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goldsbitch · 4 months

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Just don't talk---

-to me.

p4 to Just don't talk

summary: Enemies to lovers on steroids. Y/N unknowingly crosses a line, making it impossible for Lando to continue their little affair.

warnings: cursing, typos

Sometimes, the world of F1 really required one to grow up fast. Y/N had noticed strange looks from few of the team members during meetings and sessions for the whole week. She tried not to give it much thought - that was until her manager called, on a late Wednesday evening and broke the news. There were serious talks of her being replaced by someone, who used to drive for her team before and wanted back. She, as an average rookie, couldn't stand a chance and couldn't possibly play the "female driver" card (which she hated anyway). The phone call with her manager was a hard one, nothing seemed to be confirmed, but her pro active guardian angel worked on having enough close friendships around the team to know the news before it got to be known around the paddock. Her heart was racing for life, hand shaking, mind running wild. This couldn't be happening. They can't just drop her out of nowhere, she tried to convince herself.

She lived in this uncertainty for three days, constantly in contact with her own team, focusing on not failing at her job, completely ignoring any texts or calls from people outside her comfort zone. Yet, she didn't hesitate to schedule a hook up with Lando. A break though came when her manager called, informing her that she currently in negotiations with another f1 team for potential transfer, she called it a "just in case" back up, but sounded a little too excited for it being a back up team. Even when Y/N begged to know what team that was, her manager did not cave in, saying it was just too early stages.

What a perfect waste of time. Every evening in her busy life was a calculation, a plan to keep or alone time prescribed by herself. Tonight they were suppose to meet up with Lando, in the morning they'd texted about it, he even cracked a joke and appeared to be in a generally easy going mode. But 8pm rolled in and no text, call or even a doorbell. After a half an hour of pacing around and pretending to be busy, she found herself in a completely clean kitchen, finished emails and painted nails. Lando was rarely ever late without a note beforehand. She was not going to text him. That would be too needy. Few episodes of some sitcom, which she had to rewind several times as her attention span lasted about two minutes. Minutes rolled in like a cruel indicator of how much she took as a given that they'd see each other. How much it wasn't on the table that he would ditch her. At some point, she had to come to terms with it. But nobody was there to force to admit that she felt a strange hollow feeling in her stomach. She pushed all thoughts into the back of her head and focused on her next racing plan. That's what she was suppose to be anyway. She might face being replaced out of nowhere, she had to be at her best game. Only when she lost the option of the only distraction that seemed to work in the form of Lando's smirk, she realized how much tension she held within her. It wasn't a night filled with much sleep for her. The late night loneliness crept in, loveless mornings had pilled up over time into a tower blocking the sunshine in. She sat on her bed, second guessing every choice she ever made - was the racing even worth it all? She could have been married by now? What a strange concept. Was she ever going to do so? In a man's world, was there an option to find a lover who would not challenge her and only induce her anxiety? She circled back to her first and only love and wasn't even sure if she had the privilege to call it that as the memory of the slacker guy from her hometown literally slept through their break up. Often she'd watch her colleagues hop on the first plane to spend as much time as this lifestyle allowed with a loved one. She had yet to find out what that kind of a flight felt like.

A whole week had passed since that night. They saw each other on numerous occasions and both of them avoided each other's looks, as if they would turn to stone if their eyes had met. It was good for their public image.

Y/N was excited when her manager finally met up with her in person to tell her about a potential team transfer, should the silly season kick in hard. "I'm not saying anything is set in stone. There have just been few meetings, lawyers checked up your contract again for potential breach causes, so we did some work in the meantime," she stated dramatically over a coffee date they'd set up at Y/N's hotel room. Her manager seemed unusually giddy, excitement poking through her professionalism. "There is a possibility, now, hold your horses, just a possibility, that there might be an open seat at McLaren soon." This came as a shock wave. Y/N always admired her manager, who was always three steps ahead of everyone. Her mind started to race in many conflicting directions. McLaren was an exciting team, definitely a promotion. So was this why Lando ghosted her? Because she might potentially become his teammate? That was just a little too childish of him, she thought, judging her own choices in a hook up "buddy". "So does that mean that Oscar is thinking about leaving the team?" "Well, not exactly. Technically, nobody is thinking about leaving the team. Also, it's not Oscar, but Lando." And the penny dropped.

Lando had been in this business for years. He knew well enough what was up. Made sure to have people at the right places, faithful souls who loved him a little too much and were willing to breach their NDA for him. Of course he knew that Y/N's managers were speaking to McLaren. And also why. It took him by surprise, that was for sure. He was a great racer with a big potential. When he learned in secrecy that the reason why McLaren is thinking of changing up their driver line up, it wasn't exactly because of the actual racing, but more of marketing and appearing as a young hip team, it made him furious. Lando had started to become an old news for the marketers. Oscar and Y/N pairing had intrigued them. Of course he wasn't going to keep on with their little love affair. She was becoming a threat, more so outside the track than on the track. He was mad when he found out. Of course he had always kept his distance from Y/N. But this felt personal. She truly was a ruthless bitch, as his gut had told him from day one. It probably wasn't even attraction what he felt towards her, just his subconsciousness telling him to keep his enemies closest physically possible. He tried to hold of thinking about their glorious sex. There were bigger things at stake. He didn't feel threatened. Just little bit betrayed. He had to take action.

Once her manager left, she found herself pacing around her room yet again. Thoughts jumping one over another. Excitement skipping over anxiousness, joy being overrun by a sinking fear. She was always going to put her career first. So why was there a sudden urge to run to wherever Lando was and explain that she had no idea this was being set up in her name.

It was a strangely bittersweet feeling, standing at a photoshoot for her contract renewal. There was an unspoken tension between her and the team leaders, nobody willing to talk openly about the fact that they were about to drop her and she was talking about running to different team. But there she was, faking smiles, staying with the team for another two seasons, hating this industry more than ever before. In the end, she gave her everything just to stay in an environment that made her feel just like another clog in the all too big entertainment machine. McLaren calls were getting postponed and everyone knew what that meant, so her own personal team decided to jump for the first option that offered some security. With that, she smiled and posed again. Merely a shell of the fiery girl that bit Lando's arm just weeks ago. All this stress, loneliness and self-doubt had changed the course of her energy.

"Oh, you're taking the same elevator?" Lando asked, shooting arrows at Y/N as he pressed the close door button. He had imagined many times that he would slam a door in her face and this was the closest her could get to that. She put her hand into the door gap, giving him a strict eye roll. Finally, faith brought them into a place where they were alone again. "Really?" she said walking in the elevator. Lando tried to be the bigger and mature person. Being around her was making it impossible. He was angry and frustrated. "So...how are you?" she tried to break the ice. "You have never asked me that before. Are you sick?" "No, I'm just...we haven't spoken-" "-ever. No reason to start now," he said, acting as if this was all passing him by. Scrolling on his phone without a care in the world. "I didn't know..." "What..?" "I didn't know that my managers were having these talks," she said softly. There was an apology on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't bring herself to actually say it. "And are you looking for my advice on how to keep the people who you pay in check? Or what is the purpose of this conversation?" "I'm just...I never wanted to try and push you out of..you know." Lando laughed. "That's some severe delulu vibe you're giving off." "Sorry?" she reacted, genuinely confused. "The audacity you have! Thinking you can manipulate the situation better than I do. Princess, I've been in the game years more than you and survived bigger shitstorms - do you really believed I'm here only because I'm a good driver? No, these games are half of the work. So no, I absolutely do not believe that you didn't know about this. And the fact that you're trying to convince me of that is highly disrespectful." Y/N was taken back, processing several conflicting reactions at the same time. The always calm Lando got pushed over the edge. And he was not done. "Next time you're drowning, don't reach out to drag me down too. You should be grateful, you got to keep your job and certainly no thanks to the shitty managers of yours, so you're welcome. I'm genuinely surprised that you landed the job you now have in the first place."

It was a lot of information blurted at her. But she got a hold of the important part. "Lando? What did you do?" He took a deep breath. He said too much. "You will never find out. Now stop talking."

Y/N hit a pause on the elevator. Not that it would help, she figured they had only few minutes extra before someone would be over to run the machine again. "The fuck are you doing," Lando exclaimed and tried to stop her. His hand grabbed her arm and Y/N got an instant flashback to the night he tied her to her own bed frame. "Did you help me?" she asked, anger spitting out of her lips. "Let's not dive into that, shall we? Now, get the elevator running." "I don't need your help, Lando." "This was not any help, I'm trying to keep you out of McLaren, so don't read into it." While that did sound reasonable, Y/N knew there was more. With that, the fire she'd been missing for weeks entered her system again. "Stop helping me, Lando," she said in a serious tone, stepping closer to the guy still holding her arm. She quickly pushed it away. "I don't need your help." She was really pushing it, he thought and bursted. "Is that so! I saw that last week. Your weak strategy and poor results nearly got you dropped. " "No, not dropped. Replacing you." "It would take the hell to freeze over for that to happen, Princess naivité. It was a straight path back to f2 at best. Get your shit together and get a grip over those who act in your name and grow up. Nobody is going to save you next time." She wondered what exactly he did, but knew that there will be a time and place for that conversation. Lando cursed himself for saying it all at once. He was there, lecturing her on strategy, while not being able to follow his own for a second when she was around. Said things he planned on keeping for himself forever. She stood in front of him and he could read the surprise on her face. Anger left her body and suddenly she never looked so innocent. Just a scared girl standing in front of him, trying to navigate their complicated world. The only reason he helped her was because he felt sorry for her. Nothing else. Definitely. "How can I repay you?" she asked, humbled by the newly found information. He took his time to respond. Prolonging this moment just a little. Knowing that soon enough, the innocent face he stared at would soon turn to its usual pseudo-tough-cool-girl mask. It was as if he saw the real Y/N for the first time. "You could stop whining and get this elevator running," he said slowly, as if his body was rejecting these words. Without any other comment, she obeyed his wish. They both turned away from each other and continued in silence. Lando had secretely hoped that she would question him more. She let out a little thank you when exiting the elevator. He watched her leave and forgot for a moment into which floor he was supposed to originally go. She paced away from his as fast as she could. These past few days have pushed her to the limit and the conversation with Lando was the last straw, the word "Princess" screaming in Lando's voice in her head.

part 5

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@scopeiguess @multifandomwhore-003

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waterme-stories · 2 months

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Wild to me that there are ship wars for Interview With The Vampire when, as a teen, The Vampire Chronicles were some of my first exposure to non-monogany.

Obviously it wasn't perfect. I mean, Lestat/Louis/Claudia is a textbook example of "relationship broken, add more people (oh no now it's even more broken)," and "not every Vee should become a Triad." If you've ever experienced the drama of an incestuous non-mono community where everyone's dated everyone... those books all get a little too real. There's backstabbing, jealousy, domestic abuse, and more murder than I personally prefer in my own polyamory 😅

But there's also "we belong to each other, why would anything we do with other people affect that?" There's "let's find out what it looks like to be with someone for the rest of my life (or theirs)." The idea that relationships have value even if they don't last forever. That romantic relationships aren't inherently more important than platonic ones. The idea that you can hold multiple people in your heart at the same time, that there's room for everyone. That the relationship escalator (dating > marriage > kids > death) isn't the only (or best) way to have significant, committed relationships.

They introduced the concept of comet relationships to my baby brain more than a decade before I would learn the actual term--those people you don't see for months or years but as soon as you see them it's like no time has passed (a personal favorite for my ADHD ass).

Like, when I say those books changed my brain chemistry, I mean that my silly little self-insert Mary Sue OCs went from "marry my fictional crush and be with them forever" to "what if they only saw each other once or twice a year but it was still incredible" and "what if she was married but also had a vampire lover and everyone was chill about it (and also she was a rock star)" and "what if they all lived in one big house together" and/or "what if lived by herself and found that fulfilling" and "what if men and women and ???" That shit was formative. Some of those little daydream OCs live in my brain to this day.

Idk man. I don't have much patience for ship wars anyway (and I'm scratching my head about people getting upset about canon relationships being, you know, canon). But with TVA especially, my brain simply cannot comprehend it in a monogamous framework.

#sorry to accidentally write a manifesto. like I said this shit was FORMATIVE.#and I'd honestly kind of forgotten how much until the show came out.#kind of afraid to use the main IWTV tag but it's part of my blog filing system so 😅#interview with the vampire #the vampire chronicles #polyamory #non monogamy #personal #media analysis #fandom discourse #relationship anarchy #water logs

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zahri-melitor · 6 days

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Newish Comics:

Batman: The Brave and the Bold #12: It...just occurred to me this Gotham Academy era story is in fact a flashback/alternate continuity set probably shortly after Second Semester, because Alfred is alive and they go to the ordinary Cave. Which tracks with my usual hypothesis that everything happening in Gotham Academy is NOT actively connected to main continuity unless proven otherwise. Anyway, this again is proving that Maps isn't actually an active Robin in the main continuity, and right now she's appearing as Future!Meridian which is actually a cooler role for her, honestly.

I honestly haven't read much Gentleman Ghost so this was interesting? Nice to see a bit more than him just appearing in a group scene.

Artemis story remains excellent, apart from the tragic fact it intersected with the stupid current Wonder Woman plot. I do like that it's portraying the ridiculous level of overreach involved in the 'ban the Amazons' concept.

(for reference, they're currently in Qurac)

It's damning to me that every other person working around this storyline is building a more interesting narrative, but what can you do?

There's a Swamp Thing story and I loved it and I am getting closer and closer to going wild and starting a massive Swamp Thing read. It's some gorgeous conception of death though.

The henchman story is...fine, I guess? If you're a fan of looking at the socioeconomic dynamics of the Gotham hench crowd, it's probably up your alley.

The Flash #8: We can have Barry wondering how Wally does it all and Wally being central to the universe, as a treat.

Green Arrow #11: I am so torn on this title. I think its biggest crime is possibly being just a little TOO indulgent and juggling too many balls, rather than focusing in telling one or two of these stories in better detail.

Because. In terms of what Williamson is doing here, he's: reuniting the entire Arrow family for the first time since 2010 or so including bringing in peripheral characters like Cissie for the first time (but not Sin); he's given specific 'you're alive!' reunions for Roy and Lian, Ollie and Connor, Ollie and Mia, and so on, untangling situations where people simply didn't know the other was bopping around again; he's doing a lot of work setting up Waller for Absolute Power; he's giving us an excuse for why Green Arrow as a title has been off page for so long; he's making it a love fest for lovers of the Arrows by the list of artists involved, including multiple nostalgic favourites AND Sean Izaakse doing modern redesigns for everyone's costumes...and he's doing it in a title that was originally sold as a mini, expanded to a maxi, and then finally given an ongoing.

