts one of your thighs up, your ankle resting on his shoulder while he wraps the other around his waist.

You part your lips when he breaks away from the kiss, a thin trail of saliva connecting you two, and a whine spills from you as Nagi begins sliding his cock in between your folds. He sucks in his teeth, breath hitching sharply at the sight.

“Wanna put it in so bad—” He shudders seeing your slick engulfing his length. “Can I—Can I please put it in?” His monotone voice now replaced with a shaky resolve, almost as if he’s seeking for your next stage of approval and pleasure.

You reach up and cup his cheeks in your hands, eyes softening at his glassy ones. “Promise to delete that video and you might get a chance, Nagi.”

“Sei,” The male breathes out.

You tilt your head. “Huh?”

Nagi leans into your touch, nuzzling his cheeks into your palms. “Want you to call me Sei… Can you do that?”

“Sei…” You whisper out, suppressing back a laugh when you see the towering male tensing at the sound of his name. The twitching from his cock brushes against your clit making you squirm. “Sei, make me cum around that cock of yours.”

A cry escapes from the both of you when he slides in, inching bit by bit and holding your waist with both hands as leverage. You can’t do anything but throw your head back, sounds leaving your hoarse throat at the sheer size from him. Your hands can only reach his thighs, nails leaving their crescent marks on his skin as Nagi bottoms out inside of you with a long, agonizing stroke. Nagi takes his time, building a slow but steady rhythm, staring down at you with intense gray eyes and making sure the thickness of his cock stretches your walls as he continues. You suddenly feel grateful that you came earlier, the extra slick and foreplay made the insertion easier because you’re certain without it there’s no guarantee that you would’ve been able to handle this mind numbing fucking.

After a few more experimental strokes, Nagi finds a comfortable pace. You’re now starting to get used to him and it feels so, so good that you’re finding everything in your power to spread your legs as far open as they would go. Sensing your struggle, Nagi lifts one hand to push your thigh back even further, and you let out a yelp, whining when you feel him brushing against that sweet spot inside of you again.

A warm rushing sensation starts building in your stomach again and you feel as if you’re about to jump off a cliff. Your walls clamp down around his cock, wails starting to bounce off the walls and legs shaking without any means of control. You’re absolutely floored by the way Nagi’s able to make your body react this much under his touch. It’s only your first time having sex, yet it feels like he’d been making love with you for a lifetime.

Your eyes fly shut as the feeling of his callous thumbs make their way onto your swollen clit, rubbing and tapping away. Flames are riding your nerves, you can’t hold back any sort of resistance in your voice as he picks up the pace, hips slamming into yours and sounds of sex filling the air. Nagi moves swiftly and punishingly, holding your hips still and not allowing you any room to move around as his cock tears against that spot that had tears finally spilling down your flushed face.

“Sei,” You choke out a sob, throwing a hand over your mouth to try and suppress some of the noise. Though, you and him both know it’s a futile effort.

The build up of pleasure is so binding that you’re beginning to lose sense of time and place, feeling only the desperate and feral thrusts from your student. Your second orgasm fades slowly, leaving you in a pool of ecstasy, but that doesn’t stop Nagi.

Still hard and pumping, his grip on your hips only tighten and he grunts out a lustful moan. “Feels good, right? Cumming all over me?”

You look up to him, tears of pleasure disorienting your vision, and in a state where you’re too incoherent to speak — pleading only with your doe eyes.

Nagi understood immediately. He slows down his pace, leaning forward, making sure the head of his cock kisses the inside of your cervix before bending down to place one on your own gaping lips.

“Such a good boy, aren’t you?” You manage out.

He groans at the pet name and peppers your face and neck with wet kisses, lifting your leg with one hand so that he can slowly stroke back and forth inside.

One of your hands reaches for your chest, fondling and toying with your nipples while your other hand reaches for the back of his head, gripping his white locks and pulling him down for another feverish kiss. Your lips remain sealed and pressed together in a battle of tongues as he rocks inside of you, sending you yet another orgasm as he moans into your mouth.

“H-Haah—I’m close…” His hips buck wildly. “Gonna cum inside of this pretty pussy…”

Nagi finally comes undone inside of you, his whole body shuddering as coats of white paint the insides of your velvety walls. A heavy pant from him catches your ears as he pulls out slowly, eyes admiring the hot, white trail that travels down your thighs and onto your desk.

By now, you can barely keep your eyes open, both mind and body exhausted. You try to get up, only to find zero strength left in your limbs, but soon you feel a pair of toned biceps around your waist and Nagi pulls you into his firm, yet comforting chest.

You want to ask him something again, something regarding that video he took of you earlier, but you’re beginning to lose your train of thought as exhaustion creeps up. Your entire body aches and your pussy is still emptying his remaining orgasm. But, strangely enough, you find yourself not caring about it anymore.

A smile makes its way onto your features as you drift off to sleep, making you miss the fact that Nagi did delete the video shortly after and scribble a quick note next to your purse. It’ll be another hour before you have the chance to read it.

‘Don’t forget that A. XXX-XXX-0506 - Sei.’

KINKTOBER TAGLIST (PART III)

@milkistoshi @mareonyan @saenora @blissblossom @wowonamo

#doobean:kinktober23 #cw: power imbalance #cw: video recording #cw: age gap #bllk #blue lock #bllk smut #bllk x reader #nagi x reader #blue lock x reader #nagi seishiro #nagi seishiro smut #nagi seishiro x reader #blue lock x female reader #bllk x female reader #doobean writes

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underoossss · 2 years

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babe, baby, beautiful – s.h

pairing: steve harrington x reader

warnings: language, miscommunications, idiots (pining) to idiots (lovers)

an: lets do this again shall we? this wasn’t showing up in the tags, so i deleted and reposted it today im sorry (i also changed the title from ive meant it all to this). So mamma mia here we go again. Have some wholesome hurt/comfort best friends to lovers to brighten your day/night. I love pining idiots and love confessions so here you are!

Masterlist

✫✫✫✫

The bell over the deli’s front door rings at 1pm, and after a glance at the car parked outside, you know exactly who it is. Steve on his lunch break ––or just any break if you’re being honest–– coming to visit you like he always does. You giggle at the idea that pops into your mind, hoping your best friend is distracted enough for it to work.

“Hey, that’s a nice updog you got there.” You say when Steve comes into the store, using your most casual and nonchalant tone. Though you try not to stare, you can’t help yourself when you look him over briefly. He’s wearing that pair of light washed jeans you don’t let yourself think about, and a light blue polo with a t-shirt underneath. His hair––like always––is perfectly styled, some of it falling over the right side of his forehead. With a shake of your head, you clear your thoughts, focusing instead on Steve’s response.

“What’s u—” Steve starts to say then pauses and rolls his eyes, pointing one finger at you. “No! I’m not falling for it this time.”

“Hah! but you almost did!” You say between laughs; vowing to catch him unaware some other time. “I’ll get you to slip, eventually.”

“You can try babe, but you’ll fail.” He says with confidence then smiles at you; his eyes explore your face for a moment before he spots the book on the counter. “Slow morning today?”

“A bit, yeah. But I don’t mind.” You shrug and bookmark your very-much-loved copy of Persuasion. “How’s FV today?”

Steve looks over the many knick-knacks displayed on the counter as he speaks. “Packed. We got some new movies today, so it’s been busy.”

“‘Your kids’ visit you yet?” You ask while you put your book away. “They were here at noon, those little gremlins.”

Steve chuckles, “No surprise there, they like hanging out here more than at the store with me, now.”

“There’s no food at your place, Stevie. But in here…” You gesture at your surroundings with your hand. “I’ll get in trouble for feeding them eventually.”

“How many today?” Steve asks you, he smiles fondly, knowing the angsty teenagers you call your friends can win you over easily.

“3 Subs.” Your voice is a whisper when you answer Steve’s question. “I told them that if I’m found out I’ll tell my boss they stole them. Let them deal with the police.”

You chuckle, knowing you’re only bluffing. With everything that has happened to the kids in this town, you’re sure you’ll try to protect them as much as you can. From the look that Steve gives you ––amused? Fond? –– you know he can tell you’re not serious either.

“Dustin’s going to fix my radio too.” You tell Steve. “It keeps making my cassettes sound funny.”

“Well.” Steve shrugs, faking seriousness. “I’ll back you up with the police if you need; get you out of any trouble.”

You hum and raise a questioning eyebrow. “And how exactly are you gonna do that?”

“I’ll convince them, naturally. I can be very charming.” He says, and you can’t help the laugh that leaves you.

“Of course, you will, Stevie.” You smile, leaning your forearms on the counter once more. Your eyes scan his brown ones and take in the playfulness that lies there; it makes your smile grow.

“I don’t think you believe me, babe.” He shakes his head, mock hurt.

“I do! The Harrington charm works every time.” You say seriously, until you giggle once more. It does work though, you’re very much charmed by him. You fell in love with him after all. Steve rolls his eyes at you with fondness, and your stomach flips. Clearing your throat, you speak again. “We’re still on for tonight right, the group dinner?”

“Yeah, you wanted to try that new burger place at the mall.” Steve nods then scratches the back of his neck. “Eight, right?” His eyes look at yours for confirmation.

“Yup.” You smile, moving one of your arms so you can rest your chin on your palm. You can’t keep the joy out of your tone when you speak again. It had been a week since you last saw all your friends together ––no counting any short visits–– and since you had been able to hang out with Steve for longer than your lunch breaks. “I’m excited.”

“Yeah?” Steve asks you, smiling back like he is thinking the same thing ––he complained briefly last week that choosing to work overtime would keep you from enjoying summer weekends. His forearm settles on the counter, close to your hand as he pushes his weight on it and looks at you. His eyes grow fond and suddenly it’s like they capture yours in a trance. Cedar brown irises shine beautifully as he smiles; you can see the flecks of golden brown in them, a tiny detail that only appears with the right light. You feel your fingers flutter where they rest near Steve’s arm, itching to hold his hand and let it cover yours, but you can’t.

That would make things weird, right?

You nod your head at his question, mentally reminding yourself not to let your heart out on your sleeve, but your brain seems to be asleep. Steve’s eyes, which haven’t left your face and only seem to grow more intense, shift to your lips—pupils dilating and eclipsing the beautiful brown you were observing. When did his face come so close to yours? Steve’s cheeks blush a second later and your face like it’s on fire. It takes all in you to keep from breathing in sharply at the thought that pops up in your mind. Does he… is he thinking about kissing you? No, that’s you projecting onto him. But then his fingers move, like they have the same impulse as yours, and brush your arm gently, almost imperceptibly; it sends a jolt through your body.

You’re giving yourself away! Your mind yells at the same time your heart argues He might like you, he’s acting differently.

You jump, from the electric and burning touch as well as the store’s bell sudden ringing. A new customer steps into the store, disintegrating any moment, however unusual, that happened between you. You clear your suddenly dry throat and dart your eyes from the customer to Steve.

“I should—” You motion to the expecting client and Steve nods. Your face is still burning, and you bite your lip anxiously while your mind races over what could have happened had the client not arrived.

Steve runs a hand through his hair, and your eyes follow the movement, staring involuntarily at the way his arm flexes. His eyebrows furrow as if deep in thought, he looks at you briefly then. “Yeah, of course babe. I’ll leave you to it. I’ll um… see you.”

“Sure, Stevie. See you tonight.” You hope he doesn’t hear the disappointment in your voice, the way you wish he didn’t have to go back to work.

With that, Steve goes out the door and to his car once more. You watch as he reverses back into the main road and disappears. After a shake of your head to clear your head, you address the new customer, take his order, and set to helping him checkout. But even as you work your mind spins in incessant circles of wistful thinking. Steve looked at you differently, his eyes had shone with different emotions, too many to identify correctly. He looked at your lips and blushed when you’d noticed. Is it possible that… no, of course not. There’s no way he could be into you. You were his best friend, nothing more. But then again so was he, and you’d fallen for him anyways. Is it possible that he reciprocates your feelings?

