For the soft & sweet starters if you’re interested!: “keep it. It looks better on you.” For Madeleine x Morgan?

This got away from me sghdjk

soft & sweet sentence starters prompts Fandom: The Wayhaven Chronicles Word count: ~1.4k

Madeleine has spent the last four hours working on a new project. The noise of her sewing machine winding new bobbins fills the room, a comforting sound to her ears that now feels like the soundtrack of her own life. Although it’s not helping with the headache she currently has.

A loud gasp leaves her mouth as she lays out the stencil she just cut on her sewing table. She had been so focused on trying to get that new pattern right that she did not realize she had been using the wrong measurements all along. She frantically flips through her notebook, looking for her measurements sheets, berating herself for making such a newbie mistake, until her eyes finally land on the pages she is looking for.

There, on the right page, scribbled in her neat handwriting, are her own measurements that she updated not long ago and, next to them, the source of her confusion: the ones she recently took of Morgan. 

Maddie is quick to put the blame of her mistake on the headache because, putting it on the fact that she wasn’t paying attention, would mean having to admit that Morgan occupies her every waking thought. So the headache is the perfect culprit for her mistake. 

For a moment, she considers throwing away the stencil and starting it all anew, but she doesn’t want to bother with making a new one tonight. Her thoughts start to wander before she can stop them.

Her fingers trace the pattern of the fabric laid across her sewing table as her intentions start to shift. She is wondering if this is a good idea when her gaze falls on the selection of fabric rolls leaning against the wall. The plain burgundy one catches her eye and she lets her mind wander farther away with the idea.

She thinks about how dazzling she looks in that color. How the fabric would drape over her body. How much the v-shaped neckline would reveal. Heat rushes to her face and sparks prickle across her skin at the thought of Morgan in that shirt. She shakes her head, chasing away the lustful thoughts.

“Oh, what you do to me…” She whispers, marching across the room to grab the roll of fabric and bring it back to her sewing table.

She discards the patterned one currently spread out on it and sets to work. The whisper of suggestive thoughts ever present in the back of her mind as she starts pinning the stencil to the fabric.

***

“What’s that?” Morgan asks immediately upon entering Maddie’s apartment. Maddie doesn’t need to turn around to know that she’s referring to the carefully folded shirt laying in plain sight on her table.

“Oh, just a shirt I made for myself-” Madeleine says, closing her front door before heading for the kitchen, “-but it doesn’t fit.” She doesn’t know if Morgan can tell that she is lying through her teeth right now, she probably can, but Maddie doesn’t take her eyes off the cup of tea she’s making to find out.

“So what are you going to do with it?”

“I don’t know…” She knows. She knows exactly what she wants to do with it, she just hasn’t come up with a good way to ask yet.

“Can I try it?”

Her spoon drops in the cup at the words, splashing tea all over the counter and on her dress. Her mouth agape, she finally looks up at Morgan who is standing next to the dining table, holding the shirt before her with her arms stretched.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” She asks looking up from above the shirt.

“You want to try it?”

“The color looks nice.” Morgan shrugs. “So, can I?”

“Yes!” Madeleine tries to quench the excitement down a little. “You can.” She allows, as if finally seeing Morgan in that poet shirt isn’t the thing she has been longing for all morning.

Without any warning, Morgan strips out of her top and sends it flying across the room where it lands on the sofa. She keeps her eyes purposely locked on Maddie’s when doing it, a smug smile tugging at her lips.

“Getting an eyeful, sweetheart?” She teases.

That’s all it takes for Madeleine to turn a bright shade of red. She turns away, desperately trying to hide her embarrassment, but it’s so obvious in the way she fumbles with her next words.

“I- That’s- You could have warned me!”

Morgan’s laugh echoes in the room and Maddie basks in it.She considers making a fool of herself again just to hear more of it.

She hears the swifting on the fabric as Morgan slips the shirt on and she can’t help her heart from drumming in her chest. She thinks it’s going to burst with expectation, when Morgan ends her suffering. 

“You can turn around, sweetheart.”

She sucks in a deep breath before turning on her heels.

There she is, standing in front of her, in the shirt she sewed and she looks even better than Madeleine could have imagined.

“So, how do I look?” Morgan asks, not looking up as she tucks the shirt in her high-waisted jeans.

She wants to tell her that she looks stunning, bewitching even, but her response doesn’t come as every word she can think of feels like the utmost understatement. Madeleine has always prided herself in being eloquent and yet, right in this instant, she is rendered speechless by the sight before her because every word she can think of feels like it isn’t enough to describe Morgan. Except for one.

She looks like a goddess.

The word echoes in her mind until it occupies her every thought and she wonders if this is how artists felt when they chose the Gods as muses. If this wave of emotions overwhelming her is how sculptors felt when molding their bodies in stone? If the acute perception of the scene captivating every of her senses is how painters felt when laying their appearance on canvases? If this intimate quiet as the world shifts beneath her feet is how writers felt when putting their words on paper?

“So, judging by your reaction, I’m guessing I look good.”

Morgan’s words take her out of her trance and she suddenly becomes very aware of how body is betraying her. She feels the scorching heat in her cheeks, which are probably a bright shade of red. She notices the goosebumps covering every inch of her skin. But it’s her knees threatening to buckle under the weight of her feelings for the vampire that catches her off-guard the most.

“You do.” Is all she manages to mutter.

“That’s all you have to say?” Morgan teases her. “You’re usually way more talkative than that.”

“What do you want me to say?” The words sound harsher than she meant and she instantly feels guilty about it. “You look-” She bites the words back.

“Say it, sweetheart. Your body has been screaming it for the past minutes, there’s no use hiding your thoughts from me.”

“You look like a goddess.” The words are barely more than a whisper, but she knows Morgan heard them perfectly.

“Is that really what you think?” There’s a hint of vulnerability in the words that makes Maddie take a step forward.

She nods. She wants to tell her that her smile makes her heart flutter every time she gets to see it. That her freckles look like constellations shining in the night sky. That burgundy became her favorite color the instant she saw her in it. She wants to tell her that she’s the most beautiful person she has ever laid eyes on. But she doesn’t because describing deities doesn’t do them justice.

There’s a moment of silence during which none of them move.

Madeleine is the first one to break it as she walks up to Morgan who pulls her closer by the waist the instant she is within reach. She has to tiptoe to press a kiss on the vampire’s cheek. And one more. Two. Three. She’s going for a fourth one when Morgan gets tired of it and captures her lips in a kiss. Soft and tender. That leaves Madeleine breathless.

“So, what are you going to do with this?” Morgan asks, parting away.

“You should keep it.” The words spill out of her mouth before she can stop them. “It looks better on you anyway.” Madeleine says as if gifting it to Morgan has been her intention, as if she hadn’t altered the pattern last minute to help with Morgan’s eventual discomfort with the ruffles. As if the shirt shouldn’t be at least 4 sizes bigger if she had really made it for her.

“You’re a terrible liar, sweetheart.” Morgan whispers in her ear.

🎶 last christmas, i gave you my heart… but the very next day, i forgot to check tumblr anons again 🎶

dyamond dearest, hello! ✨ i hope this week has been a little nicer to you than the last one was, and that you’ve found a little time for leisure amongst the busier bits. this season is always more go go go than ho ho ho, i find. i have so much shopping to do and so little time to entertain it, so know that i feel your pain & am cheering you on from the sidelines. 🥲🫶 i have been mulling over my answers to this week’s questions for the past few hours and i am still not 100% settled on what i’d ask each of the boys… but since you were lovely enough to ask for my responses, i shall do my very best to come up with ~ something ~! 🤍

1. asking for harry’s hand in platonic crime is a super smart way to go, for sure! kinda like asking a genie for more wishes… except with the promise of nights spent leisurely watching movies together and gossiping about everything and nothing 😌 as somebody who compares their entire life to incredibly niche lyrics, i think i’d ask both the boys “if your life was a movie, what three songs would make up the soundtrack to it so far?” and see how their answers compared. there’s something so charming about hearing artists gush about other artists, you know? it’s a reminder that they’re just as dorky as we are. harry’s music taste is so eclectic that i imagine his would be wild dhfgf!

2. i can totally understand why you’d find your home show a more soothing experience than msg – though i’m equally glad you got to live through a moment in spitstory (i groaned at that, too 😌🫶). i actually saw harry for the first (and eighth 🥲) time this summer! i was supposed to see him during his first solo tour but my circumstances got a bit messy and i couldn’t make it. so, this time around i had a bit of a silly spending spree and took myself on a tour of the uk, amsterdam and paris! i also found some of my smaller shows to be my favourites. wembley was immense, but dublin stands out as one of the most magical. i have a really distinct memory of blubbering to sott from the stalls and enjoying all of the lights. it was nice to experience it from further afield for a change, to see everybody dancing and the sun setting. seeing louis in may sounds like a dream come true! i look forward to checking in and seeing your reactions! he’s great live, you’ll have a BLAST. 🕺🎶

3. well, it seems we are very similar! 😌 i studied english literature at university, so reading is one of my greatest hobbies too. bunny has been on my tbr for yonks, though i’m yet to pick it up! did you enjoy it? i just picked up persephone station by stina leicht which was a shameless cover buy… but book riot’s review says “feminist and full of dynamic characters you’ll love” and there’s a badass looking android on the front of it, so i have high hopes! 📖 some other hobbies of mine include: writing poetry, reading copious amounts of fanfic, frequenting the cinema & starting but not finishing more projects than i can count dgdgff. ✨

i must admit that it has taken everything (e v e r y t h i n g) in me not to cheat the system and ask google for help answering your riddle dhdgf. 🥲 i am stumped and need the answer pronto! my initial thought was that it may be a play on words, but iiiiii am no closer to solving it! i’m going to kick myself, aren’t i?

this week’s questions are simply follow up ones from today’s chit chat, if you’d like to answer them! if not, feel free to just ramble to me about your day. there’s never any obligation for an answer as long and laborious as the asks i’ve been sending dhdgf. 🥲

1. if your life was a movie, what song/s would be on the soundtrack?

2. what was your favourite harry fit of love on tour ‘22?

3. is there a louis song that you’re particularly excited to hear live for the first time? (barring holding on to heartache, because i know that’s one of your favourites of all time 😌)

– until next time, your festive friend. 🎄🤍

HELLOOOOOO holiday bestie!!!

this week has definitely been so much nicer, leisure is another story but i am feeling much better than last time. also — i have to do some last minute gifts today after work so i am sooooo stressed about it but honestly it’s my own fault agsjdhsj. i’m cheering for you as well! always <3

literally thats the main goal of hanging out w harry, i just literally wanna be his best friend and that’s all :’) i just know they both would have the best answers and they’d be so fitting for each of them 🥹

EIGHT TIMESSSS SO JELLY but that sounds so amazing omg!!! i always wanted to go to a european show, and all those places sound so lovely! sott w all the lights I AM JEALOUSSSS that sounds like magic. i am so excited to see louis i just know it’ll be LIFE CHANGINGGG

bunny was interesting! it was …. complicated, but very interesting agsjdhsj i feel like that’s not selling it very well 😭. that book sounds bangin tho !! FELT THAT ABOUT STARTING SO MANY PROJECTS SGSJDHSJ I AM SUCH A MESS ABOUT IT. i havent read fanfic in EONS i need some good recs

the answer was — a ton! it is kinda a play on words, at least i think? hope you’re not kicking yourself agsjdhsjs

now to answer your questions!

1. I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS SO MUCH. well kinda. since i was/am an avid lover of skam, i used to think about what songs would be on my skam season, and i’ll give 5 to narrow it down. have you found what you’re looking for? by ashton irwin, just like you by annika rose, buzzkill by baby queen, unlovable by delacey, and pretty lips by winehouse! hard to narrow it but hey sgskdhd i tried

2. OOOOOOO EXCELLENT QUESTION. also so very hard tbh, anything w the hiddies™️ out is a fave afsjdhdjs BUT. i will say mex city night 2, austin 10/3, and manchester night two, super honorable mentions to new york night 6 and 7 (seven was mine so it’s gotta get chosen!), toronto night one, and london night one. what are yourssss !!

3. CHICAGOOOOOO. it just gives me a vision of everyone having their lights up and singing along i hope there are fan projects or somethin bc i can just . i have a vision for it

hmmm i should ask you some questions, like an uno reverse kind of move.

1. what is a show/movie you wish you could experience for the first time again?

2. what is, in your opinion, one of the best albums of all time?

3. if you were an animal, what animal would you want to be?

until next time indeed! 🤍 missing you already

👀👀👀

via michael stein's instagram stories / creds to hawkinavclub / arkov_ for vids

sugar sweet

richie tozier x fem reader

category: fluff, fluff, literally just fluff

word count: 3,3k

content warnings: swearing, stealing, slight nsfw (sexual innuendos... bc it’s richie tozier), a driving scene written by a bitch who can't drive, overbearing fluff, sonia

a/n: hello here’s a lil soft fic i wrote in a hyper state today <3 i had ‘beverly’ by ben wallfisch from the it 2017 soundtrack stuck in my head while i wrote the ending so !! enjoy

🎡

"sweetheart, if you don't put your head back in, i'm afraid i'm gonna have to marie antoinette you."

you laughed dismissively at his empty threat, feeling a grin take over. you let the wind crash against your face and through your hair, the scent of sea salt softly filling your nose. if richie thought that you were going to give this feeling up, oh, was he wrong.

despite what he was saying, the sight of morning sunlight streaking through your flying hair and your torso poking out the passengers' window was one richie wished he could get used to. despite his nagging for the past half hour, ranting about the dangers of vehicular manslaughter and mishaps, he couldn't help but beam at your laughter. 

he almost hit himself in the head for getting all worked up about safety like eddie always did, but it was something he found himself doing often with you. keeping you safe and sound was one of the few things that kept him from staying up all night. besides, you guys were going to see eddie and the rest of the losers in a bit anyways. the designated role of the pedantic worrier would soon be shrugged off richie's shoulders.

keeping one hand on the wheel, richie’s free hand never left the edge of your knee, not once in the hour-long drive. no matter how far you reached your body out his car's window, his fingers stayed glued around you. you never said anything about the gesture apart from placing your hand over his. being his was something you never got used to, but you were far from complaining.

"richierichierichie i think we're here!" you exclaim, ducking your head back inside the car.

"you sure, dummy? the massive ferris wheel and circus tent means we're close to the carnival?"

your hand leaves his to go shove his temple, "fuck off, rich."

"i know i know, you're really excited," he taps your knee, "so am i."

he pulls into the parking lot, expertly navigating his way through the crowded area before finding a space. an empty space which was coincidentally beside a sketchy beat-up minivan painted with "URIS," in fat letters.

richie laughs, "what are the fucking odds.”

his hand moves from the skin on your knee to the back of your seat, his body shifting to face the rear. you subtly eye your boyfriend sitting in the driver's seat and tried not to physically express any of the thoughts firing in your mind right then. dear god, did he look good today. you end up shamelessly staring at him as he strains his neck to squeeze his way through tight space. his knuckles turn to this ghostly shade of white when he flexed them against the wheel, his rings glinting under the sunlight.

once he finally put the car in park and shifted his weight back to you, he catches your gaze. throwing a wink, he pulls out the keys and stuffs his belongings into his jean pockets. 

you’re sure he has zero clue about the effect any of this had on you. sure, he was your boyfriend but sometimes you found yourself feeling scared at how much you liked him. this boy has you wrapped around his finger and he barely knows half of it.

you reach over and run your fingers through his unruly hair a couple more times, enjoying the way the curls bounce back. “you look so good, rich.”

he rolls his eyes at your remark, but you don’t miss the way a small blush reaches tips of his ears. “enjoy it while it lasts, i can’t let the guards recognise me again.” 

“i still can’t believe you got fired and banned on the same day, rich. that’s genuinely so impressive, you know that?"

richie rolls his eyes but you see the hint of a grin on his face, “you going soft on me, sweets?”

“could never.” you ruffle his hair, letting your nails glide along his scalp and you laugh at the way his head naturally tips back. richie had no clue why the feeling of your hands in his hair that made him short-circuit, but he wasn’t complaining.

“do we really have to go see them...” richie groans, grabbing your hand and placing it back onto his head when you pulled away.

“richard tozier. i did not pester you to drive us an hour away just so you could fold at me playing with your hair.”

he side-eyes you. “why did i agree to this again?”

“because every day for the last month you wouldn’t shut up about ‘taking eddie’s slushee v-”

“ed’s slushee virginity, riiiight,” he breaks out in a smile, “jesus, can you believe sonia never let him near one in his entire life?”

you tug his fringe towards you and the rest of his head followed, “well, now that he’s all alone there, someone’s got to be there to guide him through his first time, right?” 

he faux-pouts back at you, the mischievous glint in his eye sparkling brighter. “fine.”

finally, you let go of his hair and he pecks a kiss against your cheek before putting on his sunglasses and tipping his cap further down his face. opening his car door, you sit there dumbfounded as you watch the 6'2 disguised dork clamber out of his side with your tote bag on his shoulder.

he glances back, offering a hand as if you were going to climb out on his side as well, “c’mon, we don’t have all day.” and richie made sure you knew that by dragging you through the park, evading the guards left and right in under a minute. it was only so long before you spotted a group of idiots wandering aimlessly. bev’s bright red hair was the instant identifier, and watching this bill’s lanky frame grab a fistful of stan’s curls to yank it about sealed the deal. 

“stanley, darling,” richie yelled through the crowd, “if you wanted someone to pull your hair that badly you could’ve asked me nicely.”  “shut the fuck up, trashmouth!” stan yelled back. “wait. rich?”

you walk over and sling your arm around bev, “you guys haven’t been waiting long, have you?”  she grins at the sight of you, “no, but if i have to hear mike argue one more time that the high striker is apparently ‘broken’ i’m going to kill somebody.”

“do me a favour and kill me, bev!” stan’s voice cuts through, followed by a shriek when richie too grabs a handful of his hair. 

bev’s hand leaves yours to go smack both boys upside the head. “y’all better stop acting like children before i get fucking fired. i’m not going out like dumbass richie here did.” she eyes the rest of them, who all halt in their tracks.

“yes, ma’am,” the chorus sighed.

🎡

"ed's, i swear on your mother's smokin’ bod that blue is the. best. flavour. there's literally nothing wrong with it."

"you just called blue a flavour, richie-”

"because it can be. it doesn’t matter if blue and red colouring are the same, you can feel the difference.”

"no, i really can't. i don't understand how the colour blue could possibly be-"

richie groans, "fine, eat your mommy's packed lunch like the big boy you are." he teasingly starts to wave his cup in front of eddie's eyes.

"quit it, rich. if eddie doesn’t want toxins in his body, leave him be." ben interjects before sipping his own neon drink.

the boys huddled together around a picnic table they had managed to snatch before the carnival’s lunch rush swept over. richie and bev used to work in the carnival last summer, the two-week period spent with one another supposedly being “worse than the devil’s asscrack.” the comment itself earned richie five slaps, one each from the boys, and a high-five from bev. that was until richie got permanently banned (which you still don’t know how) and now bev carried on by herself whenever they roll back into derry. 

currently, you and bev were on your way back from the concession stands, attempting not to spill anything. you each held at least four bags of carnival foods and drinks in your arms, bev also balancing the few candy bars she stashed under her shirt. teeter-tottering your way back to the boys, richie burst out in laughter at the sight of you struggling. 

“as graceful as a job you’re doing with that, sweets, do you want some help?” he smirks, already swinging his leg over the chair.

“nope, nothing to see here,” you groan at richie’s smug grin. “rich, i swear to god if you come near me i am going to-”

“hurt me, hit me, murder me, mmhm. i’m sure you’ll do a whole lot of damage.” he winks, swiping the bags from your arms.

