journal entry | 3-10-20 | regarding shifting

I feel like i’ve been close to shifting these past two days (like really close), especially the day before yesterday. I think that if I’d been persistent and resisted scratching my side (it was too much I was dying) maybe I would’ve been able to do it.

Unfortunately last night was a bit of a mess and didn’t go as well as it had before; I tried some new methods involving songs, but youtube ads had this really funny idea of wanting to completely take me out of the experience and then Spotify also did me dirty by automatically playing more songs than I had queued (and no, the queue wasn’t looped, so it wasn't that either). The setbacks made me feel super frustrated, which obviously didn’t help, so I decided to keep giving those methods a try some other day and went back to using the raven and sunni method combination, which (as I mentioned in a previous post) has so far worked the best for me and shown me the most progress. 

Now, there’s two aspects of this that I want to explore, firstly it’s why I think I’m getting close, what have I noticed that changed? What’s different? What am I doing right? And the second one is why I feel like I haven't shifted yet, what am I missing? What am I doing wrong?

-

As for what I’m doing right, I feel like the Raven/Sunni method combination is working the best and most efficiently, and think I should stick to that one until I manage to learn how to shift with ease before trying something else and risking setting back or stalling my progress the way I did last night.

Now, there are a couple of reasons why I think I’m getting close: the symptoms have been coming way easier and more persistently than they did the first few days. The first few days that I started trying to shift I only seemed to get to a point of meditation and stopped there, which is great, it helped me concentrate and focus on visualizing, so that felt like a good first step, but recently, I’ve gotten past that and actually felt a bit different.

I’m going to talk a little bit about the symptoms that I’ve felt in more detail, mostly because I feel like most people who talk about them just say “dizziness, feeling like you’re floating” which, yes, that is what it feels like but personally for me, sometimes its hard to just base everything off of one word, because to me, there are different kinds of “dizzy”, for example.

Now, because I know these symptoms aren’t necessarily something that everyone experiences, but they seem to be the most common and generally accepted ones, as well as the ones that I have personally experienced so far and I will list them. They are in no particular order, since they all happen but don’t seem to have particular pattern in which I experience them.

Floating

This one is a bit confusing for me, not in the literal sense of the word, but it sort of overlaps with Detachment. The closest thing I can compare it to is when you’re swimming and you just completely relax your arm in the surface of the water and it’s, well floating.

I like to think of it as air fairies holding my arm up so it doesn’t fall through the mattress, I sort of stop feeling the sheets of my bed and the cold air of my AC, it’s this sort of just neutral feeling. In general, it’s just very relaxing. However it is with this symptom that I personally have the most trouble dealing with because as I start feeling it, at first its just calm and comforting, but after a few minutes, I start to get itchy spots (mostly in my legs and torso, which are the worst for me personally) and I have to concentrate really hard not to scratch them or think about them.

Dizziness

I felt dizzy, but it was a strange sort of dizzy. I’m anemic so, I’m pretty familiar with bed-dizziness, and for a second, I thought it was just that, but, it felt different. Instead of it being like everything around me was moving, it felt like I was the one moving. My back was still to the bed but it felt as if I was standing and the mattress was behind me. And yes, the world around me does move a little bit, though its not painfully disorienting, it just feels sort of like when you get off of a trampoline, or done a lot of exercise a lot and your legs make the ground feel wobbly, but in my head.

Detachment

I don’t know if this is what people call but the best way I can describe it is feeling detached from my body, something similar to disassociating (if you know what that feels like). To me, it feels the way a 3D movie without glasses looks, off kilter, like my body is the red and I am the blue. When I say I, I mean my brain, my soul, my essence, whatever you’d like to call it, but thats what it feels like. They’re not quite separated from one another yet, like in a 3D movie, they’re still touching, but they’re definitely out of phase.

The most noticeable parts for me are the arms, sometimes they feel a bit shorter for my actual, physical arms (which makes sense, since I did script that I start at a younger age in my DR) and they want to move forwards and reach for what I’m visualizing in front of me. The only thing that has stopped me from actually doing this (re: reaching out) is that a lot of different elements are still the same (i can still feel my sheets, i can still hear my AC running, etc.) and I don’t want to break concentration until I’m sure 100% I’ve shifted.

Other Symptoms

Some other symptoms that I’ve been feeling (but honestly I don’t think too much of them for a couple of reasons) are seeing Angel Numbers and Migraines /Headaches. Now why am I talking about these separately? Because they don’t particularly mean anything to me, but they are listed as some of the most common symptoms you experience during the day when you’re close to shifting (but not necessarily attempting).

Migranes/Headaches are something I experience quite often, it’s just something that runs in my family and my caffeine addiction doesn't help at all, so even though I had one throughout the entire day yesterday (the day after I have felt the closest ever to shifting), I don’t want to get my hopes up about it, since it’s not an uncommon thing to happen to me, however, it is still worth noting (if this is something you experience though, and it doesn’t happen to you often, then I’d probably take it as a sign that you’re close! Hooray!)

And as for Angel Numbers, they’re something that I’ve been seeing a lot of in these past two-three days (of course, when I say “a lot” I mean once a day or so.) I don’t count the Angel Numbers I see on my fyp on Tik Tok for example, because it makes sense to me that I’d see them on posts regarding Shifting Realities because those feel a bit like cheating, of course I’d see them under that particular topic. Though not gonna lie, I’m a little bit of a skeptic when it comes to Angel Numbers (I know i shouldn’t be but i just can’t help it), but it doesn't take away the fact that I HAVE been seeing them

-

Now that I have the positives down and the changes I’ve felt identified, I want to focus on why I think I haven’t shifted yet. Other than the fact that yesterday all the shifting setbacks really threw me off from the progress I thought I had made, it made me feel really frustrated and I feel like that negative thinking and feeling carried on with me until I fell asleep, which is never good, so I need to stay positive, and I think I will, now that I’ve mulled it over, so that should be good.

I’ve also had a really busy week so I’ve been super distracted in general and haven't been able to prepare as well as I would’ve liked for the Sunni method, but I’m going to try to get some preparation in before I go to bed, and since I can sleep in tomorrow, I won't feel as much pressure. I hope that’ll give me the last little push that I need to shift.

-

As of writing this, its 11pm and I’m going to prepare as best I can for the Sunni method before I wash off and then go to sleep. Hopefully today will be the day, and if not, I hope it’ll be soon.

Phoenix by Fallout Boy

SO, Deciet’s real name is Janus, so I changed his human character’s name to Janus. I’m not changing it in any earlier chapters. But it’ll be Janus from here on out. Chapter twelve it is.

Chapter Twelve: Hell to Your Doorstep from The Count of Monte Cristo musical

               Virgil ran his finger across the edge of the photograph he had stolen from Patton’s scrap book. He had been clinging to it for days now. It was the first image he had ever seen of his parents together. And there was such an uncanny feeling to finally seeing his mother.

               She didn’t look like someone who would walk out on her kid. Not that he really blamed her for it, Payton was probably one of those guys who threatened to kill themselves to get what they want. And she was most likely leaving him with his grandmother rather than his dad. And she was only like twenty, maybe twenty-one. Probably old enough to drink, no one would have sex with Payton sober. Hardly the image of good decision making.

               No, he wasn’t mad at past mom. It was present mom who had hurt him. It was present mom who didn’t want him. Present mom who had moved on and didn’t have room for anymore baggage. Any room for him.

               Payton had often told people that she rejected the idea of starting a family with him, it was a good sympathy play that cast him as the victim. She seduced him and left him with the baby. Another great victim claim. And of course, the pseudo rape story that had started most of this. Payton finally bit off more than he could chew with a lie that could be so easily disproved.

               Despite Payton’s lies to other people, Virgil had always heard the same story. His mom left because she didn’t want him. He never would have guessed that, that was the true story.

               “Blue skidoo we can too!” Dr. Picani sang as he popped into the room. “How are you today Virgil?”

               “I’m doing good.” Virgil quickly pocketed his picture. “I haven’t had to take too many Valium.”

               “That’s good. But you are taking the Prozac daily right?”

               “Yes, Logan is super on top of that.”

               “Good. And I heard that you’re spending time at the library while Patton’s working.”

               “Yeah, it’s a pretty chill place.”

               “Oh, I thought it would be warmer, it is summer after all.” Picani grinned.

               “Patton told that same joke.” Virgil smiled.

               “So, your anxiety is calming down. How about the nightmares, you still having those?”

               “Yeah.” Virgil looked away.

               “Has the bed wetting gotten any better?”

               “There were a couple more since our last session. Uncle Logan suggested I stop drinking after nine, and that helped a bit.”

               “Ok, that’s good. And it’s awesome that your uncles are trying to help you through this.”

               “Yeah.”

               “Have you talked to either of them about, well, Payton?”

               “I told Uncle Logan a few things.”

               “Do you feel ready to talk about them here?”

               “I can try, that way if I wuss out of going to court there’s still a record of it.”

               “Hang on, let’s get into the way back machine and start at the beginning of that statement.”

               “I want to testify against my dad. I’m done being afraid of him. And I want him to know that I know he’s just a mere mortal. Just like the rest of us.”

               “That’s pretty intense. Are you sure about this?”

               “I am. I’ve given it a lot of thought.” Virgil hardened his resolve.

               “Ok. Confronting your abuser is a massive step. And it’s one that a lot of people struggle with, even adults. So, I want you to be one million percent sure of this. Ok?”

               “I am.”

               “Ok, and if you change your mind, you can.”

               “Cool.”

               “So, if we are gonna talk about Payton, I want to try a different technique with you. It’s all in the technique.”

               “What are we gonna do? You gonna pull out one of those ‘show me where he touched you’ dolls?”

               “No, but those are extremely successful, don’t diss them.” Picani replied. “I want you to tell me about your dad, but I want you to tell the story backwards.”

               “Is this from a cartoon?” Virgil squinted.

               “No, it’s from a journal of psychology.” Picani sat up straighter. “And also, the backwards messages from Gravity Falls.”

               “That reminds me.” Virgil interrupted. “Where can I get Teen Titans, I can’t find any episodes on YouTube.”

               “I recommend the DVDs you can get bonus features.” Picani answered gleefully, before becoming a shrink again. “So, what do you think? Ya, think you can talk about Payton backwards?”

               “I’ll try.” Virgil hesitated. “Which story do you want to hear?”

               “You decide, it’s your hour.”

               “I’ll go recent.” Virgil sighed and thought hard. “So, when I looked at the bruise later there was a full-fledged belt mark. As always, I went to school bruises and all. It was at that point that he started hitting me. Sick of his bullshit, I told him to stop harassing me over something that wasn’t my fault. As he does, Payton mocked and yelled at me for wetting the bed like a toddler, saying if I keep this up, he is just going to order a crib for me. Payton came in and asked why I was screaming. I woke up screaming and noticed that the sheets were wet. It was April, and I had a debate meeting coming up and a chess tournament and all of my teachers were on me to talk to my dad about my grades, so when I finally did get to sleep, I had nightmares.”

               Virgil paused the memory didn’t seem so terrifying now. What black magic…?  

               “How ya feelin’” Picani asked curiously.

               “Ok.” Virgil responded, surprised. “What happened?”

               “Well, the idea is to be able to recall what happened backwards so that you can see the memory but not the fear associated with the moment. I think it’s using just your left brain, and then you can see the even without feeling that crushing weight. Like you get to know that it wasn’t the end of the world, process it and be able to move on. Cool, Huh?”

               “Very.” Virgil smiled.

               “And it’s not so bad seeing a thing in reverse. It’s almost kind of funny.”

               “Sure, if you watch a horror movie backwards it ends up being about a monster who brings people back to life.”

               “Exactly.”

               “How are you going to decipher what I’m actually saying?”

               “I’m recording our session so I can work it out later.”

               “Cool.” Virgil nodded. “Aren’t tape recordings not admissible though?”

               “The recording is just for me we’re not taking it into court.”

               “Ok.” Virgil looked at the ground. “What can we do if Payton accuses my uncles of abusing me?”

               “Well, unless your dad has proof it’s just going to be an accusation.”

               “Yeah, but then the accusation is still going to be there. And just that could ruin them. I don’t want that to happen.”

               “Virgil, are you worried that he’s going to claim that they have been molesting you?”

               “Yes. He’s literally the devil. He would totally do that. What can I do to counter that?”

               “I’ll call my friend Joan, they’re with the police, and they can probably help me get a few things together. Ok?”

               “Like what?”

               “We have screening tests to see if a person is, well, sick in that way, that we use mostly for cases like this.”

               “Ok.” Virgil looked at his skeptically.

               “And.” He hesitated. “Well, since you brought it up… they haven’t done anything like that have they?”

               “No.” Virgil went with the response that could never be taken out of context. “They have not at any point in time touched me in any inappropriate manner or tried to commit any sexual acts with me. It has never happened, and I am completely certain that it never will.”

               Virgil smiled at Picani after he finished talking.

               “Virgil, do you watch a lot of court room dramas?” Picani asked, giving him a side eye.

               “I’ve been watching a lot of reddit threads about custody battles.” Virgil looked at the floor, ashamed. “I’m scared.”

               “That’s perfectly normal.” Picani soothed. “You don’t want to go back to Payton, and you don’t want anything to happen to your uncles, am I right?”

               “Yeah, that’s about it.”

               “Well, we’re all going to try to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

               “Ok.” Virgil stared at him through his bangs.

               “We still have some time do you want to keep talking?”

               “I guess.”

               “Ok, and afterwards, can you send your uncles in?”

               “Sure.”

                                                                               #             #             #

               “I already had Patton take that screening as a part of his background test.” Thomas said from Emile’s monitor. “Logan too. They’re clean, at least as far as we can prove.”

               “Well, at least there’s that.” Emile responded. “Virgil’s pretty worried. And I think he has a good reason to be.”

               “We have a solid case, and at least three reasons for Payton to lose custody.” Janus added from his portion of the screen. “Four if we can charge him with neglect.”

               “Ok, Jan. We don’t have to wail on him.” Thomas scolded.

               “Maybe you don’t.” Janus rolled his good eye. “And I told you not to call me jan.”

               “Look, Virgil expressed a concern about this, and I want to be able to prove that we are doing something.” Emile interrupted, not wanting an argument. “I want him to see that he can trust people.”

               “I get that.” Thomas sighed. “The system messed him over just about as much as his dad did. Well, I covered all the bases. I’m not about to release a teenager into the custody of potential pedophiles.”

               “And we should get the results of Payton’s psych evaluation from the prison soon.” Janus added smoothly. “His bail hearing didn’t go as well as he would have wanted.”

               “He’s still locked up?” Thomas raised an eyebrow.

               “He doesn’t have anywhere to go.” Emile added. “He burned his house down, and he can’t stay with Patton because he’s not allowed to go near Virgil.”

               “That’s pretty much it. That and they were worried he may try to retaliate against his brother.”

               “How has no one helped this kid sooner?” Thomas said, his face buried in his hands.

               “I know.” Emile sighed. “I hate working with older kids. It hurts to think that they had to suffer for that long.”

               “We’re doing all we can.” Janus sighed, rubbing his temples. “And we’re helping him now. You can’t keep driving yourself crazy every time you get assigned to an older kid. I’m sorry, but we can’t save everyone.”

               “Ok, I have another session soon.” Emile looked at the clock in the computer. “I just wanted to see if everything was kosher.”

               “It is. Unfortunately for Payton, this isn’t our first time doing this.” Janus smiled.

               “Yeah, he’s really screwed himself.” Thomas added. “It’s gonna be a fireworks display.”

               “Ok. Keep me updated.”

               “We will.” Janus nodded. “I wonder if I can prove neglect.”

               Janus Pent or surprisingly cruel attorney logged off.

               “Damn, he’s vindictive.” Thomas sighed.

               “He’s a bit of a Bismuth, but he means well.”

               “Yeah, I guess we all have to cope with this somehow.”

               “You still good for our session on Thursday?”

               “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

               “Ok, bye.”

               “Peace out.”

               Thomas logged off.

               Emile closed his laptop. Thomas was a Steven all the way. He wanted to help, and usually he spread himself too thin trying to help everyone. And he’d beat himself up way too much over the ones he couldn’t help. But he was doing ok, therapy helped him. Mostly, it showed him that he needed to help himself as well.

               Janus or Pent or E.S as his plaque read, (they somehow misheard his name), or whatever he wanted to be called, was very different. He was a Bismuth. Passionate, skilled but very vindictive. He wasn’t a bad guy. He was just very empathetic towards the victims he represented and wanted to hurt their abusers right back. That wasn’t bad, in fact it was very normal. But it definitely needed to be kept in check.  

