#but ive been feeling the burn out again
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Does Vash ever pick up other stragglers out in the desert to temporarily travel with?
Yes he does! Though, lemme be clear, he’d be super cautious in general of people. Can’t be too careful, you know, specially since there are still people out there that want him dead!! And that means he’ll be thinking of ‘is this person capable of surviving shit that happens around me’, and/or ‘is this person out to GET ME?’
It allll depends on the situation in question. But yeah, he has been known to travel with people that he’s kinda picked up along the way. He may not stay in their company for long, you know how he can be, but the possibility IS out there.
It also depends on which Vash you get picked up by. My main Vash(known these days as The Veteran, based on the TriMax manga) is likely to take someone to the closest safe settlement then—vanish if he can manage it! Enjoy his company while it lasts LOL (If you encounter Diablo, and your life isn’t in danger, he might just…. Keep on walking and not interact, but then again Diablo IS rare and and not good at acting like a person)
And though he’s only a wee sprout of muse, I have a small side muse for Stampede!Vash, whom I mark with a little 🌻, affectionately called Sunny by the surrounding community of rpers hereabouts to differentiate him from the others hehehe Sunny is the one that’ll be worried and help out with less calculated concern for his own safety.
There surely have been a couple of interesting adventures he’s had with another muse or two (outside of his canon companions), and I’m sure there will be more in the future!
#;;munnerings#he’s always looking out for people#no matter the verse#but his guardedness is measured by where in his timeline he is hehehe#also if this is an ask sent to put of feelers for RP#I’m open to chatting and may some wee things#but ive been feeling the burn out again#so im slow and some things dont get too far#i swear its just my brain and not anyone else’s fault though#so please come poke Vash#he’s always willing at least to say hello!#;;queue
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Burnt out
#initially this was meant to be something else entirely#but i wasn't really liking how it was going so I scrapped the idea and opted out for something a bit more personal#ive been really suffering from burn out for the last few years and just barely keeping my head above water#there are times where i seriously feel like ive failed in every aspect of my career#like if i were good enough i wouldn't have burnt out#i love my job and i love my trade i love every skill ive gain up until this point#but its been hard not to take it personally when all the effort you've put into honing those skills#are abused or exploited#life is difficult enough already and and time is fleeting#taking time for yourself is above all the most important thing you can do to help your work flourish#taking a break isn't failure#its health#we aren't machines despite our industries treating us as such#just waiting and hoping that itll pay off#ive certainly learned my lesson#and im looking forward to brighter horizons#and healthier more respectful ones#ill be okay ive learned how to love my art in my personal time again#but i certainly need to let my mind rest and my body to recover#these tags are lengthy anyways#unionize and dont work for nothing from large companies#be gay do drugs love your friends make art for yourself too#my art#scuttles out of here#i hope these long ass images actually show up in full resolution#i did draw them fucking TOLL as hell
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-Pari Anon
Pari!Reader gets sad when their leaf mask gets torn. Whether they were playing too rough or Wei (the cat in the inn lobby) tore it, they lost their mask. They have those sad anime eyes (the cutely exaggerated ones). They want to fix it, but no one else knew about that leaf mask.
They stay gloomy for the rest of the day until Xiao comes back.
The next day, they see a little replica of Xiao’s mask made from wood. It was sitting near their nest. When they tried it in, it was light but sturdy. Who could have gotten it for them? How was it so detailed? Who could have known? Oh well. Time to play, little Pari thinks.
Xiao didn’t have the heart to just leave them after he heard them crying when the leaf mask was ripped. He might have put a charm on this one so it wouldn’t break as easily.
