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dailycass-cain · 9 months

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How I Came to Appreciate Batgirl: Redemption Road More...

Once upon a time, I wasn't really fond of this story. I hated and loathed it. Since 2020 however, I gained a greater appreciation for the mini-series. Now it isn't on the top tier of Cassandra Cain stories, but I don't see it lower tier list anymore.

Why?

Well, I'm going to tell you, and maybe you'll appreciate this story too.

I fully confess this story more as a "Schrödinger's Cassandra Cain" story. There is a lot of bad in it, and yet there is a lot of good in it. First off, the one element I do enjoy is the art by Jim Calafiore.

There's a grit Calafiore brings to this story. It helps balance the good and the bad. The good is that he draws a very scary Cass. That and I do enjoy the opening homage to a certain two-clawed Wolverine in the opening spread:

Now for the very title of the series, you can interpret "redemption road" as two-fold: in writer Adam Beechen redeeming not only Cassandra in the eyes of the Bat-Family but redeeming himself with readers for well turning her heel back in Robin #150 and "Titans East" (Teen Titans #42-47). Cause let's face it-- it was not a good story by any means and did neither Cass or Beechen any further favors (but I digress, Geoff Johns, plotted that all out and there are "reasons" for Slade getting away free).

You have those factors and this little tale. So at Wizardworld Chicago 2008 I attended a panel where the infamous Dan DiDio revealed that Beechen bugged him for pitches and the one of approved was this mini.

He also revealed Beechen was the only one pitching stories on Cass (which was a half-lie, if you've seen my "Lost Tales of Cass" post, you know Chuck Dixon had a fill-in issue of Detective Comics ready to go telling how Cass/Bruce mended).

Course, by this time period Dixon was exiting Robin and Batman & the Outsiders so, yeah it was a "half-truth".

That made me angry back then, but now I see the why, and I'm okay with it. In his original ways of writing Cass, Beechen's attempts were-- not good. This was his chance to show readers he had really looked into the character's history and fix these issues that he himself put in.

Think about it we came from this in Robin #152:

To this. Beechen calling out the grand problem within the Bat-books (even now it seems). Cass is important in the Bat-Family, SO TREAT HER AS SUCH. Which he does by having Alfred (of course) pointing these things out.

But Alfred isn't the only one being meta in this story. I didn't even realize it, until 2020, but there is one other character playing a meta part in this comic, Nightwing.

If there's one HUGE gripe with this particular volume it is the relationship of Cass/Dick in it. We went to them being brother/sister.. to well. We have Dick literally acting like a dick to her.

Then it hit me.

Who was writing Nightwing at the time period? Peter Tomasi. Who treated the character of Cassandra like what Alfred says? Then suddenly Dick's characterization here began making sense much more sense (when you have this going right after this series as if that writer was flipping off Beechen) in Tomasi's final page of Nightwing:

Cass was supposedly living in the Manor at this time (per this story). Funny how she was "forgotten" in Nightwing. I guess Tomasi was REALLY spiteful because he revisited this subplot during the New 52 Batman & Robin too with Bruce even twisting the knife further:

Though for Beechen's purposes he revisits on WHY Cassandra should be a key member of the Bat-Family. Not only that, but Cass goes thru a journey that explores the limits of the Bat-Family's underlying culture of vengeance. And she reaches a natural conclusion to this (more on that later).

So let's get to the real bad. No not the 90s designed goons of David Cain or Deathstroke. No not the David Cain characterization. I'm talking about #1's wall of text that would make even Brian Michael Bendis blush.

This is only one page of it in the issue. We got TWO.

Until this issue, we never really got a "defined" timeline of Cass's EVIL period. We just figured OYL, Supergirl #14, Robin #161-162, and Titans East was how it happened. Turns out we were WRONG. Did we really need to see these pages of text? Not really.

In all honesty, I think a simpler solution would have been just tiny panels of Cass seeing the various people she killed when drugged up. At the very least, it would put faces on those Cass was forced to do. You could feel her rage on why she's hunting Slade/David Cain then.

Plus it feels like we're missing something as Tim was basically like Dick in Titans East. But now he's changed. Why? There could have been panels of Tim showing care for Cass in this. Instead, he just feels muted throughout this mini.

The first issue ends with Cass confronting another mystery lady murdering some of Slade/David Cain's assassins. And again, a problem I have with this mini.

These "children of Cain" feel so nameless save for Marque, who is the opposite of Cass. She embraces the violence that she was taught and is David Cain's own Frankenstein Monster. Throughout the mini she just comes off as superfluous and edgy. Really edgy...

I really think Beechen missed a prime chance here in having Cass trying to save someone like herself. Someone unlike Cass, didn't realize life as much as she did. That finally, Cain cracked the code (with help from the Slade juice). And Cass could try to redeem her.

So this whole theme of redemption could be all over the place then. Marque throughout this just feels, meh. Speaking of meh say hello to meaningless male love interest #3 for Cass.

This subplot just feels pretty meh. I get the why Beechen tried it. The writer from Batman: City of Light attempted this. Dylan Horrocks with Black Wind during his run on Vol. 1, and Andersen Gabrych attempted this in his run with Zero (and let's face it we only remember his name because he died).

The whole love subplot just feels so unnecessary here. Again we could have more stuff with Tim helping her. Something. Instead, we get someone we care little about. Because A.) we've seen it before and are so over it.

B.) Compare it with Shadow of the Batgirl which did this right. It balanced everything by showing Cass being the focus here (you know the actual main character), and less on the intended male love interest (until later when she gets to know him, Erik, more as the reader does too)

Which leads to this positive in #2. In one page we are given Babs realizing what Cass has been up too and is all for her going on this quest (probably knowing where this will end). Which is again, a good contrast to where Babs and Cass are here. Babs knows Cass needs this.

Bruce doesn't. Dick SOOOOO doesn't. But Babs fully understands. And I do love me some Babs being a good mentor.

Another positive in this issue does is laying the groundwork on how David Cain/Deathstroke forged this partnership when Cass/Marque visit a former colleague of both men.

That these two knowing one another was hinted at in Batgirl Vol. 1 by Kelley Puckett himself when Cain told Bruce in #5 of a job that was beneath him, Slade, and Lawton's talents. So in that regard, that's a nice callback.

Speaking of callbacks, you can't have Cass hunting Slade and not have run into Ravager (who was also actively hunting her father too during this time period of DC). And here the two's interaction is hit or miss.

Rose equally has a grudge against Slade for pulling the same stuff that he did to Cass. So they can easily relate to the other. Also, you have a built-in Rose going to more extremes than Cass (thanks to Sean McKeever's underrated Teen Titans run character arc involving her).

This is why Marque again comes off as the third wheel in all of this. If you're reading DC Comics at the time (or even now). You want the Cass/Rose interactions here. You don't care about the gritty edgy third person who's ruining the antics between the other two.

Like literally, the tension between Cass/Rose should be all that you need. There's history between them both. There are similar goals each wants. But it comes off as meh throughout this due to Marque. I mean look at this panel below and tell me who sticks out as the sore thumb?

Cause then you have panel later on in the book that makes you want to fist pump with these two now that are Marqueless. Who doesn't want to read THAT?!

Look, the idea of Marque is intriguing but there should have been a clear subject spawned from Deathstroke/David Cain's alliance. An assassin. A roadblock. A hurdle. Not nameless ninja assassins with badly designed outfits.

If this was just Marque fighting Rose/Cass then at least the fight could have meant more meaning. A face to go along with someone who's being down there as Rose/Cass got away from their murderdads.

Because there's no weight to any of these fights which should have more impact. Instead, they come off as weightless. And more blood spilled by Marque because the EDGE MUST FLOW!

But if #3 has another problem is Dick really being a bastard. Seriously, WHAT THE HELL DICK?! But then again, I get it now on why Dick is acting as such. Just that this bad characterization does come at the expense of Nightwing. Like WOW.

So here I am bashing the heck out of this third issue, with very little good finding in it. Well, there is one other additional good. That's the opening page/panel when Cass is out (due to Rose from last issue).

Where does this love of Cass/Shiva together come from? This comic! Beechen of all writers laid the seed that Bryan Edward Hill in Batman & the Outsiders and Michael Conrad & Becky Cloonan on Batgirls would use. The hidden desire Cass has: she wants Shiva to be a mother to her. Yes, Barbara is a good mother too (and dammit where is she in this panel above?!)

Regardless, Beechen does understand a want Cass has that James Tynion opened (and failed at) while Hill fleshed out WAAAAAAY more. So much more that now this has to be the standard of their relationship now. Literally, this is just gold between the two of them now.

But if you want to know where this hunger for Cass/Shiva to have an actual daughter/mother relationship came? You can thank Adam Beechen for that!

#4 finally has the long-awaited fight between Cass and Slade with it well being quite lackluster thanks in due part to Marque and the nameless daughters of Cain.

But I do confess there are a few dialogue pieces in #4 I do enjoy. Like Slade twisting the mental knife to get the better of Cass here.

We get no cathartic scenes for either Rose or Cass here (everyone seems to get robbed of having them with Slade at this time period in DC). Just a rushed end to a rushed subplot.

Again, this could have been the point where Cass was reaching to Marque and that could have been the point for Slade to decide, "WHELP TIME TO EXPLODE AND RUN!" Setting up the next issue. Instead, these nameless kids all die and we the reader feel nothing for them.

When in fact we should feel more. But so it is comics and we get the abrupt ending of the Cass/Rose union. Because this is all we get of Slade and her after this issue. Which is a pity.

Again given how both have similarities with horrible fathers. There should be much pathos here between Cass/Rose. How Cass sees going down this path of vengeance can poison you still (as it is doing to Rose). With Marque being.. ugh.

If that wasn't enough we get again nameless male love interest and ugh. Yeah, I'm just not gonna post more of that. Other than Cass realizes just who Slade and her pop would target to announce their alliance but also hurt the heroes: Oracle.

Which makes complete sense. I just wish the comic did a better job with it like Bruce Wayne: Murderer did only now David Cain this time going after Barbara (as he went after Bruce in that event story). There's a lot of things this comic could have done better at.

#5 opens with Dick, Bruce, and Tim fighting Cass due to the former ratting out her plans to kill David Cain to the latter two. Still, it is kind of cathartic Dick getting punted.

...

I hate myself for enjoying that.

If you're expecting any sort of closure between Dick/Cass here you aren't going to get any in this series. Dick continues to be a dick to Cassandra in Frank Tieri's fill-in arc of Batman & the Outsiders #13-14. After that, Dick FINALLY stops acting so OOC.

Here we go back into the positives of this series. I do enjoy Cass scoping the eventual scene of the crime out. She looks at the evidence she's got and with her skills predicts how and where her father will try to take the shot at Babs.

These pages come to show that Cass indeed can be a fine detective on her own right (thanks to Babs, Bruce, and Tim teaching her). Knowing how and when the crime could occur before it even does with what she knows.

And so we get probably the second-best part of this series. These next two pages.

I mean it's not Damion Scott, but Calafiore does have the nice little details here and there. Also nice of Beechen to use TWO homages of Cass here. From this set-up shot from Vol. 1 from above too…

To Cain about to strike a Gordon down and once again, his daughter stops him from taking the killshot. There's a bit of poetry there.

So in some callbacks, the creative team does nail them. I have to confess other than Marque, #5 is probably the portion of the story where it actually gets good. Even if it does come at the small price of David Cain's characterization.

Look, yes David Cain is a monster, but there's a difference between monsters who aren't portrayed as human and the ones who are. Cain had a perfect balance of this in Vol. 1 The stuff in this volume (and until again Shadow of the Batgirl) David just is a complete monster.

In that regard, the pathos of the villain just feels more hollow. If save Slade talked to him while in prison. Told him he could perfect and deliver that perfect child soldier. Bring a reason for his life again. I'd buy that more than what we got here in Vol. 2.

Why going into the final issue why I go into that mindset. It helps the reasons flow better for the character then what we actually got. And the ultimate fight between the two is handled well.

I also love that both Babs/Bruce are doing crowd control here (both at this point knowing this is something Cass NEEDS). I love that Charlie sees what is going on and her first instinct is to help Cass.

It's a pity we never got more interactions between Charlie/Cass. If only there were some subplots that could have been dropped so we could have got that.

While we don't get the cathartic stuff with Slade we do get it with Cass going up against her father. Just unloading the life he never gave her with a fury.

It's an almost Return of the Jedi moment of Vader/Luke's final duel with Cass just unleashing it all on her own father who cannot defend himself against the rage of his child. And much like Vader/Luke there's that moment when the later realized what will happen if he continues.

Like Luke, Cass has that realization too. That if she has her vengeance what will it solve? All this pain. All this suffering that's she has dealt with these last few months. Will killing him solve it? Of course, we know the answer cause it's Cass.

No. Being a killer is not who she is. She is a hero. So she attempts to save her father, but well as we find out this is where Bruce and Tim were hiding. Waiting and watching to see if Cass would come to this realization.

And we come to the best moment of this comic where Bruce puts his batdad side full-on. I love that the focus is on Cass here. Hearing what Bruce is saying and you just see the raw emotion of her just cracking up wanting this so bad until...