✫✫✫✫

Later that day, you pull into the mall’s parking lot past 7:30pm. Robin sits on the passenger seat of your car, her combat boots up on the dashboard. She asked you for a ride earlier, and since your houses are very close by, you happily agreed. The two of you remove your seatbelts, and slide out of the car, locking the doors behind you. The summer night is humid, and you feel almost suffocated in the button-down shirt that covers your shoulders and arms. But the mall would be blasting cold air though, the AC turned up to the max, so there was really no way you’d only be wearing the pale-yellow tank top you have underneath your shirt. You check your pockets for your keys and the cash you brought with you, an unshakable habit ever since you got locked out of your car that one time during the winter. Robin talks while she walks next to you, her mind going over the possibility of a vegetarian option at the restaurant.

“I know it’s a burger place, but veggie burgers exist! And I know I will be that person who asks for the vegetarian option but… I don’t do it to shame you guys! I just don’t think the world needs the extra cruelty towards the cow where my burger would’ve come from. Or the water depletion! I just hope it’s actually like 100% veggie burger, and not some mixture of veggies and meat.” She goes on, about some frozen veggie burgers she got at the supermarket once, that were not all veggies.

You chuckle and bump your shoulder against hers. “I’ll make sure to ask them if it’s all veggie.”

“And make sure they show you the packaging, they can lie to us!” Robin insists and it makes you laugh as you approach the mall’s entrance.

Eddie Munson is waiting by the main door when he spots you. “What’s Buckley saying that’s got you laughing, sweetums.” He asks when he reaches the two of you.

“Hi Eds.” You say, smiling once your laughter fades. You accept the hug he gives you and Robin does as well.

“She’s delighted by all my trust issues, Munson.” Robin says and shakes her head before she looks at you, “Isn’t that right?”

“Of course not.” You shake your head. “I’m just imagining the waiter’s face when you ask for a veggie burger.”

Robin chuckles, a playful smile on her face. “You’re right.”

“Shall we, ladies?” Eddie motions towards the door. “Don’t know about you, but I’m ready for some of that freezing A/C inside.”

“I swear these temperature changes are going to get us sick one of these days.” You shake your head but walk along with your friends. “Did Steve say what time he’ll get here? I told him eight o’clock but—”

“Aw, that’s cute.” Robin says with a teasing tone. “You’re trying to sound nonchalant.”

You raise your chin higher, “I’m always nonchalant.”

“Keep dreaming. When it comes to Steve you never are.” Robin scoffs, but not meanly, she just likes to tease you about your feelings for him and how inconvenient they are as he is your best friend.

“Cut her some slack, Buckley. That’s how young love is.” Eddie says, but he’s chuckling too.

“Come on, Baskin Robins, don’t gang up on me with Eddie,” You decide to tease her right back, with an annoying nickname at least. “I asked a genuine question.”

“Dunno.” Robin says, “He didn’t tell me when he dropped me off after work.”

“I thought Harrington would be with you guys.” Eddie mentions as the three of you step on the escalators. You take one step and Robin shares one with Eddie. The two of them stand behind you, so you turn sideways to address them.

“I haven’t talked to him since this morning.” You say, shrugging even as your stomach flips at the unusual interaction you’d had with him. You picture it in your mind; the two of you leaning against the deli’s counter, him in front of you. He’d stood closer than before, his face close to yours while you chuckled. He’d looked into your eyes, then moved his gaze to your lips. Your heart had hammered against your chest so loudly you wondered if Steve heard it.

“It’s almost eight, so he should be here soon.” Robin proposes with a shrug.

“Yeah.” You nod, then look at Eddie with a smile. “How was Hellfire today?”

“Same as usual.” Eddie tells you. “We have a killer campaign next week.” He goes on to tell you about it, and you listen to him even while you turn briefly to step off the escalators. He’s mentioning something Mike and Dustin had come up with at a club meeting and how he’d let them plan the next campaign.

You were about to tell him how the kids were growing on him but the scene in front of you makes you pause. There, on the other side of the second floor is Steve, but he isn’t alone. There’s a girl next to him, holding his arm as they walk in the direction to the restaurant. You can only see her profile, while she looks at him, and she is beautiful. Her blonde hair bounces perfectly with each step she takes, and the pink lipstick she’s wearing suits her complexion perfectly. They way she looks at him is all too familiar as well, it’s a way you’ve looked at him on many occasions ––and a look you’ve worked hard to conceal from him. But where the girl looks at him like he’s too attractive to be real ––he is–– you look at him like he’s your favourite person to ever exist, like there’s no one you will love like you love him.

You stop dead on your tracks, looking away from Steve’s walking form. Your eyes look around to try and find somewhere to hide. A second later you see a thick pillar to your right and you make a beeline towards it —it’s embarrassing really, how you have to hide, but you don’t to want be spotted. Not when your insides feel like they’re collapsing on themselves. But the way you looked at me this morning, you wonder to yourself, did I imagine it? Of course, you did; you’ve known all along Steve can’t and will never be yours. The only one who wasn’t in on the secret was your heart.

Your friends are quick to follow you, crouching next to you in your hiding place. Their gaze follows yours and you can see out of your periphery that they share a concerned look. Steve looks so handsome as always, in that white t-shirt and burgundy vest; his hair is perfect, the grin on his face is lovely. All of it makes your heart ache, even more so when you look at the girl by his side again. His probable date, the one he chose. I wish you were mine instead, you think. I wish… I only saw you as a friend.

You try to speak and open your mouth to, once, twice, but no sound comes out. The only sound you do hear though, is that of your heart as it breaks. You knew this day would come, you’ve tried to prepare for it, so how is it that you’re not ready? Squeezing your eyes shut, you try to control the way your lip trembles and your hand begins to shake. Nausea bubbles in your stomach and you feel an ache within your chest, though you don’t know how —it’s suddenly hollow and devastated. You swallow hard and manage to find your voice. “I need to leave. Y–you guys should go get burgers anyway —let me know how they are.”

Robin and Eddie start to say your name, but you shake your head, wiping at your eyes before your tears fall. “Look at that, the allergies are acting up. Eddie you can give robin a ride home, right?”

Eddie nods, but his eyes are full of concern. He brings his hand to your shoulder and keeps his voice soft when he speaks. “Yeah, buttercup; but we don’t have to stay, we can go with you.”

Robin nods earnestly, struggling to keep her voice down. She starts rambling, insisting on coming with you. “You’re not okay, come on let’s get you home. We don’t need the burgers; we’ll all make excuses. You don’t have to be alone right now, I-I honestly didn’t know he would….”

“No, please guys, I’m okay.” You try to reassure them, the need to flee the mall growing with each minute. The sting of unshed tears becomes more intense. “Tell Steve I ate a bad sandwich at work and got sick. Or anything! I just can’t be here right now. I’m sorry.”

You offer them a poor excuse for a smile before you turn around to leave the mall. After making sure Steve went the opposite way from the front door, you walk to the escalators again, descending them like you would a normal staircase ––there’s no time to way for it to take you to the main floor, you need to leave. It feels like you’re on autopilot from then on, you walk to your car and drive home in silence. Your hands grip the steering wheel tightly while your heart continues to pound in your chest, this time completely differently than it had in the morning. The autopilot you were in shuts down once you park in your driveway, and at once the numbness ends as your resolve to be strong crumbles. Your feelings overflow, they burst from the tiny box you squeezed them into a long time ago, and it’s a matter of seconds for the tears to follow. Once the first one falls, the rest don’t hold back, and just like that you find yourself crying in your car. Your head falls to the steering wheel and your shoulders shake with a sob when the memory from earlier floods your mind again.

You see the two of them and how good they looked together; how happy she was. Would Steve kiss her goodnight? Would she get to feel his touch as they kissed? It all hurts you even more, yet the only one to blame for being in this mess is you. How could you think you had a chance. You’re Steve’s best friend, just that, and you will remain that indefinitely. It hadn’t bothered you before, until a couple years ago romantic feelings bloomed and grew each time you fell more in love with him. Why did you have to fall in love? Why didn’t you ignore your feelings back then to save you the pain of a broken heart you’re experiencing now?

With a few deep breaths you try to compose yourself, wiping at your eyes and the tears that fell on the wheel during your pity party. You can’t stay in your car all night, so you gather your things and make your way to the front door. You discard your shoes once you’re inside and the door is locked behind you. Then, figuring that chocolate can probably trick you into feeling better, you go to the kitchen where you grab a tub of ice cream from the freezer and a spoon.

You sit on the floor, your back to the fridge as you scoop a spoonful of chocolate ice cream and eat it absentmindedly. You feel tired and jealous, but also angry and hollow. This was going to happen, you remind yourself ––no daydreaming or wistful thinking was going to change the outcome. Steve was never going to choose you, romantically anyways. How are you going to face him again, hear him talk about his date and pretend that you’re happy when you know you’re not. When you know that it’s killing you that you’re not and will never be his.

Even the decadent chocolate flavour turns bitter after a few spoonfuls, your thoughts stripping it off its comforting sweetness. With a sigh, you stand up and drop the spoon on the sink then put the ice cream back in the freezer, determined to go upstairs and shower; you’ll cry yourself to sleep soon after. Yes, that’s a good plan. You empty your pockets and leave everything on your dresser —your keys, and the money you didn’t use. In the bathroom, you start the shower and let the water warm up as you undress and put a shower cap on. You don’t have the strength or willingness to wash your hair tonight, besides, the sooner you’re in bed the better. The warm water soothes you, as does the vanilla scented body wash you always use. You put all your focus on getting yourself clean, trying to leave no room in your mind to think about your feelings.

By the time you’re out of the shower and slip into your sleeping shirt and shorts, you feel proud of yourself because you hadn’t cried anymore. But the small triumph only lasts until you’re done brushing your teeth because just then the phone starts to ring downstairs. You rinse your mouth before going back downstairs and to the kitchen, thankful for your deep-sleeper parents when you see its 10:30 on the microwave’s clock.

“Hello?” You answer the phone, wondering who’s calling.

“Hey, babe.” Steve voice says on the other side of the line, and you the minute to hear his voice your non-crying streak is broken. Your throat feels tight, and your vision blurs; flashes of what you saw at the mall come back to you like an unkind reminder. You want to hang up, you have to make up any excuse because Steve can’t hear you cry.

“Hi,” You murmur as your fingers fidget with the phone’s curly cord. You tangle and untangle your finger in it, anything to calm you down.

“Robin said you’re sick, how are you feeling?”

If only you knew.

“I’m…not great,” You say, and it isn’t a lie, he just doesn’t know why. “I’m throwing up my guts.” You continue, trying to stop your voice from wavering and pressing your lips together as you take a deep breath. I’m also crying my eyes out you think, but you don’t tell him.

“Must have been a really bad sandwich,” Steve says–– you can picture him scratching his chin as he speaks, his eyebrows furrowed. “This morning you were fine. I called Henderson and he’s not sick.”

You shake your head, of all the times he chooses to be perceptive… Yeah, this morning seems like an eternity ago. When I thought you returned my feelings, but you went out on a possible date, and it broke my heart.

“I ate a different sub.” You say. “And with my luck it probably had poison in it. Maybe it was the lettuce.” You fake a chuckle, knowing the lie is sealed tight now. The kids hate veggies, that’s why you never put them in their sandwiches. If you say you put some in yours then it’s more believable that you got sick, and they didn’t.

You clear your throat, needing to spare yourself any more pain. “I… um, feel very tired though so I should go to bed.”

“Yeah,” Steve says, probably nodding his head even though you can’t see him. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea, beautiful. Drink lots of water, ok?”

Your heart tightens at the pet name ––one of many that started meaning something different to you a while ago––and his concern. In another world, one where you aren’t in love with him, you know he would be comforting you through your heartbreak. But that isn’t the world you live in. Here, you deal with it alone because silly you fell in love with your best friend.

“Yeah, thanks Stevie. Night.” You hang up and squeeze your eyes shut as you lean against the wall, letting your tears finally fall to the kitchen floor.

The sudden knock on the front door makes you look up, and you barely have time to wonder who it is when you hear Robin’s voice calling your name. “Open up! I can see the lights on!” She says from the other side.

Though you’re tired —and surprised— you make your way to the front door and open it to find Robin and Eddie standing there. They look at you with both worry and sympathy when they see your red-rimmed and puffy eyes. It’s enough to make you tear up again.

“I hate everything.” You mumble and they step inside to envelop you in a three-person hug. “What are you guys doing here?”

Robin scoffs softly, “You honestly think we wouldn’t check up on you?”

You can only shrug when they step back, that’s exactly what you thought earlier. “I guess not.”

“We didn’t want you to be alone.” Eddie says, his lips forming a frown.