[ previous post ]
xiao was better than this. the last yaksha, conqueror of demons, the bane of all evil himself.. searching the plains of liyue well into the night for a suitable piece of wood to carve. it wasn’t for an offering, it wouldn’t be turned into an incense bowl or statue, it was neither for a critical repair or somehow enchanted to be a danger. no, this wood would be used for a far more frivolous purpose: you.
you, who he’d been watching from the roof as you played on the balcony below. you with your mock spear and wei with his paws, uselessly batting at each other in a play fight. he thought it was ridiculous, really—your thin wings would surely bleed beneath any monster’s claws, better you learn to run away from danger—but had watched. it was harmless fun. you ducked behind the potted bonsai for protection, racing around the trunk and likely making the poor cat dizzy, when a harsh rip echoed into the night. you stopped, looking behind you as the two halves of your ‘mask’ fluttered to the floor, torn by one of the branches of the tree. his only thought was that you weren’t hurt, watching as wei tackled you off the pot and onto the floor, but you squirmed free quickly, floating over to the remains… sadly? wei followed, sniffing the leaves, but you didn’t seem interested in playing anymore. you sat by the leaves for far too long, not even moving when wei curled up beside you.
it was nothing. it was a leaf tied around your head with another’s stem, bound to rot and flake away anyway, but you were sulking the next day. he never thought he’d return to his makeshift room and have you not fly up to him with a cloud of chirps, and he quickly decided he didn’t like it. if you were sad you lost your mask, then he’d just have to get you a new one.
he kicked at the remains of a campfire, stomping out the remaining embers. an abandoned adventurer’s camp of some sort, the air free of any malicious warnings. besides the remains of the campfire were a few stray logs, likely spare firewood. he dug through the measly pile, pulling out a log. there was no rot, water damage, no sign of bugs or anything else that would ruin the wood. without another thought, he tucked it under his arm, turning and vanishing into the wind.
he had left when you were already asleep, so he could go straight to his room, but he made a stop first. yanxiao hardly jumped when he turned from the stove, though he did eye the log in his hands strangely.
“what can i get you?”
“i need to borrow a knife.”
“…” he laughed, propping his hands on the table in front of him, and xiao grit his teeth. an adepti, reduced to this… “what, did you lose your spear?”
“of course i didn’t,” he snapped, “but i’m not foolish enough to think i can use a spear to carve wood.”
yanxiao nodded in understanding, reaching into his pocket for a small flip knife. it was barely as long as one of his fingers, the handle a dark wood. “this should do, i think.” he threw the knife underhand, and xiao caught it with ease. the blade flicked out easily, sharp to the touch. “remember to cut away from you, yeah?”
his grip tightened on the knife, leaving without thanks.
safely in the shadow of his room, xiao finally relaxed. one by one, he removed his guards and charms, quietly setting them in their respective places. you were curled up in your bed as always, none the wiser as he stepped out onto the balcony. he sat facing the moon, setting his mask on the floor beside him. again drawing the small knife, he braced the wood in his lap and began to carve.
yanxiao was many things, but a fool he was not. he had heard from verr about your mask tearing yesterday, about how you sat quietly on xiao’s terrace for the rest of the day in a pout. you were a strange guest, certainly, but you were xiao’s. he kept very limited company, and those he lingered around felt his affections quietly.
when flowers had blown off their tables prior to the reception of an important guest, a mysterious bundle of qingxin had found it’s way onto the reception desk to replace them. when the eccentric xianyun had stopped by for a ‘surprise lunch,’ a small note in familiar writing on his table told him her tastes. when your small, flimsy mask tore in two… well, he couldn’t wait to find out.
he worked as usual, trading guesses with verr as he helped ferry plates back and forth. would he fetch you new leaves in perpetuity? fetch new ones from your home nation of sumeru? find a new toy to distract you? neither of them had ever met a pari before, didn’t know what you wanted or needed to thrive, but they entertained themselves with nonsense speculation nontheless.
xiao showing up in his kitchen without warning was nothing out of the ordinary. yanxiao had learned to pick out the shift in air pressure that signaled his arrival, wiping off his hands and putting the washed vegetables aside. the flat expression on his face was also routine, but the log he held most certainly wasn’t. handcarved offerings weren’t all too uncommon in liyue, especially from an adeptus, but he had a feeling it wasn’t for rex lapis or another adepti.
