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emmasbrain · 13 hours

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Miscommunication (the fun kind)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Warnings: slight alcohol consumption? i think that’s all, nothing NSFW in this one

Synopsis: Your good friend Penelope sees you in a bar and begs you to sit with her and her work friends. You realise you like one. She also realises you like one. She however, thinks you like the wrong one.

The moment Penelope spotted you, she gasped. “Oh my god!” You spun round on your seat on the bar towards her running over to you in unrunnable heels, a brilliant smile gracing her face and a surprised one falling to yours as you saw each other.

“Penelope?” You hopped off your bar stool and pulled her into a hug. “It’s been too long darlin’. I feel like we haven’t seen each other in years.” You gushed, definitely over exaggerating your circumstances.

“Didn’t we go for coffee last Thursday?” She giggles, and you see the familiar glint in her eye that she only got after a couple of margaritas.

“Like I said, years!” You giggled right back, and she held your hands, leaning in towards you more.

“Who are you here with?” She questioned, looking around.

You shrugged casually, “I came with some girls from work, but they all left with guys and I decided to drink my loneliness away… Except I haven’t actually had a drink yet because I’ve been sitting here debating whether I really want to drink alone.” Your words, though holding a little weight, came out with a laugh and a self deprecating sigh.

Penelope gave you a look, and you knew she was brewing something. “What if… you come sit with us?” Before you can ask questions or protest, she continues, “You know I’ve always wanted to introduce you to the team, which is who I’m here with, and it would be good for you too ‘cus it means you can drink not on your own.” She gives you puppy dog eyes, and clasps her hands together waiting for your answer.

You relent, deciding the sooner you had an interaction with her FBI friends the sooner it was over. You had heard some things, and they seemed lovely, but they were her friends and you had the feeling you wouldn’t be very welcome with your job as a journalist. “Okay fine, but you can’t mention my job. I don’t want them to hate me on the first impression.”

“It’s okay they know, I told them ages ago about what you do. Alright you stay here, I’ll go tell them and then I can introduce you.” She was practically buzzing, so excited you could see it in the air around her. She shuffled away happily, and came back to drag you over a moment later.

As you approached the group, she introduced you in order of where they sat around the table. “That’s JJ, Derek, David, Hotch, Emily, and Spencer. Everybody, this is my friend Y/N.” She smiles all big and goofy and then scrunches up her face in disappointment. “There’s no chairs left.”

You take this as an opportunity. “Well, I suppose that means I should g-“

“Here, you can have mine. I’ll grab one from over there.” Spencer quickly finds a solution, standing to walk over to an unused table and fetch another chair. You follow him with your eyes as he lifts it over. Doctor Spencer Reid. Penelope had mentioned the man on multiple occasions. Ever the problem solver, you gathered from her ramblings on the things he would do and say.

Penelope sits in the chair between JJ and Derek, and the latter lets his arm rest on Penelope’s shoulders. As you sit down in Spencer’s sacrificed chair, he pulls another one in between you and JJ, and you both awkwardly smile at each other before you look down to your hands in your lap. “Thank you.” You whisper to him.

“What for?” He whispers back.

“The chair.” You mumble, and he nods.

“It’s no problem.”

“Okay, I say we get some drinks. How bout it, pretty girl?” Derek's words snap you from your awkwardness, and you smile, realising he’s given you a nickname already.

“I am in dire need of a beer.” You reply, and Emily looks at you from your right.

“Beer, huh? I woulda coined you for a vodka redbull kinda girl. All for the thrills.” She looks at you with a smirk and you shake your head with a giggle.

“I’m normally a whiskey kinda girl actually, I get that from my parents. I only very rarely drink vodka, it just makes me want to make out with people.” The embarrassment soaks in the moment the words come out of your mouth and you realise you’ve just told a group of behavioural analysts that vodka makes you horny.

“Alcohol oftentimes does have the effect of making you sexually confident and can heighten feelings of affection and make you more open to try things sexually. One could assume that your specific set of hormones are just more affected by the chemicals in vodka in comparison to other alcohols.” Spencer pulls his lips into a straight line, and you giggle at his readily available information. Penelope wasn’t joking.

“Thanks, Doc.” You bump his shoulder, and he looks a little confused but mumbles a “No problem” anyway. As he looks away towards Derek and Penelope, you take the chance to study his features discreetly. The angle of his jaw perfectly contrasts the softness of his eyes, the honey brown colour almost sparkling within the dim lighting of the bar. His cheeks are tinged pink from the currently inaudible teasing from Derek, and there’s a little smile on his lips that you could almost envision yourself kissing.

Derek breaks you out of your head a second time. “Hey pretty girl, you wanna go get those drinks now?” He flashes you a grin and you smile, nodding.

“Yea let’s do it. Does everyone know what they want?” As you’re trying to split everyone’s orders between you and Derek, Penelope gives you a look that says “do you have the hots for my friend?” and you give her a look back that says “maybe..” she gasps and the whole table turns to look at her, making her realise that she’d turned the conversation into an out loud one now.

“You know what? Us girls can handle those drinks, Derek. Why don’t you have a seat.” She drags you up to the bar and orders quickly before she forgets, and then whips round to face you.

“You like him. I saw it on your face. You like him!!” She whisper shouts and you glance back to Derek and Spencer hunched over the table chatting. You smile.

“Look at him! Of course I like him, who wouldn’t like him? He’s simultaneously cute and hot and I swear men aren’t supposed to work like that.” You whisper shout back at her, and her smiles sadly.

“I wish I could set you up, but he’s taken. And his girlfriend is amazing so I can’t even be mad about it.” She sighs, and you slightly deflate.

“Oh man, I can’t believe the first time in years that I actually want a guy he’s taken. Just my luck, I suppose.” You laugh, and grab the drinks that have been sat on the bar. “Well, it was nice while it lasted.” You shrug your shoulders and head back over to the table with her, handing everyone their drinks and sitting back next to Spencer to sip your own.

After an hour or so, conversation was going a tad dry, and you decided to use an old icebreaker your college roommate had taught you to get things flowing again. “Okay, one after the other I want everyone to tell the group something embarrassing. It can be anything, as long as it’s about you.” Everyone nods in agreement, and Derek starts.

“There was this one time I was flirting with a girl while I was out with my mom. Now that was my first mistake, my mom comes over and starts talkin to this girl askin if she’s my girlfriend. I said momma I’ve only just met her, and she said ‘well then you better hurry up, this girl is far too beautiful for you to pass up’. Before I could even speak, the girl says ‘I think you’re too beautiful to pass up’. She was talkin to my mom! And I just thought hey maybe she’s just tryna get on moms good side, you know? You win over mom, you win over me. But then she spent 10 minutes flirting with my mother until I had to drag her away. My mom will not stop bringing it up just to mock me.”

Spencer cracked up beside you at the story, and you couldn't help laughing a little with him.

Penelope pipes in, “Tell them when this happened.” He grimaces.

“Last year.” He barely says it loud enough to hear, but you all catch it and it sends you all into a fit of laughter.

Rossi reminisces about the time he proposed to one of his ex wives, and she said no. In public. Then later in the day said yes, telling him she just wanted to embarrass him the way his public proposal had embarrassed her.

Hotch talks of the time he finished work early and decided to pick up Jack from school. The teacher had asked him if he was Jack’s grandfather, and he had to explain that he most definitely was not.

“I once hugged my friend from behind to tell her goodbye at a party. It wasn’t my friend.” Is all Emily gives for details. She grimaces at the sheer memory of it, and you can’t help the little smile that graces your lips.

“My turn then?” You question the group, and they nod. “I probably should’ve used this time to think of what I was gonna say. Well I suppose I’ll use the only one that’s currently present in my mind,” You turn to face Spencer, “I was gonna ask you out before Penelope had to drag me away and tell me you were taken. Which was slightly embarrassing for me in the moment, but as I’m saying this I realise I’ve just embarrassed myself even more.” You nod through your internal pain at how stupid you felt, and took a deep breath before trying to move on. Spencer looked too taken aback to let that happen.

“You were gonna ask me out? And Penelope told you I was in a relationship? Why would she do that?” He looks plain confused now, and you mirror his expression.

“I never told you Spencer was in a relationship. I told you Derek was in a relationship, because I thought he was the friend you said you liked! Wait. So when you said he was hot you meant Spencer?” Now even Penelope looked confused, although not exactly for the same reason you were.

“Yes! Of course I meant Spencer! No offence Derek, you’re lovely but you’re not my type.” You rushed, giving him a sheepish smile.

“And I am?” Spencer speaks again.

“Pretty much yea.” The smile he gives you at your words makes you look away nervously.

“So what you mean is that if you hadn’t been told I was taken I could have went on a date with you?” He’s looking inquisitively at your face now, tracing for signs of a lie as he waits for you to respond.

“You still could go on a date with me.” You suggest, with a little shrug and a smile that reaches your eyes.

“I’d like that.” He nods, slightly enthusiastic but trying to play it cool.

“Me too.” You nod with him. “I should probably be heading home, I have work I still need to catch up on. But I could give you my number and you could take me to your favourite place or something. Somewhere I can get to know you just from looking around.” You suggest, gathering your things and scribbling your number down on a spare napkin.

“That sounds good- great. That sounds great.” His eyes are filled with a mixture of excitement and something else you’re not sure about, but the look on his face makes you smile.

“Call me then.” You nod finally, getting up to leave. You give everyone their goodbyes, hugging them all lightly and giving Spencer a little wave.

Over the next few days the anticipation of his call is almost overwhelming. And when your phone begins to ring, an unfamiliar number popping up on the screen, you bite your nail before clicking the answer button. “Hello?”

“Hi.”

A/N: I don’t actually really like this, but it’s fine. I wanna do a part two, someone tell me to do a part two plsplsplspls. (May rewrite this once i’m not jet lagged and cramming it between studying but idk)

#doctor spencer reid #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds

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ingravinoveritas · 1 month

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I know most folks have probably seen this already, but I really need to talk about how insane it is that David mentioned Michael as a possible Doctor on an episode of DW Confidential in 2007.

This was ten years before filming GO season 1, and there was absolutely no reason for David to be saying Michael's name. Julie and Jane did not bring Michael up in any capacity, nor was he specifically relevant to the conversation. Yet of all the names David could have said, out of all the countless UK actors in the business...he said "Michael Sheen."

There is this idea that soulmates are "loud." That it means seeing someone from across a crowded room as music swells dramatically in the background. But soulmates are also quiet. A soulmate can be someone you talk about when no one is listening. Someone you think about and who makes you blush for no real reason at all. Someone who lives in the back of your mind, vibrating at a steady hum that you don't even hear at first.

Until it gets louder.

Until they're suddenly a part of your life in a way you never expected.

Until you can't remember anymore what life was like without them.

From BYT in 2003 to this DW Confidential in 2007 to Good Omens in 2017 on into the present. Call it the invisible red string. Call it Fate. Whatever it is that's between them, I am and will forever be in awe at Michael always being on David's mind (and vice-versa), and how they finally found each other...

