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sunshine-jesse · 7 months

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The Incest End is Not The Bad End, Part 2: The Sane Ending Is Still A Bad Ending

In the first essay I wanted to deconstruct the idea that Ashley was the sole perpetrator of abuse. I wanted to take a look at how unhealthy their dynamic actually was and lay out clear indications that Ashley could, at the very least, fix her own problems, and wasn't a lost cause. I also wanted to show that them ending up together, be it romantically, in death, or even platonically (although I'm not convinced the Sane Burial ending can lead to that) was inevitable.

Here, however, I want to make a more difficult argument: That their relationship turning romantic is not just Not That Bad, but actually Good, at least in the context of what's best for the two of them in the long run. And to do that, I'm going to draw comparisons to the common narrative that it's the bad ending, again. I think it's the easiest way to explain my points, even though it might make me seem like I'm being contrarian or playing the Devil's Advocate.

But I'm not. I actually do think this is the only way they can heal. Why?

WELL.

My biggest driving factor for this belief is and always has been the difference in tone between the two endings. The 'correct' ending under conventional understandings of morality and relationships would be one where he breaks away from Ashley, but the only ending in which that's shown to be possible is the Decay ending. In the ending where Ashley has bullets in the gun (and therefore has control over the situation), she has to yield control over the situation to Andrew, and (going off the reading I established in the last essay) he understands and accepts just how much their dynamic means to him and how important Ashley really is to him.

In a sense, he self-actualizes in the same way he does in the Burial ending: Ashley yields control where it matters the most in both, resulting in him he fully understanding and accepting himself and what he wants, because Ashley's controlling nature no longer prevents him from seeing the truth. Ashley no longer casts a shadow that allows him to be blind to his true nature- his true desires.

In the Burial ending, he wants her either romantically and sexually (in the questionable ending) or as a friend (in the sane one). He lets go of his own need to control her, and accepts the fact that he was never better than her to begin with. In the Gun!Decay ending, he wants her dead. The damage has been done. Whatever final line was crossed made him realize that he can't control Ashley, and a world in which she cannot be controlled is one better off without her.

But in both, he can't live without her.

The tone of the Decay ending is tense. It's dismal. It's emotionally ravaging. Andrew is not acting like someone who wants to break free, he's acting like someone who has given up. He's angry and he's suicidal, but he no longer has any reservations about making intimate physical contact with Ashley.

…and Ashley looks terrified and sad, especially in the last screenshot, which gives off some seriously dark implications about what Andrew might do to her in the Decay route.

He's given up on healing. He's given up on being normal. His heart and his mind both Decay as he's dragged along by an Ashley who's doing whatever she can to try to not allow a murder-suicide to happen and only making it worse in the process, because SHE has no foundation through which to improve or change her perspective on the world, either (more on that below).

In the NoGun!Decay ending, we don't know what he does after. He fails to self-actualize because Ashley never yields that need for control, and he follows the same pattern he always does of resorting to violence the moment he thinks he's losing control. I highly doubt that the ending would be much different- he'd probably just mirror Ashley's reaction of violently kicking the body at first, but he probably wouldn't last long after. Both, in an attempt to regain control or save their own lives, feel temporary relief at the death of the other, because they no longer feel trapped and afraid of what will happen if they leave.

But they also both fail to come into their own as people. Their dynamic- of Ashley being the morally bankrupt one willing to do anything to further their own survival, and Andrew being the one who's careful and calculating and preventing her short-sightedness from causing unintentional consequences- was the only thing that allowed them to survive in the first chapter, and more than likely the second (we don't see the consequences of them not having the trinket's power in ep2 so it's impossible to say for sure). If they don't kill themselves after losing the other and failing to self-actualize, it's almost certain that the world will eat them alive. They're outlaws, on the run, and have nobody to lean on but themselves. Without each other to lean on, it's only a matter of time until they fall.

So. The Decay ending is very obviously bad. There is no freedom to be had from them breaking away from the other; only despair and death. There's catharsis to be had in miserable people meeting a miserable end, sure, but the story goes out of its way to show us that the path to that end will be miserable and unfun and horrifying with the only joy to be derived from it coming from pure schadenfreude. But the story itself makes it clear that this is not intended to be a happy ending and thinking of it as such means you're fundamentally incompatible with what it's trying to convey. It's just a horrifying tragedy of two people who never gave each other what they needed to heal and tore down everything around them in the process.

So, how is the Burial ending better?

The lighter tone is immediately obvious. Ashley trusts Andrew to believe in her, and Andrew goes up to bat for Ashley even in the face of an arguably superficial offer to improve his life; to start it anew. The two just generally have a good time together afterwards, joking around, having fun, and ribbing on each other in a way that comes off as playful rather than hurtful. Andrew, finally, makes progress towards -healing,- because he finally stopped lying to himself about how important Ashley is to him. Why do I think it's a sign of healing, exactly?

Because Andrew, for the first time in the story, is comfortable with what he's doing.

He's comfortable with dismembering their parents. He's rarely tense, hesitates much less, and comforts Ashley instead of just seeking comfort from her. He gives more than just temporary emotional validation; a lot more. So much more, in fact, that it makes ASHLEY uncomfortable. She has difficulty processing not having their push and pull dynamic. She thinks something is off, something is wrong, because she's never seen Andrew so comfortable around her before, or at least lacking reservations in showing that comfort.

She still thinks about the idea of controlling him, of trying to get him to stay. There's internal monologue about it. But that's the difference. Before, we rarely see any internal monologue of her thought patterns- she just acts. Not thinks. But here, she's unsure. Here, she has to look inward. She has to self-reflect. She still frames it as her trying to keep Andy around, but Andrew is making it obvious in both words and actions that he will always be there for her, and he's so COMFORTABLE about it.

Regardless of what her actions in episode 3 end up being, it's still clear to me that the foundation for her to heal is there. She's safe, because she has a warm, comfortable place to return to while she figures herself out.

"So," you might be asking, "doesn't this imply that she'll heal no matter what? Doesn't that make incest technically unnecessary?"

Yes and no. Yes, in the fact that we still see a marked improvement in their dynamic in the Refusal path.

No, in that the Sane ending's tone is still much different.

After the dream sequence, Andrew reveals that he never fell asleep. He never sees that vision. He still self-actualizes to some degree, probably, but he never has his desires laid so bare for him because he doesn't dream. But you have to place sunlight on the left side to see this, so it still leads me to believe that they still grasp the importance of their relationship in that ending. It's just that…

I don't think that they ever, truly heal. I think that they just grow distant. I'll elaborate on what I think that means later down the line.

In the Sane ending, they have much less fun with each other. They don't playfully rib on each other as much- the eulogy in particular seems more spiteful than playful- and they're much less physically affectionate towards each other. It's not dismal. It's not dark or depressing. It's not tense. It's just… there. It's boring. Nothing has changed, and neither has Andrew, which Ashley views him not sleeping as a sign of.

But in the Questionable ending, he -does- sleep.

So what does sleep mean here? It means he can't sleep if he feels he's missing something. It means something is lacking in his life. Something is missing. Is it Ashley's affection? Well, yes, but also not just that. Ashley is just a representation of what he needs: Comfort. Someone to rely on. Someone he know won't leave him. I believe they have the same needs, and those needs just manifest differently. Andrew never had to worry about Ashley leaving him because Ashley was so obsessive that she managed to fill in the all-consuming void that mental illness creates.

But I think in the Sane ending, he starts to doubt that. In the Sane ending, he starts to shake his desire for Ashley. Which is great, right? It means they can finally go down a more conventional, safe path and have a relationship that's societally acceptable. The safe, boring ending that normies would enjoy.

But the fact that he doesn't sleep means that, even if he shakes that desire, he can't shake the need for what she provides.

Because he never sees the vision, he never gets that confirmation that he can pursue a more physically affectionate relationship with Ashley, and given that physical affection is a huge part of the equation for making him feel comfortable and happy (see: the couch scene, where he's the happiest he is in the whole game before the Burial route), he never truly believes he can seek it from her. He never gets it from the one person he trusts to always be around. He never gets that final affirmation that it's okay to be with the one person who has always mattered to him the most, and always will.

If we're to take the scenes at the end of episode 2 as metaphors for what will happen- or has to happen- for the siblings to get the best outcome for their well being (even at the expense of others), then the Questionable route involves Ashley loosening her grip on Andrew and having him naturally fill in the roles she wanted him to all along. But in the Sane route, Ashley bottles up every soul see shes, aside from what's commonly assumed to be Andrew's, who she is uncharacteristically cavalier about letting go.

She's still the same. She still wants to entrap people, and never let them go. She just happens to no longer want to do it to Andrew. She never fundamentally changes. And Andrew?

His soul has nothing to say. It's pitch black. It almost looks demonic, having literally the same color scheme as the Entity and Lord Unknown. If it's already demonic, then it stands to reason that a demon wouldn't want it, because it's just more of the same. Nothing special, nothing they would want, nothing that would be useful to them. In other words… just like Ashley?

He has- or will have- a tar soul.

And what does tar do?

It sticks.

It's the Sane path to take because it involves them conforming to societal expectations. It involves them fitting in, acting as they should, and doing what's expected of them without much fuss. But in the world they're in, they're expected to harm everyone around them. To kill or be killed, eat or be eaten. To never become themselves, and never be truly happy. To never ask questions.

And they'll do all of that, whether they stick together or not. The only difference is how many people they stand to hurt, and whether they're truly happy at the end of it all.

There's a reason the souls of one of the parents- commonly thought to be Mrs. Graves- was unhatched. She probably wanted to love her children. Even Ashley. She just never did, because the world never let her be herself. She never became whole, because it would've resulted in her being too dark to fit into society. But the siblings have a chance to do so. They have a chance to truly focus on each other so they can heal and become better, happier, more complete people in a world that's doing everything it can to incentivize otherwise.

It's just a bit unfortunate for some that Andrew has to fill a hole to become whole.

#the coffin of andy and leyley #andrew graves #ashley graves #coffincest #i am absolutely doubling down on this #nay #quadrupling down

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spinji · 7 months

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Imma be honest, I have no idea where people are coming from sympathizing with All For One.

I get the simps, you guys are gonna twist things for your meow meow all you want. More power to you.

But the narrative wastes no time showing us that AFO's greed and desire to control is INSTINCTUAL. He stole nutrients from Yoichi in the womb, stole his mother's quirk, and (arguably) stole her life. This was long before he'd be developed enough to make a conscious choice.

"But AFO is the one telling us this so of course he might lie" No???? We don't have any characters that could relay this information to us so the narration is just neutral omniscient dialog to explain what's happening, referring to AFO in the third person. This isn't diagetic narration.

Do you honestly think AFO, losing his goddamn mind in the middle of a fight, would turn to Bakugou like "so my mother was a prostitute-". The last page is the only one explicitly from AFO's point of view and that has a very obvious change in perspective. So no, I don't think All For One is telling us the story of how he was almost eaten by rats. We can absolutely take this at face value.

There are more complicated implications about the world building in this chapter, like how the actually recorded first quirk was flashy but harmless to set up a nice and happy origin of meta abilities despite that not being true. It puts AFO in a tight position as well because well he grew up in a hellscape with no parents and learned how to survive on his own right? So it's okay that he killed all those anti-quirk people right?

What about Yoichi?

Yoichi grew up in identical conditions to AFO, just as starved, just as unloved, just as alone. But Yoichi also grew up kind. He had empathy and hope, not wanting innocent people to get hurt. You can't inherently blame their circumstances when AFO has been a dickhead since birth and yet his twin, in the same scenario, did not. The difference? AFO had power and a compulsive need to control.

Yoichi would not have felt the need to run away, willingly, with Kudou if this was meant to be AFO's tragedy. Tenko's family ran to him, Touya's family thought they lost him, AFO's ran away from him.

AFO is blinded by ego and an all consuming sense of control. He is very much meant to be the embodiment of these things, monolithic as a threat. And his pursuit after One for All has been both a power grab and a desire to have complete control over his brother again in the form of suppressing his vestige.

Remember how Himiko actively chose not to live by a villain name? Because she didn't see herself as a criminal?

This is All For One's origin story and we still only know his villain name.

Do you really think that's not intentional?

#mha #bnha #my hero academia #mha spoliers #mha manga spoilers #mha 407 #all for one #shigaraki yoichi #look I'm just ranting here if you want to sympathize with this patient zero for the abuse cycle that is this series' villains be my guest

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ashintheairlikesnow · 4 months

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thoughts about the devil in fiction

I think the amount of stories that feature or even focus on a deeply sympathetic or tragic Lucifer Morningstar who is not so much evil as misunderstood, or someone who broke the rules before anyone understood rules could be broken, are an interesting take on our innate need to believe that literally anyone can be redeemed, or at least have some capacity for desiring or wishing for redemption even if they can never, ever earn it.

The tragedy of Lucifer isn't that he was the first of the damned, but that he simply has no other future, no hint of potential to have existence be anything but what it already is.

