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soapskneebrace · 1 year

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NSFW Alphabet — Captain John Price

Pairing: John Price x AFAB reader

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: BDSM dynamics, mild daddy kink

Now on AO3!

Dedicated to @yeyinde who has been almost my sole inspiration for how down bad I am for this fucking man. (And because I know she’s working on her own version of this and I’m DYING for it.)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Almost to a fault, John is both active and attentive. After he’s pulled away from you, breath coming out in heavy pants and hair mussed where you’d been running your hands through it (or pulling it—he really likes when you pull it), he’s already on his feet scrounging up a washcloth to clean up with, a sip of water for you both to get back some of that hydration that you’d sweated out, and would you like him to toss you your shirt, dove? He’s never really able to sit still on even the calmest of days, but all it takes to get him to lay back down with you is a sweet, soft plea to come hold you. John cannot deny you when you ask like that.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He doesn’t know if they’re his favorite, but John has a lot of appreciation for his hands. They’re weathered, scarred, and have carried out some of the most heinous acts a man can commit against another human being, but you also mewl and plead for those hands to touch you, to hold you tighter, to pin you down and mark you up. John uses the same hands he’s drenched in blood to wring breathless, sobbing pleasure from your body, and that he can do that is something that he holds dear. When it comes to your body, John loves your neck and your breasts. He has painted both with blooms of red and purple using his lips and teeth, and love to watch your breasts shake and bounce as he thrusts into you, one hand wrapped carefully but firmly around your throat.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Given the opportunity, John always prefers to come inside you. He’ll grab you in an iron grip, thrusting with a force that you’re certain will leave bruises, and bury himself to the hilt when he hits his peak, snarling into your skin as he rolls his hips against you to milk himself with your pussy. There is one exception though: if you’re taking him with your mouth, there’s nothing he likes more than to pull out and paint your jaw with his spend. Then he’ll yank you up, hands grabbing your face regardless of the mess, and kiss you messy and stupid.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He wants to have your ass. Perhaps not the dirtiest of secrets, but he’s rather old-fashioned, and it feels dirty to him. Also, it feels unfair, since it’s an act he thinks only he’ll really be able to enjoy. You’ll have to be the one to bring it up, but you’ll get hints from him that he’s thinking about it—he’ll frame the little ring of muscle between his fingers when he spreads your cheeks as foreplay is heading rapidly toward the main event, or he’ll thumb your perineum when he’s plowing into you from behind, growling about how pretty your ass looks bouncing against him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

John has had few partners, but plenty of sexual encounters. He is not a man for casual sex—at least, not one-time flings—and prefers to dive deep into pleasure with people that he trusts. Figuring out what makes someone tick, what makes them lose every inhibition with him, is far more to his preference. He’s learned that to have sex means to learn about someone else’s body a little more every time it happens, and that sex really does only get better than even the best anonymous hookup.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Hands down, John likes to have you on your back with your knees hooked over his elbows. Any position, really, that he gets to spread you out and hold you open is his favorite, and he absolutely wants to see your face as he wrecks you. He consumes the expressions you make with a hungry, steely gaze, and he demands more often than not that you look him in the eye when you come on his cock.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous?)

Humor is not really his thing, in the bedroom or out of it. That isn’t to say that sex with John is always serious and intense—he cares for you, deeply, and that includes your smile and your laughter. It is more accurate to say that John is looking for that lightness after the fact; after you’ve wailed and moaned and whimpered from the ecstasy he’s drawn out of you, he wants to make sure you’re grinning and saying how amazing that was once you’ve finished. You can tease him plenty about how into the act he gets, because he knows if he takes you to bed you won’t want to leave it.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes?)

John is wonderfully hairy all over, and when he has the time he keeps himself neat and groomed (he’s already maintaining the mutton chops, after all). His chest hair is dark and a little coarse, as is his pubic hair, which strains up his belly in a happy trail that can’t quite make it to his navel. His forearms, calves, and thighs are also generously dusted with the stuff, although years of tight military gear are starting to show their effect on how fast it grows. He’s not too worried about it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

He can’t help but be at least a little romantic. You’re his, and his alone, and that’s a gift he is actively thankful for every day. He is not exactly prone to sweetness, but sex with John is always comfortable in that he is always paying attention to the little reactions you give when he touches you like this or thrusts into you like that. You find, even pretty early into the development of your sex life with him, that he’s as hungry for the way you respond to him as he is for the feel of your body in his hands.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

You caught him with his hand around his cock once, at his desk on base and flushed red as he fisted himself in a tight grip. He’d called you there, in fact, and it had been at the beginning of your sexual relationship with him—he’d sounded out of breath and strained on the phone, and you’d hurried there to see what the problem was. As it had turned out, he’d started jacking off under the impression that you weren’t present, and then some background mental math had resolved itself to correct that assumption. It was the first time he’d bent you over his desk, but not the last.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

John truly does not like the word daddy, but that does not inhibit his enjoyment for the dynamic. He loves your acquiescence, loves the complete faith you put in him to take care of your needs, and even loves it when you give him the opportunity to lay down the law by being a brat. It’s half about the control—the heady opiate of power met with submission—and half about getting to give you what you desperately need from him. He loves to see you come absolutely unraveled, and loves to be the person you trust to get you there.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His office is a constant favorite. He doesn’t get to have you there as often as he likes, what with the international nature of his job, but every time the two of you have been within walking distance of it, he’s had you on his desk, on the floor, and across the couch against the wall at every opportunity. He’s a horrible tease about it, too—he’ll keep you speared on his cock for what feels like hours as you cling to your sanity, one eye on the locked deadbolt, your only barrier between bliss and humiliation, as John reminds every so often, “No, dove, you’re not allowed to come yet.”

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Sometimes all he needs to see is the offset angle of the collar of your shirt to be ready to go. It makes him feel a little crazy, like being a randy twenty-something again with a cock that worked faster than his brain ever could, but that’s just the effect you have on him. More than once you’ve met him after your shower, skin still shimmering from the humidity, smelling fresh and hair a little damp, only to have him walk you back against a wall to work up a sweat and defeat the purpose of the bath entirely.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He does not want to actually humiliate you. Control is one thing—abuse is another. In the moment, he might growl about how needy you are, how perfect you look with that fucked-stupid expression on your face, but he will have a very, very hard time calling you a slut or a whore even if you want him to. Those are words, he was taught very early, that you do not call your partner, or anyone else. Period.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill)

John appreciates giving and receiving in perfect balance. The picture of you on your knees, his cock down your throat as he sits with you between his spread legs, is as appealing as the reverse, and he’d never make himself choose between one or the other. When he eats you out, his arms are wound around your thighs from underneath, pulling your pelvis in closer to his face as he buries his mouth and tongue and nose into your folds. When you finish on his lips, he will not stop. He wants to hear you wailing.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

It all depends on what he’s trying to accomplish. If John is trying to get you to that place where words have stopped having any meaning and you are more an experience of pleasure than a person, he’s going slow, and he’s going hard. He wants to be as drunk on you as you are on him, too, and he’s had enough experience with the best Scotch he can afford to know that that dizzy, heady feeling belongs only to an endeavor in savoring it.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies are a tool in his arsenal that he uses to tease you, but he ends up teasing himself, too. That’s the point, of course, but sometimes it can backfire, and that turns into a rare occasion when John is not in control, is not trying to wring every drop of pleasure from you that you can stand. When John is needy and frantic because he tried to whet your appetite and got lost in his own want for you, you find it much easier to flip him over onto his back or press him down with a hand to his shoulder, and at that point he’d do just about anything you told him if only you’d let him have you. If you want to reap the benefits of him getting you back for it, you can bring him up to the razor’s edge of coming and then leave him there for you to indulge in later. Plan not to be able to walk after the next time he gets you into bed.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks?)

John is perfectly willing to experiment with positions and sensation play, just as an example, but there are limits to what he’s willing risk. While the fantasy of the 141 watching as he fucks you dumb is a favorite of his, he’s not actually willing to get into a situation in which that might happen, both because you might not like it and because he needs to maintain a measure of decorum as commanding officer, no matter how unconventional his methods might be. He still thinks about it, though.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

He’s only getting older. He’s gotten cranky about this several times. He can manage two rounds, three on a really good day, but he thinks he should be capable of more. He wants his body to obey his own command, and wants it to be available to you, in fact, whenever you want it. You’ve reminded him more than once that he needs three squares and eight straights if he wants to actually have the energy to do what he wants to you, and neither are always readily available to him. He usually gathers you up into his arms when you say that, because in this big, horrible mess of a world he has a partner who treats him like the fragile human he feels he isn’t allowed to be.

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or on themself?)

John’s old-fashioned, and the wealth of toys available today frankly makes his head spin. He’ll feel a little intimidated, too, if you consider bringing a vibrator into the bedroom with him, because it will feel a little like a suggestion that he can’t please you with just his own body. Luckily, rather than get pissy, he will communicate this, and you get to tell him that the full idea was to let him edge you with the vibe for as long as the both of you could stand. That’s a technique that fits within his tastes, and when you further inform him that butt plugs are great little tools to work up to anal sex, he gets on board pretty fast.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

If it isn’t clear by now—John is merciless. He plays the instrument of your body like a virtuoso, and only hears music in your begging and pleading. He’s never cruel and he never leaves you truly frustrated and unfulfilled, because that’s not who John is, but he’s going to keep your climax out of reach until he knows for certain that finally being able to come will wreck you. How is he being unfair, he asks, when he always gives you what you want in the end?

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

Normally, sex with John is punctuated with growls, groans, deep snarls, and chesty rumbling. Keeping control of you also means keeping control of himself. But. When you catch him in those frantic moments, when his hunger for you far outstrips his desire to play those games of dominance and submission, you can hear him moan and whimper and almost weep when you ply his body with your hands and mouth, when you sink onto his cock at a pace leisurely and comfortable for you and agonizing for him. He will swear all colors of the rainbow, curse and praise you in the same breath, promise to get payback and promise you everything he owns if you would please, sweetheart, just please let him fuck you properly already.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He asked Kate once—ONCE—what he might be able to do, in her opinion as a woman, to take better “care” of you. She’d stared at him for a silent, awkward, infinite moment, and when she finally replied it was to address a completely different subject. He’d downed the remainder of scotch in his glass and asked the bartender for another. The best case scenario would have had Kate pretend to forget that he’d ever so much as thought to ask her, but no—later that night, she sent him a fucking Cosmopolitan listicle, not because she’s finally decided to be helpful but because she wants him to know: she remembers. She will always remember.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

John reaches about 6 inches fully erect, is uncircumcised, and is thicker toward the base of his cock. It’s an average length and shape, but he has never been, and never will be, an average man, not on the battlefield and not in the bedroom. His balls are a little larger than average, though, and they sit low and heavy. It’s actually rather fitting, for a captain who threatened to hunt a four-star general down.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

You wouldn’t know it, because he keeps it under control as much as he does everything else, but John always wants you. There are hints of it—the intensity of his gaze, the low baritone his voice can reach when addressing you even in the company of others. The way he maneuvers himself into position at your side, not so close as to be unprofessional, but close enough to feel the energy radiating off of him in waves. You always get drunk on him, on what he gives you in bed, but sometimes it’s a surprise to be reminded that he’s every bit as drunk on you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Part of the reason John gets up immediately to do the little chores of aftercare, at least sometimes, is to keep himself from falling straight to sleep. He isn’t always exhausted after he’s fucked your brains out, but the world is getting more complicated. His job is getting bloodier. Someone is always screwing over someone else, and he tasked himself a long time ago with fixing all of that. He has to be able to get up and do it. It’s why he’s honed the control he has over himself to such a sharp edge. It’s why, when he finally lets go and lets you take the reins, he’s never as mad or as frustrated about it afterwords as he is in the moment. But he really needs to be reminded that he’s allowed to rest. That he’s allowed to settle into the comfortable afterglow, to breathe in silence just for a little while. In the end, you have to be the one to ask him, wouldn’t you like to lay down with me, John? Wouldn’t you like to just hold each other, for a bit? And always, his answer is yes. When you ask like that, soft and sweet, he cannot deny you.

