#but if im feminine that means that im going to have to deal with people like my family going out of their way to address me incorrectly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hainfulcupid · 17 days

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Obsessed with this motherfucker so im gonna drop a few random headcanons about him

ALL ARE SFW AND JUST SILLY STUFF ☝️ im not used to sharing my headcanons publicly like this hyuck hyuck

there’s very little to go off of from this media since all we really have is a pilot with bare , and i MEAN BARE lore to go off of so a lot of this is really me filling in blanks becus im Insane .

> Nordic bunny’s planet has a robotic look to it, i think that he built it himself out of complete boredom along with its inhabitants (that he probably destroys too, out of boredom….)

> I like to think that his guitar strings function like cat whiskers, they aid him in vision and processing the world around him. They’ve definitely busted a few times during battle, causing him to be disoriented for a bit.

> Hates things that are vaguely shaped like snakes (do NOT BRING A CUCUMBER NEAR THIS MAN)

> purrs….meows…does all those silly cat sounds but they’ve got an electric guitar sound effect

> has retractable claws, they do wonders for a man needs a quick escape route !!!!

> related to the thing above, oh he so absolutely adores scratching things up . has the biggest scratching post ever .

> He’s lonely, not like he intends to be but his personality is offputting to many, one of those people who you have a hard time reading into the things they say because every word that comes out of his mouth always sounds insulting. naturally judgmental, thinks he has a keen eye for fashion despite wearing only undies.

> what is his deal with the undies anyways ? i think he has sensory issues so he wears very minimal clothing thinking he’s serving absolute cunt but no ones ever told him how dorky he looked, and if any of his minions did well…..lets just say They’re no longer with us.

> definitely has a weird way of giving gifts…you know how cats bring you things they’ve hunted? well he’s no different, he wants THAT praise he wants you to tell him how competent he is.

> his tail is an indicator of his mood, follows the same rules of a cat .

LOOK AT HIM. TELL ME THIS ISNT TRUE.

> claims he can’t fucking stand emotional music, but listens to sad 80s rock . but no one will see that, they’ll see him as the dude who’s constantly blasting oldies metal classics .

> I AM A NORDIC BUNNY FANG HAVER TRUTHER . I JUST KNOW HED HAVE A TONGUE PIERCING TOO .

> he’s so reluctant to touch, he never knows if he fully enjoys it or not, you’ll be petting down his back and feel his back quiver almost like it’s trying to avoid your touch but he’s also - purring…he’s a confusing little guy…

> If he ever does manage to form something vaguely friendship like, he’d suck ass at managing the connection, oh you invite him to a party ? he sends you an image of himself stuck in the toilet with a text underneath saying “SOZZ . CANT GO. TOILET TROUBLEZ”

> that being said , not having a lot of experiences with relationships, he’d have an avoidant attachment style, he’d also. subconsciously be as unlikable as possible, he has no clue what defines being cool and likable he’s a little clung onto “be as cool and mysterious as possible”

> says “mrr?” instead of “hm?”

> Oh. in my mind he uses he/she pronouns . finds comfort in expressing femininity .

> I can’t see this guy having a preference for dating… he will take anyone who can break through the massive thick wall he puts up.

THATS ALL FOR NOW UHHH UHHHH

#nordicbunny #nordic bunny #shredforce #shred force #headcanons #i am cringe and i am free #GUH #beetlereetles

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mikaela-the-slut-expert · 22 days

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yayyyy 💕 then can i ask for a scenario in which the reader, who’s a trans guy, volunteering to be the bride in the ghost groom scenario and threatening to stab anyone who says anything about him looking like a girl with platonic feng xin + mu qing and romantic hualian? (or just xie lian, since technically hua cheng is only there for like, .5 seconds lol)

(💥 anon)

Masculine Bride?

HuaLian x ftm(?)reader

IM SO SORRY 😔 I'VE HAD THE WORST FEW MONTHS OF MY LIFE BUT I LIVE I WILL BE COMPLETING REQUESTS AGAIN THANKS FOR NOT GIVING UP ON ME AGAIN GUYS ☺️🖤

____________________________________

☀️Feng Xin didn't want to be in this ridiculous mission at all. He has to deal with Mu Qing in disguise and he has to see Xie Lian who was once his best friend. So it feels a little awkward to him but he gets to see you too! So he's quite happy to see you and Xie Lian again

☀️When he finds out that the plan is to disguise as a bride he immediately says Nuh uh. No way he's doing that, Mu Qing would never live it down.

☀️But when you offer to disguise as the bride, since you do looke somewhat androgynous he's like great!

☀️He doesn't have to do it and he can protect you if you all get in harms way

☀️Honestly he's surprised you volunteered so quickly. Feng Xin knows you'd rather stay in your male form and he knows you don't like appearing feminine much these days. Gods do it all the time so Feng Xin doesn't mind. Have you seen Shi Qingxuan?

☀️So everything was going great, they got you dressed and the one village girl did your makeup so you didn't look like a clown. But then they ran into those annoying men again.

☀️ They were congratulating Xie Lian, Mu Qing, and Feng Xin for finding a pretty bride and even wanted to join up, but they all knew the men just wanted to eat off their success.

☀️So when you laughed and explained you did make a good bride even though you're a man, No one really laughed. The men had genuinely thought you were a woman sooo they try to call your bluff.

☀️You did in fact change forms to look more like a bride but it doesn't feel good to have every single feminine feature to be pointed out. You're used to it so you weren't going to say anything but the group of men freeze and their skin pales when you hear a crack behind you

☀️Feng Xin may or may not have broken a pillar. May or may not have damaged his own temple. . .

☀️it succeeds in shutting the men up because what man is able to just break a God's pillar?!

☀️Feng Xin has to admit he's pretty irritable, but hearing the group of men bully you just pisses him off. He knows he's supposed to be in disguise and not gain your attention but he can't stand by and watch you be passive about it.

☀️ When the men practically evacuate the area you only laugh softly and link arms with him saying, "I found my guard!" You already know it's Feng Xin🙄

🌕Mu Qing was also your best friend and you never really gave him the chance to distance himself from you like he distanced himself from Xie Lian.

🌕Mu Qing has been with you a long time and he knows you're more comfortable identifying as a man. He has no issue with it. It took some time getting used to but he doesn't care as long as you're happy.

🌕so hearing the group of men start pointing you out so blatantly ticks him off. He knows he can't harm mortals but he sure wishes he could.

🌕It's not against the rules to threaten them though, so when he threatened to cut off their hand because it's rude to point isn't against the rules either.

🌕You were surprised honestly, Mu Qing doesn't care about a lot of things and doesn't usually get violent unless it's with Feng Xin.

🌕but you laugh when the group of men run off and you lean on Mu Qing. Saying you're so happy to have your own personal protector

🪷Xie Lian doesn't really fight. It's not that he can't he just doesn't see a point to do so.

🪷but that doesn't mean he'll let people bully you either

🪷 You've stuck with him for awhile so you're used to just taking mean words in stride. Xie Lian has never let them get away with it though.

🪷So it comes as a Surprise to you all when Xie Lian uses rou'ye to tie the group of men up together and he "advised them to go away before something unfortunate happens"

🪷You smiles and kiss his cheek, linking arms with him with a smile.