“freaky.” stan muttered, churning his slushee with the straw. you grumble at richie’s endearing irritating act of heroism and plop yourself next to stan empty-handed. 

“here, you want some?” stan raises an eyebrow, offering his blue slushee towards you.

“thanks stan, but he’s got my...” you glance towards richie, half-expecting to see him distributing the snacks, only to see him aggressively nudge the slushees in eddie’s face. “you know what, i’ll take it.” 

stan scoffed, “what, you thought i was offering this from the depths of my generous heart? i thought you knew me better-"

the sound of plastic crinkling and eddie’s yelp cut through stan’s sentence. 

you look back at the sight of richie threatening to pour the ice into eddie’s hair, eddie shrieking and wildly missing punches at richie. dear god, your boyfriend was such a menace. richie and eddie never spent a day where they weren’t at eachother’s throats though, but anyone with a pair of eyes could see that they deeply loved one another. rich had that effect on people, you think. he was rarely overtly loving, but it’s not like he needed to be. you guys just knew.

ben smiles sweetly between you and your gaze on richie. “you’re staring again, y/n.”

you immediately snap out of it and go to slug ben in the shoulder. “was not.”

“was too.”

"was. not."

"was too!"

you narrow your eyes at ben who sheepishly smiles in innocence. he reaches over to grab a couple onion rings from your bag to which you lightly slap the back of his hand. he groans, trying again from another angle, “just because i pointed out your goo-goo eyes at trashmouth?”

bev snatched a couple rings from across you and threw them at ben. he chuckles gleefully at the perfect catch. “you know, he’s not wrong,” she points out.

“for the last time, i wasn’t staring,” you groan.

“not about that, genius. the way you’re absolutely whipped for that dick.” she smiles. “i mean,” you barely conceal your smirk, “the dick is pretty g-”

"not what i meant," bev sighs while the rest of them groan at your words.

“seriously though,” bill asks with genuine curiosity, “how did you even end up together? how do you even like someone that much?” bev tuts from the other side, “tread lightly there, denbrough.” 

“shut up, you know what i mean. it’s trashmouth we’re talking ’bout here.” bill grins, “it’s a mystery how someone can shut him up so quick.”

you laugh to yourself, thinking about the few times you get to see richie completely speechless. “it’s not that hard, you know?” you shrug softly at the way the losers nod. you may all pretend to hate the life out of him but he always had a special place in each of your hearts. “he cares with everything he’s got, no matter what. he’s always there for you even if you don’t want him to be. i just...i don’t think he’s been anything less than...” 

“-if you say ‘perfect’, i’m going to hit you.” stan says.

you roll your eyes at stan, “fuck off, but... but yeah. it’s so easy to love him and i honestly owe you guys an apology for being so annoyingly whipped for that dork,” you joke.

aside from the distant bickering coming from richie and eddie in their own little world, a silence hung over the six of you. it was too quiet. wondering if you said something wrong, you scan over them, only to be met with six variations of a smirk. more than confused, you chuckle nervously. “i was joking about the apology thing but if you really want-”

“you said ‘love.’” bev laughed.

“what?”

“you said ‘love,’” she repeated. “that you loved him.”

“i... of course i love him, he’s..” not trusting any more of the words coming out of your mouth, you cut yourself off and gather your thoughts.

of course you loved richie. each and every one of you loved your resident trashmouth, he was one of your best friends. the two of you were the closest of friends, an insufferable duo for years before you began dating. it might have only been a few weeks since he asked you out, but it’s not like too much changed from when you were friends. 

there was only more love, more affection, only slightly more sexual innuendos (majority of them were solely just to piss off stan). 

so of course you loved him. more than you did when you were friends. which he’s gotta know... right?

“fuck, maybe i do owe you guys an apology.” you joke.

“don’t think twice about it, this is nothing compared to him. if i took a shot for every time he went on some sort of love ramble about you, i’d be fucking dead.” bev replies, “and then he would carry on.”

you laugh, shaking your head in denial, “c’mon, he does not do that.”

“are you blind?” mike speaks up. “you’ve had him since the first day you joined us at the barrens. i can still see fourteen-year-old richie ogling you clear as day.”

you stammered at your response, tripping over your words. “mike, i think you broke her. she’s become bill,” stan teases.

you go to shove stan again and sorely miss. “anyways, my point is...” 

you avoid their eye contact and go back to churning stan’s slushee. “he has my heart, fuck, he’s got all of our hearts. like, is he an asshole? sure. does he get on my nerves every other day? definitely. will he be the death of me? probably. but i l-”

“i sure hope you’re winding up to something there, sweets.” 

you snap your head up from your dreamy rambling to see richie smirking next to you and eddie squeezing himself next to bill. you feel yourself go bright red at the realisation that he had been listening. 

“i- no. that was it.”  

“you sure? you going off about me... ‘but’...” richie pushes, quoting your words.

“richie, if you genuinely think you have redeeming qualities, i suggest some self-reflection.” stan quipped. “yeah, i was just pointing how much you bother us. no ifs, no buts,” you jokingly agree.

“mean,” richie rolls his eyes, shifting back in his seat next to you.

he’s gotta know... right? 

you wink and stick your tongue out playfully, to which richie raises an eyebrow at. he glances between the blue drink in your hand and your tongue, his gaze on your lips making you nervous. 

“now, what?” you sigh, wiping the ice from your mouth and pretending that you weren’t dying to know what was churning in that brain of his. 

“nothing,” richie shrugs smugly, “just that i’ve always wanted to know how my cock looked blue.”

the comment took you off guard, your instant blush only fuelling richie’s grin. without hesitation, you lean over with a faux-pout, an act that has richie’s eyes wide. “careful there, trashmouth,” you tease loudly. “you keep this up and you’ll see how stan’s looks blue.”

bev immediately gasps with her hand over her mouth, followed by mike’s stifled cackle as he slapped richie’s back. the rest of the group looks frankly stunned, and stan’s face is on a whole different level of red. 

richie doesn’t even look the least bit angry. his jaw is dropped slightly and he runs his hand over his jaw, trying to stop the chuckle that leaves his throat. if anything he looks proud. 

shaking his head with a smile, he slings his arm over your shoulder to pull you closer. “that’s my girl,” he grins.

“yeah, that for sure is tozier’s,” bill says.

there’s no way any of you miss the way richie’s face goes red under that comment and your heart skips a beat when he squeezes your side. when no one’s looking, you lean up and kiss by his ear, absolutely delighted by the deeper shade of red on his face. 

“darl, if you don’t stop that i’m going to go as red as stan,” he whispers into your hair. the both of you look back at the boy who’s trying to concentrate on his slushee and not the blush that’s continued to creep to his neck. “i’m actually getting concerned.”

you giggle, “shh, he’s fine.”

“no really, i give it a couple seconds before eddie pulls out his medical fanny pack,” richie says.

you look up at him as you’re tucked into his side, his arm still slung around your shoulder. his dark hair and eyelashes caught the sunlight, his blue eyes glinting as he glanced back. his lips were tipped into their signature cheeky smile, almost like a cue that he was going to say something out of hand. you felt the swell of your heart grow as he raised his eyebrows, prompting what he knew you were going to say. 

“you know, earlier...” you whisper, looking down to his hand intertwining with yours. “i just... i wanted to say that i... you know... that i-”

“i feel like i should be offended at how hard it is for you to tell me you love me, sweets,” he whispers back, clearly trying to keep a straight face.  fuck.  “oh god please, you know i-” richie shushes you, kissing the crown of your head. “it’s okay, i know.” you can feel the curve of his lips against your hair. “i love you too.”

trying to tame the aggressive blush and stupid smile that reached your face, you follow his gaze over to eddie. just like richie joked, he had this fanny pack laid on the table in front of stan. you weren’t listening to anything they were saying, but you watched the way stan was squirming from eddie, insisting he did not have heatstroke. mike stood right behind stan, pinching his cheeks and periodically wrapping his strong arms around stan to stop him from squirming. bev was leaning across ben and bill’s laps, joining in and poking her fun at eddie and you notice how bill’s hands traces figures along bev’s side. ben gazes at the group of them, chiming in every so often when stan’s quips got too violent. 

it was one of those moments you wish you could freeze. 

after a while, richie whispers into your ear. “do you think they’d even notice if we left for the ferris wheel?”

you break your eye contact from the group to gaze up at him. “nope, not at all. you think you can sneak us some tickets?” 

“please, you think i got kicked out of here for nothing?” he scoffs.

“is this how you’re going to get banned again?” you grin, poking his side, “stealing tickets for your girl?”

with a soft smile, he takes your hand to subtly stand and back away from the group. with stifled giggles, the both of you manage to make it at least twenty feet without the losers even noticing. the second you two were out of earshot, richie wraps his hand around yours and begins to run, “i wouldn't want it any other way."

🎡

Ask Answers: January 28th, 2021 (Part 2)

Here we’ve got asks that aren’t to ask a question but are just really nice messages. Thank you all for sending us such kind comments ;v;. It’s seriously heartwarming to see so many people having good experiences with the game. I don’t even know what to say to such sweet responses.

We’ll keep doing our best and thank you again to each and every one of you for giving Our Life a chance ❤!

Hello! I've been following this account and have been following the development of 'Our Life' for a few months now, and I just wanted to say thank you for all your hard work and dedication you have put into the game. It astonishes me how much choice you have during the sequence of Our Life and am excited to play the full version now, I am downloading it as I write this message. I've had a great time seeing the demo transition into to the full game and just wanted to write two words. Thank you.

Anhhhhffbgdfbhujk!!! Congratulations on the release, I’m playing the game right now! Thank you all for your hard work and I can’t wait for the Step 3 DLC to come out, I’ll probably wait for the Step 3 DLC to come out to experience everything, but until then, I still have a lot to play. Thank you once again!

finished my first playthrough just now. it just felt so wholesome ??? 100/10 would do it again. i laughed. i cried. i got angry. i felt second-hand embrassment— i got so into it i was left in literal tears after getting my first ending. the art, the storyline, the music, and COVE HOLDEN– UGH IT WAS LITERAL PERFECTION ❤ THE WAIT WAS WORTH IT. THANK YOU FOR MAKING SUCH AN AMAZING GAME 🥺😭 this made my 2020 better, i can't wait for step 4 in 2021 ❤❤

So I was following you guys on itchio for years and uhh did I stay up til 6 am on a school night to finish the game? Yes. Did I sob my eyes out during step 3 as a 20 year old having doubts about life and adulthood? Absolutely. I can't form proper sentences right now due to lack of sleep but just wanted to say thank you for making it. I honestly feel lighter and I feel like it changed my views on future to be more optimistic... I can't wait to replay it! Thanks again!

I love how Our Life turned out!! I keep replaying it and can't stop squeaking and giggling!! Thank You for creating it ♥

okay i have actually fallen in love with cove and cannot WAIT to marry him 😭

Hi! I played through 'Our Life' yesterday and  I just wanna say how refreshing it was to be able to have Cove be 'high initiative' and also have so many opportunities to initiate affection from the player character! As a pretty flirtatious/affectionate person myself, I notice that a lot of VNs don't give players that agency, and affection can be kinda 'carrot on a stick' if that makes sense. You guys did an awesome job! I look forward to seeing if there are more of those moments in Step 3 & 4 :)

I have to say I was pleasantly surprised by the option to choose Cove's level of initiative in step 3! As much I love the option to choose I personally enjoy have the romanced character take the lead without my input so when I got to step 3 and had to option to make it so that Cove initiated affection without as much input from me I was really happy! You guys seriously added so much freedom in terms of choices, it's almost baffling that the only thing you have to pay for is optional DLC!

I absolutely loved everything about the game and I really want congratulate the team for making the game such a satisfying experience.

I look forward to step 4

❤️❤️❤️❤️

* and sorry for my bad English

Just finished my first play through and I loved it! I've been looking forward to the game and it definitely was worth the wait. Thank you all for your hard work and can't wait for the extra dlc!

Till then, hope you guys gets some well deserved rest🤗

Love you guys, thank you so much for your hard work. :)

Ok, so I just finished Our Life and, wow. I have never cried at a video game before, ever. Thank you so, so much! Its one of my favorites.

this isn't a question, but i just wanted to say how much i enjoyed our life 🥺 i've been patiently looking forward to the full game for a few months now, and i couldn't be happier with it! i've only played through it once so far but the outcomes of the choices i made were all so soft and wholesome 💗 i can tell that everyone who was involved really worked hard and you all did an incredible job! i can't wait to see what else is in store 👍

i’d just like to say how addictive our life is!!! i constantly played it during quarantine and now playing the full release is so amazing to me!! i love that i’m still discovering dialogue bits with different personalities and actions!!! i have to admit that i’ve been wishing the day to pass faster all day during school so i could go home and play again. mentally i’m not the healthiest and our life being released has boosted it up so much, thank you for creating such an amazing game!!!!!

Hey, I just wanna say I played our life two times and it still give me the same feelings. I was really looking forward to this game before it came out and I kept on replaying the demo. This game is such an amazing experience and I feel so happy playing it. I am not really a person good with words unfortunately but I do honestly love this more than anything in the world. Thank you for making it and I hope that you will continue to make more games like our life. This game really makes me happy and I can't thank you enough

Just wanted to say that Our Life really made me feel seen as an 18 year old trans man who's been struggling with change as of late and I can't thank you guys enough for it. I just finished the main story and currently released DLC's and gosh, I can really only say... woah. Just, woah. The messages are somehow exactly what I needed to hear right now, and they brought me a lot of comfort in this really weird and confusing time in my life. Can't wait to see what comes next in this lovely story <3

I am honestly in love with Our Life. The graphics, the soundtrack its just *chef's kiss* It was so worth the wait for it. I can't wait for step 4. Keep up the good work GB Patch!

good people i have just finished Our Life and let me say, it was beautiful. rarely have such non-fantastical moments (and even some fantastical moments) brought me to tears like this game has, and i don't even have the dlc (yet). i don't know how you did it but it felt like i was playing a slice of life anime. i had waited with baited breath to play this since i played the demo and my expectations were not just met but surpassed. from the bottom of my heart thank you for this game

I found the game by chance and I am so so glad I did. It’s so inclusive and made me feel so incredibly seen. Seeing that my gender identity and sexuality were possible just meant the absolute world to me. I’ve never seen something like this and it just made me so incredibly happy. Thank you for the absolutely amazing game and I can’t wait to see what’s next.

Hello! I downloaded Our life earlier this week and I'm only now getting the chance to play it (Very busy and stressful week) I'm so excited to play and I wanna say thank you for making this adorable game!

I just finished my first playthrough of Our Life and I can't even express how much I love it. Cove is absolutely precious and has killed me several times, and the art and soundtrack is beautiful. I love all the small different choices. I'm very interested in the Derek and Baxter DLCs and the rest, can't wait!!!!!!

thank you for "Our Life Beginnings & Always" it has to be one of the best visual novels i ever have played and i just dont want it to end (i know it will, but damn it! i want to have a wedding night, have children and die of old age with cole! XD) when i play it it always makes me tear up (in a good way) and i am most definetly going to buy all the dlc that you make! thank you for this lovely game and all the work that went into it! (ps: i also loved "lake of voices" )

You guys are incredibly talented and im very proud of you all! You've really outdone yourselves w/ OL and i cant wait to see whats next to come for you all :)

i really love that you can be trans in Our Life! not a lot of games do that so i just wanted to say thank you!

Guuyyss!! I just wanna say! Thank you sm for the headscarf option in the MC creator! I especially loved that little detail where MC quickly slips the headscarf on before greeting Cove, I've never felt so immersed :'D Not that the rest of the game wasn't immersive btw, but since I wear my hijab most of the time that little addition really felt like something I would do! So thank you for that <3

I've been watching "Our Life: Beginnings & Always" development for quite some time, and I gotta say its wild to see it finally release. Its so unique in the way relationships work- even character creation. I've cried multiple times over this game while playing. I can't thank y'all enough for a game with these kind of mechanics, and representation. its rare I get to feel im really playing as myself in games like these. Everyones outdone themselves. this'll certainly be one I keep coming back to.

I've been following the development of Our Life from way back when the first demo dropped and it still blows my mind how many choices and customizations there are (love that update for the MC's bedroom btw!) and the fact that the game remembers them - it really feels like your very own coming of age story! I was so immersed I cried at the end :') Can't believe I experienced this game for free lol. I can't wait for future DLCs and Step 4! Good luck with all your upcoming projects dev team!!

Just wanted to say I love Our Life and I'm thankful it exists. Thank you so much! I love the little world you created and all the people in it. Especially Cove! This game makes me so happy!

Just poping in to say hi and that ilu guys ^^, remember to take care of yourselves!

Hi!! I just wanna thank you for creating such an amazing game. Our Life is one of the few dating sims I’ve found that let’s me be a male mc, it’s really hard to find dating sims that let me be gay. Our Life is my new favorite dating sim to just sit down and playthrough whenever I’m having a bad day so I just wanted to let y’all know how much I appreciate all you’ve done. 🤍

Fan from australia here

Just wanted to reach out and let you know how important this game has been to me. I came across it at a really rough time ( that I’m still going through ) and it’s been one of the things that’s driven me to get up and out of bed sometimes.

This game and cove both hold a very special place in my heart and I can’t wait to see more of him in the DLC and Step 4

Much love ♥️

I know this isnt exactly the main focus of the game, but i really love how we can customise the mc personality wise! This is the first time i've played a game like this where the mc actually does and says exactly what I would do and say in certain situations and its such a breath of fresh air!! It's also so cool how the other characters can pick up on it!!

Cove Holden saved 2020 (my 2020 anyways) I would die for him

Sorry for this being out of the blue, but after playing through Our Life I wanted to thank you for the experience. I don’t know if I’ve ever played a game that has made me cry happy tears TWICE lol. It’s beautiful, scenic, inclusive, and absolutely amazing..have a great rest of 2020 and I honestly cannot wait for the rest of it :,) (ps. The ending song is stuck in my head)

I think you guys might've ruined visual novels for me forever. I'm not sure I'll be able to play another without comparing it to Our Life and I know if I do that I'll be disappointed every time because of how amazing it is. I bought the DLCs before playing the base game it's one of the best impulsive purchases I've ever made

Thank you so much for making our life! It's my favorite visual novel ever and I just can't articulate how much being able to just be honest with my responses instead of going for whatever would make the love interest happy means to me? I reccomended it to evry friend I have that plays visual novels because this is the best one I've ever played!

Just wanted to say that I absolutely adore this game! The childhood friends tropes is my favorite thing and this game delivers! Cove is the sweetest thing, infact all the boys are good boys. Super excited for all upcoming dlcs!

Hi, I just want to thank you for making such an amazing game like Our Life. Tbh, I was following the game’s development for a while, but me and my family moved away from my childhood town just a few days before release, so I really connected to this game. You all did amazing!

hey just wanted to know that i completely loved ol: b&a and it was so good and love cove more than i’ve liked any fictional character, it’s now my comfort media. thank you so much

hi i just wanna say i really enjoyed all of the representation in our life b&a! there were characters with a lot of different body shapes, pic characters, lgbtq+ characters, and you get to choose your own pronouns and sexuality!!! so tysm!!

