#but it also frustrated me
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I finally finished Final Fantasy XVI
Holy shit that game was good. And that ending. I cried. Multiple times.
After the game was done I had to go for a walk to get over the ache in my chest. It’s hot as balls outside, but thankfully I did not melt into a puddle. Heat aside, it helped me get some thoughts in order.
The characters, the plot, the music and the world will live in my brain rent free for a long, long time. (Cid for favourite character, in case anyone was wondering.)
There was emotional weight behind every character.
The world feels lived in and crowded. As much as I love FFXV, one of the criticisms I have towards that game is that its world feels woefully underpopulated. Here, in FFXVI, this was very much not so. There are people and it feels like their decisions have weight. It’s not just the protagonists and the antagonists, but also the secondary and tertiary characters.
I’m a sucker for political fantasy stories, and this one absolutely hit the sweet spot for me. In its politics it made sense to me. The fight for resources, the religious aspects, the very human pride that can make everything so much worse.
And the slavery, well...
This might actually deserve its own post, but imo it lent everything an extra devious note that you couldn’t distinguish a non-magical human from a bearer (that is the English word, right? I played the game in German), if the latter didn’t have a brand on their cheek. Humans can be cruel to each other no matter how they look like.
Bearers are objectified, not considered human. And with objects you can do what you want. They don’t feel pain, and when one breaks, you can get another. Logic like that is scary, not only because of its cruelty, but also because of how plausible it can be. In the sense that it has happened before in history.
I really appreciate it that this story is, in large part, a tale against this type of thinking. Against slavery, against greed and senseless pride.
It’s about learning understanding and appreciating the world around you.
The only thing that missed its mark a bit imo, is that by the end of it all, magic is gone. I can see the sense behind it, a little bit, but I don’t like it.
Clive associates magic with greed and pain. His trauma has in large part to do with magic. He was born a bearer and hated by his mother for it, he thought a Domini murdered his brother in cold blood and was branded himself soon after, to be pressed into military service for 13 years. Only then to learn that his brother’s murderer was himself. All of that, all that pain and misery, because of magic.
So yes, I can see why Clive would think humanity would be better off without magic.
But
Wouldn’t it have been more impactful, if the people had learned to use magic responsibly, that it isn’t just an easy shortcut? What if they had found the wonder that lies in magic?
That would have gone against everything Ultima thought magic was.
Imo erasing magic is an easy cop out, but that might also be fit for a post of its own.
And it also invalidates the development the people of Valisthea went through. As well as Lubor’s whole quest line. Which honestly frustrates me a bit.
Oh yeah. The side quests are amazing. I did every single one and many build on one another into whole mini quest lines. The stories they tell make the world so much richer.
All in all, I love this game. It’s not perfect. But then again, nothing ever is.
#ffxvi#geist plays ffxvi#ffxvi spoilers#I FINISHED IT#I'm more than one emotion#this got long#my thoughts are a mess#this is all over the place#and by no means comprehensive#I don't think I articulated some of this very well#I have so many thoughts#long post#the ending was very emotional#but it also frustrated me#will I be writing fanfiction for this?#y'all bet I will#there's so many things I could talk about with this game#is there someone out there I can yell with?
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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It’s not that I don’t LIKE the Fandom Popular Pairings, it’s that I find the assumption that everyone ships them and the general all-consuming nature of said pairings to be kinda exhausting,
#the funny thing about me getting into pro////////seka is that i can FINALLY articulate this#because it somehow feels worse than in any other fandom I’ve been into#that said I’ve been thinking about this for a while#also hi. if you’re here to throw some ‘have some originality’ comment please don’t that’s not the fucking point.#it’s not ‘they suck because they’re unoriginal’ it’s ‘it’s very frustrating to feel mildly positive to neutral#about a ship everyone keeps shoving down your throat’#people can be like this with any and all ships. it’s just that the popular ones tend to have this attitude be totally inescapable
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You know those "write badly!" posts that sometimes makes the rounds to encourage all you lovely writers that it's okay that not everything is a masterpiece?
Yeah, those.
I just want all you authors out there not feeling good enough to know that i just decided to reread one of the worst fics I've ever read. Because it's one of the best fics I've ever read.
The plot is simplistic at best. The language is horrible. The pacing is nowhere to be found behind all the "and then!!!" the author peppers their writing like a carbonara with.
But
The characters. The insights into their motivations is fucking master thesis level. I cry just thinking about the way the author predicted where canon was headed years ago. And the way they Preemptively fixed all the ooc-ness the mangaka is now struggling to wrap up.
It's been living in my head rent-free for years and i wouldn't want it any other way. Just with slightly less "and then!!"
So yes, write badly.