I think, honestly, the title is overwhelmed with too many goals crammed in just in case this was the only Green Arrow story we got for the next however long.

And equally, while being overly ambitious in terms of what it wants to achieve, the plot itself is moving at a glacial pace and is pretty underwhelming, in that there simply isn't time and space to devote to plot when the title is also busy juggling "has everyone seen that Lian and Connor are alive yet?" and flashbacks to re-establish everyone's connections to Ollie, and explanations to retcon previous behaviour, and and and...

I think it would be less frenetic if it had been signed off from the beginning as an ongoing, so the book could have just gone "5 issue story, followed by a Roy and Lian reunion issue, followed by 5 issue story, followed by an issue that's about Ollie finding the house full again and juggling kids moving back in," and so on.

All that said, I do think it's a good title to give to someone who's curious about Green Arrow as a title as an intro to get them interested and excited about the range of characters involved. I just don't think it's showcasing the best of Green Arrow storylines well.

And that's okay! But I think it's trying to achieve the reset that say Jeremy Adams' Flash gave the Flash books, without having the space and pacing that Adams had over 33 issues to achieve his final goal.

Oh, the actual story this issue? It’s Merlyn trying a bit hard to convince everyone he’s really one of Ollie’s biggest foes (typical Merlyn).

This made me laugh however:

Love that Izaakse specifically decided to use a bunch of particularly mid to sucky Dinah and Roy costume choices here and didn’t include their best costumes. You’ve got my back.

The Warlord #49: This week in the Lost Land of Skartaris, Shakira bets Travis that he can't go an entire story without using his gun.

They proceed to investigate a mysterious castle, where Travis and Shakira are avoiding traps and seeing skeletons. They end up defeating a mummy.

Travis, apparently unmoved by the promise of large piles of gold. He lives only for war!!!

But then...a leopard jumps out at them! Travis reacts and shoots it!

Sucks to be you, Travis.

Also we get a check in with Jennifer, who while asleep in her bed in the mysterious new castle encounters...a head-hand man?

Nightmare is a good description, yes.

Also we had a freaking Mongo Ironhand story running in the bottom panels of each page, that contained Legally Not Gollum.

Gollum's 'pretty' is a book of magic, which turns him into a demon known as the Evil One.

Also there's a Claw the Unconquered backup, which is pretty ordinary, but this particular panel is just some beautiful art.

#z canon read throughs #newish comics

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greenapplebling · 1 year

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Sun god Aten and... love goddess Hathor?

So I'm not an expert myself but I was hearing a podcast about underrated love gods (Valentine coming up and all that shadda shadda) and Hathor came up and I was like "yooo, you sound familiar?"

And then I remembered it. It was like 2 years ago when I looked her up briefly bc someone made a Yuunoa theory and the gist of it was that if Yuu is/represents sun god Aten and if the cover of Vol 23 (see below) implies that Shinoa is/represents the goddess of the moon (I don't remember her name, but I think it was a goddess that was linked to cats/had the head of a cat) then that could be a foreshadowing of Yuunoa being endgame bc those 2 gods are married in the Egyptian mythology

Anyways, the op of that post got fact-checked by the whole comment section (lol). That moon goddess they were talking about is portrayed as Aten's daughter more often than not, is love goddess Hathor the one who's usually portrayed as Aten's wife and mother of his children (Note: including Aten/Ra*, Hathor had lots of spouses but all of them were related to the sun)

*Note #2: Aten and Ra are confusing to me but it seems like they are different entities, but there's a moment when Ra merges with Aten, though Idk if it's permanent or temporary

I didn't say anything at the time, but to me, the more I learn about Hathor the more I believe that there is a character who could represent her: Mika

1- The entity of many forms

Even though Hathor is known for being the goddess of love and motherhood, it seems that binding her to just a concept is unfair bc Hathor is known as the goddess of the many faces or forms. This is a little confusing to me, but she seems to have many roles. For ex, not only is she Ra's wife and lover but she can also be his protector if needed (more on this later). The way I connect this to Mika is that he's the character that passed through the most forms along the story: from angel to human to vampire to demon

Love goddess Hathor

2- Motherhood

I don't think this should be a surprise but I always thought one of Mika's most prominent traits is how motherly he is. He takes cares of others, he protects, he loves. We don't get to see this side of him often in the present (unless it's Yuu) bc of his trust issues, but I think it's noticeable how much he cares about others. And if that is not convincing enough, let me remind you of Mika's biggest desire: have his family back. In the dream Yuu and Mika took care of the other children, made food for everyone, bathed them, etc., Mika even jokes that they're like their parents and if that doesn't scream family-oriented then I don't know what does

3- The first vampire

I mentioned before how one of Hathor's forms is to become Ra's protector, right? Well, there's a story of how Ra mistrusted the humans and thought they were conspiring against him, so he sent Hathor in the form of Sekhmet to earth to punish everyone that was scheming against him. At some point Sekhmet tasted blood and, no longer caring about her divine job, she let her bloodlust run wild to the point she almost destroyed humanity. Sekhmet is the first vampire in mythology that we have records of. Not only do I tie this to Mika bc of his former vampirism but also bc his protection of Yuu was at his peak when he was a vampire

War and healing goddess Sekhmet

BONUS: 4- Aten's wife

Mika being Yuu's wife is a running joke in ons, do I need to say more?

What do you guys think? Do I have a point or am I going bananas? Lol, I'm open to corrections and discussions if I got anything wrong

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blueteller · 1 year

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Random Disney Theory: Hunchback of Notre Dame

So, you know how you re-watch your favorite childhood movies sometimes, and suddenly you get wild theories?

(No? Just me? ....Okay then...)

Aaaanyway, I just watched the Hunchback of Notre Dame again (specifically, I skipped to listen to all to songs, because they're amazing, obviously). And something important occurred to me, and I can't have been the only one to notice this:

Quasimodo... doesn't look like this biological parents at all.

(Keep in mind: I know that this movie is based on a book, so maybe there are answers about that in the original source material. I've never read the book, however, and we all know Disney just takes the general concept from their source materials anyway. So I'm just focusing on what we are shown in the movie, and that's it.)

Now, I admit: it's only a defult assumption that the Romani man in the beginning with Quasimodo's mom ("Romani" being the current official, non-offensive name for the "Gypsy" poeple, according to web info) was her husband, or Quasimodo's father. It doesn't mean that was the case.

Perhaps the man was her brother, thus Quasimodo's uncle. Perhaps the two Romanis were simply friends, or temporary companions. (Personally I don't believe that, since their body language when they saw Frollo seems to imply a close relationship). Or maybe they were lovers, but due to some complicated circumstances the man was Quasimodo's stepfather, his biological father being someone else.

All of that doesn't matter, however. Because no matter how I look at it, even if Quasimodo's father was some light-skinned, green-eyed, red-haired man... that's not how genetics work. Red hair is a recessive trait: meaning, he should have taken after his dark-haired-and-skinned mother. Even if Quasimodo was only half-Romani, he doesn't share any Romani, and it's clearly not because he's deformed. He has typical European descend.

Quasimodo just isn't... a biological Romani, and it's obvious.

The answer to "how can that be?" is simple, of course: Quasimodo had to be adopted. ...Twice, if you count whatever the heck Frollo. But if you put this information in the perspective of the whole movie... doesn't that make the fate of his mother unbelievably tragic?

Picture this: a Romani woman, obviously on the run from something – probably racial persecution – adopts an infant son. A deformed infant son, of a different race than herself. What does it tell you about Quasimodo's past...?

Quasimodo was actually abandoned before, by his real birth mother. Frollo was accidentally correct about that!!

...Of course, it's possible that his birth mother just died during birth or something, but like... wouldn't then Quasimodo be adopted by one of his relatives? Or family friends? If he was loved by his biological parents, there should have been someone. The Romani clearly weren't trusted folks in that time period, so sincerely entrusting them with a baby seems extremely unlikely. It's far more plausible that Quasimodo was abandoned on a street, and picked up by the travelling couple, who took pity on the child.

Naturally, the fact that Quasimodo's mother adopted him doesn't make him any less her true son. She was a real mother to him – as proven by the fact that she died for him. She was running with such desperation, and not for a moment did she consider abandoning her baby in order to escape Judge Frollo.

And this is what makes this whole thing so tragic... Quasimodo's Romani mother loved him sincerely, with all her heart, as a mother should. There is no doubt about it. And yet, not only did Frollo kill her, then tried to kill her baby, then raised Quasimodo so cruelly... he spent the next 20 years telling Quasimodo that she was the kind of person who abandoned him. That "Gypsies are not capable of real love". He sullied her name in the most despicable way possible.

Ah, Frollo, that disgusting man... I'm so glad he was so petty he revealed the truth to Quasimodo in the end. She really deserved to be remembered for what she did for him.

#disney #hunchback of notre dame #quasimodo #judge frollo #quasimodo's mother #theory #disney theory

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wannab-urs · 1 year

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The Spreadsheet Digest - Fic Recs | Vol 5

Happy friday, friends <3

It's that time of the week again! Here are (almost) all of the fics I read this week + my unhinged rambling. As always, you can find my complete spreadsheet here.

This week, I left off a bunch of fics I read because they're part of a little thing I'm doing with my friends called Peg That Middle Aged Man Campaign 2023 - pegging a bunch of pedro boys!! Those will be put in a masterlist next week and I will link that list on next week's Digest.

Cowboy Like Me - a Javi P series by @cutesyscreenname

-> Every single thing about this is so good. The bi reader. The soft javi. the banter. the smut. the slowburn. the buildup. I am SCREAMING. Hannah this fic is ruining my life it's so good

Bad Mood - a Joel one shot by @javiscigarette

-> If I had this man to spank me out of my bad moods i'd be happy forever

Lead me not into temptation - a Marcus Pike one shot by @whataperfectwasteoftime

-> Based on midnight mass + fleabag, I have a thing for sexy priests... so I was intrigued. I wasn't raised catholic but I do have religious trauma so this is right up my alley lmao. The internal struggle within Marcus is portrayed beautifully. The way he describes his lover, the way the lord's prayer is interwoven... UGH this is stunning. It's really emotional but is also really hot (bc when do I ever read non-smut lmao).

Bekväm - an Ezra one shot by @whataperfectwasteoftime

-> Lol just realized i read this a while ago (pre-spreadsheet) while trolling their masterlist but anyway. I love one armed Ezra so much. And this is a really great take on that. The main character is so fun. The concept was neat. They capture Ezra's voice nicely. The smut was gorgeous and wonderfully captured the experience of someone recently um... disarmed.

The Crucible - a Marcus Pike one shot by @whataperfectwasteoftime

-> Holy shit dude! I love a good BDSM fic... this one manages to capture that soft, sweet angel baby vibe you get from Marcus while also weaving in his confidence and sexiness. The "soft dom" voice and actions being literally juxtaposed with what his right hand is doing??? Incredible.

Siren Song - a Joel one shot by @proxima-writes

-> This is so fucking hot dude. Joel being needy and desperate is everything I needed right now. I really liked the dynamic with Tommy also.

Fuse - a Din/Ezra series by @marisferasiop

->My mind is blown. I was speechless for 5 full minutes after reading this. I was thankful for my vivid imagination while reading it because those were some WILD positions. I also somehow never considered merging Mando and Prospect? It's so perfect! Din and Ezra together is something I didn't know I needed. Put me in that sandwich please.

Lie to Me - a Javi P series by @iamskyereads

-> Javi is so soft and protective and cute ugh. And I love the TV show Lie To Me because I'm a crime drama junkie, so the human lie detector!reader is really fun for me. I'm on the first interlude at the time of writing this (so about 5 chapters in) and I've been thoroughly sucked in to the story. Also the way you're weaving in plot elements? Or rather weaving your story into the existing plot so seamlessly? Masterful work, fr.

My World a Dio one shot by @sneetsnootyoit

-> So cute and soft and sweet and HOT. And love that the reader is GN! Soft and sweet Dio is such a fun change from the type of fics I usually see for him and I am so here for it.

Red Smoke - an Ezra one shot by micha-alien (ao3)

-> Dirty talking Dom Ezra, set just before the movie. It is... unreasonably hot. He's mean in all the best ways in this and a little feral and so very fucking yummy.

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Recs from pre-Digest era that literally live rent free in my head:

Please - a Dieter one shot by @ezrasbirdie

Sex Worker!Frankie AU - a Frankie series by @prolix-yuy

Meant to Be - an Oberyn series by @radiowallet

The Crush - a Javi P series by @the-ginger-hedge-witch

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I've put out some pegging fics this week so go find those and keep an eye out for the masterlist if that's your thing.

Also I'm putting finishing touches on Burn Slowly/I Love You ch 2 (my soft sweet former firefighter!Frankie AU)

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro fics #pedro pascal character fanfiction #fic recs #spreadsheet digest #vol 5

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emahriel · 5 months

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Hi! First of all I just want to say that I adore your blog and Fjorn! One of my favorite tumblrs 100% (:

I have a question about oc’s and development and backstory. I have a Female high elf (rogue) and i’m trying to write a backstory for her, like where she comes from, her family, past lovers etc what happened before she met the companions basically. But its SO hard and usually i have no problem with this but with bg3 i feel like i’m more limited with the ideas, because i want it to make sense with the bg3/dnd universe. Like the place she grow up in etc, i feel like that has to be a place related to high elfs in the bg3/dnd universe if that makes sense? Anyway do you have any tips when writing backstorys for your oc? Thanks a lot!

Hello there! Thank you so much for the love, I appreciate it! I’m gonna be honest, I don’t have very good tips when it comes to writing backstories and I feel like I’m still in the process of figuring that out myself – but I’ll share tidbits from my process if it can help!

Generally speaking, I take specific concepts or ideas from other medias/characters I like to start with (for instance, the idea of a tragic past and trying to escape from someone for years until a nautiloid snatches my Tav away – a miracle in disguise, aka the beginning of bg3). I also knew I wanted my character to somewhat go through the following states: good – evil – neutral.