the next question, of course, was what he would carve. verr suggests a wooden mimic of the leaf mask and he can’t hide the way that makes him laugh, his smile wider than usual as he greets customers.
that night, if you stood just quietly enough beneath the upper balcony and the wind blew the right way, you would hear the quiet scrape of wood and metal. and the next morning, if you were anywhere near the inn, you would likely see a bright pari weaving through the levels, eager to show off their brand new mask carved by the hero of dihua marsh himself.
#m1d : [chats]#m1d : [secrets]#pari anon#WHATS UP CHATTERS#IVE HAD THIS ASK FOR 323 DAYS#FEELING GOOD (LIE)#either next up or the one after is the promised fatuiposting because. because. b. because-#pari anon pretty please dont hate me 🙏#im working on your other asks as we speak xoxo#i finally went through and logged all the asks in my inbox which ive been meaning to do forever#theres like 30+ of them but we ball we ball we ball we ball#feeling motivated n im going to try not to burn myself out again cause ngl? shit sucks#oh also happy 4/20 to those who celebrate
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💗💗🎀💗💗
[Image description: Digital illustration featuring a black person with curly brown hair and brown-pink eyes holding a heart shaped lollipop. They wear a pink choker with frills and have nail art decorated with gems and ribbons. Flowery and sparkly white graphics decorate the image further. End description]
#pink#eye strain#brown and pink#art#digital art#ribbon#sweets#heart#heart shaped#heartcore#pink aesthetic#brart#brazilian artist#arte brasileira#illustration#star of the show#its been so long since ive fully finished a drawing#that wasnt a commission i mean#i just have been so burned out this year#its nice to just do something in a single day and feel happy with the result again
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"In Pieces."
This is an incredibly important set of paintings for me. This has been my passion project of around 6 months now, and my attempt at healing and facing memories of something I've buried for 6 years. This has been incredibly cathartic, and I hope you enjoy<3
Some individual shots of each painting below (please excuse the poor lighting, my room does not have the best light!)
Organs: Blood and colored pencil on canvas, 16×20
Video beneath the cut!
More shots to show off the gold on the skeleton (cinematography is NOT my strong suit😭😭😭)
Skeleton: Acrylic, blood, and gold on canvas, 18×24
#tw fake blood#tw fake gore#(??? maybe??)#artwork#painting#artists on tumblr#traditional art#art#artist#I hope everyone likes these#i was hesitant to post them bc ik people have primarily folmowed for fanart-#i havent been doing much digital art bc i was honestly getting burned out and didnt feel as connected to my art anymore#so my last couple pieces have all been more#idk experimental???#ive been getting back into traditional art again and ive definitely refounded my love for creating#but yeah!! id usually welcome critique but im honestly already happy with these as is#have a lovely day if ur reading these<3
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please take as much time as you need to rest and recover. burn out is so hard and takes so much to heal from. your art and your supporters will still be here when you get back :) take care <3
Thank you very much
Unfortunately, my situation doesn't really allow me to take the time I need. I've got a ~two month hiatus scheduled for my midseason, but much like my first hiatus I'll most likely be working double time during it...
It's unfortunate because I could really really use a bigger break!
Having the time and flexibility to work on other projects really fires me up and keeps me going, and being able to take a guilt free day off for family and friends is necessary to my mental health, and I've been having to turn people down lately...
This is a very kind message, and I'm sorry to vent in response! But I just feel transparency about the pressure I'm under is necessary and important. I'd love to take the time I really need, but due to deadlines and that pesky "needing money to live" I can't.
But, once the series is over I intend to take a pretty big break before I start whatever I'm doing next! I've got so many short stories and projects planned that I want so badly to get to, I can't wait to really get to truly dive in to them!