The hug from her true dad with a proud brother looking on. If only you know a stupid tie-in didn't have to ruin the good moment making any readers go, "What the hell is R.I.P.?!"

Like seriously, I'm surprised no one has photoshopped that R.I.P. out of the panel. If you take it out. Damn does this work more. But by putting it in there. "Oh yeah, Bruce is about to die. ...." And that emotion just leaves you to do this.

So if any of you great Photoshoppers out there can take that R.I.P. out? That'd be just great.

So Batgirl vol. 2 looking under this lens isn't the worst Cass story, nor does have enough good to be amazing to recommend. It's just there with both good and bad. It's average.

Hence it is Schrödinger's Cass. It is exactly this. But it was worth talking about. Because it is a period of Cass that should be talked of more. Because it does redeem Adam Beechen with the character.

Along with redeeming Cass with the Bat-Family. It's just a pity only Frank Tieri decided to follow on this and NO OTHER WRITER. Sadly not soon after we'd be getting the teases that Babs would be back as Batgirl from the Blackest Night mini caps at the end of BoP and Nightwing.

For certain folk at DC already made up their mind with the character, and she wouldn't be Batgirl or apart of the Bat-Family that much longer. I guess they assumed this Volume would be considered a "gift". That Cass got closure... Ugh.

If you want to know more about DC meddling. Then see here when I go more into detail on that.

That said, Batgirl Vol. 2 gets a lot of bad rap, but it isn't all bad. It's highly flawed, but there is some good in it. … And here's me going all RoTJ fully with it. 😋

With that, I'm gonna call it a night. Because tomorrow there are things I hope for tomorrow. REALLY AMAZING THINGS for us Cass fans tomorrow at long last.

But not freaking Batman/Catwoman: Gotham War. That can go to hell...

#cassandra cain #dc comics #my thoughts

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anamelessfool · 6 months

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Ribbons & Ties (AO3 Link) Chapter 5

M/M, GEN (Ch 4 Here) (Start here on Tumblr!) 2000ish words

Terzo x Omega, Terzo & Family, Terzo & His Ghouls, Cardinal Marian is in there for like ten minutes

Tags: Domestic Fluff, Commitment, Rom Com Energy, There's a Wedding, Secondo is Papa Emeritus, Gift Giving, The ghoul names are all messed up sorry it is for plot purposes, I can't have Fluff without some Angst sorry

For reasons beyond Terzo's understanding, he wants to give Omega a present for the ghoul's "birthday". It proves to be a lot more complicated than Terzo realizes.

Art by @kabukiaku used with permission

Chapter 5 Below the Cut! (We like Reblogs, Comments and Kudos omnomnom)

Terzo’s eyes flew open. He stared at his ceiling, his mind racing. He knew. It was 2 AM and he finally knew what gift he wanted to give Omega.

Terzo’s eyes flew open. He stared at his ceiling, his mind racing. He knew.

It was 2 AM and he finally knew what gift he wanted to give Omega. It wouldn't be easy, but he decided if he cared so deeply about the ghoul nothing could stop him for long.

Now all he had to do was get out from under this naked sorella in his bed.

She settled in, her arm closing around his neck. Terzo’s eyes rolled in his head as his mind calculated a solution. He slowly shimmied out from under her, gently resting her on her side. She sighed, shifting and reaching for him. In the moment she raised her hand to look for him he was free.

“Mmmph?”

“I’ll uh…I’ll be back,” he mumbled, although that wasn't necessarily the truth. He leaned over and gave her bare shoulder a gentle kiss.

He got to work throwing on his undershirt, slacks and shoes. Something about this sudden revelation required urgency. He did not want to wait a moment more and risk overthinking it all. He closed the door as quietly as he could and scurried down the stairs.

The courtyard was seemingly empty as he journeyed just within the shadows. Chairs and decorations had been toppled by guests and the nighttime wind. For a moment Terzo thought no one was there, but as he passed by the obscene fountain it looked as if a statue had been installed at it's edge.

Earth Ghoul sat on the rim of the fountain, his head tilted upwards. He was surrounded by the half broken down party mess, his hands calmly on his knees. Terzo flattened himself against the wall of the arcade, shuffling past as quickly as he could. Earth probably noticed him but remained still. Terzo didn't want to stop to talk as he continued his hurrying towards the Sanctum.

Terzo could see well enough in the dim light of the Sanctum. The dark made the sweep and spread of the arched, ribbed ceiling even more dramatic, more stomach-droppingly steep. The bronze filigree across the Altarpiece gleamed softly in some unseen light source, its doors the only barrier between this world and the Void from which Omega and the other ghouls were brought forth.

Beyond the choir box, under an archway was an often overlooked area of the Sanctum, unless you were a very under-supervised and lonely small boy in the early 1970s. A place with a certain fondness that now returned to him as he looked upon the carvings surrounding the locked entrance.

The catacombs.

The bars of the catacombs gates were easy to slip through as a tiny kid. But Terzo was now just over forty so the childish contortionist act was out of the question.

It was a good thing he was still proficient in picking locks. He always kept a few bobby pins attached to the inside laces of his shoe. He pulled two out, bent and arranged them in a way that at this point in his life was second nature. The lock fell as easily as the few times he had picked it before.

There is always a last time one visits a treasured place, although one rarely knows when that last time is. He didn't remember when was the last time he stood at these steps looking down toward the darkness. He closed one eye, his human eye.

He did however, realize that this time the curse of the Infernal Eye helped him see perfectly well in the dark. “I can keep my shoes on, at least,” he chuckled to himself, and the words fell flat in the thick air.

The steps then were easier to navigate than the countless times he'd wander down her before, although his feet remembered which way to go. The catacombs were cool, reminding him of the thin shirt he wore. It was constructed of bricks and cobble, with various concrete and stone sculptures of skeletons and mourning shrouded maidens perched in corners and alcoves. There were urns stacked on shelves. Some grander stone sarcophagi were built into the walls, sporting carved names and phrases like ROCKEFELLER, GATSBY, CAMINO and COMMIT FLESH TO EARTH AND SOUL TO VOID. He passed his favorite carving of a winged death’s head skull, remembering the times he made crayon rubbings and taped them to his wall.

Terzo turned a corner and there was a small tunnel to the left side, waist height. He suspected it was some sort of drain to keep the place from flooding. Here. Here was the place. He stooped down and settled in. He could still sit cross legged with his back up against the wall, albeit he had to stoop a whole lot more. As he nestled himself amongst the rocks the familiar posture and texture brought the memory to life again— the solidness of cool smooth cobble against his back, the security of his body crumpled just so in a comforting darkness. It was the closest thing to being held by the Earth itself.

No wonder he would come down here when he just couldn't take it anymore. He let out a sigh.

He looked down further into the tunnel. The Infernal Eye gleamed as if illuminated by invisible moonlight. He could see his prize, twenty feet or so down deeper in. He unrolled his body and crawled towards it.

And the walls enveloped him, a little too tightly now. He didn't want to think about what grime he was dragging himself through, but then again at ten years old he barely cared. He army-crawled on his stomach, blowing cobwebs off his face. His singular focus started to waver. Doubt began to arrive and take a seat.

I'd love to meet him.

Terzo unfortunately did not successfully steal the whole top of the cake that evening. Although he did charm his way into collecting eight slices to present to Omega, who was impressed just the same.

He was stuck. He had been stuck like this before, many times, as a younger, spryer kid. Now this was getting ridiculous. He knew how to get out of this jam but he had to commit to going further. He felt a soft skittering across his bare arm that he hoped was not a spider.

“Come on, Terzo,” he muttered to himself. He exhaled, flattening his chest and pushing his body forward through the shaft. His arm strained, the tendons across his shoulder blade stretched. He could see his prize just a foot further ahead and he reached as far as his limb could take him, swearing. His fingers grazed the corner of a papered wood surface— a box, his box.

“Porca troia, come on!” In this case Italian swears were needed for their unique flavor of frustration. He didn't want to think about the possibility of getting stuck, but he was so close to collecting the box at this point that he didn't want to give up just yet. One more exhale, one more tiny shove and he felt the knee of his slacks tear open.

And his fingers fully on the box.

Terzo managed to slip the box towards him fully into his hand. He backed out of the shaft, knocking his head a few times. At last he was back at the opening, curled up again and looking down at a dirty little cigar box he had reverently placed there. He stroked the embossed paper seal on top of this reliquary dedicated to his deepest self, found in the deepest place below the Sanctum.

Inside the box were treasures he had not seen in nearly thirty years. A yellow diecast roadster. A few dried Ghost Pipe flowers gently pressed into a folded piece of parchment. A photograph of a pretty nun with deeply sad eyes. A rusted harmonica. A collection of crude sketches of nudes he drew as a curious kid that needed to be buried securely and never ever be discovered by his stepmother, not even a decade after her death. He chuckled softly at the memory.

But he was looking for the most important thing. It was hidden under a few foreign coins. A white stone, no bigger than his palm. There was a hole in it, a hole worn away by a thousand years of some ancient river caressing its body.

He thought it was perfect. And so he put it in his pocket.

***

Terzo wasn't even halfway across the courtyard before he felt a rush of intense feeling through him, a psychic tap on the shoulder. He stopped and looked. Earth Ghoul still sat there, on the fountain edge.

TERZO.

Earth Ghoul at last had his head turned towards his summoner. And with two small but firm gestures of his hand, the ghoul summoned him. Terzo had no choice but to draw near.

Ghouls picked names for themselves when they arrived. Terzo thought it was pretty presumptuous of the ghoul to name himself “Earth” but his presence immediately brought a sense of calm and solidness that proved he deserved such a name.

YOU KNOW THE STARS MAKE A SOUND. A BUZZING SORT OF SOUND.

The Ministry Compound itself was located high in the mountains, far away from the city lights that bleached the sky. Up here anyone could see a dazzling show above. And usually there was at least someone awake, observing them.

Terzo was compelled to settle beside the ghoul as he sat on the fountain rim. He glared up at the sky, squinting as if it would help him hear better. He jiggled his leg as nothing stepped forward for him.

ONE THING I NOTICE IS THIS WORLD NOW IS NEVER SILENT. THERE IS NO LONGER TRUE SILENCE. LONG AGO YOU COULD REALLY HEAR THE STARS THEN.

Terzo realized that he was covered in dirt and cobwebs. He fussed with his hair and some sort of grit from the catacombs flaked out. Earth said nothing, continuing to be more interested in the stars overhead. The silence was unbearable. The fact that Earth had not admonished him for crawling through a hole was excruciating.

“You both…must hate me.”

Earth made a gravelly sound deep in his throat.

ALPHA HAS HAD BAD EXPERIENCES IN THE PAST. HE WORRIES ABOUT IT. HE WANTS TO MAKE SURE HIS TIME HERE IS WORTH IT. HE MAY NOT BE CHOSEN AGAIN, YOU KNOW.

“But you've come back,” Terzo said. “You've come back many times.”

THERE’S A SECRET TO THAT. I NEVER ASSUME I GET A SECOND CHANCE. AND YET SOMEHOW, I ALWAYS DO. Earth sighed, deep enough it felt like the ground shook. ALPHA WILL LEARN THAT. MAYBE THIS TIME. MAYBE THE NEXT TIME. BUT THAT IS ON HIM.

“I don't even know why any of you want to be here. Sometimes I don't…want to be here.”

I FIND THIS PLACE INTERESTING. TWO THOUSAND YEARS AND IT NEVER CHANGES. Earth shook his head. WHY DO HUMANS HOLD ON TO SO MUCH?

“We’re stupid,” said Terzo. He got to his feet, and he became aware of a pulled muscle in his back. He would definitely be feeling it tomorrow. “Good night, Earth Ghoul.”

Earth Ghoul snapped his fingers, once. As if calling to a dog. TERZO. YOU ARE NOT THE WORST PAPA I HAVE SERVED.

“Congratulazioni, I'm just getting started,” Terzo snorted.

I SAID THAT FOR A REASON. YOU WOULD NEVER BELIEVE ANYTHING ELSE I COULD SAY TO YOU.

“I don't listen to many things.”

YOU'RE IN LUCK. I'M IN YOUR MIND. ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO PRETEND TO IGNORE ME.

“Okay, then what do you have to say to me?”

WHAT ARE YOU AND OMEGA GHOUL UP TO?

Terzo knew Earth Ghoul had some inkling. He was tied to him as a being created from his own essence. But ghouls believed more in the value of actions than thoughts, So Terzo had to play into Earth’s hands. “Omega Ghoul and I…we are together. We are…in love.”

Earth leaned forward, knitting his fingers together as if rolling that concept around in his head. It was a unique sort of agony to watch him. IT’S NOT RARE. IT’S NOT COMMON EITHER. IT’S JUST… Earth patted his chest. THERE’S LIMITS. GHOULS ARE NOT AS STRONG AS YOU THINK. THE CONNECTION TO THIS BODY IS FAIRLY FLIMSY. IT DEGRADES.

“Your bodies can be restored. Fairly easily.”

THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEAN. Earth shook his head. I MAY BE FOREVER. BUT I KNOW NONE OF US HAVE FOREVER.

