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#but in recent years i have lost a lot of patience for this sort of thing specifically...
yarrowleef-babbles · 1 year
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mistborn's magic is cool but im starting to wonder if i can no longer enjoy stories about political revolutionary groups that are very very clearly written by em....people who are probably not very revolutionary irl. to make a long grouchy ramble short.
ive liked plenty of books by non radical authors, but the fact this one is *about* a needed revolution makes those moments particularly distracting. sometimes it makes the characters feel disingenuous.
anyway i absolutely loathe elend venture as a person and a character and a concept just. so so much. every time he talks i want to strangle him
abolish your house and relinquish your wealth or shut the fuck up forever challenge
#i feel like there was a time i didnt care that much about this i could just focus on the fiction literally and take it as is#but in recent years i have lost a lot of patience for this sort of thing specifically...#'yeah well not ALL nobility 🙄🙄🙄 did you ever think about THAT galaxy brained thought?? some of us are polite'#god. god. i cannot believe this little useless twit who spent his whole life being complacent like every other noble#who was not even willing to ENTERTAIN the idea of having to give up ANY of his power post revolution#who walked up to the rebels and was like 'you ruffians will simply eat each other alive without our guidance'#WAS JUST. MADE KING.#AND EVERYONE JUST. AGREED TO THAT???#yeah sure he has only ever fantasized quietly about revolutionary sentiments#and didnt actually do anything until other people came in and did the the revolution FOR HIM so he could just stepped in and be like#oh well you see i had a boys club night and read some books so let me tell you the right way to do this revolution#that conveniently includes not rly taking anything away from me or the other rampant rapist slave owners!!!!#hey guys. pals. buds. feeling bad about something while continuing to benefit from and uphold it doesnt make you a good person actually#ITS LIP SERVICE. WORTHLESS. POSTURING. HE WOULD NEVER HAVE DONE ANYTHING USEFUL IF THE REVOLUTION HADNT FORCED HIM TO MOVE OR DIE#you know i actually dont think we should be friends with complicit rapist slave owners. why should the nobles keep anything??#ONE THIRD IS A LOT. IT IS A LOT FOR EVERYONE TO KNOW ABOUT AND BE COMPLICIT IN#the lord ruler did not make nobles rape their slaves!! he didnt oversee any of their daily atrocities!! he in fact ignored a lot of things!#that was aalllll their personal choice. 1/3 are regular rapists 3/3 dont believe skaa are people. even their pity is like pity for animals.#ELOND ONLY JUST DISCOVERED THAT SKAA WERE IN FACT PEOPLE (MAYBE) A WEEK AGO#i hate this bitch so fucking much im going to assassinate him myself#actually i think the skaa should have beheaded literally everyone in the palace <3#and i could not care less if elend found it distasteful <3 die <3#'well you see he gave just SUCH a good speech about keeping the peace and being nonviolent above all else'#'that the rebels instantly dropped their weapons and realized what a brilliant intellectual he was#and fell in love with him on the spot'#shut up shut the entire fuck up that is the most Insufferable Spineless Liberal bs thing i've ever heard#yeah his version of *hypothetical* peaceful revolution was doing really well for the skaa#his plan was to take up his house with all the murdered bodies it was built on and try to gently sway everyone to be Nicer Slave Owners#sorry. sorry this framing really didnt age well. idk if im going to be able to read the rest of the trilogy i am so annoyed#i might but im taking a break
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tiredmamaissy · 1 month
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hey 👋
i think this is the longest i've been gone. i missed you all a lot. i've been writing this entire time, and wanted to finish the last (for now, it’s definitely not completed) two chapters of the ralak series before officially coming back. i didn't want to come back without some sort of peace offering (lol how could i come back empty handed?) and i don’t want to leave you guys hanging again, gotta give some sort of closure to this series!
i'm almost finished, but i felt like i needed to come on here and explain myself.
i've been really struggling with my mental lately. it's just been pretty bad, to be frank. and when i get like this, i find it extremely difficult to juggle all that life entails, and will typically neglect certain aspects of it just to get by. unfortunately, this, and my social life, have taken the biggest hit. i find it hard to keep in touch regularly with friends, and i end up just retreating into my shell. motivation becomes little, or nothing at all.
i don't want to go into too much detail, but i've found myself between a rock and a hard place. i don't feel like i have many options in my current situation. i feel trapped. i suppose i've felt this way for the past few years, but it's just been pretty bad recently. issy has been an escape for me. i created a ‘new’ identity, one that i could unapologetically be myself. no face to the name type of thing. i fell in love with pandora, yearning to go there. and suddenly, my ideal world--my ideal everything was at my fingertips.
when i first started, the feeling of regaining my identity after so many years was exhilarating. i put many, many things on the back burner to immerse myself into this feeling and this world. quicker meals, shorter showers, later bedtimes. i did any and everything to dedicate as much time as i could muster up to hold onto this new identity. i could feel myself becoming happier, slipping back into who i was before i lost her.
but life just happens. you know? it continued, and it did so ten-fold. it was one thing after the next, and soon my plate was so full that i had to take something off of it. i guess i'm used to choosing myself to neglect first, so i told myself i'd put this off until i could get through this and then come back. so i did, and i came back. then life happened again. so i left, and came back.
but this time around life hit me hard. i felt like i was playing a game on the hardest difficulty, with a half a life, no pauses, and no way to exit safely. i'm still playing that game, but i've realised that i should really try to make the most of it. so i've been writing in what time i have. it's been one of my biggest escapes and it makes me happy that i can share it, and see that others enjoy what my silly brain comes up with.
i'm ready to come back, but i'm honestly still really overwhelmed with life. i really, really don't want to disappoint anyone…and i can't promise that i won't leave again anytime soon. i never want to leave. and honestly, i don't think i'll ever really leave for good. i will forever love avatar, and all that it’s done for me for the past 14 years. i guess i’m just trying to say… thank you all for your patience and love.
okidoki, let me stop here while i can lol.
ill be posting the chapters as soon as i'm done with them, ofc. i love you guys!! i’m heading to bed and will try to clear out my inbox and dm’s asap
-issy 💜
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wyattjohnston · 8 months
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never said a thing - pierre luc dubois
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summary: everyone knows that luc wants a trade... you're just the only person he hasn't told directly.
word count: 2,667
main character: gender neutral reader
note: this is a very very late pinch hitter fic for @pcttymcrlecu as part of the summer fic exchange 2k23. thank you for your patience!
i had to fudge the timeline because i didn't realise luc's trade request happened post-season. i really feel like it happened before the trade deadline
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You’d known about Luc’s trade requests before you met him—the entire city of Winnipeg, the province of Manitoba and the entire NHL fan base knew. It was inescapable, just like it had been when he was moved to Winnipeg after requesting a trade out of Columbus.
You were happier about the first one, less so about the second and that only got worse as time went on and the official third one came.
Meeting Luc wasn’t anything you’d planned but had still taken longer than you’d expected it to. Winnipeg wasn’t small, though it certainly wasn’t the largest city, and everyone seemingly had some sort of connection to the Jets—even if it was a Six Degrees of Mark Scheifele sort of deal.
A friend of a friend knew where the younger Jets players liked to spend their free time, as if that wasn’t widely known by everyone in their 20s anyway, and you found yourself in the same bar as Luc, Logan and Jansen.
You found yourself at Luc’s house a lot after that.
Nobody seemed to mind the weird, nebulous state of your relationship—situationship is probably the best word to describe everything that you were. It hadn’t mattered, not really, that you showed up at Luc’s house at the first text with little care for the time he sent his you up? text because he was always just as quick to show up when you sent him a photo of your empty bed without any words to accompany it.
It was always You and Luc, even though there was no You and Luc.
The trade request rumours go unmentioned in the time you spend together—the first alleged request being negated by a one-year contract and the second, the most recent, never coming up. You couldn’t forget them, though. You caught yourself looking at Luc when his back was turned, hoping you could will him to talk to you. Hoping he would explain the request. Hoping he would tell you directly.
Time passed, though, without any mention from Luc that he no longer wanted to be in Winnipeg. Without any mention that whatever You and Luc were had an expiration date.
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The Jets lost four games in a row, ending their season in the first round of the playoffs. It hurt because they’re your team—a crushing disappointment especially after winning the first game so soundly and taking game 3 to second overtime—and you watched every game from start to finish.
It was another turning point in your situationship with Luc. As much as you were always a text message away, Luc never asked right after road trips. You never expected him to. It was a boundary set in place that you were more than happy to adhere to.
Except.
The text wasn’t even the usual you up? but an explicit come over that had your heart rate spiking. It was the most direct either of you had ever been and you didn’t know what it meant at all.
He’d barely arrived home when you were buzzed into the building if the suitcase at the door was any indication. He looked exhausted, standing beside the intercom with his forehead pressed against the wall.
You didn’t wait before moving towards him, your footsteps disgustingly loud in the otherwise silent apartment, and pressed your forehead into the space between his shoulder blades.
In a hoarse voice, muffled by the wall he was leaning against, Luc asked, “When’s it my turn to win?”
He wasn’t crying, something you were grateful for because you knew you were ill equipped to deal with it, but he may well have been. The sagging of his limbs, so tired and dejected that his muscles weren’t even tense, and the defeat in his voice were foreign to you.
“What do you need from me?” you asked, unable to think of anything else and not wanting to make a wrong move and upset him even more.
He signed, his entire body shaking with it, and admitted that he just wanted to go to bed.
You agreed, despite it being far from what you’d gone for. Moving him was easy; he put up no resistance as you led him down to his room. You’d never seen him so low, never moved him so easily, and, as many times as you had undressed each other in that very room, taking his clothes off was the strangest part of it all.
He helped you undress him in so much as he moved his limbs when he needed to, but he was very much just doing as he was told.
“You’ve got so many more years in you, Luc,” you said when you were finally laying in the bed.
“It never feels that way.”
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Waking up in Luc’s bed wasn’t strange by any means, nor, quite frankly, was the morning wood pressed against your lower back. Being the familiar territory that it was, you roused Luc from his sleep and started your morning the right way.
He was visibly happier than the night before—or, maybe not happier but definitely less noticeably distraught—and falling into old habits was simple and welcomed by both of you. The closeness, physical and emotional, something he needed judging by the way he held you through breathy moans.
It wasn’t until you were showered and sitting at his kitchen island with a coffee as he got ready for end-of-season interviews, grumbling as he moved throughout the house.
Your timing probably wasn’t the best, waiting until you were standing at his front door saying goodbye just before he fronted the media, but you had never shied from the hard conversations. Even if you delayed them until the last—often worst—possible moment.
“I’ll see you when you’re back for training camp?” you asked tentatively, wringing your hands in your lap.
Luc hesitated for so long that you thought he might never say anything. He couldn’t meet your eye when he said, “Yeah. End of August, probably.”
You watched him carefully, scrutinising the painful casualness of his response, the lack of any giveaways that he was lying or that he hoped what he was saying wasn’t true.
You knew too much, though.
His casual demeanour faltered as you met him with an equally long silence—you weren’t hesitating for any reason other than to make him uncomfortable.
He shifted his feet and looked everywhere in the room except at you. He was opening his mouth to speak when you finally decided to keep talking, cutting him off.
“Are you ever going to talk to me about requesting a trade?”
Luc’s demeanour changed from confused to defensive immediately when he asked, “Do I need to?”
“I mean… yeah?” you asked, stumbling over your words. “You were really just going to leave for the summer and never come back?”
“I—” The colour drained from his face. “Yeah.”
With your hands pulling at the bottom of your hoodie, you felt your heart rise into your throat. There wasn’t anything else for you to say, which was a blessing because if you opened your mouth, you weren’t sure what would have come out.
You nodded once, stiffly, and then again after a beat before you let the barstool screech against the tiles as you stood. He didn’t make any move to stop you as you grabbed your purse, and you could feel him staring as you walked out the door. You cursed the apartment building for having quiet closing doors when all that would have made you feel better was hearing something slam behind you.
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June came and went, July disappeared as quick as it arrived and August… well August dragged on painfully.
You worked through the perfect weather and the perfect photos your friends posted of their perfect vacations. It wasn’t all that different from every other summer since you graduated and it was no different to the previous summer because you didn’t see him then anyway.
A lot of energy had been spent trying to get him out of your mind, not least because all of your work colleagues seemingly spent their every waking moment talking about Pierre-Luc Dubois and his trade request. When the trade to LA had finally happened, all they could talk about was “eight years and eight point five million, who does he think he is?” or “he’s just going to ask for another trade in 2 years so jokes on them!”
You, though? Mostly you’d been able to move past it. August rolled around and you didn’t care about Pierre-Luc Dubois.
Until, that is, you were standing in The Forks Market, ready to eat your weight in mini donuts because it had been a long, long week, and, above every other head you saw him.
You couldn’t leave in the rush that you wanted to, or at least suddenly speedrun the market, because you did want your donuts more than you wanted to leave so you turned your head, tried to hide behind some other people and hoped that he’d never spot you.
That was too much to ask for, of course.
