Some vampire girls from my gothic literature!

(Top left drawing: From top to bottom, left to right: Carmilla Karnstein, Lucy Westenra, Laura Hollis, Mina Harker, Claudia de Pointe du Lac!)

Armand surgical malpractice meta (spoilers for TVA)

It’s, at least from what I’ve seen, a pretty popularly agreed upon conception that Armand’s mutation of Claudia b4 her death as described in TVA didn’t actually happen..partly bcus it’s such a drastic and grotesque retcon from her death in interview with the vampire so lots of ppl don’t want to address it as canon, and partly bcus it’s so bizarre and seemingly unprompted in context that it just seems more plausible that Armand would make this up as some sort of twisted shock value rather then actually do it. I used to buy into this theory and never rlly thought about it beyond that, and today for the first time I thought about it deeply and realized. Damn I rlly disagree! I think that Armand 100% canonically chopped Claudia’s head off and sewed it onto an adult body. I believe it happened as told. And I have many reasons !

First and foremost I don’t think that Armand is actually capable of lying so deliberately in this context. Interpreting most tvc narrators as potentially lying to our faces and intentionally twisting events to suit a narrative and a purpose of dictating our perception of them is, I think, accurate and justified, and smth I love about this fandom. Everyone is not to be trusted 100%, especially Louis and Lestat, who are said and implied many times to have completely fabricated some events in the books for the sake of painting a picture. Tvc serve as this over arching plot about multiple conflicting characters manipulating events of their lives to suit a narrative that we as the audience can pick apart and discover the truth within. Very much “this bitch said WHAT about me?? that dumb cunt is always spreading lies smh, it actually happened LIKE THIS” (they r both not telling the full truth). Armand however is very much an outlier here, and it’s part of what makes TVA so unique as a chronicle. It’s a big part of his character throughout the series, in TVA and leading up to TVA, that Armand’s way of thinking is so dysfunctional and his memory is so flawed (bcus of all his trauma) (and neurodivergence) (imo) that he isn’t able to fully conceptualize the events of his life as chronological and meaningful in the way that one would need to do to be able to write a memoir.

He can’t describe events in broad strokes, or wrap his head around a vast emotional impact in a way that is explanatory or intentional. Think of that conversation he has with Daniel in queen of the damned, where he explains that he isn’t capable of telling Daniel what his life in the past “was like” because that’s a concept incomprehensible to him. He only knows what happened, not what it was like, not how it affected him or how it shaped his personhood, what it means etc. It’s a form of dissociation almost. The vampire armand is the first time in Armand’s vampiric life that he self reflects beyond acknowledging events and his emotions in that moment, it’s the first time he attempts to make connections and understand himself in a way that is narrative and structured and not fragmented bits of history and A names. Part of this requires further dissociation. I definitely get the impression that since Armand is being so vulnerable in a way he is so unused to, yet is so significant, he is unable to register while he’s talking that not only David, but millions of people including every vampire in the world, will know what he says. He’s just laying himself completely bare, he’s talking and talking and only once he finishes realizes oh. Oh. everyone’s going to read this huh. It’s so cathartic he doesn’t consider that in the moment. It’s the first time he’s ever been capable of reckoning with his life in a self reflective way, of looking at it and explaining it and reasoning with it, structuring it in order, not fragments, etc, seeing the cause and the impact and touching on an overall conclusion (tho he never entirely gets there). These baby steps are so difficult for him already, and considering this part of his character I really think it’s a stretch to say that Armand would be capable of the thought process in his book of pure venting to go “maybe I should twist the truth here or change this or add this or lie about this so people will think of me this way or so Lestat can see this, etc” TVA is unreliable, more so bcus of how mentally ill armand is and how little he understands his own life and emotions, but not deliberately like iwtv and tvl. Armand even says that the book was for Benji and Sybelle, but it’s so unfiltered and horrific and vent-like that this sounds ridiculous. He doesn’t even have his stated audience in mind while he’s telling his story, let alone his broader audience. The audience was a complete afterthought, a barely registered consequence. So why would he lie about Claudia? How would he be capable?

it’s another common piece of conversation around this part of TVA where we go, Armand discusses how he never would want to tell this to Louis bcus he knows how badly it would hurt him, so why did he describe it so graphically? Well, cause of all I mentioned. It seems pretty clear to me that armand is almost haunted by the affair with Claudia, and he has no way of lying about this, so his descriptions seemed very much to me like a desperate bit of venting. He has never told anyone how horrific it actually was and it’s always been in his mind, so he just lets it all out. Makes sense, but the broader question is, if Armand wasn’t lying…why did he do that at all?? This I think is so interesting.