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kissvamps · 5 months

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no title just yearning

riri yearning drabble thing because i would do depraved things for her. you guys are lovers in like a medival country that’s like three years away from entering their afrofuturistic era (this information isn’t really important to the drabble thingy but whatever). starting 2024 wit sum gay shit ikdr!! also nāmi is a word i just made the fuck up for like the people trained in helping with ceremonial preparations.

tags: @s0lam33y @clinicallykrazy cuz yall was tweakin bout this😭

—

she was so….your words failed you when it came to the task of describing riri. in all her compassion and heart and beauty, you could not fathom there were any words you could use to fully encapsulate her personhood.

“you are staring,” riri quips with a small smirk, “surely your husband would disapprove.”

you playfully smack her shoulder. “rianna williams, that man is not my husband! that will be decided tonight, at the duels. do not be so presumptuous.” you whisper-shout to keep the guards outside your chambers from overhearing.

as the sole child of king and queen of the tulume kingdom, your hand in marriage was heavily sought after. just five months ago you reached marital age and the process of selection began. countless interviews, background checks, vetting suitors, and finally the duels. which you should be letting your nāmi help you prepare for now.

the entire process was irritable, a nuisance in your opinion. not to mention the fact that you were not guaranteed love nor were your own feelings a large factor in the selection of suitors. but you had hope yet.

your riri was going to compete in the duels.

“after tomorrow,” riri fell to her knees before you, her hands gently holding the side of your thighs, “we will not have to hide, my love. i will let every living thing on tulumi lands know how i cherish you.”

you could not help the way your smile split your face nor the way your heart caught in your throat. you run your hands across your lovers face, tucking a few of her locs behind her ears, “i wish your hair did not hide your face so often, my riri. i desire to see my devotion reflect in the umber of your eyes always.”

tears began to well in those umber eyes your heart ached for, “when we wed, i promise you worship,” you slip a few soft kisses on her cheeks, tasting the heat of her love in the tears, “i will hold service before we attend church and no one will be able to look upon you without seeing the depths of my heart.”

riri grabs your wrists free softly with her warm, calloused hands. her work as a blacksmith has given her gorgeous hands that toughness that filled you with pride and comfort. she leans into your touch for a moment, then she lays kisses against your palms so sweet you nearly crumble before her. “everynight i thank god for making you and cry until my head hurts, demanding that he makes me worthy of your heart.”

“i plead everynight and every morning that god strikes us dead at the same time. i would bleed oceans to never have to go without knowing you again.”

you tugged riri up from her kneeling position, tears now spilling in your own eyes. you were unsure how on earth such a person like your riri, so full of love, so intelligent, so beautiful, could exist. for her to be here, crying and kissing your palms was something you struggled to believe was real.

“you are the source of my valor, my love, do you know that? i would topple empire after empire if you asked that of me. any desire, any wish, any whim of yours, i will do all that satisfies my love.”

“my sweet riri, i am positive that loving you is akin to knowing god. how blessed it is to know your heart.”

“tonight, i shall win the duels for no one else will know of how your spirit is to be worshipped. i refuse to roam this earth as another tries to worship my love, my angel, improperly.”

“you think an angel of me?”

“worshipping an angel may be blamphemous but i cannot help loving you, how could anyone?”

riri spoke with a confidence, a conviction, like was she telling a pastor of a sin she felt no need to repent. riri spoke emboldened. it is likely she was emboldened by your praise, riri seemed ever fond of it, of you.

“i think god of you, my riri, will i meet a blasphemers’ fate?” your voices comes out teary, thick like honey with the heaviness of loving riri, loving god, on your tongue.

riri’s heart stumbled in her chest at your confession. the blacksmith took a moment to bask in the depth of your words, letting that gorgeous smile grace you. “well, it is only blamphemous if unture, my love.”

this time, you fall to your knees before your riri, laying her hands on your face, “you are godly, truly, rianna. you kiss me and i taste heaven, your touch makes me clean, your love baptizes me.”

both of you have more tears rushing down your face, riri starting to sniffle a bit, but you’re still not done your confessions. voice deep with love, you praise riri once more.

“not many gods have come down from the sky willing to lay down their life for my hand in marriage. only my riri.”

she draws her hands away from your face to grab your hands, brown eyes full of tears and so much love you stop breathing for a moment. riri plants two twin kisses to your knuckles.

“only your riri.”

#riri williams what are we?#riri williams fic #riri williams x black!reader #riri williams #kissvamps #kissvampswrites #riri williams drabble #riri williams x reader #yearning drabble

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fujisfuji · 1 year

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neville’s army story

full creds : edward art series , part 2 ♡

𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

When Neville was drafted in the army. Neville did not want to go. They told him, "Isn't that the act of a coward?" He said, "I didn't care what they said."

Why? Because there is no objective reality. Meaning the idea of a coward to one is different to another. Everyone perceives things different. You may be grand in ones eyes but evil in another. The trick is to not care about either and go to what you want.

But I want to touch on something important from this story. But first, when Neville wanted to be with his second wife, he was struggling with wondering HOW it will come about. He talks about how he started thinking of HOW is he going to get a divorce with his current wife. He has not spoken with her in awhile, HOW is he going to just speak with her? What is she going to say? etc .

𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐰

He admits he was forgot to exercise this Law. Yes, NEVILLE, the guy who teaches this stuff, forgot to exercise it. Lol. It happens to EVERYONE, even if you know it. But he did not blame himself, instead he went straight to the Law. He let go of all the HOW's and slept in the assumption that he was Married with that woman. He fell asleep as the one he WANTED to be. It was what his hearts desired.

"Never blame, only resolve." - Neville

So back to the army story. He must have learned to let go to the HOW, because he had people implying he is coward. But he did not care. He learned that he must fulfill his hearts desire. Who else can fulfill the desires in your heart, other than you?

He imagined he was out, but then was quickly rejected.

𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 and the outer world

Here is where I think many of us miss this lesson. Neville imagined what he wanted as though he had it already. He slept in room with men, in a tiny bed, yet in his mind he slept in New York in his room. He did what he wanted. BUT after he did this, he was rejected.

After rejection, what did he do? Did he say, "This shit does not work. I imagined and nothing happened. I was rejected. The world is just simply greater than my mind. I never get what I want." Did he react negatively to his rejection? Maybe a touch, who wouldn't? But did he complain? Did he feel that he cannot get what he wants? No. And honestly, I would not even get mad if he thought that. It is only natural to feel that. But we are not called to be "natural" but to not sin. We must not sin.

Neville was able to not react even after rejection because Neville was not imagining to "get out," in a sense. He was imagining who and where he WANTED to be. This is a huge difference. If he was imagining just to "get out" and control the outer-world, guess what? He just got rejected. From this intention he is going to feel completely defeated. If that was his sole purpose was to just "make something happen," then he lost.

He imagined to change his MIND. To change his FEELING of "I." He imagined to change the ONLY thing that is being expressed. HIMSELF. Neville at this time, knew he can change reality, if he changes himself. Since he was solely imagining on changing the FEELING of himself, he was able to persist regardless of circumstances. He did not care what others said, where he was at in the world, or his rejection. He ONLY cared about imagining what he wanted. From doing exactly that, he was about to imagine that way effortlessly for 9 days. He even said he was doing physical training for the army, but all he could think and feel is ecstasy. He was feeling what he wanted, not what he "must feel" or "have to feel" to "get out." No, solely to have he wanted in his mind.

He let go of controlling his outer-world and controlled himself. The world is reflecting self. And "Self" is everything you think you HAVE and ARE. He may have got rejected and thought, "I am stuck. I have to stay here." Instead, he changed himself, he changed what he believed he was and had in his mind. Now he believed he was back in New York, he HAS his bed back, his wife back etc. He has what he wants in his mind.

This is how I do it: When I close my eyes this world is shut out and I, like Isaac, am blind to the outer world. Then I feel myself into the state of my desire. With my inner eye I see it all around me. I sense its solidity, and when my five senses are awakened I have the feeling of relief, knowing it is accomplished. - Neville, Wonder Working Power

Neville removes the idea or concept of there even being an "outer-world" when he imagines. He then FEELS what he wishes, see's what he wishes

The great secret is the most freeing. It is to do anything you wish in your mind. You truly are the most high in your mind. You are so powerful in your mind that NOBODY can imprison you, you can only imprison yourself. Nobody can free you, you can only free yourself. You are the ruler in your mind. You can be the king or the peasant. It is entirely up to you, to what you desire to be in your mind.

"Don't think in terms of things coming to you. Think in terms of things coming FROM you. This means it was within you all along." - Edward Art

#law of assumption #education #manifesting #manifestation #neville goddard

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demonslayedher · 7 months

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This is a bit of a throw-away idea, but I can't chase it away. But I also cannot produce my vision. This vision fits no where. Anyway. The vision is goth Butterfly Girls.

Was doodling and I wound up doodling Kanao in an article of clothing I had envisioned her before when I rediscovered some old photos with a particular article of clothing I used to own (and which I must had given to my sisters at some point because I rediscovered it while visiting home and I was like, 'yeah, I still love this').

It's a short sleeve black hoodie with a subtle butterfly pattern and lots of nice details like lace all over the inside of the hood and on the outside of the pockets. Yes, it even had pockets!! It was such a good, good thrift store find. A nice elegant touch of goth, but totally casual! I loved it, and Kanao would look adorable in it. But what goths would the others be? Well, if Shinobu as we know her in the majority of canon, yes, she'd pull off a fancier lolita quite nicely, but nooooo, not in this AU-which-isn't-even-a-proper-AU. If it's openly angry Shinobu who has an older sister who already dresses like an elegant goth anyway, Shinobu's going to accessorize and wear pants with so many chains that she jingles. (Did I base her outfit completely on a friend's signature look? Yes, absolutely. Also, that is the friend responsible for my having gotten into KnY. She has good taste. I also rediscovered a photo from a time she dressed me up in her usual clothes and had me pose in her posture. It was very, very odd for both of us.) She wears boots with very, very thick soles. She had hide a lot of knives in those. But did Shinobu go through a more hardcore phase with daily black lipstick and very very heavy eye makeup? Yes. Kanae teased her a little and after that Shinobu made it worse for a while, but she later toned it back down to a look that's easier to do everyday. Shinobu is no poser, she is committed. She also listens to goth music like an angry teen should. Kanae is the one who started all this. She just pulls it off with grace and looks like she's not trying very hard. Her style is long and flowy. She does tea party fashion get-togethers and stuff.

The first time Aoi tried it, it was because Kanae lent her an outfit and took her along. She liked how people appreciated the desserts she made, and she started getting creative ideas for what sorts of accessories she could make. Next thing you know, Aoi is someone who works very, very hard on each outfit and is very committed to an ideal loli-goth shape. She gets a little stressed out if the petticoats aren't working the way she envisioned. Despite all this effort, she gets embarrassed and doesn't talk much when she's dolled up. It's hard for her to walk in the shoes.

And the little girls? Yes, they want in on this too. Kanae would rather they be more mature before committing to a fashion scene, so they keep things simple with black dresses and tights.