#david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #doctor who #doctor who confidential #and now they actually have gazed at each other from across a crowded room #big 'soulmates before they met' energy #sometimes someone comes into your life not when you expected it #but when you needed it most #the way they bring each other up when the other isn't around is everything #cue Kylie's 'Can't Get You Out of My Head' playing somewhere in the distance #saying a lot by saying very little #but i think david is definitely telling us who he is #i don't know if i believe in fate but i believe in them #ineffable lovers #discourse

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finexbright · 2 years

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for fuck's sake the reason harry isn't doing much promo for my policeman isn't because he's a queerbaiter or whatever but because the one time he did speak about the movie he said something so profoundly gay and hashtag relatable about hiding your identity and sexuality and the yearning that comes along with it that everyone was confused how this 'straight' man knew so much about being gay

#it's like you guys forget that he's literally closeted.#yeah some instances may be scheduling conflict #but all of you thinking you're onto something because he didn't show up for a promo thing on zoom.#bestie i don't know how else to tell you that he. is. closeted.#and because of that the way he speaks about his character speaks volumes about it #i don't know what devil harry made a deal with to even be able to play a gay character but i can tell you a hundred #percent that deal definitely including him not engaging in active direct promo about it #and you all really. really think that the director/producers who are queer themselves who managed to hire #talented award winning queer actors like emma corrin and david dawson. who seem to have given so much care into #making the film. would hire a ''queerbaiter''??? someone who at the time had half a minute of acting to his name and that too #as support cast?#come on by saying shit like that you're actually insulting the talent and judgement of so many people #you think emma and david would have been so lovey with harry if he was a ''queerbaiter''?? sorry but no. absolutely not #please use more than one braincell before saying shit like this #my policeman

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saltylandland · 1 year

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Random NSFW Lost Boys Headcanons bc y not

Some of these are pretty well known and accepted and I’m just regurgitating what I’ve seen a lot, and some of these are my own ideas.

David’s a pleasure dom.

David loves using toys on his partner, will only enjoy it on himself if it’s self inflicted.

I can see David doing ‘daily affirmations’ if you have low self esteem, giving you an orgasm for each affirmation you repeat. (This was definitely from someone else I’ll reblog their post if I can find it)

Dwayne goes feral over thicker girls or any kind of chub really, even if it’s just a little.

Dwayne goes feral over sundresses, he’s smart enough not to assume you wear sundresses just for him, but if he helps you pick out an outfit and he grabs a sundress, you know what’s on his mind.

Marko gets the most kick out of chasing you down before you two fuck.

Sex with Paul while you’re both 🍃

This is a little out there, but I think Paul has a voyeurism/humiliation/degradation streak?

So on one hand, You know how it’s a common trope in the 80s and 90s where teenage boys steal girls underwear? He likes that, the thrill of it, potentially getting caught or purposefully so.

On a more darker side, he likes being degraded for being a creep and pushed around. Like tell him he’s disgusting and to get off while he rearranges your guts. (Consent-fully of course)

If the boys share a s/o or are poly, free use is very quickly brought up. As well as voyeurism in general.

A situation that I thought about would happen pretty often, while you are sitting on someone’s lap, another comes up and starts feeling you up/giving you head. Suddenly it’s like you’re under siege as the person who you are on their lap, hold you down when you squirm as the other goes at it.

#the lost boys #tlb dwayne #the lost boys 1987 #tlb 1987 #tlb fanfic #tlb paul #david tlb #tlb marko #yandere the lost boys #dwayne the lost boys #marko tlb #the lost boys x reader #the lost boys smut #the lost boys headcanons

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deeply-unserious-fellow · 3 months

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HOLY FUCKING SHIT HAZBIN WAS SO FUCKING GOOD IM GOING INSANE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKENFKCMKWJRKFNSMSMDMSMDN-

Okay. Okay deep breaths. Time for some cool and collected comentary. Okay.

Putting it under the cut so ppl can avoid spoilers :)

HUSK USED TO BE AN OVERLORD!?!?!?!?!? HELLO!?!?!?!?!? FUCKIN PLOTTWIST OF THE CENTURY WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?

Huskerdust my beloved

SIR PENTIOUS MY BELOVED

Vox was great. I love him he's so fucking cool-

If Vox wasn't already a Tumblr sexyman he's definitely gonna be one now. He's so fucking Onceler coded it's insane.

Velvette was amazing too. It's so funny that she's British lmao I was not expecting that

Velvette is also very Anne Boelyne(like from SIX not from Real Life) coded it's wild. Her part in that song with Carmila was giving so much Don't Lose Your Head

I swear I'll stop comparing them to other characters I SWEAR

Okay but me and my brother are working on a Hazbin Hotel swap AU where we swap the main cast with the overlords and in that AU we swapped Husk and Vox. The Husk used to be an overlord reveal is gonna make that AU soooooo much easier lmao

ADAM IS REALLY GOOD I promised I would stop comparing to other characters but he was giving SO MUCH Hades from Disney's Hercules like its insane

I think we should let Alex Brightman sing rocj and roll more often that song was such a fucking BANGER

SPEAKING OF THE SONGS- oh my god I love the soundtrack so fucking much-

Stayed Gone was a lil less hype then I was expecting but thats okay cuz it was still a banger and I loved the visuals

That song battle between Carmilla and Velvette????? Oh my god??????

Carmilla and Vaggie's song was also amazing but I think I know why they didn't have Stephanie Beatriz sing her own song in Elena of Avalor y'know, girl cannot hold a character voice while singing

LOSER WAS SO FUCKING GOOD- I love Huskerdust so much. I love Keith David so much. Blake Roman is such a phenomenal Angel Dust.

SPEAKING OF all the voice actors are amazing. Blake Roman, Brightman as Pentious and Joel Perez were the ones I was the most worried abt but I loved all their preformances so much it was fucking fantastic

Valentino can go die in a fucking hole <3

The other Vees are cool and fun to watch but I hope Valentino fucking dies

Okay to be fair he's also fun to watch when he's not in the same room as Angel Dust but tHAT DOESNT SUPERSEID MY HATRED FUCK 👏 THAT 👏 GUY 👏👏👏👏

Speaking of the Vees tho I do love their dynamic

My favorite episode was probably Radio Killed the Video Star bcuz of mY BOYS PENTIOUS AND VOX!!!!!!!!

And the most painful episode to watch was- no surprise- Masquerade

That episode was a fucking rollercoaster Jesus fucking Christ...

Those scenes with Angel and Valentino where so fucking visceral... like. Who the fuck wrote that. Who are you. Are you okay. Do you need help-

Tho I'm not sure abt how they're handling the ah- more serious bits of Angel's character. It is WAYYYYYY to early to tell and I think Loser wasn't like. Trying to downplay the situation. But the writers better have been careful moving foreward bcuz I can def see a world where Angel's arc goes very wrong very fast-

Also while we're criticizing: wasn't a fan of the pacing. Especially in episode two. Like I can look past it, but the way they breeze past some plot points kinda bugged me

Otherwise it was sooooooo fucking good man oh my god

THE HUMOR WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN PPL MAKE IT OUT TO BEEEEEE PPL NEED TO STOP SHITTING ON THE COMEDY IN THESE SHOWS MAN-

The gag where Niffty just fucking stopped thinking every time the camera turned on was so fucking good

Niffty in general was really fuckin funny

Alastor was a lot less prominent of a character then I thought he would be but tbh I think that's for the best. He's like Discord from My Little Pony, fun in small doses but if you don't set perameters for how often he appears and when he's willing to help it kinda breaks the show

Chaggie is adorable and I love them <3

I think this show does a really good job balancing the focus on the whole cast! These first 4 episodes seem to be pretty Charlie, Angel and kind of Vaggie heavy but everybody still gets their fair share of attention!

THE ANIMATIOJ OH MY GOD- IT WAS FUCKING PHENOMENAL IM LOSING MY M I N D

Im going feral IM GOING FERAL THIS EXCEEDED MY EXPECTATIONS AKFNVKKENFEKFNDN

I love comedy. I love musicals. I love drama. I love silly characters. I LOVE ANIMATION!!!!!!!

It's like the South Park movie but longer and better animated and IVE BEEN WAITING FOUR FUCKING YEARS-

Just. So excited overall. Can't wait to see where it goes. May make more posts abt my thoughts in tbe future.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin spoilers #<- just to be safe #hazbin husk #angel dust #huskerdust #sir pentious #hazbin vox #hazbin velvette #hazbin adam #carmilla carmine #vaggie #hazbin valentino #hazbin niffty #hazbin alastor #charlie morningstar #chaggie

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dwobbitfromtheshire · 6 months

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Bisexual. Bisexual. Bisexual. Bisexual!

It was the only word that was now bouncing around in Eddie Munson's brain. Steve had come out several minutes ago along with Robin, and they had long since moved on to playing Rocky Horror Picture show. The characters danced around in front of him, along with the word bouncing around in his head, in time with the music. Steve was saying how hot Tim Curry was, and suddenly Eddie imagined putting on the outfit himself. He imagined Steve saying that about him as he ran his hand up his thigh. Eddie shrieked.

"Pause! I have to make a phone call!" Eddie exclaimed, jumping up.

It was like all the lights in his head turned on, and there was this little man standing standing next to a projector as he showed Eddie all of the things that he had suppressed.

"Are you okay, Eddie?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, can I use your phone?" Eddie exclaimed.

"Sure, man," Steve said.

Eddie rushed into the kitchen and grabbed the phone. He dialed the familiar number pretty quickly and waited impatiently as the phone rang. A few rings later, and Ronnie answered the phone.

"Hey, Ronnie," Eddie said.

"What did you do now? Your voice sounds pretty high," Ronnie said.

"Nothing, Jesus," Eddie said rolling his eyes.

"You haven't been accused of murder again, have you?" Ronnie asked.

"No!" Eddie exclaimed.

"Yeah, you still haven't told me exactly what happened," Ronnie said.

"And I'm still not going to," Eddie sighed. "This isn't why I called. Do you know David Bowie?"

"Do I know him personally? No," Ronnie said. "Do I know of him? Yes."

"Ugh, you sarcastic shit. I think I'm like Bowie," Eddie said and groaned. "Ugh, I had that word in my head, but I think it fell out. . . Bisexual! Yes, that."

"Oh. Wow," Ronnie said and paused. "Would it annoy you to know that I kind of already figured that out a long time ago?"

"What? How?!" He asked.

"Oh, you were obvious even if you didn't know that you were being obvious," she said.

"Well, you could have given me a heads up, Ronnie," Eddie said.

"Oh, yeah, no. This was something that you needed to figure out for yourself," she said, and she paused. "Thanks for telling me."

"You're my best friend, Ronnie. You should be the first one to know about anything big like that," Eddie said. "Which apparently you already knew about."

"And yet, I still don't know what happened over spring break," she said. "Which is fine. By the way, even if I didn't know before I left, I would have known immediately when you made the call from the hospital and ranted about Steve Harrington's strong arms."

"Jesus, don't remind me," Eddie blushed. "I was high on pain meds."

"By the way, when I called before, it was Steve who answered. I like him. I approve of you and him raising that orphaned child together," Ronnie said. "He wouldn't shut up about you or what you're like with that kid. Jesus, why didn't you tell me you adopted a child with a man?"

"His name is Dustin, and he has a mom," Eddie rolled his eyes.

"I definitely like him better than Paige," Ronnie said.

"Would you give it a rest about Paige?" Eddie rolled his eyes.

"I still don't think she ever had a deal in place to begin with. You would have gone to LA, and there would have been no audition," Ronnie said.

"I'm hanging up now," Eddie sighed, the corners of his mouth lifted up.

"Good luck," Ronnie said, and Eddie hung up the phone.

Eddie walked into back into the living room where Steve and Robin were whispering amongst themselves.