In three years time some sucker will come back for seconds because they loved it for all the things you Did manage to do right.
#writing#writeblr#fanfiction#it frustrates me that this is literally the worst written fic I've ever finished#but it's also in my top 3 for that ship#just goes to show greatness doesn't have to be good
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(This post was sponsored by a 1+ hour commute)
#I'm so frustrated how little time and energy i have after a day is done#i didn't win the fight against depression to have lofe ruined by THAT now#lacking time and energy to go on job hunt.. it's all very small steps only#a part time job would be marvellous but what flat can be paid with that#maybe also my anxiety is stopping me from getting a new job. what if i get fired. what if it's horrible there. ahh.. i need more courage#mine capitalism#anti-capitalism#work
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i think marinette is worse at resting when she's sick but adrien is worse at sitting things out if he's injured. i have no explanation, these are just the vibes
#ml#marinette dupain cheng#adrien agreste#okay i lied i do have justifications#adrien probably just. would love being taken care of if he's sick#it's maybe something his mom used to do but not ENOUGH#and marinette would absolutely spoil him#but marinette is all I AM FINE IT IS JUST A COLD I AM FINE meanwhile she nearly falls off a rooftop in a dizzy spell#but adrien hate being kept away from ppl he loves. hates not being able to protect them. and an injury is more long-term and isolating#meanwhile...idk marinette feels to me like an injurt would leave her more defeated. she'd feel like she failed somehow#like she is SUPPOSED to be ladybug she is SUPPOSED to keep herself together to keep the city safe#so i think that would take a lot of her energy she'd be frustrated about it yes but also sort of...admit defeat#adrien would find ways to cheer her up though 🥺
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Considering that there’s another post going around that lands on this conclusion, I think it deserves its own succinct post:
When transmascs share instances of positivity to remind each other that the way we are treated isn’t all bad, it’s then used as proof of the whole of transmasc experiences being this way, and that transmascs are not oppressed as a whole.
When transmascs share instances of harm done to transmascs to raise awareness that transmascs are harmed directly within our societies, it’s used as proof that we are taking up too much room in conversations because the harm we face “isn’t bad enough”.
When transmascs share instances of outright murder of members of our community to show that no, transmasc issues are not somehow “lesser” because “we aren’t dying” because we are dying, it’s used as proof that we are trauma dumping and trying to make other people feel sorry for us—look at these AFABs being whiny and hysterical and trying to portray themselves as victims. Or that it isn’t specific enough to us so we should shut up and let other people speak for us.
Transmascs cannot speak about our experiences without being touted as an example of why transmascs as a whole should shut up.
This is erasure.
#my post#noooo I didn’t just make this post because I don’t want to interact with that other post because of personal hangups that no one else#should have about the post. truly it’s entirely a Me and My Personal Situation thing#the post is fine#I just was a little frustrated about how much I wanted to reblog and also like#not interact with it at all at the same time#so I made this post#shhhhh#transandrophobia#transmisandry#anti-transmasculinity#erasure through silencing
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toby fox needs to add like a bit of narration in deltarune abt kris like "they themmed they/themily down the stheirs" cus i cant go on seeing them constantly get he/himmed in yt comment sections
#this is my punishment for actually looking at yt comments isnt it#deltarune#kris dreemurr#maybe im looking too much into things but...#it also feels sorta. misogynistic when ppl default to he/him for androgynous/non binary characters#like ive seen multiple ppl use “well its understandable that ppl assume kris is a he when they have such masculine behaviours/hobbies”#the masculine behaviours and hobbies in question are being a prankster#i shit you not#like they called pranking... masc?? huh#can girls and others not get their silly on anymore??#also like i said before with the exception of like frisk and chara like almost every nb character is masculinised#like napstablook monster kid#god there has to be more but my memory is shit atm and i also have to go eat dinner#but i wanna talk more abt like why it feels so misogynistic to me#i thinnk it has to do with the fact that defaulting to he/him just makes women feel like an afterthought. ig like unless its confirmed then#they must be a guy to be relevant or smth#and also like how much they gender entirely non gender specific things (see: pranking)#ofc it wouldnt be BETTER per se if they imagined these characters as girls but its smth ive noticed and i just get frustrated cus#it feels sexist but i cant FULLY articulate why#i feel like i had the answer a lil while ago but i forgot#i might come back to this who knows#wow ok rant over#for now
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I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.
If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!
