@star-of-troy

"Diana speaks highly of you." Brianna carefully starts. "Are you sure you wish to join the fight?" She asks. She does not wish to rope anyone into the Justice League who didn't want to be there.

Justice League: Snyder Cut

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

Oh, the time has come my friends! Now, I originally did a review on Batman V.S. Superman and I didn’t care for it, so I deleted it. But before I start, I would like y’all to read this statement made by @verified-villain-fxcker - You can click HERE to read it. As I stated in my repost, I couldn’t have said it better. May Autumn Snyder continue to rest in peace. Let’s get started!

It’s been so long since I’ve made a post I can’t even remember how I do this LOL.

CLARK is outta there to say the least...

WONDER WOMAN and LOIS look flabbergasted, as they should... BRUCE as well.

Talk about a shock-wave scream 

All jokes aside, the hate that LEX has towards SUPERMAN is just to much energy to be giving to another person..

THESE BITCHIES ARE READY

why are they letting a minority approach the fucking the cube?!?!

*insert travel montage scene here*

                      Part 1 - “Don’t count on it, Batman.”

BRUCE knows damn well he’s talking to AQUAMAN. Let’s move this shit along lol

“Oh Gotham? How’s that shit hole?” - AQUAMAN

Ik these bitchies aren’t singing rofl

I’d sniff anything wore by Jason Momoa too.

“Maybe a man who broods in a cave isn’t cut out to be a recruiter.” - ALFRED

TALK YO SHIT ALFRED!!!!

AMY ADAMS can literally take my heart, step on it, throw it in a river and I still wouldn’t be mad. 

Here comes the lovely WONDER WOMAN!

broooo her hands were moving like Donnie Yen in Ip Man!

Fucked that entire ceiling up

Ofc the one who tried to touch it would make the stupid statement. 

STEPPENWOLF is really wildin’ out

Don’t look back! I hate it when they look back!!

These are some strong as women!

                             PART 2 - “The Age of Heroes”

“It’s toxic, that’s good.” - STEPPENWOLF

I can only imagine that this is how toxic people think. 

this dude really just threw that lil demon fella like it was nothin’ lmao

You know you're working at a job for too long when you say this is the first time in a while that they're going home early smdh

Now that shit was pretty lit....

SILAS thinkin’ shit I better check on my son. 

“You know a lot about monsters, don’t you? Especially how to make them.” - CYBORG

If that isn’t teen angst, then I don’t know wtf is lmao

Seeing Gal in this tomb makes me want to re-watch Wonder Woman 1 all over again!

DARKSEID ol’ trifflin’ ass

plopped him down like he was dirty laundry

God bless Willem Dafoe, this man is a fuckin’ legend!

“This world is divided. They’re a primitive species. Unevolved and at war with one another. Too separate to be one.” - STEPPENWOLF

DeSaad kinda looks like Doctor Doom in the Fantasic Four reboot lmao

GREEN LATERNS!!!!!!!!!!!! OH SHIT!!!!!!!!

we really need a Green Lantern Corps moving...

ZEUS + ARES = A Dynamic Duo When They Aren’t Being Dicks To Each Other

You know I feel bad for man because all they did was bury that shit in the ground rofl

                  Part 3 - “Beloved Mother, Beloved Son”

BARRY + IRIS = Love at First Sight 

The burger can’t be that good like damn. 

Bro the detail on his fucking shoes and the glass!!

ROFL PLEASE TELL ME HE TOOK THE HOTDOG FOR HIS DOG!?!? 

damn did the car really need to explode...

lol BARRY must really need the job lol

... I would’ve just played dead after he threw me against that rock...

Man of Steel probably has one of the best soundtracks not just for a superhero movie but just in general

Americans love their football!

I have this love-hate relationship with CYBORG being in the JL and not with the TITANS you know since he’s a kid, but he’s a college student in this one. 

Thank God DIANA spoke with VICTOR instead of BRUCE because I honestly don’t think he would’ve gotten him on board.

Everyone can literally zigzag zoom across this planet at undeniable speed except for BATMAN lol

Come on, VIC, help the lady out.

You know honestly, BARRY has a pretty cool pad for someone who's trying to get by paying for a Criminal Justice Degree. 

“A very attractive Jewish boy. Who drinks milk, I don’t drink milk.” - BARRY

“Fuck the World.” - CYBORG

dang Ik DIANA has every right to grieve over STEVE, but damn that man has her whipped!

“You’re looking at the hottest thing on Earth. The exact same thing I said to my prom date. She dumped me anyway.” - RYAN CHOI

Why does MERA have an accent in this but not in AQUAMAN?? (ik the answer)

DAAAYYUUUMMMN MERA TURNED INTO A WHOLE BLOOD BENDER!

                               PART 4 - “Change Machine”

CYBORG just glided over silently

STEPPENWOLF + WONDER WOMAN = EPIC FIGHT SCENE

Seeing BARRY move like that to stop the debris and to ping DIANA’S sword really is amazing..

But he should not be screaming like that LOL

How do you not remember the planet that’s habitants almost killed you?? Because if that was me, I wouldn’t have forgotten that shit at all!

 Would've held a big ass grudge until I could go back. 

“I know we’re all thinking the same thing right now. Who’s gonna say it? I’m not gonna say it.” - BARRY

WOOOAAHHH J’ONN JONES?! (forgot about that)

 “There are six, not five. There is no us without him.” - BRUCE

Damn, no faith at all 

                         PART 5 - “ALL The King’s Horses”

ICONIC DIALOGUE

BARRY - “Wonder Woman. What do you think, man? You think she’d go for a younger guy?”

VICTOR - “She’s 5,000 years old, Barry. Every guy is a younger guy.”

I would’ve kept swippin’ that ID like a cashier at Wal-Mart swippin’ a debit card.

They're movin’ a little too slow for me. Ik they’ve never been on the ship before, but I would’ve been zoomin’ through that entire ship just to hurry and get the job done. 

NOT THE PREGNANCY TEST

Damn, they couldn’t have at least picked up the photo??

The foreshadowing was spectacular! It will always amaze me. 

I’m sure Allstate will cover that person’s car...

Just when LOIS was about to move on. 

CLARK grabbed DIANA like miss me with that Rafiki shit.

I would’ve come back to my senses too after looking at Amy Adams. 

AQUAMAN + THE FLASH = A CONUNDRUM

DR. SILAS takin’ one for the team

                              PART 6 - “Something Darker”

As crazy as radiation is, it’s quite an amazing spectacle.

I wish this Justice League movie could’ve held off until we got some other heroes such as the Green Lanterns, Hawkgirl, and many others. 

Our generation was truly blessed to have an incredible actor as SUPERMAN, and we are not putting him to use!

JONATHAN sounds like President Biden lol

Alright, team?! Break!

AQUAMAN is totally enjoying this fight. He rode that Parademon like a surfboard.

AQUAMAN + CYBORG + FLASH = *THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN*

I swear every scene that WONDER WOMAN enters into does not fail to include the “Ancient Lamentation Music”. 

VICTOR hurry up and say “one” god damnnit!!

SUPERMAN COLD!!!!

Somebody needs to put this fight on WorldStar

BARRY = HE’S A RUNNA HE’S A TRACK STAHHHHARRR!!!

THAT WAS FUCKING IMMACULATE

The Unity  = The Three Bitchies

I bet DARKSEID will remember that shit now

                        EPILOGUE - “A Father Twice Over”

VICTOR = A Final Requiem

LOL VULKO and MERA look stressed tf out!

“Uh, I have too much to live for. And more important things to do.” - LEX

A cocky motherfucker LMAO

Alright, we’re back in this type of dream sequence. 

“Who have you ever loved?” - MERA

Uh, bitch his parents, Robin tf?!

Thank you, JOKER, for stating the facts for Ms. Fish-stick

 Oh shit, they let LOIS die, goddamn it!

HARLEY’S DEAD TOO?!?!?!

BRUCE LOOK SICK AF!!!

Well, the dream is over once again...

I just don’t see how people can live with all those fuckin’ windows. 

“Oh, and some have called me The Martian Manhunter.” - J’ONN

Alright...

________

Yes, the movie was long but what needed to be expressed was. As we already the Snyder Cut wasn’t supposed to be seen because a father simply wanted to grieve the death of his child. I’ll once again reiterate what @verified-villain-fxcker you don't have to like the film but at least give it the benefit of the doubt from its predecessor. For me, I did enjoy watching his version, but let’s be honest what he who shall not be named did was just fucked up. 

jesus, i see that the Snyder Cut of Justice League is available now from HBO... I'll admit I just want someone else to tell me if it's worth reactivating my HBO for it. I wanted to watch the movie when it came out (esp all the cute guys and Gal Gadot!) but... i got cringey cold feet. And I'm the guy who said thanks to you for the Supes/ HoloDad convo that was worth more than the movie itself. so.... i think I'm looking for justification to paw over Henry Cavill again?

I watched it and I, just, ugh, I mean, kudos to anyone who can vibe with this four hour monstrosity, but good god.

It looks better now, color grading is better and pacing is better, which is to say, it’s more coherent. Which in turn is to say it’s mostly the same muted ominous palette with occasional bursts of Amazon armor or Cyborg’s glowing LEDs, and a snappy energetic pace of a Bela Tarr movie about farmers in the 19th century slowly starving to death.

Overall, it’s kinda maybe an improvement over the theatrical cut, but mostly it’s a lateral move. Like, if you’re not particularly into DC film universe, Zack Snyder, filmmaking snafus, or Hollywood behind the scenes drama, you probably won’t be super entertained by a four hour epic with a story on par with the first Suicide Squad. Or maybe you will be. What do I know.

Like, something is fundamentally fucked up with your movie if you need four hours to tell its pretty simple, formulaic story in a coherent way.

Things are wrong on a deeper level, be it misunderstanding of your own story, or misplaced ambitions, or the fact that this particular universe is simply not prepared to handle a team-up movie. Because see, if you have successfully established your characters in prior films, you can just do quick reintroductions for new people in the audience and move on to fun stuff (see: Avengers). And DC universe technically has prior films, but Justice League wastes like half of its runtime reestablishing who’s who, giving everyone full-fledged scenes, and those, while kinda all revolving around the same setup of a world without Superman, those don’t really connect all that well.

Also there are bits of backstory and such, and those are given the same weight as everything else, like, imagine watching The Fellowship of the Ring and not being able to tell if it’s a Frodo story or an Isildur story because they get the same runtime and attention. And everything has one monotonously foreboding pace and tone (again, imagine that Mordor and Shire hit the same). The death of Superman awakens the mother boxes (actual good scene! also ridiculously over the top! but in a good way!). The Icelandic women watch Jason Momoa take his shirt off and burst into a dirge. Men in funny hats talk in gravely tones to Connie Nielsen in a funny hat. It’s all grim.

It’s kinda wild, really, the individual parts, but it would be cool if those were a tad betted stitched together. You end up watching a bunch of long, ponderous scenes which kinda make sense on their own, and are kinda all parts of this story, but don’t flow into one another whatsoever. For two hours. It’s kinda this movie’s first act.

(There are also super-nitpicky moments like Ma Kent and Lois sandwiched between Batman failing to recruit Aquaman and a Wonder Woman action scene. Like, I can see Martha and Lois mourning bits happening earlier right after Clark’s death, and then things kicking up a notch, Batman going on a mission, moving from Aquaman to another future member of JL pretty smoothly. Instead we go to Iceland, then watch Martha and her U-Haul being sad, then have a little Nick Cave as a treat in a Lois scene, and only then cut to Diana. Why. What kinda emotional trajectory is this bullshit.) 

And without a clear story or drama momentum propelling the whole thing forward, well, it’s kind of a slog. And some scenes are just gratuitous and should have been cut entirely, like Barry Allen’s introduction featuring what I can only describe as a Lindsay Ellis reference.

Cyborg is more front and center this time, and while I actually liked him a lot in the theatrical cut, I kinda feel like expanding on his backstory does him a disservice maybe? Like, the backstory is textbook level superhero backstory 101. And it takes forever, like everything in this version. I dunno.

Everyone else is pretty much exactly where they were in the theater version. Steppenwolf gets a bit more motivation and backstory, but still is Steppenwolf. I’m not sure if he was the problem really. The team not feeling like a team coming together despite all odds was, and it still doesn’t feel like a team coming together despite all odds. We fixed the problem that wasn’t there, great.

Superman’s resurrection makes more sense now, because it looks like the theatrical version was not entirely reshot, but more like carved from whatever footage there was. So now the mother box on top of a cop car is justified better, Superman flying over his monument flows way more naturally, but what precedes it is the interminable scene of JL members arguing the logistics of resurrection, the Flash running, Cyborg doing sciency stuff, and it’s, like, I see why it’s there, but it shouldn’t be there. I see why it was cut, but also everything after it is tied directly into it, sooooo. It’s a mess.

And Superman’s freakout is still not the most sense-making thing in the world. And collateral damage is higher this time I think? Which, great, didn’t have enough of that. Lois is there again being a sexy lamp tenuously tethering Superman to humanity.

(Those de-mustached scenes in the theatrical cut with Superman shot on a phone and cops fighting parademons themselves after Clark’s demise? Those were good scenes. They provided much needed context of Superman’s relation to mankind. Here we’re back to Lois shouldering that whole thing alone.)

Then the gang goes to fight a bunch of ZBrush CGI stuff in Russia or whatever, the end.

Look, it’s still basically the same movie you saw in theaters. It’s improved visually, if you’re into that Snyder doing his best Nolan impression style of prior DC movies, and it has fewer leaps of logic which came from tightening the whole thing, and there are some extra new bits here and there, but overall it’s the same story. Only longer. So, so much longer.

And it has an epilogue now, and it’s the worst.

IN RISE OF SKYWALKER, REY AND BEN SOLO ARE MORE IN SYNC AGAINST PALPATINE THAN YOU COULD EVER KNOW

In her 25-year career as a stunt double and now stunt coordinator, Eunice Huthart has helped embody some of the most memorable genre action sequences in cinematic history. Her work is featured in huge films like Children of Men, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Justice League, and she’s been the personal stunt double for Angelina Jolie since Lara Croft: Tomb Raider.

An integral member of the global stunt community, Huthart is also a crucial member and voice in the vanguard of women injecting their perspectives into the action oeuvre.

Most recently, Huthart acted as stunt coordinator for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, executing every aspect of director J.J. Abrams' vision, from Rey’s initial training sequence all the way to her final showdown against Palpatine with Ben Solo. With her support team of stunt professionals and fellow coordinators, Huthart used her decades of experience and creativity to craft set pieces that would make their own memorable impact, but also help cap an entire saga.

Audiences always remember an epic ending, so SYFY WIRE asked Huthart to break down Rey (Daisy Ridley) and Ben Solo’s (Adam Driver) momentous confrontation with clone Palpatine in the Sith chamber on Exegol in the last act of Rise of Skywalker.

From the advance prep with the actors to the grace notes that add emotional depth to the physicality, Huthart takes us through it all ...

PLANNING THE FINAL SHOWDOWN

"[From the start], J.J. had mentioned to me that he wanted the end scene to be so memorable, so I was just working on stuff. At the time, it [involved] Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) but we weren't allowed to even say the word. We would get in so much trouble.

He even had a code name, 'Thirteen,' and you were always supposed to use the code name. But I would forget that. [Laughs]

I'd be chatting with J.J. on a set and I'd be like, 'Oh, J.J., I had this great idea for Palpatine where he comes through that...' And then the whole set got quiet and would be staring at me. And I'd be like, 'Oh, bollocks.'