“I don't want to think about that,” Terzo replied quietly.

IT IS WHAT IT IS WHETHER IT IS THOUGHT ABOUT OR NOT. Earth rattled his head. IF YOU WANT TO BE MORE THAN TIME’S SLAVE YOU NEED TO DIVERT ITS FLOW. CHOICE IS NECESSARY.

“Sometimes I don't think I'm making the right choice.”

WELL, DO YOU FEEL YOU'VE MADE A GOOD CHOICE?

Terzo unconsciously slipped his hand into his pants pocket, finding the stone there. He stroked it with the pad of his thumb. “Yes.”

It felt like Earth was smiling behind his mask. THEN IT'S THE RIGHT CHOICE. He got carefully to his feet, rolling his shoulders. GOOD NIGHT, TERZO. GET REST. TOMORROW COMES SOON. IT ALWAYS DOES.

Terzo nodded, watching the ghoul slip back into the darkness of the stone arcade. He sat down again, brow furrowed, glaring up at the stars.

But he still didn't hear anything.

My AO3 | Tumblr Fic List | My Terzo/Omega Fics

Please reblog! Thanks and have a lovely Solstice season!<3

NEXT CHAPTER (LAST ONE!)

#terzo/omega #ghost band fic #domestic december

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hils79 · 11 months

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Hils Watches The King's Avatar - Ep 16

I love that all the pros logged in to fight Ye Xiu and see what his new weapon can do and he's just 'well, nice to see you all, bye'

Oh no I thought everyone knew but my sweet son Baozi doesn't know! I mean he does now but before he did not!

LOL there is an English book on Assassin's Creed on the table

Uh, he doesn't even work for her, does he?

Aww is he going to ask Chen Guo to be his manager?

I'm not sure what he actually ordered but I'm fairly sure it wasn't this

Ooh the official forming of the team is beginning. Love that he went to ask permission to poach Yifan. Also, lol, no I won't join your team because green doesn't match my complexion

I love that we're over a third of the way through this drama now and we're only just getting into what I thought the plot was going to be. Excellent amount of setup

LOL she saw Ye Xiu and Wang Jiexi together for like 2 mins and has decided she ships it. I mean fair.

LOL! Wang Jiexi is in on his plan to get Chen Guo to be his manager. That's also my 300th screenshot and I'm still not even at the halfway point

He's so good at manipulating people into doing what he wants. And, you know, she's been trying to think of a way to help him so everyone wins. She just needed a bit of a nudge in the right direction.

This is a trope that always annoys me. Like I get characters need to learn and grow but Chen Guo was so determined to do a good job but then just took a bunch of naps and hasn't even learned the rules of the game. You don't have to make people lazy and stupid just to show them getting better later. It just makes it look like she's not taking her new job seriously.

But, also, what kind of stupid rule is it that if your guild fails to kill a boss within a certain amount of time then you have to disband. It makes no sense.

YOU CAN'T KILL A UNICORN

OH YOU FUCKING SABOTAGING BASTARDS!

Oh no even her girlfriend is upset with her. But, also, she runs an internet cafe which seems to be pretty much just for playing this game and she's been following Ye Xiu's career for ages. Surely she must have learned at least a bit about the rules during all that.

Like I know very little about WoW, but if I ran a place where everyone plays WoW all the time and my idol was the best WoW player in the country I like to think I'd learn a thing or two about WoW.

I am very fond of him. I'd love to know if those are actual calculations or just fiction maths

Incredible! The spies attacked the wall so much they accidentally flattened the boss

Ahhh! Of course he knew what they were doing. That's what all the maths was for! I love this!

He's touching his boyfriend again. This makes me very happy.

Okay what I actually need is Baozi/Yifang/Luo Ji OT3. You've got the brawn, the brains and the heart in a nice little package

Uh, it wasn't just him that upset her

No liveblogging tomorrow as I'm on babysitting duty after work. Back on Saturday

#hils watches #hils watches the king's avatar #hils watches cdramas #the king's avatar #cdrama

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seventeenlovesthree · 2 months

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Has the new zero two movie changed your mind or added anything in a positive light to any of the zero two ships?

Oh, that is an interesting question, thank you for asking!

Though I think I have already kinda hinted at it during my last analysis posts regarding the movie and recent dramas: There wasn't (a lot of) actual "romantic" ship portrayal in my opinion. Which is actually a good thing in my book, but let's see what we got there. Putting my thoughts under a cut, because there are still a lot of people who haven't watched the movie!

First of all, let's name the few significant - or at least implied - interactions that are displayed in the movie:

Daisuke & Ken. Daisuke & Miyako. Ken & Miyako. Daisuke & Ken & Miyako. Daisuke & Rui (& Ken). Takeru & Hikari.

And that's basically it. As mentioned before, the movie itself only has roughly 90 minutes, due to pacing and plot, there isn't a lot of interpersonal interaction that goes beyond the general display of "friendship". The dramas are WAY better at showing off the dynamics between the characters, but we're not talking about that right now. But yeah, the Jogress combinations besides Daiken don't have significant interactions, Iori gets the shortest end of the stick ever, they don't have a single moment of Daisuke fawning over Hikari. So let's focus on the few relationships I mentioned above:

Daisuke & Ken: They're already one of the aspects that save 02 for me personally, which sounds more grim than it actually is, but I've always loved their dynamics a lot. You can feel the fondness (and admiration) they have for each other, their characters contrast and complement each other still beautifully. And even if the display of their bond could have been even deeper - Miyako calling them out for "flirting" will always be my favourite part of the movie. Someone recently pointed out to me how there might even be an underlying codependency between these two, which is an interesting angle to focus on as well, but I'd say the movie hasn't made me love them more or less than I did before. They're just great, I've shipped them before and I will keep shipping them!

Daisuke & Miyako: They're more of a comic relief combination than anything else, which hasn't changed much since they had been children after all. Personally, I've always seen them more as siblings than romantically compatible and the movie kiiiiinda proved my point in that? It depends on how you want to interpret certain framings. Especially because Miyako is particularly framed with someone else...

Ken & Miyako: ... And that is Ken. I already mentioned in my big post-watch analysis that, while you can definitely read every interaction between the characters as platonic, they were REALLY keen to put emphasis on Miyako focusing on Ken. There were several moments where she approached Ken on her own account, encouraged him, exchanged glances... And yes, her words can be taken as flirting (especially by the end of it!) and the snowball fight may have made a lot of Kenyako fans ecstatic! Understandably so! It's interesting, because they definitely have NOT put that much emphasis on a blooming relationship on a certain other future-canon ship, but I digress... Long story short, they definitely showed Miyako being interested in Ken, directing speeches towards him that you would usually expect from Daisuke. Ken on the other hand still seemed rather baffled at her behaviour, but it was a start. An interesting start! They have not really been a ship for me so far, and the one-sidedness is still something they need to work on, but I would say the movie did a decent job with them.

Daisuke & Ken & Miyako: Take everything I have outlined above and just make them a poly ship, THAT would be interesting. It may actually be the most satisfying conclusion in a timeline where Kenyako will turn out to be endgame anyway, even though the chemistry between Daiken is undeniably there! All jokes aside, it was amusing to witness the bickering between them, there was quite the chemistry (and jealousy?) between them.

Daisuke & Rui (& Ken): What can I say? Daisuke has a thing for "boys who suffer (tm)" and thanks to his irresistible positivity, he will ALWAYS pull them. Always. While Rui is still a different brand from Ken and Wallace, it really is not surprising that the lone wolf is visibly impressed by Daisuke (with Ken watching over them carefully, as the voice of reason). Considering the fact that I still prefer Daiken, I can still appreciate the dynamic, even though it wasn't the first time they pulled that trope.

Takeru & Hikari: Long story short - they held BACK with these two. They did in the movie, they did in the dramas. Which, again, is not a bad thing, since I personally enjoy how casual and comfortable they are with each other. Them being in each other's spheres is just natural - and I was DELIGHTED to listen to them writing fanfiction about their brothers and friends while being out for drinks in their drama. But if you were looking for romantic implications, you may get disappointed. While they DID get their own snowball fight scene (breadcrumbs!) and had a few softer interactions, there could have been more. While I did prefer them platonic myself for the majority of my life, I have generally grown more fond of them romantically in the past few months - so I am fine with either of their readings. But the movie hasn't had an effect on my perception of them.

Long story short - in sum, the movie didn't provide enough interpersonal interaction to change my perception of the ships in the grand scheme of things. Daisuke/Rui was a new addition, so it doesn't really count, but I WAS surprised to see them put emphasis on Miyako subtly woo-ing Ken, which was an interesting idea that was decently executed - even if it was still one-sided and didn't disrupt the true love-line (no, not a triangle!) of the movie:

Miyako loves: Ken. Ken loves: Daisuke. Daisuke loves: Ramen

#personal #my two cents #ship analysis #answered #ask #digimon adventure 02 the beginning spoilers

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an-abyss-of-stars · 11 months

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Fic Updates!!

Because I haven't updated my status with all of these fics in a while 😂😂

☾ He Saw Her At Daybreak ☾

I'M SORRY EVERYONE 🤣🤣 like I'm not going on hiatus (I guess I took one subconsciously, BUT IT WASN'T ON PURPOSE), it's just the usual bout of me losing my motivation to write 😂😂 like EVERY SINGLE TIME I open the doc to that 30k chapter, I'm both in awe that I was able to write it, while simultaneously wishing I could trash it all and restart 😂😂

BUT I'm treating editing it like homework I don't necessarily want to do 😂😂 I'm doing a bit at a time, reworking/rewiring some scenes as I go, hopefully fleshing some things out that I wasn't so fond of the first time around. So bit by bit, it's happening! I'm about a quarter of the way through! (I hope that's progress)

I won't give a time or date as to when I'll post it, cause I always miss my own deadline 😂😂

✵It's Visceral And It's Cruel✵

I've actually recently started working on chapter 5! It's cominggggggg, like I opened up the doc, saw my plot points, and the ✨URGE TO WRITE✨ came to meeee 😂😂

I also have no clue when I'll drop this one, but I'm planning on working on it more this week! I'd really love to update this fic by this weekend, but I won't say that's for certain.

❤️‍🔥Burnt Over And Over Again❤️‍🔥

SO this is the modern au I started! With Aemond chasing Rhaena across Europe! I haven't forgotten it! 🤣🤣🤣 The chapter I'm currently on is actually the first big interaction for Aemond and Rhaena, so something major...and smutty...WILL be happening!

Again, timeline wise, no idea when I'll be updating this 😂 I guess I'm just saying, I haven't forgotten about this fic!!

💝Early One Morning 💝

This is the "modern au, Rhaemond married with babies" fic that I just came up with! I think I said I'd be posting this like a day ago or so, LIES WERE TOLD I'M SORRY 😭😭 I was about a quarter way through writing it, and then I realized, I wanted to add more! I wanted to flesh things out a bit more, describe their relationship and their family dynamic a bit more? Give the babies defining personalities, define the "parent to kid" dynamics...all of that stuff.

It was originally going to be this short cute little thing. And while it'll definitely remain a one-shot, I think it might be a longer one. Like maybe 15k - 20k words in length 😂😂 like I'm about halfway through now, and I've plotted out the rest of the scenes I want to write, and I think it's all really cute! It's going to be super wholesome!

Like it's almost too wholesome 🤣🤣 but I'm fighting the urge to smut it up, so Aemond seems REALLY domesticated in this one 😂😂

#aemond x rhaena #rhaena x aemond #hotd fic #hotd fanfic #rhaemond #fic updates #ivaic updates!!#hshad updates!!

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beedreamscape · 10 months

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MY REVIEW/THOUGHTS ON NONA THE NINTH WITH SPOILERS

I'll shamefully (not really) admit I much preferred John's sections of the book to Nona's.

Maybe is my hard time connecting to children or just the meandering aspect of their day-to-day life (I didn't know the book took place over a single week, I thought it was much longer) but most of the book is a lot of nothing but recounting things that have already happened and details that won't matter much in the future. There's little in that planet for us plotwise and, IMO, I don't care for the people there at all.

I just feel this should've been a novella instead of a full-on novel and if I hadn't gotten it as an audiobook, I don't think I would've finished the book.

One example of the audiobook coming in handy is, if it wasn't for Moira's unique voice for each of the kids (which was annoying little voices, I'll admit, but fair they're kids), I wouldn't have been able to tell them apart and I think we could've done with just two or three kids instead of the bunch we got. Also, all the BOE and adjacent characters did nothing for me (also Pash was given the most annoying voice ever of all time so I hated her instantly).

I won't say Nona is not an endearing character but there's only so much you can put in before it becomes overly sweet and at a certain point she wasn't doing it for me anymore and her "death" was the most interesting aspect still dragging my attention to her, I was at the edge of my seat waiting for Alecto to come out.

This paragraph of very personal opinions mind you: I didn't care for the dogs or the school or the broken down city or the kids or the teachers or WeSuffer or whatever Pyrrha was doing. And I feel like I should! but it was dragging so much and I was just here waiting for the plot to start.

