#but its also real and true. trust!)
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Smell Check [Easy: Failure]
MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 1 (part 2 - part 3)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#disco elysium#MDZS Disco Elysium AU#So sad I didn't manage to get this comic out on the 15th (pd-mdzs's 8 month anniversary and DE's 4th year anniversary) but I'm here *now*#I have a very extensive and detailed MDZS Disco Elysium AU that I am Not Normal About.#I've seen a few other people point out the potential in a crossover (true) but they make the mistake in having it be set in 51!#A true crossover would take place closer to The Antecentennial Revolution!#Disco Elysium did not go that hard on its cool lore for people to only make surface level crossovers!!!#One day I'll write the fic or post my notes. I don't know who would read it but it tickles *my* brain and that's enough.#No spoilers for DE (here or in comments (please)) but please consider....Magpie Wei Wuxian B*) On his way to be an innocent.#I do think there is a good chance a chunk of the MDZS readership would enjoy DE but...it's also not a game I easily recommend#It's more of an experience you have to marinate over. It's dark in ways that are off putting to some people.#It makes you feel like a very bad person all the time. It gets extremely personal if you allow yourself to be honest in your answers#and it's also the game that saved my life. My life was truly forever changed after playing disco elysium.#If I recommend it to people it's a badge of the trust I have in you to appreciate something dear to me B'*)#If you decide to play: PLEASE go in as blind as possible. You will regret spoiling yourself.#edit: this is based on real disco elysium dialogue. HDB has many canon kinks but this is not one of them
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anyways will begging hannibal not to lie to him as he drags gideon into his house. yea
#such a brief scene but very real#the juxtaposition of knowing theyre lying and hiding the truth from you#and begging them to tell you cuz you cant stand not knowing anymore#but also praying that its not really true. that there is a reality thats softer#but that softer reality can only exist in a world in which you cant trust yourself#so what is the better outcome?#fic ref#since im clearly projecting at this point that scene lasted 4 seconds
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my cure for art block is drawing high roller and my cure for curing my mental health is drawing soft cute art so i combined it. still got the sick mood so this freak gets cozy and some tea after show running for so long
#not enough soft high roller art im gonna cough up a fucking lung so im gonna do it myself and not coughing up my lung in the im currently#sick kinda way#i am cool sharp art enthusiast but i dont always have the energy to do that so. giggle. go to my roots a wee bit#kinda chibified her too but uhmmmmmm TRUST ME i cant do more proportionate fullbodies currently I TRIED so YEAH.#also the message on the drawing is true red sweaters / hoodies / oversized shirts are a guzma iconic thing thats my cartoon wardrobe#once its colder my wardrobe will be just that once more i will be my real self#toontown#toontown corporate clash#high roller#guz art
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We all know how a lot of Luffy's opponents have been in some ways premonitions of the type of person Luffy could end up as if something went wrong in his life. For example Moria is what Luffy could've become had he truly lost his entire crew at Sabaody if Kuma had not saved them
And we know Crocodile is what Luffy maybe could've become had Luffy given up on his dreams and become jaded after losing to him. But like, when you think about it, that's not the only dark reflection of Luffy in Crocodile, is it
'Cause Crocodile, despite employing people for Baroque Works, did not trust anyone around him and did not considder anyone to be anything else but an employee to him. And we know he had been planning on taking over Alabasta for like 14 years (at the very least), BW being a thing for only the past four (pre-timeskip)
So like. Did Crocodile spend the last 14 years alone
Like yes he had his workers at the Casino and Robin etc, so he was like, around people, he wasn't like Brook who was in Total Isolation. But on an emotional level, has he not spent the last 14 years all by himself, completely detached from anyone, unable to trust or rely on anyone else?
That is sad as fucking shit, holy hell
'Cause then you compare him to like Luffy and like
Our sweet baby boy was so afraid of being alone that Luffy literally went through hell just to gain Ace's approval despite Ace trying to signal to him he wasn't interested befriending him
And through out the whole series Luffy reiterates time and time again how he needs and wants his friends around because he literally can't live without them, both on a literal "he can't cook or navigate or have fun by himself" level but also on that emotional level
And Crocodile just. Spent 14 years of his life, if not longer, alone.