This isn't a question, I just wanted to say that Our Life is incredible. Ever since I finished it, I've been looking for other visual novels to play so I don't play OL so often that I start memorizing the lines before all the DLC comes out, but I keep coming back to it. It's really one of a kind, I think you all ruined other visual novels for me because I haven't enjoyed another VN like I have this one since I read it ❤.

i think our life b&a is the first game where i felt like cove loved me, not the character i play as which is really nice for someone with kinda low self esteem so THANK YOU

I’ve been playing Our Life practically nonstop since yesterday. I just want everyone who worked on it to know how much the LGBTQ inclusivity means to me. As a closeted trans ace guy in an unsupportive household, I can’t emphasize how much of a comfort this game has been to me. Everything about it is so wholesome and heartfelt. I’m excited to see what other games you make in the future 💙

- A demibiromantic ace transgender man who may or may not have cried over the option to be myself in a game for the first time ever

Csn i just say i really appreciate how you handled MC deciding to use they/them at different stages. Mainly because alot of games don't pay much attention to the body the mc was assigned at birth if they player chooses nonbinary like it does with male/female. And it was just nice to be able to play an mc who just thought gender was kinda 'meh' for them but still felt good about the body they were born with (like myself). I guesd it boils down I'm really appreciative of the hard work it must've taken for you to make all those options possible & still have them matter.

I just wanted to thank you all for Our Life. My mental health hasn't been in a good place recently and it has become my favorite form of escapism/way to cheer up. It's idyllic setting and fantastic characters are such a good way to wind down, I love it. Also, I've been dreading 2021 due to classes starting and general stress, but the DLC and your next project have given me something to actually look forward to :). I'm so excited for them and now I actually have a reason to be happy that it's 2021. Sorry if this message is a bit weird, I just wanted to thank the team for their hard work and for creating something so incredible <3

I've gotta say this is one of the most repayable games I've ever played, if not the most. Usually after i do a playthrough or two of a game i have to wait awhile before playing again otherwise it feels stale. But i haven't had that problem with our life because of the sheer ammount of player agency. Everyone who works on tbe game should feel incredibly proud of themselves because you've created something amazing.

I just wanted to say thank you for Our Life. I'm sure you get this a lot, but it really pulled me out of a mentally tough spot in my life. So thank you.

who needs therapy when you have our life: beginnings and always? haha no but seriously this game is my comfort game, and even though i can’t join your patreon at the moment please know i am always supporting you and i am so excited to see everything you have in store! everyone who works on the games is so so talented

All DLCs have nice content. 😡😡

And I love them all!!💗💗💗💖💖💖💕💕💕

got tagged by @hils79 ♥ thank you so much, i adore every tag game that has anything to do with music :’D (and now i’ve also been tagged by @s1utspeare my beloved as well as @ashenlights my dear ♥ apparently am too slow for yall smh)

Rules: spell out your url with song titles, then tag as many people as there are letters in your url

so here goes! am trying to pick some songs i have not mentioned before, let’s see how that goes... 

Villain - AleXa (알렉사) x

promoting my girl alexa bc she’s just so cool? am a huge fan of her style even if her music doesn’t always click with me. other option would’ve been oneus’ valkyrie bc the rock version owns my ass

If You’re Hearing This - Hook N Sling, Parson James, Betty Who x

very fitting for summer with these chill and swaying vibes. this song makes me super happy bc there’s a lot of hope in it. it also makes me think about some very mundane soulmate aus where some outsider follows other ppl finding their soulmates in a cafe or library of a tiny book shop or the corner of a museum etc, waiting for their own pair to catch up

Sleepy Hollow - Su Lee x

i’ve been listening to this song for a while now but it still feels relatively new. i love the way things get added to the instrumental the song starts with and then it keeps swelling and swelling. also the lyrics are just amazing 

How Do You Sleep? - Sam Smith x

this song is my happy place. despite the lyrics this is just so funky and i get even happier when i remember the bts stuff i watched for this. sam smith seemed to enjoy the dancing a lot, and it was so lovely to see them so excited bc of how much they’ve grown and changed. love that for them 

Cover Me - Black Math x

my dear kiddo always tells me that my music taste is very soundtrack-y. this song is a proof of that. such haunting, grandiose, movie-like vibes ♥

Odyssey - Talos x

as anyone who’s been following me or has as much as touched binding knows, i’ve fallen hard and deep for talos. their music is just so nice? it’s comforting, mellow, beautiful, emotional. i love the lyrics so much. wild alee is one of my favorite albums i’ve listened to this year, so of course talos needs to be here. 

(another option would’ve been adam lambert’s outlaws of love bc i was absolutely obsessed with this weilan fmv last autumn) 

uhgood - RM x 

even if moonchild is my fave song from mono, uhgood is the song that speaks to me the most. namjoon’s ability to write songs that are relatable in their rawness but very comforting in their interwoven hope is unparalleled. every song on mono feels like a hug. he’s so accepting of the good and the bad and how those two connect. this one felt like a caress to my perfectionist soul.  

Nightmare - Halsey x

this one was harder to choose bc apparently my fave songs tend to begin with an n :’D other options would’ve been no mercy by pvris, never be like you by crywolf and not mine by day6. but i have to go with halsey bc her music has become super important to me. also, nightmare is just Amazing and the mv is even better (it also reminds me of her concert i went to last year before all the covid hassle broke out)

THAT’S A JOKE - NF x

would this be a playlist made by me if it didn’t include at least one nf song? unlikely. this album didn’t speak as much to me as the previous two did but i still have various songs from it on my playlist. this one is a banger. the brutality of nf’s songs hits me every time. (no wonder i associate the songs with liu sang haha)

sorry i cannot make yall a playlist so you have to listen to all of these separately ^^’ i hope you found something worth your while! 

tagging: @i-am-just-a-kiddo @aheartfullofjolllly @wuyus @wuxien @yibobibo @xia-xueyi @manhasetardis @jazthespazz @xiejie-liubo ♥ no pressure, especially for those who have longer urls :’D also i feel like some of you have already been tagged but i’ll tag you again in that case. have a nice day ^^

AYO BESTIE CAN I PLEASE GET A BAISE FLUFF ALPHABET SHES FROM HXH THE YORKNEW ARC

A/N: Sorry this took a minute. Writers block at its finest. This might be a little angsty in some parts. Spoilers from the Yorknew Arc for the ones who aren’t that far.

Fluff Alphabet - Baise x GN! Reader

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

Your voice. She could never get tired of listening to it. It could be filled with excitement about the simplest things or the certain tone you make when you pout because of her teasing. Absolutely love it and wouldn’t trade it for the world.

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)

Your neck! She loves to bury her face in it and leaving little kisses all over it (depending on you things might escalate👀). It’s also a place of comfort after a bad day. She claims that your scent calms her down. It also gives her the excuse of being close to you.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

She really likes to have you lay your head on her chest. It’s a common occurrence for you to be laying on her on the couch while she’s scrolling through her phone. Also really enjoys having your head in her lap and vice-versa. When you start playing with her hair she just melts.

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

At home dates. With her going on missions quite frequently, Baise wants to spend as much time with you as she can without distraction. If you want to go out she won’t try to deteriorate you. Just make sure to give her your full attention, okay?

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

Did somebody say physical touch? She’ll kiss you, hug you, hold your hand, anything to br close to you. I headcanon that she’s secretly poetic as fuck so words of affirmation are really big too. Her compliments are always full of love.

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

She’s kind of on the fence with it. She really doesn’t want to go through the whole birth process. Other than that though she might be into it. If she gets to see you smile with the kids

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

Believes that love shouldn’t be measured in material things. It’s nice to give gifts once in a while but feels like it’s not the only aspect of affection. Don’t let that discourage you though! If you give/make her a gift she’ll shower you with compliments. Baise definitely has a special place to put everything.

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

Baise holds your hands all the time. While you two are cuddling, sleeping, walking around time, everywhere. Loves to give it a little squeeze every once in a while. OH she 100% kisses your hand just to see how flustered you get.

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

Her first priority would be to make sure nothing is an immediate threat to your life. After that, she’s going to fix you up and make you get some rest. Probably would get you to tell you what happened but wouldn’t really do anything. It’s not because she doesn’t care, it’s just that as long as you’re safe in her arms she’s content.

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you?)

Yes. Nothing extreme of course but Baise does enjoy seeing you jump. Laughs whenever it happens. Also, she’s funny af so of course, y’all have jokes. A good handful of them are suggestive. She’s a giant tease as well. She has to let her sadistic behavior out some way.

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

Sometimes Blaise can be a little hesitant to kiss you. Her nen can get in the way and the last thing she wants is for you to be affected by it. However, her favorite type are those deep passionate ones. She usually gives you one right before she leaves for a job. (I just thought about her giving you that kiss right before yorknew without knowing that was going to be her last. I’m sitting here sad now.)

L = Love (how do they show they love you?)

Physical touch is really big. Believes that actions speak louder than words. She also just really likes touching you. If that’s not your forte then she’ll go to the next best thing: gift-giving. Baise has really good taste so if she sees something she thinks you’ll like consider it bought.

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

You two were on a date. It was at a field of flowers that you could pick. To be honest though you two were just playing around. Running and jumping around, laughing at each other’s antics. I mean who could ask for a better day. You two were standing under a tree sharing short and sweet kisses when a girl took a picture. It’s Blaise favorite. Whenever she’s doing a job she’ll look at it to remind her what she’s coming back to.

N = Nightmare (when is their worst fear?)

Someone coming to kill you. She’s worked and dealt with some nasty people. She also knows that people do come after others just because they feel like it. She would be absolutely torn if she came home one day to not only see that place trashed but to also see you laying on the floor lifeless.

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)

That she’s a heavy sleeper. It will take some time getting her up in the morning but that’s alright! There’s a foolproof way of getting her up…or it might end in her pulling you back to sleep. First make some tea. Then go into your shared room and begin placing soft kisses all over her face. She’ll begin to stir with that but it’s not enough! “Love, it’s time to get up. I made you some tea.” Baise will let out a groan before pulling you into her, placing a kiss on your head. “Why’re you always up so early?” is what you’re usually met with.

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

Regular ones like babe, love, lovebug, or, her personal favorite, the absolute love of her life. When she says this it’s always in a dramatic tone. Doesn’t do the shorter version of your name unless it’s a really serious topic and she needs you to be serious.

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

Baise is willing to do whatever you want to. She just wants to be close to you. Wanna cuddle? The pillows and blankets are all ready to go. Want to cook? She’s a decent chef so sure why not? Want to watch that show you’ve been binging? Let her get the popcorn.

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

Le Festin from the Ratatouille soundtrack. You two were cooking when it came on and acted like fancy chefs. It’s a very cherished memory between the both of you. I’m a Flirt by R. Kelly is one. Like the title it implies her flirtatious behavior towards you and how she likes to tease. Last but not least is I Met Sarah in the Bathroom. It reminds you of the last night you spent together before yorknew :(

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

At first not so much. It’s not because she didn’t want to open up. It’s just the fact that she wants to keep you safe. Eventually she’ll start venting her issues to you. Little by little she’ll get more comfortable just saying what’s bothering around you.

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

A few years. Baise loved you and wants to spend the rest of her life with you. However she works a dangerous job. The last thing she wants is to drag you into something that could possibly end you.

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

Upon seeing you upset she’ll pull you into a hug. Rubbing your back asking what happened. If you decide not to tell her that’s fine. She’ll then ask you what you want to do. It can be going for a snack run, taking a walk, cuddling, anything. As long as she gets to see you smile again.

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

Hell yeah! On the occasion that you two go into town she’ll be proud that she gets to walk around with you. Proud that you chose her over everyone else.

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting?)

Honestly would rather you not. The thought of you getting injured or worse haunts her. If you can fend for yourself then she can’t really stop you but she’ll be extra attentive to make sure nothing happens.

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

With her occupation, she needs to be able to read people. So being able to read you comes with it too. If Baise sees that you’re upset she’ll walk up cupping your face in the process asking what’s wrong.

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

It was one of this very rare occasions that Baise was up before you. She was standing on the balcony over the city in deep thought when your arms found their way around her. “Well someone’s up early.” You said in a teasing tone. She chuckled to herself, turning around to engulf you. “What’s on your mind?” She let out a sigh. “You can see right through me. As always.” Looking up, you were met with green eyes full of love and admiration but also concern and worry. “I’ve been thinking a lot about us..” Your breath hitched. You always knew that your safety was her highest priority. You knew she would brake it off if she deemed it unsafe. Was this it? Noticing how tense you got Baise kissed your temple. “You are the most important thing to me you know? Even if I wanted to I could never fully let you go so I’ve decided I want you forever.” You felt her slip out of your hold getting on one knee. “Will you grant me that wish and marry me?”

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)

Seeing you happy. It means that she’s doing what she’s supposed to. Your happiness is so important to her so just seeing you smiling and laughing makes her heart clench.

Island Dreams - Chapter 11

Hi all,

Chapter 11 is here. So far this is my favourite. Rowan and Aelin go on the adventure he promised her and... well... there is fluff. Almost 5k words of fluff.

Aelin get to listen to Rowan's favourite groups. One of them is called Peat and Diesel. The guys are from Stornoway and I LOVE them. Their music is super original and fun. In this youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZM6qAiZZKA you have an introduction of them. Listen to their accents and you have an idea how people on the Western Isles talk and the guy with the red jumper (Innes) has the kind of accent that Rowan has in the story. 3 of my favourite songs: Western Isles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zo2zuDxqf6A This video is hilarious and the guy go around Stornoway. My Islands: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoLBnk05ris&t=89s Stornoway: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efx_4YxLFRc

Peat and Diesel have been a constant soundtrack while writing this fic.

The second group are Runrig. Alas they are now retired but they have been playing for decades and they are the first Scottish group I have discovered once I moved to Scotland. I have seen them live and they were incredible. They sing in both English and Gaelic.

Happy reading and for once may the fluff be with you <3

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At 6am next morning, Aelin was in front of her house with her backpack strapped on her shoulders and all ready to go. The forecast for the day was meant to be wonderful with really high temperatures for Scotland. A heat wave, the meteorologists had announced. She was wearing shorts and a nice polo shirt and a baseball cap with a Saltire on that she bought at the tourist office. She probably looked ridiculous but she did not care. A text from Rowan came, announcing that he was on his way and five minutes later his car finally arrived. “Took you long enough.” Aelin commented while jumping in the car. “I was my aunt’s place to gather food. And knowing you, it had to be a lot.” Aelin punched his arm and he laughed in response. Once at the terminal they parked at the front and they both went inside the terminal to buy the tickets. Aelin was about to go ahead and order them but Rowan blocked her “my treat.” He said. With tickets in hands they returned to the car and joined the queue of vehicles ready to check-in and board. “This is so exciting.”