Thus began the process of reading! So the first thing I did was figure out if there was a good race that would work with that. I was thinking of a Drow or maybe a Tiefling, but I eventually settled for Aasimar despite them not being in the game. Then I stumbled upon Fallen Aasimar and was like damn… this is perfect for the concept of a ‘‘damned’’ character. After figuring that out, I thought about the class and what would fit the best. Tbh I had just watched The Witcher: Blood Origin (wasn’t great) so a big inspiration for Fjorn was Merwyn and Fjall (with Fjall being assigned as her protector, and Merwyn – an Empress- being evil), so I settled for Paladin since they swear Oaths and it worked with that concept. It wasn’t until Larian announced Paladins and showcased Oathbreakers during the Panel from Hell for Patch 9 that I decided that’s what I would choose for him. Dark Knight is one of the most interesting classes for me in FFXIV, and I really wanted to have something similar for Fjorn; I thought it fitted the idea of ‘‘sometimes you have to do bad in order to do good’’.

So yeah, I take characteristics from other characters that I really love and just combine all of my favorite things together! It’s not really a tip, but something worth mentioning is that the different Wikis out there are extremely useful: Forgotten Realms Wiki, DnD 5th Edition Wikidot, Baldur’s Gate Wiki, DnD Beyond, (wouldn’t recommend Fextralife), etc. I also spent quite some time on reddit just looking up other people’s DnD OC concepts, which did spark some ideas! I wouldn’t worry tooooo much about things not making sense though, the one thing I love about DnD is that you can go absolutely wild and get away with almost anything.

In your case, would probs start reading up about high elves, although I feel like they could come from nearly anywhere. According to different wikis, there are different kinds of high elves in the Forgotten Realms: moon elf, sun elf, star elf, dark elf and llewyrr. There’s most likely way more info about them out there, possibly also more kinds, but this could serve as a base. Click on one and then read about them until one catches your eyes and just go from there since they may have different cultures, different upbringing, different characteristics, etc.

Sorry this is kinda all over the place, but I hope this helps you a bit more!

#em: asks #sry this is a mess and A LOT #idek if this helps at all........

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hua-fei-hua · 1 year

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hey! i stumbled across you on ao3 through genshin (i think? that was in september i have no idea at this point), went to check out your profile and saw my hero academia works there. i am currently very much into it, so i was like let's gooo sooo I found B♭ and that has been a wild journey.

firstly, i don't have any experience with american school system, so a lot of worldbuilding was new for me. moreover, marching band is something from another universe(aka music lover but never got educated on the matter), so fic constantly challenged me with new details-concepts-vocabulary. stepping outside of your comfort zone while reading? great idea! i think i never learned so much from a fic while enjoying it so much ^^

secondly, i am simply amazed by sheer amount of effort you put into it. i decided to read in publishing order, so non-chronological really impressed me. you're honestly a mastermind being able to pull that off. also, having a song for every chapter with specifically picked out lyrics relevant to the content is so, so cool! the diversity of your playlists should be astonishing, i'm jealous :)

thirdly, the characters are just so real. i love all the canon references, i love the reactions that don't feel exagerrated or too mild. they are acting...exactly as i would expect them to in that circumstances and setting. i just accepted leads' ways of thinking and reflecting so naturally

i also read the extra notes when they were available and just...how much thought is put in is mezmerising. for some reason i never thought pulling directly from your life experiences when writing? but it actually makes a lot of sense and it brought me some ideas to try out so hehe ;)

as i am very smart and hadn't scrolled down on the order post, i didn't see until quite late in the reading that the end of perfect harmony is published as notes, so that was a surprise. i understand your reasons and the fact that you're not even in the fandom anymore, but you mentioned in some extra notes that it's ok to ask for them even if years passed so...here i am three years after, complimenting B♭ :D

anyway, i finished it a couple of days ago, and even the notes are quite detailed. images of described shenanigans popped into my head just like that, and i really appreciate that you published them and i got to know what happened next!!

i actually wondered why were the comments disabled since i really wanted to comment on a few chapters bc your work deserves it so much...but yeah, that's what led me here so i guess congrats, you get my thoughts all nicely packed in one place ^_^

there's probably a lot of specific pieces, details, ideas i liked about B♭, so that is merely a summary of exciting things i remember!

i'll say goodbye using my favourite oneshot title:

thank you for the music ✩°｡⋆⸜(ू｡•ω•｡)

not gonna lie i'm kind of obsessed w/the way you just glossed over the fact that you (probably) found me through my (anonymous) genshin fics, which means you jumped through the (minimum three) hoops required to get here, my (named) fandom blog, and then proceed to gush abt a bnha series i did. like i would assume that if someone put in the effort to find my other fandom fics from my genshin stuff, then there must've been smth really worth looking into w/the genshin stuff lmao

for the sake of my mutuals' dashboards, since this ask is so long i'm just gonna chuck the whole (long) answer under a cut lol

anyway yes Bb!! the amt of effort n planning i put into that series was legitimately insane. i made school schedules for EVERY SINGLE BNHA CHARACTER and PUT IT ON A SPREADSHEET so that i could PLAN WHO COULD WALK WITH WHOM TO THEIR NEXT CLASSES n have PLOT-RELEVANT CONVERSATIONS LIKE THAT. i made little profiles for each of the characters, where i chose their favorite musical key (and why), how many years/instruments they play, and gave them each a funny little quote/catchphrase!!!

what possessed me to do this for ~20 different characters i honestly could not tell you

i definitely loved working on Bb a lot. i remember sitting down three years ago, practically to the day by this point, n hashing out the events of every single chapter to the epilogue, then reorganizing them into a proper timeline (i also kept a calendar in my notes with the chapters in order), all while occasionally looking out my bedroom window n thinking how wonderfully bright n warm n sunny the world was becoming again. bc really, 2019 was a very struggle year for me, n i didn't take the time to appreciate the sunlight then the way i have every year since. from there, i worked off that very strict outline, and most of the note-chapters that were eventually put up are primarily just copy-pasted straight from there.

i remember being on youtube a lot for music recs when working on perfect harmony too!! a bunch of them changed in the years btwn walking away from the series n actually publishing the notes (which were actually published mid-december last year, then backdated to 2020 a few days later ahaha), with a number of the tour arc alternate chapter title songs coming from songs that didn't even exist at the time of the fic's original planning. my mp3 collection grew a lot during the planning phases of Bb lmao.

i'm glad the characters felt so real!!! while no one character was based entirely off one single person i knew irl, one could say that writing Bb was a bit of a love letter to my time in high school band in some places, both the events i partook in n the people i knew there. it was a very "write what you know" type of fic.

anyway haha yeah the end of my bnha days were not fun, but i still loved Bb enough to hold onto the idea of returning to it Soon(tm) that i put off publishing the chapter notes for almost two years. even then, that was a difficult decision for me to make bc a part of me wasn't ready to close that chapter of my life. i think ultimately it was the best decision to make though, since the fics are p heavily tied up in a much sadder part of my life that i'd just rather not return to.

the main reason comments were turned off of Bb (and indeed, the majority of my bnha fics) is most simply described as "resentment". it's different from how i feel abt my old snk fics (where i turned comments off of them so that i could pretend no one's really reading them anymore), which is more impersonal "oh my god i was so young back then and i give fewer than negative shits abt any mistakes i might've made on them or what anyone thinks of them" bc in bnha it's kind of hard to avoid the fact that i had a Name in the circles i typically traversed for a while. it wasn't that big of a name, but it's certainly more than nothing.

it's not really a feeling i like to dwell on, so i just archive-locked the responsible works n turned off comments for the most heinous culprits (mostly sparklers, but even tho i love Bb as a story, i do not love Bb as a publishing experience, if that makes sense), and for the most part, that keeps the resentment contained.

still, i'm genuinely happy that you enjoyed the au so much!!! i honestly love love love how goddamn SPECIFIC the premises are for this fic. the world was truly built with love, and the music puns for every title were always such a joy to come up with c':

thank you for the ask!!!! :D

#asks #kid-of-yesterday #long post #if you really did come here from my genshin fics last SEPTEMBER then boy howdy do i know Exactly which fic you came from #(if it was in september then it Must have been the saucy xv fic abt the sharp teeth bc pure identity didn't come out til oct)#i have a lot of Feelings abt my time in the bnha fandom that i just don't rlly like to talk abt publicly tbh #mostly bc (most of those Feelings are 'resentment' lmao) i try actively to not be a bitter person anymore #but also i hate admitting that people Knew me bc it feels like vanity or bragging #(bc if my name had ever been ''worth anything'' then why did Bb not garner the attention i'd hoped?)#i know that those thoughts aren't true n all but they're overall very complicated feelings #regarding how fandom at large treats fan creations and creators that ultimately led to my current decision to publish anonymously #ofc my feelings towards fandom n the fan-fan creator relationship have shifted w/time again n i do often consider just de-anoning #but it's... Tricky.... to say the least #haha sorry for unloading a little gloomily onto your lovely ask but i also think you deserve my honest thoughts #and not a saccharine falsehood / partial truth (oh hey that's the main thesis of rhythm lol)#ALSO to have an izch fic as your fave is exemplary taste when combined w/krbk #i am handing you a plaque that says 'certified good taste in ships'

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longeyelashedtragedy · 2 years

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šejan & uhhhh serard & old gay 1/2 lolol

OH BOY WELL

šejan is one of the most ships ever and also somehow reminds me of xhakarteta in some weird visceral way that i can't totally articulate yet. šejan is just so good and it breaks my heart that they don't do lajvs anymore? š and deki are so different yet when they're together they are in sync, vibing, finishing each other's šentences and laughing unstoppably in a way that must feel so unreal for them. seeing such pure HAPPINESS and comfort is truly wild. i feel like a lot of adults stop feeling that way. i love how their looks are so different, and š is mysterious while dej is such an open, messy book, and yet š seems to be the one with the confidence i would say, while dej reminds me of myself with such a weird mix of self-assuredness and being lost and always seeking someone, something. oops getting into mare liberum territory Anyway šejan is and will always be one of the best! people wish their ships were this ship!

omg serard! ok well FIRST of all this is unrelated to serard itself but i'm pist at sergio bc i was just finally seeing why he was hot bc he'd grown his hair long, and he just cut it. JAIL. ANYWAY, uh, i mean serard is just SO much fun, god, it never has to get to dramatic and weepy (at least not if you're me anyway), and it's just two macho sports bro assholes bantering yet somehow also having feelings they'd never fully be able to admit or act on. that 'enemies and lovers at once' trope is just so fucking good. Also, PK is my favorite football POV so there's that. now, the concept of trashy sergio being really offended by PK and taking shakira's side is fun to explore as well. (i also feel like there are aspects of their relationship that would be very interesting to write more about--them representing two very different parts of the country, and all that this means--but we don't want to get into "J squared visits the cambodian killing fields" vibes on ao3 lol). idk serard is a blast to write. i do hope i can continue to write it, especially since big fuckup cheater PK is somehow even more fun to write about than regular PK.

old gay 1/2: uh my heart breaks for them that now they live on totally different CONTINENTS!!!!!! (i forget if i told you, suarez signed for a team back home in uruguay) always will be my fav messi ship in my heart sorry guys. they were just so fucking old and gay and bitchy and cliquey at barça and it was so satisfying.

#actually you know who gives weird less manly sejan vibes: mikel and tim cahill #it's the nonstop giggling for me #perfectpiety #answered

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jscysbl · 7 years

Text

23 Things You Should Know Before Dating Me

The mere concept of doing so is unheard of. Some people may point out that I did indeed have a significant other once, but we never actually went on dates.

I’m not very good at the whole intimacy thing. Don’t get me wrong, interlacing fingers with the right person is like finding a home in a pair of hands and hugs from behind are the best kind of surprise, but being awkward is the only trophy I’ve ever earned that my name is rightfully engraved on.

I hate when people say “fetch” when they aren’t referring to a dog, getting a pail of water, or making a Mean Girls reference.

My hair is a chameleon that changes color with my swings of mood, so don’t ever get used to it looking a certain way, especially since…

All the bleach and dye may one day catch up with me and I’ll lie in my grave as a bald, unattractive woman.

Even with hair on my head I am an unattractive woman.

I actually want to be cremated and not buried, that way no one can look at my cake face corpse lying inside the coffin and think man, what an unattractive woman.

That overly extended, not-at-all joke isn’t the main reason; I just seem to prefer some of the alternative options, like spreading my ashes in a field of sunflowers or being made into a tree.

My thoughts are like a spontaneous tourist, flying at several miles an hour from place to place without a speck of correlation.

I can be the most annoying grammar nazi sometimes, even when my own grammar is at war with itself.

I keep a folder full of random uncommon words on my external hard drive just because I’m so fascinated with the obscurities of the English language.

I keep a jar on my bedside table full of colorful stars folded up out of thin strips of paper. On the inside of many are wishes expressed in black ink scrawl. I don’t know why I bother to continue such a tradition, when not one has bothered to come true.

I used to wish to become a singer. My singing career ended with the sound of two buzzers and the abrupt stop of an instrumental track at a local talent show.

Sometimes I hang my bath towels on my microphone stand.

Sometimes I want to hang myself because I cannot stand being me.

I haven’t graduated college yet, but I’ve got a PhD in making people disappear.

I know I’m fucked up, but even so I’m hoping someone will find beauty in myself that I cannot see.

I know it’s illogical to search for beauty in myself.

I also know it’s illogical to wish that someone will love you when you can’t even love yourself, but I do anyway, because even when I don’t believe in love at first sight, I do believe in miracles.

I do not lack in self-confidence because I want pity in the form in shining compliments, nor because I want some kind of melancholic “cool kid” image.

I lack in self-confidence because I genuinely do not like who I am. I look in the mirror and see eyes that have seen wasted time. I see bones that jut out of a body like a foot in the door; an invasion unwelcome; an invitation for fear to waltz on inside. I see a flicker that could have been a flame; if boredom and laziness were used as firewood; if more was put into wild, burning passion. I see a draft that the artist has forgotten he had ever worked on. I see a work-in-progress that will never see any more progress; one that will remain untouched and unfinished and left behind while greater pieces see the spotlight.

I do not want my lover to feel like they have to remedy the scratches of a broken record. That’s technology no one should have to hear of or care for anymore. Our love should feel like a steady stream, no buffering or ads in-between. Our memories should be like a playlist of our favorite melodies, the very ones you want to rewind over and over and over without the disc getting stuck in the machine. So…

I am not looking to date anyone right now. Not until I know—with 100% of this crippled spirit—that I don’t want to pause this song named heartbeat.