So you got three little Wednesday Addams, and all the boys at the hospital are kind of freaked out by them. Sumi, Naho, and Kiyo change nothing about their tastes and personalities, yet they have mastered goth. No, I will not elaborate anymore than this. No, I will never have the patience to draw the sorts of elegant goth looks I love. No, you don't get to be as cool as I was in that lacy black hoodie. (I don't either, because I don't have it anymore.)

#my dumb art #kny silliness

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bandydear · 4 months

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I’ve been reading your tlgbf tlgbl fic, and am absolutely obsessed!! Where did you get the inspirations for dyke Jackie? I love how you’ve written her and her queerness

So, I prescribe to the theory that Jackie had some inclinations about her homosexuality out there in the wild and that's why she's parading around in sweater vests and limp wrists. That the high femme presentation we see in the pilot is more of a gender and social performance than who she is. And, I explored the people pleaser elements that lingered behind in that.

She compliments Nat in the Pilot that she admires how true to herself Natalie is which means that Jackie is not true to herself. She feels the pressure of expectation and lives within that expectation instead of her truth. We are never given a "truth that could crash an airplane" from Jackie. What she says is that she used to sneak downstairs and watch The Color of Night so she could pause it at Bruce Willis's wang.

For research for the fic, I watched Color of Night (the shit I do for art...). Bruce Willis's flaccid dong is there for like, five frames. And, it's not impressive like she claims it to be. You know what that movie actually has a lot of? Naked women and lesbian sex. Jackie's gay.

I know a lot of butch/futch/even high femme dykes who began their journeys presenting heterofemme realness and rejected it when they made their way down the rainbow brick road. Jackie very much gives me those vibes. Like, she has gay energy, but also a very "useless gay man" energy.

I think that finding out "x amount" of her teammates are some kind of queer and that the Very Hetero Sport she's been shielding herself with is uhhhhh Not That is part of what leads her down the path of self-discovery.

She's also shredded. Jackie canonically has an 8-pack and that's interesting because in the 90's, muscle tone was seen as something undesirable for women. (Now, I know that the show is made Now, where the aesthetic ideals are different, but if it's in the text it counts.)

Anyway, this has all been said before in other tumblr posts about Jackie being gay. I'm sure you're asking about why I wrote her as a futch service top instead of say, a femme pillow princess?

It has to do with her character arc. In S1 of Yellowjackets, Jackie's arc is one of nihilism and regression. The only thing that is keeping her alive in this survival situation is her love for Shauna, and when she learns of Shauna's resentment, she loses the will to live. Literally. Dies of a broken heart.

Jackie cannot survive in an environment without love. And, she struggles with survival instincts in general. Which is what makes her a great foil to Nat, who cannot help but survive, and, ironically, dies in S2 of too much love. The moment Nat stopped being cynical and nihilistic she doomed herself.

Two characters in direct opposition cannot exist so therefore they must either kill one or the other other--or change each other to live in harmony. I chose the latter. Jackie softens Nat and Nat hardens Jackie. They meet in the middle. If Jackie becomes hard, and becomes someone who can survive, what does that look like? What's the funniest possible way to get to this point?

Make Jackie the one who builds the shelter. Take this ineffectual, limp wristed twink and show her the way towards self-sufficiency through trades. Her home was broken beyond repair, so she learns how to fix it on her own. The literal is metaphorical and the metaphorical is literal.

So, now that I've explained:

Why Jackie is gay

Why Jackie fixes houses

Now, "why a service top"?

I touch on it in the text, but I don't think she's solely that. I do think that even after coming out, if she was experimenting with people who weren't Shauna she wouldn't allow herself to be physically vulnerable with them. It would cause a panic attack. She has a very Protestant energy and receiving pleasure as a part of sex would probably give her like 5 different mental breaks.

Jackie doesn't enjoy sex with Jeff (oral and hand stuff count as sex) not just because she's gay, but because she's too self-aware of how she's being perceived to enjoy her body.

On the other hand, she is a chronic people pleaser--though Lazy, so I knew she couldn't jump into this with both feet. If Jackie had slept with the girl in chapter 1 it wouldn't have gone well, and it would have been super awkward and unsatisfying for both parties. It's the envy at seeing Nat enjoying herself, and finally being in a safe space to relax a little that allows her to explore sensuality. Still, I don't think she'd let herself be touched in the same way.

If she had, as planned, shared a room with Shauna at Rutgers, I could see her being in a much more comfortable sexual role. Because Shauna was her safe space. But, I could also see her bringing a lot of her own baggage into that situation, and it quickly becoming toxic. I don't think they'd work romantically out of their "platonic" relationship in school, because it had already broken and festered by the Pilot.

Anyway! That's the impetus for Jackie's dykery. I hope that clarified some things. There are other folks out there who have come away with other, valid, and cool conclusions, but these are the ones I came to with my own research and experience. Thanks again for asking!

#fanfic: tlgbf tlgbl #yellowjackets fanfic #jackie taylor

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thecreaturecodex · 10 months

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Gigi

Image © @iguanodont

[Of all my self-insert characters, this is my self-insertiest. I consider myself to be somewhere in the Venn diagram overlap of Mary Poppins, Bugs Bunny and any given Addams, and that's the spot where Gigi comfortably holds court. She's also the manifestation of my use of friendly but weird spellcasters to steer the party in the right direction. Which means I wanted to be sure in the flavor text to emphasize that Gigi's a light touch. She's the kind of character who will craft the PCs magic items, cast a reincarnate spell if one of them dies (because it's way more fun than resurrection, plus she doesn't happen to have that many diamonds on hand...) and point them towards the next adventure, not the sort of character who will do everything herself. ]

Gigi CR 21 CG Fey This woman is fat, jolly and subtly inhuman. Her skin tone is a light purple, shading to red on her hands and feet, and her witch’s hat moves as if something growing from her head is holding it in place.

Gigi is the “Scary Fairy Godmother” of Varisia, a powerful inhuman witch who helps the people there survive the onslaughts of other monsters. Gigi is a phouka, but rarely appears in her natural form, preferring a humanoid guise. When not appearing as a human, she often takes the form of a gnome or goblin. She lives in a well-hidden cottage in the Sanos Forest, and from there ventures forth under invisibility or disguise to engage in her well-meaning meddling. Gigi prefers to act subtly by giving advice, casting beneficial spells and hexes or pointing people in the direction of a magic item or clue, rather than unleashing her true power at a moment’s notice.

When Gigi does decide to fight, she can be truly terrifying to behold. She is one of the most powerful witches in Avistan, and couples that with her natural abilities as a pooka. She usually fights under cover of invisibility, and uses debilitating spells to end combat quickly and efficiently. Gigi is proud of her magical prowess, but is well aware that a well placed knife can solve some problems spells cannot. If she is in a playful mood, or is fighting to teach a lesson rather than kill an enemy, Gigi will instead use Flyby Attack and Greater Dirty Trick to inconvenience and annoy opponents. Gigi is happy to play a support role in a fight, especially if teamed up with her right hand gal, Priscilla.

Gigi began her life as an ordinary phouka in the First World, who spent her time living hedonistically and annoying fey and mortals alike. One day, she came upon a chameleon caught in the web of a giant spider, and she let it free. She spent days watching this lizard, fascinated by its patience in hunting and movement, and followed its slow and steady journey. Eventually, the lizard led her to Mormo, the Goddess of Predators. That Great Old One had been regaining her strength and putting together her plots to strike against the Mother of Monsters Lamashtu. She had sent various reptiles out as living invitations, to extend an offer of allegiance to anyone who might notice. And Gigi was the only one who noticed.

Gigi became an instant convert and Mormo is now her patron, granting spells through that same chameleon (which Gigi named Liz). Since Mormo received a cool reception in the First World, Gigi decided to move to the Material Plane to support Mormo in the Great Game and to win her allies and converts. She chose Varisia as her home base because of the remarkable density of catastrophic events that occur there regularly, as well as the large number of adventurers fighting against said events. Gigi is the patron of several groups of adventurers, not all of whom know her real identity and agenda, and at least one of which knows her solely as a helpful disembodied voice. She is also one of the driving forces behind the increasing integration of goblins into the societies of other humanoids, as she has a soft spot for tricksy little monsters.

Gigi CR 21 XP 409,600 Variant phouka witch 16 (vellemancer) CG Medium fey Init +11; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, Perception +38

Defense AC 44, touch 35, flat-footed 32 (+11 Dex, +1 dodge, +1 natural, +8 armor, +13 deflection) hp 440(35d6+315) Fort +25, Ref +32, Will +32; +4 vs. mind-influencing spells DR 15/cold iron; Immune disease, divination, poison; SR 23 Defensive Abilities blur, eldritch shield, invisibility

Offense Speed 40 ft., fly 40 ft. (average) Melee dagger of subtlety +30/+25/+20/+15 (1d4+9/19-20), slam +23 (1d4+3), gore +23 (1d8+3) or 2 slams +28 (1d4+7), gore +28 (1d8+7) Special Attacks hexes (DC 34, beast’s gift, delicious fright, evil eye, feral speech, fortune, regenerative sinew, slumber, speak in dreams, ward), sneak attack +5d6 Spell-like Abilities CL 12th, concentration +25 (+29 casting defensively) At will—deep slumber (DC 26), major image (DC 26), suggestion (DC 26) 3/day—baleful polymorph (DC 28), blindness/deafness (DC 26), confusion (DC 27), dimension door, fear (DC 27), mirage arcana (DC 28), telekinesis (DC 28) 1/day—feeblemind (DC 28), greater shadow conjuration (DC 30), irresistible dance (DC 31), phantasmal killer (DC 27), song of discord (DC 29) Spells CL 16th, concentration +32 (+36 casting defensively) 8th—demand (DC 34), horrid wilting (DC 34), maze, mind blank (already cast), prediction of failure (DC 34) 7th—harm (DC 33), heal (DC 33), jolting portent, shadow body, umbral strike (DC 33), waves of ecstasy (DC 33) 6th—cone of cold (DC 32), flesh to stone (DC 32), geas/quest, greater dispel magic, greater heroism, stone to flesh 5th—cure critical wounds (DC 31), greater forbid action (DC 31), inflict critical wounds (DC 31), overland flight (already cast), pernicious pranksters, reincarnate, waves of fatigue 4th—blessing of fervor, charm monster (x2, DC 30), death ward, debilitating portent, inveigle person (DC 30), neutralize poison (DC 30), wandering star motes (DC 30) 3rd—aversion (DC 29), bestow curse (DC 29, already cast), clairaudience/clairvoyance, fly, helping hand, remove blindness/deafness, speak with dead (DC 29), vampiric touch 2nd—anticipate peril (x2), cure moderate wounds (DC 28, x5), ghostly disguise (x2), inflict moderate wounds (DC 28, x5), mortal terror (DC 28, x2) 1st—charm person (DC 27), doom (DC 27, x2), identify, ill omen (x2), ray of enfeeblement (DC 27), vocal alteration (DC 27) 0th—arcane mark, dancing lights, detect magic, read magic Patron—Fate

Tactics Before Combat Gigi casts mind blank and overland flight on herself each morning. She also casts a bestow curse (-4 to all attack rolls, saving throws, skill and ability checks) into her witching gown each morning Contingency Whenever Gigi is reduced to 100 hit points or below, she is teleported to the hidden basement of her house in the Sanos Forest

