Seirios
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Word Count: 22,331
Characters: Roman, Virgil, Deceit, Remus, Logan, Patton, Emile, Remy, Thomas
Pairing(s): Prinxiety, Loceit, Remile
Warning(s): minor character death and death mentions, implied bad parenting (minor), slight violence, not physical, unrequited romance, kissing, crying, panic attack, ptsd, blood, face and eye injury, scar mention, knives mention, hospital mention, very slight gore (just in an emotional description), insomnia mention, Passing out, apparent major characters death (tell me if I missed anything!)
Summary: It's hard for kids to fall asleep. It's especially hard for Remus when he can't help but stare at the night sky, mesmerized. That's why his guardian and uncle Janus decided to tell him a bed time story about two stars' lives and adventures along with the Sun and the Moon. Janus surely didn't expect for the storytelling to lead them to meet the local astronomer, Logan, not to mention develop a stronger bond with him. The best bit? All of his stories were true. Meet Janus Hydra, a fallen shooting star become human, and come listen to the events he witnessed while in space.
A/N: This is my entry for @ts-storytime ! A big thank you to @i-am-overly-complicated for the moral support and some suggestions, and to @crazydemigod666 for beta reading the fic, love ya bud. I worked super hard on this, I hope you all enjoy! Taglist will be added in a reblog.
✾
❝ It's you, it's you, it's all for you,
Everything I do.
I tell you all the time,
Heaven is a place on earth with you. ❞
He knew nothing of the sky.
He would look out of the window at night and glance up at the starry empyrean, wondering how it was possible that his mother had been part of those celestial entities.
And maybe, now that she was gone, he hoped she was part of them again, the stardust she had left behind now scattered across the universe.
« Remus? » his uncle Janus knocked on the door to his room and peeked inside. « Ready to settle down for the night? »
The kid sighed and stepped away from the window he was resting his arms and head on; sleeping was the part of the day he hated the most, there were so many things awaiting him, ideas in his head he wanted to get out in the real world, how could he simply lay dead doing absolutely nothing for eight hours straight?
Resting was too boring and Remus could think of more than a few things to do in its place.
Janus took a couple of steps in his nephew's direction and held out a hand to him like he was doing a grand gesture.
« Is the little duke in the mood for his sleeping duty? »
« Don't think so. » Remus shrugged and glanced at his bed with disinterest.
He pretended he didn't notice his uncle's small sigh and that expression that always seemed to show veiled compassion whenever the kid wouldn't comply.
Janus thought that Remus was a wonderful child, probably the strongest one he'd ever met, there was nothing he was not grateful for when it came to him: only a couple of years had passed from Angy's death, along with his father leaving him behind right after, and there wasn't a day in which he had let himself feel defeated.
After all, Janus had realized that he was the one to really need the other during that period.
Yet there was that one little detail Remus couldn't get himself behind, which was the need to lie your body down and prepare yourself for the following day. He could struggle all he wanted, but there was no way for either of them to find a solution.
Until Janus posed that fateful question in his mind: what would Angy do in this situation?
He raised his eyebrows as the best option surfaced.
Remus watched him tap his finger on his chin, looking around the room for a seat until he brought one in himself, placing it next to the bed the eight-year-old was now sitting on.
Anguis Hydra had been a shooting star in the sky and a writer on Earth when she fell along with her brother, and if there was something her brother knew best was that the finest solution to any problem she had found was storytelling.
Her readers had given her the nickname of “Angst Hydra”, for how much pain they felt thanks to her books.
Little did they know the stories were real: stories based off of other stars encounters they had had during their travels, her memory her sharpest tool.
« Did Angy ever tell you about the most luminous star you can see from the Earth's sky? »
Janus saw Remus's little eyebrows furrow, sign of a notion that was new to him. He brought his legs to his chest as he leaned on his pillow.
« It's actually a binary system, which is composed of two stars orbiting around each other. »
« Is it the … Sirius system? » Remus seemed to recall, his eyes narrowed in uncertainty.