               Emile traced a circle around one of his cardigan buttons. He liked to think of himself as a Steven as well or maybe an Amethyst. After all, he went into medicine to help people. And as many people as he could. Sure, no one thought he was cut out for it. He always knew that. No one was more aware than Emile that he didn’t cast the most intelligent looking silhouette. And yes, he talked about cartoons a lot. But it worked.

               He had a decent success rate. And being a goofy goober made people open up to him. If he walked into a session with a fake persona then his patients would put their walls up too.

               “If I had been Mr. Stoic, Virgil would have never talked to me.” Emile said to himself. “None of the kids would have. Heck, most of the couples might not have.”

                                                                               #             #             #

               “Ok, we’ll be home in an hour, maybe more.” Patton said as he hugged Virgil. “Stay safe and be good for Roman.”

               “Uncle Patton, I’m thirteen.” Virgil sighed, hugging him back.

               “We shouldn’t be too long.” Logan sighed, patting Virgil on the head. “I’m giving Payton half an hour to threaten us, and the lawyers half an hour to negotiate. I’m hoping I can have them talk while Payton threatens us. It’ll save time.”

               “I’m sorry I got you into this.” Virgil buried his face in Patton’s shoulder.

               “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” Patton kissed him on the head.

               “We’re almost out of this. The metaphorical light at the end of the tunnel.”

               “By the by.” Roman added, he was leaning against the wall casually. “Remus and I talked on the phone last week, he said if we need a diversion so we can run away with Virgil, he’s down for it. Said, he’s been practicing.”

               “We’re not using Remus as a distraction.” Patton said officially. “It’s not fair to exploit his, whatever is wrong with him. We’re doing this legally.”

               “Are we sure Remus is real?” Virgil asked. “I don’t wanna think that there’s someone that screwed up in the world.”

               “Payton is worse, he exists.” Roman countered. “Remus isn’t a bad person, he’s just insane.”

“We’re not talking about Payton right now.” Patton waved away the idea.

               “We should get going, I’d like to be early.” Logan squeezed Patton’s shoulder.

               “Ok.” He smiled up at him and turned back to Virgil. “I just want you to know that we love you and we’re proud of you. And everything’s gonna be ok.”

               Patton gave him one last kiss and left with Logan. They entered the car silently. Patton drove to keep his mind off things. As they left the driveway, he heard the rhythmic sounds of Logan slamming his hand on the car door.

               “Logan, honey, are you alright?” Patton glanced over to him.

               “I’m a bit nervous.” Logan answered flatly, still drumming his hand. “There’s a lot of feelings going around. I’m surprisingly susceptible to that.”

               “Do you wanna clap?”

               “Absolutely not.”

               “You can, I don’t mind.”

               “I’m okay with hitting the door.”

               “Do you wanna talk?” Patton reached over and took Logan’s free hand. “Is all the abuse talk making you uncomfortable?”

               “No, I think it’s just the stress of having a child.” Logan sighed. “It’s an adjustment, but I can handle it.”

               “You’re doing great. Virgil had so much fun playing chess with you last week, I think he’s really taken to you.”

               “You’re doing an excellent job as well.” Logan squeezed his hand. “I think Virgil’s almost used to having a loving role model in his life. And he certainly likes you.”

               “That’s good.” Patton smiled. “I know it’s only been about a month, but I can’t imagine life without our dark, strange son.”

               “Me neither.” Logan looked at the floor to hide his smile. “And we won’t have to. I have every right to be confident.”

                                                                               #             #             #

               The prison looked exactly like, well a prison. The five of them had been given a room to meet privately, rather than try to use the phone things.

               Payton stared at the three of them coldly while his lawyer looked on, the effigy of stoicism. Patton anxiously pulled at his fingers and Janus, as they found out was his actual name, looked on at their opponents unfazed. And Logan, Logan met Payton’s gaze with total eye contact. He could stare until his head hurt, but he would have to do a lot more than glare to get Logan to back down.

               “So, I arranged this meeting to see if we could avoid going to court altogether.” Janus began. “Do you think you three could come to an agreement?”

               “I’m willing to offer supervised visitation rights.” Patton said looking at the table.

               “Oh, do I have your permission to see my son?” Payton sneered. “How generous, will you let me write him a letter if I’m a good boy?”

               “Payton, this isn’t funny.” Patton didn’t look up.

               “I’m not laughing. First you ruin my campaign and call me a liar, you get me investigated by my old law firm and now you’re here telling me that I can only see my own son on your terms. Do you realize that I haven’t seen him since the fire?”

               “Payton, it is not our fault that you’re losing custody of Virgil.” Logan argued. “We are just trying to do what’s best for him.”

               “Do you think our terms are fair?” Janus asked the other lawyer.

               “No,” The lawyer answered. “My client wishes to maintain full custody of his son.”

               “He’s going to prison.” Patton looked up. “He can’t keep custody.”

               “That is not a part of this case.” The lawyer retorted.

               “This is ridiculous.” Logan sighed. “If you lose, we get custody of Virgil, if you somehow win, you are still facing jail time for a long enough period to lose custody anyway. Why are you doing this?”

               “I don’t want my son being raised by you two.” Payton said, mimicking a normal tone. “I don’t trust you to provide for him, so I’d prefer if he went somewhere else, should I not be there for him.”

               Logan looked on in shock. Payton actually thought that he could beat the arson case, he even thought he could get custody of Virgil. He didn’t see any reason that he was in the wrong. He had absolutely no clue that his actions were reprehensible. How? How could he see this as acceptable?

               “Payton, do you realize what you did to Virgil was wrong?” Logan asked.

               “Well, you’re sticking to your story.” Payton scoffed. “So, I’ll say it again. I have never harmed my son. I don’t know if it was him that started that horrid lie, or if you and Patton decided that it was the best way to get a kid, but it is still a vicious lie.”

               They way Payton’s eyes lit up as he lied was horrifying. They glowed with a cruel light that said, ‘I’ve beaten you’ and he believed that he had won. He was thrilled with the prospect of dragging this out. Patton looked back at the table. Logan didn’t break eye contact.

               “We are willing to offer you supervised visitation. Virgil is going to need someone to drive him out to see you anyway.” Logan repeated Patton’s original offer.

               “We sure are going through a lot just so you can pretend to stand up to your parents.” Payton smiled at him the freak might as well have had fangs. “I will not bow to these allegations, taking any deals would be like admitting that I have abused my son. I’m not going to stand up and say that you two are fit parents while I’m not. No deal.”

               “Well,” Janus stood up. “It looks like we can’t agree on anything. I’ll see you both in court.”

               The three of them walked out into the hallway and watched as a guard took Payton back to his cell.

               “That was suboptimal.” Logan sighed. “Unfortunately, it’s nothing more than I expected.”

               “I’ll make sure to get us in with a judge that isn’t a moron.” Janus added angrily. “If Payton thinks he has a case, he can kiss my ass.”

               “Are you sure he doesn’t have a case that can beat ours?” Patton looked up from the floor.

               “Doctors say that Virgil has been abused, Virgil says that his dad hit him, police say that Payton is going to jail for felony child endangerment and arson. And there’s all the shit he did while he was practicing law. He’s losing custody, in fact I hope he wins this case, so he can lose custody again when he goes to jail.”

               “I’m worried.” Patton grabbed Logan’s hand.

               “We’re going to be ok.” Logan squeezed Patton’s hand in return. “Everything’s gonna be ok.”

               “Well, now Payton doesn’t even get supervised visits.” Janus chimed in, trying to be funny. “Trust me, this is going to be one of the easiest child removal cases in history. Payton shot himself in the foot.”

               “Payton didn’t shoot anything he doesn’t own a gun.” Logan squinted at Janus

               “It’s a metaphor honey.” Patton rested his chin on Logan’s shoulder.

               “Right.” Logan looked at the floor.

               “Well, I’m sorry I wasted your time.” Janus sighed. “You two go home and relax. Rest assured that I know what I’m doing.”

               “Sure.” Patton sighed. “When do you think the rape allegations will show up?”

               “Probably in court, but Payton is already a known liar.” Janus smiled. “He’s not going to get very far with that.”

               “Ok.” Logan nodded. “Thanks.”

               “I guess we can call you ‘No prob Bob’.” Patton smiled.

               “No, you can’t.”

Legally Swan

Chapter 5

Look at me posting two weeks in a row! And I even have a bunch of chapter 6 written, I am on a roll! Anyway, here is the next chapter of Legally Swan, let me know what you think :)

AO3: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5

She wasn’t sure where she was running too until she was inside the salon. It was roughly 10 minutes from campus, a smaller stand-alone building on the street, the outside showed age, but in a cozy homey way. It had a red brick front, cracked and washed from time, a cursive open sign with a smiley face hung on the inside of the door. Walking inside, the smell of nail polish, hair color, and rubbing alcohol immediately calmed her. The salon seemed frozen in time. Stuck in the unfortunate year of 1976, blue and white checkered tiles lay across the walls, the floor the same retro blue as the tile with a swirly design that, if stared at for too long, could make one throw up or faint. The ceiling was normal, save for the harsh florescent lights and one large globe light (it was a few shiny mirrors away from a disco ball). Emma loved all of it. No one came over to greet her, so she took it upon herself to find an available technician and sit down, hands out.

“A manicure please.” She sniffed, her heart was still hurting from the encounter with Neal and his fiancé.

“Rough day?” The technician quietly asked. Her black hair was cut into a cute pixie cut that complemented her jaw line. She had pale skin, nearly milk white, and rosy lips. Emma noticed how kind her chocolate brown eyes seemed as she began to soak Emma’s nails.

“You have no idea.” Emma sighed.

“Manicures are for getting all the bad out and keeping the good in. If you want to rant to me you can, it’ll make you feel better.” Her smile was shy and soft, warming Emma, who was in desperate need for a confidant and friend.

“Well get ready for an insanely stupid story. I’ll tell you as long as you promise to give me an honest answer on how stupid I am.” After the technician nodded, Emma began her story.

---

After about an hour or so, with her nails looking fantastic, Emma was finished speaking, now waiting for the technician to say something. The woman studied Emma’s nails, finishing up the hand massage and making sure there were no flaws.

“So, in conclusion, you followed your ex, who broke up with you because he thought you were to pretty and dumb to be with him, to Harvard. You wanted to prove to him you are pretty AND smart, and maybe he would take you back. But, instead, you find that you love the classes, met a super-hot smart British, lawyer in training, found your ex was a tool who cheated on you because you didn’t count, and has a bitchy fiance who looks like a goddess, dresses like she’s at a funeral, and has a vendetta against you for being here.”

Emma blinked. That was the perfect summary of everything that had happened.

“Um, yeah pretty much. Sound horrible hearing it from someone else.” She felt another pang of humiliation.

“Not horrible.” The woman smiled kindly, “You wanted to feel seen and loved.”

“How did you know that?” Emma asked, stunned. What was it with the random strangers she met here reading her so easily?

“I know a little bit about that. Had someone I thought I loved, he decided he didn’t love me and kicked me out. That wasn’t the worst part though! I could handle him making me leave, but he kept my dog.” She turned her sad gaze to a picture frame on the counter, it was a picture of a little golden retriever puppy.

“That’s horrible.” Emma glanced down at Henry, who was curled up in her purse, content to watch the goings on and his person. “I can’t imagine what I would do without Henry.”

The technician smiled softly, wistfully and agreed. “It’s been nine months and it still hurts to think about my poor pup with him. I hope he’s being treated right.”

“I’m so sorry, that is the worst. I’m Emma, by the way.” Emma introduced herself. Realizing she still didn’t know this woman’s name.

“It’s nice to meet you Emma, I’m Mary Margaret.”

---

They talked for a while, Mary Margaret decided to give him a full spa treatment—besides the manicure she was getting a facial and pedicure—so they could talk more. Emma felt like she had found a close friend in Mary Margaret, someone she could confide in and laugh with. It was in the middle of them talking about Emma’s encounter with Killian that a UPS delivery man walked in the door. The change in Mary Margaret was immediate. She stiffened and tried to hide behind her hair, seemingly forgetting her pixie cut. She must have had long hair at one point, and Emma made a note to ask her that story later. When she realized that hiding wasn’t working, she turned her back to face him and made herself busy sorting through her workstation, much to Emma’s bemusement.

In the meantime, she studied Mary Margaret’s reaction, she was definitely trying to hide from the delivery man. The man was glancing around the salon as he waited for signatures. When he saw Mary Margaret, he straitened up and a hopeful look came into his eyes. With a quick look at the receptionist, who was lagging on the signature, too busy on her phone to do much, he walked towards them. Emma was fascinated by the scene unfolding in front of her, she felt like she was watching a movie, on the edge of her seat to see what happened next.

“Mary Margaret!” The man greeted happily. “It’s been a long time, over a year, right?”

“David.” Mary Margaret greeted quietly, nervously moving to tuck her hair behind her ear, and blushing when she realized it was too short to do so. “How are you?”

“I’m great! Picking up extra shifts at the animal shelter still, and delivering packages in the meantime. How are you? Your hair is shorter than last time I saw you.” He paused, slight worry crossing his face. “Not that it doesn’t look good, I mean really you look amazing, not that you don’t always look amazing. I mean to say it’s a good look on you, not there there’s a look that’s bad on you, and I see that you’re still doing nails and hair. Oh, that’s not a bad think though! You were always fantastic at it, I just thought I’d see how you’re doing and say that it’s really good to see you, and now that I know you’re here maybe we could catch up sometime.” Emma could see all the nerves fluttering around him as he stumbled over his words.

“That would be um, yeah maybe sometime soon.”  Mary Margaret blushed again and looked at her work station. The receptionist called for David, finally having signed for the packages, and he somewhat reluctantly said his goodbyes and left.

Emma and Mary Margaret were silent for a moment. Then Emma broke it. “Soooo, what’s the story there?”

“No story!” Mary Margaret blurted out. “I mean I’ve known David since I was in eighth grade and we were friends for a little bit. Why? Did it look like there was a story?”

Emma chuckled at the nerves Mary Margaret was showing. “It definitely looks like there’s a story. He totally likes you, and you obviously like him. What’s holding you back?”

“It’s a really long story.” Mary Margaret started to brush it off, until she saw Emma’s skeptical expression and raised eyebrow. “Fine, we still have ten minutes left on your facial.”

It turned out to be a great story. Mary Margaret had met David when she was in eighth grade, right after he had moved to the area, and they had taken to each other quickly; though not before Mary Margaret had punched him in the face for making fun of her. They had started dating in tenth grade, when they both finally admitted how in love they were with the other. Unfortunately, David had an overbearing father that loved to control all aspects of his life, so, their senior year, he had forced David to breakup with Mary Margaret to date someone from a respectable background. David and Kathryn had dated for a few years, then gotten engaged. Mary Margaret had been devastated, naively thinking that David would jump ship at 18 to go back to her. When she heard the news, she had cried, gotten drunk and ended up sleeping with a good friend of David’s. She still couldn’t look Victor in the eyes after that.

David and Kathryn had been married for about five years before the gossip mill started turning about them not having kids and never being in public together. However, it wasn’t until their seventh year of marriage (nine years of being together), that they officially separated and divorced. Mary Margaret had always held out hope that true love, as she put it, would prevail. But it never did. Now whenever they saw each other there was this stilted awkward conversation, both desperately in love with the other yet so afraid to say it. The latter was an observation on Emma’s part, Mary Margaret convinced that David had no feelings for her anymore. She had met Lance three years before, not long after accepting that nothing would ever happen with David, and tried to move on with her life. When she saw David in town, she did everything she could to hide from him, hence him not having seen her for a year. Turned out that Mary Margaret was very stealthy.

Lance was everything she thought she deserved, and that wasn’t a good thing. Mary Margaret had grown up with a harsh step mother that belittled her and tried to control her. After the heartbreak that was David, a lot of her hold out confidence had vanished, she had found Lance, a man that played on her insecurities, verbally abused her on a daily basis, isolated her from friends and family, and when he got bored, threw her out of their house. So, there she was, without love, without family, without many friends, and without her precious dog.

Emma listened to all of this (the story well over 10 minutes by the end) with an abject sorrow and fascination. If she was being honest with herself (something that only seemed to happened when it wasn’t about herself) she found it much like the soap operas she would watch with her mother. So many interconnecting stories, all very dramatic, but in this case, no less real. She felt empathy for Mary Margaret, and felt a kindred bond. Both of them had gone through a lot, and now were trying to make themselves better. When Mary Margaret mentioned that she wished Lance would take her back, if only so she wouldn’t be so lonely at times, Emma spoke up.