“Only a tourist like you would find the embarkation process exciting.” He joked and flipped her hat with his hand, making it fly. “And this tourist here is going to get a fridge magnet as well.” She replied while putting her baseball hat back on in defiance. Around 7.30 it was finally time to get on board. After they left the car on the car deck they climbed back on the passenger deck and Aelin dragged Rowan outside. “No way I am staying cooped up.” “It’s going to be cold.” He told her zipping up her jacket in a very protective manner. “I spent the entire journey here on the deck. And it was a bit cooler than now. You point is not valid.” He raised his hand in defeat “It’s your freezing ass.” He removed his windbreaker and Aelin noticed that her was wearing the university of Glasgow hoodie that she had stolen from him. “That’s my hoodie.” She protested. “You asked me to make sure it smell like me again. I am just following procedure.” She snuggled to him and inhaled his scent “A couple of more days, then it’s mine again?” Rowan laughed “Fine.” The ferry finally started to move and Aelin turned to the aft side of the boat and very dramatically she started waving at the people at the pier. Rowan followed her. He hadn’t been this excited by a trip in ages. And it was all thanks to her. Aelin leaned against the handrail, her face half turned and her hair flowing freely and in that instant Rowan took his camera out and snapped some picture of her. “Someone had a fancy camera.” She took a step to him to have a look at the picture he had just taken and was impressed. They were super good. “I am just the modern brat who uses her phone.” And she snapped a picture of him smiling. “Yes! I got a good one.” She was planning to take a lot of pictures of Rowan. Lysandra had asked her for some proof that this mysterious man existed and she was going to show her friend. An hour and a half later land was in sight again and they got ready to disembark and Aelin could not contain her excitement and not a long later they were on the road again. Rowan had attached his mp3 player to the car stereo and started playing some music. “This band is called Peat and Diesel, they are from Stornoway and they are one of my favourite groups. I met them once and they are hilarious and very down to earth and their music is brilliant if you are from there, you can relate.” Aelin listened to the tune and had to admit the songs were great. She started to dance in the car and Rowan laughed. “They are awesome.” “They are playing this year at HebCelt I have tickets for their concert…” he offered. “I am coming.” Then she stopped herself “If you want me, of course.” “I’ll think about it.” And he gave her a huge grin. “This song is called Stornoway….” He told her. “I love their style they add the accordion added to rock music. This is brilliant stuff.” “Good,” and his hand went on her knee. They drove for about five minutes, just enough to get out of the town and Rowan pulled over. Aelin was speechless the landscape around her was of barren mountains and in front of her lay this amazing beach. She got off the car and ran out and sat on the bench on the side of the road. The silence around her was incredible. Rowan was at her side a minute later. “This is Ardmair beach.” The he took her arm and pointed ahead “Those over there are called Summer Islands. You can take boat trips to visit them.” Aelin leaned against this shoulder and inhaled his scent mixed with the one of the sea. For ten minutes they sat in silence staring at the sea and listening to the seagulls. “Come on… we still have a bit to drive.” While on the road Aelin’s phone rang and was happy to see it was Lysandra. “Hi darling.” “Hi babe, quick call because I don’t have much time. Aedion and I have a surprise.” Exclaimed the woman at the other end. “Lys, please don’t tell you are pregnant already.” Lysandra laughed “No, Aedion and I have taken holidays.” Aelin grinned “So you are phoning me to tell me that you and mister hot hands are taking two weeks off to have crazy sex? Gee stop bragging.” She turned her head and noticed that Rowan pretended not to listen. In response she put a hand on his leg and his breath hitched at the contact. “No. We re coming to see you. We want to see all those amazing places.” Aelin screamed and almost gave a heart attack to the man at her side. “Ae, I have two minutes. We are coming up soon. I will text you all the details but we are staying for two weeks.” “Good text me everything and we’ll get some adventures organised.” Lysandra squealed on her side of the phone and then hang up to go and have fun in surgery. Aelin looked at Rowan “Lysandra and her boyfriend are coming up for two weeks.” “Given your screams I guessed it was something like that.” She squeezed his leg again and went back to admiring the landscape being amazed at every single corner. An half an hour had passed when Rowan stopped the car again and parked in a small car park. Aelin’s mouth fell open when she noticed the ruins of the castle on the loch. “That is Ardvreck castle.” He told her, getting off the car. Aelin followed and took the hand he offered. “When will this country stop to surprise me?” “Never.” Admitted Rowan “and this part of Scotland is one of the most stunning and the northern we get the wilder and unspoiled it gets.” “Ro, this is incredible.” She left his hand and started walking to the ruins. For a moment he just stared at her in admiration. Stared at her legs and the rest of the ensemble. Lyria had called her a stick, but Rowan disagreed. Aelin had curves and he was dying to get his hands on every single one of them. She turned around and called him and he woke from his revelry. Alas, they did not have the place to themselves and a group of tourists was walking around the ruins as well. “What do you think?” He asked joining her. “I want to climb on it.” “Well, you can’t.” Aelin grumbled something and Rowan let her explore the site. Five minutes later he noticed her talking happily with the group of German tourists. He was jealous of the simplicity with which she could talk to people. When she came back to him she had a smug smiled painted on her face “what did you do?” Asked Rowan expecting the worst. “One of the lady was asking about books. They are coming to Stornoway next week so I told her about our shop.” Our. She probably didn’t even notice the pronoun she used but Rowan felt a deep sense of pride and joy and his traitor mind reminded him that Lyria never called it like that. It was always your shop and when they had fights she would add a damned for emphasis. “We don’t have books in German.” He whispered. “Oh no, she is looking for books in English to practice.” Aelin took his hand “thank you for taking me here.” “The adventure is nor over yet.” He started walking. They crossed to road and he started to walk on the grass and followed the small river. They walked for a bit and then Aelin spotted some small waterfalls. The land was on different levels and the path of the river was broken, thus creating a small series of waterfalls. Rowan sat down on a rock and began opening his backpack. “Lunch time.” Aelin was at his side in seconds. He had made sandwiches for both. That morning he had woken up early and he had prepared a lunch for both. “It’s not a lot but we’ll eat when we get to Lochinver. There is a place where they make the most amazing savoury pies.” “You really know how to woo a woman.” She grabbed the sandwich he passed her and sat down in silence and stared at the water flowing down from the mountains. “Do I get to meet Lysandra?” Aelin munched faster and nodded “She will kill me if she doesn’t get to meet you.” Once done eating Rowan stood and offered her his hand “Come, let’s go. We can a have a long break after we arrive at our final destination. And we need to stop for pies too.” In a second Aelin was up and they walked back to the car. It took them fifteen minutes drive to reach their next stop and Aelin was giddy. Rowan had put more music on and she had discovered another of his favourite groups called Runrig and she fell in love with them. They also sang in Gaelic. She made a mental note to get all this groups from him once back home. Home.Because that’s where she was. And it felt right. A few houses and the hint of a village appeared out of the window and Aelin guessed they were arrived. Rowan pulled into the petrol station “Sorry. My car needs to eat as well.” And he gave a wonderful smile. He was always smiling to her recently and she wished he could do it all the time because it was one of the most beautiful sights she had ever seen. Five minutes later they moved to the car park next to the petrol station and Rowan again offered his hand to her. The Larder was the name of the bistro they were going to. They went inside and sat at a table. “This one is on me. In the end we didn’t finish the meal after winning the bet, so that’s me now buying you the meal I owed you.” “Ro, you don’t have to.” He put a hand on hers and squeezed gently “I know, but I want to.” They were eating their meals when Rowan broke the silence “The local high school asked me to join them on a part time basis as swimming instructor.” Aelin’s hand stopped half way to her mouth and looked at him “No way.” He nodded and she saw a hint of sadness in his eyes. “How do you feel about it?” His hand deposited his fork on the plate and he leaned back on the chair sighing heavily “Torn.” A hand ran through his hair “I want to. I miss it so much. But I don’t know if I can.” Aelin grabbed her chair and moved closer to him and grabbed his hand in hers “Give it a go. Tell them you want to do a trial lesson. See how it goes. How you feel. Then decide.” “It would be for just two mornings a week, and the extra money is a plus.” He gave her a faint smile. “And I will look after the bookshop, so don’t worry about not being able to open. If you trust me, of course.” His face leaned closer and for a brief moment the space between them was very minimal. “I trust you.” Her hand all of a sudden had a life on its own and she found it going straight for his head and ran it through his hair. At the touch he closed his eyes and hummed very lightly. A second later Aelin retracted her hand and blushed furiously but he did not seem mad at the gesture. Quite the opposite, he had a very satisfied grin on his face. She was probably beetroot red just now, but it felt so good. They left the bistro and walked a bit along the promenade in the village, but she was dying to see the next stop and Rowan noticed her urgency. “Fine, fine we’ll go.” She ran back to their car while Rowan took his time walking just to annoy her. “You are such a grandpa.” Fifteen minutes later they stopped in car park and once out of the car she could spot a beach in the very distance and excitement cursed through her. She grabbed her stuff and was all ready to go while Rowan was doing his best to move so slow that a sloth could beat him to it. “Whitethorn!” She barked through gritted teeth. “Such an impatient woman.” He finally locked the car, picked his backpack from the ground and joined her. “I can see a beach. I have no patience.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him. Once they finally reached the sand, Aelin stood transfixed. In front of her opened a bay with sands so white it hurt her eyes and with the waters of a turquoise that could not be real. She was speechless. Also the beach was empty and they were the only two there and that was a bonus. “Welcome to Achmelvich beach.” She finally managed to move, dropped her backpack, removed her shoes and ran to the water. Rowan grabbed her stuff and moved it closer. He lay down a towel and sat down watching her play in the water with the unbridled joy of a kid. She was carefree and she was beautiful. “This is amazing.” She shouted at him while walking the length of the beach. Ten minutes later she was on her way back with a smile that melted his heart. “I just wish the water was not so cold because I’d die to have a swim in those waters.” Rowan patted the towel beside him. Aelin sat and then lay down with her head on his thighs and looked up at him and wondered if she had gone too far but he didn’t seem to fussed. They had been getting much closer but she still wasn’t sure how far she could go with her affections. She almost had a heart attack in the bistro when she brushed her hand in his hair. “Ro…” “Hm?” His voice sounded peaceful and she looked up and noted that his eyes were closed and he had a peaceful smile on his face. “Where do we stand?” “What do you mean?” “You and I. What is this?” Rowan sighed. He had been asking himself the same question for a few days now. There was definitely something there. Something more than friendship, but he could not define what it was exactly. “Are we friends? More? A couple? Because we have been behaving like one.” His hand brushed her hair and traced the line of her forehead “I don’t know, Fireheart.” She sighed and felt the same frustration as him. “You still have Elias. You two are still going out.” “We are not…” she paused “I mean, we are not a couple. And I need to talk to him.” She lifted her hand and with the back of it she brushed his cheek. “Why don’t we take it slowly. See how it goes, figure out our feelings and not put a label on it just yet?” He looked down at her. He could do that and it was probably the best way to go. Not rush things for once. Take their time. “But can I still do this?” And his hand traced her arms then reached her neck. His thumb continued his journey to her lips and brushed them gently while the hand cupped her cheek. Then he bent over and placed the chastest kiss in history on her lips and Aelin’s heart raced madly in her chest. It was brief and barely a kiss but it sent shivers all down her spine and she wanted more but she didn’t press. The hand left her cheek and moved down again tracing the length of her arm, until his fingers twined in hers “I like doing this.” “We can just be Aelin and Rowan for now. Status undecided.” And he heard her chuckle. Aelin nodded “A Buzzard and his Fireheart. What do you think? Way more epic.” She offered as an alternative. He brought her hand to his lips while still in his and kissed it “I love it very,” a kiss “very,” another one “much.” Aelin giggled and then her stare turned serious again “I am not going back to London.” And he stared at her almost understanding the weight of her admission. A selfish part of him had been hoping for that. Another reason why he didn’t want to make things official with her. He could not bear the idea of getting into a relationship and having to let her go back to her old life. And the idea of a long distance relationship was out of the question. “I feel like I don’t belong there anymore.” She continued and he let her “Not when I am currently living in a corner of paradise, where life seem to have slow down to a point that on the islands everything is closed on a Sunday. Where there so much nature around me and I feel like a can breath again. After a month I crave all of this desperately and the idea of going back to my old frenetic life… I don’t think I can do it anymore.” She closed her eyes and a pained expression was on her face “I can’t go back to all that. And definitely not to my old job.” Another deep breath “I have been looking for jobs here, at the hospital, but there is nothing at the moment.” “Aelin, that’s great.” He caressed her head “Something will come up. There is always a shortage of doctors on the islands.” “Will you be mad at me if I leave the bookshop?” Rowan gave her a huge smile “No. You go and follow your dream. If a job comes up you go for it.” And he meant it. Lyria had left him because she was bored and the job was only a way for her to make some money. Aelin was different, she would be going back to her dream job. And the fact that she asked meant she cared. “I can come and help from time to time, you know? Your display need my mastery touch.” Rowan erupted in laughter “My displays were doing okay before you arrived.” “Aye, but now they are doing great.” She sat up in front of him and resisted the urge to kiss her, more deeply this time. He shook the thought away and stood “Come, there is another thing I want to show you.” They grabbed their stuff and Rowan began walking on the rocky formation until they reached what looked like a small fortified construction. “That’s a weird building.” “That’s Hermit’s castle. Europe’s smallest castle.” He helped her navigate safely the rocky formation. “Gee, that is small.” He came behind her and his arms went around her waist “it’s quite a fun place and the views are incredible.” He grabbed her hand and pointed at the mountains at the horizon “that peak over there is called Suilven.” Aelin turned to face him “Can we go inside this castle?” “I knew you were going to ask it.” He took her hand and guided her back to the entrance “Be careful, it can be slippery.” She followed him into the entrance and noticed that he almost had to bend over to get access and laughed at him. “The joys of being short.” She mocked him. They spent a bit of time exploring the ruins “This is one of the weirdest places I have ever been to.” Once they were out Aelin sat on the cliffside and enjoyed the view. Rowan towered over her and was taking pictures, mostly of her when she was not looking in his direction. When her expression was natural. He sat beside her “You have three options now: one, we go to Clachtoll beach nearby, a bit smaller but still super lovely. Option two we get back into the car and we drive to a lighthouse, three we do both but we can’t linger too long because we have to drive all the way back to Ullapool for our ferry back home.” “I’ll take three.” “Good. So, get your arse of this rock and let’s go.” She jumped on her feet and followed him back to the car. Five minutes later they had reached their next destination and she was glad Rowan was the one driving. The roads were far too small for her and although she was getting used to it, she was still very apprehensive. He, on the other hand drove with the experience of someone who had driven along those small roads all his adult life. They took a nice stroll on the beach and Aelin again had to walk in the water and Rowan followed her. “We should come back to this part of Scotland… for… a longer vacation.” His eyes bulged in surprise and his heart fluttered. She was already thinking longterm and he realised that probably they were more involved than either of them had the guts to admit. Truth was… he had been thinking about something like that all day. Having a proper holiday with her and show her the north west of Scotland. Show her some of his favourite spots. “If you are deemed worthy of having me as a tour guide.” He joked and with his foot he splashed her on the legs and as revenge she did the same. “Such a mean old man.” “And you are a brat.” But you are my brat. “Come on menace, out of the water. I want to go to the lighthouse and then on our way back.” “Yes, sir. At your orders, sir.” She gave him a military salute and in her response he pushed her out of the water . “You will be the death of me.” And shook his head on his way back to the car. Twenty minutes later they reached the lighthouse and its position was just as dramatic as the one at the Butt of Lewis, with the Minch right in front of her. The wind had picked up and it was cold again. As if on cue Rowan arrived with her jacket in his hands “Put this on,” he pulled the jacket around her and zipped it up “Don’t get sick because I am not playing nurse with you.” And he grinned at those words. Mean her lips mouthed to him while he worked on the zip and for a second he stared at those lips and thought about the chaste kiss he had given her on the beach. He had a different idea altogether about what he would do to them. They reached the edge, and Rowan pulled her against his chest “Be careful, it’s quite a drop and the wind is savage. Stay away from the edge.” “You don’t need a jacket?” “I am used to this, I am fine.” He hugged her tighter and she enjoyed the heat emanating from his body. “See over there? That thin stretch of land?” He pointed at the horizon. The wind had cleared the sky so much that she could see land on the other side of the Minch. “That’s home.” At that word she put her hand on his and squeezed. She was enjoying the view but when she started shivering Rowan pulled her to the car “It’s cold. Plus we have an hour and a half drive back to Ullapool and I want to be there in good time for the ferry.” The drive back felt like it took longer than on the way out, probably because she knew the adventure was almost over and she wanted to spend even more time with him exploring. They made it back to Ullapool with a few hours to spare and Rowan showed her around the town and he took her to the town’s bookshop and they both ended up buying some books, like the two book addicts they were. Then Rowan took her for a coffee when he noticed her shivering and bought her a slice of chocolate cake. An hour later they were back in the car and in line to get on the ferry. “I really like these Peat and Diesel guys.” She commented while listening to his music. “They make me want to dance.” Rowan in response extended his arm and caressed her head and she almost purred. Once on the boat they stayed inside. The weather had turned all of a sudden and the wind had become quite bad and it was far too cold to be on the deck and Rowan convinced Aelin to take a seat and stay inside. He took a book out while Aelin leaned against his shoulder and almost instantly fell asleep. An arm went around her shoulder and pulled her closer to a more comfortable position and relished in the beauty of her body against his. The book forgotten, he now stared at her and her face was one of pure bliss. His thumb very gently stroked her cheek and then turned his neck and kissed the top the her head and lingered there for a moment inhaling her wonderful scent. She had been so cold that she had reclaimed her hoodie back and he was more than happy to oblige. He was tired of restraining himself. He realised sometimes that day that he was done pretending he did not feel anything for her. He wanted her. Badly. But until she had sorted her situation with Elias he could not do anything. And a pang of jealousy surged through him. He tried to read one more time but his mind could not concentrate, so he closed the book and decided to take a nap as well.

“Aelin,” he shook her gently as soon as the boat had started the docking procedure “we are almost home.” “Hm?” Then Aelin looked outside the porthole and noticed the familiar image of Stornoway’s marina. “Shit, did I sleep the whole time?” “We both did.” Rowan stood and gathered their stuff “Let’s go.” Rowan drove her home. It was past 9pm by the time they got back but it was so bright it was day but she felt exhausted. She had the most amazing day with him. “Rest, and I will see you tomorrow.” She brushed his hand and wished him a good night. Once back in the house she collapsed on the sofa exhausted. She finally remembered her mobile and when she looked at the screen she noticed two missed calls from Elias and a few text from him. It was Sunday for him as well and he was exploring the city and he had sent her some picture of places he had been and the complained that he missed her and that adventures without her were boring. Then she read the last message and her heart sank. He was coming back in a few days in the afternoon and he had invited her to dinner.

She threw the mobile on the sofa and went for a shower. And the more she thought the more she could not find a way to leat him down without hurting him.

Monday, March 22, 2021

MONDAY MOVIE REVIEW

Zack Snyder’s Justice League

“I don't care how many demons he's fought in how many hells. He's never fought us. Not us united...”

After nearly four years, Zack Snyder’s original vision for the Justice League movie has finally arrived and, damn, it did not disappoint. Although this film follows the story of the 2017 version very closely, it adds so much more to the viewing experience on so many different levels. It was great seeing the world’s greatest superheroes back together again but it was also wonderful to see new heroes and villains being added to the story. Every single character in the movie, both the familiar and the new faces, gets the chance for the audience to know them better and they also have their own shining moment within the narrative. Without a doubt, my favorite new character is the diabolical and terrifying Darkseid, ruler of Apokolips and a legendary comic book villain in his own right. He looked so damn dark and intimidating, he was voiced perfectly by Ray Porter, and it was thrilling to finally see him in the DC Extended Universe. One of the things that disappointed me the most about the 2017 Justice League movie was the decision to replace the original composer, Tom Holkenborg (also known as Junkie XL), with Danny Elfman; Elfman is a legend, of course, and he did a good job with that score but I knew that Holkenborg’s music would have been something special and his soundtrack for Zack Snyder’s Justice League proved me right. He greatly impressed me with his work alongside the great Hans Zimmer for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and this time around he brought epic, emotional, and engaging songs the perfectly suited what happens on-screen. The only negative thing I have to say about this picture is that it tries its very best to completely ignore the 2017 Justice League film and at times this mindset tends to affect the editing and pacing of the story; there were also a couple of lines and moments from that movie that are not in Zack Snyder’s (Pet Semetary, anyone?) and I sorely missed those. Other than that, I honestly loved this new version; there was plenty of action, but also some touching moments, great humor, and some very nice surprises within its four-hour runtime. More than anything though, Zack Snyder’s Justice League filled me with hope: hope for the upcoming DC movies featuring the Flash and the New Gods; hope for Ben Affleck’s Batman, because he is undoubtedly my favorite version of the Dark Knight and I want to see him again in future films; and hope for this version of the Justice League, the adventures they could have, and the new friends they make along the way. The silver “S” symbol on Superman’s black costume and the burning red omega symbol beneath Darkseid’s feet filled me with so much hope and excitement for the future of the DC Extended Universe. I loved what I saw and I can’t wait to see what happens next… 9/10

Here is my review of Cyberpunk 2077! It is a bullet point list of what I liked, and did not like about the game. I mean no offense in my writing, and am, of course, willing to be educated if I am wrong about anything! But please do not send me anonymous hate. I know many fans and haters of this game can be very, uh... So take it all with a grain of salt, and form your own opinions.

This is very long and likely boring so if you manage to make it to the end, I will be very impressed! Also, I may ramble or repeat myself, sorry. There’s more bad points than good, since the game is very glitchy and I couldn’t not mention the glitches I have experienced.

Obviously, this contains major spoilers! 👁👄👁

I’ll start off by saying, this is a game where you will likely not get what you expected. If you expected Cyberpunk 2077 to be a game filled with features that were never before seen, to revolutionise the gaming industry as we know it and become the most iconic video game ever made... You will not get that. If you expected it to be the worst, most irredeemable video game ever created that you’ll hate... You will not get that, either. If you expected a game that is a fairly standard RPG with some impressive graphics when played on a high spec PC, albeit with some bad glitches and a wonky story with lots of potential, then you’ve got it!

Pros:

The majority of the voice acting, such as in V, Johnny and Viktor, was very good and emotional. Viktor in particular made me tear up! And the way V manages to sound almost like Johnny with the subtle accent change was amazing!

The character’s such as Takemura, Jackie, the LIs, Johnny, Viktor, Misty (I could go on) and even many random NPCs were interesting! I wanted to know them and loved their relevant missions. The best ones were unromanceable, of course, but that’s what imagination is for.

THE ALDECALDOS! I love them! A found family, and I wish there was more to do with them other than Panam’s missions and a few side missions. I love found family, and I’m disappointed V couldn’t form their own, so I’ll take what I can get and love the Aldecaldos, even if V can’t join them until the very end. Panam had the best missions of all the LI’s, even if the last one felt very abrupt. (At least, on her friendship route.)

Night City felt alive. There was always plenty going on, it felt like a real city, and it could be beautiful.

Jackie and Corpo V’s friendship was lovely. I loved their “To this!” inside joke, and I loved how Jackie roasted V but would jump to their defence in a second. It didn’t feel forced at all.

There’s lots of environmental storytelling. The atmosphere of a city choking to death under it’s own pollution/corruption was very apparent in the areas not lived in by the rich. Lots of homeless characters, violence, drugs, absolute poverty, trash (The dump! I felt sick just looking at it, and I couldn’t even smell it! Poor V, though.) and general apathy from a lot of the residents really sold the concept.

Johnny and V’s dynamic was the best part of the story! I hated him at first, but slowly came to enjoy his commentary and advice. His interactions with V were very funny at times, and thoughtful at other times. He was an interesting perspective for the player to consider, while still being an asshole you could dislike for much of the story. He has some really emotional scenes and I played a V that viewed him as a friend, so it was really nice hearing him call V the closest person he’d ever had. They became so devoted to each other! CDPR did good with this element, but I can’t help wishing for more. The dynamic had so much more to give, and a romance/happy ending could have worked.

And to add on, the mission where Johnny takes over V’s body to go on a bender was great! I loved all the moments to play as Johnny in V’s body. All the symbolism between them was so good. Every mission matters, and you can replay to look closer at details! He also comments on other side missions with no personal relevance to him, which was neat.

All the enemies had unique names. A minor detail, but it made me feel some guilt over killing them. 🤣 I think all character’s had unique names, which is such a nice detail.

The soundtrack was incredible, I loved every original piece and radio song. I have several saved on Spotify, which is big praise coming from me! I very rarely listen to video game soundtracks.

V can adopt a cat! 🐈‍⬛ It was adorable, and Johnny’s interaction with it made me tear up!

The size of the map was good, not too big or too small. I got about 100 hours of play in by exploring, which is pretty good to me! I got lost a few times, but always found something interesting to do in the meanwhile. I loved the Badlands especially. 