The stall called your name and you knew that everybody in the immediate vicinity had heard it but still you collected your food and tried to make a beeline for the exit only to have your name called again.
You stopped but didn’t turn around, hoping that maybe Luc would just turn and leave but you knew that was foolish. You felt his presence as he got closer, his body so much larger than those around him that even without seeing him you just knew.
He said your name, in such a deceptively soft voice that you had no choice but to turn around, to look at him and see a sorrow on his face that you hadn’t ever expected. Definitely nothing you’d ever seen before.
“You got something to say or?” you prompted when he just continued to stare at you.
“How are you?”
You recoiled at the question, your eyebrows pulling together, followed by an eye roll so rapid that it actually hurt. Luc flinched himself but didn’t rush to say anything else.
“That’s not the conversation I want to have,” you said, brutally honest. “Especially not with you. So, I’m going to take my food and leave. Enjoy LA.”
You stepped away, causing him to stand up straighter and reach for you—but only briefly before he thought better of it. Still, he said, rushed, “Come back to mine.”
“And why should I do that?”
“I have—” he cleared his throat. “I have to talk to you and I don’t want to do that here.”
You hesitated but ultimately agreed when curiosity got the better of you. As much as you’d not wanted to think about him, it had been impossible to shake the desire for any sort of explanation.
Walking into his apartment again didn’t feel like a bad idea, but it did feel weird to see it mostly empty with packing boxes stacked against the walls. You didn’t need to be reminded that he was going—gone—and yet the reminder still had you looking away instantly back to Luc.
Luc pulled out the food that he’d bought at the market—an actual meal—and set it down on the kitchen island where the only remaining seats in his apartment were, just three barstools.
“I hope they gave you a fork because I don’t have any cutlery,” he said sheepishly.
You sat down beside him, placed your own bag down and told him, smiling to yourself, “I don’t think I need a fork to eat mini donuts.”
The laugh that erupted from him shocked both of you. You more so, you thought, because you weren’t sure you’d ever heard him laugh so heartily, so carefree. It ended up being the reason for your abrupt silence, the joy being pulled from you and a donut being shoved into your mouth to avoid any questioning.
He didn’t seem to notice that your laughter had stopped for any reason other than deciding to eat, so he ate his curry still smiling and starting a conversation about Ryan Gosling as Ken that you had to admit was endearing even if you didn’t want to. Your own contribution to that conversation was minimal despite how much you had enjoyed the movie in the first place.
“Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?” you asked during a break in the conversation where Luc was getting ready to start playing the movie’s soundtrack. That was so far past normal that you had to get out of it, that you had to bring him back to the reason you’d even gone to his apartment in the first place.
Luc looked chastised as he put his phone back down on the table. He turned the stool so that he was facing you, the one stool still in between you, and all joy had fallen from his face. He reached one hand out, resting it on the empty stool, and inhaled.
“I asked for a trade.”
“So, I heard.”
“I can’t keep losing.”
“Oh,” you said, feigning sympathy, “Because the Kings got so much further than the Jets did. Understandable.”
Whatever was left of his openness disappeared, his face making it clear that he’d shuttered. You didn’t care, really, when that was the lame excuse you’d gotten.
“I don’t even care about that,” you said, waving off the poor excuse. “Honestly, I don’t care that you requested it because whatever it’s your career and your life, you can leave if you want—why didn’t you tell me, Luc? If I hadn’t asked, I really don’t think you would have told me.”
“I should have,” he admitted, without hesitation, his face relaxing into something somewhat remorseful. “I know I should have. Even if we’re just… casual, fuckbuddies, whatever we’re calling it, of course I should have told you. It just took me until you got mad for me to realise that.”
 “What? You didn’t realise I was human until that moment?”
“I didn’t realise you cared.”
That chastened you quite effectively, because it was true that you’d never given much—or any—indication that it was more than just sex. Not a great deal more, at least not until you thought you were going to lose him, but enough that the friends in friends-with-benefits had clearly meant a lot more to you than it did to him. You couldn’t have expected him to know that when your conversations were limited to if the roads were okay on the drive to one another’s place.
You admitted, quietly, your eyes averted to your lap, “I don’t know if I did until I heard you wanted out. Then I thought about it at length and by the time I asked you about it… Lying to me is just about the worst thing you could have done.”
“I didn’t think you’d bring it up,” he said slowly. “I really just thought you would leave; I’d go back to Quebec and then, when the season started, I’d be somewhere else and then you asked and… I realised I cared about leaving you behind.”
Your eyes fell shut, overwhelmed by what he’d told you. You were sure nobody had ever cared about leaving you behind before. You wondered, briefly, how long it would have taken Luc to contact you if he hadn’t seen you that evening, though it was something that could be found out later. More pressing was the confession you’d just received.
Your eyes opened, and Luc was looking at you with a softness and longing that overwhelmed you all over again. All you did was laugh nervously, shyly, to yourself, and tell him, “I don’t even know anything about you that I haven’t learnt from the Jets’ broadcasts.”
“I don’t think I know anything about you either,” he confessed, unabashed. “I want to learn; if you want to teach me.”
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Please consider leaving feedback—reblog and write in the tags or send an ask, I’m not fussed. I just want to know what you’re thinking!
i forgot i have a tag list rip (very sorry if you’ve already seen the fic!!)
@fallinallincurls @spine-buster @2manytabsopen @xcicix @sorryjustafangirl @senditcolton @shinyfalcon4 @laurenairay @jarmorie @diary-of-jj @its-bitchin-belle-bitches @sssstarstruck @pr3nt1ss
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quietsnooze · 6 months
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Info dumping about my homebrew DnD world ahead!
Eidholme is a low magic fantasy DnD campaign setting wherein magic is very limited, feared, and persecuted. The continent is split into 5 kingdoms & 2 empires.
Here's a visualization using Azgaar's fantasy map generator, then painted by me using Inkarnate to show the landforms:
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Long ago, there were racial variations (many of the expected DnD races), but war and mistrust tore apart the continent and drove out many as humans struck down the remaining.
Now, there are heritages in the bloodlines of many current day humans that lie dormant as also magic does
(Basically my way of saying "this is an all human campaign... mostly." When the players get to higher levels, they will manifest traits from their heritages if they want to have that aspect included. Most left that up to me to surprise them!)
The deities are known as Guardians. There are twelve who are revered across the continent in different capacities - the kingdom of the Reamers is highly religious and worships all 12, whereas others pick & choose their preferred "endorsed" Guardians.
The Guardians' sigils I designed:
• Pandor, of Pleasure
• Lilabet, of Patience
• Elnos, of Creation
• Phiphine, of Growth
• Aisling, of Endings
• Cohara, of Mercy
• Bodhi, of Progress
• Llyr, of Dominion
• Niamh, of Hearth-keepers
• Keros, of Justice
• Ashtur, of Aggression
• Ryasis, of Curiosity
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The event that caused the humanization of Eidholme was over a millennia ago, but the hurt caused by the End of Magic is more recent - a little more than 200 years prior, with fear and abuse of it at an all time high, magic was almost universally banned across Eidholme.
What was the straw that broke the camel's back? The population does not know, other than it was surrounding the tensions that broke apart the Mountainlands into two empires: Marboke in the north, and Oakham in the south.
(My voice game players know tho! They participated in it in prologue)
The continent shares the equinox and solstice celebrations, but have differing, more local traditions for them. Here’s a calendar I created that shows them! In Launlia for example, the Primavernal is celebrated as the Awakening Festival locally, for Niamh, Guardian of Growth.
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Another fun fact about Eidholme: the vast majority of the continent's trees and its ONLY forest exist in Duskhollow. The kingdom is shrouded in mystery, in ancient Woods magic, in protections that keep any out who it doesn't want to be there.
The Woods is alive. It decides.
I have a lot of documents my players can comb through for information at their leisure. This one factually lists information that the PCs would know. It is not necessarily Wiki-level accurate, however, as propaganda is a heck of a thing.
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Cantrips aren't exactly rare, but depending on where you are, you wouldn't even want to risk casting one. Privilege allows some of higher station to play around with magic in a badly kept secret. Otherwise, you are licensed or regulated by the governing body on your usage.
And that, of course, is why both of the parties who play in this world stumbled across Wanted posters for their questioning and arrest! "Wanted in connection to blasphemy and magic usage in Launlia", while their allies are "wanted in connection to actions against the Crown"...
For as much as I limited in character creation for lore purposes, I gave back through the same world building. Characters can interact with the world, seeking lost ways of old magics, ancient techniques, connections with the natural world… even be taught new (homebrew) cantrips
This is one of those instances where the PCs fit the trope of “chosen one” levels of power, as few ordinary people are powerful like they are and will be. The catch? That also makes them HUGE targets for backlash. Without the right support, they’ll be on the run… everywhere.
That makes it a very socially driven, political ties sort of campaign story. They also have befriended nomads, who can help them in their own way.
Nomads are, expectedly, nomadic people dissenting of law and homeland. They are expectedly hunted or outlawed for their magic use.
Some places welcome them as a novelty, others allow them under tentative circumstances for services granted (easy to locally wash your hands of it and assign blame to nomads who are long gone by the time you’re found out). Their trust is notoriously difficult to gain.
Why? Because they’ve been lured by royals to perform, only to be mass incarcerated. They’ve been promised sanctuary and found instead themselves given to their enemies. The groups do not inherently trust one another, either- friendship with one doesn’t mean friend to all.
As for beyond the continent… not many know what lies beyond. Those who travel out rarely come back, those who do are driven back by storms and critical failures of their ships. The Brackish Tears is the only kingdom who receives imports from beyond the vast waters.
There's a tale of a Tearsian prince memorialized in statue: Eóghan Griogal - a prince, second son to King Cian and Queen Siobhan, beloved by his people in the 17th century, about 200 years BME (Before magic’s end) or prior to the new age. His romance to the wispy foreigner - had many people talking, some excited in the chattering and others devastated by his betrayal. For he found love at sea, a man whose affinity with water was undeniably clear, closer bonded to it than even the water births of the Reamers would boast.
The lore creates a very interesting challenge for a fantasy world:
- wood is expensive and rare, so describing anything, from building materials to origins of fruit, is adjusted
- gemstones are extremely rare and not mined anywhere anymore as the source died with the elves
- magic is mostly outlawed
I'm currently running two games in this world. One traditional DnD via voice sessions who adventure across the continent, one written/play-by-post mixed with Good Society ttrpg, sandboxed in the Brackish Tears' capital.
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Here is the star map and constellations. I have so many documents for my players to chew on, and I’m adding to them constantly.
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catbountry · 2 months
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One of these days I'm gonna get completely zonked and write out an entire fucking essay on why Mister Metokur sucks and I don't like him, but I feel like I could just say "he kickstarted the internet dumpster fire that was GamerGate" and have justified my position completely.
So fucking tired of orbiting communities that talk about internet weirdos/drama and seeing creators kiss the fucking ring of some guy just because he's got a voice for radio and surrounds himself with people who are stupider than he is so he can toss them aside as soon as they inevitably do some stupid bullshit that he can make fun of and feel justified in doing so, like Sargon of Akkad and Ethan Ralph, all while lamenting that internet culture has changed since the 2000's and people on the internet like furries now more than they like otaku.
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Oh yeah and he's using James Somerton's suicide note as an opportunity to expose Hbomberguy for shit he did nearly two decades ago and shame him for "troll's remorse." If I didn't highly suspect that this is another ploy by James to manipulate people into feeling sorry for him, I'd probably be more disgusted, but it proves this man just operates on pure spite. Like yeah, I get it, overly-performative troll's remorse is fucking cringe, but you're on a podcast with Null making jokes about "stinkditches" and saying unambiguously racist shit while laughing (in a video conveniently deleted from YouTube from September 17th, 2022). And if it weren't for Jim's army of asskissers, I'd probably be way more open about this sort of thing. But who's even reading my Tumblr at this point anyway?
The first time I remember being alarmed by him was that video he did on that creepy pedo who looked at photos of kids in bathtubs, and he was in a call with this guy and some girl said pedo was friends with, and Jim lost his patience and called her a "hole" and to shut up. People kiss Metokur's ass over this video. I don't even know if any action, criminal or otherwise, was taken against the dude and it was just an exercise in lording not being a pedophile over some deeply disturbed guy who probably had some kind of mental disability.
I am pretty much always going to have a fixation on strange internet people, internet drama, and horrifying nightmare people given unrestricted internet access. This is a character flaw of mine. I have tried to view these people more fairly in recent years, though to be honest, there's quite a few of them that are pretty goddamn hard to feel sorry for. But I also recognize a lot of my fascination was probably, at least partially, trollshielding; if I join in with the people making fun of these people, that means I won't be a target. It was a survival strategy learned from childhood and I'm not proud of it. But I also can't do the full troll's remorse because some of those people I talked shit about really were awful people. That doesn't make it okay when I would be snarky and judgemental towards people that didn't deserve it. Trying to stop a pedophile or helping shed light on a zoosadism ring doesn't make you a good person because even bigots hate pedos and people that torture animals. Congratulations on having the faintest resemblance of a conscience, it'd be nice if you could show that same outrage on behalf of black people and trans women. But we know you ain't doin' that.