“Thank you… I appreciate that.” You tell them, though you feel guilty that your currently emotional state made them come see you. “Come in, make yourselves comfortable.”

The three of you move to the living room, where you lie face down on the couch, knowing you don’t have to pretend to be okay with your friends. Eddie sits on the coffee table and Robin goes to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

“How were those burgers?” You ask though your voice is muffled by the couch. “Steve just called. Thank you for covering for me.”

“The burgers were… interesting.” Eddie says, “We were going to bring you one but Robin said you would throw it up.”

You shake your head, sitting up briefly when you hear Robin approach. “You can rip the band aid off. I just heard his voice and lied to him, so what’s some more pain?”

Robin hands you the glass of water which you accept and take a few sips from. Eddie takes the glass from you when you’re done, and you collapse on the couch again, facing the ceiling this time.

“He came to the restaurant with her, sat down with us for a bit.” Eddie begins and his leg bounces anxiously as his hands fidget, like he’s unsure he should be telling you more, “He asked about you, and got worried when we told him you got sick.”

“They didn’t stay long.” Robin says from where she now sits on the floor next to you.

“Was she, his date?” You ask, looking for some confirmation of your assumptions.

Robin nods and takes your hand in hers. “Yeah, it was a date.” She whispers.

You nod in understanding, eyes fixed on the ceiling as tears gather in your eyes. So it is confirmed then, you think dejectedly, I read too much into what happened in the morning. I fooled myself into thinking he was into me. One of your tears rolls down your cheek and hides in your hair.

“Shit, sweetums.” Eddie says, sounding upset by your current state. “Come on, don’t cry.”

You chuckle morosely, “I can’t help it, Eddie. I feel like my heart went through a paper shredder.”

“I thought Harrington was into you, buttercup, I was almost certain of it.” Eddie shakes his head; you feel his eyes still on your face. “Robin too.”

“Yeah, I never thought he’d bring a date to dinner. Considering you invited him.” Robin is shaking her head while she pulls on a thread sticking out of the carpeted floor.

“We were all wrong then.” You say, closing your eyes, “Me for believing I wouldn’t care or be affected if Steve dated someone, and you guys for thinking he saw me as anything other than a friend.”

There’s a minute of silence between the three of you as you shake your head at your own foolishness and stare at the ceiling. “He called me, just as you guys arrived. Had to hang up quickly so he wouldn’t hear me cry.”

Robin’s hand falls on your shoulder and squeezes it in comfort. You think about how you had to lie to Steve, how you didn’t even let him say good night. It makes you tear up again. “This is pathetic. Why is it affecting me so much?” You say, voice muffled as you cover your face with your hands.

“Hey, come on it’s not pathetic.” Eddie says, gently pulling your hands away from your face. “You just got a big heart, so your feelings are stronger. Nothing wrong with it.”

You turn your head to look at him, feeling guilty for needing comfort but also grateful for it. “Real good that’s done.” You chuckle without any joy, “I should’ve known better.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Robin chides, moving to sit on the couch, urging you to rest your head on her lap.

“Thank you.” You tell Robin, and then Eddie. “I’ll be okay, eventually.”

“How?” Robin asks, shaking her head at you, as she runs a hand over your head.

“I just need to sort out my feelings for Steve; put them back on the box they were in before.” You explain, trying to convince them and yourself at the same time.

“And when Harrington goes on another date?” Eddie echoes your conscience beside you which makes you turn to look at him again.

You bring your gaze back to the ceiling when you feel yourself tear up once more. Will your heart survive something like this once again? What if you see him kissing someone else. What pain will that cause?

Eddie places his hand over yours, his rings cold against your skin. “You’re crying just at the thought of it, buttercup.”

You cover your face with your hands again as the tears continue to come, falling down your cheeks in earnest. “I need to get over these feelings. I need to forget that I ever fell in love with him.” You shake your head. “I need to get away, clear my head.”

“And go where?” Eddie asks, doubt and concern lacing his tone.

“Your aunt’s” Robin says a second later and two pairs of eyes turn to look at her. “She’s always asking you to visit, you can go there.”

Robin is right, Aunt Maggie is always asking when you’ll visit her again. She has a lovely farm with a light blue painted house. It’s been a while since you last drove there and you’d be lying if you say you didn’t miss her. Two birds, one stone.

“Wheres that?” Eddie asks, his hands now playing with his hair anxiously.

“Ohio, a little out of Columbus.” You rub at your eyes, “I can drive, it’s less than 4 hours away.”

“So that’s it, you’re leaving?” Eddie looks at you like you’ve lost your mind and you shrug. Maybe you have, but there’s no denying you need to figure out how to move forward after tonight. Doing so 4 hours away from Hawkins and without having to actively ignore Steve seems like the best alternative.

“I’m off work until Wednesday next week, it works.” You tell your friends, sitting up on the couch. You look at Robin, thankful for her memory. “I’ll call Aunt Margaret in the morning.”

“I don’t want you to, but…” Robin sighs, slouching where she sits. “When do you think you’ll leave?” Though you can see she’s trying to act casual, you know she’s nervous for you; worried.

“Probably Sunday?” You run a hand over your head, “I need to pack.”

“You don’t have to leave.” Eddie is shaking his head, opposing your idea.

“Eds, I just need to be with my thoughts for a while, see what I’m going to do. Otherwise, I won’t stop hurting, and all the crying is going to dehydrate me, and I’ll end up dead.”

Or your heart will give out. Your eyes tear up again, like they’re not done crying. Not yet. “Fuck, not again.”

“I just want you to be okay. I’ve never seen you cry, sweetums. Ever. Tonight has been shocking to say the least.” Though you can’t see him, you can hear the frown Eddie has on his face as he speaks.

Robin puts her hand on your knee, patting it twice. “We just want you to smile again, for real. Like you did earlier tonight.”

“Well, I was going to eat some fries and a burger, and I thought the guy I love might like me back.” You chuckle and wipe your tears again, uselessly. “I will be okay, I feel absolutely empty right now, but I will be better. A change of scenery will help me.” You hope.

“So, Sunday?” The two of them ask you.

“Sunday.” You nod and swallow hard, deciding to give them both a smile instead of more crying.

“I hope you’re right about this.” Robin mumbles.

“Me too.” You say, hoping things will work out.

✫✫✫✫

Sunday morning eventually arrives, and you wake up early in the morning to make sure you have everything you need for the next 3 days. You pack a couple snacks and some water bottles for the road, take your car to fill up the gas tank, and pack anything else you might need. Robin arrives at 10am, Eddie at 10:15, to load your things in your car and say goodbye before you leave.

“How did Steve take it?” Robin asks you. The three of you sit on your front door’s steps, waiting for Steve to arrive. It didn’t feel right in your heart to leave without saying goodbye to him, so you called him last night.

You sigh, “He was very confused, you know how he is. He asked a bunch of questions, but I told him I’d explain today.”

“Explain, huh?” Eddie says with a chuckle next to you.

“You know what I mean, Munson.” You roll your eyes and bump his shoulder with yours. “The necessary information only.”

Just then you hear a car approach in the distance and recognize it as it comes closer to you house. Steve speeds to your driveway, barely putting his car on park before he’s sliding out of it and walking towards you. A frown pulls down at his lips, there’s a crease between his brows as he furrows them and his hair is a dishevelled from running his finger through it —it still works for him, it always does. Damn you for always looking so good Steve, you think as you see the way the blue polo he’s wearing fits him.

You stand to greet him, offering a small wave when he stops in front of you. “Hey.”

“Babe, what? You’re leaving?” Steve is shaking his head when he steps closer to you, brows still furrowed in question.

“Aunt Maggie called me, Steve, she asked me to visit.” You explain. Your hands fidget with each other in front of you. “You know she lives alone, maybe she needs some company.”

“So this time you just accepted her invitation?” Steve sounds confused, like you’re not making any sense and you know you probably aren’t, but you nod anyway.

“Yeah…”

Steve brings his hand up, close to your face and rubs the skin of your under eye softly with his thumb—his frown deepens. “You haven’t been sleeping well?”

When you can only shrug—speechless from his touch— Steve sighs. “Why are you really leaving, beautiful?”

There he goes again with the pet names, making your heart race, and confusing it at the same time. He is so caring, and worries so much you wish you could tell him the truth; that it wouldn’t make you lose him. “There are some things I need to figure out.” You say when you look at the floor then back at him. You don’t want to lie to him, so a vague truth would have to do.

“You can talk to me, you know that. You can tell me anything.” Steve says softly, his eyes pleading you to talk to him or maybe to stay? You’re not sure.

Not this, you think, I can’t tell you this. “I hope I can, Stevie. Eventually.”

You step closer and hug him wishing for nothing more than to comfort him. The minute you’re in his arms you curse your body for fitting so perfectly against his, and the way it relaxes under his touch. You melt against him for a second, your mind spiraling further. You’re the only one for me, can’t you see? Can’t you tell how perfect this feels? But you’ll never see me as the one for you. Steve’s arms are a reassuring weight on your shoulder, and the way he hunches to cocoon you in his chest makes you sigh softly; softly enough he doesn’t hear you.

“Call me, yeah? I don’t know your aunt’s number.” Steve mumbles above your ear. it tickles you but you dare not move from his embrace. Not yet.

“Robin has it. I’ll call you though, to tell you I arrived okay.” You nod, knowing he feels the movement.

“And drive with caution.” He says next, his tone serious before his voice becomes softer. “ I could have driven you.”

“It’s like an 8 hour round trip Steve, I’d never ask that of you.” You shake your head against his shoulder, involuntarily breathing him in.

Steve reluctantly nods, still frowning you imagine but you don’t blame him. Even without your romantic feelings involved, it would make you sad to leave town for a while. This separation from him though necessary is killing you on the inside. “Just be careful, okay? I’ll miss you.”

You nod against his shoulder again. “I’ll miss you too..” You step back, putting some distance between you and looking into his eyes one more time. I’ll miss everything about you, you want to say.

“Let me check your car, make sure it’s alright for the road.” Steve is still frowning as he scratches his cheek anxiously. “Won’t take long.”

“Thank you, Stevie.” You muster your most convincing smile while your heart aches at his concern. He nods, and walks back to the driveway.

Robin’s arms envelop you a second later, squeezing you tightly. You return her fierce embrace with one of your own, sighing at the thought of leaving her behind. “Sorry to leave you with all the boys.” You tell her.

Robin takes a step back. “Please come back, okay? And call me when you get to aunt Maggie’s ‘cause then I’ll know you’re safe and sound. Don’t forget, or else I will end up hitchhiking to Ohio just to make sure you’re safe and with so many weirdos out there who knows where I’ll end up.” Robin starts to ramble, her eyes serious and her hands clutching your shoulders to get her message across.

You nod your head, smiling at her concern and creative mind. “I will call you, just please don’t hitchhike alright? Ask someone to drive you if you need to check that I’m not dead.”

Robin nods, her short hair bouncing lightly on her head. “I’ll miss you.”

“I will too.” You give her another hug before you move over to hug Eddie, who stands next to her.

Eddie’s leather jacket is cool to the touch, but it doesn’t take away any warmth from his hug. “You’ll be alright buttercup. Things might seem shitty right now, but it’ll get better.”

“Thank you, Eddie.” You say, voice small as you step back and look at him, grateful for his words and his support. “For everything. You’re a good friend.”

He dismisses the compliment with a wave of his hand, smiling softly at you. “You need anything, call us. We’ll get to you as fast as we can. Right, Harrington?” His eyes move to your car, and you turn around to find Steve there closing the hood.

You walk to him and stand next to the driver’s side. “Is it good to go?”

Steve nods, staring at the floor and then looking into your eyes again. “Come back, okay babe? I sure hope you find me here when you do, and that I haven’t crashed myself into a car because the kids drove me crazy while you were gone.”

You laugh at his joke and his own laughter follows soon after. Your eyes light up at the smile on his face, the way his eyes squint against the sun and wrinkle in the corners with his smile. You adore him, you are seriously fucked. “I’ll be back here on Wednesday, Stevie.” You smile at him, forgetting about everything for a second and kissing his cheek. “Don’t crash your car.”

With that, you slide into the driver’s seat, start the car, and drive away.

Steve stands in the driveway and stares after your car as it becomes smaller in the distance, until it turns a corner and disappears from view. It doesn’t feel right, fuck, it’s not right. Why did everything decide go to shit all of a sudden?