Sweet jesus what happened to this man
And that just makes me further wonder, what the absolute fuck were Crocodile's Rookie Pirate days like?? Like did he have a crew or was he just yolo'ing it by himself???
Like. Mihawk's never been on a crew as far as we know. Kuma was a Revolutionary, not a pirate, but he wasn't like alone still. Doflaming, Hancock, Jinbei and Moria however have/had crews of their own. So what was Crocodile's deal? Did he have a crew before? Was he a captain or was he on someone else's ship? (Although surely the Government wouldn't offer the position of a Shichibukai to a cabin boy or the first mate, right)
And if he did have a crew, the hell happened to them??
Like we know Crocodile got his ass kicked by Whitebeard, I just find it unlikely Whitebeard would've pulled a Kaidou on Crocodile's crew and slaughtered them, that's not a very Whitebeard-y thing do, right?? ...Unless Whitebeard was just different 20+ years ago and was willing to annihilate entire crews. We don't know.
Or maybe Crocodile and his entire crew were like Turbo Rotten from the beginning and Whitebeard figured they deserved to get wiped out, much like how we saw Shanks wipe out Kid's crew at Elbaf. Or maybe Whitebeard saw no reason to have mercy on someone affiliated with the World Government.
That all said, if we wanted to assume Crocodile had somekind of trauma that lead to him viewing people not only as disposable but also untrustworthy, then maybe losing people dear to him like that wouldn't lead to that mindset. Like Moria witnessed his beloved crew die and that caused him to want to create a crew he couldn't die, so he wouldn't go through that emotional trauma again.
Which leaves me to wonder. If something caused him to lose his ability to (emotionally) trust people, and if Whitebeard broke his dreams...
Maybe Crocodile had a crew. And maybe they abandoned him when he lost to Whitebeard. Figuring they didn't need a weak captain who was probably going to bleed to death anyways.
Or maybe the crew tried to take his head (after Whitebeard kicked his ass), after all, he was already a Shichibukai, anybody who took Crocodile's head could maybe attempt to take that title for themselves if the Government allowed it, and if not, at least gain more fame for themselves.
Either of these scenarios would certainly result in you losing your ability to rely on others. And leave you willing to spend the rest of your life alone. Who would have in them to go through that again.
Or maybe he came out of the womb unable to trust people and he was just yolo'ing it by himself like Mihawk right from the begining, who knows
Regardless I'm just
#Moon posting#Sir Crocodile#OP Meta#Me @ Crocodile: Who hurt you#No fucking wonder Crocodile was absolutely deranged in Alabasta#Dude just spent like 14 years speaking to a wall by himself. Or maybe not who knows the walls could betray him too#This man has so much unresolved trauma#BTW if true this would also make Crocodile a dark reflection of Robin. Which is a different layer of sad on its own#Like. Both expecting the other to be the one to betray them. And in the end it's Robin who shot first.#Break week in the middle of Kuma Backstory. I am in pain.#When will our husband return from the war#I need to know what his deal is so bad. I must study him under a microscope#My derangement will not know end until then#There could've been a counterargument that Crocodile couldn't trust anyone lest his Utopia Plans got ruined#And to be fair if the Government had found out his plans would've been screwed. Shichibukai Rights REVOKED#But he still seems to carry those trust issues since Mihawk is on relatively thin ice it seems#So me thinks. This smells like trauma.#The real conclusion to this post is that the Crocodile x Daz shippers are RIGHT
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my one (1) big nitpick of the PJO tv show
In a lot of the marketing material, Percy is wearing this green flannel and it seems to be his Primary Outfit.
WE ALREADY HAVE A BLOND CURLY HAIRED GREEN FLANNEL BOY IN THIS FANDOM!!! Every single time I see fanart I get jumpscared.