Janus nodded. « Good job. So, all earthlings know about them is astronomical details, the usual research stuff, right? »
The kid made an agreement noise, curious to where that was gonna land.
« They call them Sirius A and B, but as you may expect there's a lot more into it. » he leaned in, his voice barely above a whisper. « Your mum and I had the occasion to meet them and witness their life events. » he could already notice the excitement growing in Remus's eyes. « So, want to listen to their fairytale? »
« Will there be chaos? »
« You have no idea. » both of them grinned as the kid settled in the only right way he knew: wrapping himself up in a blanket burrito and using his pillow as a seat.
« I'm ready! »
« Keep in mind that it's a long story, so we won't be able to cover all of it tonight, alright? »
Remus nodded despite defeated; Janus, on the other hand, knew that if he managed to get him hooked on the tale, he could have made his nephew look forward to bedtime and made things relatively easier.
A win-win situation.
The man turned off the room's lights only to switch on the bedside lamp with green LEDs.
« Alright little duke. » he moved in a comfortable position. « It's time for you to learn of the dance of the stars during the sunset, the moment the sun and the moon meet to leave each other's place to one another. »
Remus had never heard of such a thing, it was a simple tradition his mother and his uncle never took part of as their star selves happened to be constantly moving around with no time for grand events.
« But let's start from the beginning: let me introduce you to our beloved protagonists. »
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There were two notions stars were born with: the concept of the moon and the one of the sun.
They were aware there were multiple ones depending on which solar system they were close to, which planet they were taking into account.
But if there was a third piece of knowledge Virgil was certain of, it was that ever since he'd seen him from his little spot, he had been in love with the sun.
Such a titanic star shielding his own much smaller one.
When he was little, he'd look up at the sun and find a hero, a role model he had always been eager to follow: now, whenever he did that, he longed for contact and the revelation of his gorgeous self he wasn't yet able to meet from afar.
Casual passerby stars or nebulae narrated their encounters with the sun, encounters of which Virgil only grew jealous.
His admiration could only grow as much as he couldn't even fathom the grandiosity of those meetings, as he still wondered what was the intensity with which the sun's eyes glowed, the warmth of his protection and his benevolence.
« You want me to tell you about Emile, little one? » Patton was one of those nebulae that had been already circulating for a while and were old enough to attend a very important event that a myriad of stars took part in.
He hadn't quite realized why Virgil was so eager to meet the sun, but hadn't questioned it once since he'd met him.
« Well there are quite a few tales I can tell you about him! »
And so he did and Virgil found himself hanging onto every single word that escaped the other's mouth.
The little star could do nothing but wait for more stories as he grew along the space around him, hoping that maybe one day his orbit would find him.
Everything was going to change once he'd reached stability and joined the
Sunset's Ball.
✾✾✾✾
« The what? » Remus's sleepy eyes questioned Janus.
« One thing at a time, Rem. » the adult brushed some locks from Remus's forehead. « I'll get there later. But first, there's someone else you need to acknowledge. »
✾✾✾✾
Roman had always been aware of his star title: Sirius A. Thanks to that, he had also always known how he was part of a binary system.
Ever since then, he had been more than eager to meet the other star of his system, dreaming of one day finally finding a friend in them, like he had found in Patton, who would always bring news of Virgil.
He had learnt his name thanks to the nebula and mentioned it in his thoughts and conversations like he was a lifelong friend.
Roman's star was bigger and brighter than Sirius B, greatly shielding its vision.
He felt lonely during his growth and stabilization, anyone would have been intimidated by his star dimensions, therefore the visits paid to him were far less than the ones reserved for Virgil.
Yet he would spend his days trying to get someone's attention and, eventually, he'd stop to look down at the other star and wonder when their meeting would come.
Would it come at all?
Star dances were commonly known, but many happened during the day, so one wouldn't be sure of who they were going to end up with until their very first Ball.