#im so sorry to take a nice message and respond like this! but just... trust me haha i know my supporters are genuinely here for me <3#but webtoon... not so much unfortunately. i mean im sure i could take a longer break but theres the looming anxiety#that ill get in trouble or itll ruin my chances of working with them again etc etc#i took this week and i genuinely took it off. sort of? i flew to a convention which was exhausting#and i did paintings that i hope to print eventually#and i. started planning and prepping for a Kickstarter. for time and time again...#so ive still been working the whole time. but i love working!#i just... like to be able to work on things OTHER than time and time again...#and unfortunately for a few months. more than a few months. i haven't been able to do anything outside of it.#even all of my paintings have been for it cause i cant afford to switch my mindset!#my first hiatus i moved. worked on a pitch for my next series. and then i made two episodes a week the entire time#and i still ran out of episodes...#i dont know if im just not fast enough or if something is wrong with my brain that i have to fight to get it to focus but.#yeah i mean ive been burned out! been really burned out for like a year now#i can tell by how much better i feel after literally 1 week of doing anything else#and how tired i feel explaining this and knowing ive got another 3 months before i get another break#ok sorry i vented a lot more in the tags. it's hard to explain all of this eloquently and i like my posts to be somewhat professional#asks#anon#vent#delete later#and also how often my brain keeps wanting me to like. beg for 'nice words' from other people#(i always stop myself from asking people for compliments and stuff because otherwise i get very carried away and do it too regularly)#(people are very nice to me all the time. the kindness is endless and i need to let myself recognize and appreciate it rather than seek more#(its sort of a mental health thing I've been trying to like... force myself to do)#(for myself and my longevity but also for others sake lol. ive been bad about it in the past)
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Lol
#now i KNOW im burned out like im usually pretty on top of schoolwork ive always been on top of things#or mostly anyhow. i do go to pieces a bit during exam or midterm season but it always works out in the end#first time ive missed assignments without realising i had any to do at all last week 😂😂😂 this is so sad#the cherry on top of that mud pie is that i cant even muster the strength to be panicked or upset#i'm just tired!#anyway i know what i need to do to catch up im just surprised at the level of exhaustion i feel just thinking about studying again
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art trade for a friend :3
#my art#ive been feeling burned out like all year especially these last few months so it feels nice to make something good again#furry art#sfw furry
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messing around a bit
#delete later#man i havent rly drawn for myself in a while it feels weird#trying to play around w my style lately but i dont think its getting anywhere whwhkjsdghjdg#shoutout to yuzuru if nobody's got me after burning out all of my creative juices ik hes got me#should probably go to sleep early tonight got assigned another project to work on through next week at my internship 😔#still going through a very mixed feelings stage regarding on how i see my art but ill live i guess#just. nothing is good enough. im never gonna be satisfied. i think this looks fine. this is the worst thing ive ever seen and made.#im gonna fall behind. it isnt a race. everyones already far ahead. maybe this is okay. why are you satisfied with this much its not enough.#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa being an artist am i right ! agony#well i guess lately its not that i just havent been drawing things for me but more like i cant for some reason. burnouts an asshole#even though i really really did want to make things it honestly sucked ass not being able to i rly dont know what id do if i cant draw#actually took some time for myself yesterday and walked around town a bit it was nice. pierced my ears again and treated myself#but as consequence of course i am now broke </3 unfortunate#hmmmmm idk what im saying kdjsjgdhhskgjdhsdg hope things r going well for everyone else if you're even reading this! may u have a good week#man i wish i just knew if things are gonna be okay#hngggg baru aja tiga bulan masuk balik sekolah sama udah secapek ini wkwkwkwkkwkwk payah gk sih gw ini#masih setahun lebih sampe lulus juga head in hands kenapa gk bisa tidur buat seminggu aja aaagh#ya yang penting juga gw masih hidup sih gk mau kemana-mana kyk gini#aaaaaaaaa gk mau masuk studio besokkkk mau tidurrrr#me when i have to do my job at work#i wonder what i should make for lunch and dinner tomorrow. knowing me though ill end up falling asleep as soon as i get out of the shower#sorry this is. all over the place props if you're even reading this far LOL apologies you have to see me rant a bit