Also I swear to god if somebody refers to him as "daddy Jim" and they're not taking the piss I'm gonna give them such a pinch.
P.S. James is very likely alive, btw. Who could have seen the serial liar and manipulator telling lies and emotionally manipulating people?
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prolix-yuy · 6 months
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PedroStories HallowReads Celebration 
A Spooky Salute to Writers! 
There are literally hundreds of fics out here that have stolen my heart, but here are a few of my favorites. Forgive me if I wax poetic about some of these, but I think you'll love them just as much!
For other stories I've loved, check out my fic rec tag!
🎃 Here are my recommendations for @pedrostories’ HallowReads Celebration 🎃
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My favourite fanfics I read this year
Point A to Point B by @amywritesthings Description: Escorting a former Empire prisoner of war to a Rebel Alliance safe zone? It should be a piece of cake. Absolutely no problems whatsoever. My thoughts: My space sister even when she's off in another galaxy far far away (aka another fandom), Point A to Point B was one of the first Din series I read that was in progress at the time I started. Nothing made me quite as excited as giving my blow-by-blow reactions to Amy's spectacular story, and I'll come back to a few of those...ahem...firsts time and time again. The writing style is crisp and gorgeously detailed, and I love her religious Din so very much.
Lie to Me by @iamskyereads Description: A recent transfer to the DEA from the FBI makes you a target of hazing from your co-workers. Choosing to forget your bad first day at a bar puts you on a path towards meeting a new acquaintance. An expert on deception and psychological profiling, you are adept at catching liars. What happens when an increasingly stressful work environment begins to test the limits of your personal life and the one man at the center of it all, Javier Peña? Afterall, everybody lies about something. But how many are you keeping from yourself? An AU of Season 3 of Narcos My thoughts: Skye writes some of my favorite "it's canon now" stories, and Lie to Me is a shining example of what her creative mind can do with Season 3 plus an incredible reader character. I have never read a story where the reader was so different than me but also someone I'd so badly like to be that I could really imagine it to be true. Plus her Javi is so thoroughly rendered in perfect introspection I half expect scenes from the show to have Carino in the background. A must read!
Surrender by @ezrasbirdie Description: Weeks after the events in Kansas City, Joel and Ellie stumble across a woman lost in the Nebraska wilderness. With her knack for foraging and unending patience for Ellie's ceaseless questions, Daisy quickly becomes an asset on their journey. But between Joel's capriciousness towards her presence and Ellie's fierce loyalty to her guardian, she can't help but question her place with her new companions--especially when she catches Joel's gaze lingering more and more when he thinks she isn't looking. My thoughts: Listen, I know there's a lot of Joel out there right now, but this Joel? You need to read this Joel. A glorious character study of an intensely broken man finding a new start through the eyes of a complex and powerfully realized OC. There are whole chapters that have me in a chokehold, and the pain is so stunningly offset by the beauty they find in each other. One of my favorite things Birdie has written (and there are lots to choose from!)
Celestial Navigation by @write-and-buried Description: Dumped and drowning in a summer storm, you duck inside a coffee shop to hide from your broken heart. Covered in plants and hand drawn images over exposed brick, it seems like a slice of heaven. The owner brings you a blueberry muffin and a promise; you’ll fall in love with him before the new year. My thoughts: How can I not mention the story I salivated over every week waiting for a new chapter? This Dieter has all of the hallmarks of canon Dieter with so much more depth and a unique twist to his character that works perfectly in this sort-of AU. Every description is lush and ripe, sensuality used to lull you into horny heaven. Gorgeously realized and a wonderful contained read again and again.
Intimidation Tactics by @whataperfectwasteoftime Description: You and your partner, Marcus Pike, are investigating a case that brings you far too close to something much more dangerous than your average art thief.   My thoughts: Penny came out of the gate SWINGING with this series. Marcus and Dave's chemistry is electric, and the three of them together weave attraction and devotion into something much more grounded and confident than I expected. Their relationship blossoms so fully I can't imagine it any other way.
Wild Abandon by @starlightmornings Description: Post-WWII, set in the Great Smoky Mountains of Western North Carolina. Ezra Joe Collins came home from the war looking to hide away in the wilderness. His simple, quiet life is turned upside down when you show up in his garden, hungry and desperate, with nowhere else to go. What starts out as a grudging friendship quickly transforms into something that will knit your very souls together — but as you soon discover, such a bond comes at great cost. My thoughts: Kaylie's masterful execution of this thematic story kept me on the edge of my seat for weeks! The setting and voice is some of the most unique writing I've come across, and the threads she weaves together to make the full picture come to light had me gasping. Plus Ezra is the perfect balance of hedonistic and mysterious, just the way I like him.
Beloved fanfics with my comfort characters
First Class to Tatooine by @mandosmistress Description: You’re a flight attendant who’s so entranced by your melancholy, beskar-clad passenger that you decide to cheer him up with some first class treatment. And although the Mandalorian seems to think he can forget his woes between your legs if he tries hard enough, despair and violence seem to follow him no matter how hard he tries to shake them. My thoughts: Mari's fic was some of the first I read in the fandom and if I'm ever missing Din I come back to this story. Her young Din fics are transcendent, but I'm so in love with this post-TBOBF story and the angst she pulls out of it.
Kinktober 2022 by @chaoticgeminate Description: You’re a fanfiction writer turned novelist, which was great since it was the path you wanted your writing to take you down in life. What you never thought would happen was meeting the Javier Gutierrez, who you actively write smutty fanfiction about from his film with Nic Cage, and you especially didn’t expect him to have a crush on you. Fast forward several months of dating, with a good chunk of your relationship being distance due to his constant traveling and having to go home to Mallorca, when he surprises you with a prompt list and a vacation planned around exploring it. You haven’t even worked up the nerve to tell him about what you write and post to Tumblr about him as a character yet. My thoughts: Who doesn't want to live in a world where some happy accidents bring you together with Javi Gutierrez in a sexy funfest full of feelings, healthy relationship conversations, and mind-blowing smut? Plus Kelly made me almost cry several times featuring my beloved Murch in her stories and now our RCs are best friends forever.
Palomino by @fuckyeahdindjarin Description: Unable to get a refund for a week-long horse-riding pack trip you’d booked with your ex, you decide to go solo. As it turns out, a rebound with a cowboy named Jack while traversing the wild landscapes of Wyoming might just be what you need. My thoughts: Palomino is a triumph of a fic by the incredibly talented Cee that is a must-read if you like anything horsey. Even if you don't, come for the soft-spoken cowboy we were robbed of in TGC and their adventures together. Cee took so many unique turns that had me intrigued with my heart clenching at each new chapter, and the ending is truly something beautiful.
Fanfics I wish more people knew about
Calculated Risks by @pedrito-friskito Description: I took a calculated risk, but fuck, am I bad at math aka - this started as friends with benefits but you’re ridiculously good in bed and not as much of an asshole as originally thought and now I’m kind of in love with you? a saga. My thoughts: Kay's Dieter is a chaotic mess in the best way, and she pairs him with someone just as messy and perfect for him. They traverse some highs and lows together, but the love is so carefully threaded through you have to root for them.
Vibes by @mandoblowmybackout Description: Sex toys, Din Djarin, neurodivergent reader and so many feelings? What's not to love? My thoughts: The number of times I've closed my eyes and thought of scenes from this series is too large to count. As sexy as the concept sounds, the trust and care that Ash takes to give these two the love they deserve is even more exhilarating.
Kitten by @boliv-jenta Description: The reader meets Nico at a swingers party. Will he just scratch an itch or carve a place in her life? My thoughts: Liv has so many fics I adore, but the exploration of Nico as a character and how his and Kitten's experimentation grows is just masterful. Plus she gives us one of my favorite OC side characters and so many twists and turns I was gobbling up each addition the moment they came out!
Fanfics with my favourite trope/AU
Love Triangles by @littlemisspascal Description: Soulmates with Identifying Marks AU, including a ridiculous amount of pining, misunderstandings, and Dieter being Dieter. My thoughts: Rae's writing never fails to make me feel the widest spectrum of emotions. This AU is so fun and thoughtfully fleshed out, with a wild but kind Dieter, hilarious nicknames, and a soulmate twist that had me a gooey mess by the end.
Stranger At My Gate by @leslie-lyman Description: A time-traveling Pero. A modern woman trying her best. A kitchen full of possibility. A helping of Midwestern kindness. A dash of magic. And a whole lot of Christmas spirit. My thoughts: I read this around the holidays and it was the perfect treat for my time-travel-Pero-loving heart! The world Leslie creates is so warm and homey I want to live in it always. Plus big gruff Pero melting down for Tessa makes me want to cry, it's so wonderful.
A Galaxy Far Far Away by @grogusmum Description: This fic is as much a story about Din, Grogu, and Reader as it is a little love letter to an old home of mine, during an idyllic time in my life. As with most authors, there are characters who are a reflection of them, and that is certainly so for reader characters in fics. And it is so here, but only a little, but the cottage, the town, the festivities are directly from life. I hope they come across kind of like characters in their own right. My thoughts: Every time I get a new piece of this story it melts me again. The love in this is quiet and gentle, and Grogu is a sweet little menace we adore. The slow growth of love is truly the star, and I'll forever want to live in this town with a big teddy bear of a man and his mischievous son.
The Language of Flowers by @lowlights Description: You’re the only daughter of a wealthy Victorian family living in the countryside. The head gardener, Din, catches your eye and your heart. A series of clandestine rendezvous put both of your futures in jeopardy. One question persists: could you ever truly be together? (A Din Djarin AU) My thoughts: Gardener!Din owns my heart, my nethers, a large piece of my brain. The Victorian vibes are off the CHARTS, and while there's the looming doom of their secret relationship always present, I still fall back in love every time.
Fanfics I NEED to read
A Girl Walks Into a Bookshop by @oonajaeadira Description: Set a couple of years after the events of the film. Ezra owns a bookshop. You walk in. My thoughts: This has been on my TBR forever and I feel like I need to set aside a day to just binge it. I know it'll make me soft. I know it'll give me all the feels. I just need to prepare myself for it, preferably with a warm drink and a cozy corner to melt in.
Meant to Be by @radiowallet Description: Oberyn Martell has spent his life as a second-born prince enjoying all the pleasures that Dorne has to offer, staving off any notion of an arranged marriage under the guise of searching for his soulmate. But after defeating The Mountain and avenging his sister's untimely death, Oberyn returns home to his brother still without a true heir. And so Doran states his plan: To name Oberyn Lord of Sunspear and have him take a wife, soulmates and lovers be damned. So what happens when the fates of Westeros send him an independent and troublesome woman from the north that just happens to fit the title of both bride and soulmate? Which feelings does one bow to? To bend or to break? And what does it truly mean to be meant? My thoughts: Cat's unique take on a Soulmate AU with an unlikely Pedro boy has been tantalizing me for months! And to hear her say that it's one of the formative stories that's developed her unique voice just makes me want to read it more!
Clean Sheet by @haylzcyon Description: Former FBI agent turned tortured crime-author Marcus Pike has never gotten the hang of complacency. The weight of monotonous days stuck writing a loveless character into predictable plotlines is heavy - but he finds ways to shoulder it. Newly divorced and the owner of a print shop where Marcus orders copies of his working drafts, a slip-up in order packaging sparks a fast blooming friendship between you, and reveals a side to Marcus that you've only dreamt of. My thoughts: AUTHOR MARCUS AUTHOR MARCUS I know this is going to get me yearning and I cannot wait for him to meet-cute his way into my heart.
Like a Moth to the Flame by @the-scandalorian Description: monster!Din, sort of a dark Beauty and the Beast AU My thoughts: Oh god. Oh godddddd. Monster!Din. I can't. I need a minute. I'm gonna be such a problem after this story and I need to be ready for that. I'm looking so disrespectfully at this story Simone.
Thank you to each and every writer who's on this list (plus dozens more) and whose words are forever imprinted in my brain, for better or worse. Happy Spooky Season!
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kindan-no-kanojo · 1 year
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🌹| Scarlett Wakahisa Special! |🌹
༺ Character Sheet & Interview ༻
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Original template by @inazuma-ryuu ! I edited the hue and language, and added stickers and effects myself. Translation + Special character interview below the cut!
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「 “Run along. Okay? Unless you want me to eat your mind away.” 」
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༺ Profile
« A hard-to-ignore Ghoul Lady seeks putting an end to the loop. »
༺ Scarlett Wakahisa
Species: Ghoul Age: 19 years old. Occupation: Ryotei Academy's 3rd Year Student Voice Actress: Tamura Yukari
📌 Memo #1
«Caution: Do not leave Experiment 11 unattended.»
༺ Further data
Blood Type: AB Height: 164 cm (5'5) Weight: 62 kg Favorite Food: Peaches Hobby: Music Birthdate: May 13th
📍 Memo #2
? ? «How long... has it really been?» ? ?
📎 Memo #3
«Even after death, flowers can keep blooming...»
Additional pictures include her Ghoul form with Maid uniform, Casual and Formal outfits!