"Everything alright?" Steve asked as Eddie sat back on the couch.

"Yeah, apparently I'm bisexual and I've always been like that. I just didn't know it," Eddie shrugged.

"What? Are you telling me you just had a crisis? Did you just go double-check?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, a little crisis, but I'm good now," Eddie said. "I called Ronnie."

"Ronnie?" Robin asked.

"Eddie's Robin," Steve explained.

"You have a Robin?" She asked.

"No, a Ronnie," Eddie corrected, and she rolled her eyes.

"So, you realized it just a few minutes ago?" Steve asked as he leaned over Robin.

"Yeah, after you guys came out, then when Tim Curry came on and then again when you called him hot. All I kept thinking about was how I wished you were calling me hot," Eddie rolled his eyes.

"Time for us to switch places," Robin grinned.

Steve and Robin swapped, so now Steve was sitting close to Eddie. He put his arm on the couch behind Eddie.

"Eddie," Steve said softly, and Eddie turned to face him. "You are very hot. Hotter than Tim Curry. You would look absolutely sinful in that outfit."

He leaned forward and kissed Eddie gently. Eddie kissed him back before Steve broke the kiss. He leaned back against the couch and pulled Eddie against his side, wrapping his arm around his shoulders.

"If Vickie wasn't working tonight, then this could be a double date," Robin said.

"Next time," Eddie grinned.

"Welcome to the club, Eddie," Robin said.

"Thanks," Eddie said softly.

Eddie relaxed into Steve’s arms, turning sideways and burrowing his head into Steve’s neck while throwing his arm across his stomach. The puzzle that was his life felt a little more complete now.

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nightcolorz · 5 months

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Armand surgical malpractice meta (spoilers for TVA)

It’s, at least from what I’ve seen, a pretty popularly agreed upon conception that Armand’s mutation of Claudia b4 her death as described in TVA didn’t actually happen..partly bcus it’s such a drastic and grotesque retcon from her death in interview with the vampire so lots of ppl don’t want to address it as canon, and partly bcus it’s so bizarre and seemingly unprompted in context that it just seems more plausible that Armand would make this up as some sort of twisted shock value rather then actually do it. I used to buy into this theory and never rlly thought about it beyond that, and today for the first time I thought about it deeply and realized. Damn I rlly disagree! I think that Armand 100% canonically chopped Claudia’s head off and sewed it onto an adult body. I believe it happened as told. And I have many reasons !

First and foremost I don’t think that Armand is actually capable of lying so deliberately in this context. Interpreting most tvc narrators as potentially lying to our faces and intentionally twisting events to suit a narrative and a purpose of dictating our perception of them is, I think, accurate and justified, and smth I love about this fandom. Everyone is not to be trusted 100%, especially Louis and Lestat, who are said and implied many times to have completely fabricated some events in the books for the sake of painting a picture. Tvc serve as this over arching plot about multiple conflicting characters manipulating events of their lives to suit a narrative that we as the audience can pick apart and discover the truth within. Very much “this bitch said WHAT about me?? that dumb cunt is always spreading lies smh, it actually happened LIKE THIS” (they r both not telling the full truth). Armand however is very much an outlier here, and it’s part of what makes TVA so unique as a chronicle. It’s a big part of his character throughout the series, in TVA and leading up to TVA, that Armand’s way of thinking is so dysfunctional and his memory is so flawed (bcus of all his trauma) (and neurodivergence) (imo) that he isn’t able to fully conceptualize the events of his life as chronological and meaningful in the way that one would need to do to be able to write a memoir.

He can’t describe events in broad strokes, or wrap his head around a vast emotional impact in a way that is explanatory or intentional. Think of that conversation he has with Daniel in queen of the damned, where he explains that he isn’t capable of telling Daniel what his life in the past “was like” because that’s a concept incomprehensible to him. He only knows what happened, not what it was like, not how it affected him or how it shaped his personhood, what it means etc. It’s a form of dissociation almost. The vampire armand is the first time in Armand’s vampiric life that he self reflects beyond acknowledging events and his emotions in that moment, it’s the first time he attempts to make connections and understand himself in a way that is narrative and structured and not fragmented bits of history and A names. Part of this requires further dissociation. I definitely get the impression that since Armand is being so vulnerable in a way he is so unused to, yet is so significant, he is unable to register while he’s talking that not only David, but millions of people including every vampire in the world, will know what he says. He’s just laying himself completely bare, he’s talking and talking and only once he finishes realizes oh. Oh. everyone’s going to read this huh. It’s so cathartic he doesn’t consider that in the moment. It’s the first time he’s ever been capable of reckoning with his life in a self reflective way, of looking at it and explaining it and reasoning with it, structuring it in order, not fragments, etc, seeing the cause and the impact and touching on an overall conclusion (tho he never entirely gets there). These baby steps are so difficult for him already, and considering this part of his character I really think it’s a stretch to say that Armand would be capable of the thought process in his book of pure venting to go “maybe I should twist the truth here or change this or add this or lie about this so people will think of me this way or so Lestat can see this, etc” TVA is unreliable, more so bcus of how mentally ill armand is and how little he understands his own life and emotions, but not deliberately like iwtv and tvl. Armand even says that the book was for Benji and Sybelle, but it’s so unfiltered and horrific and vent-like that this sounds ridiculous. He doesn’t even have his stated audience in mind while he’s telling his story, let alone his broader audience. The audience was a complete afterthought, a barely registered consequence. So why would he lie about Claudia? How would he be capable?

it’s another common piece of conversation around this part of TVA where we go, Armand discusses how he never would want to tell this to Louis bcus he knows how badly it would hurt him, so why did he describe it so graphically? Well, cause of all I mentioned. It seems pretty clear to me that armand is almost haunted by the affair with Claudia, and he has no way of lying about this, so his descriptions seemed very much to me like a desperate bit of venting. He has never told anyone how horrific it actually was and it’s always been in his mind, so he just lets it all out. Makes sense, but the broader question is, if Armand wasn’t lying…why did he do that at all?? This I think is so interesting.

To understand this I had to think a lot about Armand’s motivations for killing Claudia at all, which is well, simply, revenge against Lestat and claiming of Louis without barriers. If Claudia dies Lestat will be sad and Louis will be mine and mine alone 👍👍 etc. but Claudia’s mutation was not rooted in either of these motivations, which is part of why it’s so shocking. He didn’t do it to hurt Lestat, lestat never found out. It just seems so odd and unprompted. But once I thought more about why Armand hates Lestat, and why he wants to hurt him by killing Claudia, it started to fit into place. Armand’s hatred for Lestat is rooted very much in his twisted resemblance to Marius that he perceives as being very strong and basically mocking. When he first sees Lestat in tvl he’s repulsed by him instantly bcus he sees him as this parody of Marius, this beautiful blonde man in striking red robes who boldly and carelessly defies the laws of vampires established by the children of Satan as if they are meaningless to him, revels in the indulgent world of humans like he belongs there, shamelessly as armand devotes himself to miserable repression. It strikes a nerve for armand, feels very personally offensive to him, like the embodiment of the traits that got Marius’s destroyed r coming back to mock him in his face. And then as he gets to know Lestat more deeply he only hates him more, bcus Lestat is not only bold and careless, but he’s immature and stupid, and he knows nothing. Armand in his horribly traumatized mind set registers Lestat as “like Marius” and takes this to mean “maybe he can save me, maybe he will teach me and free me from this hell, guide me and give me the purpose I need to be given.” But Lestat does not do this, lmfao. He actually destroys any sense of purpose armand had, rips him from his safety net, and when Armand begs for guidance, asks to be allowed to travel alongside Lestat so he can learn to be a person again, Lestat denies him. The only purpose he bothers to give him is the scraps, symbolic of his perverse indulgence that Armand despises, and fucks off. Lestat is grotesquely reminiscent of Marius, in the worst ways. It’s like his presence alone opens Armand’s eyes to how badly Marius has ruined him. He was the sun, the purpose, the guiding light, and then it was ripped away, and there was nothing else without him. Just a void.

So Armand hates Lestat for this very personal mockery of his own plight, and this hatred spirals into unbridled rage when Lestat returns to him and expects Armand to give Lestat the assistance that he denied him. Not only this, but Lestat found Marius, found marius and was granted guidance and love that Marius refused to give Armand after his indoctrination into the children of Satan. And Marius told Lestat to never ever do what he did, never make an Armand, because Armand was a mistake, he was too young to be a vampire, and now he’s a mistake he will never forgive himself for. And with this immense privilege that Armand spent a huge chunk of his life yearning for, guidance from Marius when he was his most lost, Lestat decides to disregard it. He decides that since Marius said it was bad to turn a child as young as Armand, he’d turn a child even younger then Armand, just cuz. He is once again the embodiment of Marius’s sins, the grotesque parody. Marius turned a teenager, Lestat turns a five year old. It’s almost cruel in how mocking it is, almost intentional in how personal. So Claudia is this child, this deliberate mistake made by someone who knew her turning would be harmful to her but was selfish enough not to care, then went on to regret it when he has to reckon with the consequences. Seem familiar? Armand sure thought so. So I imagine that being alone with Claudia, looking this deeply sad reflection of his own agony in the eyes, knowing she is about to die for justice against a warped parody of his Maker, for the sake of punishment for her own existence, I imagine this struck a cord of insanity in Armand’s fucked up mind, caused him to loose his absolute shit for just long enough to go what if I can fix her, what if I can turn this narrative around, give her the remarkable ending I know deep down that she, I , will never be granted. What if I can give her a body that will reflect her mind? What if I can make this abomination into a miracle? No wonder he pulled out the surgical tools 😭 No wonder he was so horrified by his own actions when he came to his senses, no wonder he refused to share this, kept it to himself for so long, until he finally broke and confessed it all in a desperate moment when he was too caught up in the dam breaking to realize he’d be exposing this horrific action to the world.

Armand sees Claudia as a repulsive mistake that should’ve never existed made by Lestat to deliberately mock him up until the surgery, when then for only a moment lost to time ended in blood she is another child who had her life taken from her too soon by an egotistical blonde man who thought he could play god with someone’s life. “They were done for anyway, he was going to starve to death in a brothel, she was going to die as a street orphan, the blood would be a service to them, a chance they never had” But they both know that’s a lie they tell themselves to justify the act of taking a child and molding it into what they please for fun, for pleasure, for companionship, just to see what would happen. Armand sees this for a moment and wants to give her a chance, give them both a chance, wants to see her as an adult, as someone who could have a life. And then of course, we know how that turns out 😭

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juletheghoul · 1 year

Text

Amarum

A/N: What if Dave was the guy you met at a bar, and what if that guy absolutely rocked your shit? Well, it might go a little something like this. For any of you that have read my work, imagine Dave from Dulcis, only without the toxicity. A well-adjusted, divorced dad, who likes to tell good girls what to do. I am still on my little break, but I wanted to throw this on here and then fuck off into the sunset. Thanks to my girlie-pop @wheresarizona for listening to my ramblings and for beta-ing this. Enjoy xoxo

Dave York x f!Reader

Pairing: David York x F!Reader

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: NSFW 18+ language, Smut, PIV sex (wrap it up), slight dom-Dave, dirty talk, mentions of alcohol, oral (both m & f rec'g), spanking, a thumb in the booty- let me know if I missed any!

Masterlist

There was a pleasant buzz flowing through your veins when the bartender placed a drink you definitely didn’t order on the counter in front of you.