His tragedy never results in any significant change to heaven in a positive direction. Usually these stories involve the idea of rebellion designed to take heaven down or make it more similar to hell. Rebellion based on being jealous of humanity's ability to make their own choices, or being so proud of himself that he believed his power could rival God.

Lucifer remains trapped within a prison of his own pride and belief that he knows best, or maybe the story involves him learning that his pride was misplaced, but even so the punishment is never truly lifted. It cannot be. It's eternal.

There's also an element, I think, of many people seeing the unfairly demonized - how impossible it can seem to fight against seemingly arbitrary rules - and sort of painting that in larger strokes using the Devil as a canvas. The first of creation to look at the way things were and wonder why they could not be different than this.

How many of us grow up thinking we will change things on a grand scale, fight against the powers that made us, and instead find ourselves simply struggling to maintain hope in a world we aren't allowed to affect? Who find ourselves stomped down when we stand up, or told our ideas are impossible? Told that we're just jealous of those who have more than we have, or that we're too full of ourselves thinking we could make a difference?

It's a really interesting relatability that we have created out of a handful of mentions in a very old book, similar mythologies from other religions, and sheer imagination.

Even in Dante's Hell, written in the 17th century, Lucifer is tragic, damned by pride and envy of God to reign in Hell but ultimately declaring he would rather rule the worst of creation than serve the best.

Is it the best, though?

What is humanity with all its potential for both bad and good removed?

Is the goodness of humanity worth much if it can't be contrasted with the worst? Does good exist without evil, or is it functionally meaningless at that point? Does Lucifer rule over the way that humanity can define what is good, rather than serve a good that has no evil with which to compare itself?

One of my favorite takes has always been those stories that have Lucifer's damnation be focused on seeing the worst of humanity coalesced, over and over and over again, and never allowed to see goodness in Creation. That his tragedy is that he isn't allowed to see how we can use the free will and knowledge of good and evil to do good, he can only see the way it's been twisted to darkness. Which suggests that he has been blinded to goodness purposefully.

The story of the serpent tempting Eve is always performed or written as the serpent slyly, knowingly tricking her by saying, "Surely you will not die," with a wink and a nudge. But there's another take in which the serpent - often written to be the same as Lucifer/Satan and explicitly stated to be the same entity in Christianity, although Genesis doesn't actually make that connection, it's just a snake who can talk and ask questions Eve and Adam hadn't thought of yet - was genuinely of the belief that humanity wouldn't come to same ruin he had, since they were so clearly and obviously being given a different set of potential than the angels.

In that reading, "Surely you will not die," is said with outright, honest confusion as to why they would think so.

After all, this creation was two people in a garden being given endless paradise. But there was something about the potential of their existence they had yet to touch... the ability to make choices that were truly their own.

His rage, his unending fury and pain, is because he believed once in his hubris that if humans can be given the capacity to choose, so could an angel. But then he realized that it didn't matter... even his rebellion was choreographed. It was just lines written on a page, enter the Morningstar, stage left, give his lines, be thrown into the pit.

If the plan was written from the start by a power he could never begin to equal, that means it was a script whose lines he read thinking those thoughts were his own.

Lucifer's tragedy is that even his pride and his envy, his fall, wasn't actually his.

His rage and his suffering is just one more step in a plan larger than he could ever be.

And he had no idea until it was done.

Punished for playing his part so well in a play he had no hand in writing and no idea was even an act, given the unending absence of the basic foundation of angelic existence afterward, forced to witness the worst of the favored creation given everything he ever wanted only to squander it...

Isn't that a tragedy unlike any other?

So those stories that feature Lucifer or even demons in general who are sympathetic and tragic because they are fighting against a constructed universe that they can barely touch or affect and who are suffering an absence, a chasm inside of them that was once filled with artificially created joy that was removed as arbitrarily as it was made...

You can see why those stories resonate over centuries, take new forms, and are an endless fascination for those of us here.

#lucifer morningstar #literary thoughts #the devil #satan #tragedy #tropes #characterization #demons #demons in fiction #satan in fiction #writing #reading #lucifer

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gojos-lost-lover · 10 months

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2:51 a.m:

Imagine being an old lover of Toji’s.

Long before he ever married and became a father.

The two of you were far from perfect, yet you loved each other with as much certainty as your naive hearts would allow.

First love, a gruelling title you carry with malice.

Toji was everything to you back then, and he still is in a way unique to him.

The time the two of you shared was not as short as it was fast.

The years sped by. One minute he was an awkward teen surrendering to the mercy of his love for you, the next he was an antagonistic symbol of regret.

You never forget your first love, they say.

Yet you buried the memories of yours in the crevices of your soul, or tried to at least.

The news of his marriage was a shock to you.

Sure you had moved on from him, but the young girl inside of you was still cursing the gods, daring them to hurt him how he hurt her.

Nonetheless, you turned a blind eye to the ache in your chest, silencing the screams of the young girl.

The years continued to fly by, still too fast for your liking.

You lived a monotonous life, never quite content and too exhausted to submit to misery.

After many lovers and a failed engagement, you found yourself at a cross road. You were getting older.

By the time you turned 30, you had given up on the idea of a family, not wanting to risk bestowing the cruelty of the Jujutsu world upon them. For a brief moment, your thoughts wandered to a place familiarly foreign. Toji.

Even if a decade had passed, you could never forget about him for he was the one who taught you what love was.

He proved to you that love was not merciful but instead ruthless. And that envy leaves much to be desired.

You envied her, his wife.

She was beautiful, not tainted by the bloodshed of your world.

She looked loving, if that was even possible.

But the past should remain in the past, and it did. Your first love did not cross your mind again for nearly another decade.

40 looked good on you, according to a certain white haired someone that is.

Regret was the only feeling constantly present in your life now. You wanted a family, to give love and ask of nothing in return. Yet ironically, your life seemed cursed by the despair brought forward by time.

It was on a particularly painful night that your first love crossed your mind once again. However unlike previous instances, you could see him vividly.

The dark figure looming over you brought back all the emotions of your youth.

He had changed and you wished you could say it was for the better.

But that doesn’t matter to you. Especially not when the man who crushed your dreams without even knowing was less than five feet away from you.

You give him a smile. The melancholy radiating off of you caressing him in the ways you wish you could have yourself.

The pain is overwhelming, you are drowning in a burning sea with no option but to try and stay afloat.

His eyes are burned into the back of your mind and there are tears welling in your own.

Before he has the chance to speak, you duck your head and walk past him as though he was no more than a mere figment of your past.

You miss the look of sorrow that shoots across the older man’s face. The memories of your relationship flash through his mind and leave him with questions that will never get the chance to be answered.

Toji always prided himself in being selfish yet he ignored the screaming urge to run after you and rekindle even a sliver of what you once shared.

You wouldn’t want him and the baggage that keeps him prisoner. For heavens sake, he has a kid, he doubts you would want a family at this age.

With a heavy heart, Toji walks away and doesn’t look back. His hands feel dry, but he knows they are soaked in blood. For the second time in his life, he kills you.

Your first love leaves once again. Fleeting, the only consistency in your life.

When you get home you seek comfort in cheap wine and attempt to erase any thoughts of the brooding man.

Feeling left behind never gets easier. But lord does it get more tragic.

Becuase your first lover never dies, it kills

#jjk #jujutsu sorcerer #jujutsu kaisen #toji #jujutsu kaisen toji #toji x reader #angst #toji angst #gojo #jjk angst #jjk x reader #anime #manga #fanfics #sad #jujutsu gojo

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andydrysdalerogers · 8 months

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Yours Submissively ~ Desolation

Steve Rogers X OFC Isabella Davis

Summary: Five Years after the events of Civil War, Steve Rogers has moved on from avenging and has started his own business, Grant Inc. He has a secret that would turn his world upside down. And he's good at keep that secret. Until he meets the woman with violet eyes that could bring him to his knees. Now his mission is to make her, his. But she is the key that could bring the world into balance... or chaos.

And she has no idea.

Series Warnings: slow burn at the beginning, smut, angst, sexual themes of BDSM, dom/sub dynamics, kidnapping, loss of virginity, (and a bunch of others that will come up)

A/N: the taglist is open!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Previous: Adjudication

Series Masterlist ~ Main Masterlist

Sunlight hit Steve’s eyes harshly. He grumbled at forgetting to lower the blinds last night. He rolls over to the unmade bed and sits up. Shit, I must have passed out, he thinks. He looks at the clock. 6AM. He stretched. He decides to make coffee and bring it to Belle before climbing back into bed with her. His girl. He smiled at the thought. He was going to talk to her today. About changing their relationship.

He shuffles into the kitchen and makes a pot, yawning as he does. He runs through the night before. How it had never been like that. How it was soft, sweet, sensual. All of his senses were lit up last night. There was no dominance. No control. Just love and desire. He’s brought back to reality when Bucky walks in. “Morning Jerk.”

“Hey Punk.” Bucky leans against the counter. “You know I’m not ok with you just taking off. But I understand. This time.”

“Sorry. I just needed to get her out of there. A lot of truths needed to be discussed.”

“Is she ok?”

“I hope so. We need to keep talking so I am taking her this cup of coffee.” He prepares it like he knows she likes it.

“Well good luck Romeo. Oh, and hey, ask her if she’ll need help.”

“With what?” Steve turns to him.

“With the move.” Bucky watches as Steve’s face continues to be confused. “Ok, I guess that hasn’t been brought up yet. I really need to stop doing this.” Bucky sighed and massaged his temples. “Lila and Belle are moving to Manhattan. To be closer to their new jobs.”

“Oh.” Steve tried to remain calm. Belle had said they needed to talk. “I guess that was on the list to talk about. Its fine.”

“You didn’t talk much did you?” Bucky asked with a smirk.

“Fuck you Barnes. I’ll be back.” Steve walked up to Belle’s room and opened the door quietly. He sees that she’s not in bed. He puts the coffee down. “Sweet pea?” No answer. He checks her closet, empty and moves onto the bathroom. He rushes back into the room and notices her blanket and bunny are gone. He sees a paper on the desk. And he reads.

No.

Please no.

Steve sits on the bed still reading, his eyes blurring.

She’s gone.

Its 20 minutes later when Bucky notices Steve hasn’t returned. He cocks his ear up to listen for arguing but the sound that hits him has him racing to Belle’s room. He can see Steve clutching a pillow and sobbing into it, trying to muffle the sounds.

“Stevie?”

Steve looks up. “She’s gone. She left.” He hands the letter to Bucky to read. Bucky sits as he reads.

“She loves you?”

“Yes. As much as I love her. I just didn’t get to tell her.”

“Then go after her.”

“I can’t.” Steve’s face was broken. He knew he couldn’t.

“Why?”

“Because I love her so much, I need to let her go.”

A two weeks later…

Steve rises from Belle’s bed, the first time he’s been able to find peace since she left. Her scent engulfs him and he tricks his mind that she’s there. His Belle, his sweet pea. His love. He gets to the kitchen where Bucky is drinking his coffee. “Morning,” he grumbles.

“Get any sleep?”

“A little. Once I was in her room.” Steve sighed and poured his own cup. “I want to watch her. I need to know she’s ok.”

“Steve…”

“I get it. But I can’t move on if I don’t know she’s ok.”

“Alright. I’ll get the car ready.”

Belle is not ok. She woke up screaming again, calling for Steve. Lila rushes in and holds her best friend while she cries. “Belle, please just talk to him.”

“I can’t Li. He doesn’t want to serious relationship. I do. It wouldn’t work. I love him so much.” Belle held on, needing something to hold on too.

“Ok, alright.” Lila rocks her back and forth. “Bucky says he’s not doing much better.”

“I don’t need to know that, Lila.”

“Sweetie, I think you need to reconsider.”

Belle gets up, hurt. “Delilah, you get to be with the man you care for. He wants what you want. I don’t have that. Please just stop.” Belle heads to the bathroom and sobs in the shower. She misses him so much. Not just the sex but his touch, his words, his kindness. How could she have not fallen for him? She makes it out and back to her room. Her new room, filled with boxes from the move yesterday. She digs through and finds clothes. Jeans but the top. The top that Bucky had picked out for her so many weeks ago.

She dresses and heads to Lila’s room. She whispering on her phone. “Hey Li.”

“Hang on.” She turns to Belle.

“I wanted to say sorry. I know I need to move on. Just can’t yet. So, I’m sorry for taking it out on you.”

“It’s ok Belle. I guess I never saw it in your perspective.”

“I’m headed to the shop. Need to read some more before training starts. I’ll be back." She exits quickly, not wanting to hear her saying anything to Bucky.

The coffee shop is the one place that doesn’t hold memories. To which Belle is grateful for. It small and relatively quiet among the tables. Not like Starbucks or the Coffee Bean. Slower. Melissa is nice and starts to get to know Belle a little, chatting every time she ordered. Belle took her coffee and sat by the window, letting the light hit her face as she reads her book.