That type of dance was the only one performed by stars, it occurred daily and it was a celebration of either sunset or sunrise, the moments in which the Sun and the Moon met and exchanged greetings, only to swap places with each other.
Only the most important stars could participate, once stability was reached and they were certain that they would've caused no harm to others: the floating palace in which they took place had been the same for millennia and not a single wrong move had been done to endanger it, it had now become a pillar in their history.
Reaching that place was kind of a rite of passage for the stars and proof of respectability for Roman since, compared to the Sun, he and some other stars were far bigger.
Yet, humans had praised the Moon and his partner as actual gods in various religions and cultures, along with other planets they had acknowledged.
So the bigger celestial objects resonated that their importance still varied and wasn't related to how they presented, but rather to who they were, thus they learnt to stand their ground.
And even so, Roman's true goal had always been a different one.
He was going to meet Virgil, one way or another.
✾✾✾✾
Remus's head hit his uncle's arm lightly, a tiny bump against Janus's sleeve; the man took a break from his storytelling after noticing that the boy's eyes were closed, having finally resigned to the heaviness of sleep, smiled to himself and tucked his nephew in bed.
He followed his nightly routine as well which consisted of watching tv until he passed out and woke up way too early for his schedule, only to go back to sleep in his room for a couple more hours.
If only that night had gone exactly like that.
Janus had touched his mattress at around the same indecent time he did normally and fallen asleep minutes after.
Flashes happened and now hands were on his face, twisted and disappeared, turning into a pair of green eyes that were looking fondly at another woman. They laughed and held hands and he had a knot in his stomach as he hugged him a little too tightly. And Janus was breathing, then not, then sobbing, then he knew her happiness came first because the world was so cruel to him. Then Janus smiled, then he didn't, he held his breath as she stopped altogether and then the green-eyed man left. And he?
He woke up.
Barely three hours had passed and he was already sitting up, hugging himself and resting his face on his knees, his expression contorted in a multitude of unpleasantries.
That was not possible.
He was over that, he was over him, there was no need for his subconscious to resurface the majority of his life's regrets so far.
There was definitely no need to remember, to say the least.
What he was gonna do now was going back to sleep and never think about that dream ever again.
Of course, he actually laid awake to stare at the ceiling blankly until his alarm went off, which he turned off automatically, solely moving his arm.
He had looked into the mirror once he had gotten to his bathroom and forced a smile on, but the usual sparkles stars emanated when happy didn't surround his skin.
When he had gotten Remus to school, the kid had pointed out how darker his eye-bags had become lately.
« Can I get matching ones? »
« No, lil duke, better not. » you're gonna end up like this eventually as an adult.
Janus was sick of the constant pitiful glances he got from his co-workers when he had a bad day, the whispers they passed between each other, the fake respectability they kept when he was in a low mood.
None of them personally knew Janus on a close level.
So, as he thought, none of them could have felt entitled to initiate a conversation on a low-key personal topic.
Yet, there a man was, sliding a card on his desk.
« He's a good therapist, I've heard. If you … you know, have any troubles or if your nephew- »
Not even a glance at the name and Janus's insides were revolting. « We don't need it. » a tight-lipped smile set on his face. « Thank you anyway. »
The man almost ran away at that, embarrassed and frantically looking back at his own work position.
Janus took the card in his hands.
Those same innocent and achingly beautiful green eyes stared back at him; Clyde Davis had been his brother in law for as long as Anguis had been alive, once on Earth.
He didn't mean for his memories to overcome him yet again, but here he was, almost blinded near the day of the death's anniversary.
His eyes fixated on the nothingness right above the floor as thoughts flew by his mind: Angy and him had just fallen on Earth, somehow adjusting to the humans' costumes in no time.
They had some slip-ups when it came to ethics and morality, that was why when it came to the realization of feelings the two brothers had different experiences.
Who would've thought humans were so idiotic to banish certain natural forms of love such as the ones not stereotypically between a man and a woman? (the issues on gender identity and sex were also introduced to them on that planet, as stars lacked the concept despite their anthropomorphic forms)
Who would've thought Janus had to find out from the news right after realizing he had gotten a crush for the same man his sister had fallen in love with?
Sure, it was easier to let her happiness come first that way, but it didn't mean his feelings were hurting any less.
If anything, he was constantly mixing joy and guilt, some sort of bittersweet ending that didn't sit right with his emotions, but it did with his conscience.
Wrong wasn't how he felt at Anguis and Clyde's wedding, but maybe more relieved as he was sure that way his love could've dissipated.
At least he hoped so, especially since he was going to live alone from then on.
He thought distance had worked, but then Remus happened and he visited more often than ever, especially since the boy resembles the two people he loved the most.
The circumstances didn't help him, but he had learnt to disguise how he felt better.
Janus thought nothing could've shattered that nice picture.
And then Anguis fell ill.
Some kind of immunodeficiency, a state that saw her body shut down as a star that slowly died and stopped lighting up the night sky.
He had seen her eyes turn black, he had known all along what it meant, but he did not want to accept it. Only deny it to himself as he was now living at her place, helping out when he could.
When the fatal day occurred, Janus, Clyde and Remus were standing by her as her skin got almost colder than the bed she was in.
It hadn't sparkled in too long.
She knew what was going on, she had intimated them to say goodbye as much as they didn't want to; she looked unfairly defeated.
As the time struck, her body stiffened and everything left of her was stardust that emanated its final glow.
Janus's memory had blocked out everything that came after, especially the funeral.
Of course, he couldn't have forgotten the day Clyde came to him, his eyes now dull and distant, He wanted to leave, start a new life and leave behind everything else because he could not bear to look at Remus or him and be reminded of Anguis.
Clyde asked him to take Remus's custody and for the first time Janus had wanted to punch his face rather than kiss him.
But he had instead accepted, not out of empathy, but because he had become so lost that he wasn't sure his reality was so truthful anymore.
Remus had been a blessing, saving him from negativity more than he could with himself. He was a wonder, that kid.
Janus had zoned out for so long that he came back to Earth only as he was sitting on an armchair at home, while his nephew played with some toys right behind him.
« Hey. Did you know you're a wonderful kid? »
« I thought that was obvious. Also, gross, I'd rather be called stinky! » he hadn't even looked up from his creation.
Janus snorted. « Of course. » he made to get up and make dinner.
Later in the evening, Remus had climbed onto the counter and stared at Janus, who was leaning against the furniture while drinking some warm tea.
« I'm going to the astronomy museum tomorrow! »
« I know. »
« Don't you think it's time for a story then? »
The man giggled. « Are you bribing me? »
« You've been brooding all day, uncle! » he jumped back down, and hugged his waist only to pull him out of the kitchen.
Janus did his best not to stumble. « Alright, alright, we need some time-out time. » he picked his nephew up and in a minute they were settled for their storytelling.
« So- »
« Did dad show up? »
He fell silent, baffled by the sudden question. He gave Remus a puzzled look.
« You always act absent when something related to him happens. » the kid explained.
Who gave an eight-year-old the right to be that smart?
Janus opened and closed his mouth several times. « Well- Not exactly. » he scratched the back of his neck. « They talked about him. I think I might have gotten … triggered? » he wasn't sure whether or not that was the right term to use. But he did feel numb for the majority of the day, despite the flashbacks.
« Well, fuck him. »
« Rem- »
« No, fuck that guy. » Remus raised his voice more, but Janus didn't find it in himself to stop him. « he just dropped his burdens on you and left like a coward! Fuck that bullshit! » his face was red with anger.
« I know. But dear, you're not a burden. »
« I don't even care if I am for him. »
« Let me finish. » Janus used the calmest tone possible to balance out the other's upset. « As much as you don't agree with what he's done, you have to remember everyone's got their own way to cope. »
He sighed, eyes fixed to the floor. « In his case, he could've probably been a bad parent for you and decided to trust you with me rather than himself. He knows I love you just as much, so he wanted you to be in a certainly safe environment. »
Remus wasn't still entirely convinced.
« The thing is, he feared not being able to raise you the way you deserve. You still have all the right to be angry at him, of course. But you need to know that you didn't do anything bad for this all to happen, okay? »
The kid bit the inside of his mouth. « Yeah, I know. You've told me plenty of times. »
« Repetita iuvant. And honestly you've been of help more than he would imagine, so … yeah fuck him. »
The duo snickered and gave each other a matching mischievous glance.
« But seriously, no swearing like a sailor until you're older, okay? At least not in front of other adults, you know how they get easily impressed. »
« Ugh, they never let me do anything fun. »
« Capitalism. »
« What? »
« Nothing, let's carry on with the story. Tonight, Virgil and Roman are going to finally meet. »
✾✾✾✾
Roman was ecstatic.
He had been accompanied by Patton and they had now made their entrance in the ballroom.
The space looked fancy and highly decorated, white, gold and blue themes coloured every object, glistening with a bit of purple here and there. It felt like being in the gods' lair, high columns sustained a roof for a space much bigger than its guests.
A pompous environment that suggested any trait related to space and stars.
Everyone was dressed up for the occasion, he felt like he was in the middle of one of those royal dances humans had to entertain themselves.
They all had a mask covering part of their face; it was a way of respecting the Sun and Moon as they had yet to arrive and would wear it as well until they took it off alongside everyone.
Clothes and masks were pretty much the same for everyone, changing based on the type of star you were, only the colours changed for everybody.
Roman was wearing crimson items; they often recalled the color of a star's eyes, like his case.
« Feeling nervous? » Patton was leading him toward their designated spot, he had previously offered his arm to Roman after showing off his sky-blue outfit.
« Kind of. Don't wanna mess up. But also what if they're not here? » Roman was already pulling at the hem of his sleeve.
« I'm sure they are. Normally binary systems are put together. I'll help you search! » Patton gave a warming smile that ushered the other not to worry too much.
« Should I go find a dance partner? » there was literally no etiquette to follow until the two main protagonists arrived.
The nebula noticed the initial discomfort in him. « That, or you can stay with me for now. »
Roman was about to reply in gratitude when he saw everyone move to the centre of the room, where he got by taking Patton's hand.
Alright, here we go.
The first part of the dance had the stars already dancing around the room while waiting; none told Roman there would have been partner changes.
He and Patton had just turned, their backs facing, when suddenly his hand touched another one and there he was spinning slowly with a stranger.
Roman had a pair of purple irises fixed in his own, on a stoic face they were decorating, his head slightly tilted.
« Hi. » he had tried, but he only saw the star's eyes look down, ignoring his greeting.
That made Roman feel defeated, little did he know the stranger's goal was another and that he couldn't lose time on uneventful conversation.
One of each star's hand was intertwined with the others'.
Should have Roman been stoic as well? Could they talk during the event? Was he being judged by the other guy?
Still, after seemingly searching into Roman for some sort of hint, the other star kept looking behind his shoulders, especially on the front door, which was decorated with complicated bass-relief motives.
Was he more interested into the room's details than meeting new people?
Roman glanced around for clues and his eyes met smiling and chatting couples, giving him the impression that he had been doing something wrong.
Until he met Patton's look again and he noticed the signals he was giving him.
“It's him”, his lips mouthed and it finally hit Roman when Patton motioned towards the other with his eyes.
Roman blinked in bewilderment and turned back to his partner only to see him let go of his hand, his back already facing him, without a single chance for him to speak some last words.
His focus shifted again when a different light glowed into the room, he heard the door starting to open and everyone was pushed at both opposite sides of the room.
A path was now created, like a little temporary corridor.
Finally, from either door, two figures started walking down the path, making it very clear on their identity: the Sun and Moon had made their entrance.
Gold and silver shining like they were the only things in existence, the two met halfway and joined hands, making the whole audience restart their own dance.
Roman's companion had changed and it was now a lady part of a system, her name was Zeta, but he couldn't help but think back at how close he had been to his discovery.
Everytime he caught a glimpse of him, he lost it, happening so often that Roman had been closer to interact with the Moon instead.
Patton had told him his name was Remy, while the Sun's was Emile and they were part of a particular solar system which contained planets such as Jupiter, Mars, or his favourite, Saturn.
He had also been told there were rumors behind the two's different clothing; Emile was rumored to wear gloves so he could protect others from his burning touch, while Remy was never seen without his sunglasses, probably because he would have gone severely injured if he had directly looked at the Sun.
Busying himself with the search for his system's second star, he almost didn't notice it when people started scattering and some went back to chatting.
Emile and Remy took off their masks alongside everyone and respectively put on glasses and sunglasses.
« Hey there! »
Roman turned. « Holy stars, Patton! I can't believe I almost had him. »
« Well, at least you know he's here now, right? » the nebula started looking around from his spot to search for Virgil again.
« Yeah, I hope it'll be easier to- »
« Found him. » Patton pointed at a few feet next to them, where their object of interest was sitting, attentively staring at something or someone.
Roman felt something in his chest click as soon as he was able to see his face clearly: he didn't know how to describe it, but he loved and absolutely loathed it at the same time.
He realized he had been holding his breath only after he deeply exhaled, making Patton raise an eyebrow.
« Are you going to say hello, or …? »
That was not ideal.
That was actually utterly terrible, how he felt drawn to the other and yet terrified at the same time, the intensity making it a seemingly impossible goal.
Despite the other being the infinitely smaller star, Roman was in awe, like he couldn't compare to him in any sort of way; the aura he gave off was too strong, so much that he seemed to know the secrets of the universe before anyone else.
Roman couldn't explain it, but he had to talk to him or else he would've probably combusted.
What had gotten into him? Did the realization of actually having the possibility of making friends with the other half of his binary system just hit him? … Would the other really agree to such a friendship?
He was afraid to answer that. They barely knew each other, anyway.
Roman started approaching him and felt his legs as heavy as lead, his tongue tied and all the conversations that he had prepared basically gone from his mind.
So many years of longing for this meeting only for it to go into shambles.
Yet, there he was, at last standing next to him.
« Greetings, the name's Roman. » he achieved a single apparently annoyed glance. He looked still … in search of something. « I was wondering whether you were the star entitled as Sirius B. »
Roman finally got a reaction out of him, a slick turn of the head in an impressed expression. « How would you know that? »
Roman grinned and moved one hand from behind his back. « Well, you see, » he started, theatrically bowing down just that necessary to still look him in the eyes. « It just so happens that I am Sirius A. »
✾✾✾✾
Janus was mimicking Roman's gesture as Remus watched in awe.
« Who knows what Virgil will say? »
« Hold it- What do you mean? » Remus sluggishly said with his cheek pressed against the pillow.
« I mean that it's late and you should rest before your little school trip, alright? »
The kid didn't look very convinced.
Janus tried again. « Also, I'm going to give you a mission for tomorrow. »
Remus's eyes lit up again. « What is it? »
« You're going to have to find the stars I've been telling you about. There's going to be a dark room full of projections; it's gonna be fun. »
His nephew let out a “Ooh” of understanding and admiration, already picturing what it could have looked like.
« Come on now, » Janus helped him set into bed and kissed his forehead, at which, like any other night, Remus commented with a “gross” and wiped at his skin.
It was their little routine before Janus himself started preparing for the night.
He was pacing around the living room when he could have sworn he had heard something moving right outside of his apartment's door; he stood there for a second, simply staring at the doorknob, expecting it to twist at any second.
Nothing came through and thus he went to sleep.
He really needed a relaxing bath first.
Janus knew something had been off as soon as he had woken up; the uneasiness from the night before still lingered, pressing down on his stomach.