“Sorry! I didn’t order this!” You frowned at him, but he waved away your protest, pointing to a man across the bar.

“Courtesy of the gentleman.” He left you with the drink, moving to serve other patrons.

The man he’d indicated to was watching you with clear interest on his face. He was handsome, very handsome. Clean cut from what you could see, dark hair and dark eyes, well dressed, and just your type. You raised the drink to him in thanks, and he smiled, raising his own in return.

Vodka cranberry, classic.

He held your gaze, his smile widening, his eyes raking over you without shame. He pushed away from his place at the bar, and your heart leapt that he was coming over.

You adjusted your dress as best you could, doing a quick sweep over your general appearance, dress smoothed, hair in place, perfect.

“Hi,” he smiled, coming close enough to be heard over the soundtrack of the bar, his voice deep and lovely in your ear. “I’m David. I noticed you from the other side of the room.” He smelled good enough to make your mouth water.

“Hi David,” you introduced yourself, “You did? And what did you think?”

“Thought it must be my lucky day.” His eyes travelled down the length of you without a single attempt at subtlety.

“Do you still think that? Now that you’re up close?” His watch face flashed for a moment, drawing your attention to his hands. They were big and instantly, you imagined them on your hips, at your throat. You swallowed thickly.

“Well, that depends on whether or not you’re looking for the same thing I’m looking for.” He had caught you staring at his hands and made a show of using them to swirl his drink, to fix the collar at his throat; placing one on the bar just beside where you leaned against it. He moved closer, and your focus shifted to the long line of his throat. “I think you are. I think you might be exactly what I’m looking for.”

Your heart was racing, thumping wildly in your chest that this gorgeous man was showing interest. He pressed a little closer, speaking the words right into your ear.

“I think you want to come home with me.” His thumb made contact with your side, a gentle pass that had heat clawing its way through your veins. Your eyes closed of their own accord, an attempt at keeping your cool despite the buzz, despite your body’s reaction to him.

“You’re quite forward.” You smiled, a little nervous, a little intimidated, but very excited.

“Yes, I don’t like to waste time. I find you very attractive, and I’d like to take you home. I’d very much like to show you a good time.” He tipped back his glass, finishing his drink. You did the same. “If I have read you wrong, I apologize, and I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable.”

“No, no.” You put your hand on his arm, your skin sizzling with the small touch, “You’re good.” You thought about it for a minute, questioning whether this was something you really wanted to do. He smiled, his eyes solely focused on you, and for better or worse, you’d already made up your mind. “I would like to go home with you, David.” Adrenaline raced through your body, chasing some of the buzz away, and when he offered his hand, you took it.

“This place is lovely.” You walk through his airy loft, smiling to yourself because of course he lives in a loft. The ceilings are insanely high, and the whole place has an open, yet homey, lived-in feel. It’s all one giant room, with a staircase leading up to an open second level facing a wall of windows. The gorgeous cityscape laid out before you.

“Thank you, I’m glad you like it.” He sets his sport coat down on an expensive-looking leather chair, “Would you like something to drink?” He gestures towards the minimalist dream that is his kitchen.

“No, thank you, I’m okay for now.” You smile up at him, the nerves in your stomach fluttering wildly. Your eyes continue to take in the space while he makes his way past you.

“Well,” He opens up the fridge, grabbing two bottles of water. “I’m going to bring water for you anyway.” He smiles. “Let me show you the bedroom.”

There’s a slight tremble in your hands as you make your way up the stairs, a clear indication of just how excited you are at the prospect of him getting you naked.

God, I hope he’s a good fuck.

The thought repeats in your head like a mantra, but there’s something about him, an energy he carries that negates any doubt before anything even happens. In truth, you don’t know anything about him. There are little things you can guess–he’s definitely older, for one. Somewhere in his late thirties, early forties.

His bedroom is sparse but neatly organized. Evidence of military experience, maybe?

“Now.” He sets the waters down on one of the nightstands, “Here’s how this is going to go.” He turns to you, his eyes intense, “I’m going to tell you what to do, and you’re going to do it.” He’s moving towards you now, his fingers making quick work of rolling his sleeves up to expose his forearms. “You think you could do that for me?”

“I–yes, I can.” He stands beside you, his body a hair's breadth away.

“I knew you would. I knew you’d be on your best behaviour for me.” His fingers come up, skimming across the expanse of your collarbone, sending a shiver down your spine. “Before we get to all the fun I have planned… I would like to check in. I want you to enjoy this, so I’ll set a few guidelines.” He presses a kiss to your shoulder, and it makes your stomach flutter. “For your comfort, we’ll use the traffic light system. Green means all good, continue–yellow means slow down, and red is a full stop.” He pulls the strap of your dress to the side and places another kiss to your heated skin. “How does that sound?”

You nod at him.

“I need vocal, enthusiastic consent, honey.”

“Yes, yes. I want this.” You turn to him, sliding your hands up to rest on his ribs.

“That’s what I like to hear. Final item, I have been tested and have a clean bill of health. How about you?” His hands caress your arms, almost distracting you from his words.

“Clean. I was tested a few months ago, haven’t been with anyone since then. I’m also on birth control.”

“Lovely, I’m looking forward to filling you to the brim.” He presses a little closer, his finger tilting your chin up, bringing your mouth to his in a soft, surprisingly tender kiss. His lips are plush, pressing against yours while his hand moves from your chin to curl around the column of your neck.

It’s soft, gentle, until it isn’t.

He licks into your mouth, pulling threads of arousal out to pool in your panties. He pushes everything but him out of your mind before giving you a final kiss, rewarding you with a groan, and then pulling away. Your mouth chases his, almost making you stumble, but he holds you in place.

“I want you to sit at the edge of the bed.”

You obey, the nerves replaced with pure arousal and a curious need to make him happy.

“Lovely.” He stands over you, his thumb pressing against your lower lip, “Hands behind your back, please, baby. You’re going to keep them there, is that understood?”

“Yes, sir.” The words come out unbidden, but he smiles a gorgeous smile, and something inside of you preens.

“That’s my good girl. Keep them there.” His hands go to his belt, and you can almost feel your eyes dilating with excitement. The clink of the belt, the sound of his zipper, best of all, the sight of him hard and thick in front of your face makes your heart race. It makes your mouth water.

“What colour are we at?” His cock bobs in front of him, angry red and weeping, but his thumb at your lip is feather soft.

“Bright green, I want it.” You give him your most seductive look before opening your mouth.

“You’re being so good for me,” he gives his cock a few slow strokes, using his own arousal before moving towards your mouth once more. “Stick out your tongue for me, sweetheart. That's it.” You comply with gusto, sticking your tongue out for him. His big hand holds the hinge of your jaw, fingers pressing gently into the heated skin of your face. Your arousal is something huge, something with claws and teeth and a feral edge—it holds you tight enough to hurt, makes you ache for him. “That’s my pretty girl.” He guides the tip of his cock into your mouth, sliding it against your tongue.

Every instinct, every desire in your body begs to act. It compels you to hold his hips, to suck at the fat head of him, to swallow his dick down and make him come so hard he babbles, but you hold still, let the sweat bead at your temples. Obey.

He has a mischievous smile on his face, enjoying the conflict evident on your face.

“I am very proud of how good you’re being for me, holding your hands where I told you to, opening up that pretty mouth for me.” He slides in a little further, pressing the tip to the back of your throat with each shallow thrust of his hips. “See how hard you made me?” He taps his cock against your tongue a couple of times before pulling out of your mouth completely. “Colour?”

“Green.” You moan the word, and he smiles. He leans towards you and gifts you with another toe-curling kiss, his tongue obscene while his hands pull down the straps of your dress, your bra as well to expose your tits.

“That’s better.” He moves back into position, and you hurry to stick out your tongue again, “Close your lips around me; I’m going to fuck that pretty face.” You let out a moan, pressing your thighs together to ease the aching emptiness of your arousal, “Sit still.” You let out a breath and do as he says.

The sounds don’t help. They only make it harder to sit still.

He makes you gag on his cock, makes you feel dirty with how he’s using your mouth, how your spit drips down onto your tits, how your eyes water. He makes you feel divine with how wrecked he looks towering above you, how reverently his hands hold onto your face.

“God, I could just come down your fucking throat, baby.” He pulls out and lets you catch your breath, his voice sinful.

You wait for instructions. You know you must look a mess, but you don’t care. The thing inside you is too happy; the bruising grip of arousal is too strong.

“Good girls get rewarded, and you, baby, have been a very good girl for me. How are we on colour?” He moves to take his shirt off, tossing it into a hamper, watching you as he takes everything off.

“Bright green, but-“You take a deep breath, and he pauses.

“Tell me,” instantly, there’s a shift from confident and commanding to genuine concern. “Too much?”

“No, no, it’s really good, I could suck your dick all night, but I am so fucking wet, I need something.” You pout at him, and he smiles, the so-far benevolent authority back in place.

“How wet?” He’s fully naked now, and your heart races, your cunt itching to be filled by him.

“So fucking wet, David, I’m dying—“ His hand holds your throat, and you whimper.

“Aw, my poor little thing, come, let’s get you out of these clothes.” You let him pull you up from the bed, and within moments, you’re just as naked as him. His mouth fuses to yours, hard, all teeth and tongues, as you both fall onto his bed, a frantic shuffle to move up and align yourselves.

“Fuck me, please.” You grip his hair, sliding your legs high onto his hips.

“Good manners, but no. I’m going to do something else first.” You almost complain, but his mouth moves down and latches onto a nipple, and then all the words float out of your brain. First, one, then the other before he moves lower still, and all of a sudden, your legs are open wide from the breadth of his shoulders, and he’s staring at your pussy like it’s the gates of heaven.

“Good god, it’s so fucking pretty.” He spreads you open with one hand, exposing the plump pearl of your pleasure.

He spits on it, and you feel the warmth of it slip down towards your entrance, but it never makes it; he dives in, and your heart races.

His tongue is a holy thing, and its pilgrimage across your sex is nothing short of sacred. The grip of arousal tightens further, and with his tongue honing in on the center of your universe, your orgasm is shockingly close. He must feel the muscles in your stomach contract under his arm because he pulls away. His eyebrows raise at the strangled whine you let out, a low laugh from somewhere in his throat at the way your hips chase his mouth.

“I never said you could come.” He presses an open-mouthed kiss to your engorged little clit. “You’ve been so fucking good for me. You aren’t going to start misbehaving now, are you?” He kisses it again, his bottom lip gliding against it just right. Tears slip out, unbidden. “Colour?” His hand smooths over the silky skin of your inner thighs, calming the slight tremble in them.

“Green, please, Sir, please—I need to come. I wanna come so bad. Your tongue feels so fucking good.” You aren’t above begging, and something passes over his face, something inside him being fed by you, something that is languishing in your desperation for him.

“No.”

He presses his tongue to your pussy again, broad licks from your dripping entrance up to circle around your sensitive clit. You let out a pitiful whine, squeezing your eyes together to try—really try to focus on something other than the mounting pleasure blooming between your thighs.

“Yellow, yellow!” You scream out the word, letting out a shaky breath when he pulls away from where you pulse under his tongue.

“Good girl, thank you for warning me. How close are you?” He presses kisses to your inner thigh, seemingly content to take all the time in the world while you hang on by a fucking thread.

“It’s right there, so close.” You whine, every muscle in your body pulled taut.

“Okay baby, when you can, on your knees.” He taps your thigh lightly before pressing a kiss to your mound.