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i need to make frost more of a freak right now
#ive decided she did know about the murder actually. why not. she deliberately disabled her own child why not just make her worse#im just trying to figure out her exact motives. cause before she was shitty but grounded (more like odin)#i still dont think she’d have stayed with flamberge. flamberge doesn’t want to be close to others while she yearns for companionship#im thinking that shes been kinda. bored maybe. not in a funny way but like she feels like her life has lost meaning#ooooo maybe i can make her a dark parallel to cheri… she unwillingly becomes a single explorer and loses everything#(and in marlows case outright throws him away and burns that bridge)#but she doesnt get any enjoyment out of her work anymore now that shes alone#plus gets no gratification or anything from it#and being with flamberge is like. something new and frightening in a way she never imagined life could be#she wants to be their accomplice now cause she feels like shes in power again and like her egos been healed#hell… potential future antagonist? maybe? dunno?#‘’we could be toxic yuri :)’’ ‘’ok well i dont want to be toxic yuri’’ ‘’this isnt about you.’’#shes also selfish to a fault i think. like if she can throw someone under the bus to save her skin then she will. queen of mental gymnastics#echoed voice#starfall tag
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...
#truly i have too modes. so fucking busy i cant breathe. cant think without a muddled lag. feeling motion sick as i walk#a path ive walked a thousand times over. or not busy enough. without thr pressure i revert to a liquid state and spill across the floor#i cant seem to do anything. at least when im busy i cant feel how miserable i am. at least for a little while bc i have to focus#idk how to find a balance. it always seems to be all or nothing. outside my control but directed by my control#ugh. after the month ive had the misery's caught up with me. also i havent been sleeping enough#i felt horrible all day in the lab ans i was like. i mean maybe its low bloodsugar? but then when i went home i felt 1000 times better#which is. ya kno understandable but not great#idk i can just feel the anger leaking out from under my skin. ive made the system unlivable. now im suffocating on the echo of pain#and i feel bad bc it must b all over my face. bitterness simmering in my words#i met with my boss today for a delayed meeting of a delayed meeting and showed her some preliminary data. she was excited and asked what i#felt abt it. and i dont feel anything abt it. nothing. i dont care i dont care i dont care i dont fucking care#set my datasheets on fire. burn them to ash. i wouldnt feel anything#and im sure some of that sentiment came thru bc she later texted me to reiterate how cool the data is bc no ones done a study this#extensive ans i dont kno how to reply bc again i dont care. theres no breathing enthusiasm back. that dim light has been extinguished. i#look forward to never having to think abt it again.#whatever the more pressing issue is that i cant get my brain to function enough to save me from the other problems i have boiling over#just me sabotaging potential future happiness from where i sit unhappily in the present#annoying. ugh i need to sleep.#unrelated
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finished assignments for today. welp off to the incinerator
#AUGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!#I think finals seasons upcoming is dawning on me#I was trying to take it easy for burn out i really was and it was helping!!!#I started being able to think about my special interest again!!#I stopped fantasizing about passing out in front of somebody so someone would notice how bad it is!!#But now its all coming back and I feel so bad. I cant focus I cant do any work#I barely managed to do 3 statistics questions and one paragraph for a project. in 9 hours#I really dont know what im going to do I feel so sick#Ive never had mental health issues impact my academics before like this#Its really bad and the worst part is i think its been bad for a while#my mom called me today about medical school prep and I felt sick to my stomach#I continue to be the family problem child only 2 steps away from being the family disappointment here we go!!!!!!!#shut up me
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Idk generally speaking i have a weird relationship to this game. My character is the best OC i have ever created, Endwalker changed my life. On the other hand i find the gameplay quite uninteresting (especially when it comes to raids), i hated HW, SB was fun but nothing more, SHB... bad timing IRL to enjoy it thouroughly. And mostly, this sensation i have to force myself to play in spite of not having fun and that i'm stuck in a timeloop and it will never end (spoiler: it's a mmorpg. It will not end)
I know i've said as much several times already but always end up repressing the idea maybe i should just stop. But maybe i should. For real.