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༺ Scarlett Wakahisa || Character Interview ༻ What occupies the passionate Ghoul's mind?
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[20 questions based on these and these interviews!]
1. What is your favorite thing right now?
“I recently found a mouse at home. It was really small and cute! As soon as it saw me, though, it ran away... Well, I cannot blame it. But I haven't seen such a tiny little visitor in a while, so it made my day a little better——
——Why are you making that face?”
2. What are your recent preferences in regards to fashion?
“If I think it looks good on me, that's all matters, no? I find it especially uncomfortable to wear pants or trousers, so I tend to pick skirts or dresses most of the time. Whatever makes me feel pretty, stays.”
3. Do you have any subconscious quirks?
“How would I know, if it is not a conscious habit?
...Hm. Thinking about it, I believe it's true that whenever I listen to some orchestra concerto I instinctively start air-conducting. I don't think about it too much when do it, it can be a little obnoxious to whoever is close to me... And to me, too, honestly, when they try to stop me or turn the music off.”
4. How do you spend your off days?
“I'm lucky enough to not have an exhausting routine like before, when I'd use my breaks to rest a few hours. Nowadays, I usually stay home and play music or visit someone to spend the day with.”
5. What does your sleepwear look like?
“You are so curious about that, aren't you? It is nothing out of the ordinary. I wear a simple white nightgown when I'm able to relax. Nothing fancy.
Although, if I don't have access to my sleepwear, I'd simply loose my corset and manage with my shirt and skirt only. But that isn't the usual...”
6. What’s one thing you always do before going to bed?
“Braid my hair loosely. Whenever I don't, I wake up with an entangled red mess.”
7. Which part of your own body do you like best?
“I take special care of my hair, so that would be my answer. It has given me issues a lot of times, but I can't bring myself to hate it...”
8. What do you like best about your own room?
“My room isn't too bright or too dark, it has one small window for natural light, so it goes easy on my eyes, which I appreciate.
I like the peace and quiet of my house overall, it is isolated from the city and the suburbs, so I mostly hear nature and animals. Contrasting, right? I don't like loud environments, believe it or not. Besides, if I'm going to deal with people all day, I need to recharge, so I need a peaceful place.”
9. Tell us your most vivid memory with Kino!
“All my memories are vivid, first of all... But, one that would stand out from the rest? Let's see...
Oh! I find it especially funny when there is something Kino cannot do. He once wanted to learn how to play some weird tune on the piano, from one of his games... He couldn't handle my lesson very well, though. How am I going to teach music to someone who doesn't want to learn the basics!? Theory is not boring, it's fascinating. Well, in the end, he lost his patience and challenged me to a duel of sorts with his mobile device, which he clearly won before I realized. He doesn't like to lose alone, huh...?”
10. How do you feel about Karl Heinz?
“It is pointless to ponder about that dead man.”
11. Where would you go on a date?  
“Oh, uh... hm. Anywhere? I don't have preferences.
If I'm asking someone out, I would choose a place where we could be by ourselves, and possibly do something together. I rarely get invited to dates myself, so when that happens... I'm a little too shocked. Or excited? It's weird, but I can't allow myself to complain, haha... It really won't matter.”
12. Which kind of gestures make your heart skip a beat?
“This may sound ridiculous but... anything kind-hearted and unprompted makes me feel a little silly.
Don't laugh! I'm not used to things like gifts or... acts of service? How am I supposed to react? A 'thank you' doesn't feel enough, so I'm at a loss with those things!
... Kisses make me feel somewhat similar, but at least I can do something about it. Or... try.”
13. What does blood taste like for you?
“Like danger. It's scary. There are equal chances for me to control myself than there are for me to completely lose it, one way or another. I can't risk it, I don't even like blood that much, no, I don't need it... I don't need it at all.”
14. Where would you like to be bitten?
“What do you mean 'where'!? Nowhere. Next question.”
15. Which body part do you like sucking blood from?
“You are playing with fire. Fine, I will humor your morbid curiosity...
Neck and shoulders. Those are my favorite places to bite. Not only it is a good blood source, but I can also hear their screams in pain from very up close and feel how the body tenses and reacts first hand. Besides, if they push me away, chances are that they end up getting more hurt than I. Those areas and very soft, therefore it is easily breakable, you know...?
I hope that is enough for you understand why it is something to avoid, now stop asking about it, will you? Feasting upon someone makes me stronger and crazier, so—— oh, unless you want a demonstration, too!?”
16. Do you believe in fate?
“...I choose not to. If my fate was written like this and it is truly incapable of bending, I will seriously lose my mind.”
17. Is there any good memories you keep with Rhiannon?
“Define 'good'...
Looking back, there is nothing good about that time. Perhaps it felt like home back then, but... even her death meant repercussions for me. I'm grateful to have learned a few tricks with her, that I can admit, but, overall? I don't want to live that life ever again.”
18. What do you think of Yuuri?
“Yuuri almost reminds me of myself in the past. Almost. I feel like there is more to him than what is shown. The way Yuuri keeps calm most of the time, no matter what, is admirable. Like nothing sets him off... but that can't be the case, right?”
19. What is your ideal type?
“Type... I don't have a type. Of course I won't choose someone who disrespects me or hurts me, if I wanted that I would still be a servant. But I won't put up several expectations either, unless I want to die alone.
Well... It's hard to pinpoint, but someone with whom I don't need to be alert at all times would be nice. I don't ask for much, do I?”
20. How do you realize you are in love?
“What a difficult question... I believe that it's already too late for me when I finally realize, but... hm.
The moment I find myself smiling like an idiot, like no one is watching me and I wouldn't mind if they do... maybe that moment means love for me. When I want to show off, do less things alone, and... not a single figure, but one alongside mine instead, fills my mind. No matter what they do, it will look beautiful in my eyes, and...
——I digress. Ah, how cheesy... Forget it, I am yet to get used to it. It is as frightening as it is addictive...”
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eyes-inthe-dark · 3 months
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Hi Hello I actually make things sometimes
I don't know if anyone who follows me is interested in this stuff bc I very rarely post things from my own life, but I decided to be a little more active on here besides reblogging funny shit regarding my current hyperfixation.
So, here is the (incomplete) crafting diary of a neurodivergent trans person surviving christmas with the family and the dark and dreadful times (winter) in general by making shit! with my hands!
First: fiber stuff
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I picked up tablet weaving over the last few months of 2023 and made my first pair of somewhat mistake-free shoelaces over the holidays! Only got the pattern completely right on the second try with the red but both laces now get to add a fun little detail to my shoes.
Next I tried a more complicated pattern and experimented a lot, hence the irregular pattern and troubleshooting at the start of the band. I'm now repurposing it as a camera strap and I learned a lot from it tho.
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My current setup is basic cardboard tablets (I had to make extra ones so I had enough for the last band with 30 cards), tying the warp to something sturdy like a bookshelf, and sitting down with a backstrap belt on the other side of the room. I used thin wool yarn for this, which stuck to itself quite a lot, but not too much to be unmanagable, and I really like how the finished product feels.
If anyone's interested, I could make a longer post on how I made the shoelaces, I think it's a very beginner friendly project.
I managed to get my hands on a drop spindle and gave that a try, but I ran out of wool after making a very small amount of very chunky yarn and am currently working out where to best get sth local. It was fun tho!
I also finally finished the knitted scarf that has been in my wip pile for... approximately three years? I started it when I was still in school, feels like an eternity ago. It's just a simple (although very long) red wool scarf, but it keeps me nice and warm in this cold, harsh- *checks weather* ...5°C and neverending rain.
Next up: woodworking!
Noodled around with my grandpa's old dremel that we still had lying around, which resulted in this truly terrifying weapon:
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Behold! I named it Toothling. It's great for poking friends and family when they least expect it.
This was more of a test run to see if it all still works and to try out doing small scale work with wood, now I gotta think of something fun to make. (I say, as if I didn't already have 50 different ideas)
Before that fuckery, I made this magnetic dice box/rolling tray for my lovely partner's birthday.
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Though I don't feel like I can take credit for working the CNC magic on this, I did all the hands-on work with the sanding, assembling the magnets, shellac coating, and whatnot. I'm pretty sure wood is some sort of fruit tree, since it smells strongly of what I suspect might be plum or cherry.
Last but sure as fuck not least: embroidery
This I actually get professional instruction for at uni. I've kinda lost patience for it atm, but mostly because I cannot resist making unnecessarily complicated pieces with tiny little stitches and then am forced to finish it because I do actually kinda need to pass this class. My lecturer keeps telling me not to go so detailed, yet I have proven resistant to her good advice. But, I figured if I have to make two full pieces of embroidery to be graded on and put hours of work into, I might as well choose designs that I can turn into patches for my jacket:
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Catha and Ruidus! I love me some big moon little moon imagery. The prompt was to incorporate most of the techniques/stitches we've learned so far. Added the little gold chain stitch around ruidus for the arcane latticework. It came out a little wonky shape wise, but I love it nonetheless.
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And my most recent wip, a stained glass window design with the Ninth House skull and Gideon's sword behind it, to feed my current Locked Tomb obsession.
And that's it!
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boyakishantriage · 10 months
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"I will stab you. Fuck off."
The alien wisely fucked off. My first time ever on a ship and aliens already assuming that humans are all the same. An adage of crew, Christ is is gonna be a long two years.
"... The new humans are different."
"Eh? Oh. Yeah. Ellie's a bit. It takes a while before she's. Y'know. Plus she uh. Lost a few people recently so she's been a little."
"bit of a bitch."
"I was gonna say prickly, but that works too."
It took a week before it wore off. Dan and Sarah both managing to not freak out the rest of the crew when I say on top of the ship. Not wearing a space suit.
"WHY IS SHE UP THERE?"
"Oh. Right. Um."
"HOW DID SHE GET THERE??"
"See, the uh. Funny thing-"
"... Where's her space suit?"
A tall ass lanky mother fucker tapped my shoulder, small jelly fish glowing animals floating around me as he sat beside me.
"Y'know, I've seen a lot of things in my life."
"Hm?"
"But humans are the strangest thing-"
"Drop the pretentious shit."
"Pardon?"
"has anyone every told you you sound like an old man?"
"I- I do??"
"Seen a lot of things in my life. Sounds like my fucking old ass friends. How old are you?"
"489 earth years."
"You species. How old are ya?"
"24"
"Sorry, I didn't hear that."
"gargoborble"
"English."
"...24."
"24 and you talk with the same pretentious fuckery as a 120 year old who wants to fuck with the youth. I'm fucking 34 and I have less obviousness than you."
She flicked the keys to the ship between her hands. The jelly fish like animals floating away as they lost interest in her.
" Oh right. How are you-"
"Magic."
"magic?"
"Y'know what mana is?"
"..."
"Basic idea. Everything connected, even void. Matter. Energy. Whatever you call it's the thing that connects all shit is called mana. Magic is wielding that mana to do shit. Augment strength, harden skin, shields. Protection. Blah blah blah. Long story..."
She trailed off, looking over at the asteroid field as it passed.
"did you see that?"
"... What?"
"thought I saw a ship."
"Out here?"
"Hmmm. Yeah I'm gonna go inside."
She walked past the captain, walking along the steel as her feet glowed. Placing hand on the controller, it glowing with blue light before the door opened. Without the key into the ship.
"You coming?"
A crowd of aliens rushed forward, asking questions and increasing my headache. I grumbled, before pushing mana out. Same motion as moving your arms out to push people away, a circle formed around me as the captain walked in.
Ignoring the increased questions, as aliens stood in shock. I then lifted the crew up.
"Someone go check the monitors before I lose my patience. Saw something out there. I can explain how I'm doing this when we're not-"
The ship's gravity suddenly shifted, people falling backwards as I held my ground. Something clamped onto the back end of the ship, magnets of some sort near the botanical ball.
"EIGHTY-"
"Nine pirates. I know. DAN. SWORDS!"
He tossed me my swords.
"Ok. So captain. I can either go kill them all, or I can let you do whatever you think we should do."
Tall, lanky grey ish purple and with a purple supernova in his eyes, he thought carefully. Dan already had herded the crew back, Sarah no doubt already had stolen a gun and was hiding in ambush somewhere.
The man shrugged. Turning to the panicking crew. So not no. Not yes. And I had no idea what U was gonna fight so...
I charged down the hall, sword in hand as I slid my way down halls. Technically I had some idea, but the ship was kinda big. Like a container ship big, the lower deck had a lot of crates and shit, only way in is the hangar which is locked and stuff and you can't cut that open or something.
I soon bumped into my first group of pirates. Chicken men, scars lining body. Hmm. Kinda like that Ben ten race-
The human ducked under the flames, blade catching the heat as she swung the weapon forward. My brother caught the blade, before he was thrown into me.
Momentum, basic idea is I just swirl around and I can redirect inertia towards an object, using this, I can turn a kick into a swivel and a stumble into a toss.
Ice forced the two against the wall, unable to move their legs what heat they produced barely even melted the pair. Sword in hand, the woman. Raced down the hall.
"ATTACK!!" The buffalo like alien had time to turn, drop the captive as then get a sword stuck in his chest.