My favourite character in the story this time around was Camilla n Palamedes simply because they were the most capable and most focused in the plot ahead. Also, their Steven-Universe-esque fusion struggle made me tear up more than once. Pyrrha's presence was also welcome but it never made me love her, there's still so much I'd like to know about her though.

Then there's John... even after the shitshow that was his human existence and even bigger bs as an immortal being, I'm still deeply fond of him and was counting the minutes until his chapters. It's all so honest, so close to home, so human seeing how power corrupted his sanity even if he didn't realize how it was eating at the corners of his stability. I also love peeking behind the curtains and seeing how everything came together from just a guy a poor little meow meow to a global catastrophe was very fun.

I don't want him to die but it seems like the only way for his story arc to reach catharsis is Alecto killing him and our very capable necromancers keeping the sun from exploding ig. Anyway, shallow theories, Tamsyn is anything but predictable!

And following the line of the previous novels, I didn't understand everything but I didn't have that hard a time going through it, though the politics in both John's and Nona's part were very confusing to me and by the end of her part in the planet especially, it was really losing me.

Also, the lack of necromancy outside the very very few occasions of Palamedes is felt by me at least. Even with Gideon not being a necromancer, we were surrounded by it, it was nearly a hand in the plot in the mystery. Here, there's none of it and it's heartbreaking.

In conclusion, I liked the book as a part of the overall series but considerably less than the previous two instalments. I'll be rereading the other two books in the future but I'll keep my reread of Nona to John's parts and very very end.

#ntn spoilers #nona the ninth #book review #tlt spoilers #the locked tomb

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katherineholmes · 1 year

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From the ask game!

3, 7, 12, 13, 14, 30, 38, and 45 (i would've asked you the entire thing in excitement but these are all I'm curious about 😂)

Oh god, I am so, so sorry about how late this answer is, but…. I’ve finally opened my asks, so this and everything else will get answered soon, I promise 🤞🏽

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

Probably possessive behaviour or protectiveness, mainly because I'm writing about the Mikaelsons. But, I do enjoy these tropes, and then changing the power dynamics later on.

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

Um, hmm...world building 🤔 Maybe in Make It Holy, Mystic Falls in 1919 was quite difficult to plan out, all the characters and all. Every character except Klaus and Elena is technically an OC at this point. But I'm especially looking forward to the world building in New Orleans in 1919, because it's a mixed bag of canon characters and OCs.

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

Kidnapping lol. I didn't exactly dislike it, but I wasn't very fond of this trope, but I think writing Klaus/Elena in particular has opened me up to it, to the point that I definitely see it as a very useful plot device to both further the action and add tension.

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore?

Best friends to lovers maybe, I used to be a fan of it before, but I'm not now. While I understand that a lot of people like the strangers -> friends -> lovers situation, I just don't understand unless there's some sort of identity crisis that one of the characters have.

14. Are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer?

Toxic/abusive relationships. It's great when the author is using it to show a characters arc, and are aware of what they're writing, but a lot of fics that I've read in the past romanticise toxic relationships, which I cannot read. I actually love reading about romance and love existing within a toxic dynamic that either the author/characters are actively trying to better or even where the characters are stuck in a cycle, as long as it isn’t presented as ‘right’. But that's different than romanticising abusive behaviour.

In my experience, very few authors understand the difference and the nuance, so I stick to people I know.

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

The Monster In Her Mind. It was an extremely difficult fic for me to write, I think it was the first time I'd written in present tense, and it was extremely triggering. There are graphic, if brief, depictions of rape in it, and I actually reached a point where I couldn't physically write more of it. There is also so much violence and grief in it that I don't think I would've been able to complete it if I hadn't written it in one sitting.

It definitely made me realise that I can write in present tense, if I want, although I do still prefer past tense. I also know that I can write about sensitive topics if I want. But mainly it taught me that while fiction is fiction, sometimes there are certain topics, that as a writer, I must handle with the utmost care, because it can be so easy to make small of a very real, very serious issue.

38. Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful?

The Monsters In Her Heart and the Monster series in general actually. I honestly thought I’d get hate for it. Instead I have never received such response on any of my other works, and it means the absolute world to me.

I couldn't be more grateful, because it is an extremely important and personal story to me, and the fact that anyone would read it despite how triggering it is, and then take out the time of their day to discuss it with me is everything to me. I'm not sure about the popularity, but as long as it touches someone and helps them, it's worth it for me.

45. What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic?

A lot, prose, grammar, the flow of a story, plot, foreshadowing. I've learnt a lot while writing fic, which is the most important thing to me. To be better than yesterday, and while I wouldn't call myself great by any means, I know how much it's taken for me to improve, and that's all that matters.

Thank you so much for such amazing questions Q! You’re incredible ❤️

#writer asks #writing #asks #finally answering everything after a long time #the vampire diaries #qvnthesia

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sylvarantii · 3 months

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My first thought about this movie was, "Isn't this going to basically be like that one episode where Conan needs to find a person with "perfect pitch" to figure out that phone number to the boss of the Black Organization?"

And then, I found out rather quickly that no, this was not like that all, actually.

Detective Conan Movie 12: Full Score of Fear isn't the most impressive of the lineup, but I think one of its strongest elements is that it has a damn good original character.

I really loved Reiko Akiba from her personality to her design. It's to a point where I'm sorely disappointed they didn't have a means of really having her in the series like they've done with a lot of the detective character like Shiratori and Ayanokoji. (But they are inspectors, so it makes sense they'd be easier to fit into the series)

She has this sort of cold exterior that you find is more of a front for the care she has for other people and I've always had a soft spot for women characters like that.

And when she sees Amazing Grace (which is admittedly a song I grew up to deeply love from a young age) it's just the most beautiful thing.

I think music lovers will really have the most appreciation for this movie though. Especially if you're fond of classical music. I think this movie might even possibly have the best score/soundtrack of all of the others, but I have yet to sit down and listen to all of them, so I won't say that for certain.

The plot itself however kind of was an okay movie, I guess? I wouldn't consider it bad by any means, just not really my cup of tea. I also found the whole motives thing very confusing even when it was explained in simpler terms. A second watch might clear it up, but it just feels like it was tad overcomplicated compared to what I'm used to for cases in this series.

I guess by the ending it does clear things up a lot better at least, but I don't know. I think the best way to sum this movie up is I feel 50/50 about it. 50% liked it while the other 50% I just wasn't really into it.

But this is still going to make the ratings so hard because I can't really find myself placing this too high or too low.

I sadly think I'm going to have to be a little harsh on this one which hurts because I don't think it's a bad movie, it's just once again, there were so many others that really did a lot more for me and were more enjoyable.

1.) The Fourteenth Target (2nd Movie)

2.) The Time Bombed Skyscraper (1st Movie)

3.) Magician of the Silver Sky (8th Movie)

4.) Captured in Her Eyes (4th Movie)

5.) Crossroad in the Ancient Capital (7th Movie)

6.) The Phantom of Baker Street (6th Movie)

7.) Countdown to Heaven (5th Movie)

8.) Strategy Above the Depths (9th Movie)

9.) The Private Eyes' Requiem (10th Movie)

10.) Full Score of Fear (12th Movie)

11.) The Wizard of the Last Century (3rd Movie)

12.) Jolly Roger in the Deep Azure (11th Movie)

So with a heavy heart, I'm going to have to put it at 3rd to last place. I was even considering putting it under Wizard, but I think this one was more enjoyable to be fair.

I swear these ratings get harder the more of these movies I watch though. But in a way, maybe that's not a bad thing. I'd rather consider most of these a good watch in some way than come away absolutely detesting anything.

Anyway, next is Raven Chaser and funny enough, the episodes I was watching last year had this advertised a lot. I really want to be excited about this one because it feels like it'll be a really fun watch, but it's also one of those cases where I don't want to get my hopes up too high for fear of REALLY being disappointed.

I guess we'll see how it goes.

#detective conan movie reviews #full score of fear #sylv's rambles

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slowlystupendousdelusion · 4 months

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Me & my Rings of Power thoughts:

Okay so this took me ages to get round to, in part I guess cause I heard it wasn't great so lost the impetus.

It definitely improved as it went along, those first couple of episodes really seemed to drag. I'm not wholly sold on the 70 minute long episodes as a whole because even later on in the series I found myself drifting at times.

Certainly in the first couple of episodes the characterisation seemed lacking - I appreciate to make them feel middle earth-y they have to speak in a certain way, but with the Lord of the Rings films I never found that hinder my connection to the characters. I think there was a lack of humour that made the whole thing a bit dry until we meet Durin.

The world also feels a lot smaller. They seem to travel all over really quickly with no sense of time passing, which hinders the world building, but also gives less opportunities for character-building.

Been an age since I've read LotR or the Silmarillion but Galadriel seemed to be a completely different person than in the source material. She comes across as really young and a bit naive and even Elrond seems to be portrayed as older? (Side note: were they actually pals? I feel like this will be weird when he marries her daughter) I don't remember her being so impetuous. But girl is stunning and can't complain about pretty elf lady on screen.

The other thing I don't get is why they have this elf human storyline going and then barely mention Elrond's situation which could have been an interesting parallel. They could have played this angle for so much angst, and they just didn't? Bizarre.

Sadly i managed to read something about 1 ep in that gave away the Halbrand reveal, so I was expecting it. Having read that it did seem obvious that Gandalf(?) was not going to be Sauron. In part because it would have been a bit on the nose to have the guy who appears in a fiery crater that looks a bit like an eye to be him but also it wouldn't have made sense in the overall narrative for him to completely overlook hobbits in the LotR timeframe. This also makes sense in Gandalf's story arc as to why he's so fond of hobbits. I like the little nods in the final ep to things he says in LotR. At the battle in the Southlands, I did almost talk myself out of the spoiler because there were a couple of things that made no sense for him to do otherwise - saving Elendil for one, (I feel like there was another thing but I can't think what it was.)

This was a narrative weird point for me that everyone just accepted that Halbrand was King of the Southlands (even in the Southlands?) without any kind of corroboration whatsoever? I hope when I attempt to usurp the crown everyone else is so easy to convince.

My other thing is I like Halbrand (despite being spoiled!) but I'm sort of sad that there's no chance of redemption for him. Also I enjoy the Halbrand and Galadriel dynamic, but again this makes her position in LotR a bit weird. I love that shot in the final ep of the reflection of them in the sea.

I enjoyed the hobbits, it was nice that the main two were girls. I wasn't overstruck with the leafy/antlery headpieces as a costume choice though. Still confused about the evil magic people though.

Overall I did enjoy, but it took quite a long time to get into. I think shorter episodes would have been stronger - I'm not sure the extra ten minutes per episode were utilised in a way that helped the story. There were some odd choices made in terms of plot, especially given the information we know about the age. I guess it's just a bit frustrating given the amount of money that went into it that the end product wasn't the best thing I've ever seen?

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eleanorbloom · 3 years

Text

When You're Ready Ch. 25

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x f! MC (Eleanor Bloom) x Ethan Ramsey.

Word Count: 6.3k

Warnings: Mentions of panic attacks, innuendos and Spanish dirty talk (with proper translations 😂) oh and lots of fluff Rated: T

Taglist: @utterlyinevitable @binny1985 @shanzay44 @choicesficwriterscreations @starrystarrytrouble @lahellacute @lucy-268 @cinnamonspongecake @romewritingshop @freckles-spangledvampire @mercury84choices @curiousconch @thegreentwin @openheartfanfics

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Chapter 25. 24 Hours

It's a little soon

But I wanna come home to you

It had been forty days since she last put a foot in Edenbrook. Forty-six since the incident.

Memories of that day floored her mind as she was standing in front of Edenbrook Hospital looking for the strength, the bravery to come in.

The trauma about that place wasn't as big as it was in the first days when she couldn't even conceive being alone in a hospital room, worried that something could happen and she would be trapped there alone again; but was still there, leading her to catastrophic thoughts from time to time.

What if something happens again?

Eleanor couldn’t stop that question from popping up in her mind over and over again, but she’d reassure herself, over and over again, that anythingcould happen anywhere. It could've perfectly happened at the airport, on her way to Ohio, on her way back to Massachusetts. On her way to the hospital, even.

Anywhere.

So after a long, deep breath and ignoring her mind trying to trick her for the umpteenth time, she headed toward the entrance.

The hospital inside was with its usual hustle. People in and out at every moment; nurses, doctors, and other professionals deep in their work, some of them recognizing her and stopping to greet her, some others just giving her curious glances when she'd walk by their side.

Despite feeling overwhelmed by the amount of prying eyes and people inquiring about her state, she felt content with being back at Edenbrook. She’d been missing the familiarity of that place.

Banerji was as welcoming as she thought and happy to see her back at the hospital, though he didn't hesitate to tell her she could take more time if she needed. Eleanor thanked him for being so understanding during her time away but assured him that she was ready and therapy would help her in case things take a turn for the worse.

After chatting with Banerji about the hospital and life in general, Eleanor sauntered towards the Diagnostic Office, hoping she’d find Ethan to inform him personally about coming back to work the next day.

When she reached the glass walls, she found Ethan alone, deep in concentration reading something from his computer.

Her heart felt weird at the sight of him. The man she used to be in love with. It seemed almost impossible to think her heart belonged to him two months ago.