“You know Harrington, I did not take you for a blind man.” Eddie says to him, rubbing his chin before he shakes his head.

Steve puts his hands on his hips. “What’s that supposed to mean, Munson?” He’s lost, he’s been so confused since Friday. What had happened?

“Nothing,” Eddie puts his hands up. “I just think it’s sad that you’re so lucky, but you fail to see it.” Eddie gives him a small smile, then goes to his car as Steve stands there feeling more confused than before.

“Munson! Eddie! Come on what’s that supposed to mean?” Steve calls after him, but Eddie doesn’t turn around.

“You’ll figure it out eventually.” Is all Eddie says before getting into his car and driving away.

Steve turns, looking at Robin with pleading eyes. If there’s something he’s missing, which he’s sure he is, she must know it. “Robs?” He asks. “‘You gonna tell me what’s going on?”

Robin flicks his nose, then chuckles. “You should go home, dingus. Sit on it for a while, it’ll come to you.” She turns around and starts to walk along the sidewalk back to her place, leaving Steve to think over her words.

It’ll come to you. What will?

✫✫✫✫

It, in fact, did not come to him. Not on Sunday, and definitely not on Monday, especially with Robin’s refusal to help him out. No clues, no explanations, nothing. Steve’s hair is in a permanent state of disarray from constantly running his fingers through it. You were gone, and though you had talked to him briefly on the phone it just wasn’t enough. Steve feels like he’s going to lose his mind. You’ve been acting weird since the weekend, dodging dinner with what he thinks is a lie about being sick, then randomly leaving to Ohio. There was also the fact that your eyes looked sad, the last time he saw you, your smile only coming through when he joked right before you left. It had filled his chest with joy, but then you drove away and everything inside him deflated. He feels like a walking carcass, a shadow, a lost pet walking down the streets. Had he done something to upset you? Would you ever tell him what?

“You’ve been checking that list out for more than an hour, you know that right?” Robin speaks up from where she sits, reading a magazine with her boots propped up on the counter.

Family video is empty around him, like it always is on Tuesdays, and Steve looks down at the inventory list he’s holding. Every box is checked already, but he zoned out thinking about you and now he looks like an idiot standing by the drama aisle. How fitting.

“Shit.” Steve sighs, walking to place the list on the counter. He rests his head there, squeezing his eyes shut. There are too many questions swirling in his mind; it feels like he’s going crazy ––so he starts to pace. “What if she doesn’t come back Robin!”

“Why wouldn’t she?” She asks vaguely, and Steve knows she’s only half listening to him. “She has a shift at the deli on Thursday.”

“She left last minute, something must have happened. And it has to do with me, because she didn’t tell me until the last minute! I’m her best friend, I’m always the first to know.” Steve runs a hand through his hair again, and stares at the carpeted floor while he walks the whole length of the counter and back. “Then there’s you and Munson being so mysterious about all this, not telling me anything.”

“Steve.” Robin sighs, “I don’t think there’s a point in me telling you, I think you already know what happened, but your mind doesn’t process it yet.”

“I don’t know!” Steve throws his hands up in exasperation at the same time the front door opens. Dustin, Max, and Lucas storm inside, determined looks on their faces.

“Where is she?” Dustin demands, foregoing all manners as he looks from Steve to Robin.

“Who?” Robin asks, not looking up from her magazine.

“You know who!” Dustin says, rolling his eyes. “She’s not been at the Deli for two days.”

“And she won’t answer the phone at home. Her parents said she’s away. Where?” Max asks, furrowing her eyes when she looks at Steve. “Did you do something?”

“No! I’m as lost as all of you are.” Steve rolls his eyes. “She’s been acting weird since Friday.”

“She seemed fine to me.” Lucas shrugs, the crosses his arms over his chest. “She gave us some sandwiches, then we talked for a while. Everything was normal.”

“Yeah, well she bailed on dinner with us because she got sick from eating a sandwich.” Steve shakes his head, looking away from the accusatory looks the teenagers were giving him.

“From a sandwich?” Max says, a confused look crossing her features. “Can’t be, she ate half of mine and I’m fine.”

Steve’s head turns to the redhead so fast, he’s sure he risked whiplash. “What?”

“I told you.” Dustin says with an eye roll. “None of us were sick on Friday.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t tell me she shared a sandwich with Max!” Steve points a finger at him, then sighs and rests his hands on his hips. “So, she just bailed? Didn’t go to the mall? She told me she was excited.”

“You didn’t see her there?” Lucas asks.

“No, Eddie drove Robin that night, she wasn’t around.” Steve shakes his head, then looks at the teens in front of him suspiciously. “What do you know?”

“Eddie couldn’t have driven Robin; he ran out of D&D and then drove to the mall. He said he was running late.” Dustin explains, his eyebrows are furrowed in concentration and Steve knows he’s trying to figure the puzzle out. “So, she must have driven Robin, but why did she leave?”

“Why did she lie?” Steve wonders aloud.

“Maybe she changed her mind.” Lucas supplies and Max shakes her head.

“That’s not it.” Max mumbles, at the same time Robin speaks up.

“Maybe she saw something she didn’t like.”

“I knew it! You know something!” Steve says, turning to face Robin at the same moment she lowers her magazine.

Her gaze is serious, “Think about it, Steve. What did you do on Friday.”

All teenagers turn to him, expectant looks on their faces to hear what Steve has to say.

Steve’s face transforms into a grimace. “I went on a bad date with someone.”

“What?!” Dustin, Max, and Lucas, yell at the same time.

The outrage in their eyes makes Steve put his hands up. “What do you mean ‘what?!’”

Max pretends to think, then speaks up. “Um, aren’t you like completely gone for Y/N?”

“Why would you go on a date with someone else?” Dustin shakes his head.

Steve scratches the back of his neck and looks down at the floor. He almost messed up on Friday afternoon, when he went to the deli to see you. You had looked just so fucking pretty ––like you always do–– with your hair styled in that way that makes Steve crazy and that pink lip-gloss on your lips. It was like you were trying to drive him out of his mind that day, and Steve being the idiot he is, had slipped. He’d leaned too close to you, he let his eyes shift down to your lips and fucking blushed when you caught him staring. He’d given into the impulse of touching your hand and was pretty sure he would have kissed you had a customer not arrived. He felt so stupid, the one thing he told himself not to do ––let you find out he’s in love with you–– and he went ahead and almost blew it. You had smiled so prettily at him, and it took everything in him to put distance between the two of you. So, after leaving the deli, flustered and in a rush, Steve looked for a date to bring to dinner that night. Anything to get the feelings that had surfaced in check, and to cover up his slip in front of you.

“So I would be forced to think about someone else but her! So she wouldn’t figure out I like her!” Steve shakes his head, disliking the way everyone is looking at him like he’s a blind man. Just like Munson said on Sunday.

“It all makes sense now.” Dustin nods, and everyone agrees. Everyone but Steve.

“No,” Steve shakes his head. “What? It doesn’t.”

Robin groans and puts her magazine down. “How would you feel if it had been you in her place, Steve?”

Steve looks down to the floor again, thinking about it. He thinks about you on a date with someone else, some dude who would get to hold your hand and make you laugh. It immediately hurts something inside of him, and he clenches his fists by his sides. “That makes no sense, it would suck, but only because I have feelings for her.”

Max is going to say something, but Robin holds her hand up and speaks first. Her eyes are trained on Steve. “He’ll realize it, give him a minute.”

Steve thinks about the way you lied about being sick and avoided dinner on Friday, those are things he would do too, if he is being honest. He thinks about the possibility of you having feelings for him, about his love not being unrequited and it all makes sense. Your avoidance, the way you looked so sad on Sunday. He’d hurt you, and now you thought he was in love with someone else. Your heart. Steve winces as he thinks about how you must have felt, your heart, so kind and so big, it must have hurt that night. It might even still hurt right now. All because of him.

“So she…” Steve mumbles, speechless at the thought.

“YES STEVE!” Everyone yells at him, and that is enough to jump-start his heart and his mind. It spurs him into action.

“Shit! Shit!” Steve says, patting his pockets for his keys. “I have to go, I gotta go see her and–– and I’ll figure out the rest on the way.”

“We’re coming with you!” Robin jumps up from her seat, a look of triumph on her face. “Told you you’d figure it out.”

“Keith, we gotta go!” Steve yells over his shoulder, running to the door and flipping the store’s sign to close. “Take it out of my paycheck!”

Everyone squeezes into Steve’s car, with barely any time to put their seat belts on before Steve reverses out of his parking spot and speeds out of the lot. He sees everything with new eyes. Hope flourishing on his chest. He needs flowers, and he needs to think over what he’ll say. He’s got 4 hours, more than enough time.

✫✫✫✫

The days you spent at Aunt Maggie’s house had been everything but uneventful. She had welcomed you with open arms and showed you the new things she’d changed around the house since your last visit. From then on you had kept busy, thankful for the distractions, working on the garden, watering the many flowers planted around the property, driving to town and running errands for your aunt. Then there was Saturn, Aunt Maggie’s golden retriever, who had done wonders to your mood the moment you arrived. But still, your feelings and thoughts always found a way to creep up on you. You thought and missed Steve, constantly, unable to tune him out like you hoped, and every phone call with him cemented the fact that you can’t go on lying to him. He is still your best friend, and even though you’re going to lose him you came to the decision to tell him the truth. You’ll tell him that you’re in love with him once you’re back in Hawkins. You figure, that if you’re going to end up hurt either way ––pining while he dates someone else or alone after you confess your feelings–– you might as well get hurt from telling the truth.

You are just about done baking some cookies, taking them out of the oven and setting them on the counter to cool, when you hear a car approaching the house. The gravel road crunches under its weigh, and you look out the window to see if Aunt Maggie was back from her book club. But it isn’t her car that’s approaching, it’s Steve’s. Tiny pieces of dirt fly everywhere as the tires move on the small and secluded path to the house. The sun that’s still shinning, though lower on the sky, glints on the windshield and conceals who’s inside. You try to keep your emotions in check, but your stomach flips traitorously at the thought of it being Steve.

Saturn barks next to you, propping his paws on the kitchen counter to look out the window. A second later he dashes to the front door, and barks to let you know he wants to go out. You take your apron off, and walk to the living room, lingering by the front door for a moment as you wonder what the hell is going on. Your aunt’s dog runs outside the moment you open the door, surprising Max, Lucas and Dustin when they open the back door. Robin is next to slide out of the car, opening the passenger door and running to where you stand.

“Hey stranger.” She smiles, her arms hugging you tightly as you chuckle. You hug her back, smiling widely at the sight of your friend.

“Hey yourself.” You say. “What are you––?”

“YN!” The three teenagers run to you. They shove Robin out of the way before they hug you and though you try, you can’t make out a single word they’re saying. It could be gibberish, or something serious but you can’t focus on any of it because Steve steps out of his car in that moment.

“There are cookies on the kitchen counter.” You tell the three of them after your hug, and it’s enough to get them running inside the house.

Steve walks around his car and stands there, in the sun, holding a small bouquet of colourful flowers. His face is serious, save for a small smile he sends your way, and with just one look you can tell something is different. But you don’t know what.

“Hi.” He says when you walk towards him, eyes shining in a new way that confuses you even more.

“Hi, Stevie.” You smile, then tilt your head slightly. “What are you doing here?”

Steve offers you the flowers with a shrug and when you take them from him, his hand holds your wrist gently. “I came to see you, I have to tell you something.”

You look at his hand when it lets go of you, and swallow hard. “I––I do too.” You say, taking a deep breath and looking into his eyes. How is it that he got prettier in just 3 days.

Steve starts to speak but you speak up first, needing to tell him the truth once and for all ––before you chicken out. “I love you Steve. I––I have feelings for you, so many that I can’t hide them anymore. I saw you on Friday at the mall when you were out on a date and it… well it broke my heart.” You shake your head, looking away and to the side.

You gather courage with another deep breath and look at him again. “I didn’t know how to face you without you finding out about my feelings, so I lied about being sick. I’m sorry for lying, I hated it, I hated being away from you too. But I decided to let you know how I felt, regardless of the consequences. I understand if this makes things between us weird.”

Steve shakes his head, holding you free hand. “Babe––”

“Please don’t call me that if you don’t mean it like it means to me, Stevie.” Tears have gathered in your eyes, and you brush them away quickly. “I can’t take it.”