The human rose up, the big guy's back turning to face them as she threw the body over herself, sword embedded in his chest throwing the line of pirates into the shit as she drew a second blade.
Plasma blades were drawn, the insect like thing swinging the glaive quickly as he scraped the floor, long sword twirling, catching the sword, I kicked the insects leg out. Pulling a striking claw away, before slicing the insect with its own glaive stabbing it into the ground as it tried to regenerate or something.
The human began using the glaive with panicked ease, parry and slicing legs, U til.it was taken off her in which she headbutted the alien hard enough it staggered. Growling, claws grew from her hands. Her body glowing as she dropped to her fours and charged into the ship.
She drove the ship into the hanger, claw marks covering the pirates' crew, tied up in the smaller more mobile ship.
The crew stared at the woman, then the tied up crew.
"Getting the feeling, some of y'all have never seen a human special forces person before." She stated, pulling the sword out the quarsian's chest, flame cauterizing the wound.
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chiefwritesbook · 2 months
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it's time for a writeblr (re)intro
Hi
(I swear I never know how to write these BUT)
My name is Chief. I publish under T.C. Smith and I write SFF with a sprinkle of romance & political drama. I have a cat and two birds (they do not get along). I published a book last year and it's vv exciting (link here or smth if you're curious). I should probably also add at this point that this is a side blog which means I cannot follow you back directly - I will instead follow back via my main blog @the-chiefster.
In terms of hobbies, I am a hobby collector, which largely means I have more hobbies than I know what to do with and far too much impulse not to buy crafting supplies despite not needing them. I do digital art which I mostly post on my main, and here are some arts of my blorbos to break up the undoubtedly long text wall.
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I also like to make chainmail. This came as a surprise to myself when I discovered that I actually enjoy it because I have approximately zero patience and linking together individual rings together until it resembles jewellery doesn't seem like something I would enjoy, but alas. I'd post some pictures of my chainmail stuff but it's all on my phone and I have none photography skill so they all kinda suck anyway.
My third and final hobby of note is gaming, and my current hyperfixation just so happens to be Baldur's Gate 3. As of the time of writing I recently lost a 43 hour honour run to fkn Orin the Red of all bosses and to make things worse it was a completely preventable loss if I didn't get greedy with hits. I have a foot in many game fandoms but notable ones include Genshin Impact, Dishonored, and The Legend of Zelda.
Please also enjoy this perfect setup from my dead BG3 honour run where every single ghost in the sacrifice chamber lined up for Shadowheart's Turn Undead.
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Anyway, about my actual writing - I will have a proper WIP intro for my main WIP at some point (linked here once I make it) and here is a master post for the worldbuilding in said WIP. If, however, you are like me and the ADHD brain won't let you sit through a bigass tumblr post without getting distracted, please enjoy the below tl;dr
SOTAL follows the story of Talin, an elven queen who inherited an entire war along with the kingdom she's ruling over and now has to sort through an entire court conspiracy, all while trying her hardest to make sure that her people don't all get eaten by angry demon werewolves. Tragically, despite her best efforts, she falls in love with her bodyguard (who is definitely not a werewolf btw) and ends up falling even deeper down the black hole of court conspiracy and generally doing her best to keep people in the kingdom alive. Some shit goes down, lots of murder happens, everyone comes away from it traumatised.
I have now run out of things to ramble about, so if you made it this far, congrats. Have a cookie 🍪. Also go follow my art main @the-chiefster if you want.
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rotworld · 1 year
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i hope the new year has been kind to you !! please don’t feel pressure to write. take time to rest well. i go back and reread old pieces of yours all the time! i admire your writing a lot and wanted to ask if you had any more advice about writing .. am excited for whatever you post, whenever it is you post it ^__^ your sandman fic is so evocative and interesting.. the prose is so .. thick in a glutinous dough kind of way.. i don’t know where it’ll go.. thank you again!
thank you and happy new year! so far so good lol i’m with family and very happy. i appreciate your patience and understanding. while i am working on stuff again, i’m also sort of stranded away from home until the later part of this month lol so my schedule is a bit strange.
as for writing advice, here are some exercises to try!
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->rewrite a classic: china mieville wrote four final orpheuses, a short story which explores four different reasons why orpheus failed in his quest to bring eurydice back from the underworld. these range from a moment of weakness to simple human error and tell radically different stories about their relationship and his state of mind in just a few brief snippets. 
find a story like a classic myth or fairy tale and rewrite it in ways that resonate with you. change the ending, reinterpret the characters, or focus on a different perspective. if you’re not sure what to do, try coming up with questions you want answered or alternate possibilities: how did marya morevna first defeat and capture koschei the deathless? what does the sea witch get up to when mermaids aren’t pestering her to see the surface world? hope is the last thing in the box pandora opens; what does it look like, and what does she do with it?
->imitate another writer’s style: i made a post one time about voice and said you shouldn’t feel pressure to change it, but i also think going out of your way to emulate another writer for an exercise can be fun and useful. for the sandman fic, i tried to imitate the “feel” and structure of gaiman’s writing. when i first read the comic, i was really amazed by how many plot threads he would juggle each arc, and how those threads would weave together in the finale, so i wanted to use that along with the more dreamy, surreal prose and absurd humor. 
find a writer or specific work that you enjoy and wouldn't mind imitating stylistically. study their voice (the aforementioned post has specific examples of what to look for) as well as how the work is structured. you could write fanfiction or something original with this exercise, but i think it’s easiest to stay in the same genre and use similar themes or aesthetics as the work you’re using for reference. 
->if you get stuck, time travel: recently i read a book on revisions (unfortunately can’t remember the title/author, i skimmed it at the star but didn't buy it) that gave advice along the lines of “if you suddenly get stuck and can’t figure out why, the problem is several sentences ago.” the thinking here is that we sometimes write ourselves into a corner without realizing it, and you need to back out of the corner by retracing your steps. you might’ve gotten bored or lost focus and that made the last few sentences really rough or go in a direction that’s hard to work with. go back a paragraph or two and reexamine what you have, cutting it entirely if need be. 
alternatively, i’ve found that if i get stuck at the very start of a piece, then the problem is where i’m choosing to start. i’ve been working on something about certain characters involved in certain illicit businesses and wanted to open with a party at a fancy venue. i was hellbent on opening with some scene-setting narration/exposition on the venue itself as the reader travels there, and i wasn't getting past the first sentence. so eventually i shifted forward. instead, the reader would have just arrived at the venue and the opening would introduce one of the characters at the party. this also just didn't work, so i moved forward even further. everyone's at the venue, the party has been going on for a while, and it starts with the reader considering the reasons they should not be at this party. what ended up working was cutting my initial, slow-paced plan and starting closer to the action, and i think that's a good idea in most situations. 
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mbti-notes · 11 months
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Anon wrote: Hi! I’ve read a lot of your posts, especially your ones about the inferior functions which was really informative to me. (Thank you!). I am fairly sure that I am an XSTJ type. I was wondering if you could give your insight on which one you think is more likely? I can’t figure out the order of the functions but I think I use Si Te Ne and Fi. Sorry this is kind of long.
For background on my Fi section - I have recently had some problems in a workplace — bullying/unsafe practice/poor management. It escalated and fell apart in a big way (I got screwed over basically lol) and I eventually made the tough decision to leave for my own well-being. I had been involved with the company for 2 years and gave everything I had to that company. It was my dream job and I worked so hard for it. And I worked so hard for my degree too. My friends and family and even colleagues told me it wasn’t my fault and they would’ve quit too and they told me I handled it well. I feel like I defined myself on my work. I was so proud of my … success? I guess. I don’t even know.
This first part I have this sort of recurring issue in my life where something goes wrong at work for example and I start feeling this way when normally i’m fairly level headed and ambitious. I think it’s Fi, and maybe inferior? I thought I was an ISTJ but your description of inferior Fi really landed with me lol.
It’s like I’m having some sort of existential crisis. I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore or maybe I never did. I question everything about myself. I am trying so hard to figure out what matters to me and I can’t. I don’t know where to go in life. I’m so emotional for no reason. I feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I’m pushing my friends and family away because I’m embarrassed that I had to leave my job. I’ve isolated myself from everyone. I feel so irritable all the time and I hate it. I feel like I failed.
People close to me have told me I need to stop being so hard on myself but I don’t know how. I feel like I’m wasting my time and my life by being so emotional. It’s so incredibly frustrating. It’s not like me, usually I bounce back and try again but this has really shaken me up. I feel like I should ‘follow my heart’ so I can be happy and fulfilled but I don’t even know what I want and I’m wasting time trying to decide, the more time passes the more restless I feel. I’m so scared of getting old and dying with regrets about the way I’ve lived my life. I think I’m also scared of not being able to make my family proud or make myself proud. I’m so torn and lost. I don’t know how to stop defining myself and my worth on like … working lmao.
More generally, I think I can get stuck in patterns where I worry excessively about my values and who I really am. It happens maybe a couple times a year lmao. But I also think I usually do know my values? There are things I don’t tolerate and have no patience for and like I wouldn’t change my mind on it cos it’s one of my core values. Like, bullying/injustice/unfairness etc. So I don’t know if my Fi is inferior. I have a lot of feelings, I just usually like to avoid them but I’m getting better at dealing with them on a day to day basis, unless something happens like my work drama. I don’t share my feelings with people easily cos I don’t like feeling vulnerable. I know it’s like a necessary part of the human experience though.
When I was in my teens I went to therapy and didn’t cry in therapy for years lol. Every time I almost cried I stopped talking and pushed it down until I could continue. They always told me it’s okay to cry but I always told them I hate crying cos it makes me feel weak. I’ve grown up some since then lol and i know crying or emotion isn’t a weakness. Logically I know that and would never consider someone else weak for crying or expressing emotion. I think it’s a good thing and healthy. Still, I struggle to stop seeing it that way in myself and always beat myself up when I know I shouldn’t. It’s one of my biggest struggles in life. I do cry in front of some people now though hahaha. (And then feel v embarrassed later!) lol.
For Ne, I have a tendency to catastrophize and assume the worst. Like, if one of my family members goes out for a drive and doesn’t text me when I know they should have arrived at the destination by now. I start to think something bad must have happened to them and I start panicking.
It used to be way worse when I was younger and I did it with everything. Car trips, plane rides, being picked up late from school, etc. Maybe that’s just anxiety tho? I tend to prepare for the worst because I don’t like getting caught off guard. I’m known for being a worry-er in my family lol. I worry about everyone. I heard that like imagining multiple worst scenarios for a situation can be low/ inferior Ne.
I think I can use Ne sometimes though. I’m bad at mind mapping and stuff like that, it doesn’t come naturally but I’m good at planning holidays and coming up with ideas of places to go or things to do/see. I get excited about stuff like that, and I like thinking about the future and possibilities of things I could do. I just tend to be more focused on like my life in the here-and-now. And I have to try pretty hard to think in that big expansive mind-map way lol. I sucked at doing mind maps in school.
I think I’m maybe a Si user, because I don’t think I’d even exist without memories. Everything I do and see and experience is for and guided by my memories. Idk though that’s probably true for everyone, do individual people even exist without their memories? it’s like, what makes us unique. There’d be hardly any difference between people if it weren’t for their memories and experiences. Everything i’ve ever done, ever seen, smelled, touched, tasted or heard has made me who I am. I can’t go anywhere without being reminded of the experiences and connections i’ve had before. It’s just intrinsic to who I am. Part of the reason I love music is just the way it can bring you back to an exact moment in time and you can relive it like you’re there. It’s the way I navigate the world I think. I know what to do because i’ve seen it before and if I haven’t then i research to figure out how. I can’t just do things with no preparation.
Te — I think it’s maybe Aux or not dominant because i find it hard to think about how I use it lol, I just do. but idk I’ll try. I rely heavily on data and facts and statistics. I won’t believe anything without proof. I won’t make a claim if I can’t back it up with reliable evidence. I care about efficiency, I like things to be done and done right lol. I often end up doing things myself in group projects and organising the work + delegating tasks to everyone else. When I was studying I organised like all the group work cos otherwise nothing got done lol. And I usually ended up editing and cutting it together at the end so I could make sure it was coherent and looked good.
I like to help my family organise their life admin stuff because I’m good at it. I plan holidays cos I’m good at it, I know how to make a plan that makes sense and works. I research where things are in relation to each other so I can make an itinerary that gets the most done each day with the least amount of time wasted on travelling from A to B etc. I was good at making step by step plans for essay writing at uni and then followed them to get it done. I love writing to do lists for myself and using schedules. I can’t work without a to do list or a schedule lol i write one like every day. Even when I had jobs where I did the same thing every day I wrote a list to keep me on track.
When my friends have their lives falling apart they usually come to me to help them with a game plan lol. Sometimes I do get overwhelmed and stressed, but I feel like in serious crisis situations I’m usually able to put aside any feelings and just get shit done. I’ve had family medical emergencies on my hands before or a loved one getting evicted before and have managed to just go into action mode and deal with the problem first and then feel however i feel about what happened a few days later lmao. Feelings get in the way in situations like that imo and there’s no time for it when shit is hitting the fan. I can be bossy sometimes in moments like that but usually apologise later and people understand that I was just dealing w the problem at hand lol and my bossiness wasn’t personal.