We were conceptually thinking of stuff way, way, way before we even started rehearsals for the movie. In January 2017, we had about a month of conceptual design. J.J. just left me to my own devices and we would design the moves and some kind of different strategies for the characters. One of the things I wanted to deliver is that Rey and Kylo Ren (Driver) progress with their Jedi powers. So we just accentuated that just a little bit more, which J.J. embraced.

What we did with Daisy is we made her lighter on her feet. We wanted her to be grounded, but we wanted her to be a lot lighter on her feet. I made her watch things like middle-distance runners to see how they move and how they just look so light when they run.

With Adam, he’s got a very unique stance. His hips are really tight, actually. I think it's from being tall for a lot of his life, so he must always be hunched looking down or trying to match people's height. We loosened up his hips so that he would look [even] taller, and [we set] his shoulders back. We were working on back exercises with his personal trainer, Simon Waterson. We were working on getting his stance looking different.

Then one of the other things we did is we made the lightsaber lighter in weight than what they were used to. So in their movements, all of a sudden they were moving this lightsaber very quickly, a lot more [quickly] than what they were in the other two movies. It was those subtle differences we wanted to embrace."

BEN SOLO'S BIG MOMENT

"I kept on at Adam saying, 'When you are Ben, how are we going to do it differently?' He's like, 'You got to give me time, you got to give me time.' In the meantime, we went back [to plan]. Because he was Ben, we threw in a few Easter eggs emulating things that Han Solo (Harrison Ford) did in some of the movies.

I think it was a bit of all of them, really. J.J. wanted a version. Adam wanted a version. I just wanted to pay homage. All I wanted is that when Kylo was Ben, that there was something slightly different about him. Just in his costume as well, it helped it a little bit. It was the undershirt so it looked a bit different and it made him look lighter. I think we did something different with his hair as well. So just that nuance to the eye would have made a change, and then Adam just did his own thing.

We did say, 'How about when Harrison does this and when Harrison did that in that movie, should we put [it] in?' Which he did.

I'd say it was predominantly Adam, really. He really researches his character. He comes in very, very well prepared as an actor, which again just makes my life very easy. I'd say that was all Adam, with me and J.J. maybe adding a little bit of salt and pepper, that's all."

THE DYAD IN TANDEM

"We considered [the dyad] all the time with each of [their] choreography. That was J.J.'s vision from day one.

Even in the very, very first draft of the script, that was always his vision, [that their styles] were always going to be intercut. We knew that. We just considered it when we were doing the choreography.

It was quite an easy process because we fully understood the vision that J.J. wanted. And I always knew the editor is just going to enhance it. You know, the impact of it is going to be so well-told on the screen.

We did [the separate fights] with the doubles. At that point, it was hard getting the actors because filming was so intense for both of them. So we did it with the doubles.

It was a well-worked-up sequence and it was planned that way. The plan worked well."

PALPATINE DRAINING THE DYAD

"I mean that was just all the actors, really. At that point, it was easy for Daisy to be exhausted. It was virtually the last day of filming, as well, so it was easy for Daisy to be very exhausted.

Whenever we choreograph a fight and whenever we're going through the beats, we're always very clear on where the character is and how much energy the character is bringing in. And that's where J.J. is great because he has a great manner in which he explains to the actors exactly what he envisions the character to be, and what they're doing. So it was very little from me, if I'm honest. It was a great compilation of J.J. directing the guys.

For example, while we were rehearsing, we would put Daisy and Adam — but on separate occasions — in a harness and we'd have a push-pull kind of thing. We'd have them fighting against that push-pull and saying, “This is the exhaustion you should be feeling at the end when you drop to your knees and you're done. This is how empty you are at that point.”

And they love it because they just embraced anything that we wanted to bring them so that they knew where they were with the characters. So, we did do R&D work with them, but I have to say, they were so good that they always found it, if that makes sense."

15 Superhero Games That Should Never Have Been Canceled

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We’ve been blessed with a surprising number of great superhero video games over the years. From Batman for the NES to The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction and Marvel’s Spider-Man, developers have often shown superheroes the love it took them years to consistently receive in other mediums.

Yet, I understand why it’s so easy to focus on the superhero games we almost got rather than the ones that we did get. There’s an entire section of gaming’s digital graveyard devoted to canceled superhero games, and it’s filled with projects that could have been contenders or, at the very least, would have given comic book fans everywhere the chance to spend time with characters that still haven’t gotten a proper video game adaptation to this day.

So brace yourself for disappointment as we look at what could have been and 15 of the most notable superhero games that should never have been canceled.

15. X-Women: The Sinister Virus

As the name suggests, X-Women was based on the idea that all the male X-Men team members have been incapacitated by the Genesis Virus. It’s not only an interesting concept that would have put characters like Storm and Jean Grey in the spotlight, but the project was even being developed by Clockwork Tortoise: the studio behind the excellent Sega Genesis version of The Adventures of Batman & Robin. This game seemingly had a lot going for it. 

So why was it canceled? Well, according to those who worked on the project in the late ‘90s, X-Women got off to a rough start that it never really recovered from. A combination of technical shortcomings, studio drama, and Sega’s desire to start moving away from the 16-bit era pretty much doomed this game before it ever had a chance to become more than some vague ideas. 

14. Spider-Man 4

Well, the name of this game should probably give you a hint as to why it was eventually canceled. It is, after all, hard to make a game based on Sam Raimi’s fourth Spider-Man movie when Sam Raimi’s fourth Spider-Man movie was, itself, eventually canceled. 

Interestingly, though, a working version of the Spider-Man 4 prototype was discovered on an old Nintendo Wii devkit in 2019. While it’s obviously not fair to judge a half-finished prototype too harshly, everything we’ve seen of this game suggests it would have been…pretty much just ok. It’s doubtful we missed out on anything better than a pretty good rental when this one was eventually canceled. 

13. Marvel Chaos

I’ve actually heard conflicting reports about this game over the years, but most accounts of its development suggest Marvel Chaos was supposed to be a Marvel fighting game modeled after the Def Jam series. Needless to say, that idea had a lot of potential. 

That makes it all the more depressing that nearly every report about this game’s development agrees that it was canceled simply because it wasn’t very good. EA decided to cancel this project rather than invest more money in it, which ultimately led to EA Chicago’s closure and the end of EA and Marvel’s partnership (at least for a time). 

12. Superman 64 (PS1)

Apologies for the confusing title, but it’s pretty hard to talk about this game without eventually getting around to the fact that it was essentially supposed to be the PS1 port of the infamously bad Superman 64. However, because the PS1 couldn’t quite handle some of the free-roaming mechanics featured in the N64 game, this port was essentially redesigned by developer BlueSky Software to be its own thing. 

Do you know what’s really funny? A recently leaked prototype of this canceled game suggests that it actually might have been kind of fun. At the very least, this port’s emphasis on linear combat looks a lot more enjoyable than…whatever Superman 64 was going for. In a world where most Superman games are bad, it’s a shame this one didn’t get the chance to at least be decent. 

11. Marvel Universe Online

An MMORPG set in the Marvel universe made by the City of Heroes team? How did this game ever get canceled when it’s seemingly a license to print money that might actually be more valuable today than ever before?

Well, some reports suggest this game simply wasn’t coming along as quickly as some hoped it would, but according to Microsoft, the game was ultimately canceled largely because they looked at how every non-WoW MMO on the market at that time was performing and felt that Marvel Universe Online had a slim chance of making enough money to justify everyone’s investments. 

10. The Flash

The rise of the open-world genre has also meant the rise of superhero fans wondering why more game developers just don’t put their favorite characters in an open-world playground. That formula has certainly worked numerous times in the past, and it could have also worked for this Flash game that developer Brash Entertainment worked on starting in the mid-2000s. 

While Brash went under in 2008, they took this potentially amazing project with them. Reports about this game’s development, as well as some early test footage, suggest it was an appropriately fast-paced open-world epic that dove deep into the Flash’s lore and even featured a kind of Sunset Overdrive-style navigation system that would have let The Flash pull off elaborate tricks. Someone really needs to mine this project for its best ideas and revive them in some form. 

9. The Dark Knight

We’ve talked about this game extensively in the past, but what you really need to know is that there was supposed to be a game based on Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight film and that game was shaping up to be pretty ambitious for a licensed title intended to debut alongside the film.

Unfortunately, The Dark Knight’s ambition may have gotten the best of it. The game missed its initial release windows and was ultimately determined to be more trouble than it was worth. While I’d still love to play this game, I don’t know if it would have been nearly as brilliant as Rocksteady’s Arkham series. 

8. Green Lantern (SNES)

Aside from cameos in DC fighting titles and the so-so Green Lantern: Rise of the Manhunters, the Green Lantern hasn’t exactly gotten a lot of video game love over the years. That makes it that much more of a shame that the Green Lantern almost starred in a SNES action game that was not only almost finished at the time that it was canceled but actually looked pretty good. 

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Actually, the game’s cancellation seemingly had nothing to do with the quality of the game itself. Reports suggest that the game was ultimately canceled due to the rise of the Sony PlayStation (and the start of next-gen gaming) as well as conflicts between DC and developer Ocean Software regarding how this game should handle ongoing aspects of the Hal Jordan storyline. 

7. 100 Bullets

Well, “comic” is probably more appropriate than “superhero” in this instance, but it’s hard to have this conversation without mentioning the 100 Bullets game we never got to play. Not only was this game based on a hot (at the time) comic property but everything we’ve ever heard about it suggests that it could have been a worthwhile entry into the post-Max Payne era of third-person action titles. 

Sadly, the decision to cancel this game ultimately came down to money. Publisher Acclaim Entertainment’s rapidly deteriorating financial situation spelled the end for 100 Bullets and most other projects the company planned to publish at that time. There was brief chatter about a possible revival, but nothing ever came of it. 

6. Ghost Rider (PS1)

In the late ‘90s, Neversoft Entertainment (developers of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater) started working on a Ghost Rider action/adventure game that combined elements of 2D and 3D design. It was basically a Castlevania-style action game from the studio that eventually brought us that amazing PS1 Spider-Man title. The only known footage of this title is pretty rough, but it certainly looked promising. 

In fact, this is another one of those instances where the game’s eventual cancellation has nothing to do with how good it was. Ghost Rider was supposed to be published by Crystal Dynamics, but reports indicate that Crystal Dynamics decided to get out of publishing before the game could be completed. Neversoft apparently tried to approach them to work out a new deal, but rumors suggest the company just wasn’t interested in funding a 2D action game at that time.

5. Justice League: Mortal

Remember that Justice League movie George Miller was supposed to direct that was ultimately canceled due to budget concerns? Well, it turns out that developer Double Helix once worked on a loose video game adaptation of/tie-in to that film. It was going to be a third-person action game with a DMC-like combo system that, you guessed it, was canceled around the same time as the George Miller Justice League movie. 

What’s really interesting about this one, though, is that elements of this project were eventually spun off into the Green Lantern: Rise of the Manhunters game we mentioned earlier. While that title offers a rough look at what this one could have been, reports suggest Justice League: Mortal was a much larger and more ambitious game. 

4. Daredevil

It’s hardly a surprise that Daredevil is arguably the most talked about canceled superhero game of all time. After all, an open-world Daredevil game that properly utilizes the character’s abilities while diving deep into his comic book lore is something a lot of fans would probably still play today.

With this one, though, the story isn’t so much that it was canceled but rather that the project made it as far as it did. Reports about this game’s development suggest that it wasn’t only an overly ambitious technical nightmare, but that the stress of working on this title led to a sharp decline in morale at developer 5000ft Inc’s offices and may have even resulted in a rise in substance abuse issues among the studio’s employees. Marvel eventually decided to pull their support for this one due to a litany of problems and disagreements. 

3. Gotham By Gaslight

Yes, there was a time when someone was bold enough to pitch a steampunk Batman action game based on the famous Batman story of the same name. Early footage of the prototype for that concept even suggests that its gameplay would have fallen somewhere between the Arkham titles and Bloodborne.

“Pitch” and “prototype” are ultimately the keywords to keep in mind here, though, as it sounds like Gotham by Gaslight never made it further than those very early stages. This feels like the kind of game that would be easier to find funding for today, but at this point, it sounds like it will forever be a “what could have been” situation.

2. Superman: Blue Steel

Throughout the…dodgy history of Superman video games, most fans of the character have cried out for an open-world Superman title that captures the awesome potential of the character’s abilities without reducing Superman to a wrecking ball. Well, developer Factor 5’s Superman: Blue Steel was supposed to be that game. 

In fact, Blue Steel lead designer Salvatrix recently shared new details about the game via Twitter that all confirm reports people had been hearing for years regarding this project’s potential. Unfortunately, she also confirmed that this game’s cancellation ultimately came down to the market crash that hit at the time and how it left the team without the resources and support they needed to complete their vision.

1. Spider-Man Classic

What you really need to know about Spider-Man Classic is that it was supposed to be the follow-up to the largely underrated 2009 game Spider-Man: Web of Shadows. The basic idea is that it would have seen Spider-Man and Wolverine team-up to battle new and old foes as Spider-Man relieved some of his most memorable moments from the comics throughout the years. Yes, it probably would have been amazing.

Spider-Man Classic was unfortunately canceled when developer Shaba Games was shuttered in 2009. While we ultimately ended up getting the incredible Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions as a result of this cancellation, I chose to believe there’s enough room in this world for both.

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Wednesday Roundup 8.11.2017

First of all, shoutout and special thanks to my patrons on Patreon, who for as little as $1 per project each month are helping me to grow and expand what I do here on renaramblesaboutcomics and all my other blogs and projects including starting up my own comic. So special thanks to  c. win, Erin Jenne, Iz, Keerthana Krosuri, OwlKnight, Rebecca Luu, and Steph. 

Now, for this week in comics we have another full and healthy week of comics coming out from almost all the major publishers and then some! But how will they survive my new FIVE STAR RANKING SYSTEM. i mean it’s not that big of a deal, it’s the same as any five point rating scale but the point remains.

Tesladyne’s Atomic Robo and the Spectre of Tomorrow, DC’s Batgirl and the Birds of Prey, DC’s DC Essentials Catalog 2018, DC’s Justice League Day, Viz’s My Hero Academia, Marvel’s Old Man Logan, Dark Horse’s Overwatch, Marvel’s Runaways, DC’s Superman - Action Comics, IDW’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles/Ghostbusters II, DC’s Titans, IDW’s Transformers: First Strike

Tesladyne’s Atomic Robo and the Spectre of Tomorrow #1 Brian Clevinger, Scott Wegener, Anthony Clark, Jeff Powell

To say I have been curious about how Atomic Robo was going to deal with the current political and scientific landscape is sincerely an understatement, because I have been just sitting on edge, wondering if we would be getting another historical arc or at least placed in the not-so-distant past for context. After all, here in America that hasn’t really been an anti-science climate quite like there is right now. At least not within my own lifetime. 

But, of course, I should have had far more faith in the foresight and boldness that Clevinger and Wegener have always shown in their craft. Which, of course, is a perfect description of their ongoing science-adventure epic Atomic Robo, because for as scientifically and fiction minded as the pulp adventures are, the fact that it is art is undeniable.

Art is about communicating concepts and ideas, and as scientifically minded as Robo and his team of scientists at Tesladyne may be, and as much as science based nerds like myself appreciate how the science is not bent or broken entirely for the sake of the storytelling, it is masterful at portraying science in a way that is accessible and, most important of all as it relates to Robo, humanizing. 