He takes a step closer to you, making the distance between the two of you smaller. You breathe in sharply at the proximity, only to become breathless a second later. “Babe, baby, beautiful, gorgeous, sweetheart.” Steve whispers to you, his eyes adoring and melting you on the spot. “I mean them all, I’ve meant all of them.” Steve confesses and brings his hands up to cradle your face, his smile is almost shy as he speaks.

At your stunned silence Steve continues, growing more confident. “I love you, I’ve loved you for so long. I only went on a date because I almost kissed you that morning and tried to get over you. And I failed because it’s impossible to get over you.” He shakes his head and closes his eyes. “I’m sorry I hurt you because I never thought you’d feel the same way, you’re way too good for me.”

“No, I’m not.” You shake your head, tears blur your vision for a whole different reason this time. “You deserve everything, Steve.”

“I just need you, only you, babygirl.” His thumb rubs your cheek softly, it makes you close your eyes. “You were gone 3 days and it was hell…I thought I was going to lose you.”

“Stevie.” You whisper. You feel speechless as you stare up at him in wonder and in love, struck with the truth and the relief that you don’t have to give each other up after all. “We’ve been so wrong.”

Steve only nods, understanding the look in your eyes like he’s thinking the same thing. “Gotta make it right.”

You look at his lips then back at his eyes, feeling your face burn when Steve smiles at you.

His pupils dilate as he takes you in, his eyes feeling like a caress everywhere he looks. “I’m yours, baby.” He says softly, “You can kiss me.”

You settle your hands on his shoulders and you lean in, feeling electricity go through your whole body when Steve’s lips touch yours. Every breath on your body leaves you at one, every thought disappears from your mind, and it only leaves room for you to focus on the person in front of you. Your best friend, who’s lips fit so perfectly with yours, you’re not sure how the two of you took so long to take this next step. Because you were both idiots, your mind supplies. You tune it out and wrap your arms around Steve’s neck, pressing your chests together in the process and bringing you even closer. One of Steve’s hands that cradled your cheek moves to the back of your neck, deepening the kiss, and you can’t help the sigh that leaves you. Goosebumps rise on your skin when you feel his tongue brush your bottom lip, his hand tangle in your hair, his teeth lightly catching one of your lips between them. It’s perfect, it overwhelms your senses, it makes you want to stay in this moment forever. You wonder briefly, if this is all a dream but shut that thought down immediately. There’s no way you could conjure up a dream this perfect, a dream that feels so right.

You smile, then laugh when the joy you feel is impossible to hold back, and Steve pulls back with a matching smile of his own. “There it is my girl’s smile. ‘Was going fucking crazy not seeing it for more than a day.” He says.

Your smile brightens, your heart soars inside your chest at how right it all feels. “I missed you, Stevie.”

Steve’s hands drift down to your waist and bring you closer to him; his eyes dark from your kiss softening after a moment. “I missed you more, come back home yeah?”

“I will.” You nod, matching Steve’s shining smile. You hold back a giggle, an idea popping up in your mind just like it did last Friday. “I just have one question.”

“Sure babe.” Steve leans down, his lips placing a couple of barely-there kisses on your cheeks. “Anything.”

“Did you see that updog on the way here?”

“What’s updog?” He asks distracted, lips against your skin.

“Nothing, what’s up with you?” You giggle, and soon start laughing at the look of absolute defeat on Steve’s face. “Told you I’d make you fall for it eventually.”

“Oh come on, I was distracted! You tricked me.”

You cackle as he tries to deny the fact that he fell for your prank and Steve’s eyes squint with determination. His fingers flutter on your waist and you squirm out of his reach, knowing what’s on his mind. There’s no way you’ll let him tickle you. Steve laughs when you start running away to the open field next to the house. He runs after you, following your own laughter, his heart so full it could burst.

You look over your shoulder and smile. “I love you!” You tell him, just because you can, and can’t help but thank fate for this turn of events when Steve yells back:

“I love you.”

tagging some very nice people: @magnitude101999 @steveslittlesunflower @avengersbabe13 @vulgarfuckinvirgo @k1ngeddie

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington hurt/comfort #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fanfic

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critterbitter · 3 months

Note

HELLO HI ID LIKE TO ASK WHAT PROGRAM AND BRUSHES YOU USE CUZ IM LITTERALY EXPLODING EVERYTIME I SEE YOUR ART

actually actually... *pulls out whole stack of paper*...I have. a FEW,, a good few,, questions to ask. they are not many I swear 😇

OK SO FIRST OF ALL HOW DO YOU DRAW SO FAST???? everyday I log onto Tumblr I always see something new from you and I get very very happy. But then I start to question my own existence because not even I CAN SPEED RUN ART LIKE THAT. AND SO SPECTACULARLY TOO

Last question! how do you color and make it look so well?? just. How. I need to know. This is a CRY FOR HE-

anyway thank you for being one of my favorite artists that always feed my brain rot, pls keep making amazing art because like a little yamper I will follow behind and stay updated.

(Stands there)

Response and thoughts under cut!

First question! What art program I use!

Mostly procreate, along with a handful of brushes! (Specifically the Jing Set and some custom stuff, which is really just a circle brush with the shape changed to a square.)

Second question! How do i draw so much!

Okay so. I am. Ahhah. Unemployed,,,,? No, I do freelance illustration, but hmm. A studio job would be nice.

i graduated college last year and I’m very used to eight hour art shifts. The body sort of remembers to keep working, even though I no longer have storyboards or visdev homework to do.

Also. The hyperfixation is a deep vast tunnel I STILL have not seen the end of the light to, good golly. (I have dreams now about the kids committing shenanigan crimes. I wake up in cold sweat and write them down in a journal. It’s like being the mouthpiece to an angry god.)

So the overall gist is: I was trained to be a storyboard artist with a visdev background, and I’m using that higher education to draw funny muppets because my brain’s funny.

I also DO have a queue, and I’ve been treating this as a sort of inktober project. I am definitely going to slow down soon though! Maybe. Hopefully. Ah… (sheepishly drops my kofi here)

Third question! How do i color!

I. I, uh. I dont know man the coloring demons have a grip on my soul and i just go along for the ride. But also, if it helps, i prefer to limit my pallets to only a few colors at a time. Lighting is king, so if you can figure out if you want to focus on either on your lights or shadows, you’ll have a much easier time composing. That, and symbolic colors— idk, something hits different about art drenched in gold with a tiny hint of a man staring into the blinding horizon, or a green leafy environment with a single dot of artificial red. I also like using blue and purple for shadows, and I’m a big fan of muting colors with only one or two that pop— one of the reasons why I was so attracted to submas in the first place is because from a design aesthetic, they’re both super funny muppet men AND really cool train guys that have a limited pallet and thematic apparel.

Overall response! THANK YOU SO MUCH. This goes out to a BUNCH of people who sent me inbox queries— sorry for not responding, it’s a tad overwhelming because some of them are story questions even I don’t really know will go yet, and others are words of praise and I’m selfish and like scrolling through the inbox to look at them when I feel down. I am more of an artist who sits in the corner and sprouts like a potato rather then a branching vine who socializes, but I really do see people’s responses and they make me go :)))))

Okay ramble over. Thanks for coming to the soapbox, and good luck on creating!

#critterbitter #ask #mailbox

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spacecowboyhotch · 4 months

Text

In Plain Sight, Ch 2: A Hoard of Cupids

summary: nathan’s much more insightful about you than he used to be. it’s making you uneasy…and curious.

pairing: nathan bateman x f!reader

contents: 18+/NSFW/MINORS DNI, enemies to lovers (sorta), boss/employee dynamics, pining, nathan trying to be nice but he’s so abrasive lol, pining, mentions of caretaking/sick family members, mentions of emotionally abusive parents, masturbation (m), sub!nathan if you squint

wc: 2,745

AN: back at it with part twoooo. thank you all for the kind words and support on this fic, i didn’t expect it to get the response it did but i’m really excited to give y’all the rest. fair warning that these chapters seem to be getting longer as i write on. happy reading!

in plain sight masterlist | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

Nathan gives you space— at first. When you return the next day at 7 a.m. sharp he’s nowhere to be found. Not in the living room or in the kitchen, not on his patio boxing. You assume he’s in his room, probably toying with one of his bots in a distasteful manner. The idea makes you shudder. But is it not easier to come to work with every task he could want you to do placed on his desk, no fuss?

You don’t like Nathan Bateman. He’s a pompous asshole, a know it all, a man who thinks only about his own desires. When he apologized— or rather attempted to— yesterday you thought that maybe you slipped and fallen down the stairs on your way out. By his standards, it was a top tier apology. You’d never once heard him apologize to anyone. On your drive home you had wondered if he had ever apologized in his life. The thought made you giggle, and then you’d turned up the music and forgotten about him until right now.

Sat at your desk, an ungodly stack of things to do. There’s a note sat on top. It’s simple and straightforward, lacking emotion but somehow still has your stomach flipping. It reads:

In meetings all day— let me know if you need anything. Go home early today.

Mr. Bateman

P.S. I’ll spruce up my apologizing skills.

You regard the note cautiously, raising your brow at it before you let yourself laugh a little. Was this a joke or had Nathan Bateman taken some criticism to heart (which is rumored to not exist). You fold the note up, and for some reason slip it into your bag.

The last thing that’s on your mind is that Nathan’s watching you. He sits in the dark at his monitors, leaning in closely. His eyes trace your figure on the screens intensely, watching as you read and read and read. He expects no reaction from you beside maybe throwing it in the trash. But then you laugh, and he watches you store it for safekeeping. A piece of him will go home with you. Nathan never thought he’d be jealous of a piece of paper, not when he seems to have the entire world at his fingertips.

—

He returns to his normal behavior after a week— partially because he thinks you settled in. And partially because…well he begrudgingly can admit to himself, in the comfort of his own mind, that he misses you. When you get to work the next Monday he’s sat on an observation table, examining what looks like a deconstructed robot brain.

You aren’t even able to open your mouth and say good morning before he’s talking to you.

“Are you sleeping okay?” He asks, his eyes appraising you intensely.

You stop in your tracks, regarding him as always, your expression pieced into that calm expression. So you’re back to normal, none of that fire. He expected it but that doesn’t keep him from feeling disappointed.

“Sir?”

“You look really fucking tired. Exhausted,” He tacts on for good measure.

Your spine goes completely rigid, your grip on your bag tightening. You are tired. So very tired. You work shitty hours for incredible money and then go home to take care of your younger sisters and mother. Dealing with Nathan is for them. For your sisters’ schooling, so they won’t feel left out when the other kids have the newest gadget or shoes. For your mother’s ever piling medical bills. It’s important that you don’t jeopardize something so precious.

“Is it affecting my work? Have I done something wrong?” You ask him softly.

“No— that’s not why I’m—“ He stutters before closing his mouth and starting anew. You’ve never seen him like this. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he was flustered. But knowing Nathan, he’s just never asked a single employee he’s ever had if they’re alright. “I’m your boss, I worry about your well being. That’s what good bosses do.”

“Are you sure?” You ask evenly, eyes still trained on him.

“Am I—“ He stops, eyes wide for a fraction of a second before he bites away his smile. “Are you fucking with me?”

If he was looking at you so intentionally he would miss the way your mouth twitches. “I’m fine, Mr. Bateman. I have a lot of responsibilities, not only here but out there as well.”

“Out there?”

“The real world. Thank you for the concern, sir.”

For the second time, you’ve rendered Nathan speechless. That night he lays in bed thinking of you, like many nights prior. He turns your words over in his head time and time again. The real world. Do you think he doesn’t know what it’s like out there? He wonders how much research you’d done for the job. Nathan used his brain to get here, climbing and climbing. He hadn’t been born into this but his personality lent itself to such a conclusion. Nathan knows what his real world used to look like, though one day he hopes that any of his contraptions can help him forget. He wonders what your real world looks like.

There’s no ring on your finger, but you could have a partner. Kids? Another job? He pays you well enough for that to not be necessary. Maybe you volunteer at a puppy shelter. He could picture it. You in something other than your stuffy work clothes, a smile on your face as you drown in puppy breath and slobber.