I just thought of an example of what I think is me using Te. There was one time where I was with my mum and brother. Somehow a chemical got spilled on the tiles, was left there overnight and kinda destroyed them. My mum was like absolutely devastated and got so emotional and angry, she was blaming herself and also thinking we would have to spend a lot of money to get it fixed and then regretting buying the house in the first place because it has these tiles haha like she was so upset, my brother was mostly just standing there looking concerned and trying to calm her down. I had no idea how to clean chemicals off that type of of tile nor what to do to fix it when it was destroyed by chemicals.
The most obvious and simple solution to me was to just google what to do and find out. (and part of me was surprised that they hadn’t done it yet lmao). So I did that, found out what kind of tiles they were and how to clean off the chemical without making it worse etc. (checked a few different sources to make sure it was reliable info) And then I told them what I’d read and suggested we try it. And then i told everyone what we needed to get and what we needed to do and the 3 of us got to work lmao. And the tiles looked sooo much better after. Everyone stopped freaking out and it was fine, we ended up having fun cleaning the tiles together lol. And then my mum and brother were like ‘good job!’ and were thanking me. I remember thinking it was kinda silly to thank me for that cos I barely did anything to be thanked for, like I literally couldn’t imagine going about that situation in any other way. it was the only thing to do that made sense.
Anyway ok I’m gonna leave it here. If you read this far thank you so much for your time. I’d be grateful for your opinion but I also understand you get a lot of asks like this so I get it if not! Thanks again!
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All type assessment requests must follow the instructions on the contact page carefully. You must answer all the questions from the Function Theory Guide for every function of the two stacks you are comparing. It is especially important to address all the points meticulously when you are comparing two very similar types like ISTJ and ESTJ.
Since you didn't follow the instructions properly, the info you provided isn't enough for me to draw any firm conclusion about your type. The most I can say is that nothing you've brought up makes me doubt ISTJ. What you seem to believe is inferior Fi (grip) isn't very convincing to me so far. You also mention receiving therapy and did not specify the reason, but that would be a very important clue for determining unhealthy aspects of your function use.
About the existential crisis: There's nothing wrong with taking pride in your work. As an individual, you have the freedom to decide how much to value work among all the other things in your life. While it's important to know and honor your values, in the real world, you don't have the time, energy, or resources to value everything equally. There are no perfect decisions, no such thing as "having it all". When you choose one path, other paths become unavailable to you. Practical limitations and constraints force you into valuing some things more than others, and you have to make some difficult trade-offs in order to keep life moving forward.
Every trade-off you make will have its up and down sides. The downside to devoting so much of yourself to career is that you will be prone to feeling some form of devastation when things go wrong in that area of your life. Similarly, the stay-at-home parent who identifies too strongly with being a parent will suffer some form of devastation when the kids grow up and move out. The price of living a life fully engaged with what you're doing is feeling a sense of loss or grief when it inevitably ends.
Every trade-off you make in life has consequences. You might not feel them right away, but they will come eventually. How do you deal with them? There are a variety of possibilities:
"Diversification": Make your trade-offs wisely so that you mitigate the impact of the consequences. For example, don't put all your eggs in one basket. Have other equally valid ways of defining your identity. However, this means spreading yourself more thinly.
"Commitment": Follow through with your decisions to the very end. Take full responsibility for the trade-offs you make, which means fully embracing the consequences incurred. In other words, accept the reality of your situation and keep moving along.
"Change": Perhaps the devastation was a sign that you need to do things differently or make different choices. Enact the change that is required to avoid suffering the same sort of devastation again.
"Reframe": Look at your devastation from various angles. Is there a different way to find meaning in it? For example, perhaps you're blowing the situation out of proportion? The problem wasn't that you failed? The problem was you were working for a company with terrible leadership that did not allow you to flourish? Therefore, the lesson isn't to quit the work and give up your identity, but to quit the company and find a better company that truly appreciates your talent and devotion. Or start your own company with full control over how it operates.
You mention recurring issues with managing feelings and emotions. It seems to stem from a tendency to interpret situations much more negatively than is warranted, which leads you to get trapped in the most negative perspective available. The stubborn refusal to see your experiences differently even when others point out how wrong you are might be indicative of Si+Fi loop. The lack of open-mindedness, in terms of not being able to acknowledge or generate alternative viewpoints, might be indicative of inferior Ne. ESTJs are usually more mentally flexible than that and also much more willing to rationalize away their failures, which doesn't fit with your tendency to feel excessively responsible, embarrassed, and ashamed for everything.
Thus, there is compelling evidence that Te+Ne development is required for getting out of the (Si+Fi) mental trap, which suggests that your extraverted funcitons are the weaker pair. It sounds like the most logical way out of the existential crisis is to take control of your life and start a new chapter, to find a place where you can feel both fulfilled and appreciated. Are you resisting proper use of Te? If so, perhaps you need to reflect on why.
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Step 3 Derek: Lunch
I didn’t announce it on Tumblr, but I recently fell in love with Our Life: Beginning and Always. Specifically, Derek. So I’m planning a fan story of sorts. I completed this Memory but I want to edit it more and put a sample up while I continue working.
You can imagine whatever you want going in the input spaces, and it would still work with the story.
But know that the characters only have their Base responses right now for the most part. (the part in the game that doesn't change no matter the player Input.) and Some answers are put in for you already so the story can work properly.
But that's all in the way of Disclaimers. Enjoy!
*********
It was a peaceful day in Sunset Bird. Spent like any other.
With age comes freedom and you would think with owning this freedom for two years now you and Cove would know how to spend it besides walking across the beach.
But your Summer daily tradition has never failed you, and soon a fresh idea on how to spend today will grace you with enough patience.
Or boredom.
Today was no different.
Cove stopped in his tracks with a sigh and checked his watch. Again.
He had been doing that since you found him on your front step just over an hour ago.
Before it was just a Cove Tick and you were sure he'd come clean about whatever was bugging him sometime within this year. But now that he's starting to add on temporary paralysis to the action, it seemed more and more like he was either finally about to crack or this was more serious than you first thought.
Cove sighed like he did each time he opened his phone, but luckily this time you didn't have to wait long until he turned his eyes on you.
He bit his lip and finally you lost the will to be patient.
*** Do You rush or stay Patient***
His will crumbled almost instantly. Cove was always rather open with his thoughts. "My dad invited me for lunch, I was pretty whatever about it until today. He mentioned this morning before I left, it'd be with Mr. Suarez." He explained with a sigh.
You caught on to the trouble immediately and it explained a lot as to why cove seemed in love with his phone more than usual today.
You didn't get much out except for a small "I see", before he continued.
"I wouldn't have agreed if I knew if wasn't going to be just us. Mr. Suarez showing means it's going to be a business lunch. Dad hates them but I'm just supposed to take one for the team because it's a 'family business'" He made air quotes around the statement, and it took a lot for you not to explain that a 'family business' is exactly what it is.
*** You feel...***
You somehow felt now wasn't the time to voice your thoughts on the matter. Supportive or not.
But Cove seemed to run out of steam by then.
***Supportive? Express Jealousy? Quiet***
You watch him and don't do much to hide your feelings from your face as you come up with something to say. "Is it really that bad?"
"Well… no. I've never been forced to go and when I had to it's mostly just eating and listening to My dad speak about work with his partner. I guess hearing about the diving is cool. But it's less cool to hear about numbers and stuff I don't get and watch the world's most boring podcast." He pocketed his phone and started walking again, before continuing. "And being asked 'how is school treating you, Jr?' For the thousandth time is grating…"
"But you're out of school now." You tried your best to be optimistic but all it did was tear the most earnest, guttural groan from Cove's lips you've ever heard.
"You're right. That means whatever questions he asks, I'm gonna be hearing for the rest of my life!"
***Joke or comfort?***
"Well, what about Derek...?" You remember how serious your friend was about the business. How polite he was too. He would never talk to interrupt the adults at the table but that doesn't mean he's mute. Derek is great company to have in this kind of situation.
"Derek?" Cove let out a sigh and you thought the last sound was filled with hopelessness. Apparently Cove has a lot more in his arsenal than he let on. "Derek is always busy. Practice. Watching his brothers. Work. Volunteering. He hasn't shown up to a lunch since our junior year."
You frowned, understanding your Friend's troubles.
***Comfort, Joke, or quiet***
"I'll go with you." It came out before you yourself even realized you felt so generous.
"Really?" He looked at you with excitement and disbelief that you'd offer to do something so torturously boring as sit in on a business lunch when you didn't have to.
You hoped you didn't look just as surprised yourself. Steeling yourself up as you continued.
"Yeah, I mean. Your problem is just that you're stuck between two adults, right? Well, maybe two and a half would help?"
"Yes! I won't forget this! You're the best." Cove said grabbing you by the shoulders.
***accept touch or move away?***
Your eyes softened at your childhood friend. it seems he lost all the tension collecting in his shoulders before becoming serious again. Whatever he says now is life or death serious. It was a bit of a funny look to see on Cove’s face. But you managed to match the mood.
"I'll find a way to repay you."
You almost brush it off before realizing that it's useless when cove makes a promise.
"Okay." You settle on instead and it seems to placate the boy infant of you as he turns on his heels to make his way back down the beach.
After you turn onto your street Cove finally stops in his tracks.
You only notice after you take a few of your own steps forward and don’t hear the echo you’re so used to.
"Cove?"
You know… you don't have to come." He relents although happily accepting the offer just 10mins prior. He was practically jumping for joy.
It's a wonder how quickly you move when you have a plan and direction. You had been wandering the beach for an hour.
You smile at his as he glances away. Perhaps having the time to realize how he might be imposing on you.
***Support or Joke***
"These things can get really boring. So it's okay… if you'd rather not..?" He tries, Hunching in on himself more and more as he speaks. And you quietly wonder how many octaves his voice can raise at this rate.
"I want to go. It could be fun." You end simply.
"Okay but just fake a stomachache or something and I'll get you right out of there."
After exchanging nods to say we understand each other, we continued on to his home.
Cove stepped through the doors of his familiar childhood home with practiced ease.
Or perhaps it's just the ever-unlocked doors. You'd imagine he could easily slam right into it had it been locked from the way he'd been moving. You still couldn’t imagine life without that tiny bit of security of a flimsy lock.
You take in the living room you stepped in countless times growing up. It had the distinct smell of whatever they had for breakfast and seawater. The Holden Men aroma.
***You feel...***
Whatever feelings you might have, it still smells Firstly like your second home.
Mom would say your home right across from home.
"Cove?" You hear a voice break through from further into the house. Mr. Holden making his grand entrance shortly after. "You're in early? That's a-"
He stopped in his tracks as soon as his eyes landing on you. Giving the trademark adult knowing smiles. "Yin. What a surprise. I guess that explain the earlier than expected arrival."
"Dad. I spoke to Them already about the lunch today…"
"Did you?" He asked without much of an actual question behind it. As if trying to gage what Cove was trying to ask for before he did.
"Yeah. Can they come?" He asks straightforwardly and we both watch as Mr. Holden makes a show of considering it.
"Well… you really have great timing for these kinds of questions son…" he glances away before closing his eyes with a sigh. One you couldn't help stealing a glance at Cove for.
They’re almost the same person sometimes. "I'll call Gregario and let him know we'll have a fourth wheel to round us out."
"Thanks dad…" Cove said with an almost apologetic smile, knowing that he made his dad's like just a tiny bit harder today.
"Hey, no problem. I get they're not the most fun in the world, but boring things are helped a lot by having a friend along. Well… most things." His wording there made you realize you actually don't know much about Mr. Holden and who his friends are. Or his family. Other than Cove and his ex-wife.
***assumptions on Cliff's life/ your feelings on Cliff***
You glanced towards Cove as the conversation around you continued wondering if cove has mentioned cousins from his dad. Or friends of his dad out side of your moms. It probably happened in passing while you were too young to really care about adult personal lives.
Cove explains. Mr. Holden Knowing smile.
"Yeah… that's the idea…" Cove said and you wondered if he managed to feel guilty about his dad figuring out he didn't like these lunches and dinners.
Mr. Holden reached over and squeezed his son's shoulder in support "Don't worry about it."
Whatever silent message that sent proofed to reassure Cove just enough to let him meet his dad's eyes with a small nod.
"Alright well I'm going to call Gregario now. You two get ready to head out in about an hour from now. It's nothing too fancy but it's Yin's first day as an honorary businessperson. That's a special occasion," with that he took off, presumably to do exactly what he said he would.
Cove turned to you with a shrug. "None of us really ever 'get dressed' for this. I'm gonna just wear this. But you can if you want" he said.
*** Change?***
You thought about it for a moment before deciding you should at least dine in something other than flip flops. "I'll be right back."
You hear a soft "okay" follow you out as you cut across the street back to your home.
Your Mom looks up from her spot on the couch as you make your way in. A smile gracing her face as soon as her eyes lay on you. "Yin. You're in early. And without Cove?"