#mental health#mental health advocacy#it was just so annoying because every resource i could access for this project often ONLY recommended cbt and#that just doesn't seem helpful for a good chunk of people#because i know i never benefitted from that model of therapy#obligatory: i am not against this therapy. me having a negative experience with it is not indicative that i believe it should be abolished'#if it works for you: KEEP DOING IT. cbt is not inherently harmful for MANY people and it's a good and valuable tool for many#but the overemphasis of cbt as the Only Therapy Model You Need sends this message that YOU failed...#...if you don't miraculously recover with that therapy model. it often feels like you'll Fail Recovery/Therapy and you're now a Bad Person#i've tried for over a decade to stick out cbt with a dozen therapists to boot. so i think i know a thing or two about my experiences with it#and overall its an unimpressive model (for me) as someone whos had a history with abuse and miscellaneous mental knickknacks rattling around#it's also frustrating because i genuinely like psych and i love learning about people#it's just. i'm tired of only being exposed to cbt (because i hate it honestly)#i feel similarly about cbt as i do with sigmund fucking frued#anyway i just want other insane people (affectionate) to remember that they deserve to not beat themselves up over this#if you're an insane person reading this: i love you i love you i love you i love you#i will share a slice of cake and homemade bread with you <3
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Team W! As in Who let them near the fire rods???
Four, Legend and Hyrule
#linked universe#lu warriors#lu wild#lu wind#my art#lu#Warriors' hair and the Slate made me want to scream in frustration#Why do I do this to myself?#I am genuinely so proud of how Wind turned out tho#I just wanna smoosh his cheeks#Also there is no way that boy lives on the ocean and doesn't have a hell of a tan#anyways#feel free to come yell at me about LU!
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i hate that "TMRA" is an insult used against transmascs, not only are you saying an oppressed group of people don't deserve to fight for their rights, but you are at the same time equating that oppressed group to a group of men who literally hate us and would assault us given the chance. are you aware of the statistics of violence against trans men & mascs? the rates of assault, rape, and suicide and how they are extremely high and extremely underreported? or do you not care because you think were gender traitors were men?
#transandrophobia#like im just so frustrated#“youre not oppressed” statistics say otherwise mfer!!!#also tell that to the people whove told me theyll “fix me” amongst other shit#just aaaaaaaaaa!!!!! yknow
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novice dunmeshi fans in the tags of my posts tryna say chilchucks daughters aren’t adults….. heh. 😏 this may blow some peoples minds but I would like to remind everyone that half foots have shorter lifespans and reach adulthood by 14 according to the sacred texts 👇
chilchuck describes them as fully independent when he corrects marcille, who assumes he’s left his wife alone with a young child. The family dynamic is nicely summarized here 👇
and of course my most compelling evidence is the time when chilchucks three adult daughters describe themselves as his three adult daughters:
how could a guy who isn’t even 29 yet have three adult daughters, some have asked? Look no further. I have your answers here:
a bit young even for his own race but unfortunately for some of you guys the facts speak for themselves 😔
now don’t ever correct me again
#dungeon meshi#chilchuk tims#I’m joking you guys before you get defensive I want to assure you the tone of this post is ‘JOKE’#but also don’t you dare ever try to contradict my knowledge on my hyperfixations again#lest i invoke my autistic wrath#which is really just me sitting in my bed with a frustrated little frowny face like this >:(#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi
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Kokichisake-onna
*Happy anime narrator voice*: “And thus, Kokichi has once again successfully evaded the dread of emotional openness!”
Also here’s a random selection of derpy concept doodles for this comic :)
Thank you byeeeeee
#gonta gokuhara#gokuhara gonta#kokichi ouma#ouma kokichi#kokichi oma#featuring shuichi xD#ougoku#awwgoku#my art#I wanted to post it on ougoku day but work and migraines piled up on me and I really wanted to give this one the time it needs!#If you know the legend you know why Shuichi is panicking XDD#Look into Kokichi's eyeballs in panel 3 and see the sad hope against hope and yet! he still actively sabotages any comfort coming his way!#Is Gonta just kind or is his compassion a warped mix of compulsive fawning and misplaced empathy that keeps inviting menace into his life?#there's a secret sadness to this silly comic lmao and it's those poor sods' autopilots#I say laughing but by god do they need help#anyway enjoy! I might try posting more of Gonta ships I like - like this one; or with Shuichi; and some others 8D#btw I LOVE Gonta's scariest sprite - fantastic detail bc it does look like a snarl and ofc a wild child would imitate animal expressions!#and 2 out of 3 times he uses it he's actually NOT angry but hyped or frustrated - both cases also smth I appreciate for certain reasons#his actual 'serious angry' sprite is far more toned down in comparison
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(genshin impact spoilers incoming)