He groans, rolling over in bed to plant his face deeply in the pillow. Maybe he can smother himself out of this. Thinking about puppies? He might as well be one, he’s practically lovesick if you have him thinking like this. When would he get used to feeling this way? His usual cynical thoughts feel like they’re being pillaged by a hoard of cupids.

He doesn’t even know if you feel the same. Being better for you is one thing, but what if there’s no payoff? What if he changes for you and you leave him high and dry? Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He feels the back of his neck sweating and sits up.

Nathan’s been down this road before, it’s brought him his fortune and an insane work ethic. It’s all brought him sorrow he’ll never be able to escape. Being with his parents feels like a fever dream sometimes and other times he feels 6 again, like he’s drowning in their expectations and insults, trying to measure up. He’d given up eventually, once he realized that they would never love him the way parents should. Why try to do anything anyone wanted but himself when they could still treat him poorly for it?

He’s the way he is from his own indoctrination. He doesn’t know where he would be if he hadn’t convinced himself that he was the only person that truly matters.

But, now there’s you. You, who looks so soft, you that scratches an itch he didn’t even realize he had. You, that he wants to goad and prod and poke until you unleash all of yourself on him. He closes his eyes and lays back, envisioning you right here with him. He feels insane, his heart— his mind, his dick— are taking him through a whirlwind of emotions right now.

He palms himself through his boxers, eyes squeezing shut tighter than before as he tries to narrate. He pictures you in one of his white shirts, it’s fabric nearly see-through with the way it clings to your breasts. He grasps his length through his boxers letting out a heaving sigh. Fuck he wishes this was you.

If there’s anything that Nathan knows how to do its not only being smartest but the most imaginative. He’s been daydreaming for as long as he can remember. Universes with better outcomes— having worth, or loving parents or anyone for that matter. Anyone to be on his side. He imagined codes and synthetic body parts that live and breathe in front of him. He can surely imagine you, breathy and horny in his bed, jerking him off. He doesn’t care if it’s fucked up, or inappropriate. He wants you, and maybe this is the only way he can have you. He slides his boxers down, finally done teasing himself. Licking his palm, he grabs his cock, starts stroking and succumbs to the thought of you.

Another moan bubbles out of his throat. He can see your nipples through his shirt when you straddle him like this. Your thighs are soft against his own and he would reach for your free hand, thread his fingers through your own. Your hands are smaller than his, smooth and supple. And god, you’re stroking him just the way he likes it, the soft wet sound making pleasure shoot through his groin.

You’d overstimulate him wouldn’t you? With that clever mouth barely pulling up a grin, eyes full of fire as you stroke him past the point of pleasure. Would you make him watch? See the way your hands would grow slick and shiny with his cum as you kept pumping and pumping, pushing him to another release. Covering you both in him, until you’re too needy to keep toying with him. Nathan cums just as he’s imagining the feeling of you dragging your bare pussy against his sensitive cock. He whines and keens off the bed, the high singing in his veins. He swears he can almost imagine the way you would moan.

His eyes open, the spell broken. He’s alone, covered in his own spend, chest heaving like he just ran a 10k. He avoids his reflection when he walks into the bathroom to clean up. His loneliness spikes again and he heads to the kitchen, reaching for the first bottle he can find.

—

“You’re late,” He says stiffly, crossing his arms as he watches you cross the space to sit at your desk.

The day after he’d gotten off thinking of you he’d had the slightest difficulty looking at you. It quickly faded, he was too greedy. Too needy, if he’s being honest. He can’t get enough, he doesn’t know if he could ever say it but you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

You’re openly frazzled; your shirt isn’t tucked in, your hair is a little more frizzy than usual and you look as tired as ever. He regrets his biting tone immediately.

Even as you explain you’re moving, setting your to-go mug on the desk, fetching your calendar, booting up your computer. “I know, I’m sorry, Mr. Bateman. My sisters were less than cooperative this morning.”

Nathan turns completely away from the bins he’s been searching through, raising a brow at you in surprise, “Your sisters?”

“Yes— one is 7 the other is 14. The little made getting out of the house…difficult,” You murmur distractedly, eyes trained on your screen.

“Isn’t that your parents’ fucking job?”

His question snaps you back to the present— you hadn’t shared nearly as much as you could’ve. But you’d gone into this job wanting to be nameless and faceless. Memorable only for the quality of the work you do.

You shake your head, daring a quick glance in his direction that you immediately regret when your eyes meet his.“I realized that I’ve shared far too much about my personal life. I should work, Mr. Bateman.”

Nathan immediately understands your deflecting. How many times has he been asked by reporters and interviewers where his family is? Enough times that he’s had his publicist strike the topic from the acceptable lists. That was about all he was good for anyway, Nathan says what he wants when he wants.

He goes back to the task at hand— though now with you here he doesn’t quite remember what that was. A part…some sort of part that he needed. Wires? Screws? A metal plate? He sighs in frustration and leaves without another word.

Your gaze is on the door as soon as it shuts, making sure he’s gone. The tears that you’ve been biting back fall and you bury your face in your hands. Your youngest sister had begged and pleaded for you to stay warm in bed with her this morning. With your mother so sick, you’ve practically raised her yourself these last few years. It makes her needy, which you understand. But what she doesn’t understand is how delicate the balance you found in caring for your entire family is. Middle sister lacks just as much understanding, with heaps of attitude. She doesn’t want to snuggle with you or with younger sister. Mediating this entire situation is what made you late.

It feels like you’re cracking under the pressure but that isn’t an option, is it? As if the universe wants to make it clear, your computer chimes. It’s Nathan, asking you to come to his office.

—

He’d meant to go clear his head in his office and come back to get whatever part he was in need of. But, when he sat in his chair he was met with the sight of you hunched over your desk, presumably crying by the way your shoulders jerked every once and a while.

He’s pinging you before he can think better of it. He watches you read his message. You’re such an anomaly— you sit up immediately, reaching for some tissues and cleaning yourself up as if nothing happened. You even check yourself in the reflection of your computer, fidgeting with your hair, tucking in your shirt once you stand. As soon as you start out of the office he turns off his monitors, not one to be caught snooping around though it’s right and was clear in the contract. Maybe you’ve forgotten. Perhaps you don’t think your anything worth watching…Nathan would like to change that assumption.

“You pinged me, sir?”

How would he play this? He couldn’t admit that he just watched you cry.

“Trying my hand at this apologizing shit again. I— Nathan Bateman— am sorry for being insensitive. Like I said last time, I don’t know your life or you. Alright, how was that?”

“I would say a solid, 5/10, which is a 50% improvement.”

“Fuck me, you’re a tough crowd. What am I docked for? You know I’m all about perfection.”

“There was a lack of originality. And you omitted your middle name.”

It takes everything in Nathan not to giggle. The way the words come out of your mouth are so funny… or maybe he’s just obsessed. It could be both. “My middle name is classified information.”

“Does Wikipedia know that?” You ask, tilting your head in that uncanny way.

Nathan can’t hold in his laugh this time, running a hand over his beard, “You’re funnier than you look.”

Your mouth twitches, and you give him the smallest nod, “Thank you, sir. Is that all?”

He pretends to think about it. “This apology is feeling pretty one-sided to me.”

“I accept your apology, Mr. Bateman, thank you.”

“Accept something else,” He proposes, going out on a limb. Suddenly your stare is too intense, the room is too hot and small. What the fuck is he doing?

“What’s that?” You ask, as soft and sweet as ever.

“Dinner. Tomorrow,” He says simply.

“With you?”

Nathan ignores the twinge in his heart— your tone barely changed. If he wasn’t with you every single day, studying you, he wouldn’t even have noticed.

“I can invite the droids if you want. They’ll just stare at us while we eat.”

Your hand tightens around your planner. Dinner with Nathan…choosing to be around him? It seemed like as of late he was trying to be…more palatable. This could be an act of good faith. But, you have your sisters and mother to think about. You’ve given her nurse enough overtime hours in the last few weeks.

“Without getting too personal, I don’t think I’ll be able to swing it sir, I have to get home to my sisters as soon as possible.”

Yes, your family, that you never talk about. He could accommodate, what’s he the fucking boss for if he can’t?

“We’ll do it early.”

You sway a little as you think about this— that’s new, he thinks to himself, filing that information away for later.

“You’ve already got me apologizing, I can’t add saying please to the list of acceptable behaviors. I’ll lose my fucking edge.”

“How early?”

“3:30.”

“Alright, then, sir.”

nathan taglist: @missdictatorme, @hon3yboy, @runa-falls, @campingwiththecharmings, @toracainz, @steven-grants-world, @clemdango04, @jdbxws, @crispysublimecupcake, @sub-aro, @faretheeoscar, @cupidysm, @whentheskyispinkandabitblue , @nova-ivy541, @sparkypantelones, @veritable-trash, @mangoslushcrush, @kotaropuppy

#nathan bateman x reader #nathan bateman x f!reader #nathan bateman x fem!reader #nathan bateman #nathan bateman fanfiction #ex machina fanfiction #in plain sight #arson writes #not sfw

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anonymouscheeses · 3 months

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more obvious shit I wanted to point out but it's more than last time uhhh pt.2 (spoilers for dad beat dad and maybe welcome to heaven. Maybe?)

I love that Charlie just randomly goes into demon form sometimes like here ehhehehe. Also can I just say I love Charlie so much?? She is my favorite and I love her especially in this episode because it feels like the same optimistic Charlie but she was just put in a bad situation. I relate to her a bit TOO much, almost down to every detail like wow. You'll understand later once I get there. But just wow...

LOOK AT THIS FUNNY LITTLE MAN. SPOODER DUST <3 also. Live [image] reaction. Someone make that into a reaction image 🙏🙏

HONEY!!! NEW MEME TEMPLATE JUST DROPPED. (Aka the one guy going crazy trying to explain the stuff on the board iykyk)

OMG... THAT CANT BE CHARLIE... NOT CHARLIE'S EMO PHASE PLEASE BAHAHAHHAHAHA (also love that Lucifer has kept it all these years, if Charlie knew I think she'd be extremely embarrassed. Vaggie would love it probably xd)

HE IS SO GOOFY I CANT- I LOVE HIM SO MUCH ALREADY!!! NEED.

Broskie got character development and is NICE?!? I LOVE THAT SMMM YALL.... LOOK AT HIM!! I am very delusional yes, but I will take this over ass development(cough. Vaggie's "story" in ep 3. Cough).

Imagine this. *holds your hand carefully to help you calm down while talking to your father you haven't really wanted to talk to.* lesbian type stuff ngl 🤯 (relatable)

Angel looking at the gays while being a gay too. HE'S BEING SO KIND TO CHARLIE UGGHH I CANTTT!!(POS) NODDING HIS HEAD, SMILING TO HER, ALSO TRYING TO HELP CALM HER DOWN. I MAY BE ASS AT SOCIAL CUES BUT I NOTICED THIS ONE!! YAA

*SHE IS STILL HOLDING HER HAND. CHARLIE'S ALSO SWINGING IT AROUND NERVOUSLY. I can never get tired of them and will make art soon just you wait.*

COMMANDER VAGGIE! I love that she acts like this is a camp full of tiny kids and honestly? That's not too far off. Sir pentious is at the ready! (glad he's here more often in the episode, thought he would just get sidelined after his first episode but gladly no!) Angel is just surprised. Husk spilled his drink, ON WHITE FUR NO LESS! Niffty of course is on the floor face first. Charlie is just happy to be there yippee!

What is this?? I have no idea what the hell it is at all. Bro is just peepin- it doesn't look like Alastor, even in demon form. And... I can't think of anyone else who could be this. Anyone have ideas or maybe it's foreshadowing? Maybe it was revealed in the 6th episode I don't know I haven't watched it yet. (I am a freak. I don't binge I give myself a day to watch a single episode. Most of the time uhhh.)

WE LOVE A SHORT KING. I LOVE THAT. I LOVE HIM. THE EVERYTHING. HE IS EVERYTHING. LET ME STRANGLE HIM PLEASE. (Lillith and Lucifer's dynamic is 100% Gomez and Morticia but a little more silly short man)

"OH WOW! AN OLDER MAN WHO GIVES ME FATHERLY CARE!" *STARTS TO FUCKING CRY*

I FEEL YOU CHARLIE WAAAGHHH

Oh and there goes the silly guy again! Atp I'm thinking it may be the gal some people been talking about that they've been hinting since the pilot. I forgot her name but she's said to be the big bad of season 1 or probably 2. Not sure if that's what it's trying to imply but here's my little no-thought idea

Lucifer, no...