“Hello,” she said softly, standing at the entry.

His blue eyes widened by the sudden appearance, but quickly softened into a warm look when he recognized her, “Eleanor, what a surprise,” he said, standing and walking towards her, “How are you?”

“I’m doing better,” she shrugged, and both stared silently, awkwardly, unsure what to do next. But after everything had happened, there was no need to pretend anything, nor accentuate fondness when there wasn’t such or conceal coldness to not expose her feelings.

She wanted to believe they were already past that point, even if they only had two, almost three (normal) days to deal with the aftermaths of the end of them, and forty days apart seemed a good amount of time to do some healing.

So, she simply went for it and gave him a friendly greeting hug. They hadn’t seen each other in a while, so she greeted him just as she greeted her friends, just as Naveen greeted her that morning. Ethan was also her friend, despite everything, and maybe this was a way to show him she’d buried the hatchet after everything had happened between them.

Briefly stunned by the gesture, Ethan returned the embrace patting her gently in the back, "Are you visiting?" He asked while both were taking a seat at the circular table.

“Not really, I came to inform Naveen, and now to you, that I’ll come back to work tomorrow.”

“That’s good to hear. The Team hasn’t been the same without you.”

There was a tint of sadness in his voice and eyes when he said those words. There was more to it than the explicit meaning. It wasn’t just the Team, it was him he hadn't been the same without her, but that information didn’t mean anything to her. Maybe in another time, or another life, that would make her change her mind, would make her quiver and see hope in the hidden messages.

But not now.

At this point in her life, she was completely over him, and head over heels for Bryce Lahela and nothing could change that.

“And I’ve been missing using my brain for more than follow plots in my series,” she teased, trying to conceal the fact that she still could read him like a book, “I suppose I have a lot of journals to catch up with, too.”

Ethan chuckled, seeming a lot lighter than a few seconds ago, “Oh, yes you certainly have to.”

After catching up for an hour with Ethan about the team’s work, Eleanor headed to the cafeteria to have lunch with Bryce and some of her friends.

Late in the afternoon, after cleaning up last night's party and unpacking her suitcase, Eleanor took the T to Bryce's apartment.

There was still one person she needed to talk to.

When Eleanor stood outside the apartment door, loud music was heard inside, and a really passionate voice reciting a rap song with perfect speed and lyrics. Chuckling, she waited until the song was over to knock the door.

“Are you practicing for America’s Got Talent? 'Cause girl, you’re killin' it” she asked when Keiki opened the door, wearing Bryce’s red Stanford hoodie and a messy bun tied over her head.

“Ella!” she sighed before engulfing Eleanor in her arms, “Ohmygod, hi! What a surprise!”

"Hey, Keiks…" Eleanor replied, fighting back the tears. She didn't expect such a warm welcome from her at all, much less another spontaneous hug from her, but she returned it enthusiastically, "Oh, I missed you, kiddo, how are you?"

“I’m doing fine,” she assured, inviting her to come in, “I’m finishing my homework before studying for my history test tomorrow.”

“Woah. Bryce told me you had a test today too.”

As both approached the living room, Keiki grabbed a mix of notebooks, papers with concepts and diagrams, and some flashcards scattered all over the couch and piled them in the coffee table to let Eleanor take a seat beside her, “Yeah, Chemistry. Next week I’ll have my last two exams and I’ll be up to date with my curriculum.”

“Keiki, that’s amazing!” Eleanor congratulated, sitting on the couch, “And really impressive. Doing two months of exams in three weeks it’s a lot, I hope you get to learn well, though.”

“Oh, yeah. I honestly thought I wouldn’t make it, but I’ve got mostly As, so it was totally worth it the hard work.”

“It clearly paid off, you must be so proud! And Bryce too!”

"Yeah, he is, though it annoys me sometimes that he's so… nosy, like, he sits beside me to know what I'm studying, and he starts questioning me, and argh, you know how he is."

“Aww, but he’s trying to help you!”

“I know, it’s just…” she sighed, looking a bit conflicted, “My mom never sat beside me to study with me. Never. Only to ask me if I was doing good at school, etc, but she never actually cared about my… learning process, so I guess the whole thing it’s kind of new for me. I know I said I wanted him to show he cares about me, but sometimes it’s like.... too much…”

Eleanor nodded, encouraging her to keep talking. She knew how contradictory her confession was, even Keiki seemed to see it that way, but it was understandable. It wasn't easy to adjust to a new life where she had attention and genuine care, and that amount of worry, considering how independent Keiki was for being a fifteen-year-old, was certainly too much for her.

But she was happy for what that implied. Keiki was openly recognizing Bryce cared about her and was trying to give her as much time as he could, and that was progress compared to what she had felt a month ago.

She also felt happy Keiki still trusted her to share those things with her.

When Bryce arrived home, he was beside himself with happiness for having the two most important people in his life together again, joking with each other as Eleanor was finishing making dinner, and Keiki was setting the table.

He knew Keiki was over with whatever conflict she had with Eleanor, but seeing it materializing was different.

However, Bryce and Eleanor took things slow. She just stayed for dinner and before Keiki went to bed, she returned home to prep for her first day back at work. And the following weeks she didn’t spend more than two nights a week with Bryce to not alter the dynamics Bryce and Keiki were establishing since she started school.

Apart from the whole ‘over-worried Bryce about her studies’ thing, and the typical fights every adult has with a teenager, things ran smoothly between the Lahela siblings.

Both were doing their best to make it work.

Keiki had found a good group of friends at school with whom she used to spend her free time, and who had her back when some classmates tried to bully her when they found out about her family name. The first time it happened, she didn’t let them get under her skin and called them out and stood up for herself instantly, because there was nothing, and no one, who could ruin her peace now that she finally had a place to call home and people to call friends. She was done with the bullying.

One day, though, that attitude turned into suspension because she punched a boy who crossed the line with her, but Bryce, instead of scolding her, congratulated her by inviting her dining out for being so badass.

No one dared to talk about her after that day.

The first day back at work wasn’t easy for Eleanor. Nor the following days. From time to time certain things would trigger her trauma, making her remember painful details about that day, and consequently, cause panic attacks that would force her to lock herself in supply closets until the irrational fear was over. Luckily for her, some of those times happened when Bryce wasn’t in the OR, so he would sit on the floor with her to try to ease her mind or at least distract her until she was feeling good enough to come back to work.

Sometimes it happened out of nowhere, but most of the time it happened when she was walking outside the DT's patient room, or when she saw Danny attending his therapy sessions.

It overwhelmed her to see how weak he still was compared to her and even compared to Rafael, but Danny reassured her that he was doing fine, that he knew recovery would take him some time, but he was thankful for being alive and having another chance.

Sienna was happy with this second chance too.

Therapy helped her a lot, though. It helped her to unload the baggage she'd been carrying for so many years, and to not let her most recent trauma do more harm than it already had done. She was fighting hard to have her life back but to also be able to let all those fears in the past and give Bryce everything he deserved in their relationship.

She wanted to give him everything she once promised.

Between work, therapy, and trying to find ways to save Edenbrook, weeks happened in a blur, and before knowing it, the first days of snow arrived, and with that, the gift of a night of celebration with her friends, the Hopeful Hearts Gala.

“Why the smug smile on your face?” Eleanor asked, her arms locked around Bryce's neck as their bodies swayed to the beat of the music.

“Are you kidding? I’m the luckiest person here, dancing with the most beautiful woman in the whole world,” he said, grasping the fabric of her astonishingly beautiful red gown before lifting a hand to swirl her in one swift motion.

“Aw, mi amor. I have to disagree with you,” she said, placing both hands over his chest, feeling his warmth through the silky fabric of his blue floral button-up shirt, “I am the luckiest for calling the most handsome and loving man in the world my boyfriend, beat that.”

Bryce grinned before biting his lower lip “Okay, that’s really hard to beat, lots of people would kill to have your position.”

“Oh, I know, but you’re worth the fight, though I’d prefer not to fight at all, you know?”

“You don’t have to. I’m yours forever,” he whispered, and not missing a beat, Bryce leaned to brush his lips in her ear and added in a sultry voice, “and I’m counting the seconds until I take this dress off you and I make you mine.”

Eleanor lolled her head to the opposite side reflexively, feeling as a shiver was electrifying her entire body.

More than intoxicated with his innuendo, she turned to him and gave him a suggestive smile, “A couple more rounds with donors, and I’ll be all yours. Well, I am already yours, but I’ll allow you to use your prerogatives on me.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you could do fancy dirty talk too.”

“It comes with the dress,” she purred before drawing her face an inch away from his lips, her eyes still fixated on his, “Once you get rid of it... te hablaré sucio como tanto te gusta.” (I’ll talk dirty to you just as you like it.)

“Oh, please stop it,” he growled, pressing her body against his, his now dark eyes gazing hungrily at her cherry lips.

“Cállame,” she challenged, arching a brow and parting her lips invitingly. (Shut me up)

“Gladly.”

Bryce didn’t hesitate a second and captured her lips on his, kissing her with eagerness for a brief two seconds. The place didn’t allow for more, but it was enough to leave her cheeks flushed and her eyes ignited with desire.

“Stop it or I’ll drag you outta here and we won’t get to talk with more donors for the entire night. I mean it.”

“Alright, seré una chica buena,” she said with her best angel face before taking his hand and leading him to a group of philanthropists standing by the drinks table. (I’ll be a good girl).

Suddenly, she felt his hand pinching her waist with deliberate force, “You’re gonna pay for this, Andrea,” he mumbled discreetly in her ear as both were walking between attendees and colleagues with perfect smiles on their faces.

“Oh, I’m sure,” she said sweetly, before extending her hand to a posh couple debiting with a glass of champagne in their hands, “That’s precisely the point.”

When Eleanor opened her eyes the next morning, Bryce was already looking at her, his bare arms loosely tangled over her body.

“Good morning,” she said sleepily, tilting her head to kiss him.

“Morning gorgeous, how did you sleep?”

“Amazing, but…” A yawn interrupted her words, making her stretch between his arms, “I wouldn’t mind staying with you for another three hours.”

“Mmmmh, me neither,” he said softly, smiling pensively before embracing her.

After a minute of silence, Eleanor narrowed her eyes, stranged by how oddly quiet he was that morning. Bryce normally was noisy and chatty rather than pensive, much more considering the amazing and well-spent night they just had.

“Is something the matter? You’re kinda quiet this morning.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Love…” she stared at him, serious, waiting for his answer.

Bryce looked at her silently for a second, stroking her hair before answering, “I was thinking… Ok, I know this might be too much but I…”

Yeah, something was definitely happening because Bryce didn’t use to babble.

“I watched you sleeping for a while, you know? And I couldn't help but think how beautiful it would be to wake up like this every morning.”

She felt her chest swelling with a very well-known warmth at his words and the yearning smile he gave her.

“Oh, I see” she sighed, grinning nervously at him.

“And go to sleep every night with you by my side…” he continued, his hand now resting over her face, his thumb caressing her cheek, “And go to work together and… just live with you, babe.”

And her stomach fluttered with the images that started forming in her mind with every idea he was disclosing, and her whole body felt like melting, melting with that familiar warmth Bryce used to cause on her. With wonder.

As she wasn’t able to say a word, Bryce's smile faltered instantly, “Oh, babe, I’m sorry, it was just an idea, I didn't mean t-”

She shook her head, “It’s not that, I’d love to live with you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, that would be… god, perfect.”

“Then why don't we do it? I spoke to my landlord the other day because I wanna move to a bigger apartment with Keiki, and he let me terminate my lease early if I move between Christmas and New Year… ”

“Bryce… ”

She didn't know what to say. She loved the idea but a part of her was terrified about it. It terrified her she could screw it up again with Keiki. Or with Bryce.

But she knew she had to be braver than that. She’d been working on that in therapy and this was her first test.

“This could be our chance...” he persuaded, careful not to sound too insistent.

“Love, it’s not that simple.”

“Babe, if you don't want to do this just tell me, I won’t get mad because you don't feel ready.” His tone was earnest and there was no doubt he meant it.

“Listen, it’s not that I don’t want to, I do, but there are a lot of things we should consider before making that decision. The most important of all, Keiki. Have you even asked her what she thinks about this?”

He shook his head.

“Then you should start there. It took you a long way to get along with her, and making a decision like this without asking her could really damage her trust in you.”

"Mmm, you're right. Not because everything is okay now, it means she'll be okay with you moving in."

“Exactly. But even if she agrees, don’t you think it’s kind of… weird that we move together considering Edenbrook is closing and probably we’ll have to finish our residencies somewhere else, probably in different cities?”

Bryce furrowed his lips, thinking, “Not really? I plan to stay in the area, mostly for Keiki. I wouldn't like to force her to start over again in a new place and school. Salomon Kenmore and Mass Gen have great surgical programs so I’ll send my applications there as my first options. And… well, you told me the other day you were planning to apply to Mass Gen and BWH because those were your second and third options if you hadn't got admitted to Edenbrook. ”

“It's true. But what if I'm not accepted? If I end up, I don't know, in New York, or Cleveland?”