#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo#percy jackson#rick riordan#will solace#i mean. fanon will solace does usually have darker skin and distinctive freckles#but if you're comparing against the viria official art it is like. pretty shocking#of course. the fandom refuses to acknowledge that wills favorite color is green#but thata a seperate point#<<< never canonically confirmed but source just trust me#(the source is that nearly every time we hear about clothing that will has chosen it is green#even the shirt he buys for apollo in book 5 of ToA is green#and of course this is kind of just a coincidence most likely.#will solace isnt a character he's a piece of cardboard with tropes pasted onto him every couple of books and is structrually ujnsound#i say this as somebody who has will as my favorite pjo character. he's canon ically nothing but everything#so i do think this is just. happenstance#but its also real and true. trust!)
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been trying to figure out what exactly it is about aventurine that feels perhaps relatable, or what it is that makes me want to study him like a bug...
and camr to the thought that he's pretty pessimistic for am optimist...but also ob the other side of the same coin, he's optimiaric for a pessimist. kinda both at the same time,.or depending on the day or how you look at him maybe.
he's an optimist becuase he knows he's going to win. he always wins. he has always won his gambles. he knows it will happen again and again. his luck, or gift, or blessing, or whatever you want to call it ensures that. but he's also a pessimist becuase he knows that "win" also always comes with some kind of suffering for him. he wins all his gambles, but at what cost? a lot, actually. so is it really a win? he knows he will win, but he also knows he will be used, abused, sacrificed, broken, or in pain. he expects those to be a consequence of his winning luck, to the point of making sure it happens and becomes self-destructive because of it. he acts calmly like it's ok and is the outcome he wants and calls that a win because it's what he plans and expects. he bets on it and it happens.
but at the same time, he's slowly breaking and seems to want it to end. he tests the limits of his luck to see if it's a real "gift" or if it is all a coincidence and has an end. he probably wants to meet the end to end the pain and suffering, but knows his "luck" won't allow it. he wants to be against the luck and see if he can win. a whole contradiction it itself. his luck kept him alive so many times and continues to do so. it will always do so, unless perhaps his end is the goal. what if he bets on losing this time? bets in meeting his end? he needs to get lucky enough to achieve that goal. flip his lucky fate by turning his luck around, make his end the final lucky win.
but it seems like he either lost for once and didn't meet his end....maybe his luck truly does intend on keeping him alive...or he changed his mind in the end and got lucky enough to get out of meeting his end once again...
he's still a bit of an enigma to me and i'm not sure exactly what happened. but he's for sure a complex and amusing character (even if I still want to put him into a snow globe and shake it as hard as I can) and this whole penacony story is too complex for my soggy trashcan brain lmao but i'm enjoying the ride
#hsr#hsr aventurine#hsr spoilers#kinda spoilerish tbh#lee text#i could be very much misinterpreting him but this is just my brain trying to work things out so its not too deep#its a ramble for brain to try organizing thoughts#this quest left more answers than questions#like. FIREFLY?! is she even real! what is she who is she. why did they leave us on TO BE CONTINUED there!#also not to be a rock nerd but aventurine is a very pretty rock. i enjoy that pretty rock#also i reread this and its basically a nonsensical ramble and doesnt really make sense#its vague and doesnt really grasp him. hes too complex to fit neatly into my rotten worm brain so dont mind me and my rambles lmao#am too sleepy to use brain. make me do dailies and go to bed#ah. a thing i forgot to add to my ramble: hes always been alone ever since his sister left him. he only has himself to rely on#hes a very lonely character who doesnt have anyone to trust or rely on. no true friends. everyone uses or betrays him#perhaps hes afraid of this and further chooses to not trust and rely on anyone too much. he only has himself in the end#that part of him is very relatable. i also find it hard to trust and rely on anyone and am forever alone.....