Some of the side missions, particularly the more mysterious ones involving investigating deaths and the cyberpsychos, were very enjoyable! I’m a big slut for mystery, and there were some interesting cases to figure out. I wish we could’ve done missions like that with River, though, especially once he becomes a PI.

I was complaining about the lack of aliens in CP2077, but I suppose we did get a couple space themed missions which was pretty fun. I still want to go experience going into orbit, though. 👽 Or the moon!

Separating voice and body in the CC was a good idea, even if it was handled a little strangely. I’ll talk about this more in the ‘Cons’ section below!

Act 2 was my favorite part of the game, but it blended weirdly with Act 3 and that put me off. I am nostalgic for Act 1, but not eager to replay it because it felt so slow... I’m not sure on this point! I liked Act 2 because the story picked up and I was excited for more, but the more I got wasn’t as I expected. So, yes, Act 2 was good.

The scenery is very beautiful, and sometimes the outside lighting is absolutely perfect. The Arasaka parade mission was lovely to look at. I always stop the car and watch the sunrise/sunset, and I like going out to the Badlands to look at the stars!

An addition to that, is the lighting in some main quest missions. Very noir! It made for some beautiful screenshots. (Of which I sadly can’t share because my game doesn’t record well on medium settings. 😳)

The motorcycles are fun to drive! Mainly because I can zoom in between cars and Jackie’s motorcycle has a lot of sentimental value, as well as other vehicles like Johnny’s Porsche and Jake’s car. You can open the trunk to dump bodies in, which was a cool detail., and each one drives differently!

There could be amazing attention to detail, such as making Jackie look like his mother. I expected his mother to be a randomly generated NPC, but she was completely unique. It’s the minor things like that which stood out to me the most.

The scanner was a fun tool and very useful! I liked being able to find alternative ways to do a mission, it felt more realistic than the standard “massacre everybody, pick up an item and get out” fetch quests normally seen in RPGs. I could sneak in a tunnel or a side door! Perhaps irritating and unnecessary to some, but I liked it. I love utilising every possible option.

The interface color changes if you have Johnny controlling V’s body. Another small but good detail! The game is good with the minor details.

The sex scenes were not... awful. I expected much, much worse! I expected fully animated first person porn. Instead, I thought they were fairly realistic and intended to be romantic. Still very awkward, though, and unnecessary.

When they didn’t glitch, the animations were very good. Not as impressive as I hoped, probably because of glitches, but in line with other AAA games like Horizon Zero Dawn, I suppose? I noticed Judy’s animations in particular as being good, and Johnny had lots of unique ones too!

The clothing options are very fun, I like the holographic items and “Bitch” clothes, hehe. Also including Hijabs! 🧕 Great idea, and more games should do that.

The diversity of the NPCs was welcome. I enjoyed seeing Native American, Asian, Black and Latinx NPCs who weren’t there just to suffer! They would occupy important roles in the story, such as Fixers or friends/romance options for V, so they were pretty much unavoidable! It felt very natural, and they helped Night City feel more realistic.

Adding to that, the different cultures included were interesting too! I liked the Haitian characters in Pacifica.

The photo mode is pretty good. Not as good as I expected, the camera angle presets were useful but the filters weren’t very good. I liked that the photo mode could be used in cutscenes, though! It was standard, and I hope more bits will be added in for it.

A lot of the glitches are hilarious, but I recognise not all will share that opinion so I’m just adding this down here. The T-Posing NPCs are a highlight for me. Call that the Skyrim effect.

Cons:

No NB gender options/No pronoun options. Would they/them have been so difficult to implement?

No body or height sliders. There’s so many fat character’s in the game! Why can I not make my V fat? Or muscular?

Gender restrictive hairstyles and clothes. Come on, guys, it’s 2020/2077! Aren’t we beyond gender restrictive appearance options?

No tattoo parlours, no plastic surgeons and no hairstylists for V to change their appearance. I don’t understand why a CC was included at all, since we spent the majority of the game in first person. It reminded me of Far Cry.

The main story started off strong, albeit slow, picked up in Act 2, then felt very rushed in Act 3. The point of no return was very abrupt! 

The celebrity cameos felt very gimmicky. The one exception to this is Keanu Reeves, who did a very good job as Johnny. Genuinely brought tears to my eyes at times... but Grimes was just embarrassing! Why was she there! A talented VA could have done Lizzy Wizzy much better, giving her actual emotions instead of just monotone “boredom”.

I don’t know what the point of owning apartments is. You can only sleep in V’s bed, what is the point of looking in the mirror? V has no use for their terminal in their apartment, they never get any messages after the first time they meet Johnny. It was so unnecessary, especially when there’s several across the map. I can access the stash of weapons and clothes from my car! Why would I ever need to go home? Judy gives me her apartment and I’m like, girl, I’m never visiting unless you have a mission to give me.

Also, there are no penalties for not showering or sleeping. I wanted character’s to comment on that! Call me stinky or tell me I look exhausted!

V doing side missions makes no sense, and no explanation is given for why we can do them. Why would V, who is dying and has precious few days left to live, be driving for hours on end to deliver packages and shoot random criminals? When they could be figuring out how to survive the biochip! Who the hell would care about a some extra money or buying every available car for sale, when they’re dying of something that could be preventable?

Some side missions were either very poorly done or obviously majorly glitched, since it felt like they skipped important parts and I was often very confused at the end of them! For example, the Corpo V side mission was so short! I expected to be able to hunt down Abernathy and get revenge for V and Jenkins, but instead, I shoot some random assistant I don’t even remember? And that’s it? Done in 2 minutes! If that! What is the point of that? I didn’t even have fun! Also, what happened to Garry? I wanted to save him but V just never follows up on it.

And, I wish we got closure with T-Bug. The fact that V never bothers to find her body and give her a proper burial was just poor form. 

The endings were not... good. There are technically 6 different endings, all wrapped up into 3 parts. In my opinion, the best ending is the one where V kills themselves and has a very “Arthur Morgan watching his last sunset” vibe. It made me cry. Another good ending is having Johnny take over V’s body forever, as you can really see how much Johnny has changed as a person thanks to V’s influence. But they still felt very... eh and the story just never got that boost it needed, ending before it could take off. In the “best” ending, the Nomand ending with Panam, V ”survives” but has only another few months to live. So they die off screen. Satisfying? Uh, no. Not at all. There’s no possible ending where V has any hope of survival, but I much preferred being there with V until the very end. I disagree with the people calling Johnny’s ending the “bad” ending, because it really isn’t! I ignore all of this of course, and my V is living happily ever after.

I kind of hate that CP2077 has this illusion of options when some are clearly intended to be chosen more than others. Judy and Panam have the best endings in term of romance. Why bother with River and Kerry? Kerry is more of a fling than an actual romance, and is met very late in the game at a point where you can ignore him completely and just end the game, and River’s romance is so glitched that many people can’t even do it fully, and in every ending he dumps you, so it feels like none of it mattered to him despite him being the most “domestic” of the possible LI’s...

Takemura’s ending! He died in my playthrough, because the game didn’t tell me I could save him. That really annoyed me. Also, I recognise that V is in no place to lecture him, and there is some wisdom to his quote: “You speak against corporations yet offer no valid alternative.” But, Goro, bro... anything is better than fascist mega corporations keeping most of the city in absolute poverty, while waging devastating wars against other mega corporations? I wish we could have opened his eyes a little. There’s a good, even ground between Takemura believing Corps to be doing the best for humanity and Johnny being willing to kill 12k people for a revolution. This game went a little “capitalism is bad, but the alternative is worse!” at times, in my opinion. I wish more could have been done against the corporations, instead they just kind of... exist... in the background. And I know, “Realism! “ because we live with massive corporations like Amazon in our lives and can do fuck all about them but we’re not V. V is an absolute unit who survives death multiple times... I wish there had been two paths, like do Johnny’s path and work against the system or do Takemura’s path and work with the system? Sort of like The Witcher 2?

You know how in Saints Row, The Boss has homies they can call on for help? I wanted V to have homies to help them out in fights. It felt pointless building trust with the Fixers only to not have them help out at all with fights against the NCPD/Militech/Arasaka in their territories. 

The stealth mechanics are not good. They are funny! But not very good. Often, It’s better to just attack and save yourself the trouble of sneaking only to get caught by a guard who can see through the back of his head.

The fact that you cannot get arrested and have someone bust you out of jail. Maybe RDR2 set my expectations too high, but I thought this would have been included.

I’ve read about the cut content, and I’m really disappointed they weren’t included in the game. Wall running would have been amazing! And the police hiring mercs to hunt V down? I would have loved to see it! 😔

Driving cars is terrible. Just awful. Sometimes, you crash. Other times you’re flung up into the air and break through the sky into the void, spinning for all eternity.

River’s glitched romance deserves a special mention. The relationship just drops off suddenly and you cannot interact with him properly again. It does not affect the main story at all, so you wonder, what was the point? The text messages also glitch and V will sent messages that you can’t control, leading to disappointing dialogue, like with Joss.

The romances in general were just not all that impressive. I was expecting something great, considering there was only 4 and thought they’d really affect the main story, but I’d only recommend Panam and Judy. I would have played the game just as well without romances, and they felt very unnecessary but I wanted to do one to get the most possible story content. I think we should all leave romances in RPG’s as the exception, not the norm. Some studio’s can do them well, other’s cannot. CDPR cannot, in my opinion...

Obviously the many glitches and bugs, several of which are game breaking. I usually have to reload a save at least once an hour, because an NPC won’t talk to me or I can’t move the mouse to select different dialogue options! Or my gun won’t equip, so I die.

The AI in general is very bad. Sometimes cars will stop in the middle of junctions for no reason, causing you to crash or mount the sidewalk to get past, meaning you’ll likely run someone down and get a police warrant. NPCs just walk from one end of the road and back again, over and over on a loop. It’s very creepy!

The lighting, mostly inside buildings. Everything is pitch black! Why does V not own a flashlight? The amount of enemies I’ve barrelled into and alerted because I couldn’t see is too much.

The lack of dialogue choice, it was less interactive than what I’d been told to expect. There was only two or three options, with one only ever rarely being unique to one of V’s three possible background choices and most will yield the same results with a few exceptions, like avoiding combat.

V’s personality is already decided by the game, and is not really customisable. Do not expect full control over your V’s personality, as they are very much a canon character and exist outside of your (limited) choices. I didn’t expect Baldur's Gate 3 levels of customisation, but I did expect something more like Dragon Age 2’s dialogue wheel? Nice, Sarcasm and Angry? You know?

Obviously, the seizure inducing scenes were very dangerous. I get a headache whenever I have to do a braindance, and I wish it was skippable!

Accessibility as a whole is very much an afterthought in this game, I think. The subtitles are in “speaking English”, so instead of: Hey, how are you? It’s: Heyyy, how’re ya? It is often difficult to understand, and sometimes I just couldn’t work out what was being said.

It’s nitpicky but I wanted to do a pacifist route and I realised you can’t, you need to kill certain character’s... 

The main “villains” such as Yorinobu and Adam Smasher were very forgettable, and V had no personal stake in taking them out. I honestly forgot all about them. Takemura was talking about revenge and I’m like, who? Who are you talking about? Why are we kidnapping Hanako Arasaka, again? Johnny, why would I bother killing Adam Smasher? If they’d personally murdered Jackie, then yeah, I’d understand! But all V needs is to remove the chip and I don’t know... I just didn’t feel anything.

So, to summarise: I think CDPR were out of their depth. The long, very long, troubled development process was an indication of this before the game was even released, and the story I’ve experienced in the game is proof enough. I don’t think they knew what they wanted from this game, and as a result, we have a game that is honestly very confusing and frustrating with a story that always got close to gripping, but never quite makes it. All in all, I found this game to be pretty average. When the bugs are ironed out, I will think better of it. But as it stands, if I had to score it, I would give it a 6.5/10 or maybe 7/10. Good concept, somewhat misguided execution. The best part of the game was the Johnny/V dynamic, but I wasn’t satisfied with how it ended. They needed more time together! Anyway, it will be interesting to see what happens next. 

It's 2007 and somehow, miraculously, Supernatural survives yet another rocky (?) season of mediocre ratings to come back for a third season, or at least, half season, but that season starts out with a real bang! Like, just a real solid trio of an opener for season three. It reminds me of all the things I love about SPN and also it reminds us of all the things that frustrate the hell out of me on SPN. So where did we leave things off?

First up, there’s Dean, who sold his soul to the devil in order to bring Sam back from the dead. Sam, you’ll remember, was part of some overly complicated ponzi scheme to find the perfect vessel to open a door - yep, open a door - and lost to Aldous Hodge who just straight up murders Sam in the season finale. So Dean get’s Sammy back, but in exchange, he’s only got one year left before he permanently moves down south. Oh! And even though they got Sam back and Sam kills Aldous Hodge (RIP pal), they neglected to keep the door from opening. The door to Hell, that is, and now they’ve allowed a shiz ton of demons out to freely roam the earth. Way to go, boys, you lost again! They are two for two on these season finales guys!

OH but they DO kill the Yellow Eyed Demon, so that’s a plus, but not before he plants the most perfect seed of doubt in Dean’s mind - “How do you know what you brought back is all Sammy?” Like, ugh, UGH, ugh!!!! What a way to drive the knife in deeper! What a way to make the heart of this show slowly start to crumble! C’est Magnifique!! *chef's kissy fingers*

So with all that emotional baggage weighing us down, how do we start season 3? How else - with a threesome of course! And also some technicolor grading, it’s wild guys.

Oh boy guys, let’s talk about this opener for a hot sec. I got into it a little bit last season, but as much as I love Dean, you HAVE to admit that that boy is gross. Just like...he’s a little gross. I’m also old enough now to see exactly how many red flags he’s raising through the last 45 episodes. Like, sorry Little Me, but he is not boyfriend material. Not to mention that all this debauchery is 1,000% him distracting himself from the consequences of his own actions, but we’ll get into that later.

Meanwhile, Sam is doing something constructive and trying to figure out how to reverse the curse and save Dean’s soul. And here we have the culmination of two seasons worth of character development - faced with the imminent demise of Dean Samuel Winchester, Sam tries to step up and take care of his brother for once in his life; Dean parties like it’s 1999. There were two things I thought of during this episode - 1) isn’t this not unlike the sort of behavior you see in suicidal people who have finally decided to take their own life? Which is just, like, further held up by the fact that Dean’s big monologue at the end literally has the line “Truth is I’m tired, Sam. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel.” and like...dude, you are NOT ok! Why isn't??? ANYONE??? ADDRESSING THIS????? And 2) Dean is sharing a lot of similarities with the demons in this episode.

Because MEANwhile, there’s demons! So many demons! Specifically, the Seven Deadly Sins ones, but also, spoiler alert, Ruby, who is gettin’ reeeeealll into that ketchup.

All these baddies just really taking advantage of their time topside cuz Hell is, as they so artfully put it, it’s like Hell, so they’re just livin’ it up while they still can ~almost like foreshadowing or something~?!?!?

Real talk though, it being a real long time since I’ve watched this season, it’s these kinds of details that I’m impressed with this time around. There is so much character work that goes into this show and it’s something I definitely connected with the first time around, but not on conscious level. Now I can look at it through time and experience and articulate what I’m seeing, which makes this re-watch infinitely more enjoyable.

Episode 1 of this season continues what they started in season 2 and just keeps building out that Hunter Community. Like, there really is a whole Community out there that keeps in contact and works together and makes sure everyone’s up to date on the latest hot goss, and it all makes John Winchester come off like a real creepy splinter cell lone gunman type. And that in turn makes the Winchester sons look like total, unprofessional boneheads who managed to open a portal to Hell. “UGH Great Jorb Guys, but can we blame them? They’re John’s kids,” is a conversation between hunters that I am headcannoning, but also 100% support.

Honestly, I love the idea of the Winchesters being just these real, like, b-grade, Walmart Brand Hunters that other Hunters are just SO done with. We kind of see a little bit of that with Isaac and Tamara, but by the end of the episode, the Winchesters prove that they’re...better Hunters? I hope somewhere in the next 12 seasons I get an episode that is told from another Hunter’s POV who is legitimately better/more emotionally balanced than the Winchesters and the whole episode is them just, like, cleaning up a bunch of Winchester messes like, SONuvabitch, these two ASSholes. I think we see a fair amount of episodes from the POV of people who are less qualified than the Winchesters who end up being mentored by them, but I’d be stoked for them to run into just a group of people who hate them for totally legitimate, professional vs amature reasons.

Bobby does not count because Bobby signed up to be their Dad and so he agreed to take care of their messes when he took that job.

And then we get to “The Kids Are Alright” which showcases one of my fav changes for this season - BRIGHTLY! LIT! HIGH! SATURATION!!!! And of course, by fav, I mean, Most Hilarious.

I do walk a fine line on this one truth be told. Like, season 1 was definitely going for A Look. It’s super gritty and high contrasty and stylized. Now, I got what they were going for but I wasn’t always crazy about it, mostly because the quality on the DVD’s was terrible. Quick tip for everyone: in order to get 2+ hours worth of content on a DVD, you have to compress the final edit of the program to a pretty small bitrate. When we drop videos onto DVD’s at my work (it isn’t often, thank goodness), the discs themselves only hold, like, 2GB worth of content and that is NOT A LOT when it comes to video files. The more compressed a video file is, the less detail you’re gonna get in the visuals. Watching episodes on Netflix (where everything’s probably at a higher bitrate and therefore is a better quality visual), it’s not bad, but on my DVDs, the compression is so heavy that we get SUPER hot highlights and SUPER crunchy shadows - what a lot of people would called “crushed blacks” because you’ve lost all the detail in the shadows and you’re left with a grainy, noisy, black hole on the screen. Like I lost so much detail in the pilot episode guys, I could not make out this guy’s face.

A rough approximation of my DVD quality. Still recommend it over Netflix for the Accurate Soundtrack tho.

Season 2 SPN toned that Look down a lot, like, a lot a lot. Enough that you still got the general vibe they were going for but not enough that you couldn’t make out faces anymore. But through this whole process, the CW execs kept pushing for the show to look lighter, more colorful, less film noir more...well, CW. And in season 3 it finally happened!!!

I get what those execs were going for, but also, I feel like the colorists on these first few episodes just REALLY went wild out of spite. Lookit this shot from “Magnificent Seven” right before Envy causes some rando innocent bystander to beat a girl to death for her shoes -

GREEN GREEN GREEN GREEN!!!! I WONDER WHICH SIN THIS GUY IS????

Then in “The Kids Are Alright” the birthday party looks like everything is coated in day-glow neon.

The Winchester Bros look like they just got back from 3 weeks in Aruba - LOOK at the saturation levels in these skin tones! LOOK AT THEM!!

My screencap ability aside, only in SPN can a cemetery at night have brighter lighting than a diner in the middle of the afternoon.

This is definitely a thing I will be tracking the rest of the season because I have a distinct memory of a future episode where the brothers have been magically gifted completely different lives where they were never Hunters, they know nothing of Hunting, and they’re completely normal until the end when everything gets snapped back and the episode literally changes colors. V. Excited to see just how saturated this season stays through the end.

But maybe more importantly in “The Kids Are Alright” we learn that Dean does NOT, in fact, have a son. Not that he would be a good father...well...maybe? I mean, this Dean, this season 3, definitely-suicidal, completely-reckless, can’t-keep-it-together Dean, is not good Dad material. Later seasons Dean? Probably fine? Earlier seasons Dean might ALSO be fine? And if he’d found out that Ben was his legitimate kid, it could have made a WORLD of difference, who knows. I know he ultimately does become father-like to Ben and that gives me a lot of feelings. But this Dean is not in a good place to take care of anyone, including himself and really, someone ought to do something about that.

