#ive been so burned out and sick since we moved and covid ruined my health even more
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I'll tell ya what though, nothing makes you want to get out of dog stuff for a while quite like your childhood dog passing traumatically in your arms
#ive barely been a person since Banana died#his life and his death both haunt me daily#every time im in bed cuddling with Hermes i cry about it#wanting to do better for your current and future pets does jack all for the dead#i wanted to at least give him a good last day but i couldnt even do that#training with Hermes and Eevee fills me with grief and guilt and often launches me into flashbacks of his death#ive been so burned out and sick since we moved and covid ruined my health even more#and now trying to get better and get back into working with my dogs regularly without him... it feels wrong#better late than never doesnt apply when death is involved#death#animal death#tw death#tw animal death#early morning sad hours ig#i gave myself flashbacks again and this is me trying to intellectualize my way out of my emotional response
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