“Don’t sell yourself short Mary Margaret, you deserve more than that kind of life. You deserve happiness with someone who loves you for you.” She wasn’t sure if that helped as Mary Margaret immediately teared up.

“Thank you, and don’t forget Emma.” She paused to compose herself. “You deserve the same. There’s always hope for a better future.”

---

Emma was thinking about that later that week. It was Friday night and she had gone through all of her classes with nerves and piles of homework to show for it. Her desk was currently piled high with her textbooks and books borrowed from the school library to study more. ‘You deserve the same’, Mary Margaret’s voice echoed as she reflected on her week. She knew deep down that she was right, and maybe that meant letting Neal go, but she still had to try right? She owed it to herself to keep going and to keep trying to be the best she could be.

Her phone rang on her nightstand. The cell itself was a standard phone, but the case was something else. Ana had given her the case for her birthday, saying Emma’s phone needed more personality. It was pink, fuzzy and sparkly. Honestly, Emma wasn’t quite sure where Ana had gotten it, but it must have cost a lot, but it made her smile when she saw it. The name on the screen made her smile even more, it was Rapunzel.

“Hey! I’ve missed you guys this week!” Emma said after she answered.

“Emma!!!” She heard at least three different voices screaming her name.

“Guess where we are?” Ana cried; her excitement almost visible through face-time. Emma couldn’t tell where they were, besides it being a clothing store.

“Where? Shopping?”

“I’m getting MARRIED!” Rapunzel screeched, coming into view on the phone in a white gown. She was jumping up and down so much that she ended up falling off the pedestal with a loud thump.

“What?” Emma asked, surprised. “To whom?”

“Oh my gosh, his name is Eugene and he is the most adorable guy ever. Emma you will love him!” Rapunzel was getting up off the floor, with some difficulty due to the tight mermaid style dress. “I met him like a month ago and he was this ‘bad boy’ going by Flynn, but he is the biggest sweetheart!”

“Wow, that’s crazy.” Emma wasn’t sure what to say, she didn’t even know who this guy was and Rapunzel had only known him for a little bit. Worry for her friend temporarily replaced her own issues.

“Don’t worry.” Ana whispered into the phone after Rapunzel went to try on a new dress. “I totally had one of my friends to a background check on him, Kristoff knows this guy who knows a cop. He came up clean, Eugene did that is. Kristoff did too, but well this isn’t about him. And I put him through my tests. You know the ones where I make R like an hour late to a date or call with and emergency to see how he would react. He passed! He even let R and I drag him shopping, he sat in the mall for like 3 hours for her. I had to have a talk with R because there was no way I was going to let her marry a man she just met, not after my Hans debacle, and of course you remember me telling you about my sister and how mad she was! Yikes. But I promise he’s good! Besides, if he’s not we know how to get rid of him and you can be my lawyer! Won’t that be fun?” By the end of Ana’s monologue Emma was laughing. She had missed her friends fiercely and hearing them made everything better.

She talked to both of them for a while longer, helping critique the wedding dressed and catching up on their lives. When she hung up, she laid on her bed a stared at the ceiling. Not for the first time, loneliness swelled in her heart. She was thousands of miles away from her mother, from her friends, from her life. She tried not to cry while thinking about her family, she had had to fight for it, but somehow, she got one. What was she doing so far away from it? Then she thought about the past week and how much she was enjoying her classes, sure she met a few bumps in the road, but what was that compared to doing something she knew in her soul would be a part of her life. While trying to dispel the melancholy she heard a soft knock came on her door.

Emma curiously moved to the door and opened it. On the other side stood a young woman in muted colors. Her hair was blonde and pin straight, she had kind blue eyes that gave away the nerves she was feeling, she wore a gray Harvard sweatshirt and simple black leggings. Shifting her hips, she opened and closed her mouth a few times before going for it.

“Hi, are you um, are you Emma Swan?” She asked shyly, her eyes moved to a point out of Emma’s vision, before returning to hers.

“Yeah, that’s me.” Emma responded.

“Hi, yeah, I’m um Ashley.”

“Hi.” Emma was confused as to why she was at her door. She had met a few of the girls in the dorm but they were all busy with classes, so there wasn’t much of a chance to socialize with them.

“So, with it being the new semester and all, a few of us wanted to get together and have a party. You know, one more before the year gets crazy.” She laughed, but it was a high pitch nervous laughter that set Emma on edge, especially when her eyes once again moved to a point out of Emma’s field of vision.

“A party? That sounds fun.” Emma said slowly, wondering what was going on.

“Yeah, it’s going to be very fun. And well I wanted to invite you. I know it’s your first year and I wanted to make you feel welcome.” Ashley stumbled over her words a bit, her eyes darting between Emma and the unknown point. “It’s going to be tomorrow and well, here’s the address.” She shoved a piece of paper into Emma’s hand.

“Um, yeah that sounds fun. I’ll definitely be there.” She was still wary about the whole thing, but a party might help her get a little bit of the homesickness gone.

“Oh!” Ashely paused and gulped. “I almost forgot one thing.”

“Yeah?” Emma’s lie detector was flashing red in her mind.

“It’s a costume party!” Ashley tried for excitement but her voice squeaked out, breaking. “You know, something to really help everyone let loose before the whole semester.”

“A costume party?” Emma echoed.

“Yup, so have fun with a costume, I’ll see you tomorrow night.” Ashley practically ran away as soon as the sentence finished.

Emma took a moment to take in what just happened. She leaned casually on her door frame and moved her head minutely to see what Ashley had been glancing at, or in this case, who. Tamara stood at the end of the hall, smirking towards Emma, a trembling Ashely next to her. Emma pretended to look at the address on the slip of paper while her mind raced. Then all at once everything calmed and a grim determination settled in her. She wasn’t going to be put off by this, she was going to show them she didn’t care what they thought of her

“Fucker Shot Me”: an HYH recap

A day after Haqqani turns himself over to the Americans, the Americans are turning him over to G’ulom. Saul and Haqqani pull up to Ghazi Stadium, where G’ulom has been holding the Taliban fighters.

G’ulom is standing outside, in a cape, like he’s Andre Leon Fucking Talley (to be clear, we stan). Haqqani says he’s ready and Saul gets out of the car to give another speech that G’ulom is definitely not listening to about Justice and Due Process and Integrity. G’ulom fulfills his end of the bargain, releasing the prisoners, who all make a beeline for Haqqani because, well, he’s the Emir! Saul warns G’ulom that if he doesn’t treat Haqqani with respect, “your world will explode.” So that’s coming. 

Saul goes back to Kabul station and Mike and Jenna have something to tell him.

Jenna: Remember how yesterday I had one job, which was to get Carrie on the plane to Germany? Saul: Yeah… Jenna: Well, I fucked that up. Mike: Carrie was photographed at the airport getting in a car with everyone’s favorite Russian hunk. Yevgeny Gromov! Can you believe it? Saul: Yes. I mean, no! How surprising. Mike: They could be halfway to Moscow by now. Saul: First, chill. Second, doubtful. Carrie is all about saving her friend Max. She’s probably somewhere in Pakistan. Mike: This is an outrage. Rules! I must follow them! I’m referring this to the FBI. Saul: Whatever. Send me a text or something when you find her ok byeeeeee

Carrie and Yevgeny are somewhere in Pakistan, it turns out. They’re listening to the radio, which is such a quaint thing for two lovers frenemies to do together. The radio report is about Haqqani turning himself in, and they get to talking about the CIA’s working theory that Carrie is a traitor who told her Russian handler—Yevgeny—about the president’s helicopter so that he could alert Haqqani who could fire an RPG! Phew. That’s a lot. They’re both like “yeah that didn’t happen” but also realize the, like, component of weirdness of the situation since they’re off on this road trip together and look extra double super suspicious now. “Ironic,” Carrie says while gazing out the window.

They pull up to a checkpoint. Yevgeny gets out of the car because he is In Charge. He approaches two guys, who are actually his homies, inquiring about where “the American” (Max) is. They have a line on him.

Carrie and Yevgeny’s next stop is a small Pakistani village. Again Yevgeny gets out of the car and instructs Carrie to stay. But we all know (and he should too by now!) that if you tell Carrie not to do something, she turns into a four-year-old child who instantly must do that thing. Plus her spidey senses are tingling. Maybe she recognizes some of these structures? She hops out of the car and ends up at a gravesite. Rows upon rows of graves with the year “2014” etched across the bottom. Uh oh. A few split-second flashbacks later and… yep, these are the graves of the people she dropped a bomb on in “The Drone Queen.”

Carrie: Quit fucking with me. Yevgeny: Heh? Carrie: Quit 👏 fucking 👏 with 👏 me  Yevgeny: I’m not fucking with you. Carrie: Coolio, so we just happened to end up at the village I decimated four years ago in the event that probably more than any other haunts my waking nights? Yevgeny: What do you think happens after you decimate a village with a bomb, Carrie? We come in, help them rebuild the mosque, and develop contacts. It’s not a coincidence we’re here. But I’m not fucking with you. Carrie: I’m changing the subject now. What did the imam say? Yevgeny: He knows where Max is. Come on.

Saul, resident hottie Scott Ryan, and Not Martha Boyd are gathered around a conference table in Kabul station, talking to Linus and his homies back at the White House. They’re all very concerned that Haqqani’s trial will be a sham, he’ll be put up against a wall and shot, and that will mean more violence and more instability, and certainly not an end to “The Forever War.” Not Martha mentions that the lead judge is a woman she knows from some embassy events and she’s fair and independent so they can probably influence her (umm… what?)! Their meeting is interrupted by Hayes, who’s apparently just wandering the halls of the West Wing searching for something to do. He’s generally displeased this is all taking place behind his back, but no one thinks he can do anything, so it’s understandable. He flatly denies Saul’s request to declassify some intelligence that could prove Haqqani is innocent, asks again for the “action plan” to kill more brown people, and storms out.

Back in Carrie/Yevgeny land, Yevgeny continues to pry about the drone strike. He says again he didn’t put two and two together, then proceeds to ask actual personal questions like, “so is that why you left the CIA?” Carrie explains her mental state in season four, which is not something she’s ever done, but it’s interesting nonetheless. She catches herself at the end again questioning whether he’s being truthful or not, because if he is, she doesn’t know why. Poor Carrie has no concept of a personal relationship that’s not transactional.

They eventually arrive at the house where Max is being kept. Again, Yevgeny does all the talking. Carrie storms in to find Max, sprawled out on a mattress, one arm still handcuffed to the bed frame. Immediately she springs into nurturing, concerned Carrie, which is not a hat she wears often (side note: when will Carrie wear another hat?). Max says he’s fine but the narsty wound they show in close-up confirms otherwise. He explains that he doesn’t have the flight recorder anymore but he didn’t want to make a big deal about it, lest it suggest the flight recorder was not just some random red boxy thing. “You did good,” Carrie assures him.

Unfortunately, their touching moment ends right there because a few trucks full of Taliban soldiers pull up to the house. They uncuff Max and then cart him off. Yevgeny looks on helpless. Carrie tells Max she will find him. Then she goes off on the dude who let them in. Yevgeny has to physically restrain her. He looks in her eyes, tells her he’ll take care of this while Carrie attempts to calm her breathing. Did anyone else get the indication he has definitely done this before? He was too effective for that to be a rookie attempt. Anyhoozles, Yevgeny finally gets the location where they took Max, so it’s off to stop #3.

At Dover Air Force Base, Hayes is asking Linus for his unconditional loyalty, which is always something you want a president to be asking for. He’s really miffed that people are going behind his back but Linus says something like “we gotta be in the information flow, man.” Hayes repeats the phrase back, and you definitely get the indication he’s the type of person who uses words and phrases wrong all the time without realizing. Again, he’s the president! Don’t you feel safe?

Oh, the reason they’re at the base is because Hayes had an empty casket shipped back on Air Force One for a photo op. And surprise, surprise! G’ulom came over too. I’m sure they’ll have tons to talk about.

Elsewhere in Pakistan, Saul is grasping at straws and goes to Bunny’s home. Tasneem is there, because they have no secrets between them. Saul pleads for their help coming up with a way to help Haqqani. If they don’t, there will be another war, right at their border, and that’s not great for America, but they’re 7000 miles away. It’s really not great for Pakistan, because it’ll be right on their doorstep. Bunny is having none of it. The Americans play hot and cold with Pakistan, asking for their help whenever it suits them and in the interim killing their citizens, withholding aid, and generally being massive dicks. Enough already!

Saul sees himself out, but Tasneem surprisingly comes knocking on his car window. She’ll help him. Why? She doesn’t want to watch the world burn. This is a surprise because I thought that was Tasneem’s defining quality.

Carrie and Yevgeny arrive at stop #3, which is a field just above where Max is being kept. Carrie scopes out the house. It’s barely being guarded, but who knows how long that’ll last. She decides to phone a friend, but Saul never answers his damn phone. So she decides to phone a Single White Female.

Jenna: Carrie? What the hell? You made me look like an idiot. Carrie: Made you? Lol ok. Anyway, please listen. Mike: What are you doing, Carrie? Carrie: Oh, great, you again. I found Max. Y’know, that thing you guys were doing anything in your power to accomplish? I did it in like 12 hours. Mike: Who are you with? Carrie: ...Breezing by that question. Anyway, here are the coordinates. Will you call special ops? Max is in critical condition, I don’t know how much longer he can make it.  Mike: Do you have any idea how much trouble you’re in? Carrie: Do you have any idea how much I don’t give a fuck? Just call special ops. Bye. [click] Mike: You are now a fugitive, your case is with the FBI, Carrie…? CARRIE?

In the Oval Office, Hayes and G’ulom meet for an “unofficial summit.” Hayes reads a headline on his iPad that declares “The Two Presidents,” which… is certainly a true thing about them. Hayes hems and haws about going back to war with the Taliban, and G’ulom says some manipulative stuff about the US being all-powerful fighters who could totally put them away in two to three weeks. Hayes doesn’t even know he’s being manipulated though and plays right into G’ulom’s hand. He eats this shit up! He loves hearing about American dominance and how he could be the steward of it. If it means murdering even more brown people, that’s just a bonus!

Saul and his new BFF Tasneem arrive at the home of the lead judge for Haqqani’s trial and plead with her that he’s innocent. She asks for literally any evidence and their response is “just trust us, two perfect strangers who barged into your house late at night.” She’s highly skeptical until Tasneem pulls up a news article about the RPG that hit one of the Taliban caravans back in episode two. That was meant for Haqqani, because he wanted peace and the ISI didn’t, and he still agreed to the peace deal. This is apparently enough to sway her, so she agrees to a continuance for one week while Saul and Tasneem figure out what to do.

Carrie is taking a light nap in the back seat of Yevgeny’s truck when he wakes her. Some more cars have arrived at the house where Max is. She peers through the binoculars to see Jalal Haqqani rolling up with his crew. Shit. Jalal enters the room where Max is being held and asks him who shot down the helicopters. “What helicopters?” Max cooly replies. Max 4 President!

Above, Carrie is panicked and phones Mike again. Mike admits that no, special ops isn’t coming. It’s too risky, they haven’t scouted the site, etc. Carrie, totally missing the point, offers to scout the site herself. The issue, of course, isn’t with the site, it’s with Carrie herself. She’s a rogue agent, calling from a Russian sat phone. Who else is even listening in on this call? Carrie says, verbatim, “I don’t underestimate the difficulty.” Whenever Carrie goes searching for euphemisms (“That is a mischaracterization!”) you know she’s in deep shit and that she knows she’s in deep shit. She pleads with Mike that Max is one of ours and we can’t just abandon him. He says they’re doing all they can, which is of course a lie. This must all feel eerily reminiscent of Brody and Tehran for her, a slow-motion car crash she’s powerless to stop.

In need of something, anything, to do, Carrie asks Yevgeny for his gun. She’s going to scout the site herself, at least see if Max is still alive. Yevgeny reluctantly agrees but vows to book it if she gets in trouble, which is also of course a lie.

In Kabul, Saul visits Haqqani in his cell, which is also eerily reminiscent of the cage they kept Brody in in season three. He tells him of the continuance he secured and Haqqani is like, “bro, why are you doing all this?” Saul says it’s because he’s innocent. Haqqani knows the truth though: after forty of years of war, none of them are still innocent.

In the court room, one by one the judges file in. The last and presiding one, however, is not the woman Tasneem and Saul met the night prior. That’s right, G’ulom pulled the ol’ trial judge switcheroo! This new guy is definitely not ordering a continuance. He gives a speech about the pain and suffering Haqqani has inflicted on thousands of people. How he killed both presidents. He sentences him to death. Saul looks on horrified. He calls Linus, who informs him that Hayes has asked for new perspectives on Afghanistan, and John Zabel is in the Oval Office meeting with him as they speak. They are extremely disgusted, so we know John Zabel must suck. Outside the courthouse, crowds have gathered in celebration of the announcement of Haqqani’s inevitable execution.