Steve watches from across the street. He decided he didn’t want Bucky to watch him pine for his girl. He set him up with a non descriptive car for him to sit and watch her. He notices that she looks paler, gaunter. She’s not taking care of herself. She sits for about an hour and then leaves, waving good bye to the barista behind the counter. She heads to the local market and is there for half an hour. Finally, she heads back to her apartment. Steve carefully follows, not wanting to spook her

After Belle puts away her food, she sits and writes in her journal. But the entries are the same right now. They’re about Steve. Her losing him to some unknown, him walking away saying that can’t have more, an accident, a murder; every time resulting in her screaming for him. For her love to come back.

She shook of the feeling and decided to head to a diner for lunch. She needed a break from being alone all the time. As she made her way to the diner by her new school, she accidentally bumped into someone. “Oh, sorry.”

“It’s ok… Belle?”

“Scott. What are you doing here?”

“I’m just scoping a new apartment. Hope and I are moving so she can be closer to Columbia.”

“You and Hope?”

“Yeah,” Scott rubbed his neck, “after everything, she asked me to a drink to talk it out and one thing led to another and here we are.”

“Oh.” Belle fought back tears; everyone had a relationship but her. “I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks Belle. What about you?”

“Me? I’m fine. Just heading to lunch.” She half smiled. “Would you like to join me?”

“Sure.” They walk together in silence to the diner.

Steve is fuming. Belle was uncomfortable with Scott so why is she having lunch with him. He had missed her walking and drove around until he saw her in the window of the diner, laughing with Scott.

He’s better for her, he thought. He won’t put her in danger. He doesn’t have to consider saying the world to save one person. Steve got out and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. It has been ages since he lit one up but he needed something while he watched her enjoy herself with another man.

“You look like shit Rogers.” Steve was pulled back at the familiar voice and rolled his eyes but looked at Tony. “Why is Wilson taking all of your meetings?”

“Why do you care Stark?”

“You’re my friend. This isn’t like you.”

“Yeah, friend, right, well there are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

“Yeah, like you smoke. Since when?”

“Since a while ago. Quit. But then when life shits on you, you tend to not care anymore.”

“What happened?”

“Belle and I are no longer together.”

“Why?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Doesn’t matter. You got what you wanted.”

“Steve.”

“No. Fuck you Tony. Everyone keeps telling me to find someone and I found the true love of my life and she’s gone now. You wanted us to be apart and now we are. And I love her so much that I don’t want anything to happen to her. So, I lost the one good thing in my life. I hope you’re happy.” Steve stomps out the cigarette and climbs back into the car. He heads home and to the gym. He starts to punch the heavy bag.

Bucky comes in. “I gotta ask. You told me something at the beginning. That you thought she was worth it.”

Steve stops. “She is. She’s everything. She was mine. But I can’t do that to her. I can’t put her in danger.

“You were never going to do that punk. We would have protected her. This isn’t you. What happened?”

“I made a mistake. And in two week I’ll know if I’ve ruined her life for good.”

Bucky looked at him with sympathy. “Steve.”

“Save it Buck. I just want her happy. And if someone else makes her happy then I guess I have to live with that. But I can’t put the love of my life in danger. She wants more. And I would give it to her. I’d give her the world, even sacrifice it to make her happy.” He looked at the clock on the wall. “I’m heading back out.” He walked to his room to clean up and slammed the door.

After taking advantage of Lila being absence from the apartment and taking a nap, Belle decided to head to Brooklyn. As she rides the train, headphones in, she thought back to the conversation with Scott.

“I’m really sorry Belle. I didn’t think beyond kissing you to even see if you had the same feelings.” “It’s ok Scott. Just wish you would have waited.” She sipped her soda. “How are you and Rogers?” “He’s good. I’m good,” she lied. “Just trying to get ready for the training.” “It will be nice to know someone and have a friend,” Scott said tentatively. “A friend is always nice to have.”

Belle heard her stop over the PA and got up. She failed to notice the man in a hoodie who followed her out. She walked towards to bar, ready to sing out her feelings. She waived to the bartender and owner, Robert, as she entered and took to her usual booth. The waitress, Erica, brought her usual cherry coke. The normality, the familiarity of the routine, calmed her.

The host, Bill, had already put her name down and she waited patiently. She again, failed to notice to man in the hoodie as he sat on the opposite side, whiskey in hand. Her name was called and she approached the old piano. This, this was her happy place. Where she could let go of her emotions, her feelings without the constant hover of people. She played the familiar keys to a song.

“Some people live for the fortune Some people live just for the fame Some people live for the power, yeah Some people live just to play the game”

Belle’s mind began to drift over the memories

“Maybe I just want you.” “You don’t know anything about me.” “So let me get to know you.” “Why would I do that?” “Because you intrigue me.”

“Some people think That the physical things Define what's within And I've been there before That life's a bore So full of the superficial”

“What are you doing here?” “I was worried about you.” Steve pulled her towards him and stroked her cheek. “Are you ok?” “I’m fine. I just don’t understand.”

“Some people want it all But I don't want nothing at all If it ain't you, baby If I ain't got you, baby Some people want diamond rings Some just want everything But everything means nothing If I ain't got you, yeah”

“Am I not good enough?” “Sorry?” “You haven’t kissed me or made a move, yet you brought me here. Am I just a charity case?” “Isabella if you were a charity case, I would not have brought you to my home or place you in my bed for that matter. I’ve been dying to taste that mouth but I didn’t want to without your consent.” “You have it, Steve.” “I don’t. Not until you agree to be mine.” “Yours?” “In every way, Isabella.”

“Some people search for a fountain Promises forever young Some people need three dozen roses And that's the only way to prove you love them”

“Isabella, you have to talk to me.” “I’m scared but I want this.” “Are you sure?” “Steve, will you take care of me?” “Always Isabella.”

“Hand me the world on a silver platter And what good would it be With no one to share, with no one who truly cares for me”

“Would you?” “Would I what?” “Pick up the shield again?” “Only if I needed to.” “Like?” “To save someone I love.” “So not to save the world?” “Is my loved one there?” “I guess so.” “Then I guess I would save the world. Again.”

“Do you know why you are being punished?” “Because I pouted?” “And?” “Because I lied.” “That’s right princess. So have you been bad?” “Yes” “Address me as sir when I call you ‘princess.’ Got that, princess?” “Yes – yes sir.”

“Don’t ever say that again. You mean more to me than you know. You aren’t a sex slave. Please sweetheart, stop. Stop. It’s ok my Belle. Its alright. I’m right here.” “I miss him. He’s supposed to be here.” “I know baby, I know. I’m so sorry.” “I can’t do this without him. I don’t know how.” “I’ll help you,” Steve whispered. “I’ll be right here.”

“If I ain't got you with me, baby, oh, ooh Said nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing If I ain't got you with me, baby”

“I don’t know that I don’t. everything about this is different. I want more. I want to have people who stay in my life. Can you promise me that?” “I told you from the beginning that I didn’t want that.” “Well, you don’t act like it. I should go.” “No, don’t. Don’t leave me.” “Steve.” “Sweet pea, let me love you.”

She finished the final notes from the song and wiped her eyes, the applause loud from the crowd. She went back to her table and listened to the music for the rest of the evening.

Steve sat back as she finished. She only wanted him. And he wanted only her. But she needed time. He finished his drink and left. He called Bucky. “You were right, she is worth it. And I’m going to fight for her. In two weeks, I’ll be ready.”

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novafire-is-thinking · 1 year

Text

First Contact

OP: In my caste, I may read and I may index, but I am forbidden to analyze.

M: How do you know where to index if you don't analyze first?

OP: I try not to ask myself questions that don't have answers I can do anything about.

M: Who has told you that you can't do anything about the answers? I never even had a name. I went out to die for the pleasure of strangers. Now I am Megatron, and I will fight when and where and for what reasons I please.

OP: Fight who?

M: Those who would tell me... like they tell you... that we do not have the right to determine our own fates. Interesting that even in Iacon my words are being heard.

OP: It is my task to hear all words.

M: But you don't answer all of what you hear. And surely you don't answer all of what you hear on channels that you hide for fear of being eavesdropped on.

OP: No.

M: A great many Cybertronians would love to have Iacon as their home. Yet you are there and still unsatisfied. What does that tell you?

OP: We should meet.

M: Should we? Why would I meet you?

OP: If you have goals beyond Kaon, you’re going to need to tailor your message so it will resonate beyond the castes who smelt ore and die in the pits.

M: Or the rest of Cybertron should learn to understand those castes. Even you do not, and you consider yourself one of us.

OP: Then show me what I do not understand.

The above is the first conversation between Orion and Megatron over the Grid. This conversation in Exodus occurred right after the oft-referenced moment where Orion gets upset about the fact that he does not have free access to Six Lasers—an amusement park reserved mostly for the highest castes. More than one fan has found this laughable and used it to point out how Orion was blinded by his privilege, and while I agree, I also think it’s important to not stop there.

In the above conversation, Megatron called Orion out and put him in his place. Orion could have responded defensively, but he did not. He asked to be shown what he did not understand. His open-mindedness impressed Megatron.

However, I will also point out that Megatron spoke of his personal ambitions more than about the collective goal of his group at the time. There’s a passage in The Covenant that I believe provides excellent evidence that Megatron saw things as him against the world from the start as opposed to him having the mindset of a benevolent revolutionary. I may or may not get around to sharing it in this series.

Motives and Methods

He understood Megatron’s reasons, and perhaps even more than the gladiator did Orion Pax wanted the freedom and initiative that would come with the end of caste and Guild.

Where they differed, Orion Pax suspected, was in method. He believed the change could be created through political means: spreading new ideas, watching them catch fire, attracting enough followers to their vision that eventually the High Council and Sentinel Prime would have to take notice. That was the vision of Orion Pax.

Sometimes he was concerned that Megatron did not have as much patience as he did.

Yes, you read that right. Orion once thought he desired the downfall of the caste system more than Megatron. It seems arrogant, but consider young Orion’s original dream from The Covenant. Without destroying the caste system, there would be no expansion outward. No opportunity for the exploration and discovery he so desired—not just for himself, but for others as well.

What did Megatron want? He wanted to fight. Alpha Trion said in The Covenant that Megatron was “of the line of Megatronus” and that “he was, at heart, born to revolt.” Megatron desired to conquer and control. To fight someone. Anyone. As long as he could fight against something. It just happened to be the caste system, and if others came along to benefit from his revolution, so be it. Meanwhile, Orion wanted there to be a collective, collaborative effort to destroy the system for the sake of moving forward and upward as a species.

So, I don’t think Orion was correct in thinking he wanted to rid Cybertron of its caste system more than Megatron. It’s just that their motivations and methods for doing so happened to be different.

A Social Strategist

“I don't need you to tell me what's easy and what isn't,” Barricade said. But he was already moving to go back inside. Perfect. “Lugnut,” he added with the door open. “Don't let this mech go anywhere.”

Mech, thought Orion Pax. He’s got to put me in my place. Gladiators wore their emotions on their sleeves, it seemed. He wondered if he should have reacted to the insult, or if a reaction would have been too provocative. Then he started thinking that he was being too deliberative, overthinking everything he did, overanalyzing everything others did.

Notice how Orion so quickly came to his conclusions with very little prompting. Typecasting can be an issue, but it’s impossible to navigate life without making some assumptions. In this case, I believe Orion’s assumptions and his gift for analyzing and reading others helped him to understand Megatron’s passionate nature and his tendency to provoke for the purpose of testing another—incredibly useful for strategizing later during the war.

Seeing Clearly

Entropy, or the consciousness of it, was my other companion. This was one reason why Orion Pax, with his dedication and tireless focus, stood out from the other clerks. He seemed to resist the robotic monotony of the data-harvesting enterprise; instead the size and scope of the task invigorated him.

Yet it was not for this that I came to realize that he was to become the next Prime.

It was a combination of observation, research, and raw... it is difficult for an archivist such as myself to say this...

Intuition.

Orion Pax seemed different. He was humble but certain, rigorous in completing his assignments yet unafraid to deliver results beyond or contradictory to the stated parameters.

And when he first began to discern that a few gladiators in the forgotten savagery of Kaon’s pits were beginning to grow into something more—Orion Pax might have been expected to do one of two things. He might have ignored the data as irrelevant, thus confirming the caste bigotry that those gladiators hated. Or he might have passed on the information without comment to his superiors, who might also have ignored them out of caste bigotry or suppressed the dissent without investigating its origins.

Orion Pax did neither of those things. He investigated, analyzed, synthesized—and when that still did not satisfy him, he went to those who were dissatisfied. He learned.

He empathized. Unencumbered by the prejudices of his age, he chose to see clearly.