You give her a short recap of what happened with Mr. Holden and why you need to change, and she seemed pleased. "I see… well it's great that the possibility of at least putting proper shoes even crossed your mind. I know even Cliff would sooner stay in sandals." You knew your mom was right and maybe even a little proud that she raised you to 'be a pleasant young adult'. She had her proud parent look on and her shoulders even raised slightly in pride and joy.
"Well don't let me stop your business adventure. What are you wearing?"
***Casual or Dress up?***
You responded simply and she nodded at your choice.
"Whatever you put on will look great and be fine."
With that she went back to reading on her tablet. You wondered if it was also work related, but there was no time to start a conversation. You have the Holdens waiting for you just across the street.
You bolted up the steps and into your room, thankfully without much trouble. And looked through your closet for something to wear.
Both of the Holden Men seemed just fine with any decision you made so you didn't need to deliberate over it too much.
***Confirm dress up choice***
It would be the first time you've seen Mr. Suarez since February though. Perhaps it wouldn't be bad to make the effort of looking a bit more adult now that you've graduated.
***Shirt, bottoms, accessories***
You decide on something in the middle. A dress shirt you kept crisp in your closet for special occasions and a decent pair of jeans.
Closing the look out with a few bracelets you bought from your last couple trips to the mall.
***Hair care***
After messing around with your hair several time you finally decided that it looked the perfect amount of 'I didn't really care' chic.
You quietly wondered if there was anything else you need.
***Yes/No***
Luckily you found nothing else. Perfect.
You grabbed your wallet on the way out, making sure never to make that mistake again and went downstairs.
You heard a shutter of a camera flash as your mother stood there with her phone held up to her face.
"My sweet child on their way to their first business meal." You rolled your eyes at her antics "I should put this on the fridge as a souvenir."
***Annoyed/playful***
"Mom! It's not even my business. I'm just going to support Cove." You giggled slightly despite yourself. You wanted to be serious. It's your serious business time. There were no workplace shenanigans to be had here.
"Okay, okay. Don't let me hold you. I'm just going to go print this out."
"Mom!"
She laughed as she made her way past you to go upstairs. Despite being 80% sure your mom was just joking part of you worried she would be willing to commit all that Ink just for a laugh.
No time to test that though, you had Plans with the Holden Men.
When you step out of the house, you’re greeted by just the men you wanted to see. Mr. Holden is the first one to notice you with his usual calm smile. “Welcome back you’re just in time.”
Cove looked over his shoulder just as his father continued. “We were talking about the place we’re going to meet. It’s an All-American Diner. I hope that’s okay.”
“We can grab you something else before we get there if not.” He looked at his watch perhaps clocking out how much time you have for a detour.
***Pitstop?***
“Diners are good.”
“Great. Let’s get this show on the road then.”
It’s not long before you make it to the restaurant. “I don't see their car. I think we beat him today.”
“We did leave early." Cove added on to his father’s finding. You don’t know when they were supposed to show up, but you can understand how 12:30 would count as an early lunch for most people.
Mr.’ holden undid his seatbelt. "Let's find a table, they'll be here soon." He didn’t follow it up with much more as he climbed out of the car and made his way to the entrance. You and Cove followed right in his footsteps. Keeping in time with his long strides. Cove didn’t have much trouble in that being so tall.
You traveled into the diner, it seems they really went as hard as they could on to the old timey feel of the place. They even had the red swingy stools you imagined a place like this needed. Booths in the middle and sides of the restaurant lined up neatly. Overhead lights lined up shielded by textured bumpy glass. You think you even saw a waitress walk past with a traditional milkshake glass.
***Your feelings on places like this***
It was kinda cool, like you were in a movie. You couldn't find a place like this in Sunset Bird at least.
You mention as much to Cove. And he looks around slowly taking in the area again before nodding. His eyes lingering over to the waitress you saw before. Now reaching over to serve a table.
"I can see that. A buddy cop movie." He agrees quietly.
"Which one of you is the loose cannon." Mr. holden nods as you all find a seat at a booth with line of sight to the door. You could only assume that it was to make it easy for Mr. Suarez to tell you were here. Even though, who could miss…
Cove turned to meet your eyes. A silent question of whether to play along shining in his eyes.
***Amused or not***
Cove mercifully decides not to leave the question hanging. "Put your hands up?"
You’ve never felt more threatened ever in your life then when Cove added on a shaky shrug to the request.
Cove’s Dad seems just as ticked by the display, putting his arms up in an impressive show of panic for someone laughing. "Oh god- do what he wants, he's crazy! He'll do it!"
Cove laughed softly "do what?"
Mr. Holden turns to you. Stage whispering to get your attention. "He's asking questions, you won't like him when he's asking questions."
Other tables were starting to look over to see the commotion and some were smiling and laughing at the impromptu show with their lunch.
"Dad…” Cove sank down in his seat. You guess taking notice of the attention placed on him.
“He’s here for two things.”
***Play Along with Mr. Holden?****
“Really?” Cove all but shrieked. “You’re [both?] ridiculous.”
You and Mr. Holden laugh warmly at the antics.
.
“Seems the party started without us.” All eyes looked up at the interruption. Cove for all his grief about coming, seems relieved when the image of Mr. Gregario Suarez made his way to the table.
"No, the crowd’s just warmed up for you. How are you, Gregario?” Cove’s dad stands holding his hand out for a shake, Mr. Suarez happily returns.
“Simply Grand! What about you, Cove! Yin!” His warm green eyes shine over to his two other business buddies for the night. He reaches over for a handshake from you to cementing the idea. Cove stood as tall as he could trapped by the table. You're sure it would have been done with almost practiced elegance if he wasn’t hunched over and reaching over your head.
This only seemed to amuse Mr. Suarez as he shook firmly. Then those eyes were fully cast on you. He made no moves to shake. You supposed to give you space to choose how to greet him.
***Wave, Shake, Fist bump, smile***
“Yin!?” Derek stepped out from behind his father with wide eyes at you.
You and Cove both look at him with just as much surprise on your faces. You were excited by the idea for seeing Derek before Cove shut the idea down completely. Now your childhood friend was standing in front of you. A complete surprise…
You turn to Mr. Holden wondering if he had anything to do with this.
***Are you upset, disappointed or amused by this surprise?***
“Dad!” It seems cove had a similar feeling about who the culprit was. And didn’t feel very happy about it.
“What?” He seemed surprised to be called before he looked between the 3 very suspicious young adults.  “No, this wasn’t me this time…” In his defense Cove’s dad seemed just as bashful about his history of surprises. “I didn’t know Derek was coming. When we were planning this Gregario said he would be going out with Junior…”
“That is what you told me last week…” Cove calmed down almost immediately. His dad was a secret keeper but never an outright liar. Cove trusted that completely.
***Are you as easily convinced?***
There was no immediate proof it was him, yet. All eyes soon fell onto the second father of the evening.
“Oops. well, it seems the cat is out of the bag.” Derek’s father seemed much less apologetic than when Mr. Holden was on the stand. “Well, yes. It was true. My sons did have plans. But when I learned Yin would be coming…” He trailed off. You were unsure if it was because he didn’t have the words or if he felt he said or than enough.
“Seriously, Dad!” It was Derek’s turn to Shriek. He seemed mortified by these events. Embarrassment shown plainly on his face.
***How do you feel about the words?***
“I knew he would regret it if he knew they were coming, and he didn’t. So, I sent Nico out instead. They can use the time to bond.” Mr. Suarez explained to no one in particular. Nodding to his own statement. As if finding his own reasoning logically airtight and sound.
Derek frowned lightly looking at the floor with a more than upset face. You couldn’t tell who it was meant for. “I promised I’d take Jorge out two weeks ago…”
“And you still can. Another time.” He put his arm over his son’s shoulder and said something quietly that you couldn’t make out from the diner’s other conversation. But whatever it was it made Derek recoil from his touch with a blush.
Mr. Suarez gave a boisterous laugh at their seemingly one-sided private joke and released his son. “Well! Let’s not be rude any longer. Come. Sit.”
Mr. Suarez took a seat next to Mr. Holden, and Derek let out a small sigh before looking for a seat to pull from another table. It seems picking a booth wasn’t the best call now that we had an unexpected guest… not that there was much of a choice there were bigger ones to the left of you. And a few tables to be pushed together.
“Yin. You wouldn’t mind moving over, would you?”
You opened your mouth to reply but before you could Derek spoke up.
“No! It’s fine. They don’t have to do that; I’ll just go ask for a seat. They’d get squished anyway.” He seemed uncomfortable with the idea of troubling a table for a chair. You knew he would choose to stand if that wasn’t also seen as equally rude in etiquette.
***Offer the seat,
Offer to move instead, Stay out of it, Thank Derek***
“Are you sure...?”
***Change your mind?***
You nodded and that seemed like enough for him. He glanced to cove who would be pinned against the wall with this decision. Cove only offered a small reassuring nod before turning back to his dad.
Derek moved to sit but then stopped. “Maybe I could take the middle?
***Trade seats, insist, tease***
“Just sit down, Derek.” You say.
Derek smiled before taking his seat. It was slightly unsure, but he seemed to relax a bit once he settled in.
You glance over and can’t help but notice he’s sitting as close to the edge as possible to give you room.
***Nudge playfully, Say nothing, Whisper encouragement***
He quietly scoots closer to you, and he tilts his head away but not enough to hide a bit of the smile he’s biting down.
To Be Continued...
So, the rest of this will assume that you had a crush on Derek in Step 2. And you agreed to marry him in 5yrs. And chose the options from his DLC that he would like the most.
I wanna have versions specifically catering to the Derek lovers who want to just be Friends, like the game. But that will probably take a while. Enjoy this taste for now!
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sintreaties · 1 year
Note
Let's be real u love the anon who asked u lots of question right?
Allow me to thank you for this question, because it gave me the chance to speak about something that’s been intriguing me for a while (albeit it’s more of a personal reflection, rather than a conversation with you specifically).
I’ve been answering anon asks for years and because this was my first experience being active in fandom spaces, I’ve come to consider it as a sort of social experiment.
To answer your question: no, I do not enjoy the last few asks. I don’t appreciate when people don’t take the hint and keep sending them.
In part, of course, it’s because I’ve grown tired. Tired of Kakegurui, but also of some of its fans. The asks I used to receive were also much more engaging and some were actually quite funny! Some anons were nice enough to come here just to share something they enjoyed, something unrelated to KKG, because they thought that I’d enjoy it too. I appreciate those anons a lot and I hope they’re having a nice day, just like the anons who reached out to talk about my fics and discuss what they liked or disliked about them.
I can’t remember if I mentioned it here, but for me, the anons of this blog are the equivalent of strangers stopping me in the streets while I’m minding my business. Some people ask for directions (meaning, some come here asking for writing advice and such) and if I can help them, it is my pleasure to do so. Some people come up to me to strike a conversation, and although I don’t always have the patience or the interest to indulge them, I do my best to reply.
And then there’s… the others.
Those are the ones that puzzle me. I don’t take what they say personally, nor do I give it much weight, because in the end, they’re still just strangers on the internet, but I’m still genuinely curious about why they do the things they do. It’s not like I’ve lost sleep over it but even as a writer, I’m very, very interested in understanding this kind of humanity. Everything has a reason, if you care to search for it.
So those anons, right. Some of them don’t even follow me: Why are they here?
Of course, one of the reasons is that this is an open space. You can come in, do your thing, get out. I’ll never know who you are so you don’t really feel like there’s going to be any substantial consequence to what you say.
There’s this quote by Robert A. Caro that goes, “When you have enough power to do what you always wanted to do, then you’re really gonna see what you always wanted to do.”
So you have the power to be rude, and stupid and nonsensical, right?
But why would you do it?
Like, if someone was to tell me “Hey, I don’t appreciate your avances”, well, I wouldn’t send them this kind of stuff:
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I’d feel like a loser, you see? I’d show no manners to the person who’s repeatedly said that they don’t appreciate this kind of messages (most importantly when those who send them are really trying to get my cell number!!!) and I’d also show such an incredible loneliness and hopelessness that I couldn’t help but be ashamed of myself.
Plus you’re doing this where everyone can see you! You’re on anon yes, but you know that you’re the one who wrote that stupid, rude or nonsensical ask. How can you not be embarassed about it? I suppose you’re either dumb enough to lack self-awareness or you’re so insecure that you’re much beyond that to torture yourself with silly concepts like dignity and self-respect.
I don’t mean it as an insult, really, I’m just trying to draw my own conclusions here. My power fantasy is to be a good, kind, interesting person in a community of equally good and nice and interesting people and yours is… this? Why?
Reading some of these asks feels like getting a glimpse of someone’s intrusive thoughts. You can tell that they didn’t stop to think before sending them. My mutuals have to thank me, because despite what I’ve been told recently by a friend, I still spare them the worst ones (which, curiously, have only really started to appear recently). This kind of stuff gives me such bad second-hand embarassment that if I try to put myself in the anon’s shoes I deal myself psychic damage.