🪷"You're cute when you're protective"

#tgcf #tgcf headcanon #tgcf xie lian #xie lian x reader #tgcf feng xin #tgcf mu qing #tgcf feng xin x reader #tgcf mu qing x reader #trans reader #ftm #mxtx tgcf

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astroyongie · 9 months

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can you do the what does your bias says about you with seventeen , im sorry if im bothering you

What Does your Seventeen Bias Says About You

Scoups

his fans are usually very feminine, and very pretty, they are just little candies on legs, walking around and being adorable with the world around them. people that like him are also very intuitive and they are purely attracted to scoups energy

in another way, they are also very co-dependant on their environment, and they love scoups because he gives feelings of being reliable, and they need to be and feel protected by someone. they have a lot of inner feelings they don't express

Wonwoo

okay so people who bias him are either people who have great daddy issues, like absent fathers or just dads that weren't very present or mean and they see on Wonwoo a fatherly figure, a partner that they would want unconsciously for their offspring. the other type is the contrary, people who have excellent fathers figures and see Wonwoo as a representative of what their father is and what they want in someone

these people are very perfectionists, they like to make things their way, and everything stressed them out but the wort is that they are also always bored and easily fall into the path of procrastination which is a paradox for them

they might deny it, but hey, you are very very good at manipulating people and you find that a common trait with Wonwoo. it's easy for you to manipulate your environment in order to make things easier for you to go through

these people are also quite jealous by nature, they have mood swings and some difficulties on dealing with their emotions and they are certified delulus as well, always living up in their heads

Vernon

his fans are very intuitive as well and they just click with vernon's energy, usually, they don't have reasons why they like him, they just do. they are also the type of people to represses a lot fo their inner feelings because they don't want people to know how they feel and it's a way they connect with Vernon

they are trouble being sociable, and they are mostly introverted people who withdraw a lot of the world and use Vernon as an anchor to go through the day. they hate conflicts and they retreat whenever things get too hard for them

Mingyu

okay his fans are very chaotic, exactly like him and they are mostly mirrors. people who love him are very impulsive and they do things without thinking twice, they can be ruthless with others or when it comes to protecting mingyu. they also have high expectations for him and for themselves, they want to be important and not just somebody

they are adventuring people, they want to work or to study overseas, they want to travel around and be fully independent and live a life similar to Mingyu's. whenever they get opportunities, they know how to take them

Hoshi

his fans are very detached people, they deal with a lot of crap emotionally, and they find Hoshi comforting because they share the same energy. some of his fans can be attracted to the occult or at least on everything that deals with a dark self perceptive

most of you are also very smart, very curious, make good studies, and have good grades in general. You know how to communicate with others and share your own truth and stories. like Hoshi, you know how to make people see new perceptive

also, most of you are just pessimists by nature, for your life is shit and everything that happens to you is shit. most live in regrets of things they have done in the past as well

THE8

you guys are rather simple people that don't want their heads to be overcomplicated, and you like Minghao for that because his energy is calm enough to put you at ease. always sin your life you have to deal with things that never go according as planned and yet you also have a hard time letting goof of things

Jun

you too are simple people and love Jun for his ability to make you feel at home. a lot fo you are independent people,w tih your own life fixed or at least already planning how to make it. some work very hard too and are trying to consolidate your working life and your family life that haven't always been easy

Dino

okay, so it seems like most of you grab unto Dino because his energy is the only think that makes you happy. most of you suffer a lot from depression, anxiety, stress, fear and other mental illnesses that have taken your life for a great part of it

also most of you have suffered important losses in your life, and Dino's clam and young energy is also a way of coping with it. most of you have had heartbreaks

Woozi

For some reason some of you are extremely moody and have to deal a lot with mood swings and woozi is also like an anchor of that moodiness and self-indulgence that you are trying to learn

some of you are huge emotional manipulators, probably a trait learn, and shared with Woozi. but despite that you are also very compassionate of others, and sometimes using that skill is needed in order to help others or to protect them

Jeonghan

I don't understand much, but it seems you guys related to Jeonghan on his idol image and mostly you are very attracted to him because in your own life, you aim endlessly and aimlessly drift away from things, like a feather in the sky, you have no control over life and just hide in your love for him and other idols

most of you are unable to take action, to make decisions and are just too emotional immature and thus see Jeonghan as something you want to rescue you from your own misery

Joshua

You guys are usually happy with your life and you just love the warmth this man is able to bring you, despite that jovial side of yourself, you are also very materialistic in your life, very goal driven, and more rational than intuitive. because of that you are always dissatisfied with your situation, you seek improving your life and give it the best you can

You are too much and the love you have for DK isn't a joke and it's kinda beautiful to see. As characteristics, you are someone who over-invested in things, in people, in dreams and you often have to question your self-worth or you always get disappointed in how things turn out, but you also try to be positive about it, just like DK

most of you also still live in your past and are unable to let go of things that have happened to you years ago, mostly because those events made you the person you are today and you are scared to let that go and becoming nothing without it

Seungkwan

you share some of his personality in a way, you guys are also perfectionists in your life and you always try to self-improve in your life and try to be better at the talents you already possess

On a more deep level, most of you also have deep wounds, deep betrayals and deep emotions that you still are working on and rely a lot on seungkwan as a strength to help you go throught things

#Seventeen #Seventeen astrology #Seventeen headcanons #Seventeen imagines #Seventeen scenarios #Seventeen reactions

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liquidstar · 6 months

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I'm an anime only but i'm curious how is ferris relationship with gender?

im going to answer kinda quickly (and w/o spoilers) bc im abt to have dinner but the basic gist of it is:

crusch and ferris swapped gender presentations as part of a pact, something that goes back to their respective backstories. (might be harder to tell that crusch is intended to lean more masc, but its in like that knightly bishounen kinda way so it can come off more androgynous than anything). ferris takes the deal a lot more seriously than crusch does (partly bc of devotion, partly because of love) and even still "plays the part" when the pact no longer requires it after crusch got her memories eaten (and was acting more girlish). ferris wakes up every morning repeating the mantra of being a "cute girl" as an affirmation- saying that "this has been the mantra for a long time" believing whole-heatedly that there's magic in this sort of believing, and thats why they just somehow havent developed secondary sex characteristics (and they thank their ancestors for the lack of beard hair- i think it must be somekinda undiscovered divine protection of hrt). though they have a bit of a complex about the idea of this girlhood being "borrowed" because of the swap, and sort of have a higher sense of pressure to confirm as strictly to femininity because of this- because its for crusch. but dont necessarily mistake this for ferris disliking the pact itself, the pressure is something more internal. crusch never held herself to the same degree of devotion to it, wearing casual dresses while inside the house and such, while ferris has committed every fiber of their being to it. this has been the mantra for a long time. and there are genuine insecurities to be found within this- at a certain point a villain representing lust accuses ferris of dressing this way to "lead on" men, something that we as the audience know isnt true (ferris still loves crusch), but never the less messes with their head and in a way i think its meant to be a commentary on the general preconceptions audiences have when it comes to characters like ferris- rezero is a deconstruction series after all so stuff like that is to be expected.