Again with the intuition and empathy. Orion chose to look behind the curtain and allow his natural curiosity to take him places his peers never dared to go. He didn’t set out to lead a revolution. He didn’t waltz in and play savior. Orion merely followed his curiosity and realized he had the means to help Megatron’s movement in specific ways. He said through his actions: “Okay, I see where this is going, and I’m here. Show me what I need to know so that, perhaps, I can make this easier for all of us.” Orion never implied that they owed him for his contributions to the cause. It was his hope to make a difference and prevent a violent uprising by showing Megatron and other lower-caste bots that he, as an upper caste bot, was willing to use his higher position to work toward the common goal of societal change.

However, he was just one guy. It wasn’t enough for Megatron and the others, and Orion had to learn that the hard way. It’s not that he failed. He followed his intuition and did his best. It’s just a fact of life that, oftentimes, one person’s best isn’t good enough.

Librarian to Luminary

As he left my study, we were both stunned to see that the data clerks had come to the atrium outside, every single one of them. They stood in a double row, perfectly silent, having come just to see their former colleague and to pay their respects to what he had become.

For Optimus Prime it must have been a moment of intense and conflicting emotion. He has not spoken of it to me; since he left at that moment, he has been absorbed in the skirmishes around the perimeter of Iacon. The clerks glean every bit of data about his actions hungrily, as if it were Energon itself that they might nourish themselves with. Some of them would get up and fight if it were permitted, but as I have written, they are all either created not to fight or have been so damaged that field repairs cannot refit them for the battlefield.

If Soundwave had been present during this moment and read Optimus’ thoughts and feelings, I think Cybertronian history might have taken a much different path. Optimus did not choose to become a leader or a figurehead. Perhaps that made him weak in the eyes of those like Soundwave and Megatron, but Optimus was able to see what they could not—that the conflict was likely to end in a Pyrrhic victory.

Megatron charged forward with overconfidence in himself and expected everyone to fall in step behind him. Meanwhile, Optimus walked forward with caution and humbly accepted that many saw him as an inspiration and the keeper of Cybertron’s future.

In the end, both were necessary to wipe Cybertron’s slate clean, but Optimus desperately hoped it wouldn’t have to result in so much destruction while Megatron never really cared how he got his way.

Megatron was destined to be the revolutionary.

Optimus was meant to be a luminary.

✧ ✧ ✧

series master post

#transformers prime #maccadam #tfp #tfp optimus prime #tfp orion pax #tfp megatron #tfp character analysis #tfp analysis #tfp meta #aligned continuity #tf aligned novels #tf exodus #the one and only op ❤️💙#who is TFP Optimus? series #long post #nova’s nerding out again

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heyitsdoe · 10 months

Note

I found you by desperately hunting for more Hawkins content. Just when I thought I read it all I found what you wrote for him and was in heaven! 💗

Would you please be happy to write for him again?

Headcannons or scenario is up to you.

Him and his fem lover are in Wano but to keep Hawkins in line Kaido does something to her? How does Hawkins deal with the knowledge his lover was hurt as a warning to him?

Thank you!

I really liked this idea! Hopefully what I've come up with is to your liking <3 This has a bit more angst than is usually in my writing. Hope that's ok. Thank you for requesting!

A good subordinate never questioned his superior.

Hawkins, however, had never claimed to be anything of the sort. Life was not so rigid that change was unanticipated, and the pirates knew that people and circumstances shifted like the waves of the sea. Even when his loyalty was sworn to a beast, a madman, like Kaido. Perhaps especially so.

The situation in Wano was something he could, to a degree, distance himself from. These people were not his people. Their suffering had been perpetuated long before he ever arrived in the country, and with that thought it was relatively easy to cast the atrocities he witnessed on a daily basis to the side and consider it 'not his problem.' For change to occur, one must take hold of their own destiny and take action themselves.

Even if he'd held the desire to see these people liberated from their troubles and woes—something he really held no strong emotional stock in—what was one man to do against arguably the most powerful Yonko in the world? Being a hero never got him or anyone he knew anywhere.

It wasn't as if he particularly enjoyed seeing the people suffer, it didn't bring him joy. The unfortunate truth was that the will of someone with greater power dictated it must be so. Hawkins was but one pirate, smart enough to ally with someone his superior to ensure survival. If that meant that Wano must burn, must decay and rot outside the gates of luxury where him and his beloved stayed, well...

Turning a blind eye was preferable. And safer. At least for him and those he gave a damn about.

And so he did.

You, on the other hand, never could let things like that go.

"Something should be done." You said once more that evening in your shared suite, preparing dinner as was your routine.

He sighed, patient yet frustrated. Hawkins had returned home a half-hour before, and now sat relaxed on the cushions along the opposite wall of the home the Emperor had provided in the Flower Capital. His careful eye watched the way your shoulder hunched and stayed that when as you spoke of your feelings. This was not the first time the two of you had had this conversation.

"I saw children today, playing amongst the flowers of the capital. Children from Okobore Town, I think They were dressed in rags. No doubt hungry." Your voice was firm and hard-set, clear anger bubbling beneath the facade of calm. "They had snuck into the city in carts and under boxes. They told the guards they simply wanted to pick some beautiful flowers for their mother's birthday."

Hawkins sat pensively silent, knowing what would come next. He was aware of the goings-on from that morning, but revealing this now would only serve to fan the flames of your ire and implicate himself.

Indignation raged like storms behind your wide eyes and furrowed brows as you turned your gaze to him. "The guards took them away towards the prison."

He knew you would not appreciate what he had to say, but he felt the need to say it anyway. "Orochi has forbade entrance into the flower patches without his prior consent-"

"The prison, Basil! They are children! They have done no wrong, caused no harm. Flowers for their mother! That was all they wanted!" Your hands rise along with the volume of your voice.

His gaze was steady even in the face of your rage. "It is still the law here, Y/N."

Your mouth pressed into a firm line. "Then what's Kaido doing about this? You know as well as I he's the one with real power here. What has he to say?"

"Nothing."

You scoff, anger getting the better of you as you turn back towards your preparations of dinner. He troops on, torn between maintaining his calm and guilt that you were forced to live in a place you so despised because of him. He would confront that later, but not now.

Besides, with you being as loud as you were, neighbors may be listening. He had to think carefully on his words.

"Kaido does not have time for such small things. His sights are set wider, as you well know. The day-to-day matters of the country are left in the hands of Orochi. His will is law. That cannot be changed."

Your silent fury is the only response he receives. It stretches for some time, until Hawkins rises from his seat on the cushions and steps behind you, wrapping his arms around you middle to draw your back into his chest. You go without resistance, though he can tell by the tension in your shoulders that the anger has not subsided.

Hawkins is careful to keep his voice low, so that only you can hear. "I know you do not like this place. I'm sorry. When I proposed the idea of becoming Kaido's subordinate, I knew there would be changes that some of us didn't like. I only regret that they are affecting you."

"I understand the need to survive, Basil." You say, your tone indicating that you too were choosing your words carefully. However, unlike him, whether anyone heard was not a concern of yours. "But look around. We do Kaido's bidding without question. We've been here for months, patrolling his streets and eliminating his threats. You no longer give the orders, they come to you from someone above you. Can you even still call yourself a captain?"

That was a bit of a low blow, he thought, but in some sense, you weren't incorrect. Not that he had to like it. He placed a gentle kiss to the top of your head, breathing in and out deeply to calm himself before he said something he regretted.

"We will do what we must to survive."

"This isn't survival. It's indentured servitude." You say with a shake of your head. Even still, he feels some of the fight leave your shoulders and your body relaxes just that little bit more into his. "Can't we take our crew and escape? Can't we just...leave Wano behind and continue on our journey? You're supposed to become the King of the Pirates, Basil. When did you lose sight of that?"

Your voice is rising again, and his anxiety grows with it. Hopefully no one is outside your home listening.

"I never have." A part of him tinged with guilt, trying his best to calm you down so you'll stop talking so loudly. "It's simply had to be pushed to the side for the moment."

"For how long?"

"I don't know, Y/N."

He lets go of you as you turn in place, now looking up to face him with those eyes full of determination and strength. You carefully reach up and press your small hand against his cheek in a tender gesture.

"I've about had it with Wano, and with you being forced to serve another."

"Defying a Yonko is paramount to suicide."

"When has danger ever stopped you? They told you that entering the Grand Line was suicide. They told you reaching the New World was impossible. They told us all these things and yet here we stand, in the most dangerous sea in the world. Alive."

He couldn't seem to muster up a contradictory retort on the matter, so you keep on it.

"You are the Captain of the Hawkins Pirates. You belong on the open seas, not on the streets of a country neither of us belong to. Gather your men and let us leave this place. Perhaps Kaido is too busy to notice a handful of his many subordinates are gone. If he's drunk enough, he won't know for awhile after. Please consider it, Basil."

He doesn't respond for a long moment, simply stands there holding you close to him, his mind a maelstrom of conflicting thoughts.

"Basil?"

"I will...consider it." The hesitation is clear as day, uncertainty of what was the correct course of action, but you knew he did everything in his power to keep his promises to you. His response seems to be enough for now, because you lift yourself and place a kiss to his lips.

"That's all I ask."

His conversation with you days prior was not on his mind when Hawkins was summoned before Kaido.

One would think after months of answering to the Yonko, you'd be desensitized to the sheer size of the man. However, Hawkins felt that familiar flutter of awestruck terror as he stepped into the throne room of sorts to the beastly hulk that was his superior.

He was watched like a particularly amusing bug as he approached closer, finally dropping into a half-crouch in deference to the giant man. His throat dry, and with feelings of insignificance weighing at his shoulders, Hawkins forced himself to lift his gaze to the eyes of the dragon. "Kaido. What do you require of me?"

What feels like an eternity of silence—though was realistically likely only a few seconds—greets the small pirate captain. His heart beats heavy behind his chest, doing all he can not to visibly cower under the power of his master.

"I don't think much of you rookies. Scurrying, barking little dogs that nip at the heels of real power, hoping for a taste of what the generation before possesses." He began, which truthfully did nothing to help Hawkins recognize what this summoning was intended to be about. "I've also been told by many of my trusted subordinates that you have been useful."

Hawkins debated whether a response was expected of him, couldn't come up with one, and so elected to stay silent instead.

Kaido continued on after inspecting the man still knelt before him. "Maybe you've managed to put your pride aside. I know you were a captain, and no captain likes to put away his title and answer to another man. Yet here you are."

"I swore my loyalty to you." Hawkins said, marveling at the way his voice sounded so confident. "I am a man of my word."

"So it seems." Kaido rumbles lowly, tilting his head and reaching down for his jug of sake. He drank several gulps from it and set it back down onto the floor, the impact causing the ground beneath Hawkins to tremor and quake briefly. The subtle reminder of power wasn't missed.

"Those who are useful to me and don't disappoint are the ones still alive. They're also rewarded." He continues on, leaning forward in his chair to look at Hawkins more closely. "A nice home in the capital is just the start. I'm sure you can look around and see what else lies ahead, should you continue your current course."

Hawkins nodded his understanding, but stilled as Kaido's frown deepened.

"I shouldn't have to remind you what failing to prove useful to me will warrant, either. But I'll do it anyway. Better to be sure I don't have a weasel who thinks he's clever rising up the ranks." He leaned back up in his chair and shifted so that his cheek now rested against his fist. With his other hand, he made a shooing gesture towards the door, and Hawkins rose to his feet.

"Go home to that woman of yours and think long and hard about the consequences of breaking your loyalty." Hawkins turned, and heard the deep, intimidating laughter of a man who knew he held all the power behind him. "I'm sure you'll come to see what the right choice is."

Fears swirled in Hawkins' head the entire time he traveled home upon his antlered steed. So much so, his attention was barely on the path before him. Several people quickly get out of his way when it becomes apparent he won't be adjusting his course to avoid them. He didn't even seem to notice this either.

The pirate suspected that his talk with you several nights prior had something to do with it. He couldn't recall any other instance in which Kaido would question his loyalty towards the Yonko. He'd have to speak with you about not voicing your differing opinions quite so loudly.

His mind replayed his entire audience with Kaido, picking apart each word that came from the Yonko's mouth, trying to analyze their exact meanings. Trying to infer threats from simply warnings. Hawkins couldn't quite tell if this were a mercy or only the beginning of the slow decline into extermination.

A flash of your passionate face breaks through the clouds of anxiety that plague him. No. He wouldn't allow any such thing to occur. You and his crew depended on him to keep them safe. He'd do more, offer more, to Kaido than before. He'd prove that he could be a valuable asset not to be disposed of so easily.

Spotting your home in the distance, some of the stress begins to thaw. The promise of holding you in his arms is cause enough to hasten his pace. His steed enters a trot for the last hundred meters distance, and he drops to the ground in front of the entrance.

He prepares for the scent of your delicious cooking as he opens the door and steps through the threshold, but it never comes. His brows descend down, concern beginning to trickle and cut through the relief he'd felt of arriving home.

A single light is on in the corner of the room, almost dim amidst the darkness of the night sky outside of it. You sit amongst the cushions, unmoving, a cup of what he presumes to be tea in your hands. You don't look up at him as he enters the home, head bowed.