I gotta say, this is an actual bummer. I can’t remember if, in the later seasons, they do any clarifying on this or not, but I am legitimately bummed that Ben is not Dean’s kid and that as far as we know, Dean has no natural children floating around out there with surly attitudes and soft hearts. Dean’s motivation from Day 1 has always been family and despite what comments he may make in early seasons, Dean’s secret desire is to have the wife and the kids and the dog and the white picket fence. And honestly, we’re only 3 seasons in and I just want Dean to have nice things!!

And then guys, we come to “Bad Day at Black Rock,” and I just...WHAT a masterpiece. I had almost NO memory of ever watching this episode before and I don't understand why. What a glorious masterpiece this episode is. Let’s make a list -

More Hunters™, who should be really annoying but were actually kinda charming in a Marx Brothers kind of way

Gordon’s in jail, where he belongs, but also is masterminding a coup against the Winchesters which is A+ spooky stuff

Slapstick comedy that I didn’t know I was missing from my life

Bela F*cking Talbot

Guys, I think this is my fav episode so far purely because I felt, while watching it, that the last 10 years of my life were not in vain and that I had in fact grown as a human person. I remembered hating Bela Talbot. Like, I DID. NOT. LIKE. HER. To the point that I questioned if her British accent was even real. It is, her mother is from the UK and she lived there for a time, but like, honestly, the audacity of Little Me.

This time around? Oh she’s defs my new fav. Just everything about her is like, A+, Great Job, Why-Did-We-Cancel-Her??? Like, oh yeah, probably because somewhere in here they try to shoehorn a romantic side plot with Dean. I don’t actually mind rioting over shoehorned romance, but also, if they’d let this play out for a season or two and then got the two of them to bone? I’m on board. I’m 100% on board.

Maybe it’s just that she is unapologetically out for herself, maybe it’s the fact that she is definitely a match for the Winchesters in a non-murdery way, probably it is both of those things. She's smart, she’s crooked, she has impeccable taste, she’s honestly a helluva lot of fun and I am so excited to see more of her and so BUMMED that she will not make it past this season.

Despite the fact that I absolutely adore all three of these episodes, they also bring up the problem that I was starting to see in season 2 - WHO is this show about? Isn’t it supposed to be about the Brothers as a whole? But the majority of these first three lean pretty heavily on Dean’s emotional arc. Granted, it makes sense. I mean, of COURSE Dean’s demon deal is gonna be the BIG thing in a season where he is literally staring down the barrel, but knowing that there’s a side plot about Is Sam Evil?? seems like...something we should really explore more? I believe it comes up in season 4, or at least, Sam’s demon-blood powers become a bigger deal in season 4, but I would have enjoyed seeing Sam have a more active stake in this season. I can see planting some weird new ticks being planted for Alive-Again Sam that just get weirder and darker and then a mid-season finale or a run up episode to the end of the season where Dean (finally) decides he needs to stop his demon deal because he needs to stick around so he can keep Sam from going completely off the rails. As much as I love Dean 5ever, I do think the show works best when the emotional weight of the season is distributed equally is all. And to be fair to the writers this season, there could have been a bigger plan for something like that but they ran out of time - their season was cut by about a third due to the Writer’s Strike.

Still, all in all, a solid opening to the third season. I want to say that these episodes feel like Classic SPN, but then I remember that this is season three out of fifteen. These ARE Classic SPN. Mostly self contained with enough emotional drama to remind us of the overarching plot. Maybe a little heavy on the emotional drama, but Dean’s only got a year to live and the show’s only got 16 episodes to resolve that crisis, so it’s fine.

‘got tagged by @wancestroll to share some albums I’ve been listening to lately (thank u angel). some musings under the cut. 

This album came out at the end of last year but I stumbled upon it towards the beginning of this year. It has gotten me through some Bad moments and I have had it on repeat variously throughout the year. It’s a really coherent and beautiful neo soul/blues album with excellent production. 

Michael Kiwanuka is so bloody talented it’s almost not fair! It opens up with a BANGER (You Ain’t the Problem), which never fails to make me want to dance and I just put it on repeat when I’m having a bad day. It’s a really beautiful journey through some highs and lows, other personal favourites include Piano Joint (this kind of love) - which always makes me cry and yearn because it’s beautiful - and Hero. 

Michael Kiwanuka is so bloody talented it’s almost not fair! It opens up with a BANGER (You Ain’t the Problem), which never fails to make me want to dance and I just put it on repeat when I’m having a bad day. It’s a really beautiful journey through some highs and lows, other personal favourites include Piano Joint (this kind of love) - which always makes me cry and yearn because it’s beautiful - and Hero. 

It’s the perfect album to blast on sunny days driving around with the windows down because it’s too hot, but it’s also the perfect album to blast when you’re feeling down and want to capture the feeling of a summers day. In short it is gorgeous and I have been obsessed.  

SAWAYAMA - Rina Sawayama

Goshhh this album is just so perfect as a debut album. You would actually be forgiven for thinking this was her second or third full album release, I haven’t been this impressed with a debut album since Tei Shi’s Crawl Space. It honestly sparkles with so much passion and personality. 

She manages to blend so many of my favourite genres into incredible songs that just create such a unique sound, that still sounds incredibly like Rina Sawayama. She draws from such a wide array of influences and experiences - from heartbreaking songs touching on her family to tongue in cheek evaluations of societies obsession with celebrities and wealth.  

It’s fun, it’s heartbreaking, it bangs from start to finish and truly cements Rina as one of the more exciting pop acts at the moment. Highlights for me include: Comme des Garçons (like the boys), Love Me 4 Me and Who’s Gonna Save U Now?. 

It was the perfect soundtrack to a weird, weird year, I could go on for years about this but it would just end up being me screaming and squealing and pointing at every little detail she added (like the concert sounds of who’s gonna save u now?!!!!) 

Petals for Armor - Hayley Williams

This album was probably the one I was anticipating the most this year, from the moment she started dropping hints about PFA I was hooked. As many of y’all will know I am a MAJOR Paramore and Hayley Williams fan, I love the way they have evolved as they have grown up and how it’s weirdly evolved with my own tastes. 

I truly love this album so much, it’s not massively coherent but sometimes albums don’t need to be. Hayley tries out so many different vibes and sounds it makes total sense why she released it as three EPs, giving each of the songs the space they all need in the world before we scrambled to listen to all of them at once. 

It’s also a hugely personal album and as someone who has felt similar feelings of depression and loneliness and grappling with loss and heartbreak I really love how some of the lyrics just really summed up stuff I didn’t even realise I was feeling. 

It starts out very moody and atmospheric and carries us on a journey from anger through to love in such a nice way. There are some duds (I am not a massive fan of My Friend for example) but she delivers them all in such a way I rarely skip songs I don’t love. 

Highlights for me are: Leave it Alone (very atmospheric, very autumnal, very late night walk in the woods, love the imagery and it kills me), Cinnamon (didn’t love this when I first heard it but I was WRONG, it’s really fun and makes you wanna dance and is an ode to loving yourself which we all need a bit more of), Dead Horse (my favourite fuck u song about an ex, it’s cutting where it needs to be and it’s a banger, and it makes me feel like summer and also smashing someone’s car with a baseball bat, and srsly Fuck You Chad), Why We Ever (another one I didn’t vibe with butttt actually now loveeeee so much, it’s so peaceful and full of love and sadness and makes me feel like I’m floating and also like I wanna cry? as someone who has a predilection to self sabotage something good I felt it), Sugar on the Rim (honestly I just wanna dance to this song, preferably in a gay club with pals, it’s so fun and 80s I adore it) and finally Crystal Clear (it makes me feel like I’m floating on a pool of water and serene and peaceful and loved and I’m so happy for her that she can write songs like that, it’s about embracing fear in love and just a really gorgeous song, also the sample of her Grandad’s song is adorable). 

All in all I adore the album and had it on repeat A LOT since it came out, hopefully I will be able to see her perform it live at some point but at this point I am just thrilled that we have been able to experience an album from Hayley Williams like this. 

Flip Phone Fantasy - Ocean Grove

Finally, Flip Phone Fantasy is an album I was introduced to not so long ago (thank u Allie) and I love it. It slaps, it fucks, it is the perfect mad modern nu-metal esque album. 

Again I love the way it blends lots of different genres and sounds and vibes to create something very unique, fun and energetic. I have had this on repeat for about 2 weeks now, so you could say I’m a little obsessed. 

Highlights on the album include: SUPERSTAR (just like a real hot song, love the imagery, wanna dance in a club to it, instead end up just dancing around the house and shower to it instead), GUYS FROM THE GORD (very trance/drum and bass kinda vibes, which I loveeee, reminds me of shady clubs at Uni and going on hikes up Constitution Hill high to watch the sunrise, 10/10 vibes) and ASK FOR THE ANTHEM (another v hot song but in a different way from Superstar, the lyrics are immaculate and the vocal effects are killer, again would party to this song). 

Their first album is also a banger but honestly at the moment this is the kind of vibe I’m going for. Something a little sexy, quite summery, makes you want to dance and also rage at the same time - which is honestly an Eternal Mood. 

also some honourable shout outs to: Chromatica - Lady Gaga, Fumbling Towards Ecstasy - Sarah McLahan, Fetch the Bolt Cutters - Fiona Apple, What’s the 411? - Mary J. Blige, Crisis - Alexisonfire and Die 4 Ur Love - Tei Shi for getting me through this year. 

I am tagging @danielthicciardo, @reynobody, @efe-uno, @alonsista, @j-button and @josefnewgarden1, @laptimedeleted, @mushroom-callum​, @stones-and-water​, @formulaelectrified. 

Wildflower: Chapter 1 [PR!Cal]

Prologue found here

AN: First of all this is dedicated to the anon that sent me the whole Twitch stream. ILYSM. Second fatass shout out to @d-oaks​ for always reading and editing these messes ilysm.

Warnings: brief mentions of drug use towards the end

Word Count: 3.8k

“‘llo?” Calum answered his phone groggily. He had passed out the minute he climbed on to bed with Duke. 

“Ash asked you for one fucking thing. Be nice to Alexis, and what do you do? Fucking yell at her in a parking lot.” Luke’s voice boomed on the other side. 

Duke climbed on Calum’s chest. With his front paws he nudged him because he needed to go.

“Did she fucking tell you that?” Calum rubbed his face as he led Duke out to his yard to do his business.

“No, it’s all over fucking Twitter. God, Cal we don’t need this. Look, we got a meeting with the label at nine. I’ll leave ya to it.” With that Luke hung up.

Calum opened Twitter and there was a video of him and Alexis Ximena. The audio was just the paparazzo talking about them, but anyone with eyes could see what they were doing wasn’t talking. They were arguing. The video ended with Alexis wiping her tears as she walks back to the building. There was another video of them, but this one is of him draping his jacket over her as he leads them to the car. 

"Fuck." Calum said to himself. Most of the tweets are calling him out for being an ass. 

He dropped his phone on the couch. He went over to his kitchen and started on his daily coffee when his phone pinged. It was a Tweet from Alexis Ximena.

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

A loud knock woke Alexis Ximena. Her morning class was cancelled today. She had hoped she would be able to sleep in today after last night. 

“Mande,” she called.

“Get ready, we have a meeting at nine.” Her dad answered from the other side.

She got up after hearing his footsteps fade away, walking to her vanity to check her phone. Her stomach dropped when she saw twitter. Then she was angry. Where the fuck were the paps? She thought to herself. They always have the fortune of getting her and Calum in pretty compromising  positions. Shawn was still mad at her for the pictures from a few weeks ago in which Calum was carrying Karma, her dog. She was on her way to Paris when the pictures were released. 

Alexis Ximena started typing. “I’m fucking done with the media this morning. I was so excited to share some very exciting things, but TMZ beat me to it. A lot of y’all know I’m a huge fan of @5sos. I had the mf opportunity to be working with them on a project that’s V special to me 1/2

Y’all are so quick to start shit. That video only showed a snippet of what happened between @Calum5SOS and I. We’ve been in the studio all day working. If y’all were us, you'd be annoyed too lmao. Have a nice morning and stop hating on him 💛💛 2/2”

She turned off her phone and got ready. For some reason California decided to be 78℉ in the middle of January, so she changed into a baggy polo long sleeve and a skirt, pulling her hair into a low bun. After she finished her makeup and grabbed her converse, she picked up her backpack from the floor. 

When she got downstairs, her dad was in the living room answering some emails. She quickly filled her water bottle and grabbed a few snacks before following him to the garage. She  watched her dad press a button on the mini fridge, and then a platform lifted. It had all the keys to the cars in here. No wonder she couldn’t find shit yesterday. Alexis Ximena has been living here for almost two years, but she still keeps learning about new features in the house. 

The drive to the meeting was pretty short. She checked her phone and rolled her eyes. They were 45 minutes early. She reached inside her backpack for her journal. Panic ran through her veins after she realized it wasn’t in there. That journal was the last gift her mom gave her before she passed away, and Alexis Ximena used it specifically for her song writing. She pulled her phone out and called the studio. After a brief call, maintenance didn’t find anything other than a few used condoms from a different section where she was. 

“Do you know what the meeting is about?” Alexis Ximena asked dad after finishing the call. She sat down again next to him. Her knee bounced as she wondered where she could’ve left it.

“Damage control for the video TMZ leaked.” He replied.

“I tweeted about it when I was getting ready. We should be good no? I haven’t read anything bad since I sent that out.”

“I’m sorry for what they’re going to ask you to do, mi’ja.” He said solemnly.

She rolled her eyes at his melodramaticism. What’s the worst that can happen? 

She sat back and checked her phone. She was replying to Shawn’s message about meeting up at his place for dinner when they were called in. 

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

They had to be joking, they just had to be. They all saw that video of them about to rip each other’s throats out, so the most reasonable thing that occurred to her team and the label was to suggest they try to convince the general public that they have been dating for a while. Lucky for them, they have enough footage of them that can work in their favor.

Calum glanced over to Alexis Ximena. She looked like she had her mind elsewhere. Her eyes met his, and she looked down at the contract. 

She mumbled something to her dad. Her dad whispered back in Spanish. Whatever he said it pissed her off. Her anger was spewing out of her. From the way she was clicking her pen to her furrowed eyebrows. 

“No, this is bullshit.” Calum was the first to respond.

“I agree. I don’t want to be pictured with him.” Alexis Ximena looked over him in disgust.

“Why? Your boyfriend gonna get jealous?” He taunted. 

Alexis Ximena’s face paled and then she glared at him. 

“What boyfriend?” Her dad asked her in a low voice. She quickly responded to him in Spanish.

“Calum,” Michael warned him. 

“What? She needs the publicity.” Calum turned to Michael then he turned to Alexis Ximena. “I wouldn’t be  surprised if you’re the one that called the paps.”

“I need the publicity? I’m not who’s been teasing an album and tour dates.” Alexis Ximena snapped at him. 

Calum’s brows furrowed as he angrily glared at Alexis Ximena. 

“You know what? Why don't we all take ten and reconvene?" the PR lady smiled at Alexis Ximena and Calum. 

Alexis Ximena pushed out of her chair and walked out of the office. Her dad followed behind her.

Calum took the chance to use the restroom. After doing his business, he walked out of the bathroom. Behind the corner, he overheard Alexis Ximena and her dad argue. He stayed hidden because if he walked over, she would probably chew his head off.

"You're a fucking liar. You promised me that you weren't getting involved in my shit." He heard her say. Her voice cracked in the end, like last night.

"Mi'ja-"

"Don't fucking mi'ja me, Alejandro. I'm working my ass off on that soundtrack only for it to get used as a pawn all because some fucking security guard had the fucking nerve to call the paps that the guys were there.”

"If it makes you feel better, I got them transferred to a different place." Her dad spoke up.

"Of course you did.” She scoffed. “Might as well have gotten them fired, no? That really would have shown them.”

“Ximena—” 

“Do you know how hard it is for me? I have to work my ass off and prove myself so that  everyone realizes that I earn my shit. Then you or Amy swoop in, and it all looks like y’all were behind it." She sighed. 

"I know I fucked up as a dad, but I'm trying to fix it. All I'm asking of you is to sign. It's a shit deal, but you need to do it. If I had it my way, this wouldn't be happening." He said.

Calum heard footsteps.

"You can come out now. I can see you through the reflection of the vase." Alexis Ximena told Calum. 

He awkwardly walked over from behind the wall."Sorry, I overheard. I won't-"

"Are you going to sign it?" She asked, cutting him off.

"I kinda have to. We have an album and tour coming up." He repeated her words to her. 

"Right."

"At least they're letting us go about this more organically. They're not forcing us to go to restaurants and dry hump each other like… you know." 

She glared at him. “Let’s get this over with.” 

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

“How the fuck are you even alive? Didn’t you say your dad would have killed you if he found out about him.” Angie asked Alexis Ximena as she lifted her burger.

“I’m pretty sure he’s going to when I get home. He wasn’t about to do it in front of fifteen people, too many witnesses.” Alexis Ximena shrugged. She plucked a fry from the basket. 

After class, Alexis Ximena called Angie, asking to meet her at Umami Burger. Angie and Alexis Ximena instantly became best friends when they got casted in ‘The F It List’. They both faced a lot of criticism because their characters were white. Most of the hate was aimed at Angie because she was black and the main character. People were really mad about that. Alexis Ximena was quick to defend her and call out everyone that made racist comments to her. 

“When are you going to tell him about your situation with Calum?” Angie asked. 

“Later today. He flew down this morning because they made him come for the Grammys. I’m going over after I get Calum a present.” Alexis Ximena explained. She set her sandwich on her plate and reached over for a napkin. “What?”

“You’re getting this dude a present? What is it, a thank you gift? ‘Thank you for yelling at me in a parking lot. Here’s a present.’ You can’t be serious, Alex.” Angie rubbed her temples trying to process. It took everything in her not to call Alexis Ximena out for being a clown that let’s everyone walk all over her. 

“His birthday is on Saturday. After they’re done with their thing, which I have to go to, Luke is playing a little after party thingy in the hotel room. Since I’m his girlfriend ,I have to be there.” Alexis Ximena rolled her eyes and went back to eating. 

After lunch she took an Uber to Diesel. She loved Diesel and most of their clothes had Calum’s current aesthetic. She didn't have much trouble finding him a present. She bought him a black knitted sweater with ‘DIESEL’ across the torso. 

After  she was done, Alexis Ximena hopped on another Uber to Shawn’s condo. She was supposed to go over tonight, but Calum texted her that he had an extra ticket for Coldplay, and she better be ready at 8. She slipped on her sunglasses and covered her head with a hat she bought along with Calum's sweater.

"Hey," she greeted Shawn when he let her in.

"I thought you were coming over for dinner," he said confused.

"I was, but something happened. Uh, can we talk?" she asked. 

"Yeah, let's go to the couch."

He took her hand in his and guided them to the two person sofa. Alexis Ximena's cheeks flushed remembering some of the things they've done on that sofa, specifically her being on her knees in between his thighs. He sat down and pulled her to his chest. 

Alexis Ximena rested her head on his shoulder. She missed this. It's been over a month since they saw each other. The last time was Christmas, but Alexis Ximena had to fly to Melbourne right after for a photoshoot for Vogue Australia. 

"I saw that video of you and Calum. I can't believe he would do that to you." Shawn was the first to speak.

"It was a cleverly recorded video by the paps. All a complete misunderstanding, but his team and mine aremakingusdoapr." She quickly mumbled at the end and hid her face.

"What? I didn't hear you correctly." 

Alexis Ximena sighed, "For damage control or whatever it's called. They're making us you know, date."

"You're kidding me right?" Alexis Ximena shook her head at him. "Did you sign?"