While it’s a slow start to this new arc, what really drives it home is Robo’s frustration and sacrifice for the sake of his dream, and how ignoring the human elements has allowed the politics and general climate of the world around him to drown out his work and inhibit him. Even if the only insight we get to the hurdles is his humorous annoyance with the desert’s self-proclaimed HOA that is between himself, Elon Musk, and Sir Richard Branson, the imposing and overly restrictive hold of Red Tape and permit seeking is imposing all throughout the issue, even for the major parts of it center more around the wily antics and return of young Foley. 

And of course, it wouldn’t be Robo without major hinting toward something larger and unexpected to come. 

It’s not the most perfect introduction to an arc, especially not for Atomic Robo which has at times had some of the most engaging first issues of almost any long form comic I’ve seen, we are talking about a comic where the electricity-driven skeleton of Thomas Edison is a villain. So it is just short of the high bar that it has set for itself, but even falling short Atomic Robo manages to be one of the best comics of a given week. That for me is justification enough for a solid 4/5 Stars.

DC’s DC Essentials Catalog 2018

Straight up, I am not a fan of Catalogues and I’m definitely almost never in agreement with the books they choose for each of the catalogue’s sections. So it’s not like I’m going to be less than truthful with this guy. 

But my harshness is probably best explained as to why I’m being harsh, after all most people would not care that much about what is essentially a free throw-in with someone’s pull list in the week. And, honestly, my answer there is that because it’s free, because it’s promotional and being pushed onto new readers, its viability as a good entry level or at least how helpful it is as a guide for interested new readers, increases exponentially here. 

So how does it work on that level, especially with the release of the Justice League movie looming over DC currently? How likely will this persuade a new reader to start getting more submersed into the comic books it’s trying to represent?

Annnnnd the answer there is not great? 

There’s a short comic at the start, introducing the Justice League and wow is it a testament to how out of touch the lineup is with the increasingly diverse culture of nerds and comic book fandom. Five beefy white guys, one white woman, and one black man. Like it’s seven years into the new DC Universe (technically) and you couldn’t trade anyone here out for some more, less milk toast characters by this point? Hal Jordan couldn’t be traded out for any other Lanterns at all? It’s annoying. And at least something the Justice League movie will be at least somewhat better at thanks to the very awesome casting of Jason Mamoa as Aquaman.

But that’s still only a small part of this issue. The rest of it, and by that admission the vast majority of this digital freebie is dedicated to the “essential reading” of DC as of 2018. And much like the lineup of their premiere team, DC has repeatedly proven in the last couple of years that they... don’t know what to suggest. Most notoriously there was the Essentials collection where they literally had a section for each of the male Justice League members and like. One book for Wonder Woman. That was embarrassing and if we had anything remotely similar it would be our first 1 star of the new rating system, but it’s honestly a much longer, much more thorough and comprehensive version of a reading list for DC and in that way, while still not a “standard” or “satisfactory” example of how to really capture the attention of new fans, and its choices aren’t always the most coherent alongside each other, it doesn’t completely fail at its mission by my estimate. 

DC’s Batgirl and the Birds of Prey (2016-present) #16 Julie Benson, Shawna Benson, Roge Antonio, Marcelo Maiolo

The Benson sisters already have to win me over after the first arc of this series which I found terribly disappointing so far as uniting the team that I know and love as the Birds of Prey and not really being on board with the last issue for all the reasons I said in this review.

So I was somewhat apprehensive from the start but, honestly, if you follow this blog for a while you know I’m a sucker for giant superhero team-up storylines and am really willing to hold my sense of disbelief a lot more than even what I regularly do for comics. 

....

So why are the villains of this team-up literally militarized paper feminists in.... well, in the United States the first thing that comes to mind when a lot of white people wear uniformed cloaks with hoods and masks is the KKK, of course these masks are old plague doctor masks that double for some kind of... gas. Okay. 

But like. Considering the current environment in not just the US but the whole world... just putting into words “the real problems in the world right now are radical feminists” here and having our superheroes literally say “Not all men in Gotham”... If I’m being generous this is a whole lot of shady and uncomfortable. If we’re not supposed to read deeper into this, then why the surface level imagery and blanket statements that so immediately bring to mind current issues. If we’re supposed to read deeper why does it feel so unrewarding with none of the characters having enough time in a team-up this large to really experience the events any deeper than surface level.

And there’s still not even a mention of how this event would effect trans men or women, or how this disease is even supposed to be effecting only people who identify as men to begin with. It’s apparently scientifically based according to this issue and the continued mention of medical investigation from Ivy and the villains themselves. If someone claims it’s due to the Y chromosome then trans and nonbinary people would be effected differently on a case by case basis, giving the medical community a pretty quick idea of what was happening. Not to mention that XXY women and men, XYY men, XXX women, and so on should be effected differently. Now I’m not expecting a comic book writer to write a genetics dissertation for research on a comic idea but if they want to be a mature or adult comic in subject matter, then high school biology should not immediately tear their entire plot apart.  

I just. Really feel like this book wanted an all-female superhero team-up and thought there needed to be justification for why the men weren’t around instead of it just.... being unsaid as to why there weren’t men on the team. And things have spiraled out from there. On top of that, the art is not strong enough to regain the things that are lost in what is a clustered and puddle deep storyline. 

These sorts of team ups are best when the subject being dealt with is not so politically or culturally charged, or when there is very clearly a reason for each of the present characters to be in the exact positions that they are in. And so far this crossover hasn’t really managed to believably pull this off. 

DC’s Justice League #1 - Justice League Day 2017 Special Edition Geoff Johns, Jim Lee, Scott Williams, Alex Sinclair

This issue is really a sampler for the larger issue that is Justice League (2011-2016) #1 which... I’ll be honest, has not aged the best of the Justice League origins that I commonly think of, and really the fact that this sample contains pretty much no Wonder Woman or Flash, it’s hard to really see why outside of this scene between Batman and Green Lantern which has become somewhat iconic in the superhero community, I don’t really get. 

I mean, the scene itself is so anti-climactic specifically because it ends with Batman stealing Green Lantern’s power ring to prove that Batman Is Always The Best Period. And if you’re of my persuasion in the comic reading landscape, that probably means you just rolled your eyes as much as I usually do at those sentiments 

This is probably okay for a new, entry level fan to pick up for free, but personally I feel like I’ve picked up this particular freebie now five times for different FCBDs or other marketing pushes DC has had in the past six years and it’s just not enough that I’d consider it worth more than sacrificing the literal $0.99 it would cost you to pick up the whole issue on the same website.

Viz’s My Hero Academia (2014-present) Vol. 10 Kohei Horikoshi

I have been making more of an effort lately to keep away from any spoilers to My Hero Academia, be it the anime or the manga, and while it’s not always the easiest thing to do on a content aggregator like tumblr, it’s an effort I’m particularly happy with myself for doing because I love this series. And one thing I love about this series is how it seems so familiar and yet, time and time again, I am floored by the changes and impact it makes through those choices. It’s honestly astounding. 

And for this volume, that wait is paid off because of the unique choices that are made throughout it in dealing with Katsuki Bakugo, Deku’s childhood friend and rival who seems to be, easily, the most surface level and simple of the class of 1A, especially among Deku and his friends, and yet is continuously shown throughout here to have something much better and greater about him.

And while Katskui and his choices which ultimately subvert and turn on its head the trope that he seemed to so easily be fitting into throughout the previous nine volumes of content are the most interesting and engaging storyline of this book, he’s by far not the only one to shine in the volume. Deku, of course, being our main gets lots of great moments and we get to see him really develop his skills  and instincts as a hero, but the entire gang of 1A classmates in this volume are really shown to grow from the characters we met back in the first volume of the story. They are reckless without completely losing sense and reason, they’re cautious without allowing written rules to inhibit them from what they know is right, and more than anything, they are all coming to recognize that something special in each other and especially in Deku and Katsuki which the two of them have been able to see all along. And it’s honestly all rather wonderful.

This volume also has more attention paid to the adult heroes and what they’re doing the serious responsibility they take in protecting and saving their charges. Which is a bit of superrealism sprinkled in this story that really elevates it above a lot of stories meant for young readers, especially shōnen. 

The art’s always great, the story is not like anything else you’ll read East or West, and there honestly just aren’t characters like this you’ll see in other stories all with as much care and development as they have in My Hero Academia and that’s part of why it is so special and deserving of 5/5 stars.

Marvel’s Old Man Logan - Marvel Legacy Primer Pages  Robbie Thompson, Andrea Sorrentino

Of the freebie samplers, the ones that I tend to be the most interested in, at least for this week, are the ones that offer something additional to the things we’ve seen before. And in the case of Marvel’s “Legacy Primer Pages” marketing campaign, that’s exactly what the aim to do and actually achieve. 

These are good little samples because not only are they uniquely written for this event and with this very intent behind them, but they are more importantly written by a writer I already really enjoy, Robbie Thompson, and all have different artists which not only tap into the style of the books being promoted bout also have a unique flare compared to the other “Legacy Primer Pages.”

In this case, I’ve never been particularly interested in the Old Man Logan books, as I’ve never been the biggest Mark Millar fan, but this is definitely a sample which gives me a good enough taste of what the universe is about and what Logan’s history is in it that I feel like I could readily pick up the next issue. I won’t. But I could. And that’s a delivery on the whole premise of the series. 

Even if it’s super annoying that these things are 3 pages long.

A star earned for each page, I say.

Dark Horse’s Overwatch (2016-present) #13 Michael Chu, Ryan Benjamin, Anthony Washington

It’s been far too long since I read a good comic with Ryan Benjamin on art, it’s been sincerely missed in my usual comic appetite. As I’ve gone over quite a few times, the Overwatch comics Blizzard has been putting out has really gone the extra mile in helping someone like me who likes Overwatch but doesn’t really play the games to feel really immersed into the world they’ve created. And it’s in that way that I really enjoy reading these.

This whole issue seems a lot more plot driven than the rest of the comics, it seems to be in the present timeline, it’s showing the moves being made by the Talon operatives after the events we’ve seen unfold in previous issues and in the cinematics Blizzard has provided. And just overall it seems to have a much tighter schedule with a lot more direction than what has been expected.

It’s a little concerning to me that so many of the Talon operatives are heavily pulling from the more diverse characters in the franchise, but that’s not something I suspect rests squarely on the shoulders of this issue, obviously, but it is something I can look toward the writer of this issue, and the overall creative head of Overwatch’s story as a whole, Michael Chu. And with Chu writing it also makes sense why this feels a lot more plot driven. 

All fo this aside, it’s a very nifty, very cool spy thriller from the perspective of the team of Bond villains, which has tight control of the characters and dialogue, and a wonderful use of a great artist whose style is fun yet very believable and action oriented. 

Marvel’s Runaways (2017-present) #3 Rainbow Rowell, Kris Anka, Matthew Wilson

When you’re really analyzing and critiquing something, one of the things you have to ask yourself is what more could I ask of it? And I think when you’re torn about your personal, subjective impression of something and the quality of what you’re looking at, it’s important to ask that question and really analyze how much of a difference that can make. 

For me, that question is particularly interesting in Runaways because while I’lm personally fairly new as a fan compared to some, I am still someone who has read through and fully submerged myself into the history of the characters up to this point and have a vested interest in seeing how they end up as characters and as a story outside of just “where are they now” more than just someone who was being newly introduced to these characters from this issue forward. And in that way, I can honestly say that Rainbow Rowell and Kris Anka have put together one of the most beautiful, slow paced, and yet completely rewarding personable comics I have read in a long time.

There’s not a lot of action, there’s an ongoing plot and a sense of danger and risk for our heroes, certainly, but at the end of the day the driving force of this plot and this narrative as a whole is and will remain the question “can they still be a family?”

And in that way, as much as my apprehensions remain, as much as my personal biases on where characters should go or should have gone, are completely overwhelmed by how much thought and care is put into every conversation, every action, every beautiful panel of this comic. And it is also in this way that I am just so blown way and impressed by the insight this comic has.

There are nitpicks, like I think that Karolina should have probably been more receptive and affectionate with Gert even through her surprise, but it’s hard for me to get nitpicky when I’m just so glad a book so much as exists, and can say it’s one comic that I look forward to immensely each and every month. 

Definitely glad that this comic is continuing to earn every ounce of my support, 5/5.

DC’s Superman - Action Comics (2016-present) Vol. 4: The New World Dan Jurgens, Patch Zircher, Ian Churchill

I remember back when I was reading every bit of comic book criticism and review that I could find a few years ago, one analysis that I found profoundly changed the way I evaluated comics and how I chose to consume them, was coming across an analysis of the culture around comics, and that was that for most committed comic book fans, which I most certainly qualified as, aren’t really focused looking at individual comics as narrative fiction, but like reading a newspaper, keeping peripherally aware of things that are happening within a given universe.

Now, the crux of that analysis was that readers who do this should stop and not feed the beast, opting instead for comics which are wholly good and further narrative and critical thinking. 

But, I’ll be honest. I don’t really look to do that with comics either. I absolutely understand and support using comics as a means to relax, a comfort. A romp. And if you read certain comics like newspapers.... hell, you’re still reading more than like half the entire planet each week. I don’t read the parts of the newspaper I don’t have an interest or investment in, and I don’t read comics I’m not at least interested in as well. 

I just drop them and stop buying them. 

But there are hundreds of comics published every week in America alone, and to buy and keep up with all of them on an issue-by-issue basis, especially if the vast majority are “standard” or lower, doesn’t make sense to me. If a comic isn’t something I “have” to have each week, I move it to a trade wait and buy it that way. And I go over this now not because I want to convert everyone to my way of reading comics, but as an explanation for why certain comics I’m obviously enjoying are moved to this latter experience compared to their “peers”

For me, the events of Action Comics was something I was peripherally aware of through other comics and context clues, but wouldn’t read for myself until I got enough of a story to really sit down and read all together. 

Which is a good thing, because as with the common theme of this week, long form arcs are super difficult to do well and so it’s more powerful to read a whole story together once it’s done. Action’s “The New World” story does that, but what it does even more than that is it reestablishes a context for the Super Family in the Rebirth universe. 

The start of this issue, really the entirety of the first issue of this arc, is dedicated to showing us the new timeline with retconning the older Super Family and Jon’s birth and growth into the current DCU events. And this is one of those issues that by itself, if I had paid full price for what ended up being a wiki entry to the new universe, I probably would have been super ticked. But in a volume like this, with a whole new story set up by it and cause for moving forward, I find this to be a really good way of telling new readers and friends interested in Superman to read this volume and get a small history for context before moving forward.

And let me just say, as confusing and over the top as the Superman mythos has gotten in the past six years? This was a good call on the writers’ part here. Even if I think that first issue definitely suffers from exposition fatigue. 

Now, unrelated to my scoring, I will say that this does upset me as a long time Superman fan because they bought back one of my absolute favorite characters from the previous universe, Chris Kent, but then completely undid everything lovable about him, made him a generic looking foil badguy to Jon’s Superboy, and for the time being seem to have no plans on having his heartbreaking and heartwarming story of finding an adopted family that loves and accepts him in Clark and Lois be revitalized and used to really meaningfully change the bad handling he received less than a year after his invention before. And it’s really disheartening and depressing on a fan’s behalf. 

All that said, this is a solid comic and a pretty easy jumping on point for new and old readers alike. It cleans up a lot of the continuity confusion that has been brought on in the last two years for the Super Family, and gives us a lot of solid team ups within the family. So for me, this is a good 3/5 stars.