Statistics Str 25, Dex 32, Con 28, Int 42, Wis 22, Cha 36 Base Atk +17; CMB +28 (+32 dirty trick); CMD 60 (62 vs. dirty trick) Feats Accursed Hex, Agile Maneuvers, Bouncing Spell-like Ability (baleful polymorph), Combat Casting, Combat Expertise, Craft Wondrous Item, Dodge, Eschew Materials, Extra Hex (x3: evil eye, feral speech, ward), Flyby Attack, Greater Dirty Trick, Improved Dirty Trick, Mobility, Quick Draw, Spell Penetration, Weapon Finesse Skills Acrobatics +43, Appraise +51, Bluff +49, Diplomacy +49, Disable Device +33, Disguise +45, Escape Artist +43, Fly +43, Heal +38, Intimidate +49, Knowledge (arcana, local, nature, planes) +48, Knowledge (dungeoneering, religion) +45, Knowledge (history, nobility) +51, Linguistics +36, Perception +38, Sense Motive +38, Sleight of Hand +43, Spellcraft +48, Stealth +46, Use Magic Device +45 Languages Abyssal, Aklo, Common, Draconic, Elven, Gnome, Halfling, Sylvan, telepathy 100 ft, 20 others Gear tome of clear thought +4 (expended), manual of bodily health +4 (expended), headband of mental superiority +6 (Appraise, Knowledge (history), Knowledge (nobility)), belt of physical might +6 (Str, Dex), dagger of subtlety (as sword of subtlety), hat of fortune’s favor (as headband), cackling hag’s blouse, witching gown, lesser cloak of displacement, periapt of health and proof against poison, bracers of armor +8, goggles of minute seeing, metamagic rod of Quicken Spell, rod of abrupt hexes, staff of vision, wand of cure serious wounds, ring of wizardry II, ring of spell turning, contingency statuette, scrying mirror, 4,000 gp worth of crafting supplies, 2 doses of herbs and oils for reincarnate spells, 80 pp, 7 gp Spells Known As above, plus resurrection, greater teleport, contingency (as 6th level spell), break enchantment, hold monster, teleport, scrying, secure shelter, spite, remove disease, tongues, bear’s endurance, bull’s strength, cat’s grace, eagle’s splendor, fox’s cunning, owl’s wisdom, mage armor, cantrips SQ change shape (Small or Medium humanoid or Tiny to Large fey, alter self or fey shape II), legendary, quick change, scry on familiar, selective invisibility

Special Abilities Eldritch Shield (Su) Gigi gains her Charisma modifier as a deflection bonus to Armor Class and Combat Maneuver Defense. Expanded Wishgranter (Su): A vellemancer adds the following spells to her familiar for free: bear’s endurance, bull’s strength, cat’s grace, eagle’s splendor, fox’s cunning, and owl’s wisdom. The vellemancer can cast these spells only as part of her wishgranter ability, but she can sacrifice any prepared spell of 2nd level or lower to spontaneously cast one of these spells. Invested Hex (Su): Each day, Gigi can implant a number of hexes equal to half her witch level plus her Intelligence bonus (24/day for Gigi). Any given creature can have only one hex implanted at a given time, and implanting a new hex ends the previous one (the witch still loses the use of this ability she spent on the previous hex). Only beneficial hexes capable of affecting another creature can be implanted with invested hex, and this counts against the uses per day of hexes with limited uses per day or per creature. To implant a hex, the vellemancer must take a standard action and touch a willing creature. The vellemancer can activate the hex as a free action, or the hex can activate automatically when a single predetermined condition is met (decided when the hex is implanted). The subject must be within medium range (100 feet + 10 feet per level) for the witch to trigger the hex, but a predetermined condition can activate the hex regardless of range. An implanted hex lasts until the next time the witch regains her spells. Once triggered, a hex is no longer implanted and can’t be triggered again. Invisibility (Su) Gigi remains invisible even when she attacks. She can activate or suppress this ability as a free action. Legendary (Ex) Gigi's statistics are built off of 25 point buy and she has the equipment of a 20th level PC. This increases her CR by 1. Quick Change (Su) Gigi can use her change shape ability as a move action. Selective Invisibility (Su) When a phouka is invisible, it can choose to be visible to a single creature. A phouka can later choose to become invisible to that creature as well, but if that creature succeeds a DC 32 Will save, it can still see that phouka for the next 24 hours. The save DC is Charisma based. Wishgranter (Su): A vellemancer can borrow mental strength from others’ hopes and dreams to empower her own spellcasting. A creature can make a wish as a free action at any time, even during the vellemancer’s turn. The vellemancer must be able to hear and understand a wish in order to use it as a spell component. A spell that doesn’t normally have a verbal component gains one when cast using this ability. A wish doesn’t need to mention the name of a specific spell, but it must describe an outcome that can be accomplished by casting a spell the vellemancer knows (for example, wishing to be more likable could supply the verbal component for alter self, eagle’s splendor, or even baleful polymorph, depending on the results). A vellemancer gains a +1 bonus to her caster level when using a creature’s wish as a verbal component in this manner, but she cannot include herself as a target of such spells. She can be affected by such a spell if it affects an area rather than one or more targets. A vellemancer is under no compulsion to grant a creature’s wish. Once the vellemancer grants a creature’s wish using this ability, she cannot use this ability to grant that creature any further wishes for 24 hours.

Liz CR N/A Variant lizard (chameleon) familiar (pilferer archetype) N Tiny magical beast (augmented animal) Init +2; Senses low-light vision; Perception +1

Defense AC 30, touch 14, flat-footed 28 (+2 Dex, +2 size, +8 natural, +8 armor) hp 220 (effectively 35 HD) Fort +10, Ref +18, Will +22 SR 21 (31 vs. divinations) Defensive Abilities nondetection

Offense Speed 20 ft., climb 20 ft. Melee bite +21 (1d4–4) Space 2-1/2 ft.; Reach 0 ft.

Statistics Str 3, Dex 15, Con 8, Int 13, Wis 12, Cha 2 Base Atk +17; CMB +17 (+21 steal); CMD 23 (25 vs. steal, 27 vs. trip) Feats Greater Steal (B), Improved Steal (B), Weapon Finesse Skills Acrobatics +38, Bluff +25, Climb +10, Diplomacy +25, Disable Device +22, Disguise +25, Escape Artist +34, Fly +34, Knowledge (arcana, dungeoneering, local, nature, planes, religion) +30, Linguistics +21, Perception +33, Sense Motive +30, Sleight of Hand +42, Spellcraft +30, Stealth +54, Use Magic Device +25; Racial Modifiers +4 Acrobatics, +4 Stealth Languages speak with master Gear bracers of armor +8, wand of scorching ray (50 charges), contingency statuette SQ empathic link,share spells, sneak

Special Abilities Contingency: Is Liz is ever swallowed whole, she teleports back to a spot ten feet outside of Gigi’s house. Sneak (Ex) Liz gains a competence bonus equal to half of Gigi’s witch caster level on Sleight of Hand and Stealth checks. Variant Lizard (Ex) As a chameleon, Liz gains a +4 racial bonus to Acrobatics and Stealth checks, instead of the normal lizard racial skill bonus. As a familiar, a chameleon grants a +3 bonus to Stealth.

#pathfinder 1e #pathfinder rpg #monster npc #gigi #witch #phouka #monster girl #monster girl summer #age of monsters

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sapphire-weapon · 1 year

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another broke take i keep seeing is that ashley develops feelings for leon but that it’s not mutual, which is dumb bc even if leon isn’t as open about it (the ‘running from creeps’ and ‘good company’ lines notwithstanding), his body language is very telling imo.

holding on to her a little longer than he needs to during the church escape, touching her shoulder to check on her (when they’re saved by luis) or in reassurance (post-stabbing), gently cupping her head and tracing his fingers down her arm, reaching for her face again when she’s on the altar, grabbing her hand to pull her into the lift, and the way he always stops to help her up with both arms when she’s downed by enemies

even the fact that he’s literally being paid to protect her can’t justify the tenderness of all these little touches. i highly doubt “touch the president’s daughter like she’s the only thing that keeps you going” was in his job description. don’t even get me started on his boyish, almost bashful, “i can catch ya” like literally what the fuck

I think, after being forced into the shadows for eighteen fucking years by this fandom -- and by Aeon fans especially -- I've been hesitant to make any definitive statements on Leon and Ashley's relationship outside of its effects on Leon's character arc (and reaffirming over and over and over again that Ashley disappears from the series, as though to soothe people's reactions??).

But I was on discord talking to @godtier earlier, and once I actually said it out loud and then actually got an agreement from someone who could not be paid to give a fucking shit about this ship -- I'm just going to go ahead and say it for the wider fandom.

Resident Evil 4 Remake was written as a romance, and the romance is between Leon and Ashley.

With the new scenes they've added in, it's literally structured like a romance story is. I'll even outline it for you.

1) Call to Adventure / The Meet Cute

Literally their first meeting in the church, culminating with the catch and that moment of longing as they lock eyes while Leon continues to hold her just a few seconds too long.

2) Refusal of the Call / Rejection of the Relationship

At first, Leon treats Ashley solely as his mission objective. ("Hey can we take a break?" "Sorry, we need to keep moving.") And Ashley, for a good bit, doesn't trust him at all but goes with him because she has no other choice. ("Seriously, this cannot be happening.")

3) Acceptance of the Quest / Giving the relationship a chance

The escape from the cabin sequence up to the "seems this isn't your first time running from creeps." line. This is where we see them actually start to warm up to each other, and Ashley, for the first time, believes Leon can and will really get her out of there.

4) Trials and Temptations / Three Dates

The three dates are:

1) Ashley busting the window open after the Mendez boss fight, helping brush the embers off of Leon, and helping to pull him to his feet

2) Salazar's introduction ("The girl's just fine. With me.")

3) The road to the Water Hall (Leon jumping across the chandeliers + this is the first time the "knight and the princess" allegory is stated)

5) Midpoint Crisis / I-need-you-but-can’t-have-you

The stab followed by Ashley running away in tears, terrified of hurting Leon again and horrified that he saw her like that. This is also the second time that the "knight and the princess" allegory is stated.

6) The Road Back / Pulling Back Together

The pep talk. Leon is openly vulnerable for the first time ever in this game, and Ashley is grateful to have him with her. Note that Luis calls Leon "Prince Charming" immediately following this scene.

7) The Fall

Ashley stating "I won't run. Wait for me, Leon." And then Leon following up with the "I can catch ya" line.

8) Dark moment / The Break Up

Leon sitting at Ashley's bedside waiting to turn and ready to shoot himself. He's already half given up, and some part of him has started to believe that they won't actually make it out of here -- not together, at least.

9) The Sacrifice

"This time, it has to be different." Leon is forced to challenge the assertion by Ada and Krauser that he hasn't changed, and he even has to prove it to himself. He destroys Ashley's plaga, holding her hand the whole time, smiles breathlessly, then collapses to the floor.

10) Declaration

"Hey... we're a team, right?" "Keep this up? I'll be out of a job."

11) The HEA

Leon and Ashley literally ride off into the sunrise together towards a happily ever after.

The original RE4 is not structured this way. Even if I tried to, I couldn't slot Leon and Ashley's scenes from OG into this outline.

And the romance angle is reinforced over and over and over again through repeated use of the "knight and the princess" allegory beyond what I've even listed in the outline. You know, the fairy tales about the knight who saves the princess and they fall in love and live happily ever after. In addition to Salazar saying it, there's the "Prince Charming" line from Luis, Ashley references it when she jokes that Leon should literally put on the knight's armor -- and, on a meta level, Leon has a fucking fantasy hero costume.

There's even goddamn dialogue in the game where Ashley says to Leon, "I knew you'd come" -- which is basically just ripped right out of the Princess Bride.

And to continue the meta reinforcement of it, Leon and Ashley literally have a matching set of alternate costumes called "Romantic" -- and they are fucking Romeo & Juliet inspired. Come the fuck on, man. They couldn't have been more on the nose about it if they'd tried.