all that being said do i think ferris is the most well done amazing rep in the whole universe? not really. i mean im not transfem so im not the authority on this topic, but im echoing stuff ive generally seen discussed- i think ferris is kind of an example of a character that suffers a bit from the creator not reeeaaallly knowing how trans people work or not realizing hes effectively written a trans person because of this. i defaulted to they/them to ferris here because it is kinda complicated and can be taken a few different ways. how much of it is for crusch vs how much is for ferris? how much of an identity does ferris have outside of crusch? outside of being crusch's "girl side" etc. this theme is something we see with ALL the knights! they all have a blinding and often self-destructive devotion to their liege. and a lot of these are heavily reliant on gender roles in a lot of ways (subaru projects his masc powerfantasy onto emilia, julius has to constantly be the Perfect Knight for anastasia, reinhard can only ever be a Hero and stakes his family's redemption on felt becoming king, al lets priscilla just behead him 100 times bc hes a freak.) in the case of crusch and ferris the entire concept is that these roles have been somewhat swapped, but the devotion stayed the same so. theres a lot there. a lot thats a lot more complicated than just like.... "boy dresses like a girl bc its my fetish" eugh

#and btw none of this is to also say that you cant just be a guy who wears dresses bc you like it either #ive heard ppl argue that and its like. theres more there in this case #look on paper i would very much like to be masc but in reality i dont have the body type and i like to dress feminine so ill also never loo #like the part. and i think ive made peace with that for now. for now. but what im saying is its not the dress or appearance itself ever #i think there are plenty of anime boys that wear dresses and are in fact still boys. such as yuki a3 or kuranosuke princess jellyfish #love those guys #i also think there are often characters that have more nuance often bc of meta reasons and ferris is one of them. imo

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comfortabletogether · 23 days

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HIIIIIIIII !!! UR NIKEI WRITING GOT ME LICKING MY THUMBS, FINISHING MY PLATE 😋😋😋

Is it possible to request a s/o like Haruhi Fujioka? Not exactly dating, but when they like first met? If you’ve never seen Ouran, Haruhi is a girl who’s perceived as masculine to most people, leading to gender assumptions. In reality she doesn’t really care (Gn!S/O, maybe?), but I’d love to see the reactions of characters if they were to find out about their gender !!!

Specifically I’d like to request Nikei, but you can feel free to add whoever u think would be interesting as well !!! Hope you have a wonderful day !!!

IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY WRITING SO MUCH!! It means a lot to me!! I was originally going to write a fic for this but I hate writing on my phone. And I added Emma and Yuri to this prompt.

I’m so sorry this request is so old. Like stuff just got in the way I’m so sorry. And I know person who requested that Phineas and Ferb hc, it’s taking forever but like, I’m struggling.

WARNING: SPOILERS

~ Mod Haruhiko ✈️

Nikei Yomiuri

🖋️ He met you while grumbling about Mikado, scribbling down notes about how he would only tell Void the bare minimum about the other participants. Hell, he won’t share about one participant more than their face.

🖋️ But then comes in you, a slightly feminine looking guy. And Nikei pulls back up his bubbly persona immediately wanting for an interview to try and understand you since he hasn’t learned anything from Mikado.

🖋️ Nikei actually enjoyed your company when you were having your small introductory conversation. And before breakfast he’d seek out your company to find you so the two of you could sit together.

🖋️ Nikei learned that you weren’t actually a guy by when the two of you were hanging out you told him that you had to use the restroom and walked into the girls restroom. Which he was going to make a sly comment about when you came back but then he realized that only girls could go in the girls bathroom.

🖋️ Which leaves you with a very surprised Nikei to deal with. And being a journalist he asks a lot of questions.

Emma Magorobi

🎬 Emma enjoyed your presence from the start, you were the only one to immediately treat her like an equal, like a classmate. And you seemed to understand her being sick of being so famous in a way.

🎬 When everyone decided to go swimming, she ended up appreciating you more when instead of going in like everyone else, you had decided to go and get to know Emma further. You didn’t even question why she didn’t go in.

🎬 Emma loved your company more when she noticed that you’d laugh or smile at almost every single one of her jokes, even if you told her they were awful. She just found your smile endearing.

🎬 In her mind, she never questioned your gender until on the second island, she offered to go and dress up. Emma walked in on the middle of you changing and was shocked to figure it out.

🎬 But alongside of her shock, she didn’t mind at the same time. You were still the same person after all.

Yuri Kagarin

🌌 He is hurling insults at you when you first met. As he immediately assumes that you are a male. And he didn’t exactly want to hear anything else from it. He didn’t want anything to do with men, especially not make casual conversation with them.

🌌 You were at least a little interesting in who he was. Since he did talk about the fact he has been kidnapped before and you wanted to make sure that he was doing alright mentally.

🌌 Since Yuri would absolutely refuse to acknowledge you, you’d definitely have to tell someone like Sora or someone who already knew like Kokoro, if you want to talk. And when you do, he at leas tried to hear you out before he was shocked at the revelation of you being female and identifying with female vocabulary.

🌌 Before he could properly believe you, he did make you go into one of the bathrooms. Which you did oblige to. And after you proved it, Yuri went crazy apologizing in at least several different languages and swearing at himself in Russian.

🌌 Yuri will stay by you and praise you endlessly like the other girls.

#mod haruhiko ✈️#sdra2 #super danganronpa another 2 #danganronpa another #dra #sdra2 x reader #dra x reader #emma magorobi #emma magorobi x reader #nikei yomiuri #nikei yomiuri x reader #yuri kagarin #yuri kagarin x reader

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mentallystable982 · 1 month

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I don't know. I'm strugglin to keep goin n all-- I feel like stuff would just be easier if I didn't have this identity at all and I don't know if transitioning would ever be worth it. I understand how much being comfortable should help but the risk is so high and the shit I'm already getting is only going to get worse--- I'm barely even out, I just get shit for being a feminine "guy" on it's own- The people I have come out to seem to have forgotten or don't care, and the ones who do are counties or continents away.

I feel really alone. being around other trans people helps and me bein on tumblr recently is part of that-- but even then I just cant shake this feeling that the majority of everyone will never believe or understand me just existing-- I don't even know if I want this enough, I can handle feeling a bit envious or uncomfortable I guess- especially when the alternative means getting shoved outta jobs, social circles, and always just being off and weird and embarrassing I just don't know or understand what I'm doing and where I am rn in life there are just so many other things that are more important and it's all getting in the way of eachother--- I just don't know what to do. Coming out is a whole new thing too--- Especially with my parents, I have a sister who came out as trans last year and shit has just been awful with everythin to do with her and I just don't wanna lose the relationships I have with my parents and siblings like she did. The awkwardness and weirdness and the way you can see nobody else sees it in her-- I just can't deal with that. I don't wanna be a disappointment or an embarrassment and I know I will be to them. I really really love my parents and this might be character assassination but I just know how they get with all this stuff. I feel like I'm behind or an outcast or failure in like everything and people are assuring me that I'm doing well and I don't feel it at all. I'm just scared and I don't know what to do. I'm sorry I vented so much here, I really really didn't mean to.. please don't respond to this unless you really really want to- I just wanted to get this out somewhere-- thank you so much for offering this holyshit

Ok well I am responding cos I do rly rly want to and ur amazing <333

And don’t be sry at allll it’s what the blog is for girly 😊

I mean u dont have to know ur gender or anything at all now I mean there’s still lots of time, and feelings change and that’s fine but if like u’ve felt a way for like a while then it’s prob true, and u prob shouldn’t js bury it cos u could ‘deal with it’ cos then it could grow and js get worse and Yh. I rly get like pple not caring or rly believing u :( cos ‘u haven’t acted this way before’ that’s what I was told atleast. It’s horrible Ik but I mean if they act that easy they probably aren’t amazing pple anyway.