#poetry #prose poetry #spilled ink

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bangtanloverboys · 3 years

Text

found again // jhs

summary - forever was a very long time to be alone, but it was the safeest way to save yourself the heartache of losing loved ones. despite that, you still find yourself falling in love with hoseok

pairing - hunter!hoseok x immortal female!reader

genre - fluff, angst; reincarnation au

word count - 5.0k

warnings - strangers to lovers, hisorical inaccuracies, reader is centuries old, takes place in late 1700s, “i can fix that”, falling in love, kissing, proposal, mentioning of harming self, major character death, dogs die, im sorry everything i write of hoseok is sad but happy ending!!

author’s note - another fic inspired by ABC Forever, because i love the concept and i miss it

After nearing three centuries of life, one would think they’d get used to being alone. To the quiet still air of an empty home, void of a family. But it never did, you could never get used to it. It wasn’t that you purposefully chose to live a life of solitude, but rather found it the best way to live. If you were alone, you couldn’t get hurt. With no roots, it made moving from place to place easier. The only thing that got you through it all was thinking back on your family.

They were long gone by now, but that didn’t change the fact you still thought of them often. More than once, you would dream of what they would have thought with each place. How your mother would move every bit of furniture until it looked just right, how your father would go on about how far it was from the village, or how your little sisters would run about the cabin entirely, claiming it was perfect.

Several times you would get so caught up in your daydreams, you would even call out to them, only for your voice to die out before their names could even fully fall past your lips. Each time you’d wince at your own foolishness, before sighing, returning to the task you were doing.

That was simply how you lived until the day that Hoseok arrived.

You were deep into the woods, picking wild berries when a rustling was heard from across the clearing you were in. Cautiously, you made your way over to the rustling bushes. Right as you were about to peek behind them, a young man popped out from behind them. You let out a scream as you stumbled back, tripping over your skirt and sending you tumbling into the dirt.

“Oh my- I’m so sorry!” The young man spoke as he rushed over to you, helping you back to your feet.

“What were you doing? Were you watching me?!” You exclaimed, pushing him away from you as soon as you stood up.

“No! I promise. I was hunting when my dogs stopped.” It was then you were suddenly aware of the two dog heads that poked out from the branches. “I thought they caught a scent of maybe a deer but uh, seems like they found you,” he chuckled nervously, before his eyebrows shot up. “Where are my manners, I’m Hoseok,” he said, holding his hand out for you.

You stared at it for a moment, before you gave him your name, placing your hand in his. Your hand in his grip, he raised your knuckles to his lips for a kiss.

“Pleasure to meet you.” You swore your face grew hot at those words. It had been years since any man had shown you any sort of affection, even if it was the smallest bit. “What are you doing out here?”

“I- uh, berries.” You gestured to your basket that you left across the clearing. “Collecting some for a pie.” You’re unsure why you felt nervous all of a sudden, but with Hoseok’s gaze on your, it made it difficult to not feel shy.

“Berry pie? Oh that sounds delicious.”

Before you could even comprehend what you were thinking, you found yourself asking, “Would you like some?”

“Pardon?” He furrowed his brows at you.

“I mean,” you cringed at yourself before you started over, “would you like to come over? It should only take a few hours?”

A smile lit up his face, and you swear you don’t think you’ve ever seen a more beautiful smile. “I would love that.” The both of you walked across the field, picking up your basket as you reentered the forest, heading into the direction of your cottage. Glancing behind you, you saw the two bloodhounds following close on his heels. No doubt noticing how you kept glancing behind him, he introduced them. “Their names are Mickey and Ann.”

“They’re beautiful,” you complimented.

The rest of the journey back to your cottage was in silence, but it was not uncomfortable. Reaching your small little property, you felt uneasiness wash over you as you motioned to your small cottage. It was already several years old by the time you moved into it, windows didn’t shut right and it took a couple nudges to fully close the door; but it was home. If Hoseok thought any less of it, he didn’t say anything, besides ordering the two dogs to stay put at the front door.

Once inside, you began to prepare the pie crust. On occasion, you’d glance up at Hoseok who was staring at the small things you had collected over your life, mainly assorted coins from each country you visited and a few books. Picking one of them up, he began to flip through it.

“Do you actually understand this?” He asked, gesturing to the words on the page.

“Italian? Yes.” No doubt it was probably one of the first languages you learned when you discovered your affliction. Over the past few centuries, you found out you had quite the knack for picking up languages.

“You must’ve had some fancy schooling,” he whistled as he set the book down.

“Not really,” you flushed as you kneaded the dough. “Just knew someone who taught it to me.”

“Family?” He asked.

You shook your head no. A small Italian artist took you under her wing for a handful of years, deeming you her muse. In return for being the source of her inspiration, she taught you her language.

“Where is your family?”

The question had you cease your kneading. You should have known the question would’ve been asked at some point or another. Not to mention, you were somewhat of an enigma to the nearby village. A young well read woman from far away living in a small abandoned cottage, what could you possibly be doing all the way out here? No one ever said anything to you about it, but you knew they certainly thought something of it, judging by the stares you received when you’d walk into town. If he’d ever been, there was a strong possibility he knew of you already.

“Gone,” you answered, resuming your kneading. “Just me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry about that.” His voice was soft as he apologized, like he regretted asking.

“Not your fault, they’ve been gone for a while.” A long while.

The comfortable silence was gone, replaced with an air of tension. Like a string held so taught that the smallest movement would cause it to snap. The topic of your family always stung, no matter how much time had passed.

Quite possibly wanting to ease the awkward atmosphere he created, Hoseok quietly made his way over to you in your small kitchen. Standing beside you, he smiled.

“What can I do to help?”

Pushing down the butterflies that had erupted in your stomach, you stepped to the side and handed him the basket of wildberries you collected. “Make the filling?”

The rest of the afternoon consisted of both of you struggling to make the pie. Hoseok apparently wasn’t all that good with following directions as whenever you turned your back to do something, he would try and sneak a nibble at the filling. On occasion, he’d inquire about your knowledge of languages; curious to learn different phrases. It was only when you put the pie in the oven did Hoseok finally cease his linguistic questions. Sitting on a stool, you allowed yourself to catch your breath as you watched the young hunter, who’s gaze was fixated on your roof.

You were well aware of the shape your cottage was in, due to its old age it was in constant need of repairs. The most important one being the leaks in the roof, thankfully it was the dry season so you didn’t have to go about fixing them just yet, but you knew you’d have to get to it eventually.

“I can fix that.” He gestured up to the roof.

“Can you really?” You raised a brow at him.

“Consider it my way of repaying you for the pie.”

And that was the beginning of your friendship with Hoseok. He’d stop by every other day, tools in hand and work on sealing up your roof. A few times, he’d even bring in a few of his kills, offering it to you to make some dinner. Each time you refused, but he always insisted.

“A lady needs her food.”

A little over a week had passed and Hoseok finished the roof. It was then you realized how badly you hated being alone. You’d missed having someone to talk to, to cook for. Having grown so used to his presence in that week, you pointed to the old busted chicken coop that resided on your property. It had been empty since you’d moved in and you thought having fresh eggs from a nice chicken coop would be nice. Without hesitating, he agreed to fix the coop. And your front door, and your windows, and your fence. Each time he completed something, you found something new for him to fix.

While he worked on repairs, you’d either read or cook up dinner, not only for you and him, but for his dogs as well. Mickey and Ann were complete sweethearts, waiting patiently by the front door for their owner to come in and join you all for food. When he was working on your windows, more than once you saw him peeking through as you sat at your kitchen table reading as Mickey laid his head on your lap.

Eventually, the cottage was practically brand new. There was nothing else to be fixed and you had to prepare yourself to say goodbye to Hoseok. Your heart ached as he walked away from your home for the last time, his dogs trailing behind him. The following morning, you resumed your usual chores and activities; tending to your (new) chickens, work in your garden, and reread your books.

You’d been fighting off tears all day, and it was as you were preparing supper that the tears began to fall. Perhaps it was foolish of you to get attached to him anyways. No matter what would have happened, it would’ve turned out the way it usually did: with you disappearing.

A knock on your door, pulled you from your thoughts. For a moment you were confused, no one ever from the village ever came up to visit, you wondered what could’ve happened. Quickly, you wiped the tears from your eyes and made your way over to the door, where the unknown visitor knocked away.

“Coming, I’m coming!” You called as you swung the door open, revealing- “Hoseok?”

The young man was at your door, a handful of freshly killed quails in hand, and both hounds standing behind him, panting happily. “What, I’m not late am I?”

“No, no,” you shook your head, “that’s not it at all. I just- I wasn’t expecting you?”

“Why wouldn’t you be expecting me? I thought we had a nice little arrangement going on?” He questioned.

“We did, but I have nothing else for you to fix so I assumed-”

“Y/N,” he cut you off. Cupping your cheek, you had no choice but to look up into his sweet, adoring face. “I thought it was pretty obvious you wanted me around for some other reason besides being your handyman.”

Feeling your face grow hot, you slowly nodded.

He chuckled at you softly, his eyes never leaving yours. “So is it alright, I come over for supper?”

“Of course,” you breathed out. You don’t think you’ve ever felt so happy in so long.

So the two of you fell into a routine of sorts, he would stop by some meat for you to cook for your supper. Over the meal, you’d catch up on your day to day activities. By the time the food was gone, and you were with full bellies, Hoseok would excuse himself.

“Goodnight, I’ll see you in the morning,” was what he would say as he left your cottage for his own home, somewhere in town. A few times you’d stayed up so late that it was well past midnight, so you offered him your place for the night. Purely because you didn’t want him out so late, but each time he refused; saying it wouldn’t be right.

Slowly, your dinner meetings would begin happening in the day time. The last few days of summer were upon you and you wanted to spend it with Hoseok, having a picnic with him.

You dragged him up a tall grassy hill, basket full of bread, cheese, and jam. He laughed as he allowed you to pull him up towards the top, Mickey and Ann trailing behind at his heels, barking happily. Hoseok allowed the dogs to wander around the area, occasionally calling them back if they went too far.

All set up, you both sat down and enjoyed your lunch. It wasn’t long after you finished that you scooted closer to him, and closer until your hands were almost touching. You were about to slip your hand underneath his when Hoseok’s hand moved, taking your’s and placing it in his. His hands were rough to the touch, small calluses riddled his palms. A smile playing on your lips, you rested your head on his shoulder.

Neither of you moved for hours as you watched the day go by from that little spot on the hill, relishing in the late summer sun. Out of all the years you lived, you had to think that that moment there was the most peaceful. There was no need to run, no overwhelming sense of loss, just you and Hoseok.

“What was your family like?” He questioned.

Taking a deep breath, you began talking about your late family. “My father was a miller, he’d often take me on his runs to deliver flour, giving me a little sack to carry as well,” you smiled fondly at the memory, the villagers chuckling at you as you teetered behind him. “When I was even younger, I used to lay down by the fire and watch my mother sew. . . scolding me for growing up so fast.”

“Did you have any siblings?”

“I had two younger sisters, parents weren’t able to have anymore after the youngest,” you sighed, remembering how hard your parents tried. “They adored flowers, wanting to cover the cottage we lived in with honeysuckle and wild flowers.” Your vision started to get blurry as tears welled up in your eyes.

“They sound wonderful,” Hoseok murmured.

“Yeah, they were. . .” You sighed, blinking back the tears.

“Hey,” he pulled his shoulder away to look at you. “You’re okay, it’s okay.” Hoseok’s hand moved to cup your cheek, brushing the stray hairs from your face. “Your parents are looking down on you, so proud of the woman you are today.”

Meeting Hoseok’s eyes, you’re overwhelmed with the love and adoration pouring from his gaze. Never in your three hundred years had a person ever looked at you that way. As much as you wanted to give into his love, you were scared of the inevitable. One day Hoseok would begin to age and he would notice you still look the same as the day you met. He would grow old before your eyes, leaving you no choice but to leave him broken hearted. To love him would be selfish of you.

The sound of his voice calling your name pulled you from your spiral. You watched as his eyes flickered down to your lips for a moment, before he slowly leaned in. For the first time ever time felt like it stood still. There was no inevitable ticking clock, no fear or thoughts of the future. Just you and Hoseok, on that grassy hill on a late August day.

You should’ve known better than to have let him kiss you, as you knew as soon as you felt his lips on yours, there was no way you’d be able to let him go. Being alone for so many years, perhaps this time you could allow yourself to be selfish. One day you’d tell him about your curse, but until that day came, you were going to let yourself be with him.

As the seasons changed, your relationship with Hoseok only grew stronger. He’d visit you daily, bringing gifts of flowers, baked goods, and other assorted courting gifts. The two of you would spend all day together, reading or he’d help you take care of your chickens. Each night, he would leave, despite your insistence on him spending the night.

“I’m courting you, let me do this right,” he whispered once as he kissed you goodnight.

While you appreciated the sweet sentiment, he should’ve known your relationship was anything but orthodox. If your mother was still around, she surely would’ve been scandalized to hear you kissed him before you even married him. In fact the more you thought about it, the more horrified your mother would be at what you’ve done before marriage. But despite everything you may have done in the past, everything with Hoseok felt like a first.

Whenever Hoseok was with you, never did it feel like time was passing. Like it was only the two of you in your own little bubble of the world, frozen in time. Thoughts of your curse were far from your mind, but each time he left for the night, you knew you had to tell him eventually.

As the days grew colder, that ache you felt in your heart only became more apparent. Soon, you’d think to yourself, I’ll tell him soon. But it couldn’t come soon enough.

Snow soon covered the land, leaving you and Hoseok nothing much but to huddle yourselves inside your cottage. Both of you were huddled in front of your fireplace, desperate to keep warm. Hoseok’s dogs were curled up beside you as well, Mickey’s head resting on your lap as you lazily stroked his fur with one hand. You were rereading one of your novels, simply enjoying the warmth of the fire when you could feel Hoseok’s eyes on you. It wasn’t uncommon that he would stare at you as you did any sort of task, but there was something different about him. Behind his eyes, there was a particularly soft warm glow, making your body feel a thousand times more warmed than the heat of the fire in front of you.

“What are you staring at me like that for?” You finally asked, setting your book down.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”

Within an instant you felt your cheeks warmed by his words. “Yes,” you responded shyly, avoiding meeting his eyes.