And this is in addition to all the other shit you already pointed out in your ask.

And there's the fact that they completely removed any hint of Ada possibly even remotely being a love interest for Leon in this game. The focus remains solely on Ashley and the bond that she and Leon build together.

Leon and Ashley's relationship in RE4 Remake is canonically romantic in nature, and I'm so fucking tired of pretending like it's not.

#resident evil 4 #leon kennedy #ashley graham #meta analysis #i'm tired of tiptoeing around legitimate literary analysis of RE4make's narrative #just for the sake of not upsetting a subset of the fandom who have had their ship be canon for 25 goddamn years already #RE is doing something different with the story in these remakes #and this is one of the changes they've made #and it's there whether y'all fucking like it or not #i have had to put up with aeon for 25 fucking years #y'all can deal with ONE version of ONE game where the romance angle went in a different direction #because it did go in a different direction in RE4make #RE4make binned leon/ada in favor of leon/ashley #and you really can't make an argument otherwise

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ilynpilled · 1 year

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Aerys & Cersei

I have seen some posts recently that want to paint Dany as the Aerys parallel in the story, as opposed to Cersei, and I want to pick that apart, and argue why it is detrimental to the respective stories of multiple characters, as well as pretty thematically incoherent.

Putting this quote by George in here as a given, as it will be relevant to the content in here:

"Fire is love, fire is passion, fire is sexual ardor and all of these things. Ice is betrayal, ice is revenge, ice is that kind of cold inhumanity and all that stuff is being played out in the books."

Thematically, Dany becoming an Aerys parallel is awful because of the bio essentialist undertones it has. I’ll put a link to the post that goes more in depth into this at the end of this. This is going to be rather long.

People use this argument for the Dany parallel for some reason: later, wildfire in many ways also functions as the Targs’ attempt to recreate dragons (Aerys is the most glaring example). To recreate lost magic, lost power. There are many historical stories of this destroying some of them. When you have a family be the head of a violent construct, like feudalistic hierarchies, it should not shock anyone how power can get corrupted. That is how I always viewed wildfire: the corrupted version of fire. It is an attempt to recreate power. Dany already has dragonfire, she literally brought them back into the world, she already has “power”, and she is learning to wield it (dragons, like power, can be wielded in different ways: plus they are living beings, I think this is key when comparing them with wildfire and its symbolic implications) Cersei’s story foils this in so many ways. Fire already has a rich duality in this series: life vs death, emancipation vs corruption, light vs destruction etc. Now let me get into the role fire & light plays in Cersei’s story:

She is associated with fire and passion in the text. She has a hunger for many things, power, love, respect and so on. She seems to mirror wildfire (directly as per Jaime’s description: “She had been a pretty girl, in truth; dimpled and delicate, with long auburn hair. Timid, though. Prone to tongue-tied silences and fits of giggles, with none of Cersei's fire.” , “Their father had been as relentless and implacable as a glacier, where Cersei was all wildfire, especially when thwarted. [….] her fury had been fearful to behold. She does not lack for wits, but she has no judgment, and no patience.”) She feels that that fire, that power, is absent in her life, leaving her in darkness and turning her ice cold.

By the time they left Maegor's Holdfast, the sky had turned a deep cobalt blue, though the stars still shone. All but one, Cersei thought. The bright star of the west has fallen, and the nights will be darker now. She paused upon the drawbridge that spanned the dry moat, gazing down at the spikes below. They would not dare lie to me about such a thing. "Who found him?"' "One of his guards," said Ser Osmund. "Lum. He felt a call of nature, and found his lordship in the privy." No, that cannot be. That is not the way a lion dies. The queen felt strangely calm. She remembered the first time she had lost a tooth, when she was just a little girl. It hadn't hurt, but the hole in her mouth felt so odd she could not stop touching it with her tongue. Now there is a hole in the world where Father stood, and holes want filling.

Tywin is both a symbol and a person that governs so much of Cersei and her relationship with the world. He owned her, a misogynistic traditionalist that sold her and moved her like a chess piece, with no regard to how it would affect her. He did not allow her individualization solely because of her gender. She even thinks he is in hell in her first AFfC chapter, likely for a multitude of reasons. Yet, Cersei aims to emulate his example. She seeks to fill the hole that he left. She wants to prove to him that she is worthy, even in his death. More so than his sons. His absence means darkness to her, because he and his conditioning is all that she knows. She thinks this is the key to recreating that absent fire. This also juxtaposes Jaime’s thoughts when he looks up the same stars. He associates Tywin with death and a feast for crows. He acknowledges that the sun has set, but he does not connect that light to Tywin, and he also thinks about the faint light of distant stars instead. They also come to drastically different conclusions about the worth of a crown. Cersei is repeatedly associated with death, and I do not think it is just about her own doom, but the feast for crows that she will bring about.

The queen could feel the heat of those green flames. The pyromancers said that only three things burned hotter than their sub-stance: dragonflame, the fires beneath the earth, and the summer sun. Some of the ladies gasped when the first flames appeared in the windows, licking up the outer walls like long green tongues. Others cheered, and made toasts. It is beautiful, she thought, as beautiful as Joffrey, when they laid him in my arms. No man had ever made her feel as good as she had felt when he took her nipple in his mouth to nurse. Tommen stared wide-eyed at the fires, as fascinated as he was frightened, until Margaery whispered something in his ear that made him laugh. Some of the knights began to make wagers on how long it would be before the tower collapsed. Lord Hallyne stood humming to himself and rocking on his heels. Cersei thought of all the King's Hands that she had known through the years: Owen Merryweather, Jon Connington, Qarlton Chelsted, Jon Arryn, Eddard Stark, her brother Tyrion. And her father, Lord Tywin Lannister, her father most of all. All of them are burning now, she told herself, savoring the thought. They are dead and burning, every one, with all their plots and schemes and betrayals. It is my day now. It is my castle and my kingdom.

Mind you this seed was already planted in ASoS:

Jaime curled up beneath his cloak, hoping to dream of Cersei. But when he closed his eyes, it was Aerys Targaryen he saw, pacing alone in his throne room.

Then, this is as clear cut of an Aerys parallel as it can get. People use Jaime’s description of Aerys and his relationship with fire, and try to project that onto Dany:

“Aerys would have bathed in it if he'd dared. The Targaryens were all mad for fire.”

The traitors want my city, I heard him tell Rossart, but I'll give them naught but ashes. Let Robert be king over charred bones and cooked meat. The Targaryens never bury their dead, they burn them. Aerys meant to have the greatest funeral pyre of them all. Though if truth be told, I do not believe he truly expected to die. Like Aerion Brightfire before him, Aerys thought the fire would transform him…. that he would rise again, reborn as a dragon, and turn all his enemies to ash. (Beyond obvious how well this fits with Cersei’s current and pending situation like lets be serious) :

I am Cersei of House Lannister, a lion of the Rock, the rightful queen of these Seven Kingdoms, trueborn daughter of Tywin Lannister. And hair grows back.

My crown, the queen thought. They took the other crown away from me, and now they are stealing this one as well.

I should not have done this. I was their queen, but now they've seen, they've seen, they've seen. I should never have let them see. Gowned and crowned, she was a queen. Naked, bloody, limping, she was only a woman, not so very different from their wives, more like their mothers than their pretty little maiden daughters. What have I done?

“He has sworn that he will not speak until all of His Grace's enemies are dead and evil has been driven from the realm.”

Yes, thought Cersei Lannister. Oh, yes.

People take the Targaryen aspect at face value, because they love to pick and choose at what times they want him to be an entirely reliable narrator. Again, Aerys never had dragons, he wanted to recreate them. It is not hard to actually navigate Jaime’s bias here as a result of his trauma, especially considering what Jaime himself thinks of Rhaegar (Rhaegar is not a Targ mad with fire in his mind but the ”good king that never was” lol) and the brutal death of his children at the hands of his family. (Aerys trauma affecting judgement regarding bloodlines was present when he almost pulled a #targrestoration for the trolling after they found him and asked him to name a king and he almost named a Targ as king and his father as hand bc it would make Robert #mad and thats funny until he got Aerys PTSD. He fears the ghost of Aerys returning more than anything else. It is a priority over his family’s interests, even back then). Again, the text is not actually bio essentialist, Jaime just has a very intense and dark relationship with Aerys and immense trauma that affects his logic. Not to mention, again, all that Aerys and some other Targs craved, Dany already achieved naturally. I just find it very funny how some of you people pick and choose when you want this man to be a reliable narrator depending on your agenda. Trust it is actually not that hard to figure it out when he is bullshitting in his thoughts or his words. Just look for contradictory actions or words, or whether his trauma and dissociative tendencies are relevant. Also why would you agree with the logic of “inherently evil and mad bloodline” said by the guy who is currently also convinced that he and his twin are one soul in two bodies who are tied together by fate?

Then, Jaime himself makes an actually reliable connection between Aerys and Cersei. No bloodline bullshit here. Cersei is literally his twin.

"That would be an even greater folly than burning the Tower of the Hand. So long as Tommen sits the Iron Throne, the realm sees him as the true king. Hide him under the Rock and he becomes just another claimant to the throne, no different than Stannis.”

"I am aware of that," the queen said sharply. "I said that I wanted to move the court to Lannisport, not that I would. Were you always this slow, or did losing a hand make you stupid?"

Jaime ignored that. "If these flames spread beyond the tower, you may end up burning down the castle whether you mean to or not. Wildfire is treacherous.'

"Lord Hallyne has assured me that his pyromancers can control the fire. The Guild of Alchemists had been brewing fresh wildfire for a fortnight. "Let all of King's Landing see the flames. It will be a lesson to our enemies."

"Now you sound like Aerys."

Her nostrils flared. “Guard your tongue, ser"

"I love you too, sweet sister."

How could I ever have loved that wretched creature? she wondered after he had gone. He was your twin, your shadow, your other half, another voice whispered. Once, perhaps, she thought. No longer. He has become a stranger to me. (Interesting that Jaime repeatedly associates Cersei with death directly, be it subconscious or conscious, and Cersei makes an accidental connection but not a deliberate one)

Other than the obvious fascination with wildfire, Cersei also aims to hurt him here with Kettleblack, because she is uncomfortable with losing her tool, and also because she is losing a source of warmth/love:

Cersei beckoned to Jaime. "Lord Commander, escort His Grace and his little queen to their pillows, if you would.

"As you command. And you as well?"

"No need." Cersei felt too alive for sleep. The wildfire was cleansing her, burning away all her rage and fear, filling her with resolve. “The flames are so pretty. I want to watch them for a while.”

Jaime hesitated. “You should not stay alone.”

"I will not be alone. Ser Osmund can remain with me and keep me safe. Your Sworn Brother"

"If it please Your Grace,” said Kettleblack.

“It does.” Cersei slid her arm through his, and side by side they watched the fire rage.

We have access to Jaime’s thoughts:

Jaime knew the look in his sister's eyes. He had seen it before, most recently on the night of Tommen's wedding, when she burned the Tower of the Hand. The green light of the wildfire had bathed the face of the watchers, so they looked like nothing so much as rotting corpses, a pack of gleeful ghouls, but some of the corpses were prettier than others. Even in the baleful glow, Cersei had been beautiful to look upon. She'd stood with one hand on her breast, her lips parted, her green eyes shining. She is crying, Jaime had realized, but whether it was from grief or ecstasy he could not have said. The sight had filled him with disquiet, reminding him of Aerys Targaryen and the way a burning would arouse him.