To understand this I had to think a lot about Armand’s motivations for killing Claudia at all, which is well, simply, revenge against Lestat and claiming of Louis without barriers. If Claudia dies Lestat will be sad and Louis will be mine and mine alone 👍👍 etc. but Claudia’s mutation was not rooted in either of these motivations, which is part of why it’s so shocking. He didn’t do it to hurt Lestat, lestat never found out. It just seems so odd and unprompted. But once I thought more about why Armand hates Lestat, and why he wants to hurt him by killing Claudia, it started to fit into place. Armand’s hatred for Lestat is rooted very much in his twisted resemblance to Marius that he perceives as being very strong and basically mocking. When he first sees Lestat in tvl he’s repulsed by him instantly bcus he sees him as this parody of Marius, this beautiful blonde man in striking red robes who boldly and carelessly defies the laws of vampires established by the children of Satan as if they are meaningless to him, revels in the indulgent world of humans like he belongs there, shamelessly as armand devotes himself to miserable repression. It strikes a nerve for armand, feels very personally offensive to him, like the embodiment of the traits that got Marius’s destroyed r coming back to mock him in his face. And then as he gets to know Lestat more deeply he only hates him more, bcus Lestat is not only bold and careless, but he’s immature and stupid, and he knows nothing. Armand in his horribly traumatized mind set registers Lestat as “like Marius” and takes this to mean “maybe he can save me, maybe he will teach me and free me from this hell, guide me and give me the purpose I need to be given.” But Lestat does not do this, lmfao. He actually destroys any sense of purpose armand had, rips him from his safety net, and when Armand begs for guidance, asks to be allowed to travel alongside Lestat so he can learn to be a person again, Lestat denies him. The only purpose he bothers to give him is the scraps, symbolic of his perverse indulgence that Armand despises, and fucks off. Lestat is grotesquely reminiscent of Marius, in the worst ways. It’s like his presence alone opens Armand’s eyes to how badly Marius has ruined him. He was the sun, the purpose, the guiding light, and then it was ripped away, and there was nothing else without him. Just a void.

So Armand hates Lestat for this very personal mockery of his own plight, and this hatred spirals into unbridled rage when Lestat returns to him and expects Armand to give Lestat the assistance that he denied him. Not only this, but Lestat found Marius, found marius and was granted guidance and love that Marius refused to give Armand after his indoctrination into the children of Satan. And Marius told Lestat to never ever do what he did, never make an Armand, because Armand was a mistake, he was too young to be a vampire, and now he’s a mistake he will never forgive himself for. And with this immense privilege that Armand spent a huge chunk of his life yearning for, guidance from Marius when he was his most lost, Lestat decides to disregard it. He decides that since Marius said it was bad to turn a child as young as Armand, he’d turn a child even younger then Armand, just cuz. He is once again the embodiment of Marius’s sins, the grotesque parody. Marius turned a teenager, Lestat turns a five year old. It’s almost cruel in how mocking it is, almost intentional in how personal. So Claudia is this child, this deliberate mistake made by someone who knew her turning would be harmful to her but was selfish enough not to care, then went on to regret it when he has to reckon with the consequences. Seem familiar? Armand sure thought so. So I imagine that being alone with Claudia, looking this deeply sad reflection of his own agony in the eyes, knowing she is about to die for justice against a warped parody of his Maker, for the sake of punishment for her own existence, I imagine this struck a cord of insanity in Armand’s fucked up mind, caused him to loose his absolute shit for just long enough to go what if I can fix her, what if I can turn this narrative around, give her the remarkable ending I know deep down that she, I , will never be granted. What if I can give her a body that will reflect her mind? What if I can make this abomination into a miracle? No wonder he pulled out the surgical tools 😭 No wonder he was so horrified by his own actions when he came to his senses, no wonder he refused to share this, kept it to himself for so long, until he finally broke and confessed it all in a desperate moment when he was too caught up in the dam breaking to realize he’d be exposing this horrific action to the world.