In the Oval Office, Linus interrupts the meeting between Hayes and John Zab—oh my god, it’s Hugh Dancy! Ok, ok, we all knew it would be Hugh Dancy, but it’s still exciting! He has a terrible haircut, awful facial hair, and gives off general vibes of hot evilness. He makes a few incredibly racist remarks, praises Hayes’ quick action in avenging Beau Bridge’s death, and talks about next steps. Linus comes thisclose to doing a Jim Halpert on The Office impression.

A few Taliban soldiers come into Max’s room and drag him up. He groans and yells. Outside, Carrie, gun in hand, makes her way to the perimeter of the house. They’ve carried Max into the courtyard and are pulling an orange jumpsuit on him. He screams in protest, doing everything he can to resist. Jalal stands in front, camera and tripod at the ready. Carrie watches in horror, beginning to put the pieces together. They pull Max’s glasses off and she pulls her pistol up, ready to shoot.

Suddenly, Yevgeny grabs her from behind, his hand over her mouth, muzzling her cries. He puts her against a wall (why is this so sexual??) and stares into her eyes. “No,” he whipsers. For once, she listens.

The Miys, Ch. 24

The following morning, I slid Arantxa a mug of coffee as she sat next to me with a groan. “How do I feel even more tired than I did when I went to bed last night?” she grumbled before making a valiant attempt to drown herself in the hot beverage.

I raised my matching mug in a silent toast. “I know, right? I couldn’t sleep for anything.  I have the big sister of the migraine I went to bed with last night, to boot.  I had to ask Miys to get a batch of analgesic patches from medical, which turned out to be a good idea because I am apparently not the only one.  Xiomara looked at me like I single-handedly ended world hunger when I told her.”

She grunted before coming up from her coffee for air and a refill. “We are all under a significant amount of stress.  Everyone seems a little dazed today, even Councillor Hodenson, if that helps.”

“No way,” I murmured in disbelief, looking around.  Sure enough, Grey was standing with their data screen up, but staring off into the distance over it. “I didn’t think anything could get to them.  At least I don’t feel as bad knowing they’re rattled, too,” I shook my head, groaning slightly as the pain in it intensified.

I didn’t even realize I had closed my eyes until they flew open at the sound of something being set in front of me.  “I swear, for someone who likes to cook so much, you sure forget to eat an awful lot,” the familiar voice of Zach Khan trickled in my ear as I stared at a plate of scrambled eggs piled high and topped with salsa and cheese.  “Your sister said your favorite breakfast is huevos rancheros, but this is the best I could do with what they brought in.”

Pushing down the rolling nausea in my stomach, I took a tentative bite.  As much as I knew he was right, migraines always made me sick.  I just reminded myself that dry-heaving was worse than throwing up and forced myself to swallow.  “And everyone calls me a mother hen,” I tried to joke.  “Thanks, Zach.”

“No prob,” he waved off. “I already took something to Derek and Tyche.  She said she thinks she’s coming down with something at the worst possible time, so she asked me bring you something to eat while she tries to cool off in the shower.  I would have grabbed you something, too, but I didn’t know what,” the last part was directed at my friend, who was showing heretofore unknown talent in chugging scalding beverages at this point.

She paused long enough to shake her head. “I don’t eat breakfast, but thank you.  Once I am more awake, I will find something, I promise.”

After throwing a scowl at her for not eating something, I turned back to Zach. “What are you even doing up already?”

He shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep. Plus, someone had to be on hand to set up the headsets for the drone pilots.  They’re pretty bootstrap since our host had nothing like them on hand, but we’ve got them working.  The pilots report some nausea and dizziness from prolonged use, but that’s pretty standard with prolonged VR use, which is essentially what we’ve got them doing.  Pranav was going to ask Derek to take a look at them, but Maverick and I pretty much put the kibosh on that until he’s recovered from yesterday.”

“How’s he doing?” I asked, worried.

“Eh, he ate, so that’s good. I took him as much water as I could carry, and he’s holed up in the farthest corner of one of the sleeping areas, spoiling your cat.  Conor brought up some of his modelling clay, so he’s got that, Mac, and a few ice packs.” A huge wait I wasn’t previously aware of fell off my chest at the information.

Arantxa’s face made a sudden appearance from her fourth – fifth? – cup of coffee. “Conor was here?” she asked excitedly.

As I smothered a grin, Zach shook his head. “Negative. He was on Level Three, where Miys met him to pick up the clay. Security is still super tight until we find out who or what caused the sensor damage.”

My poor, lovesick friend deflated at the news, and I was torn between laughing and crying to see how much she missed our friendly giant.  “We were supposed to have a date, today,” she grumbled.

“Nuh uh!” I cried, echoed by Zach’s “No way!”

She nodded. “We were going to visit BioLab 2, and he was going to teach me to swim.”

“Uh, Rants, you already know how to swim,” I pointed out.

“He doesn’t know that,” she declared imperiously.  “It was the best I could do, since I have absolutely no help.” The last was accompanied by a playful glare.

“Wait wait wait,” Zach held up his hands. “Did Conor know this was supposed to be a date?  Deets! I need deets!”

“Are you going to give me dating advice?” she asked eagerly.

“Who? ME!?” he pointed at himself. “You’ve got to be kidding.  I’m pining over the Ace Ace over there, which is the dumbest thing ever for a bisexual horndog, so I’m the worst person to ask for advice.”

“Are all bisexuals disasters?” she asked skeptically.

“Yes,” Zach and I replied in unison before glancing at each other and laughing.  

I had to stop when the small man in my head found a bigger hammer to pound my skull with. “Ugh, I need to wait until my pain meds kick in before I have the rest of this conversation. Y’all have fun, though,” I waved at them as I stood.

“No, no, nope,” the programmer gently pushed me back in my chair. “Tyche and Derek both insisted you eat all that before I let you out of my sight.  We’ll change the subject, but you have to eat.”

“All of it?” I asked with horror before looking down at my plate. A mountain of eggs stared back at me.

“Four ounces of eggs, one ounce of cheese, an ounce of salsa.  Roughly two hundred calories, Tyche’s orders. And she scares me more than you do – I’m pretty sure she actually could kill me with one eyebrow – so you gotta eat that.”

I grumbled and started forcing down the eggs as Arantxa continued her impressive performance at breathing coffee and Zach filled us in on everything that happened while we were asleep.  I only understood about a quarter of what he said, just enough to understand that we were in orbit around one of Eenie’s moons, and in ten hours would be moving to the next for additional materials.  Also, lunch would apparently be vegetarian. Finally, I finished my eggs (much to Zach’s relief) and was free to hunt down Xiomara and another analgesic patch while I waited for my food to settle and coffee to kick in.

When I found her, in the same place I left her the night before, she didn’t seem to be in any better shape than I was.  She sighed gratefully at the sight of the coffee I brought her – a near repeat of the night before – before taking in the pinched look I knew sat around my eyes and just asking “Stress?”

“Yup,” I confirmed. “But life carries on, I’ll be okay once everything calms down.”

“I know the feeling,” she sighed after a sip of coffee.  “Unfortunately, it’s ‘hurry up and wait’ right now.  All the pilots other than Maverick and Evan are taking turns piloting drones while those two crash until further notice.”

“Short notice,” I observed as I gestured to where Maverick was hovering around the jury-rigged controls to the Ark.

Xiomara groaned. “He has decided the Ark is his ‘baby’ and doesn’t want anyone to even come close to the controls until the sensors are fixed and the Miys take back over.” A brief scowl was shot in his direction before she took another swig of steaming caffeine.  She made a remarkably good impression of Mac’s look of satisfaction as she enjoyed her coffee.

“Have you had a chance to talk to Pranav about the sensors?” I asked, hoping she would understand what I meant.

“Mmm,” she hummed enthusiastically. “Yes, I have.  Two of the pilots on file are currently in genetic surgery bays, about halfway through treatment.  The other ten, we’re looking into alibis.  There’s an incredible amount of metadata collected by the systems, so Pranav is personally going through that.  It’ll take a few days, but we want to be completely clear rather than chasing rabbits.”

“If there’s so much data, how do we not know who destroyed the back up sensors,” I asked quietly, mostly thinking out loud.

“Temporary systemic blackouts from all common areas to the location of the sensors,” she muttered unhappily. “Tracing that is Zach’s next job, and once Mr. Okafor is recovered and has checked the VR rigs, we’re hoping he can take over as primary.”

“Normally, I would be incredibly defensive at the idea of Derek being expected to do so much, but honestly I don’t know how anyone will be able to stop him once he finds out that someone played jiggery-pokery in his playground.  He’ll do it anyway, so I’m glad he’s at least allowed to this time.” When she raised an eyebrow at me in question, I waved her off. “Nothing major. He may have hacked the medical database to make sure the evergreens that Conor Mac Maoilir decided to spread all over the ship for winter holidays wouldn’t mess with people’s allergies? He was grounded from my cat for a week, and I made him fix the security weakness, I swear!” I explained hastily when she gaped in horror.

“You are telling me a seventeen-year-old hacked an alien data system for a medical bay that we have no training for, just to make sure a bunch over oversized shrubs wouldn’t make anyone sneeze!?” She demanded.

“Like I said, he fixed it?” I responded sheepishly.  “To be fair, that’s part of the reason Pranav trusts his skills so much.  Every programmer and network security specialist on this ship, including Noah, can’t figure out how to keep him out of literally anything. Fortunately, he generally does it just to see if he can, or because he’s looking for something very specific. Since he isn’t hurting anyone, and actually usually does it to avoid hurting people, it’s really difficult to convince him not to do it.”

She just shook her head. “Good thing he’s a good kid.  That’s… it would be horrifying if it wasn’t just incredible.”

“Right?” I asked in agreement. “On another topic, how’s Grey holding up?  I saw them just staring into space earlier, which is unusual.”

“Grey is unusual in general,” she shrugged. “People are more your thing than mine.  Why don’t you go check on our fellow Councillor, and I’ll ride herd on the pilots?”

I smirked before I could stop myself. “Coward,” I accused in a teasing tone.

“People shooting at me, piloting in wild new frontiers, I’m good.  People? Not so much,” she shrugged.  “That’s why I’m Safety and Security, and you’re People.”

“Human Resources and Social Engagement,” I scowled.

“Right. People. Go people at Grey, see if they’re okay,” she shooed.  Softer, she tilted her head. “Seriously.  This is pretty much their show right now, so we really need them to be okay.”

I took a deep breath before nodding.  The second painkiller patch had made a significant dent in my migraine, downgrading it all the way to a screaming headache.  I could work with that.  I’d worked with worse.  “If I’m not back in two hours, send Noah.  Or my sister, if she’s feeling better.”

Grey startled as I gently touched their elbow. “Grey.  I’m sorry for touching you – I know you don’t like it – but I’ve called your name ten times. I even tried waving my hands in front of you.  Are you okay?”

They shook their head like they were waking up before pushing their glasses up. “My apologies, Councillor Reid. I have had difficulty focusing today.  My assurances that I will endeavor to correct this.”

“Whoa,” I stood back, alarmed. “Grey. Since when do you call me ‘Councillor’?  And you never have difficulty focusing.  Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I am only distracted, I promise. I admit I am distressed by the lack of materials for repairing the sensors.  The drones are bringing in a satisfying amount of elements to replenish what we have used by being on board, but less than a tenth of what we need for the sensors. It is frustrating that we have no data we can use to narrow our search to only locations that would yield what we need.”

“So, what do we need?” I asked, happy to play rubber duck if it would assist my friend.

“Silica, mostly, for the necessary optical fibers. Iron, aluminum, gold or at least silver for plating and wires,” they rubbed their eyes tiredly before replacing their ever-present glasses.

“Okay, that makes sense,” I nodded.  I was mildly concerned that I actually understood the majority of what they were saying. “So what are we not locating?”

“Iron,” Grey replied.  “This particular moon is very iron poor, it turns out.”

“Iron,” I repeated. “Wasn’t Mars iron rich?  That’s why it was red, right?”

“Correct, but atmospheric neon would also cause a planet or moon to be red if the atmosphere was charged.”

“Still, it narrows down the search, so that may help,” I pointed out.  “What else?”

“Aluminum, and before you ask, aluminum does not have a distinct color that is observable from atmosphere,” they glanced at me knowingly. “It is white or grey, and in cases where it is found in the form of bauxite, it is blue or green.  Several minerals and atmospheric gases create the same color.  Additionally, it would take significant concentrations to cause it to be visible from orbit.”

I shrugged.  “Worth a try. So, next question: What can you do, right now, to improve any of this?”

They let out the most defeated sigh I think I ever heard. “Honestly, nothing.  All I am doing is worrying.  I feel there is something that I am missing.”

“Honestly, it doesn’t sound like it to me,” I assured them.  “Have any of your researchers come up with any other ideas?”

“They have not,” Grey conceded.

I smiled. “In that case, ask Miys for something to help you sleep – I know you don’t like medication, but you’re exhausted,” I cut off their rebuttal. “Even the finest computer needs to turn off sometimes.  And you are decidedly not a computer, so you need rest even more.”

They blinked at me owlishly. “Is this what Councillor Kalloe refers to as you being a ‘mother hen’?”

“Bingo,” I winked. “You get used to it, I promise. Now go. Sleep.”

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Back to the MCU Part 2: The X-men

I’m absolutely looking forward to Dark Phoenix and New Mutants—I’ve loved or really liked all of the X-men movies except two and I’m sad to see the franchise end—but I’m also looking forward to the X-men joining the MCU. I was skeptical of the fan insistence that Spider-man would be inherently better just because Homecoming was part of the MCU and I was proven wrong, but I’m still not sure that the X-men going home will be a magical improvement. The Fox-films aren’t perfect, but they’re not the worthless dreck a lot of people make them out to be either and it’ll be a shame to lose all the good things about them (unfortunately along with The Gifted in all likelihood). Still, this is what’s happening and I’ll always be excited for new X-men adventures: they’re my favorite comics and I love seeing them brought to life! In a perfect world, we’d get a new X-men TV series (heck, both a live-action one and a new animated series) because there are just too many characters to explore over a trilogy or two of movies, but for these purposes, I’m going to assume they’ll only be doing X-films.

Full spoilers for the Fox-verse and MCU up to this point....

X-men Origins How should mutants appear in the MCU? This is super-simple: they just do.

There’s always been a handful around, like Xavier, Magneto (their ages and Erik’s Holocaust experience can be explained by saying they knew a mutant who could rejuvenate others), Apocalypse, Shadow King, etc., but mutants are just now starting to appear en masse. They’re a new and mysterious global phenomenon. Importantly, they’re a natural evolution and the most “cause” that should ever be given is the real-life explanation for evolutionary mutation: a reaction a hostile environment. Sure, you could say Thanos’ Snap created that type of environmental condition, but no one should be responsible for making mutation happen. This is something I strongly believe has to hold true: mutants can’t be created in a lab somewhere or Snapped back into existence “wrong” or have their X-genes turned on by Scarlet Witch or something. If anything like that happens, mutants automatically lose their “we’re natural, normal, and we’re supposed to be here” argument. It’s why the Inhumans aren’t really a great substitute for the mutants-as-minorities metaphor: even though the present-day Inhumans were born that way, they can still be traced back to experiments the Kree conducted on humans. Mutants, however, are completely normal and exactly what they’re supposed to be. Also, it’s that lack of an “explanation” that scares normal people and separates mutants from the other superheroes in the MCU. Bigots can write off a radioactive spider bite or a gamma accident as powers that happened to “those poor people,” but the X-men showing up and saying “this is who we are naturally, our powers come from the core of our being, and we’re the future?” That scares them and brings out the hate. That last point is just as much a source of fear as the others: just look at how white supremacists in real life scream about “being replaced” by Jewish people, Muslims, immigrants, etc.

I’ve been asked on Twitter how the common MCU people would be able to tell that the X-men are any different from the Avengers (Thor vs. Storm was the example I was given), and the answer’s in the characters. Storm and the rest of the team would absolutely self-identify as mutants, feeling they shouldn’t have to pass as aliens/accidents for an easier life (in addition to their stated goal of proving that mutants can be trusted). With that pride and the insistence that mutants are the future, bigoted reactions would mimic LGBTQIA hate: "Why should we cater to a minority? They should be committed/cured, not supported, coddled, and allowed to continue living in their delusions,” etc. People's kids being mysteriously powered is also a much scarier concept than an alien the public barely interacts with (Ragnarok having civilians know about Thor and Jane’s relationship status still rings false to me, unless Darcy’s been blogging). Thor's an external anomaly to the everyday MCU citizen and while the Avengers might accidentally wreck your town, mutants could be in your family and are an intimate threat to The Way Things Are.