#Doesn't help that it took me more than a year to complete all the expansions#I know it doesnt usually take that long#So i guess that's partly why i feel like i've lingered for too long and im just tired#It's not even a gamer burn out. Ive been burnt out on wow and it isnt the same sensation#I have been reasonable and i am even too slow so the only thing i could see an experience was this game. For a year and 3 months#I do need to replay shb now that im ok again but like. In several months
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please know anytime i get an ask like this im EATING IT UP even if my thoughts are messy and all over the place. would take some while to make up something fully cohesive and of quality so yknow i hope even my on the spot ideas are interesting to you all :D
#though i feel like i should re read some canon stuff again#getting the feeling im getting out of touch a little bit....#i will soon since im no longer stressing about irl stuff rn#but ill see if i get to it#ive been having severe motivation issues - and even if tt is still my main hyperfix#if my brain wants to play different games or talk about other stuff#i WILL do that instead .if i force myself to toontown i will burn myself out even more. but believe me i still go autism on the wiki n such#just no motivation to play.... i still feel bad for being a big disengaged with the og media but#then again i played toontown and ONLY toontown DAILY for several months straight i think its valid i need to chill a bit#and only use the info i got on my mind#still feel bad for not pulling out saved dialogue or ingo or go re read the wiki or cogs ink i could be more accurate i feel#but then again i dont demand this accuracy from others myself. its okay if i take it a bit easy i dont have to force myself. my autismening#can come antyime it wants and needs to. i just feel bad bc this is my main hyperfix.#okay sorry about that i just needed to mention all this as its been kinda killing me for months.#but anyways despite all of this i LOVE thinkin abt toontown and what stories and changes could be made and told!!!!#pleaaase do keep sending me these types of asks even if its about ocs and stuff i encourage you#IS FOAMING AT THE MOUTH#rambles
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I'll tell ya what though, nothing makes you want to get out of dog stuff for a while quite like your childhood dog passing traumatically in your arms
#ive barely been a person since Banana died#his life and his death both haunt me daily#every time im in bed cuddling with Hermes i cry about it#wanting to do better for your current and future pets does jack all for the dead#i wanted to at least give him a good last day but i couldnt even do that#training with Hermes and Eevee fills me with grief and guilt and often launches me into flashbacks of his death#ive been so burned out and sick since we moved and covid ruined my health even more#and now trying to get better and get back into working with my dogs regularly without him... it feels wrong#better late than never doesnt apply when death is involved#death#animal death#tw death#tw animal death#early morning sad hours ig#i gave myself flashbacks again and this is me trying to intellectualize my way out of my emotional response
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.
#can't even explain how awful ive been feeling recently#all i do is work and even when i have free time i dont wanna do the things i usually love#i have nothing to look forward to#i have no friends that i can hang out with#obviously i have my sister and a friend online#but my sister is gonna leave again in a few weeks#and obviously i can't hang out with the online friend bc she lives in a different city#i work from home so i cant even really meet new people bc i never leave home only for grocery shopping once or twice a week#my colleagues aren't exactly my friends either#obviously im not in a relationship.. and honestly that's been really rough on me lately#i have no idea how to meet new people especially bc i live in a small city#idk im just so burned out i see no point in anything and im exhausted mentally all the time#i cant even go on a random vacation or anything bc we are in a shitty situation financially rn#im just. so tired of living <3#idk what i should do to motivate myself#anyway..#personal
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