IDW’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles/Ghostbusters II (2017) #2 (of 5) Erik Burnham, Tom Waltz, Dan Schoening, Luis Antonio Delgado

Sometimes you enjoy a property so much that it becomes difficult to look at it with fresh eyes, and sometimes even worse that leads into a point where it takes a very special, a very extraordinary talent to come by and present you with something from that property that not only feels new and refreshing, but in many ways can almost feel like it’s a coming home of sorts. 

When I read Burnham’s Ghostbusters or Waltz’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I genuinely feel like it’s coming home to two of the teams that kind of helped me, like they helped a lot of kids, grow a real sense of self and exploration from a young age. There’s a line that’s sometimes difficult to explain to people when it comes to fiction but especially with comics and something as outlandish as the superhero and sci-fi genres, where the line is drawn between things that push the line for things to be ridiculously stupid into ridiculously amazing, but I think if there’s any comic that I would use it could very well be this issue. 

The thing is, I mentioned before how I try to always think of a comic as being someone’s very first, and whether or not that would really provide them with anything that would entice a new reader to continue on. But I think there’s another perspective on that which can be just as relevant. And that would be the complicated question, if a comic has already found its audience, can it continue to reward and interest that audience?

And while I would always warn new readers when a comic doesn’t really meet the prior on average, I’m also comfortable with approaching a comic that knows its audience and, as a part of that audience, evaluating what I have gotten out of an issue. In that way, I feel like Ghostbusters/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II is able to tap into something even decades-spanning properties like DC and Marvel are always juggling and struggling to maintain. It has an audience that Burnham and Waltz have personally been entertaining for almost a decade now, and so their main interests now are in rewarding those fans with the most payoff, the most development, and the most new spins on familiar faces that they can possibly give. And I think this is just another in a long list of examples of how they do that incredibly well.

This isn’t the only comic this week which is in the middle of a story, obviously, but I think of the available comics this one does the best job of doing something that I look at when examining an issue on its own. I ask myself, going into this issue from the last issue, what stakes are there and where (mentally or physically) are all the characters when the story starts, and do those things change by the end, and by how much. Sometimes, in a weak and drawn thin premise of a comic, those things don’t move the dial for the three or four middle issues that the story has, and it’s one of the reasons I am incredibly critical of long, 5+ issue storylines. They very rarely seem to fully payoff for what time and effort you invest in them by this measurement, especially in those middle issues.

Ghostbusters and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are not those kinds of series, and their crossovers reflect that comfort that their teams bring to the table for these events. There’s an understanding of how much change is needed to reward the readers, and even if this is one of the incline issues taking us on our way to the climax very early in the story, it still manages to focus on the things we need to change within an issue. 

In this case, that is character development and it’s something that these creators do fantastically well even with a huge ensemble cast. We have a lot of touching and vital moments for each of the characters, seeing the different groups bond and play off each other. It’s more than just the eggheads, the leaders, the comic reliefs, and the hotheads (respectively) together, it’s about taking those personalities and having them play off each other in a way that makes the characters reflect on themselves and the issues they’re not addressing in their personal arcs without being heavy handed. 

Basically, if I could, I would teach a graduate level course on how these IDW comics understand how to make an ongoing comic’s individual issues maintain story structure while still contributing to an overall narrative. 

It falls short of perfect, I still think it would be very difficult to tell someone new or fledgling in either property to pick it up, and I think that for a lot of people waiting each week, even it’s only a week, can be difficult with the price of comics these days, but it also feels so completely worth it for those of us already on the train.

DC’s Titans (2016-present) #17 Dan Abnett, Minkyu Jung, Mick Gray, Blond

A lot of people over the years have come along to debate me on my assertion that monthly comics should fix their publication method or write comic arcs to be four issues or shorter, and while that’s never been a position I deter from it’s one I am more than willing to hear other opinions are. There are good examples of stories that go on for longer. 

But most of the time they don’t. And you end up with pretty run of the mill issues that take up the majority of the middle of the arc and more take away from the momentum of the storyline that had been building than anything else. This isn’t a complete condemnation of this arc, but it is a point I’m willing to stand on for this issue. 

We start this issue with the exact same circumstances that we ended it in. Wally I is dead and Wally II is... around. Evil Future Donna reveals herself as the leader and the ultimate betrayer (more on that in a second). Mel and Gnarrk are still mind controlled. Other villains from the Titans’ pasts are also fighting for Donna. 

Annnnd that’s it. This is the ultimate example of a filler issue that takes away from the momentum that had been building the entire time before all this happened. None of the characters are in a drastically different place, none of the personalities are changed, none of the circumstances are changed. t’s a lot of exposition and evil pondering that gives us... what is basically the cliffhanger from last issue -- is Donna evil? Will Wally live? 

The stakes have not changed and thus this issue doesn’t add to the story. If anything, issues that pull stunts like this, basically pushing the pause button for another month, add to the reputation comics have that they have no real direction or conclusion to offer, that they just are endless cycles of the same game. And I’m saying that as a fan of not only comics, but of this series and this storyline. And it really doesn’t help its case that it all but flat out states a reference to “Who Is Donna Troy?”, a storyline that on one end of the spectrum could be a perfect example of a one-shot story that is self-contained and gives a change to the narrative and characterizations it touches... and on the other end of the spectrum is an example of convoluted retcons, disappointingly missed stakes, and a generally forgettable multipart “epic” that bit off more than it could chew. So we really could be barreling toward one side or the other. 

For what it’s worth, I’m not at all saying that this is a terrible issue, but it’s a perfect example of why my skepticism toward comics which stretch stories to 6 issues or longer has grown as thick and impenetrable as it has. Issues of a comic series, like episodes of an ongoing TV show, are best served when you can either watch them on their own, or have demonstrably changed the stakes from the start of the issue/episode to the end, making it matter whether or not it is placed before or after the previous part of the story. 

It also doesn’t help that this is the third-ish twist on the “Who Betrayed The Titans” thing they’ve had going for this story arc which has.. basically just been using as many twists as possible to try to combat the Information Age and how covers and solicits are released months in advance, making the element of surprise so questionable. Why else would they throw off the trail by having the traitor be Lilith and then maybe Dick and then maybe Roy and then, oh wait all the clues and lead up had been red herrings it’s Donna.... from the future... who turned evil because everyone died.... and now she wants to kill them earlier... Oh, comics.

On its own, this comic is a solid, standard issue, 3/5, but it’s going to contribute to the overall story arc feeling lax in pace and honestly stretched pretty thin in order to make it to that oh-so-desirable trade length.

IDW’s Transformers: First Strike (2017) #1 John Barber, Guido Guidi

It feels like over the past two years, as I’ve excitedly expanded my library for the IDW Transformers comics, I’ve had to deal with the ongoing struggle of following my favorite characters as they jump around between the various titles, and no two characters probably personify that more than Arcee and Kup right now. While I haven’t picked up Revolutionaries yet as I wait for the trade, I’ve enjoyed the general premise of the book from a distance and wondering if/when we’ll get more tie-ins to Sins of the Wreckers, which is where my love for Arcee and Kup has really been fostered. 

This stand alone issue for First Strike is in itself fairly interesting. Even without a lot of the background from Revolutionaries or even the more recent arc of Optimus Prime, I followed the characters and relationships pretty easily. A good part of that is thanks to how John Barber’s consistent voice across all of the Hasbro line of properties has led to a real feeling of being able to follow the characters first and filling in for the storylines after. Which is a really good note for a multi-series shared universe like Transformers (and many other IDW properties) have become.

But that doesn’t entirely make it an easy read for newcomers jumping into the adventure. There is a lot with Blackrock and that whole nonsense (aka the main crux of the issue) that was really lost on me, and that cheapens the issue significantly when it goes for a “power of friendship” basically ending like this one does. It’s something that may very well easily be rewarding for more avid followers of the Revolutionaries storyline but not so much for my own limited perspective. That’s not necessarily a problem with the issue so much as it is for me.

What is a problem for the issue is the more inconsistent aspects of the art. Now, any Transformers fan is probably pre-packaged with a high tolerance for inconsistent proportions. That’s.... just part of the deal when you’re a Transformers fan. But even with that in mind, the changes characters would have with their sizes in this issue was really getting to me, especially with the humans serving as a consistent marker for height throughout. 

I also felt that while the character art wasn’t bad, the tones and colors felt too bright and inconsistent with the surroundings, often not shifting shades even as the environment changed, which probably speaks more to the amount of time crunch here and not the actual quality of the digital colorists. But it is still pretty distracting even if you can’t exactly put your finger on why the characters seem to stand out so much to you as you read. 

In general the issue is standard in a lot of ways, so I can’t say it’s the sort of jump on point that if you don’t love Transformers already you’ll be jumping over the moon for or something. It’s a good stand alone for a larger appreciative whole. And for me that’s a pretty solid, if just below exceptionalism, 3/5

Hey there! We finish up another pretty stellar week in comics with lots of stories and characters, and another pretty great time from yours truly. And if you enjoy these write-ups or anything else I do whether it be the Roundups, my Rambles, my personal creative projects, or you’re interested in my upcoming podcast, you can help contribute through donations to my Ko-Fi, Patreon, or PayPal. For as little as $1 per project, you make all of this possible.

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My Favorite Songs of 2019

2019 was a fantastic year for music, but then again every year is. We as listeners have been blessed with abundance, and tasked with the delightful work of sifting through freshwater to find gold. This year, the most reliably golden genres were West African pop and West Coast Rap. Go figure.

The following represents my favorite 100 songs of the year. My only rules: 1) one song per lead artist (a lucky few earned multiple placements through the “featured artist” loophole).

Below are the write-ups (everyone’s favorite part) and stay tuned for my albums list, coming next week. Don’t forget to scroll all the way down for a Spotify playlist of the full list!

25. Desperate Journalist - “Satellite” - A sweeping, emotional rock song by a veteran rock band that can uncork one of these in their sleep. What makes this one special? The dynamic changes in the pre-chorus, the soaring guitar solo, and the passionate performance from lead singer Jo Bevan.

24. Jacques Greene - “Stars” - A brilliant bit of ambient techno that evokes the seminal electronic classic “Little Fluffy Clouds,” by The Orb. Instead of desert clouds, the anonymous female narrator describes a pastoral dream about the night skies of her youth. A transporting piece of music that should’ve been twice as long--five minutes is a cruelly short lifespan for this kind of bliss.

23. Rosalía - “Con Altura” ft. J Balvin - After the brilliant and singular El Mal Querer demonstrated Rosalía’s singular talent, “Con Altura” announced her intentions for worldwide domination. Created with frequent Rosalía collaborator El Guincho and chameleonic superstar J Balvin, “Con Altura” contains two of the year’s most insidious hooks--the soft-spoken call-and-response chorus, and Rosalía’s snake-charming bridge, the strongest indication yet that global stardom won’t stop the Catalonian chanteuse from pushing music forward.

22. Faye Webster - “Room Temperature” – 2019’s answer to “Swingin’ Party,” the Replacements’ great anthem for introverts, the introductory track on Webster’s Atlanta Millionaire’s Club album drifts along with Hawaiian-flavored pedal steel and a palpable sense of regret, as the 21-year-old singer longs to escape her perfectly comfortable surroundings. 21. Yhung T.O. - “Lately” ft. Lil Sheik - Easy, breezy, beautiful Bay Area rap, carried by T.O.’s dulcet tones and Sheik’s unrepentant dirtbaggery. The beat by Armani Depaul is one of my favorite retro-facing rap beats in a while, complete with smooth digital strings and security-pad synths. 20. The New Pornographers - “You’ll Need a New Backseat Driver” - Every five years or so, A.C. Newman writes a melody so strong that it requires Neko Case’s ultra-powerful alto to properly do it justice. This year, that song is “You’ll Need a New Backseat Driver,” which strives for, and nearly approaches, the heights of previous Pornos stunners like “The Laws Have Changed” and “Champions of Red Wine.” 

19. Floating Points - “LesAlpx” - Surrounded by outré synth experiments and beatless soundscapes on Crush, the first Floating Points album since 2015, “LesAlpx” is Sam Shepherd’s gift to club-goers everywhere. It’s a lean and mean house track, foregrounding propulsive percussion and rubbery bass, but it’s also deeply cerebral, creating a sense of foreboding urgency with detuned synths and ambient sine waves. 18. Daphni - “Sizzling” ft. Paradise - Built around a sample of Paradise’s seminal single “Sizzlin’ Hot,” Dan Snaith’s “Sizzling” extends the best moments of the classic post-disco smash to create five minutes of pure euphoria. The song starts in media res, with the groove in full form, and peaks at the end, when Snaith finally allows Paradise’s June Ventzos to finish her thought atop jubilant trumpets. 17. J Hus - “Must Be” - The latest genre-blending collaboration between J Hus and genius producer JAE5 proves that no man is safe from Hus’s dazzling logic, as he stacks syllogism after syllogism over an irresistible, afropop-flavored groove: “If it walk like an opp/Talk like an opp/Smell like an opp/Then it must be.” 16. Vampire Weekend - “Jerusalem, New York, Berlin” - Ever indulging his literary ambitions, Ezra Koenig uses the final track on Father Of The Bride to examine his Jewish identity, and to reckon with a world that hasn’t made sense since World War I. The prettiest melody on an album dripping with pretty melodies, “Jerusalem, New York, Berlin” packs enough symbolism into three minutes to inspire a seminar at Koenig’s Ivy League alma mater. Supported by yearning, spritely piano, Koenig ends the song with a poignant plea for peace, within reason: “So let them win the battle/But don't let them restart/That genocidal feeling/That beats in every heart.” 15. Great Grandpa - “Bloom” - The highlight from Great Grandpa’s outstanding Four Of Arrows album, “Bloom” is two songs in one. Part one brings punchy acoustic guitar that recalls ‘90s adult alternative (think Matchbox 20) and prime-era Saddle Creek (think Rilo Kiley) in equal measure. The second par tcompletes the song’s emotional arc, slowing down for a hypnotic wordless chorus, backed by weeping violins,. The key line here: “Please say I’m young enough to change.” 14. Spellling - “Real Fun” – Gleefully dramatic and overflowing with evil-sounding synths, “Real Fun” synthesizes Neneh Cherry, Bauhaus, and Cabaret into something that sounds like a villain’s theme in an animated musical that hasn’t been written yet.   13. Earthgang - “Proud Of U” ft. Young Thug – There’s no straight man to ground this ATL trio, as all three emcees lean into their vocal eccentricities while expressing their thanks to the women in their lives atop a mutating, guitar-driven beat. 12. Stella Donnelly - “Tricks” – In which the young heroine attempts to rid herself of a particularly toxic ex, who isn’t just misogynist, but a potential white supremacist sympathizer (her subject’s “Southern Cross Tattoo” is like an Aussie version of the MAGA hat). Heavy stuff, but Donnelly delivers everything with a grin, as if she’s wondering in real time why the hell she ever bothered with this jamoke. 11. Jenny Lewis - “On The Line” - The title track and emotional climax of Jenny Lewis’ latest album, “On The Line” boasts one of the finest vocal performances in her long career, sweetly assassinating her cheating ex-lover with a lilting melody and wry smile.