And ofc darling there is absolutely no pressure to know where u r in life like I defo don’t and maybe taking things one step at a time might help? Like starting with the things most important to u.

And I mean also in the wise words of aled last u don’t owe it to pple to come out to them, and if ur parents rly love you the worse that might happen is they don’t believe u at first but u can prove it to them if ur certain like that’s how u feel when u transition

And I mean Yh I defo know what being scared and not knowing what to do feels like hehe, js I think try and find the things that make u happy and focus on doing those things more than the things that ur a ‘failure’ in which im sure isn’t true cos ur amazing, and ik this’ll be js another reassurance u won’t believe but I do so, ur not an outcast here ur accepted and loved and like there r so many pple who would support u no matter how u feel abt urslef or gender (me included obvi :) )

Anywya sry if this didn’t rly help but um Yh I rly hope it did and rly sry if like u didn’t even want this reply at all and dww it didn’t like annoy me at all I’m glad u could get it out :)) <333

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transgressivegirlification · 3 months

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sorta. learning how to separate my gender from how other people perceive and treat me. that and separating my gender identity from gender performance and the idea that i have to DO anything or have any specific trait to be a woman

i dunno. if gender describes your relationship to society and your relationship to your body and sex characteristics, then there is an expectation to perform specific roles based on your relationship to your body, which is pretty wierd and we could probably do without that. so, i guess in that sense, im a gender abolitionist

i don’t consider myself a woman because i was assigned female at birth, i consider myself a woman because it describes my relationship to my body. i don’t consider my (de)transition a return because i don’t remember what it was like to live as someone who was perceived as a girl and i’ve never been perceived as a woman, just a feminine trans person (and only online, offline i’m treated as an autistic cis man) so i’m having to figure out what my womanhood means to me for the first time instead of having it just given to me or something i had at some nebulous ~before~

but it’s. i don’t think being a woman means you have to be feminine in any meaning of the word. i don’t think i have to be seen as a woman to be one. i don’t even think i have to dislike masculine terms being used for me. i also don’t think that not conforming to the expected presentations of my gender makes me nonbinary. (nb people are chill i am just tired of being degendered in trans* spaces and having people making a big deal over my gender/pronouns because i don’t “look like” my gender)

i’m just a woman with a deep voice and body hair and broad shoulders and facial hair and an adam’s apple and a strong brow. i’m just a woman that wears clothing made for men and who wears binders instead of bras most of the time. i’m just a woman who wears makeup only once or twice a year and who doesn’t do anything centered around anti-aging. none of that makes me less of a woman, it just makes me less feminine which is fine

femininity is nice but a lot of it is either based on making women more consumable to men or just isn’t ideal for a construction worker. like. i love lolita fashion but it is not remotely osha approved. i can barely get away with tying my jacket around my waist lmafo

and i mean. i like men. 90% of my coworkers are men and i generally fuck with them. i’m also promised to a man who is my priority in life.

but at the same time, i’m not going to go out of my way to be appealing to men or even think about it in my day to day life because i’m a person who enjoys men, not a perfume ad. yeah i dress up for dates and enjoy when my promised finds me attractive but being desirable isn’t the same as being consumable. when i perform femininity for my promised, he enjoys the show but sees me as an actor instead of a character if that makes sense?

i dunno. i love being feminine in over the top ways that make me feel powerful and confident but it’s… a lot to do outside of the context of conventions (shout out to conventions for giving me a way to explore new presentations in public without being afraid of getting hate crimed fr)

i guess for me it feels wierd to be a woman almost exclusively attracted to men because so much of how people talk about wlm is centered around the man’s attraction to the woman or the woman making herself attractive to the man when i center myself in my attraction to men. i generally don’t think about making myself attractive to a man i’m not actively going on a date with, i think about what i want to do to him and what he could do for me. yeah it’s a little selfish but nobody’s complained yet B;)

tl;dr: i’m still a woman when i fulfill male stereotypes. femininity as a way to feel powerful, pretty, and/or desirable is nice. femininity as a set of rules pushed on women for the purpose of centering men’s consumption and dehumanization of women in their expression of feminine womanhood is shitty

#pro trans detrans #gender ramblings #diva speaks

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onyx-wyvern · 1 year

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There’s a lot of those “how to write [x] character if you’re not from [x] community” posts out there but this one is one I only realised like 2 minutes ago so here we go lmao

I already see barely any trans characters in writing BUT one of the biggest parts of trans culture is the concept of dysphoria and how it affects people and how they relieve it. Trans rep in character design can be very obvious or very subtle, but it’s almost always defined by how dysphoria is dealt with across different individuals: top surgery scars, breast implants, cut/grown out hair, baggy clothes, etc. etc. the list goes on.

But I think a key to writing these characters well isn’t asking “how does this character deal with [x] dysphoria?” but instead asking “how does this character create [x] *euphoria* for themself?” I’m transmasc nonbinary, so my examples will relate to my own experience.

Instead of “dealing” with the size of my chest by just putting on a sports bra and wearing a sweatshirt, which wears me out and only worsens the feelings im having by turning it into a chore, I create euphoria for myself by committing to more. Instead of just dealing and making it something to appeal to outside eyes, I think “fuck it, go flat or go home” and bring out every too-small bra and a pair of leggings. I /will/ have a flat chest- not I want to /look/ like i have a flat chest.

I don’t tie my hair back to make it /look/ short, I cut it and style it to make it /be/ short.

Creating euphoria isn’t the same as just dealing with dysphoria, in the same way being isn’t the same as appearing to be.

Obviously for some kinds of dysphoria, it can take longer, be turned into euphoria only by one process, or, unfortunately, cannot be dealt with really at all in a physical way. One thing I can’t really deal with, euphoria or no, is my hands- they’re smooth, soft, and by all means incredibly small and feminine. The easy thing to do is of course to just wear a long-sleeved hoodie and keep the sleeves over my hands, and often times I do.

But sometimes euphoria doesn’t have to be physical, it can also be looking to the future at things that could be done later on; testosterone hormone therapy, or T, redistributes fat deposits and promotes muscle growth— both of which contribute to soft, feminine hands becoming thinner and more masculine. When I see my hands and think “man, this sucks, I can’t do anything about this” I deal with the dysphoria by rolling my sleeves over my wrists—but I induce euphoria by remembering what can be done in the future.

This is just my own experience with dysphoria as a transmasculine person- a transfem person might have wildly different experiences, as would an androgynous enby, and even other transmasc people. I’m only speaking from my own thoughts and feelings on the subject, but I do know that the thought process of “I am creating euphoria, not discouraging dysphoria” is a mindset that’s much more positive and realistic.

And if you yourself are trans and reading this, I want you to reflect on how you deal with dysphoria, specifically on whether you’re dealing with it by dealing with it, or dealing with it by countering it with euphoria instead.