Scooting closer to you, he took the book out of your hand, placing it off to the side. Both hands now free, he took them in his as he said your name. “I don’t know how else to say this but, I love you. I don’t know exactly when I fell for you, but I don’t think I ever want to stop.” Removing one hand from yours, he reached into his pocket, pulling out a delicate copper band.

A gasp escaped your lips as he held out the ring for you.

“It would give me the greatest pleasure, if you were to be my wife.”

“Yes,” you whispered. “Yes, yes!” You repeated as he slipped the ring onto your finger. Not even looking at it, you threw your arms over his shoulders. Unprepared for your sudden movement, you both went tumbling to the floor, the dogs whined as they rushed to move away from your colliding bodies. You pressed your mouth to his, smiling into it as he returned your kiss.

Until that moment, all your kisses had been brief. Fleeting kisses of hellos and goodbyes, never lasting more than a second. This kiss was different. His hands held your gently at your hips, keeping you in place on top of him. A fire ignited deep in you as you kissed him, you didn’t want to let him go now, not tonight. Keenly, you began peppering Hoseok’s entire face with kisses. His grip on you tightened as your lips traveled lower along the side of his jaw, nibbling at his neck.

“Wait,” his words came out in a groan. Calling your name, you only responded by moving back up to his lips, wanting to kiss him again. “No, not yet.”

“Hoseok, please,” you whined, breathless from the kiss.

“I know, I know, my love,” he panted as his hand came up to cup your face. “It’s getting late,” he sighed, noticing how dark the sky was outside once you were both sitting up again.

“You could stay the night,” you offered once again. Before he could protest, you continued. “Besides, we’re engaged now. What difference would it make?”

Hoseok rolled your eyes at the logic. “The difference is I would like my first time with you, to be with you as my wife.”

“You’re such a romantic,” you huffed as he stood up, gathering his things for him to leave.

Once all his things were together, he lowered his head down, kissing you one last time. “Goodnight, my love. I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, Hoseok and his dogs left just like they would any other night.

You stared at the door, waiting for the faint crunches of his footsteps in the snow to disappear. Now alone, you knew you had to tell him. Hopefully his love for you would trump any doubts he would have. While you could try to hurt yourself as proof, you doubt he’d want to see you harmed. Death was a jarring thing, no matter if you were to come back or not. Regardless of the outcome, you knew you’d tell him tomorrow.

The following day, you got up like you would any other. You got yourself dressed, and began your daily activities. Everything was the way it normally was, but something felt off. You couldn’t place what was, but you knew deep down that something wasn’t right.

Covering yourself with a thick shawl, you made your way over towards your chicken coop. Picking out the eggs from your hens, ready to make something for breakfast. Once you had enough, you made your way back over to your house. It was then you heard barking.

Turning your head, you saw the familiar faces of Mickey and Ann, but there was no Hoseok. Setting the basket down, you lowered yourself to the ground, ready to greet the hounds.

“Hey, hey,” you cooed as you pet the dogs, both of them clearly very distressed. “What’s going on? Where’s Hoseok?” As the mention of his name, Mickey barked at you while Ann whined, pulling at your skirts.

“Excuse me, miss.” A new voice called from across the way. Looking up, recognizing the face as the innkeeper. You’d seen him a few times in town and Hoseok spoke of him often, as he had been renting one of his rooms the past few months. “You knew Hoseok, correct?”

“He’s my fianceé,” you responded cautiously as you straightened up. You hugged your shawl tighter around you as the innkeeper’s eyes saddened at your words. “Why? What happened?”

“I’m very sorry for your loss, miss.”

“What?” That moment, you could’ve sworn your heart stopped. Deep down, you wish it did. No, Hoseok couldn’t be gone. It couldn’t be. You wanted to accuse the innkeeper of lying, or perhaps he mistook someone for Hoseok. But the look in his eyes was clear: Hoseok was dead.

A ringing started in your ears as you stumbled back into your cabin, the dogs following after you. Barely able to hear any other word the innkeeper might’ve said, but it didn’t matter anyways. Hoseok was gone. There couldn’t be anything else to be said.

Alone once again in your home, you collapsed onto the ground. Opening your mouth, a deafening wail passed your lips. You had died a number of times by now; you’d been poisoned, stabbed, hung, shot, drowned. You’ve felt almost every measure of pain there was, but nothing compared to the pain you felt when you’d lost your beloved Hoseok.

You became a ghost of yourself after that day. Simply going through the motions of each day. Your only company was Mickey and Ann, who too missed their late owner. They were your only comfort, knowing that taking care of them was something Hoseok would’ve wanted you to do. Every night, they slept on your bed, curled up beside you as you lazily pet their aging bodies.

Ann was the first to die. 10 years have passed since you lost Hoseok. You’d moved out of that cottage a few years prior, knowing it was only a matter of time before the village had caught on to your affliction. The move was particularly hard on the two hounds, not wanting to move far from the only town they’d ever known. But you had no choice. It became very apparent that Ann wished to return, always sleeping by the door, hoping you’d change your mind. That’s how you found her one spring morning, lying quietly by the door, having passed in her sleep.

You buried her in your garden, under a bed of roses.

Having lost both his sister and Hoseok, Mickey followed soon after. He rarely left your bed, only getting up to eat or to go outside. It was only three months later did you bury him beside Ann.

The only reminder you had left of Hoseok was the ring on your finger. You rarely took it off your finger, fearing that one day you might forget it or Hoseok. Often you’d find yourself staring at the copper band. It was simple, bearing no special engravings or jewels, but it became your most prized possession.

Unfortunately, time didn’t stay still for you to wallow in your misery. You had to keep moving forward. But as time moved on, so did the world around you. It was strange how fast technology advanced, but as helpful as it was to the people around you, it became your worst nightmare. It became harder and harder to disappear, small towns and far away cabins no longer felt like the safe haven they once were. Which was how you found yourself deep in the city.

It was strange how easy it was to disappear, to simply become another face in the crowd. No one spared you a second glance, no matter how many times you may have seen them over the years, no one recognized you and your lack of aging. As long as you kept to yourself, you managed to stay hidden in plain sight.

Off the corner of 3rd street, you had your own little hole in the wall bookstore. You purchased the store from a sweet old couple a few years back, it was a quaint little bookshop, already having its own group of loyal customers. On occasion, you would get a few new faces, but it was usually the same ones everyday.

Until today when you saw a face you hadn’t seen in almost 300 years.

Per your usual morning routine, you were taking inventory of the store when you heard the bell over the front door ring. “I’ll be with you in just a moment!” You called out, trying to finish the last few rows of books. Finished, you made your way back towards the front of the store, dusting your hands off. “Well, is there anything I can help you with-” You stopped dead in your tracks as you saw the man you had entered your store. His eyes were cast downwards and he looked over the titles of the front shelves. Hearing your arrival, familiar dark eyes faced you.

“I’m just browsing,” he said, lips curling into a smile you swore you almost forgot.

In front of you, was Hoseok. It was, had to be. He looked every bit the same as that cold winter night when you last saw him. Your mouth opened and closed several times, before you finally gained your senses.

“Well, just, let me know if there’s anything specific you had in mind,” you responded, smiling as you spun around on your heel, wanting to make a break for your back office.

“Actually, there might be something.”

Swallowing thickly, you turned back to face him. “Oh?”

“I’m thinking of getting into cooking, do you have any cookbook recommendations?” He asked.

“Y-yeah, follow me.” Quickly, you walked over towards your cookbook section, feeling his eyes on you as you walked him over to the shelves. Dragging your fingers over the spines, you pulled out the one you were looking for. It was an older copy, you recognized from the late 80s. Inside were recipes of different types of baked goods and other dishes. “This one, I think I’ve made just about everything in it twice,” you said, pulling it off the shelf and handing it to him.

As the man flipped through the pages, you found yourself fiddling with the ring that now hung around your neck. Long ago, you strung a chain through it, nearly losing it down the drain. You stared at him in front of you, still not able to wrap your head around it. After nearly six hundred years, you don’t think you’ve ever seen the same face twice. Maybe this was your second chance with him, to start over again. But at the same time, you knew it would be foolish. The man in front of you was a complete stranger, not Hoseok. For all you know, he could be completely different than your long lost fianceé.

Shutting the book, he nodded. “This is perfect.”

Shaking you from your thoughts, you nodded. “Great. I’ll ring you up over here.” Walking back towards the cash register, you both fell into a silence as you rang him up. “Alright, here you go,” you smiled, handing him the book.

“Thank you so much.” Cookbook and receipt in hand, he made his way towards the front door. He couldn’t go just yet, there was something you needed to know.

“Wait!” You called out right as he placed his hand on the door. “If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your name?”

That brilliant smile played on his lips again as he responded. “Jung Hoseok.”

#btsghostie #jung hoseok x reader #hoseok x reader #hoseok fluff #bts x reader #bts fluff #hoseok fanfic #hoseok angst #bts angst

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nejibaby · 3 years

Text

Afterglow

Pairing: Portgas D. Ace x Y/N

Summary: Without Ace, your nights are back to being long, dark, and empty. But when you finally reunite, Ace refuses to just be your Daylight.

Daylight - Part 1 | Afterglow - Part 2

Word Count: 4.3k (my hands slipped, I’m so sorry)

Loosely based on: Taylor Swift’s Lover album (but mostly about the songs Daylight and Afterglow)

A/N: I really think Whitebeard is a great father, yk? So I see him as someone who you can always seek and rely on. He looks tough (and he’s actually tough), but he’s soft too! And Ace too, in that respect is similar to WB. I really believe he’ll be such a good boyfriend 🥺 Anyway, I really enjoyed writing this so much! Thank you to everyone who read this, I love yall 🥰

Sailing by yourself in a boat for one reminds you how vast the sea actually is. With the rowdy Whitebeard pirates, sometimes the sea, no, the world, seems a lot smaller, a lot more manageable, but alone, it feels so massive it’s almost frightening.

It’s easy to get lost, except there’s no such concept like that for someone like you who doesn’t have a destination to go to in mind. Quite simply, you’re wandering, but not lost.

You drift from one island to another. Your initial intention is to get as far away as possible from the crew. Now that that’s achieved, you’re unsure of what to do next.

You allow yourself to observe and to experience some sort of normalcy at the islands you dock at. It’s a good thing that you don’t really stand out so no one suspects you’re a wanted pirate.

Walking down the streets of random towns, you’re reminded of how lonely being a Celestial Dragon was. No one wants to interact with a World Noble, afraid of the consequences if they’re angered. Things changed drastically when you became a pirate though. People don’t shy away that much with pirates in certain places. They interact with you, albeit hesitantly sometimes. Nevertheless, you felt so free and happy.

Now, you’re still a pirate, as marked by Whitebeard’s infamous tattoo. But with the unsuspecting townspeople and the lack of the presence of a crew, you don’t feel like one. Somehow it makes you feel empty.

The void is immeasurable. Despite it being unbounded, you’re sure that a single person can fill that emptiness: Portgas D. Ace.

But there are oceans separating you from Ace— a distance that you put. With the space between you, there’s silence in your voyage, however, it’s quite mystifying how every island you reach seems to scream his name.

There’s an island where you’ve docked at that’s snowing all year long. It brought back memories of when you were fairly new to the Whitebeard Pirates and had landed on a similar island. Back then you’ve worn a coat as you disembarked Moby Dick, however, the cold continued to seep through your layers of clothing. You couldn’t handle extreme temperatures that well but you didn’t want to make a big deal out of it so you continued to walk alongside the crew to scout the area. The thing was you may have been terrible at hiding it because Ace noticed the way your body was shivering and your teeth chattering. You were only acquaintances back then but he went to your side and striked a conversation with you. You didn’t understand why you became comfortable when he approached you all of a sudden, but then later that night you realized that he used his devil fruit abilities to warm you up.

At one island with a bustling town, there’s this restaurant that serves a variety of meat. You’re reminded of Ace and his bottomless pit of a stomach, and of his narcoleptic episodes while eating. He has a tendency of eating and then running, and the first few times he did it with you had you reeling. When you’ve finally realized that he’s never going to change, you start to keep a pouch of gold coins with you, reserved for paying for the food he eats. You leave it on the table just as Ace pulls you to run, and he has no idea about it. Owners or servers at the restaurants would still follow you out, but not to berate the both of you for not paying but to return the extra gold coins because you pay too much. Like usual though, Ace pretends not to hear them and they never got to catch up with you and Ace.

On another island, there’s a huge wild boar thrice the size of a human. It reminded you of the time you got so excited to explore an island that you speedily ran towards the forest alone, only to be met by a wild boar. The size of the boar stunned you and its glare kept you frozen in fear. A loud scream escaped your lips when it lunged at you, except the impact never came. When you’ve gathered your bearings, the wild boar was dead and… cooked, courtesy of Ace’s devil fruit abilities. He saved you, but he played it off as if he had his eyes on the wild boar since the beginning “to hunt it down.”

The current island you’re at is in famine. As soon as you docked at their port, a group of men has drawn their swords at you. For a moment, you thought they were bounty hunters so you grabbed your daggers and took a defensive stance. However, from the way they keep looking back and forth to you and your boat, and from hearing the faint sound of their stomach grumbling, you can tell they aren’t. Behind some trees, you can see the heads of some children peeking with worried yet hopeful looks on their faces.

Slowly, you raise your hands up in surrender, dropping your daggers in the process. You can’t turn your back on them — figuratively and literally — so you walk backwards towards your boat. The men look at you curiously but they don’t ever lower their swords.

In a quick motion, you grab a bag containing all of your food supply and throw it at them. One of the men catches it. “You can have them. It isn’t much, but that’s all I have.”

The man who was able to catch the bag carefully opens it and sees food. He almost cries at the sight of it. The rest of the men lowers the sword after you offer no sign of aggression. They start calling the other citizens of the area afterwards.

The children are the first to come running towards the men — all of them conveying excitement. You couldn’t tell how long they haven’t eaten but judging from how thin they are, it has got to be quite some time.

A small girl stumbles and falls near you and you quickly come to her aid. There isn’t much damage, just a scraped knee so you carefully patched her up.

“Thank you,” she gives you a toothy smile and then starts heading to the men who are distributing the food.

She comes back a moment later, arms outstretched to hand an apple to you. “For you,” she says.

Something blossoms in your heart because of her sweetness. “Thank you, but it’s fine, you can have it,”

She doesn’t object but then she hugs you tightly. “Thank you so much.”