"Y/N?" He ventures to say, hesitant for some reason as he approaches. Something nags at the back of his head, at the base of his spine. Something isn't right, but he can't immediately tell what.

Even as you speak, your gaze remains on the cup in your hands. "You spoke with Kaido." It wasn't a question, just a statement.

"Yes."

"I see."

Nothing else follows, and he steps closer to the point where he crouches in front of you, peering into your face. The dull glint of metal around your neck is what catches his attention first, however, and when he recognizes the horrifying contraption, the air from his lungs escapes him in a rush.

You don't even blink when he grasps the collar around your neck and pulls it closer to inspect. Identical to the ones the Celestial Dragons used for their own slaves, yours is comprised of thick seastone, heavy and foreboding in its purpose and meaning. The explosive device anchored along the side sits inert for now, deceptively inactive. Though Hawkins knows with a cold certainty that should the person in possession of your collar's remote feel the desire, the light in its corner would light up red and begin to beep upon activation.

Dread like he's never experienced descend upon him. His fingers still grip the collar, limply hanging there with such defeat and woe that he can't bring himself to speak.

Your eyes are empty and void when you speak.

"He said to tell you...these are the consequences." As hollow as your gaze, your voice is quiet but doesn't waver. You look at him without malice, but lacking the warmth that he'd come to adore in their depths. "I assume you know what that means."

It breaks his heart to see you in such a way, and it's only then that the bruise along the top and side of your face is purplish-black and splotchy comes into view. The dimness of the light in the room had shielded it until now, though as his eyes adjusted, the details were more easily distinguishable. Your lip is split, puffy and red. One hand reaches up to gently touch the damage that he had failed to protect you from. Another blow to his already fractured resolve.

"Y/N, I..." He can't finish whatever he'd intended to say, chest aching and raw. A lump sits at the back of his throat in a way that no amount of swallowing would alleviate. "I..."

Your tone is emotionless. "It wasn't appropriate for me to say the things I did before. I should not have put you in that position. I see that now. It won't happen again."

There is nothing for him to say. Perhaps the words had been yours, but he had been the one to put all of you in this position in the first place. He only shakes his head, fingers trailing gently along the bruising to your face. His touch is light as a feather, not wanting to harm but taking in all of the damage that he saw as his doing.

He should have never allowed this to happen. He should have never sworn loyalty to a man Like Kaido. He should have taken the risk. He should have, he should have...

There was no escape now. Anyone could hold the remote on your collar. And he was but one man.

"I will do whatever I can to have this removed." He says, though even you can tell that the certainty in his voice is fabricated. Nothing more than hope, rather than a promise. He can't promise anything. He lacks the power to ensure it is kept.

You say nothing, only look at him with that woeful, defeated gaze.

Hawkins swears in that moment that no matter what was asked of him, he'd go above and beyond to fulfill it. For you. Nothing else mattered now but preserving and protecting your life. If this was the consequence of his actions, so be it. He had learned his lesson.

A good subordinate never questioned his superior.

#hawkins #basil hawkins #Hawkins x reader #fem reader #one piece x reader #scenario #one piece #lady-winter13

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yuwumeniji · 2 years

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Luxiem x Persona

I am thou, Thou art I

A/N: A bullet pointed brainrot of two different fandoms i have rn.... mmmm.... many thoughts, head full ♡ also... when i think im done, i dont look back (no beta we die like men around here lmao) so im very sorry for the sloppiness lmao

EXTRA NOTES:

i'm seriously in love with this artwork and it became my muse lmao || A lot of the references will be more on Persona 5/Persona 5 Royal || Proceed under the cut!

General

Luxiem - a group of misfits turned phantom thieves who have shaken up society!

both shu and ike are third years, while mysta and luca are both second and first years respectively

vox is a student teacher at the same school as the rest of the boys. he is a history / language arts teacher.

the first palace was infiltrated by luca and shu

the last person to join was mysta due to his wariness of the others

they all meet up at vox's apartment since he's the only one out of the five that lived alone.

A people pleaser; despite his good intentions, he has yet to realize that others are just using the goodness of his heart to fulfill their evil tasks.

Codename: Novelist (He wants to overwrite his past failures and see a brighter tomorrow for himself)

What Triggered A Change Of Heart? : tired of being taken advantage of, ike had realized that he has to be able to think for himself - bearing witness to how cut-throat society really is and how fiends would use his kind-heartedness to their advantage, his persona had manifested as the strength needed to stand on his own two feet and his desire to become independent.

What Is His Persona?: A grotesque, hulking ball of tentacles. no one can see the middle of the creature. ike says that it's a reference to his untapped potential (mysta dismisses it as just something mysterious and didn't want to pry)

His Position: the brains of the operation. leave it to ike to help navigate and come up with creative plans to infiltrate palaces

a childish dreamer, blinded by his own ideals and has yet to be tainted by this cruel world.

Codename: Boss (He wanted to become Number. 1; actually based on an inside joke within their group as he is the one who usually lead discussions, thus leading to everyone in Luxiem calling him "Boss" or "The Big Boss")

What Triggered A Change Of Heart? : The realization that his dreams have long been crushed by the doings of a wicked adult. luca knew he was chasing nothing but a dream, yet it was what kept him going until he felt that it was time to face reality. the anger he feels over being stamped out like this and the idea that a new adventure awaits him had manifested as his persona.

What Is His Persona?: a humanoid like being with a lion's mane and strong arms. has the ability to stand on its hind legs. luca has thought about having a weight-lifting contest with his own persona (the others think it's a little absurd fighting himself since a persona is just an extension of oneself)

His Position: the brawn of the operation. being the massive ball of energy he is, leave the fighting to luca. even in dire situations where the team is surrounded by shadows, luca will find a way to break through via sheer will himself. he is also the most physically capable within the group.

A genius who wishes to be recognized past his intelligence.

Codename: Sleuth (He wishes to seek the truth behind the wicked desires of others)

What Triggered A Change Of Heart? : pushed over the edge, mysta had enough of people blindly praising his intelligence as if his other achievements were only due to the fact of his genius-disposition or of other means - he felt as if this was what trapped in his own fame (or infamy), he wanted to live freely. the manifestation of this desire revealed itself as his persona.

What Is His Persona?: a fox like creature that seems cute at first. if anything is known about mysta, it's that appearances are deceiving - despite the cuteness, mysta's persona is quite vicious and has the ability to rip apart even steel with it's teeth. mysta and his persona surprisingly get along well; his persona has the unique sentience about it and often is seen hanging off of his shoulder or hat when they are in the metaverse.

His Position: the escape artist. leave the escape to mysta, he's the only one capable of driving everyone to safety when the palace starts to crumble into nothingness (at least only one able to escape in time, the rest either don't have a license or don't have a sense of how quickly they need to escape - ike was the one who asked mysta if there were speed limits when escaping.)

The one who watches from the shadows, a witness to the everyday injustices.

Codename: Magician (Like a magician, his dexterity and adaptability in many and otherwise dire situations leave others in awe ; yet, he refuses to share how and why he knows such skills)

What Triggered A Change Of Heart? : the more shu bore witness to, the more he grew sick of it. he felt as though a bottomless pit had formed in his stomach as he watches wicked adults take advantage over the weak - and most importantly, how weak he was for hiding behind this fear, even if he had the means of helping others. his desire to see the world where the weak can live amongst the strong without cowering in fear has manifested into his persona.

What Is His Persona?: another humanoid like creature that stands on one leg. it appears to look like a shikigami with a magician's clothes. shu has tried drawing a face on his persona's paper-like face. he's surprised that it stays on sometimes.

His Position: intelligence master. from collecting data of the big bad they must face to finding who needed a change of heart within the depths of mementos, shu has it all covered. no one really knows how he gathers this much information and doesn't really want to know how either (shu says these are basic things you can find online about anyone, but none of the members want to question if he's actually telling the truth or not)

A young adult pressured by society, once an overachiever now weighted by the burden of life after high school.

Codename: Oni (The group named him Oni due to the appearance of his persona. He went along with the name because he couldn't think of a better one, plus he found it endearing how the group of his closest friends gave him the name.)

What Triggered A Change Of Heart? : vox's anger and desire to do more despite the now limited resources and time he has in comparision to an older adult, or a child. despite being an honours student, vox was hit with the sudden reality check that he can no longer do what he was once able to without being compared to others. he didn't like that at all and wanted to change that perspective once and for all.

What Is His Persona?: an oni-like creature that towered over the rest. powerful and all-mighty, yet regal and somewhat refined. vox wants to invite his persona to a tea party one day.

His Position: the guardian angel. despite his mean appearance, vox cares a lot about the members of the team and shines the brightest during desperate situations. he's the hope and the eldest brother of the bunch and he'll do anything to make sure the operation goes as smoothly as possible with little or no injury to the rest of the boys.

#yuwrote #in a sense they also stole my heart... just not like what the game wants LMAO #my giga chad brain at 3 am:mmm yes why not merge every hyperfixation you have mmmm yeah why not add a little bit of s p i c e to it #nijien #nijisanji #shu yamino #ike eveland #mysta rias #luca kaneshiro #vox akuma #luxiem x reader #nijisanji en luxiem #luxiem imagine #luxiem drabble

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because-its-eurovision · 7 months

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Congrats on 10 000 posts! 🎊 To celebrate, I have a question for you (sorry if you've already answered this): I was just wondering earlier today (while reading the Viisukuppila bulletin board out of boredom), based on the "clues" we have been given of next year's UMK contestants so far, do you happen to have any theories, hopes or sophisticated guesses on who might be participating? 👀

Thank you darling! ❤ My weak spot is that I don't really follow Finnish music scene and only have a vague idea which artists are popular 😅 But let's see what others have to say!

1. A talented artist’s first 90s-style dance song

The Finnish clue specifies that this is the debute song of the artist in question. Reminds me of Keira last year (success in The Voice of Finland and now releasing their first single). Timmy Tattari reached 3rd place in this year's TVoF and has a record deal with Capitol Finland (same as Keira) but hasn't released anything yet. He follows UMK, Cornelia Jakobs and Monika Linkyté on IG but that doesn't prove anything other that he watches Esc. Another candidate is Olga Heikkala, a singer and an actress who announced this month that she's leaving the soap opera Salatut Elämät after five years. No apparent UMK connections or label afaik, but is friends with KUUMAA boys and has performed on their music video.

2. A power song by a true vocal talent

Finnish fans are speculating about Diandra every year, but I have my doubts. Someone suggested Neea River, who rose to Tiktok fame covering Celine Dion. She is Warner’s artist, co-wrote a song for Blanka (Poland 2023), is friends with Benjamin and IG mutuals with Käärijä & Jesse.

3. Perhaps the best song of an indie favourite’s career

Stoned Statues just released their second album. Music magazine Soundi called them “the most promising young rock band of the moment” and Helsingin Sanomat “the new hope of Finnish heavy metal”. They had three Emma nominations and were awarded “upcoming artist of the year” in Indie Awards 2023. I also saw suggestions for Maustetytöt, but are they still considered indie?

4. Two big name performers doing a surprising duo with a serious refrain

The Finnish version of this hint suggests the refrain being “hard”, meaning catchy. Now we only have to find out which artists are considered “big names” 🙃 Abreu & Pihlaja did release a single together in August, although it must be mentioned that Abreu has previously stated that she’s not interested in Eurovision (although people can change their mind like Robin did). Fans are suggesting Sexmane, Isac Elliot and Costee to be the other half of the duo. I just hope we’re not getting the senior department who have no actual chance or desire to compete in Eurovision, like Danny/Tommi Läntinen 💀 Perhaps this is another Pandora & Teflon Brothers situation.

5. A thunderous rock anthem by a world-touring band

I saw rumours considering The 69 Eyes, but-- god please no. Their heydays are over. My own suggestion was Lost Society who could be the Blind Channel of this year. Shiraz Lane is also a possibility and they are from Ranka Kustannus as BC and Cyan Kicks were.

6. A seriously intense song from one of the most listened-to artists in Finland

The streets (X/Twitter) are saying that BESS is back and I wouldn’t mind it at all! Other suggestions are Gettomasa & Sexmane, the latter of which already had his brother Isaac Sene competing in UMK 2022. “Intense” can mean anything though. One possibility could be Bee who just released her first album and was selected as “breakthrough of the year” by YleX. Jodel rumours suggested Evelina, but I have no idea how reliable that is.

7. A hard-hitting club banger by a well-known artist making a comeback

Jenni Vartiainen just returned from a five-year hiatus, moved back to Finland and published a new single. I doubt she’d participate in UMK as a contestant though since she is one of the most successful Finnish female artists of all time and could easily sell out an arena. Perhaps she’ll be the host this year and in return gets to perform the interval number like Antti Tuisku, Paula Vesala & Samu Haber? I'm leaning more towards Tuuli, who was kind of a teen pop star and is now making a comeback with new label and new style of music. One of the nominees for YleX's breakthrough of the year, released her newest album in August.