You are your own person, and if you aren’t happy with that then be what you want to be- don’t just /seem/ to be what you want to be. This goes beyond being trans, of course, but when it comes to something as seemingly unshakable and dauntingly overwhelming as trans dysphoria, it can be a uniquely— and often horribly— lonely experience.

There’s days where I can’t put in the effort to give myself euphoria, and that sucks. It really really sucks. But whenever I can, that little spark of joy, that little spark of hope, makes it just a little more bearable each time.

If you made it to the end of this unedited wall of text, holy shit thank you. But also, remember to give yourself a little bit of euphoria every once in a while. Show dysphoria that this is your body, not its. And, especially if you’re pre-everything, remember that if you can’t do something today, the future can always have other plans for you.

#trans #transgender #transmasc #ftm #transfem #mtf #nonbinary #dysphoria #euphoria #trans euphoria #long post

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booksandpaperss · 8 months

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some ramble-y thoughts on men's social isolation and women's safety bc this has been on my mind for a bit

I do think it's really sad how men end up feeling so isolated bc of various social expectations as well as people being cruel, but as a fem presenting person I have to say that you can't just expect women and anyone who is fem presenting to just "start being nicer". ive seen a few posts on Tumblr essentially stating that but I have to reiterate it is about safety. I literally cannot afford to stop looking at men with caution and assumed violence until I get to know them really well bc if I stop that could genuinely cost me me life. its true that most men I see probably are not predators and im sure it hurts to be perceived that way, but I have no way of being able to tell who is and isn't going to harm me. I have to assume the worst because it is the only way I can stay safe.

it sucks, it really does, for all parties involved. I have so much sympathy for the men who are genuinely kind and would never hurt me that feel isolated, it isn't fair, and I myself certainly don't enjoy the *necessary* fear that the random guy im passing on the street could see me and decide to hurt me, but this is the reality of the world. there is no easy solution, but what certainly isn't a solution is expecting women to start being kinder to men they dont know because once again: that could genuinely cost someone their life.

The best solution right now I think is to continue to try to deconstruct misogyny and gender roles, and that takes time, patience, and understanding.

I have also seen the notion on here that men feeling isolated socially is misandry, but the reality is that misandry is simply not real on a systemic scale. men feeling isolated is a direct result of the patriarchy and a side affect of misogyny. a lot of things on this website that are perceived as misandry are either not real problems or they are but they're just the impacts of misogyny and the gender roles that come with it.

But it is very surreal to be walking alone at night, clutching my pepper spray and glaring whenever a man I don't know is near me, making sure to stay next to the street and make it obvious I know exactly where I'm going and still feeling the fear that it might not be enough and something horrible could happen to me anyway, only come back to Tumblr and see people saying misandry is just as prevalent as misogyny and women need to start considering how it feels for men to be looked at like they're predators. Touch grass seems like an applicable statement here.

oh and obligatory piss on the poor tumblr disclaimer: I know I am using binary terms so before any of you get on your high horse about it, I myself am non binary. I am not actually a woman, but I certainly look like one and therefore deal with misogyny. I fully understand that trans men and genderqueers of all kinds as well as even feminine cis men also fear for their life on the street so dont even think abt getting on my ass about that. oh and if any of you try to call this a terf post consider yourself blocked with a recommendation to get a refresh on what terf actually means instead of just throwing around the term when you see any post trying to talk about misogyny :D

final disclaimer bc I wanna cover all my bases due to Tumblr reading comprehension: im aware topics like this are very nuanced with lots of layers, please dont act like im obligated to cover all that in a random Tumblr post of all things, I cannot possibly cover everything nor am I obligated to. I simply wanted to remind ppl that actual lives are at risk and fem presenting people constantly and regularly fear for their life bc I feel like that gets left out a lot in conversations like this on here. <3

#elli's random thoughts #women's safety #mens mental health #feminism #no idea what else to tag this so im just gonna throw it into the void #plus I do not want this to end up getting around to actual terf blogs ugh

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ancientgoddessofegypt · 6 months

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Hiiiii

Ik it’s been a long time since previous replies!

I hope ur enjoying your life ✨

I would like to know about 12th house Aries Lilith at 10 degree? What type of appearance do I give off to others cuz I can’t find myself lucky in love or friendship tho I look pretty and would like more info on it in general.

And I wondered whether you are doing full birth chart reading cuz you’re so good in it!

Hope you enjoy your day 🌸✨

Thank you

12th house lilith in aries shows a complex individual with hidden gifts that can make people uncomfortable and even envious of them.

youre pretty much in the know about things you shouldnt. and alot of time could get a lot of insight about others so that it can help them in the future. naturally a 'witch' youre spiritual gifts are quite strong even at a young age. you may of had to push them down due to feeling fear or maybe others didnt understand it so you were shamed for it.

having an aries lilith shows where you are bold with your rawness and this can attract people to you in a mystical sense due to the 12th house being a mystic house and a secretive one at that.

people will adore you but will always try to see whats in that lil head of yours which could possibly be annoying.

it being on the tenth degree..

so im a numerologist and study numbers so how i typically deal with degrees in astro charts is through those lens.

so the number 10 has a lot to do with new beginnings and starting over. 1 - leader, confidence, "leo energy", star of your own show.

0 - divine feminine, the originator, a new beginning , creation.

(now they dont typically use the 0 in numerology, however the 0 is a divine feminine number and deals with the birth of creation so just bre with me for a sec)

so you have the number 10 , so that means new beginnings and creation are a big point here. its something YOU created. nobody else. blueprint.

so with that being said, lilith being on the tenth degree in aries in the 12th house is connecting you to the subconscious/imagination. the 12th house needs an outlet of some sort with the imagination being stimulated with certain imagery thanks to having certain planets (or in this case lilith) it shows that your subconscious can sometimes be on the darker side.

youre mind has a lot of taboo thinking going on and this is usually unique to you. you'll daydream about fantasies you may want to have or people may be the ones doing this.

from what ive noticed lilith 12th housers are always in a sex dream or two in someone elses imagination. or in just a pretty odd dream overall.

as for appearance im assuming your rising is in taurus? if not plz confirm. or maybe the last degree of aries.

either way, we need see the venus sign and what placements are going on with that. as well as your 7th house.