Surprisingly, even on an island like this, you’re reminded of Ace. You remember his story about coming to Wano and meeting a child named “Tama” who seemed to be as charming as the child you helped and is under the same fortune.

Now that your mind has drifted to thoughts of Ace, you didn’t want to think of anything else. Even as the people gather around you to offer their thanks, and even as they usher you to a bonfire to celebrate for the food to eat, the thoughts of him linger in your head.

And just like in all the previous islands you came to, you wish he’s here with you too.

There’s longing in your heart, but there’s also something else— something pleasant that you can’t quite describe— and you attribute it to the gratitude of the people.

The mother of the child you helped, Sito, offers their spare room for you to take and you graciously accept. Soft snores almost immediately fill your ears after a few minutes of them bidding you good night.

The longer you stay awake, however, the pleasant feeling you felt a while ago starts to leave a bitter taste in your mouth.

You’ve always criticized yourself for not being able to do more when you were still a Celestial Dragon but now that you did something good, you start to feel selfish for doing it because it makes you feel better about yourself.

It’s at times like this that you seek Pops. There’s a sudden urge to hear his voice and his thoughts. So you grab your Den Den Mushi, but you hesitate.

You’ve lost track of the days since you left Moby Dick. And in that time frame, you never once called Pops. Although you didn’t really promise to call, maybe he was expecting you to, especially since you know he wouldn’t do it first.

You sigh. Maybe this call is long overdue after all.

You step outside the house and start to contact Pops using the Den Den Mushi. It only rings once and then it’s answered, almost as if Pops was waiting by the Den Den Mushi. The thought brings a smile to your face. “Pops—”

“Why on earth are you only calling now?!” His angry tone welcomes you.

“I’m so—”

“Is that Y/N?!” Marco interrupts. Ah, how could you have forgotten? It’s at this time that Marco reports to Pops. “We’re so worried about you -yoi!”

You can hear sounds of struggling on the line and then there’s a loud smack followed by an even louder crash. There’s a moment of silence which makes you wonder what’s going on in the ship.

“Why didn’t you call earlier?!” Pops’ voice booms. “If you’re going to leave a Den Den Mushi, I’m going to expect your reports but I received none of that.”

“I’m sorry Pops. I have no excuse,” you sheepishly say.

“Everyone’s worried about you,” he pauses but then his voice rings louder once again, “Some are even outside my room trying to listen in on our conversation. But if they know better, they should leave us alone.” The sound of rushing footsteps could be heard in the background as Pops finishes his sentence.

You chuckle, imagining the crew eavesdropping. “How are you Pops?”

“I’m doing fine.”

“How’s everyone? How’s… uhm… Ace?”

“Everyone’s just missing you. You didn’t say goodbye after all,” he says. “I put Ace on a mission because he won’t stop pestering me about you. He won’t come back in a couple of days.”

“Oh.”

“He misses you a lot,” he sighs. “He strides to me everyday to demand your whereabouts. Each time I wouldn’t tell him but he never learns. Vista says he’s on his 56th attempt the other day.”

The brief image of Ace that your mind comes up with brings a small smile to your face.

“When are you coming back?” Whitebeard breaks your reverie.

“Ah, I’m not sure yet… It might take a while.”

He hums. “So how are you? Have you been eating well?”

“I’m doing fine, Pops. No one’s been coming after me yet so everything’s going well,” you respond. “But… Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“There’s this island with people who haven’t eaten in so long so I gave them everything I have.” There’s a loud growl coming from Pops so you immediately continue your speech before he could scold you for doing such a thing. “I feel really good about what I did as they thanked me. But then the longer I thought about it, I started feeling ashamed because... wasn’t it selfish since I did it to make me feel better about myself? Then I started to wonder if it was wrong to do good things just because I wanted to be absolved of my parents’ sins. Was I wrong in doing this, Pops?”

“No, you did the right thing.”

“Really?”

“Yes, you’re not an inherently bad person for getting paid in gratitude.”

“But…”

“Making yourself happy by making other people happy is how it’s meant to work. If one of your key motives to doing good things is to feel good, then you’re still doing something good and there’s nothing shameful about that.”

Hearing his words puts you at ease. You’re glad you called him. “Thank you, Pops. I’m sorry for worrying everyone there and for disrupting Marco’s report. I promise I’ll call more often from now on.”

“It’s fine. Just don’t forget to take care of yourself too. Where will you be headed next?”

“I’m not sure. I’m just going where the sea leads me.”

“Be careful.”

“You too, Pops,” and with that, you bid your goodbye and hang up.

By morning, you start preparing your things to leave. You didn’t want to stay for too long because you didn’t want to consume even a portion of the small amount of food they have.

Sito offers you to stay another night, worried that it would be uncomfortable to sleep on a boat. “You can stay one more day. There’s still enough food for us to share.”

“Oh no, I don’t want to impose,” you decline. “But do you mind if I ask what happened here?”

There’s sadness in her eyes, it was easy to tell the memory pained her, but she tells you everything anyway. “This island is one of the few lawless areas in the world, hence, it’s a place where pirates would dock at. A group of men once docked here and kidnapped the leaders of our town. They were sold off to be slaves, because apparently the Nobles like to enslave people of power…” Her words start to fade on you upon the mention of the World Nobles.

Anger flares up in your system immediately. How low can the Celestial Dragons go? It’s sickening to think that you share the same blood as them. It’s because of this revelation that something becomes clear in your mind.

Ever since leaving Moby Dick, you’re just wandering aimlessly. But after hearing Sito talk about this island, you’re finally sure of what your destination should be.

Sabaody Archipelago.

Specifically, the Human Auctioning House.

From the sudden fury that overwhelms you, not even the fear of being within arm’s reach of the Marines, and possibly dying, could stop you from going there.

It’s reckless and foolish, but isn’t this the reason you left Moby Dick that night— to face your nightmares instead of running away from them?

You listen politely as Sito explains everything else but her words enter and leave your ears without you having to comprehend them. Fortunately, she doesn’t notice your inattentiveness, probably because she wants to pour her frustrations out to a stranger.

You offer your sympathies to her and promise her you’d come back with your crew and help them some more. It’s a simple promise yet for someone who hasn’t been offered help for so long, it means a lot, enough to even bring tears to her eyes. And just like that, you leave.

There are two more islands to stop at before you reach Sabaody Archipelago. You gather provisions on one island and buy explosives on the other.

The only thing you’re sure you can actually do alone is to blow up the Human Auctioning House. Facing the World Nobles is for another time, unfortunately. As for the Marines, well… You’d worry about that if they indeed come. You know you’d be able to handle them as long as they don’t send an Admiral after you.

The thing that worries you the most, however, is Pops’ reaction once you let him know of your plan. While you can always just not tell him, it feels wrong, and you promised you’d report to him, after all. And it’s hard for you to admit, but you secretly want to be saved in case your plan goes askew. That, and well, you still want to make up with Ace, may it be just strictly as friends, but preferably as lovers.

You decide to call once you’re about to set sail towards Sabaody Archipelago. You’re sitting in the middle of your boat, still anchored at the port when you told Pops your plan. And as expected, he’s mad.

He demands you to go back to the crew immediately. “Captain’s orders,” he says. But after a few moments, he retracts his words and says, “Your father’s orders.” You feel the weight of his words when he said that and you almost concede. But the faces of the slaves your family had flashes into your mind and it solidifies your decision.

Interestingly, despite the weeks you have spent away from the crew, their ship is nearer to you than anticipated. As confirmed by Pops himself when he angrily said, “Enough! I’m sending Ace to get you! Two or three days is enough for him to catch up with you.”

But quite frankly, that’s also enough time to execute your plan. And if the odds are in your favor, then Ace might just come in time for your escape.

Arriving at Sabaody Archipelago, you keep your face hidden underneath the hood of your cloak. It’s normal for pirates to walk around the place without having to hide their identities, but it’s a luxury you can’t afford. If someone catches wind that you’re here and reports it, the Cipher Pol just might come and capture you before you can even execute your plan. That just won’t do. So on the first day of your arrival, you only scout the area of the Human Auctioning House and retreat back to the inn you stay at.

You carry out your plan on the next day. You place a bomb where the side of the stage is supposed to be. It’s a distraction so people inside would leave the premises. The plan is to find the keys and free the slaves while the people are panicking from the explosion. Then eliminate the head of the place, Mr. Disco, and finally blow the place apart. It sounds simple but with you having to do all the work, you know it isn’t.

Now that you’re here, your nerves are spiking up. Arriving at the entrance of the building, you take a deep breath, your hand automatically reaching for the bracelet that Ace made you. It instantly calms you down.

It baffles you how fate works because on the very day you decide to free the slaves that are being sold off at the Human Auctioning House, Ace’s brother, Luffy — along with his crew — is at the same place to rescue their friend who was kidnapped.

Somehow even on a dangerous mission like this, there’s still something or someone who’d remind you of Ace. It makes you wonder: has he really embedded himself too deep into your life that there’s no escaping the thoughts of him? Not that you mind; the thoughts of him bring you peace, after all. But still, it’s fascinating that even in both mundane and dangerous settings, he makes himself known to you.

Upon entering the Human Auctioning House, everything happens so fast and unexpected. And quite frankly, a lot happened that wasn’t part of the plan.

Aside from finding the Straw Hat Pirates, you got yourself injured when you used your body to shield their fish man friend, Hatchi, from Saint Charlos’ gunshot. Then you confronted Saint Shalria personally despite you not planning to get involved with the Celestial Dragons. As for the slaves, it was the Dark King, Silvers Rayleigh, who actually freed them. The only things that you personally executed from your plan were Mr. Disco’s elimination and the bombing of the Human Auctioning House.

Escape is easy once the building starts to explode because the Marines would have to lessen the forces who're chasing after the pirates in order for them to successfully put out the fire. Without any Admiral on the scene yet, it’s not hard to slip away from them and/or fight them.

Even with the gunshot wound on your arm, you’re able to take down each and every one of the Marines who are chasing you. But halfway through your journey back to the grove where you left your boat at, you lose your adrenaline.

You start to feel the sharp and stinging sensation on your arm once again, yet, you couldn’t help but smile. You have gotten out alive. The slaves have been freed. With both Mr. Disco and the building gone, the Human Auctioning House will no longer be operational, or at least not yet until someone steps up. But that won’t be after a long time.

It’s a wonderful day.

You look up at the afterglow of the sunset with a serene smile. You have a feeling your nights are going to feel shorter now and less frightening than they were before.

Your peaceful moment is cut off by someone rather abruptly. You jump in surprise as someone wraps their arms around you from behind all of a sudden. “I finally caught up with you.”

Your breath hitches at the sound of the voice. “Ace? What are you doing here?”

He doesn’t answer your question, but he mumbles, “I’m sorry if I only came now. Pops wouldn’t tell me where you were, but I came as soon as I could.” Then he tightens his hug. “I was so scared, I thought I’d lose you…”

“Ace, I’m sorry about—”

“Hey, it’s on me, okay?” He interrupts. “I blew things out of proportion, and now you’re blue.”

You pull away from his hug to face him.

“Y-your arm! You’re bl-bleeding,” he stutters after seeing your injury.

But you pay no mind to that. “Ace… I’m really sorry about us—”

“Ssshhh, baby…” he rubs his hand on your back.

He looks at your figure carefully, focused on looking for any more bruises or wounds. When he doesn’t find anything more, he gently holds you by your waist. “Don’t blame yourself, I’m the one who burned us down, but… it’s not what I meant.

“It was all in my head, okay? It’s just that the Celestial Dragons are all grouped in my head as scums and that they’re inexcusable because… my brother was killed by a Celestial Dragon.”

A wave of guilt flows through your body, enough to weaken your knees. Before you could fall, however, Ace catches you and brings you to his chest. But this doesn’t stop you from sobbing on his chest. “I didn’t know, Ace. I’m so sorry.”

“No, that’s the thing, baby. It isn’t your fault. It wasn’t you who pulled the trigger. And… I have to admit I failed to see that at first,” he says as he hugs you tighter. “I shouldn’t have stood there frozen after you told me your story. I’m supposed to be the one who understands you...

“I’m not trying to make excuses and I’m not trying to make this about me but it’s just that… for so long I thought that I inherited the bad blood of my father, and I spent my lifetime failing to see that his sins aren’t my sins,” his voice cracks as he cries. “So when I found out about you… My mind automatically held you liable for the sins of the Nobles…

“But I talked to Pops and he straightened me up. I understand now. Our parents’ sins aren’t ours. It never was ours to begin with. So I’m sorry for blaming you for something you didn’t do…”

Ace stares at your crying form. He cups your face and sincerely says, “It’s so excruciating to see you low,” as he wipes the tears on your eyes. “I’m sorry if I hurt you…”

“It’s fine Ace, I forgive you. But…” You look directly into his eyes. “I’m at fault too,” you confess. “I was the one who left... I was so used to living like an island and isolating myself that it didn’t occur to me that I was punishing you with silence… I should’ve waited patiently for you but I ran away…”

Ace rubs your back gently and presses his forehead against yours, “I forgive you too.”

You smile in relief.

After a couple of minutes in silence, Ace tilts his head. “Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“Remember when you said that you saw daylight after sleeping in a long, dark night?”

You give him a curious look but nodded anyway.

“Beside wishing that I was there for you sooner, it had me thinking...”

“What?”

“Uhm… The world is terrible and cruel, and no one can ever really stop the dark nights from coming.”

You frown. You don’t really understand what Ace is trying to say.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is,” he rubs his neck while his cheeks starts to blush, “if you ever have to go through those dark nights, I wouldn’t want you to wait for daylight.

“I want to be there with you on those nights until they’re over. I don’t want to leave you when things get rough and only show up when you’re better. I know you see me as your daylight but I don’t want to be just that.”

His words warm your heart, and makes it skip a beat. “You know, Ace, there are remnants of light that linger in the sky even when the sun has long gone down and the night starts. It’s the afterglow,” you mumble.

“Yeah, but that goes away too after a while,” he frowns.

“Well, lucky for you the moon reflects the sun’s light during the night, huh?”

He grins. “Yeah, yeah. I like that. I want to be your source of light, may it be the daylight, moonlight, or the afterglow.”

A moment of silence engulfs the both of you. Under the soft afterglow of the sunset with your arms wrapped around each other, you feel at peace.