You take a few long breaths to steady yourself, clear your mind, and let the orgasm slip away before getting into position. It’s hard to concentrate on anything but how charged your whole body is, and when your nipples graze against the silky fabric of his bedspread, it sends a shiver down your spine.

He wastes no time; his big hands land heavy on your hips, pulling you toward his hips, letting you feel the way his cock slips and slides between your legs.

“You ready to take me, honey? Ready for me to stretch your tight little pussy on my cock?” His hands spread you open, and you know he’s staring at where your bodies meet, his thumb dipping into your dripping entrance. He lands a solid crack on your ass, and you jolt.

“Answer me.” His hand smooths the sting away, and you gulp down your excitement.

“Yes, sir.”

“That’s better.” He glides the tip of his cock against your clit for a moment before slipping inside, the sheer size of him pulls a moan from somewhere in your throat. “So fucking wet for me huh, baby, you needed this cock didn’t you?” He fucks you slow, too slow.

“Yes, god yes, more, please.” The sheets near your face dampen with your words, and with your breath, your arms stretch out in front of you, clutching wildly at the sheets. He tuts when you start to push back and fuck yourself harder. Another solid crack sounds through the room, the sting of the spank only heightens your arousal.

“None of that. You’ll take it how I want to give it.” He holds you in place, letting you feel him deep.

You whine. He laughs.

“What’s wrong, baby?” His hands spread you open wider, “You don’t wanna be good for me anymore?” He lands another crack, and more tears slip down your face. “I’m speaking to you. Answer me.”

“David, please.” A sob claws its way out of your mouth. “Please let me come.”

“Colour?”

“Green, but please, I am begging, please sir.” You know in your heart that the game would end if you said yellow or even red. You know it in your gut, but this is the most aroused you’ve ever been in your life. The feeling of him controlling you, of him withholding your orgasm, has you delirious with excitement, and despite the desperation, you want to be good for him.

He starts to move, shallow at first, but he picks up the pace, and soon the wet sounds of his thrusts echo through the apartment. Until he stops again, and you whine pitifully.

His hand moves, and you feel it swipe the arousal upwards from the stretched mouth of your cunt, up towards your asshole, where something wet and warm has landed, and you know it’s his spit again. Your stomach leapt, a dark thrill running through you like a lightning strike.

“Oh god, green,” the moan you let out was obscene, your body a livewire at the way he circles your back door.

“My dirty girl likes that, huh?” He speeds back up, and with a wet press, he breaches the tight ring of muscle, and your world implodes. The orgasm burns through you, your stomach clenching, your cunt fluttering around his cock, your asshole pulsing around his thumb.

He fucks you through it, his thumb in place, his cock a battering ram against your womb, and when you scream in ecstasy, he pulls away.

“Bad girl, I never gave you permission—“ Your body is jelly in his hands, “Now you’re going to get fucked like a bad girl.” He manoeuvres you onto your back, a pillow shoved under your hips and within a minute he’s slipping back inside you. He fucks the thoughts right out of your head, not bothering to wait until you’ve caught your breath. “Now you’re going to take what I give you.” He’s breathing hard, his cock punching into you over and over, one of his hands holding both of yours above your head, the other wrapped around your throat.

Your mind blanks with every thrust, tears slip out, and into your temples in your altered state of euphoria; you might actually be drooling.

He presses his forehead to yours, panting into your mouth for a handful of thrusts before he grinds himself deep.

He shoves his face into the crook of your neck, his hips grinding through the oversensitivity, babbling incoherent words into your ear. Well, they might be incoherent. Or you might have come so hard that you’ve gone deaf. Who knows.

“—pussy milked me dry.” His face is red with his exertion, sweat beading at his temples, a gorgeous flush crawling up his neck.

“Hmm?” You’re in a daze, your body an untethered thing.

“I said—“ he smiles, “Your pussy milked me dry. I almost don’t want to pull out. I want to stay here all night.” He leans in to kiss, and you whimper into his mouth. Relishing how soft it is after—well, that.

“Sounds nice.” Your voice is hoarse, and exhaustion hits you lightning-quick.

“Stay there.” He pulls out with a hiss and moves towards his en suite. You’re not even sure you respond. Your eyes close for a moment, and then something wonderfully cool wipes at the mess between your legs. “Come on, up for a minute, honey.” He pulls you up gently. “Need you to drink some water.” He’s wearing a pair of grey sweats when you sit up, and he presses the bottle to your mouth, gulping it down eagerly. “Drink it all, please, then you can go to the bathroom, and we can cuddle.”

You do as he says, chug the water, head to the bathroom, and take care of your business. Finally rinsing the makeup and tears and spit from off your face before heading back into the now blessedly dark bedroom. He opens the covers for you, and you slip in, craving intimacy but falling asleep as soon as your head hits the wall of his chest.

You wake to the sound of rain, heavy sheets of it. Lightning strikes, filling the room with a flash of white light, and then the boom comes, and you stretch within the warm comfort of David’s bed. When you turn, he yawns.

“Rain woke me up too.” His voice is soft, sleep ridden. “How did you sleep?” He turns to look at his clock, and it draws your attention. Not yet six am.

“Slept like a rock. I think you fucked me into a coma.” He laughs at this, full throated, and the sound makes you feel warm.

“Come-“ He opens his arms, and you shuffle into them quickly, sighing contentedly into the warmth of his chest. “I want to check in again. What did you like? Any room for improvement on my end?” His hand swept over your back, a soothing stroke from the back of your neck down to your ass and back again.

“No notes, really, it was really good. I don’t think anyone’s ever made me cry with their dick before, in a good way.” You lift your head a little and snuggle into the crook of his neck. “You tease a lot, but I enjoyed it.” He chuckles.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it. What about after? Anything I could have done better?”

“Nope, I think I passed out, but good call on the water.” You press a kiss to his neck. “Tell me about yourself.”

“Well, I work for the government. I’m divorced, I have two beautiful daughters who I see every other week, and I have a friendly relationship with my ex wife. My parents are retired, and I have no siblings.” He presses a kiss to your forehead. “What about you?”

You tell him about yourself, your work, your family, the important beats of your life, and he listens intently. Eventually though you just get a little antsy, your legs restless while you press yourself closer.

“You need closeness now, hm?” He turns onto his side to face you, “Feeling a little needy?” It isn't asked unkindly. You nod into his shoulder.

“I got you, honey. You did really good for me; made me feel amazing.” He pulls your face up towards his for a kiss, a soft, languid thing that makes you whimper into his mouth. “You’re so warm and soft,” another kiss. “And I don’t ever want you to leave this bed.”

Your hands rub at his back, they pull him closer, needing to feel all of him, and he lets you, continuing to stroke any and all skin available to him. Content to hold you close in the rainy glow of early dawn until exhaustion pulls you down again into the warmth of sleep.

------

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#dave x reader #dave york #pedro pascal characters #equalizer 2 #david york #david york x reader #dave york x female reader #dave york x you #dave york x reader #pedro pascal #equalizer 2 fanfic

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apostatehamster · 6 months

Text

Oh no! Another person's 2 cents on the OFMD finale situation!

Yes, because unfortunately my mind still hasn't settled and is in a state of disbelief over what happened, and I am trying to unravel all of this to make sense of it. Written from the perspective of a sad Izzy fan, so if you do not care to read about that or are simply tired of reading these mind pieces... well don't. And do not bother interacting.

I want to preface this by saying, I do believe Writers should be writing the story they think is right. It is impossible to please everyone so I prefer Author's sticking to their vision rather than bending to the loudest (in most cases, read: displeased) voices of the audience. However, I also think people are entitled to voice their displeasure over writing decisions in a constructive way. I don't condone hate towards authors, actors or anyone involved in the making of the show and if you feel angry enough to send hate or threats, take a walk and calm down instead of being a jerk. That being said, I watched many shows with decisions I did not agree on and few made me as angry & sad as this one, hence me trying to dismantle why.

False marketing, expectations and broken promises

Frankly I hadn't seen much advertising about the show before, most of it was fandom activity that praised the show as feelgood and comfort, with good queer representation. I got into it pretty late, so I can't tell what the show itself presented itself as, but to me it seemed like they fully embraced that image and encouraged the show to be perceived as such. It's a rom-com after all, many laughters and sappy feelings. A safe space-ship for outcasts, so to speak. We expected drama but also making-up and possibly more shenanigans. What we did not expect, was a rather prominently featured character dying as one got used to happening from other shows.

OFMD promised to be different, or at least that was my and many others' impression, and then it turned that around in the last 10 minutes of the finale. But more about that and tonal shifts later.

What baffled me most were the interviews hailing in at the start of season two. I've read articles about how season 2 was leaning into the Ed/Izzy/Stede triangle with David Jenkins saying these three "are on an arc together that’s pretty inseparable". I mean we had Izzy being called a jilted lover before, and in addition to Ed & Stede's love declaration, we also had Izzy declare he had love for Ed, and Ed as well saying He loved him, best he could. There was a lot of love, but it was complicated, and the article gave hope that this season would sort this out.

But after the finale, we got interviews that declared Izzy was a father/mentor figure to Ed, which is such a weird claim that is absolutely unfounded in the way the characters interacted with each other, as well as the fact that Izzy's death apparently was something planned from the beginning as an ending to his arc. And well, I find that death separates characters quite definitely.

I am not saying that Steddyhands was promised to us, gods no, but we were definitely given a chance at it happening, when in fact, the ending had already been written as the complete opposite.

Reception and cognitive dissonance

Every person is different and thus has different feelings and opinions. I've seen Izzy fans hating the finale obviously, I've seen Izzy fans who said they liked it. I've also seen people who weren't explicitly Izzy fans say, they did not like the finale, so really, opinions can go any way.

However what baffled me is Jenkins feeling he delivered a truly happy end. Personally, I've never watched a character die and thought "This makes me happy." I especially would never describe a character struggling through hardship, just to ultimately die as happy or beautiful. I can only imagine that the focus was on Ed and Stede, when a happy ending was mentioned, but Jenkins kept pointing out in the interviews, how Izzy was his favorite, which gave hope for a happy ending for Izzy as well. As much as I enjoy seeing my favorites go through hardships, I also prefer to keep them around by not dying. I especially do not build my favorite up to be a well fleshed out character with growth, just to reduce them back to a plot device for the main character.

I know this is all based upon the interviews, and less on the show, but when I read "And what's the most interesting thing we can do with Con[...]?" my answer definitely wouldn't have been "kill his character off". Con O'Neill does a great job at playing emotional scenes, but we already had him act his heart out in the first three episodes. A last hurrah wasn't needed.

I am also trying to put myself in David Jenkins' shoes here, because I think he truly expected the last episode to be a happy ending, and a gift, just to be proven differently. I just wonder what went wrong, how one can read the room so completely wrong.

It wasn't malicious, but the fact that it was apparently meant to be a genuine attempt at offering a happy end makes it even worse.

Tonal shifts and established in-Show laws

It's an understatement to say that the tone of season 2 was decidedly more dramatic. To the point where I questioned myself if this was still allowed to be called a comedy show. I would have described season 1 as mostly slice-of-life, little adventures between the crew and the captains. People got hanged, fingers severed, people got stabbed, but you never felt the threat of actual death hanging over anyone's head, because everything was kept humorous. (Speaking of the non-baddies here. Calico Jack got a cannon ball to the head but with plausible deniability of his death & (apparently) an interview saying he could be brought back, if needed)

Enter season 2, which starts off with murder attempts, major wounds and a suicide attempt. Nothing was played off as a joke, and for that I am grateful because that would have been in poor taste, but the tone was noticeably different and darker. But it still wasn't 'realistic' by any standard. With no real doctor on board, Izzy should have died from his wounds and comatose Edward would have wasted away in the hidden cabin. Everyone came out (fucked up but) relatively fine.