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people really love to conveniently forget trans men exist when they talk about feminism. or if they dont they make us out as also part of the problem as if we somehow are able to have the same amount of privilege as cis men. absolutely wild
#“not all men” is a valid statement because its fucking true#like guys. seriously. not every single man is evil#feminism isnt about putting men down its about raising women up to be equal and getting rid of gender inequality#sorry im seeing a massive uptick in people hating on trans men for being men lately and its fucking stupid#like yall are doing a great job at making me feel ashamed to be a man who likes men. awesome thanks guys#i dont normally make posts like this but its been rattling around in my mind for a few days now#its always put out like. all men (trans or not) are Inherently Evil and all women (trans or not) are Inherently Victims#which is absolutely the stupidest shit ive ever seen#and they also leave out anyone who doesnt fit into the man/woman dichotomy. and if they dont its always seen as woman lite#which is also stupid as fuck#not every nb/agender/other person is feminine asshole#anways. case in point. can we stop demonizing masculinity while also discussing the effects of misogyny and the patriarchy please.#because both of those things are very real and very much do hurt people#but im sick of people lashing out at trans men as if the problem magically doesn't affect us anymore because we are men#because guess what! newsflash! it affects trans AND cis men too!!#i shouldnt have to explain it should be obvious but like. im tired man#sorry ill forever be annoyed at women who just hate every single man who dares breathe in their direction because they COULD be an asshole#if you hate someone because of their gender no matter what gender it is i Do Not Trust You#anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk. replies are off cause i dont want to argue with people i just want to express my opinion
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Dick at Janet Drake's funeral
Dick (internally): The cruel fates, the Greeks called them. The three sisters weaving the loom of life, spinning its golden threads into the years - cutting it whenever the whim took them. Stupid! But I guess we all need something to help us make sense of it all. We need to find meaning in the pain…patterns in the chaos. Tim needs it now, as I once did. As Bruce did before me. So why do we make our faces into masks? Why do we hide the pain we all feel?
Tim: Thanks for coming, Dick. I know how busy -
(They shake hands.)
Dick: It was the least I could do, Tim. Believe me - I know what you're going through. If you need any help, any time -
Tim (looking down): I appreciate that. But... I'll cope.
(In the background, we see Tim shaking somebody else's hand.)
Dick to Bruce: He's a brave kid. He's in control.
Bruce: Yes.
Dick: You know what comes next, don't you?
- Batman 455 (Christmas Eve, the day before Tim officially becomes Robin)
#nothing will ever be as great as dick's long pained internal monologue about why they hide the pain they feel#followed by a ritualized exchange of condolences with tim#followed by the robin costume as the memorial through which to channel grief#because none of them know how to grieve in normal ways#how could you possibly grieve for your dead parents other than dressing up in a costume at night & punching people?? impossible#also earlier in this comic tim has a nightmare in which dick and bruce are wearing masks & he demands to see their real faces#and they take their masks off & beneath their masks are MORE MASKS#and they're burying his mother and he screams at them saying it has to mean something#and then he sees a doppelgänger of himself with no mask & he demands that it show him its true face#and doppelgänger!tim starts PEELING HIS FACE OFF and underneath is a monstrous face that looks like a cross btw clayface & the joker#and then we cut to tim screaming in his sleep#anyway one of the many great things about this comic from a dick-and-tim perspective is that tim's subconscious mind is obsessing about#trying to make sense of senseless violence & about people hiding their true selves under masks#which is exactly the SAME THING that dick is obsessing about consciously so do they ACT on these insights and stop doing the#thing where they hide their emotions???? of course not are you crazy#anyway i am FASCINATED by that handshake#this is obviously a pre-prodigal interaction they're not really close yet#consider how different this is from dick calling tim when jack drake gets murdered (and also the ways the problem is the same!!)#listen LISTEN they're both people who routinely hide behind metaphorical and literal masks & it's hard to let other people see#and their whole relationship is this back-and-forth btw the defensive masks & slowly trusting each other enough to take off the masks#did you know that in resurrection at the end of their fight tim literally TAKES OFF HIS MASK when he's surrendering#did you know that they spend their entire red robin 4 fight in masks & don't see each other's faces until tim passes out in red robin 12#and dick catches him and while falling tim's mask has begun to FALL OFF#dick & tim#dick grayson#tim drake#hoc scripsi
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Not to be a jingfu on main, but it's so cute that Jing Yuan thought of Fu Xuan with those jelly beans