"I had to. They basically used my soundtrack as blackmail. You know how much it means to me." She said, sadly. She played with the hem of her skirt.

"Yeah, but another movie would have come by. We know you get parts thanks to your dad." He said nonchalantly. "Shit, that came out wrong. I'm sorry"

"It's okay, I know you didn't mean it." She dismissed him.

"When's your first outing?"

"Later today. We're going to go see Coldplay, but I rather stay here with you. Can we stay like this for a bit? I miss being in your arms." 

"Yeah, Lexi." He said, pulling her closer to him. 

She cringed at the nickname. She's never liked it because it sounds a bit white to her. She's never 

told him that because she knew it would hurt his feelings, so she lets him call her that. 

A few hours passed and Alexis Ximena was on her way back home. Shawn and her spent them hanging out. A few kisses here and there but nothing too intense. In their year old relationship, they never fully had sex. There was something that always held Alexis Ximena back. She just couldn't bare her soul like that. She loves Shawn with her whole heart, but she's never felt comfortable enough to give herself to him or anyone. Luckily, Shawn is patient and never forces her to do something she's not ready for. 

Alexis Ximena thanked the Uber driver and pushed the door code so she could go into her house. She was half way up the stairs when her dad popped his head out from his home office.

“On’tabas?” He asked. Alexis Ximena almost missed the step when she turned around.

“Before you start, I have to get ready because I’m going out with Calum tonight.” She said.

Her sister squealed from wherever from the top of the stairs. “You’re going out with Calum! I frickin knew it. Ever since I saw you two flirting backstage in the Late Late Show, I was shipping. No wonder Karma loves him. I’m starting to think that he wasn’t there for Luke; he was there for you huh?” Paola gushed in excitement. Alexis Ximena looked at her dad, but he raised his hands in defeat and retreated back to his office. She plastered a fake smile and turned to her sister.

“Promise me you’re not going to say anything. It was supposed to be on the DL, but things kinda started to get out of hand. We’ve only been talking for a few months. Since we’re both not busy right now, we’re gonna see where it goes.” Alexis Ximena said. She was delivering the role of a lifetime. 

 “I’m so happy you’re happy again. After the whole mess with Shawn, I was worried you weren’t going to, you know, find love again. I’m glad it’s with Calum. He’s a really sweet guy.” Paola smiled sincerely.

Alexis Ximena vividly remembered that her sister was ready to fight Shawn when the pictures of him and Camila were released back in July. After their talk back then, Alexis Ximena promised him that she wasn’t going to tell anyone that they were still together. She couldn’t ruin his career on something like that. On top of how he was already ruining his career by being associated with a known racist. They can’t have him as a cheater. 

“Let me pick your clothes. We can’t have you looking like a mess on your first date with Calum.” Paola clapped her hands. She grabbed Alexis Ximena’s hand and pulled her to her room. 

“I’m capable of picking my own clothes. I was on that Instlye’s Top Ten Best Dressed of 2019.” Alexis Ximena tried to tell her, but she was in her own world rummaging through Alexis Ximena’s closet, secretly picking some clothes to borrow as well. 

“Yeah, you were number 3.” Paola said, glancing at her.

“Okay you try beating Zendaya and Tracee Ellis Ross.” Alexis Ximena retorted.

“You’re right,” She went back to sorting through the clothes. “Oh my god! Yes! This is perfect.” 

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

Calum scrolled through Alexis Ximena’s profile. He followed her a few months ago, occasionally liking a post here and there. He was three years deep when he saw a post from her 18th birthday. It was a video of her forearm getting wiped clean showing a wildflower bouquet. 

Then it hit him. He reached for his phone. He continued scrolling through her profile, waiting for Luke to answer him. She even posted an IGTV about her getting her tattoos covered for filming. 

“Why are you calling me? Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready for your big date?” Luke laughed. 

Calum rolled his eyes. “What if we change ‘Sunflower’ to ‘Wildflower’?” He asked, ignoring Luke’s joke.

“You’re still on that? I thought you said you were okay with Sunflower. Why?” 

“I mean other than the fact that Harry literally has a song in his new album called that, Alexis Ximena has a wildflower tattoo—”

“But that—”

“Let me fucking finish.” Calum grumbled, “So I was thinking since we’re dating, I could have a song that’s quote on quote about her. What do you think?”

“I mean, yeah. Ask the rest and see if we have time to change up the song. When are we dropping the trailer?” 

“Early February along with No Shame, I think. We have Friday reserved in the studio. Maybe we could redo the song. Oh shit, we’d have to record Kill My Vibe as well, huh” 

“Oh, I forgot about that song, fuck. Okay, I’ll text Ashton and Michael. We’ll talk about it and fill you in. Let me nap and go get ready for your date.” Luke hung up. 

Calum rolled his eyes. They’re going to a concert, not to some gala or award show. The only thing he had to do was brush his teeth and slip his coat that his sister sent him as an early birthday present. 

He walked over to the fridge so he could reheat leftovers from the other day. While he waited for his food to heat up, he fed Duke and let him wander around the yard until he pooped. Calum decided to stir the pot a bit while he ate his pad Thai. 

He went into one of Alexis Ximena’s fan accounts and liked their current post. It was a video posted on her stories a few hours ago. She was pushing her hair over her shoulders and looking over her shoulder to the camera, her go-to pose, while her sister hyped her up. He locked his phone and waited for a few minutes and unliked it. Within those minutes, a screenshot of the like was getting spread through his fans’ accounts and hers. 

Around 7:50, Calum changed out of his sweats into some jeans. After making sure Duke was good for the rest of the evening, he grabbed his keys, wallet, and journal from the counter. He’s assuming that the journal is Alexis Ximena’s. It’s black leather bound with “AX” etched in gold. It exudes a rich girl that doesn’t know how to spend money, he had thought to himself when he found it. 

When he drove out his house, he spotted Alexis Ximena outside her’s. You had to be blind to not see how beautiful she is, how she carries herself with grace and humility. It’s a shame that it’s all a facade, deep down she’s just another LA girl. 

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

“Hi,” Alexis Ximena said when she climbed in his car. “Oh, here’s your jacket. If I knew we were going to meet up earlier. I would’ve given it to you then.”

“Keep it for now. When we break up, I can get it back.” He said, not even glancing to look at her. Alexis Ximena simply nodded. 

She scrolled through Instagram. Ever since Shawn’s 21st party when someone leaked a video of her and Shawn standing close to each other and talking, Shawmila accounts have dedicated their time to tagging in her posts of their faves. They could be doing more productive things like streaming  their fave’s album or buying  tickets for Camila’s tour instead of tagging her in posts because neither her album and tour isn’t doing so good. 

“Is this yours?” Calum asked her, holding up her journal. They were in Calum’s car. They still had a few minutes before the venue people could go in. 

Her eyes widened in surprise. 

“Oh my god, thank you so so so so much. I was worried I lost it. It’s the last birthday present my mom gave me before she—” 

Overdosed, shoving fentanyl down her throat only for Alexis Ximena to find her dead in a pool of vomit when she came back from an audition to Julliard. 

She cleared her throat, “When she, um, passed away.”

Calum instantly regretted what he thought about her spending her money on unnecessary things. He watched her trace the A. 

“I’m sorry for your loss. You don’t have to answer, but when did she pass away?” He asked solemnly.

“Um, a little over two years ago. It’s actually the reason why I moved down to LA with my dad. They split up when I was little, and I stayed in Oakland with her.” She explained. 

She looked over to Calum. He was processing everything she told him. Before he could ask her another question, she looked at her phone. 

“We should get going.” She unbuckled the seat belt. 

“Right.” He nodded along. He noticed how she quickly changed the subject, making it obvious that she was still not comfortable talking about her mother’s death.

“Are you a pancakes or waffles guy?” She asked him. She was a few steps ahead of him. 

“A what?” Calum gave her a confused look.

“You know how in Cloak and Dagger when Tandy and Tyrone go to that club. Tandy and Tyrone pretend to be a couple to get through.” She turned to him, pushing her hair behind her. “From the look on your face you don’t even know about Cloak and Dagger.” 

“No.” 

“Cloak and Dagger is a show. It’s so good. I’m really disappointed they cancelled it. Anyways, the pancakes and waffles reference is for hand holding. Like do you clasp your hand around, pancakes, or do you intertwine your fingers, waffles. I’m a waffles girl, which sucks because Shawn is a pancakes guys and—”

“Waffles.” Calum cut her off. The last thing he wanted to hear was her talk about Shawn.

“Okay,” She reached for Calum’s hand and intertwined his fingers with hers. “Waffles is it.”

My Devil May Cry Game Ratings

Alright so I finally finished playing all the Devil May Cry games (barring DMC2 and DmC), so I wanted to write out my thoughts and reviews of the games in order of my favorite to least favorite. I played the games in the order of 5, 4, 3, then 1.

#1: Devil May Cry 5

DMC5 was my introduction to the series. I first watched a whole play-through of the game as background while I was working on a research project, but it looked so fun that I bought it on the steam summer sale and I loved it as much as I thought I would. The combat is intricate and fun, and I’m still discovering new tricks and play-styles (I think I’m on my third play-through of the game??). I love V’s character, but on my first play-through I didn’t know the story of the DMC universe, so I was disappointed when he turned back into Vergil. Now that I’ve played through all the games though, I love the story even more and I understand now how V is an important step in Vergil coming to terms with his humanity (also I love Vergil too now). Having played the other games too I can now see all the references this game makes to the previous games as well which is really cool.

Overall 10/10 this is my new favorite game and has beat out Bayonetta as being my favorite game of all time.

#2: Devil May Cry 4

As previously stated, I’m a huge Bayonetta fan, so you can imagine my excitement at all the parallels between this game and Bayonetta (aesethically, story-wise, etc.). However, DMC4 is definitely not a finished game, so I’m actually glad that Bayonetta basically stole the concepts of DMC4 and made them better. 

The start of this game is my favorite out of all the DMC games. I love the scene of Kyrie’s performance in the church while Nero battles demons in the street, and I think this does a really good job of setting the scene for the game. Fortuna is aesthetically beautiful, and the game’s music is fantastic (I’ve had “Out of Darkness”, “The Idol of Time and Space”, and “Shall Never Surrender” on repeat for the past few weeks). Having finished DMC1, I can see now too that Fortuna, Fortuna castle, and the enemies take a lot of inspiration from Mallet Island in DMC1. 

Combat wise, I loved playing as both Nero and Dante. After playing DMC5, Nero’s combat felt a bit lacking, but nevertheless I had fun smacking demons around with the buster arm. I adored playing as Dante, and I enjoyed his combat style more than Nero’s. HOWEVER, this brings me to the game’s biggest flaw: while Dante is super fun to play as, his levels are absolutely awful. Instead of creating a new area for Dante to explore while trying to save Nero, the entire 2nd half of the game is spent backtracking through all of the Nero levels. Like seriously Capcom?? I was aware of the backtracking before playing this game but having basically half of the game backtrack through the first half is ridiculous. The areas themselves also felt disconnected. Fortuna, Fortuna Castle, and the jungle all were interesting areas on their own, but it doesn’t make sense going basically from Italy, to a frozen mountaintop, to a jungle, all on a single island. 

All in all though, I’d give this game a 7.5/10. While repeated sections were annoying, the combat was fun and I love the aesthetic of the game and its soundtrack. Also Nero and Kyrie’s relationship is adorable.

#3: Devil May Cry 1

This might come as a surprise, but I enjoyed DMC1 more than DMC3 (but I’ll get to this more in the next section). 

First, I’m glad I played all the DMC games in reverse order. When I first picked up DMC1 after completing DMC5, I was shocked with how awful the camera system and general gameplay was, so I put down DMC1 to replay DMC5. However, when I came back to DMC1 after playing all the other games, I had become adjusted to the lack of features in each game, so I no longer felt as annoyed with the camera and gameplay. In fact, I enjoyed the gameplay a lot more than I thought I would. I imagined that the game wouldn’t live up to today’s gaming standards, but I was pleasantly surprised with how much I enjoyed the combat. I missed having access to the different playstyles of future games, but this Dante’s gameplay almost felt like a mix between trickster and gunslinger, so his combat style was not as empty as I thought it would be. 

Much like DMC4, I also really enjoyed the aesthetic of this game. Having played DMC4 before DMC1, I almost had “reverse nostalgia” for the scarecrow enemies and the castle aesthetic. I also really liked the level designs. While the levels in DMC4 felt disconnected, I could see the areas (castle, canyon, coliseum, pirate ship, etc.) all existing on one island together. In terms of bosses, I wish that there had not been repeat fights. While I loved seeing V’s familiars having a role in this game (again, “reverse nostalgia”), I could’ve done with a couple less Nightmare and Nelo Angelo fights. 

In the end, my biggest complaint about this game is that it’s too short. I started this game at 5pm yesterday, and I’ve completed it in under 5 hours. While the game is short, it felt like there was almost no plot until the very end of the game when you fight Nelo Angelo Vergil. I wish they would’ve expanded upon the story and included more information on Sparda and Eva and Dante and Vergil’s childhoods, but I understand that this game was the first in the series and made in 2001. 

Overall, I’ll give the game a 7/10. While I can’t imagine myself replaying this game (especially since there’s no other playable characters besides Dante), I had an overall pleasant time playing this game.

#4: Devil May Cry 3

First, while DMC3 is the last game on this list, I want to clarify that I enjoyed all 4 games, and this game is almost tied with DMC1. However, there are just some choices in the game that made this game a less enjoyable experience for me. 

Combat wise, while it took me some time to adjust to only having one style at once, DMC3 has my favorite weapon set out of all the games. I loved played with Cerberus in DMC5, so I was excited to have the opportunity to use this weapon again in DMC3, and the same goes for Beowulf and Kalina Ann. While I didn’t use it that much, I also adored the Nevan weapon, and it seems like a perfect weapon addition to the game series (if only we could’ve seen something similar in DMC5!). I also enjoyed the story of this game. It was nice getting more of a backstory on Dante and Vergil, and Dante definitely grew as a character by the end of the game. It was also nice finally seeing Lady’s backstory. Arkham/Jester annoyed me, and one of my favorite parts of the game is when Vergil basically goes from “I need to begin the all important ritual” to “Okay we need to get rid of this clown ASAP”.

But, what this game makes up for in storytelling, it lacks in general gameplay and aesthetic. The game’s aesthetics almost felt bland, and many areas in Temen-ni-gru were just brown/grey stone. I also wish the early enemy design went outside of the “grim reaper” aesthetic. While I know others have different opinions on the matter, I feel that DMC3′s aesthetic was very one note, and suffers from the opposite problem of DMC4. In terms of gameplay, I felt that most of the item quests did not make sense and were unnecessary. For example, many of the doors require orichalcum to open, but randomly finding a piece of orichalcum on the ground doesn’t make sense story wise. I remember a level specifically where you have to drop down to the library to find a key item, but the library is even before the start of the level.

Compared to this, the item quests and backtracking in DMC1 made sense. For example, finding a key in a room in a castle to use on another door in a castle makes sense. Even weirder item quests, such as finding the trident to open the door, make more sense than DMC3 missions. While I do not know what orichalcum does or what it is, in one of the rooms in DMC1 there is an item with 3 holes in it, and it makes sense that the trident item gained later on would go in this space.

Finally, one of my biggest complaints about this game is the boss battles. Now I might just suck at video games, but it took me way too long to defeat some of the bosses on Devil Hunter. For example, it took me longer to figure out the Vergil fights than it did for me to complete DMC1. Bosses like Beowulf also sucked due to relying on the smaller eye hitbox. In contrast to DMC1 as well, these bosses were at the end of a level, as compared to being a separate mission, so if I wanted to leave and come back later, I’d have to replay the entire mission first. 

Overall, I’ll give the game 6/10. Will I replay it? Possibly, I know I can play as Vergil, so it would be fun learning his moveset. However, a game’s aesthetic is almost more important to me than gameplay (that’s just a me thing), so I’m not sure that I would enjoy playing through the levels again due to their lackluster design.

Ending Thoughts

And that’s my rating on (almost) all the DMC games! While some of the gameplay in the earlier games was annoying, I definitely love this series, and I plan on reading the extra novels/mangas outside the game (I’ve already watched the anime). Hell, I’ll probably read some William Blake and the Divine Comedy itself.

Let me know what your ratings are! I’d love to hear everyone else’s lists. 

I have been unbelievably busy for all of 2020 so far. Starting a new job and crunching to finish an old one, it's been very good but it has also meant that I haven't had the downtime I'd have liked in order to write long screeds about when drums sound good in songs so my December and January playlists unfortunately never got finished. They will exist as 'lost' playlists in the grimelords canon where you will simply have to listen to them and have your own thoughts about the songs instead of having your judgement clouded by me saying things like 'this sounds nice' and 'I love when the guitar goes woo-eee'.

You can listen to them here:

December https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4crPEVSPwftPpWl14xUrXF

January https://open.spotify.com/playlist/25MP7onYLCwWRYBIi0u3yc

As far as this, my February playlist goes: It's great! It's two and a half hours. The songs sounds nice and the guitars go woo-eee. I was worried I wouldn't be able to listen to as much music with my new job but it turns out I'm listening to more than ever which is extremely nice. Please enjoy, and if you'd like to subscribe to this playlist please do so here: https://tinyletter.com/grimelords

Listen to this playlist here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3ZraEZOeS6qvVxfnz3AJS9

Ballad Of The Skeletons - Allen Ginsberg, Paul McCartney, Phillip Glass and Lenny Kaye: I had a dim childhood memory of this 1996 Hottest 100 funny skeleton song that my sister randomly brought up this month and was was shocked to find out that somewhere deep in my brain the part where the electric chair skeleton says “hey what’s cooking???” was still stored. I was also shocked to find out that the funny skeleton song I remembered from when I was a kid was actually a collaboration between Allen Ginsberg, Paul McCartney and Phillip Glass and was an unexpected hit on MTV and Triple J in 1996 for an as yet unknown reason.

I Can Go With You - Sam Burton: This song came up in my Discover Weekly, and I was so excited to listen to more of this 70s singer songwriter I've never heard of before who has no doubt had a long and illustrious career and was shocked to find out that not only is this song from 2020, it is also the first and so far only release by Sam Burton and his debut album is coming out sometime this year. I love how plain it is, and the first time I heard it it made no impression on me until a couple of hours later when I realised I was humming the melody to myself. It has this decepitive simplicity to it, and it sounds like a song you've always known which is really about as good a compliment as you can give a song. I also love this statement from him: “I was writing a song a day for 30 days as a personal challenge to myself. I Can Go With You came near of that practice and I considered it a throwaway at the time. After recording most of the album I still needed a couple more songs and decided to throw it on and we recorded it live followed by two others. When I listened back it ended up being one of the tracks I was happiest with on the record.” I love when artists are asked about songs and they have no divine inspiration to relate, just a process of daily work where they're like "well, I wrote it, like I always do. Did the chords and the words and everthing just like normal. I write hundreds of these things and this one came out pretty good. I don't know what else to tell you."

Wild Dogs - Colter Wall: This is a song by Billy Don Burns who you can probably expect to see on this playlist next month, and who as I understand it is one of these 'real' country guys that have been around for a million years and only ever had success when other people sang their songs. So it's very nice of Colter Wall to continue that tradition for him. I love the way this song takes the metaphor to a place of almost uncomfortable literalism, a tryst metamophising into something private, bloody and feral. The subtle way the lap steel whines slowly along in the background before stepping out and taking centre stage once the song picks up steam near the end is a marvel too.