"Who cares? I mean, of course, it would be sad if we had to go to different cities, but is it really a reason to not take the chance now? We'd still have full five or six months ahead of us. Whether we end up here or not, we could enjoy this time while we can, and if in the end we both stay in Boston, much better."

Bryce was right. It didn't make sense worrying about something that wouldn't happen in several months when they had the chance now to live together for at least five months. All this, in the hypothetical case Keiki would agree to Eleanor moving with them.

“You’re right. It’s better five, six months than nothing.”

“Exactly, it’s making the most of our time together.”

Eleanor bit her lip, her eyes sparkling with excitement as new ideas started popping in her mind, unleashing all kind feelings and plans, "Awww, that would be so amazing! Having breakfast together before going to work, making groceries list, planning menus for the week…"

“And fighting who does the dishes or cleans the bathroom,” Bryce added, with the same excited tone Eleanor was using.

“Oh, and I’d yell at you every morning because you’re taking too much time in the shower.”

“And I would yell at you that you could join me instead of complaining.”

“But you can’t do that! Your sister’s here!”

“But it’s just a shower!”

“We both know it’s not just a shower, Bryce Lahela.”

“Damn, that’s true, but if we move to a bigger apartment with an ensuite bathroom,” Bryce gave her a mischievous smile, pressing her tightly against his warm body, “She wouldn’t even notice.”

Eleanor rolled her eyes, suppressing the smirk forming on her lips at his insinuation, “You’re impossible.”

Ignoring her feigned glare, he continued, “And we’d have dinner the three of us every night, and we’d brush our teeth together before going to sleep, and then you’d snuggle up to me every time you have cold feet…”

“My love...”

The sole idea was enough for her to say yes, but she knew, she knew she had to think about it seriously, even if Keiki agreed. Moving together carried a lot of responsibilities, with their relationship and also with Keiki, so she couldn't make the decision lightly.

“I’ll talk to Keiki about this,” he assured as he saw the mix of hope and concern in her eyes.

“And I’ll think about it and… probably start my applications to secure a spot here in Boston.”

“Deal.”

They sealed the agreement with a soft, lingering kiss before getting up to start the day.

The proposal kept ringing in her head for several days. The more she thought about it, the more she wanted to move in with him, but she knew there were a lot of obstacles to make that come true.

Keiki was one, but also the uncertain future about where she’d be next year. But even without the idea of moving in with Bryce, it was about time she did something about her residency.

She started looking for places besides her two first options. New York and Baltimore had good programs too so those could go in third and fourth place considering closeness with Boston. Cleveland was another, but mostly because it was in Ohio.

Once she had a secure list of hospitals, she decided to discuss her options with Ethan and see if he could write a recommendation letter to incorporate in her application.

However, part of her was worried he would question her choices, probably the fact that her first two options were unmovable partly because she wanted to stay close to Bryce and Keiki.

With the whole hospital working for the free clinic, it was hard to find free time, so as soon as she saw Ethan was taking a break to have lunch, she followed him to his office and explained the situation.

“Your list of preferences is fine in my opinion,” Ethan said after both discussed the programs she had chosen, “but I don't understand why you're so adamant with Mass Gen and Brigham in the first places. They are great, but John Hopkins has a better Diagnostics Department.”

“I know, but I'm trying to prioritize options that let me stay in the city. Good options. Mass Gen is second nationwide.”

Ethan nodded, his gaze pensive. He was fighting hard the urge to ask further, but he did it anyway, “Are you doing this for Lahela? Because I assume he’s planning to stay in the area for his sister.”

Eleanor was expecting the question, but that didn't make her feel any less startled. She knew that 80% of her decision was professional, that she chose those places because they were her options two years ago, and still were one of the best options in the rankings, but for a moment, his words made her feel like she was actually making it just for Bryce.

Was that inherently wrong? Probably so, but she knew herself enough to tell she'd never make a professional decision onlythinking about someone else.

“I’m not, but what if I was?” she asked, trying to placate her defiant tone.

“I just want to make sure you're making the choice that's best for you.”

Eleanor begged internally he wasn’t going to come with his paternalistic attitude as always.

“And this is, Ethan. As I said, I came up with my first two options because those were the places I would've gone if I hadn't been accepted here. But yes, I also have personal reasons for wanting to stay here. Bryce and I are considering moving in together, so it would be ideal if we stayed in the same city.”

Ethan looked baffled for a brief second. At the next, he was the same stoic Ethan she knew.

“If you're sure that's the best for you, I support your decision.”

But she could tell it was hard for him to say those words.

“You really mean that?”

He sighed.

"Look, if I have to be honest, I don't agree with you at all. Personally, I would never let anyone or anything interfere in my career, so my choices would be different from what you made…"

“But that's you…”

“Exactly, that's me, so it doesn't matter what I think. What matters is what you want, and if you're telling me this is important to you, that these are the best options to you, I have to respect that.”

Eleanor was agape. That was something Eleanor would've never seen it coming in a million years.

Ethan chuckled, amused by her reaction, “I know I spent a lot of time questioning your decisions, both professional and personal, but that time is over. As a colleague and friend, I can tell you're doing what's best for you, so I cannot do anything but support you.”

Yeah, it seemed the time apart, and all the time they had been spending since her returning had done something to mend their relationship. Three months ago Ethan wouldn’t have hesitated for a second to question and criticize her decisions and would’ve mocked her for taking Bryce into consideration, but instead, and for the first time, she was surprised in a goodway by Ethan.

"Thank you, Ethan, it makes me really happy knowing you're on my side."

“You’re welcome, Eleanor.”

Eleanor left his office, happy and more sure than ever about her decision.

When she was expecting the worst, ready to set boundaries and fight for her decision- even if she knew she didn't owe him any explanations about her decisions-, Ethan was surprising her with empathy and support.

They'd come a long way and finally, they were finding the balance.

A couple days later, the morning of her birthday, Eleanor was clocking out after a long shift. The idea of going home and having a nap before getting ready for her lunch date with Bryce was the only thing on her mind.

However, as soon as she got out of the hospital, the figure of a familiar teenager approaching made her stop in her tracks.

Keiki.

Eleanor almost didn't recognize her as her face was hidden under a light-blue parka and a white scarf tied around her neck. It was freezing outside.

“Keiks? Hey! What are you doing here? Bryce isn’t working today.”

“I know, I came to see you actually. Happy birthday!”

"Oh my god, Keikiii! You're too sweet! Thank you!" she squealed as Keiki was crushing her with a warm hug. "Aw, you might not want to hear this but you're almost as much of a good hugger as your brother."

Keiki blushed, “As long as you don't tell him, it's okay.”

“It'll be our little secret.”

“Great, now come with me, I have a surprise for you,” she said in a confidential tone before taking her hand and leading her to the parking lot.

“A surprise?”

“Yes, but it’ll take us a while to get there, so you have to be patient.”

After a short walk, they found Bryce waiting for them in the car. As soon as Eleanor sat shotgun, Bryce wrapped her in his arms instantly, peppering her with kisses over her lips and cheeks and down her jaw, “There's my birthday girl! Happy birthday again, beautiful.”

“Mmmh, you’re in the sweetest Goldie mode today, uh? I love it.”

“Hope this day is as good as you dreamed.”

“Well, with Keiki's surprise visit and the surprise that's coming, I'm sure it will be!”

Bryce stared at her silently for a moment, his gaze charged with hope and something hidden she couldn't quite decipher, but it made her more excited about the surprise.

Suddenly, the door of the back seat opened, “Are you two done? I’m freezing out here.”

“No, but you can cover your eyes if you can’t stand watching some innocent kisses,” Bryce teased, kissing Eleanor once again.

“I’ve seen more than enough between you two too many times.”

“It’s not like you’d get a disease if you watch us, you know?”

“Bryce!” Eleanor giggled, “Leave her alone! We are done, Keiks. Get in here! I cannot wait to see my surprise.”

After a ten minutes ride by the snowy streets of Boston, Keiki tied her white scarf around Eleanor’s head, covering her eyes as Bryce started slowing down the speed, “Okay, we’re closer to your surprise.”

“Oh man, I’m getting nervous now.”

“Don’t be, it’s safe and I’m sure you’ll like it,” Keiki assured softly, a tone she rarely used, as she helped her get out of the car.

As they began walking, Eleanor hooked her arm around Keiki's so she could lead her to their destination. Keiki didn't let her go any second, guiding her through the entry of a -she guessed- building, helping her to get into and out of the elevator, and then leading her through a hallway until a door closed behind them. Seconds later, Keiki untied the scarf.

“Surprise!”

After trying to adjust her eyes to the bright light, Eleanor found herself and Keiki alone in an empty room. It was an empty apartment, actually. White immaculate walls, big windows, a new, shiny kitchen, and a spacious living room.

“Keiki, wha...?”

The teenager bit her lower lip as she started to shorten the distance between Eleanor and her, “Bryce talked to me the other day about the idea of you moving in with us. I must confess at first I didn’t like the idea, thinking I’d feel the same I felt… well, you know when.”

Eleanor nodded silently.

“But then I thought… There’s nothing wrong with you, or with me, or with Bryce. We only had problems communicating, and thanks to you and the way you’ve cared about Bryce and me, we could solve those problems and now we’re both trying to make this work.”

“I’m glad you can see it that way now.”

“I know we never talked about it after what happened, but… I wanna apologize for being so unfair with you, for kind of blaming you when it wasn't your fault, and…”

Eleanor could sense Keiki it wasn't easy for her to speak so earnestly, but it was clear she meant every word and every feeling.

She breathed in deeply.

“And at the same time, I wanna thank you for always taking care of me. For always taking me into consideration and trying to do what's best for me, since the first day we met. You… You've become like a sister to me, Ella, the sister I didn't know I wanted, so thank you for being there for me.”

“Oh, Keiki, please, you’re gonna make me cry.”

“Sorry not sorry,” she teased, her cheeks profusely blushed.

Her heart was so warm, she thought it would melt any second. And she was so happy, she thought she could fly any instant.

“Keiks… I had no idea you feel that way about me,” Eleanor hugged her, “Thank you for telling me.”

"Everything is true. I know I'm not the kind of person who says these things, but I really mean it. And I'd be so happy if you move in with us. And of course, my brother would be happy too. The happiest, actually."

Eleanor grinned broadly, her eyes glistening with joy. “You're like a sister to me too”, she confessed, throwing her arms around her again.

As if he knew it was the right time to get in, Bryce opened the door, and poked his head inside, “Can I come in now?”

“Yeah, weirdo, come in,” Keiki allowed, as Eleanor freed her from her embrace.

After drying her tears of joy with the back of her hand, Eleanor turned to Bryce, who was looking at her, expectantly.

“So, what do you think? I hope you don't mind spending the morning of your birthday looking for the perfect apartment to move in.”

Eleanor looked at Bryce, his eyes charged with hope and possibility. It was a possibility what she couldn't read early that morning. But she could now because her head and her heart were full of possibilities too, full of plans and a beautiful, bright future together with Bryce and Keiki.

And when she turned to Keiki, her smile was welcoming and her eyes sparkling with the same possibility. For once in her life, she wasn't hiding any of her emotions.

She thought about the things that had been holding her back. Right there, there was none.

Her heart wanted this. And she hadn’t realized how much she wanted it until that moment.

She was ready.

Ready to fully commit and take this new step with Bryce.

Ready to take this new responsibility with Keiki and try to give her the love and care she'd been lacking her whole life.

Ready to be part of this pretty little family.

Feeling an outburst of joy, Eleanor ran and clung to Bryce to smooch him sweetly, “I love it! I love it, I love it! And I love you!”

Bryce encircled his arms around her to lift her from the floor, his gaze devastatingly tender, “And I adore you, baby,” he whispered.

She rested her forehead against his, feeling the warmth of his breath before kissing him one last time. This was a moment she was sure she’d remember her whole life.

“Fun fact number one about domestic Eleanor,” Bryce said once Eleanor’s feet were back on the floor, “She’s actually a koala.”

Keiki, who was looking at the windows resisting the urge to laugh at the clingy scene, turned to her brother, “Oh, just as you’re a Goldie?" she retorted, mischievously.

“Exactly, Keiks! Exactly!” Eleanor said, chortling at the remark.

Grinning, Bryce approached his sister and rested an arm around her shoulders, pulling her to his side “Keiki needs a pet name.”

“Oh, no, no, no no, you leave me out of this,” the girl said, trying to get rid of her brother’s grip, to no avail.

“I agree with Bryce. You cannot be the only one in this family without a pet name.”

Keiki’s eyes widened at the mention of the word family. Forgetting completely the annoyed act, she smirked fondly at her and then to Bryce, realizing what she had in front of her.

Her family.

“Keiki is totally a cat,” Bryce stated seconds later, “She likes to be left alone, and only likes love when she asks for it, but not when you give it to her, and she hates me, just as cats hate dogs.”

“Oh my god yes! You'll be Kitty, then!”

“No, no way you’re gonna call me Kitty, anything but that,” she refused, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Grumpy Cat then.”

Eleanor cackled, and even Keiki couldn’t help the laugh.

“Love, Grumpy Cat? She’s not that grumpy.”