#me: the Xianzhou characters are all just coworkers#also me whenever anyone is shown to be fond and have intimate knowledge of some other character: awwww#Like Fu Xuan and Jing Yuan playing starchess and teasing each other or making a reference to things they like#or Jing Yuan talking about young Yukong#Quingque apparently disliking Fu Xuan but obviously that not being the case‚ knowing what she likes and how she thinks#Fu Xuan hiding that she has a sweet tooth but Jing Yuan and Quingque knowing it and teasing her for it#I don't know. There are a lot of instances of these small intimate details in the middle of what looks like a coworker relationship#Good coworkers‚ but coworkers nonetheless#And ironically it moves me so much? Even more so than Belobog. I've been told several times that Belobog seemed more tight. And I agree#In Belobog people were friends or family or companions but linked by something closer than mere coworkers with Wildfire#Even Sampo in the Underworld was strangely 'theirs'. He had the magenta colour of Wildfire and he was trusted to some extent#The Luofu characters don't have that. And yet the fragments of intimacy scattered through their interactions move me a lot#These are people who have known each other for centuries. Jing Yuan knows of Yukong's youth‚ its joy and grief#He knows Fu Xuan has a sweet tooth and teases her about her height. Quingque does too#Fu Xuan chastises both of them for being lazy but she knows they're smart and good at their job. She plays starchess with Jing Yuan#Quingque mocks Fu Xuan for being a workaholic but is very aware of the weight she carries both in her position and ideas about destiny#I won't mention Yanqing and Bailu because there is obviously more than a coworker bound when it comes to them#But yes I love the moments of intimate knowledge scattered through the Xianzhou‚ so telling of the fact that these people have known#each other for longer than several human lifetimes‚ and that perhaps they don't necessarily regard each other as more than their coworker#But perhaps that's enough in order for them to care. Perhaps in a lifetime over one thousand years the intimacy gained with a coworker#through several centuries is something beyond what we could understand in our decades lifespan#But also‚ perhaps‚ I don't know. Also‚ perhaps‚ the do care beyond coworkers in that strange line between work and friendship#Perhaps it's strange for Xianzhou natives to tell apart that kind of relationship after so much intimacy and knowledge through the years#And perhaps‚ once again‚ as it often happens for them‚ they think they'll always have enough time to tell; until they run out of it#They play chess together. Quingque can lose time because Fu Xuan can't stay mad if she brings her sweets. Are they just coworkers?#We play chess. I know what tea and sweets you like best. I brought them today since you would indulge me and play starchess with me#Thanks for playing with me‚ I'm running out of book puzzles. You keep divining my moves but I'll invent a fake story to distract you#Are we coworkers or something more like friends? Where is the line after so many years?#I talk too much but I love this charged nothingness haha I find it ironically so true to how many relationships in real life develop#And I find it so moving‚ that representation of this endearing smallness of everyday life. Of these small things is life made
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I need like. A bible level miracle of an opportunity even suggest itself to me so i can possibly start a career in something lol
#its unfortunate but its true thay i am in fact running out of time i could be using to accomplish something meaningful and set myself up#for a promising future. like ill be having a late start regardless. but i know that this is something i have to do sooner or later#i cant stay in retail. i cant serve people who willingly politicize a genocide as it happens in real time#i know there are plenty of zionists here just based on the comic store job alone lol i know theyre here too#despite there also being plenty of palestinians that i have Already witnessed just outside my current work now get ostracized#its gut wrenching. i cant stay here#but i am abbbbsoLUTELY clueless in what i should be working towards#ill be honest...i dont like my new job and i Dont trust my boss. i dont like her. she is rude and unnecessarily so.#if i so much as wore a palestinian bracelet i know im going to relive some twilight zone stern talking to shit Again#what ever happened to community or humanity anyways im getting off topic lol#i just needed to write all these rebounding thoughts down theres a lot going on#i gotta go on a quest and figureee it out. you know#figure it OUT 💪💪💪
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waltuh they think my facetious post about a tes lore video is genuine waltuh
#im sorry but you can't show me someone going 'here's the REAL lore mystery REVEALED' about fucking skyrim of all games#and like expect me to take it seriously without going like 'maybe you're reaching a little bit'#like bethesda does NOT care. im sorry but its true#also the timestamps segment was just kind of funny.#also i dont really trust any tes youtuber one of them full neo nazi hope this helps
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😵💫😵💫😵💫
These sobs really limited my tags?????