Jaime is aware and is bitter about that, but he hones in on a completely different thing. The bitterness over the cheating takes a backseat to him noticing the ghost of Aerys being present in Cersei. Then, this parallel keeps going. Right after Jaime makes a direct parallel between Aerys and Cersei, as well as associating her with death and corpses again, his thoughts drift to Aerys and his skewed relationship with wildfire & sex. Fire is passion, yes, sexual ardor, but again, wildfire is a corrupted version of fire.

whenever Aerys gave a man to the flames, Queen Rhaella would have a visitor in the night. The day he burned his mace-and-dagger Hand, Jaime and Jon Darry had stood at guard outside her bedchamber whilst the king took his pleasure. "You're hurting me,” they had heard Rhaella cry through the oaken door. "You're hurting me." In some queer way, that had been worse than Lord Chelsted's screaming. "We are sworn to protect her as well," Jaime had finally been driven to say. "We are," Darry allowed, "but not from him." Jaime had only seen Rhaella once after that, the morning of the day she left for Dragonstone. The queen had been cloaked and hooded as she climbed inside the royal wheelhouse that would take her down Aegon's High Hill to the waiting ship, but he heard her maids whispering after she was gone. They said the queen looked as if some beast had savaged her, clawing at her thighs and chewing on her breasts. A crowned beast, Jaime knew.

"And this?" Cersei pinched the nipple now, pulling on it hard, twisting it between her fingers.The Myrish woman gave a gasp of pain.

"You're hurting me."

"It's just the wine. I had a flagon with my supper, and another with the widow Stokeworth. I had to drink to keep her calm." She twisted Taena's other nipple too, pulling until the other woman gasped. "I am the queen I mean to claim my rights.”

"Do what you will.” Taena's hair was as black as Robert's, even down between her legs, and when Cersei touched her there she found her hair all sopping wet, where Robert's had been coarse and dry.

"Please,” the Myrish woman said, "go on, my queen. Do as you will with me. I'm yours.” But it was no good. She could not feel it, whatever Robert felt on the nights he took her. There was no pleasure in it, not for her.

She gasped some words in a foreign tongue, then shuddered again and arched her back and screamed. She sounds as if she is being gored, the queen thought. For a moment she let herself imagine that her fingers were a bore's tusks, ripping the Myrish woman apart from groin to throat. It was still no good. It had never been any good with anyone but Jaime.

Cersei seeks to achieve catharsis. She is exploring her own trauma. She wants to derive catharsis from emulating power. From emulating violent men, emulating Robert. But she experiences no pleasure. She experiences no catharsis. This is not enough. This is not what she is looking for. All she has is the fire.

Its eyes were pools of molten magma, and when it opened its mouth, the flame came roaring out in a hot jet. She could hear it singing to her. She opened her arms to the fire, embraced it, let it swallow her whole, let it cleanse her and temper her and scour her clean. She could feel her flesh sear and blacken and slough away, could feel her blood boil and turn to steam, and yet there was no pain. She felt strong and new and fierce.

This is what Cersei, like Aerys, will want to achieve in a metaphorical and in some ways literal sense. But with wildfire. It won’t work obviously, but it is all that she has.

Now lets talk about Cersei and swords.

Jaime, above most else, functioned as her sword. He was an extension of her, a weapon she desperately needed in order to punish others, and simultaneously protect herself. It was power. She immediately takes note of it when physical and internal change in Jaime is present:

"He'll have Casterly Rock, isn't that enough? Let Father sit the throne. All I want is you." He made to touch her cheek. Old habits die hard, and it was his right arm he lifted. Cersei recoiled from his stump.

"Don't ... don't talk like this. You're scaring me, Jaime. Don't be stupid. One wrong word and you'll cost us everything. What did they do to you?"

"They cut off my hand."

"No, it's more, you're changed." She backed off a step.

Jaime hugged her, his good hand pressing against the small of her back. He smelled of ash, but the morning sun was in his hair, giving it a golden glow. She wanted to draw his face to hers for a kiss. Later, she told herself, later he will come to me, for comfort.

"We are his heirs, Jaime," she whispered. "It will be up to us to finish his work. You must take Father's place as Hand. You see that now, surely. Tommen will need you.”

He pushed away from her and raised his arm, forcing his stump into her face.

"A Hand without a hand? A bad jape, sister. Don't ask me to rule.”

"Your turn," she told him afterward. "Pull his mane, I dare you." He never did. I should have had the sword, not him. (Interesting symbolism as to which one of them is opposed to the lions and which one is not)

If Jaime had not lost his hand. That road led nowhere, though. Jaime's sword hand was gone, and so was he

Jaime may yet come. She pictured him riding through the morning mists, his golden armor bright in the light of the rising sun.

It should be Jaime beside me. He would draw his golden sword and slash a path right through the mob, carving the eyes out of the head of every man who dared to look at her.

Ofc, who she used the weapon against were usually victims, but that is a big part of Cersei as a character, and the whole commentary about victims & perpetrators. You can have an irredeemable and evil character that the patriarchy still suppresses and affects the psychology of immensely, rendering her a bigger monster. The commentary on the destructive capacity of static social constructs is not lost as a result. A character can turn into the devil of the story due to a world that ceaselessly strips her of her humanity, as well as as a result of the choices she actively makes. Cersei has shown to be capable of cruelty even before her trauma (how she treated Tyrion, her extreme narcissism, throwing her best friend down a well), but this does not change anything. Being a perpetrator does not negate her victimhood, and vice versa. It is also her stubbornness and power hunger that leave her to her ruin in a world that does not allow her the ‘freedom’ or ‘power’ that she desperately desires. It becomes the worst combination of nature and nurturer. Her sword is gone for good. The motif of “sunlight” is once again present. It turns his hair/armor gold. She craves the golden Jaime in golden armor, the Jaime from AGoT. But we know Jaime’s color symbolism is heading in a very different direction:

Even at a distance, Ser Jaime Lannister was unmistakable. The moonlight had silvered his armor and the gold of his hair, and turned his crimson cloak to black.

She did as he bid her. "The white cloak . . ." ". . . is new, but I'm sure I'll soil it soon enough." “That wasn't . . . I was about to say that it becomes you”

When he was done, more than three-quarters of his page still remained to be filled between the gold lion on the crimson shield on top and the blank white shield at the bottom.

“Gold? Or silver?" Cersei plucked a hair from beneath his chin and held it up. It was grey. "All the color is draining out of you, brother. You've become a ghost of what you were, a pale crippled thing. And so bloodless, always in white." She flicked the hair away. "I prefer you garbed in crimson and gold."

(Again, gold is heavy negative symbolism for Jaime, another indication that Goldenhand the Just is an obvious dead end, as I have discussed at length atp. It is an attempt to recreate his phantom and cover it up with a golden lie.)

Then, finally, the conclusion for Cersei during her rebirth:

A shadow fell across them both, blotting out the sun. The queen felt cold steel slide beneath her, a pair of great armored arms lifting her off the ground lifting her up into the air as easily as she had lifted Joffrey when he was still a babe.

This is the reason the sun gets blotted out at the end. I think that is a final statement on how he will never be her sword again. So now she needs a new sword. She has Robert Strong, and she has wildfire. Light & sun is repeatedly absent, and she lands in the cold darkness over and over again. She has associations with ice and wildfire. Unlike Jaime, who is often reborn in light & warmth (1. first POV: “sent them toward the pale pink dawn. After so long in darkness, the world was so sweet that Jaime Lannister felt dizzy. I am alive, and drunk on sunlight.” In contrast with Cersei’s first POV: her awakening in her dark chamber after a dream turned nightmare. 2. when the arakh kills his old self: “sunlight ran silver along the edge of the arakh”, 3. the steaming bath. Robert Strong also contrasts Brienne. Interesting that he lifts Cersei up into the air, while Brienne catches Jaime before he could fall. Robert Strong is “cold steel”, while Brienne’s touch is “warm” (noted twice by Jaime). “The cell began to darken. It was growing cold as well. Cersei began to shiver. How can they leave me like this, without so much as a fire? I am their queen.” Cersei on the other hand keeps being put or reborn in darkness, I assume this symbolically has meaning and is no coincidence. Plus, while Jaime chooses to cut his own hair, Cersei is forcefully stripped from it. What is also interesting is what the both of them have in the dark (Jaime’s weirwood dream) are the flames (for Jaime the flaming sword, for Cersei the torch, and later the wildfire).

Again, people want Jaime to be an unreliable narrator here, clouded by bitterness and hatred or something, but I really doubt that is the case. Again, the cheating takes a backseat, and that whole thing is more complicated anyways: it is primarily a catalyst that reveals to him how broken the illusion he created for himself about the relationship is at its very foundation. The whole idea of her love, which is so significant for him, is questioned. There are so many factors that play into their relationship falling apart (they both change, the hand loss, Jaime’s rejection of being Tywin’s heir, his desire to give up power and choose Cersei, while Cersei would never give up power for Jaime, him not understanding the nuances of that as Cersei is inherently more powerless bc of her status and she craves it desperately + differences in nature and experiences. + Cersei asking him to kill Tyrion. Again, they are fundamentally different. This is also a partial reason as to why Jaime rejected her advances post sept scene imo, even if he keeps making inconsistent excuses (location, the dead KG or his father, vows, judgement of the gods [he never really cared about this before: he is a reddit atheist, also did not stop him at the sept]). Some of this is before the cheating reveal.) Jaime does not harm her even if she repeatedly hits him, emasculates him, insults him (he mentioned that he already turned her blows to kisses before) etc. but there is violent anger within him about the cheating. I think this is because that is the one thing that truly creates a major hole in his self-conjured narrative about the relationship (we are one soul in two bodies, destined lovers), as well as something that recontextualizes all the awful things he had actively done to sustain it. Other than all that, let me talk about Jaime and eyes:

Jaime watched her eyes. Pretty eyes, he thought, and calm. He knew how to read a man's eyes.

Bolton's silence was a hundred times more threatening than Vargo Hoat's slobbering malevolence. Pale as morning mist, his eyes concealed more than they told. Jaime misliked those eyes. : Roose Bolton's eyes were paler than stone, darker than milk

He remembered Eddard Stark, riding the length of Aerys's throne room wrapped in silence. Only his eyes had spoken; a lord's eyes, cold and grey and full of judgment.

The clasp that pinned it to her breast was wrought in the shape of a wolf's head with slitted opal eyes. The girl's long brown hair blew wild in the wind. She had a pretty face, he thought, but her eyes were sad and wary. (makes his inaction [link] all the more terrible, his conscience is screaming at him)

"Blue is a good color on you, my lady," Jaime observed. "It goes well with your eyes." She does have astonishing eyes.

The queen's eyes were green ice. "You had best go, ser."

He remembered how Rossart's eyes would shine (another Cersei parallel) when he unrolled his maps to show where the substance must be placed.

With his grim face and deep-sunk hollow eyes, Ser Ilyn might have passed for death himself . . . as he had, for years.

Though his pox-scarred face was grim and his eyes as cold as ice on a winter lake, Jaime sensed that he was glad he'd come.

Sorry, but I am gonna trust what Jaime sees in her eyes at Tommen’s Wedding. His judgement tends to be very accurate. Eyes are the windows to the soul after all.

Every idea that I have discussed at length here is also present in Jaime’s dreams.

Down a twisting passageway he went, narrow steps carved from the living rock, down and down. I must go up, he told himself. Up, not down. Why am I going down? Below the earth his doom awaited, he knew with the certainty of dream; something dark and terrible lurked there, something that wanted him.

The steps ended abruptly on echoing darkness. Jaime had the sense of vast space before him. He jerked to a halt, teetering on the edge of nothingness. A spearpoint jabbed at the small of the back, shoving him into the abyss. He shouted, but the fall was short. He landed on his hands and knees, upon soft sand and shallow water. There were watery caverns deep below Casterly Rock, but this one was strange to him. "What place is this?"