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dirteater69 · 5 months

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i watched wendigoons analysis of no country for old men earlier today and it got me thinking of themes in stories reflected through characters, and i started thinking about the themes of the killjoys fic im currently writing and how they reflect through the characters, so im gonna write some of it down now before i forget. im only on the third chapter and there will be at least ten when im finished, but this is based on what i have written and planned currently so i hope it makes sense. the main themes are pretty vague in my mind, but im thinking it will be along the lines of how real people shape themselves into characters+how real events are mythologized, how ideologies and hopes affect people, heroism and villainy, how committing and experiencing violence changes someone, what normalcy means, clinging onto or rejecting social norms in times where they have kind of lost all meaning.

in this post i will mainly write about how these themes reflect in the characters of jet star and party poison (at least how i write them) and their relationship and thoughts about each other.

party wants to be the hero and shapes themselves into that character: they are the leader of the killjoys, they are very charismatic and a good fighter, later on they become an important figure in zones society in the wake of the analog wars and lead many battles. they end up being seen as a hero by many and their actions in battles and other things about them are talked about around the zones as myths or folktales.

the thing is, deep down, party does not see themself as a hero. they feel that they have something at their core — whether that’s queerness, inability to conform to other social rules, committing violence — that makes them unable to embody the ideal of a hero that they have in their head. they feel that because there is something ‘wrong’ with them, they don’t deserve to get the things they want. this manifests most obviously in the story in their romance with jet, where they think that they can never, or should never, be in a relationship with him because they would taint his (perceived by them) normalcy and moral purity with their wrongness and strangeness; however, this is only part of the fact that they dont believe themself deserving of a good life at all.

they are the first of the killjoys to ever kill someone: it happens when they are all escaping battery city, and party ends up accidentally killing one of the bl/ind guards chasing them down. though this action may have saved all their lives, party still feels immense shame and horror at having done it. the night after, their first night in the zones, they have a nightmare where they are eating the body of the man they killed, and jet appears to kill them in a way reminiscent of putting down a sick animal. at their core, party believes that they are a villain and a danger to the people around them.

of course, in the middle of a horrible war, the zones needs a hero. that is what party shapes themself into: a loud, confident, violent leader of the zonerunners to take down bl/ind once and for all. there’s a sort of split in party’s identity, where on the outside, they are the hero of the zones, but on the inside, they believe themself to be a morally corrupt fraud who is going to ruin everything good and beautiful they touch. combined, this makes for an absolute monster of a martyr complex: if they die for a good cause, then the world will both be better because the thing they’re fighting for (the freedom of the zones, the destruction of bl/ind) has succeeded, and because the evil that they bring into the world simply by existing is gone.

one other thing i want to touch on with party is how they deal with social norms. before beginning life in the zones they knew they were nonbinary but didn’t really have a safe way to express it besides going by they/them around kobra and later, when they met, the other killjoys, but when they enter the zones they begin to present more femininely. in the first chapter, party and ghoul (who is transmasc, and who i have a ton of other thoughts about) have a whole conversation about gender, which might be one of my favorite parts that ive written so far, and it ends with them swapping pieces of the school uniforms they had to wear at the school in battery city, with party wearing ghouls skirt and ghoul wearing their pants. i haven’t written any more in that vein yet, but i want to explore party’s gender more in the fic. they are definitely very open to rejecting gender norms, at least when they have the opportunity, and it’s an extremely joyful experience for them to present the way they want, but it still sort of claws at them. to them, gender nonconformity doesn’t fit with that idea of heroism that they have. when they present more femininely, they almost feel like they’re betraying the people in the zones that believe in them, like they’re ruining the hero.

this is where we get to their perception of jet star. i mentioned earlier how they feel like he’s too good for them to pursue him romantically, but there is so much more to that. to party, jet is the ideal of heroism that they feel they should be; more so, he represents the ideal of american masculinity that they betray when they present femininely. they piece together true and half-true things about him to create a version of him in their mind that they can compare themself to, furthering their idea of themself as a villain. when they decorate the masks and ray guns of all the killjoys, they make jets red, white, and blue. this idolization also ties into the shame that they feel about the violence that they commit. there is of course the nightmare they have of him killing them for having killed the bl/ind guard, but there is also the fact that while they are a very active fighter in the analog wars, jet mainly works in the medical tents. they destroy things, he fixes things. (never mind the fact that the destruction they commit is against bl/ind) this idolized idea of jet eventually ends up clashing with the real him in a scene late in the fic, where they have a whole breakdown at him about how bad of a person they are, including how they’ve ‘ruined’ him by simply being his friend. he doesn’t have a clue what they’re talking about.

but what is actually going through jet stars head throughout all of this? well, while party is eager to show themself as a hero, jet tries to portray himself as the ‘everyman’, the regular person in a world of chaos and absurdity. this is how he’s been coping with the trauma he’s experienced at the hands of bl/ind: he is sent away from his family’s farm in zone 8 to a ‘reformation academy’ in battery city, and ends up staying there for several years before escaping with the other killjoys, but throughout those years he thinks of it as something fleeting and temporary; surely, he’ll get back to zone 8 soon, to return to his normal life. he’s not actually some kind of crazed desert rebel like the rest of the killjoys, he’s just a regular american farm boy who’s been thrust into a strange situation by forces beyond his control, and as soon as he gets the opportunity he’ll return to that life. even when beginning life in the inner zones, surrounded by the stranger aspects of zone culture, this is how he thinks and portrays himself to others — or, at least, tries to. it’s related to how he deals with trauma. while party thinks of the bad things that they’ve been through as yet another thing that makes them wrong and unfit, yet another thing that makes them the villain, they at least acknowledge that it’s happened. jet just tries to suppress those thoughts completely.

however, his entire idea of returning to a normal life in zone 8 falls apart once he sees what’s happened to it. when he travels to zone 8 for the first time in years, it’s entirely under the control of bl/ind, unrecognizable from the wholesome farm society he remembers. his plans for a normal life — and, furthermore, his thoughts of himself as a normal person — begin to fall apart when he sees the place representative of his old life destroyed. party is with him in that scene, and though he has to break through all his layers of emotional repression for it and it makes him almost feel physically sick, he manages to explain some of his issues to them. one of the things they say in response is something that will be very relevant to both their character arcs: “normal isn’t a thing anymore”.

jet is soon embroiled in the chaos of the analog wars along with the other killjoys, but he still clings to some ideas of normalcy. whereas party is an avid fighter, jet stays out of battles until it is absolutely necessary for him to join, instead helping out in the medical tents and administering first aid on the battlefield. though he isn’t explicit about it, he does kind of look down on the zonerunners most active in the fighting, especially the ones that don’t show any shame or remorse about the violence they commit and sometimes even delight in it (cough cough, a certain bomb-building thrill-chasing black-haired city-born adrenaline junkie with no regard for social niceties, mayhaps?).

of course, the main exception for this is party poison, because love makes you ever the hypocrite — and it is love that he feels for them, though he doesn’t realize it, and certainly wouldn’t admit it for the majority of the story. party falls for his front of the normal, well-adjusted american farm boy, and he falls for their charismatic hero persona in turn. while he does help people in his role as a medic, and sees it as far more preferable to shooting peoples brains out with a blaster, bl/ind goons or not, he finds his unwillingness to fight kind of cowardly. this ties into many other things he believes about himself, like shame about not having fought back against bl/ind when they were taking over zone 8 and he still lived there, as well as the idea that he can’t truly be useful to his community. the latter relates heavily to his issues with normalcy and his own identity: he’s spent so much effort on trying to make himself as palatable as possible that he’s almost cheated himself out of an identity, trying to appear normal to the point where he feels like he doesn’t have any real good traits or talents left. party is the opposite of all of this for him. they are loud and unapologetic about who they are (or, who they want people to think they are), they don’t have any qualms about doing what they have to in order to save the world, they are the ideal of a true zonerunner and hero.