I have so many more thoughts this is so so much less than 1/2. Broski. Big dislike
#its ‘i watched a tv show and i need to talk about it in the tags of this site im not on anymore’ time#ty to the void for always accepting my thoughts <3#so honestly its just me thinking about the andromeda tv show. i just finished it and it left me destitute bc i clung onto the first 2 season#s as a basis and had ten thousand questions i *assumed* would be resolved. spoiler alert: they were nto#not*. and the coda addition helps but like. not enough. it explains some of the#oh fyi if anyone is reading or cared there will be spoilers#anyways it explained some of them ex for the cosmic engine bit. seemed pretty relevant and then was never mentioned again#i also MUCH prefer that version of trance — i had speculation she was a sun avatar which i took as confirmation when i finally noticed her#tattoo when harper used it to remind himself he put that data in the sun etc etc but i much prefer the sun-as-consciousness-astral-poject-#ing-slash-dreamjng-itself-a-body / being a little devil. i think that feels much more true to what we got in worldbuilding early on and tbh#the bar is on the floor bc any explanation would be better than what we got. also im sorry but s5 i trusted SO hard that that whole virgil#vox bit in the finale was insulting. couldnt even tie up the loose end you invented at the last minute????? MY god. i understand getting you#r budget halved but like. broski. it would have been better to ignore it at that point imo.#anywhoodle. i also have just ISSUES w the lack of resolution & not doing justice to literally any character#listen. why would you sink SO much effort into tyr just to have honestly what i feel is a disrespectful end to that character. like#tyr required me to do a LOT of thinking bc i sympathized with his position in exile etc while thinking also bro thats real fucked up. bro#stop thats fuckinng e*genics again dude. tbh with the entire species (im not looking up how to spell that rn) bc like the foundation of#their entire race is e*ugenics. (sorry censoring bc im in the tags just venting about tv) which obviously is a terrible idea but i think the#so it was like i am fundamentally against the concept but in show universe theg obviously did it etc but for me provided such a huge like#context to the universe. i fundamentally am not on board with all the commonwealth stuff like yeah i get it the magog are bad and scary but#like the neitzcheans (sp??? idc) are also Right There bein scary. then theres the ‘enhanced’ debate re dylan beka etc that like. is the same#but ‘’different’’ i guess. 🙄 anyways that is just to point out like. the level of thinking this show put me through just to blindside me w/#no resolution. i had SO much hope. tyr selling iut to the abyss is disrespectful to all of the established work the actor did for him and#to the character as well even if i think the ideology is icky. he was shown to be even less and less self-centric survival guy as it went on#and also tbh i didnt understand the him stealing his kids dna thing. i really thought that was gonna gi in a different less bs direction#okay also while im here can i just say. that tyr and dylan had THE most romantic tension to me. everyone else felt very friendshipy and i am#NOT one to usually fall into a ‘they obviously should be together’ pipeline that the writers dont make themselves. but the back and forth (#and intense eye contact) had me sitting there like. it was made in 2000 i know they wont do it but for not doing it they sure did! not that#i think they’d make a good couple (they would not) but that there was definitely something there on the dl you know? something more than#‘mutual respect’ you feel? and tbh! they also ruined the tyr beka thing by making her the matriarch. big ew huge ick.
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i actively dont like soulmate reincarnation tropes, like esp reincarnation i grew up watching in/uyasha, but "i fell in love with you when we were both prehistoric fish and i've been in love with you ever since then" AND THEY NEVER ENDED UP TOGETHER😭😭😭😭okay. okay i'm listening.......