I’ve also been asked how you square Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver with Magneto if the X-men just appear now rather than being rebooted into the history of the MCU, and that’s simple too. They aren’t his kids anymore in the comics, so you might not even need to explore that connection in the movies. If they do want to, he could be a secret parent they didn’t know about. They still don’t have to be mutants since their origin is tied to Loki’s scepter. Either way, Wanda’s continued presence in the MCU is not a continuity deal-breaker.

First Class While the idea I’ve seen tossed around of the team suddenly snapping into view after Xavier has been psychically hiding them from the world for years would be a cool reveal, I don’t think they’ll want to burn all the A-list X-men by introducing them as adults. IMO, the X-men are going to be the backbone of multiple future MCU phases since the big-name Avengers are winding done, so they’re going to want to cast X-teens who can grow with the MCU. They’ll also want to start at the beginning and (hopefully) really dig into the team finding its groove, learning as they go. I’ve enjoyed the Fox prequel trilogy immensely so far, but jumping 10 years between each film takes the wind out of proper development arcs. Showing the team’s learning curve as superheroes would also set them apart from the Avengers, who have personality conflicts but essentially came to the team as polished heroes.

Fox’s prequel X-team is a pretty perfect lineup in terms of characters, so I wouldn’t change the core roster much (though I do expect everyone to be recast). We’d meet the X-men as they’re recruited, allowing the film to both touch on the world mutants are living in and to show who these kids were outside the mansion. That’ll not only show the healing effect of having other kids like them in their orbit, but will also emphasize how important the school is as a safe haven (and found family) from the rest of the world. One area where Fox’s films have fallen short (and The Gifted has excelled) is showing what the common people’s reaction to mutants is, rather than just sticking with the military’s thoughts, and I hope the MCU follows that show’s lead.

While every teenager (and even every adult) can relate to the X-men’s outsider status, mutants are also (and most importantly) supposed to represent the oppressed in our society and the next cast should reflect that. So, I’d do a lot of race and sexual orientation switches. For example, Cyclops should be Native Alaskan. He’s closely tied to that region in the comics, Summers isn’t the real family name (it was chosen by an immigrant ancestor in the comics and here could be an example of his family trying to assimilate), and the pressure to be a “model minority” would mesh perfectly with Scott’s constant drive to be a straight-laced boy scout who thinks he’d be useless if he failed. I’d let the comics’ subtext about Storm being bi or pansexual be text here. I’d also stick closer to her having been a “goddess” as well as a thief; she should be the one mutant in history that ruled humans without fear or violence so she can be a voice of reason and experience on the team. Nightcrawler could be updated into a swashbuckling street performer who’s a little internet-famous (part of a growing mutant youth subculture) in addition to his religious struggles. He could also be a positive role model in how he embraces and celebrates his physical differences (like he did on X-men Evolution), no matter who calls him a demon. Kurt could be any race as long as he’s from Germany, though I kinda like the idea of one of the few white guys being blue the whole time. Rouge would definitely start out as a villain if I were writing it. She doesn’t necessarily need to be white and making her an African-American teen from Mississippi could grant her a whole new perspective on the mutants-as-minorities idea: her loss of memories and self could reflect the black American experience of not knowing where your ancestors came from or what their culture was. I also think her reaction to meeting a literal queen who’s also a black woman would be pretty great; Storm could be a role model for her once she starts to reform (and maybe punk Storm could come from interacting with Rogue’s more fun-loving persona). Those new aspects could potentially bolster the outsider feeling she’ll already have thanks to her powers acting like a disease that forbids her from making unencumbered contact with others, so she could be relatable on several fronts.

New Mutants Scott, Ororo, Kurt, and Rogue would be my core team throughout all the films, but there’d be room for others as well. Jean’s another favorite of mine and it’d be cool to see her without the Phoenix as a predetermined end-point in mind for a while. I’ve seen it pointed out on Twitter that one of her biggest assets is her empathy, so let her use that to promote human/mutant understanding and use her comic origin story to drive her towards not letting anyone die. Gambit would be a lot of fun (and, in keeping with making things more diverse, the movies could go through with an intended comic development that he’d be bi), but I would definitely not adapt his charm power: there’s just too much room for that to get rapey to even try including it (plus, he shouldn’t need a power to be charming). Being a roguish thief with a heart of gold would play well against both the X-men and the gruff Wolverine when he’s introduced. Jubilee is more than deserving of a larger, more active role after being a glorified cameo so many times; maybe she eventually becomes the PR face of the school? Iceman’s always been another favorite of mine and his deep-seated denial of his homosexuality would bring another realistic touch to the team. Polaris, X-23, Honey Badger, Eclipse, Quicksilver (who I guess is dead, though; it’s a shame we have to leave the superior cinematic one behind in the Fox-verse), Domino, Bishop, Beast, Firestar, Psylocke, Shadowcat, etc. …the list of great characters in this franchise goes on and on and they’d all be welcome; this is why there needs to be a show, not just films!

Logan, the Wolverine We should get to Wolverine at some point—he’s another one of my favorites and there’s no denying he’s the most popular mutant—and I’d play up the parallels between him and Scott rather than focus on the love triangle with Jean. But first, I want them to hold off on Logan and maybe not even introduce him until something like the third movie. Let the rest of the team breathe and become an ensemble before reintroducing a new Wolverine, who’ll instantly be saddled with comparisons to arguably the most iconic version of the character: Hugh Jackman’s. They’d spend most of their time justifying the new Logan and I worry that the rest of the characters would be sidelined again. Instead, let’s see all of them get the chance to be as fleshed-out and celebrated as Logan is, then add him in and watch as the franchise gets even bigger from there. Maybe a way around Logan stealing the X-spotlight is to do something unorthodox (yet with enough comic precedence to appease the fans) and introduce him in an Avengers movie first. Maybe the Avengers could take the place of Alpha Flight in the MCU (or maybe they’d do something totally unexpected and just make an Alpha Flight movie). Personally I’d like to see a Logan who was absolutely horrible in his past—an animal occasionally pointed in the right direction—who then had the mind-wipe truly make him a better person who’s out to atone for a life he doesn’t remember. I think that would be compelling and would make the mind-wipe matter. Edit: I thought it might work to make Logan a POC to reflect real-life atrocities and experimentation carried out against minorities, but “violent rage machine who becomes a hero after (probably white) scientists torture him and erase his identity” would be a terrible message since you could say it argues they improved him. If he were innocent before Weapon X it would be different (and possibly a comment on the damage white people have inflicted on just about everyone else); I guess it depends on what they want Logan's story to be and what effect Weapon X has on him (and there should be an effect, not that X-men Origins nonsense where he's essentially the same person on both sides of it). If he's an angry white guy who's improved by forgetting who he was/the society that made him that way, that could be an interesting comment on the white male rage we see so much of today too.

Dark Phoenix, Apocalypse (and other X-threats) I definitely don’t want to see Magneto right away (though he’s the best villain in fiction). On film, we need a break from him (though if they wanted to make him Xavier’s co-leader of the X-men for an extended period, I’d be interested). I genuinely liked Mystique’s character development into just that position in the prequel films, but when she returns in the MCU it should be as a villain first (and certainly as Kurt’s mom—or why not his dad, as originally planned?—and Rogue’s adoptive mother). Stryker, the Sentinels, and the Phoenix Saga should all be held off until far down the road as well.

I wish I could remember who on Twitter suggested it, but I love the idea of using conversion therapy as the basis for an X-men villain, so that’s how I’d open the series (let’s call these films The Uncanny X-men, for argument’s sake). Use Mesmero as one of two main villains, mind-controlling mutants into thinking that they don’t have powers to the point where they subconsciously shut down their access to them (like Iceman did to himself after House of M). Do this through Legion-esque twisty, mind-bending psychic sequences (so we can see each character’s inner fears and character traits), but mixed with real-world conversion therapy horrors. Once Mesmero’s phase is completed, the “cured” mutants are thrown into an elaborate deathtrap/maze to make sure they can’t access their powers anymore…this would be a Murderworld designed by an updated Arcade! That would provide the bombastic third act after the Mesmero stuff gives us some great character work. Xavier sends the team in to investigate this process (maybe it’s set on Genosha) and they meet Rogue there, who’s also undercover but for Mystique, out to kill everyone involved whereas the X-men want to expose the torture and shut it down peacefully to be a good example. You could start to argue whether the X-men being upstanding superheroes allows them to go far enough with a third party like Rogue/the Brotherhood.

My second movie would feature Mr. Sinister and his attempts to keep up with mutants by experimenting on himself to give himself powers. I’d make it a cultural appropriation metaphor, by having Sinister create agents for the government (the Freedom Force seems like an appropriate right-wing name and it looks like they might be needed to step in where the Avengers leave off after Endgame) who are heroes and celebrated by the public, whereas the X-men are still hated. The X-men would of course resent the popular “mutates” taking what made them special and being celebrated for it while they’re still hated. If the first movie is about the X-men fighting to prove they should be here, the second would be about mutants establishing their own culture (and the burgeoning mutant subculture would absolutely be a part of this). It’d also be about humans artificially clinging to relevance and fearing losing their status in society (extremely relevant to a huge problem with white society in America today), while larger sci-fi themes about moving toward the future of humanity via evolution are explored through Sinister. Sinister’s base would absolutely be in the Savage Land so we could see X-men vs. dinosaurs: in addition to just being fun and cool (and big business, if the Jurassic World movies are any indication), dinosaurs would metaphorically represent the human race. They’d be a constant reminder of the extinction and irrelevance Sinister is trying to outthink. Perhaps Sauron could be a minor villain in that setting. Since I wouldn’t want to do Phoenix yet, a Madelyne Prior story might be better for this new era (maybe she’s one of Sinister’s Freedom Force mutates). If they don’t want to do the Captain Marvel/Rogue animosity—and I’m not sure I want to see Carol lose her memories and herself again, though you could create a bond between the two of them over Carol being manipulated by the Kree and Rogue by Mystique (maybe that’s how they’d finally resolve their hatred?)—another of Sinister’s mutates being called Warbird and having flight/super-strength would be a fine substitute for Rogue to get her iconic powers and send her to the X-men for help.

As we get into Uncanny 3, I’d do Onslaught, but a more streamlined version that doesn’t involve the Heroes Reborn thing. I’d rather it be confined to the X-men, but since we’re in the MCU now it’d be a good opportunity for the teams to team up. My Onslaught wouldn’t be a Magneto/Xavier mind-meld, but a Xavier who finally lost hope in his dream and decided to force humans to accept mutants. I think Xavier screwing with the team, implanting false memories to manipulate them, sow discord, etc. would be a lot of fun…and a chance to have Rogue be the big damn hero because of her mental training to suss out her actual personality (in these films I’d dedicate time to the team actively helping her try to control her abilities and rediscover herself). A psychic threat would also be a nice bookend to the team’s first film and a response to “how impactful can the X-men be as true-blue heroes?,” while defeating Xavier would be a natural end to this chapter as the team goes on to new adventures under Scott and Ororo’s leadership.

Once we’ve explored new threats, I’m fully open to digging into Magneto, Apocalypse (hopefully maintaining his “I’m trying to save you all by forcing conflict to evolve you” delusion), Stryker, the Sentinels, Mystique, Shadow King, Juggernaut, Sabretooth, Omega Red (who hasn’t been used yet), etc. again. Whatever they do, I hope the MCU goes big and explores all facets of the X-universe, like Genosha, Asteroid M, the Morlocks, the Brood, Madripoor, Mojo, etc. The X-world is a rich one unto itself, so Disney should let it shine and really flesh out the MCU beyond the real-world boundaries they’ve lived in so far and are only just now starting to venture from (at least on Earth). When we do get to Phoenix again, I hope it’ll be a natural evolution and Jean’s quest to make the world better so no one has to die again, not a cosmic space bird trying on feelings or a secret evil split personality (as an early X3 idea pitched, my Jean would evolve into the comics’ cosmic force).

United I absolutely don’t want some sort of Avengers vs. X-men thing. Who wants the Avengers turned into the militant arm of a bigoted government or something? No matter how you slice it, the X-men represent minorities/PoC/the oppressed, so making the Avengers fight them just seems wrong and automatically tips them toward being agents of oppression. If you lean too far into “mutant powers really are dangerous” to justify the Avengers fighting them, the X-men lose their social relevance. At “best,” you’ll have the Avengers making an argument along the lines of “protests that cause property damage are just as bad as the racists/social inequality they’re protesting,” which is not a good look for anyone. Plus, I’m just sick of heroes fighting heroes.

I wouldn’t do House of M or X-men vs. Inhumans either: extinction events not perpetrated by bigots trying to pull off genocide undercut the metaphor of mutancy. The X-men represent oppressed minorities, not snow leopards.

Deadpool: The Last Stand While it would be absolutely crazy if Dark Phoenix ended with Jean re-creating the Fox-Earth into the MCU or something, I don’t think the Fox-verse will get that kind of send-off. Aside from Dark Phoenix, New Mutants (which looks very spooky-cool but who knows if it will be released in theaters or on Hulu), and The Gifted (which will almost certainly be cancelled, sadly) the big dangling thread of the Fox-verse is the still-popular Deadpool. Legion will be ending after Season 3 and I think it’s safe to say Gambit, Shadowcat, Multiple Man, etc. are dead at this point, and that’s probably for the best if Disney wants to create a unified vision and start fresh.

However, a Deadpool 3 (or X-Force) film should definitely still happen, and I have an idea to help the characters (and actors) we love from those movies make the jump to the MCU intact. I think DP3/X-Force should be an adventure on Mojoworld! Deadpool’s probably the only live-action property that would be willing to go all-in on Mojo, so they should be the one to take the dive (especially now that Shatterstar’s mentioned it exists). Everyone gets abducted and the writers can go extremely meta with it. They could structure it similarly to the first Mojo episode of the 90s X-men cartoon, but with jokes about Hollywood’s obsession with sequels, reboots, and the franchise wars (as well as society’s relationship with the media). They could also joke about fan fears about Disney making them PG-13 (though I think those fears are unfounded), via some Good Place-esque censorship. Mojo’s televised world could also allow for cameos galore from the Fox-films, including the much-desired Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds team-up. This isn’t how I’d prefer to see those actors together for the last time, but since it seems like the only option I’d take it. And at the end of this Mojoverse adventure? The Fox-verse is “cancelled,” leaving Wade and friends to be dumped into the MCU. You could cherry-pick the Fox timeline for favorites to save here: Wade, Domino, Negasonic, Colossus, Blind Al, Vanessa, Cable, Dopinder, both Yukios, and Laura/X-23 would all be welcome IMO (alternatively, I’ll take people like Zazie Beetz and Dafne Keen getting cast as Domino and Laura again in the MCU, just with new origins). If there’s a way to get The Gifted characters—especially Polaris and Eclipse—to the MCU too (if Blink’s season 2-ending portal doesn’t do it and make that group the MCU’s Exiles; seeing them come from a hardened anti-mutant world into an MCU where mutants are just starting to pop up in large numbers would be a really cool switch for them), I’m all for that as well. You could even give X-Force’s appearance in the MCU some narrative impact by forcing Xavier to accelerate his plan for the X-men to go public to counteract Deadpool’s team in the public eye, since Wade is not the guy you want at the center of the mutant rights effort.

Days of Future Past I realize most of this won’t happen (especially my ideas for the movies, but hey Disney, if you want some X-novels give me a call), but it’s a vision of the X-Franchise’s future I’d like to see. The big things are that mutants should just appear naturally, Disney should be open to casting and writing the characters more diversely than they’ve been in the comics (a consideration I’d extend to the franchise’s creators behind the scenes and soundtrack as well, though the main theme should absolutely be the 90s Animated Series theme!), and the MCU should take the time to dig into every aspect of the franchise rather than immediately hitting beats Fox has already covered. There are a lot of socially-relevant angles to tackle the X-men world with, and I want to see them all explored. The Disney/Fox deal is officially finalized on March 20, so we’ll soon see how the X-men will fit in. 

Whatever happens, I’m excited to see Dark Phoenix and I can’t wait to see more X-adventures in the MCU!

What do you think? What do you want to see from the X-men in the MCU?

Check out more of my theories, reviews, and original short stories here!

Super Sonic Thieves Chapter 13

Chapter 13 - Croaked Ships

The Set Up:

Sonic, narrating: “Blaze, Silver, and Marine warned us of where the next villain appeared, and he was attempting to take control of the Sol dimension.”