circling back to jet, the thing about him is that he is not as normal as he tries to make himself seem. throughout the story, he slowly gets more comfortable showing small, strange parts of himself to the people around him. he seems to have taken party’s words to heart, at least partially: normal isn’t a thing anymore. it’s only small things, he still deals with some heavy repression of trauma and trouble facing a lot of his own feeling and desires, but its a start. he has his own quirks and absurdities, his own traits that make him a unique and fucked up person. i don’t have every part of those developments planned out, but i know that at least some of it will be in relation to gender, like growing his hair out and presenting more femininely in other ways. he would have a lot more inhibitions to let go off before really being able to face his thoughts about his own gender than party would, just due to the environment and pressures he’s been raised with. (a full exploration of jet’s gender would not really fit in this fic just with the story outline I have planned, but i might write a continuation that goes more into detail. my hc for jet’s gender in the music video era is a he/she transfem, though this fic takes place many years before that and jet still thinks of herself as a cis guy for most of it.) the point being, jet is not actually the one of the killjoys who is the most normal; he is just the one who’s the best at pretending to be.

when jet and party actually acknowledge their feelings for each other, they both have to break down a lot of emotional barriers to do so, and it’s a large part of them beginning to reject the characters they’ve resigned themselves to. party has to realize that they are not an inherently horrible person and that they do deserve to live a good life, that jet is not an untouchable object that they’ll ruin by being close to. jet has to accept that he’s allowed to love someone he’s been taught he’s not allowed to love, that just because he’s in a relationship unlike the ones he’s ‘supposed’ to want doesn’t make it any less real. it heavily involves them letting each other off the pedestals they’ve put each other on, and loving the real person underneath the persona. that is actually an interesting thing that is true for both of them: while they fixate on the fronts that the other puts up, it’s the real person underneath that they fall in love with. jet idolizes the heroic leader that party tries to be, but falls in love with their kindness and vulnerabilities. party envies jets projected normality and righteousness, they fall in love with the strange quirks that make him who he is.

their emotional journeys won’t have full resolutions in this fic, but if i finish it i will probably write a continuation in which the analog wars have ended and there is more focus on the characters emotional development. it would show more of that theme of them letting go of the roles they’ve placed themselves in: party realizing that they don’t need to act a specific way or have a certain personality to be a hero, they just need to help people; jet letting go of his attachment to normalcy. they don’t need to be perfect heroes, they don’t need to follow specific norms or rules. they just need to be who they are, and that’s some fucked up kids stuck in a fucked up situation just trying to make the best of it.

of course, even with those emotional issues resolved, they still struggle. I mentioned at the beginning the theme of real events being turned into myths, and that would certainly be relevant to the killjoys, especially to party. during the analog wars, the image of party poison as a hero and leader of the zones spread quick and they were mythologized into an almost godlike figure. (this is true for the other killjoys as well, but not to such an extent.) this image comes to haunt them even when the wars have ended: wherever they go, they are expected to live up to this idea of themself that they have long since let go of and never even really fit in the first place. the mythologizing is to the point where certain people who preach about the figures of party poison and the killjoys don’t even know what they actually look like.

there is also the fact that while the analog wars have technically ended, there are still attacks occasionally made by bl/ind, and the killjoys have to defend themselves with violence whether they like it or not. the ‘end’ of the analog wars also brings along some other questions about the themes: how do the killjoys deal with the absurdity of their lives when they can no longer blame it on existing in an active war zone? how do they rebuild their lives after all that non-stop violence? again, this is if i finish the fic im currently writing.

im not sure how to end this post but it’s been fun to write and i hope other people might enjoy reading it. i might write a similar one about how the same themes reflect in fun ghoul and kobra kid, but i dont know.

#read my meta analysis of my unfinished unposted fic boy #danger days #mcr danger days #party poison #jet star #danger days the true lives of the fabulous killjoys #ttlotfk

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helly-watermelonsmellinfellon · 1 year

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I’m probably gonna get a lot of shit for this, but who cares?

Tsunade is a well-written character.

I have seen think piece after think piece on why she’s one of the worst written female characters in Naruto, and while Kishimoto needs a lot of work on his female characters, Tsunade is probably the best-written one out of all of them.

“She only exists to further Naruto’s narrative!”

Everyone in Naruto exists to further his narrative. Typically, all side characters exist to further the plot of the MC. In everything. In some way. That’s just how it is. Tsunade actually has other stuff to do in life though, and her entire existence doesn’t depend on Naruto on a day by day basis. She doesn’t base her own self-worth off of him in any fashion. She doesn’t hide behind him and let him do all the work. She contributes a shit ton.

“She got scared of blood and ran away from her duty just cuz some guy she liked died!”

No.

1.) Naruto was created by a Japanese man, and has predominantly Japanese influence. That means their gods, superstitions, habits, and teachings are thoroughly entrenched in the Naruto Universe. Tsunade is superstitious, and in this fictional universe, bad omens like cracking teacups and falling photo frames are real hints that something bad has happened.

2.) The Shodaime died young, as shown by his Edo Tensei form. And then the Nidaime died young. She gave her grandfather’s necklace to her little brother, as a good luck charm, and he died not long after getting it. She gave it to her lover as a good luck charm, and he died not long after getting it, in a gruesome fashion. She develops a fear of blood as a result.

3.) Tsunade and the necklace are the common denominators and she takes the results as a sign that she is cursed with bad luck. She develops a severe fear of what this means and cannot bring herself to continue as she is. She’ll get someone else killed.

4.) Danzo and Hiruzen, both sucking so very much at leading a village, helped ruin her stance on the ideals of Konoha. From her standpoint in all she witnessed, the Will of Fire was bullshit and not worth defending. (And tbh the village in general is full of shitty people who really don’t deserve to be defended if they’re going to completely outcast a child for something beyond his control.)

“She drinks and gambles a lot which makes her too manly!”

So?

I get that drinking and gambling aren’t ‘feminine’ habits so we don’t see many women in fiction being involved in either very much, but it’s not a big deal. She’s a grown woman who has been to war, fought for her country, and saved countless lives. She’s in her 50s and has more than earned her weird vices.

How liking alcohol and gambling is considered a manly thing, I still don’t understand.

“She’s so vain she keeps herself young-looking!”

So?

She can use her own chakra to keep her body young. She doesn’t even have to get surgery. Why is this such a big deal? It isn’t as if she won’t stop funneling chakra into that purpose if she absolutely needs that excess chakra for something else. She’s done it many times. Her vanity doesn’t get in the way of duty when it calls for it.

She was never a liability to her teammates. Her vanity never got in the way of her training.

Besides, it’s funny how many people who praise a certain character despite her terrible vanity that gets in the way of everything, will shit on Tsunade.

“She needed a Talk no Jutsu in order to change!”

I know we all like to clown Naruto’s good guy, sunshine smiles way of handling things, but he puts a lot more into it than just a few words. Dude literally called her out where no one else dared to, held her to her word, protected and defended her at the cost of his own well-being, and inspired her.

Many of you out there would never do anything for someone else if there was no benefit to you first. And many people don’t act until they are personally affected by something. The difference is Tsunade is a traumatized soldier who already served her country and saved thousands of lives countless times through her efforts to improve the medical field. Comparing her not wanting to be Hokage, to some Karen who has never helped another person a day in her life, is an insult to her personal sacrifices and efforts.

I think Tsunade is very complex and very human, and she has one of my favorite stories in the entire Naruto Universe.