one aspect of furina's characterization that's pretty understated but that i really really really love is her intelligence and curiosity. usually in genshin, when a character's intelligence is an important trait of theirs, there are aspects of their design, writing, voice acting, etc, that very clearly tell you "hey this character is smart." albedo, for example, wears a labcoat, is always saying big sciency words in a calm, rational tone of voice, and other characters are always talking about how smart he is
but furina? nothing about her on the surface suggests that she's a "smart" character - quite the opposite, in fact. superficially, she's introduced as a bratty, conceited, overconfident person who actually has no idea what she's doing. we eventually learn in the archon quest that that was all an act, but even after she regains her freedom, nothing about her really seems archetypically intelligent, at least at face value
instead, furina's intelligence is always shown rather than told (the only exception being nahida's voiceline about her). she had an intelligence network across teyvat feeding her information, and we saw in the flashback how she directed researchers to study the prophecy and potential ways of stopping it. before things like lyney's trial or directing the two musketeers, she'd stay up all night planning and piecing things together all on her own. she loves learning new things, she has lines in the teapot about how, when she's interested in something, she wants to become the most knowledgeable person in the topic, and also how she'd like to disassemble the teapot itself to learn how it works, and she's quick to learn new skills (like surfing). and, of course, she's well read, and quite possibly teyvat's foremost expert on the performing arts
i like how furina sort of defies the concept of character archetypes. she's initially presented as an archetypical bratty, dramatic, spoiled popular girl, but that was a role she forced herself into because it's what people expected of her. but the real furina, while still retaining some of the flamboyance from her archon persona, doesn't really fit into a clear mold. she's smart without being a super-genius, and she's kind without being a soft-spoken doormat. it makes her feel multifaceted and real, and i really love that!
anyway, this is why it makes me mad whenever i see people calling furina stupid, cuz she's not!
#furina#genshin impact#don't mind me just rambling about my blorbo#tbh given her love of learning and how old she is i imagine furina could her own against zhongli in a quaint trivia contest#furina's true traits being shown rather than told is both great storytelling but also kinda frustrating because some people miss it#and end up mischaracterizing her as a result#but then again some people will also ignore character traits that are explicitly told so it's maybe not the writing that's at fault here
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Okay, for aro awareness week, I need you all to start recognizing that:
NOT EVERYONE IN THE ARO COMMUNITY IS FROM THE UNITED STATES OR EUROPE.
Please, when we're having discussions about aphobia, allonormativity amatonormativity, and other issues for the love of god STOP PRETENDING THAT WE DON'T EXIST AND LISTEN TO US!
We aren't just your token aros that exist in the other side of the world just for you to prove that we are everywhere or whatever point you're trying to make, we are living, breathing human beings and members of the aro community and we deserve respect and to be remembered not as a point in your discourse but as equals.
I am sick and tired of people just assuming that everyone in the community is either from the United States or Europe and only centering those voices in the discussion. We exist too.
#mayaposts#aro#aromatic#aro awareness week#aromantic awareness week#aro awareness week 2024#aroallo#aroace#arospec#filipino aro#asian aro#poc aro#sorry this came about after someone replied to me saying that not everyone can afford necessities with one income and that rent is too#expensive these days with ''just move to less expensive cities like amsterdam or london and get a full time job'' and it PISSED ME OFF#mind you it was a discussion on why aroaces (who may not have partners or roommates) struggle in today's economy#the other person was not only dismissive of the op who was explaining the frustrations of needing to work multiple jobs to stay afloat#but also trying to just dismiss the struggles of single income people (in this case non-partnering aroaces)#and the implication that we should just ''move out of london and amsterdam and get a full time job'' to be able to afford rent#is such a privileged european/american take#sorry im ranting now lol im just peeved off#i dont even know if the other person was aroace at all tbh but whatever
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Man sometimes I think about Dora and like yeah she's a fictional person and not real but Jesus christ imagine dating a guy and he's literally the worst like just absolutely terrible and he doesn't let you be A Real Person and you finally leave and he makes you into a cudgel to beat himself with in his horrible brain and then ALSO YOU GET USED AS A METAPHOR FOR THE VIOLENCE OF LIBERALISM IN A VIDEO GAME ABOUT HIM ????? AND THE NARRATIVE CONTINUES TO NOT LET YOU BE A REAL PERSON EVER
WERE THERE NO GRAVES IN EGYPT
#disco elisco#the way this game is about women makes me feel the emotion of frustration#like it's... idk i feel so complexly about it bc the bits we get of harry interacting withbher are SO#painful and secondhand embarrassing and stuff like youre clearly meant to feel sorry for her#but in a way where like the... idk the reason she gets your sympathy is bc you can see his like#terrible behavior and treatment of her reflected sort of in her like a mirror not because she gets to like#have interiority#and in a lot of ways the way the game treats her is necessary i think? for the point its making#but ALSO COMMA#like... idk#mumble mumble mumble
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