The show goes back to the humorous tone with Anne & Mary who enjoy a good backstabbing and poisoning. We had our crew surrounded by death and a curse in the next episode, but there was any fear of them coming to harm, obviously. The crew gets boarded and tortured by Ned and his crew after that, but they are able to take it out and come away unscathed (some wounds aside). Oh no! Stede challenges Zheng Yi to a duel! Which we know means no one is allowed to interfere, until one of the duelants dies. But it's fine, Zheng Yi is just playing with her food. But watch out, a Cannonball flies towards Zheng Yi's head! Ah but she is fine, she escaped. The Swede pulled a Rasputin and got immune to poison without him even noticing! Look, even Auntie survived the explosion, badly wounded but she lives. Oh no! Izzy gets shot! But it's his left side, we established no vital organs are there. Roach and Stede are already on their way to get bandage- Wait they are back with no bandages, and Izzy he-

Oh, wait. He...died?

When watching season 2 I legitimately considered Izzy dying as an end result, because I am used to my favorite characters dying, frankly. But then I dismissed that thought because OFMD has proven again and again, that people do not die. Heck, Lucius was considered dead in the season 1 finale and he came back, albeit traumatized. But he lived to tell the tale.

Season 2 finale made it a point to leave no room for doubt that Izzy did indeed die. They dug him a grave, and they panned to his grave at the end to remind you, he is definitely dead. So, why did Izzy have to die in a world where our favorites can survive about anything? "Pirates die, that's just pirate life", okay but why was he specifically singled out to be the only pirate dying? In comparison to everyone else, it feels unjust, and it feels cruel towards the fans who felt safe in the knowledge that this was the one show where none of their favorites would die. And it feels like such a betrayal of the fans’ trust, who had hoped this show would do better.

I've seen a take along the lines of "Nowadays people expect the stories to be written explicitly for them, and then they get upset when it doesn't happen" and that take pissed me off enough to write this down. This isn't a case of entitled fans asking to change the story to be exactly what they want to be, there is fanfiction for that. No, this is fans upset that their favorite character got singled out by the narrative to be the one exception to the no dying rule. And I use the narrative loosely, because there was no ramification to the death that couldn't also have been established by the character staying alive and giving advice, so the death didn't even feel purposeful. And for a show that always stresses the "Talk it through as a crew" point, they did not care much for choosing talking it through as a solution.

I also heartily disagree that Izzy's arc was over and had no more stories to tell. I mean the guy followed Edward around for decades, I would have loved to hear more about their past.

I would have especially loved to hear more about their future, as two people who learned to let go of Blackbeard and became their own people again. Where exactly did the idea of that even come from, I don't know.

Pacing and Confusing decisions in the Final episode and the build-up into nothing

(Rambling alert!)

Personally I didn't feel any pacing issues until episode 6. While I generally liked the episode, it felt crammed with both set-up of the baddie, fun-times, then appearance of baddie (and disappearance) and return to fun-times. The episode ended and I was literally perplexed that it was over, like we basically ran through that episode. But episode 8 took the cake.

Now I am well aware they had to cut corners, and the strike didn't make it easier either, and I wish we could have seen the result without these factors. But we got what we got now, and I have to judge based upon that, but I really would know how the final cut decision came to be.

I did like the beginning with Ed chilling as a fisherman, but in hindsight I wished they had cut that part a bit shorter to give more room for the final parts. We get a lot of Ricky dicking around the pirate republic, showing Jackie reluctantly bringing them drinks. Later on she finally decides to poison him. Why she didn't do so earlier, I have no idea, unless the show is trying to tell me The Swede had to build up enough poison tolerance within one episode to withstand the poison attempt, which would be ridiculous. Why the Swede was held as an emotional hostage, I don't know either. I don't want him dead but Jackie has many other husbands, the Swede being singled out was more to hurt the viewers than for Jackie imho.

We have Zheng Yi suffering through Stede's presence. Our queen is suffering through the loss of her whole crew and her aunt, while Stede unsympathetically offers that being a failure gets easier. I expected more compassion from a guy who treasures his own crew and also enjoyed the hospitality of Zheng Yi's ship, but okay. Being a dick for the sake of comedy, I suppose. "Thing's have a way of working out. At least for me" And Zheng Yi proves Stede right by killing the soldiers, and Stede claims that went just as planned. I am not sure what happened to the Stede who successfully avoided being backstabbed in episode 5 and defended his crew in episode 6 and actually seemed competent, just to go back to an ignorant fool, but hm.

Fisherman Ed returns, thinks Stede in danger, and recovers his leathers that somehow are still in the same place, after mindlessly killing everyone in his way. Whatever happened to not wanting to be a monster and not killing and running away from that, it doesn't matter anymore. The flashback of pop-pop tells him he needs to go back to what he is good at, and I guess... this is it??? The Kraken rises from the sea again. Will there be consequences for Ed's emotional state after that? Well, no. Not really. Or not in this season anyway.

Okay Ricky invites Izzy to a drink, he's quite obviously a Izzy fanboy. For what reason he took him out of prison, I don't know. He later says "Sad, I wanted to let you live", implying he had plans for Izzy. What those plans were, we will never know, Ricky never tells us. Izzy talks about what piracy means to him. "It's not about getting what you want" and I don't know if he means pirates generally robbing ships to get treasure, or of himself being perceived as a mastermind or being a captain, because he never inclined he wanted either. So, what a weird thing for him to say. "It's about belonging to something when the world has told you, you're nothing" is a beautiful line that makes me wish we had gotten at least some backstory to Izzy. Then we're shown a picture of the crew from season 1.... with Izzy in the background, quite obviously not belonging (yet). What an odd choice to cut into. You could have used something from season 2 that showed him actually belonging

Ed finds one of Stede's love letters, it's cute, but I am not sure why we needed that to somehow reinforce that Ed loves him. We already saw him worry for Stede and literally revert to his Blackbeard persona to set out and save him. He also didn't leave because he didn't love Stede or doubted Stede's love for Ed, but because he needed to find himself first to make it work. It's not a long scene but it took a bit of the momentum of the Kraken rising from the water from me.

Ed and Stede see each other again and we have a callback to the episode one opener. Which was also the moment where I slowly realized, death was in the cards for Izzy because that dream sequence meant his death. But no, this is OFMD, it'll be fine...

We're back in the cell, and our mates are trying to escape. Auntie is there! Very much alive, despite having been on an exploding ship. Who brought her there?? When was she brought there?? How long has she been there and why did no one bother to check the cloaked figure in the corner? NEVERMIND, Auntie is here and alive I suppose. Bleeding out and we've got no supplies to treat her, but she will walk it off just fine.

Captain trio congratulate themselves on beating a bunch of soldiers. Honestly impressive, outnumbered as they were. Mh, maybe they should get back to the crew tho...?

Auntie realizing she was harsh on Zheng Yi and admitting maybe she needs a different approach. I am seeing a parallel to Izzy later admitting his approach was wrong too. Except (and excuse the bitterness) Auntie gets to continue to "mentor" Zheng Yi.

We get a weird hard cut from "I don't do soft" to the talk between Izzy and Ricky. I really thought the talk had been talked, but some more insults get thrown at Ricky, and the deus ex machina happens as all prisoners are freed from prison, the captain trio arrives and all soldiers die of poisoning. Personally this was the moment where I had to slow blink in disbelief, because everything was happening so fast.

Stede talks about how they need a plan, and how a royal hostage could prove valuable. Another hard cut "SO, that's the plan". We do not hear the plan. We just gather from the following montage that it has to do with dressing up as English soldiers. We get a montage of everyone preparing for battle and dressing up, looking cool in slow motion. And, they did look hella cool, but there was so much buildup for them dressing up for the plan...without knowing what the plan even IS.

And then the plan apparently is.... just Izzy holding Ricky hostage? And the rest waits around and sees how it plays out? And they're just trusting Ricky to go along with their plan and say what they want him to say? Why was Izzy the one who had to hold Ricky hostage? The one person with a visible wooden leg? Not sure if peg-legs are an established pirate thing in this world, but the British seem to think so, because they look down at it. Why did no one check that Ricky had no weapons on him beforehand? And most importantly, where the fuck was Stede during this suicide plan? He is the one who planned it, yet he was nowhere around the group with Ricky, nor did he fight any Soldiers. He only reappears when everyone is running away. What the hell!! Where'd he fuck off to. Again, all this epic plan build up, for the barely existing plan to go up in shambles within 5 seconds, and then they all run. At this point they could have just left Ricky at the Inn and attempted to walk to the ship safely in disguise without ever drawing attention to the soldiers, and they would have had as much chance.

Ed asks Izzy if he is okay and I raise an eyebrow, A) because we as the viewers barely saw him get hit and B) Ed hasn't cared much about Izzy after Stede returns. But okay, we're stumbling back to the ship, surprisingly no one else gets shot.

Izzy is bleeding out on the ship, Stede and Roach run off to get bandages. "Bonnet is in charge, oh great I am fucked" is a true statement, considering Stede was in charge with the plan already and got Izzy to here. Later you hear footsteps approaching offscreen, which I guess were Stede and Roach. They just appear again, with no bandages and no comment. I don't want to get into detail how much I despise Izzy's parting words, and the message they send out, but Izzy throughout this season proved he wanted to live and got ready for living again, just to end up saying he wants to go here, and it's just so utterly wrong. This scene was presented as someone who was healed and now got to die amongst his loved ones, but he was not healed. He practically still believed he deserved what he got, and he died believing Ed did not need him and thus he was unnecessary. If he truly was healed, he would fight to live, if not for himself and his new found family, then for Ed who he still loves, but no. Okay maybe I did want to go into detail, but anyway, many have said it better than me already.

The crew who bonded with Izzy over the whole season stands mutely in the background, leaving the stage to Ed, who has barely cared about Izzy all season. Out of nothing I am supposed to believe Izzy means something to him, after Ed shot him down, discarded of him, happily mentioned to Frenchie that "But most importantly, no more Izzy" like Izzy had been the bane of his existence, the guy he didn't even have the balls to approach first to apologize but instead mocked Izzy when Izzy himself finally broke their silence, I am supposed to believe that Edward suddenly realizes Izzy's worth and that he deserves to be the one grieving, not leaving any space to the crew? I don't think so.

All season I was waiting for them to make up again, patiently, full of hope, but the remaining episodes got less and less. And I held out hope for them to bond over talks and teamwork, remembering how well they worked together before it turned sour, acknowledging that they could do better if they tried, but instead we got this. This is supposed to help Edward move on as Not Blackbeard, but Izzy had already encouraged Ed to not be Blackbeard, yet Ed came back deciding on his own to don his leather outfit again. This is such a back and forth, it's frustrating. They could have accomplished growth without a death, but I've already talked about that.

Also Izzy telling Ed has family now, because the crew loves him. Ed bonded exactly with one person outside of Stede, and that was Fang, who was once Blackbeard's crew anyway. Other than that Ed only hung back and did not give a shit about what the crew was doing, but sure they love him after the non-pology. Where were the scenes to back this claim up, it was utter nonsense.