Sly, narrating: “And just as appropriate, Sir Raleigh was the criminal handling the occupation here. Figures he’d try to take over the seafaring world here like the pirate he thinks he is. He was born to a rich family, but loved stealing other people’s riches. Last we dealt with him, he tried using a storm machine to churn the seas to stop ships.”

Sonic, narrating: “And it looks like he’s doing it again here, since when we arrived, there was storm clouds as far as the eye could see. We better find him, and stop him before he does irreversible damage here.”

-----

Zone Layout: The gang has unfortunately landed on the other side of the island Raleigh has docked his ship at, so they’ll have to pass through a Sol island jungle to get to his ship. Then it’s a trip on and in Raleigh’s gigantic pirate ship to find the frog himself. Perhaps Raleigh is hiding his storm generator on board as well?

Enemies:

Robot Walrus (Mallet): These angry metal walruses smack the hammer down to crush you. Carries/drops 15-17 coins and has a 10% chance of treasure to pickpocket.

Robot Walrus (Welder): If they aren’t working on fixing metal, they’ll turn their torches on you and burn you. Carries/drops 15-17 coins and has a 10% chance of treasure to pickpocket.

Robot Walrus (Shuriken thrower): These robot walruses toss metal starfishes like shurikens to smack you away. Carries/drops 19-21 coins and has a 25% chance of treasure to pickpocket.

Robot Squid: Robotic copies of Raleigh’s flashlight carrying squids. They still squirt globs of oil at you that make you slippery when they spot you. Carries/drops 19-24 coins and has a 50% chance of treasure to pickpocket.

Aquis: Flying robot seahorses that also shoot globs of oil to make slippery floors or make you slippery. Drops 19 rings when smashed.

Stormmister: It’s similar to Eggman’s earlier Toximister, but this one dispenses storm clouds that if touched, will attempt to strike you with a lightning bolt. You need to be moving to miss it. Drops 21 rings when smashed.

Treasures:

From Guards:

Lump of Bronze: Worth 90 coins and 45 rings.

Lump of Silver: Worth 110 coins and 55 rings.

Lump of Gold: Worth 130 coins and 65 rings.

From Pedestals:

Platinum Ship in a Bottle: Found near to the river in Act 1. Worth 2150 coins and 1075 rings.

Water Jewel: Hiding on the top deck in Act 2. Worth 2250 rings and 1125 rings.

‘Jeweled Scepter’: In plain sight in Clockwerk’s room, grab it before destroying the bird. Worth 2350 rings and 1175 rings.

The coins have the Sol emeralds as the design on them.

-----

Stormy Seas Zone Act 1: Dimitri and Silver take on the first leg of finding Sir Raleigh, which is actually getting onto his ship that is docked on the other side of the jungle island they are on. The player will use Dimitri’s swimming abilities and Silver’s psychokinesis to traverse the dense jungle, avoiding the enemies along the way. Silver’s psychokinesis will need to be used to either block or destroy spotlights so you won’t get shot at.

*At the start.*

Silver: “* Sigh* I wish we were coming back home under better circumstances. Seeing our world under this storm is saddening.”

Dimitri: “Hey, don’t worry, bro. You’re with the Cooper gang. We’ll put the bizness back to what it was before, you dig?”

Silver: “I dig… I think.”

Bentley, over the binocucom: “Just be careful through the jungle, guys. I’m pretty sure Raleigh’s set up plenty of traps to catch us in.”

---

Stormy Seas Zone Act 2: Carmelita and Blaze sneak their way onto the top deck, and listen in on Sir Raleigh as he hops around and talks about his plans. The player must stay out of his sight, or it’ll have to be done again. Soon, he’ll go a deck down, so it should get a bit easier to hide behind things. The main focus of his talking is of his storm generator, which happens to be another Clockwerk bird.

*At the start*

Carmelita: “We’ve boarded Raleigh’s ship, so we better look for him…”

Blaze: “Maybe we could entice him out with a cannon blast or 2?”

Carmelita: “That would work, less searching for us.”

*Some cannon blasts and hiding later, Raleigh comes to the top deck to inspect.*

Sir Raleigh: “Hey! Quiet down up here! I’m busy trying to figure out our new ship course for this place!”

A guard: “Sorry, someone fired the cannons out”

Sir Raleigh: “Cannons don’t fire by themselves! Find the person who did it!” *He turns around and starts hopping.*

Blaze: “Phew, that was close.”

Carmelita: “Yeah, but we better follow him.”

*After a bit.*

Sir Raleigh: “I have to admit, I was a bit skeptical about this place, but now that I see it for myself, it’s quite perfect for me. So much sea to see, so many islands to raid and plunder. Surely a pirate’s life here.”

Blaze: “Not if I can help it, you stupid frog…”

Carmelita: “We’ll nail him, just wait…”

*Later, a deck below.*

Guard: “Remind me why we are also sitting around for now?”

Sir Raleigh: “We’re waiting for our Storm Clockwerk below to turn the whole Sol Dimension stormy, so we can easily plunder this world.”

Guard: “I thought that raccoon who got you last time killed him, twice.”

Sir Raleigh: “He did, but that Eggman fellow somehow figured out how to build copies of him, and now we can control one as we wish! He’s better as a loyal servant than as an annoying leader anyway.”

Penelope, over the binocucom: “Huh? That’s strange…”

Bentley, over the binocucom: “It is?”

Penelope, over the binocucom: “I don’t remember him ever talking about Clockwerk copies, at least, not offering one to me. Now that I think about it, he did send me out quickly…”

Tails, over the binocucom: “He probably didn’t want you squealing any information to us. He’s really putting the hammer down on leaking information.”

Penelope, over the binocucom: “Jeez… I really was just a pawn…”

Bentley, over the binocucom: “It’s okay… you’re with us now, that’s what matters.”

Penelope, over the binocucom: “Yeah… I’m going to see what I can do about hacking the Clockwerk Owls while you guys smash them. Maybe I can figure out what’s going on.”

---

Stormy Seas Zone Act 3: Panda King and Marine head down to the lower decks and find the Storm Clockwerk up and running and creating electrical storms in the seas. The player can use Panda King’s fireworks to just use fireworks to blast apart the bird to pieces, while Marine plugs up leaks that may appear from the falling pieces and explosions. Then, it’s just a trip to the captain’s room to confront Sir Raleigh.

*At the start, on the sight of Clockwerk.*

Marine: “Argh, mateys! We’ve spotted the blight of a bird! It’d be working electrical conduits to the top o’ the ship and discharging into the atmosphere!”

Bentley, over the binocucom: “Thus, supercharging the air above and producing storms! Good job, guys.”

Panda King: “I assume you want me to use my fireworks to smash the bird to pieces?”

Tails, over the binocucom: “You got it! We better hurry, before it creates a storm too powerful to stop!”

Panda King: “Excellent. Prepare, fake Clockwerk, to become nothing but dust!”

*Upon destruction*

Panda King: “The bird… it is gone now.”

Marine: “Yar, let’s make haste to find the captain’s room!”

*While looking for the captain’s room.*

Penelope, over the binocucom: “Hmmm… interesting. Something left when it blew up.”

Bentley, over the binocucom: “Can you determine what it is?”

Penelope, over the binocucom: “Hard to say… it’s not a simple electrical reading… I can at least say, based upon designs you guys made of the original Clockwerk, it seemed to come from where… the ‘hate chip’ was located.”

Sly, over the binocucom: “It’s been a long while since we’ve heard about that thing…”

Penelope, over the binocucom: “I can say there is no hate chip though, from the wreckage you guys made, nor does it seem to be there anyway… Maybe Eggman attached something there to work it from far away?”

Tails, over the binocucom: “It’s not familiar to me. Eggman has dabbled in the supernatural though, if that is any help. I mean, he’s built a few bases on haunted grounds.”

Penelope, over the binocucom: “Hmmm…”

Bentley, over the binocucom: “So have a few of our villains, kind of a normal thing actually. We got laws limiting the use of supernatural things for evil uses.”

---

Stormy Seas Zone Act 4 (BOSS): Sly and Sonic enter his swamped Captain’s room to deal with the annoying frog…

Sir Raleigh: “Well, well, if it isn’t the lost raccoon and an annoying pincushion Eggman warned me about. You sure have been making a mess of my ship, haven’t you?”

Sly: “Only enough to stop you from pirating this world.”

Sonic: “Wait, this little frog is a nasty villain? He looks like he’s going to break into a dance. You know ‘Hello, my baby, hello, my honey, hello my ragtime gal’ ? ”

Sir Raleigh, sounding quite pissed: “Grrr… I was told by Eggman you’d be annoying, but that’s really low. I am not related to Michigan J. Frog at all!! Just because they create a cartoon that stars a frog that’s all happy and dances does not mean all of us are like that!”

Sonic: “I don’t know… you do got the top hat, and you’re old enough to need a cane. Look! He’s even got a record player in the back!”

Sir Raleigh: “Shut up, Shut Up, SHUT UP!!! I was just going to crush you, but now you’ve made it really personal, hedgehog!!! DIE!!!”

Boss: Sir Raleigh

Sir Raleigh fights like before, hopping around and trying to smack you with his tongue, or attempting to belly slam you on the lily pads. And like before, wait until he deflates to attack him, though watch out for the tongue still. If he was easy the first time around, this is going to be a walk in the park.

*When defeated*

Sir Raleigh: “Noooo… lost again… Why did pirating get so hard?”

-----

The Getaway:

Sonic, narating: “Soon after Sir Raleigh’s defeat, the storm clouds faded away, and the seas became calm once more. The Sol dimension was safe again, much to Silver’s, Blaze’s and Marine’s excitement. We couldn’t stay for long, since we had to drop Sir Raleigh off back at INTERPOL and return to our world again. I wonder where our journey is heading next...”

Next Time: There’s a tiger on the prowl in the cold jungle in Bamboo Blitz Zone.

EPISODE 11

So I really pushed for it and it happened, Madison is officially gone and that’s one less person I gotta suck up to. But now mark is pissed at me. WHY WOULD WE VOTE KAREN OFF. She does not have a strong game, she’s floundering, she’s a prefect goat to take to the end. But whatever! Be as mad as you want. I was trying to help us both. But you just wanna be a big MAN BABY because I’m not letting you run this game. Remember how I said I wanted to run this and take no prisoners- well it’s now in full fuckin swing. I’ll do anything to get to the end. Even if that means cutting off mark, my number one ally. I’m actually super upset because I feel like he won’t be my friend anymore and wow I need to stop rambling whatever goodnight goodbye Goodluck 

I did a confessional before i got a strike lmaoooo I won immunity bitches time for revenge in Madison’s name. I’d love to just take out Tracey’s boring ass this round but there’s bigger threats in the game and unfortunately she’s not a threat to anyone or anything ever so let’s hope we can actually flush stoners idol this round and take out dan or drew 

I didn't win immunity but i beat Drew the legend's score so im really happy about that. Tonight's plan is to tell people we're voting dan but actually vote drew, so I'm hoping it's seamless and not a fucking trainwreck like it has been. We're also trying to get Chris to use his idol. Lastly, im not sure i trust charlie atm. Mark wants her in on the Drew vote but im nervous that she might spill. 

mark brought up a good point, but pat could potentially play the sapphire idol this round or the next for a big move, and with the way the game is going, one of these two tribals is probably the time to play it to try and swing some momentum back in his favor while also making a big move to add to his resume. just ideas™ in my head

Another fucking mess vote. Will I vote Drew? Maybe. Will I vote Chelsea? Maybe. Am I getting blindsided? Maybe. Idk it just feels weird. I feel like people are talking a lot but not a lot at the same time. Like we’re all beating around the bush. Let’s hop to it ladies. I’ll proabbly turn on Drew this week, I hope that doesn’t effect anything with Stoner in this game or the other game I’m in with him.

I'm writing another log because I'm so nervous for tonight once again. Idk why but I'm skeptical about Pippa being included in our voting information because I think she is secretly spying for Chris. The other night I told Pippa that I might vote Chris and not even a minute later, he messages me saying "I heard I'm getting votes against me." Coincidence? Idk. I want to be able to network and work with people but I don't know who to trust. Pat and Mark are pretty cool, but even Sammy I'm a little bit worried about. On the same night with the Pippa situation, I got a message from Chris telling me that Sammy asked him if he would vote me. So, now I'm not sure if Chris was just baiting me to start a fight, or if Sammy might also be working with Chris. Fuck. 

This round is a mess but honestly, I’m like so here for it. I’m lowkey hoping Pat hits the bricks bc I told Drew he’s getting all the votes. I can’t wait to get voted out hahahahahaha. That would be so fucking funny. Everyone thinks Chris has the idol, but Drew does :~)

so this round has been very boring. Everyone is being predictable and sticking with their comfort.  However I really want to switch things up and stop giving Tracey stoner and Chris so much power. Tracey just keeps coming to me to get information and it's low-key annoying cause like obvs I know she is working w Chris and Drew.  Like she could be making power moves but she has not worked w me once and keeps like not going w anything I tell her. lmao whatever.

I feel like I have my little baby hands in every honey pot in this game. I’m the swing vote but I’m also deciding who it swings on. I’m letting Mark and drew think they’re picking who the vote is, but I’m whispering in their ears ehehhehe. Hopefully drew goes home tonight and stoner uses his idol

So uhhhhh last tribal was iconic skdndkndkdnd it actually worked and I'm still here ??????? Anyway nothing new has really happened so yeah :/ but um the others are flushing chris' idol and me drew and Chris are voting for Sammy. Also I need to keep an eye on dan because he still seems like a flip flopped skcjfkfnfj

CONFESSIONAL: This week is supposed to go smoothly. My alliance of sammy chelsea and mark is going well. I trust them a lot. With my alliance members getting voted out its easier for them to want to vote for me in the end. I miss madison but we have to keep moving forward to eliiminate drew, chris and tracey. i CANNOT STAND THEM. especially tracey. if she takes me out i will actually cry. No matter what happens atlast i have majority. and it seeeeeeems like people are noticing me and I realllllyyyy like that. Like if they keep going for chelsea and mark Its going to be amazing. This is literally how I won my BB game so I think this is a good way to get myself into the same position

OKAY SO SOMEHOW the concept of voting out madison actually worked?? Charlotte's interest in playing both sides was so incredible and useful in the last minute. Rip Ricky btw, i hope by the time this comes out, things are better for him. So the challenge was firedragon, which means i lost right the fuck away. So once again, a brilliant idol play was necessary. I'm bitter af that it couldn't be Chelsea ...but sammy probably was the better call. But now i'm stuck, F8, no idol, very little hope. It's nearing the end of the road but honestly making it this far is a triumph in itself.

SAMMY IS VOTED OUT

I’m shook. This is my third individual immunity win. My target is definitely growing but I still feel like I’m playing a reasonable game. I would love for Pat to use his Sapphire idol this week bc I would be safe regardless, but honestly Drew is the easy vote. The only thing that sucks is that he knows Pat has the Sapphire idol and if I flip, he could easily tell Pat or others about me telling him. I could do some damage control this week and tell Pat that Drew asked me if Pat had won the power and I said idk. And act like drew knew where everyone competed and it’s wideled down to Pat possibly having it. That’s a little risky but if it comes out that Drew told Pat I told him about the idol, it could save me and I can easily back pedal and say that Drew has a lucky guess. But at the same time, why would Drew lie if he was going out the door hnnnnn. It’s best if Pat doesn’t feel safe this week/thinks it’s gonna go to rocks. I think I could push a tie narrative by throwing Charlotte under the bus, but we’ll see. Regardless I’m going to the f7 and hopefully I have a solid group of 4 and maybe an idol of my own up my sleeve. 

Okay I literally forgot that prevotes are due tonight; not being in an alliance chat this round made things weird, but iIve been working with Pat, Dan, Mark, and Charlotte to find the idol this entire time. I'm gonna be voting Chris, Tracey, or Drew, but I guess I should be talking to people about that and not idol clues lmfao.

Trying to fucking explain to Pat how his own Sapphire idol works is like trying to explain not being racist to my Uncle Bill. It’s just not....happening. 