10. Lucinda Chua - “Whatever It Takes” – Lucinda Chua makes languid art pop in the tradition of fka twigs, but I prefer her understated longing to twigs herself. Her main instrument is the cello, but this track foregoes that sound almost entirely, opting instead for resonant Wurlitzer keys and multi-layered vocal harmonies, and shunting traditional song structure aside in favor of one enigmatic verse, repeating at odd intervals throughout: “Wait/The demons I carry are fake/I will fight our fire, too late.” 9. ShooterGang Kony - “Charlie” – The year’s most cold-blooded mob banger starts with the line “fuck the police and your mama if you ask me” and only escalates from there. Rhyming without affect over hiccuping bass, Kony mercilessly ethers cops, R&B singers, and women named Ashley before threatening to shoot you with a gun that sounds like Fozzy Bear. 8. KEY! - “Miami Too Much” – My favorite Atlanta rap song of the year gets its power from its hilariously specific central conceit, with KEY’s impassioned vocal selling the bit: “If you seen that ass, you'd make a song too.” How often must someone visit Dade County before it becomes an irreconcilable difference in an otherwise healthy relationship? 7. Raphael Saadiq - “Something Keeps Calling” ft. Rob Bacon - Named after his older brother, Raphael Saddiq’s towering Jimmy Lee album examines the personal cost of the crack epidemic, and the outsized role addiction plays in the lives of the destitute. “Something Keeps Calling” is the album’s crushing centerpiece, painting substances as at once a seductive lover and a heavy burden, one that overrides all common sense and decency: “My friends say I can never pull it together/Well they might be right, at least tonight/My kids say I'll never come home again/And I know they're right, at least tonight.” The song climaxes with Rob Bacon’s wailing guitar solo, which tries in vain to reach out to those beyond hope. 6. Bad Bunny & J Balvin - “La Canción” - Nestled in the middle of Balvin and Bunny’s summer smash OASIS, “La Canción” takes a break from the party to dwell on the inherent emptiness of their hedonistic lifestyle, as a mournful trumpet echoes the Reggaetoneros’ longing for meaningful connection amidst their chaotic lives. 5. Polo G - “Pop Out” ft. Lil TJay – Only Polo G would interrupt his own robbery to examine the sociological causes of his behavior: “We come from poverty, man, we ain't have a thing.” But on the rest of “Pop Out,” Polo leans into the dark side of his persona, before 2019’s most unlikely guest verse assassin Lil TJay brings the pathos: “If I showed you all my charges, you won't look at me the same.” In contrast to how effortless the two rappers sound atop the dramatic piano loop, listening to Lil Baby and Gunna wheeze through the remix hammers home the high degree of difficulty of such nimble melodics. It’s a testament to how fast rap music moves these days that Polo and TJay can make last year’s It Duo sound like geezers. 4. Octo Octa - “I Need You” – It starts as an intoxicatingly minimal expression of dancefloor lust, but halfway through, “I Need You” morphs into a sincere and moving tribute to everybody who helped Octo Octa become the woman she is today. It’s a moving moment tucked within an epic club track that works equally well as build-up or comedown.

3. Purple Mountains - “All My Happiness Is Gone” - It’s hard to find the words for this one, a matter-of-fact documentation of a man slowly losing his will to live--which became heartbreakingly clear when David Berman committed suicide in August. But because it’s Berman, “All My Happiness Is Gone” is packed with genius-level wordplay and devastating observations, and enough gallows humor to truly emphasize the gravity of his situation: “Friends are warmer than gold when you're old/And keeping them is harder than you might suppose//Lately, I tend to make strangers wherever I go/Some of them were once people I was happy to know.” I’ll keep going: “Ten thousand afternoons ago/All my happiness just overflowed/That was life at first and goal to go.” And one more: “Where nothing's wrong and no one's asking/But the fear's so strong it leaves you gasping/No way to last out here like this for long.”

2. Big Thief - “Not” - A torrid, slow-burning rocker, “Not” showcases lead singer-songwriter Adrienne Lenker’s skill with oblique imagery and wild-eyed intensity. Lenker rattles off a long list of poetic observations, trying to get to the heart of something (everything?) without ever finding a satisfactory answer, as the music morphs from a controlled simmer to a cacophonous freakout. “Not” climaxes with a riotous guitar solo from Lenker herself, one that reaches towards the cosmos and echoes her frayed vocal. As always with Big Thief, though, the song soars in the smallest moments, like when guitarist Buck Meek enters with plainspoken backing vocals, and at the beginning of the second verse when the guitars drop out and Lenker’s voice stands alone.

1. Burna Boy - “Anybody” - Sometimes the best song of the year is the one that makes you feel the best, and no song this year made me feel better than “Anybody.” “Anybody” is both inviting and aloof, urgent and relaxing. Riding an irresistible groove defined by syncopated keys, driving percussion, and an eager-to-please saxophone, Burna Boy slides between Pidgin English and Yoruba chasing a feeling that resonates beyond the capabilities of language. It’s a song about demanding and receiving respect, dripping with the contagious confidence of an African Giant. And for three minutes, you’ll feel like a giant too.

THE REST: 26. DaBaby - “Intro” 27. Perfume Genius - “Eye On The Wall” 28. Yves Jarvis - “To Say That Is Easy” 29. Doja Cat - “Cyber Sex” 30. Mannequin Pussy - “Drunk II” 31. Better Oblivion Community Center - “Dylan Thomas” 32. Shoreline Mafia - “Wings” 33. Kehlani - “Footsteps” ft. Musiq Soulchild 34. Obangjayar - “Frens” 35. Ariana Grande - “NASA” 36. Mustard ft. Roddy Ricch - “Ballin” 37. Baby Keem - “ORANGE SODA” 38. Jessie Ware - “Adore You” 39. 03 Greedo x Kenny Beats - “Disco Shit” ft. Freddie Gibbs 40. Martha - “Love Keeps Kicking” 41. Lucki - “More Than Ever” 42. Park Hye-Jin - “Call Me” 43. DaVido - “Disturbance” ft. Peruzzi 44. The Japanese House - “Worms” 45. Spencer Radcliffe - “Here Comes The Snow” 46. Dawn Richard - “Dreams And Converse” 47. ALLBLACK & Offset Jim - “Fees” ft. Capolow 48. David Kilgour - “Smoke You Right Out Of Here” 49. Sandro Perri - “Wrong About The Rain” 50. Nilüfer Yanya - “In Your Head” 51. Julia Jacklin - “Don’t Know How To Keep Loving You” 52. Miraa May - “Angles” ft. JME 53. (Sandy) Alex G - “Gretel” 54. Kelsey Lu - “Due West” 55. glass beach - “classic j dies and goes to hell, pt. 1” 56. Peggy Gou - “Starry Night” 57. Cate Le Bon - “Home To You” 58. Busy Signal - “Balloon” 59. NLE Choppa - “Shotta Flow” 60. Dee Watkins - “Hell Raiser” 61. Ari Lennox - “I Been” 62. The National - “Not In Kansas” 63. Shordie Shordie - “Both Sides” ft. Shoreline Mafia 64. Alex Lahey - “Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself” 65. Angel Olsen - “New Love Cassette” 66. Young Dolph - “Tric Or Treat” 67. Koffee - “Throne” 68. Freddie Gibbs & Madlib - “Half Manne, Half Cocaine” 69. Noname - “Song 32” 70. Anthony Naples - “A.I.R.” 71. Samthing Soweto - “Omama Bomthandazo (feat Makhafula Vilakazi)” 72. KAYTRANADA - “10%” ft. Kali Uchis 73. Moodymann - “Got Me Coming Back Right Now” 74. Drakeo The Ruler - “Let’s Go” ft. 03 Greedo 75. Teejayx6 - “Dark Web” 76. Cass McCombs - “I Followed The River South to What” 77. Gunna - “Idk Why” 78. Sharon Van Etten - “You Shadow” 79. Tresor - “Sondela” ft. Msaki 80. E-40 - “Chase The Money” ft. Quavo, Roddy Ricch, ScHoolboy Q & A$AP Ferg 81. Spielbergs - “Running All The Way Home” 82. 24kGoldn - “Valentino” 83. Quelle Chris - “Box of Wheaties” 84. Emily King - “Go Back” 85. AzChike - “Yadda Mean” ft. Keak Da Sneak 86. Club Night - “Path” 87. Zeelooperz - “Easter Sunday” ft. Earl Sweatshirt 88. Kim Gordon - “Murdered Out” 89. YS - “Bompton” (Remix) ft. 1TakeJay & OhGeesy 90. Future - “Never Stop” 91. Lowly - “baglaens” 92. SAULT - “Masterpiece” 93. Earl Sweatshirt - “TISK TISK/COOKIES” 94. Fireboy DML - “Energy” 95. Rio Da Young OG & Lil E - “Buy The Block” 96. Sacred Paws - “Write This Down” 97. Wilco - “Everyone Hides” 98. Black Belt Eagle Scout - “Real Lovin” 99. Sleepy Hallow - “Breakin Bad (Okay)” ft. Sheff G 100. Aimee Leigh & Baby Billy - “Misbehavin’ (1989)”

Here’s a Spotify playlist of the full list: 

To Kiss a God (Chapter Two)

Chapter Two: The Injustice Despite the infamous bat-suit, getting thrown against a concrete wall hurt like a bitch. Cursing internally, Bruce barely had time to leap behind a stray car to avoid pulverization by hunk of concrete. Deciding that a direct assault on the rapidly growing massive green plant was proving impractical, he shot a cable upward toward a city building, letting his momentum carry him to the brick roof. Standing on the slated tiles, smoke ascending from the wreckage of downtown Metropolis, he took in the complete scene below.The creature continued to toss anything within it's grasp, the massive tendrils wrapping around a car and catapulting it at a building. As far as he could tell, the titanous plant, courtesy of Poison Ivy, was still growing. And even more disconcerting, the plant's growth rate was increasing. From what he could discern, the Injustice League's strategy seemed to be more about preoccupying the available members versus causing any real damage. Which led Bruce to believe that it was the growth of the plant that was intended to cause the most harm. As he surveyed the scene below, neither Clark or Diana could be found. Immensely disconcerting considering they were perhaps the two most powerful members of the Justice League. Without at least one of them, he hesitated to say battle could be won. He spotted Cyborg battling against the creature known as the Atomic Skull and Wotan from his perch. It was evident that despite Cyborg's capable equipment he was at a clear disadvantage. A fact he intended to change. Swinging that down from the roof, he kicked the Atomic Skull unconscious with a sharp roundhouse kick. Years of meditation and training executed perfectly. "He was mine," yelled Cyborg, preceding to blast Wotan away from some scrambling away from the battle. He ignored them entirely, there were bigger problems. If the whole fight was intended to disorient the Justice League members, it was succeeding - chaos reigned supreme. It was hard to distinguish how many villains were present because of a nefarious green mist that was swirling around the blocks. The mist combined with the plant specimen made a coordinated attack on the Injustice League difficult and just impractical without Clark or Diana. "Any word from either Superman or Wonder Women?" he inquired to Hal through his Communication device. There was static noise, followed by a cracking response, "Diana's with me down on 5th Street but no sign of Clark." Bruce felt something in his chest tighten. Where was Clark? But at least one of the titans was present, they had a chance of winning now... "Does she have idea where Clark is?" He heard a explosion through the earpiece. Smoke billowed up over a building on another street, the air becoming grey and hazy.  "No." Where are you, Clark? Slipping under a fallen beam, he shot a detonator on the plant and calculated that he would need to place at least three more to destroy the creature. His thoughts swayed from his task at hand. Clark may have been god-like in power and prowess but he was still fallible. He stealthily worked his way around the mammoth creation, planting two more detonators. He was seconds from placing the last fuse when he was blown backward. Count Vertigo appearing before him followed by the Black Atom. Flinging one of his batarangs toward the Black Atom and aiming a smoke bomb at the ground, he dived behind some rubble. Only to hear the click of a gun being loaded as a sickly cackle sounded behind him. It was a noise that haunted his nightmares just as persistently as his reality. The Joker put the steel nozzle to his head, having moved around to face him. A perverse grin split over his scared lips, reminiscent of skull cracking. "Don't feel too bad, Batsy. It took us some serious planning to get you here." He collapsed to the ground as Vertigo overtook him. Wheezing laughter was somewhere above him, the world spun. "Get it! Serious!" Fighting against the dizziness and nausea, he reached for an explosion in his belt. The Joker continued his mad rambling. "Taking them out one by one like domino's. I wonder if Supes will be alive when we get back." Batman's hand hesitated on the activation device as ice cold fear ran through him. Clark was captured. He drew in a deep breath, focus. Activating the explosion and simultaneously jerking his head to the side was a calculated gamble and one he was reassured paid off with the deafening boom of a gun fired directly next to his head. The vertigo was gone, just as he had predicted with the Count blown backwards. With all three of the villains disoriented he commed Hal saying he needed backup and shot a wire to a neighboring building. From the building he shot a quantum smoke bomb close enough to the villains that he was confident the Joker and Vertigo would be unconscious for the next hour at a minimum. Black Atom, on the other hand, would be infinitely more problematic; as far as Bruce knew, he did not need to breathe. Batman shot another cord to an adjacent roof, one more detonator planted and they could turn the tides. And find Clark. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted Green Lantern, followed closely by Wonder Women. He commed them his location and quickly described the situation and plan he had formulated. "That does appear to be our best course of action," conceded Diana, he could practically see the gears turning in her battle orientated mind. "To victory!" She fearlessly shouted and bounded off the roof to initiate an epic fight with the Black Atom. He and Hal exchanged amused glances, "Remember Hal, stick to the plan." Hal flew upwards to shoot electric green blasts at the Black Atom while Wonder Women engaged him on the ground level. Bruce could see her heroically driving him backwards with her sword and battle prowess. Quite the women. Between the two of them, they'll manage, he told himself as he dove to the spot where the Joker and Count Vertigo lay unconscious. He dug through the Joker's pockets, nothing but knives and a couple of cyanide pills. He moved to the Count next, opening up the flap of his coat. Just as he had predicted, a phone. He connected it to his software and activated a tracer that would tell him where it had last called. Bingo, it was the address of an abandoned Gotham warehouse. He looked contemplatively at the Joker and Count Vertigo, he could leave them there. To be crushed by the rubble when the plant was extricated. If you've hurt Clark... but forced himself to move them to a safe location. After tying them up he planted the last denotation device on the plant, according to plan and headed to the Batmobile. He could hear the sounds of detonation and in the rear view mirror the sky was illuminated as fire reached for the heavens. The battle was far from over but he continued drive away from Metropolis, he was confident they could handle themselves. And Clark needed him. Clark. Bruce had dabbled with both men and women over the years, his sex life had been somewhat superfluous to say the least. Part of it was to keep his facade of billionaire playboy up but part of it was for personal enjoyment. Clark was practically a Boy Scout compared to him. Sweet, devastatingly selfless, and someone who hadn't seen their parents brutally murdered at nine. He had calculated that Clark hadn't had more than three sexual partners in his life and in addition to this, he wasn't fucked up like Bruce. He didn't lay awake at night plagued with nightmares or imagine what pulverizing someone to death would be like, he was pure. At least, too pure for someone like Bruce. Why in God's name Clark would have been fantasizing about himself was beyond Bruce comprehension. As far as Bruce was concerned, he was damaged goods - probably incapable of loving someone or deserving love. The closest to love he could come was through sex. Clark had done nothing to deserve being with him. If his personality and martyr complex weren't enough, Clark was a God in every sense of the word. Steel abs, memorizing biceps, chiseled shoulders, coupled with enticing lips. Every girl's and pubescent boys wet fantasy. He couldn't even pretend to himself that Clark was unattractive or that he didn't appeal to Bruce on some animalistic level. But in addition to Bruce being messed up, the Justice League and safely of people everywhere came before his personal libeto. Engaging in any sexual relationship with anyone in the Justice League was off limits. Especially the living God. Once upon a time, Bruce had believed that Superman had needed to be stopped - and he had come so very close to ending him. Now here he was desperately trying to save him, the irony was not lost on him. Besides, half the time, Bruce found Clark's optimism and hopeful nature infuriating. But he couldn't even imagine his life without the alien there.