Okay, we get a burial. No one says a thing, no one's got to say a thing about their unicorn. Everyone leaves, and "That's that then". Stede talks about Izzy, like he hasn't personally bonded with Izzy over the last episodes and like he was simply a guy Ed dragged along (the way season 1 Stede would have felt). Also, no acknowledgement that Stede's plan was what got Izzy killed whatsoever, no remorse.

Aye no time to be sad, we got a wedding now! It lasts less than a minute screen time, and I am still recovering from the emotional impact of a death scene + burial, maybe give me a minute so I can feel happy for LuPete? No? okay.

Stede and Ed decide to build an Inn, nothing either of them has experience in. Also the "family" Izzy promised Ed is sailing away, so that was for nothing as well. What happened to Stede wanting to be a pirate? What happened to Ed returning to being a pirate, because it's what he's good at? What exactly made them change opinions to leave their crew behind and start this? *lame hand gesture at Izzy's grave* This?? I am usually good at looking for clues and details and figuring stuff out in between the lines, but I am left clueless as to what inspired this.

I am 100% sure there were missing scenes that could have helped soften the blow of the death at least, but like this the episode feels jarringly badly patched together. There is no visible impact to the death that would explain the necessity to the narrative (and yes, we are in a story, not real life. Plot points happen because they bring the narrative along, and it didn't here) With everything established beforehand, it felt like the death got shoehorned in, simply because someone said "I want this character to be dead at the end of the season", and then a story was somehow built around this.

And of course people are upset about this, when I watched I thought it was a joke and I was waiting for the little wink telling me it's not what it seems. The theme I gathered from this season was "belonging", and to see the guy accepting that he belonged and deserved to be loved to be left behind and denied a chance to continue with the crew where he BELONGS, because he's dead and gone, is a very stupid choice.

The season had many unexplained and unresolved things that I chose to overlook because the show was still ongoing and I had hoped they would all work out in the end, but they didn't and this sours the whole experience.

Fandom

This has less to do with me unraveling the happenings of the show, but whatever.

I joined very late, a few weeks before season 2 aired. I was however vaguely aware that Izzy was controversial to the fandom and that fans got hate mail for liking the character who "broke the main couple apart". So going into the new season as someone who utterly loved Izzy in season 1, I was skeptical lol

But it was a nice experience. Season 2 showed parts of Izzy that I had already seen but in a way that made it clear to everyone that this guy has Emotional Layers TM and is capable of more than just being the guy throwing a hissy fit. Everyone could sympathize with him, people enjoyed seeing him, and I legit loved going through the tags of the gifsets and reading all the reactions.

Generally I loved seeing the reactions after every new episode, seeing how fandom came together to talk over what happened, and over what they enjoyed. I had expected a very split fandom but it seemed season 2 was somewhat gluing it together. Izzy was finally an "accepted" character and thus it was "okay" now to love him, now that he wasn't trying to break Ed/Stede apart either. The show was feeding fans too, I felt like I feasted every episode up until the finale happened.

And /then/ the finale happened and the illusion went away.

Up to then I thought this was a season for the Izzy fans, with the opener episode showing how ridiculous the take of "Izzy has to die for Ed/Stede to be happy" was in a mocking dream episode, I thought that was David Jenkins acknowledging the hate that has been sent in the direction of Izzy & his fans, and how it's Not That Easy. And then he proved Izzy was more than that.

And then he killed Izzy off, so Ed/Stede could be happy and we've come full circle again.

Of course Izzy fans were upset, because it felt like a final fuck you after a season full of promises that it would be okay, and of course people were voicing their displeasure and sadness over it. Some people were downright grieving the character, and I can tell you I Am People. I went through the 5 stages of grief, through bargaining and anger directly after the finale, sadness the whole day after, crying over it because it felt so unjust to me. And maybe these reactions seem extreme to you, but that does not mean that people aren't feeling awful about the finale, that it truly hurt them. And you do not get to mock people for feeling in pain. What do you gain from that? If you liked the finale, fine, everyone is different, but allow the people who were shaken by it to express their emotions. Processing emotions takes time, and as a part of this I wrote a goddamn essay to make peace. The least you could do is not be a dick.

Parting thoughts are that the final episode was both a product of unfortunate cuts in screen time, and a writer who didn't expect the effect it would have on the audience.

I am not hating on David Jenkins, I loved every other episode of the season and eagerly anticipated the next one, but I am so incredibly sad that one botched finale broke my trust into the show, soured my love for the previous episodes with the knowledge of what it all built up to, and left the fandom back in shambles.

So long, and be kind to each other.

#ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 spoilers #izzy hands #ofmd meta #That was the longest I've ever typed. But also at least I feel more content now #You actually do have my respect if you went through this #and to everyone still struggling with sadness: i feel you #ofmd critical

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 9 months

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what meaningful plenaration does "sane" add to "safe sane and consensual"? safe and consensual are both pretty intuitive as to what is and isn't and why they're important, but what is the aspect of this nebulous hypothetical insane sex (this would work better as a phrase if insane sex wasn't already a thing people said about good sex. much to think about) which is uniquely best to avoid but not already covered by safe or consensual?

i've been thinking about that one thing i saw a while ago about reevaluating ssc in the face of increased awareness of like, mad liberation and the ways that mentally disabled people are barred from sexual agency by ableism & the psych system and i genuinely can't come up with a reason why sane was in there in the first place

great question! let's talk about it!

but first: hey. what on earth does plenaration mean. I absolutely understand the question that you're asking but I don't know that word (unusual for me, if I may flex a little!) and google is giving me NOTHING.

anyway, moving on!

SSC was initially popularized by in 1983 by the New York group Gay Male S/M [Sadism/Masochism] Activists, and particularly activist David Stein. let's take a look at their full statement:

GMSMA is a not-for-profit organization of gay males in the New York City area who are seriously interested in safe, sane, and consensual S/M. Our purpose is to help create a more supportive S/M community for gay males, whether they desire a total lifestyle or an occasional adventure, whether they are just coming out into S/M or are long experienced. Our regular meetings and other activities attempt to build a sense of community by exploring common feelings and concerns. We aim to raise awareness about issues of safety and responsibility, to recover elements of our tradition, and to disseminate the best available medical and technical information about S/M practices. We seek to establish a recognized political presence in the wider gay community in order to combat the prevailing stereotypes and misconceptions about S/M while working with others for the common goals of gay liberation. (x)

GMSMA was founded three years prior in 1981, which is only important because that was also the year the first AIDS patients were identified. I don't know if you're familiar with a little thing called The AIDS Crisis, but suffice to say that during the 80s the public perception of gay male sexuality Was Not Good, particularly something double deviant like sex that was gay and also kinky. in a later essay reflecting on (and criticizing!) the mainstreaming of the term, Stein said he wanted to SSC framework to distinguish mutually consensual sadomasochism from "the criminally abusive or neurotically self-destructive behaviour popularly associated with the term 'sadomasochism'."

in other words: while I can't tell you everything that lay in the heart of David Stein when he first used the phrase, it's very clear that the GMSMA seemed invested in improving the public image of kink by separating it as much as possible from the notion that it was something only practiced by crazed degenerates - you know, something queer people have been forced to do for pretty much all queer sex throughout history? in the same 2000 essay linked above, Stein reflects on how many people took SSC as "a welcome validation for a type of sexuality still considered "sick" or "crazy" by much of our society."

is there still ableism baked into that narrative re: the notion that mental illness is a bad thing to be affiliated with? yeah, absolutely, and we'll get to that! spoilers: it's been a source of much criticism, which is why many people now prefer RACK over SSC. but give me a second to get there!

in the essay I've been pulling from, Stein freely admits that GMSMA never attempted to offer concrete definitions of SSC, particularly not the latter two: "We left "sane" and "consensual" much vaguer, "sane" because it's pretty vague to begin with once you get past the obvious meaning - able to distinguish fantasy from reality - and "consensual" because we didn't realize how tricky it is."

the idea of "sane" meaning a person is meaningfully able to distinguish fantasy from reality was echoed by Gil Kessler, a longtime kink educator and board member of GMSMA. rope enthusiast Tammad Rimilia defined it differently, saying that sane kink referred to a situation where "all parties are engaging in this activity by direct intention and can judge the effects of their actions." you can see that echoed in Stein's earlier statement about differentiating the kind of sex that GMSMA encouraged from "self-destructive behavior."

tl;dr, the "sane" is mostly there to specifically draw attention to the fact that some people engage in sex in ways that may be a form of self-harm and/or may want to engage in sex when they are experiencing reality in a way that prevents them from making rational, fully-informed choices, such as psychosis or manic episodes. per their own statement, it seems the GMSMA would discourage having sex with people in this category.

obviously that may already fall under the purview of safe and consensual, but show me an organization that's never gotten a little redundant in its mission statement and I'll eat my shirt.

now, back to that criticism! as Stein notes in the essay I've referenced heavily in this answer, understandings of safety, sanity, and consent have come a long way since 1983! the risk-aware consensual kink model (RACK) has gained popularity for many reasons, with much of the conversation centered on both the inherent ableism of SSC and concerns about the promise of "safe" and the unhelpful and unrealistic expectations it may set. hell, even notions of consent are constantly growing and evolving. and that's wonderful! SSC comes from a very specific time and place in the history of kink and may no longer be the pinnacle of best practices for everyone, but there's still plenty to be learned from its origins.

#sex edventures 2023 #RACK

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pearwaldorf · 2 months

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I have been trying to write this on and off for a while. I figure the second anniversary of the show is as fine an occasion as any to shove it out into the world. It is not everything I want to say about it, but I think the important bits are there.

It is a human impulse to be seen. To be told, through art, you are not alone. It is universal, but of special importance to people who are not well-represented in media (i.e. everybody who isn’t cis, white, able-bodied, skinny, and conventionally attractive).

This show speaks to me as a queer person who figured things out later than most of my peers. (Not quite as late as Ed and Stede but not terribly far off either.) It’s not super common to see queer media address this, and I didn’t realize how much I needed that reassurance until I got it. That it’s okay to find these things any time in your life. To be told “A queer is never late, they’re always fashionably on-time.”

They’re not my first canon queer ship. But they are the first ones where I knew it was true from the get-go. Multiple people assured me this was the case. And yet, I still didn’t believe it until I saw it with my own two eyes. This experience is not unusual for fans around my age.

After I finished up season one, I laid in bed and cried. It’s not something I thought would affect me so much, but it feels like a weight I’d carried so long I didn’t realize it wasn’t supposed to be part of me is gone.

One of the reasons people unfamiliar with the fandom seem to think it’s absolutely crazy (which some of it is, to be fair, but every fandom has that) is the way fans of the show get extremely super intense about it. It took me a few weeks to realize this is a trauma response. I’m not even sure “trauma” is the right word. It doesn’t interfere with my day to day function, but it lasted for years. Decades. So it was definitely something that fucked me up. And in the way you can only start to see something as you’re moving past it, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to get my head around this. (I don’t know if I have anything to say about it yet. Maybe I need more time to sit with it.)

I know this sounds contrary, but I’m really glad David Jenkins does not come from fandom. Sometimes it’s good to know where a line is, and others it’s better to not know there’s a line at all. And this is, sad to say, remarkable to somebody who has had to deal with this for so long. With so many writers and showrunners aware of the line, and getting right up next to it, but never crossing it.