Bubbling under: At Tapiola Festivaali Käärijä asked the audience how many of us voted for him in UMK, and said “the rest of you voted for Kuumaa and Portion Boys, right?? next year you’ll get Arttu Wiskari and that’s exactly what you deserve” 😌

#I used hours for this research and it was super fun!#asks #umk #uuden musiikin kilpailu #2024

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vickyvicarious · 1 year

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It was in the latter end of August that I departed, to pass two years of exile. Elizabeth approved of the reasons of my departure, and only regretted that she had not the same opportunities of enlarging her experience, and cultivating her understanding. She wept, however, as she bade me farewell, and entreated me to return happy and tranquil. "We all," said she, "depend upon you; and if you are miserable, what must be our feelings?"

1818

It was in the latter end of September that I again quitted my native country. My journey had been my own suggestion, and Elizabeth, therefore, acquiesced: but she was filled with disquiet at the idea of my suffering, away from her, the inroads of misery and grief. It had been her care which provided me a companion in Clerval—and yet a man is blind to a thousand minute circumstances, which call forth a woman's sedulous attention. She longed to bid me hasten my return,—a thousand conflicting emotions rendered her mute as she bade me a tearful silent farewell.

1831

One last comparison from today's chapter - and it's another 'let's remove nuance from Elizabeth to make her more of a caring/supportive woman figure' change!

In 1818, when Victor leaves, she thinks he has a good idea (remember his reasoning was to see more of the world before settling down to married life) and wishes she could do the same. A small moment, but one that ties into feminist themes regarding the difference between treatment of/expectations for men and women. This also reminds me of Safie and Felix; she was quite well traveled, but when moving about under her own power could only go straight to seek a man who would offer her refuge. She also needed to be taught by Felix, including geography which definitely struck me as pretty condescending given her background and a clunky way of ensuring the Creature would know where he was going. Finally, Elizabeth ends by crying and worrying about Victor, leaving him on a question. Not only does that emphasize the uncertainty surrounding his own actions, and even the entire narrative of the novel - it also is phrased in a way to exacerbate his feelings of responsibility towards his family. And of course, thus his failures to meet said responsibilities. If he is miserable, what must be their feelings = their feelings depend upon him, and his failure to be happy/finish things with the Creature manifestly makes life worse for them. Not that I'm saying Elizabeth is intending anything but to express concern, but the way she does so ties in well with ongoing themes and weights on Victor's mind.

In 1831, Elizabeth's reaction is changed dramatically. It might not seem so at first, given that she worries about him in both versions, but let me explain. Rather than considering his reasoning and deeming it worthwhile, this Elizabeth simply agrees to the trip because Victor chose it himself. In 1818 Victor that would have been more of a sign of him coming out of his shell and taking charge or his own life, but since 1831 Victor has already been more consistently doing so, this reaction doesn't read that way. Instead it gives a more passive "well, I trust you, dear" kind of meek wife vibe to me. Similarly, this Elizabeth doesn't spare a single thought for her own desires outside of worrying for Victor; in losing that we lose the feminist angle. She is worried about him suffering away from her, and so provides him another companion, but even then worries because Clerval as a man could never be as dedicated to Victor's needs as she is as a woman. Elizabeth has nothing on her mind but taking care of Victor. She still cried this time, but instead of asking Victor to take care of himself, she instead begs him to return to her soon. This also emphasizes the romantic relationship between them, especially given that in 1818 she doesn't seem to mind him being gone multiple years, while in 1831 she's much more concerned about a trip planned to be less than a year. Finally, by losing Elizabeth's parting question we not only lose how it ties into all those themes of family/duty/failure... she also is literally silenced. She doesn't get a speaking line at all, doesn't get to wish she could travel too, doesn't do anything but worry over Victor and hope he comes home soon.

Not huge changes to the text, but I think it's a pretty decent impact on Elizabeth's character.

#frankenstein weekly #elizabeth lavenza #1818 vs 1831 #the timeline changes are apparently just to fix a slight discrepancy #so they don't really make a big difference

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hyunwooxseong · 1 month

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LOADING … SEONG HYUNWOO

full name: seong hyun woo

age: thirty-five

date of birth: september 27, 1988

gender: cis male

occupation: cto at daehan technology solutions (family company)

neighborhood: wrightsville beach, the four seasons

BEGINNING INITIALIZATION …

hyunwoo grew up extremely wealthy in a family who owns one largest tech conglomerates in south korea. his mother was overbearing and overprotective and he never rebelled until he got married to someone his family disapproved of, sara yoon-castillo. everything was great at first, but it didn’t take his family long to separate the two, just when they were about to start a family together. flash forward five years, hyunwoo ended up on a plane to wilmington to build a relationship with his son who doesn’t even know he exists. no one in his family knows he is here, hence why he zips off to new york city every few weeks to show his face in the company he is supposed to be helping manage. this was a complete impulsive decision and for the first time in life, he has absolutely no plans.

DOWNLOAD COMPLETE …

It was pure stubbornness that brought Kang Youngja’s youngest son into the world. With a pregnancy that all doctors cautioned was not viable and a labor that was nearly a month and half earlier than expected, by all accounts, he shouldn’t have survived. But Youngja did not worry about the health of her newborn son. He would live. The hospitals whose wards operated courtesy of her husband’s donations would ensure it. So the same doctors who warned her that a child so late in life wouldn’t make it through an early term delivery were forced to see to it that he did. So at the end of weeks in the NICU, her younger son was finally taken home. A month after being born, he finally received a name. Seong Hyun Woo, the child whose birth and survival was, as his name suggested, divine intervention.

Despite the perilous start, as Hyun Woo grew up, it would have been hard to tell that he once fought for his life as a newborn. If not for Youngja’s constant reminders that he was a child who came back from death’s doorstep, Hyun Woo himself might have forgotten the fact. He was active and healthy, picking up soccer when he was four. It was probably one of the last things that he was allowed to do for himself. From the moment he entered the best preparatory school in the country, his life was planned meticulously. His days were filled with schooling and then activities of his mother’s choosing. If his older brother, Hyun Bin, learned violin, Youngja ensured her youngest son learned piano. When Hyun Bin started tennis, Hyun Woo began golf. Hyun Bin went to SNU for business and Hyun Woo went to KAIST for engineering. The two were molded from the start to take over their family’s business, working hand in hand to ensure the Seong prosperity never dwindled. And despite having some vision for what his life may look like were he in control, Hyun Woo complied with his mother’s plans. He never desired anything in life so strongly as to bother going against his parent’s wishes.

Of course, this changed the summer he met Sara Yoon, in the most opportune point of his life. The only time when his mother’s entire focus was not divided between her two sons but rather squarely on the first, allowing their relationship to blossom. So while Hyun Bin was going on blind dates with daughters of other conglomerates in the country, Hyun Woo was finally discovering what it meant to want something for himself. So despite his better judgment, and despite knowing that their love was a doomed one from the start, he couldn’t help the way he fell for Sara. His budding feelings went unnoticed until it was too late for Youngja to intervene. Her son had fallen hopelessly in love with a woman that would never be good enough for him, let alone the Seong household. For the first time in his life, Hyun Woo was adamant. His proposal came shortly after his older brother’s wedding, derailing any ideas Youngja had of redirecting his romantic interests.

It was two years later that his mother finally succeeded in splitting the couple up. At the same time he received the best news of his life, learning of Sara’s pregnancy, he witnessed the worst side of his parents who were willing to go to any length to separate the two of them. Even if it meant using every weakness of hers as a bargaining chip. It was with some mustered courage that he had divorce papers drawn up and their whirlwind romance met an abrupt end as they rushed their divorce before his parents discovered her pregnancy. And like that, the only decision he’d chosen for himself walked out of his life. Yet it was not as easy to go back to living life ambivalently. He knew what he lost. He knew the life he could have had. It was impossible to act like nothing happened, or that he didn’t know how low his parents were willing to stoop. Hyun Woo grew distant from everyone around him, isolating himself to avoid confronting his parents about what he had overheard them scheming.

For five years, he watched his son and ex-wife go through life from afar, missing out on all the moments they were supposed to spend together. It was the day he learned of Hanbin’s first day of school that he decided that he couldn’t stay away from his son any longer. Could he live with himself if his son grew up thinking his father didn’t want him? The answer to that question drove him to break his end of the deal he made with Sara over five years ago. Under the pretense of going to the United States to oversee his family’s international offices, Hyun Woo left Seoul for Wilmington, arriving with the sole intention of building a relationship with his son.

#wnc.intro #( m: seong hyun woo )

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0613magazine · 9 months

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042423 Rolling Stone

‘I Poured My Soul Into This Album’: How SUGA Let Go of the Past and Stepped Into His Future

The BTS multi-hyphenate describes the emotional process behind recording the final album in his Agust D series, finding freedom through music, and collaborating with his hero, the late Ryuichi Sakamoto

OF ALL THE BTS members, SUGA is probably the one who is most familiar with the daunting feeling that comes before dropping a solo project — but he’d never released something the size and scale of D-DAY before.

The 30-year-old rapper/producer/songwriter born Min Yunki has two full-length mixtapes using his alter ego Agust D — his 2016 debut, named after his second alias, and 2020’s D-2, both which established him as a ferociously introspective artist. Through his emotionally wrenching raps, he’s also emerged as a bold K-pop star, unafraid to share his reflections on mental health and inner struggles.

But last summer, BTS announced that they would be focusing on solo projects instead of group albums. SUGA was already in the midst of working on the final installment of his planned Agust D trilogy, and he realized that the whole world would be paying extra close attention to what was supposed to be his side project. Suddenly, he felt pressure to stay true to his raw, explosive rap persona as Agust D while still living up to the name of SUGA, the BTS member who speaks at the U.N. and the White House and collaborates with pop giants like PSY, Halsey, and Coldplay.

“Since I had to finalize the trilogy, I wanted to push Agust D by any means,” he tells Rolling Stone on a Zoom call from the HYBE office in Seoul. “Yet in reality, in terms of marketing, SUGA has more presence. There was a heavy pressure to synchronize [the personas of] Agust D and SUGA, and it took a toll on finishing the album.”

In his solo work and across more than 100 songs that he’s helped write for BTS, SUGA has always worked to reconcile different identities and competing desires, wrestling between striving for success yet rebuking material desires, aspiring for honesty yet fearing overexposure, and wanting to meet expectations of the public yet feeling being misunderstood by critics. But on his new album D-DAY, which arrived on April 21 alongside a behind-the-scenes companion documentary, SUGA: Road to D-DAY, streaming on Disney+, he reveals that he’s learned how to conquer these inner conflicts. On the opening title track, he declares that he’s forging a new future, defined only by himself. “Comparing yourself to those floundering in life, inferiority, and self-loathing / Starting today, aim your gun at these things,” he raps.

Across the 10-track project that blends hard-hitting drill beats, affecting R&B, and angsty emo rap, he unleashes philosophical verses that unpack his personal traumas, love and loss, the impossibilities of living under late capitalism and, as always, the hypocrisies of his haters — now with a wisdom that comes with self-knowledge. If 2016’s Agust D represents a SUGA who used rap as an outlet for his intense emotions, and 2020’s D-2 captured a version of him learning to accept himself despite uncertainty, then D-DAY is the sound of a musician who finally understands who he is, comfortably moving through life’s chaos and changes.

Throughout D-DAY, SUGA reflects on the idea of “liberation,” rapping about his search for freedom from the structures of the world and his own anxious thoughts. Yet the album posits that music, and the emotional process of making it, might be a form of freedom in itself. On the single “Haegeum,” a Korean word for “lifting a ban” that is also the name of a Korean traditional string instrument, he makes incisive cultural commentary about digital overconsumption. “Everyone’s been blinded by envy and jealousy / Without realizing that they’re putting shackles on each other / Don’t get swept away by this tsunami of info,” he spits. But when he pleads for everyone to “get on” the track’s grimy drill beat in the hook, it’s as if he’s urging listeners to live in the present by losing themself in the raucous music.

SUGA also proposes liberating yourself from regrets of the past on “Amygdala,” a mournful rap song inspired by the part of your brain that stores fragmented memories of traumatic events. The verses see him making his most personal admissions yet, as he raps about the hardest parts of his life in a frantic string of visions: His mom’s heart surgery she underwent soon after he was born, the motorbike accident he endured as a teenage delivery worker, and “the call I got during work about dad’s liver cancer.” Yet making the song, and taking out those “unpleasant memories” to reorganize them again, facilitated the process of healing, he says in Road to D-DAY. “It’s part of the treatment to bring back bad memories from your past and learn to control those memories,” he explains in the film.

Growing up in Daegu, South Korea, SUGA taught himself how to rap and produce long before he dreamed of becoming a K-pop idol. As a teen, he would practice sampling by making beats from the instrumental scores of Ryuichi Sakamoto, the famed composer and Yellow Magic Orchestra member who died in March at the age of 71. D-DAY marks a full-circle moment for SUGA, who was able to meet and collaborate with his music hero on the album cut “Snooze,” which also features Korean indie rock singer Woosung of The Rose.