WONDER WOMAN REVIEW

Superhero films just keep getting bigger and bigger; Marvel seems to always make a smash hit every single year, and DC seems to have been trying to catch up. With Wonder Woman, the first female-lead superhero film since 2005’s (flop) Elektra, hitting theaters this weekend, DC has gained some major ground. Director Patty Jenkins expertly crafts a believable world for Wonder Woman to dwell in and made Wonder Woman the all-around best film that the DC Cinematic Universe has put out thus far, and very well may be the most important superhero film that’s ever come out.

SPOILERS AHEAD

The character of Wonder Woman is a huge undertaking for any actress, I’d say it was even harder for Gal Gadot, someone who was relatively unknown in the States until now, to convince people she was right for the role. She’s previously done some work in the Fast & Furious movies, but once she was announced as the chosen one to play the role of the Amazonian princess, Diana, aka Wonder Woman, she was met with some criticism. But her smaller performance in Batman v Superman seemed to have raised some eyebrows, mine included, and here in her feature length debut in the role, she’s engulfed Diana in the best of ways. Gal Gadot pierces through the screen with intensity, purity, strength, and innocence. Her Wonder Woman is powerful, virtuous, noble, and forthright, she is just wonderful. She has a smile that just makes you proud. Gal almost effortlessly molds the innocence and naivety of Diana in the world of man with her confidence and independence. Other than herself, Gal had some prominent back up in the film as well, specifically Chris Pine in the role of Diana’s human love, Steve Trevor. I can’t think of a movie where Chris Pine wasn’t good. He has an infectious personality on screen, he’s always enjoyable to watch. His approach to Steve’s awkwardness around Diana was great; he’s continually surprised by Diana and it always confuses him how she can always do that. Chris and Gal have natural chemistry on screen, when they joke, when they fight, when they connect, through the whole film their relationship always felt genuine. Their romantic subplot wasn’t ever in your face either, it felt natural and was done so delicately and with grace, I respect it a lot. I wish I could have seen more of the Amazonians of Themyscira, but what we got was definitely enough. To see all these strong women training and fighting, moving so fluidly and gracefully was invigorating to watch. I could only imagine how a little girl felt watching these powerful women command the screen. My only complaint when it comes to the characters of the film is essentially everyone else besides the Amazonians, Diana, and Steve Trevor. They assemble a rag-tag group of guys to show Wonder Woman the different facets of humanity, however I wish they felt maybe more important, maybe a group of strong ladies would’ve taken it further. They didn’t seem to do anything of importance except just be there. They all had some nice moments individually but not enough to convince me that they’re worth watching. Next, there were three villainous figures: Ludendorff (Danny Huston), Dr. Poison (Elena Anaya), and Ares (David Thewlis). Ludendorff and Poison were the ones who commanded most of the evil appearances, however they were excessively generic. I think when you bring a movie into WWI or II, you can just use Germans as evil doers without much depth added to them. Poison had some intrigue, but we never really learn much of her, all she really spent time doing was marveling as gas clouds and being melodramatic. Then there’s Ares, and he wasn’t much at all exciting. His best moment was the reveal that he’s been around the entire time as Sir Patrick, but after that his intrigue faded away with excessive CGI and just an awkward appearance. He kept that mustache for thousands of years? Really? It might have had something to do with the casting choice that made it a bit ridiculous to see. When Ares formed his armor with the weapons and plating scattered around the airfield at the end, that was a cool moment, but David Thewlis just wasn’t Ares. A change in form or appearance might have gone a long way. Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, and the Amazonian women really steal the show for me, the rest were just bearable in a sense to keep the film moving forward.

Wonder Woman starts out incredibly strong, giving the warriors of Themyscira, and a young Diana, time to shine. The concentration on the world building of Wonder Woman was fantastic. It didn’t feel mashed up or rushed, like the other three DC films that have come out thus far. The movie paced generally well, even when the action was at a low point in favor of exposition, there were still bits to draw you in. Sure it can feel a little slow at times, I definitely wanted to see more of Wonder Woman kicking ass, but the slower bits did serve some nice character building, specifically for Diana. Gal was always great to watch whether she was clearly a fish out of water, or standing strong and noble against sexist men, or just smiling. You’re always rooting for her, but you’re also waiting for her to be enlightened. In parts, she’s very naive when it came to the conflict of Ares and mankind, and at the end when she has that realization of who humans really were, after Steve’s sacrifice, a feeling of relief and excitement washes over you. The action sequences were glorious too, Zach Snyder’s trademark slow-mo shots were all over the place, but I was happy with them because I liked watching Wonder Woman kick some serious ass. The final battle between her and Ares may have been very CGI’d and perhaps a bit underwhelming, but the showcase of Diana’s maximum power was great to watch. Beating overwhelming odds in superhero movies will never get old, perhaps that’s because superheroes were built off that premise. I also marveled at the set-pieces; Themyscira, London, the trenches, they all were wonderfully designed, Themyscira being the most colorful of all the landscapes. One thing I did want to bring up was the choice of the WWI setting. It was a bold choice to introduce Wonder Woman in this war-torn time, some people wanted to see her introduced in the modern day, and where I can see that being perhaps a bit cooler, it wouldn’t make much sense to the DC timeline for this universe. In the modern day, Superman and Batman specifically are prominent figures already, Batman already having a long history. If there wasn’t much of a record of Wonder Woman before Bruce discovered her picture and secret file, why would the modern day make sense? It serves her well to be in a time where technology wasn’t all over the place, so the only real evidence of her existence is the one photograph taken of her, that’s what makes it significant. If she emerged closer to the modern day, her ambiguity would be lost. Question that remain from this time, though, is how does she really age in this canon? Is Themyscira somehow suspended in time? How did she age there? Is ten years to an Amazonian in Themyscira, 50 years, or a hundered years, in the world of man? How did she seemingly not age through the rest of human history up until BvS? Did she not interfere in WWII? Vietnam? The Civil Rights era? There are a lot of questions about Wonder Woman and her history that come from this movie, however they don’t really pertain to this film specifically. These are just things that should maybe be fleshed out through the rest of the DC films.

After a film like this, what’s next really comes into question for the DC cinematic universe. Wonder Woman blew all the past films (Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, & Suicide Squad) out of the water. Will Justice League have a monumental payoff like this one did? Or will the rest of the DC universe be just as flat as where we left off with it prior to Wonder Woman? There are plenty of DC movies slated for the near future, but the rocky start it’s gotten off to may hurt the success of their first team-up film. Especially since DC seems to just want the team up to happen more quickly than Marvel’s. We don’t get an Aquaman, Flash, Cyborg, or even a solo-Batman film until after this first Justice League movie, set to release this November. It’s a questionable timeline to have. I would’ve appreciated their creative choices a lot more if we got the films in this order: Man of Steel, The Batman, Wonder Woman, Suicide Squad, Batman v Superman, and then Justice League. With the multitude of cameos in BvS of the other “meta-humans”, plus Batman and Wonder Woman’s solo films would have already introduced them, the team-up would have more of a payoff. But then again, Justice League isn’t out yet, these are just my feelings as of now and they could change. Wonder Woman is the shining example of what DC has needed and it captures Wonder Woman so epically that my excitement for DC has been revitalized to a good degree. My final rating for Wonder Woman is:

8.75/10. In a word: wonderful.

Wonder Woman does a plethora of things right, and when the movie is going great, it’s going great. Gal Gadot does an amazing job with the character, Patty Jenkins directs with fierce integrity and puts on a show that is tremendously impressive. Wonder Woman may be the most important superhero film to have ever come out, and it earns that praise. The flaws with supporting characterization, a decent lack of villainous intrigue, and a not-too-impressive main villain finale doesn’t take away too much from Wonder Woman herself. She’s a shining light in this grim world that DC has built up and I’m excited to see where she will lead the universe to in the future.

With the summer movie season almost upon us, Andy is here to try to make sure you don’t get fooled when spending your hard-earned money when you choose to take in the latest flick at the cinema.

When people ask me what my favorite type of movie is, I always say blockbusters. Don’t get me wrong, but with the exception of paranormal thrillers and torture-porn flicks like the Saw movies, I love all types of movies. As a movie fan, I believe in balance as far as the movies I see goes. I love to see a big budget summer movie, then follow up it with a comedy and then after that check out an independent drama. But there is one thing that I really hate, when I see an awesome trailer but then the movie is really disappointing and bad. And it’s not like you can really avoid trailers these days. There are at least fifteen minutes of trailers before every movie that you see in the theater. You can always be “that guy” who closes his eyes and covers his ears during them. I see where they are coming from, I like to go in with as little info as possible so that the reveals, twists and turns aren’t spoiled for me. For example, I didn’t try to avoid the trailers for Rogue One, outside of seeing them before other movies, I didn’t seek out more clips and info. It did pay off and I didn’t see some of the plot turns that occurred coming. Some trailers you will see for over a year before the film is released. And often the three-minute trailer can contain all of the best parts of a one hundred and twenty-minute movie, that really gets my goat, so to speak. Here are some of the worst offenders over the last twenty years.

Passengers, released December 21, 2016. Here is the plot summary, courtesy of IMDB.com: A spacecraft traveling to a distant colony planet and transporting thousands of people has a malfunction in its sleep chambers. As a result, two passengers are awakened 90 years early. This is a great concept for a movie, so many possibilities and directions it could go in. Add in two of the biggest stars today: Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt with beautiful set design and visual effects, it should be a success, right? So where did this movie fall flat? A few places, but mostly on the script level. The characters were under-developed, and it tried to borrow from too many other movies. This film was derivative of “Cast Away”, “Titanic” and “Home Alone.” Also, one of the characters has a major moral dilemma, but I would call more a “dick move” for what they did. In hindsight, the trailer was a bit deceptive, but in their defense, they don’t want to give away the “plot twist,” so I do get why they did it. I just wish this film held up to the promise it’s trailer gave us.

Suicide Squad, released August 5, 2016. Here is the plot summary, courtesy of IMDB.com: A secret government agency recruits some of the most dangerous incarcerated super-villains to form a defensive task force. Their first mission: save the world from the apocalypse. What a fun concept, right? Let’s get a team of the worst criminals we have and send them in to stop an even worse supervillain. This was probably one of the best trailers I’ve seen in a long time, especially with the classic rock hits, “Bohemian Rhapsody,” “Ballroom Blitz,” and “Spirit In The Sky” featured in it. It was so good that the studio had the team that cut the trailer take a shot at editing the film. They only had so much to work with, so they couldn’t even save this movie. I don’t hate this movie, I really liked some parts of it, but it was filled with missed opportunities. They didn’t really develop enough of the characters outside of Harley Quinn and Deadshot. The motivations of the characters weren’t fully defined either. Also, I think a lot of people are really getting sick of the heroes of movies having to stop the giant light in the sky. There were at least three other movies, although only one really got it right, that featured this that year, “Doctor Strange,” “Ghostbusters” and “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows,” so this needs to go away or least used minimally going forward. This gave a lot of concern that the DCEU was in trouble since with was is in such a rush to catch up to the MCU that they weren’t concentrating on the little things that matter and failing to properly set up the universe. Thankfully with “Wonder Woman” and “Justice League”, they have started to course-correct.

Transformers: Age Of Extinction, released June 27, 2014. Here is the plot summary, courtesy of IMDB.com: Autobots must escape sight from a bounty hunter who has taken control of the human serendipity: Unexpectedly, Optimus Prime and his remaining gang turn to a mechanic, his daughter, and her back-street racing boyfriend for help. Honestly, the entire franchise should be on this list. Transformers was one of my favorite cartoons growing up and there are some cool and good parts to these movies. But, it is mainly Michael Bay shitting on my childhood. In regards to this entry in the series, there are so many problems with this movie: the swift and brutal death of the apparent comic relief early in the movie; the mention of the “Romeo & Juliet” law as part of a sub-plot; Optimus Prime being really pissed off and killing a human on purpose. But the worst offense (I will admit it was a cool scene when it happened) was saving the Dinobots for a short scene at the end of the movie after it was the biggest promise from the trailer.

Man Of Steel, released June 14, 2013. Here is the plot summary, courtesy of IMDB.com: Clark Kent, one of the last of an extinguished race disguised as an unremarkable human, is forced to reveal his identity when the Earth is invaded by an army of survivors who threaten to bring the planet to the brink of destruction. We didn’t know it at the time, but this was the first entry in the DCEU. But man, this was no “Iron Man.” The trailer had some cool visuals and it seem to set up an epic battle between Superman and General Zod, which we did end up getting, but the tone of the movie was totally off. I’m not a comic book guy, but even I know that the tone of this movie was way too dark. Superman is the light, “boy scout” of the Superfriends. Batman is the dark character, which is what keeps the balance in the team. This movie was just in the wrong hands, Zack Snyder’s. Superman was too gritty and pissed off for most of the movie. He behaved more like Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine. Plus, there was way too much imagery portraying him as a Christ figure. This is a prime example of that when it comes to a comic book movie, you need to put it in the hands of someone who knows and cares about the source material.

Elysium, released August 9, 2013. Here is the plot summary, courtesy of IMDB.com: In the year 2154, the very wealthy live on a man-made space station while the rest of the population resides on a ruined Earth. A man takes on a mission that could bring equality to the polarized worlds. After seeing “District 9”, like many, I was looking forward to Neil Blomkamp’s follow up. The trailer was great, but it basically gave away the entire movie. Yeah, a few plots points were omitted but anyone who has seen a movie before could piece together what the missing pieces were. Where “District 9” was sci-fi futuristic take on Apartheid, this film tried to do the same with the theme of division of classes and what could happen in the future. It gets too on the nose throughout and story goes off the rails by the end. Jodie Foster, much like Kate Winslet in the Divergent series, is missed-cast and gives a disappointing performance. When Blomkamp came out with his third film “Chappie”, I decided to skip it and from what I heard about it from people who saw it, I made the right decision.

John Carter, released March 9, 2012. Here is the plot summary, courtesy of IMDB.com: Transported to Barsoom, a Civil War vet discovers a barren planet seemingly inhabited by 12-foot barbarians. Finding himself prisoner of these creatures, he escapes, only to encounter Woola and a princess in desperate need of a savior. When this movie came out, most people found it to be too derivative of other movies in the genre, “Raiders of the Lost Ark” & “Star Wars.” The funny thing is that the book it is based-on inspired filmmakers like George Lucas and Steven Spielberg when they were making their early action-adventure films that I just mentioned. And that where the main problem is. The action sequences and special effects are good, but there many similar movies that did them better. Again, like many others on this list, it suffers from poor plot pacing and uneven characters. It was a shame because it was director Andrew Stanton’s first attempt at live-action after having such great success in animation with “Finding Nemo” & “Wall-E.”