LUCIFER NO!! THIS IS SUCH AN ADORABLE RESPONSE TO CHARLIE DATING A WOMAN. (ADOPT ME)

AND THEN THE HUG! I GET IM LOOKING TOO MUCH INTO THIS ONE SILLY SCENE BUT I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH AND WANT THIS SO BAD IN MY LIFE.

Niffty really said, "Yes, I do the cleaning."

Get yourself a taller king who is a short king but compared to you is a tall king

Say what you will, but I genuinely want more dad Alastor, someone make an au before I do plsss and @ me 🙏🙏

alright.. now this is where it starts to be relatable and hurt my heart... yayy.... needing any sort of parent figure that actually cares about you than the actual parent who is rarely there? WOWZA! SAME CHARLIE <3 <3 (SO FAR VERY ACCURATE FROM SOMEONE THAT IS IN THE SAME SITUATION)

Alastor is letting her off kindly, atleast in his way. He may be pissed off she brought a shark gang to the hotel and put it on fire, but they were still close friends. With anyone else he would absolutely either murder them or have severely traumatized the person. She's the exception, although I don't think he'd let it off the hook so easily if there were a next time.

A father-daughter embrace! :,)

(This is gonna be messy asf) He wants to know who she is as a person. He always has, and that's definitely obvious, but from a person inside this, they may not know themselves what the other is thinking. To Charlie it was like he never cared and just wanted an excuse to not see her again, acting like he was truly busy as in the start where he made the rubber duck that breathed fire. Sure. But Charlie saw it as him finding ways to not interact with her again. The only times they talk was when it was related to business stuff or other things of the sort. Let me just say this song... is by far my favorite, including the episode. Sure, it's got problems it's own, but this extremely accurate portrayal of what my own situation with one of my parents just stole my entire soul. Yeah I got a bit of tears about to come out, BUT NOPE! NOT TODAY! I don't ever cry during shows or movies so if I ever get teary-eyed, YOU DID SOMETHING. THAT SOMETHING BEING GOOD. This episode was emotional and connected with me on a deep level that I dont think any film has ever done to me, which is weird because I've been actively trying to find one, any one that does. Then to find it in an indie company from a creator who has achieved the dreams that I myself want to one day? That's fucking amazing.

FORESHADOWING! FROESHADOWING! FORESHADOWING! VAGGIE EX-ANGEL THEORY MUST BE CANON AND IF ITS NOT I WILL TEAR MYSELF LIMB FROM LIMB WITH A CROWBAR. LETS GO TO HEAVENNN!!! TOMORROW! BECAUSE THE DAY I PUBLISH THIS WILL BE TOMORROW(FOR YOU TODAY) BUT TOMORROW FOR YOU ILL POST THE NEXT WHAT I CAUGHT SHENANIGANS AGAIN! SEE YA!

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jchampionsgf · 4 months

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Cock warming Friday

Word count: 1298

Pairings: ethan Landry x fem!reader

Warnings: smut!, dirty talking, cock warming

Trope: enemies to lovers

A/N: idk about this one, I’ve been a little insecure to write smut lately but I hope you like it :)

every friday ethan, anika, you and the core four would have a movie night, mostly it was for shits and giggles and ya'll never actualy payed attention to the movie. The majority of the group would just want to spend time together or eat pizza, but you? you just wanted to annoy the shit out of ethan landry. ethan was such a jerk, you absolutely dispysed him, making the fact that you wanted his cock in your mouth extremetly more annoying, you tried to deny it and let it asside but you just couldn't anymore, ethan was hot. like if your type became to life hot. but you hated ethan, and ethan hated you, so there was no point in trying, your ego wasn't worth that douchebag.

friday came around and like always, sam would bring pizza, i would bring coke and chad and ethan would lend their dorm. you were getting ready when your phone rung a text message from the group chat. "danny agreed to come to movie night, i hope that's ok with ya'll" sam texted. "the sofa is gonna be full tonight" you said to yourself. "hey, are you ready to go?" tara, my roommate said. "yeah i think so, i wonder what horror movie we will watch tonight, we are almost running out of them" you said, chuckling "well you know mindy, she's got a insanetly huge list." tara said, opening the door to our dorm. chad and ethan's dorm wasn't that far away, you just had to go a few floors up by stairs. "oh and chad said that ethan broke a couch earlier today so there's gonna be less space." tara said, while you two got up the metal stairs. this is what you meant when you said ethan was annoying, he probaby didn't even think of the consequences before busting that couch, he probably did it on purpose, you said to yourself. the truth was, you were absolutely correct, ethan would do absolutely anything to get closer to you, he even convinced sam to bring danny, the guy she'd been eye fucking since they got there. "so an extra person minus one couch? nice" you said, sarcasticly. when you two reached ethan and chad's dorm almost everyone was already there, mindy was choosing in detail the movie you were going to be watching while anika was sitting in her lap. chad was making more popcorn, sam and danny were at the verge of making out in the sofa and of course ethan. he gave you a disgusted look and you sarcasticly smiled in response. "oh hey guys!" chad said, with his mouth full of popcorn, he lifted up from his seat and gave you both a hug, you saw ethan looking away annoyed when chad hugged you. "mindy is just choosing the movie but, come get comfortable" chad said, motioning us to go seat in the couch. chad sat with tara and i choose a more isolated part of the couch, away from ethan. a few minutes into the movie when by and everyone started to get comfortable, except ethan of course, he just had to tell everyone to move. because of that, you had to get out of your seat. it was all going as ethan had planned. you got up and had the horrible realisation that, sam was in danny's lap, tara was in chad's, anika was in mindy's, meaning the only spot available was of course, on ethan's lap. "you've got to be kidding me." you said, insanely annoyed."come on Y/N i won't bite." he said, almost teasingly. "there's no way im sitting there" i said pointing to ethan's lap "i don't know Y/N you might like it" tara said winking at you, knowing you absolutely hated ethan. "move out of the way im trying to watch the fucking movie! just sit on ethan's lap, its not that deep" said mindy, clearly drunk. "fine" you said, having enough of the argument. you seat at ethan's lap uncomfortably, you wer for sure going to get made fun of over this. you sat on the edge of ethan's lap, at his knees. it didn't take long before you were grabbed by your waist by ethan's hands, pulling you closer to him. you were now sitting directly at his lap, your pussy covered by your soaking wet panties ached for touch, you whimpered silently, but loud enough for ethan's ears to hear, he smirked at the tought of the sound he were going to hear if he fucked you, how you would whimper in his ear only for him to hear. "some of us are trying to watch the movie" ethan whispered in your ear, sending electric waves all the way to your pussy. you rolled your eyes in response.

the movie was long gone by now, so were the group. everyone was sleeping or passed out, only you and ethan weren't. before completely passing out, mindy turned the air conditioner to the max volume, making you shiver. "are you cold?" ethan said, porpusedly whispering in your ear, he knew the effect that had on you."im fine" you said, half annoyed and the other half wishing he would kiss you. ethan grabbed a blanket from anika's lap, covering you both. "i said i was fine" you said turning to face him. "who said the blanket is for warming you up?" ethan said grabbing you into a heated kiss. you were now straddling his lap facing you, he pulled you closer to him. "i hate you" you whispered while making out, "so you're saying your not wet?" ethan whispered, you couldn't answer it, because it was true, you were wet. you started to move your hips in desperate need of friction. ethan placed his hand on your soaking wet panties, to confirm his superstition. "dirty, dirty girl, being all wet for your enemies dick." ethan said teasing you, after seeing that you were in fact wet. "i better give you what you want, right pretty girl?" he said, you could only nod. "take that fucking panties and skirt off" ethan ordered you, you followed his order, pulling your skirt up and taking your panties off. he slowly puled his pants and boxers down touching and rubbing your aching clit on purpose along the way. you lined your pussy with his cock lowering you down. slowly you got used to his size. you expected him to be big but he was way bigger than you'd ever expected. after you got used to his size you started to go up and down on his cock. ethan trowed his head back, the feeling of your tight pussy squeezing the life out of him was just too mush for him. ethan noticed that chad had awoken, and he was watching you two, for a while as it seemed by the look of his face. "atta boy" chad mouthed to him. "you tell anyone about this your dead, you hear me? now let me fuck the girl ive been fantasying for months, would you?" ethan mouthed back. "yeah, yeah" chad mouthed, drifting off to sleep shortly after. you started whimpering softly, just as ethan imagined you'd do. after a while you got tired, it was almost 4 am at this point. "ethan please move for me, i need you" you said, after resting on his cock. "for sure you don't hate me now huh?" he said, moving his hips making you jump. "begging for your enemies cock" ethan said, only making you hornier "im cumming" you said, at the verge of an orgasm "cum on my fucking cock slut" he said, you moaned his name releasing yourself. "do you really hate me?" he said "well your cock is inside me so..." you said, bitting your lip.

#ethan landry #ethan landry smut #jack champion smut #jack champion #loren campbell

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fantasticallyfruity4 · 1 year

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You know how people have started telling their kids “if you get lost go find a goth/punk person” bc (rightfully so) like this wild cultural shift has led to us being seen as safe, trustworthy responsible ppl?

Okay

Well

It got me thinking about punk Steve (again. Of corse) and this being a single dad! Eddie steddie meet cute.

I don’t know what’s funnier. Eddie telling little Max and Dustin that if they get lost they should look for someone who looks like him/his friends, someone goth/punk/metal. Or his kids doing it on their own volition. Bc the housewives with their little strollers always give their dad dirty looks and mean sneers in the grocery store but the people who look like their dad and his friends are always nice to him.

However it goes, one day Steve’s at the super market and he feels a small hand tug on the bottom of his battle jacket and a small voice say “excuse me mister?”

And he looks down and this little pippy long stockings kid is looking up at him with a wobbly lip and tears in her eyes and he’s like instantly on alarm and panicked.

“Hey friend, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Where’s your mom?”

“I got lost and I can’t find my daddy and my brother”

“Hey, that’s okay, we’ll find them together. Insta gonna be okay. What do they look like?”

“Uuuh. My daddy looks like you. But with more hair”. And Steve snorts a laugh because yup, that makes sense. Usually parents tell their kids to stay a million miles away from him at all times. Corse this kid is a punks baby. “What’s your bother look like? He got hair like you? What’s his name?”

“Dustin. He’s got brown hair and a big dumb hat”.

Steve snorts. “Think your funny?”

And the little girl giggles. Cool. Good. Mission accomplished.

“So we’re looking for dad and Dustin. Dustin’s got a big dumb hat and dads wearing a jacket like me, yeah?” And she nods. Cool. Okay that’s easy to find. “And what’s your name?” “I’m max”. “That’s a cool name max. I’m steve”

And so Steve and the little girl make a couple laps around the grocery store calling out for Dustin, and finally, finally, they hear panting and squeaking rubber and “max! Oh my god max! You scared the crap out of me!” And this- oh. This gorgeous metal head is running up to the girl and pulling her into his arms, mumbling a string of “don’t scare me like that again” and “I’m sorry baby I’m so sorry baby” and “I was worried sick”.

Sure enough there’s a little kid, bout the same height as max in a big dumb hat next to him.

Metal head dilf finally puts max down whose now hugging dustin who looks just as distraught at their dad was, and the metal head finally takes Steve in.

A glint catches in his eyes.

“You find this nice man to help you?” He asks. And she nods.

“Oh man, thank you so much I’m so sorry for the trouble” he apologizes. Steve just chuckles. “Hey it’s okay, I’m just glad we found you guys. Was getting worried for a few there. I’m Steve” Eddie takes the hand Steve extended. “I’m Eddie, I swear to god I don’t usually loose my kids” and steve laughs. “Hey, it happens to everyone, don’t sweat it. She’s okay, you’re okay, everything’s alright, yeah?”

“I still feel so horrible for the trouble. Is there anything I can do? Please let me atleats buy you a coffee”

Steve looks at his watch. He wishes he could. “I’ve gotta get to work, im really sorry, im already cutting it close since, you know” “oh, oh my god im so so sorry”

Listen. Listen. Steve’s no saint. And there is clearly a lack of a wedding band on this guys hand and 99% of the time if a kid is at a grocery store it’s with their mom. And some of those patches-

Steve’s gotta try.