#brandon plays hashi#brandon plays vns#please i put on lana and immediately thought abt them its too late#just sdjghsdgjsdh he starts out thinking mina doesnt ca#re abt him....thats he just pretended to like him........#his name wasnt even in the notebook😭😭😭#but he still tries to save him.....he tells him to stay away from the bridge he thinks hes being murdered#and he thinks he keeps getting murdered bc he just doesnt. trust him. God.......#but he finds out its not and he begs him to stay with him and mina STILL chooses to die in front of him#over and over and over.........BUT HE DOESNT GIVE UP ON HIM..........#he goes back 10 times for mina who went back for him 23 times.........im ksdjghskdghjskdghjsdkgsjdhgk. LOVE.#i know what love is. HE BECAME A WRITER BC HE FELL IN LOVE W MINA THE FIRST TIME HE READ HIS STORY.........JKSDHGKJSDHGKJHGDSGKJSDHGHELL#writer was so fucked up for putting this route first she said rip apart these soulmates once more and know exactly what u r doing#i support thruple kawase mina tama though. but still.#love.............#also i DID beat this game i did NOT know the 'twist' and i fell for it#im an apologist for the last ending it should not have been last but theres value in the Feeling and what it Says and i appreciate#this is the kind of bullshit the author loves. bc we All questioned whether it was real for a bit. bc she straight up misleads us..........#but u think abt it for longer than .5 seconds and ur like Oh. oh yeah it doesnt really make sense for it to erase everything else#like even if she wanted it to be the True Canon which i doubt its just not fleshed out enough to do anything#anyway minakami i am daydreaming of you🥰🥰🥰#i got ultra c.......i dunno if i should play it yet or replay mina....i kinda wanna replay mina last though..........#i meant to replay dm/md but like. i dont know. i dont know. if im strong enough. its not 2014. and honestly#its not like that game is a product of its time. it did not make more sense in 2014. HOWEVER. u know? its many years later now im much weak#t nd b was like......it just pulls u back in.........its silly and very itself but its relaxed. dm/md. i have do everything.#i have to see virus and trip again. do u understand. i have to see virus and trip again..........do u know who i was then?#who i am now? i will have to see virus and trip again........
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maxwell and sammy are all mine and i love them like my children but its pretty hard to divorce them from fnaf enough to make them straight up ocs. sammy especially bc hes technically not my oc, even if i made up every aspect about him except his name and dead twin sister
#my point being i keep seeing oc post and going ‘omg me about sammy’ but sammy isnt an oc. technically#i literally wont even change his name if i do ever just make him all mine. i love him sammy is my bff forevers.#sammy smiles real wide and has sharp canines. he cant stand silence and talks to himself CONSTANTLY and its worse around other people#he interrupts people a lot by accident. and is really bad about holding friendships and doesnt reach out to people. after he took max in it#was impossible to shut him up bc someone was actually there now. he has serious trust issues and thinks ppl dont like him bc he thinks#everyone to have some big secret theyre all collectively keeping from him to keep him ‘’safe’’ which stems from. his mom doing this to him#about his sister and dad she just straight up refused to tell him until he found out on his own. so for 11 years he knew that. they for sure#you cant just split up your family in half in a divorce. something seems incredibly wrong about that but he didnt know what actually#happened there. also they were young when she died but he still felt like a part of him went missing and without the knowledge she died he#assumed. hed see her again and fill that hole. and of course that wasnt true. so anyway he struggles to make and keep friends#hes had like 8 different partners who lasted more than a month (most of them didnt want to deal with max) and he cant keep any of them bc a#a lot of people meet this cute charming guy with a lot to say and realize hes literally like this all the time and it stops being cute and#starts being annoying. he wanted to have kids bc he really likes kids but nobody wants him unfortunately and also he had. max for 8 years#and max is for sure his kid (from his perspective max is weird about it bc max thinks of his dad. as his Parent and sammy as more of#brother) but like max was not really what he was thinking when he thought he wanted kids right. and he feels bad about thinking that but#he does. think that. he wants a kid of his own. sammy is a therapist for kids with trauma specifically so that also impacts his ability to#have a kid. he worries that. bc of his personal experience of what Can happen that he may in turn be a helicopter parent or way#overprotective. yknow. he#ive got to go to bed omg. i got enough thoughts down!!!!#simons spouting#a lot of this is just awfully written but you cant read back or edit tags on mobile. not my fault