Imagine doing a show with a queer romance and not understanding why this was received with such emotion and fervor, because it’s just two people in love right? What blissful ignorance that this needed to be explained to him! And then he listened to people’s experiences with queerbaiting, and went “Oh my god you thought I was going to do WHAT?” And then you go “Huh. That is really fucked up.”

The problem with being told something enough, even though you know it’s wrong, is you start to believe it regardless. All the excuses and hedging. It’s so very difficult to do they tell us, when we hear from queer creators how they had fight tooth and nail to make it as gay as it already was.

And then comes Jenks, just yeeting it out there: majority queer and (not and/or. and) POC cast, an openly non-binary person playing an openly non-binary character. The ability to not have to make one queer (and/or) POC character speak for everybody, so you can inject a tiny bit of nuance into the conversation. The way you can tell more kinds of stories, like the one where the smol angry internalized homophobe comes into his own with the support of a queer community, even though he was a giant fucking asshole to them before.

So many people were like “You can just DO that? It’s really that easy?” And wasn’t that a fucking Situation, to have that curtain pulled aside. What next? Majority POC casts with stories about POC written by POC? Absolute madness. (Please please watch The Brothers Sun on Netflix. It’s so fucking good.)

And people will scoff and say “Of course a cishet(?) white man would be able to get this pushed through.” But do they usually? The thing I don’t think people understand about allies is they use their privilege to wedge the door open. You still have to do the work to get through, but at least you have a place to start. And it really fucking matters.

The press keeps trying to tell me The Completely Made-Up Adventures of Dick Turpin is the OFMD substitute we need while we float in the gravy basket. I’m sure it’s a perfectly fine show, but I don’t know who has watched OFMD and decided the itch we needed scratched was anachronistic historical comedy.

I want stories written by people that reflect their lived experiences, with actors and crew committed to bringing that to life. And I would like streamers and studios to commit to giving them a chance, and marketing them properly so people know they exist.

You can keep people satisficed with scraps for only so long. At some point, somebody is going to give them a whole seven course dinner and people will wonder why they’ve been putting up with starving this entire time.

#our flag means death #ofmd #our flag turns 2 #pear watches ofmd #pear text

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ingravinoveritas · 5 months

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New DW video diary from Georgia, and David once again cannot shut up about Michael...

#david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #georgia tennant #doctor who 60th anniversary special #the fact that his mind went right to Michael I'm--#this was May of last year #and i'm now very convinced he and Michael saw each other while David was filming in Cardiff #tell me again that they're not a couple #the way they bring each other up when the other isn't around is everything #cue Kylie's 'Can't Get You Out of My Head' playing somewhere in the distance #saying a lot by saying very little #but i think david is definitely telling us who he is #ineffable lovers #let me live please #amazing

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stromblessed · 1 year

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Joel thinks he needs to be the ultimate protector, but doesn't realize how invaluable he is to Ellie as a provider and a nurturer

I keep thinking about how Joel goes through aalllll of that in ep 8, the torturing and the killing and the tracking, thinking he's on the warpath, probably thinking he's either gonna rip some bitches apart right in front of Ellie or simply avenge her -

Just for the end goal of simply being there for Ellie. He doesn't even get there in time to pull her off of David, or to guide her out of the burning restaurant. He's only in time to be someone safe for her to hug and hold onto.

Joel is forever stuck in this place where protection is the one thing Sarah needed from him on outbreak night, that he couldn't give her. On day 1 with Ellie, he defaults to the trauma of failing at being that protector, and throws himself at that FEDRA guard, tells Ellie to be careful, etc.

But he does not provide for her - Marlene provides, for a bit. He definitely doesn't nurture her - Tess does, however briefly and gruffly. Joel thinks he's just there to be a trigger finger and a pair of fists. And he WILL use those things to protect this little girl - the absolute bare minimum that he failed to give to Sarah. To prove he can. That he won't fail like that again... until he does. Over and over again.

But I wonder - does Joel ever think about how he was able to provide for Sarah? Working a blue-collar contractor job to support her as a single parent, give her a home, posters on her wall, cute clothes, money for fixing broken watches and eating eggs for breakfast? Working so hard that he forgets to buy a cake on his own birthday?

Does Joel ever think about how he was able to nurture Sarah? He was emotionally available. He made her smile and laugh. He was a tough man's man who still hugged and held his daughter and talked to her and apologized to her and teased her and carried her in his arms. She could tease him back and scold him and go through his things without fear of him snapping at her or stonewalling her. They watched bad movies and took care of their neighbors together.

I love that Joel eventually taught Ellie to hunt. How to keep watch and be alert and keep herself alive. He probably thought that needing to transfer his skills to Ellie means he's already failed at protecting by default, but he SUCCEEDS at providing! Where so, so many other characters in this show fail!

To Joel, the happy fun times with Ellie - however brief they are, just little bright spots in a few episodes - are probably detours, little distractions he allows himself, but he's there for her again and again. Apologizing to her. Making her smile. Giggling at her stupid jokes. Teasing her. Asking her about herself. Telling her stories. He's not all the way there yet, but he's been there enough that Ellie CHOOSES him. Even when Joel may not be the best choice - the best protector.

And now at the end of ep 8, there's ultimately nothing Joel can do. But he goes through hell - to nurture her, in the end, after Ellie spends weeks protecting him and providing for him. But that nurturing, loving nature is what Ellie needed the most, the one thing Joel thought was worth the least, and I am. Unwell.

#tlou #the last of us #tlou spoilers #joel miller #spoilers ahead for season 2: definitely not thinking about how ellie rejects joel's ultimate act of protection nope not thinking about it #I had one of those dads who thought protection was all he was needed for and then he turned around and served emotional abuse daily #and he couldn't provide in the end either - it's fine between arcane last year and tlou this year my daddy issues are fine they're FINE

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the-guilty-writer · 1 year

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What's in a Nickname?

Request: from @doctorsteeb

Okay okay one more in case the last one was too specific—

Rossi!daughter coming home from college or from traveling abroad?

David Rossi x daughter!reader

Summary: A stop by your dad’s office leaves the BAU with a few questions… Some of them are more sentimental than others.

A/N: I couldn’t not write this after the idea popped into my head and this request gave me free reign to work with. If you didn’t look up what the nickname was for the reader in my other recent rossi!daughter fic you will know by the end. And yes, this nickname will absolutely stick for rossi!daughter reader from here on out unless I get a specific request not to include it because we all know if Rossi had a daughter this nickname would be canon.

CW: lots of italian... like I went a bit overboard on this one so here are translations: rompere le scatole = literal translation is “to break boxes” but it is slang for getting on someone’s nerves. Non avere peli sulla lingua = literal translation is “not to have hair on the tongue” which is slang for tell the truth. la goccia che ha fatto traboccare il vaso = literal translation for “drop that made the vase overflow” equating to the straw that broke the camel's back. Ti voglio bene = “I love you” used for family and close friends. Mio passerotta… you’ve gotta read until the end to find this one out for yourself.

---

“I never thought I would actually miss sitting in traffic,” you said, a smile on your face.

You were finally home after a semester abroad in Jamaica. Having always lived in a city, it was nice to be close to the ocean and wildlife and small towns, but after five months you were ready to return to the concrete jungle that was Washington, DC.

Your dad, on the other hand, was rather grumpy about the back up on the highway. “I’ll remind you of that next week when you say that the traffic is rompere le scatole.” He looked down at his watch and hesitated. “Do you mind if I-”

“Stop by the office?” You finished for him. You didn’t hate the idea of stopping by work with your dad, but you would have much rather gone home to eat a nice warm meal.

“If it’s not okay I understand,” he said. “Non avere peli sulla lingua.”

For a second, you thought about his words. “It’s fine,” you told him, then held out a singular finger. “But only if you make pasta tonight.” David Rossi might have been a master at hostage negotiation, but you were a master at dinner negotiation.

“Certo, mio passerotta,” he said as he turned onto the exit towards Quantico.

---

“Hey,” Derek walked into the bullpen, a cup of coffee in his hands even though it was nearly 5 PM. “Anyone know who is in Rossi’s office?”

“Rossi, I assume,” Emily said. She glanced up at the open office door where you were sitting. “Well that’s definitely not Rossi.”

“Maybe she’s a groupie?” JJ suggested.

“I don’t think a groupie would have made it past security,” said Reid without looking up from his book.

“BAU team,” Hotch walked into the bullpen with a file in hand, Rossi in tow, and Garcia trailing closely behind. “We have a case.”

The rest of the team headed to the conference room, but Rossi walked to his office to deliver the news to you that pasta might not be happening that night.

---

“You’re sure this is okay with you?” Your dad asked. “I don't want this to be la goccia che ha fatto traboccare il vaso-”

You cut him off with a wave of your hand. “I'm sure. Pasta can happen another night. Stopping a serial killer cannot.”

The team filed out of the conference room- the case was an emergency one, which meant the full briefing would be done on the jet, but they couldn’t help overhear the conversation you were having with your father.

“Ti voglio bene, papa.” You wrapped him in a hug.

He returned it, holding you tight. “Ti voglio bene, mio passerotta.”

You had to pry yourself out of your father’s arms to get him to let go. With a kiss on the forehead and a reminder not to drink his expensive wine, he sent you on your way home and went into his office to pack up his briefcase.

“Rossi has a daughter?” Emily smiled a bit and looked around at Morgan, Reid, JJ, and Garcia in confusion. “Did any of you know?”

“I had no idea,” JJ said as she and the rest of the team watched you leave.

“What’s everyone looking at?” Hotch said from behind them as he exited his office. They all startled at their boss’s sudden appearance.

“Rossi’s daughter that none of us knew existed,” Garcia admitted, still surprised.

“Oh yes, that’s (Y/N),” Hotch said. “She’s been studying abroad but decided to spend this summer with Dave instead of her mother.”

“Which wife?” Morgan joked.

“Actually, her mother is a close friend from college.” Rossi said. Once again, the team jumped in surprise. “We both wanted a kid, but she didn’t want to deal with too many lawyers and I didn’t want to deal with someone not understanding that I have an inflexible job. It worked out for both of us. Now if we’re done talking about my personal life, I think we have a murderer to catch.”

Rossi and Hotch walked out of the bullpen, leaving the team to stand around awkwardly for just a moment before remembering they had a flight to catch.

---

The case was fast and successful, but after being awake for nearly 24 hours straight most of the team was asleep- all except for Reid and Prentiss who were playing chess in the most quiet corner of the jet.

“How’d you know she was his daughter?” Reid asked as he moved his queen.

“It was a pretty easy inference,” said Emily as she calculated her next move, carefully watching how Reid had strategically placed his knights. She captured one. “She called him papa. I figured she had to be his daughter.”

“What does it mean?” Reid moved a bishop forward.

“What does what mean?” Emily moved one of her pieces without thinking.

Reid captured a pawn in her confusion. “He called her mio passerotta. You smiled when he said her nickname. What does it mean?”

Emily’s mouth twitched slightly up at one corner and moved a rook before leaning back in her seat. “My sparrow,” she said, a melancholy tone to her voice. “Mio passerotta means ‘my sparrow.’”

Reid looked down, a small smile gracing his face before going back to the board and putting Emily’s king in check with a move his mentor had used against him many years before.

#criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #david rossi #rossi x daughter!reader #rossi x child!reader #david rossi x daughter!reader #david rossi x child!reader #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x platonic!reader #criminal minds x teen!reader #criminal minds x daughter!reader #criminal minds x child!reader

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