“Hey, I really have to jet but um, here’s my number. Make good on that coffee some other time?”

“Yeah, yeah absolutely! Absolutely. Thank you, so much again. You’re a lifesaver Steve” Eddie smiles taking the small paper Steve just wrote his number on. (A cocktail napkin from a gay club in indie he just happened to have in his pocket, a god ordained way of making sure they were both on the same page.

#punk Steve #steddie #punk Steve harrington #single dad eddie munson

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andreabandrea · 14 days

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i think all the time about how hard it is to be a kid even in the best case scenarios. like yeah as a kid you have very few responsibilities and youre innocent etc but i think the thing is that adults (at least in the USA) largely do not consider you to be a human.

i remember when i was a kid, my parents were nice to me and supportive and so on-- i didnt have a bad childhood. but there were times where my dad would just take things from me, or interrupt me on the computer/tv, not because i had exceeded screen time or anything but just because "im the dad and im more important so i can do what i want". i remember how powerless i felt when adults would shout at me, especially if it was over something i didnt understand and/or hadnt been taught.

i remember adults laughing in my face sometimes when i was crying or upset, and i think about this when i see those 'toddler/kid freakout' tiktok videos mocking a child's reaction, even if it is for something "stupid" like they dropped their candy or whatever.

even the most well-meaning adults will often write off your pain and negative emotions as 'overreactions', and this goes triple if youre neurodivergent. i had pneumonia as a child and my doctor thought i was just being dramatic.

your input on things is largely seen as worthless. if your parents want to travel the country in a van, but you want to go to school and have friends and have your own bedroom, they'll just pack you up and take you in that van because you're the child and you're their property. i think about this when i see those 'van life' families, and i think about this as i'm reading the Wavewalker book about the girl who was forced to live on her parents' boat with little to no schooling for 10 years.

if your parents spank you and hit you, largely thats seen as their "choice" as parents, no matter how many studies tell them it traumatizes children. and youre dependent on the adults around you and if those adults suck, or if youre in a bad situation, you have very little to no ability to change that and you just have to endure.

and thats what drives me insane about desantis is that we see more and more rhetoric like "the rights of parents" and "protecting children" but these kids are being told that they do not have rights. its as if people truly believe parents deserve to know everything, even if the child doesnt feel safe telling them. people think parents deserve to control their kids' every choice and every move. but when it comes to protecting kids from gun violence and protecting gay/trans kids and especially kids of color, republicans could not give less of a shit. hell, even the grand majority of democrats barely care.

yes, i get it. parenting is unimaginably hard. the nuclear family is unsustainable especially in today's double-income-not-even-making-rent economy. the world is fucked up. sometimes kids are shitty and it might hurt you as an adult. but kids are not evil, and kids are not adults who are acting with fully developed brains and social skills and empathy and so on and its important to keep that in mind.

on the chance that anyone wants to reply with "well i hate kids :/" look. you dont have to be a parent. but at least be kind to children in your life. let the kid in the park ramble to you about skibidi toilet or fucking whatever. you do owe people kindness, especially children

#bandrea blabbers

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seeingivy · 1 year

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fearless

satoru gojo x f!reader

in which satoru makes you a little more fearless

**part of my satoru as taylor swift songs series

an: no one will stop me from writing satoru one shots based on taylor swift songs. no one.

You watch the manager get in her car, waving her goodbye as you sit on the bench. You pull out your phone, shooting fast text messages to all of your friends. It was time for this godforsaken night to be over.

satoru. favor pls pls pls.

beg :P

i was on a date but i got stood up. i need a ride back home and shoko has night shift :0

alsoooo….the restaurant closed and i’m kinda standing alone in the rain :(

wtf. address. omw now.

faster. im freezing to death as you speak.

stfu.

You can feel the rain coming down harder as time goes on and you huddle under the wall of the building. You’re trying to avoid getting wet or contracting hypothermia in the twenty minutes it will take Satoru to get here.

The rain is…surprisingly refreshing. You can see puddles forming in the divots of the pavement, the glow of the sign overhead reflecting in them. The air smells clean, the streetlights making the entire road glow. If your date had actually showed up, it could make for a very special memory, like the Notebook or the Titanic. You could walk in the rain, hand in hand getting drenched and jumping in the puddles.

See. This was your problem. You curse your sweet little romantic heart in moments like this. It would kill you one day. The real world is not like your romance novels. Or your favorite movies. Or the songs you love to listen to.

In the real world, people don’t respond to your texts, they leave you stranded at a restaurant in the middle of a god damn monsoon. People don’t ask you on dates, or spill coffee on you in restaurants, or stay in love with you after years of dating.

You shake your head, dispelling the thoughts from your mind. You’re not going to think about that tonight.

You see a car pull into the parking lot and recognize it immediately. The black car has music blaring from it, the front bumper entirely gone. When you told Satoru he needed to get his driving under control since he’s driving two kids around all the time, all he said was “hot girls can’t park” in response.

Satoru smacks the door shut, an umbrella in his hand. You watch him run over, noting that he was in a fancier outfit than usual. He pulls you under the umbrella, the two of you standing closely underneath it.

“Well, there’s hardly a point for that now.” you say, looking up at the umbrella.

“You could have checked the weather forecast and kept an umbrella with you.”

“Victim blaming is a horrible look on you, Satoru Gojo.”

He laughs, rolling his eyes as he secures his arm around you, leading you back to the car.

“I’m glad to see your horrible night has done nothing to kill your attitude problem.”

You ignore the comment, ducking into the car. It’s nice and toasty, the heater being cranked to the highest setting. Satoru runs to the other side, jumping into the car as well. He backs out of the parking lot, the two of you heading home. The two of you drive in silence for some time, the only sound being Satoru’s music blasting from the stereo.

“So…you were on a date?”

“Well, he didn’t come. So no, I wasn’t on a date.”

“Shut up. You’re so annoying.”

You smile, putting your hands under your thighs to warm them.

“But actually. You’re dating again, Y/N?”

“Trying to. Figured it was time to get back out there and all.” you whisper, the car enveloping in silence again. Your head mulls over the events of the night again.

You got ready. You took out your nice curling iron, spent an hour on your makeup, and took out your best party dress. All to sit in the restaurant eating the free bread and eating dinner alone.

“Sometimes, I think I expect too much. I’m too shy to love for real.”

“What do you mean, Y/N?”

“I don’t know. I’m not making any sense.”

“Tell me what comes to mind. I’ll piece it together, yeah?”

You nod, feeling the blood pulsating in your neck.

“I just…want love so bad. The real kind. Like throwing pebbles at the window, stereo over your head, running to the airport, dancing in the rain, kind of love. But, I’d never really do that. I’m too scared to say I want that and too much of a coward to actually do it myself. I just wish someone would come around who wanted to do it all with me.”

Satoru is quiet, his hands still placed on the steering wheel. He doesn’t respond, his jaw clenched.

“Nevermind. I’m being silly, Satoru.”

At the sound of your dismissance, he stops the car, pulling it over on the side of the road. You turn your head, confused on why he was stopping in front of a Walgreens that was already closed.

“Satoru. Why are you stopping?”

He looks over, his eyes peering into yours. His hand reaches for the stereo, turning the volume all the way up. You’re about to protest but he jumps out of the car before you can. He’s standing outside in the pouring rain, getting drenched. You scoot over to his seat, rolling the window down to talk to him.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” you nearly scream, the sound of the rain and the wind obscenely loud.

“Get out of the car, Y/N!”

“It’s pouring. And my clothes will get wet.”

He leans over the side of the car, his veiny hands resting on the window you opened. You look down, the water tracking into the side of his car. You look back up, his eyes boring into yours. You’re unable to place the look in his eyes.

“Get out. I’m not asking. I want to dance with you, right here and right now.”

He pushes off the car and extends his hand out, the rain pouring down on him. His hair is a matted mess, his shirt sticking to his torso. Fuck it. You peel off your jacket before joining him in the rain.

The drops are cold against your bare shoulders, the curls you spent hours doing wilting in the rain. You put your hand in his and smile, the water dripping down both of your faces. He spins you around, holding you against his chest.

He hands you his phone, placing his head on your shoulder to look at the screen with you.

“Pick the song, peaches.”

You turn your head, his lips a few inches from yours.

“Peaches?”

“Your shampoo. It smells like peaches.”

You nod, turning back to scroll through his phone. You can feel his arms snaking around your waist, holding you tight against his back. You pick the first song you can find - Lover by Taylor Swift - and press the button.

You can hear the opening notes start to blare out of his car. Satoru snatches his phone back from your fingers and spins you back around to face him. His hands readjust to interlock with yours. The two of you take turns spinning each other around and swaying in the rain, the song whistling in the back. Satoru tries to dip you and horribly fails, the two of you nearly tumbling onto the pavement.

“Okay, maybe I’m not the best at dancing, but the thought is still there.”

You laugh, your cheeks sore from smiling so hard. You slow down your swaying and press yourself against Satoru, digging your face into the crook of his neck. You feel like your heart is about to burst. You could die right here, in Satoru Gojo’s arms. You feel him slow down at the contact, his hands pressing you even closer into him.

The two of you sway in silence, enveloped in each other's embrace for what feels like a long time, before you break apart to actually go home. You move first, murmuring how Tsumiki and Megumi were probably worried sick. He responds that they could care less but heads back to the car nonetheless.

You settle back into the car, the two of you tracking rain all over his seats. As he backs out, he interlocks his fingers with yours, squeezing your fingers twice before driving on. You lean your head against his shoulder, his minty smell overwhelming your nose.

When he pulls into your driveway, the two of you get out, the rain finally stopping. There are puddles in the pavement as you make your way up the driveway, you and Satoru stomping in them on your way up. You can’t tell if you’re trembling from the cold or from his hand in yours.

He stops at your porch, turning back over to face you.

“Did you want to come in? I can find a change of clothes.” you whisper, breaking the silence.

He shakes his head, grinning at you.

“Kids are waiting at home with Nanami. I’m sure he’s already pissed at how long I’ve been gone.”

You smile, nodding at his words. His hair is damp now, lying messily against the top of his forehead. You resist the urge to reach up and touch it.

You’re not sure what it is, maybe something in the air but…you want to kiss him. You want to kiss Satoru Gojo, right here right now. Drenched from the rain, freezing cold, on your dingy ass porch.

You ignore the shaking in your hands and swing your hands around his neck, your faces inches away from each other. You can see the hesitance in his eyes, the confusion at what you were doing.

You close your eyes and lean forward, sincerely hoping he won’t reject you. And just like you wished, he didn’t. His plush lips press against yours, his hands snaking around you to pull you closer. He tastes sweet, the mint you were smelling earlier present on his lips. He breaks apart, pressing soft kisses all over your face - the side of your cheek, the bridge of your nose, the top of your forehead.

You’re interrupted by Satoru’s phone ringing, Nanami’s contact flashing against the screen. Before Satoru can speak, you shake your head, telling him to head home. He presses another peck to your lips before leaving.

You lock the door behind you, flicking on the lights as you head up to your room. As you peel out of your soaked dress, you hear a light knocking against your window.

You look down to find Satoru in your lawn, throwing pebbles at your window. You swing it open, glaring down at him.

“You’re going to break my window, idiot.”

“You wanted this!”

“What are you doing?”

“Dancing in the rain, pebbles on your window, stereo of your head, running to the airport kind of love. I’m the person who wants to do it with you!”

You pause, taking in his words. You can feel your heart pounding against your chest, realizing what was happening. This idiot was going to be the death of you.

You throw a shirt on quickly and run back down the stairs, to where Satoru was still standing outside. When you reach him, you grab him by the end of his collar, pulling him down to kiss him again. He freezes at the contact at first before smiling against your mouth and returning your affections.

The two of you break apart, again, both of you laughing. He rests his forehead against yours, smiling down at you.

“God.”

“What, Satoru?”

“For someone who is supposedly a coward, you’re feeling bold today.”

You pause.

“It’s you. You make me fearless.”

You feel him take your face into his hands, his eyes filled with warmth as he looks down at you.

“Fearless enough to stand in your lawn with no pants on?”

You smack the side of his shoulder, before running back into your house. He joins you back at the door, reminding you that he won’t treat you to the best second date ever if you parade in front of your neighbors half naked again. You smack him one more time for good measure, before pressing a kiss to his cheek to say goodbye.

the satoru as taylor swift series masterlist

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