“If Bryce’s around, I am. So, as you'll only call me that way when we’re at home, it will totally suit me. Anything is better than Kitty at this point.”

"Grumpy Cat, Koala, and Goldie, quite the zoo, uh? Does this apartment allow animals?" Bryce asked.

“Bryce, don’t start with your dad jokes already!” Keiki scoffed, finally freed from Bryce’s arms, and sauntered towards one of the bedrooms, leaving Eleanor and Bryce alone in the empty living room.

Sharing a hopeful smile, Bryce took a few steps towards her and rested his hands over her hips, “Did you like the surprise? I hope this isn’t forcing you to make a decision.”

Eleanor encircled her arms around his neck, thoughtful.

“No, no, love, it was perfect. I’m actually… still a bit incredulous about what Keiki said and… well, that she agreed.”

“There's no way she wouldn't feel that way about you, babe. You've been so supportive and just… good and caring with her.”

“She's a good kiddo too, a girl that has been through a lot and didn't deserve any of what she had to live.”

“Lucky for her, her brother's girlfriend has the biggest, warmest heart this planet has ever seen, so she'll get all the love she deserves.”

Eleanor gave him a sweet peck on the lips before looking softly at him, eyes conveying nothing but adoration.

“Just as you will.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yes, my love. Every morning and every night of every day.”

-----

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. With the mess book 3 has been, this kind of fluff has been really therapeutic to write. Even the bit with Ethan helped me to recalibrate, because he's been insufferable in this book. Luckily, here I could portray him more as he actually is.

A big hug to everyone of you, and thanks again for reading ❤️

#bryce lahela #bryce lahela x mc #playchoices #open heart #choices stories you play #oh choices #open heart choices #oph fic #open heart fanfic #open heart fics

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the-art-of-styles · 3 years

Text

Ping-Pong

✧ Aylin and Harry go out to sell some jams and come back to a disaster in one of their homes.

Word count: 1783

Warnings: short mention of eating disorder/disordered eating/calories

Part I

Part II (you’re here!)

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

Part VII

Part VIII

Mrs. Mendes is an old woman, she has lines of love around her eyes and lips that show how happy she was throughout her life, also on her forehead, showing how she was amazed by even the tiniest things that were introduced to her.

She has lived her entire life in the village, and everyone knows her for her exquisite blackberry jams. Aylin's mom used to buy her 2 mason jars every month for her daughter to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, until Aylin was 10 years old and she stopped.

"No more, Aylin, you've been gaining a lot of weight. A lot of calories, few wasted."

Those words had consequences, at the tough and young age of 11, Aylin entered a diet low in carbs and fats, where she lost a lot of weight, but from so much restriction, she began a cycle of sometimes bingeing where she couldn't stop to eat for all that she could not taste.

For all that she could not live.

At just eleven.

Eleven years old.

Already at twelve she had somewhat overcome her eating disorder, according to her mother, she was still a bit chubby, but Aylin was always a strong woman, and when she looked in the mirror she wondered, what was so bad about not being thin?

She loved food, and didn't think about going back to that hell she went through for months. Fuck the diet.

Mrs. Mendes walked through the only green park in town until she sat down on a yellow bench and took out of her bag some bread crumbs to give to the pigeons that were listening to human affairs. Aylin was walking her dog, Luna, she has no breed and she rescued her from the street when she was about to be run over. Well, she didn't rescue her, a man who had the necklace of a moon saved her and gave her to Aylin as she witnessed all of it (crying). He did not live there and didn't have the time or the space to have a pet, so there she is, walking her new best friend until she sees the old woman and her heart warms and a smile emanates from her lips.

"Mrs. Mendes!" She screamed and began to jog with Luna until she reached the old woman, she looked at her and her eyes narrowed at her smile.

"Oh Aylin dear, you look so big!"

"Yep, I'm 5'1 now, almost 5'2! Isn't that incredible? I'm going to be so big."

"I'm sure you will honey. Who's that?"

After Aylin told her the whole story, the two talked about different things while feeding crumbs to the pigeons who listened attentively to their conversation.

"Hey darling, you know I sell jams right?" Mrs. Mendes suddenly said, making Aylin look at her smiling.

"Of course! The most exquisite in the whole town!"

The woman smiled flattered, "Oh cut it. . . Anyways, in my house I have many done, raspberry, blackberry—"

"I love the blackberry one!" The little interrupted without thinking, instantly embarrassed to do so. "Sorry. . . continue."

Mrs. Mendes just laughed, "It doesn't matter. Well, uh, what was I saying? Ah! Yes! So, I don't have a way to sell them, you know, I'm an old lady and I can't go from house to house delivering so I was wondering if you—"

"Oh god! Can I go deliver the jams? It would be amazing! I would wear white and I would go with a brown basket that I have on my bike and– Ah!" Aylin squealed with excitement, "I could go with Harry! He's my friend, even though he lied to me. . . but I already forgave him, the Smiths adopted him, the house across from mine. Oh yeah, can I, please?"

Mrs. Mendes got confused every time she spoke to Aylin, she always talked a lot and very fast and changed the subject all the time, but she liked her, she liked that she was fast and not slow, it made her feel young.

If only that speed so characteristic of hers had remained.

"Yes, darling, you can. And I'd like to meet this Harry boy."

"Oh, you'll love him! I love him, he's my best friend."

"No."

"Pleaseeeeeeeee!"

"I really don't feel like selling jams."

"But it's so nice! People will be so happy! And you'd meet so many people from this town. Harryyyyyy!"

Harry sometimes feels very exasperated when he’s with Aylin. She always tries to involve him in things of the town; recreational activities, meetings, whatever, but even though the Smiths have kept him and a part of him begins to really believe that this family will be forever, he can't help but not want to get too fond of living there because at this point he doesn't think his heart could bear to bleed in pain once more.

But anyway, he likes that Aylin is like that, so persistent with him since it's not something that he has lived in his life, they always get bored of him and never look for him, he is the one doing it, but now he is different and the feeling that brings him makes him fall asleep at night.

Puppy eyes. "Please, Harry?"

He just rolled his eyes, irritated with himself because he knew exactly what the next word would be that would slide off his tongue in a harsh way, but she would eat it anyway. "Fine."

She squealed, he groaned.

"Thank you so much, kids. I missed this jams, and say thank you for my part to Mrs. Mendes, ya?" A woman in her forties with black hair waved them off at the door of her house, exchanging the money for the jams.

"We sure will! See you!"

They have been selling since twelve in the morning, now the sky was burning and the clouds too, the cold was beginning to descend and there were fewer and fewer people in the streets and more in their homes. The treetops danced to the sweet whispers of the wind, Aylin joining them on the empty streets.

"Wasn't that so fun?! We selled everything, we should get into business when we grow up, don't you think, H?"

"Yeah sure," he replied sarcastically. Aylin always notices the comments that Harry makes and when some are real and when they are not, she is not stupid, she just ignores them because she knows that deep down he must like part of the things they do, because otherwise, he would have left her long ago. Besides, that makes her feel better, she doesn't like to think that she bores people, especially when she knows that it is something real, something that has been said to her face.

Honestly, Harry must admit that it wasn't a total torture. Hearing Aylin talk so much is fun to him, she always has an opinion on something, and she is always in awe of things that she sees every day.

Actually, Harry likes Aylin. Not in a romantic way, he knows about feelings and everything, he even knows about porn, but he has never seen her that way and he doesn't think he will ever see her like that. It's not that she's not pretty, he finds her quite cute, but it's just a friendship for him.

His first friendship.

As they turned to get to the street where their houses are, the two noticed the great fight in one of them.

Harry stopped walking, and Aylin kept doing it.

Her mother was throwing an open suitcase on the head of her father, who fell to the ground and began to pick up his things at full speed while she insulted him.

At that point, Aylin started running.

"Mum! Dad! What – what is going on?!" She squealed in concern, walking over to her dad and squatting next to him to make sure he's okay. "Why do you have a suitcase? Where are you going?"

"He'll go fuck his assistant, that's for sure!" The mother screamed with hatred, regardless of the language she spoke in front of two children or whoever was listening (and there were several people).

"His assistant? But, what? Mr. Gomez?" Aylin asked extremely confused with her eyebrows furrowing.

"Exactly." She spit out to her husband and turned around on her own heels, dragging her feet into the house and slamming the door that almost made the whole town rumble.

"D-dad?" Aylin asked with her eyes swimming in a sea of tears, but she didn't allow her cheeks to turn into rivers.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I really am." The father composed himself and stood up, giving his daughter a long kiss on the forehead and then walking with suitcase in hand and head down, like the end of a movie where there is a climax where you think everything will be fine but in the outcome it all goes to shit and they lose everything.

"Wha– Where are you–" She sighed, her father far enough away not to hear her, "...going." She whispered, feeling a crack form in her heart that hurt like a hundred stabs dipped in the hottest lava of the worst hell.

Harry was at a safe distance, but he heard everything and saw everything as did some neighbors looking out in their windows to feed the curious cat without risking death. He understood everything and had a knot in his stomach from seeing his friend without life in her eyes, and being so painfully slow.

What a plot twist. He was gay. The dad, of course.

Aylin sat dejectedly on the edge of the sidewalk, staring at the grayish of the street without knowing what she was thinking about. She is always thinking, she is always saying something, but now there is nothing in her mind, white paint fell on the canvas and there are no more available brushes to paint on top of it.

The curly boy did not know what to do, he is not a person of a lot of words, and besides, what do you say to someone in a situation like this? "I'm sorry your dad is gay." Sounds a bit homophobic. So he chose to approach slowly as he usually does, he has always been slow, and although sometimes Aylin is exasperated that he sees everything and does everything in slow motion, deep down he conveyed a certain tranquility that she could not create by herself. Harry sat next to her and rubbed her back.

He didn't knew if she was crying or not, but he wasn't going to ask anything either, so he just sat with her while she hurt.

And he wished that swiftness of hers had never gone away.

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles writing #harry styles blurbs #fanfiction #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles x oc

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bluephoenixdruidicprincess · 5 years

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Shadowhunters 3x11, Lost Souls -- Review

It's that time of the year again where I put myself through the torture of enduring this show. Watching this show is like going on an endurance run. You drag your feet when you first start, when you get acclimated to the level of exercise, you think "hey, this isn't too bad" and then by the end, it's just pain...but also a sense of pride that you made it through. That's been my experience with the show, anyway. And it's basically how I felt about Shadowhunters 3x11, Lost Souls.

I would like to preface this review with saying that I am NOT a huge supporter of this show. I do enjoy certain elements of it but I'm not what would be classified as a devoted fan. For me, Shadowhunters is not a good show and I do get very critical of the show in my reviews. Honestly, for me, I watch the show because 1) I'm too curious not to and 2) I find that this show can be so bad its funny and that's how I reap enjoyment out of it. I am not at all invested in this show or its characters anymore. I'm just watching to see what happens. If you're a die hard fan and you lash out at everyone who has a different opinion than you, you might want to skip these...I'm just saying. My reviews may not be for you. If you do decide to be a total troll, well then pay attention to the below disclaimer.

This is going to be an honest review of my thoughts and feelings regarding this episode. If you're the kind of Shadowhunters fan where you only want to hear positive things about the show, this is not the place for you. If you decide to stick around and get offended by what is said, then that's on you. I warned you. Just know that if you send me any rude comments or messages, I will 100% ignore you. I find that's the best way to deal with bullies. I work 14 hour days. Do you really think I want to waste my incredibly valuable free time dealing with derogatory comments? Hell no. This review will consist of my honest opinions. Opinions are never right or wrong. I'm not telling YOU how to think and feel. I'm telling you what I, quirky and socially awkward me, think and feel. So please, lets discuss with dignity and respect. If I'm critical about this show, it's only because I want it to get better. There is, in fact, a difference between hating a show and being critical of it. I do not hate Shadowhunters, I am being critical and analyzing the flaws as I would with any other show. There are positives but there are also negatives. It's great if you want to promote positivity with this show (and I encourage you to do so) but that doesn't mean I'm not going to point out the things that are legitimately wrong with it. Also, keep in mind that despite the fact that I do like the books, me being critical of this show has nothing to do with my fondness for the books. I don't really care if the show deviates from the source material as long as the changes are good, it makes sense, and it doesn't create plot holes within the confines of the world the show has created. My problems with this show are problems I would have with any show or book for that matter. I think it's perfectly reasonable to take issue with a show that has plot holes, shoddy world building, and inconsistent characters. There will be spoilers for the books and movie.

We are at last embarking upon the final episodes of this show and if this episode is what's going to set the tone for the remaining episodes, then I'm glad it's the final episodes because...well, this episode wasn't great and is a perfect example of what I won't miss about Shadowhunters. Bland and cringey dialogue, more characters than it knows what to do with, and too much jumping across plot points. There are individual moments in the episode I enjoyed but overall, this isn't an episode I loved.

The Loss of the Mary Sue

I'm not entirely certain of the timeline in this episode. The episode never specifies on exactly how many days have passed since the 3A finale but I'm going to estimate about a week or so. Everyone believes Clary died in the explosion caused by Lillith attacking Simon.