Most of those people don’t even come to me because I’m Sintreaties and they have a problem specifically with Sintreaties. The problematic anons either disregard or forget the fact that they’re real, living people talking to another real, living person — who, incidentally, has nothing to do with them.
And it’s incredible, because again, I wouldn’t be able to act like some of you! Sometimes it helps to think that no matter how many times I’ve hit rock bottom, I’ve never sent anon hate nor have I ever harrassed someone online just because I could. But then, even in videogames I never pick the “bad route”. What’s the fun in that? If I have to be mean and pick a fight with someone, hell, let it be a fight that can win me something more than whatever you get from arguing with Twitter users.
In the end, the question for me isn’t “why are you doing this to me”.
For me, the question becomes: why are you doing this to yourselves?
Bro, go for a walk! Talk to your friends, and if you’ve got none, go ahead and make some! Go for a coffee all by yourself and joke with the guy at the counter! Jesus Christ man, you can do better than waste your time sending that kind of asks to a random person on the internet! You show so little self-love that I can’t help but feel compassion. Where’s your dignity? Where’s your self-respect, the innate, human drive that pushes us to be better, no matter what? If you’re so lonely and insecure, do something about it! The world is full of people who wish to be your friend and to know you for who you are. Take care of yourself, for god’s sake!
“Lighten up, it’s not that deep” — for some of you, yeah. We’re talking about the same people who can barely read and comprehend a manga, I don’t expect them to understand my point.
(And I don’t mean it as a “look at me, I am so superior to you, because I actually use my head to think things critically and I’m still in touch with my emotions even in online settings.”)
For you it’s just one or two weird asks. Since 2019, I’ve received hundreds of them.
Again, I’m still relatively new to fandom. I’ve “only” been around for a few years and I’ve mostly only interacted with KKG fans. I’ve also always tried to curate my experience, which is already lacking on its own compared to someone who’s been around for decades. On that note, I wonder if some older, more experienced users would like to share their opinions on the matter — on anon too, or course.
I still want to keep my askbox open, because some anons really have something new and interesting to bring to the table. Remember though: it’s not 2020 anymore. From now on, I really do suggest thinking well about an ask before sending it.
And on a final note, I’m told that one of my asks made it to the KKG struggles account on Twitter so I’d personally like to thank and shake hands with all the anons that made it possible🤝🍾🎉
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kelpiemomma · 6 months
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*Internet hugs perhaps?*
I do have a happy situation to tell,
An old lady I call her my grandma has a chihuahua that her and her littermates were rescued from puppy mill, and that dog did not want to do anything or go close to anyone the first couple of months, she was anxious and wouldn't eat much. My gran is a sweet and lives a laid back life, so that and with great patience after many months this dog came out of her shell, and is more active, she is the is the sweetest chihuahua I have ever met, most I've met are angry (it's nervousness I get it) while she's still is shy and hides from strangers like most chihuahuas but she doesn't grow at people. When too many people or loud children visit, grandma let's her have a safe space to hide away from the noise and crowd. My grandma has lost a dog recently before she got the chihuahua, That dog and my grandma was good to each other and seeing them glow up after being sad makes me happy.
Recently I think I got the dog to open up to me, I visit in the weekends and I see the little dog waiting for me in the door, she's used to my visits and today and last week she gets her paws in my knees and does excited zoomies and let's me pet her, before she would skitter away before I could get three feet close (don't worry I didn't chase her around and let her come to me in her own terms)
She's the goodest chihuahua I've ever met and I think we are friends now.
augh internet hugs were definitely appreciated 😩 🥺💚💚💚
I'm glad that your grab and the dog are getting along!! My grandma has a dog that we literally lured into her backyard off the street using turkey because he was just wandering. No microchip or collar, so she's had him for a few years now. The only person I understand he actually likes and seems out seems to be my mom, who's the person he initially followed into her backyard (which is funny because my mom loves dogs, but when you know her she's honestly more of a cat person) but he does like my grandma and aunt, who he lives with, as well. They had a Chihuahua mix who was the dog's friend, both of them pretty young (like. Four or five years old sort of young. Maybe a lil older?), but unfortunately he herniated a disc jumping off my grandma's bed and they had to put him down. The chi mix was, of course, the friendly and playful one between the two. I know my grandma has mentioned adopting another dog before, but I'm not sure if she'll do it with the one dog she currently has. Even though she's had him for several years he still has a lot of anxiety. He at least doesn't completely take off away from people anymore though!
M glad you're getting along with the dog better as well 💚 when it comes to animals who have been abused or neglected, I'm not an expert, but time, patience, and existing without asking anything of them helps. It might take a while but it helps. Malik, my horse, really only Likes a handful of people, and I think I'm at the top of his list. I spent a lot of time when I first got him just existing in the stall with him, or letting him loose in an arena and watching him, doing things on his terms. We took a lot of walks without demands. In our arena he likes to hang out by my side and lick my arm, but if Maevus is out she gets jealous and pushes him away from me. Not that she particularly wants to be around me, but she's not going to let HIM be around me 😂
I'm glad you two are friends now 💚 there's a special feeling when an animal who was afraid of people begins to like you! And I'm happy the chi has been able to start trusting you, because it really is a big step when they can do that 💚💚💚💚
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derireo-galge · 9 months
Text
Kitty's Sippy Cup 🐾
| 1,6k | little space | little Yoongi | yoonmin |
Jimin discovers something in the Genius Lab and doesn't understand why it freaks the fuck out of his hyung.
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[ Little Yoongi x Caregiver Jimin series]
Tags: sfw | canonverse | upset Yoongi | Jimin cares for him without really knowing the ropes | soft yoonmin | good ending
🐾
The bags were heavy and he was happy it wasn't a long distance to his destination. Jimin would most certainly fail as the employee of the month if he tried himself in delivery.
He peeked inside the bags full of food and delightfully noted that they all were his hyung's recent favourites. Feeling his fingers getting numb from the pressure, he readjusted his grip on the coffee cup he was holding and pressed the button. And then again and again.
Finally he got buzzed in and the door opened, revealing his hyung all neat and pretty, with his hair beautifully done and some subtle makeup on.
- Jimin-ah?
- Lost track of time again, hyung? We're having lunch here today, - Jimin smiled cutely and offered the cup to the elder.
- Come inside, - he said, letting Jimin in, - I was onto something with that beat.
Jimin set the bags down with a sigh of relief and started getting the containers and utensils out, arranging everything prettily on the table. They could well count it as a date with how busy they were.
- Have you been filming something?
- Sort of. Not sure if it will be out at all.
- You look really handsome, hyung.
Yoongi smiled subtly, clearing his work table, seeming like he didn't care about the compliment. Only the angle allowed Jimin to have a peek of his flushed cheeks.
- What have you brought? I skipped breakfast again.
- Hyung! - Jimin wanted to nag him a little bit like he usually did in a playful manner.
And that's when he noticed something just under the table. He didn't spot it until they sat on the couch and he immediately bent to pick it up.
- I think you dropped this, - Jimin said and looked at his hyung only to see his calm expression change immediately.
His eyes went wide and he looked scared for some reason. Jimin looked at the item in his hand and it seemed like a cute bottle with two small plastic tops that resembled cat ears and along with the design on the side it looked really adorable. And then he noticed it had a tip with small holes in them. It transported him years back when his mom would often ask to fill a similar, though much simpler looking bottle with warm water to give to Jihyung who was getting antsy in his play pen.
- Hyung, is this a sippy cup? Are you babysitting one of the staff's kids again? - Jimin giggled and was about to offer the cup for Yoongi to take when he noticed the elder's face.
He looked distraught. He was hugging himself, avoiding looking at Jimin and his eyes looked glassy like he was tearing up. That alarmed the younger instantly. He swiftly got up and was on his knees next to his hyung in seconds.
- What's wrong, chubs? Has something happened?
Years of knowing Yoongi have taught him many things. Yet still he felt helpless while communicating with him sometimes. Jimin was determined to keep trying. The way Yoongi was eyeing the cup was pretty weird so Jimin set it aside and gently took the elder's fingers in his hand.
- Have I upset you? I shouldn't have touched this, right? I won't anymore, okay? Just tell me how I can help.
This was pretty recent, the thing they had. But it was long time coming. They orbited around each other for years and finally became closer not so long ago. Jimin had a lot of patience and he simply waited until Yoongi was ready to speak.
- It's mine, - was all he said at first.
- Yours? It's really cute. Was it a gift?
- Sort of. But I picked it out of many. For myself, - he emphasized.
It seemed like what he was talking about was grand and Jimin didn't understand. Some sort of touchy subject? Hurtful memories? Talking to Yoongi would be like walking through the darkness at times. Yet Jimin wasn't about to give up.
- You made a good choice. It's really nice to the touch. I'm sorry I picked it up like that.
- No, it's fine. - Yoongi turned to Jimin and pulled him up to sit next to him, - It's one of my favourites.
Jimin nodded. He was holding both of Yoongi's hands and running the pad of his finger over the knuckles, letting him know he was listening.
- Sometimes I get really anxious. And you know I try various techniques still? This is my personal one. I go to this place, this state of mind where my current situation doesn't matter. Involuntarily mostly. And I feel like I'm this carefree kid again.
- Oh-h, - Jimin exhaled softly. - That's why the sippy cup?
- Yeah. I got some other things too. Some clothes and books. I'm not losing it, Jimin-ah, it's actually a thing. - he whispered desperately.
And that's when Yoongi's tears finally fell. He looked like he wanted to bolt outside and make a run for it so Jimin quickly asked if he could hug him. Yoongi nodded and Jimin tipped his tense frame onto his shoulder.
- Of course you're not losing it. And if drinking from this makes you feel better, who cares, right?
Yoongi shook his head, hiding his face in Jimin's hoodie. Jimin carded his fingers through Yoongi's long locks and then suddenly he got an idea.
- Hyung, I have some juice with me. If you want, I could pour some in your kitty cup?
Jimin decided to avoid the name for now, afraid it would upset his hyung. Though he had a hunch that this was far more complex than just a name.
- It doesn't work just like that, Jiminie.
- Okay. But it might feel good either way? If you want.
Yoongi nodded, barely noticeable and Jimin did as he suggested, offering the half filled cup to him. He held his hyung in half hug as Yoongi sipped, visibly calming down. Jimin was confused and had a ton of questions but he held back because making Yoongi feel better was his main priority now.
- The food is getting cold. And you must be tired. How about I feed you a little bit?
Yoongi withdrew a hand that was covering his eyes and looked over the younger. He didn't know what he expected, maybe laughing or joking, but there was none of that. Jimin looked calm and serious. So he reluctantly agreed.
At first the elder kept quiet so Jimin filled the silence with commenting on food and whatever else like he usually did. Gradually Yoongi came back to himself and started responding. He finished his drink and attempted to hide the cup but Jimin noticed and asked to put his pretty cup on the table, showing there was nothing odd about it. Because there wasn't.
By the time they were almost done and Yoongi's back was slumped against Jimin's chest, the younger picked up the thin blanket right behind him and covered them up, not quite ready to part with Yoongi just yet. He already checked their schedules and they were clear for the rest of the day, with some late requests for Jimin to cancel his lessons.
Yoongi opened up some articles on the phone and Jimin was reading through them, through many blog posts, through forum threads as he was brushing his hyung's hair with his fingers. Yoongi's head rested on Jimin's lap and Yoongi looked up pictures from the younger's phone showing him the things he liked shyly.
Jimin made sure to say something about each of them.
"This looks so cute"
"That would suit you a lot, hyung"
"I would like this for myself, what do you think?"
He did his best to show the elder he wasn't weirded out about it. Simply curious. That he was willing to learn about the little space mindset to the best of his abilities.
After he took Yoongi home he went through everything Yoongi showed him again. An array of pastel coloured, cozy pictures warmed his heart. He saw the thread with forum members showing off their recent purchases, adults proudly showcasing things they loved, they enjoyed. He genuinely cried a little when he recalled how upset and worried his hyung was. Jimin wanted to show him his support even though he was very new to this side of his favourite person.
After some searching and paying extra for an urgent delivery Jimin found himself sneaking outside Yoongi's flat to pick up a package from the concierge. He set it on the bedside cabinet before falling asleep, mind bursting with newly discovered information.
Their morning went pretty regular, with Yoongi waking up first. Jimin trudged into the kitchen, lured out of bed by the tempting smell of coffee. His heart ached and worried as he carried a package that he checked out last night. He was hoping Yoongi wouldn't get mad when he sees the present.
The smile on the elder's face was one of those shy ones. He secretly loved presents. But nothing compared to Yoongi's expression when he unwrapped a beige jumpsuit with a kitty design on it.
- Something to match your pretty cup, if you will accept this from me, - Jimin said and froze, waiting for Yoongi's reaction.
It was instantaneous. After he stood from the table leaving the jumpsuit where it was unwrapped, he weaved his arms around Jimin's neck, kissing him gently.
- I love it, love it so much, - and he nuzzled into his shoulder.
They stood like that for a while, swinging from side to side, and when Yoongi lifted his face from where it was hiding in the younger's neck he had a dazzling smile on his lips.
- Want me to try it on right now?
~end
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