"Your place." The voice echoed; it was a hundred voices, a thousand, the voices of all the Lannisters since Lann the Clever, who'd lived at the dawn of days. But most of all it was his father's voice, and beside Lord Tywin stood his sister, pale and beautiful, a torch burning in her hand. Joffrey was there as well, the son they'd made together, and behind them a dozen more dark shapes with golden hair.

"Sister, why has Father brought us here?"

"Us? This is your place, Brother. This is your darkness." Her torch was the only light in the cavern. Her torch was the only light in the world. She turned to go.

"Stay with me," Jaime pleaded. "Don't leave me here alone." But they were leaving. "Don't leave me in the dark!" Something terrible lived down here. "Give me a sword, at least."

“I gave you a sword," Lord Tywin said.

It was at his feet. Jaime groped under the water until his hand closed upon the hilt. Nothing can hurt me so long as I have a sword. As he raised the sword a finger of pale flame flickered at the point and crept up along the edge, stopping a hand's breath from the hilt.

—- Brienne shows up naked. Jaime cuts her chains. Gifts her a sword. etc.

Brienne's sword took flame as well, burning silvery blue. The darkness retreated a little more.

"The flames will burn so long as you live," he heard Cersei call. "When they die, so must you."

"Sister!" he shouted. "Stay with me. Stay!" There was no reply but the soft sound of retreating footsteps.

— Jaime and Brienne are left to face ghosts, lot of LN imagery and all that. Jaime’s sword’s fire goes out, Brienne’s still burns, he jerks awake before the ghosts rush him with his heart beating. Another moonlight motif happens after he wakes up on a “white stump” and he goes back for Brienne and saves her from the bear etc whatever no longer relevant to Cersei’s story imo

The Lannister legacy is associated with doom in Jaime’s subconscious. Cersei leaves with fire to join the Lannisters, specifically her son and father, and the imagery of death is so prevalent again.

This then mirrors Jaime’s other main dream, where his subconscious mind is communicating with him, right before he burns her letter. Again, overwhelming fire imagery. And it is fire that is destroying her. Like the letter, she is left to burn. First he mistakes his mother for Cersei, and then her leaving him parallels Cersei leaving in the fever dream. His mom, or his subconscious, also presents him with a key reality check:

One. One hand, clasped tight around the sword hilt. Only one. "In my dreams I always have two hands." He raised his right arm and stared uncomprehending at the ugliness of his stump.

"We all dream of things we cannot have. Tywin dreamed that his son would be a great knight, that his daughter would be a queen. He dreamed they would be so strong and brave and beautiful that no one would ever laugh at them."

This is in direct conversation with his last dream (I assume it is deconstructing it. Idk, Jaime, it is almost like Goldenhand the Just is not a real possibility): “Last night he dreamed he'd found her fucking Moon Boy. He'd killed the fool and smashed his sister's teeth to splinters with his golden hand, just as Gregor Clegane had done to poor Pia (we know what he thinks of Gregor, we know this is not good in his mind or ours, it is almost like his subconscious is telling him something). In his dreams Jaime always had two hands; one was made of gold, but it worked just like the other.”

"I am a knight," he told her, "and Cersei is a queen."

A tear rolled down her cheek. The woman raised her hood again and turned her back on him. Jaime called after her, but already she was moving away, her skirt whispering lullabies as it brushed across the floor. Don't leave me, he wanted to call, but of course she'd left them long ago.

Both of their endeavors seem to be dead ends. Cersei is not gonna be the Queen that she always craved to be, despite having the title. Jaime is not and is not going to be the glorious knight, Goldenhand the Just, as he should conclude based on the Riverrun fiasco (this is also why I think Jaime’s very emphasized white/silver/grey replacing gold & crimson color symbolism is not about the KG, it is either something more abstract or it is about the Starks: “White is for the Starks. I’ll drink red like a good Lannister”, ntm how tied Arya is to JB through locations/brotherhood/stoneheart despite their desperate search for Sansa (pointless, she is at the Vale), and horses & wolves, the weirwood, the oath in general, and the fact that WW is half of Ice.) That is his attempt to recreate a fictive ideal that the boy he used to be dreamed of. That is not what true knighthood is about though. It was never about golden glory. These are golden lies. He knows too deep down. He has one hand. He has to look at the ugliness of the stump. It feels like Jaime realizes this, on a subconscious level certainly, and will pivot (especially after confronting what is essentially the embodiment of the worst product of the Lannister regime: a monster created by its sins, the cycle of violence itself, as well Jaime’s specific part in it: Stoneheart) at least I hope so, because that is how his arc would be functional, but Cersei remains steadfast. Also, Cersei remaining passive would feel like her character and the set up did not go anywhere. Whatever she will do with wildfire will be a grand act of agency, and her combatting the state she is in, it is gonna be a very corrupted and poetic act of destruction. She is essentially gonna set herself and the world on fire in order to battle the cold (her enemies, the people that hurt her, witnesses, and the innocents that are a victim to this whole cycle). That is what I would like to see. Jaime’s last AFfC chapter is also supposed to be a point of no return in some form. The idea of “opening the shutters”, winter, is so emphasized. The main reason certain retreading happens in ADwD that some people are obsessed with overanalyzing or misrepresenting (especially bc they need it desperately to justify “Jaime is drawn back to CR of all places to Cersei for no good reason other than he is a codependent addict” so they can get the wildfire + Cersei + KL out of the equation so Dany or whatever can be the Aerys parallel/mad evil kaboom boom person while there still being some lackluster follow through for all of Cersei’s set ups like valonqar etc) is because George’s editor told him to do some retreading with him since he took so long between books that the readers needed a reminder about where these characters were left:

so this entire passage had to be added in to cover these bases. When I read the Feast/Dance combined book it made me laugh how much this part was a “previously on Jaime Lannister.”

But again, he makes a clear choice, motivated by a concoction of things: he goes with Brienne, not back to his King, or back to Cersei. I think he is not ready to face Cersei yet and fears what he would do. I think so many dichotomies were being emphasized in this chapter: Tywin’s dogma, its results, the glory of pursuing the brotherhood, and how it all conflicts with Jaime’s arc in the subtext. I do not doubt he will land back there again, yes, George said they are effectively estranged, the romantic relationship is over, but that does not necessarily mean they will not meet again, nor that they will not hold any relevance in each other’s stories anymore. (Even if valonqar will not be literal, again, he has one hand, and he came to this conclusion in his dreams too in the end, and this fact very much comes in the way of the logistics of “the valonqar will wrap his hands”, if not only literally, certainly symbolically: even if it is the gold chain part two (was one not more than enough George???), I feel like Jaime would struggle with doing it with even that considering his hand situation.) Personally, I would prefer it if that part of the prophecy is subverted and it ends up not being an ex (or any other man for that matter) overpowering and murdering her. George had enough misses when it concerns some misogynistic writing in her storyline, it is 2023 now, so her death not being in anyway “gratifying” for misogynists (see aspects of the framing of Lysa’s death) would be my preference. I would love her death to be on her own terms. I made a parallel about her and Hedda Gabler before, and maybe something of that sort would be the best case scenario. She would rather take herself out in a blaze of glory than let the men (any valonqar, be it Tyrion, Jaime, Aegon etc) do it. That would be tragic as well as in some very dark way her reclaiming agency from fate itself. But honestly I doubt that is the direction George will go. Jaime will probably kill her, and it will be an incredibly grey act. Do not want that to be presented as straightforwardly heroic. I think it will be motivated by a lot of emotion and not just duty. Do not know how this entire situation will go down exactly. Also, really specific detail I noticed regarding prophecy wording, might not be deliberate:

“And when your tears have drowned you, the valonqar shall wrap his hands about your pale white throat and choke the life from you.”

Sometimes he even wept, until he heard the Mummers laughing. Then he made his eyes go dry and his heart go dead, and prayed for his fever to burn away his tears. Now I know how Tyrion has felt, all those times they laughed at him.

Drogon killed a little girl. Her name was … her name …" Dany could not recall the child's name. That made her so sad that she would have cried if all her tears had not been burned away.

And then there was no stopping the tears. They burned down the queen's cheeks like acid.

To my knowledge, these three (+ Cat’s tears burning like vinegar) are the only characters with this specific phrasing present. Interesting anyway.

Also, I am wondering how much Cers will even trust Jaime atp. The sun is blotted out, that has to represent disillusionment, no? Ronnet Connington is also back at KL, we all know what Jaime did to that man when it concerned Brienne, and Cersei’s “he would never abandon me for such a creature. My letter must not have reached him” might entirely fall apart even more if he happens to tell her. Nonetheless, Widow’s Wail is still very much at the Red Keep, and that will have to land in Jaime’s hand(s). Also to further address the theory that the twins will be away from the wildfire and die together at CR since I mentioned it, I do not think the twins should go to The Rock. It is a place that Jaime repeatedly rejected, and Cersei is so closely tied to KL, the throne, and her kids are destined to die because of their crowns. Kevan wanted to return Cersei to The Rock, and what happened to him lol. “So long as Tommen sits the Iron Throne, the realm sees him as the true king. Hide him under the Rock and he becomes just another claimant to the throne, no different than Stannis.” “I am aware of that” the Queen said sharply.

I don’t know guys, doubt Cersei will want to hide under the Rock after what happened. Like you are telling me that Cersei, the one that reached into the lion’s cage, the human embodiment of wildfire, will passively accept all this? “That is not the way a lion dies.” So unless it is like a huge irony moment, which I would honestly like less, I do not think I see it or would like it happening. Also, Jaime is presented with the opportunity to die with Cers twice atp, once at the end of AFfC when the letter comes, and then at ADwD he is on his way back there. He ends up not taking it. In ASoS, when Brienne talks him out of passive suicide under the graceful crescent, he makes “Cersei needs me, I cannot die we need to die together”, “Tyrion who loves me for a lie needs me”, and “revenge against Hoat and co” his purpose to keep living. Notice how literally none of these things come to be. He does not even actively pursue the Hoat gang, revenge “lost its savor” once he sees the brutality that happened to Hoat, Tyrion no longer loves him for a lie and he believes he does not love him at all, and look at what is up with Cersei. “Her need is real enough”, + his bitterness about the cheating is still present in the chapter, and yet he does not end up pursuing any of that and chooses the oath to Cat (he abandons his position alone with Brienne, not exactly the safest thing). Like in his dream, he has his own flame right now, Cersei leaves with her torch and is no longer “the only light in the world” like it used to be as a result of their codependent relationship. The essentialist roots of that were completely deconstructed for both parties, Jaime especially (and it is touched upon again in ADwD w Hildy). So I don’t know why and how he would go to CR to Cersei atp tbh. Something will have to draw him to KL imo. Jaime’s dream is not about CR literally either, one it mirrors Brienne’s dreams and she pictures a different location (ntm they are together in Jaime’s whole dream thing anyway, what the fuck would Brienne be doing over there), two he repeatedly thinks and realizes how there is no such place beneath The Rock by the end. The original CR connection is more metaphorical than anything in my opinion. It is Tyrion that is tied to that place in a plethora of ways. It is his character that it is extremely relevant to. Whatever he will end up doing there will serve just as well with the idea of the destruction of Tywin’s legacy. I think the other two siblings will destroy Tywin’s legacy in different ways.

Finally, here is why it being Dany is thematically pretty dysfunctional imo: link

And even if, after all that, you guys still believe there to be another Aerys parallel in the narrative: This is already in the text. Is Cersei’s role just to foreshadow another woman’s path? You want this same narrative to happen again but with a teenage girl? I sure love that guys great message about women and power.