Armand sees Claudia as a repulsive mistake that should’ve never existed made by Lestat to deliberately mock him up until the surgery, when then for only a moment lost to time ended in blood she is another child who had her life taken from her too soon by an egotistical blonde man who thought he could play god with someone’s life. “They were done for anyway, he was going to starve to death in a brothel, she was going to die as a street orphan, the blood would be a service to them, a chance they never had” But they both know that’s a lie they tell themselves to justify the act of taking a child and molding it into what they please for fun, for pleasure, for companionship, just to see what would happen. Armand sees this for a moment and wants to give her a chance, give them both a chance, wants to see her as an adult, as someone who could have a life. And then of course, we know how that turns out 😭

my manufacturer sent me pics of the second sample of my IWTV claudia plush design! so much happier with this version! the only changes im making for version 3 is changing her eyebrow color to match her hair color a little better, but other than that she’s good! (preorders will likely be in feb btw)

if you’re interested in seeing the process of her so far i’ll post her first sample pic under here:

for some reason the first sample turned out really orange? so that was the biggest thing to fix! i also requested her hair color to be fixed and some minor clothing modifications! so here’s the first sample vs the new sample!

Ended up being very short, but that's how it flowed out. Actually pretty proud of it even if it is short though.

A Perfect Family explores a night in the life of Louis, Lestat, and Claudia, a night of jovial happiness, a night flowing with music, a night where they seem almost normal.

they would’ve run the PTA like the navy

Claudia: I’m in danger, Armand wants me dead

Louis:

"it's you and me..."

iwtv s2, ep 1 what can the damned really say to the damned?

paris sucks.

Happy Family! (X)

There r only two explanations for Nicolas never coming back in any form throughout tvc when Lestat both literally goes to heaven and hell and then every dead character is revealed to be either alive or a ghost, and one of which is that Claudia’s ghost upon meeting him immediately bodied his ass. Lestat is always like where is Nicki? Is he at peace? Why isn’t he in hell? Why isn’t he a ghost?, meanwhile Nicki has been blipped from existence for centuries ever since Claudia got to vampire afterlife and instantly unhinged her jaw and consumed him. They didn’t even have an altercation to prompt this Claudia just smelled a shitty gay cunt who was meaningful to Lestat and knew that he needed to go to super hell forever.

The only other explanation is that Nicki is alive and he’s been hiding out with the knowledge that if he shows up he will be a part of these fuck ass stupid ass books against his will, so he only makes his presence known after the series is definitively finished under threat of second divorce

“How could Louis and Lestat ever forgive Armand for killing Claudia?”

With all due respect: My sibling in Christ, do you have any idea how many lives Armand has ruined?  And I mean vampire lives, not even touching the human lives.  Even the villain of the final trilogy, most of whose fledglings were kidnapped and brainwashed by Armand to be part of his cult, knew that if he wanted vengeance, he’d have to get in a very, very long line.  Armand is notorious for killing any weaker vampire who comes into his territory because if you don’t, there’s too much competition for prey.  Also, young vampires tend to be chaotic and power-trippy and just as territorial.  Louis and Claudia were pretty damn lucky they weren’t killed as soon as they entered Paris tbh.  I go back and forth on whether Claudia was marked for death whether Armand fell for Louis or not, whether Louis chose Armand or not.  If nothing else, she was a vampire in the body of a 5-year-old.  She couldn’t survive on her own.  Vampires like that are usually killed, no questions, so they don’t suffer or become a burden to anyone else.

Armand is not the only vampire who does this, he’s just really fucking consistent with it and figures he’s going to hell anyway, so he doesn’t hesitate for the sake of conscience.  And again, that’s not getting into how many he forced into his cult back in the day.

But also Lestat never blamed him to begin with.  Louis did, but he didn’t forgive Armand until after Armand made some significant changes.  And he learned this is just kind of the reality of vampires.  Vampires are territorial and killers by nature.  Anyone under 100 years old stumbling into a new city with old vampires already there will probably be culled.  This is one reason Armand refused to make Daniel a vampire for so long.

So the way Lestat sees it, and the way Louis comes to see it (especially as he benefits from Armand protecting him in this way in later books), they let Claudia into an enclosure with a “jungle wildcat among revenants.”  To them, Armand wasn’t malicious so much as they were negligent.  Not saying it’s right, just saying this is how they think of it.

I’d say they also understood that Armand was still in his “recovering from being brainwashed into believing he must be evil in order to serve God” phase, but really, Armand doesn’t stop killing trespassing fledglings until the vampires have some other form of government to control the chaos.  Even after he passes from Lawful Evil to Lawful Neutral.

(Side note: you couldn’t make an alignment chart with AR vampires because the entire top row would be empty.)

they are all patron saints TO ME

Claudia would support Akasha until she found out "kill all men" excluded Lestat