#Dude just spent like 14 years speaking to a wall by himself. Or maybe not who knows the walls could betray him too | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moongothic · 6 months

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We all know how a lot of Luffy's opponents have been in some ways premonitions of the type of person Luffy could end up as if something went wrong in his life. For example Moria is what Luffy could've become had he truly lost his entire crew at Sabaody if Kuma had not saved them

And we know Crocodile is what Luffy maybe could've become had Luffy given up on his dreams and become jaded after losing to him. But like, when you think about it, that's not the only dark reflection of Luffy in Crocodile, is it

'Cause Crocodile, despite employing people for Baroque Works, did not trust anyone around him and did not considder anyone to be anything else but an employee to him. And we know he had been planning on taking over Alabasta for like 14 years (at the very least), BW being a thing for only the past four (pre-timeskip)

So like. Did Crocodile spend the last 14 years alone

Like yes he had his workers at the Casino and Robin etc, so he was like, around people, he wasn't like Brook who was in Total Isolation. But on an emotional level, has he not spent the last 14 years all by himself, completely detached from anyone, unable to trust or rely on anyone else?

That is sad as fucking shit, holy hell

'Cause then you compare him to like Luffy and like

Our sweet baby boy was so afraid of being alone that Luffy literally went through hell just to gain Ace's approval despite Ace trying to signal to him he wasn't interested befriending him

And through out the whole series Luffy reiterates time and time again how he needs and wants his friends around because he literally can't live without them, both on a literal "he can't cook or navigate or have fun by himself" level but also on that emotional level

And Crocodile just. Spent 14 years of his life, if not longer, alone.

Sweet jesus what happened to this man

And that just makes me further wonder, what the absolute fuck were Crocodile's Rookie Pirate days like?? Like did he have a crew or was he just yolo'ing it by himself???

Like. Mihawk's never been on a crew as far as we know. Kuma was a Revolutionary, not a pirate, but he wasn't like alone still. Doflaming, Hancock, Jinbei and Moria however have/had crews of their own. So what was Crocodile's deal? Did he have a crew before? Was he a captain or was he on someone else's ship? (Although surely the Government wouldn't offer the position of a Shichibukai to a cabin boy or the first mate, right)

And if he did have a crew, the hell happened to them??

Like we know Crocodile got his ass kicked by Whitebeard, I just find it unlikely Whitebeard would've pulled a Kaidou on Crocodile's crew and slaughtered them, that's not a very Whitebeard-y thing do, right?? ...Unless Whitebeard was just different 20+ years ago and was willing to annihilate entire crews. We don't know. Or maybe Crocodile and his entire crew were like Turbo Rotten from the beginning and Whitebeard figured they deserved to get wiped out, much like how we saw Shanks wipe out Kid's crew at Elbaf. Or maybe Whitebeard saw no reason to have mercy on someone affiliated with the World Government.

That all said, if we wanted to assume Crocodile had somekind of trauma that lead to him viewing people not only as disposable but also untrustworthy, then maybe losing people dear to him like that wouldn't lead to that mindset. Like Moria witnessed his beloved crew die and that caused him to want to create a crew he couldn't die, so he wouldn't go through that emotional trauma again.

Which leaves me to wonder. If something caused him to lose his ability to (emotionally) trust people, and if Whitebeard broke his dreams... Maybe Crocodile had a crew. And maybe they abandoned him when he lost to Whitebeard. Figuring they didn't need a weak captain who was probably going to bleed to death anyways. Or maybe the crew tried to take his head (after Whitebeard kicked his ass), after all, he was already a Shichibukai, anybody who took Crocodile's head could maybe attempt to take that title for themselves if the Government allowed it, and if not, at least gain more fame for themselves.

Either of these scenarios would certainly result in you losing your ability to rely on others. And leave you willing to spend the rest of your life alone. Who would have in them to go through that again.

Or maybe he came out of the womb unable to trust people and he was just yolo'ing it by himself like Mihawk right from the begining, who knows

Regardless I'm just

#Moon posting #Sir Crocodile #OP Meta #Me @ Crocodile: Who hurt you #No fucking wonder Crocodile was absolutely deranged in Alabasta #Dude just spent like 14 years speaking to a wall by himself. Or maybe not who knows the walls could betray him too #This man has so much unresolved trauma #BTW if true this would also make Crocodile a dark reflection of Robin. Which is a different layer of sad on its own #Like. Both expecting the other to be the one to betray them. And in the end it's Robin who shot first.#Break week in the middle of Kuma Backstory. I am in pain.#When will our husband return from the war #I need to know what his deal is so bad. I must study him under a microscope #My derangement will not know end until then #There could've been a counterargument that Crocodile couldn't trust anyone lest his Utopia Plans got ruined #And to be fair if the Government had found out his plans would've been screwed. Shichibukai Rights REVOKED #But he still seems to carry those trust issues since Mihawk is on relatively thin ice it seems #So me thinks. This smells like trauma.#The real conclusion to this post is that the Crocodile x Daz shippers are RIGHT

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valenhell · 3 years

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From the studio that brought you “I can’t find good Byler fics in the ao3 tag”, comes:

"The Definitive Byler fic rec list"

Literally no one asked for this but because I spent the majority of last year (...and 2019, and 2018...) reading byler fics and coping with life, I thought I’d make a list of some of my absolute favorites.

The other day I was basically starving for some byler fics and the angel @magicalfairy provided me with some of her faves so I thought I’d do the same, because I love reading, and I love all of these fics and I appreciate their writers💗 And fic writers in general, come on!

- This is a mix of long works and one-shots/short stories. - Everything is mostly fluff with a tad of angst and a lot of internalized homophobia conflict. - Every fic is completed, except for the ones I mention that they are not. - I try my best to lay out the stories in a way that I won’t spoil you the plot but also warning you of some stuff you might don’t like. Either way, all of these fics are correctly tagged by their respective authors/owners, so read at your own risk. For better understanding, in between brackets I denote Rating, Words and quantity of Chapters. - I feel like I should clarify, none of these are narrated in the singular first person. None of that “And I told him...”, no.

Long fics

a dream always the same (T, 99k, 35 chapters) What happened in those few weeks between the Battle of Starcourt and the Byers leaving Hawkins. Literally a satisfying and very needed fill in of season three, with a good dose of Mike’s thoughts and conflict. Mike’s characterization is specially amazing in this one. The writing style is amazing and I know the author put everything into making it historically accurate, and it was really sweet. You probably read it, it’s by the amazing sevensided here on Tumblr🧡

Spring Break (T, 120k, 14/15 chapters) The slowburn of my dreams. Lots of internalized conflict and conflict with each other. Conflict within the Party (uhh kind of), conflict with Mike and Will. Byers family has moved and the kids are visiting! Chaos. Characterization is on point. Yeah, I know it’s unfinished, but the fourteenth chapter actually serves as a pretty nice ending.

This is where it starts (M, 148.8k, 24 chapters) Aged up characters. The Party is in college and Will disappears again, but now it’s different. Mike knows he didn’t vanish from thin air, and the discovery he and the Party end up making is pretty insane. Mystery solving/fantasy/third dimension, throw in a bit of D&D and Mike realizing some shit, and you get this marvelous fic. It’s a breath of fresh air. The world building is definitely one of the elements that stands out the most, because it’s very nicely described, it sounds like a dream and it’s completely immersive. Absolute gem of a fic.

there’s a Starman waiting in the sky (M, 30.6k, 8 chapters) Do I need to say anything? Will is out there living his best life and Mike realizes that wow, umm, maybe his best friend looks a bit too nice with that costume... and wait, is he getting horny? It’s actually really fun and sexy.

The Evening Speaks (T, 23k, 7 chapters) In where Mike is a late-night college radio host and Will is the art student that stays up till late to catch up with Wheeler on the Mic. They flirt through songs y’all, this one is really sweet.

heads or tails? (E, 24k, 3 chapters) Aged up characters. I know most people don’t enjoy sex in fics and with specific characters but this one is insanely well written. It’s a slowburn that commits to the tension and with every word you are grasping and anticipating their next move. I think you can find the author here on Tumblr as yousaidyes🧡

The Man of Average (M, 56.7k, 5/? chapters) Aged up characters. No but you don’t understand, the writing here is absolute gourmet. The story is exciting as well, it’s super interesting. Weirdly enough, for being very aged up characters, they are well characterized but they don’t feel like teenagers. They are naturally Mike and Will. The author really captured Mike and Will’s essence. I know, it’s unfinished and it’s updated very rarely, but this is the typical fic you can’t believe someone just posted on the internet for free. I will say though, I think it’s definitely not for everyone. Read at your own risk.

Heartstrings (E, 82.8k, 24/? chapters) Aged up characters. By the same author of The Man of Average. A collection of memories, the road to Mike and Will’s happy ever after. And fucking hell!!!!! You’ll cry and get angry, you’ll cheer for them, then you’ll want to crash their faces together because god dammit you love each other!!! But yeah, same thing here. The writing and the way the story is laid out as a nonlinear narrative is brilliant. And I also think this is one of the best Will versions I’ve read. The author might as well be the og creator of this two characters tbh. You can find the author here as mylesimeblr🧡

Sinners behind the walls (T, 1.5k, 1/1) And because I can’t stop recommending this author, a little thing of Mike tormenting himself but also being too deeply committed to Will.

The Red Envelope series (T/E, 167K, two completed works) Something happens that Will thought was impossible and from there, pure drama and romance. Anything by this author has the potential to become your absolute favorite fic, but this series in particular is amazing. I doubt that any of you haven’t read this, but it doesn’t hurt to put it in this list. I’m pretty sure the author is serendipitous-magic on Tumblr🧡

A New Fight series (T, 91k, two completed works, one WIP) And finally the Star Wars AU that we all needed. But this isn’t your typical “Mike is Han”, “Will is Leia” and “El is Luke”, it’s way more interesting than that, and the author has appropriated the Star Wars world like no other. I’ll admit I’m not a 100% fluent in SW lore but this is amazing to me either way. This author is also on Tumblr, tea-for-one-please🧡

- Yes, most of these are (if not all), in a way, canon compliant/canonverse/canon continuation into fanon. (In a way)

One-shots and short stories

Sundae for Two, Please (G, 4.8k) Steve being the supportive friend and older brother these kids collectively need. (not Jonathan erasure, we love him). Steve is very sweet himself, and this little cute thing through his POV is gorgeous. Yes, it’s byler.

Backstage (T, 10k, 2/2) Jonathan, you forgot to mention to Will how hot your new band’s guitarist is, dude. Now he’s hyperventilating and weirdly flirting with him in the corner. Background Stonathan because why not.

102 Peach Street (G, 3.8k) Established relationship, but not only that, they are married :’’))) PURE fluff. Extreme fluffiness. Diabetes.

sweatshirts and bottled up feelings (T, 3.2k) Or, Mike thinks that the sweatshirt Will wears looks insanely good on him. And kitchens are for lovers.

kiss it better (T, 16.3k) Basically one of the best character studies of a few precise moments of Mike and Will’s relationship and feelings.

will wonders ever cease (T, 11.3k) #i ship will and happiness. Omfg what a beautiful piece of fanfic. Will centric, this kid really deserves all the good in the world.

The Calm After the Storm (T, 1.6k) Tooth rotting fluff, boyfriends in love. Boyfriends being lazy, cuddling, love words, kisses. Boys loving each other’s company... Basically, Mike and Will in their element. What more can you ask for?

neither of us ready to let go (T, 4.8k) That scene from season three, but a bit of a fix it.

Still in love (G, 1k) Domestic, married life au fluff. Y’all, I’m a sucker for established Byler, even if I can’t find many fics with it. But this is very sweet. It takes place in 2020, but I don’t think there are any mentions of the COVID-19 crisis that I remember.

I Nver Find Out ‘Til I’m Head Over Heels (G, 12.5K) Classic 5+1 fic. If you haven’t read it, where have you been? This is your moment. In where Mike keeps inviting Will to the school dances and Will thinks it’s just a joke until he realizes it’s not.

Before You’re Gone (T, 5.9k) Will is leaving Hawkins and Mike thinks this is a great moment for a confession. This one I discovered last friday, thank you friend @magicalfairy 💗

You’re weird Wheeler (M, 4.5k) Mike unintentionally starts a tradition of going to each other to talk about their sexual encounters just after they finish. Will keeps getting more explicit with the details he shares, and he makes his best friend interested. This one is really fun y’all.

Out-Of-Town Friends (N/R, 4.6K) It’s not rated. I haven’t re- read it but I’d say it would probably fall in a T rating. So cute!! Will has new friends and sneaks off every friday and the Party doesn’t know where he is going, so Mike decides to follow him and is surprised.

Snowed Under (G, 1.3k) By the same author of The New Fight series. Mike is spending christmas by himself in college because a snowstorm hits Chicago and Nancy can’t drive to see him, but then he has a surprise visitor. Ahhh just a lil sweet holiday fic. Super cute.

you love me anyway series (T, 7.1k, three completed works) Literally just the cutest thing ever. Established Byler. Will loves to take pictures and he loves taking pictures of Mike. It’s adorable.

you wanna be friends forever (i can think of something better) (T, 9k) This one is so amazing. So. Amazing. From Will’s POV, my kid deserves the world and he gets it.

okay not to be okay (T, 4.9k) Mike is a bit sad but then everything is okay.

can’t hold out forever (G, 18.4k) Y’all!!!!! 5+1 sweetness. Mike has been falling in love since kindergarten. And it’s long af, you’ll enjoy it.

even if it takes forever (G, 1.3k) College short AU, they miss each other, they love each other, they promise all to each other. It is sappy y’all.

clear as day (N/R, 18.4K, 4 chapters) It’s not rated, but I’d say it falls in the T category. Strangers to friends to lovers. And also, everyone is pretty gay; we have our dynamic trio Mike, Max and El as disaster lesbians (and gay). Will works at the library and he is also gay. Lucas and Dustin and Will are the best friends we needed. It’s very sweet and the Party is kind of formed here!

I went overboard with the one-shots, so you must have realized how much I love long one-shots and I favor them over long works lmao but they are all amazing!!! If it’s on this list, I probably read it at 2 am, sobbing in my bed. So. Hope you enjoy it☺️🧡

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floralelu · 4 years

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Le Fleuriste Episode III:

WARNING: MENTIONS/USE OF ALCOHOL AND SMOKING

Word Count: 4,402

Summary: Lucas is confronted with the man of his dreams, as of one day of course. How will it go? Will Lucas fall deeper into love, or convince himself that Eliott isn’t the boy for him.

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Lucas spent the first few minutes after Eliott had sent the message standing on the sidewalk and staring at his screen. He exited the app and reopened it to make sure the message wasn’t a figment of his imagination and his mind wasn’t playing, what would be, a very mean trick on him. It wasn’t until his brain kicked into gear that he started to freak out.

“Oh my god, he really just-” Lucas didn’t know what to do. Here was the boy that he liked if he could even call it that seeing as it had only been one day since they met, saying that Lucas was beautiful and now all of a sudden Lucas didn’t know how to act. Maybe Yann would know? Lucas opened his messages and tapped on the conversation with Yann.

13:23 pm Lucas: YANN

13:25 pm Lucas: YANN JSNDJE

13:26 pm Lucas: LOIK AT RHIS

13:26 pm Lucas: [1 image attatchment]

13:27 pm Lucas: WHAT DO I DO?

13:31 pm Lucas: STOP FLIRTING WITH EMMA AND HELP ME

13:37 pm Lucas: you suck, i’m coming to the store

The walk back to King’s Grove felt like it took forever. Now that it was later in the day more people were outside. Some were running errands, some were just out walking, but all of them were in Lucas’ way. He lost count of how many shoulders he bumped into. It wasn’t until Lucas was pulling open the door to Frizzies that he let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Emma looked up from her place at the register as the bell above the door rang.

She smiled at him, “Lucas! You’re back.”

“Hi Em, do you know where Yann is?”

“We were just talking a minute ago,” Lucas mentally rolled his eyes, “he might be in the back? You’re welcome to go look.”

Lucas thanked Emma and headed towards the back room. He found Yann sitting at a table, eating a sandwich from the cafe. Lucas walked up behind him and lightly slapped his shoulder.

Yann whipped his head around, “Ow! What the hell?”

Lucas glared at him, “That’s for not answering my messages. I’m in the middle of a crisis, Yann!” Lucas sat down into a chair across from his friend. Yann rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“What are you talking about?”

Lucas opened up his phone to his messages with Eliott and slid it across the table, “This!”

Yann read the messages and looked back up at Lucas after a minute. The two stared at each other, but Lucas was the first to speak.

“What?”

Yann sighed, “Lucas… you know he can see that you read this right? And it’s been what? Almost two hours since he sent it?”

Lucas twisted his head around to find the clock attached to the wall, his eyes growing wide while reading 14:35, “Oh shit, oh my god. He probably thinks he creeped me out or something. I just didn’t know how to respond. Yann, I have to fix this.”

“Woah, breathe Luc. It’s gonna be okay. Just message him back and say thank you.” Yann reached over the table and laid a comforting hand onto Lucas’s shoulder.

“I know it seems like I’m overreacting, and maybe I am, but no one like Eliott has ever made me feel like this, Yann. It’s been less than 24 hours since I met the guy but I can’t get him out of my head. There’s something here that I don’t want to lose, I just don’t know what that thing is yet.”

Yann looked across the table at Lucas, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. Lucas may not know what it is, but Yann sure had a guess. Lucas had never talked about someone like this. After Lucas came out, the gang had promised to always have Lucas’s back, and they’d be his wingmen when needed. While most of the time, the boys failed to find someone up to his “standards” (though Yann would disagree with that statement, simply calling Lucas picky), Lucas was glad to have friends like them. Seeing Lucas so upset at the current situation, Yann knew that he truly didn’t want this to ruin his chances with Eliott.

“Well, we know he finds you attractive, so that’s a good sign, right?” Yann asked.

“I mean, yeah I guess,” Lucas shrugged, “but that won’t mean anything if he decides he doesn’t want to talk to me because I left him on seen.” Lucas put his head in his hands, “I’m usually able to talk to guys, why is this so hard?”

Yann chuckled, “Luc, I think you actually like this guy, that’s the difference.”

“That’s the thing though, I don’t even know anything about him. I know his name, his Instagram and where he works, but that’s it.”

“So? Find something to talk about, learn more about him. What do you think dates are for?” Yann raised an eyebrow, “I bet if you asked him to go out right now he’d say yes.”

Lucas raised his head, “Haha, very funny. Not happening. I don’t need to embarrass myself anymore just because you think he’d say yes.”

Yann raised his hands in mock surrender, “Hey, I’m just saying. When have I ever been wrong?”

“Well,” Lucas tilted his head to the side, “how about the time we went to that party and I said maybe we shouldn’t get completely wasted because we had a test the next day and you said, “Luc, we’ll be fine!” but we ended up missing that test because we were nursing our hangovers? Or there was the time you told Baz that the girl at the pretzel stand was hitting on him, so he went up there only to get a smoothie thrown in his face? And let’s not forget the time when the only milk left in the fridge was expired but you said it would be okay to drink and all four of us-”

“Okay!” Yann cut Lucas off, “There have been times where I was wrong, I get it. But I know I’m right about this.”

Lucas hummed in response, looking back at the open messages on his phone when Yann spoke up again, “What if you went to see him?”

Lucas’s head shot up at the suggestion, “You mean like right now?”

“Well, yeah. His store is just across the street, it’s not like you have to go far.” Yann was looking at Lucas, waiting for his reply.

“I don’t know, Yann.” Lucas sighed, “Wouldn’t be weird for me to show up to his store after not replying to his message. By accident.”

“Right. Well, as I said earlier, maybe just respond with a thank you and see where it goes? At least let him know you didn’t mind the compliment. With leaving him on seen he might think you aren’t interested.”

“I hate this. I’m gonna head over the cafe to get some lunch. Thanks, Yann.”

Yann smiled at him, “No problem, dude. We’ll figure this out.”

Lucas made his way out of the backroom and towards the front of the store. Emma was still at the register. Lucas said goodbye as he left the music store and headed across the street to the cafe. Lucas pulled the door open and stepped inside. All at once, he was hit with the smell of fresh-baked bread and lemon. He glanced around the cafe, spotting Manon behind the counter ringing a customer up and Alexia plating some pastries behind the glass display case. Lucas was here to eat lunch, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to update the girls on the Eliott situation. He made his way over to the line behind the register and looked up at the menu. He settled on a sandwich and, of course, one of their danishes.

“Hey!” Manon was looking at him with a smile on her face, “you’re back again! What can I get you?”

Lucas told her his order and Manon rang him out. It wasn’t until she was handing him his change that he added, “When you and Alex get a second, could I talk to you guys?”

Manon looked at him questioningly, “Is everything alright?”

“Yes! I think. I just have to tell you guys about the Eliott thing.”

A smile broke out on Manon’s face, “Oh! The Eliott thing, is that what we’re calling this? Once Alexia and I can catch a break we’ll come to find you.”

“Thanks, Manon.”

She nodded her head and Lucas went to go sit down. He picked a booth in the back corner, away from the late lunchtime rush. Lucas peered out the window and watched the people outside. There was an older man laughing at something the woman next to him said. There was also a little boy holding on to his mother’s hand as they walked down the cobblestone street. They reminded Lucas of himself and his mother when he was younger and everything was a little less complicated. Lucas didn’t hear the incoming footsteps, but the voice startled him out of his daze.

“Hi there.” It was Eliott.

“Uh, h-hi.” Lucas gulped, was Eliott angry with him? For not replying to his message?

“Is everything alright?” Eliott asked. “You look like you might faint.”

Oh god, Lucas would never be able to face Eliott again if he fainted. He needed to chill the fuck out. He could be suave right? He had been with the ladies once upon a time.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, dude. Nothing to worry about here,” Lucas chuckled. “Just haven’t eaten in a while, you know?”

Eliott slid into the booth across from him. His knees brushed Lucas’ and Lucas couldn’t help but blush at the slightest bit of contact.

“Yeah, I haven’t eaten since breakfast this morning, business is always busy at Barney’s, especially during this time of year.” Eliott smiled at him.

God, that smile. All Lucas wanted was to be able to make Eliott smile, and kiss the apples of his cheeks when he did.

“I’ll be right back, I’ve been craving one of their danishes lately,” Eliott stood up and then turned back at Lucas. “By the way, you’re cute when you blush.”

Once Eliott had reached the counter and began ordering, Lucas finally felt his lungs give out from the breath he had been holding. This boy was so flirtatious, and Lucas had no experience in flirting, at least with men anyway.

Eliott returned to his seat across from Lucas, only to be greeted with Alexia carrying plates of food in her arms.

“Ham and cheese sandwich accompanied by a sweet cheese danish for Lucas,” Alexia retrieved Lucas’ plate and set it across from him. “And a cherry jam danish for the dashing gentleman.” Alexia smiled at Eliott and offered her hand. “I’m Alexia, you must be Eliott, the boy Lucas won’t stop talking about.”

Eliott glanced at Alexia’s hand before shaking it. “So he’s been talking about me?” Eliott grinned at Alexia before he cocked an eyebrow at Lucas, which only made Lucas blush harder.

“He sprinted in here this morning bright and early just for us to tell him all about you. However, he only ran into a dead end since we didn’t know much about you. The love in his eyes would make any woman melt or man in this case.”

Lucas slapped Alexia’s arm.

“Ow! What was that for?”

Lucas widened his eyes and nodded towards Eliott.

“Right! I’ll leave you guys alone. Have fun you two!” Alexia smiled and waved back at them as she was heading towards the counter to return to her duties.

“So, you’ve been talking about me?”

“Yeah,” Lucas felt cornered. Was he really going to confess his one-day-old crush to Eliott already? No, no way. “She’s just joking, you know how best friends are.” Lucas poked and prodded at his danish, embarrassed.

“Yeah, Idriss wouldn’t stop talking about how clumsy I was to Mrs. Lawerence one day when I broke two vases. The first time wasn’t even my fault! Ginger was the one who knocked the vase over!” Eliott shook his head and took a bite of his danish.

“Okay, wait, who’s Mrs. Lawerence and Ginger?” Lucas asked.

“Mrs. Lawerence was a good friend of my grandfather’s and Ginger is the cat that always hangs out in the garden behind the shop and sometimes hangs out inside during the summers, she gets herself into trouble.”

“I see,” Lucas chuckled, both at the story and the fact that he was starting to relax. “Hey, I’m sorry for not replying to your message earlier.”

“Oh! It’s okay, I figured you got busy or something,” Eliott took another bite of his sandwich. “I hope I didn’t freak you out or anything by what I said. I have a tendency-”

Lucas cut him off.

“You didn’t freak me out.”

“Good,” Eliott sighed in relief. “Would you like to hang out after this? If you’re not busy of course, we could go to the garden behind the shop. Maybe you can meet Ginger?”

Was Eliott asking him out on...a date? No, he couldn’t be. They’re just going to “hang out”, as friends do, not as boyfriends do.

“Yeah, sure,” Lucas took a bite of his sandwich. “I’d love to.”

———————————————————————

It was dusk now, the birds were singing peaceful lullabies and most of the shops were closing for the day, including Barney’s. Lucas followed Eliott into the alleyway.

“This looks like a great place for me to get murdered, great choice, Eliott,” Lucas chuckled at his own joke unless...was Eliott a serial killer?

“And then, Lucas was never to be seen again,” Eliott said and then laughed wickedly. “Seriously, I’m not a serial killer though.” Eliott finally unlocked the wooden gate leading to the oasis among the shops. “Welcome to my evil lair!” Eliott laughed maniacally again.

“You’re starting to creep me out,” Lucas chuckled and followed Eliott through the gate.

Lucas gaped at the garden before him. A gravel path trailed down the center of the garden. It was divided by another, less intimidating wooden fence than before, guarded by another gate. Behind the gate was a greenhouse that held fruit trees of many kinds as well as tropical flowers. A variety of trees and shrubbery surrounded the greenhouse. To the right of the greenhouse were wooden boxes, displaying newly sprouted plants from the soil, each marked by a popsicle stick that labeled the names of each row of sprouts. On the other side of the divided garden was what looked like to be a place for hosting and maybe being a place to get away from the busy shop life. Lucas knew he could spend hours here, especially with Eliott.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” Eliott asked, looking down and meeting Lucas’ eyes. “I used to come out here all the time when I was a kid, to paint and to read, I still do.”

Lucas jumped at the sudden contract at his feet with an orange cat, brushing between his ankles and it’s tail wrapping around his leg.

“This is Ginger, I’m assuming?”

“The very one,” Eliott squatted down to pet her and Lucas matched his stance. “She likes to be petted on her neck.”

“Here?” Lucas asked and touched Ginger’s neck to which she hissed and pawed at Lucas, catching him off guard. Lucas leaned back, missing Ginger’s claws.

“No,” Eliott laughed and reached for Lucas’ hand. He placed it on the side of Ginger’s neck. “See? Feel her purring?”

Lucas could feel it, but it wasn’t the only thing purring. Lucas’ heart raced and butterflies fluttered in his stomach. Eliott didn’t remove his hand. It was warm and comforting. He kept it there and felt Ginger’s purring with him. Lucas prayed it was too dark to tell that Lucas was blushing even though Eliott already called it cute.

Lucas felt the need to change the subject in order to keep his cool.

“So, you paint?” Lucas asked, glancing between Eliott and the cat.

“Yeah! I actually used to host art shows in this garden, but I mostly paint for myself now,” Ginger became fed up with Lucas’ atrocious petting technique and moved into Eliott’s lap, Eliott petted her tenderly. “It’s funny,” Eliott giggled. “I have this obsession with sunflowers.”

Lucas remembered the sunflower being held up in front of Eliott’s face on his Instagram profile.

“I assume that’s your favorite flower then?” Lucas asked, picking at the grass beneath him.

“It’s only the best choice as far as favorite flowers go,” Eliott explained, rolling the sleeves up of his grey sweater, revealing a tattoo of a flower with an eye in the middle along with another tattoo in a cursive script that Lucas couldn’t read in the dim light. “I mean, who wouldn’t choose that as their favorite flower? It’s bright and beautiful, it reminds me of summer no matter what time of year I look at it.”

Lucas smiled at the easy conversation. That’s how everything has felt so far with Eliott. Easy. He couldn’t even think as to why he was so nervous this morning, all he had to do was talk to him.

“Lucas, you look like you’re thinking hard about something,” Eliott stared at him and tilted his head like a confused puppy. “What is it?”

“I’m thinking…” Lucas trailed off. He couldn’t reveal how much this conversation meant to him. He couldn’t tell Eliott that his eyes had a certain sparkle no star could ever match when he talked about something that he was passionate about. Shit, for all Lucas knows, Eliott is straight. “about how much I want to see these paintings of yours.”

“Well, what are you waiting for? Let’s go!” Eliott jumped up and offered his hand to Lucas.

“Wait, now? Where are we going?”

“To my apartment!” Eliott exclaimed. Lucas saw Eliott’s frown in reaction to Lucas’ panicked look. “Lucas, you don’t have to go,” Eliott started giggling. “I promise I’m not a murderer.”

Lucas couldn’t let this get to him. This boy is straight, Lucas told himself. Nothing to worry about.

It wasn’t that Lucas was afraid of Eliott being a serial killer or anything of the sort, he was afraid that he would have his first kiss tonight, or his first time. A series of new experiences could happen tonight, one after another, but was Lucas ready for it?

“Says you! I bet your last victim is buried beneath me right now!” Lucas joked. Eliott’s expression remained unchanged. “I’m kidding.” Lucas took Eliott’s hand and stood up. He blushed at contact that sent shivers through his spine and butterflies soaring in his stomach.

“So, you’ll come with me?” Eliott smiled, still holding Lucas’ hand. Lucas nodded and felt Eliott’s thumb stroke his knuckles.

———————————————————————

At the end of King’s Grove were some apartment complexes, mostly for the shop keepers, but some hipsters and retired folks lived among them too. The buildings matched the rest of Annecy with a bright color palette. The apartment complex was only a short walk from the flower shop.

The two trailed up the stairs and were greeted by a white door with a wreath made up of delicate flowers including some Baby’s Breath from what Lucas could recognize.

“Cute wreath.” Lucas chuckled.

“I know, I know, it was a housewarming gift from Mrs. Lawrence,” Eliott unlocked the door. “Anyways, welcome to casa de Eliott.”

Lucas was greeted with a massive amount of greenery scattered about the apartment. There were flowers tucked in various vases and bottles, and pots of ferns and vines rested upon shelves. All of the plants were kept neatly trimmed and didn’t appear to be unruly. Along the walls were paintings of sunflowers in many styles, some realistic and others more cartoonish. The kitchen and the living room were joined together and felt spacious despite how small the apartment actually was. Lucas walked around in the living room as Eliott was looking for something to drink in the fridge. Lucas could spot what seemed to be a garden on the balcony.

“Don’t trip on Francine!” Eliott warned Lucas. Lucas looked down at the small pot of succulents at his feet. “She’s very fragile,” Eliott walked over, handing Lucas one of the beers he found in the fridge and moved “Francine” to the coffee table behind Lucas. “My apologies for all the plants, whatever we don’t have room for in the shop, I take home.”

“But you name your plants?” Lucas asked, twisting off the metal lid off the bottle.

“Of course! What do you think I am? Crazy?” Eliott grabbed his beer and twisted off the cap as well. “Cheers.” The two clinked bottles and took a drink.

“Well, I don’t own any plants to name, plus I’d kill them anyway,” Lucas approached the wall, studying one of the sunflower paintings. It was just a sunflower on a white canvas, but it was painted thick globs of paint that appeared still wet as if Lucas could mess it up with a single touch. “I like this one,” Lucas said as Eliott stood beside him.

“Me too,” Eliott smiled, admiring the painting before them, taking another drink from the bottle in his hand. “I feel like a sunflower is somehow the representation of me.”

“What do you mean?” Lucas asked, giving Eliott a puzzled look.

“Sometimes, I appear happy and people don’t see the darkness that goes on within me, you know?” Eliott’s bright smile left his face.

“Wow, that was pretty deep,” Lucas chuckled at his comment, trying to lighten the mood. “What flower do you think represents me?”

Eliott turned to face Lucas now, they were so close to each other. Lucas could feel Eliott’s breath on his face.

“I don’t know, I’ll have to think about it.”

It felt like Eliott was staring into his soul. Lucas could kiss him, right here, right now. He could push every fear aside and just kiss him. He could make their forever start today, he could-.

“Do you smoke?” Eliott asked, pulling a joint from his pocket.

“Oh, I used to,” Lucas stared at the joint. Getting drunk and high with Eliott? What could go wrong! “I still do sometimes, with my friends.”

Eliott nodded and lit the join between his lips, once he lit it he took a long drag and removed it from his lips. Lucas stared at the puff of smoke that escaped from Eliott’s lips. Fuck, he’s so hot.

Eliott offered Lucas the joint and he took it, taking a long drag from it and exhaling. He was starting to relax more and more as the alcohol and weed took effect. He felt himself beginning to unwind.

“God, I can’t believe someone like you names their plants,” Lucas said as he leaned back on the couch. “You’re, like, ridiculously handsome too, I bet women find it sweet as hell that a hot guy like you names his plants.” Lucas laughed and shook his head. Fuck, what was he even saying right now?

“They do,” Eliott laughed along with him. “My ex-girlfriend found it hilarious.”

So that was it, Eliott was straight. Lucas was just starting to think that he got lucky, being in the apartment and sitting across from the most beautiful man he had ever seen. That was it, the end of their forever, all over in the span of one day. Lucas felt a sob in the back of his throat, he could never change how Eliott saw him. He could never kiss those lips or play with his gorgeous golden hair. Back to the fucking drawing board.

Ping! Finally, something to pull Lucas out of his thoughts and get him out of here. He could breakdown at any moment.

22:17 p.m. Yann: Hey, Lu. I just got home. Where are you?

“Everything alright?” Eliott asked.

22:18 p.m. Lucas: yeah, sorry, i had a drink with eliott and lost track of time.

22:19 p.m. Yann: Oooooo. I hope I’m not interrupting! Are you still a virgin?

“Um, yeah, I should go. My friends are wondering where I am,” Lucas glanced up at Eliott, hardly able to look at him. Hard to think that Lucas possibly had a chance with a boy like Eliott.

22:19 p.m. Lucas: no you’re fine. i actually was just leaving. and yes, i am very much a virgin.

22:20 p.m. Yann: Lucas, I don’t want you to walk home by yourself. I‘m sending an uber for you. Send me your location.

22:20 p.m. Lucas: [Lucas shared his location with you]

Lucas stood up and placed his phone in his pocket. He headed for the door and Eliott followed.

“Lucas, are you sure you’re okay?” Eliott asked as Lucas stepped into the hall.

“Yeah, yeah fine. It’s just been a while since I was high,” Lucas lied. Well, not a total lie, but that wasn’t what was causing his sudden urge to bolt. “Been a while, you know?” Eliott nodded.

“I hope you feel better,” Eliott said, placing his hand on Lucas’ shoulder.

As much as Lucas didn’t want to feel the sparks and the butterflies, he did. Lucas smiled and waved before heading down the stairs.

Lucas reached the bottom of the stairs and waited for Uber to arrive. He hugged himself to keep himself warm from the cold breeze that was blowing. How could he be so stupid? Falling for a boy who is out of his league and is straight. He felt like a fool.

The Uber pulled up, rolling down her windows and greeting Lucas. Lucas was about to enter the car when he heard running footsteps and a voice.

“Wait!”

It was Eliott. What could he possibly want out of me? Lucas thought.

“Lucas, wait,” Lucas turned to meet Eliott jogging up to him. “Let me take you out tomorrow.”

“Out? Why?” Lucas asked, gazing up at Eliott. God, that face, he would never get tired of looking at it.

“I want to get to know you,” Eliott explained. Lucas was silent, thinking if he should really continue to break his heart more. “Please, for me, for us.”

Lucas couldn’t pass this up. He might not get his forever with Eliott as lovers, but he couldn’t pass up a forever with him as friends.

“I’d love to, Eliott.”

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synnefo-nefeli · 4 years

Text

I’m a die hard Clerith shipper since 1997, you can’t change my mind but the one thing I won’t tolerate in FFVII aside from shipping wars, is anyone shitting on Tifa.

Don’t. You can like Clerith without hating Tifa. You can find other reasons to not to like Tifa as character, that isn’t “I don’t like her because she gets in the way of my ship”

Personally, Tifa isn’t one of my top tier FF characters, but I am not going to ignore how much of a badass and important person Tifa is to Cloud’s story.

People cite Aerith’s death and burial as the most important moment of FFVII, and yes it’s heartbreaking and an iconic scene. But you know what’s also an important scene?

Tifa in the lifestream with Cloud setting his memories straight. Tifa who up until this moment unbeknownst to the player, is aware that Cloud as he’s presented himself thus far *isnt* the Cloud he thinks he is. She’s been patiently going along with Cloud’s story trying to figure out *what happened* to him/ how he appeared in Midgar boasting of being a SOLDIER while clearly suffering from Mako poisoning/how will she ultimately break this story to him.

Think how hard it was for her to watch Cloud have ptsd episodes and not know how to ground him other than to say “it’s okay. Pull yourself together, let’s keep moving”, because she doesn’t know how or why Cloud is suffering.

But then they fall into the Lifestream together and Tifa helps Cloud sift through the memories warped and altered by the poisoning and Cloud’s severe PTSD.

Only Tifa could help Cloud here- she’s the only one on the Team who has known Cloud since they were young/understands Cloud’s motivations for wanting to become stronger in joining SOLDIER.

This part of the game is beautiful and emotional, and very ahead of it’s time in its portrayal and meta-discussion of PTSD; Cloud isn’t magically healed and back to normal, he never will be, be he’s reclaimed his identity enough that he can begin to heal. I’m replaying the original atm and the moment still holds and I’m hoping that the remake nails this moment. It’s as important and impactful to Cloud as a character as Aerith’s death.

Speaking of Aerith. Aerith and Tifa become friends from the jump. Aerith is so respectful of Tifa that twice she makes sure that she isn’t encroaching on Cloud and Tifa’s relationship. She asks Cloud if Tifa is his girlfriend, she reassures Tifa in Don Cornero’s Mansion that she’s not there to steal Cloud from her.

And yeah, Aerith isn’t trying to steal Cloud or anything - she helped a cute buff guy recover from a fall, asked him for an escort because this time the Turks brought backup to capture her, and got swept up in the ensuing events.

Hell, Aerith is ride or die for Tifa BEFORE THEY EVEN FORMALLY MEET EACH OTHER. Aerith sees Tifa being carted off to Wall Market and her “some bad shit’s about to happen to this woman if we don’t move NOW” senses go off.

Cloud’s like “oh let me take you home first and I’ll get my teammates...” and Aerith’s like “YOU NAIVE FOOL? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO CUTE GIRLS IN WALL MARKET? (tbh, considering how naive Cloud can be, I am going with ‘nope’.) WE GOTTA GO! QUICK GET INTO THIS SEXY DRESS BECAUSE MR. SOLDIER YOU’RE NOT COMING UP WITH A BETTER PLAN WE CAN WORK WITH!!” Aerith drives the entire plan to get into the Don’s mansion. She negotiates the dress, the wig, the makeup, EVERYTHING, to make sure that Cloud can pass as a women to come into the Mansion with her.

Heck, Aerith was going to go into the mansion HERSELF to get Tifa when the guard was like “No dudes allowed.” The only reason they went looking for dresses in Cloud’s size, was because Cloud got all “No, I can’t let you go in there a lone if it’s as bad as you think it is”, (as if he hadn’t just spent the last day with this woman watching her completely kick ass in battle). So Aerith was like, “Fine, you wanna come with me? Get in the Silk Dress, Cloud” with the same energy as Shinji’s Dad.

And when Aerith gets captured, Tifa was like “WE GOTTA GO AND SAVE HER FROM SHINRA!” as well as protecting Aerith through the whole ShinRa office building mission when the groups had to split up. So yeah, these two queens love and respect each other from the get-go, they put Cloud in his place, tease the shit out of him and Barret, probably had hair-braiding trains at camp, and support the hell out of each other .

Also, as we see from the rest of FFVII and in AC, Tifa is devastated by her friend’s death and continues to grieve with Cloud. Tifa is emotionally intelligent enough to see that Cloud’s grief and guilt over Aerith’s death is killing him, but also respects his need for space. However, when she finds that he has Geostigma and has staying away from everyone so he can just waste away and die as some sort of penance for not being able to save Aerith and zack, she get’s PISSED at him. Tifa is instrumental in bringing Cloud back (again) to his senses. Making him see, that he doesn’t only belong to himself, he belongs to their family, just as much as they belong to him. The love and fierce protection Cloud has for his family? They have that for him and believe he’s more than worthy of that love. Tifa takes none of Cloud’s mopey and self-loathing bs, and sets him straight.

So if you think Tifa is only there for fan-service, an annoying bitch who is there to be jealous of Aerith, is there just to make a love triangle so SE can pander to fans on both sides, you clearly

a) didn’t play the games b) missed one of the best female relationships and examples of women supporting women in gaming c) missed how equally important both Aerith and Tifa are to Cloud in their own ways

IMO I see her and Cloud as platonic soulmates- kinda like Black Widow and Hawkeye- they have history, they have shared trauma from their childhoods and in the destruction of Nibelheim, they know what it’s like to grow up in a poor country town that’s been exploited by Shinra on so many levels from the natural resources to it’s culture of military indoctrination and idealization.

Yes, there was an innocent first love, but after certain events, to me- it’s moved beyond romantic attraction between them. They’re always going to be important to each other and in each other's lives.

Their innocent first love to me, mirrors Zack and Aerith’s, but Aerith moved on and fell in love with Cloud. Yes, Cloud reminded her of Zack, she probably wanted to remain close to Cloud to get closure on what exactly happened to him.

People often forget, Aerith *knows* Zack’s died and returned to the Lifestream in the way that she knew her adoptive mother’s husband had died before word reached them. When she has her awkward moment in Gongaga it’s not because she’s now realizing that he’s dead, she’s now realizing that these are Zack’s parents and they still don’t know what became of their son. Zack was scrambled into Cloud’s memories due to trauma and because Zack was someone Cloud looked up and was his ideal, combined with the fact that Zack was the only person talking to Cloud for 9 months as Zack carried his catatonic self back to Midgar. But Cloud didn’t *become* Zack, only Zack’s plans of becoming a mercenary and being a former SOLDIER were impressed upon him. If Cloud actually became Zack he would have been chipper, this energetic “I’m a hero!” all around good-guy hero Zack made himself out to be. The Cloud we first meet...isn’t- yes he thinks he’s a former SOLDIER turned merc, but he’s sardonic, arrogant, and too much of “tough guy/lone wolf”...he’s more like his child-like self who was made to feel like an outsider and wants to showoff how much cooler and stronger he’s become. He didn’t find Aerith because Zack was some how possessing him. Aerith and Cloud meeting was destiny, and their subsequent relationship is independent of their past histories with Zack. And if Aerith is interested in Cloud because she reminds him of Zack - well...the woman is allowed to have a type.

I digress.

Cloud was in love with Tifa in that - “hey! notice me! If I go off an become this awesome guy, I’ll be worthy of your attention” sort of way, that teens get. He was a lonely kid, often bullied by the other children in the village (Tifa included), and probably didn’t know *why* he wanted Tifa’s attention- it was most likely Tifa had the most social capital among the kids. And despite her hot/cold treatment of him,Cloud who was desperate to prove himself, figured that if he somehow “won” Tifa’s attention, it would “show them”. I am not saying that Cloud was using Tifa or didn’t care about her- he does love her. He blamed himself for not being strong enough to save her when she tried climb Mt. Nibel. But you can’t ignore that his thirst to prove himself wasn’t wrapped up in his crush. It’s your typical “become a hero, get the girl” idealization. Cloud was 14 when he left Nibelheim for Shinra’s military. He was a child, just like Tifa, with a naive idea about how the world worked- and the world slapped them both in the face, HARD. Relationships mature and change over time. Outside forces can and will shift your dynamics in how your relate to the people you love. Sometimes your first crush, becomes one of your very best friends (happened to me personally so maybe this informs my take on Cloud and Tifa) because when you’re young you don’t understand that loving someone, outside of your nuclear family, isn’t only constrained to romance. This is what I believe happened to them. Cloud and Tifa had the quintessential school yard crush, and when they were reunited years later in Midgar, they still care deeply for each other in a different way than they did when they were 14 and 13.

But those are MY feelings, it’s how I play the game’s attraction mechanics; I am afforded to shape Cloud’s relationships as I, the gamer, see fit. I understand why Cloti shippers ship Cloud and Tifa, and they’re just as valid as Clerith, Zarith, Clack, etc.. but I’m a sucker for M/F platonic soulmates because there needs to be MORE of that in media. I rather Cloud and Tifa be platonic soul mates, co-parenting Marlene and Denzel with Barret, than Cloud “settling for Tifa because Aerith died”. which that explanation for Cloud x Tifa, often used by Clerith shippers, just undermines who Tifa is as a character and her’s and Cloud’s relationship.

But anyway, even though I don’t ship them and Tifa is not my #1 girl for VII, she is a vital character. She’s not there for fan-service. She’s not there exclusively for a love triangle and to cause tension between Aerith and Cloud. Tifa is VITAL to Cloud’s story, to the story of VII, to the planet of Gaia. You wouldn’t have VII’s core story without Tifa. And I will go to the mat for her just as hard as Aerith did when she saw Tifa in the cart bound for Wall Market.

So again: you may not ship her with Cloud, or she may not be your fave in VII, but in this house we forever respect the badass queen whose name is Tifa Lockhart

#ffvii #rant #tifa lockhart #in this house we love and respect Tifa Lockhart #even though we don't ship her with anyone really #I used to ship her with Barret and sometimes Rude #If Cloud didn't exist I would prolly ship her with Aerith tbh

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despairdiseases · 4 years

Text

When you walk away (Nothing more to say)

chapter 11 - Knock Knock Get The Door It’s Depression

trigger warnings: cussing, coffee, a quick mentions of death, mentions of running away from home, mentions of injury (pieces of glass in a hand), some negative self talk, please let me know if i forgot something

summary: Remus finally decides to do something right...kinda

author’s note: Sorry it took so long the planets just weren't aligned right. No, but seriously, I'm really sorry haha, shit was just going on in my life and I got really stressed. Hope people haven't forgotten about this yet :|

Remus knocked on the wooden door again, frustration apparent in the sharp, loud pattern. C'mon answer. He knocked again, his knuckled started to ache. C'mon. C'mon. Come on.

The door opened, revealing a tired man who was clearly perplexed by the sudden visit, partly because he just woke up "Rem? Dude, it's, like..." Nate trailed off and looked at the clock on the wall, "Shit, it's gonna be midnight. What the hell happened to you, kid?"

Remus looked at Nate's baffled face, the concern apparent on his features enough for both of them. He rolled his tired eyes, still slightly puffy from the tears "It's whatever. Will you let me in or not?"

Nate was...unsettled, to say at least. He didn't care what Remus did, for the most part, it's not like he was a big part of his life, but this...this doesn't feel good. Remus wasn't joking now, which meant something seriously bad has happened. Nate learned that the hard way. Besides, Remus' attempts at running away stopped long ago, so it wasn't that, which...actually made it worse now that he thought about it. Nate stepped out of the door frame, a few raindrops falling onto the floor as Remus made his way inside.

The house was significantly warmer than outside, Remus noticed. Still cold, though, maybe that was because he spent an hour or two wandering outside in rain, his clothes felt heavy, probably everything including him was soaked with water. He could hear Nate walk up to him even though the violent beating of the rain, "So, I am assuming you're not here for a slumber party," the older man looked him up and down, making a mental note to ask about Remus' clenched fist later.

Remus scoffed, "Yeah, no shit."

Nate furrowed his eyebrows...no joke? He's not even trying to be sarcastic? Something...someone seriously messed up. He walked over to the kitchen, turning the kettle on, they will both need something to drink, "You want some coffee? Y'know, since otherwise you're probably gonna freeze to death," he tried to lighten the mood, Nate never did that, he was the cool guy, Remus always clowned around. He even made a morbid joke, hoping to at least hear Remus chuckle. Not even a proper response came back, just a hum of what Nate assumed was agreement. He took a jar of coffee from the cupboard. Remus was surprisingly quiet...too quiet. He was never good with serious stuff, no matter how much he tried to be, he thought Remus knew that. Hoped, Remus knew that.

He glanced into the living room where Remus was seated on the couch, a wet spot from all the dripping water forming around him, some from his hair even fell to the ground as he ducked his head further down, "What happened, dude? Was it Elise again?"

Remus tilted his head back, "No," he said with a groan, "You know she died when I was like fifteen," he looked at Nate, "Right?" Nate was never the type to pay attention but damn it, even he should remember that.

"Oh, yeah, sorry, you know how I am with memory."

Remus hummed in response. The same monotone tone he was humming in all the times before. Nate really didn't want to nag Remus about it for the fear of only making whatever was happening worse. Still, he needed to know what was wrong, otherwise he couldn't help him "You still didn't answer my question," Remus looked at him with a sour look on his face, Nate doesn't think he saw that ever since...shivers shot down his spine as he shook his head, that was a long time ago, Nate was reaching, "What happened?" he pressed on, a little uncertain if that was a right thing to do. For fuck's sake, didn't his school have a counselor or something?

Remus looked away, eyes overflowing of doubt. Nate sighed and poured the finished coffee into two mugs. A little spilled on the ground as he made his way to the couch to sit with Remus, though both of them paid no mind to it.

"Have you ever..." Remus started and didn't finish, as if he swallowed his tongue. Nate was sure Remus could come up with a more creative and gross metaphor if he wasn't a shivering cold mess, which Remus never was, until, well, now. Nate started at Remus, finally putting his acting skills to use and making himself look serious and worried. Not that he wasn't, but his default face was more of a resting-bitch face, as Remus always put it. He never was good at expressing himself.

"Did you ever...fuck up? Like, big time? Something that you couldn't fix?" Remus's voice cracked a little bit at the end. He tried to scratch his arms but his overly-bitten nails didn't allow it. Nate made another mental note to ask about that, maybe talk to Natalie about this, suggest getting the kid a therapist.

"I mean, duh. All people fuck up sometimes" he took a sip of his coffee, unsure of what to say. It was painfully obvious he was trying to play it cool while having to idea what to do.

Remus tsked as his body jolted from the cold, then continued, "No, I mean like," he hesitated for a second and thought over the words racing around his mind, "Majorly fuck up. L-like, something really important."

Nate honestly didn't know how to respond to that, but he tried, for once in his life, "Yeah, of course. Everyone has things that they regret, there's no shame in that."

No response. Nate waited a bit longer, hoping the silence would urge Remus to speak up, before sighing heavily - finally something he was good at - and pushing the now lukewarm coffee towards Remus, "C'mon, drink, it'll warm you up."

Remus didn't drink the coffee, instead talking again, which was a relief but it did nothing to ease the knots in Nate's chest, "Let's pretend you fucked up with a really important person. And ruined years of building a friendship. Do you...do you think there would be a chance to save something?"

"Huh, I never really..." he hesitated, "Fucked up that much with a person, I don't..." Nate put down his cup with a huff, trying a more assertive approach, "Look, Rem, you're like 14-"

"17."

"Doesn't matter. Listen. If the friend that you're talking about really is your friend, they will forgive you, people have arguments all the time."

"It wasn't an argument," Remus rolled his eyes, "It's my fault that this happened anyways, and even though I've known him for so long it feels like I don't know him at all and it's weird and I want things to go back to the way they used to be," his vision got blurry, but he didn't let himself cry, he had enough of that. He wasn't sure if the uncomfortable tightness in his chest was from the melancholy heartbreak or the fact that he was running out of breath.

Nate took a sip of his coffee again, it was apparent by now that this was a nervous gesture, but it shouldn't be, he should be confident and reassure Remus, but hell, this was a new level of teenage drama. He took a deep breath, "Sometimes things can't go back. Sometimes it's for the worse, sometimes for the best, but right now you can only focus on what will be and if you'll let this one thing break you."

Once again, uncomfortable silence filled the room. But not for Remus. He felt better, knowing that he wasn't bottling it up inside anymore. At least not all of it. He reached for the surely cold coffee.

A piercing pain surged through him, still clinging in his hand even as the mind-numbing, quick sensation came to an end. Fuck. He forgot. How could he forget? Stupid. Stupid Remus.

"Woah there, the hell is that?" Nate reached towards his arm as soon as he could process what was happening, at which Remus promptly moved further away from him and stood up, backing away from the couch slightly. Nate hesitated, "Remus," a troubled tone sounded the room, "Show me your hand, Remus."

Reluctantly, almost like half of him protested, he did. What good was it gonna do keeping it from him anyway? Nate knotted his eyebrows, "Oh, you clumsy idiot," he huffed at the sight of the tiny pieces of glass scattered around inside the palm, "I am not a fucking doctor, why didn't you just go- y'know what? Fine, stay here, I'll bring the first aid kit, it's gotta be here somewhere..." he walked down the hallway to what Remus assumed was his bedroom, not that he was familiar with Nate's house. And Remus was left in silence once again. Left to wonder how exactly he found himself here, and why he found himself here? Remus found himself thinking about the butterfly effect, that one small misstep on his side which caused his life to change in an instant.

It wan not often that Remus thought about his future, but the heartwrenching scenarios that could - and will, Remus was certain - happen couldn't help but slowly creep their way into his head, slowly eating him up from the inside like maggots, Remus could practically feel the dopamine and serotonin leaving his body, leaving an empty shell of the jokester he once was. Maybe he was exaggerating, Dee always told him he was a drama queen, so did Roman. It hurt to even think those names, has Remus really become that sensitive?

The tiny drops of rain drummed against the window as Remus heard a distant, quiet rumble of thunder. Huh, he's probably gonna stay here overnight, he wasn't sure Nate would even let him leave, considering what state he came to him in. Speaking of Nate...

Remus got up, looking at the wet spot left behind him on the couch before he walked further into the house, his ears picking up on a hushed tone behind one of the doors. He carefully put his ear to it, trying to pick up on the sentences being spoken.

"Yeah, he's here, no need to worry."

Remus' breath hitched in this throat.

He barely heard Nate sigh, "Natalie, it's past midnight, just let him sleep here."

Oh, was it really that late? Remus didn't notice...

"Yeah, yeah, I will, don't worry, g'night," Remus presumed that Nate hung up, because the next thing that came out of his mouth was, "Worrywart bitch..."

Remus knew he and ma weren't on good terms, the reason was there, so that wasn't much of a surprise. Still kind of angered Remus. He could hear footsteps coming closer, and stepped away from the door as it opened.

"Oh, Rem," Nate startled.

Remus groaned, "You took too long, I was tempted to just pull the glass out myself," he added a playful tone to the end to make Nate less worried.

Nate scoffed and walked back to the small living room where Remus followed him, "Yeah, like I'd let you do that."

Remus wanted to complain but shut his mouth instead, sitting back down onto the couch. He silently wondered...what was everyone doing right now. How they were...

He was getting sentimental.

#finally i can call myself a writer again #when you walk away (nothing more to say)#remus sanders #yes thats nate from sanders shorts #no hes not that important #...is that all the tags??#yeah i think so

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chronicallylatetotheparty · 4 years

Text

After the Fall Ch.14 Reflections

LoganLight, AO3

Notes:

Trigger Warning: Panic Attack.

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Alya was confused.

She didn't like being confused. Even if the source of her confusion was making her other friends happy. Things should make sense when you put them together. That's not to say she didn't see the pattern.

Nino started talking to her about his music again. And more than that, actually sharing it with her. Letting her listen to unfinished mixes and accepting her input.

Marinette was having bursts of inspiration Alya hadn't seen in months. And she wasn't ripping out the Chat Noir inspired designs from her sketchbook like she used to, either.

Alya knew exactly who was responsible for these positive changes: Adrien Agreste!

. . . Okay, so it was probably too convenient for Adrien to be responsible for everything. But he was definitely a major factor!

Nino was spending more time with Adrien (and Kagami). Alya was happy Nino wasn't coming to her about Adrien being reserved around him anymore . . . Although, it was a bit weird that Nino wasn't being as forthcoming about his best friend as he used to be.

Marinette had the opposite reaction, her girl had so many thoughts they all came out in a jumble. They had talked late into the night about that first conversation after half a year of stuttering and single syllable answers. A conversation Adrien had started.

Maybe she was reading too much into this. It was normal to be happy when your friend starts talking to you again . . . But she needed to distract herself from Chat Noir.

Ladybug probably regrets telling me about that.

Alya was in the unenviable position of wanting to respect Ladybug's privacy and really, really wanting to know what happened to Chat Noir. Even if she'd only asked a handful of times her questions upset Ladybug. And that just wouldn't do.

So, without the boys around Rena Rouge had apologized for her behavior. That wasn't something she wanted to repeat anytime soon. Ladybug had enough to deal with as it was.

Still. Sometimes Ladybug acted . . . un-Ladybug-like. The guys wouldn't say anything so that left Rena Rouge to tactfully suggest maybe not putting their heavy hitter in the back. Alya understood why; Ladybug already lost one Black Cat, she wasn't about to lose another one.

Alya put those thoughts into the back of her mind to better focus on the blond enigma in front of her.

Adrien went from being Chloe's friend to her best friend's crush to her boyfriend's best friend. Throughout that first year Alya had spent precious little time actually being Adrien's friend. Instead focusing on Marinette's elaborate . . . she didn't want to say 'schemes'.

Alya hadn't noticed until Marinette's plans went from trying to gain Adrien's affection to trying to help Adrien open up.

And I thought her romance-oriented plans were out there.

. . . Alya really shouldn't be doing this . . . But she wanted to help. She wanted to know. And she wasn't the only one; the whole class wanted to know too.

Good thing Alix is here.

That girl made sure everyone had their head on straight. Especially Kim. Alix was good at talking Marinette out of some . . . questionable ideas. And keeping the art room from bugging Rose about her bandmate too much.

Or she used to. Everyone seemed to have accepted that whatever-it-is would remain a mystery. Adrien was smiling after all. Playing video games with Max, taking part in Kim's silly challenges, giving Nathaniel and Marc constructive criticism (not sure how that happened) on their comics, and basically being more involved with his friends than ever.

Maybe she should just let this go? Adrien wasn't the only one that ever died in an akuma attack or the only one to take it this hard. Alya shuddered as she remembered Syren.

"Trixx, what do you think?"

"I think you've been staring at a guy who isn't your boyfriend longer than socially acceptable," Trixx replied from his hiding place in her hair.

Alya blushed. "I have not!"

Some of the students in the courtyard turned to give her funny looks. Thankfully Adrien and Kagami were too far away to hear. Alya held her phone a bit higher, pretending to speak into it. No, it wasn't recording. Yet.

"Mm, you kind of have though. It's starting to reach Marinette levels," Trixx pointed out.

"I'm nowhere near Marinette levels!" Alya whisper-shouted.

"True. She never took pictures."

Alya groaned. Or maybe it was a growl.

"Didn't Nino make it abundantly clear that Adrien doesn't want to tell anyone else whatever-it-is?" Trixx reminded her.

"According to the Bro Code it is totally prohibited for me to reveal confidential info without the express permission of said bro . . . Sorry, dude."

". . . I wanna be mad at him."

"For being as good a friend to Adrien as you are to Marinette?"

"Majestia help me. It sounds so terrible when you put it like that."

Trixx patted her head. "You're a good Fox. And part of being a good Fox is knowing when to keep a secret."

"Even though I don't actually know it?"

"Especially then."

Alya lowered her phone. "So . . . No more snooping around Adrien?"

"What're you asking me for?"

"Right," Alya stood straighter and repeated herself with more conviction. "Right! Adrien is my friend who greatly values his privacy and I should respect-"

"M. DUPAIN! W-w-what are you doing here!?"

Alya looked at Adrien again and standing beside him was indeed Tom Dupain. How had she missed someone so tall? Alya walked toward them.

"-seen Marinette?" Tom Dupain asked.

"N-n-no." Adrien took a step back. "She m-might be in the art room."

Kagami grasped one of his hands tightly and stepped forward. "I'm sure Marinette just forgot to turn her phone back on . . . M. Damocles! M. Dupain is looking for Marinette."

Adrien quickly backed away, removing his hand from Kagami's who followed a step behind. Kagami positioned herself between Tom Dupain and Adrien.

"-really come to the office first." M. Damocles chastised.

"Oh, yes, of course! It's just . . . where is that again?"

Alya passed the two adults who didn't notice Adrien curling in on himself.

"It wasn't him . . . It wasn't him . . . It wasn't him . . . It wasn't him!"

"What- What's going on?" she asked Kagami.

Kagami ignored her and reached toward Adrien, who was pressing himself against the wall. "Adrien-"

"Don't. Touch. Me."

Kagami snatched her hand back. Adrien took deep breaths. Alya restrained herself from asking more questions.

Nino zoomed past her. "Adrien! Dude, what-"

Kagami jerked him to a stop.

"Hey!"

"He said no touching," Kagami explained.

"Oh . . ." Nino glanced from Adrien to their surroundings, his frown deepened.

Alya followed his gaze and realized they were attracting attention.

Nino gave Kagami a you-know-what-to-do look. She nodded and turned to glare at the gawkers; suddenly everyone was very interested in something else.

"Hey, bro? You wanna, maybe, go somewhere less . . . public?"

". . . Don't talk to me like that."

". . . You're totally causing a scene and I know you hate that. So get your butt moving, dude!"

Adrien's lips twitched. "Okay." He wouldn't meet anyone's eyes as he made his way to the boy's restroom.

"Nino!" This time Alya reached out to stop him. "Wait. What . . . What triggered him?"

Nino glanced between Alya's expectant face and Adrien's retreating back. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Ah, yeah. Look, dude, Adrien needs me now but, uh . . . Kagami! You explain!"

Alya turned to see Kagami's look of surprise and then turned back just in time to see her boyfriend disappear into the boy's room.

Why, that little-

"Coward!" Kagami exclaimed.

I'm the only one allowed to insult my boyfriend!

Alya mentally shook the automatic thought away. "So, how 'bout that explanation?"

"My honor prevents me from divulging anything without Adrien's consent," Kagami replied neutrally.

That sounded suspiciously similar to what Nino had told her . . . Although it wasn't any different from what Kagami had said before. The idea that the three of them had planned specifically for her left Alya feeling . . . conflicted.

"All I want is to know what happened so I can help! Then Adrien won't have to deal with . . . This!" Alya gestured vaguely around them.

Kagami's eyes softened. "Today was a special circumstance. I doubt he's encountered this trigger at all since the incident."

Alya tried not to feel annoyed at the deflection. "This trigger? What was different today?"

Kagami just raised an eyebrow.

"Adrien, you, no Nino, no Marinette, M. Dupain . . ." Alya's eyes widened. "Weredad!"

"Keep your voice down!"

"Of course! The timing matches up! That's why he . . . Oh."

"It took you this long to piece that together?"

"I was a bit distracted at finding out one of my friends died! Not turned into a statue or encased in magical ice or . . . Or anything else! Died."

Kagami's look shifted. "Is this the first time it's happened to someone close to you?"

"No, but . . . It's been a while."

"I see." Kagami must've seen that Alya didn't want to talk about that with her. "Have you told Marinette?"

"My girl has enough to deal with. I can't just go 'Hey, Marinette! Adrien died half a year ago and didn't tell anyone because reasons!' "

"Perhaps you should say that louder so everyone can hear," Kagami said sarcastically.

Alya ignored this and barreled on with her rant. "No way! Not doing that! Especially with Weredad involved. She has this weird guilt about that villain! Knowing Adrien got caught up in it will only make her feel worse!"

"And how would Adrien feel if I betrayed his trust by telling you something he doesn't want me to?"

. . . Well, drat.

"That's a fair point but I already figured out Weredad. Isn't there anything you can tell me about what happened?"

"Adrien didn't offer specifics and I didn't ask."

Alya sighed in defeat. Kagami hadn't budged since this whole affair started. At this point Alya was just questioning Kagami out of habit.

"At least I know why Adrien was avoiding my girl now."

"Right. That's why he did that."

". . . Do you think Nino needs help?"

"Boy's bathroom. And no, he's much better at getting Adrien to 'chill' than I am."

"You three seem close."

"Hasn't Nino provided exposition?"

"My boyfriend is suspiciously unforthcoming"

Kagami smiled. "He really is terrible at keeping secrets."

"Oh, you have no idea."

Kagami gave her a thoughtful look. "How is Marinette?"

"Well, now that 'Sunshine' is talking to her again Marinette's obs- concern is at an all time low. Thanks for that."

Kagami shook her head. "I should be thanking you. I don't think Adrien would have opened up to Nino when he did if you hadn't talked to him. You're a good friend."

Gratitude swelled in Alya's chest at the words.

"He's had fewer off day's with Nino around," Kagami continued. "Today notwithstanding."

"Do you think they'll stay in there all day?" Alya remembered Adrien's previous episodes.

"Adrien's stronger than you think," Kagami stated with conviction.

As if to prove her point that's when the boys emerged. Nino looked at the girls nervously. Adrien seemed embarrassed but held his head up.

Kagami stepped toward them and raised an eyebrow "Well?"

Adrien took a deep breath and said, "I need to see M. Dupain again."

"What!?" Alya exclaimed.

Kagami's other eyebrow rose to meet the first then she narrowed her eyes accusingly at Nino.

"Dude, it's not my fault! I tried to talk him out of it! Bro's seriously determined."

Kagami looked at Adrien. "You shouldn't push yourself before you're ready. Healing takes time."

"I've had time. Now I need to face my demons." Adrien squared his shoulders.

"That's great and all," Alya said. "But you faced him ten minutes ago. Didn't turn out so great."

"Understatement," Nino agreed.

Adrien gave a questioning look to Kagami.

"She knows about Weredad," Kagami explained.

"Ah." Adrien pushed his surprise aside and looked at them, unwavering. "He took me by surprise. I can do this! . . . If you help me."

Well . . . That's just cheating.

Kagami stared at him for a moment. Apparently satisfied with what she saw Kagami nodded. "Alright."

"What!?" Nino cried out, full of concern. "But . . . Dude . . ."

"He says he can do it," Kagami said, giving Nino a meaningful look.

Nino glanced between Adrien and Kagami, his worried eyes landed on Alya.

"I'm in," Alya said.

Adrien gave her a grateful smile.

Nino slumped in resignation but quickly straitened and set his cap. "Right dudes! If we're gonna do this someone needs to look out for Marinette and Chloe."

Alya understood perfectly. Didn't want Marinette seeing Adrien react badly to her dad. And as for Chloe . . .

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"Of course Queen Bee is the best superhero!" Chloe exclaimed. "But at least Panthera is much better than that mangy alley cat who turned tail and ran!"

The courtyard was suddenly very quiet except for Marinette's growling beside Alya. Nino and Kagami stood next to a stiff Adrien, shooting daggers at Chloe.

"What?" Chloe asked disdainfully. "Anyone with eyes can see it. Ladybug herself told me Chat Noir just up and left! Right?"

Sabrina nodded vigorously.

Alya wasn't sure who was angrier: her or Nino. That was not what Ladybug told them! Alya opened her mouth to launch verbal barbs at Chloe, but her words were lost in the cacophony of voices.

"How dare you!?"

"Like you'd know a good superhero-"

"Chloe Bourgeois!"

"-if he fell on your head!"

"Chat Noir was an awesome hero!"

"Ladybug would be ashamed of-"

"Oh, please!'" Chloe cut them off . "Like you haven't been thinking the same thing! We're all better off without that-"

"Shut. Up."

Everyone stared at Adrien in varying degrees of shock. He was trembling, eyes down and fists clenched.

"A-all you do is i-insult everyone around you. Criticizing e-every flaw l-like you don't have any." Adrien looked up to glare at Chloe who stood frozen. "That- That's not okay! J-just because you're in pain doesn't give you the right to m-make everyone else as miserable as you!"

Adrien bolted. Chloe lurched after him. "Adrien, wait!"

She didn't get far as Nino blocked her path. "No, you don't, dude!"

"Outta my way you-"

Kagami walked up to Nino's side "No."

Fluttering black wings appeared in the corner of Alya's eye. She whipped her head toward it so fast pain flared in her neck . . . But it was only a white butterfly.

Unease filled Alya as she gazed around at her agitated classmates. Alix and Kim glared angrily at Chloe. The blond herself demanded to see Adrien, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes. Rose and Juleka held each other while Luka stood protectively near them. Max was attempting to calm a confused Markov. It was a powder keg.

Alya turned to a troubled Marinette who gazed in the direction Adrien fled. "Girl, you gotta do something."

Marinette snapped out of her thoughts. "M-me?"

"Yes, you!" Alya took in everyone around them with her hands. "This is one black butterfly short of an akuma attack."

"Yeah, but . . ."

"They'll listen to you, Marinette."

Determination filled Marinette"s eyes as she nodded. "Make sure Adrien doesn't get akumatized."

"You got it, girl."

As Marinette went to pacify a former Bee, a Turtle, and a potential Dragon, Alya searched for Adrien. He wasn't hard to find.

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Notes:

Alya is being introspective (and a bit hard on herself) due to circumstances. Trixx can totally hide in her hair and no one can convince me otherwise! Trixx is either a more nuanced Plagg or a more mischievous Tikki: I can't decide which.

The second part is a flashback in case that wasn't clear.

Chloe is the most vocal critic of Chat Noir. If she was less clingy or if Adrien was more vulnerable I believe he'd take it MUCH harder than he does in canon. Though he might be repressing that like he does everything else. Also, Adrien is her main motivator when it comes to improving herself. Take him away and she regresses easily.

As for Alya's observations in the beginning: All of her friends are under new and stressful conditions that have only really been normalizing recently. Her boyfriend and best friend are creative types and stress is very good at giving you a creative block.

(Also, I’m taking liberties with panic attacks because I didn’t research them at all when I wrote this. Sorry, about that.)

Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10 Ch.11 Ch.12 Ch.13 Ch.15 Ch.16 Ch.17 Ch.18 Ch.19 Ch.20 Ch.21 Ch.22

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tarmairons · 5 years

Text

re: that last hp ask i got

i know i said i wouldn’t be cross-posting my bellamort/dark au/riddle fam headcanons from twitter but i’ve decided to post a lengthy updated masterpost here after all so ENJOY bon apetit

1. see the thing is that 90% of my hcs can’t be described with words bc they’re just.. feelings.. aesthetics.. vibes.. vague scenarios that make me feel some sort of way… the dark au has a certain Feel and i just stick a bunch of domestic concepts in there and shake it all up and that’s it shshsh

2. disclaimer: im like 75% sure my self indulgent ramblings won’t make sense so sorry about that

3. i was fully serious that one time i said on twitter that voldemort’s no.1 priority after taking over the wizarding world was doing sth about his snace (snake face) so yeah. first things first he’s not as fugly in the dark au. as mentioned previously he just looks like mr. ralph and probably wears ornate haute couture power suits

4. the public doesn’t actually know who the augurey is for YEARS… they know whoever it is is voldemort’s second in command and sure there’s rumors that he has an heir but nobody knows it’s delphi. this way she doesn’t have to be reclusive and hide away, she just lives her life, studies and trains, masters the art of dark magic, hangs around town etc, and no one suspects anything bc who would think this tiny super friendly innocent looking girl is the dark lord’s kid — her identity isn’t revealed until she’s deemed Ready to publicly take up her position. and when she is revealed it’s a Big Moment bc she’s a drama queen and lives for attention

5. delphi is taller than bellatrix

6. speaking of bellatrix. she’s presumed dead after the battle of hogwarts which turns out to be a cool bonus for the dark side. any leftover resistance? she’ll take care of that and they’ll never see her coming. tbh this seems a lot cooler in my head bc movie bellatrix would not be stealthy enough to stay hidden for years she would probs trip over something and accidentally commit arson within a few days. but yeah sneaky assassin sounds sexy. plus to be super honest i imagine bella is a teensy bit more collected than in the films... no shade at helena y’all know i would die for her but there are in fact things i would change about her bella. so yeah for a while the only people who know she’s alive aside from her immediate family are probs rod and the malfoys

7. hm so. the malfoys…. much to think about. narcissa did lie to voldemort’s face during the battle so logically he should have killed her the moment he realized she knew harry was alive all along. but this is a soft dark au so let’s pretend bellatrix was like hey dude don’t kill my sister maybe and voldemort was like k. i mean no harm done, harry potter is properly dead in this universe after all

8. but seriously tho. the only reason voldemort didn’t yeet narcissa into a wall was for bella’s sake. he’s nice like that, he probably promised her at one point that he wouldn’t violently murder her family. peak romance

9. delphi is surprisingly close with both her parents although with voldemort it’s more of a mentor-student relationship than a parent-child one bc he’s Like That. growing up it was always bella who insisted they treat delphi more like a child and less like a weapon and voldemort wasn’t always happy about that bc he’s emotionally constipated and also never had a childhood. also he’s, like, evil. so yes, reminding voldemort that delphi was her daughter too sometimes got bella in trouble bc we all know of voldemort’s superiority issues. but no bella didn’t stop insisting that delphi deserved an actual childhood and in the end they compromised like functional adults and delphi turned out pretty well for someone raised by 2 of the most terrifying people alive

10. but yeah that’s not to say voldemort and kid delphi never had soft moments. they did. he even picked her up every once in a while. everyone was surprised, bella most of all. she probably cried in the bathroom later bc the softness overwhelmed her. i’m not sure if i mean that in a sarcastic shitpost kind of way or if she was really moved to tears. y’all decide for yourselves

11. delphi looks very very much like bella but she has tom riddley eyes.. so dark they’re nearly black. and soulless. maybe they even flash red when she’s enraged. and she has very aristocratic very controlled tom riddley mannerisms. it’s not until you piss her off and she goes off the rails that the bella side of her personality kicks in

12. delphi gets along really well with the malfoys (except lucius. she thinks he’s pathetic and likes to tease him. in a friendly way but it’s still harsh. she gets that from her mom) esp scorp. scorp thinks this makes him cool at school bc he gets to fist bump the augurey and not get murdered for it

13. speaking of hogwarts. umbridge is scared shitless of delphi and it’s always a school-wide spectacle when the augurey drops by unexpectedly on official business and umbridge starts stuttering and quivering. scorp sometimes makes a point to approach umbridge and delphi when they’re talking and act all chummy-chummy with his cousin just to make himself look powerful and Cool in front of umbridge and the other students

14. i still don’t know whether voldemort would call delphi ‘delphini’ or just ‘delphi’… i imagine he’s a strict stick-up-his-ass kinda father but who knows. he does call bellatrix ‘bella’ but that’s different i guess

15. but THEN AGAIN he does have a gigantic soft spot for delphi too. maybe he slips up every so often and calls her delphi. i’m literally making this shit up as i go along i’m just smashing my mf keyboard and occasionally glancing at my messy hcs notebook. I TOLD YALL i don’t have solid hcs i just have VIBES and AESTHETICS. the only way you’ll get specific hcs out of me is if you ask very specific questions

16. weirdest brotp is delphi and rodolphus. nobody knows where that came from but they get along so well and it confuses everybody

17. we been knew that bella is batshit crazy and criminally insane or whatever but against all odds she is a surprisingly good mother. she’s always been soft for family (narcissa etc) so it makes sense that she would legit die for delphi. they have this super casual bantery relationship YALL GET ME bella is so proud of delphi she’s literally that “my little baby off to destroy people” meme!!! honestly mother-daughter relationships are my goddamn weakness i would die for the two of them

18. delphi has a gf (underdeveloped oc time!) who, for the longest time, doesn’t know who she is dating bc delphi is obviously not allowed to say. she finds out the truth eventually and she is properly freaked out for a very very long time. and since all of these hcs are stupidly soft we’re just gonna keep making them softer: the gf is terrified of delphi’s parents at first (obvs) but they’re both extremely fond of her (well, bella is, voldemort probs doesn’t care all that much about who delphi is dating so long as she’s not of subpar blood status or secretly spying for the opposition ya know. as long as delphi trusts her he does too)

19. no but really voldemort trusts delphi and bella implicitly. with delphi it’s bc he raised her and he trusts her to be loyal bc she knows no other way, she was meant to be an extension of his power etc. but with bella it’s something he learns over time, to trust her judgement bc despite her many many flaws she’s very perceptive and usually right

20. voldemort probably makes more horcruxes. still haven’t decided how this ties in with the fact that he’s now safely immortal again and neither delphi nor bella are. who knows maybe they all do the do and split their souls. much to think about. feel free to send ur thots and ideas my way

21. ya know im basic and always on my bellamort bs and therefore: as the years go by voldemort warms up to bella. not that he wasn’t already extremely fond of her before but he kicks it up a notch. i mean, he’s already taken over the world so it’s high time to start experimenting with other wilder things like Feelings. 80/90 years old isn’t too late to experience Love or whatever. might as well wake up one day and realize you’re completely and utterly in love with the woman you’ve spent the last 50+ years with whew. LIKE to be fair bella knows him better than anyone — they understand each other, they’re familiar with each other’s likes, dislikes, mannerisms, nervous tics etc etc. let’s be real it freaked voldemort out at first, being vulnerable to any degree (not that he let it show) but it just became so easy to tell her things that it became a natural thing to do. and obvs he trusts her to keep everything between them and never judge him for anything so that’s sweet

22. y’all keep asking me for domestic hcs but what can i possibly say?? imagine literally any domestic scenario ever and just think bellamort and i’ve probably imagined that same scenario before. except its sexier bc the world is dark and evil and they live in a dark gloomy super fancy manor. so we have these 2 goths right but they’re in love but in that casual familiar way YALL GET ME and sometimes they even drink coffee together in the mornings or like. do that thing where Person A returns from work late at night and its dark and raining and Person B is already home just chilling and they don’t even have to talk they just go about their nighttime routine but it’s soft and familiar and COMFORTABLE. i clearly dont have enough softness in my life i just. love domestic scenarios bye

23. i forgot everything else i wanted to write bc i got distracted by domesticity. im also thinking about how voldemort absolutely despises the thought of any pda but he’ll take bella by the wrist in public every so often when he wants to get her attention, or like. put his hand on her back. small things but oh so soft

24. hhhh okay i have a LOT to say about the power fam’s fashion choices but it’s hard to explain without pictures. i have a wholeass ppt presentation but i’m not about to upload 20+ slides to tumblr. but i seriously was not kidding when i said voldemort wears fancy suits and yes i have references. meanwhile delphi is a fan of feathers but mostly goes with lowkey military-style outfits.. she’s practical yet ostentatious. bella sticks to a conservative yet undeniably sexy selection of evil looking dresses.. i should make all of these into pinterest boards hmm

25. controversial opinion but i think delphi knows she and voldemort are half bloods. so does bella but that’s a whole other story, she been knew. anyhow yeah delphi was told the truth bc it was better for her to find out from the source rather than hear rumors from the opposition and begin to distrust the foundations of voldemort’s whole empire and voldemort himself

26. i used to absolutely hate fics where bella would eventually call voldemort by his name but now im like FUCK THAT we don’t do guilty pleasures anymore we just stan ridiculous things and that’s that. one day voldemort had a Thought (shocking, i know) and was like. Hm so we have a wholeass child and we’re basically married maybe bella shouldn’t have to call me My Lord for the rest of her life. BUT ONLY IN PRIVATE. THATS BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM it’s nobody’s business. It Is Nobody’s Business

27. speaking of marriage. bella and rod got divorced a few years after the battle. it was just a formality tho let’s be real. they remained very close friends tho!!!!!!!! i think that’s an unpopular opinion among bellamort stans but i genuinely believe bella and rod were always close the way best friends or family are ya know. rod really loves bella but as long as she’s happy he’s happy even if it means her fucking the dark lord on the reg or whatever

28. going back to #6 — when the public finally finds out that bella’s alive they obviously start to wonder about her and voldemort and connect the dots re: delphi etc but nobody ever gets any concrete answers bc there’s never any public pda.. any sort of affection is limited to when it’s just the two of them. and obviously it’s not like voldemort gossips about his private life in tabloid interviews or whatnot. ALSO the whole Bella Is Alive reveal isn’t nearly as dramatic as delphi’s big moment.. it’s more discreet and insidious in that way it implies that she was there hiding in plain sight all along. and if the ministry can keep sth this big a secret, what else are they hiding.. ah classic intimidation tactics of an authoritarian regime

29. i dont think this is ever stated in the CC but in terms of politics and bureaucracy i imagine voldemort has a fancy office in the ministry and spends 99% of his time there and rarely spends any time out and about. he’s almost never seen by anyone, rarely attends events etc. delphi’s the one who handles the day to day shit in the wizarding world. she’s like.. the public relations manager.. between the public and voldemort

30. bella is of similar status within the ministry but that’s just bc people are scared shitless of her. she doesn’t actually hold any political power and she most certainly does not want to, that is not her area of expertise at all

31. delphi is dangerously powerful and i think that’s really sexy of her

32. re: #21 it’s like. as voldemort warms up to bella, she in turn chillaxes a bit with the whole blind devotion thing and becomes bolder with him like. she’ll outright question his decisions or tell him what he should do, make judgement calls etc. and it becomes a regular thing.. turns into this casual companionship ya feel.. i won’t say they become equals bc that’s just unrealistic but he certainly stops treating her like his inferior. he recognizes her value and i daresay her authority and stops treating her like shit all the time Wow Romance Is Alive!! (this sounds like some sort of “douche fuckboi changes for his poor mistreated love interest” schtick but it’s really not that bc they’re both monstrous people who do not deserve any pity so jot that down. they’re horrible and they deserve each other and they eventually do make it work and i am so so happy for them)

33. it is never outright stated that voldemort can’t love. jkr has said that he doesn’t understand love and that it’s just symbolism!!! that he’s the child of a loveless union and grew up without knowing love!!! BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE PHYSICALLY CANNOT LOVE thanks for coming 2 my ted talk. i wasn’t aware of this until a few months ago and i was thrilled to find out my soft hcs are not entirely ooc after all

34. THE POINT IS. THEY ARE A SEMI-FUNCTIONAL FAMILY and i just really love soft domestic scenarios so sorry jkr but the dark au is the only canon now and it belongs to me. everybody has feelings and everything is soft. i’d like to pitch an idea for a kuwtk style reality show but it’s these 3 sociopaths under one roof navigating family life and wizarding world politics

35. to finish i’d like to apologize for downplaying the fact that all 3 of the people i woobified in this post are psychotic murderers and tyrants etc

—— i’ll be updating this if/when i remember anything i forgot AND ALSO send me ur thoughts and comments and constructive criticism etc pls pls pls

—— follow me on twitter and also curiouscat bc i get a scary amount of q’s about voldemort’s sex life thank you and goodbye

edits:

36. in this household we stan dark haired delphi. no i will not be taking any criticism regarding this particular fact

37. bella and voldemort never get married. obviously, because that’s a disgustingly romantic and pointless thing to do. it’s sentimental and unnecessary (well, voldemort thinks so, bella might just disagree but she’s not about to force his hand) BUT that’s not to say they’re not basically an old married couple anyway. AND as much as voldemort thinks love is weakness or whatever he knows this, that they’re about as close as two people can get. SO if he just so happens to gift her a ring.. well it’s a purely symbolic gesture but the implication is definitely there

38. it’s the horcrux ring. he trusts her that much. m y h e a r t

#hp #harry potter #bellamort

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reddie-to-go · 6 years

Text

I'll Kiss All of Your Wounds Away

So this is another piece written by @princesschelliebelle I’ll start posting my stuff again soon. But in the meantime, I really like the way she writes. there is a trigger warning on this for an attempt at suicide, it’s a little dark but good, keep reading if you’re okay with that.

Richie padded down the stairs only to be smacked in the face with the sour, putrid smell of vomit.

"Fucking great", he mumbled to himself. He walked quicker, hoping to avoid the inevitable.

Richie opened a cabinet and started to rummage around, hoping to find something, anything, to eat that was easy to grab quickly, so he could dart back up the stairs and lock himself away in his room again.

No such luck.

Leaning against the kitchen door frame, half-lidded, and partially covered in her own vomit, was his sad excuse for a mother, Maggie Tozier.

She scowled and gestured at him with the beer bottle in her hand.

"What the fuck are you doing in the cabinets, Richard? I swear, you're going to eat us out of house and home."

Richie gritted his teeth, and tried not to bait her. He knew where it would lead.

Seventeen years of the same crap had taught him that. But he was hungry and tired, and his patience threshold wasn't particularly high at the moment.

"That's so damn hilarious considering I haven't eaten in 2 days, since someone spent the grocery money on booze", Richie spat out, without turning to face her.

Richie could feel the anger radiating off her in the seconds before she spoke.

"What did you say to me, you little shit?"

Richie slammed the cabinet shut, and decided to resort to what he knew best to try to defuse the situation. Sarcasm.

"Nothing, Maggie. I'm just making yet another sly attempt at stealing your best tupperware. Damn, foiled again." He turned on his heel, hoping to make a quick exit.

Just then, Richie heard a loud crack and the sound of glass shattering.

If you blinked, you might have missed it.

Richie pulled his hands to his head, trying to make sense of the searing pain on his scalp.

He ended up on the floor, his back to the kitchen wall.

Suddenly, as he put his hands in front of his face, it processed. Shards of glass.

His mother had chucked the beer bottle at him, and she had more than met her mark

"You selfish, ungrateful little child. You think you're so funny, and you're so smart. Well, you wouldn't have fucking anything if it wasn't for us!", she yelled at him venomously. She seemed entirely unconcerned it the trickle of blood now running down from his hairline to his neck.

His head throbbed, and he looked up at her. Richie could feel his heart pounding, the adrenaline making him quick to speak.

"What do you mean 'us'?! As if you spend your money on anything but alcohol! Shit, we both know that your husband pays for nearly everything!"

She chuckled low and shook her head at him.

"You fucking waste of space. You think you're special, Richard? You're the abortion that should have been! But noooo, your father wanted a family so bad. We had hoped at least we would have a daughter. HA! You were true to character from the start....a God damn disappointment."

Richie wanted to tune her out, he really did.

He really wanted to believe in the old adage "Sticks and Stones". But right now, he felt like melting into the linoleum tile and dissolving away into oblivion.

The drunk grabbed a new bottle of beer and popped the top off on the counter.

She took a long swig and began again as Richie stood to his feet.

"Hmm, it's ironic really. Now even your father regrets you. Why do you think He's away on business 21 days of every month?" She stumbled over to the doorway again, glanced at the glass mess on the floor, and scoffed.

Then she shuffled away to leave Richie alone at last.

Richie ran up the stairs so fast and shut the door so hard that the walls shook.

Richie wasn't about to give that bitch the satisfaction of seeing him cry.

He began to sob so hard that he started to dry heave.

Snot ran down his face and intermingled with the mostly dried blood trail from the slice on his scalp. He haphazardly wiped at his face with his jacket sleeve and buried his face into his pillow to scream.

Richie didn't know how long he stayed in his room with his muffled screams and cries filling the space. Richie swore that time moved at a different pace depending on your mood.

And from years of unwitting practice, Richie decidedly thought time moved at a snail's pace when you were shoulder deep in self-loathing. But according to the clock on his nightstand, it had only been just shy of an hour since he ran up here.

When his tears ceased, he stood up and moved as if he was on autopilot. His face felt stiff, sticky and hot, and his eyes felt swollen.

He walked downstairs and found his mother passed out on the sofa, in front of the television. He stared at her motionless form in disdain. If looks could kill, they say.

He walked to the dining room, seeking out the familiar oak liquor cabinet.

He crouched down, and carefully picked his poison. He picked up a half-full bottle of some type of rum and walked up to his room once more.

"Like mother, like son", he whispered to himself bitterly.

He just wanted to be numb.

Tonight, was the first time he had sunken to her level, so to speak. Richie was not one to 'drown his sorrows' with alcohol.

No, the drunken, sadistic psycho role was already taken in this family.

But tonight, he had reached his tipping point.

He removed the ornate glass top, and started taking sips straight from the bottle, shuttering as it burned its way down his throat.

Richie found himself lost in thought as his whole body warmed with each swallow of rum.

Richie first realized he was depressed at roughly age 14.

He had seen those anti-depressant commercials, talking about how one becomes "lethargic, disinterested, persistently feeling sad and empty".

But "trashmouth" Tozier wasn't one to just lie down and take it.

He tried his best to be happy.

He would try to stay out of the house as often as possible and spend time with the fellow losers as much as he could.

He would crack perverted jokes, clown around, tease and poke fun, but at the end of every day, one thing remained.

He had to go home to that hell hole and feel the weight of the father who doesn't know him and doesn't care.

He had to go home and feel the burn of a mother who despises him.

And then be left alone with his thoughts.

And sometimes, Richie thought his own mind was worst of all.

His home life aside, he also was forced to face two things consistently.

First being that he felt replaceable, and disposable at best.

The losers club, that glorious lucky 7, in his opinion, didn't need Richie to be as perfect as it was.

His friends loved him, he knew that. And god, the feeling was mutual. But even still, the nagging thought remained.

You see, everyone has a role.

There's Beverly, the courage of the group.

Then there is Bill, the unofficial leader.

Then there is Stan who is the reasoning, and Mike is the kindness.

Then comes Ben who is the knowledge.

And of course, there is Eddie Kaspbrak, the nurturer of the pack.

But what was Richie?

The court jester?

A placeholder?

A 'waste of space'?

And he wished his thoughts ended there, but that would be too simple.

Oh, how Richie longed for things to be simple.

When you're life is one big convoluted shit show, the last thing you need are romantic feelings.

Especially not unrequited feelings for your male best friend, without one fucking soul knowing.

There were so many reasons why Richie was so in love with Eddie, but the biggest was Eddie's gigantic heart.

And worse yet, was the realization that Eddie didn't deserve to be stuck with someone as worthless as Richie.

But Richie knew he would never be so lucky to have him feel the same way in the first place.

He couldn't decide which thought hurt worse.

Richie sat on his bed, headphones blasting in his ears.

His vision was fuzzy around the edges, and his head felt like it was stuffed with cotton.

He rested it back on his headboard and picked at the frayed hole in his jeans.

Why didn't he feel better?

Why wasn't his mind blank?

Richie tried to stand up, and ended up landing hard on his knees.

"Shit....I can't fucking walk right, but I can't shut my mind the fuck up?", Richie mumbled angrily.

He slowly pushed himself up, and shuffled to his desk.

He slid open the drawer and pulled out his pocket knife.

He flipped open the blade and observed how it glinted in the dim bedroom light.

Richie smiled sadly as he ran his finger along the cold, smooth length of the blade and thought to himself, 'Maybe I can just shut my mind up forever some other way.'

Richie’s mind was made up.

He couldn't take one more day, one more hour, one more minute of hating the skin he was in, and everything inside of that shell.

Suddenly, he had the urge to call Eddie.

He grabbed the house phone off the cradle, and went back to his room and locked the door.

He sat on his bed and dialled the number he knew by heart.

Eddies groggy voice came on the line after 3 rings.

Richie sighed into the phone at the familiar voice, before he slurred out "Hello, Eddie Spaghetti. I'm sorry its so late, I woke you up." Eddie didn't skip a beat before saying, "Rich, don't fucking call me that. And are you drunk, dude?" Richie lets out a hiccup as if on cue, and leaned his flushed cheek onto the receiver.

"Maybe. But that doesn't matter. All that matters is I got to talk to you one last time. Because you're most important to me. Did you know that, Eds? God, I hope you know that. Just promise me you'll never change, Eddie."

Eddie broke out into a cold sweat, panic making his heart jolt into overdrive, and he began to yell into the phone, "Richie, what you do you mean 'last time'? What's wrong? Are you OK? RICHIE?!".

Eddies stomach dropped when he heard the deafening silence, a click, and then a dial tone.

Eddie had never pedalled his bike so hard in his life.

He muscles were screaming at him, burning as he furiously pumped his legs to go faster, faster, faster.

He needed to get there in time.

Eddie didn't know what happened, but he wasn't going to wait until it was too late to find out.

He made it there in half the normal amount of time as usual, and ran through the front door without stopping.

He thudded upstairs, panting from exertion and anxiety.

He went to turn the knob on Richie’s door, but it wouldn't budge.

Eddie felt like there was a timer ticking down ominously overhead, and it nauseated him.

He thought quickly.

He ran to the master bedroom and whipped open one of Mr. Toziers drawers.

Eddie knew he was a dentist, and was praying there was some dental tools somewhere, anywhere.

"Yes!", he yelled out loud, grabbing some sharp, surgical steel tools.

He grabbed a handful and darted to his door.

As luck should have it, the first one Eddie shoved in the keyhole popped the lock open, and Eddie tumbled inside, gasping for breath.

Eddie went cold with what he saw.

Richie was on the bed, slumped sideways, whimpering softly, while blood ran out of a cut on his left wrist.

Blood slowly dripped to the carpeting below.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no....Richie! What did you do, Rich? Oh my god, what the fuck did you do?" Eddie cried, as he desperately pressed the blanket to the wound.

Eddie didn't expect Richie to answer, but Richie groaned and swivelled his head towards Eddie, and opened his eyes, trying to focus.

"Eds....Hi. You aren't supposed to be here...You can't be here. Stop...please leave.", Richie said, starting to cry.

Eddie moved the blanket to look at the cut.

It was fairly long and moderately deep.

However, thankfully, Richie didn't seem to know that when suicide was the desired option, cutting lengthwise is deadlier than cutting across.

Richie could have stitches.

Eddie thanked his lucky stars, and started to yell "What were you thinking? Why would you do this, Richie? Why? We love you, I love you!

Why?" Richie scrunched his face up, and looked away.

He just cried and cried, and Eddie leaned forward and leaned onto his chest, listening to his heartbeat. A steady, rhythmic reminder of what Eddie almost lost.

After Richie had managed to catch his breath, he spoke softly "I'm sorry...but.. I'm just a mistake, Eds. I have no purpose...I have no reason to stay. I have no one who loves me. And not just the losers...I mean the real kind. Like, capital "L" love. And the fact is, no one ever will. And I’m tired of being reminded why every day..." he trailed off, his gaze fixed to the wall.

Eddie never thought he would say what he was about to say out loud, but he also never thought that he'd be here with Richie, after his suicide attempt.

After that, nothing seemed as scary to him anymore.

Eddie gingerly grabbed Richie’s hand before beginning, "Rich, this is not the way I ever wanted to do this. In fact, I never thought I would be doing it in general. But if manning up and confessing my feelings to you is what it takes to make you want to stay around today, tomorrow, and the next day...well, I will say it until I'm blue in the face" He paused, and took a deep breath.

Richie turned and looked at him, and furrowed his brow in confusion.

"I love you, Richie. I love you. And fuck, I need you. And yes, in that "capital L" way. Tonight made me realize, I should of said things like this when I had the chance. You are MY purpose.", Eddie admitted I’m a rush, his cheeks blazing while he gripped the bed like a vice.

For a moment, Richie just stared, eyes wide and glossy.

Richie spoke so softly then that Eddie had to strain to hear him.

"Fuck, Eddie. I love you too...and I want to believe that...I really do...But after what happened tonight, I feel like you might say anything to give me 'proof' that this life is worth living".

Eddie bit his lip, and thought.

Proof?

Fine, Eddie would give him proof.

"Do you remember that summer when we were 13, after all that shit went down...the blood pact we made? You know more than anybody I can't stand any kind of germs or bodily fluids. But in that moment, it didn't matter. So I bit the bullet, and I cut my palm and mingled blood with you guys. Because we had something so important to promise and to prove." Richie looked up and nodded.

He looked like he had aged a year all in one night.

Eddie began again, "Well, I will prove what I said to you just now is true, just like 4 years ago." Eddie reached out and picked up Richie’s arm so gently, as if Richie would shatter at any moment.

He looked at the cut, which had stopped bleeding some time ago, but was still fresh and unscabbed.

Slowly, Eddie bent down and pressed his lips to the cut, making a point to linger.

Eddie pushed the raging neurotic thoughts aside, as he wiped the small spot of blood from his lip.

Richie stared, mouth hanging open in shock, but Eddie saw what he was hoping for in his eyes. Trust.

Richie didn't know if it was possible to fit any more adoration for this boy inside of him.

How lucky was he for the chance to love him this much?

Richie hugged Eddie to him hard, knocking the breath out of him.

"I believe you....I believe you.", he whispered into Eddie's ear.

Eddie pulled back and rested his forehead against his. Richie studied the face before him that he knew better than his own.

Too many emotions were trying to crowd into his heart at one time. But above the guilt, shame, and surprise, one shined brighter than the rest. Love. And it was so pure, brilliant, and blinding. It cleared away so much of the dark fog.

Richie found himself thinking that now he knew exactly why he had made it through the torment of that summer 4 years ago. And why tonight had ended the way it did. The 'nurturer' of the lucky 7, nurtured his heart in the special way no one else ever could, or would.

Eddie smiled at Richie, and slowly leaned in and pressed his lips to his. It was chaste, soft, and warm. It spoke volumes to both boys without saying a word.

"I'll kiss all of your wounds away, if you let me, Rich. I promise."

And for the first time in the longest time, Richie allowed himself to believe that.

#it #richie tozier #reddie #reddie fanfic #Eddie kaspbrak

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thedoodlezoo · 7 years

Text

Brownies (Michael x Heere!Reader)

A/N: Requested by anon!! Gender neutral, too. I realized a few of my works are gender neutral, I’m prolly gonna mark them next time I do my masterlist! Enjoy my first Michael oneshot :))

W/c: 1758 ———-

The Three Musketeers. The Golden Trio. The Three Amigos.

That was always you, your brother and Michael Mell, for as long as you could remember.

You guys had matching costumes every single year on Halloween, played Mario Kart every day after school, and camped out in the Heere backyard eating junk food whenever someone had a bad day. You were only a year younger, but they never treated you as such. Michael and Jeremy viewed you as an equal; they even let you be player one, once in a blue moon.

It was a dream come true.

Then they “grew up”. Jeremy started to dismiss you when Michael came over when he was 14. You still hung around for the occasional round of Apocalypse of the Damned or helped with a math problem every so often, but most days were spent at home while your brother got stoned in Michael’s basement.

Even so, your brother’s best friend still gave you butterflies when he made an appearance. ———–

“Dude… dude, do you smell that?” Michael inhaled again, taste buds watering and lips curling into a goofy smile.

“Oh, [name] is probably just making brownies. Does that when they’re nervous,” Jeremy shrugged, obviously used to it.

“Still? I haven’t seen them do that since we were in, like, seventh grade. Remember, before that big spelling bee?” Michael smiled at the memory. “I’ve never seen so much stress in such a small body,” he shook his head. “Old habits die hard, I guess,” Jeremy leaned to one side, eyes glued to the screen as his fingers glided across the controller. He didn’t have another word on the subject, and Michael dropped it while making a mental note to get some brownies at a later time.

After intensely playing (and flunking) level nine of Apocalypse of the Damned for what seemed to be the millionth time, Michael decided he needed to stretch his legs.

“I’m going upstairs. Need anything?” He tilted his head, rubbing his eyes.

“How about a healthy sleep schedule or motivation to complete mundane tasks?” Jeremy yawned, too tired to monitor his satire.

“Um, how about a Coke instead, buddy?” Michael offered his best friend with a chuckle. Jeremy was already curled up on his beanbag chair, drifting slowly into a state of sleep.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. That’ll suffice,” he mumbled with a sleepy grin.

The creek of the floorboards alerted you of somone’s presence as you took the brownies out of the oven.

“Well, look who finally came put of the basement! You want a- oh!” You smiled, putting the tray on the counter. “Hey, Michael,” you waved as he came next to you. He’d gotten taller since you last compared your heights, and his signature hoodie had more patches than you remembered.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” he chuckled lightly, leaning against the granite island in the center of the kitchen.

“Oh, no, I was just expecting Jeremy,” you shrugged. “You’re a pleasant suprise,” you nodded, meeting his eyes. The familiarity of them made you melt- they hadn’t aged a day since you first looked into them, and you loved them endlessly.

“So, why all the sweets?” Michael raised an eyebrow, shoving his hands in his pockets to resist touching the hot tray of goodies.

“Sophomore year,” you sigh. “It really takes a toll on ya,” you say dramatically with a giggle. Michael couldn’t help but smile.

“That’s what has your stomach in knots? It’s only September!” He scoffed, though he understood completely. High school is hell.

“I mean, yeah. Tenth grade? That’s like, double digits! There’s drama, too. Loads,” you insist.

“Don’t I know it,” Michael muttered, taking a chunk of brownie in his mouth.

“Relationship trouble, too. Seems as if the world is only turning if there’s trouble in that department,” you groan, and it got Michael’s attention.

“Is Mini Heere in a relationship? Does Jeremy know?” He teased, trying to keep jealousy from slipping into his voice.

“Nope, no relationship to tell about,” you sigh, taking your own brownie. “I guess that’s the problem,”

Michael bit his lip in thought.

“Ya know, you don’t have to be in a relationship. Dating is whack, anyway. Guy, gal, other, doesn’t matter. Being single isn’t all that bad. I mean, look at me!” He laughed a little, and you couldn’t help but join him. Michael was good like that- he also knew how to make you laugh.

“Do you remember how we ‘dated’, for like two days?” You nudged him gently. “Back when you and Jer were like, twelve?” You reminisced, cheeks pink.

“How could I forget? Jeremy wouldn’t look me in the eye for a whole thirty minutes,” Michael nodded. “and then we ended it two days later because I wouldn’t let you cut in front of me in the ice cream line at lunch,” he added.

Michael’s hand wandered to the tray the same time as yours, hands touching. His hand lingered, but he pulled it away hastily after the realization hit him. In all honesty, he was more afraid of making you uncomfortable than embarrassing himself.

“S-sorry,” you grab the tray and hand him the last brownie without making eye contact.

“It was an accident, don’t be silly. It’s no big deal,” Michael raised an eyebrow in confusion as he leaned against the counter.

“Right, why should it be?” You climbed up on the counter next to the sink, mindlessly rearranging the letters on the fridge.

“[Name]…what is it? I know you’re stressed and all, but my dude, I personally promise you that you’ll make it out of sophomore year alive. You’ve got the Michael Mell guarantee.” He grinned, accompanying the promise with two thumbs up.

“Its nothing, really,” you insisted with a giggle. “I’m worrying about things I don’t even need to worry about right now. Like, what if I say something dumb in class or make a fool of myself, and then no one will want to take me to prom, even though that’s a whole like two years away, they’ll-”

“If it means that much to you, I’ll go to prom with you,” Michael looked up at you, eyes full of sincerity. “I mean, you know, if you don’t have a date by that time.” He remedied.

“You would do that for me?” You leaned back a little.

“Of course I would, [name]. You’re part of the Dream Team. We always look out for one another,” he said.

“Thank you, Michael,” you hopped down from the counter and threw your arms around him. The boy reciprocated, lost in thought as various memories flooded his head.

Michael’s bedroom underwent many changes since then. The cheap fluorescent stars on the ceiling gradually fell off, the collage of pictures on the wall got bigger, and even the Spider-Man sheets on the bed took their leave eventually. You, Jeremy and Michael and been hanging out on that February afternoon, celebrating your science fair win with a game of Monopoly.

“M-Michael!” You were in a fit of giggles on the floor.

“Say it, [name]!” He tickled you mercilessly, and you fought to catch your breath.

“F-fine! You were right, the bottle rocket wasn’t l-lame!” You admitted, and he ceased tickling you.

“Was that so hard, dude?” Jeremy propped himself up on his elbows, rolling the dice.

“Shush, dorkface,” you stuck out your tongue. Your ten year-old self was glowing with pride at such a quip.

Jeremy stuck his tongue out in return, getting up with a groan.

“Two mixed berries and an apple juice?” He asked, earning a nod from you and Michael. With that, he went downstairs, leaving you and Michael in the silence.

“Mikey, is it true?” You turned to him, speaking in a hushed voice. “Did Jer seriously kiss someone? For real?” You were in shock, but admittedly impressed.

“They just, like, collided on the playground. He wasn’t looking where he was going, and CRASH! Right into Chloe Valentine. He swears they kissed then and there,” Michael shrugged.

“Hey, Mikey?” You looked at the floor, admiring his Batman socks.

“Yeah, [name]?” He smiled a toothy smile, sticking his tongue in the gap between his teeth out of habit.

“Have…have you ever kissed anyone?” You looked up, watching his expression change from bliss to immense thought.

“Nope,” Michael shrugged again, popping the ‘p’. It wasn’t really on his immediate to-do list.

“Do you wanna?” You scooched a bit closer.

“I mean, I guess. If someone were to offer,” he was trying to piece together where you were going with this.

“What if we kissed? Just for like, a second, just to know what it was like!” You suggested. You were curious, and were crazy for Michael Mell, and found it to be a win-win situation.

He nodded. “Yeah, I guess,” He didn’t really think romance at a young age was a necessary thing, and didn’t plan on his first kiss until he was maybe twenty at least, but he was curious. Was it really everything people made it out to be?

The two of you both shut your eyes painfully tight, leaning toward each other as your lips touched gently. It seemed to be over before it even started, both of you pulling back immediately after making contact with the other.

Michael’s hands brushed against his lip as you returned to your spot on the carpet.

“Juice boxes, anyone?” Jeremy held them up aa he came through the door, oblivious to the silence.

Michael felt a tap, and he was ripped from his train of thought.

“You okay?” You raised an eyebrow, looking up at him with your arms still around him.

“Hm? Oh, yeah.” He nodded. “[Name]? Can I, like, kiss you?” Michael looked down at you, taking your face in his hands.

“Go for it,” you tried to sound casual, but to no avail.

Michael pressed his lips to yours, smiling gently. It was a rollercoaster compared to your first. His lips were rougher, more eager for you. You felt… wanted.

You felt your face heating up as your hands ran through his hair, and his hands made his way to your waist.

Both of your eyes flew open as you heard the fizzle of a soda can, and the two of you flew apart to see Jeremy sipping his Coke with a smitten face.

“Dad owes me twenty bucks,” your brother closed the fridge, going back downstairs without another word.

#michael mell #be more chill #bmc #bmc imagine #michael x reader #bmc x reader #be more chill x reader #be more chill imagine

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secretagentspydetectiveninja · 7 years

Text

The Misadventures of Prince Kim (royalty AU)

Future rulers from all over the world attend the Françoise Dupont Academy for Royalty and Nobility, and unfortunately for Prince Kim of the kingdom of Lê Chiến, he soon realizes that his reckless personality makes being a good prince very difficult for him indeed.

[Chapter 1] [AO3]

Chapter Two

The next morning the students were given an introductory assembly by the headteacher, Duke Damocles, in a large pristine hall that had portraits of notable previous students covering the walls. The royalty were seated separately from the nobility, who far outnumbered them. The difference in rank was clearly visible – the royalty were all dressed in much more formal and intricate attire, whereas the nobles mostly were wearing more simple outfits.

Each student was handed out a timetable and a calendar that displayed all the events that would be happening at the school that year. The timetable was filled with the usual subjects, such as literature, sports and the sciences, but also had subjects like economics, world kingdom study, politics, court manners and trade/production. The calendar showed that over the next few months there would be a sports day, an autumn ball, an “oracle session”, and a winter party.

“Dude, do you know what an oracle session is?” Kim whispered to Max.

“No idea, sorry. I suppose we’ll find out soon.”

Sure enough, during the overly long and somewhat boring welcome speech, Duke Damocles did explain what the oracle session meant. “Here at this academy we are honoured to be able to host the annual oracle session, an event conducted by the esteemed oracle Master Fu specifically for the royal class. Master Fu has a unique ability to be able to see into the future, so in November each of you will have a private discussion with him and have the opportunity to ask him one question about the future. It has to be something to do with either you or your kingdom, so do not ask a question about anyone else, and he cannot answer questions with very subjective answers, so do not ask him questions about personal feelings such as “will I be happy”. Be aware that you may not like the answer you hear, so think twice before you ask something like “what age will I live to”. As this event takes place every year in November, you will have three chances during your time at this academy to ask a question. It would be wise to start thinking about this sooner rather than later, as the answers you seek may be the key to having a stable rule or advancing your kingdom.”

After the assembly, the students were sent to their first class. The nobles were numerous enough to have several classes per year group, but the royals of the 15-16 age group were all in one class together, since there were only 14 of them in total. Their classroom was incredibly ornate, with table cloths artistically draped over the desks and cushions on the seats. Once everyone was seated, their class teacher Lady Caline introduced herself, then invited the students to make their own introductions to each other and say a little about each of their kingdoms.

“I’ll go first,” Chloé immediately said. She stood up, having to be very careful since her overly wide skirt was keeping her lodged rather firmly between the seat and the desk. She straightened her wig and cleared her throat, then said, “I am Imperial Princess Chloé, heir apparent to the Bourgeois Empire, as you already know since you’re all here. You will address me as “Your Imperial Highness” at all times, and don’t speak to me without permission. I believe I have met most of you before at various events and such, though I don’t remember exactly since I rarely associate with people outside my rank. My father, Emperor André, attended this very school himself when he was my age. The Bourgeois Empire is the largest in the world and one of the wealthiest too, and I plan to keep it that way.” Looking around, she added more quietly, “I see that Imperial Prince Adrien isn’t here yet. Maybe he was delayed. But he’s my best friend and also heir to an empire rather than just a measly kingdom, so when he arrives don’t speak to him without permission either, alright?” She sat down again, haughty as ever.

After Chloé, the class took turns to introduce themselves to everyone else. Some, like the mysterious Princess Juleka or quiet Prince Nathaniel, didn’t have much to say at all and didn’t say anything about their kingdoms. Some, like the bubbly Princess Rose, gushed at length about how excited they were to be here and how much they were looking forward to making new friends. Kim realized he hadn’t heard of half these kingdoms before – Césaire? Kurtzberg?? Raincomprix??? Where on earth were those places? Probably small or unimportant, otherwise he would know about them, wouldn’t he?

Alix for some reason had decided it was a good idea to bring her pet snake to class, and Kim noticed that he wasn’t the only one who seemed wary of it. “This is my extremely venomous queen cobra,” she said after having introduced herself and her kingdom, showing off the snake that was wrapped around her arm. “His name is Kim, and don’t worry, he won’t bite… unless I ask him to…”

Before even waiting for her to sit down, Kim the human stood up and said, “My name is also Kim, but I am definitely way cooler than that snake!” He felt Max poke him in the side, warning him to stop being a troublemaker. Kim took a deep breath and continued properly. “I’m from the kingdom of Lê Chiến, it’s very far away but it’s a really big country and we’re well known for our athletic lifestyle… and… yeah…”

It suddenly occurred to him that he didn’t really know all that much about his own kingdom. He had spent most of his life within various palaces and occasionally travelling to other countries for events, and hadn’t exactly seen much of Lê Chiến properly. He’d never got the chance to. What else was he even supposed to say about his kingdom? Bragging was usually easy for him, but he suddenly felt out of his depth. He sat down rather quickly and let Max speak, going on and on about the Kanté Kingdom and how it had a high HDI and GDP at PPP and various other weird acronyms that he didn’t know the meaning of. To be fair, he doubted that anyone else in the class could understand what Max was saying either, judging by the glazed expressions on everyone’s faces.

After the lesson they were taken to the giant dining hall to have a rather sumptuous lunch, followed by a long afternoon break. Kim and Max aimlessly wandered around the main courtyard, chatting to each other. The nobles were allowed to access this area too and many of them were here exploring, staring in awe when they recognized a member of royalty but not wanting to say anything.

“So Mylène is in our class after all,” Kim said. “I wonder if Ivan’s finally going to tell her he likes her. He probably won’t, though, he’s such a wimp.”

“He might just be nervous, Kim,” Max said. “It’s not easy to confess to someone that you like them.”

“Yeah it is!”

Max chuckled. “Are you willing to prove that?”

“You bet I am. Chloé’s in our class, right? I’ve liked her for ages – I met her at that big banquet thing she had when she turned 13. I could totally ask her out.”

“Um… are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Of course it is! Hey, imagine if I end up betrothed to her? I’d get to be a freaking Imperial Prince!”

“An Imperial Prince-Consort, Kim,” Max muttered, absent-mindedly pushing his glasses up his nose from where they were slowly sliding down. “Not quite the same thing. And she’d have to agree, and anyway you can’t just get betrothed to someone that quickly, you’d have to court her first, and then–”

“Yeah whatever, I can totally do that. And I’ll prove to Ivan that he’s being a wimp. You’ll help me, right?”

Max sighed, trying not to let his disappointment show on his face. Out of all people Kim could be interested in, it was Chloé? Really? Well, never mind. It wasn’t like you could help who you fell in love with. Max knew that too well. “Fine, I’ll help you.”

“Awesome! What do I do first?”

“Well, since her family seem to be big on tradition and convention, you should probably get her a courting gift. Something like jewellery would be ideal.”

“Jewellery, hmm... they’d have jewellery at the merchant square, right? I saw that thing on the map. Apparently they sell cool stuff there. We should go buy some jewellery now.”

“What, right now?”

“Yeah, why not!”

Kim had already turned around and started heading towards the merchant square, leaving Max to quickly catch up. He had forgotten how speedy and impulsive Kim was, always on the go, never stopping for an instant. Of course Kim would want to court Chloé on the very first day of school. That was just the way Kim worked. It was completely ridiculous. Probably annoying to most people, too. For Max, though… he just found it endearing.

The merchant square was a vast indoor courtyard filled with various tents selling all kinds of things imaginable. Max wondered how such a thing could be profitable when the only people here able to spend money were the students and staff, as opposed to the population of a town or city, but quickly remembered that everyone here would be wealthy enough to spend plenty of money, keeping the merchants in business.

Kim and Max walked around looking for somewhere to buy jewellery, and they came across Marinette and one of the other students in their class, someone who neither of them had met before: Princess Alya of the Césaire Kingdom.

“Hi Kim!” Marinette said, waving and rushing over to meet him. “I’m so happy to see you here, and in my class and everything!” She turned to Max and quickly curtseyed. “Nice to meet you, Your Highness – Max, was it?”

“Yes, nice to meet you too,” Max said, to both Marinette and Alya.

“And have you met Alya? I made friends with her yesterday, she’s really lovely!”

“So are you,” Alya said, nudging Marinette in the arm. “And yeah, I hadn’t even met anyone here before because my kingdom’s so far away from everywhere else, but it’s really cool to be here.”

“And by the way, you all have to try the food from Césaire! I tried some last night and it’s amazing! Anyway Kim, what are you doing here? Are you exploring too?”

“We’re on a mission,” Kim said, lowering his voice. “I’m buying a courting gift for someone, I can’t tell you who, but I need to find something nice. Preferably jewellery.”

Marinette squealed, jumping up and down on her toes. “Kim, that’s so exciting! I can totally help you out with that! Me and Alya just passed by this stall with some really lovely jewellery! Follow me, I’ll show you!”

Marinette led them to a stall somewhere in the middle of the bustling market, and sure enough there was plenty of jewellery for sale – earrings, necklaces, bracelets, rings…

“How about a brooch?” Max said, picking up a small blue heart-shaped one from the display and handing it to him. “I know that the girl you like does indeed have an affinity for brooches.”

Kim’s eyes lit up looking at it. “It’s perfect, Max! Thanks! There’s no way I can go wrong with this. I mean, asking girls out is kinda like football, right? You need a strategy and then you aim for the goal and you score!”

“Nice metaphor, Kim!”

“I met a what?”

Marinette and Alya peered over to look at the brooch, both grinning widely.

“It’s amazing!” Marinette said. “She’ll totally love it, Kim! You should definitely go for it!”

“Good luck!” Alya said, giving him a double thumbs up.

“Thanks!” Kim said, and quickly pulled out some money and gave it to the merchant, who placed the jewel into a pretty heart-shaped box and then handed it back. “Come on Max, let’s go give it to her now!”

He took Max by the arm and started walking quickly in the direction of the dorms, and Max had to walk considerably more quickly to match Kim’s long strides. He seriously hoped that Chloé would accept Kim’s gift – after all, from what Max knew of her, she didn’t seem to be the nicest person, so if she rejected Kim then it probably would not be done gently. But since she already knew Kim then perhaps that would make her more partial to him… He just didn’t want Kim to get hurt. Kim didn’t deserve that. And anyway, Max couldn’t help thinking that Chloé was lucky to have a guy like Kim asking her out. If Max was in her position, he would definitely say yes!

Well, objectively speaking, of course… and anyway, he wasn’t Chloé, so it wasn’t like that was relevant at all… Kim was his friend, and Max was content to be his “wingman”, as the commoners were calling it these days. If Kim was happy, he was happy too. That was all that mattered for now.

#rip mobile tumblr users but anyway #royalty au #miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic #le chien kim #max kante #random stuff #the misadventures of prince kim #okay this chapter is literally just the dark cupid episode hehe #i took the 'metaphor' line straight out of the show itself it cracks me up every time #anyway i love kim and he's my son #aish writes

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yuzivert · 6 years

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Christian: Business Man w Blood On His Hands.

SBS Interviewer: So introduce yourself.

( ` christian cleared his throat and adjusted himself in the hot seat. the words he practiced over and over again on his way here today seemed to skip him all at once, but maybe it was for the good )

- I’m Christian Yu, but most people know me as Yuzi. I’m the creator and founder of DPR, which is a small company where I make music videos.

Interviewer: As I’ve researched, DPR is a newer company, isn’t that right? Congratulations, by the way. Could you tell us where your nickname, Yuzi, came from?

( ` he nodded in perfect timing to her questions, even silently mouthing thank you as she showed her gratitude. a small grin crept up on the corner of his lip at the flooding memory of how his nickname came to be )

- Mm.. In middle school, I went by my second name, Barom/Rome. I dropped it when I moved to New York. One day, an ex of mine jokingly called me Lil Yuzi Vert and it just stuck. So now I go by Yuzi. I liked it and I’m a fan of Lil Uzi so I found it fitting.

Interviewer: Similar to Uzi, you just dropped a SoundCloud track called, “Fatal Attraction”, about your recent heartbreak. You also deleted it after 24 hours. Why was that?

( ` christian never really tied the similarities together. however, it was now sitting on him heavily. speaking about his past was always something hard for him, but now was the time to lay it all out )

- I deleted it because I felt like I just needed to get what I was feeling off my chest. I just wanted everything out there so I could let go of the anger that I had against her, yknow? I didn’t put it up there for her to hear it, but it was for people to relate to.

Interviewer: Are you going to put put another one? Or at least put this one back up?

- Nah, music isn’t really my thing. It was just something I had written and wanted to get off my chest. I couldn’t sell the song to anyone because it was too personal. I think I’ll just stay focused on the music videos.

Interviewer: I see. So, there was recent news about a incident that took place in America. The media has a bunch of different stories out about you right now. Could you clear the air and tell us what really happened?

( ` at that very moment everything in the room became so suffocatingly silent for christian. the night playing over and over again his head as he sat with his eyes glued to the floor. it took him a while to gather himself before he could begin to respond. he scratched his head and shrugged, finally ready to tell the uncensored truth )

- Ah, damn. Can I tell the full story here? From the jump to the landing? Alright so, when I was 16 I joined a gang. I had been in New York for quite some time before all this happened. It wasn’t supposed to go down the way it did.

- I met this guy, Dom, at school. He and I were like brothers for the first two years after high school. The summer of 2012, I’m fresh in my 20s cuz it’s my birthday, right. My boy says we’re gonna do something big and celebrate my 21st birthday. The night starts off with girls and alcohol all over the place. People start pouring into my apartment all at once with their own bottles and whatever. My buddy had been hooking up with this dudes girlfriend, right? It had been going on for a while year before it escalated to that night.

- It’s around 2 in the morning. The party is still going. I’m hanging out with some girls by the pool downstairs when Dom calls me. I could tell he was angry by the bass in his voice, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying. I got the gist that he wanted me to come back upstairs and help him with something. I’m not thinking too much about it, right? I’m chilling and enjoying my birthday, yknow?

- I get upstairs and my apartment is a mess. Cups spilled, tables flipped, girls drunk and passed out on my couch. Dude calls me into his room, right? So I’m walking down the hall and as I’m walking.. I start to notice the blood on the carpets and on the wall. I look into the living room and there’s a big ass hole in my wall. He pulls me into a room. I’m asking him like, “what’s good? you good? what’s going on?” but he’s still mad and going off. Finally he hands me this bag and.. let me just say.. this bag was heavy as shit.

( ` he sighed, rubbing his sweaty palms off on his jeans )

- I had never seen a gun before in real life, so when I took it out of the bag I didn’t know what to think. It was a bunch of confusion at first cuz everything was good before I went to the pool. I guess that girls boyfriend ran up in the party and started fighting. My guys against theirs. Most of the party took off, except the ones who were too drunk to move off the couch. It got out of control and the guys said they would come back for him and that they had something waiting for him.

- Keep it real, It was something out of a movie honestly. I didn’t know what to do or say, but I knew I trusted him because he was the only friend I had made. He took me into his home and showed me how to live on my own in a big city. Now he was teaching me how to survive.

- I took the gun and tucked it away without hesitation. I knew what I had to do to protect my brother. We didn’t even have time to throw proper clothes on before they came back into my apartment causing commotion in the kitchen. Dom ran out first and started shooting…

- It was loud then it got real silent.

- You could smell the powder everywhere.

- I’m still sitting there with this big ass gun in my hand. Practically shitting bricks now. I didn’t hear anything from anybody for a minute and I sure as hell wasnt about to go investigate that shit all by myself, but I couldn’t hear Dom anymore so I knew that I had to.

( ` the cameras cut just as he choked up. he requested brief intermission to collect this thoughts and calm down. with his eyes his eyes brimming with tears, he took a deep breath and began to speak again )

- I make it to the hallway and see two bodies laying in the middle of my living room. I didn’t assume either body was Dom until I started calling out for him and I didn’t get a reply. Once he didn’t answer me, I already knew what happened.

- He was dead and I was standing there with a gun in my hand and dead bodies all around me. I didn’t know what to do. My adrenaline was going so fast that I pacing back and forth. A dude came out of my kitchen, but he was from the opposing side. Like I said, my adrenaline was crazy fast, yknow? I shot him. I actually shot him twice because I was afraid that he would wake up and try to kill me.

- I called my mom back in Australia to tell her what happened and she told me to call the cops. At first, I took my time hiding all the weapons and drugs I had around the apartment. I flushed a bunch of shit down the toilets, threw most of the stuff away in dumpsters across the way. I didn’t know if what I was doing was illegal, but I thought I would go to jail anyway so it wouldn’t matter.

- The shit was crazy. It was like a movie. One of those First 48 episodes I used to watch as a kid.

- It was ruled a home invasion homicide since they came into my house. The DA dropped charges and I was free to go.

Interviewer: Let’s run back to how your apartment was full of drugs and guns? How did you manage to acquire so much?

- My boy, Dom was heavily into that gang life. I wasn’t, but he was. The last two years of his life were spent selling drugs and doing all kinds of crime.

- But like I said, it wasn’t supposed to go down like that. I told him to stop messing with that girl when we were in high school, but I guess he loved her.

Interviewer: Is his death the main reason you’ve moved to Korea?

- Well, obviously. He was all I had in New York. Once I lost that, I quickly realized that lifestyle wasn’t for me anymore.

Interviewer: What changes have you noticed in yourself since his death?

- I’ont know. I just know I’m doing better out here than I was out there. I can’t be the same person I was a few years ago. I have a kid now. I gotta show him what life is really about, yknow? His mom keeps him out of trouble. He’s only two, but I’m going to raise him up the way my father should have raised me.

Interviewer: Can we talk more about that? I saw a comment that your mom left under your recent Instagram update. What’s the relationship with your parents?

- My mom, I call her LJ. It’s short for Lady Jane. she’s my world. The typical tiger mom, but she loved me with everything she had. As for my father? Ain’t much to talk about. He left my mom when I was 14 and I haven’t seen him since.

Interviewer: Ahh… Yuzi, you’ve come quite a long way. I hope you keep this promise to yourself and to your son. As always, it’s been a pleasure talking with you. Do you have any last words or advice for viewers?

- I will, thank you.

- Last words? Uh, don’t wear a white sweatshirt to a gun fight.

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