So!!!!!! Another tribal another person gone whew it sucka that it had to be sammy bc I actually wanted to work with him a bit but I gotta do what I gotta do to stay in the game. We had touchy subjects this round and I got most annoying which I'm sure I got bc I snapped in the tribe chat that one time JSJDJDJDJ and who doesn't deserve to still be here which is like ????? I get it!!! Y'all wanted me out for so long but you can't your way bc I'm smarter but w/e!!!! They can stay hatin ! I think I got most likely to get to the end and win or lose idk but I like my odds tbh rkdjdofnfk so this round will prob end being split 4-4 which is exciting bc it means we'll prob be going to rocks !!!! I'm nervous about being rocked out but hey at least it'll be exciting lol. I'm hoping after this round or next round to get dan out tho, he's playing a superb game and it'd be a great move to take him out t b h

Eek I really hope drew finally goes home! Glad I won funniest tbh! Haha! I’ll make a longer confessional later! I’ll prob be sent home tonight oh whale

I LOST THE CHALLENGE I DON'T HAVE AN IDOL This should spell death for me. It really should. it probably still will. But I have three people willing to vote with me, two willing to pull a rock for me. So far, at least. A lot of shit changes when the revote is upon us. There's also Pat's sapphire idol to think about. I'm honestly not expecting to make it through this round but if I do, there are only four rounds left to go. Four rounds, it's not that much. We're trying to vote Pat because making me and Pat both safe was the best way to keep Dan on board with the plan. That and the fact that he won immunity and wouldn't pull a rock. Also I got biggest threat and needs to go next. These whores really know how to flatter a bitch.

IM FINALLY VOTING TRACEY OUT.. too bad shes not actually going home bc Pat has the reward from the dark week. He started getting nervous with his name apparently going around this vote and only charlotte or dan would need to flip to cause rocks/send pat home. So Pat is safe with his idol but it cancels votes for the top 2 vote getters. So we had to maneuver the votes so Tracey is actually the second vote getter and Drew is the 3rd so Drew goes home. Me Dan Pat and Chelsea searched every name in survivor history on the blog for the clues to the idol, and then searched those numbers. We dont have it yet but should soon. Touchy subjects was interesting. Apparently i really am perceived to be running this game, not sure how that happened. But hopefully if i get to the end after "running the game"  since merge thatll make up the lack of social game i have compared to some of the people left in the game.

What happens at SfN stays at SfN

Neuroscience’s Event of the Year, the Society for Neuroscience Annual Meeting, is a giant conference (I think there were close to 30,000 attendees this year) which circulates its location between San Diego, DC, and Chicago. In a surprisingly perfect-for-me aligning of stars, its location in the past two years happened to be as close as possible to my location at each time (that is, last year, when I was in undergrad in North Carolina, SfN was in DC, and this year it was held in San Diego). Next year, if I go, I won’t be so lucky because it’ll be held in Chicago and I will still be in LA. 

My program gives every first year class financial support to attend SfN just to check it out, so my cohort piled into two cars and drove the 2 and a half hours down to San Diego early on a Saturday morning. All 10 of us shared an AirBnB for 4 nights. The program director, upon hearing about this plan, skeptically said “I hope you don’t all hate each other after this,” but I’m happy to report it actually went pretty well. 

Anyway, as I mentioned earlier, I had been to SfN last year, but my experience this year was wildly different for a number of reasons:

Last year, I was presenting my first-ever poster, so I was nervous and jittery about preparing for my presentation and potential questions. 

When I wasn’t worrying about my poster or actually presenting it, I was using the conference as a way to network my way into grad school -- setting up coffee meetings with PIs and current students at programs I was applying to. So that was another source of pressure.

I also went alone to the conference -- rather than having a group of pals crammed into a house, I was holed up in a hotel room. So between the stress and isolation of last year, I didn’t make much of an effort to explore any other aspects of SfN.

This year, I wasn’t presenting anything, didn’t need to worry about applying to grad schools anymore, and had other people to hang out with, so it was a completely different experience. Not to mention, San Diego is a heck of a lot nicer than DC in November. 

First, let’s talk about the science side of SfN, then we’ll get to the social parts. 

SfN is freakin’ wild. It’s an overwhelming mass of human beings -- as an avid comic con attendee, that’s the closest analog I’ve found. Except that SfN is even bigger than most conventions I’ve been to, with the notable exception of San Diego Comic-Con, the largest and most well-known con, which happens to be held in the same convention center as SfN was this year. 

I spent a solid chunk of my time this year going to talks and lectures on various aspects of neuroscience that are outside of my personal research areas but that I think are super interesting, like evolution of social behaviors, language networks, processing of facial expressions, and psychedelic drugs. There’s something for everyone! I think that’s one of the most exciting parts of such a huge conference -- while more specialized conferences might provide better resources and networking opportunities within your specific field, a conference like this lets you explore wildly different areas and hear talks from people who are the experts in those fields.

Then there are the vendor booths: a maze of scientific equipment, software, and publishing companies all hawking free gifts in efforts to lure you in to hear their pitches. It’s like trick-or-treating, featuring a high dose of sensory overload. I made off with a pretty good haul this year -- free t-shirts, reusable bags, postcards, pens, pins, stickers, a puzzle, etc. -- but unfortunately for me, I didn’t claim any of the ‘best’ items I heard about through the grapevine (fanny packs, plushy brains, and hoodies) because they all ‘sold out’ too fast. Gotta plan my trick-or-treating better next time! 

At least I got a photo with a giant plushy neuron.

Now for the social side: you may or may not be surprised to learn that when 30,000 neuroscientists descend on San Diego, there’s quite a bit of after-hours fun. I think I both drank more alcohol and ate more tacos in the span of those five days than I had in the past five months. 

One professor at UCLA is also the co-founder of a scientific equipment company that makes custom two-photon imaging rigs, called Neurolabware. As such, he’s freakin’ loaded and, apparently, hosts a giant dance party every year at SfN. This year, the Neurolabware party rented out an entire nightclub on a Monday night, and Things. Got. Lit. 

Here’s the cohort, minus a few members who headed over to the party earlier, looking badass in our AirBnB before departing. And here’s the club.

The last time I went clubbing was during my semester abroad in undergrad, and if you’d told me then that my next nightclub experience would be with a bunch of scientists at a neuroscience equipment-sponsored event -- and that I would actually enjoy it -- I would’ve laughed. It was an absolutely surreal, but incredibly fun, night.

It also resulted in the sad fact that my first ever hangover occurred at a neuroscience conference, which is unfortunate but I think also very on-brand for me. Luckily, I had nothing pressing scheduled for the following day, other than attending some lectures in dark rooms and meeting up with an old friend for, yes, more tacos. 

All in all, stressless SfN was a fantastic experience, and one I probably won’t ever get to truly have again because I’ll likely only get funding to go again if I’m presenting something. But even if I’m giving another poster, I’ll make sure not to skip the social stuff again, because neuroscientists party with the best of ‘em. 

HTC U12 Plus review: Squeezing can only get you so far (Updated with video!) The HTC U11 surprised us last year with its superb camera and snappy software, and the HTC U12 Plus continues that trend. The company’s new 2018 flagship offers a near-complete package likely to impress HTC enthusiasts and skeptics alike, but I don’t know if I can actually recommend this phone to many people. Find out why in our full HTC U12 Plus review. HTC U12 Plus review notes: I have been using the HTC U12 Plus on T-Mobile’s network in the U.S. for eight days. Our review unit is running Android 8.0 Oreo and software number 1.15.617.4 on the March 1, 2018 security patch. We’re holding off on adding review scores until we can put the U12 Plus through our full suite of tests. The U12 Plus used in this review was provided to Android Authority by HTC. Show More Design 2018 seems to have become a year of iteration, and the HTC U12 Plus fits right into that theme. We’re not getting a drastic redesign from the U11 or U11 Plus, but rather a refined take on the Liquid Surface design introduced last year. Those familiar with the U11 will appreciate the minimal bezels on the front, as well as the taller 18:9 screen. There’s no notch on the display either, which is a nice departure from all the other phones that include a notch in 2018. Read more: HTC U11 review | HTC U11 Plus review Like its predecessors, the U12 Plus features an all-glass design and an aluminum frame. It’s heavy, weighing in at 188 grams, and feels like a really high-quality piece of tech. That’s par for the course for an HTC phone, though. Another thing to expect when you buy HTC is superb design, and the U12 Plus is no exception. This is one of the coolest looking phones I’ve ever seen. I don’t think it’s as elegant as the Galaxy S9 or as minimal as the Essential Phone, but there’s something about the way HTC designs phones that makes them stand out. I’ve actually caught myself staring at the back of this phone for no particular reason. This is one of the most eye-catching smartphones on the market right now. It comes in three color options — translucent blue, flame red, and ceramic (or titanium) black. They all look great, though the blue option will probably be the most popular. A couple notes on some of the design elements: the ceramic black model is just a color name — it’s not actually made of ceramic. All three color variants are covered in a custom layer of Gorilla Glass on the front and back that’s closer to Gorilla Glass 3 than the newer Gorilla Glass 5. HTC said it used this type of glass because it provides strong shatter and scratch resistance, while still allowing the company to manipulate it at extreme angles so the phone is comfortable to hold. Like other glass phones, the U12 Plus is slippery. You’ll want to throw a case on it to avoid accidental drops. HTC has some of the best phone designers in the business, which is why it’s shocking that the side buttons on this phone are so bad. The power and volume keys aren’t actually buttons, they’re pressure-sensitive areas on the side that activate when pressed down. Think of them like a continuation of Edge Sense, but for individual buttons. The new buttons are by far the worst part of this phone. This is by far the worst part of this phone. Since you don’t get that physical click out of the side buttons — only a bit of haptic feedback — there’s some noticeable lag when turning on the screen or adjusting the volume. Trying to click any of the side buttons in rapid succession is damn near impossible, which makes it difficult to do simple things like turn down the volume or double-tap the power key to launch the camera. They also require a harder press than you’d normally have to apply to any other phone’s buttons. Whenever I use this phone, I genuinely try to avoid using the side buttons. They’re that frustrating. To end on a positive note, the lack of side buttons allowed HTC to more easily add an IP68 water resistance rating to the phone. That’s great news for anyone who’s ever spilled a drink on their phone or dropped it in the toilet. Display Despite where the market is headed, HTC is still invested in LCD displays. The HTC U12 Plus comes with a 6.0-inch Super LCD 6 screen with an 18:9 aspect ratio and a Quad HD+ resolution. It’s bright, crisp, and offers great viewing angles. Plus, it gets dim enough for nighttime use and bright enough for outdoor use, so it looks like HTC really improved its display tech this time around. The default DCI-P3 color profile is a bit to saturated for my liking, but it’s easy enough to tweak in the settings menu. Related reading Display showdown: AMOLED vs LCD vs Retina vs Infinity Display It can be argued that the display on your smartphone is its most important feature, as it is the principle way in which you interact with your device. A poor display means a poor user … While the big, tall display is nice, HTC doesn’t allow you to swipe down on the fingerprint sensor to pull down the notification shade. This is a feature I use constantly on my Pixel 2 XL, and I really wish it was on the U12 Plus. You can swipe down from anywhere on the home screen to see your notification shade, but it’s not as convenient as using the fingerprint sensor. HTC included an always-on display this time around, too. Called Smart Display, you can set this ambient screen to appear only when you wake your phone, or have it on at all times. Since the U12 Plus has an LCD display, this feature might use up a little extra battery if you keep it on. Performance Outside of a Pixel or OnePlus phone, this is one of the smoothest Android experiences you’ll find. This shouldn’t come as a surprise, as the U11 and U11 Plus were two of the speediest Android phones of 2017. The HTC U12 Plus sports a Qualcomm Snapdragon 845 SoC clocked at 2.8GHz, backed by 6GB of RAM. No matter what you throw at this phone — multitasking, heavy gameplay, or just scrolling around the UI — the U12 Plus will handle it with ease. Further reading: Best Android phones you can buy right now I only ran into one real performance issue throughout the review period. I had to restart the phone after it froze on me, but I’m actually glad that happened — it gave me the opportunity to test out whether or not the power button still works after the phone freezes. It does, which is very good news. If you’re into benchmark scores, we ran the U12 Plus through Geekbench 4, AnTuTu, and 3D Mark. You can see all the results below: Geekbench 4 gave the HTC U12 Plus a single-core score of 2,362. In comparison, the OnePlus 6 scored 2,454, while the Galaxy S9 scored 2,144. The U12 Plus achieved a multi-core score of 8,910, while the OnePlus 6 scored 8,967, and the Galaxy S9 scored 8,116. AnTuTu gave the U12 Plus a score of 267,560, compared to the OnePlus 6’s 262,614 and the S9’s 266,559. Finally, the HTC U12 Plus scored 4,537 in 3D Mark, while the OnePlus 6 and Galaxy S9 scored 4,680 and 4,672, respectively. Hardware The base model HTC U12 Plus comes with 64GB of storage, and you can grab the 128GB model for just $50 more. It also has microSD expansion up to 2TB if you need even more room. More HTC U12 Plus vs the competition: Can HTC’s beast tame the best of the rest? HTC might not say it, but the U12 Plus' shoulders carry an enormous amount of hope and pressure. HTC's former life as a major player in the Android space is no more, and recent financials … HTC was one of the first manufactures to to ditch the headphone jack, so it’s no surprise that the U12 Plus doesn’t come with one either. This time around, HTC’s not providing a USB Type-C to headphone jack adapter in the box. You’ll have to buy one from the company’s website if you want to use your wired headphones. That’s pretty annoying. It comes with a free pair of HTC’s wonderful USonic earbuds, just like last year. These are actually really nice earphones — they can analyze and tune audio specifically for your ear, and they feature active noise cancelation. This is a great phone for audiophiles, despite the lack of a headphone jack. BoomSound speakers make their return on the U12 Plus, and they’re great. They get super loud — almost too loud sometimes — and sound quality is pretty clear. If you’re into listening via wireless audio, the U12 Plus supports Qualcomm aptX HD and Sony LDAC codecs for high-res 24-bit audio. Let’s talk biometrics. The U12 Plus’ rear-facing fingerprint sensor is one of the fastest I’ve ever used. It’s much quicker to unlock than the Pixel 2. I’d say it’s right up there with the speed of the OnePlus 6 or any recent Huawei phone. It’s 2018, so it’s no surprise to see HTC implement its own face unlock feature. It is very fast. Like, once you glance at the lock screen, it’ll unlock almost instantly. There’s even a “low light” mode to help the phone recognize your face at night, but that requires making the display glaringly bright — not something many people will like when lying in bed. And no, I haven’t been able to fool the face unlock feature with a photo of myself. Battery The phone’s 3,500mAh cell should offer more than enough power for a full day’s use, but unfortunately that’s not the case. Most days I only get about three hours of screen-on time with a single charge, sometimes up to four hours. A couple hours of streaming podcasts or a few minutes of scrolling through Instagram drains battery much quicker than it should. That’s pretty atrocious by 2018 standards. Considering devices like the P20 Pro and Mate 10 Pro can achieve about seven or eight hours of screen-on time on a charge, HTC’s numbers aren’t anything to write home about. In terms of recent HTC devices, the U12 Plus’ battery is right in the middle. The U11 only came with a 3,000mAh unit, while the U11 Plus, despite its similar size to the U12 Plus, came with a 3,930mAh battery. The U12 Plus supports Qualcomm’s Quick Charge 4.0, though the included charger only supports Quick Charge 3.0. There’s also support for USB Power Delivery (PD). Despite its glass exterior, the HTC U12 Plus does not support wireless charging. Bummer. Camera The U11 and U11 Plus were two of 2017’s best camera phones, and the U12 Plus might be a contender for 2018. It doesn’t rival the Pixel 2’s camera — basically the current benchmark for smartphone photography — but it gets really close. This time around, HTC included two rear-facing cameras — a primary 12MP wide-angle sensor with an ƒ/1.75 aperture and a 16MP telephoto lens with an ƒ/2.6 aperture. Both cameras have both OIS and EIS. Don't miss Huawei P20 Pro review: The Galaxy S9 killer 40MP, the world’s first triple camera, 5X Hybrid Zoom, artificial intelligence in all the ways, and the most unique color on any smartphone ever. These are just some of the features Huawei is hoping will … The cameras can take astounding shots in well-lit areas, and very good shots in low-light settings. Low-light performance isn’t as good as the P20 Pro, but it is a step up from the U11. And that’s saying something! Note: The camera samples in this review are cropped. You can see all the full-res images at this Google Drive link. The rear cameras on the U12 Plus provide rich colors and tons of detail in most shots. If you’re buying this phone for the camera, you won’t be disappointed. Yet again, HTC made one of the best camera phones on the market. Let’s do a quick comparison with the U12 Plus, Pixel 2, and Galaxy S9. In the image below, you can see the Pixel 2’s photo on the left is a bit more saturated than the one from the U12 Plus. The U12 Plus took a great image, but the grass is a little greener, and the sidewalk in the back is darker and more true to life in the Pixel 2’s photo. Google Pixel 2 HTC U12 Plus The Galaxy S9’s photo on the left (below) is even brighter than the U12 Plus. Samsung’s camera brought out more of the highlights than both other phones. However, there doesn’t appear to be as many differences between these two photos as with the Pixel 2 comparison above. Samsung Galaxy S9 HTC U12 Plus HTC is slowly but surely but surely adding more features to its camera app. There’s still a pro mode if you want more control over your photos, as well as panorama, hyperlapse, and slow motion video modes. The camera app itself is a bit laggier than the Galaxy S9 and Pixel 2, but only by milliseconds — it’s barely worth mentioning here. I ran into a weird performance issue quite frequently where the U12 Plus drastically changes the exposure level when focusing on a subject. If the sensors pick up too much light, the camera app will flicker and crush all the blacks almost immediately. There’s no smooth transition between a well-lit setting and a low-light setting. I’m hoping this issue can be fixed with a software update, because it’s extremely annoying. Check out the video below to see it in action: For what it’s worth, I couldn’t reproduce the issue on any other phone. The dual-camera setup allows the U12 Plus to take portrait shots with a bokeh effect, just like most other phones. There are two different ways to take bokeh shots: automatically or manually. Automatic bokeh shots snap a photo and have HTC’s camera app decide how much to blur the background, while manual bokeh mode lets you adjust a slider before you take the photo. You can also edit the amount of blur after the photo has been taken, too. Bokeh mode Standard mode Bokeh shots turn out okay for the most part, but only if there’s plenty of light surrounding your subject. The phone has edge detection issues just like most other devices, but I haven’t run into as many problems as I would have expected. Photos taken with portrait mode also lack color — more so than any other phone I’ve used. On the video front, the U12 Plus can shoot in 4K at up to 60fps, and shoot slow motion video in 1080p at 240fps. No, the U12 Plus doesn’t offer higher frame rates in slow motion like the Galaxy S9, but 1080p at 240fps should be fine for most people. Also making its return is Sonic Zoom (formerly known as Acoustic Focus), which lets you zoom in on a subject while shooting video to amplify the subject’s sound. It works really well, and HTC says it’s 60 percent louder and 33 percent more focused this time around. The U12 Plus has two 8MP front-facing camera sensors, each with an aperture of ƒ/2.0 and an 84-degree field of view. There’s no OIS with the front cameras though, so you’ll experience some shaky video if you tend to vlog with your phone. Selfies taken with the U12 Plus are generally good, though it can be hard to capture a clear photo if you’re not completely still. There’s also a beauty mode built into the camera app that lets you adjust your face for smoothness, brightness, eye size, and face structure. This mode is way too intense, even at the lowest setting. You’re better off just turning this off altogether. Bokeh mode Standard mode I ran into a few more inconsistencies with the portrait mode on the front-facing camera. The phone struggles to tell hair and the background apart much more often than with the rear-facing camera. You’ll just have to make sure you’re in a well-lit area if you want portrait mode to look good. Oh, and there are new AR stickers built into the camera app, which can be used with the front or rear cameras. There are some fun ones like dogs, pandas, or cats, but also some questionable ones. Feel free to preview the camera samples below, or view the full versions on Google Drive. HTC U12 Plus camera samples Software If you’ve used HTC Sense in the past few years, you’ll already be familiar with the U12 Plus’ software experience. That would normally be a good thing — providing a consistent user experience over a range of devices for years on end — but I think Sense needs to change. It feels just like the software on the One M8, M9, 10, and U11. HTC Sense isn't bad, it's just stale. Plus, HTC doesn’t appear to have updated any of its own apps for years. The HTC Weather, Dialer, Messages, and Clock apps are all nearly unchanged from the versions that launched on the HTC 10 two years ago. The home screen is a bit different, but you still have the near-pointless BlinkFeed on the left that still only supports a handful of social media integrations. There’s also the HTC Sense Companion app, which attempts to give you restaurant recommendations, weather details, and a few other personalized suggestions based on where you are and what you’re doing. Sense Companion doesn’t show up all that often. When it does, it either recommends restaurants I’ve already been to, or it shows up at inopportune times. When you spend $800 on a phone, the last thing you should see are ads in the software. Blinkfeed social networks HTC Sense Companion The device runs Android 8.0 Oreo out of the box, not the newer Android 8.1, which has already been out for almost six months. We’re not sure why the company isn’t launching its phone with the latest version of Android, but it doesn’t give us confidence that Android P will arrive in a timely manner. The big new software feature on the U12 Plus is Edge Sense 2, an updated version of that “squeeze thing” that launched on the U11. This is one of the best parts of the phone. There are three new additions to Edge Sense this time around: smart rotate, smart dim, and a new double-tap gesture. Smart rotate will come in handy when you’re lying in bed looking at your phone. When the U12 Plus senses you’re holding it in portrait mode, a slight tip of the device will no longer accidentally trigger auto-rotate. This actually comes in handy quite often. Smart dim is one of those set-it-and-forget-it features. When you’re holding the U12 Plus, the screen won’t dim even if the screen timeout is up. Finally, you can now double-tap either side of the phone to perform a specific action. By default, a double-tap will trigger one-handed mode, which shrinks the screen to a much more manageable size. You can set the double-tap gesture to pretty much anything, though — it can launch your favorite apps, go back, launch a floating navigation bar, or trigger your default voice assistant. Double-tapping the side of the phone is nice and all, but I don’t think it’s a feature many people will use in the long run. Since this phone is glass, slippery, and will probably crack if you drop it, you’ll need to buy a case for your U12 Plus. You won’t be able to use the double-tap gesture if you get a case that protects all edges of this phone. Of course, all the other wonderful squeezy features have returned. A short or long-squeeze can launch any app of your choice, control music playback, launch the Edge Launcher, expand or collapse your notification shade, and more. I set my short squeeze to launch Google Assistant (I got used to it on my Pixel 2), and a long-squeeze launches the camera app (since it’s too hard to double-tap the power button). Amazon Alexa integration is here too, for those who aren’t fans of Google Assistant. We’d also recommend downloading the Edge Sense Plus app for even more customization. Specs HTC U12 Plus Display 6.0-inch Super LCD 6 2,880 x 1,140 resolution 537ppi 18:9 aspect ratio DCI-P3, sRGB SoC Qualcomm Snapdragon 845 Mobile Platform 2.8GHz, 64-bit octa-core GPU Adreno 630 RAM 6GB Storage 64/128GB MicroSD expansion up to 2TB with Flex Storage Cameras Rear cameras Primary: 12MP wide-angle HTC UltraPixel 4 sensor, ƒ/1.75 aperture, 1.4μm pixels Telephoto: 16MP sensor, ƒ/2.6 aperture, 1.0μm pixels Phase detection and laser autofocus, OIS, HDR Boost 2, dual-LED flash Front cameras Dual 8MP sensors, ƒ/2.0 aperture, 1.12μm pixels, wide-angle with 84-degree field of view Audio HTC USonic with Active Noise Cancellation HTC BoomSound Hi-Fi edition Hi-Res audio recording Hi-Res audio certified Qualcomm aptX HD, LDAC up to 32-bit high-resolution wireless audio via Bluetooth Battery 3,500mAh Non-removable Qualcomm Quick Charge 3.0 IP rating IP68 Sensors Edge Ambient light Proximity Motion G-sensor Compass Gyro Magnetic Fingerprint Sensor hub for activity tracking GPS, AGPS, GLONASS, Galileo, BeiDou Network 2G/2.5G GSM/GPRS/EDGE - 850/900/1800/1900MHz 3G UMTS - AWS/850/900/1900/2100MHz - HSDPA 42, HSUPA 5.76 4G LTE - FDD: Bands 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 12, 13, 17, 20, 28, 32, 66 - TDD: Bands 38, 39, 40, 41 - Support Cat 18 Gigabit LTE: downloads up to 1.2Gbps, uploads up to 150Mbps, up to 5CA and 4x4 MIMO (where supported - VoLTE and Wi-Fi calling (where supported) Connectivity USB 3.1, Type-C Bluetooth 5.0 Wi-Fi 802.11 a/b/g/n/ac (2.4 and 5GHz) with MU-MIMO NFC DisplayPort over USB Type-C HTC Connect AirPlay, Chromecast, DNLA, and Miracast Software Android 8.0 Oreo Dimensions and weight 156.6 x 73.9 x 8.7-9.7mm 188g Colors titanium black (ceramic black in some regions), flame red, translucent blue Gallery Pricing, availability, and final thoughts The HTC U12 Plus is available for pre-order at HTC.com and Amazon for $799 and $849 for the 64 and 128GB models, respectively. Pre-orders will ship out sometime in June. HTC also offers financing options on its website if you don’t want to shell out $800 all at once. It’s not available through any carrier partners, and no retailers are carrying it in the U.S. That means you can’t buy this phone in brick-and-mortar stores. That’s a shame for consumers, and will result in tons of missed sales for HTC. $800 is a lot of money for any phone — especially this one. It’s $150 more than the U11 was at launch. I don’t think it really offers enough for that increase. It’s also more expensive than the Google Pixel 2, and not too far off from the Samsung Galaxy S9 Plus. Of course, there are plenty of reasons to buy it. At its core, this is a solid high-end smartphone. It’s fast and powerful, has a great screen, an impressive camera, and HTC is actually trying to innovate with Edge Sense. It’s also one of the only high-end phones without a notch, if you care about that sort of thing. If you’re an HTC fan, you’ll love the U12 Plus. The U12 Plus is a great phone that doesn't surpass the competition in any meaningful ways. The problem is, this phone doesn’t surpass the competition in any area. What the U12 Plus gets right, its competition also gets right. There’s just no standout reason to buy this phone over the Pixel 2 XL, Galaxy S9 Plus, or even the LG G7 ThinQ. This is a good phone marred by a lackluster software experience, terrible buttons, below average battery life, and a price tag that’s too high. If you can get past those things, buy it. I don’t think you’ll regret it. For most people, I’d say it’s safe to pass on the U12 Plus. What are your thoughts on the HTC U12 Plus? Have you ordered one? Let us know your thoughts in the comments. Next: LG G7 ThinQ review: Bright, loud, and smart , via Android Authority http://bit.ly/2s4ruJJ