Sucker Punch, released March 25, 2011. Here is the plot summary, courtesy of IMDB.com: A young girl is institutionalized by her abusive stepfather. Retreating to an alternative reality as a coping strategy, she envisions a plan which will help her escape from the mental facility. Surprise, surprise, Zack Snyder is on the list again. This is his attempt at an “Alice In Wonderland”-type story. This movie is visually stunning but not much else is there. The plot is similar to that of a video game with quests and levels that have to be beaten by the main characters. Except for Oscar Isaac & Jon Hamm, all the leads in this movie are all women, which is one positive that can be taken away from this film. However, that positive is almost turned into a negative by the way the characters are depicted and objectified.

Cowboys & Aliens, released July 29, 2011. Here is the plot summary, courtesy of IMDB.com: A spaceship arrives in Arizona, 1873, to take over the Earth, starting with the Wild West region. A posse of cowboys and natives are all that stand in their way. Spaceships attacking cowboys in the Wild West? Yes, sign me up. This film also had an incredible pedigree out of the gates. It was produced by Steven Spielberg, directed by Jon Favreau, written by Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, and starring Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford and Olivia Wilde. However, this was one of the biggest disappointments I’ve ever seen. Again, the movie’s failure starts at the script level. There were so many character motivations that didn’t make much sense. Underneath the main leads, there was a tremendous amount of miscasting with some of the supporting roles. These were good actors but they shouldn’t have been in this movie. This was a rare misfire by Jon Favreau as a filmmaker. Outside of the concept, there’s nothing much original in this film, most of the set pieces and characters are paint-by-numbers for a western.

Where The Wild Things Are, released October 16, 2009. Here is the plot summary, courtesy of IMDB.com: Yearning for escape and adventure, a young boy runs away from home and sails to an island filled with creatures that take him in as their king. Many of us read this story when we were kids. Film adaptations of books can be difficult, especially when the source material is so short, only about ten sentences long, in this case. Spike Jonze is a director with a great vision. What we ended up getting is a movie that slogs and bores both kids and adults. It is so dark, bleak and depressing that one wonders what the filmmakers were trying to say from the get go.

Jennifer’s Body, released September 28, 2009. Here is the plot summary, courtesy of IMDB.com: A newly possessed high school cheerleader turns into a succubus who specializes in killing her male classmates. Can her best friend put an end to the horror? This was screenwriter Diablo Cody’s follow-up to her Oscar win for the critically acclaimed film “Juno.” This film had a lot going for on the surface. It starred Megan Fox, who was red hot coming off the “Transformers” franchise, the aforementioned Cody and horror was on an upswing at the time, especially horror comedies. However, this movie was neither very scary or very funny. There is plenty of witty dialogue, and some very sexy scenes that teenage boys will dream about, but it seems like there was some unfulfilled potential that the trailer promised.

Watchmen, released March 6, 2009. Here is the plot summary, courtesy of IMDB.com: In 1985 where former superheroes exist, the murder of a colleague sends active vigilante Rorschach into his own sprawling investigation, uncovering something that could completely change the course of history as we know it. Based on a graphic novel, many said that the source material was unfilmable. They were half-right. This was a pretty movie but the filmmakers (cough, Zack Snyder, etc.) spent more time on the look of the film and neglected character development and plot. There were also questionable casting choices as well as misplaced songs from the 80’s featured in the movie’s soundtrack. The biggest drawback of this movie is the run time, at an excruciating three hours plus.

X-Men: The Last Stand, released May 26, 2009. Here is the plot summary, courtesy of IMDB.com: When a cure is found to treat mutations, lines are drawn amongst the X-Men, led by Professor Charles Xavier, and the Brotherhood, a band of powerful mutants organized under Xavier’s former ally, Magneto. Bryan Singer did a very good job directing and world-building in the first two movies in the franchise. And in one movie, Bret Ratner flushed it all down the toilet. This film really messed with the canon of the franchise by killing off too many characters, namely Professor X and Cyclops. With the main plot being about a cure for mutants and the questions and decisions that come along, a much more capable director would have made a smaller film and focused on a few characters dealing with whether or not they should be “cured.” Instead, we got basically an assassination of a major comic franchise that Bryan Singer had to be lured back to in order to save it with “X-Men: The First Class.”, in which they thankfully ret-conned this film from the cinematic universe.

King Kong, released December 14, 2005. Here is the plot summary, courtesy of IMDB.com: After a movie crew travels to a mysterious island to shoot their picture, they encounter a giant and furious gorilla who takes their leading actress and forms a special relationship with her, protecting the beautiful lady at all costs. This one almost didn’t make this list, there are a lot of positives with this movie. Peter Jackson had just delivered on “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy, so why not remake a classic monster movie with today’s money and technology behind you. This is another movie that suffers from being way too long. There are so many sequences that can be shortened, especially the one with the giant insects on Skull Island. It takes forever for them to get off the island and to New York. We could do without the ice skating scene in Central Park. The casting for this movie was actually very good along with great special effects. This is a tough movie to re-visit though because of the slogs between great action set pieces.

Be Cool, released March 4, 2005. Here is the plot summary, courtesy of IMDB.com: Disenchanted with the movie industry, Chili Palmer tries the music industry, meeting and romancing a widow of a music executive on the way. This movie made me mad when I saw it. I loved “Get Shorty.” I thought John Travolta did an awesome job in that film as the follow up to his comeback performance in “Pulp Fiction.” It was also touted as an on-screen reunion of John and Uma Thurman. Again, another movie with a great cast, but it seemed like a retread of the first movie, just a different industry setting and without the charm. It seemed to get lazy and go through the motions from the start of the movie.

The Matrix: Reloaded, released May 14, 2003. Here is the plot summary, courtesy of IMDB.com: Neo and the rebel leaders estimate that they have 72 hours until 250,00 probes discover Zion and destroy it and its inhabitants. During this, Neo must decide how he can save Trinity from a dark fate in his dreams. The first “Matrix” was groundbreaking and revolutionary so when they announced a sequel, who didn’t want to see what the filmmakers would do next. This time around, they focused too much on the action scenes and not enough on the characters in the world they built. There was too much exposition in the dialogue, and many of the subplots went unresolved. And what’s worse, they did it again in the next film in the franchise, “The Matrix: Revolutions.”

Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace, released May 19, 1999. Here is the plot summary, courtesy of IMDB.com: Two Jedi Knights escape a hostile blockade to find allies and come across a young boy who may bring balance to the Force, but the long dormant Sith resurface to reclaim their old glory. Where do I start? We waited 16 long years for a new Star Wars movie and because of that, they were able to sucker us in. They played off our hunger for the episodes of the saga that we had all heard about for years. They took advantage of our nostalgia for our beloved trilogy. It opened with the 20thCentury Fox and Lucasfilm logos. They gave us the John Williams score; an image of a desert planet with a spaceship; imagery of worlds we haven’t seen yet; podracing; Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor & Samuel L. Jackson as a Jedis; Yoda; Darth Maul with his two-handed light saber and R2-D2 & C3PO. What could go wrong? That’s a discussion for a whole other article. In a nutshell, too much CGI, an immaculate conception, Jar Jar Binks and the history of the trade federation. There are some good parts in Episodes I-III, but those are few and far between.

Pearl Harbor, released May 25, 2001. Here is the plot summary, courtesy of IMDB.com: A tale of war and romance mixed in with history, the story follows two lifelong friends and a beautiful nurse who are caught up in the horror of an infamous Sunday morning in 1941. This was great trailer that showed the promise of what could have been a rare big budget movie that went on to win numerous awards. The story of one of the most tragic and at the same time heroic days in American history was tailor-made for the big screen. What we ended up getting was overblown special effects, an underserved story with a love triangle shoved in. This is another case of an overall bad movie having some great scenes and imagery but it’s not worth sitting through the almost three-hour long slog.

Godzilla, released May 20, 1998. Here is the plot summary, courtesy of IMDB.com: A giant, reptilian monster surfaces, leaving destruction in its wake. To stop the monster (and its babies), and earthworm scientist, his reporter ex-girlfriend, and other unlikely heroes team up to save their city. Coming off the success of “Independence Day”, the team of Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich could do no wrong, right? Wrong! They decided to take a crack at one of the most famous monster/disaster movie icons, Godzilla and boy, they got it wrong. This was a case of egos getting in the way of making a great film. They threw out the original script and wrote the film themselves. They also changed the design of the title character. The casting was all wrong. Your protagonist is a worm expert played by Matthew Broderick. Really? The plot lacked logic and there wasn’t much in terms of dramatic tension throughout the entire movie. The tagline of the movie was “Size Does Matter.” Guess what? So does the script.

The 2018 SB Nation Hope Generator for the Despondent Sports Fan

Yes, 2017 was trash, but we’ve got some sports hope for you in the new year.

Soccer

Christian Pulisic is only 19 years old and, barring disaster, will have at least two more shots at a World Cup team as an American soccer player. # http://ift.tt/2A5gfSq

ATL United drew 886,000 people to watch soccer in Atlanta in its first season.

Weston McKinnie is only 19 years old and, barring disaster, he’ll have at least two more shots at a World Cup team as an American soccer player. # http://ift.tt/2A5gfSq

Lionel Messi is still one of the best soccer players in the world at the age of 30.

^ Cristiano Ronaldo is still one of the best soccer players in the world at the age of 32.

^ If either, or both, of these things makes you sad or angry: Neither one of these things can stay true for long.

The failure of the United States to make the World Cup hopefully means a complete demolition of everything wrong with American soccer. # http://ift.tt/2A5gfSq

We will all get to watch Fox hilariously work overtime on selling a World Cup to an American audience without the United States Men’s National Team in it. #http://ift.tt/2A5gfSq

Everyone will get to root for the team of their choice on their merits alone in this World Cup. # http://ift.tt/2A5gfSq

^ This should be Nigeria, of course, because Nigeria is the most entertaining soccer team, and deserves your love above all others.

A rabid, gluttonous soccer fan may now stream nearly every league’s games on the planet directly into their faces. (Legally, of course.) # http://ift.tt/2Cuat2E

^ You’d never stream illegally, we know that, we just want to clarify that. We’re not the police as far as you know.

Sports gambling will be legal everywhere, and you will be able to wager on anything from the comfort of your phone.

^ Sports gambling will be legal everywhere, and you will be able to make fun of your friends for being stupid enough to gamble on sports live from the social media accounts on your phone.

^ Sports gambling will be legal everywhere, meaning you can gamble on sports from jail with your contraband cell phone after you commit crimes to feed your sports gambling addiction.

MLB/Baseball

Baseball is actually a very healthy sport with strong local followings. It’ll be fine. Nothing else sells 162 games worth of ads per team. Nothing.

This is the part where we tell you to be very excited about a young baseball player—someone like Ronald Acuña, baby! (Grant Brisbee told me who he was, but he seems very exciting!) Baseball is fun.

College baseball is growing even if Mississippi State abandoned their glorious fire trap of a tailgating situation.

The best, most passionate, and underrated college sports playoff is the Women’s College World Series.

NASCAR/Auto racing

Auto racing is suffering, but it’s also the sport most likely to put you into a VR helmet, showing you exactly what a driver is seeing during a race in real time.

^ Did you just think about what this might look like during a rally car race? Get nauseated but excited thinking about what this would look like for an F1 race at Monaco? Auto racing might not be dead-dead yet.

Less money coming into NASCAR might mean a designed return to lawless racing and on-track brawling for ratings. This might be desperate. It might also be very entertaining.

^ A desperate need for viewers might also get NASCAR to do something serious about hiring diversity in the sport—and not just behind the wheel.

A car can still run at 200 miles per hour flat out at Talladega without touching the brake once.

NBA

The NBA is in a golden age and it’s so obvious that even saying this is already a cliche.

A 6’11” point guard who plays in Milwaukee can dunk from the three-point line in two steps—and does this pretty frequently.

Boogie Cousins and Anthony Davis play on the same team—and they might be the three spot on the menu on any given night on League Pass.

LeBron James is only 32 and still playing the best basketball of his life.

^ He also called the President “you bum” on Twitter, which made him the new President. LeBron James is now the first man to be President and also an MVP candidate.

The 76ers and Knicks are stocked with astonishing talents for years to come. No, really, that’s an accurate sentence.

James Harden is allowed to do whatever he wants on any night of the week in the city of Houston and it is a delight to watch.

Russell Westbrook exists, and sometimes that alone is enough to keep going.

The NBA has MVP-grade talent from Greece, Los Angeles, Cameroon, Akron, Latvia, and Washington, D.C.

Someday someone will love you like John Wall loves Washington, D.C., and the Wizards. And like D.C. and the Wizards, you won’t deserve it. (But you’ll take it.) # http://ift.tt/2A6oeyy

Doris Burke is calling NBA games.

The NBA on TNT is still the best wraparound sports TV show even if Charles Barkley has been phoning it in hard for like 10 years now.

The NBA playoffs are still incredible.

College basketball

The good news for college basketball is that the FBI should be done with things in three to four years, tops.

^ That’s it, there’s really not a whole lot else to be optimistic about here.

NFL

The Chiefs offense under Andy Reid uses every cool play from college football and makes it work at the pro level, which is fun.

^ Andy Reid is also using Alex Smith to run it because Andy Reid understands comedy and football.

Tom Brady operating the Patriots’ offense is a marvel to behold, and Brady is the most graceful quarterback of all time.

^ No one has to admit that Tom Brady The Football Player is good publicly but we can all share this here on the internet where no one can see it.

^ He’s starting a second career as a new age fitness grifter, true, but none of that should interfere too much with watching him instantly recognize the weak point in a defense and putting a ball on a receiver with jaw-dropping accuracy.

Von Miller comes off the edge every Sunday like he’s speed skating in hell and racing one inch ahead of the devil.

Julio Jones is healthy, magnificent, and in 2017 was evidently saving up touchdowns for your future entertainment.

Aaron Rodgers is infinitely more fun to watch than Tom Brady, just as good, actually has a sense of humor, and will never try to sell you a two hundred dollar cookbook.

Aaron Donald could be the United States’ representative for every Olympic sport—all of them, winter or summer—and we would win just as many medals, if not more.

^ Yes, including rhythmic gymnastics.

^ Maybe especially rhythmic gymnastics.

NFL cities appear less susceptible to giving cities taxpayer-subsidized stadiums than ever before.

Russell Wilson is a joy to watch work even if he is the NFL’s most Fanny Pack-ass Player. Maybe because he is the NFL’s Most Fanny Pack-ass Player.

^ He’d be even more incredible if he had more than three offensive lineman protecting him at any time.

The Bills will continue exist to validate your feelings about management being incompetent.

^ The Browns will continue to exist to validate your feelings about life being unfair, and also about management being incompetent.

^ The Patriots will continue to exist to prove your suspicion that only four people ever really own anything, and that you definitely aren’t one of them.

^ The Saints will continue to exist in order to remind you that other people are always having more fun somewhere without you.

Randy Moss is working as a paid football commentator.

Steve Young recently bit the head off a fish on air. It’s not all hopeless on the TV side. # http://ift.tt/2CrfFo1

At least Jerry Jones has the generosity to be a properly insane New Gilded Age billionaire for entertainment purposes.

Players are retiring earlier and earlier, which is a very, very good thing if the NFL is not going to fix itself for the long haul.

The NFL’s ratings falling might get the NFL to try and rebuild the sport for the long haul. # http://ift.tt/2A8NdBC

^ They probably won’t do this. But it’s nice to hope for the best from people, isn’t it? Delusional, but nice.

NHL

The NHL still has the most epic playoff in all of sport, even if it does destroy sleep schedules, productivity at work, and occasionally downtown Vancouver.