#Naruto #Tsunade #writing

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coveredinredpaint · 6 months

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hi! my name is rex too and i think thats pretty cool

anyway, i was wondering if you had any tips on dressing feminine but like,,,, also being able to pass? or tips on being confident enough to not need to pass?

heyy that is pretty cool!!

im gonna be honest with you, i never really managed to pass before starting t. there were like 5 times ppl gendered me correctly but after that they immediatly "corrected" themselves. the only person who didnt was a toddler, i hope hes doing great.

all the tips and tricks ppl gave out never worked for me, never managed to figure out why, im thinking it was mostly my voice.

so i got absolutely no passing advice for you, but i can definitely tell you how to work on your confidence and say fuck you to societies ridiculous expectations

(it turned out longer than i distracted, i cant give concrete advice apparently my apologies)

tw: mention of bullying and some mental health stuff but nothing heavy

before i start i will say that it takes time. it takes time to learn and let go of this need to fit in. to learn to do your own thing even if you have to do it alone. to grow and learn who you want to be or are.

first we need to understand that expectations of how we should act or dress or look, whether based on our gender or not, are absolute bullshit. like straight up made up.

step one is kill the cop in your head. every time you judge yourself (or someone else) for something, ask why you care about that. most of the time its cause you have been taught in some way that what youre doing is not according to "the rules". this can be for the smallest things, like when i get really excited and stim about something i used to feel embarassed because "men dont act like that". sometimes i still feel that way. its not something you can just get rid of, so its important to actively affirm yourself that what youre doing is okay and that you are allowed to do what makes you happy.

dealing with yourself is already a hell of a challenge, but other people, that something else. i hope you live in an accepting area and i have heard many stories of people are queer fully accepted for it. but often thats sadly not yet the case. surely isnt for me at my school. there are people who are gonna make you feel like shit, who are gonna call you all the horrible things the voice in your brain calls you too. you are gonna wish you were "normal" sometimes, even if you dont really mean it.

going back to normal? going back in the closet? letting go of the clothes that make my feel better even on the most dysphoric days? fuck no, i finally started to get myself, my life back, im not sacrificing that for some teens whos names i dont even know. so you turn it around, no longer "why do they treat me like that" but "how dare they treat me like that" if they kick you while youre down you better bite their ankles and dont let go. most people who bully people who are "other" are terrified of what they see in us. we are living proof that their belief of how the world should work is very wrong. they call you a fag and a tranny? you better come to school next day in the gayest clothes you own. they call you an emo and bark at you? you better be dressed even more punk the next day. they may laugh at you, yell at you, even record you or push you around. it doesnt matter, they hold no power over who you are.

but please do not try and carry this alone. dont let yourself turn bitter. its is difficult to be treated like shit for simply existing. even when it doesnt hurt as much as it did its still exhausting. find someone to talk to, whether its a family member you trust, a friend, a mental health professional or other queer people online. its important not to suppress your feelings. get them out, by either talking about them or writing or making art or music.

know that its your life and you can live it however the hell you want. be kind to yourseld, be kind to others. if you are not where you want to be to right now you will in the future. cant really call it a life if you didnt live for it. it will get better, you just got to keep going and keep fighting.

#queer punk #punx #queercore #punk #transmasc #trans punk

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intersex-support · 1 year

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I've started grappling with and trying to accept the idea that I am intersex, and just never knew my whole life. Its so vividly painful. Especially trying to know what it may mean for me being trans. Do you how to deal with intersex related trauma? Its difficult to process because gender dysphoria is a large factors influencing how I feel.

I'll add more context here. I'm amab. I am transfem. I think that I have some form of AIS (either partial or mild, im still figuring that out) the best way I can explain my situation is my 1st puberty was much lesser than lets say a cis man for comparison. My body hair has always been thinner and slow growing, I have always been shorter (5'6), I have a curvy figure. (I fully have wide hips and I'm almost certain I've had very small breast buds ever since I was young. My actual chest has always been a bit bigger) I've had far less muscle than most cis men. I have very feminine facial features and have been told I pass without makeup or anything. For as long as I can remember my ejaculate has always been very clear (I suspect I may be infertile, though I've never gotten it tested) my genitals don't seem to have developed at all of the same rate or in the same way as a cis mans. Mine are smaller compared to others. I suspect they may not have ever "fully grown" so to speak. Im not lacking anything or have anything extra.(sorry for genital talk!) I just feel very lost.

Thank you so much

Hi anon 💜

Dealing with intersex related trauma can be so, so difficult, and I'm glad you reached out. I think based on what you shared about your body and puberty that it makes a lot of sense that you think you might be intersex. Those experiences of having different traits than your peers, or going through puberty in a way that was different than you expected, can be really complicated experiences even if we don't feel negative about our body or those traits. It can be emotionally exhausting when we look back through our childhood and analyze our body and experiences to try to put the pieces together and figure all of it out, so I just want to affirm that it's totally okay if you're feeling lost and overwhelmed right now.

It's okay to take things at whatever pace feels right to you. You're the same person that you've always been, even if now you're figuring out new information about yourself and what that means for you. You don't have to change anything about the way you identify or how you move through the world, but it's okay if you do feel like being intersex is impacting your life in a new way. I know I felt really, really confused and was really lost about how being intersex impacted my gender. I felt like I had failed at something, and didn't know if I could still identify as a trans man because I felt like I had never really been "AFAB," in the first place, and I just didn't know what it could look like to be trans and intersex at the same time. But there really are no rules and no right way to do this. I eventually came to really feel secure in my identity as someone who was both intersex and trans. My dysphoria comes from both places, my intersex body feels natural and right, and my trans identity reflects my experiences of growing up one way and then embracing my transition. There's no right way to think or feel about any of this, but know that there are so many trans and genderqueer intersex people out here and that you are absolutely not alone. You can be both trans and intersex and live as both fully.

It really helped me to talk to other intersex people and explore the intersex community. I know that other intersex people have saved my life-the connection and love I've found in the intersex community is really beautiful. If that's something you're interested in exploring, Interconnect used to be the AIS support group and now runs a support group for all intersex people. And if you send an ask off anon, I can send you a link to our intersex discord if that's something you're interested in.

I think something else that helped me to deal with intersex trauma and the process of intersex discovery was just to give myself permission to take things as slow as I needed to and experience all these feelings without shame. Sorting through my feelings around some intersex trauma took years, and a lot of journaling and talking to intersex people and trying to put words to experiences. I didn't feel proud or like I loved my intersex body for so many years, but being in intersex spaces where people were sharing those feelings was something that was so helpful for me. So whatever your journey looks like-whether you want to seek medical involvement right away, whether you want to go through self reflection, whether you want to jump right into community spaces-any of that is so valid.

And I just want to affirm that it's okay if it all feels incredibly painful right now, and at the same time I really truly believe it will not be this painful forever, and I want you to have access to some of that hope. I felt so terrible about being intersex at first and didn't think I could ever feel okay about it, but day by day it started to feel more natural and beautiful and right, and it started to make more sense the way it fit into my life.

Here's a bunch of random resources in case you're interested:

Intersex Variations Glossary

Intersex Organizations

XOXY memoir about living with AIS

Truly sending so much love and solidarity, and feel free to reach out with any questions, if you just need to vent, if you need help navigating the medical side of things--literally anything.

Best wishes 💜💜💜

#intersex #actuallyintersex #ais

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