#disagree with some of this now but the symbolism analysis is good imo #asoiaf #cersei lannister #daenerys targaryen #jaime lannister #aerys targaryen #asoiaf meta #valyrianscrolls #long post

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tinywitchgoblin · 15 days

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Hi I am so sorry I put an ask in a few moments ago for a bad batch ship but I thought of more things to add 😅 so if you don’t mind I’ll start again.

Could I please get a sfw/nsfw if you’re comfortable with that.

I’m in my mid 20s afab, she/her pronouns. I’m an infp a Scorpio, I sit comfortably as an ambivert and I have adhd. I’m 5’7” and am petite with a pear shape body and hearty hips.

I was raised by a kick ass single mother, my passions are music, reading, starwars, theology and mythology.

I am a dreamer who is constantly looking for magic and the impossible. I am empathetic and caring, outgoing, conscientious and compassionate.

In my teen years I was planning on studying to be a doctor like the rest of my family but decided against it when I couldn’t stomach losing patients.

I’m an administrator with a experienced background in medical administration but I have since left the medical profession instead focusing on broad administrative roles.

I my past I have experience with martial arts (ninjitsu and aikido) with focus on Bo staff as well as hand to hand combat and defence, figure skating and reiki.

My family and my friends are my life. I would do anything to protect them. I wouldn’t be who I am today without them. I cannot wait to have children of my own.

I believe that everything in life happens for a reason, both the good and the bad. Everything that we experience shapes us, teaches us and makes us who we are. I wouldn’t change even the worst things I’ve experienced because it makes me who I am. And I’m happy with the person I’ve grown (and am continuing to grow) to be.

If I were in the Star Wars universe I would adore being a powerful force user who only discovered her abilities later into her 20s (who wouldn’t 😂)

I am a romantic person at heart. Although I try to act tough and independent, I’m soft and delicate. I’ve been wronged in love too many times so I have a shield up to protect me. My love language are mainly physical touch and words of affirmation but I enjoy a even amount of all of them. My partner left me at the beginning of the year so I’m learning to be my own person again, heal my heart and start again.

I think I’ve gotten everything this time 😂 thank you so much for your time !

Of course!!

I ship you with...

Echo!

Echo loves every single thing about you, but if he absolutely had to choose, it would be your heart. He sees how much you care about the people around you and how protective you are of your loved ones. Since you started dating (and even before), you grew to be very protective of his family, too, in a way that none of them had really experienced from a non-clone before. Plus, seeing the way you and Omega bonded made his heart melt.

Echo has been through so much pain and suffering, whether that be during or after the war, and he's grown a bit jaded. However, with you, he started seeing the good in the galaxy again. He admires your outlook on life and your desire to learn from your mistakes and become a better person, and he finds it very inspiring. He also finds it fascinating when you talk about theology, especially when it has tangible applications. Echo was never religious, and it wasn't something he was exposed to when he was younger, so to hear you talk about it is something that means a lot to him. He loves having those types of conversations with you.

Learning different types of martial arts was an integral part of Echo's ARC training, so he's a very skilled martial artist- easily the best of the batch. He loves sparring with you and teaching you some of what he learned, as well as learning new techniques from you. It's a good way to keep in shape and he gets to spend more time with you- it's a win-win! Sometimes, Hunter will join in as he has some martial skills as well, but it usually ends with Echo whooping his ass solely for the purpose of showing off (respectfully, of course).

Due to his prostheses, Echo is a bit nervous about engaging in physical affection with you at first, but eventually, after lots of patience and slowly building up to it, he ends up loving it. Some afternoons, the batch will walk in and see you and him cuddling on the couch, fast asleep, not a care in the world. When you sleep at night, you typically end up spooning, but who ends up in which position tends to vary. Either way, as long as you're together, Echo feels safe and secure, both physically and emotionally; you are his safe place.

Thanks for reading! If you want a ship request like this, drop it in my ask box, and don't forget to reblog <3

#the bad bois #the bad batch #clone trooper echo #bad batch echo #arc trooper echo #echo #tbb echo #is there an echo in here #echo the bad batch #echo tbb #the bad batch echo #star wars x reader

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osinfulserpent · 9 months

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who is duke of york?

(fair warning - this is a look at how i characterise duke of york, and the character arc that i envision when writing her. also, thank you to @cursedalthoughts for starting the shipgirl appreciation trend and encouraging me to write this! )

that's a question with many answers, because doy is fundamentally an actor. to understand where this comes from, we have to understand what her environment is.

the royal navy is obsessed with appearances. not (always) in terms of vanity, but the combination of strict hierarchy and the rife repression issues causes an environment where disputes are waged behind backs (the perfect place for both talking and stabbing, after all.) and the air is thick with tension and secrets. doy is the third ship of the king george v class, a battleship line that has manifested only second in importance to queen elizabeth herself. this position means that in such a class-based hierarchy, people look to them for how to act, and look at them to scrutinise their moves. this has impacted how the kgv class goes about their lives: george throws herself into being the perfect leader (without overshadowing the qe class of course, because that's not proper), wales lives up to being a lady in polite company but the rumours that abound about her being lecherous show that her time in the us was likely a way to escape the public eye and live her life, and howe plays into the sweet girl next trope. doy?

doy plays herself.

doy is a vampire - the sole one of her family to be (so far, pls prove me wrong anson) and the friction this creates... doy's nature instantly sets her apart from her family. combined with the physical differences (being the only kgv without red eyes or blonde hair is distinctive enough) she is also the only kgv class with a dietary preference that isn't accommodated in waitrose, which means she is already excluded from enjoying what her oldest and youngest sisters create, which is an expression of love for them - a love she cannot eat, or else she'll be sick. and on top of that, george is a doting sister when not on duty, and george also has a sun motif. her skill activation calls upon the empire and the sun which never sets, wales refers to her presence as like a sun in her memory, 'bright and indiscriminate'. which is a bit of an issue when doy takes after something to which the sun's touch is lethal. every time george reaches out to doy it'll only hurt her more, and the only thing that hurts george more than seeing her sisters in pain is not being able to be there for them, which happens as doy pushes her away thinking that george does not care for her (because she stopped trying to reach out, and because when she does it only causes hurt due to their incompatible goals - george wants her family to be seen as the pinnacle of royals even if it means that george has to sacrifice her time, doy wants to be able to live true to herself even if it means pushing away her family)

doy cannot be true to her nature in the royal navy, where she is in the public eye so often - it opens up her, her family, and her nation to criticism by having a monster among them. she cannot be like wales and be sent to another country to mitigate scandal - that would be seen by some as an act of war. at the same time, many think keeping her among the royal navy is like letting a fox into the chicken coop. yet doy cannot deny herself, either of blood or of her sense of self - she suffers death either way, be it the death of her body or the death of her mind.

her 'solution' is, in the words of shakespeare (and in a play about her namesake no less), she shall play the villain. doy shall be the moon to george's sun, and make the royal navy unite under george for fear of her. she puts herself at odds with the royal navy, but only in a way that the royal navy can see. the cut of her jacket may be daring to an outsider, but it's thoroughly improper for a knight-lady of her status - which one would only know from inside the royal navy. as such, she straddles the line between ship and human and monster in a way few others must. doy paints herself as a monster, a predator, and uses that bloodlust to defend the royal navy, because she is an incredably powerful combatant, and leverages this - the royal navy cannot let her go because else they lose one of their most valuable ships, capable of defeating sirens with both gun and blade. so in return, the royal navy gives her a ration of blood bags and pretends not to see what she gets up to. (officially. maids talk, after all, and ladies are horrible gossips.) so now when doy stalks the halls of the base, it is with a cape and whispers behind her. she can play at being a lady and take tea in the garden gazebos, she can stir up rumour by seducing a maid. she doesn't have to worry about what is proper for one of her station, because anything she does will be commented on but none of them can do anything about it. no one knows what is proper for her station, because no one knows what her station is. she is free of the shackles of royal society, and bound in the ones she cast herself - by casting herself in this role.

she now draws the ire of detractors in the royal navy - wales got handsy with a eagle carrier? doy seduced, fucked, and drank the blood of a past defeat from the ironblood, so people forget about wales' deeds. doy is a protector in the same way a dagger is - subtle, deadly, and prone to driving people to madness. doy throws herself into tragedies because they are villains of circumstance and choice, like her, because each new play gives her her lines and stage directions because the moment she leaves her room each day she is on stage and even in the wings she must rehearse. even her room is set with props to further sell her character, as if each day that she wakes up onstage she'll believe her persona her true self. she sees herself in those pages because she cannot allow herself the hope of a comedy, not when her smile displays fangs. it is better, in doy's mind, to choose to lock yourself away than risk rejection.

and these are all things she unambiguously likes! doy is a creative person, and she loves the macabre too - but she cannot let such a weakness be exploited, and so when she must talk about it to others she introduces it with an air of cynicism, because she cannot be true to herself, not when she has spent so long cultivating an image under those harsh spotlights of the public gaze. doy is hesitant to step off the stage, and thus outside of the rules she's made for herself and caged herself in. even when she lets someone inside it still takes time for her to unmask, and even then it seeps through. even once she is comfortable to, she jests about her nature in a self-deprecating way.

and so, doy has locked herself in to a state of existing between scylla and charbydis - the greek monsters, not the maids (she'd likely not mind that) - where she cannot be herself, or risk being outcast by her reason for existing, nor can she be someone she is not, due to her nature.

doy played herself.

there's friction between her other sisters too - wales' career is... less glorious than doy, and it leads to wales' inferiority complex towards her sisters, which when doy plays the villain makes it easy for her to step in and show off her skills. the issue arises when doy gets as much attention as she does - after all, there's no better excitement for an audience than a villain they love to hate

and howe... howe, who is near universally loved, who has social calls and pleasant words aplenty is a cruel inversion of doy, who is regarded with fear on land but whose capabilities in war are never once brought into question, unlike howe, who wishes people would see that she's just as capable as her older sisters.

and doy envies her sisters for all that they can do - what is a duke, when compared to a king, a prince, or an admiral?

second-rate.

but doy is not the only vampire within the royal navy. surely a precedent must be set with vampire too? alas, not in a way that impacts doy. vampire's manifestation prepared the royal navy for the concept of a vampiric shipgirl, but vampire is a destroyer, not a royal knight. people do not look to vampire to lead, to sign policies, to deal the killing blow. this is something which creates a rift between the two - vampire can be herself and have a relationship with others in the royal navy, even if it is shadowed by her nature. vampire is perhaps the one person in the royal navy who would understand doy, but doy has convinced herself that she doesn't want to be understood - and in truth, is terrified of understanding herself, because it calls into question all the decisions she's made.

she plays her role with all the grandeur an actress could dream of, and those she shares the stage with, even for one night, are lavished with gifts - the only price is being tainted by the vampire. her estate is remote, unlike her sisters that reside at least somewhat close to civilisation, doy lives in the yorkshire pennines, in the dark peak, an area of the peak district known for its brooding moorland and bleakness - a place no one would come to unless in distress or invited there by doy. it is in her own home where doy is her most herself - as seen by dropping the iambic pentameter, which she adopted as a false heartbeat to replace the stillness of her own.

doy's desire for blood and the carnality that accompanies it is treated with distance, and so doy distances herself in order to spare herself the heartache, never addressing the core misconception, thus the cycle continues

and so, doy is an actor with many masks. the monster, the sister, the fiend, the lady. perhaps one day she'll figure out who she is behind it.

#haha get it bc second-rate is a way to refer to ships?#hms duke of york #azur lane #azurlane #azln #anyway pls ask me abt the queer parallels

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