Mysteries of the Q Files #2 (The Wrong Address)

Brandon Barney precariously balanced his bucket of popcorn, cup of Red Vines, and Coke as he edged his way down the row of seats. He hated that the local theater had returned to a system of assigned seating for movies. The early birds got the best seats, and he was notoriously a late lark. At least he had gotten the coveted midway row, with the best view of the movie. The best place from which to watch Jurassic Park.

For a week, three classic favorites would be shown to pull in more patrons. Brandon was more than willing to oblige; he loved the theater and he loved a good dinosaur flick. And what better dinosaur flick could there be than the first Jurassic Park after all? Brandon happily settled in his seat, butt wiggling to find that point of optimum comfort. A few rows in front of him, there were some college aged guys teasing some poor, bespectacled nerds. Brandon thought he might even know some of them from his high school. He hoped that they would shut up by the time the movie began.

Unfortunately it was not to be.

Brandon still enjoyed the movie. Jurassic Park was just too good for some jerkwads to ruin with their incessant talking, texting, and pelting others with popcorn. Brandon allowed himself to be swept away by the music, laugh and cry with Dr. Grant as he sees the dinos wandering the park, cringe at the despicable Dennis, and cower before the might of the T-Rex. He stuffed his face with popcorn like a man gasping for air after diving after each epic moment. As the body count began, he knew that Dennis’ undignified and well-deserved death was fast approaching.

As the Dilophosaurus cornered Dennis and let loose its first spray of venom, black goo flew through the screen and hit the pack of nerds. Brandon dropped his popcorn in disbelief. No! It can’t be happening here! I thought it was safe to come! The victims finally began screaming as the Dilophosaurus screeched its victory and Dennis screamed his death throes. Pandemonium ensued.

An hour later, the paramedics had a total of seven victims carted off to the hospital to deal with their injuries. They were all in great pain, suffering loss of sight, and found it difficult to move. The police had taken into custody all five of the college bros for attacking people with the unidentified venom. Brandon had already given his statement to the police of what had happened. He had been yelled and laughed at before being asked to leave the premises. He knew it sounded unbelievable, but it was all true! The dinosaur had come to life and attacked through the screen. He had seen stuff like this before. He had lived with it for over a month now. By now he and his family were pros to surviving this kind thing.

He shakily got into his car and drove home. He wondered if his life would ever be normal again. What would happen to the victims and the falsely accused attackers? What about the theater? There were no answers.

Two days later in Washington DC, Agent Conturbatio addressed his partners Agent Miles and Agent Brown in their corner office, where the Q Files were sequestered from the rest of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. He handed them a small briefing and some official reports.

“We will be heading to Provo Utah. A most wondrous land of religious conspiracies and upheavals. And in the midst of the Mormon question, near the heart of their seat of power, there has been a most unusual attack.”

“I heard about this,” Agent Brown said crisply. “This is being labeled at a domestic terrorist attack. Five college students attacked their fellow movie goers with an unknown bio-chemical substance. The victims are still in various critical conditions in the hospital. This is a case presided over by Homeland Security. They basically have their case made out for them. Why would you want to look into this?”

“Look a little more closely at what I have handed you,” Conturbatio responded, pointing incessantly.   

Agent Miles hummed and then said skeptically, “You have given us a number of complaints from one Jackson household. Complaints to their cable company. They say that all the shows they’ve been getting are not correct.”

“You also gave us… Facebook posts,” Agent Brown raised an eyebrow.

“Read them!” Conturbatio smiled his Sphinx smile as he sipped his coffee.   

“This kid is complaining that all of his books and shows have changed. This makes no sense. And he comes across as super whiny,” Agent Brown said.

“I prefer at the moment to think of him as frustrated and unsure of what to do. He’s at wit’s end,” Conturbatio said. “It all makes more sense once you read the statement recorded by the police and written by the kid Brandon himself. Though, it was not included in the official report filed by Homeland Security.”

The other agents took their time reading through it, before Agent Miles said, “So this kid claims that what happened at the theater is the exact same thing that happens at his house. He thinks he is cursed and the one to blame for the attack? I’m sorry Conturbatio, but this does seem a weak lead. Especially considering what we have recently lived through.”

Conturbatio sighed and then said, “There’s even more. Did you miss the medical report?”

“Looking at it,” Agent Brown muttered. After a minute she said slowly, “The doctors are reporting that this poison used at the theater is unknown to them? They say it is similar to certain insect toxins, but it does have… reptilian elements. Like an odd compound of Gila monster and Komodo dragon bites. They wonder if the compound was inspired by the film Jurassic Park… They even think the incident is not a terrorist attack, but an isolated deadly prank.”

“Some prank if that’s the case,” Miles rolled her eyes. “So Conturbatio, if I am understanding your hints correctly, the venom that is afflicting the theater victims actually came from a dinosaur-”

“A Dilophosaurus,” the Sphinx interrupted.

“Yes, that. This dinosaur was brought to life by a curse that is affecting this kid, Brandon Jackson. You want to investigate this alleged curse and see where it leads the official inquiry.”

“Yes, it might save the futures of some innocent, though misguided, college town kids. It could be a step closer to solving the bigger mystery we uncovered just last month,” Conturbatio began excitedly.

“Let me cut you off right there,” Agent Brown said with a sharp gesture. “This is a case that is being led by the Department of Homeland Security. They won’t involve the Bureau. And if they did, it would be minimal and they won’t allow the Q Files to touch it; it would discredit their findings in both political and public spheres.”

“Ah, there we have a loophole,” the Sphinx replied over his cup. “Brandon’s statement was rejected by Homeland Security. He is not a part of their investigation at the moment. Also, we will be looking into the troubles at his house. That way, it is an entirely different job, and the Department cannot say anything about it. Also, after wrapping the Halloween Party Kidnapper case, the Director is eager to get us out of the office right now. He thinks we’ll attract too much attention to an odd case. Shake things up in the office. Well, I would like to the shake things up more with another solid case like the last one. I want to know what those monsters meant by the Doors. I want truth and justice! So, what do you think?”

“Honestly, Conturbatio? This is just before Thanksgiving! And Homeland Security might still think we are invading on their turf. It might take longer than expected. Plus, this Brandon reads like a real piece of work. It’ll be rough I think. Why not take it easy and get back the Director by not doing what he wants us to do,” Agent Brown listed off and argued. “If we even consider this case, let it rest until after the holidays.”

“Oh, I’ve already considered it, Susan. I have a game plan already laid out, and I know how we’ll handle Brandon.” He gave another signature grin. “We’re recruiting your son and his little friend Naomi once again.” He could have choked on the look Agent Brown threw his way.