Tom's Diner - Suzanne Vega: I had a live version of this randomly recommended to me by youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkYPge6ZKSQ and it made me see this song that I'd always been sort of aware of in a new light and really properly appreciate it for the first time. Somehow I'd never noticed the last verse where it moves from literalism to memories, and of course that's sort of the moment that ties the whole song together. What I really appreciate about the acapella arrangement is that it feels like this is a song that's existed a million times before but she's the first person to actually write it down and record it. Everyone's made up a little dishwashing song or a little walking song, reciting some to-do list in your head. It's an entire genre that exists under people's breath for a few minutes and gets immediately forgotten.

If You Don't Know Now, You Never Will - Drugdealer: I could have sworn this was a Tobias Jesso Jr song. I really just assumed it was until I looked at the credits. It's such a nice song though and I'm glad this sort of 70s californian vibe is making a quiet comeback because it is just uniformly pleasant and it's nice to hear these sorts of arrangements, with the accenting violin runs and things like that. All the extra decorations and ornamentations that have sort of disappeared.

Crimson Tide - Destroyer: I absolutely love this new Destroyer album because it just feels like such pure uncut Destroyer. I’ve always thought of him as a sort of 400 year old vampire lounge singer who is just amusing himself at this point and so the cover art has really confirmed my suspicions on that front. The lyrics through this whole album are so good, the sort of stream of consciousness strangeness like ‘when lightning strikes twice the funeral goes completely insane’ that takes a on such gravity because he sings it with complete deadpan seriousness.

Truth (feat Alicia Keys and The Last Artful, Dodger) - Mark Ronson: I didn't really give this album a chance when it came out but ever since I found out Alicia Keys is good now (Time Machine) I've been looking for more good Alica Keys work and found one here. The Last Artful, Dodger is one of the worst artist names I think I've ever heard but she absolutely kills it on the way she says biiiiitch so I'll forgive it.

Surf & Turf - Boldy James + The Alchemist: Alchemist's production on this whole album is so incredible. He really just lets Boldy go and doesn't get in his way like good production should. Especially on the opening verse where Boldy James sticks with that loping flow for so long in 3s over 4 that matches that arpeggios in the beat, it's just a perfect harmony of rapper and producer.

Fat Mac - Duke Deuce: Misogyny in rap is a real issue that nobody seems really allowed to talk about because it's obviously very complicated, and this song some real classic 'stay in the kitchen' type woman hating in it and is basically incredibly callous and cruel throughout. However this beat is hot and there is also a part about a third of the way through where he says "fuck her till that pussy fart" and then makes a big fart noise, so.

Set It Up (feat. Trina) - Kamaiyah: I only found out about Kamaiyah's fantastic 2016 album A Good Night In The Ghetto about two weeks before her new one came out so I've been on a real Kamaiyah hype for a little while now. She's just fantastic. I love this song because I love the part where Trina seemingly out of the blue threatens to piss in my mouth. The first time I heard it I said 'wow!' out loud.

Come As You Are - Greg Phillinganes: There's something going on with the pop math in this song that I just can't put my finger on. It feels for all intents and purposes like this should be a hit. The melody is great. The big synth voice is great, it's got extremely fatty bass. It's great! But something about the structure of it is just off, it's got too many sections or something. Which kind of makes me love it more really.  

Devotion - Pure Bathing Culture: What surprised me the most about this song is the secret shredding happening throughout. It feels like a sort of clean and cool guitar that hasn’t existed in the wild since the Lethal Weapon soundtrack and it adds such an energy to this already completely wonderful song.

Paper Cup - Real Estate + Sylvan Esso: The production on this song is just so beautiful. The violin melody and the pillow soft synths really add such an extra dimension to it. The tone on everything really. The guitar in the solo. Every time I listen to this song I just want to listen to it again because it goes down so smooth.

Mark Zuckerberg - Nap Eyes: I’m a very big fan of the way this song transitions from a sort of TMBG novelty song halfway through into a lonely and beautiful thing instead. It’s like he got distracted and wandered off in the middle of his set but the camera followed him. I also haven’t heard a lyric in a long time that made me bark laugh so instantly as “And what does he do with all that sand? He collects sand right? I think I read that somewhere. Seems innocent enough.”

Viking Hair - Dry Cleaning: I fell in love with this band immediately on hearing this song. The way the spoken lyrics sit in a place of almost coherence, dipping between mysterious phrases and earnest admissions feels like Life Without Buildings for a new generation. I love the feeling of a huge crush at the centre of this song that comes through achingy in every single word, even when she's talking about abandoned refrigerators.

LeBron James - Do Nothing: This is my number one song this month I think. I've listened to it every single day and I cannot wait to see what this band does once they've got more than a couple of songs out. It's my absolute favourite kind of lyrics: the kind that sounds like you just wrote down every one-sided phone conversation you overheard on the bus and then the music is some halfway point between Black Midi and Franz Ferdinand. What else do you need!

Can I Receive The Contact? - The Spirit Of The Beehive: The Spirit Of The Beehive's album is one of the best I heard this month. The way the production incorporates sound collage and samples without diluting the immediacy of the songwriting is really something special that feels hard to pull off in a rock context but sounds effortless through this whole album. The way this shifts at the end into the odd time section is so great and really the way the whole album flows like one long track is just amazing. Please listen, I'm obsessed.

An Air Conditioned Man - Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever: There is so much space in Rolling Blackouts songs. They just go and go, sitting in this great jam space without feeling shaggy. The tempo across the album stays pretty consistently at this breezy, upbeat, driving speed that makes it feel like as soon as one song ends the next one just picks up exactly where it left off. It almost feels like a studio confines them and they'd be better off just recording their album live at a show where every song can go for 8 minutes like it wants to.

Leak -Truth, yesnoyesnoyes- - Boris: I got to see Boris and Merzbow this month, which was a great treat for me but it was also at a seated theatre venue which was a very strange choice. Sitting down and clapping politely as Merzbow pressed the screaming button feels odd, like being at an 1800s World's Fair show about the wonders of electricity or quite literally like being the guy in the chair getting blown away by the speakers in the Maxell ads. I bought earplugs for the show but ended up pulling them out for the last three songs or so to properly experience it, and it was fucking great. Something I was thinking about after the show is that it's interesting how Boris mostly have clean vocals, and really approach metal as an idea from and angle that's more shoegaze than Slayer. Aside from the immense volume, there isn't a lot about their music that I would describe as agressive, even most of what Merzbow added to the set was just extra feedback frequency noise, not atonal agression. I don't mean this in a trve kvlt way, more like it's interesting how they've taken the aesthetics of metal and refined them into pure amplifer worship, in their words, by either playing straight drone, or just playing normal hard rock at inhuman volumes. Boris are very good is what I'm saying, and I can't wait to listen to more of their extremely large discography.

Nameless Streets - Defeater: I've never really listened to much hardcore and I'm not really sure why. I've listened to Defeater's first two albums to death though so maybe it's time to branch out. What I love about this song, and this band in general is the vocal delivery. In a lot of agressive music from metal to screamo, because the agression and emotion is always sitting at a 10 the nuance can get lost and it becomes a sort of white noise, but Defeater have a nice way of backing off musically and vocally here and there to let the hard hits really hit hard. The outro to this song is also some absolutely world class snare work, building a tension bed in the simplest way thats relieved when the rest of the band comes crashing back in.

Boys In Town - Divinyls: I love the true desperation in this song. The trapped in a small town, surrounded by fuckers stress that gives way in the second half to just screaming "get me out of here!!". I am also interested in the evolution of the phrase 'too much, too young' and would like to know whether this song is referencing the song by The Specials, and if the Defeater song on this playlist is referencing this song or The Specials song, or if all three came up with it independently. It's a simply enough phrase, I suppose they could have. Who cares, really.

Body By Crystal - Spike Fuck: Come on a journey with me and imagine a world where Alex Cameron makes good music. That's Spike Fuck! The sort of burned out, past their prime singer desperate for a hit in any sense type of character - except actually put together with some heart and emotion and not an 80s comic book writer's understanding of human lows. I cannot wait to hear more from Spike Fuck.

Rogue Wave - Aesop Rock: It is something of a marvel how consistently high quality Aesop Rock's work is. For all his verbosity and expansive vocabulary he seems to never veer into white guy rap god flexing for the sake of it. Even a song like this that's 3 minutes of dense verses with nothing resembling a hook doesnt feel exhausting, it just feels like a series of extremely pleasing words and images like "take it where the warlocks lock horns, soda pop, popcorn / top notch gore set to Bach over fog horns" that makes my brain go "nice".

Momentary Bliss (feat. Slowthai and Slaves) - Gorillaz: I love the strange rollout Gorillaz are doing for this album, building the tracklist one song at a time. It's a nice way to force close listening, especially in songs with odd structures like this. I love hearing how different prouction changes Slowthai's approach; on this and Deal Wiv It that he did with Mura Masa it feels a lot brighter than anything on Nothing Great About Britain and there's a playfulness in his flow that comes through accordingly. Gorillaz are always moving around musically but I love how much of a live band feel this has compared to the more studioy sound that killed their last album for me.

We Will Always Love You (feat. Blood Orange) - The Avalanches: I am so excited at the possibility of a new Avalanches album already, and this is the perfect song to have as a lead single because it functions more like a teaser. Like 'would you like an hour more of this kind of beautiful, loving dream?'

Tar Sequence - Lalo Schifrin: I found out a little while ago that the local news theme when I was growing up was actually this song from the score to Cool Hand Luke, and according to a bunch of other guys in the youtube comments it was the local news theme for a lot of stations across America as well. The scene is of a prison road gang working under the blazing sun, and I'm sure someone could write a thinkpiece about the soundtrack to the nightly news, and really the platonic ideal of news themes in general stemming from the score to a scene about prison labour. But not me! I'm just going to write this little post and say we all owe Lalo Schifrin our lives for inventing the sonic pallette of kung fu AND the news, which is an incredible achievement whichever way you slice it.

When You - Tha Pope: It's a little bit of a shame that footwork is 'over' now but I suppose that's the way of things. The intro to this song is an absolute all timer for me. The delay soaked tag, the extended organ lick and then a total gear shift into this shrieking vocal sample that sounds like something has gone wrong but is revealed in actuality to be the centre of the whole track. I absolutely love Pope's little adlib at the start, and halfway through when he brings it back - it injects some real humanity into this cacophonous, volatile song and lets you know someone's done this on purpose, they've not just turned every dial to 10 and pressed play.  

Jonny/Jonny (Reprise) - Faye Webster: I am absolutely in love with the tone of Faye Webster's voice and especially the way she slowly slides up to the note at the end of every line in the verse. This is a song that belongs to the great genre of songs that sound like they were entirely written and performed while laying on the floor and staring at the ceiling. The reprise here comes back at the end of the album and I love it so much. It feels like a Sex And The City monologue set to music, an underexplored genre I'd definitely like to hear more of.

Holes - Matt Berninger: Matt Berninger of The National covered Mercury Rev's Holes for a series of charity 7"s that Planned Parenthood are doingand I really love his take on it. It's a difficult song to cover because it is so beloved, and I think he does really well to not smooth out the arrangement into any sort of easy listening version. The rumbling piano and the extra vocals that mirror the original saw sound near the end are just wonderful. The part that always breaks my heart in this song is the "bands" line at the end and he really does it perfectly without being overdramatic.

Ta Aro - Nadia Reid: I love the way this song is just soaked in tension and potential energy. She has a beautiful way of holding a note just past the edge of her breath, like when she sings 'glory hallelujah' or 'I am stronger' and in the wordless refrain that just draws me in. Then the way it all closes in on itself and shadows close in at the end while it swells to this beautiful thunderstorm of sound. Just great.

Purify - Neurosis: Someone had a tweet a while ago that was like 'listen to a new album every day in February and write about it' and I thought 'fuck it why not' and started doing that. I kept a little note in my phone of every album I listened to that I'd never heard before, and I ranked them out of 5 so I could remember which ones I liked. I ended up listening to 49 new albums which surprised me, and it was surprisingly easy to do as well so I've decided to keep doing it in March as well. Highly recommended. A nice side effect of constantly searching for new things to listen to is it's given me a chance to hear bands that I've always heard about and know the name of but never actually listened to for one reason or another, which is how I got to Neurosis. It's nice to hear this kind of industrial 90s metal that I'd only ever previously heard in Tool from another angle, and it is especially nice to hear bagpipes in a drone metal context - a thought I'd had independently about a week before hearing this album and was glad to have willed into existence before me.

Shallow Sun - Real Estate: Time! I love a song about aging that mentions specific years and ages so you can count along on your fingers. '25 in 2010... so he was 24 when they put out in their first album.. 39 in 24.. so he's... 35 now.. and i'm 28... which means I'm... 3 albums behind..'

Quand Vas Tu Retrer - Melody's Echo Chamber: I'll listen to any song in 5/4. It is simply groovy. This song is so beautifully textured it feels like you can just get completely lost in the sound while the groove moves it along.

Living Through Another Cuba - XTC: I think I've posted this song on one of these playlists before but fuck it, the more time passes the more I think this might be one of the best songs ever written and a complete and total encapsulation of the cold war mood. The absolute maniac resigned powerlessnes on full display, screaming and shouting about pullings fins from an atom bomb and the absolute certainty that even if the world isn't destroyed this time it'll all come around again soon enough anyway.

Time - U.S. Girls: I am a huge proponent of the long song at the end of the record as a concept, and really I believe every song should be the long song at the end of the record if at all possible. This amount of colour in this jam is just incedible, it never gets weighed down or waylaid it just keeps moving though an ever shifting kaleidoscope and I absolutely love it. It also reminds me of Los Bitchos who were on one of my secret lost playlists from December so it's nice to have their vibe represented here at least. This song also interestingly ties into a thought I was having this week about the limits of music wherein time is the only immutable constant. In all of life music is an inescapable constant of course, but in music especially compared to visual art or written art, time is an inexorable force. You simply cannot bend time in music, a song or performance will always have a duration that will define it, short or long, which cannot be muted or played with in the same way that rhythm or tonality can. 4'33" is a good example of that, being devoid of everything except time. When there is nothing, there is still time. Canyons of time.

Bad Magic - Weyes Blood: I got to see Weyes Blood a couple of weeks ago and I feel extremely blessed that I did. She's just amazing. She played this song solo as her last encore, and she's in a sort of interesting position of blowing up majorly on her fourth album so people (myself included) weren't overly familiar with her older stuff. So when she said 'this is a song called Bad Magic' everyone clapped politely and one woman right up the back screamed "oh my GOD??" which is the kind of personal, just for her, singular experience I'm always here for. Hearing this song for the first time in that setting has really made me fall in love with it. The thing that's always alienated me a little abot Weyes Blood's earlier work, and the thing she changed so dramatically on Titanic Rising is the structuring of her songs. Titanic Rising embraces pop songwriting so wonderfully where her earlier work was so much shaggier and harder to access as a result - but in this song I love it. This song is meandering and long and wanders around in circles and I'm here for every second of it.

Listen to this playlist here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3ZraEZOeS6qvVxfnz3AJS9

spoilers My thoughts on KHMoM

Although I’m not done with the game yet I already finished the story, and with 30 hours of game time under my belt I think it’s enough to share my thoughts on it, both good and bad:

At first I thought Kairi’s narration would come to a close with her retelling the memories of her heart to someone (Ienzo, Ansem the Wise, etc), but it’s obvious by the fact that she mentions things there’s no way she could know of that the narration is more likely for us the players. This took me out of it a little because it couldn’t fit with MoM’s story; yes they were searching Kairi’s heart and it would have made sense if it was only Kairi’s perspective, but a lot of it has no place in her memory at all. It was just the franchise’s recap, and anybody else could have been narrating. Chirithy could have been a better option since he may actually know a lot more than Kairi does.

Alyson Stoner does a good job voice acting, but she’s not good at voicing Kairi. Her narration sounds more like Xion than Kairi, so you can tell she’s not able to separate them like Jesse does with Ven and Roxas. Alyson’s hoarse raspy voice in the narration gives Xion vibes, but idk if she was directed to do so because in KH3 her Kairi actually sounds a little more high pitched than she does in the narration of MoM.

Although the mapping of some songs could have been better I immensely enjoyed most of the songs in the game. I played in Proud mode and it felt balanced, challenging and fun.

The memory tracks were fun as well since the slight difference in gameplay, and I liked how they adapted it to boss battles as well.

Mickey changing outfits depending on what team you’re using is nice. I especially appreciate his look with the black coat it looks so silly I love it xD

I can’t believe there are 6 songs for Neverland plus Ruler or the Sky’s theme and “Neverland Sky” did not make the final cut goshdangit.

I’m genuinely surprised there were no Pirates of the Caribbean tracks. Probably something to do with copyright.

Seeing Aqua fly was lovely she looks so graceful and pretty I loved it QwQ

I appreciated that One Winged Angel made it, it was a pleasant surprise xD

Original Simple and Clean was nice but I was kinda hoping we’d have at least one of the remixed versions. Oh well.

It was so strange being able to interrupt Aqua’s animations to have her attack or jump because of how I used I was to having to wait for all her animations in BbS xD I mean it was nice! But it felt weird like ‘woah I can do that???’ Crazy stuff.

To this date KH3D is one of the games I like the least of the franchise and after playing the songs I realized how much I don’t like its soundtrack either xD Only songs I can actually hum from memory is All for One. For me most of the Disney world songs are pretty meh.

I can see what they were going for adding the extra Disney songs of Circle of Life, Beauty and the Beast and A Whole New World but because they can be kinda slow songs I don’t feel like they fit so good for a rhythm game? Specially Beauty and the Beast I did not like as much.

Seeing Elsa being shoved on the back of the box felt so shameless from Disney’s part you can tell they had Square at gun point and told them to have her there. That and also that Arendelle’s song was Let it Go instead of the actual world song like the rest of KH3′s Disney worlds.

VS Battles online are fun, I like ‘em c:

In the final battle it felt so wrong that Sora was the one to fight Xehanort instead of Kairi. It felt like a slap to the face after Kairi was so hyped as protagonist for this story. You wanna include Sora in this fight? Have Kairi fight with the Kingdom Key instead of Destiny’s Embrace, that way Kairi gets to fight Xehanort while also letting the players know that Sora is there helping her.

Seeing the flashback of her being taken by student Xehanort was hella interesting and creepy but in a cool way. I liked it.

I... don’t know how to feel about the fictional world. I’m still taking it all in xD but I’m open to it.

The way Kairi and Riku were so excited to see each other was hella cute ngl <3

I was kinda hoping Nameless Star would be Strelitzia, but it really seems like she’s Yozora’s gf. That’s fine I can live with that, she’s nice and I like her.

I can understand the logic of why Kairi did not go with Riku. Really, I do. But it felt like another slap to the face xD Like damn this poor girl barely got the spotlight before Riku went away with it again.

Kairi is gonna be Aqua’s student!! I’m actually really looking forward to this and I hope we get to see more of their interactions c:

Mickey trying to run off after Riku and having Donald and Goofy tackle him was so funny like bro who the hell are you kidding? You went off on your own to do shit without telling anyone all the way back from KH1.

“But Master Yen Sid, he’s all alone in a world we know nothing about!” That didn’t stop you before from taking your sweet time to rescue Aqua did it??? 💢💢💢

See? I told you guys there wouldn’t be any new Ven dialogue :’v

The final credits with everyone flying with Sora that one moment where it was him, Roxas and Ven just made me go 😍😍😍😍😍 !!

Yen Sid asking Donald and Goofy to tell everyone to stop their respective searches was such a relief Terra, Aqua and Ven can finally get out of the Realm of Darkness after a year of searching there QwQ

The setup for the next entry in the franchise got me definitely excited! I’ll be looking forward to anything new Nomura releases, and I’ll be on the lookout for KH’s 20th anniversary in 2022 c: