#but it occured to me that i lie about a bunch of stupid shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

servin-up-surveys · 2 years

Text

survey #079

Do you enjoy Tim Burton films? Which one is your favourite? Oh, I absolutely do. I really enjoy his remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and I also have a deep fondness for Corpse Bride. His version of Alice in Wonderland is also fantastic. How many siblings does your significant other have? He has one older sister. Have you ever done three or more shots in a row? I've never taken shots and am not really interested in doing so because I HATE the taste of alcohol. Do you use Twitter? No. Last person to make you seriously mad? Sara. Not even gonna get fuckin started.

As kids, were there any toys that you & your sibling(s) used to fight over? Uhhh, possibly? I mean realistically there probably is SOMETHING, but tbh I was generally into things/toys my sisters weren't so I don't think they really messed with them. As a kid, did you own any items of clothing with a Disney character on them? Oh, certainly. I especially had a whole lot of Finding Nemo stuff. What would you say is your favorite television show? Of all-time, Meerkat Manor, but I am currently most actively interested in/watching Extraordinary Attorney Woo. Do you enjoy big holiday dinners? Quite honestly? No. Those only ever occur when we're with Ashley's family/in-laws, who are a bunch of horrifically conservative hicks quite frankly, and I get really uncomfortable when they do the group prayer before eating (I just close my eyes and dip my head to not feel like a sore thumb), they take ANY get-together as a chance to ramble about how Covid is a government scheme among other political fucking nonsense, and people always ask why I pretty much always barely eat anything at all, especially without fail on Thanksgiving. They're just uncomfortable. Is there any piece of jewelry you're constantly wearing? My lip ring, tragus stud, and the "keep (fucking) going" ring from my mom. Would you say you hate anyone? Quite honestly, yes. If you have the fucking audacity to believe my trauma is invalid and just a lie as a whole, FUCK you and I have ZERO fucking respect for you. That is the rudest fucking thing you could EVER do to me. Do you think freckles are cute? Oh, absolutely. Have you been to Red Lobster before? Yep. Their biscuits are fucking heavenly. Who is your role model, if you had to choose? Markiplier. Do you believe in any particular curses? Nope. Have you ever taken a keyboarding class? Yeah; I want to say two semesters were mandatory in middle school. Favorite high school teacher: Coach Collie. Not a gym teacher, despite his title; he taught English, but was also theeeee... baseball coach, I think? I know he taught some sport and just preferred that title. I still have him on my Facebook, even though I KNOW I disappoint that man with the shit I share and all the cursing I do lmao Would you say you think you have a mental disorder of some kind? I am very, fully aware I deal with multiple. I've been diagnosed with SO much over time though and have been told and very much agree it's unlikely I have ALL that I've been told I do, just so much stuff overlaps that I barely know what to call what anymore. I just know I have depression, an unstable mood, extreme sensitivity to judgment, and I'm an anxious mess that worries about anything and everything. Are you normally an independent person? No, quite frankly. Another problem I have is EXTREME dependency. I need my hand held with so many fucking things that it's just straight-up embarrassing. I get overwhelmed absurdly easily and sincerely struggle making sense of things by myself and just feel very stupid a lot. From the bottom of my heart I truly believe the fucking monsoon of different medications I've been on since the 6th grade has taken an awful toll on my brain's overall health and ESPECIALLY my memory, which also greatly affects my ability to do shit on my own. Have you ever failed a class before? I failed algebra during my last attempt at college, and I know I also failed some courses on my second try/online endeavor at college, but I don't remember which. What's the meanest thing someone's called you? I sure did appreciate being called a spineless, weak-willed deadweight by Sara. That was cool. Even cooler than being called a martyr by Briar. Have you ever seen a tornado in person? No and I never, EVER, want to. I would fucking shit myself and I'm not even fucking kidding about that. Probably die on the scene from a goddamn heart attack. I don't fuck around with how much I am petrified of tornadoes. Has anyone made you mad today? I still feel residual anger over stuff relating to Sara from a few days ago, but it's easing up at least... Ever been obsessed with a show? Oh, absolutely Meerkat Manor. Do you remember how old you were, when you first began to use swearwords? However old I was in the 7th grade. Does anyone in your life use terms of endearment a lot when talking to you? Primarily Girt. Mom does too sometimes. What is an essential product that, in your opinion costs more than it should? Feminine hygiene products. Can you recall the last movie/TV show that made you cry? I cried the last time Girt and I watched Extraordinary Attorney Woo. The episode ended super beautifully and emotionally and I just couldn't handle it, haha. Do you remember the last occasion when you were out and about and “bumped into” someone you knew? Were you glad to see them? Uhhhhh... I honestly can't. What does your mother do for work? If she’s a homemaker, any specific reason for this? She is on disability due to her cancer. She does do some cleaning at a church for a small pay, but not enough to disqualify her from disability. It breaks her heart really, she got cancer RIGHT before she would've started interning as a social worker. She's pretty sure that dream just isn't obtainable anymore. Her cancer is GOING to come back at some point, anyway... I just feel so bad for my mom and how she never, ever, got to be/do the things she wanted. What about your father? What does he do? He's been a mailman literally for as long as I've been alive, I think. If you have a Facebook, what do you use it for? Honestly? Memes lmfao. When was the last time you did clay work/pottery? Not since high school when I made an anatomically correct heart for Jason. Would you rather be a model, famous scientist, singer, or chef? A scientist. Does making others happy really make you feel happy? Absolutely. Do you know a Jack? What’s he like? Sara has a brother named Jack. Regardless of having absolutely no fucking respect for her, I respect her brother's privacy and am kinda just uncomfortable sharing details about him. When you have children, would you like twins? If I wanted to have kids, I would DREAD having twins. I'd lose my fucking mind. Do you know any twins? If so, what are they called? I went to school with a Tyler and Taylor. I also know a woman who has had twin daughters, but idr their names. What personality trait does nearly everyone in your family seem to have? I'd say we're all pretty damn hard-headed. Would you ever live with any of your friends? Not at this point in my life, no. I'm probably only ever moving out when my partner and I are ready for that. Already kinda allude to it happening. What is your favorite kind of chocolate? Milk chocolate, esp with peanut butter or caramel filling. What was your first alcoholic beverage? A hard lemonade. Has a rumor even been spread about you? Yep, even though it was very obviously illogical. Marriage in your future? Probably, it's something we reference for future things, and our relationship is super healthy with no signs of it ending. How did you get your last bruise? Getting my last B-12 shot a few days ago. Which, by the way, has proven pretty fucking ineffective as I've lost solely water weight and no actual fat mass (we know from a scale they use that apparently costed thousands of dollars). I won't be getting them anymore because it's a very expensive program, and my body clearly isn't responding to it, so... what else is new. Are your parents married or divorced? Divorced as fuuuuuck. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? Yeah, that's honestly the part I prefer. How long was your longest drive in a car? At least 10 hours, but probably closer to 11. Maybe even 12, if my memory is really that bad. What was the name of the main character in the last book you read? Winter. Is your dad a jerk? I mean, he's honestly capable of being one. He doesn't sugar-coat anything whatsoever and is definitely capable of being rude when it's totally unnecessary. My dad is... weird, though, like I really don't think he realizes when he's being an ass. I don't think he as a whole is a real jerk, though. He's more than anything a very talkative, rambly but clueless old man who doesn't realize when he's being too much. Is anyone in your family currently in the military? No. What was the last thing you bought at the dollar store? A snack, I think. I wanna say peach rings. Do you own a bikini? Hell no, absolutely nobody wants to see me in a bikini. Does your town have a horse and carriage company? No. What was the name of the person who bullied you the most in high school? I'm very grateful that I was never bullied. Who was the last person you remember hanging up on you? I don't really know if anyone HAS properly hung up on me. The closest thing to that that's ever happened to me was when I called my WoW main's GM a bigot and he kicked me out of the voice chat and the guild, lmao. That man was fucking crazy, though I really can't remember what happened. This was years upon years ago, when I "lived" in the apartment w/ Jason. What was the last fast food restaurant that you ate at? What did you get? Uh it was Bojangle's a few days back. I had what's called a chicken supreme dinner there, which is five chicken tenders, fries, and a biscuit. List five movies that you hear are good, but that you have never seen. The Harry Potter series of course (which I nowadays refuse to watch because I am fucking not funding a terf that finds comfort in her fucking paycheck), The Blindside, Juno, Lord of the Rings series, and uh The Fault in Our Stars. How many continents have you been to, and which ones? I've never left North America. I want to, though... I wanna travel so bad. How many continents has your best friend been to, and which ones? I'm quite sure he hasn't left NA, either. How many continents has your dad been to, and which ones? I can pretty much guarantee he hasn't left America, either. That’s enough questions about continents. Anyways, do you like Iron Maiden? I sure do, they're a good band. What’s a place you have a strong emotional connection to? The little pond area behind the local community college... it's where I took my first prom pictures. I don't like seeing that place, doing so has even made me by itself have a total emotional breakdown. I haven't seen this place in years. Who was the last relative you visited? My grandma and uncle. Have you ever made any money from a side-hustle? I've taken pictures for people and have been paid for it, so I guess. Do you ever wonder what kind of person you’d have turned out to be if a certain event never happened to you? Oh, I ABSOLUTELY wonder who I would be if Jason never left. It's wild, I actually feel like I'd be a worse person... Is there anything you’d like to say to your last ex? Oh, there's PLENTY, but it's better that I never do. Where did you buy your dishes from? I have no idea, we've had the same pretty porcelain (I uh, think?) plates for literally as long as I can remember. Have you ever been a victim of a crime? Well, I'd say a gang attempting to break into our house, even though they failed, is definitely a crime... At this same house, we also had our basketball goal stolen. Aaaand again the same house, it's been egged and that's considered vandalism. That neighborhood was such incredible shit. Do you ever take intentional breaks from checking/posting on social media? I've taken a break from Facebook at least once, but I don't usually do this, even though I probably should more often... Who was Van Halen’s better singer - David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar? David is an absolute pompous dickbag, BUT I enjoy him more as a singer. Which fictional character has the most memorable quotes? Um, idk. Tbh I'm super bad at remembering quotes, so. Have you ever been to either of your parents’ workplaces? I seem to remember going inside the post office (where Dad works) as a very young kid. I used to go with my mom occasionally to the church she cleans at, but I'd always just bring my computer and also play Pokemon GO because the church was a gym, ha ha. Do you have any relatives who live on a different continent than you? Not that I know of. How did you and your significant other celebrate your last anniversary? We actually didn't, because I had fucking Covid. Wasn't happy about it, but I wasn't getting him sick after he JUST got over Covid himself. Do you have a good sense of direction? ABSOLUTLEY not. What’s the weirdest, rudest, or most ridiculous thing a guest has ever done in your home? I can't say I'm sure. Who was the recipient of your very first kiss? Jason. Do you prefer shrimp or crab? SHRIMP. Crab is just so mushy and in general atrocious. What was the last thing you watched on YouTube? I'm currently watching jacksepticeye play The Quarry. Do you know anyone who had a kid before they were financially stable? Who doesn't, let's be real. What’s your phone’s wallpaper picture? Lock screen, Richard Kruspe. Home screen, this neon green spooky pattern against black. When was the last time you saw the person you had your first kiss with? The start of February, 2017. Why did you move to where you’re living now? Because the woman who owned this house before was in the hospital dying and pretty much her dying wish was for her friend (also our friend) to have the house and give it to me and my mom (she knew us) because we were technically homeless. I'm so far beyond grateful to have a roof over my head, but god knows Mom and I hate it here. It's not home. What’s your opinion on wearing pajamas in public? Do you yourself do that? I literally do not give a shit. Even I do it. Not EVERYWHERE of course, but I definitely do it. What was the most severe punishment your parents gave you when you were growing up? My mom was a spanker when my sisters and I were kids, and sometimes they were too aggressive. I remember her leaving a clear handprint on my arm once. Since having grandkids though, she's grown very much against it. Have you ever been to California? I have not. What’s something you’re really bad at compared to others? Honestly, a whole lot. I can't remember jackshit, I can't give or understand directions (ties into not being able to remember even street names I see regularly), I am astonishingly inept socially, and I could go on for fifteen minutes at least. Do you know anyone who treats retail/restaurant employees poorly? That was fucking Colleen on a daily goddamn routine, it felt like. Y'all have NO fucking idea how many times I've been present while this witch was demanding to talk to a manager on the phone over NOTHING. I've also been with my dad before when he was being a difficult ass to the computer repair people. Are most of the books you own hardcover or paperback? Paperbacks, by far. Cheaper. What was the topic of conversation the last time you spoke to a sibling? I texted Ashley a day or two ago asking her to show Aubree this picture of a really cool balloon animal unicorn I saw online. She LOVES unicorns. What was the last caffeinated drink you had? Do you drink this often? By pure coincidence I have a Mountain Dew Voltage now, but I'm super relieved that I barely ever drink soda anymore, like it's just a rare treat. Flavored sparkling water has saved my fucking ass.

#survey #surveys #random questions #random surveys

0 notes

senstia · 4 years

Text

~That one time when Andrew thought Neil cheated and it caused a bunch of unnecessary emotional distress~

*andreil

*angst with a happy ending

“A-Andrew?”

“Just go Neil.”

“I don’t understand. This is just over for good? After all this time?” Neil said, his voice breaking.

“This was never anything. And now it’s done. Get away from me.”

Andrew couldn’t bear to look at Neil for another second. His heart felt like it was in a vice grip and it was about to shatter into a million pieces. He’d never felt this level of pain before. And the one person he thought he could trust... No. He was done. Neil chose to cheat on him. Neil ended this. He had no right to look so heartbroken. He had no right to have tears streaming down his scarred cheeks. Andrew stormed out of the dorm before he hit Neil. Or took back every word he had just said. He couldn’t handle another second looking at those blue eyes. He couldn’t handle the way it felt like he’d lost a part of his soul.

Neil’s mind was a kaleidoscope of memories blinding him by the second. He couldn’t help but go over everything that had happened in the past month, trying to figure out where he went wrong. Trying to figure out why Andrew had shattered his heart and left him with no warning. He came up empty. They had had no fights, no arguments, nothing of consequence had occurred. He’d been blindsided. And now it felt like he was drowning and there was no way to the surface. To live without Andrew by his side. He would never see those hazel eyes sparkle again. He would never get to feel Andrew’s lips on his skin again. He would never get to have a lazy weekend with Andrew again. He couldn’t bear it, didn’t know how he would be able to survive this. Maybe it would be easier if he knew the reason, but Andrew gave no explanation. He was just done. He knew he would be haunted by this forever. Knew the loss of Andrew would be a scar that never faded. The pain was excruciating.

And there was nothing Neil could do but try to survive without his heart, for it would always belong to Andrew.

It was a Saturday night when Andrew had felt his world shatter before his eyes. He had been going to see his stupid junkie. Because he missed him. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Of course Andrew had assumed Neil would be alone. The first sign was the thong thrown haphazardly on the floor in the living room, and then the bra following soon after. Andrew had felt nausea roil in his gut at the sight. He knew for a fact no one else was here but Neil. No one else had been staying in the dorm for the past few days, all busy with different plans. And as he had walked closer to the closed door he heard a girlish voice, followed by Neil’s carefree laugh.

“Neil stop it,” the girl said playfully, giggling.

“Okay, okay,” he laughed.

“Damn Neil, you’re insanely sexy. This is perfect!” The girl exclaimed.

Neil giggled softly and Andrew could easily imagine the blush on Neil’s cheeks at the compliment.

“Do you have condoms?” The girl asked playfully.

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry,” Neil said.

That was the point of the conversation when Andrew couldn’t stand to listen anymore. The familiar feeling of betrayal ripped through him like wildfire, surprising in its intensity. Neil didn’t want him anymore. Neil had chosen someone else, someone better.

His instinct was to go up to the roof, but he couldn’t bare it anymore. The roof was drowned in memories of Neil. He couldn’t go up there without feeling the echo of Neil’s lips on his skin.

So he started driving. He drove until he buried the heartbreak as far down as he could. Until he felt only numbness. He wiped away the few tears that had managed to escape him. And then he came back and Neil was alone again. He couldn’t bare to ask. Couldn’t bare to hear Neil either lie or confess. He just ended it. Ripped off the bandage. And then it was gone. This light in the darkness. Andrew had been in darkness his whole life, just surviving. And then Neil had come along and it was like he could finally see again, as much as he didn’t want to. And now the light was gone. The universe had proved him right once again. There was nothing good for him here. Neil was and had always been, a pipe dream, and Andrew had finally woken up. It was more painful than he had expected it to be. The pain would linger, he knew. He would never be able to escape it. Because part of his soul was missing now, shredded apart, taken by Neil’s scarred hands and ice blue eyes and silver tongue.

It was movie night with the foxes. It had been two days since Andrew and Neil’s breakup and none of the foxes knew. Neil felt nauseous at the thought of having to tell the foxes, of having to be in the same room as Andrew again. He hadn’t seen him since that day. He didn’t want to cry again. For two days he had dreamt of Andrew. Andrew next to him, Andrew loving him, and both times he had woken up to remember the truth. It shattered him every time. He hadn’t expected to cry. But the tears flowed and overflowed and never stopped. Just the thought of Andrew made his throat tighten painfully.

Andrew knew he looked like shit. He hadn’t slept one minute the past two days. He hadn’t been able to smoke either, it reminded him too much of Neil. The nicotine withdraw mixed with his grief caused headaches, lack of appetite, nausea. He had already vomited his guts up twice today. He had told Bee what happened, but her advice had just sounded like ringing in his ears, faraway, insignificant. He was drifting off to sea and there was no one to pull him back. And now he had to see him. He had to sit in the same goddamn room as Neil for hours, pretending to care about movie night, pretending to be some form of a capable human being. It was going to be agony to be at a party when he felt like an open wound, raw and bleeding out.

Neil wasn’t there yet when he got in. Andrew dragged his tired body to a beanbag and plopped down, not acknowledging anyone. Normally, he would have stopped to get ice cream first, but he knew he would vomit if he so much as smelled it. Normally he’d be sitting with Neil up against him, his warmth seeping into him like honey. Nothing was normal anymore.

Neil finally appeared in the doorway and it was a slight consolation to Andrew that Neil looked like shit too. His eyes were puffy, red, and bloodshot. He had deep dark circles under his eyes. His hair looked greasy and disheveled, like he hadn’t bothered to wash or brush it in days. His eyes were lifeless, like chips of ice so cold they could burn. Neil’s eyes caught Andrew’s for a moment and his entire body froze. Andrew felt nausea roil in his gut at the feel of Neil’s eyes on him. He looked away quickly.

“Hey... woah Neil. Are you okay? You look like shit,” Matt said.

Neil’s eyes barely flickered in recognition of Matt’s words. He didn’t even look at Matt, his lifeless eyes were glued to the floor.

“I’m fine,” Neil said, his voice cold, dead. Matt looked deeply concerned and he exchanged worried looks with Dan and Nicky. Neil just trudged over to his beanbag on the opposite side of the couch and plopped in it, staring at his hands like he was searching for something there.

“Neil? Can you tell us what’s wrong?” Allison asked, leaning over Neil.

Neil didn’t reply, just flicked his eyes to Andrew for a moment and then went back to staring at his hands.

All the foxes looked to Andrew then.

“Andrew?” Nicky said tentatively.

“We broke up.”

All the foxes froze at this. Eyes jumping between Neil and Andrew over and over, most likely cataloging how miserable they both looked.

“W-what happened?” Nicky asked looking to Neil.

Neil snapped his eyes to Andrew, fire flickering there once again, “He dumped me,” Neil said, his voice like steel. Andrew wanted to bury a knife in his gut in that moment. How dare Neil make him out to be the bad guy?

Andrew snorted, muttered under his breath, “You’re pathetic.”

Neil seemed to freeze at the words, and then deflate. He looked so broken and defeated in that moment that Andrew almost felt regret. No. Neil cheated. He deserved this.

Allison went over and sat next to Neil, wrapped her arm around his waist.

“Mind if I sit with you for the movie?” She asked kindly. Neil just smiled weakly and rested his head on Allison’s shoulder. Nicky gave Andrew a scathing look before flicking the lights off for the movie. By the end Andrew’s head was pounding and he felt one second away from vomiting all over the floor. Nicky, Allison, Matt, and Dan had all been fawning over Neil the entire movie. Bringing him food and drinks, hugging him, whispering words of kindness in his ears. Aaron and Kevin had been cautiously watching Andrew throughout the night but hadn’t said a word. They had looks of concern in their eyes though.

When Nicky flipped the lights on Andrew immediately got up to leave, but he swayed on his feet. He paused, closing his eyes, trying to gain equilibrium. Neil had trudged off to the bathroom so at least Andrew could leave the dorm in peace. Andrew almost didn’t say anything, but he felt their eyes on him, angry and accusing. Because how dare Andrew hurt their perfect little Neil. Andrew paused in the doorway on his way out, turned to look back at the foxes.

“You can stop treating Neil like a broken victim.”

“Why?” Nicky said sharply.

“Because he cheated on me,” Andrew said with a cold grin, saluting the foxes with a hand as he left the dorm.

Andrew felt Aaron on his heels as he was leaving the dorm. He turned around to face him. Aaron looked confused, distraught.

“He cheated on you?”

“That’s what I said isn’t it?” Andrew said, raising a brow.

“How do you know?”

“I heard them. I saw remnants of their clothing on the floor,” Andrew said honestly.

“Another guy?” Aaron asked, sounding afraid.

Andrew swallowed the tightness in his throat, “A girl.”

Anger and disgust flashed in Aaron’s eyes, “I’ll kill him. I’ll kill that bastard,” Aaron said venomously. Andrew just laughed coldly and walked away.

“Don’t follow me.”

Aaron stormed back into the dorm, ready to rip Neil’s throat out.

“Where’s Neil?” He demanded.

“He just left to go on a run... why do you look like you’re about to commit homicide?” Matt asked cautiously.

“Because that piece of shit cheated on Andrew.” Aaron said.

“I thought Andrew was kidding,” Nicky said.

“Holy shit... Neil actually...” Kevin muttered under his breath.

“Wait. Wait. Are you sure?” Dan asked, looking to Aaron.

“What? You think he’d lie about that?” Aaron asked scathingly.

None of the foxes had a reply to that. They were all standing in shocked silence. Morning practice tomorrow was going to be rough.

Andrew squeezed his eyes shut and gripped his hand against the goal, trying to fight against his nausea. He knew he was going to vomit again. He just didn’t know when.

Neil hadn’t shown up to practice yet. He was 30 minutes late. All the foxes had been silent throughout practice, only speaking when absolutely necessary. Wymack had asked what the hell was going on so Nicky went up and whispered something in his ear. Wymack stayed quiet after that.

Andrew walked over to the water jug, trying to blink the stars out of his eyes. And then Neil walked onto the court. Andrew physically gagged at the sight and had to swallow back his vomit. Neil looked even worse today, if that were possible. He didn’t look at anyone as he trudged towards the team. He looked dead inside, like a ghost of himself.

Before anyone could react Aaron had Neil slammed against the wall. Aaron punched Neil in the jaw and Neil’s head snapped to the side at the impact but his expression barely changed. He didn’t even fight back. Everyone was frozen, not knowing what to do.

Aaron slammed him harder against the wall, “I should kill you. I should rip your throat out right here.”

Neil just laughed, his expression dead, “I won’t stop you.”

Aaron seemed to pause at Neil’s tone. Because Neil meant it. If Aaron had actually tried to kill him, he wouldn’t have fought back. The lack of fire, the lack of care in Neil’s eyes, it was terrifying. And even though Neil had shattered Andrew, the thought of Neil dead, the thought of Neil wanting to be dead, made Andrew sick. And finally the vomit he’d been holding back all day came out. Everyone turned to Andrew in shock. Andrew was on his hands and knees on the ground now, dry heaving, choking and spitting. He had barely eaten in days, his stomach had nothing left to reject but the feeling of his heart shattering over again.

“Andrew,” Neil said breathlessly, breaking apart from Aaron to run to Andrew’s side. Andrew kept dry heaving, didn’t have enough energy to push Neil away when he settled next to him on the ground.

When Andrew finally stopped dry heaving he turned a scathing look to Neil, grabbed his shirt with a fist and pulled him closer.

“You piece of shit. You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to give up. You don’t get to want to die. Don’t you fucking dare Abram.”

Neil’s eyes widened, he shook his head, over and over, “I can’t... I can’t do this Andrew. It hurts too much.”

And for some reason at those words Andrew paused, realized something. Neil had never once looked guilty. He had never once looked regretful. He had only looked heartbroken and confused. Either that meant that Neil was much more heartless than Andrew had thought, or... No. There’s no way Andrew was wrong. He knows what he heard. He knows what he saw. But some instinct inside of him made him pause. He knew Neil better than he knew anyone or anything, and if Neil had really cheated on him this wouldn’t have been his reaction. Andrew went over what he had seen and heard over and over in his head, and realized... there could be another explanation. The hope that flared in his chest pissed him off so much that he shoved Neil away as hard as he could. Neil just steadied himself and blinked at Andrew. He had noticed Andrew’s thoughts changing direction.

“Drew?”

Andrew glared at him, “Don’t. Don’t fucking call me that right now.”

Andrew’s thoughts were going a mile a minute, trying to discern the truth from what he had assumed. He knew he should just ask Neil, but he didn’t want an audience for that conversation. He looked in Neil’s blue eyes and only saw fear, confusion, hope, and such deep, unending sadness. No guilt. No regret. Had Andrew truly been wrong? Did he break up with Neil for a reason that didn’t exist?

“What is it?” Neil asked.

Andrew just shook his head and walked off the court.

Andrew went to the roof of fox tower. Smoked a cigarette, smoked 3. He called Bee. Told her his predicament. Of course she just said he needed to have an honest conversation with Neil. Andrew rolled his eyes at the thought. It had been a while and he was sure practice was almost over by now but he was tired of waiting. Andrew drove back to the court and waited in the parking lot. When the foxes saw Andrew waiting they all paused. Andrew just looked to Neil and gestured for him to come over. The foxes stayed back, watching, but just out of earshot.

Neil walked up to Andrew, he looked nervous.

“When I came to the dorm Saturday night there was woman’s undergarments thrown of the floor. I heard you with someone in the bedroom. She told you you were sexy and she asked if you had condoms.” Andrew said calmly. Neil blinked. Blinked again. He dropped his bag and racquet on the ground like he was in shock.

“You thought I cheated on you!?” Neil half-shouted.

“Didn’t you?” Andrew asked.

“No! Andrew I would never- I can’t believe-Oh my God.”

Now Neil was making Andrew feel stupid for ever thinking it, and that really pissed him off.

“Explain,” he bit out.

Neil rubbed a hand across his face, disbelief and frustration written all over his face.

“One of the girls in my math class. We were assigned a group project together so she came over a few times to work on it. Her clothes were on the floor because she spilled her coffee all over her on her way in. I let her borrow some of Allison’s leftover clothes while hers got washed,” Neil cringed, “While we were working on the project she said my hair looked long and I needed a haircut. I agreed and she trimmed my hair a little. She called me sexy because I guess she thought it looked good,” Neil’s cheeks flushed and he twisted his hands together, “She knew I was seeing you later that night, thats why she was talking about condoms. I’m sorry Drew.”

Andrew stared at Neil, took all this information in, repeated it in his head. He knew Neil wasn’t lying. Neil’s words were genuine, his expression was genuine. He felt like an idiot. Of course Neil wouldn’t cheat on him. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

“Okay.”

Neil took a step closer to Andrew, looked at him with those big blue eyes.

“Does this mean we’re back together?”

Andrew scoffed and looked away. Neil just took another step towards Andrew and lifted his hand to Andrew’s cheek. Andrew nuzzled his head against Neil’s hand and sighed, his eyes fluttering shut. Andrew’s heart felt so happy, so light. The relief of having Neil back was almost enough to bring him to his knees. His Neil. The light was back brighter than ever before.

Neil stared and stared at Andrew. His Andrew. He understood now. He felt horrible, thinking of the way Andrew must have felt the last few days. He wish he would have known. If he had known Andrew had thought he was cheating, of all things... The thought of Neil ever cheating on Andrew was laughable. Neil would rather die than be with anyone else. All Neil wanted to do now was wrap Andrew in his arms and never let go.

“I thought i’d lost you,” Neil said softly, still caressing Andrew’s cheek.

“I thought you didn’t want me anymore,” Andrew whispered. The confession broke Neil’s heart.

“Yes or no?” Neil said and right when he saw Andrew’s nod he wrapped him in his arms, holding him tightly.

“I love you Drew. You’re all I will ever want. Every day for the rest of my life. I only want you. Always.”

Andrew had his head buried in Neil’s neck, breathing him in, soaking up the words Neil was saying.

“I love you too. And yes junkie we’re back together.”

Neil laughed lightly and pulled back, “Promise me if you ever think I cheated on you again you’ll talk to me about it first before dumping me?”

Andrew snorted but still saw the phantom pain lingering in Neil’s eyes, “I promise. But Neil? Why did you think I broke up with you?”

Neil frowned, “I didn’t know. I thought you just got bored of me like you said you would.”

“I never meant that. I want to be with you forever.”

Neil sighed and his lips quirked up, “That’s good.”

“Yes or no Neil?”

“Yes,” Neil said breathlessly and then they were kissing, slowly, languidly. Andrew pulled Neil closed and wrapped and arm around his waist, the other going to his hair. Neil tangled his hands in Andrew’s hair as they kissed and all the pain of the last few days disappeared.

When they broke apart Neil traced Andrew’s lips with a hand, “I love you Drew. Only you.”

Andrew kissed Neil once on the forehead and flicked his eyes to the foxes. They all looked thoroughly confused. Probably all wondering why Andrew was taking back Neil if he cheated on him. Neil glanced back at the foxes and then looked to Andrew, frowning.

“They all think I cheated on you don’t they?”

“Maybe,” Andrew said, his lips tugging up at the corners.

Neil snorted, “Well that explains why Aaron punched me.”

Andrew’s grin faltered, he examined Neil’s jaw but only saw a small bruise there. Neil’s eyes softened.

“I’m okay. And besides if I had cheated on you I definitely would have deserved it.”

Andrew snorted and gestured for the foxes to come over to them. They all cautiously walked up and waited for Andrew or Neil to speak.

“I didn’t cheat on Andrew. But I appreciate your defending him. If I had cheated on him I would have deserved much worse.”

“Oh thank god. So you two are back together now? Because it was really horrible having you both so unhappy.” Nicky rambled.

“Wait. Andrew you just assumed he cheated and dumped him without even asking him about it?” Kevin asked.

Andrew just shrugged, “Oops.”

Aaron narrowed his eyes at Neil, not fully believing him. Andrew caught his eye and nodded. Reassuring Aaron that he knew what he was doing.

“We’re leaving now. Bye,” Andrew said, taking Neil’s hand and dragging him to the car.

Once they were alone in the Maserati Neil smiled softly at Andrew. Andrew just stared back.

“What is it junkie?”

“I love you,” Neil said, grinning widely.

Andrew rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his mouth. He leaned in and kissed Neil softly on the lips, “I love you too.”

487 notes · View notes

papirouge · 3 years

Note

it's hilarious how you state you don't want to argue "BeCaUsE i HaVe A lIfE" & then you proceed to argue. 🤣 some life you got there, huh? & btw, i never blocked you, you blocked me, so this so-called life of yours must basically just consist of arguing with a bunch of "abortionists" & proceeding to block them so they can't make their case.

i find the picture you shared to be incredibly interesting. the numbers i got are in america, because duh, that's where i live. if there are 2 million couples ready to adopt, then explain to me why there are consistently 400,000 children waiting for adoption in any given year? oh, wait, I can tell you that. the adoption system in america is shit. you basically have to be an ideal, stand up citizen in america in order to adopt, thus making it harder for already unwanted children to find loving homes. imagine what the numbers would be if abortion was abolished. if women were forced to proceed with pregnancies, regardless of what it does to their physical or mental wellbeing, the number of children in american foster care would EASILY be in the millions, especially given how many abortions occur each year.

https://www.acf.hhs.gov/cb/report/trends-foster-care-adoption

as you can see by the chart provided, over 600,000 children in america end up in foster care at least once every year, & the differences between adoption & children who remain in foster care is extremely vast.

https://adoptionnetwork.com/adoption-myths-facts/domestic-us-statistics/

this website provides in depth details between children in foster care & those who get adopted in america. this website also states that there aren't accurate statistics on how many people are waiting to adopt, but they estimate it to be 1-2 million. in other words, could be more, could be less. but the stats don't lie. 1-2 million waiting to adopt, 600,000+ children in the foster care system each year, over 100,000 adoptions a year, & only 2% of americans who do actually adopt. now YOU do the math.

i'm not pro-choice because i think abortions are cool, or whatever the fuck you seem to believe. most people who are pro-choice aren't. i care about the rights of women. if a woman gets raped & becomes pregnant, she shouldn't have to keep the pregnancy if it is too detrimental for her wellbeing. if a woman has medical issues that could kill her should she become pregnant & it ends up happening (especially if she was already being careful to begin with), then she shouldn't have to risk her life to carry a fetus that may or may not survive outside the womb. i am a woman who has a medical condition that, should i get pregnant, it would run the risk of killing both me AND my fetus, so i'd have no choice but to abort. but by your logic, who cares if the woman AND the fetus both die, just as long as it doesn't die by abortion. how stupid.

"if there are more willing to adopt couples than there are children to adopt, it means that abortion is unnecessary since these babies will ALWAYS have families to adopt them???"

obviously, by the statistics that i've shared, that's not true. if abortion gets abolished in america, MILLIONS UPON MILLIONS of children will be forced to stay in foster care. why don't you mull that one over a while, hm?

i find it even more interesting when losers find the need to bitch about politics in countries they don't even live in. what fuckin' difference does it make to you whether roe v. wade gets overturned or not?

Man...now you really do come off like a psychopath. 😳

Hun, I did you a favor by replying to your ask AFTER you accused me of blocking you "bEcAuSe i dIdnT hAvE ArGuMenTs", and now that I replied to one (1) ask, I don't have a life? ....babe, I'm not the one leeching on a blog I've been blocked from, writing salty long ass ask after being dragged & exposed at being unable to do a basic Google search LMAO. Your projection is astounding. I'm truly embarassed for you.

Replying to asks isn't arguing. You *wish* that I gave you that attention lmao. What's happening rn is you crawling into my askbox on anon after being blocked like a desperate troll loser and me handing your butt over LMAO

Your own numbers don't even work in your favor ; PLEASE USE YOUR BRAIN & YOU DO THE MATH AGAIN AND GRASP THAT 600,000 kids in foster care is still much lower than 1 MILLION couples wanting to adopt. WHAT'S.NOT.CLICKING? (and even if these numbers are even lower, it would still be MORE than the number of children in foster care - let's no forget couples wanting to adopt are estimated around 1 and 2 millions, stats don't say they could be as low as 600,000 though). Conclusion? You were wrong. PERIOD. Now take your L and leave it at that for your own sake.

You think you're really doing something stating that OnLy 2% cOuPleS dO adOpt🤪 ....yeah genius, that's precisely what I was talking about when I said the adopting system was a pain in the butt and that it should facilitated for those couples wanting to adopt but who can't because of these systemic flaws.

If abortion gets illegal and "millions upon millions kids" get in foster care there will still be parents to adopt them cause Newsflash there are regularly NEW parents willing to adopt. And even with no parent involved, it's still totally possible to improve the foster care system to let kids have a chance with life without being killed off because of reasons¯\_(ツ)_/¯

and we can even argue that with stricter abortion laws, unplanned pregnancy will lower bc adults with a brain will finally think twice before engaging in the act creating the potential to have a(n unwanted) child.

Fascinating how you seemingly see children like things to be accepted or not depending on conditions foreign to their existence ("as long as there are enough adopting parents", "as long as they are wanted", blablabla..). But the thing is.....in the end of day, the right to exist of humans is NON CONDITIONAL. There are always ways to accommodate life, regardless of what nihilistic abortionist sociopaths seemingly think.

If you have health issues and are scared of pregnancy then don't have one?? wtf. Do you think only healthy people give birth? Healthcare is the key of low death rate during delivery. My own sister has a genetic disease and she gave birth TWICE with no issue. Stop weaponizing health conditions to act like abortion was somehow safer (when it's not).

Also FYI ABORTION DOES ALSO HAPPEN IN MY COUNTRY, GENIUS. ABORTION ISN'T AN AMERICA ONLY ISSUE, SO I AM TOTALLY ENTITLED TO TALK ABOUT IT IF I WANT TO. I never talked about Roe v Wade so IDK what you're talking about.

I don't even want to address the retarded stale "pregnancy kills" argument. Not every country healthcare system is a shitty as the USA. In my country the death on pregnancy rate is 0.01% (80 deaths for 800,000 birth a year). So WoUlD yOu MuLl tHat dOwN for me? #statsdontlie

And FYI the narrative of killing babies to save a life has been debunked

All pro choicers like you pulling out this narrative sound so dumb and it truly shows you never truly bothered to look into how other countries' pregnancy care work to get some perspective on the matter. You are the ultimate losers for not bothering to educate yourselves beside your yankee lane. Get the heck over yourselves and ask yourself why others are doing better than you. Here's a clue: it doesn't involve murdering children🙃

#that's the last time I bother reading your stupid takes #always digging further into tragicness #your takes getting dumber and dumber #almost got a brain damage reading this #answered #pro life #abortion

3 notes · View notes

skips-is-asleep · 3 years

Note

fic prompt: while on the meteor, dave tries to convince Karkat that he can cook even tho his cooking knowledge stops at Kraft Macaroni. it's like a cooking show if that cooking show were left unattended for most of its childhood. rose stands by inwardly just fuckin living for this shit as Dave swears to god humans eat this

I almost didn’t do this one but this is my first ever request and also I'm not a fucking quitter so

You hate living here. You hated living here when it was you and a bunch of your friends, and you hated living here when the threat of a murder was around every corner, and you hate living here now that you’re with a couple of strangers that look weird and behave weird and say weird things.

Not that they didn’t say weird things before you started living with them, the two of them had that shit on lock. But now you have to hear it come out of their mouths, and into your brain where you’re forced to visualize some of the things they say.

At first, it was kind of nice? In that new-haircut way, where you’re not confident in it, but you can’t really change it so your only option is to just wear it until it becomes you’re new normal.

You have not reached that point in your new hivemates yet, unfortunately.

You’re not friendly with the humans. Not in the same way you are over text, at least. It’s always been difficult making friends in person, even the friends that you spent your entire life with had to live with a little bit of shunning from you simply because you’re not used to sharing your space with other living beings. It’s weird.

When the Strider human approaches you (and you call him that because you think it’s fucking weird to address someone by just a one-syllable name, and last names are more comfortable than just refusing to address him, not to mention rude) it only spells bad energy. Rancid vibes as he puts it.

You’re curled up on the sofa, in the recreation center, reading the same book you found in a decrypted hallway a few weeks ago. The cover of the book is so smudged and ripped, there’s no cover really, and some of the pages are torn out, but it’s kind of fun imaging what the missing pages had in them. Strider smacks something on the table in front of you and it makes your whole body jolt and hair stand up on end as your claws grip the pages and tear them even more. Great, that’s like a whole six more words you’ll have to make up later.

As you peel the parchment off your fingertips, you finally look up at him. You do your best to look annoyed, but you know you’re just tired. He’s got that look on his face. The one that says--

“Check this shit out.”

Good, god, yeah, that look. The thing he slammed on your table was a box, small, probably less than ten inches tall, and thing, only about an inch wide and deep, and a bright fucking blue with ugly bright yellows to contrast it. The design alone makes your lip turn slightly. “Whatever the fuck you want to bother me with this time, I guarantee I don’t have the patience for it. And I usually have the patience for it.”

“Total lie, but it’s okay, I forgive you, ‘cause this is gonna blow your fucking alien fucking troll mind, dude. This,” And he holds up the box, suddenly you feel as though you’re being sold something and you really really don’t want it. “is a Kraft dinner, and it’s called kraft cause it was crafted by the straight-up amazing ass food gods, not us ‘cause we’re different.”

You don’t want to talk. You feel like talking will encourage him to keep going, but he keeps going regardless as if you aren’t even there.

“I’m under the impression that you don’t know what this is, or even what’s inside of it, so lemme give you the tour.” Strider opens up the box and decaptulouges what appears to be an entire fucking metal basin, cooking surface, and a whole fucking sink. It’s...food. You suppose. Considering you’re not entirely certain what humans classify as ‘dinner’, it does not seem to be the same as what you do.

Strider dumbs the box into the metal basin, and out clatters little hard....let’s be honest here, they’re tubes. Tiny tubes.

“Is--” You start, and try to reach forward to touch the tubes. Strider smacks your hand away with a sharp slap and you hiss and pull back. “Dude, fuck off, I'm doing a bit here. Keep your hands and feet in the ride at all times, you know the drill.”

“What drill! There’s no d--I don’t want to be part of your stupid bit! All you ever do is run around with your little fucking god powers and make shit do other shit and turn shit into other shit and make a mess and who has to clean it up?? Karkat does, Karkat cleans up everything and he never gets a single please, or thank you or anything! And now you want me to watch you eat plastic and pretend it’s food?? I’m not falling for it, especially not this time, you blabbering, annoying fuckhead.”

The noises he makes, which you think are meant to pacify you, sound kind of like a tea kettle that’s only just starting to boil, a soft hiss/shush noise while tapping you on the shoulder. “Just trust me on this one, it’ll all be worth it.”

Fuck it, what else are you gonna do? Count pebbles??

After you seem like you’re going to allow him to continue, Strider fills the basin with water, and puts it on the cooking apparatus, turning the thing on and mumbling while he puts on his weird little show.

“Water’s gettin’ hot and it’s ‘bout to get hotter, fill it to the top, make sure it doesn’t splatter--no that’s fucking stupid, scratch that, reverse, uh, actually fast forward...” There’s his dumb little powers again. Before your very eyes, the water’s boiling. You peak over the top curiously and the little plastic tubes are big, pale and bendy. They peak over the water just a little, not completely submerged. He conveniently opens up his sylladex again and pulls out...a bowl with holes on it??

“You didn’t salt the water, Dave, you’re supposed to salt the water.” You peak over your shoulder and see Lalonde, the other human, in the doorway. She’s leaning her hip against the framing, arms crossed and smiling. How long has she been there. “Whatever, it doesn’t even make it heat up faster, who care.”

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

“I’m absolutely not.” He then dumps the pasta out of the basin into the bowl, all the water spilling out into the sink. You’ll admit, now your interest is piqued. The tubes are soft now! Just from cooking in water??

You’ve decided your interest is un-piqued. Even as Lalonde continues to make fun of her human counterpart for not putting human salt rocks into a big pot of water where they would surely sink to the bottom and not add any experience to soft squish tubes. But you don’t say anything, because you’re tired of being made fun of for not understanding human cultures. Mouth shut.

Lalonde scoffs, baffled. “It’s for seasoning, Dave.”

“It’s cheese, Rose, it has all the flavors it needs!”

As they bicker, you see Strider move the tubes from the bowl to the basin again, stove off and he picks out a little white pouch, opens it and dumps it in. You watch with astonishment and disgust. Those tubes looked perfectly suitable!!

The two of them look to you, Rose with surprise but Dave keeps the same face on regardless. Strider has stopped stiring, with the big ol’ spoon he took out as well, which was changing the color of the tubes and making them into this gross mush that looked a lot like the insides of some animals back home. You almost gag, but manage to hold it back just enough. “I know it’s probably weird to you, but I swear it’s good, here gimme a sec.”

“Listen, bro, I'm basically a fucking M and C expert, I use to eat this shit for weeks on end.”

“Yes, and then you’d faint on your keyboard from iron deficiency.”

“That was one time, and it wasn’t even because of that, it was because of something else completely.”

“DUDE WHAT THE FUCK!” You sit up and shout, now kind of angry that Dave ruined perfectly good tubes and was acting like nothing was even weird about it.

You’ll admit you’re curious. So when he starts to pull out a little spoon, and get you some on it, it makes a little squelch noise and you do gag at that, and he holds it up for you to take. You do. And you stare at it for a really really long time. With as much care and precision as you can manage, you take one little tube. out and eat it.

It doesn’t...taste like anything. Not strongly of anything at least. You almost wonder what steps occurred to bring this sort of thing into existence. Not only on earth but here, on the meteor. You don’t say anything, just handing the spoon back to Strider. It’s the most polite way you can think of.

Still, he asks, “it’s good isn’t it?”

#i really hope u like this #i dont write know or care about dave or ross #and i havemt read the meteor part of hs 1 in a long time #cause ya know #sollux isnt in it #please dont tag as ship thank u #idk u can envision whatever u want just dont let me know #karkat vantas #rose lalonde #dave strider

16 notes · View notes

love-sapphirerose · 3 years

Text

Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon Episode 19

https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/review/yashahime-princess-half-demon/episode-19/.169235

Similar to the last time Yashahime gave Moroha something substantial to do, the insidious stupidity of “Princess Aya's Beniyasha Hunting” can only be truly appreciated if I just describe the events of the story in chronological order. Given the crummy vives that the preview gave off, I don't think anyone was expecting much more than a cheap detour from this episode, but I'll be damned of this series doesn't continue to impress with how little of a shit it gives about being good, or even mediocre, or hell, even functional. And before we dig into this post-mortem, I'd like to field any defenses that people might make about Yashahime being meant more for kids, and thus shouldn't be taken seriously. For one, this is a decades-in-the-making sequel to one of the most popular anime ever, so don't act like the show shouldn't have something to offer for fans whose ages can be counted with more than one digit. Also, y'all know that crappy kids' entertainment still sucks, right? It doesn't just get a free pass for being made with younger viewers in mind. Nobody in their right mind is going to argue that stuff like Avatar the Last Airbender or Steven Universe should be judged at the same level as Caillou, for Pete's sake.

Anyway, “Princess Aiya's Beniyasha Hunting” commits the gravest sin that any work of art can commit, in that it is a completely pointless waste of time that takes the precious minutes of existence that its viewers have been afforded on this earth and just flushes them straight down the toilet. I, dear reader, respect your lives much more than Yashahime ever will, so I'm going to dispense with the “twists” and lay it all out in order: Way back in Episode 1/7, when the girls busted into Hiiragi Dango's place to rescue Towa, they brushed by his daughter, Aya, and got a speck of mud on her kimono. Being a literal psychopath, young Aya then hatched an elaborate scheme to trick the girls and get her revenge: She recruited a band of mercenaries and forced Jyubei to sell Moroha's services as well, and then she established the false pretext of recruiting demon slayers to her father's employment to lure Hisui and his two nameless buddies into fighting the mercs in a big, competitive battle.

These mercenaries are cartoonish morons, and one of them, Lady, is a pretty offensive homophobic/transphobic/maybe-even-racist stereotype, but in one of this episode's few saving graces, it's actually hard to get all that mad about it, because these goofs are pointless and don't really do anything. They spend all night building a wooden façade of a castle on the battlefield for…some reason, and then they all sort of disappear once the firebombs start dropping. No, the demon slayers know that Moroha is the only one that really needs to be taken seriously as a threat, so they recruit Setsuna to aid them, leading to a cousin-vs-cousin showdown for the ages!

Except that obviously isn't what happens, because even though Setsuna and Hisui suck, they're not awful enough to be completely on board with burning InuYasha's kid alive in the middle of a field for the sake of some half-cocked job interview. No, we eventually learn that Moroha and the slayers were in cahoots all along, since they figured they could throw the fight and earn enough cash from the not-actually-real job offer for everyone to profit. Sure, the slayers apparently didn't even tell Moroha about the very real volley of firebombs they'd be tossing her way, but who's keeping track of neglectful homicide attempts amongst friends and family, eh?

It's that throughline of “not telling your teammates the most basic and necessary information” that really sinks this episode, which was already a bummer to begin with. Nevermind Hisui and Setsuna almost turning Moroha into barbecue; the big dramatic turn of the story occurs when Setsuna and Moroha both agree to not tell Towa about the fixed battle because…she's a bad liar, I guess? Except Moroha is the one that lets slip about the battle in the first place, and I don't know why anyone would assume that keeping Towa in the dark would be easier than just explaining that the fight is rigged, nobody is getting hurt, and so on. Even if you bought that silly excuse, the episode still doesn't make any goddamned sense, because once Towa predictably gets mixed up in the fight anyways and mistakes Setsuna's “acting” for real aggression, nobody bothers to just explain what's going on then, either! The episode establishes that Aya can't hear anything they say from her little tower, so why keep up the charade? And how is any of this easier than one of the girls just telling Towa, “Hey, we're going to scam the spoiled daughter of that guy who kidnapped you out of some money by faking a battle. If you want in, cool, but if you can't keep up the ruse, just, like, hang out here this afternoon or something. We'll be back in a few hours, tops.”

It's just so unbelievably lame, and it's the kind of plot that is doubly frustrating because it depends entirely on characters withholding important information for no reason other than to cheaply manufacture some consequence-free drama. Also, remember how the whole setup for the battle was a lie, anyways? Yeah, Kohaku shows up out of nowhere to explain to Aya that he knew the whole thing was a waste of time, except he didn't tell his own crew of demon slayers this because…he wanted them to learn a lesson?

To recap: Aya, a character we've never met, goes to insane lengths to deceive Hisui, a cardboard cutout that we do not care about, in order to double deceive (and possibly kill) Moroha, all on account of that one time she got some dirt on Aya's clothes. Then, Moroha, Setsuna, and Hisui attempt to trick Aya, which ends up being a waste of time since they already fell for Aya's initial trick, and there's a bunch of needless drama with Towa because everyone made a conscious decision to also trick her, even though she probably would have been able to allow the secretly useless and entirely overcomplicated ruse-within-a-ruse to go off without a hitch, if only she had she known what was happening in the first place. Takechiyo even gets in on the action by tricking Towa into thinking Moroha got horribly murdered in her arms. Why? Who the hell knows! Maybe it's because Takechiyo just gets off on psychologically abusing teenaged girls. I'd buy it. Just look at the little creep.

Throw in some harmful stereotypes and a hilariously clunky last-minute scene where Towa gets all tearful over Moroha's safety – despite definitely not giving a crap all those times that Moroha was in actual danger – and there you have it: “Princess Aya's Beniyasha Hunting.” No, Moroha does not transform into Beniyasha. Yes, I'm just as mad about all of this as you are. The only reason this episode is getting a two-star rating is because there's a funny bit where Moroha plays along with the bounty hunters' silly entrance-theme bit. I'm giving it one extra start for making me laugh exactly once. That might be damning Yashahime with faint praise, but with nineteen episodes down and only a handful to go, I'm afraid that faint praise is just about the only good thing Yashahime can hope to earn at this point.

#anti hanyo no yashahime #anti yashahime #anti towa #anti sunrise #anti sessrin

10 notes · View notes

mst3kproject · 4 years

Photo

The River of the Giant Alligator

A bunch of Italians pretending they’re not Italian in a movie about a guy who chose the wrong place to build a hotel… it’s like Avalanche by way of Devil Fish, with an alligator. And racism. You can’t have a 70’s Italian jungle movie without the racism, and this one layers it on real thick. I think The River of the Giant Alligator has its MST3K bases covered.

Rich Asshole Joshua has opened Paradise House, a resort in the middle of the ‘virgin jungle’. He proudly tells visitors that not only has he left the surrounding ecosystem undamaged, but he’s helping the local people by giving them jobs and improving their standard of living. Naturally it’s not as simple as that. Trouble begins when Sheena, the model they brought for their advertising photographs (just for a dash of Killer Fish), vanishes overnight. Photographer Daniel and hotel manager Ally go to the locals looking for her, and are told that the River God has awakened and intends to drive the white people away by assuming the form of a giant crocodile and eating them all. Considering how mind-bogglingly stupid the tourists in this movie are, that should take all of twenty minutes.

The locals, who call themselves the Kuma, have a name for their River God but it’s pronounced five different ways and I won’t guess how to spell it. Because of the deep breathing sounds that presage its first appearance, I shall call the creature Darth Gator.

Let’s get the basics out of the way first. The whole movie is dubbed and the voice actors are bad. The Darth Gator prop is completely immobile but they mostly keep it in the dark or in really tight shots so we don’t notice… it’s only the occasional ill-advised wide shot where it’s obviously fake enough to be funny. There’s a spiky fence that exists mostly so that people can get impaled on it and a cloying little kid for no reason whatsoever. The ‘wildlife’ is a stock footage smorgasbord that includes orangutans and hippos on the same river. The worst effect in the film is a terrible miniature shot of the hotel on fire, which would have looked just fine if the people involved hadn’t forgotten that flames don’t scale.

So all that sucks, but is fairly harmless. Now let’s talk about the racism.

We’ll start with the movie’s treatment of its two ‘love stories’, and I use the floating commas because neither of them quite qualifies. Daniel and Ally are the main ‘couple’ of the movie. The camera lingers on each of them to show that he thinks she’s beautiful and she thinks he’s rugged, and they spend the whole movie hanging out on balconies and boats together and discussing whether the resort is good or bad for the local people… but they never get so much as a kiss. This is kind of nice, actually, because there’s very little time to stop and make out when you’re being chased by a large carnivorous reptile. It does, however, make for a hell of a contrast between them and the other ‘couple’ we see.

This is the model, Sheena, and her Kuma boyfriend. I am unclear on where this movie is set (the closest we get to a clue is Ally referring to the area as ‘the Orient’, which could honestly mean anything) but it’s perfectly clear that the reason they hired a black woman for their publicity photos is to make the place look ‘exotic’. There’s a weird moment when Joshua attempts to flirt with Sheena by telling her, “it occurs to me that Eve herself may have been black”, which… yes, that is how human evolution worked, what about it? All that aside, at the end of the day, Sheena runs off for a romantic evening with one of the tribesmen. We never see her talk to this guy or have any clue what made her pick him over any of the others. They just go fuck on a beach and then get eaten by an alligator.

So… we have blonde, blue-eyed white people having a perfectly chaste, wait-for-marriage love affair in which they actually get to know each other… and black people who run off with a stranger and screw out in the open like animals. Holy shit. I want to say I hope this wasn’t something the film-makers actively thought about, but it might be worse if they didn’t. Naturally, this is also a version of the ‘people who have premarital sex must die’ trope from slasher movies, and the movie makes doubly sure we know this is Bad Behaviour by having Ally remark that the Kuma are forbidden from visiting ‘the Island of Love’ on the full moon.

The deaths of Sheena and Nameless Kuma Guy also begin a pattern that lasts almost the entire movie. Even though we’re told, repeatedly, that Darth Gator wants to drive the white people out of his jungle, for the vast majority of the running time it’s the brown people who are getting chomped. We’re told that twelve white missionaries came here years ago and Darth Gator ate all but one of them, who then became a crazy jungle man (not gonna lie, Father Jonathan was my favourite character and I wish we’d seen more of him). We see Sheena, her boyfriend, and the boyfriend’s brother get eaten alive. Furthermore, most of the white deaths in the movie are at the hands of the Kuma, who run in and kill the tourists with spears and fire arrows in the belief that they’re doing their god’s bidding, and much of this happens offscreen. Those hit by the arrows quickly fall into the water and vanish from sight. The only time the camera lingers on a white person dying is Joshua, who I guess they think deserved it. The impression one gets is that white death is a horror better implied than shown, while brown death is a spectacle. Again… holy shit.

The River of the Giant Alligator can’t seem to decide what we’re supposed to think about the Kuma people. Early in the film they’re portrayed as victims. These foreigners have invaded their land and built this giant hotel, and claimed to be helping them by giving them ‘work’. Ally notes that they’ll be able to live longer, healthier lives, but Daniel wonders if it’s worth it when they’ve basically become Joshua’s slaves. The movie leaves this question hanging there without exploring it any further. When Daniel and Ally come looking for information about the alligator attacks, the Kuma direct them to Father Jonathan, knowing they’re more likely to believe a white man, even one who’s obviously not quite all there. The movie really wants to be about the exploitation of indigenous peoples, treated as decorations and curiosities by white tourists.

The problem is, it wants to eat that cake, too. By the end of the story, the Kuma have devolved into stock savages. They attack the hotel and kill everybody, and kidnap Ally so they can tie her to a horizontal King Kong contraption as a sacrifice. The ending just makes it all the more confusing, as they turn up to discover that their god has been blown to bloody chunks after biting into a van full of explosives, and they cheer and they just leave. Is it really that easy to kill a god? Won’t a dead god demand vengeance anyway? Does this mean they actually like the white people after all, and were only angry because Darth Gator was eating them?

The ending also muddles the movie’s other point, about the nature of eco-tourism. One of the selling points of Paradise House is that it’s in the middle of virgin jungle. Joshua brags about how he’s left the surrounding ecosystem untouched – but then we cut straight to trees being cleared using dynamite, and later we see live piglets being thrown into the river to keep the crocodiles hanging around so people can gawk at them. You can’t build a hotel in the middle of a place and then call it ‘virgin jungle’. You’re the one who violated it!

The script is a little unclear on whether Darth Gator is a natural or supernatural threat. Ally and Daniel insist that it’s no mere alligator (I don’t think this movie knows the difference between crocodiles and alligators any better than I do) and Father Jonathan seems to believe it’s the Devil Himself, but it certainly dies like a flesh-and-blood creature. Whatever its nature, it’s clear enough that Darth Gator represents the jungle striking back at these intruders to drive them out. The Kuma literally say as much. So what are we to take from the fact that it dies at the end? Have we won the right to destroy the forest by killing its guardian? I don’t believe the people who make these movies think this stuff through.

I can tell that we’re supposed to hate the tourists, and we do, although not always for the reasons the movie wants us to. Minnow, the red-haired little girl who ‘only likes to play with boys’, tries so hard to be Adorable that you want to punt her across the room. Her mother leaves her to wander around the hotel alone, because Mummy’s got a smarmy mustached boyfriend to bang (even this relationship gets more attention than Sheena and Unnamed Kuma Guy, by the way… we are told that Mummy and Mustache have met before, and are here mostly to see each other rather than the jungle). Other notable annoyances include a lady who seems perfectly sane until she starts talking about the aliens, and a guy who loves to complain about Youth These Days and will seize any opportunity to do so.

I kinda wanna gripe about these obnoxious characters, but I don’t feel like I can. You may recall that I spent a month stuck on a cruise ship earlier this year. I can tell you definitively that these people do exist, and I hate them even more in real life.

Man, this could have been a fun monster movie. I’ve seen movies about man-eating crocodiles (or alligators… does it honestly matter that much?) that I really enjoyed. Primeval wasn’t even that bad – it was about how humans are more monstrous than anything nature can produce. Lake Placid had that immortal bit where Betty White says if I had a dick, this is where I’d tell you to suck it. The River of the Great Alligator is just boring bullshit and things that seem kinda racist on the surface but then you think about them a little longer and realize they’re incredibly racist. I went into this one hoping to like it, but it absolutely pissed on the last shreds of my optimism... like a lot of other things in 2020.

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #the river of the great alligator #the great alligator #fuck this movie #fuck it so much #70s

25 notes · View notes

xxjustpoetrythingsxx · 3 years

Text

I am not throwin’ away my shot!

Hey yo I’m just like my country

I got issues, fucked up, and grumpy

But I’m not throwin’ away my shot!

Imma finally graduate from college

I probably shouldn’t brag cuz, dang, I know it’s not a huge accomplishment

The problem is I got a lot of plans but I’m not confident

I screw up with every word

Gotta learn to stop the self-admonishment

I’ve got bad mental health, just a tiny speck of dust

Tryna reach my goals but currently they feel unreachable

Only nineteen, but my mind is older

I guess every year I get a lil’ bit bolder, but I shoulder

Every burden, every disadvantage

I have learned to manage, but my mind’s still damaged

I walk this road alone, damn it!

The plan is to let ago of all these shame

But damn, it’s fucking hard so let me shift the blame

It is the D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-O-N, can’t you see?

A girl who works through her shit independently

Meanwhile, her dad kept shittin’ on her endlessly

Eventually, she snapped and cried relentlessly

Then her father turns around shifts the blame, you see

He ain’t ever gonna let her be truly free

So she goes and leaves him behind and sets herself free

That girl is me, though some wouldn’t believe

Won’t let myself be mocked when they said he isn’t that mean,

Eventually, you’ll see I’m better off on my own indefinitely!

And I am not throwin’ away my shot!

I am not throwin’ away my shot!

Hey yo, I’m just like my country

I’m dumb, fucked up, and grumpy

But I am not throwin’ away my shot

It’s time to take my shot!

I dream of life where everyone can excel

Where everyone can be themselves

Where there is no shame in needing some help

But that can’t happen if I’m hangin’ by a belt

So, I won’t waste my shot!

Might not look it, but I’m a planner at heart,

And I need to be alive to have plans start

So I’m earning my degree cuz I know it’s my chance

To have my goals advance, instead of watchin’ life go by in a glance

So I gotta take my shot!

And I feel like I won’t ever be really free

Until I let go of my shame and feel the need to flee

All my lies

Make my wanna die

But I won’t go down that path again

Fuck it, I’m on the mend!

So I gotta take my shot!

But, even now I feel like I lost my voice

My mind keeps reminding of my struggles and my dubious choices

Wonderin’ if I was really abused and I’m just a fraud

But that’s just one of my brain’s taunts

Just another one of its many sinister plots!

So I doubt myself a lot

My past mistakes are on replay like it or not,

I think I deserve to rot

But one life’s all I got

So I’ve gotta get the most out of my shitty lot

What are the odds I’d be consumed by my thoughts?

One in one million, so I get back up, like it or not

Life’s just a bunch of second chances to not give in

So, I gotta stick the landing, and let my new life begin!

Oh, do I sound too proud?

Sometimws I use faux confidence to stave off all the self-doubt

Even as I’m writin’ this, I’m unsure

But I promise that I’ll get this poem out

I guess that’s what this poem is about.

Because I’m not throwin’ away my shot!

I am not throwin’ away my shot!

Hey yo, I’m just like my country

I’m dumb, fucked up, and grumpy

But I am not throwin’ away my shot!

I am not throwin’ away my shot!

Hey yo, I’m just like my country

I’m dumb, fucked up, and grumpy

But I am not throwin’ away my shot!

Rise up

When you lost sight of your dreams, you rise up

Tell your knees that they gotta rise up.

Tell your feet that they gotta rise up.

When are you gonna rise up?

When am I gonna rise up?

When are we gonna rise up?

Rise up.

I imagine my death so much it feels like a memory.

How would I end me?

Sleeping pills, nosediving off a balcony?

If I went through with it, who would even miss me?

I know a lot of people would but that’s stupidity

See, I never thought I’d live past twenty

Just the thought of continuing life didn’t occur to me

Ask myself why am I living in the past and why I smile and laugh as part of my mask?

I can’t keep livin’ in the past, so stop self-shaming

Scratch that, some of what my actions only have me to blame,

So why shouldn’t I continue to feel shame?

I’m my own enemy, so why should I reach out my hand?

I don’t deserve the serenity that getting help grants

And? If you don’t ever seek recovery?

Isn’t that just a guarantee your actions will continue to inflict misery?

The lies you spout will create an endless cycle of guilt until you die to stop the codepence!

I know your life seems worth endin’

‘Cause, damn it, between all the lies and the fightin’

You’ve been sitting and mopin’

But you can get a handle on your stagnation!

Are you gonna let yourself go scot-free or will you take control and take responsibility?

I’m past wastin’ your time waiting

I’m desperately correctin’ every lie ‘n’ manipulation

Every action is an act of salvation

I’m laugh in the face of my self-imposed sorrow

For the first time, I’m thinking past tomorrow!

So I am not throwin’ away my shot!

I am not throwin’ away my shot!

Hey yo, I’m not just like my country

I’m not dumb, fucked up, or grumpy

So I am not throwin’ away my shot!

I’m gonna rise up and take my shot

I am not throwin’ away my shot

I’m gonna rise up and take my shot

I am not throwin’ away my shot

I’m gonna rise up, rise up, rise up

It’s time to take my shot

Rise up, rise up

It’s time to take my shot

Rise up, it’s time to take my shot

Rise up, take my shot, shot, shot

It’s time to take my shot, take my shot

And I am not throwin’ away my

Not throwin’ away my shot!

This was a rewrite of Hamilton’s “My Shot” to fit my current situation. I’m in a middle of a depressive episode so I decided to give myself some hope. I hope this helps some other people too

#poem #poetry #hamilton #my shot #depression #suicidal thoughts

4 notes · View notes

ubernoxa · 4 years

Text

The Dare: A Guns N’ Roses FanFic

Chapter 32: The First Aftershock

Story Summary: A stupid harmless dare, that’s all it was supposed to be. It was supposed to be something they would do, and never revisit. For Delilah, little did she know that visiting the strip wasn’t going to be a one time thing when she made the choice to accept the dare. Life is full of choices. Some choices can mean absolutely nothing, while others can change your entire world. Delilah had heard many rumors about the Sunset Strip or Devil’s Strip. Teenagers would whisper stories about how the Devil walks the streets of the strips without a care in the world. It was known as a place untouched by God. After years of hearing rumors about the Devil’s Strip, Delilah wants to see it for herself. Thus a Dare was born.

Chapter Summary: Drew publishes the article, and the first aftershock occurs.

Author’s Note: Well...here goes nothing. Sorry for the shorter chapter.

Masterlist

Taglist: @gingerspicetalks @str4nge-haze @queen-crue

The office was filled with the chatter as Drew read through his article one last time. He pat himself on his back as he found his golden ticket. His chance to truly make a name for himself. Maybe one day he might actually leave this trash no name magazine article company, and work at Rolling Stone.

“Hey, good luck today Drew!”

“Thanks Jerry, good luck to you too!” Drew never let the smile escape his lips. He submitted his article this morning and ever since there had been murmurings of some newbie writer finding the new it story. Only one hour ago his heart nearly leapt out of his chest when he overheard some of his coworkers whispering about his article possibly not only making the cover page of the magazine, but being the cover article.

“Drew can I speak to you in my office?” Drew’s head shot up the moment his manager said his name. Drew practically bolted from his desk when he heard his manager summon him to the office. This was it, he was going to make the cover page!

Once Drew closed the door, he was met with an entirely different situation.

“What the hell is this?” All confidence left Drew at his manager’s words.

“My story,” Drew quickly replied while trying to keep his ground.

“No, your story was about the struggle of making it big on the strip and who the unsung heroes were. Not an article about a bunch of sluts and whores,” Drew tried to steady his breath as he was being lectured by his manager.

“You said find the sorry, so I found it.” Drew’s manager let a sigh escape him as he took off his glasses.

“What happened to the article you showed me a couple days ago about these same women? Drew this article is slander,” his manager sounded defeated as he spoke.

“Not if it’s the truth,” Drew replied earning some cuss words from his manager.

“I just..Drew, I’m not speaking to you as a manager, but as a friend. This has caught a lot of...attention. If you go through with it, there is no turning back,” his manager’s voice was sharp as he spoke.

“I don’t know why you brought this up? Do the higher ups not like it?” Drew sassed back.

“No, they like it...You’re going to make enemies when you post this. You’re going to ruin these girls’ lives,” His manager messaged the bridge of his nose as he talked.

“They told me this, they let me interview them. I didn’t force them to take those photos,” Drew snapped back.

Drew’s manager went silent for several moments before he broke the silence, “Fine, I will let you present this article. I will sign off on publishing it, BUT you have to tell me this isn’t personal. This article is all business and is not motivated by anything else.”

“Nothing personal, just business,” Drew shrugged back. No lie had ever come off his tongue so easily. Mags was going to pay for lying about having his baby. He wanted to make sure her world was destroyed just like she tried to destroy his.

———————————

Duff couldn’t have propelled himself up the stairs faster. Delilah had teased him the night before about a home cooked meal and a present, and he couldn’t get him mind off of it.

“Where the hell is he in a rush to?” Axl groaned as he dragged himself up another flight.

“Delilah told him last night that she had a surprise for him,” Slash mumbled as he followed the red head. All Slash wanted was a quiet night sleeping in an actual bed, but he wasn’t getting that tonight. Duff had practically begged him to spend the night on the couch in hopes that she would have sex with him. Little did Duff know that the present was a new banner, and not sex.

“Ohh Jesus Christ,” Axl mumbled under his breath earning some chuckles from Steven and Izzy.

“Atleast we’ll get some sort of home cooked meal,” Izzy said thoughts of Delilah’s cooking filled his mind, but his thoughts disappeared when he entered the small apartment. The stench of a burnt dinner still lingered in the air, suffocating him.

“Did Delilah burn something?” Axl whispered as he went to investigate the kitchen. He couldn’t remember a time when she had. Izzy followed him right at his heals missing the scene in the small living room.

The small living room was filled with their girls sleeping on the floors or couches. Delilah had cocooned in one of Duff’s blankets. Mags was right next to her fast asleep with her head on Delilah’s side. Tonya and Stef shared the other couch in a similar position. Upon first glance everything seemed normal, there was no cause for concern for the dark of night hid their smudged makeup and tear stained cheeks.

“They look cute don’t they,” Duff smiled at Steven’s comment. It had only been a couple weeks, but it felt like ages since he had seen her.

“Is that a new banner?” Duff asked, smiling at the purple banner that hung above the rotting couch. It was a soft lilac with their logo painted on in a deep purple. It looked screen printed or done by a professional, god she was talented.

“Yeah, Del must have made it,” Steven said before placing a kiss on Stef’s forehead and picking her up bridal style heading to bed.

“Burnt?” Axl nodded at Izzy’s words as he looked at the blackened lasagna. Izzy began to poke around the lasagna to see if any of it was edibles. Axl would have been lying if he said he wasn’t looking forward to Del’s cooking.

“What the hell?” Izzy picked up a magazine page that was ripped in half.

“Maybe they used it for painting or some shit...to keep the paint from getting on the rotting floor?” Axl shrugged disassembling the lasagna hoping to find an unburnt layer. Relief passed him as he did and cut a piece out of the center. He was going to get a home cooked meal after all.

“Is that Duff and Del?” Izzy motioned towards the cover of one of the trash magazines that he’d see by the checkout line.

It was, there was no denying it. On the cover of a magazine was Delilah lying on Duff’s lap with his hand up her floral dress.

“The real stories of the strip: the drugs, sex, and whores of an up and coming Rock & Roll band,” Axl mumbled as he read the title on the cover out loud. He shot Izzy a confused look once he finished reading it out loud. What the actual fuck?

“Wasn’t this article supposed to be about how they helped us or putting them in a good light? A feel good story type of thing?”

“That’s what I was told,” Izzy watched as Axl began to clench his fists, and breathe deeper.

Izzy was sure of one thing, Drew was going to pay for writing this damn article.

Izzy watched as Duff picked Delilah up bridal style and placed a sweet kiss on her forehead. Izzy contemplated on showing Duff the article, about the reason for Delilah’s tear stained cheeks. He didn’t. He was going to, but as he saw Duff’s tired face covered with the joy of having Delilah in his arms again, he couldn’t do it.

————————-

Cold, that was the first thing Duff noticed when he woke up the following morning. He sighed as he tried to fight the sunlight that was prying his eyes open. He eventually gave in. His heart sunk when he wasn’t welcomed by Delilah’s cinnamon smell or her cute giggle. He shrugged assuming that she must have just began to make breakfast.

Duff leapt out of bed and immediately headed for the kitchen trying to see if Delilah had begun to make breakfast. He walked into the small kitchen hoping to see Delilah, but the kitchen was empty. The usual smell of bacon and eggs or pancakes that usually filled their apartment has been erased. He sauntered his way into the living room to be greeted by an annoyed Slash and Axl.

“Where’s Del,” Duff pulled Axl and Slash out of their discussion as he spoke. Part of him wondered what the hell they were bickering about, but at the same time he was more concerned about Delilah.

“Don’t know, she left with Stef, Mags, and Steven like a half hour ago to go to the store or some shit,” Slash replied taking another sip of his drink.

Axl just shook his head and hid a laugh as he lounged on one of the torn up couches. He couldn’t believe that Duff was bale to sleep through the fight that had happened between Stef, Steven, and Mags not even an hour ago.

“Why?”

“Have you read the article yet?” Axl shot back in a cocky tone.

“What article?”

“The one that fucker Drew James wrote,” Slash’s blunt tone caught him off guard. While Drew hadn’t discussed Slash’s sex life as much as the others, he was still pissed at the comments Drew made about his love of snakes.

“No you’re not gonna watch me fucking pee on it you jackass because that’s a damn violation of my personal privacy,” Mag’s voice echoed through the small apparent as she stormed in. She flung the door open, practically throwing it off his hinges. Slash and Axl went silent the moment Mags walked into the room, curious to see how the scene would unfold.

“No, but I have a right to know if it’s your pee or not!” Steven shouted right back.

“Oh my ducking god Steven! You think I’m going to stoop that fucking low??” Mags shot back.

“Hey hey hey, Steven. Breathe okay breathe,” Delilah held onto Steven wrists while trying to hold him back from following Mags. Stef and Tonya bolted past the two of them to help Mags.

“Del”

“Steven, please,” Delilah’s voice was no louder than a whisper. She was a lost for words for how to calm him down, but after Stef and Steven’s fight this morning she knew that she was the only one with hope of calming him down. The only problem was that she had no idea what she was doing.

“Del, that bastard got her pregnant,” guilt was tearing Steven apart as tears began to cascade down his face. He continued to torture himself with blaming himself. She met Drew because of his band, because of him. She wouldn’t be in this mess if it wasn’t for him. He couldn’t protect her and it was all his fault.

“Shhh shhh shhh,” Delilah pulled him in for a hug as she tried calming him down.

“Del, is she pregnant with that bastard’s child?” Delilah couldn’t answer, all she could do was pull him in tighter for a hug.

She mumbled, “I’m sorry” before she let go of him and walked towards to moldy bathroom that was at the end of the hall. Duff remained frozen as Delilah hurried past him rushing down the hall towards the bathroom.

“Delly,” Steven turned towards Duff’s soft wine that Delilah had clearly ignored. Duff’s eyes never lingered from Delilah as she ran into the bathroom.

“What the fuck is going on,” Duff turned towards his band.

“Drew fucking James,” Axl tossed Duff the trash magazine with the infamous article in it.

Duff’s heart stopped as he saw the cover of the magazine. Under any other circumstance, he would of loved to see a photo of Delilah lying on top of him. Her smile and the look in her eyes would have melted his heart any other day. The longer he looked at the photo the angrier he became. He looked at his hand that had bunched up Delilah’s dress, so he could grab at her underwear. If this was any other girl with him on the cover he would have shrugged it off, but this wasn’t any other girl. This was Del, and this photo made her look like a damn whore.

30 notes · View notes

softyoongiionly · 5 years

Text

🍬Sour Skittles: Part Two 🍬

Sour Skittles

WELCOME TO GLASSCLAW! The only city where you can get a homecooked meal and a hitman all on the same street! You moved to GlassClaw for a fresh start after a group of raiders invaded your previous compound. Unbeknownst to you, the city has its own collection of riff raff and, at the head of it all is your neighbor Min Yoongi. The mischevious merchant with one hell of a sailor mouth is known for swindling the rich and, serving the poor. The world has become convoluted and chaotic since the apocalypse but, two things were certain: You were so much more than pretty face and, Yoongi was so much more than just a thief.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: I got really inspired to do a little update for this after watching a ton of videos about the French Revolution lmao. I hope you guys like it!

Genre: Dystopian Au, RobinHood! Yoongi, smut, fluff, minor angst, post apocalyptic au

The heat is unbearable.

It sticks to you like a thick and intrusive warm cloak.

You’re spread eagle on your mattress, completely naked except for a pair of underwear and, a loose fitting t shirt. The idea of fabric clinging to you is revolting enough to make you wretch and, you’re now seriously considering taking another cold shower.

This would be your third one today.

Fuck AstroLex honestly.

The hegemonic superpower that runs Glassclaw shut off everyone’s AC as punishment for the recent raid of one of their many storage places.

The Underground is clearly responsible but, AstroLex lacks the evidence to bindict anyone. This was usually the case, the raiders who worked for The Underground are too good and, they usually commit their robberies without a trace.

This isn’t the first time AstroLex has implemented a city-wide punishment, last winter they turned off the heating for 6 days which led to a dozen people nearly dying of hypothermia.

They didn’t care though. Their message had been received, their debts had been collected and, they could continue in their world.

Unapologetically unbothered.

AstroLex made an announcement earlier this morning that the AC would be turned off until further notice and, you assumed this meant until the raiders were turned in.

You audibly groan as you feel more sweat forming on the back of your neck, the feeling nearly vomit-inducing. The only way you knew to alleviate your suffering would be to live in your freezer and, given that it’s much too small, you concede that your only option is a slow and painful death.

A knock at your door interrupts you both in it’s volume and it’s intensity. Another pained groan passes your lips as you drag yourself off of your bed. The knocking gets more persistent as you make your way to the door.

“I’m coming!” You call, annoyed at the intrusion.

Swinging the door open, you are met with the one person who could make your day more difficult: Min Yoongi.

“Took you long enough…” He smirks, leaning against your door frame. His minty green hair is dripping wet and, he’s dressed in only a gray pair of torn jeans, black boxers peeking over the band of them.

“Don’t you own a shirt?”

He snickers, “It’s a thousand degrees outside, do you want me to die of heat exhaustion?”

“Definitely not, I’d loose out on my reward, they raised it again today…$40,000…” You cross your arms, fighting the smile that’s trying to take over your lips.

Turns out, your suspicions regarding your neighbor had been correct. Yoongi was forced to out himself as an Underground worker when the AstroLex police had launched a full on investigation in your environ. In a desperate attempt to maintain his freedom, Yoongi came banging on your door at 3am, begging you not to turn him into the authorities. Yoongi belonged to a particularly stealthy and ruthless group of raiders known appropriately as “Robin Hoods.” So far, the Robin Hoods had been responsible for nearly 60% of all successful raids done on AstroLex’s resources and, given that their operations were so seamless, the police hadn’t been able to bring a single member in for questioning. However, AstroLex did announce a citywide call for intel which promised a hefty reward to anyone who had information regarding the group.

“I’m certainly worth more than $40,000, those bastards…” His eyes scan over you briefly, glinting with mischief, “You look like a drowned rat…”

You scoff, pushing against his bare chest, “Fuck you…”

He snickers again, nimble fingers clutching at your wrists, holding them against his chest, “I’m kidding, c’mon, I missed you…”

He’s so full of shit…

You roll your eyes at him, playfully tugging your hands away, “You missed me so much you came pounding on my door only to call me a drowned rat?”

“I’ve undergone a lot of childhood trauma, sweetheart, forgive me, I have hard time expressing my emotions…” He explains with a dramatic flair to his voice, slowly starting to lean in towards your lips.

“You’re shameless. “ You open your door wider, silently inviting him inside, “Did you bring what I asked for?”

Yoongi purses his lips through his smirk before shuffling into your apartment, “Are you referring to the stupid salt that I nearly died for? Yes, I brought what you asked for…”

He reaches into his canvas bag, pulling out a plastic box containing your requested item: Rock salt.

Eagerly, you take the box from his hands, already excited to utilize the stolen good which left Yoongi feeling very confused.

“The fuck do you need rock salt for anyway? Can’t you just use the stuff in a bottle?” He shuffles his bag back over his bare shoulder and, you shamelessly allow your eyes to ogle at the movements of Yoongi’s sinewy chest muscles.

“I use that salt for cooking but,” You move around him to make you’re way over to your fridge before pulling out a bottle of fresh cream, you’d bought from the a local dairy farm not far from your apartment. “I’m using this one for homemade ice cream…the store bought stuff just isn’t the same.”

Yoongi wants to scoff at your response because; quite frankly he finds it a little ridiculous but, he doesn’t scoff, instead, he feels rather enamored. The modern world leaves very little room for a luxury like nostalgia but, for whatever reason, he feels a lot of it when he’s around you, you remind of him his past life….before everything went to shit.

“Are you making enough to share?” He smirks, hopping on your counter, his dirty combat boots scuffing against the wood.

“I’m not sharing anything with you if you don’t get off my counter…” You grumble, pushing against his jean clad leg, causing Yoongi to snicker as he obliges, choosing to lean back against the granite. “But yeah, I’ll make enough to share—you have to take some to Namjoon too though.”

“He’s lactose intolerant…”

You stop what you’re doing to throw a deadpan Yoongi’s way which only causes his mouth to twitch, a smirk threatening to break through, “I literally saw him shoving cheese pizza down his throat the other night. Share with him or you get nothing…”

Yoongi chuckles again, holding his hands up to concede with you, “Fine, I’ll share but, don’t expect it to be an even split. Namjoon’s job isn’t nearly as demanding as mine, I need my strength…”

With a roll of your eyes, you assemble some of the ice cubes into a large ceramic bowl, eyeing the dish rack for a spoon, “Do you even a day job or, are you a full time renegade?”

With a nod of his head he responds, his hand musing through his hair again, “I work at Electric Eel’s on the weekends…”

The fact that Yoongi works at a strip club shouldn’t affect you but, an odd sensation rolls through your stomach as you think of all of the beautiful women he must work with.

“The strip club right? How’s that going for you?”

Yoongi smirks again because, apparently, that’s the only facial expression he’s capable of, “It goes ok. I literally only wear a leather vest and leather pants so, the tips are pretty fucking good. Plus…I get to work with a bunch of hot people so, it’s a good gig.”

You swallow around a dry throat, trying very hard not to picture bartender Yoongi in an all leather outfit but, obviously you fail.

“Sounds like it…” You affirm casually, dumping a sizeable portion of ice cubes into a metal cylinder. “Do you know Jungkook?”

Yoongi tilts his head for a moment before nodding, “Yeah yeah, young kid right? He’s a dancer there…wait how do you know him?”

It’s your turn to smirk now, memories of Jungkook currently running an assault on your brain, “Uh…he’s an old friend of mine. Last I heard he got a job there so, I figured you would know him…”

Yoongi’s stomach tightens now, the smirk on your face telling him everything he didn’t want to know, “Just a friend?”

A flurry of butterflies courses through your gut as you think of all the fun you and Jungkook used to have, “Just friends yeah…”

There’s a bit of silence that moves between the two of you as Yoongi admires the way you lie to him.

He kind of wants to be a secret of yours too…

“Don’t worry…I hooked up with him too. He’s a hell of a lay…” Yoongi chuckles, his eyes alit with mischief and memories of his own.

The feel in your stomach drops lower now, towards the place between your legs. The bit of information Yoongi just shared certainly isn’t what you’re expecting but, you’d be lying if you said that thoughts of Yoongi and Jungkook together didn’t do a number on your resolve.

“He sure is…stamina for days…” You giggle, trying to center your thinking towards more appropriate topics, “Do you think they’ll turn the air on this week?”

Yoongi notices your hasty subject change but, he decides not to pester you, at least not for the moment, “Probably not. There was an uprising in Ricketts yesterday --I think Astro is worried we’re going to do the same. Gotta keep the leash tight…”

The news surprises you, there hadn’t been an uprising in your area of the world in quite some time. The last one, occurred four years ago in the nearby compound of Amex and, ended in a bloody battle that took the lives of nearly 2,000 people; the compound’s government executed the resistance leaders during a public broadcast.

Rebellion seemed less appealing after that but clearly, the fear of retaliation is quickly wearing off…

“Really? I had no idea…I didn’t hear anything about it, were they successful?”

An honest smile actually presents itself across Yoongi’s lips as he nods, knowing full well what Rickett’s victory could mean, “They overthrew their council. AstroLex sent in reinforcement but, their resistance held em off, they retreated this morning…”

This causes your eyes to widen, “Are you serious? That’s unbelievable, how did you hear about this? There’s no way they would have put this in the broadcast…”

Yoongi leans in, his eyes darting around your kitchen, lowering his voice significantly, “Don’t you find it strange that AstroLex is offering 40,000 for a bunch of petty thieves?”

He has a point.

AstroLex is worth millions.

But if he’s not just a thief…then what is he?

“Do you know something the public doesn’t?” You offer, trying to conceal your intense curiosity.

Yoongi grins, his brown eyes glimmering with something you haven’t seen in over a decade: hope, “Let’s just say…the Ricketts rebellion is the first of many. Sooner or later, AstroLex will meet the same fate…”

His words fuel your bleeding heart but, you have to be careful. You can’t get wrapped up in promises, you’ve made that mistake before.

“Resistance...” You breathe and, Yoongi doesn’t allow his grin to fade, “Do you really think it’s possible?”

“Would you join if it was?”

Looking up at your neighbor, you muster all of the sincerity and passion you can manage, holding the depth of his gaze as you respond,

“I’d join regardless…”

199 notes · View notes

mindswe-had · 3 years

Text

I was pretty stupid at twelve. Might get into the causes for that later, but long story short I got into self harming. Yeah, that wasn’t glorious. I never really planned on actually doing this, but I’ve come to realise a few people I know close to me have been having the same issues lately. And I can’t lie, it’s been pretty triggering for me getting into the details of why, how and when every time someone reaches out to me for help. So I figured why not just write about it. I guess here’s how I got out of it, and what keeps me going. Because I feel like no matter the what caused it to occur, self harming never is the only thing you’ve got left. Welcome to one of many unwritten therapy sessions.

Part one- please listen to me

I think, looking back, that one of the main reasons I got into self harming was I didn’t feel listened to. Or “left out”, as I would call it. I could’ve had dozens of friends around (which I did not anyway lol), I would’ve always felt alone. Well not alone, but lonely. And I remember even back then wishing so hard to have someone close to me, someone so persistent they would’ve gotten through the walls I was (subconsciously) building around myself. Having no one, or at least feeling like you don’t, can quickly become the start of an even deeper downfall. And that’s exactly what happened with me, but once again I am not getting into the details of this now.

So how do you make someone struggling with self harming actually FEEL like you’re there? I’d say first off, be available and let them know you are. But don’t insist on it, else it just feels like you’re trying to get them to tell you something. It starts with nothing, really. Even just sitting with them for a minute and asking about their day helps. Or just sit in silence with them if they let you, feeling someone’s presence can be extra comforting sometimes. Or watch with them that one show they like so much. Show them that you care always. Don’t be too intrusive, leaving the person their own space is key, but let them know you’re free for them whenever they need. No matter how hard you want to help someone that might be struggling, do not ever push them to talk about things they want to keep a secret. As long as you let them know you’re here and not going, you’re becoming sort of a safe space to them. And you do not always want to talk when in a safe space. So don’t ask questions, but listen instead. If they want to talk to you and feel safe enough with you they will. It never really is a one way thing though. Put some trust in them as well. Confide in them, even on the most little stuff. Inevitably that makes them feel somewhat valued, which is crucial when it comes to helping them trust you. Most importantly, it’s so incredibly hard becoming part of someone’s safe space without forcing yourself in. It takes so much time, gentleness and patience. Don’t blame yourself if they don’t talk to you right away. Some people can build the highest walls around themselves without even trying which can even make you feel rejected, but trust me there always is a way in if you’re patient enough. Always. Listen. Even silence can mean a lot if you listen hard enough.

Part two- alternatives?

One of the main things that helped me cope with self harming whenever I felt like doing it was finding alternatives for it. You can probably find a bunch online if you look them up, but for me what worked the most was writing. Well it was journaling really, but I’ve always hated the whole concept of a diary so I refuse to call it that. I used to have this old yellow copybook by my bedside I would grab pretty much every night, whenever I felt the urge to cut. And from there I’d just start writing about my day or whatever it was I had on my mind. Sometimes I’d copy quotes I liked (mainly from Grey’s are we surprised), sometimes I’d even just doodle. Whatever it was that kept my mind off cutting for a while. I think in a way I felt like writing about my own problems made them a little bit less heavy, and more real if that makes sense. On some days that would be enough to make the urge pass.

Music was also a great therapy for me. I’d literally sneak my old mp3 in bed and blast sad songs in my earphones at 2am. Sometimes I’d get so caught up I’d even get up and cry dance out to whatever it was I was playing. I used to do that until passing out of exhaustion most of the time and I actually loved it, it was such a great way to evacuate.

“Replacing the harm” was something I used to do as well to keep me from cutting. That was basically just replacing the harm caused by cutting by something that was technically a bit better. Still harmful but better. And for that most of the time I’d either do sports, eg running really hard until the sole of my feet was aching, or I’d just use the elastic method. That just consisted in keeping an elastic around my wrist at all times, most often a hair tie, and snapping it on my wrist or arm whenever I felt the need to take something out on myself. That worked wonders especially because it was so discreet I could use it whenever I felt the need to at any time of the day, which would always take a considerable amount off the buildup that would make me cut at night.

The butterfly method was also something I used on a few occasions. That just consisted in drawing butterflies on your arms (or wherever else it is you usually harm yourself) so that when you felt like cutting you’d see them and would be kept from doing it, because you’d metaphorically be cutting their wings off and killing them if you were to actually were to cut. I didn’t use that one often but it did help a few times. I found it also worked with writing names of people I loved (real of fictional), and basically any other doodle of an animal.

Once again though, these alternatives are only what worked for me and what I used the most when I was into self harming, most of them I still use even now as they’ve just stuck with me. But they’re far from being the only valid ones existing.

Part three- NEVER say don’t

That one is about to be very short, but do not ever tell a person who self harms not to self harm. It’s plain stupid, won’t make them stop and they probably already know it isn’t good for them. It’s also invalidating as hell and will only make them feel worse if they’re anything like me. Instead you can try and show understanding. I remember once a girl online told me something like “I won’t tell you to stop cutting because I know you won’t, but please make sure you at least clean up your wounds properly and get stitches if necessary”. And that honestly meant so much more than anyone could ever imagine. I didn’t feel blocked of forced to stop but accompanied and understood, which itself helped me a lot and if I’m being honest it was so unexpected her words have stuck to me to this day.

Part four- stop counting clean days

When self harming, I found a lot of people tend to count their clean days (dc’s) as a way to encourage themselves to recover (clean days being days during which you don’t self harm). I did it as well, that for a very long time. It only makes you feel like pure shit when you relapse. Because inevitably there ARE relapse days during recovery, which is something practically no one talks about. You don’t just snap out of it you know? Every time I’d relapse I’d just look at my previous clean days count and think to myself the most horrible stuff. Let’s say I had just broke off a 12dc’s, I wouldn’t sit there and be proud of myself for lasting so long, instead I’d just tell myself “Wow see? You went so far up for nothing. You’ll never recover so why bother trying anyway” and that itself would trigger a urge to go even harder on myself. The moment you stop counting clean days is the moment you allow yourself to heal, slowly but surely, even if you can trip a little down the road there.

Part five- people you relate to

One last thing I can think of that helped me with self harming was finding people I was seeing myself in, somehow. I’m thinking personally of Amelia from Grey’s Anatomy/Private Practice who had a drug problem, and mostly a YouTuber called Johanna Cadence. Ana used to make videos on YouTube mainly talking about her own depression, suicide attempt(s) and self harming issues. Sometimes they were just videos of her rambling, sometimes they were art videos, sometimes poetry readings. Whatever it was she put out, even song covers, would comfort me. We basically grew up together. She was always so different from me yet we were similar in a lot of ways, and I always admired her so much for that. By the time I started watching her her channel was called Howsenselessdeath Howpreciouslife, but she’s renamed it to Universal Hobo since then I believe. Most of her early videos are still up if you scroll far enough.

My point with this is, find yourself people who make you feel like you belong. They don’t have to be Amelia from Grey’s or Ana from YouTube, there are plenty of people out there, but finding yourself someone that represents to you what those people were to me undeniably helps, in a huge way.

1 note · View note

s-j-ace · 4 years

Text

The Same Question

Chapter One

Characters: Shuichi Saihara, Ouma Kokichi

Words: 6738

Summary:

After Detective Shuichi Saihara encounters mysterious thief Kokichi Ouma for the first time, a game of cat and mouse ensues as both men ask themselves the same question. Why exactly does the elusive phantom thief do what he does?

Sequel to the events of That’s the Thing About Airplanes and New Plan!

Read on AO3

Kokichi Ouma had always found it strange how he could sit in a room full of people yet feel utterly alone in the universe at the same time.

The thought occurred to him once more as he sat among his crew in a little hole in the wall cafe tucked in the shadows of the city of lights, and it was very much out of character. The scenario Kokichi described to his crew, as they drove away from the Louvre in the beat up looking SUVs they had secretly loaded up with stolen plumbing parts, was that of a birthday party. They were all twenty something Parisians who had gotten out of bed extra early to take their friend out for a birthday surprise. How fun! How quaint! How unsuspicious!

… but in reality it was just an excuse for Kokichi to try and shake off the weird mood he was in with decadently sugary crepes. He had pitched it to DICE as a sort of celebratory feast of a heist well done, but honestly Kokichi had never felt so bored after stealing something in his whole life.

For some reason or another he had felt exhilarated on the plane ride in, but as soon as he got to the actual stealing part everything felt all samey and routine again. He even let Queen make off with a painting of some big dumb flowers that he wanted, hoping that it might spice things up, but now it was just lodged under the seat cushions next to a bunch of fancy looking elbow pipes.

Ugh.

Now that he really thought about it the painting would probably make escaping Paris even more boring… News outlets wouldn't run the headline "Pipes and toilets stolen from the Louvre," when they could run the headline "Priceless painting of pretentious looking flowers stolen from the Louvre." It'd make it easier to sell the plumbing because interpol would be keeping their eyes on the fine art black market instead of Craigslist offers for scrap metal.

Well maybe that was a good thing. Kokichi didn’t want them to get caught selling the pipes, after all. DICE was a bit of a scrappy group from the start and their heists had been decreasing in profitability recently for the expense of spectacle. Bishop told him that their accounts were doing fine and they had enough cash saved up for some frivolous heists, but Kokichi could do math too and thought Bishop’s accounts were slightly suspect.

They were probably just telling him that to make him feel better. Maybe they had noticed that something was off with him. Maybe they were planning with the rest of DICE to overthrow him as the boss and put someone less stupid and predicable in charge instead.

No, Bishop couldn’t do that to him. They weren’t a good enough liar. None of them were good enough liars. Kokichi knew them too well. For instance, right now he knew that Bishop and Ace were having a conversation that Rook was waiting to butt in on, Spade and Club were talking about Mario Kart and Spade was acting like she agreed with what Club was saying even though she didn’t, Queen was pretending to be doing some important coding but was definitely on reddit, King was planning to shove some whipped cream in Rook’s face as soon as he finished his crepe, and Hearts and Jack were leaning in the corner of the four person booth they had all crammed into like a clown car with their legs on top of everyone else’s with Hearts on top of Jack’s lap about to fall asleep while Jack was very noticeably not noticing even though she definitely did notice because Hearts’ boobs were right in her face.

There was so much lying happening, so much play acting, yet everything added up into an equation that seemed all the more sincere. DICE were genuinely celebrating another successful heist. For them, nothing was wrong.

That was so bizarre.

Everything seemed wrong to Kokichi. He felt trapped. He felt like they were all trapped. How could he ever know that his people were genuinely happy when to his knowledge people had to question everything that they found themselves doing. Take, for example, the crepe he had eaten moments ago. He had eaten it in an odd way where he started from the bottom of the crepe’s fold and ate outwards, preserving a perfect ring of outer crepe rind. It didn’t really enhance the taste in any way, seeing as the crepe had a completely even cook, but Kokichi had insisted it did as he ate it regardless because he knew that was in character of the person he had established himself to be. He was the kind of guy who just casually committed food crimes. It’s not that it didn’t still bring him joy to see the faces of his crew scrunch up in disapproval, but it made him wonder if the rest of them realized the same thing about their own behaviors. That they acted a certain way and thought a certain way because of a tacit, invisible social code of who they should be and how they should act towards others, regardless of their own intrinsic motivations.

It made it hard to tell what lay behind their faces. If they were really happy behind the smiles.

They had to be happy, right?

Yeah, if he looked up happy in the dictionary he’d probably see a photograph of King shoving whipped cream in Rook’s ear. Like he was doing right now.

Everyone was safe and having a good time, and yet Kokichi felt like he was watching it all happen from a far away place.

Was Rook really angry as they slugged King in the arm or were they just pretending to be angry because they knew that was the part they had to play in the overall scene of this social interaction?

Kokichi glanced at the other DICE members’ faces. Spades and Clubs were still having their own conversation about a Blue Shell conspiracy theory, but everyone else seemed to be laughing at or pretending not to laugh at King. The thought occurred to Kokichi that he should probably try to match their facial expressions, but upon inspection he found that he was already grinning full force.

Weird.

He let the lie lay flat.

Immediately everyone turned to look at him. That was normal, he was their boss. If he wasn’t happy it meant something was wrong. Except it was also weird. There used to be times when Kokichi was very young where he could be in the middle of a room full of people say anything he wanted at the top of his voice without being heard. He wasn’t the same person on the outside of his head as he was on the inside of his head and he knew that and he used it to his advantage. But would he ever be able to escape it?

…

Okay! That was a series wrap on overanalyzing shit and having memories! Time to not think about any of that ever again!

“I’m bored of crepes.” He whined. “We should go somewhere else.”

Instantly everyone’s face lit up with excitement. “We should go somewhere else” had become a sort of ritual phrase that now meant “Convince me what our next heist should be.”

Everyone started talking at once.

“There’s this casino-”

“The Taj Mahal! We should do the-”

“Fort Knox! I wanna-”

Kokichi raised his hand and the clamoring voices stopped instantly.

“One at a time, shortest to tallest, and not so loud.” He nodded slightly to the woman sitting on a stool behind the cash register. They probably didn’t have to worry much about her. It appeared that she only understood french when she took their orders earlier and now she seemed to be checking her phone disinterestedly. They had also chosen to sit in the booth furthest from the register so really there was very little chance she would overhear them say something that would get them in trouble, but you could never be too sure.

“Well, boss. Most esteemed mastermind. You lovely bastard you,” Spades, the shortest of DICE save for Kokichi himself, schmoozed exaggeratedly. Kokichi could tell she didn’t really have an idea but wanted to draw out her turn as long as possible because Clubs had an idea and she was teasing him like an annoying older sister. She was probably going to pull Buckingham Palace. “I have the best idea. The most creative. The most innovative.” Buckingham Palace was so ridiculously easy to get into that there was entirely no point in wasting a trip to Britain on it. There was some drunk guy who just wandered into it and found the Queen’s bedroom. Twice. “It’ll be tough, but with our unique set of skills I think we’ll be able to pull it off.” So when someone didn’t have an idea, to pass they’d say Buckingham Palace. “And it’ll be well worth it. Our names will go down in history.” And then Kokichi would give a funny excuse why they weren’t going. He should probably start thinking of one now while Spades was still blabbering. “The biggest heist of all time.” Hmm… How about… Yeah that was a good one. “Home of her royal majesty herself, Buckingham Palace!”

Everyone groaned as if this weren’t an entirely predictable twist to Spade’s monologue.

“Uggh, Spade you know I can’t go back to Buckingham Palace.” Kokichi groaned. “Last time I was there I saw Prince Phillip dressed in a corgi fursuit being tugged around by the queen on a leash. I’m still trying to erase the image from my mind.”

That got an easy guffaw from Ace and a smattering of giggles from everyone else. Not bad, but he’d come up with funnier before.

Jack giggled longer than the others. Kokichi knew that meant she was waiting for everyone to quiet down so she could one up him with her own bit.

He raised an eyebrow. “Something to say, Jack?”

“Ooh… Well… I was just wondering if that’s the real reason we can’t go back.”

She paused for a second as if expecting him to “yes, and” her, but he decided to let her fend for herself on this one.

“I mean. What was it you said to your husband on the plane?” Shit. “Didn’t you tell him you wanted him to beg like a dog?” How much of that conversation did she hear? “I don’t know, sounds like Prince Phillip might’ve awakened something in you.”

“Awwww,” King crooned, “Boss Baby’s first fetish.”

Kokichi wasn’t really bothered by this implication beyond the fact that, judging from the smattering of snickers, it was getting better laughs than his original comment. He needed to swing this.

“Puhlease. Who would be into pet play when feral rats are clearly the sexiest creatures on the planet?”

“Is that why you spend so much time trying to look just like one?”

“Why Jack, I’m flattered you think I look just like the sexiest creature on the planet, but I’ll have you know I’m married.”

Hearts was nice enough to take the bit. “To who?”

“Not that plane detective?” Bishop prodded. Or maybe they said “plain” detective? Maybe it was a pun. Good on you Bishop.

“No, heavens no. I’m married to Ratatouille himself.” Kokichi’s rather strangely eaten crepe was about to work out pretty well in the grand scheme of japery. He unfurled the remaining ring of crepe edge and put it around his wrist. “Want proof? Here’s the ring. Isn’t it beautiful?”

“Gorgeous!” Queen enthused. It didn’t seem like he was really paying attention, with his eyes glued to his laptop, but Kokichi appreciated his support nonetheless.

Jack frowned. “Isn’t the rat from Ratatouille’s name Remmy?”

“You’re right it’s not Ratatouille, it’s Ratatouille’s monster.” Rook chimed in, definitely quoting a tumblr post. “No, no, no, I’m not married to the rat, I’m married to the concept of Ratatouille.” He made a romantic gesture. “The one we hold dear in all of our hearts.”

“Oh, of course, of course.” Ace tried to nod sagely, but the effect was ruined by the big grin on their face. Ace had a hard time not laughing at everything, especially their own jokes.

Club had been pouting this whole time. With this whole thing about Kokichi being into dogs diffused it was probably time to hear out his suggestion. Kokichi was about to say as much, but before the mirth died down long enough to change the subject, Queen interjected.

“Uh, boss.” He said, turning around the laptop he had been fiddling with the whole time. “Speaking of rats… There’s one on the news making himself a loose end...”

On the screen was a distressed looking headline in french accompanied by a picture of the detective himself, Shuichi Saihara.

Kokichi’s heart leapt.

Then he noticed that it leapt.

And that his hand had begun moving to fiddle with the bandage on his finger.

He stopped himself just in time.

---

Shuichi Saihara had always found it strange how quickly his body could turn on him.

He had been fine, on the plane untangling his seat belt while alarmed chattering spread like wild-fire throughout the plane.

He had been fine, explaining to a frazzled flight attendant and captain that no he was not in fact married to the gentleman who jumped out of the plane, who was, as it turns out, an internationally wanted thief.

He had been fine, making the call to 112 and explaining to the respondent that yes he knew all the police cars were busy with a high profile break-in and that the incident he was reporting was, in fact, related to said break-in.

And yet, when he sat down, alone on a bench in front of the Paris-Charles De Gaulle airport surrounded by the crisp night air the thought crossed his mind that DICE had robbed the Louvre by now. That they had gotten away, and it was all his fault. All his fault.

And then Shuichi pulled out his phone and dialled the number of his very good friend Kaito Momota because he was having a panic attack.

*Beeeeeep….*

Shuichi knew he was having a panic attack because it felt like the world was ending for no good reason.

*Beeeeeep….*

His breathing got shorter. An immense pressure built up behind his eyes, trying to force tears to leak out from underneath them. His hands locked in a vice grip around his phone.

*Beeeeeep….*

Three words repeated in his head over and over again like a broken record. All your fault. All your fault. All your fault.

*Beeeeeep….*

If Shuichi had any presence of mind right now, it might occur to him that there was, in fact, a reason behind this panic attack. That he’d been privy to and partially responsible for so many high stakes cases in his career that the idea of failure made his imagination sick with all the horrifying outcomes his mistakes could cause, including the ones that had actually come to pass. A man looking at him with hatred in his eyes as the police car door shut on him. All your fault . A fourteen year old girl hanging from a noose. All your fault . The sound of a gunshot in an alleyway. All your fault . The phrase was like the slightest twitch of a finger that could pull back the trigger of a gun loaded with every horrific thing he’d ever seen, heard, or felt. Everything hit his brain in one compact shot and Shuichi didn’t have time to respond in any way except try desperately to avoid going into shock.

It felt like the world was ending and when the world is ending you call Kaito Momota.

*Beee-*

*Click.*

“...”

“Shuichi?”

Kaito’s voice sounded groggy and confused over the phone.

“...”

“You there, man?”

Shuichi tried to answer in the affirmative, but he couldn’t seem to force himself to speak. God, he was an idiot. He should’ve just texted. Kaito probably hated him anyway.

“What’s up, dude? Something the matter?”

No, Kaito is his friend and things are fine and he just needs to calm down right now.

“Hello?”

Okay. Okay. He was just trying to talk the wrong way. His throat was tensed to accommodate his heavy breathing instead of human speech.

“Shuichi, is that you breathing weird into the receiver?”

Yeah, okay, see? He was breathing weird. He should… stop that…

“Ok, dude, whatever’s going on I’m gonna need you to not asphyxiate. Here, breathe with me. Inhale. Two... Three... Four... Five... Exhale. Two... Three... Four... Five...”

Oh yeah. Shuichi was definitely breathing too fast right now. Panicky fast. Like close to hyperventilating fast. The kind of breathing fast that started squeezing liquids out of your face if you weren’t careful. Not doing that was like the first thing on the not having a panic attack checklist but somehow it was always the one Shuichi forgot first.

“Inhale. Two... Three... Four... Five... Exhale. Two... Three... Four... Five...” Kaito repeated the rhythm and Shuichi could hear his friend matching it with his own breathing as Shuichi struggled to do the same.

Inhale. Two... Three... Four... Five...

As Shuichi counted in his head he felt almost every part of his body loosen to some degree.

Exhale. Two... Three... Four... Five...

With the exhale the pressure behind his eyes began to dissipate.

Pretty soon Shuichi was breathing in a way that the kids these days would call normal. While breathing normally was something human beings needed to do to not asphyxiate, it was quite shocking how physically helpful it was in preventing Shuichi from crying on a bench in front of an airport in Paris.

He could still feel his heart pounding in his head, but at least his breaths weren’t fighting to outmatch its volume.

The pounding went away by about the third exhale. He felt his power of speech return after the fourth.

“... Sorry.” He murmured into the receiver on his cell phone.

“Nothing to apologize for man. What’s going on?”

“I. Uh. Am having a panic attack in front of the airport for some dumb reason.”

“Gotcha gotcha gotcha.” Some shuffling, as if Kaito was repositioning himself on the other side. “I bet it’s not as dumb as you think man. You wanna talk about it, or do you want a distraction?”

A woman bleeding out on the floor, her face eternally frozen in a scream. All your fault .

“... A distraction is good. Just having, like, intrusive thoughts right now.”

“Yeah, okay. Gimme a sec to make myself sociable, it’s pretty late here.” Shuichi heard some more shuffling through the speaker. He’d probably woken Kaito up.

“Sorry.”

“It’s all good man.” Kaito shuffled around some more. “Hmm… Oh yeah, I had a question at dinner, no one was around to answer.” “Oh, is Maki out again?” Maki was Shuichi’s friend, Kaito’s partner, and a professional bodyguard. She stood next to people and looked intimidating in a suit for a living. Sometimes she stood next to Shuichi and looked intimidating for free.

Maki holding a pipe, the end coated in blood. All your fault .

Inhale. Two... Three... Four... Five... Exhale. Two... Three... Four... Five...

“Yeah, that’s our Maki Roll. Busy as a bee.” There was a scritching sound over the phone that could’ve been static or Kaito itching his stubble. “Since I was cooking for one last night I made Saturn-ghetti.”

Shuichi wrinkled his nose instinctively. “Ew.”

Saturn-ghetti was what Kaito called regular spaghetti with one big meatball in the middle. It sounded tame enough now that Kaito made the big meatball on his own, but when he first introduced Shuichi and Maki to the concept it was in their college’s cafetorium and he had just taken all the meatballs from a regular spaghetti and meatball dish and mashed them all together into one big ball in the middle. Shuichi had quite literally seen murder scenes less gruesome.

“Hey man, I don’t judge Maki Roll for dipping fries in shakes or you for dipping bread in soups.”

“Dipping is normal Kaito. You’re supposed to dip carbs. Everyone does it. You’re the only person in the whole world who mushes meat.”

What about that guy who used a meat tenderizer to mush his victim’s faces in…

“Why would you want to eat tiny meatballs?”

“So you can eat them with the spaghetti.”

“Can’t a guy just have a separate meat and noodle experience? You can’t even process the flavor if you eat both at once!”

“They’re supposed to go together. Otherwise, you would just make a meatloaf.”

“Well I don’t have a recipe for meatloaf Shuichi, I have a recipe for meatballs.”

“Do you mean meatball, singular?”

“Yes, I do. Glad we can both agree that’s what I mean since it’s the best way to eat spaghetti. Anyway, back to my problem.”

“I thought this was the problem.”

“Saturn-ghetti is not a problem it’s an art. My problem was that when I was making the noodles I realized that I had forgotten what that metal bowl thingy is called. You know, the one with the holes in it.”

“If only that had stopped you.”

“Yo, I’m serious! I have no idea what it’s called and it’s been driving me insane all night.”

“Do you mean a strainer?”

“No, I know it strains stuff but like there’s a different name for it. Like. It sounds like cauliflower? Except not because it’s not a vegetable.”

“A colander?”

“Yeah, that’s it! Jeezus Louizus that was driving me crazy. You’re a lifesaver man, where would I be without you?”

“Uh probably googling ‘another name for noodle strainer.’” Shuichi didn’t really see how knowing what the metal strainy thing is called could save a life. Maybe if you were getting murdered and had one chance to write down the name of the culprit and you knew their name was the same as what that metal strainy thing is called but you forgot what it was. Wait, no, in that scenario you still got murdered. God, what was wrong with him? Did his brain always have to jump to murder right away?

“Nah,” Kaito said with conviction. “I wouldn’t be half the man I am without my awesome sidekick around to back up.”

At the familiar phrase, Shuichi felt his heart warm and the tight ball of anxiety in his gut loosened in turn. “Sidekick,” was admittedly an odd term of endearment for a friend of almost ten years, but if you knew Kaito you knew it was a word that meant something to him. To him, having a sidekick means having someone who you backup no matter what. Even if they make mistakes or aren’t sure of themselves quite yet. Because you believe in them. No matter what.

“I wouldn’t be where I am today without you either, Kaito.” He sighed. “Not that that’s saying much…”

“What do you mean by that?” Shuichi could hear the frown in Kaito’s voice.

“Ugh. Nothing. Or. It’s just.” Inhale, two, three, four. Remember to breathe. “It just feels awful to be having a freak out like this again. I haven’t had a panic attack in like a year. It just feels like sometimes that I’m doing okay and I’m not still some stupid teenager still freaking out because I feel a little guilty about a guy being in prison and my parents not being around because of me and then I have a panic attack at an airport and it feels like I’ve made absolutely no progress at all in dealing with any of my anxieties at all and even though I’ve tried so hard to change who I am I’m still the same pathetic kid I’ve always been.”

Keep breathing. Exhale, two, three, four.

“Hey man, it’s okay. We all get those days sometimes. You feeling up to talking about it now?”

“Which part?”

“Like, why you were freaking out. It’s usually not for no reason, even if it seems like it.”

“Uh.” Yeah okay. Breathing was really helping to clear out his head. He was feeling more in control of his general brainspace than he was a second ago, which was good. “Honestly it’s not the worst thing that could’ve happened. No one died. All that happened was the Louvre got robbed.”

“Yeah, okay that doesn’t sound that bad.”

“But on the other hand, it was the Louvre that got robbed. It’s a national treasure here. The whole country is going to blame me for it.”

“Wait, sorry, what’s the loo in French again? I know it means the toilet in the UK, but does it mean something else in French?”

“No, not the loo. The Louvre. The famous museum.”

“Oooh, yeah. Right, right, don’t listen to me I’m tired.”

“Oh, sorry-”

“No, no, keep going. Listening to my sidekick’s problems is more important than catching forty winks.”

“Uh. Right. So I’ve been tracking DICE for a while now, right?”

“Uh-huh, the clown guys, I’m familiar.”

“And I know Maki thought I was crazy, but I knew that they were going to pull this job on the Louvre, right? And so I get on the plane and this weird guy sits next to me. He breaks my seat and pretends to be married to me so that the flight attendant upgrades us to first class.”

“What the hell?”

“Is that weird? I couldn’t tell if that was weird or not.”

“No yeah, that’s shady as shit. Do I need to come to Paris and tell him to step off for you?”

“No, uh, you’d probably have a hard time finding him, because it turns out? He was the thief the whole time?”

“Whaaaaaat.” “Yeah, apparently I was just shooting the breeze with a criminal mastermind and I’m such an idiot I should’ve jumped out of the plane after him without a parachute.” Like that guy they found impaled by a lamp post...

“Hey man that’s on him, you can’t blame yourself for the existence of criminal- wait did you say he jumped out of the plane?”

“Yes.”

“Like, while you were in the air?”

“Uh, yeah, through the emergency exits.”

“Duuuuude that’s super dangerous. I don’t know how high up you were but the pressure change could’ve caused all of the oxygen to suck out of the cabin.”

“That’s… Alarming…”

It also brought up some interesting questions. Shouldn’t the pilot of the plane have been able to tell that there was a life threatening pressure change in the cabin? Or did DICE do something to tamper with the equipment? Did they manage to jump out at an altitude that wouldn’t be lethal to everyone in the cabin through chance or calculation? In the latter case that might add to the traits profiling the group, the ability implying at least some form of higher education. What about other sources of information? Maybe they bribed the pilot? He’d need to be interviewed. Shuichi would need to make that suggestion when the police got here. They’d probably also want to do a forensic analysis of the drug that was used on the passengers. There’d most likely be some trace of component that they could utilize to locate possible business contacts or country of origin for the thieves. Knowing their flight information was also a great advantage, it meant they could track down several forms of ID. Even if they were faked it would allow for higher scrutiny on future flight paths if Interpol decided to pursue this investigation seriously. Toilets wouldn’t really keep their attention, most investigators at the Smithsonian were more concerned about the mammoth than all the stolen picture frames, so unless DICE made off with something more valuable this time around Interpol probably wouldn’t waste time sending agents over. Then again Agent Ishimaru was the agent in charge of the DICE case now and he was very thorough when it came to his investigations. If Interpol showed up, maybe Shuichi would get a chance to look at the next note when it was sent to them, like he had in America...

“Hey, am I supposed to be able to track everything it is you’re muttering to yourself there or is that just for you?”

“Oh, uh,” Hghk he was muttering out loud. “Just for me, sorry. Stuff about the case.”

“Oh, yeah, okay cool, cool, cool.” Kaito paused for a moment. “Wish I could be there to back you up in person, man. Hurts my soul as a man and your friend that I didn’t support you all the way on this Louvre thing when you brought it up before.”

“What?” Oh, he meant that thing that Maki said about him needing a vacation. “No, no it’s understandable. I was running on like… fifteen minutes of sleep and fourteen cups of coffee when I told you two about my theory.”

“Man, I just want you to know that no matter what we’re always here to support you. Even if we get it wrong sometimes we’re just worried you know. Also, you need to sleep more.”

Shuichi frowned. “You make it sound like you and Maki are my parents.”

“Nah, parents suck. We’re your friends. Much better.”

Shuichi laughed at that. “Yeah, okay, fair.”

Was that a siren Shuichi heard? Maybe?

“Kaito I think police are gonna be here soon. I gotta go.”

“Oh, yeah, okay. You feeling better now?”

Shuichi paused to take mental stock of himself. He tried to remember how he felt before he came outside. Things were fine, he was just doing some damage control. By all means this incident was a break in the case rather than the wrecking ball to his career his more panicked thoughts were trying to convince himself of. He was fine. Things were fine.

Except…

“Uh. Yeah, mostly. I guess maybe I’m just tired?” Yeah he was definitely tired. His eyes felt like they’d just spent the last ten years trying to watch the wind on a mountain peak. “I dunno. Logically I know that everything is fine and I’m doing alright, but that part of me that feels like I’ve failed and I’m going to mess everything up forever is still there no matter what I do.”

“Hey man, you know what I always say. There’s nothing you can do about the past, but you will always have the power to change what’s happening right now. You’re my sidekick and a brilliant detective to boot, you can do anything.”

“Right. Yeah. You’re right.” It didn’t really matter that DICE had gotten away with the heist on the Louvre. Plumbing parts and paintings were replaceable. What Shuichi’s investigation had always been concerned with was the amount of unregulated capital DICE was accumulating and what exactly the shady organization was planning to do with it.

“Now tell me what it is you wanna do right now.”

“I… I’m gonna track down those thieves.” That would have to be the next step of course. There’d probably be some evidence at the Louvre if the police would let him take a look…

“Heck yes you are!”

“And I’m going to figure out what they’re up to.”

“Hell yeah you are!”

Shuichi laughed a little at Kaito’s unwarranted enthusiasm, but he let the mirth drained from his expression when he looked up to see the police cars he heard before pulling into the lane in front of the airport. An officer stepped out of the first one and Shuichi stood to wave her over.

“Ah, the police just got here. I gotta talk to them.”

“Fuck yeah you do!” Kaito exclaimed with the same level of pep talk energy he’d said every other encouragement with. “Go get ‘em Shuichi!”

“I will.” Shuichi said, not entirely sure.

“You will.” Kaito said, completely certain.

I will. Shuichi repeated to himself as he hung up and made his way over to the police officers. It seemed like there were three cars. That was kind of odd considering the 112 responder said it’d be two cars. Wait, was that last one a news van?

Shit.

---

Parisians are in shock after the theft of Dutch painter Van Huysum’s priceless, centuries old painting “Vase of flowers in a niche” from the musée du Louvre just this morning. The following interview was conducted with M. Saihara, a private eye known for the recovery of a stolen mammoth skeleton from an american museum, called the Smithsonian, just a few weeks ago.

Journaliste: What can you tell us about the robbery at this time?

M. Saihara: It is the working theory of the Paris Police force that the culprits behind the break in at the musée du Louvre are the internationally wanted criminal group known as DICE. These police sketches have been released of two members of this group. If you spot anything or anyone suspicious, please report it to the Paris Police Prefecture.

Journaliste: Are these the same criminals who robbed the Smithsonian in America a few weeks ago?

M. Saihara: I believe so.

Journaliste: Is it likely that the robbers are still in Paris?

M. Saihara: Very likely.

Journaliste: What are the chances that the stolen piece will be reclaimed?

M. Saihara: We don’t have enough information to determine that at this time. Just know that the Paris Police Prefecture is doing everything they can to return it to the people of Paris.

Journaliste: What of the criminals? Is it likely they will be caught?

M. Saihara: If I have anything to say about it, yes they will be.

Journaliste: M. Saihara, do you know if-

M. Saihara: Je suis désolé Mademoiselle, I must be going now. The Paris police will most likely release a more elucidating press statement when more information is received. Bonne journée.

Journaliste: Merci, M. Saihara.

Kokichi Ouma exited out of the google translate tab he’d opened up on Queen’s laptop. At the end of the article were two police sketches. Jack’s didn’t look all that accurate (thank god for contouring) so Kokichi supposed they could all breathe a sigh of relief on that front. Now, the sketch of him on the other hand…

King whistled and Kokichi realized the taller DICE member was leaning over his shoulder to peer at the screen in front of him. “That detective really got a good look at you.”

Kokichi scoffed, not wanting to raise unnecessary alarm. “Please. The nose and eyebrows are all wrong.”

“He really got down the bird’s nest though.” King pointed out, reaching to muss up Kokichi’s effortlessly stylish coiffure.

“What’d I tell you?” Kokichi preened. “No living creature could forget a face like mine.”

“You’re right,” King quipped back “It’s a face that haunts nightmares.”

“A face only a mother could love.” Rook chimed in.

“And yours gave you away after just one look!” Chirped Bishop.

“Hey maybe that Saihara guy wants to try lovin’ it instead.” Queen interjected suggestively

“Okay, okay, can it everyone,” Kokichi raised his hand to silence the spontaneous roast. “I’m thinking.”

“Club,” He pointed at his second shortest croney.. “Where are we heading?”

Club, who to his credit had been extremely focused on being polite and waiting for his turn and had definitely earned a heist after mixing ten liters of knock-out drugs in the back of a plane, exclaimed, “Theresthiscasino-” like he had been holding his breath, “-andtheyjustgotthesefancynewlightfixtures and, and, alsothesevintagearcadeconsoles-”

“Sounds cool.” Kokichi’s tone didn’t give away the fact that he had no preference as to where their next hit was and only had getting out of Paris in mind. “Where’s it at?”

“Uh. Like, Reno. Which is in Nevada. I think.”

Kokichi frowned. “Nevada? Is that like a country in South America or something?”

“Nah, it’s one of the United States.” Informed Ace, the only member who ever got genuinely interested in sight-seeing and therefore the only one who looked at maps that weren’t building schematics.

Kokichi squinted at that. “We were just in the states. You know I’d rather jump off a building than rob the same place twice.”

“Boss, you know, actually Nevada is further from D.C. than France is from Ukraine.”

“What? But aren’t they in the same country?”

“Yeah, the U.S.A. is just broken like that.”

Ugh. Weird. Maybe Kokichi should also look at a map of the world some day.

“Fine, okay, I guess since you twisted my arm, we’ll have to go to Reno.” If Kokichi remembered correctly telephones calling from France started with the area code of one of five regions. Paris had the code of 01, but if they were on the western outskirts it may be 02, or 03 on the eastern outskirts. Then the rest of the phone numbers were eight more randomly assigned numbers. “Let’s head out. Queen, do you still have that program for a spam call bot you showed me three months ago?”

“Uhh maybe, but I’d need wifi for that.”

“Okay.” He stood up, pulling out his phone to do some quick googling. “We’re gonna split in two groups. Red smiles with me in group one, we’re driving out to the Tours Val de Loire Airport down south. Make sure you have the right cover story IDs, it’s a three hour drive so prepare yourselves. Bishop, you’re going to have to do my makeup in the car. Everyone else will be in the other van with Queen, group A. After you’ve found a source of wifi, you five will be calling in some false reported sightings. Not too many, but enough in specific places we won’t be going that it’ll misdirect the police. I’ve written down the phone number rules for France on this napkin. If it seems like we’re in the clear you can overflow the system if you want to. Message us with progress updates and we’ll confer about flights and cargo control after group one has reached Tours Val de Loire. Group A will take off from the Orly airport and we’ll meet at Reno-Tahoe International in a few days. I've sent a message in the groupchat with everything I’ve just said, so don’t worry if you missed a detail it’s all there verbatim. Let’s get rolling.”

“Yes, Boss!” The members of DICE said with varying levels of conviction.

Kokichi handed Queen the napkin he had written on as the rest of DICE started to stand up from the four seater cafe booth they’d all crammed into like a clown car. He grabbed another napkin that he would use to write the next note to interpol. What would the six layers of cipher be this time? What about a set of random symbols equated to numbers that would represent the coordinates of katakana strokes in a one unit box which would then translate to english letters in a polyalphabetic cipher which would reveal the riddle? Wait that was only five layers. Eh, he could work on it in the-

Kokichi saw detective Saihara’s photograph on the monitor out of the corner of his eye and his swirling thoughts came to a momentary hallt.. It seemed like the picture had been taken hurriedly outside of the Paris de Gaulle. It was blurry and a little dark. All Kokichi could really see was that his shirt was half untucked and his hair was so messy you could hardly tell he had eyes. Kokichi found himself wishing he could get a good look at those eyes. Just to tell what the detective was thinking.

Not that it mattered.

Kokichi closed the computer and slid it over to Queen as he exited the booth.

As he handed it over, Queen gave him an odd look, like he had noticed something. “Where’d you get that cut, boss?” he asked.

“I punched through a window with my bare hands, just to feel something again...” Kokichi replied, putting on an exaggerated grimace.

Queen gave him a look that said ‘what did I expect’ and followed the rest of the gang out of the shop.

The Louvre heist was as good as over. He’d gotten away with it already.

Kokichi wondered if any of the heists to come would be at all helpful in the war against tedium he had been fighting his entire life.

“If I have anything to say about it, yes they will be.”

Kokichi realized he was fidgeting with the bandage on his finger.

…

Good bye, Paris.

#shuichi x kokichi #shuichi saihara #shuichi danganronpa #kokichi ouma #kokichi danganronpa #oumasai #fanfiction #Phantom Thief AU #yeah im still here haha #this fic is long and im still working on it #Thank you everyone for your support!#danganronpa v3 #drv3 #danganronpa #I would read on AO3 if you need warnings #writing

27 notes · View notes

stoopsbookstore · 5 years

Text

Stress Relief -M-

Synopsis - Doyoung is rethinking his decision to give Jaehyun's cousin an internship. He's constantly messing up the shipping orders, he spills coffee everywhere, he takes too many breaks, but Jaemin is his best friend's cousin, so Doyoung deals with it. One day, Doyoung has been stressed out so much because of Jaemin's bullshit, he freaks out. His maid offers a source of relief.

Warnings - Office sex, Window sex, Phone masturbation (it's on speaker while they're doing it), mentions of a pregnancy/breeding kink, Power dynamic (CEO/Maid), Soft Dom!Doyoung (probably could've written him more dommy, but I was feeling a bit soft)

"I know he's your cousin, but holy hell, Jay, Jaemin can't do shit right," Doyoung held his head in his hand as he talked to Jaehyun about his cousin's daily antics, "he fucking ordered 500 tons of printer paper, we only needed 50."

"It's a simple mistake, I promise. He's just a ki-"

"He's 19 and he's a dumbass. This isn't the fuckup he's done," Y/N came over to Doyoung, handing him a peppermint tea and a croissant to Jaehyun, "Thank you, Y/N. I know you're related and I'm doing this as favor, but shit, dude, you couldn't given him an internship? If his parents wanted Jaemin to get experience, why not just do it with family?"

Jaehyun wiped his mouth as he took a bite of his pastry, "Blatant favoritism. Since we are related, the company would see it as a conflict of interests. It was either ask you or have him clean vomit up at the carnival with Yuta's younger brother, Yuto."

"Baking soda or corn starch," Y/N started wiping down the trophy case, full of Doyoung's medals and awards from years past and present, "Dries it out, that way you can easily vaccum or sweep it up. No smell as well."

Doyoung nodded towards Jaehyun, a smug smirk on his face, "See? No smell."

"Ok, asshole," Jaehyun threw a napkin at the older male, "I'll talk to him, tell him to shape up or clean up. Y/N, always a pleasure. I wish you could come clean for me, but what from I've heard, sounds like Doyoung gives you a hell of a paycheck."

"3 year contact, full benefits, an pet-friendly apartment with half-priced rent as well as Holidays off? I sure hope that's a hell of a paycheck," Doyoung stood up, shaking Jaehyun's hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Jaeh-" Doyoung was standing in his office, pants soaked in various caffeinated beverages, his phone on speaker.

"I know! I know! He accidentally spilt coffee on your pants in front of Mr. Park and his son, Jinyoung! Just send him ho-"

"We were so close to a possible merger! A small startup was in my grasp! He even flirted with Y/N as she was cleaning up his mess!"

"Listen, I'll knock some sense into him, just one last chance, please?"

Doyoung ran his fingers through his hair, Y/N taking Doyoung's jacket as she attempted to clean, "Fine. One last chance, but if he fucks up again, he's out."

Before Jaehyun could say his thanks, Doyoung hung out, slamming the speaker, a piece flying onto the floor. His head pressed against the desk in annoyed anger as Y/N stopped cleaning his jacket to grab the disjointed speaker piece. Doyoung noticed as Y/N bent down, her skirt rode up, a sliver of her black cheeky panties showing. He quickly diverted his attention when she straightened up, placing the small object on his desk. Doyoung fiddled with his tie as he continued to watch Y/N cleaning his office, poorly hiding the thoughts in his mind.

"Y/N, you're always so hard working. Don't you have a social life? Any friends or boyfriends or girlfriends," Doyoung tried to talk in his smoothest voice, concealing his speech of any suspicious tones.

"Nope, I'm single and I don't really go out. Honestly, Mr. Dongyoung," a strain in his pants emerged as Y/N's voice became more sensual to Doyoung, maybe a sip of water would help, "I just kinda stay home, watch some Netflix or Hulu and play with my cat."

Doyoung choked on the water a bit, his mind dirtying up Y/N's sentence, "your cat?"

Y/N grabbed the feather dust out of the office closet, her movements much more fluid than Doyoung has ever realized, "Yeah. She's a little puffball, only about 2 years, her name is Mimi."

"Oh," Doyoung let out a relieved sigh, a hand reaching under his desk while his free hand continued scrolling mindlessly through a document, hovering the mouse over his two screens, "I bet she's really cute."

Y/N chuckled, "She's an asshole, but a great cuddler. So basically it's like having a boyfriend, except the cat knows how to take care of itself."

Doyoung palmed himself through his pants, continuing to watch Y/N as he pretended to be interested in the annoying numbers that appeared on his screens. Y/N smirked, feigning innocence as if she hadn't noticed Doyoung craning his neck when she bent over again to fluff the couch cushions.

"Is there anything else you need help with, Mr. Dongyoung? I know you're stressed, so I can stay if you'd like," Y/N subtly bit her lip at the growing tension, walking over to fill his mug up with more tea, "maybe help with some stress? I know peppermint tea can help."

Doyoung chuckled at the question, "we have very different ideas of stress relief, Y/N."

"What's your idea of relief?"

"Call me forward, but bending you ov-"

The phone rang, Jaehyun's number appearing on the caller ID. Doyoung breaking out of his melodic way of speaking and answering it with anger and annoyance, Y/N hiding her surprise at Doyoung's bluntness.

"What, Jaehyun?" Doyoung almost growled, a shot of hotness going to Y/N's core, "I'm sort of busy."

"So I talked to Jaemin," a groan out of Doyoung's mouth as Y/N placed his tea on the desk, rubbing his shoulders, "Don't groan. He says he's sorry for messing up the order, he said Ten's handwriting was atrocious and he misread it. He also said he wasn't flirting with Y/N, he was just trying to be nice."

"I think he was being more than just nice. Talking to Taeyong about how he would love to make out with her in the 15th story hallway closet?" Doyoung heard a little giggle from Y/N, a sense of annoyance coming over him. Doyoung pointed to the couch, Y/N thinking he meant to clean it, but as she went to grab the lint roller, he signaled her to just sit on it. He scooted his seat from out under the desk, turning it to face Y/N, the bulge in his pants noticeable, "that's not being nice, Jung."

"He said that? The little shit told me Taeyong said that!," the air started to grow hotter between the two, Doyoung pointing to the door and making a locking motion with his hands, Y/N making her way, locking it as Jaehyun continued to defend his cousin, "anyway, he just became an adult this year, we did stupider shit when we were his age."

"Name one time I fucked up by ordering 10 times the amount of product needed or I tried hitting on my boss's employee," Doyoung motioned Y/N to take off her panties, Y/N sliding them down her legs as she walked back to the couch, throwing them at Doyoung, the fabric landing on his black suit pants, "Seriously dude, one time."

Jaehyun stammered as he failed to register one time that Doyoung had fucked up as badly as Jaemin, "there was that one time at Cube Cafe where you spilt coffee o-"

"On Y/N. Who, if I remember correctly, said it was her fault, we exchanged numbers and three years later, in a cruel twist of fate, became my employee," Doyoung unzipped his pants, his free hand going in his pants, the sight entrancing Y/N to start teasing herself, "The defense being one situtation was two college students being dumbasses on campus while the other is a college intern being a dumbass towards a CEO."

"Fuck, I hate when you're right. But you know you did that on purpose so you could 'talk to the pretty girl with the caramel frappuccino', don't even lie" Jaehyun sighed over the phone, Y/N unzipping the back of her uniform, exposing a matching black bra, Doyoung finally pulling out his cock as he started pumping, "I'll talk to Yuta, see if he can give a job to Jaemin that doesn't involve vomit. I'll call you in a bit, bye dude."

"Alright bye," the line went dead as Doyoung let out a growlish moan, his eyes watching Y/N push in one finger, "God, I needed this release."

"So you were saying?" Y/N pulled out one of her breasts from her bra, rolling the nipple with her free hand as she added another finger, "how do you relieve your stress?"

"Where was I before I was interrupted?" Doyoung kicked off his pants, pulling his boxers up as he walked over to Y/N, pulling her fingers out of herself as he helped her up to her feet, "I think I was talking about bending you over my desk, in your maid outfit or even naked. But I like the outfit better, it just reeks of desperation, so hot and passionate, I couldn't wait to strip your clothes, so I just said fuck it and started fucking you."

The two walked over to Doyoung's desk, him grabbing at the papers and files, moving them out of the way, Y/N playfully swaying her hips. Doyoung pulled down his boxers again, this time taking them off as he leaned Y/N over his desk. He flipped her skirt up and pulled her bra all the way down as he reached in his desk junk drawer to pull out a condom. Rolling it on, he rubbed his cock over Y/N's core, gathering some of the wetness that had occured.

"Of course, a condom for safety. As much as I'd love seeing you with a swollen belly and covered in my cum, we can't do that right now. You'd look so beautiful carrying my kids, then I'd get to spoil them as they grow up," Doyoung pushed into Y/N, a moan escaping her lips as her breasts pressed against the glass table, the coldness bringing a new sensation against her warmimed body, "we can talk about that later, if you'd like. To be honest, I've thought about you and I doing this ever since I spilt that drink on you."

"Was it in purpose like Jaehyun said?" Y/n questioned as Doyoung kept thrusting, the glass desk moving in rhythm with the pair, "needed a reason to talk to me? It seems like you got a bunch of more confidence."

"Could you tell? Becoming a partial CEO with your brother of a multi-million clothing company can do wonders," Doyoung admittedly regretfully pulled out, bringing Y/N to his chest as he became nibbling on her neck.

"Why did you pull out?" Y/N arched her back and started rubbing her thighs together, "do you have a meeting?"

"No, hell no, not until later. I would cancel it if I did," Doyoung walked over to the floor-to-ceiling window behind his desk, opening the curtains as he looked over the 6th story pane of glass, "come here."

Y/N walked over to Doyoung, his hands finding their way to her hips as he turned her around, unzipping her top the rest of the way and throwing it aside, leaving Y/N in just her bra, skirt and stockings, Doyoung slipping off her kitten heels as he kissed up her legs.

"So gorgeous, so beautiful," Doyoung kissed Y/N's back, shivers spreading throughout her body as Doyoung reached her neck, light bites accessorizing her skin, his long fingers tangling in her hair, pushing into Y/N, "I don't think you've seen my house in the few years we've known each other, we should change that, show you some of my toys I have, maybe get you some."

The sharp, calculated thrusts and smug taunts from Doyoung made Y/N hum in ecstasy, Doyoung's free hand reaching down Y/N's skirt to play with her clit. Y/N grabbed at Doyoung's forearm as he started at a fast pace, his fingers rolling the small bundle as he kept up fucking Y/N into the window. Doyoung pulled out for a second time, spinning Y/N so the duo is now face to face, Y/N biting Doyoung's lips. Slipping in one more time, Doyoung lifted Y/N's leg to rest on his hip.

"I want to take you on a date, I want to make you mine, years of seeing you in those skirts and shirts that my brother has designed," Doyoung leaned down to kiss Y/N's breasts, his thrusts starting to be more sloppy, "your tits peeking out of them, your skirt raising up everytime you reach up to clean the higher shelves."

Y/N leaned down to bite down on Doyoung's neck, her moans muffled and vibrating against his sweaty skin. Doyoung felt his high coming on, his thrusts slowing down, milking every drop into the condom. He pulles out, tying the condon and throwing it away. Noticing Y/N didn't get off, he dropped to his knees, spreading her legs apart, kissing her thighs.

"Doyoung, you don't have to do that, I'll be fine, I should get back to work, the 4th floor needs to be done and I have a vibr-"

"It's the gentlemen thing to do," Doyoung kiss her clit as Y/N leaned her head back on, the pleasure spreading through her body, "I'll have Hongjoong do it, don't worry."

Doyoung sucked and lightly nibbled on Y/N's clit, pushing 3 fingers into Y/N as he thrusted them in and out, working to Y/N's high, he would feel bad if he got off and she didn't, even though he's her boss and this started because he need some sort of release. Y/N's thighs started to shake as Doyoung continued licking at anything he could find, his fingers going at a merciless pace once he found the spot that made Y/N go high-pitch in her moans. Y/N didn't even notice her high had came until Doyoung stood up and brought her in for an intense kiss, her essence on his lips as she could taste herself on him. Doyoung helped Y/N over to the couch, taking off his jacket and giving it to Y/N as he gathered her clothes.

"I can't believe I just screwed my bo-"

"The next word out of your mouth better be boyfriend," Doyoung kissed her forehead as he walked over to his desk, looking for a specific piece of paper and calling the front desk, "Hey Ms. Sana, can you cancel the rest of my appointments for the rest of the day, Ms. Y/n isn't feeling well, so I think I'm going to give her a ride home and make sure that she's okay. Also, ask Hongjoong to clean the fourth floor, I'll give an extra 1,000 dollar bonus this month."

"Ok, Mr. Kim, I'll do that right away."

The phone hung up with a click as Doyoung texted the valet to bring the car around to the back, Y/N putting on her shirt and Doyoung's jacket. Doyoung helped Y/N up as he slid her shoes on.

"Where's my underwear, those are kinda my favorite pair."

Doyoung took them out of his pocket with a smirk, "they're mine too and I think I'm going to keep them with me. I'll get you more pairs, one in every single shade, hue and color."

The pair walked out of the office, Sana looking concerned and shouting an admittedly adorable "Y/N fighting!" as Doyoung and Y/N made their way down the hall to the back elevator. They waited for the elevator to come to the 6th floor, Doyoung's hand gazing over Y/N's.

"So, I assume we're going to your house."

"Like I told you, I've known you for a few years and I want to show you my house."

Y/N sleepily groaned, "I kinda want a shower and a nap first."

"Fine, a shower and a nap first," Doyoung put his arm around Y/N's waist as they stepped in the back elevator, her head resting on his chest as she curled up into him. Then with one last devious smirk on his face.

"But then, I'll give you a tour. Maybe show you some of my playthings."

#nct #nct 127 #nct imagines #nct au #nct scenarios #nct smut #doyoung #Kim Doyoung #Kim Dongyoung #slytherin bunny #my writings

207 notes · View notes

moeruhoshi · 5 years

Text

kinda shitty but its for a school assignment and I think you’ll be into it tho tell me if there’s anything I should fix ~ 5k words

Lucy took deep and uneven breaths as she sat by herself in the bathroom, staring down at the third positive test she’d taken; she didn’t want to believe it. Her mind reeled uncomfortably and her stomach turned with nausea she had oddly been feeling the past couple of weeks.

“Cana…” She spoke shakily into her phone, “I need you to come over...right now,”

“What’s going on, Lu?” Cana groaned as she pulled herself through her window, stumbling onto the bed and next to the blonde who sat curled in her comforter. “It has to be serious if ya didn’t let me in through the front, you’re just lucky I’ve had experience scaling walls,” The brunette went on as she sat herself up, her chatter faltering at the sight of Lucy’s tears. “Hey, really…what’s going on?”

“I’m pregnant, Cana,” She pushed out, throat groaning with hoarseness as she shoved the evidence toward her.

“Oh geez…” She said slowly as she stared at the sticks, eyes filled with worry as they turned to her friend. “How late are you?”

“Eight weeks. I just thought my cycle was irregular, it’s happened before so I wasn’t worried,” She sighed and sniffled before going on. “But I’ve been getting sick more often, so I figured I should be safe and check…and now...what the hell am I going to do? My dad will throw me out as soon as he finds out, and we’re still in school! And what am I supposed to tell Natsu? I can’t give him news like this, he’ll be so upset with me...”

“Hey, hey, slow down! One worry at a time, okay? If anything, you know my dad wouldn’t let you end up on the street, so you’d come live with us. Not that I doubt Natsu wouldn’t take you home with him. You should know better, he’d be thrilled! And would do anything to take care of you two,” Cana began as she laid Lucy in her lap, threading her fingers calmly through her hair. “We’re two months away from graduating, you’ll barely be showing by then. You can always take your first year off and take care of your kid, get a scholarship with all your smarts, and make a living like you always planned to. Adapting to the situation is the best thing you can do for yourself, so stop freakin’ out. All of us’ll be there for you two, too; babysitting, hospital bills, groceries and diapers, the works. You’re stupid if you think you’re in this alone, don’t you think?”

“Entirely,” Lucy mumbled from her place pressed against Cana’s stomach. “You always know how to calm me down,”

“Well no shit, I know how amazing I am,” She scoffed and laughed as she folded over and hugged the blonde. “…so when are we telling everyone else?”

“Not sure, but I have to tell Natsu first, or well, second,”

“Hehe, yeah, I always knew you liked me more than that pyro. I get the honor of namin’ the lil’ squirt too, don’t I?”

“I’m sorry but you’re the stupid one if you think I’d let you do that,”

Lucy felt her stomach knotting into twists as she took the following weekend to go visit her boyfriend, his home two trains away from her neighborhood. It was a thirty-minute ride that whisked by in what felt like thirty seconds which did not help her calm down in the slightest.

There was time to think about how to approach the subject with Natsu, and Lucy planned to stop by his favorite bakery, getting some snacks that would act as a buffer for when he probably took the news as an unsettling shock.

Natsu loved her more than chili peppers, which was really saying something when it came to him and his spices. But his love for her was a fact that she knew well enough. She could practically see just how happy Cana was sure he would be, the image of her boyfriend jumping up and down and swinging her around playing through in its faux fantasy-style...She’d make sure to set down the things she bought in advance if such an occasion really occurred.

Even with all the worry concerning herself, Lucy could only think about Natsu’s situation. He worked late hours to provide for himself ever since the fateful day that suddenly ended the lives of his parents. Luckily enough he was left with their family home, otherwise, he’d surely be staying on Gray’s couch right about now.

He had school to pay for in the future and work always kept him so busy, she didn’t want to overload him with even more to worry about once she revealed the subject of her pregnancy.

Feeling the vibration of her phone in her pocket as she walked into his building, Lucy looked down at her screen to see a text pinging from Cana.

‘Quit stressing out and calm down already’

‘You’re not stalking me, are you? How’d you know?’

‘I know everything, remember. It’ll be okay, I promise, so just go for it!’

Yeah, everything was going to be okay…hopefully.

She continued to take deep breaths in attempts to steady her pulse as she rode the elevator higher and higher, feeling her legs near ready to give out as the door slid open to the floor of his condo. His door was soon staring down at her, the shadow of it overcasting her meek form and further intimidating her into panicked silence.

“Luce! Took ya long enough, I’ve been waiting all morning for you!” Natsu pulled open the door as her knuckle barely grazed the wooden surface, greeting her flinch with his wide grin. He wrapped his arms tightly around the girl before she could get even a single word out, practically dragging her indoors.

“I stopped by Clover Town to get us some cake,” She choked through his strong hold, heaving as he let her go, looking down at the bag in her hand.

“Nice! Nothin’ better than their chili chocolate cake, I’ll go make us some tea to go with it,” He said with a dramatic lick of his lips, taking the bag and walking deeper into his home as she was left at the door to slip off her shoes. Lucy made sure to greet the photos of his parents set on a bureau in the hall, waving to them as she passed by.

“You don’t have work later today do you?” Lucy asked as she took a seat on his couch, relieved as he shook his head from the kitchen adjacent of where she sat.

“Nope, not until tomorrow night. Wanna stay over?” She stifled a laugh as he wiggled a knowing brow at her, setting down the tea and plated cakes as he took a seat beside her.

“Sure, if you don’t mind,” Lucy giggled as he nuzzled his head into the crook of her neck, pecking light kisses against her cheek as he guffawed.

“‘Course I don’t mind! There’s nothin’ better I could ask for,” She sighed as he wrapped his arms around her midsection, suddenly feeling an onslaught of emotion that tore at her at the most random of times. “One of the old ladies next door gave me a bunch of vegetables so we can make somethin’ nice for dinner tonight.”

“…Natsu, we need to talk,” Lucy said as she sniffled and wiped away tears. The pink-haired boy was immediately not at all delighted to be hearing that phrase, feeling his stomach quickly begin to sink.

“It’s not your dad, is it? I know he doesn’t like me all that much but that’s no reason to—“

“Dumbass, I’m not breaking up with you,” She groaned and slapped his arm before he could continue to spiral. “I didn’t mean anything other than what I said, really, I just need to talk to you,”

“Geez, what is it, Luce? Don’t scare me with your cryin’ like that,” He pouted and wiped away the stray tears on her cheeks, settling a hand over hers for reassurance.

“I…I’m…Natsu, I’m…”

“Hey hey, calm down,” Natsu shifted himself to take her in his arms again as her chest stuttered with panic, able to feel her body shaking through his. “You’re okay, it’s okay, Luce...”

His heart dropped as he felt her begin to cry again, equally as overwhelmed by whatever the hell was going on to make her so upset.

“You don’t have to say it if it scares ya too much, I’m not gonna force you to say anything, just please tell me that you’re not sick,”

“I’m fine,” She hiccuped, tightening her arms around his waist. “I’m sorry...I didn’t think it’d be so hard to say. I feel like if I do, it’ll change everything and I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet,”

“Change is bound to happen, ya know that. It did when we started dating, when your mom and my parents…when I had to start working, things just happen, and we have to learn to live with the changes left behind, yeah? It might be hard at first or sometime in the future, but we’ll get through it together, we always do,”

“Yeah…yeah, you’re right,” Her teary eyes stared up into the ones showering her with love and reassurance, his lips tasting the saltiness of her tears as he pressed another kiss to her cheek. “I love you, Natsu.”

“I love ya too, Luce.”

“I’m pregnant,” She breathed out in quick words, pulling herself away from him to walk and grab a tissue from the kitchen. Natsu was virtually stone, as she entirely expected him to be, eyes wide and unmoving as he processed the news.

“...I’m about eight weeks late,” She began to explain the situation in further details, sitting next to him again as she reached over and carefully sipped her steaming cup of tea before setting it down. “I don’t have a bump yet, but I took a few tests and—“

“I love you so fucking much! Oh my god, so much! I’ll love you and our baby till the day I die, I promise!” Lucy squealed as Natsu glomped her with another monstrous hug, showering her cheeks with kiss upon kiss, refusing to let her go for even a moment.

“You’re crying, you know,” Lucy laughed as she could hear his quiet sobs through the onslaught of kisses.

“I’m so happy,” He mumbled against her cheek, voice watery as he spoke. “So happy, I mean it...I’m so happy.”

“I’m glad,” She smiled, thumbs wiping away his tears. “We’re about to start a family, how weird does that sound?”

“Not weird at all, you’ve been my family since the day I met you,” He confessed, kissing the center of her palm as his free hand wandered to lie against her belly.

“We’re gonna have a kid and you’re gonna be my wife, that’s pretty hot, don’t you think?” Lucy rolled her eyes and slapped his chest, Natsu snickering as he leaned against her collarbone. “Lucy Dragneel,”

“You mean Natsu Heartfilia,” She scoffed, wrapping her arms around his head softly. “I hope we have a girl.”

“A boy! A little Igneel, but Layla is a cute name,” He smiled at the thought of naming their kids after his father and her mother.

“I was thinking Nancy, or maybe Ryuu?”

“Ryuu! Definitely Ryuu. Ryuu works both ways, yeah? Dad would’ve liked that one,”

“Yeah, he would have,” She sighed with a delicate curve of her lips.

“Think we can invite the gang over for dinner tonight too? I don’t want to put off telling them,” Lucy asked, threading her fingers carefully through his hair.

“That sounds like a good idea.”

“...Aren’t you worried?” Lucy asked suddenly midst their calm embrace in an attempt to relieve her mind of the worry that still swarmed in murky purple waves.

“About what?” Natsu asked, his voice muttering as he spoke into the crook of her neck.

“School, money, what my dad will say,” She said, the pink-haired boy sighing as he lifted himself up.

“Oh yeah,” He frowned, tossing himself to her side, both of them staring up at the ceiling, sitting shoulder to shoulder. “Well, if he asks, or maybe before you tell him. Do you...want to get an abortion?”

“I couldn’t do that,” Lucy’s lips turned sour as she moved to hold her stomach. “I know that’s still an option for us and would be an easy resolution, but this isn’t a problem for me...it’s our child and I want our child, Natsu,”

“Me too,” He grinned, placing his hand over hers, leaning against the couch as he turned to face her once again.

“I’m sure he won’t be happy and Cana said she’d take me in if he throws me—“

“What?! You told Cana about this before you told me?!” He gasped and she rolled her eyes with an exhausted smile.

“Of course I did, who do you think told me to tell you? I was honestly scared that you’d be mad about this,”

“Mad? No way! We’re always safe when we...but you never know. If anything, I’d be mad at myself for knockin’ you up,” She giggled at his phrasing as he pouted. “You can tell me anything and I’d never be mad at you,”

“Even if I kissed—“

“Say Gray and I won’t let you name our baby,”

“Okay, okay, sorry,” Lucy chuckled as she positioned to face Natsu who steamed over the thought of his best friend even trying to get near her.

“But you could come live with me if anything like that happens,” Natsu shrugged. “I should start takin’ care of you as soon as I can,”

“I thought about that, but you still work a lot. Between cramming for finals and future college classes, you’ll barely get any sleep. I won’t tell my dad until after we graduate, but I’ll still need a lot of looking after. I don’t want to stress you out with my health.”

“Do I really need to go to school, then? If you need taking care of then I––“

“Don’t even think about it,” Lucy glared as she flicked the tip of Natsu’s nose. “Your parents left you money for school, you’re going. How else do you think you’re going to take care of us when we’re older?”

“I guess so…” He grumbled and rubbed his nose. “But what about you?”

“I don’t think I should start school until the baby is at least one, or maybe two...I’m not sure since I know we won’t have someone around to keep an eye on them. Maybe I’ll do online classes? ”

“I don’t mind ya bein’ a housewife, it’d be pretty awesome comin’ home to you makin’ dinner,” Natsu said with a satisfied nod, thinking of the enticing thought of the smell of her cooking filling the house with its warmth.

“I think you should start school whenever you’re ready, until then I know I can take care of us, I’ve been saving a lot and I can work and go to school, no problem.”

“But it’s college, I want you to have fun with everyone. It’d be a waste for you to worry about me when you could enjoy the time to go party and all that other college stuff,”

“Weirdo, don’t even joke about that kinda stuff. You’re my priority, I don’t care if I ever sleep again, I’m gonna do good by you and make sure you get everything you need.” Lucy found herself biting her bottom lip at the sight of Natsu’s serious gaze, she always loved that look in his eyes. Being able to speak freely about her worries with him put her mind at ease as well, Natsu really knew just what to say in any situation. Even if it was only a rough sketch of their future, Lucy was sure they’d do just fine. “There’s nothing more fun than us being together.”

“You’re what?!” Erza gasped as she and their friends sat around Natsu’s table. It was later in the day and about two hours since their all over the place conversation. Their friends had soon been called up for an invitation to join them for dinner, no one bothering to reject such an invitation when it came to Lucy’s culinary skills.

“Two months along,” Lucy grinned while Natsu laughed at everyone’s shocked faces. “I’m not showing yet but if you want to see the tes—“

“Lu-chan! Oh my goodness, Lu-chan, I’m so happy for you,” Levy said as she began to tear up, Juvia beside her and already in tears.

“J-Juvia has never been so happy for Lucy-san…” She blubbered, although Lucy was sure her happiness for them came from the true confirmation there was really no chance she felt anything for Gray. (Even though such a thing was obviously untrue, Juvia was just jealous of any other girl that happened to be close with the raven-haired boy.)

“I knew before the rest of y’all! I’m on a whole ‘nother tier!” Cana cackled at the sight of their blanched expressions, slapping her knee as she became hysterical with laughter.

“Happy? How are you guys not...scared?” Gray gulped, his skin suddenly clammy and pale as his spine shivered, unable to find the emotion that elated the two girls. “And how are you two not freaking out?”

“Luce and I talked it out, we’re alright,” Natsu said with a smile as he stared at the blonde currently squished between Levy and Juvia.

“Salamander as a dad…I can’t see something like that,” Gajeel shivered at the thought of his cousin holding a little bundle of joy. “His dumbass would drop it, I hope you know,”

“Oi! I would not!”

“Yeah, man,” Gray scoffed, the energy of a small scuffle subsiding the anxiety he felt toward the shocking news. “I’m pretty sure you would, you’ve got serious butterfingers.”

“I wouldn’t drop my own kid so shut it you freaks,” His throat rumbled with a growl as the two snickered and knocked fists together at the expense of pissing off their friend.

“Saying things like that will just bring bad luck, so quit it.” Lucy sighed as Natsu was ready to climb over the table and rip into the two teasing him.

“What...I mean what, what are you going to do? This is a big responsibility,” Erza asked, feeling genuine concern for the two who she thought were entirely underthinking what they supposed they were ready to take on.

“I’m going to tell my dad about it when we graduate, and we’ll take it from there for the most part,” Lucy began, her friends listening closely to the rough sketch of their prepared plans. “Natsu is going to go to school and work while I stay home to raise our baby,”

“Are you sure, Lu-chan? What about your plans to be a writer, and you already got into Magnolia U with the rest of us, can’t you still come?”

“I would if I could afford it, but I’m sure my dad’s going to cut me off as soon as I tell him,” THe group sighed with a bitter understanding, knowing the two were on pretty bad terms at the moment. “And I don’t mind having to put off my plans while we get things figured out,”

“I just, I don’t see how you can,” Erza frowned. “It feels like you two are going to be giving a lot up. I don’t want you to regret something like this if you’re not sure what you’re getting into.”

“I know we don’t know a lot,” Natsu began as he spoke up, looking to Lucy as he broke out a soft smile. “And I know it’s risky and we’ll have to grow up real quick if we’re gonna be doing this, but I want a family with Lucy. She’s giving me a family again, y’know? And I can’t say no to something I’ve been missin’ like crazy.”

“Hey, if you start crying, I just might and you know I never do,” Cana felt her bottom lip quivering as Natsu shed a couple of calm tears, the table of friends shyly crying together at the conclusion of his short speech.

“I’m sorry if I came off a bit harsh just now,” Erza mumbled as she dabbed her eyes with a napkin. “I’m worried is all, but I’ll respect your decision, one hundred percent. We all will.”

“I know,” Lucy smiled as she held the hand of the fiery redhead. “Thank you.”

“Welp, that decides it for the rest of us, doesn’t it?” Gray grinned as he leaned back in his seat. “We’ll be this kids family too, you guys can count on us if you need anything. I hear college parties are overrated anyway.”

“Can we eat already? I’m done with the sob fest, the center of attention should be that lasagna now,” Gajeel interjected, getting up from his seat to begin bringing in the plates and food still sitting idle on the kitchen counters.

The two months before the small group's graduation steadily came upon them, signifying the day that was marked in Lucy’s calendar with red marker, the day she resolved to speak with her father.

Everyone was worried and already planning for the results that were sure to reveal themselves as Lucy being tossed out of her family home. I mean, what other way was there for a father to react. Especially when it was her father.

Jude Heartfilia. A formerly warm-hearted man now colder than ice, having been this way ever since his wife died.

Layla Heartfilia. She was the light of his life and Lucy’s, a woman whose kindness radiated in replication to the sun itself. He had been sure that even her smile was able to bring wilted flowers back to life.

It was a tragic and unfortunate early end to her life when one day she became too ill and never got better. Since then, he behaved as though she had never existed, refusing to mention her name or even look at another picture of her. Nor did he want to look at Lucy, considering just how much of a resemblance to her mother she was. The spitting image of the older blonde, which only resulted to pain his heart even more.

His coldness created a boundary between him and his daughter, their relationship soon reduced to nothing but passing conversations and usual strict parent notions that insisted she stay at the top of her class and aim for perfection in every setting. The pain of his loss resulted in the pain of her life, and the rift between them had grown too wide to ever find a way to come back together; at least in Lucy’s mind.

But now, here she was, sitting in his den on an entirely too uncomfortable leather couch as he sat across from her in his armchair. Natsu was beside her for moral support and planned to take the majority of the blame for the argument was sure to implode between them.

Just as she was about to speak, his phone rang at the large desk settled in the opposite corner of the room, postponing their discussion a moment further as the two now had to wait for his call to end.

“Geez, I think I might puke,” Lucy groaned in a quiet whisper, Natsu immediate to turn his attention to the mention of any sickness.

“Really? You mean it? I’ll take you to the bathroom right now if you’re feeling morning si––”

“Oh my goodness, it’s because I’m nervous,” She spat at his over concern for her health. “You do this every time I barely mention feeling sick,”

“Hey, I’m allowed to be worried about you,” He shrugged, pouting as she rolled her eyes, but reluctantly gave up the topic before her annoyance with him built up and shot her into a mood. “I’m nervous too. Promise you’ll stop him if he tries to murder me?”

“Maybe,” She shrugged in a similar manner, hiding a smile as Natsu gasped dramatically, holding a hand over his heart at the shock of her words.

“I can’t believe you––”

“So? What is so important that you had to schedule a meeting with me?” Natsu snorted as he was interrupted a second time, finding it funny how Lucy had to schedule a legitimate meeting with her father for them to have this discussion. Sure, he was busy with running his business, but c’mon. Either way, he quickly zipped his lips as Jude gave him a sideways glance as he returned to his seat across from them.

“Well, dad…” Lucy started, subtly gripping Natsu’s hand as she took a deep breath. “I wanted to tell you that Natsu and I...well we’re...”

“Spit it out, hmm? I don’t have all day, the office just called and I have a meeting with some clients so if you could––”

“We’re having a baby,” Natsu said as he could see Lucy struggle to speak up against the natural glare her father cast upon them. “And we’re keeping it.”

“...What…?” Jude’s voice was a mixture of confusion and anger that escalated in vibrato and temperament, practically able to shake the books off the shelves behind them as he grew louder. “What is the meaning of this?! Pregnant?! When, what, why?! And you’re keeping it?!”

“Yes, we’re keeping it,” Lucy glared as her own voice began to rise against her father’s. “And nothing you can say is going to change that. We’re going to have a family, dad.”

“Do you even know what you’re talking about?! A family?” Jude groaned in aggravation, his body twitching, unsure if it should stand or stay seated, his fingernails pinching into the fabric of his armchair. “You’re a child, you’re both children, what––I cannot believe…!”

“I know we are, sir,” Natsu cleared his throat as he took Lucy’s hand in his. “But we’re ready to do what it takes to start a family either way.”

“How could you be so stupid, Lucy? I’m honestly...so disappointed,” Jude frowned, his face falling into his hand as he hid his eyes and shook his head. “With this boy, of all people…”

“I wasn’t looking for your acceptance,” Lucy bit back her anger and frustrated tears as she spoke. “Of Natsu or our child. Things happen...we were safe and did everything right, but things happen, dad! I’m sooo sorry I couldn’t be perfect for you. Anyways...that was all I wanted to say. We’ll get going now,”

“This conversation isn––”

“I don’t need to hear anything else, I already know you’re going to throw me out. I’ll be staying with Cana, you don't need to––”

“My goodness, Lucy!” Jude’s voice boomed as he stood up from his chair, stopping the two who were about to leave the room. “You give a man two minutes to process something like this...I swear you can be so stubborn sometimes,”

“U-Um, w-well, I-I...”

“Could you leave us to talk, Natsu?” Her father asked, the pink-haired boy uneasy and slightly unwilling to do so, but agreed to comply.

“I’ll wait downstairs,”

“I’m sorry,” He began as Lucy retook her seat, the frustrated frown upon her lips faltering her eyebrows rose to his words. “I shouldn’t have called you stupid,”

“I’m shocked,” He began, Lucy bringing her legs to rest under her chin as she listened to her father go on. “I don’t know how you could expect anyone to just take this kind of news as something anything other than immediately shocking,”

“Everyone else was pretty okay with it,” She mumbled as he let out a light laugh.

“You guys are kids,” He scoffed and shook his head, quickly finishing his sentence before she could interject again. “You may be having a kid and be willing to grow up for it, but you’re a kid, Lucy. Everything always seems easy in theory.”

“Mhm…” She sighed, twiddling her thumbs as she suddenly felt awkward with the calmness of the discussion, kind of confused as to why her father wasn’t throwing a massive tantrum.

“I’ve been too harsh,” Jude said, his voice becoming strained as he forced the words he’d been holding down for so long emerged. “When Layla...your mother...I should have been a better parent then. But she was the one who always knew what to do, and I didn’t after she died…”

“Why bring up mom now?” Lucy’s nose burned with a bitter blush as he went on.

“What happened afterward, with us…” His eyes drooped with a somber expression. “I know how terrible I’ve been, terrible enough to make you think that I would throw you out for getting pregnant.”

“You’re...not going to?”

“I said you were a child, didn’t I? I can’t let my child go out and act as though she were an adult any more than I’ve already let her do so. I neglected your time to be a child and now look at you. All ready to grow up and start a family without me. But I’ll have none of that.”

“This...this isn’t fair at all!” Lucy began to tear up as she gripped her fist tightly closed by her side. “You decide not to parent me until now? What is this?!”

“I can’t fix the past,” Jude let out a heavy breath as he stood up, walking around the coffee table that separated them to sit beside his daughter. “And nothing I can say now will ever fix what I’ve done, but...oh, how could I have not seen it before. My daughter who looks just like her mother...Layla would kill me if I didn’t take care of you now. Nor have I ever had any intention to leave you behind.”

Lucy boiled with anger as she looked to her father, looking at the face of a man who she hadn’t seen since she was ten. Her sharp look of disdain fell when she saw the face she remembered and missed when she felt relief wash over her when he declared she wouldn’t be forgotten from his life. Gosh, she really was just a kid.

#nalu #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #natsu and lucy #natsu x lucy #nalu fanfiction #fairy tail #lucy and natsu #lucy x natsu #nalu pregnant au #nalu fluff

139 notes · View notes

comicteaparty · 4 years

Text

April 6th-April 12th, 2020 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from April 6th, 2020 to April 12th, 2020. The chat focused on Adventurers’ Guild by Phillip MacArthur.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Adventurers’ Guild by Phillip MacArthur~! (https://adventurersguildcomic.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace until April 12th, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Discussions are freeform, but we do offer discussion prompts in the pins for those who’d like to have them. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic! Whether you finish the comic or can only read a few pages, everyone is welcome to join and chat with us!

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 1

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic?

2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)?

3. Who is your favorite character?

4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most?

5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it!

6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores?

7. What do you like about the comic’s story or overall related content?

8. Overall, what do you think the comic’s strengths are?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

RebelVampire

What I liked about the beginning of the comic was just the overall pacing. The comic really takes it's time to introduce the world to you and the first set of characters, and it kind of hits that right beat for me where there's a lot of information where I don't feel overwhelmed since the pacing slows to the right tempo to make it work. My favorite moment in the comic so far is probably the battle against Razoku. Without getting too specific, I love just how epic that fight was in general, and also that a character I didn't expect was down for the count for that fight, leaving everyone else to compensate. That is not something you see in stories everyday, plus I liked getting to see Jack do some work since Jack tagged along for the quest. My favorite character at the moment is probably Li, because I have a thing for enigmatic mysterious dudes who I know so little about. Plus, he's a sorceror and I always 1000% support magic classes. As for characters interacting, probably Klaus and Li. I love the hints that they really have some history here, and I like just kind of how they balance each other out. Like sometimes Li is dumb and Klaus is the smart one and then sometimes Klaus is dumb and Li is smart. And it goes on like this for a bunch of different traits, so I like that theyre both kind of on an even footing and that they have this bond and understanding the other characters don't have with them yet. So it's like this warm thing of comfort.

RebelVampire

What I like about the art is just kind of how well it emulates RPG pixel games. Especially how dialogue and other elements are handled to replicate the UI. It's a nice touch that really just kind of sells that whole game feel aesthetic. I liked that the comic explored the moral choice between helping someone vs. fulfilling your obligation. And the tangentially related "Is it okay to lie if it's a stupid noble who wants a thing for aesthetics and frivolous reasons?" Some pretty common themes, yet still important themes always worthy of discussion. I also liked how the noble knew the lie and still just accepted it anyway, since that was 100% now the outcome I was expecting. So it really takes the exploration of that theme a bit differently. What I like about the story is the same thing I like about the art: it really nails the game feel. Like I really do feel I've been watching just an epically long cutscene to some game, but as someone who does like games and RPGs, that really appeals to me. Honestly, I'd be excited to play this as an actual game so I could use Li and cast all the magic. As for the comic's strengths, game feel which I've already discussed. But in general, like the beginning, pacing. I've seen a few comics like this one, but for most the pacing usually isn't that great since pixel art really only allows for so much action to be depicted. So pacing for these things needs to be epically different than it does for most comics. I think this one really nails it, especially with combat. The comic really shows how the combat will be epic, but it doesn't try to pad it out either and just kind of embraces the limitations that come with this specific style.

warriorneedsfood

I am having a hard time engaging in the comic. The layout wasn’t very intuitive for me and it’s very small on my tablet. When I play old school rpgs I look past the interface to get to the story, but this comic embraces the format. It makes me wish the author made a game instead of the comic. However, I didn’t get very far on the first pass. I will be hunkering down with the comic later on this week to read it to get the whole impression of the story.

RebelVampire

Once I adjusted to the layout, I actually found it way easier for mobile personally.

Since I didn't really have to zoom or squint, and the panels were very responsive to touch controls

But it is definitely far from the standard so I can see it as a point of alienation

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Gotta say, never played this kind of game so this comic isn't really for me, but I did think the format was really unique and cool

I don't have any problems reading it on my phone

Feather J. Fern

I think this premise for the layout is really interesting. I actually think it would have done really well as actually an Instagram comic due to it's scroll, square shape.

I do also have to agree if this was an actual game done on RPG Maker or something, it would fit it a lot more. But I do love the feel it is giving me.

I do have to note that the font is making it hard for me to read, since that font isn't really good for me. My own personal problem though.

I can see why they went with that choice for the old RPG feeling

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 2

9. Why do you think Myra came to Knolton, and why is she hesitant to talk to even fellow Nemians about her backstory? Additionally, why is Jack equally mysterious about his origins? How do you think the truth will change the characters’ relationships with each other?

10. Do you think Klaus will allow Kidd to join the party? If so, how will that change the current group dynamic? Additionally, how will Cedric’s secrecy effect how much trust the other’s put in him?

11. How do you think Klaus and Li met, and for what reason do you think Li joined Klaus’ clan? Additionally, what do you think Li’s backstory might be in general? Do you believe there are secrets that might change how the group sees him, or is it something more mundane?

12. Do you think the group will see Edmund or anyone else they’ve faced against again? If so, what do you think will happen? In general, how will the group’s growing fame affect them and the quests they take on?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

RebelVampire

I feel like Myra probably got exiled or something. If only cause Myra does not seem like she'd have come to Knolton by choice, and you don't conceal your backstory unless you've got embarrassing shit to hide. I assume Jack might be in the same sort of situation. I actually think if Myra and Jack talked about it, though, it'd bring them closer together, as well as the whole group. The truth sets you free and all that. As for Kidd, yes, I think Klaus will let Kidd join. Klaus seems nice like that. As for group dynamic, I think it will simultaneously make Cedric a better and worse member of the group. I kind of feel if push came to shove, Cedric would ditch the others to save Kidd, making him unreliable. But at the same time, if Kidd goes with, Cedric would probably have increased loyalty. As for Cedric's secrecy, I think it'll be a long time before anyone fully trusts him again. I get the impression that Klaus must of met Li when Li was down on his luck, and since Klaus was such a bro and a friend, of course he joined. As for Li's backstory, I actually don't have any theories, although I kind of feel Li is less secret cause of something to hide but more maybe no one asks. Though I'm sure there is at least one secret in there that will make the audience gasp. I do think the group will at least see Edmund again because Edmund seemed an important and noteworthy character who'd come back. I could also see silver lotus noble coming back for silver lotus part 2 only now its a gold lotus. Either way, in regards to Edmund, of course theyre going to fight, though I feel like someone will try to convince Edmund to join their part instead, which Edmund might be convinced somehow. In general, though, their group is definitely gonna attract big baddies and great evil, cause fame comes at a cost.

GuildmasterPhill

Hello, author of Adventurers' Guild here! Just want to chime in and say it's been a real pleasure to read all the analysis of my comic here. It's good to see some of you really getting into it, and I think this whole tea party thing is a wonderful idea. Adventurers' Guild's week is almost up, as I understand it, but I'll be around here for the last bit of it if anyone has any questions for me! (I'm REALLY cagey about storyline spoilers, though, so don't expect any of those!) Thanks again!

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 3

13. What are you most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic?

14. Any final words of encouragement for the comic?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

mathtans

Hi! Our modem died, so my internet capabilities are real limited at the moment. But I had a quick look at the start of the week and just wanted to say I think the format is really neat, since I see some back and forth debate about it. All the best with the comic!