Doc Emrick could make a cockroach race sound like the Kentucky Derby’s last 30 furlongs. # http://ift.tt/2CsPMnX

Theoretically speaking, Gary Bettman can’t be commissioner forever.

^ Until then, booing Gary Bettman remains one of sports’ most reliable and respected traditions.

CFB

If an Alabama fan: Nick Saban shows no signs of retiring.

^ If you are anyone else: Eventually, one day, Nick Saban will have to retire and stop coaching Alabama football.

No one in the sport has gotten smaller, slower, or less talented—except for you, the viewer.

There is more college football on that one human being could possibly watch and that’s before you even get to the Pac-12 playing four games at 3 a.m. on a Sunday.

Several court cases could destroy amateurism as we know it, and get players a piece of the very large and unshared college sports revenue pie.

More and more people are recognizing Big Red, the greatest mascot in college athletics, and becoming aware of the good work he’s done. # http://ift.tt/2A8NeWc

The passing of time means everyone gets a day closer to the return of the NCAA Football video game franchise.

^ We’re not saying it’s going to happen. But if it does, well buddy you’re getting closer to it whether you like it or not.

Justice Hill at Oklahoma State is just a sophomore.

Khalil Tate at Arizona is just a sophomore.

Chip Kelly is coming back! At UCLA!

RB J.K. Dobbins at Ohio State is just a freshman and already has a 1,000-yard season.

No matter what happens—fall of society, collapse of civilization, flooding of the land by the rising sea—the Iron Bowl will happen in the final week of the regular season.

^ We’re very serious about this. They’ll grow gills. #RollDamnMerpeople

Misc/general

The sport of grappling will become an entire growth industry all by itself—mostly because it already is.

The World Tag Championships is the real sport of the future and that’s fine because watching two people play tag in an obstacle course is way, way more entertaining than it has any right to be.

There are more women’s sports on broadcast television than ever, and with higher ratings and better funding than ever before, too.

Serena Williams will come back to tennis after giving birth to a child and taking a full year off at minimum and still beat the brakes off Maria Sharapova in straight sets. # http://ift.tt/2CuVtBJ

E-sports will gradually become more comprehensible to the general viewer. # http://ift.tt/2A6JHrd

^ Even if it doesn’t become more comprehensible, it will become louder and more frequently broadcast, and sometimes that’s enough to get everyone adequately addicted.

Lavar Ball’s Senate campaign will be wild.

There will be actual competition for ESPN in the sports sphere. (It won’t be in the major sports, but still.)

Golf will continue to enable our nation’s most luxurious and sometimes dramatic couch naps.

With peer-to-peer economy, guess who the next AirBnB of the San Diego Chargers is? Well, it’s you.

^ This may not be an exaggeration. The Chargers might need to spend a few nights at your place.

Drones! There are just gonna be drones everywhere with cameras, and the best part will be watching them run out of juice and crash into the middle of live games. # http://ift.tt/2CtNbKE

You and your friends might be able to crowdfund that competitive MarioKart league you’ve been talking about for years. # http://ift.tt/2A6JHrd

^ You and your friends will probably not do too much jail time for encroaching on the copyright territory of the Nintendo corporation.

With a GoPro, anyone can become an extreme athlete! Except for you, you’re probably just going to hurt yourself, stop that.

Roger Federer has all the money he will ever need and is past his athletic prime, thus allowing others to flourish in his prestigious wake. # http://ift.tt/2CuVtBJ

^ That said, Roger Federer will probably win a Grand Slam this year at the age of 36.

Angry about 'Wonder Woman,' a man wrote Austin's mayor a letter. Huge mistake.

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A terrible letter gets an unquestionably epic reaction from Austin Mayor Steve Adler.

As you may perhaps know, a pair of Alamo Drafthouse movie theaters have resolved to maintain a handful of further women of all ages-only showings of "Speculate Lady," all in great enjoyment.

And as you may perhaps also know, some dudes freaked out major time about this information. It really is a total detail *sigh*, and as Upworthy's possess Eric March wrote, it can be why we are unable to have wonderful factors anymore.

Same, Speculate Lady. Same. Image through Warner Bros.

One of these dudes resolved to channel his rage about the women of all ages-only screenings into a letter to the mayor of Austin, Texas, dwelling to one of the theaters giving a women of all ages-only demonstrating.

Maintain on to your hats simply because this is a wild experience:

"I hope each gentleman will boycott Austin and do what he can to diminish Austin and to lead to destruction to the city’s picture. The theater that pandered to the sexism common of women of all ages will, I hope, regret it is conclusion. The notion of a girl hero is a wonderful illustration of women’s eagerness to acknowledge the physical appearance of achievement devoid of true achievement. Gals understand from an early age to worth make-up, that it is Okay to faux that you are better than you truly are. Gals faux they do not know that only adult men provide in fight simply because they are articles to have an simpler experience. Gals gladly acknowledge gold medals at the Olympics for coming in tenth and competing only from the next class of athletes. Name some thing invented by a girl! Achievements by the next charge gender pale in comparison to just about everything fantastic in human historical past was completed by adult men, not women of all ages. If Austin does not host a adult men only counter event, I will hardly ever pay a visit to Austin and will welcome its deterioration. And I will not neglect that Austin is most effective recognized for Charles Whitman. Does Austin stand for gender equality or for kissing up to women of all ages? Do not trouble to answer. I previously know the remedy. I do not dislike women of all ages. I dislike their rampant hypocrisy and the hypocrisy of the 'women’s movement.' Gals do not want gender equality they want extra for women of all ages. Do not trouble to answer simply because I am confident your cowardice will generate practically nothing worth looking through."

Richard A. Ameduri

There is a lot heading on below.

Initial of all, Ameduri's letter veers wildly from "I do not dislike women of all ages" to calling women of all ages "the next charge gender." Not to point out the plethora of factual inaccuracies peppered during the letter about the function of women of all ages in fight, inventions, and achievements.

Of course, yes, we know, #NotAllMen, but at minimum *this* gentleman, appropriate? GIF from Justice League.

Fortunately, Mayor Steve Adler was up to the activity of placing this dude straight.

Adler's reaction was practically nothing small of 🔥.

Everyone, say hi to Adler. He'll be taking part in the function of the superhero in this tale. Photo by Lucía Godinez/RCC (GDA through AP Visuals).

He opened with some epic trolling:

"I am creating to warn you that your email account has been hacked by an unlucky and unusually hostile specific. Be sure to cure your account’s security appropriate absent, lest this person’s uninformed and sexist rantings give you a bad name. Right after all, we adult men have to seem out for each individual other!"

And adopted that with a little bit of a historical past lesson, informing Ameduri of the a lot of achievements and inventions women of all ages are accountable for:

"Can you think about if another person considered that you did not know women of all ages could provide in our fight units now devoid of exclusion? What if another person considered you did not know that women of all ages invented health-related syringes, existence rafts, fireplace escapes, central and solar heating, a war-time communications system for radio-managing torpedoes that laid the technological foundations for everything from Wi-Fi to GPS, and beer? And I wait to think about how embarrassed you’d be if another person considered you were upset that a private organization was noticing a organization option by reserving one screening this weekend for women of all ages to see a superhero movie."

He wrapped the letter up with a little bit extra light trolling.

"You and I are critical adult men of substance with very little time for the delicate sensitivities exhibited by the pitiful creature who maligned your great name and sterling character by creating that abysmal email. I belief the information that your email account has been hacked does not lead to you undue alarm and would like you very well in securing your account."

And then the kicker, proving just how wonderful a male Adler is:

"And in the long run, should really your travels get you to Austin, make sure you know that all people is welcome below, even individuals like those people who wrote that email whose sights are an embarrassment to modernity, decency, and widespread sense."

Adler's mic-droppingly amazing reaction inspires hope for a entire world fewer loaded with fools like our dear letter-writer. Until then ... oof! Hera, give us energy we want to wade via this type of sexist nonsense.

Mic drop. GIF from "Speculate Lady."

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Wonder Woman 1984’s Maxwell Lord is a Trumpian Villain For Our Time

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The best movie villains are ones who tie into a deeper theme. The Dark Knight Joker isn’t scary solely for his mad unpredictability, he is terrifying because he embodies a thematic nihilism that Bruce has chosen to fight against every time he puts on the cowl. It will (hopefully) be six weeks before we see Wonder Woman 1984, but Den of Geek had the chance to garner some insight into the sequel film during a set visit two years ago.

Coming away from that visit, I was most excited about the relevance of the film’s main themes to contemporary America. While the Wonder Woman sequel is set in 1984, it seems to be a story that taps into the anxieties and frustrations of late stage capitalism (though the producers and cast never used this terminology). Wonder Woman 1984 antagonist Maxwell Lord (played by The Mandalorian‘s Pedro Pascal) is the perfect villain to embody that theme. Described by producer Anna Obropta as a “desperate, self-obsessed, fraudulent entrepreneur who runs a business selling the American dream,” Wonder Woman 1984‘s depiction of a villain doesn’t sound so far away from what many of our society’s real-life villains look like, and that might not be a coincidence…

Maxwell Lord has a long history in the comics. First introduced in 1987’s Justice League #1 and previously depicted on-screen in Smallville and Supergirl, Lord is generally depicted as a cunning and powerful businessman. In Wonder Woman 1984, he is the president of Black Gold International, a corporation that promises to give the people of America, according to the trailer, “everything [they] always wanted.”

“[The 1980s] was the height of everything that we’re now paying the price for,” says director Patty Jenkins. “It was like we thought for sure it could go on forever and there was going to be no price and you could just exponential growth then it could keep going and all of this excess. And so I think, in that way, we’re talking about then and we’re also talking about right now. We’re talking about what we’re dealing with right now because that struggle is very much alive in our own psyche.”

Producer Anna Obropta expands on this discussion of theme by highlighting the decision to set the sequel film in 1984.

Why 1984? America was at the peak of its power and its pride. It was everything from commercialism, fashion, wealth, even violence was in excess. It was a decade of greed and desire with time of me and more, so America was really at its peak. It was humanity at its best and at its worst. 1984 because it was a year of lessons learned, lessons for a goddess warrior and lessons for all of us.

How does Maxwell Lord tie into all of this? He epitomizes that greed and desire, building his unsustainable business model on that part of all of us that wishes for having without consequence. As Jenkins puts it: “[He is] somebody who’s everything about that era and what we believed in then that has resulted in who we are now.”

When it comes to a film, nothing you see on screen is a coincidence. It was a conscious, ideally story-driven choice made by a production department under the vision of the director. When it comes to the aesthetic of Maxwell Lord, it’s not a coincidence he dresses like Donald Trump circa 1980-something. When we visit the costume department, a photo of 80s-era Trump is on a board of inspirations for Lord’s costuming.

“[Maxwell Lord is a man who] appears to have quite a bit of money, but not so much taste,” costumer designer Lindy Hemming tells us. “So he has really beautiful tailoring done by lovely tailors, and beautiful fabrics, really elegant and expensive, but just something is not quite right. How’s that? They don’t quite fit and they’re not quite right. And I’m sure that people will think I don’t know anything about tailoring when they see it, but the truth is, that’s how we wanted them to be.”

Speaking about using a younger Trump as inspiration, Hemming says: “There is something about the period of Donald Trump and being a businessman, isn’t there, of being rather sleazy a little bit, and a bit goofy and a lot of talk. So that’s why he’s there.”

Much of the action in Wonder Woman 1984 is based in Washington D.C. During our set visit, we get to tour Diana’s swanky-yet-comfortable, D.C.-based apartment, as well as a White House Oval Office set where, presumably, Maxwell Lord spends some time. Later in the set visit, we watch Jenkins films a scene that sees Diana and Steve facing off against Maxwell Lord and his henchman in the halls of the White House—another not-so-subtle hint that, while Lord is very much his own filmic character with a history in the comics, his specific portrayal in this film draws at least partial inspiration from the real-life antagonist currently sitting in the real-life Oval Office.

“You know, what I wanted this movie to be about was pretty clear fairly early on,” says Jenkins, discussing the thematic important of truth and its manipulation in the film. “There is something about what the world wants to talk about right now, and [Diana] happens to have this lasso of truth, and truth ends up figuring in very large.”

It should be noted that, like most big-budget studio tentpoles, this film is not overtly political. In fact, when discussing having filmed in D.C. and the city’s prominence in the film, Gal Gadot specifically says: “The movie is not a political movie, but … it taps on issues that are very current.”

I don’t believe there is such a thing as an apolitical movie—films that viewers tend to classify as such are really just movies that reinforce the political and social status quo. I doubt that Wonder Woman 1984 is going to be particularly subversive (though, frankly, as a big-budget Hollywood film that centers women in positions of creative authority both in front of and behind the camera, its existence in and of itself is subversive), but I am interested in the filmmakers interest in using the 1980s as a setting not solely for its fun fashion and its hip tunes, but as “a metaphor for this time,” as producer Charles Roven puts it.

The best antagonists and themes also challenge our hero in some way. Maxwell Lord and his promise of easy happiness driven by greed and desire goes against everything that Diana believes in and works for, but that doesn’t mean she might not be susceptible to the temptation. (Isn’t it interesting that Steve Trevor somehow appears decades after his death?)

When we catch back up with Diana, she is secretly saving the world as Wonder Woman, but also working in cultural anthropology and archeology at the Museum of Natural History in the Smithsonian.

“While she’s still doing her best to stoically perform her duty to protect humanity, we learn early in the film that she’s very slightly disengaged with the world, and a bit lonely,” says Obropta. “The world whips around her, as people chase after dreams of wealth and power and fame, dreams that are apparently for sale by [Lord].”

The film’s other antagonist, Kristen Wiig’s Barbara Minerva (aka Cheetah), is one of the people who buys what Lord is selling. While Barbara enters the story as Diana’s co-worker and newfound friend, she “falls prey to this scheme of Black Gold International,” says Obropta.

“She starts to transform,” continues Obropta. “At first look, it is a dream come true. She’s wished for and now feels more confident. She feels more beautiful. She feels physically stronger. She feels more seen and respected in the world, but her power takes a very fast, very dark turn as she transforms into this vicious and savage creature, like nothing we could have ever imagined.”

Barbara isn’t the only person whose dreams begin to come true.

“At first, it’s great,” says Obropta, “but what happens if you get everything you ever wanted, everything you think you deserve? … What happens when the entire world gets what they want at the same time? What are the consequences for Barbara? For [Maxwell Lord]? For Diana? For you and for the world?”

Through a certain lens, it’s a capitalist thought experiment wrapped up in a superhero movie, and I say that with the utmost delight presuming that it is still going to be mostly epic fight sequences and Diana getting shit nobly done. Movies don’t have to be overtly political to mean something. They’re reflecting and impacting our culture whether they are meant to or not, whether we want them to or not. I appreciate that Wonder Woman 1984 seems to be trying something thematically new, especially in its use of the 1980s not simply as an excuse to rock shoulder pads and Walkmans but as a major turning point in our country’s relationship to and execution of its capitalist ideals.

“I would say that it’s a good bet that Patty was using that time as a metaphor for this time,” reflects Roven. “There are a lot of similarities to where the world was. It’s remarkable how those similarities just keep growing.”

Wonder Woman 1984 hits theaters on October 2nd. Warner Bros. will be dropping a new trailer for the film this Saturday during the Wonder Woman 1984 panel at 1pm ET at DC Fandome.

The post Wonder Woman 1984’s Maxwell Lord is a Trumpian Villain For Our Time appeared first on Den of Geek.

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