Once upon a time, you used to believe love is black and white— that it’s straightforward. It was either you love Ace or you don’t, there were no gray areas. No matter what he feels, says, or does, your love for him never ceases.

But then some other days you believed that love is burning red— that it’s full of passion, lust, and romance, much like the nights you spent entangled in the sheets with Ace.

However, right now in Ace’s arms, all you could ever think about is that love is golden. It was warmth and comfort, like what daylight brings. It was contentment and serenity too, much like the feeling of lightness one gets when seeing the afterglow of the sunset. Either way, it’s Ace who makes you feel those.

No matter what color love actually is though, for you it’s always embodied by Ace.

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0606-hyuck · 3 years

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a letter to my lover | zhong chenle

♡ dear y/n, i’m writing you this letter in the hopes that it gets to you well. our relationship has been tumultuous, that’s for sure, and i thought it was high time i wrote you a letter detailing all the times you said "i love you" that are important to me.

genre: chenle x reader, angst, fluff, supernatural!chenle, vampire!chenle

warnings: violence, blood/gore, death (of animals), guns, general vampirism

word count: 4.1K

tagging: the lovely @roses-of-the-moon ♡ @mora134340 @ncteology + @nct-writers

Y/N,

The first time you said “I love you”, I thought I was going to have to kill you.

That night we first met, I was not in a good state. My family had recently been forced to move from the commune we had called home for twenty years by your kind, and we were essentially on the run in search of a new, friendlier place to stay. Because we were vampires, my family could only travel efficiently during the night and so we were tired and very, very hungry. My mother, older brother, and I had managed to find a dingy little abandoned warehouse to stay in and we’d been taking turns to go out and feed on the wildlife near our new home. When I met you, I was scouring the forest for something to eat. A deer, a rabbit, a fox - I would eat literally anything at this point. Shit, even a frog would have been enough to sustain me until my family joined the vampire commune rumoured to be near your city.

Running almost blindly through the forest due to the large trees blocking out any moonlight, I had picked up the scent of what I assumed to be a wild deer and was doing my best to catch up to it while working on extremely low levels of energy. As a half-vampire, my senses were not as strong as a pure vampire even when they were functioning at normal capacity, let alone when I had been starving for days. I’d never ever been this hungry before in my whole life - I could feel my vision clouding and the bloodlust taking over my mind, pure adrenaline and craving coursing through my veins.

After a few moments the deer was within my sights and a couple of seconds later I was close enough to pounce on top of it and send us both rolling through the damp forest floor. The poor creature had no idea what was happening - one second it was standing peacefully alone and the next it was being chased by an inhuman creature, unaware of what its fate would be. Trust me, I did feel guilty killing the poor thing, as I’d only ever fed off of willing mortals at the old commune. But as my fangs sunk into the deer’s neck and its hot blood flowed into my mouth, down my throat, and to every fibre of my being, remorse was the last thing I was feeling.

I remember the sensation of the deer’s blood invading my body and causing my muscles to strain and stretch, my vision to unblur, my ears and nose to pick up sensations I hadn’t noticed before, and my mind to clear. The starvation I suffered before was horrendous, but the absolute feeling of pure clarity when I was finally able to feed made it all worth it. I wiped my mouth of the animal blood dripping from my lips and that was the moment I detected you. My newly heightened senses alerted me to your presence behind me, and as I slowly turned around on my heel I was preparing myself for my second kill of the evening.

I expected a human, of course, but I was imagining an older male with a gun and a desperation to end my life, not, well...you. I remember making eye contact with you and being stunned frozen by the fact I saw no callousness in them, only fear and surprise. The way your eyes darted from my own, to the deer carcass, and then back to my bloodied mouth let me know that you’d most likely just witnessed me feeding from the animal, and I couldn’t have that, now could I?

However, I didn’t kill you that night. I definitely should have, if I were abiding by the rules of vampirism that state all witnesses to the supernatural should be exterminated, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Yes, humans were the reason my family had to leave our house in the middle of the night and yes, your kind were the reason we had to watch our friends be shot as we fled, but I really did not want to give into the violence. I was, technically, similar to you due to my father being a human. I couldn’t kill someone who shared the same blood as me. Plus, what would I gain by killing you, too? It wouldn’t bring my friends back. My family and I would be on the move to the new commune soon anyway, so I’d probably never see you again and I could sprint away from here and not worry about you.

I turned to leave, to flee off into the darkness, when you spoke again. You called for me to stay, and when I did you explained you weren’t afraid of me and simply wanted to talk. You said you were a part of the occult community - I had never heard that word before - you told me it meant you believed in the supernatural. I was shocked, I wasn’t aware there was a whole community of people who knew about us. Obviously, humans had to know about my kind as they were the ones who committed the massacre on us, and also my father had to have known about us because he, you know, married and had kids with one. I just did not realise knowledge about vampires was so widespread.

You suddenly blurted out “I love you, I love your kind, and I don’t think we should be afraid of each other.” Through your secret occult community you had heard about the massacre at my commune and that was the reason you were in the forest that night - you were risking your life to try to help my kind start a better life.

You offered for me to stay in a little office you had out the back of your family home which was on the edge of the forest, and I found the offer too irresistible to deny. Good thing I decided not to kill you, because you turned out to be the best thing that happened to me.

The second time you said “I love you”, I had just saved your life.

Honestly, Y/N, my mother and my brother were unhappy to hear that I’d wandered so far from the warehouse that I’d run into a human, but like me they could not bring themselves to turn down your offer. That night, I’d taken you back to the warehouse, explained the situation to my family, and then we’d headed through the forest back to your place. Your parents were sleeping, obviously, and you’d hurried us into the office space, given us an old mattress from your garage, blankets, a water cooler, and wished us a goodnight.

I remember I didn’t get any sleep then, neither did my mother or brother, and we’d all huddled together waiting for the makeshift office to go up in flames or for you to burst in with a group of other humans to finally get rid of us. That didn’t happen.

We soon fell into a routine where we would sleep for most of the day while you managed to keep your parents from entering the old office space for months. You provided us with fresh water for the cooler and anything else we requested to keep us entertained. During the night, my family and I would explore the forest in order to feed on the wildlife and keep our fitness up.

You started to visit me most nights when you weren’t busy in order to help me research where this new vampire community was located. My mother and brother still hadn’t really warmed to you all that much, but I don’t think you minded. You seemed to be much more comfortable when it was just us two, hunched over scriptures you’d ‘borrowed’ from your occult group.

We spent so much time with each other that we actually became friends. Y/N, at the time that was such a strange concept for me. My whole life I’d been taught that humans were my enemy, despite being half human myself. They had only caused vampires death and lifelong pain, and so you were not to be trusted. But you were different. The humans we should be afraid of were the ones who did not understand us, who were not educated about us and who would kill us the first chance they got. We weren’t told about the humans like you - the ones that were fascinated by us and who were empathetic towards our situation.

You spent many nights with me in my makeshift home in your backyard, telling me about your interest in everything supernatural. We discussed human and supernatural relations, and how we believed peace between our kind was possible and desired. You also told me about your life, and listened patiently as I heartbreakingly explained how we’d lost my father due to old age a few years ago, as he was only human and we would long outlive him.

Never once did I feel like I was oversharing or should not have told you something. I never doubted your intentions to help us, and I felt like I could finally ignore my fear of an early death by humans when you were around. You made me feel safe, and it wouldn’t be long before I returned the favour.

About three months after you had taken my family in, rumours started spreading that you were harbouring dangerous individuals in your back garden. My brother had been caught sneaking back into your property one evening after both him and I had finished a hunt. I wanted to spend longer outside so, in an almost blood-drunk state, he went back home while I stayed in the forest. This absolute fool had decided it was safe enough to enter through the driveway, meaning he had walked in off of the street and alerted your neighbours to his presence when he accidentally tripped over the garden hose and went toppling into your rubbish bin. He had then been observed unlocking the office out the back, and your neighbours assumed he was a homeless man breaking into your property. I was far enough away that I hadn’t heard all the noise my older brother had made but the yells and succeeding gunfire caught my attention.

The scene that greeted me when I finally arrived back at your place, Y/N, was horrible. You were cornered in the back of your garden, trying your best to shield both my mother and brother from the crowd of mortals that had formed and were blocking the exit of the property. I vaulted myself over your back fence and joined you and my family, and you quickly explained the situation to me. My brother had caused the neighbours to believe he was a homeless trespasser, and when they’d confronted you guys about it they had realised he and my mother were not human. Then they’d pulled out their guns and started threatening both my family and you.

When I’d arrived your parents were yelling at you to hand my family over in exchange for your life, while the neighbours pointed handguns in your direction, but when they noticed me, all hell broke loose. I was barely at your side when someone fired the first shot my way, thankfully missing me, but resulting in everyone letting a barrage of gunfire fly our way.

My brother pulled my mother to the side of the office and I dived towards you, knowing my half-vampire skin would make a better bullet-proof shield than yours would, but I didn’t quite make it in time. I watched as the bullet entered your abdomen and you fell to the ground, curled over in pain. I yelled at my mother and brother to jump over the fence and somehow managed to scoop you up from the ground and launch you over the back end of your property, and followed quickly behind.

The mob of neighbours tried to follow us, but by the time they hefted their asses over the fence, I’d pulled you into my arms and we’d already taken off into the forest. You were fading in and out of consciousness and losing a lot of blood - so much so that it was incredibly tough for me to smell your blood and restrain myself from feeding off of you then and there.

Through the research we’d done together, we’d worked out the nearest vampire community was not actually in your town but in another over, so that’s where my family and I planned to take you. Usually we would need a permit to enter the compound but were figured turning up there and asking them to save you was a risk we were willing to take.

After around an hour of non-stop running, we finally stopped for a rest in a clearing and I was able to check your wounds. My mother and brother stood far away so as to not catch a whiff of the smell of your blood, and I pulled my shirt over my nose while I examined you. Your wound was bad, but because the bullet was still lodged in your stomach it was stopping a lot more blood loss. As I had you laid out in my lap, you smirked up at me and said, “I told you I loved you. Enough to try to save your family, at least.” I smiled back at you and replied, “and I love you for that, too.”

Little did I know how deep our love for each other actually ran.

The third time you said “I love you”, you were giving up your life.

Your mortal life, that is. My family arrived at the new vampire commune, aptly called Scarlet Watch, early the next morning. By this time your condition had only worsened, your skin was cool and your face was so pale you rivaled that of a snowman. We had to beg to be let in, as we were initially turned away because we did not have the necessary papers and we were carrying you, a human on the verge of death.

My family and I caused such a commotion that the guards of Scarlet Watch called in their governor who decided to let us through - on the condition that you would be turned into a vampire in order to save your life. You were so out of it by this stage that asking you for your permission was impossible, and my family let me make the final decision, claiming I was the closest to you and would know what your wishes would be.

When deciding your fate, Y/N, I was so selfish. For me, the question wasn’t “would Y/N want to be a vampire”, it was “do I think I want to live without Y/N?” My answer was no. Not only had you risked your life to hide us in your spare room on your property and help us research Scarlet Watch, you’d also risked your life a second time when you tried your best to protect my family the night prior. Furthermore, you were the only human I’d met, besides my father, who did not want to harm me and who even took the time to get to know me. There was no way I could just let you die.

When I told the governor my decision on your behalf, there was no hesitation in whisking you off to another building in order to undergo the transformation process. My mother, brother, and I rushed after you, and we found ourselves in a kind of medical building. They laid you on a cold, metal operating table and it was like the iciness of it finally shocked you back into consciousness because your eyes instantaneously flew open and you looked around in a panic.

I managed to force my way into the room and held your hand in my own, and you seemed to calm down slightly. I explained that they were going to make you a vampire, like me, and that this was the only way to save your life because you’d lost so much blood. You agreed, and I could feel you were fading again so I told you I loved you. I don’t know why I said it, but deep down I knew it was true. You smiled, said you loved me back, and then I was pulled back out of the room and you were left to your fate.

The last time you say “I love you” will be as you watch the light fade from my eyes.

The day we arrived at Scarlet Watch was the longest day of my life. I’d never witnessed a human be transformed into a vampire, and was told that I had to just sit and wait until it was safe to visit you. Y/N, I was so scared for you. I tried to consume some bagged blood the Scarlet Watch officials provided us, but I couldn’t focus on anything other than you. While my brother caught up on some much needed rest, I sat in the room they’d lent us, wringing my hands with worry. Even my mother became concerned for me, and commented she’d never seen me in this state before. God, how awkward is it to explain to your mother you think you’re actually in love with someone? A human turned vampire, no less?

I really couldn’t properly articulate how I felt for you in that moment, because I didn’t fully understand it myself. It was like after you were shot, I was faced with your mortality and I finally realised just how important you were to me. You were unlike any other human I’d met before - there was something so precious about you that I just wanted to treasure forever. Turns out my mother understood how I felt about you, and, considering she had married and had a child with a human to produce me, she was fully supportive of my feelings. It’s not like I needed her blessing to feel the way I felt about you, but it definitely did solidify everything for me.

A few days after your transformation, I was finally able to see you again. I had been told to stay away for awhile because newly turned vampires are notoriously violent and bloodthirsty, going after anything that looks like it moves. When I saw you again, you had just woken from a long nap and I had no reservations about running over and wrapping you in my arms. I couldn’t stop myself from cupping your face in my hands and giving you a massive kiss on the forehead, and then pulling you back into me again. You just laughed, clearly a little surprised by my actions but quickly returned my affection.

I noticed the similarities between us - your skin had a sort of unnatural glow to it, your reflexes were a lot faster, and your eyes, although they’d lost their shine, were wide and alert. However, unlike me, you were considered a full vampire because you’d been turned by another of our kind. You were not ‘pure’, a pure vampire is one who is born to two full vampires, but you were technically more supernatural than I, a half vampire, was.

I didn’t tell you how I felt about you for a while afterwards. I knew that your main priority was adjusting to the new life we had here, in Scarlet Watch. This was our new home, after all. I took care of you as you were recovering from the transformation, and we moved into our own unit together while my mother and brother shared the one next to us. I taught you how to hunt, how to feed, how to regulate your heartbeat and breathing - all the basic stuff I’d known about since I was a baby, but I didn’t mind because it meant I got to spend more time in your company.