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one unfortunate thing abt watching bloody violent up-close-and-personal movies is that it makes me even more crazy touchstarved than usual after.. I need to wrestle someone NOW
#i need to BITE. or lie in someones lap and let them stroke my hair#also now my family have left i probably wont even get a hug for a longass time......... its dire out here#ik my flatmate said a while ago she wouldnt mind if i wanted more physical contact or whatever but ik thats not true#bc she always seems so physically uncomfortable near me or moves so distinctly far out of my space like i get the message man#and its just difficult for me for so many complicated reasons. sigh#im just tired of feeling so lonely always all the time. and so ostracised or alienated in every community and relationship in my life#and i know thats my own fucking fault bc im stupidly incapable of allowing myself to trust and believe other people abt anything#and partly also bc im disabled and autistic as shit etcetc and so will always come across weird and Other and i have no control over that#but mostly its my fault. and i dont even know where to begin trying to fix that man. if its even fixable in this lifetime i dont even know#but it sucks ass im so tired of being sad and close to tears 90% of the time i cry on the fucking daily even on good days#dont get me wrong im doing pretty okay at the moment like i dont even really have any Real problems its all just in my fucking head#but unfortunately thats the head i live in. and will live in the rest of my life so i guess im always gonna feel like this on some level#so i need to just accept it and be grateful for the shit i have bc it could be so so much worse#and yet i cant just do that so here we are!!!!!!!!! oh well.#maybe a part of me likes being miserable. or feels like i deserve it. bc im really fucking good at it lmao#anyway i should go to bed soon before this gets worse. at least i dont have work tmr so i can do smth nice or chill all day#and there have been lots of nice things today too.. ah i just need to sleep#sorry for rambling my ass off with my mentally ill monologues again 🙃 well not that sorry bc youll see me do it again lol#.vent#.diaries
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fine. fine. fine. here it is. DON’T watch this
mp3 download / youtube go nuts my friends.
also if you like this but you also hate it why dont you umm check out my real music i have a new instrumental album coming out soon :D
[video description under cut, written by @starberry-skies]
[Video Description: A parody of the song "No Children" by The Mountain Goats, from the perspective of an Among Us imposter. The video begins with the title "No Amongus Babys" as synth music begins to play. The video show various Among Us screenshots and lyrics with typos and emoticons. The lyrics are:
"I hope that our small surviving crew Gives up on trying to catch us. I hope we come up with a failsafe plot to throw off all the proof they attached us. I hope the wires we mended Start an electrical fire! And I hope we disable the light fixture, I hope the impact is dire. And I hope the reactor a few rooms from here Someday blows up; And I hope that the broken airlock funnels me into space, And I never come back to this ship again!
In my life I hope I lie, And tell everyone you were a crewmate. And I hope you’re sus… I hope we’re both sus."
[Music break, and as the words “lalalallalalallla yayyy” sparkle on screen]
"I hope I murder a witness tomorrow, I hope they bleed all day long. Our crew says there's no one to trust but ourselves, We know too well they’re not wrong! I hope we sabotage quickly, I hope the tasks aren’t over, I hope you vent before I do, I hope we never get voted. And I hope when you vouch for me days down the line… You can’t find one true thing to say. And I hope that if I kill and I self-report, You’d let me just dig my own grave.
I’m in medbay… I am faking a task. You are coming down with me, Scan in unloveable scan. And I hope you’re sus I hope we’re both sus!"
The lyrics end, with the glittery text "i love among us". The rest of the text flashes in with cheesy effects, which read: "i'm noctude this one goes out to kal cabbagegunk he gets prophecies when feverish about among us its normal". End VD]
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