Road to D-DAY captures SUGA and Sakamoto’s first meeting, in which they discuss their motivations for music-making and take turns playing each other Sakamoto’s “Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence” on the piano. The delicate piano chords of that classic song and Sakamoto’s string scoring style were SUGA’s inspirations while making “Snooze,” a moving trip-hop song that is dedicated to all the emerging artists who were inspired to create because of BTS, he tells Sakamoto in the documentary. “I wanted this song to give them some strength. ‘I know it’s hard, but it’ll be okay […] I’ll catch you if you’re afraid to fall,’” he explains. It’s a masterful example of SUGA’s ability to offer words of solace to his listeners, as he does on “Life Goes On,” BTS’ Billboard No. 1 hit song that he reinterprets into alternative hip-hop on D-DAY.

SUGA joined Big Hit Entertainment in 2010 under the belief that he wouldn’t have to learn complex choreography. Now, through his years in BTS, he’s become a well-rounded performer, able to pull off slick dance moves, unleash fiery raps, and also play some guitar, which he’s been learning in recent years. Though he’s the first BTS member to embark on a headlining solo tour, which will kick off April 26 in North America, before heading to Asia this summer, he’s humble almost to a fault when discussing his goals for the stage. “I am just a rapper,” he says. “I worried a lot about what’s the best way for me to express myself. But I am not that terrible at playing guitar, so if I showed that to people I thought maybe they would like it.”

Ahead of the album and tour, SUGA spoke to Rolling Stone about collaborating with IU and j-hope, his production philosophy, and whether the Agust D moniker will live on.

In the Road to D-DAY documentary, you said, “When I was working on this album, I wondered if it may be the last piece of work under the name Agust D.” Just to confirm, D-DAY is not your last album as Agust D? No. If you buy the album and look at the “thanks to” section in the liner notes, then you’ll know [the answer to that question]. And if I say it’s the last, then it has to really be the last. A lot of musicians will say they’re retiring and then they make another comeback — I definitely don’t want that to happen. It’s the last of the trilogy, not the last of Agust D.

The stories that I have to tell as Agust D are heavier than those of SUGA, right? I don’t have much energy left in me to continue to tell those heavier stories, because I poured out my soul in this album. But after a couple of months, maybe I’ll have some more stories to tell as Agust D, or I can put stuff out as Yunki, or release things as SUGA. No one knows what’s possible in the future.

So I can’t tell you that this is the last of Agust D. My next album could come out next year, in a decade, or right before I die. Maybe the company said that it would be the last? But this is not where I’m wrapping up. There was the Batman Dark Knight trilogy, but then Batman came back again [in a new movie]. It’s that kind of vibe.

You collaborated with IU again for “People Pt. 2,” after producing, and appearing on, her 2020 single “eight.” What do you admire about her as a collaborator and what kind of synergy do you have together? We needed to work on synchronizing [the personas of] Suga and Agust D, since from a marketing perspective, there was no reason for me to release this as Agust D. But because I have told stories about myself, Min Yunki, through the persona of Agust D, I now had to match it [with the brand of SUGA]. I put a lot of thought into which artist would be the best for this synchronization.

I could’ve included BTS members. Jung Kook actually recorded vocals as a guide for the demo. But If I did the track with Jung Kook, I didn’t want to give the impression of, “Oh, this is another BTS thing!” So I searched for an artist to feature. I already had collaborated with [IU] for “eight.” We already had synergy, and a lot of people loved that song because of our connection. Also, me and her have a good relationship. We are already friends and we are the same age. So I requested that she appear on my song. Because she’s such a busy person, I worried that she wouldn’t accept. Thankfully, she accepted without any hesitation. I’m pretty satisfied with “People Pt. 2.”

For “HUH?,” featuring j-hope, did you give him any sort of direction on how to write his verse?I’ve been doing music for 17, 18 years, but when I’m working with someone else I never pressure them. The genre of that song is drill. I made it with Yijeong [HYBE songwriter-producer EL CAPITXN]. The beat is very difficult. j-hope told me that it was hard [to write on], but I was like, “Just do whatever you want. I’ll organize it all for you later!”

It’s similar to when I was working with PSY, or on “eight,” or making music for commercials. When producing music for others, I would ask them: “What would you like? What kind of song do you want? What do you want me to write?” When someone’s writing a song for me, the same applies and I would tell them, “Do whatever you like” or “Write what you want.” When I first heard j-hope’s verse, I wanted to use it right away. I said, “Wow, you really said what you wanted to say, and it worked!” We just went with it without any edits.

Did you play the album for any of the other BTS members, and did they give you any feedback?The other members don’t really give me feedback. They do, but their feedback feels like, since the documentary film is with Disney(+), I will say it in terms of Disney, their feedback is Disney-like. Always positive. They just say something like, “Wow, the album is sick!” I can’t really feel certain that it’s objective, so I try to rely on external feedback. The members always tell me it’s good. If I show them something that’s not good, they won’t tell me it’s not good. [laughs] I always appreciate them though. They motivate me and give me courage.

For “Snooze,” you collaborated with Woosung of The Rose and Ryuichi Sakamoto, who recently passed away. How has Sakamoto inspired you as an artist and what was it like collaborating with him? This might be a little complicated, but there is this method of reversing samples, chopping and splicing which is commonly used among songwriters a lot. Some people would see this and ask, “Is this really composing?” And it actually is because all these samples are being taken from their original sources and then recorded again. For example, for “eight” with IU, I made the theme in the beginning by reversing and chopping a piece of audio. This process is very common in hip-hop — many hip-hop musicians have used, and are still using, this method. And, in order to do this, you need instrumental songs, songs without vocals that can be put into different structures.

I needed to practice that kind of production through sampling, and I ended up using Sakamoto’s songs for practice. Even before I started producing, ever since I was young, I really admired his compositions, like “Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence” or the score from The Last Emperor. And I used these kinds of instrumental tracks to make my own beats when I was in seventh grade or something. So Sakamoto naturally was one of the legends that I dreamed of meeting, and when I expressed my interest in meeting him, he accepted without hesitation.

I am very saddened by his passing. But when I met him, it was so nice. We didn’t meet musician to musician. It just felt like he was an adult, and I was a child. I really miss him. He was one of my role models. He gladly participated in my album, and the collaboration went so smoothly. We both worked happily on the song.

Also, that song isn’t necessarily me telling just my own story. When people listen to the lyrics, they’ll probably see that. Not only is it about the artists who have come up after me [and BTS], but there’s also the many people around the world who have found solace in Sakamoto’s work.

The theme of the album is “liberation.” What does liberation mean to you? In the past, I knew what that theme meant, and I figured out my thoughts were already resolved in the process of recording it. There was this K-drama called My Liberation Notes [from 2022] that did really well. I had started working on the album three years ago — and then I noticed that it really matched thematically with the drama. I felt and hoped that people were looking for more stories, more discussion on this topic of “liberation.”

Honestly, I didn’t write the song [“Haegeum”] because I was so obsessed with the concept of “liberation.” Haegeum is an instrument. But a while ago, I was playing this rhythm video game a lot. In the game, there’s these songs called “haegeum songs.” [Editor’s note: “Haegeum songs” are songs that you can only unlock in the game by reaching a certain stage.] That was originally the meaning of the song. So I wrote the hook to “Haegeum” about three years ago while I was working on “Daechwita.” Back then, I was composing many songs using traditional Korean instruments. Also yes, I made that beat for “Daechwita,” people seem to not know.

Once I asked myself about what my definition of liberation is, I started unpacking that idea of liberation more [through my songs]. I think viewers will think it’s very fun and entertaining—considering the other kinds of promotions I’ve done. I have confidence. In the video, I’m just living very freely. [Laughs]

The “D” in Agust D stands for Daegu, your hometown. Since you’ve lived in Seoul for a while and traveled all around the world, what kind of place is Daegu to you now? People will always ask me why there’s a space after Agust, and there’s a D. They say, “Is that a One Piece thing?” [Editor’s note: The protagonist of the One Piece manga is named Monkey D. Luffy.] Daegu is very important — of course, it’s my hometown. I feel very comfortable there. And you know, musicians have this pride about where they’re from. I go there pretty often. I go there for makchang [grilled chitterlings]. Also, my parents just like it a lot. It’s a dreamlike place.

Source: Rolling Stone

#2023 #bts #suga #agust d #rolling stone

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thevagabondexpress · 5 months

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Don't know if this is too late and if you had a time frame for these asks things to be sent in but eh.

So, there's this movie I watched the other day (I'm telling you a story, basically, if you hadn't clued in). It's fairly well-known, I'd say, but you know me: I get to things on my own time, even if that's years after a release etc. Anyway, this movie is called Marriage Story.

Honestly, I didn't know what to think going in. I'd just finish sobbing over The Adam Project (also a new movie to me that day) and Si explained to me the strange phenomenon that is Americans bonding with (typically) their fathers over playing catch/baseball, and I was ready for an interesting story where I could hopefully just stare at Adam Driver for most of it.

The whole reason I was even on this sudden movie binge was because I was bedridden after a really bad bout of vomiting the day prior (on top of having a cold, by the way, it just fucking sucked) and the tips given are not to move much or suddenly, rest, keep up fluids, and REST. So, I was in bed, bored, I was bored in bed, and so I got out my laptop and opened Netflix to see what might distract me.

Then this magical thing happened where suddenly I was open to watching new things again. I love when that happens. So, after the emotional roller-coaster that was The Adam Project, I figured Marriage Story couldn't be that bad.

Oh boy, was I in for a ride.

You know those pieces of media that you sink into and you go "wow, neat, this is really good" before the horrorific realisation creeps up on you that you relate to the story or certain characters on a deep and uncomfortable level? Yeah, that was Marriage Story.

You've mentioned before that you don't mind much spoilers, so I'm gonna explain this, although you don't have to read if you don't want to, or if you've already seen it. Anyway. I forget the names of the main characters, but I know the actors that play them. They're Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson. In this movie, Adam's character is a director and he basically runs a theatre company in New York. Scarlett's character is an actress who was on television at one point and is looking to return after she spent a decently long time acting at Adam's theatre company while they were married.

I did not expect it at all, especially considering the way the movie opened, but Scarlett's character hit close to home. She gave up dreams, ambitions, parts of herself to be with Adam. She tells another character that she realised one day that in the flat she owns with Adam, none of the decor was hers. She had no influence in the space. It was all Adam. Even when they had their son, she became just a mother, and it was like her husband didn't even see her (he loves his son though and loved being a father -- we just get the idea that he's a pretty shitty husband). What's more, he scorned television, hated watching it even. Didn't understand why she desired to put her own idea to screen and move away to LA. We see that her life has had to revolve around his their entire marriage. She left LA for him, lived in NY for him, acted in his company and followed his director notes, was his muse, was a mother but barely a wife, she had things about her that she was pretty sure he didn't know simply because he never asked.

Adam was blind to it all. He's so caught up in his world and thinking everything is fine that he doesn't realise his wife is leaving him until it's too late. And then he sleeps with his assistant and his wife finds out. They hadn't even divorced or discussed divorcing yet. A lot of the movie, in my mind, is him realising that his world is not the only one. That the person he lived with and had a son with for years is another entire person with their own thoughts and feelings.

But we also see he has his struggles too and I couldn't help but feel bad for him. I almost wanted him to win back Scarlett as a changed man. By the end of the movie though, she has a boyfriend, and things seem to be more harmonious in the separate household arrangement they have with their son now that they're divorced. The end of the movie is also when we hear the list she made at the start when they attended couples therapy where she named all the things she liked about Adam. At the start of the movie, she didn't want to read her list, but the audience heard it when she wrote it. We hear it again, maybe a year later in the narrative when her son finds it by accident and Adam reads it, not realising what it is until halfway through when he starts to choke up.

Because her list was honestly beautiful. She talked about how much all of this sucked because she would always love him even though he drove her crazy and made her want to leave. On some level, I think, she felt he did not love her because, as she mentions earlier on in the movie, he didn't even really SEE her, and yet she loved him, so it all still hurt.

And, I don't know, something about that movie had me crying even harder than when I watched The Adam Project. In hindsight, it was probably some pre-period hormones mixed in with me being physically exhausted from being sick. But we also know I cry fairly easily in movies anyway. There's just something so heartbreaking about wanting to be seen though. I think it's a universal desire, almost. Because, of course, no one's gonna see us better than ourselves most of the time, but other people can get pretty damn close, so it's when someone starts going way off the mark that it hurts, especially when they're supposed to be someone close to you.

There's my story about story that's about another story.

okay so it seems we both had experiences with movies/shows that Hit Really Close lately.

tonight we decided to pull up a Deep Space Nine episode which we have not done in. an age. besides which we did movie night as a full family again for the first time in a while and i'm not showing blue eye samurai to my mother. anyway.

we wound up with a jadzia dax episode. in this one she undergoes a trill ritual where her friends take on the memories of previous dax symbiont hosts so she can meet all of the people whose memories she's carrying around with her, and see how they've become a part of her and influenced who she is as a person.

and. let me tell you.

jadzia's episodes always hit hard for me because you of all people will know my obsession as a person and as a writer with digging into myself and who i am and peeling back all of my layers and finding out why i do this and that and what makes me, well, me, and how even the slightest difference in circumstances might make that change. and jadzia (trill stories in general but jadzia in particular) is such a great metaphor for and taking-literally-of the way that we're all a collection of things we picked up from the people around us, things that stay sometimes long after the person in question has left our lives in one way or another.

'zia getting to talk to each of dax's other hosts, to have her hair brushed by one, to talk about council speeches with another, to discuss gymnastics and klingon martial arts with one host and then beat the crap out of another when he overtook the man embodying him, to talk curzon down from a reckless decision in order to get a friend back and in the process show just how much curzon shaped jadzia . . . but also how strong she can be without him.

and in the end, jadzia thanks odo for embodying curzon, for showing dax the freedom of being a shapeshifter. and odo thanks jadzia, and thereby curzon, for showing him the joy that humanoids get from eating and drinking (things he'd physically been unable to do before) and staying up all night gambling (something he'd never been able to understand before).

we are each a matryoshka of personas and the events (and people) that shaped them. we are each a thousand alternate universes. we are all made of many facets.

damn.

(also, i don't have a timeframe for ask games at all. but if it's more than a week old i do ask that you either write out the question or link back to it so i can remember what, say, "no. 4" is)

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lake-archive · 7 months

Text

Track 1

Fandom: Hypnosis Mic

Series: Three CATZ In The Bag

Characters: Ole (OC), Original Character

AO3 Link

Track List - Track 2

When thinking back on society years ago… The times were not much different on the surface. However, this would just be that to the blank eye. Life was proceeding as it usually would, no ifs and buts. Then again, what were most people supposed to do? They had too many worries. Surviving, making money and scrapping by – That was their main concern, understandably so. You would have to be an animal to have that much time on your hands, a pet. Perhaps a cat who has an owner taking care of them, making sure they have a comfy place to sleep and the food always ready in a bowl. After all, it was either that or sleeping all day long.

The leisure of never having to worry about anything else in the world. Of course he could always choose the path of an easy life but the current circumstances would not allow Ole such a thing. Or rather he had made the decision to himself to not ignore these circumstances, not when his very own owner had been affected by these circumstances. Long story short, things had turned complicated, or the cat had quickly realized that things were never as easy as they seemed for the young person. And it had all gone downhill not too long ago, a few days to be exact. Nowhere to go, no warmth to come back to. All because they have finally managed to follow their own path.

“Going against orders again!? But this time you also threw your future in the party away!? Ugh… If you are going to be like this, you can just leave! Ungrateful brat!”

It even echoed in the cat’s ears and the next thing he had seen was his owner shoved out of the door and their mother had closed it with one massive swing. And then silence had kicked in yet it was a result of how things had turned out. And they were just in the unfortunate situation that their mother was a massive supporter of the Party Of Words. So seeing them being kicked to the boot, something they desired, would of course cause an unpleasant reaction.

And yet, they took it, just like that, and left. It was there where Ole knew he could not sit idle… And that his owner would be more than willing to fight. Even if it were selfish reasons, someone had to make a change. And this cat just happened to have had enough time on his paws to desire to fight for this change. He just had a bad feeling about all of this. Maybe it was within an animal’s instinct.

When wandering around town on his own he had seen it all – The unnecessary yelling, the complaints of the male population, a clear dissatisfaction. So much mourning, so much screaming, so much drinking. And yet, life wasn’t exactly the worst, but it was all visible nonetheless. It was somewhat depressing. And even more when taking his owner into account. Where would they even place? They were overlooked, were they not? And it had strained the family as a whole, at least what he had heard from their mumbling.

“I haven’t seen Dad in a while… I hope he’s doing alright… I should go visit him.”

“If Mom would not be a blind follower… Maybe then— All of us… Damn this!”

It was quite whispers which they had kept to themself. They were not happy about this state either yet were not too certain what to do about it, even after having snapped and now being all alone. It was a difficult time, to say the least. The last straw. And maybe now he could propose his idea. Yet he had to wait for the right time, perhaps even a little bit of luck. The odds were not against this cat, he knew that much. Because he could only guess where his owner had been headed.

Even as the two were wandering through the streets, still not having found any shelter. It showed for them both. Ole’s black fur was all messy and wet from the rain, smelling a little. Not the most pleasant feeling. His white spots on the belly and paws? A little gray, no chance to clean himself up. Actually, cats and baths do not go well yet this time he would not mind one. Not even he would touch his own fur with his own tongue, it was too much to expect.

His owner was facing a similar problem with their own self care. He honestly could not see their colors, his own view being as black and white as always, yet he could still get down the basics. They were smelly, very. Their long hair was messier than usual. Their clothes were all torn apart, soaked wet, and started to smell like the street itself. That was not a pleasant smell. Yet it was the only pair of clothes they had at the moment, even if it was something they did not seem to like to wear: A shirt and a jacket were ok. Though it was all see through from the amount of rain which had poured down. But a skirt? That was a no go but it was what they had been wearing when thrown out. They were ready for the trash, or so they had joked. Perhaps if they had anything with them they would get a new batch but things were not that simple. Needless to say, they looked hunched down, just barely walking. It was concerning but what was a cat supposed to do? Well, not yet at least… But whenever looking up his ears would droop. All of this had to happen… All because—

“Huh? Look what we got here~” A voice would interrupt all of a sudden, a male one, making Ole and his owner suddenly stop. Or rather, the cat would come to a halt when his owner did, ears wagging yet his usually wide eyes staring a little with annoyance. The tone… He knew it all too well… It’s one of those again, isn’t it?

“Little Miss, it’s dangerous to walk home alone y’know.” The guy continued, making Ole’s ears perk up. One word… One word which might be insignificant to some but by now even the cat learned his lesson. Then again, he was not that surprised in the end.

And yet he was forced to sit this one out. Then again, it would be fine, they can handle this themself. Should it escalate though, he was ready scratch non stop. Yet there had been no need for this yet… It could change anytime though. But it was very unlikely. After all, they can handle themself just fine. And besides, they can speak for themself. He would just meow.

So, shortly after their shoulder had been touched they turned in one swoop, their expression being anything but grateful. Instead they just glared at the man who was only a little taller than them, slightly growling, at least for a moment.

“Repeat?” They asked, though it sounded more like an order. Not like it bothered the guy, judging from the shrug.

“Little Miss, it’s da—”

And yet a sudden loud interruption. “Little Miss!? Miss!? I’m not a Miss y’know!”

Masterlist - Track 2

#Nimue's Lake #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #original character #male original character #hypnosis mic oc #hypmic oc #hypnosis mic #hypmic

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paytonslitreviews · 7 months

Text

A Literary Review and Analysis of Gabriel García Márquez’s “A Very Old Man With Enormous Wings”

Gabriel García Márquez’s short story, “A Very Old Man With Enormous Wings,” tells the story of an old, winged man who has crash-landed in the courtyard of a home belonging to Pelayo, Elisenda, and their then-newborn child. Not knowing what to do, the couple calls in the help of a neighbor woman “who knew everything about life and death” and are told the man is not a castaway as the couple had first believed but an angel. The couple locks the man in a wire chicken coop with their hens and wake one morning to discover the entirety of their neighborhood crowded around the cage entertaining themselves by throwing the man scraps like “a circus animal.” The local priest, Father Gonzaga, arrives at the home to do his own examination of the man and quickly suspects him an impostor, warning the crowd “against the risks of being ingenuous.” However, this advice is ignored. With the number of onlookers increasing rapidly, Elisenda has the idea to begin charging five cents admission to see the “angel.” Pilgrims arrive from far away to see the man, and Pelayo and Elisenda quickly become very wealthy. Carnival attractions show up at the residence, one of them a “woman who had been changed into a spider for having disobeyed her parents.” The allowance to ask the woman anything they desired, the “sincere affliction with which she recounted the details of her misfortune,” and the winged man’s propensity for performing “consolation miracles”—a blind man gaining three additional teeth, a paralytic almost winning the lottery, etc.—all served to completely draw the public’s attention away from the man and toward the spider-woman. With the money they have earned, Pelayo and Elisenda build a luxurious two-story mansion. When the winged man’s health begins to decline, the couple worry the man may die, only because they do not know what to do with a dead angel, but with the eventual arrival of the next spring, the man’s condition steadily improves, his wings growing “large, stiff feathers.” The story ends with Elisenda watching the winged man succeed in taking flight and disappearing into the horizon.

“A Very Old Man With Enormous Wings,” is captivating in its exploration of human nature and seamless incorporation of the fantastical. Originally published in Spanish in 1955, it was later translated and published in English in 1972.

The quick introduction of the character of the winged man draws the reader in and the subsequent cruelties that are done to the man keeps their attention. The story is written in a style that is largely simplistic. The language is easy for the reader to understand and the plot is easy to follow, yet the thematic meaning of the story can be interpreted in several different ways. The people in this story seem almost unsurprised and disillusioned with magic and the fantasy elements we see in the story—the winged man and the spider-woman. They seem less awed by the winged man’s existence and more with the possibilities of what he can do for them and possibly also the mystery of his true nature. This seems to imply that the people of this fictional world have seen magic and have long accepted it as reality.

Also written simply is the casual cruelty and abuse inflicted on the winged man. Immediately upon the discovery of the man in the couple’s yard, the detail that the neighbor woman advised them to “club him to death,” and their response that they “did not have the heart” to do so is presented with an absurd sense of normalcy, which continues throughout the story. It begs the question: is it just the unusual presence of wings on an otherwise very human man that makes the townspeople abandon the standard of respect that all people deserve? Is it the wings in addition to his overall downtrodden and helpless nature? Which leads me to the message that I find in this story—people often view others that are different or disenfranchised or reliant on others as being lesser than. There are so many groups of people, both historically and today, that can be represented by the winged man and the way he is treated in this story.

Another element that I found interesting in this story is the possible commentary on mob mentality. We see this in several instances, such as when Pelayo and Elisenda go into the courtyard one morning: “they found the whole neighborhood in front of the chicken coop having fun with the angel … tossing him things to eat through the openings in the wire as if he weren’t a supernatural creature but a circus animal,” and later they, “pulled out feathers to touch their defective parts with, and even the most merciful threw stones at him … they burned his side with an iron for branding steers.” Everyone in the crowd feels comfortable participating in this abuse.

A lesser but still notable point made in the story is the discussion, perhaps even satire, of the Catholic Church. When Father Gonzaga conducts his inspection of the winged man, he greets the man in Latin, with the text stating, “The parish priest had his first suspicion of an impostor when he saw that he did not understand the language of God or know how to greet His ministers … and nothing about him measured up to the proud dignity of angels.” He then reminds the gathered crowd that “the devil had the bad habit of making use of carnival tricks in order to confuse the unwary.” He then promises to “write a letter to his bishop so that the latter would write to the Supreme Pontiff in order to get the final verdict from the highest courts.” I won’t go on about this critique of the Catholic Church, but there is something to be said about the Godly authority given to Catholic officials, the excuse of Satanic trickery in order to deny what is in front of them, and the strict hierarchy of the Church.

Finally, I believe the ending of the story speaks to how unappreciative we as humans often are and also to how those profiting off the suffering of others do not give credit or regard to those suffering. By the end of the story, Pelayo and Elisenda have enough money to build a mansion “with balconies and gardens,” buy whatever their hearts desire, and quit working altogether—as a direct result of the exploitation and abuse of the winged man. However, even then, the couple continues to treat the winged man as nothing but a subhuman nuisance. At one point, the text states, “the exasperated and unhinged Elisenda shouted that it was awful living in that hell full of angels,” the hell being their lavish mansion. Only when the winged man’s health is declining, the story says, “Pelayo threw a blanket over him and extended him the charity of letting him sleep in the shed.” The winged man had been on their property for years and was only then given shelter for the first time. After the man takes flight and leaves the couple’s property, the story concludes with Elisenda watching him disappear “because then he was no longer an annoyance in her life but an imaginary dot on the horizon of the sea.”

In my opinion, “A Very Old Man With Enormous Wings,” is a captivating and thought-provoking story, and Márquez’s writing is able to evoke a range of emotion from the audience. We are left reflecting on the themes of this story where many things are left unrevealed to the reader and contemplating the many points Márquez has made about human nature.

Márquez, Gabriel García. “A Very Old Man With Enormous Wings.” The Big Book of Modern Fantasy, edited by Ann Vandermeer and Jeff Vandermeer, Vintage Books, 2020, pp. 66-70.

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