It was only when you’d almost fully adjusted to your new life that I decided to tell you I loved you, for real. We had finished work for the day - I worked as a casual laborer around Scarlet Watch and you worked in the records department of the council - and we were sitting in our shared living room discussing what came next for us. Was Scarlet Watch where we wanted to live? Is this what we wanted to do for the rest of our (un)natural lives? Did we want to stick together, or get separate apartments?

I decided to simply bite the metaphorical bullet and tell you that I wanted to be with you, in a relationship. I could tell by your stunned silence that you certainly weren’t expecting me to say that, but I did. Judging by your lack of words, I was so sure that you were going to friendzone me, Y/N, that it was my turn to be surprised when you told me that was what you wanted, too. You said us being together made so much sense, especially since we both felt so strongly for each other, and that was that.

My mother was not surprised when, two years later, I told her you and I were getting married. You know my mother, Y/N - she claims she knew we would be together the moment I confessed how I felt about you to her for the first time - but nonetheless she was very happy for us (and even happier to throw herself into wedding planning mode). The day we were married, Y/N, was the happiest day in my life. It was a stark contrast to the day you almost died, which was by far the longest and scariest day of my life.

We were finally going to be together, not that we needed a piece of paper to tell us that, and it was almost overwhelming the amount of love and support that surrounded us on that day. I remember trying my hardest not to cry - since we physically can’t, I would have just been standing there looking like I was constipated, so I am glad that I didn’t. I don’t want to say that it was you being a vampire that took my breath away when I first saw you on our wedding day, because I am sure if you were still human you would have looked just as ethereal, but there really was something about you that day that stood out to me as magical. It was almost as if you were born to be a vampire with me.

I decided to write this letter to reflect on all the memorable times you said “I love you”. Our relationship was definitely a surprise - who would have guessed that day in the forest that we would end up being married - but I don’t regret anything about it. Last night, you brought up the topic of having children together. While I would love to have children with you, it did make me think long and hard about the idea of bringing a new life into the world - but also the inevitability of death.

Our conversation made me realise that while there have been many times we’ve told each other we love one another, the last time we will say it will be when I am dying. Because you are a full vampire, and I am only a half vampire, you are almost guaranteed to outlive me by at least twenty years.

I am not sure if you’ve realised this yet, but I cannot bring myself to breach the subject of my death with you, which is why I decided to write this letter instead. I am trying to forget about this dire fact, but in all truthfulness it is a certainty that I think about every day. What will happen to you after I die? Will you be okay? Will you remarry? Will you and our children decide to move from Scarlet Watch?

One thing I can say, though, is that I don’t envy you. I can’t imagine a world where I have to keep existing long after you have gone. If an early death means I never have to see you die, then I would take that over anything else. Luckily, we still have a lot more decades to live through before I inevitably pass before you, but like I said, I can’t stop thinking about the pain my death will cause you.

For now, though, the only sensible option is to enjoy the time that we do have together, and worry about all the little details later. So, shall we get to work making babies, baby?

From your loving husband,

Chenle ;)

#neowritingsnet #cznnet #nct-writers #dreamwritersnet #nct #nct dream #nct dream chenle #nct chenle #chenle nct #chenle #zhong chenle #chenle imagine #chenel scenario #chenle x reader #supernatural nct

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thanksjro · 3 years

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More Than Meets the Eye #30 - The Cybertronian Judicial System is a Friggin’ Joke

Have I mentioned that I’m not a huge fan of court case stories? I think they’re pretty boring, on average, so the last couple of issues have been slightly dragging for me.

Anyway, back to Megatron’s trial.   Our issue opens up with a full back shot of Ultra Magnus.

Artists take note, he really is built like a capital T.

As Magnus reads out Megatron’s statement retracting his “guilty” plea, we get some decent points as to why. See, telling a guy that you’ll stab him in the brain, so his trial can be over as quickly as possible, maybe isn’t such a hot idea. Megatron wasn’t a huge fan of that, or of how those memories they would’ve yanked outta him would have been used to fuel the Autobot propaganda machine. Why, you may ask?

Well, I don’t know if you knew this or not, but Megatron… doesn’t particularly care for the Autobots, nor the rhetoric they uphold.

I know, I was surprised too!

There’s also the fact that Optimus Prime is the judge on this whole thing. You know. Optimus Prime. Off and on leader of the Autobots, whenever it suits him. The guy who fucked off into space for a year after the war. The guy who threw a hissy fit when someone pointed out that he was compromised the last time they did something like this with Megatron. This guy:

Yeah, there might be a slight conflict of interests here. Remind me again why this had to be a military trial?

Anyway, enough of that, it’s time for a fight scene.

A swarm of Decepticons storm the arena, going after Megatron so they can help him escape. Magnus, though acting as Megatron’s defense, cannot abide by this disorder in the court.

Wild to think there’s a tiny little Pringles man with anxiety in there, isn’t it?

Optimus joins the fray, because there really are, just, so many guys to deal with here. A dude goes to collect Megatron, stating that they brought teleport packs for this little shindig. Megatron isn’t super jazzed about that though, not bothering to grab on before the dude gets shot to death. There’s a brief recess, I guess so the janitorial staff can deal with the mess of corpses littering the courtroom.

Meanwhile, in the present day, Rung’s building a model spaceship in Swerve’s, which is a very brave thing to be doing, seeing how sticky and gross bars can be. Brainstorm’s brought a flask to the bar, and proceeds to pour the contents into a funnel sticking out of his arm.

Our bartender for the evening- I’m assuming it’s evening, but I doubt the concept of time has any real weight in space- is Bluestreak. Bluestreak was stationed on Earth for a while, which is some Phase One stuff, and took a liking to human media while he was there. He’s the guy who handles movie night these days, seeing as Rewind’s too busy being dead to do it, and I doubt Chromedome has the emotional bandwidth to take over for his late spouse.

Bluestreak’s favorite movie is Zulu, a film glorifying the colonialism of the English over the native populace of an African kingdom. Make of that what you will.

Whirl wants to watch À Bout de Soufflé, or Breathless, as it was translated for the English-speaking world, which is a French New Wave film about a criminal who shoots a cop, hides from the police in a journalist’s home, who he seduces and likely impregnates. She eventually finds out what he did, reports him to the police, but then has a change of heart and lets him know what she’s done. He runs, but is shot, and dies in the street. The film is notable for its final scene, in which the following dialogue happens, between the dying criminal Michael, his lover Patricia, and an officer.

Of course, any poignancy would almost certainly be lost on the average comic book reader, and is also somewhat nullified by Whirl praising the film with internet lingo.

Then again, I suppose Whirl would be the type to dismantle any deeper reading of his interest in such a film, lest he be subjected to the horrifying ordeal of being known.

Over with Skids and Riptide, it’s revealed that Megatron’s been teaching classes on the Lost Light, specifically on the Knights of Cybertron. Riptide’s getting an education, because he’s been feeling pretty lost since the war ended- we’ll get to the potential whys of that later on. Swerve isn’t a fan of this community college thing that’s going on, stating that Megatron’s using it as a distraction, so he can devise plots most foul.

Back in the past, Autobot high command is having a talk about what Megatron’s demanding, and man is it a doozy— turns out, since the trial’s happening on Luna 2, the trial proceedings are subject to the laws of the moon. One of these moon laws is the right to request being judged by the Knights of Cybertron. Now, this is a problem, seeing as the Knights of Cybertron have been AWOL for the last several million years, but the law is the law, and you can’t just go ignoring it when someone’s pointed it out.

Bro, your SIC just suggested y’all pull the trial so you could slap it on Cybertron, thus negating any need to pay attention to the Knight law. That’s such a gross miscarrying of justice, it’s genuinely baffling. You’ve got bigger issues going on than flouting. My god, Optimus, you were a cop—

Oh wait, that’s right. Carry on, then.

Back on the Lost Light, First Aid’s checking to make sure that the coffin Rodimus they revealed last issue is true and proper dead. Now, this may seem like a given, but you’ve got to remember that Brainstorm was mostly dead for over a year and a half, and nobody fucking noticed, so it’s probably for the best that they’re checking.

First Aid’s been pretty withdrawn since Ambulon died, so this autopsy is really good for him, since it got him out of his room. Pretty fucked up that it would take a dead body to get him out and about. Has Rung checked in on his poor son of a gun, or has he been spending the last six months getting his professional rocks off psychoanalyzing a genocidal warlord?

Our coffin Rodimus died from having parts of his brain removed, and potentially died screaming.

Yes, that is a Furmanism, thank you peanut gallery, moving on—

Ratchet hands the phone over to Ultra Magnus, saying that a call has to be made, and it can’t be by him, because the callee is mighty upset with Ratchet at the moment.

Oh, I guess he’s fine after all. This must be where the sci-fi bullshit really starts kicking in for the series.

Because seeing your own dead body is likely very traumatic and awful, Rodimus is taking a while to string together his thoughts on the matter. Megatron doesn’t particularly care, because he’s not terribly sympathetic to this sort of thing, and the two get into a spat, where it’s revealed that they’re co-captaining the Lost Light.

Because things weren’t chaotic enough on this fucking ship. Need to mix in some peacocking between the McDonalds twunk and the man who killed half of Beijing.

Back in the past, Optimus Prime visited Megatron in prison to have a little chat. It’s not about that little rescue attempt, though the fact that those Decepticons may have been released from the Lost Light’s brig is certainly interesting. No, Optimus is here to sit way too close to his mortal nemesis on the floor of his room and talk about how Megatron is a sneaky bastard.

You remember the Hellraiser puzzle box from a couple issues back? Yeah, that was a communicube, one that was passed to Optimus to suggest that the trial be held on the moon, so the arena there would be able to hold all the people wronged by Megatron. This seems pretty damn convenient in hindsight, but Megatron swears that the legal loophole wasn’t his only intent when he sent the cube.

Because it’s all about you, isn’t it, Megatron? It’s all about how you’re perceived by future generations. Fuck the guys who had to actually deal with what your personal choices caused to happen.

Megatron wants to make amends with all those who were wronged by him. This doesn’t include being acquitted of his crimes, which, y’know, good- at least he’s being slightly realistic about how this is going to turn out for him.

What he wants to do is find Cyberutopia, so the Cybertronians have a replacement planet, since Cybertron kind of sucks now.

Oh, sorry, did I say realistic? I take it back.

In the present, Rodimus is still bummed out about being dead. Still, the day doesn’t stop just because it’s a bad one, and he calls in the experts.

CHROMEDOME YOU PROMISED TO STOP THIS SHIT

Yeah, no, Chromedome’s fallen off the wagon again, and does his thing on the coffin Rodimus. As he does, Megatron suddenly gets squeamish, Brainstorm pulls out his early early-warning device to lean on the fourth wall, and it’s revealed that the coffin that coffin Rodimus was in was built in the fashion of the Spectralist faith.

All Chromedome can suss out of coffin Rodimus’ memories is the really big important stuff, which includes the speech at Rivet’s Field inviting folks to come join the Knight Quest. Aww, that’s sweet.

With the analysis of the innermost energon complete, the results are in— the coffin Rodimus is a Rodimus. A real one, from the near future. Bummer.

I suppose denial is one of the seven stages of grief, isn’t it?

As everyone argues over whether or not Rodimus is going to die, Nightbeat brings up a good point— there aren’t any numbers carved into the coffin Rodimus’ hand. Rodimus is about to reveal some Ratchet-original wisdom, when things start getting really weird; whole sections of the Lost Light are disappearing.

Over at Swerve’s, Tailgate is regaling his peers with the story of his derring-do against Chief Justice Tyrest. Everyone is very impressed, and this includes our good buddy Getaway.

Jeez, think you’ve got enough antagonist shadows on this guy? It’s almost as if the art’s trying to tell us something about him.

Getaway lays it on real thick, saying that Tailgate could totally be the next Prime, with how courageous and awesome he is, all while completely ignoring Tailgate’s personal space and having a weirdly tiny hand. This seems to seriously bother Cyclonus, who is watching this shit go down from the doorway. Our purple space jet leaves once the drinks start being poured and conversation starts happening. God knows he hates talking about his insecurities.

Then the Pipes is Friggin’ Dead alarm goes off. But Pipes has been dead for a while now, so that must mean something else awful is happening.

Back during the trial, I guess because Optimus has a soft spot for Megatron, he allows him to join the Lost Light’s Knight Quest… even as he says that he could keep the guy locked up until Rodimus and pals find the Knights. However, there are rules to this, and one of the rules is that Megatron must publicly denounce the Decepticon cause.

It is a slow and painful experience for everyone involved, as he reads the statement he was given. It’s an immediate call to action- or rather, inaction.

Geez, think they could’ve made it any more obvious that this was being ghostwritten? I can’t wait to see how long it takes for “Megatron was blackmailed into saying this by the Autobots” to be a plotpoint.

Outside the prison, Ratchet and Rodimus are taking in the brand new Rod Pod, which is genuinely ridiculous in how large it is. Rodimus admits to having taken Atomizer’s list, though he knows that trying to use it to keep those who voted him off would be a pretty shitty thing to do.

Also, no one’s told him about Megatron coming along on the trip. As captain.

Or you could, I dunno, lock him up from the start. Or, if you want to give him a chance to prove himself, slap him into a bottom-rung role, like bilge cleaner, or sewage mucker, or whatever the equivalent would be on a spaceship full of giant gay robots. We don’t have to give the guy any power to hold him to scrutiny— any minimum wage worker will tell you that scrutiny comes far harsher for those who actually carry out orders than those who give them.

But what do I know? I’ve never fought in a several million year war, and I don’t plan to.

Getting back to the list, it seems as if Ratchet and Rodimus are on the same wavelength, in that both agree it’s only going to cause trouble and hurt feelings to keep the thing around. Rodimus destroys it with his usual flare, only to be blindsided by the fact that it was fake this entire time. How does Ratchet know this?

Because his name wasn’t on it.

...Man, that’s gotta sting. No wonder Rodimus was upset enough to not take his calls.

In the present, everyone’s in a panic, as they all bolt for the shuttle bay and start pouring into shuttles. The Lost Light is disintegrating around them, which is sort of a problem. Despite this nightmare scenario happening, Rodimus and Megatron still find the time to be assholes to each other. That’s dedication right there.

As the two bicker, multiple shuttles zip away from the rapidly disappearing ship, including the Rod Pod.

Man, now it really is the Lost Light.

#transformers #jro #MTMTE #world shut your mouth #issue 30 #Hannzreads #text post #long post #overthinking about robots #incoming analysis #comic script writing

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