The episode opens with Jace, Izzy, and Alec chasing after a downworlder and Jace makes some very shoddy decisions in this fight that lets you see just how reckless he's become in the wake of Clary's "death". We then get a montage of everyone missing Clary and the more significant one is Jace, that's the one they spent the most amount of time on. He's basically walking through Clary's room remembering all the times he spent with Clary...so basically three memories. Another classic example of what I've always been talking about when it comes to the adaptation changes. Clary and Jace have barely spent any amount of time together, even less actually dating and I'm supposed to believe that they're each other's one true love...not going to happen because the show didn't develop it at all. There's a moment in the montage where Jace starts looking at Clary's drawings and getting really emotional about it and I felt nothing because Jace has never been shown to take any sort of interest in Clary's artwork before. In fact, if it weren't for that one scene in 3A, I wouldn't even have known that Clary was still drawing. By the show deviating from the books in the way they did, Clace had less development but yet the show still wants to continue the aspect of Clace being hopelessly in love from the books. You can't make a significant change from the source material and then pages down the line expect to pick up exactly where you left off. By making the change, you changed the entire context of the relationship so now the entire story has to change in order to fit that new narrative. Sadly, the Shadowhunters writers have not figured that out yet and continue to make that same mistake...or they're lazy, it could be that, too. Jace eventually gets so depressed that it's implied that he's contemplating suicide but Izzy is able to talk to him and get him to think. And then she just leaves him after making him promise he won’t go through with it. If anyone's wondering, if you catch someone who you believe may be contemplating suicide, do not UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, LEAVE THEM ALONE!!! Particularly in a dark room. Being in a dark enclosed space is not the kind of place that typically sends out positive energy. But I suppose I can cut Izzy a little bit of a break. It's entirely possible the Shadowhunter world doesn't really understand how to help someone who's experiencing suicidal thoughts. They certainly didn’t help out Jace’s mother. Alec also confronts Jace about this in probably the only believable scene in this entire episode. Seriously, I've never been a Jalec shipper but I totally understand why people ship them. Matt and Dom are probably the only actors who actually have any chemistry with each other. But Alec tells Jace he's doing the memory of Clary a disservice and that if Jace were to die, it would destroy him as well. In other words, Jace isn't the only one who's going to be affected by this decision. Jace eventually is called by Luke who for some reason appears to be living in a motel room. I don't know why but whatever. Luke doesn't believe Clary is actually dead and he tries to convince Jace through some really weird conspiracy theory that probably even flat-earthers would find difficult to believe. But hey, if it leads to them finding Clary, I'll go with it. And I understand why Luke is unable to accept even the possibility that Clary might be gone for good. He can't think that about someone who he basically views as his daughter and the last connection he has to Jocelyn. Luke gives the evidence to Jace and tells Jace to at least check it out.

Simon, understandably, is also having a difficult time with all this. And Maia returns to give him emotional support despite leaving for a very particular and totally understandable reason but Simon needs her so of course she comes back for him. It's not like Maia exists for anything else but for Simon's character arc. Both Simon and Izzy kind of passive-aggressively shame Maia about leaving. And I'm particualrly disappointed in Izzy telling Maia about what happened to Simon's family as that's a very deeply personal issue and Simon should've been the one to tell her. It wasn't Izzy's secret to tell. I get that they were trying to use that scene to exposit information to the audience but there were better ways of doing that. Hell, it could've just been Izzy making an off-handed comment about Simon. Maia could've been talking to Izzy about how badly Simon is doing with the Clary situation and Izzy could've been all, "especially with what happened with his family" and Maia could've been shocked and Izzy could've been flabbergasted because she didn't know Maia didn't know. That would've been a much better way for the situation to be handled. But I'm not too pleased with Izzy saying in response to Maia not knowing, "well how could you? you weren't around." Just the insinuation that Maia should stay around and support her man and not go off and get in the right head space to properly heal herself after dealing with the re-emergence of her abuser. But I suppose I shouldn’t expect any different from Izzy seeing as she, herself, also only exists to give support the other characters. I think these passive aggressive intonations of shaming Maia are really horrible and shame on the writer. Maia, Izzy, and Simon decide to work together to find a way to get rid of the Mark of Cain from Simon's forehead. They talk to Raphael who now works at a soup kitchen in Detroit and Raphael tells them the tale of some dude chilling in the sewers of NYC who could possibly be the oldest vampire alive and may have answers to the removal of the Mark of Cain. Maia decides not to help Simon on this as its a bad idea for a werewolf and a vampire to meet and I almost forgot that was a thing, the show so rarely does anything with the vampire vs werewolf dynamic. But of course Maia has to back off to give room for Sizzy. I’m really not a big fan of Sizzy being explored here as everything that made Sizzy fun and interesting in the books has been completely stripped from the show. I’d much prefer Saia on the show. But really, I just want Maia and Izzy to have their own character arc, though that doesn’t revolve around shipping.

The Malec B-Plot

We have a Malec B-plot that I found just completely unnecessary wherein Iris returns and kidnaps Magnus because she wants to get Madzie back. She falls for the most obvious trap in the world and hopefully we never see Iris again. What it does for Magnus's story works I guess but I just found it to be a really obtrusive subplot that didn’t fit at all with the episode. I'm not sure if it's just the fact that I've been away from the show for a year so I can see the the show a little more clearly now but the Malec chemistry is no longer working for me. Maybe it's just that I've always paid more attention to how alarmingly unequal their relationship is but I'm looking at the body language they're giving off and its not the kind of body language you would expect from lovers. They're so stiff around each other and not relaxed at all.

In fact, there's a line in this episode where Malec has just put Madzie to bed as they're baby-sitting her and Alec kisses Magnus and Magnus tells him to stop because they have a child in the apartment currently. Alec kind of scoffs because it's just a kiss and Magnus is all, "You know how we get." And I'm like, "Do we really, though?" There's plenty of scenes of them talking and I can buy them as friends with that but lovers? I’m having a difficult time actually buying that now. Like I said before, the Jalec scene was way more believable than any Malec scene in this episode.

But Magnus decides he doesn't want to feel helpess ever again so he decides he needs to learn how to fight. Honestly, I was surprised to learn that this is implying he doesn't even seem to really have any basic self-defense capabilities. The way he was swinging the sword earlier in this episode lead to me to believe otherwise. Plus, Harry Shum Jr is a pretty buff dude but I guess maybe Magnus lifts weights and that’s it. Alec decides to help him out on this venture, though.

Siblings Reunited

We find out that Clary is indeed not dead and that Jonathon's back. I'll be real, here. It's kind of hard to feel sad for Jace or Simon or Luke or anyone really regarding the "death" of Clary, considering this entire episode is interspliced with moments of Clary being very much alive. Honestly, I think this episode would've functioned better if it was just about showing everyone going through all the different stages of grief regarding Clary and at the end of the episode when they've hit the acceptance stage, that's when we see Clary wake up in the apartment with Jonathon. But whatever. The show decided not to go that route so we have to make do with what we got. Clary wakes up and looking pretty damn fantastic for someone who's been asleep for days. Not a strand of hair out of place, make-up is flawless, and not a wrinkle to be found on her clothing. In fact, I think they're in even better condition than they were when Clary initially had to put them on. Clary also isn't even the slightest bit groggy, she knows exactly where she's at and everything. Clary does comas well. Jonathon tells Clary that it is indeed him, her big brother and that before Lillith was sent to hell she sent them away to Siberia, apparently. Clary plays nice for a little bit with Jonathon but decides to chance out in the cold of Siberia. It's nice to see that in her state of unconsciousness her muscles didn't atrophy from lack of movement or deteriorate from lack of food. But Clary fails in her escape, Jonathon finds her and brings her back. Clary tries to stab him with a knife but they both find out that what happens to one person will also happen to the other. So yeah, we're full in City of Lost Souls plot here which is ironically the title of this episode. Shadowhunters has never been all that subtle. This new actor for Jonathon is going to take some getting used to. Will Tudor did a phenomenal job with him so its difficult to see this new guy as Jonathon. But it also is difficult to take Clary's anger and hatred of Jonathon seriously when you think about all that Jonathon's really done on the show is kill a shadowhunter Clary had never met before and then injured Max and Max swiftly recovered. Clary is all about painting him as the worst possible being and indeed, in the books, he is but here, while he may be a bad guy who's done really bad things, I don't know if its deserving of that level of hatred. We haven't exactly seen a lot of his horrifying dastardly deeds. Another example of making a change and then thinking you can still keep the same storyline at a later point in the story. I'm certainly not saying I wanted Max to die but story-telling wise, it would make the emotions Clary's feeling here a little more believable. But I'm actually really interested to see where this whole Jonathon and Clary plot goes. In the books, it's Jace that's put in this situation so it'll be interestig to see how the show tackles Clary being in this situation. I'm also wondering, because they seem to be trying to stay away from the incest vibes here, is Jonathon going to gain an unhealthy obsession with Jace instead of Clary? In the books, Clary was who Jonathon was creepily obsessed with. He was equating possession with love and viewed that Clary belonged to him in every way imaginable. So since the roles of Clary and Jace have been reversed here, will Jonathon's obsession now change from Clary to Jace? Probably not but it would've been interesting to see for sure. I mean, if you're going to do a role reversal, you might as well go all the way, right?

The Clave Acting Shady AF

The Clave is being super shady right now. They appear to be doing experiments on the incarcerated downworlders and all I can say is, "do we really need this?" And also, "Why is it being implied that Jia knows about this and is okay with this?" The interesting thing about Jia in the books was the fact that she was the first step in the leadership to help get rid of the more corrupt aspects of the Clave and instigating change. But I suppose it's per the norm for the show to make everyone but the main group a bad guy instead of morally grey. As I've said before, this show has no concept of subtlety. I can only imagine that this is leading into the part in City of Glass the show hasn't done yet wherein the alliance rune is going to be introduced but instead of using it to fight Valentine, they're going to use it to fight Jonathon. That's what these downworlder experiments seem to be leading into as it reminds me a lot of Valentine experimenting in the books. I'm sure there was 0 social commentary intended when writing this into the show, though...but I think its safe to say it's totally social commentary. The show isn't very subtle, once again.

But good news is it looks like Ollie is gone for good so yay! I am side-eying the show, though about that. What was the point of introducing her if you weren't going to do anything with her? I'd say they probably wasted about half of 3A with Ollie unnecessarily. But maybe if this show hadn't been cancelled, Ollie would've played a more significant role? Well anyway, at least some of the fat has been trimmed.

My biggest issue, as always, is the dialogue. The dialogue felt extremely one-note. It was almost like the writer made a flow chart of what they wanted to happen in this episode and was like, "crap! I guess my characters do need to speak, here's some lines to explain what's going on." The dialogue basically existed solely for the purpose of giving exposition but the real kicker is that it was really unnecessary. I could've had this episode on silent (and that might've even have made it an improvement) and I would've understood what was happening perfectly. The dialogue really didn't add anything to the experience, it just made the episode feel more awkward than it already was. And then there continues the trend of Shadowhunters treating their awesome plans as if they’re the most clever plans in the world when in actuality, the plan is beyond obvious and it was super cringey and awkward seeing Izzy being treated as this amazing strategist for making the obvious move. And the episode was already plenty awkward with the constant cutting. It's really difficult to enjoy any particular subplot going on in this show when we only spend maybe 30 seconds to a minute on any particular moment. I kind of wish this show structured their episodes more around themes as opposed to plot. Plot is temporary, plot is always changing but exploring themes through plot gives you more of an appreciation not only for the characters but the story, itself. While I didn't mind sequences in this episode, at the end of the day, it just kind of left me feeling empty. I also think the acting felt a little stilted as well. I wasn't a big fan of any of the performances given in this episode and whereas I've never thought anyone on this show was oscar-worthy for their performances in the past on this show, their performances have always been maybe a C+ to a B. But in this episode, it just didn't feel like any of the actors' hearts were in it. Now granted, that could be a side effect of the script because, as I've mentioned before, the script wasn't great. Or it could've been the directing. There's a lot of reasons for why acting can feel stilted and it very rarely has to do with the actor or actress being bad at acting.

I've made notes about how the dialogue and acting was stilted but those weren't the only things that were. The fight choreography and the blocking felt a little off as well. For starters, the fight choreography did not feel organic. It was strangely reminiscent of season 1 fight choreography. The constant jump cuts so you don't see too much of what's actually happening and just feeling like fight scenes move very slowly. Like the reaction times between sword swing to parry were very slow and it kept on taking me out of the moment. Then you also had moments where Alec and Izzy catch up with Jace in the sewer and everyone's staring at the seelie they're trying to capture for a good 5 seconds before the actual fight continues. And then there's just strange blocking choices where a character walks to a point in the room and then delivers their line but the walk to the new mark wasn’t organic and actually made the line feel more awkward.

I'd probably give this episode a C+. It was passable, with enjoyable moments but ultimately not something I have any desire to return to. There were cute moments (primarily Jalec and Madzie), but overall as an episode, not something to be too terribly impressed with. And yes, there were moments I did like. It’s not my fault the show just had more bad parts I felt compelled to talk about.

#shadowhunters 3b #shadowhunters 3x11 #shadowhunters lost souls #rife with unpopular opinions #read at your own risk

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