He could not deal with this.
It was six a.m. again and he was staring at the cupboard in the bathroom.
No, it was fine. He was fine, he could do it on his own.
He breathed deeply and exited the room only to find a perky Remus already up and excited for his trip.
The kid smiled up at him. « Is breakfast ready yet? »
Janus forgot all about how he had woken up.
Merely an hour and a half later, Remus had been dropped off at the school bus after making sure he had everything he needed and that he was under the supervision of all the class' teachers.
He was still going up the stairs of the condominium, when he noticed a figure fidgeting and standing by his door.
Brown curls, green eyes and still impossibly gorgeous.
Janus's stomach did a triple flip and he didn't know if it was for delight or bitterness. Of course, his mind blanked as soon as Clyde acknowledged him.
« Hey, J. » the tone was unsure.
None had been allowed to call him that in years.
« It's been a while … »
« Indeed. » he responded sternly, almost petrified as he waited for the other to state the reason for his visit.
« Uhm, I … needed to get a thing I left here. »
« Here. »
« Yeah. »
Clyde was trying his best not to make everything awkward, but Janus was making it godawfully impossible.
The star didn't talk any further and simply turned the keys to unlock the door, stepping in and aside to let the other enter.
« Get what you need and leave. » he didn't make eye contact, or else he would have been fucked.
A distraction.
Janus went into the kitchen, busying himself with getting things ready for lunch, while Clyde headed for Remus's room; there was a photo album he needed to get after all, there was no way Remus would have wanted to keep pictures of a dad that had given up on him.
He picked up the album and turned the first couple of pages. Then more and more.
Remus had cut out Clyde's face from any picture in which he had appeared.
It was a hit to his heart, a well deserved one, but a hit nonetheless; he put the album back and headed for the door, but something pulled him back to Janus.
The star eyed him warily.
« Did you get it? »
« Not really, but- I figured it doesn't matter anymore. »
Janus made an uninterested noise without looking back up at him.
« If there's anything- »
« We don't need your help. »
Clyde's eyes fell to the floor, but he insisted and came closer to the other, standing at his side.
« I know it's kind of hypocritical but were you to find yourself in a difficult situation- »
« Hypocritical? » Janus scoffed, finally turning to him and glaring at him.
He wanted to drown.
« The only time my situation becomes difficult is when you are around. » he could feel his insides heating up.
« Listen I know you hate me now- »
Oh, was that guilt tripping? That was guilt tripping.
« That's the issue. Everytime I see you, I get reminded of the fact that I just … I don't actually hate you and it sucks, so please leave. » he felt like he was on the verge of either tears or a crisis out of exasperation.
« Janus … » Clyde dared to lift a hand as the other tried to focus back on cooking.
« Don't touch me. »
« Listen. » the man took Janus's wrist anyway with the sole purpose of trying to put some sense into him.
Janus tried to wiggle free from his grip. « I said- » until … « Ugh! » he did.
But his hand had jerked back right onto his cheek, causing the knife he was holding to leave a deep cut through his eye and cheek.
He dropped everything and held his head as a luminous substance flowed out of his cut.
Star's blood.
« Oh my- Oh god, I- »
« Get out! » he yelled one last time and could only hear Clyde's steps as he hurried away from him.
Now there was something interesting about stars: they had a really peculiar way of healing, so much that hospitals wouldn't understand their ways. So Janus ought to help himself.
He quickly washed the blood out of his hands and ran into his room before he could pass out, closed the windows and turned every light off.
By memory he found the little box he had hidden in the bedside table, a secret drawer.
He opened it and a blinding light illuminated the room. That was the light that belonged to him as a star; once you disguise yourself as a human you get to keep it in case of emergencies.
Janus felt heat coming back to his body and pain retreating from his brain.
When he closed it everything felt normal again, despite the tiredness from what had just happened.
Then he looked in the mirror.
A terrible scar ran from above his eyebrow, down his eye and onto his cheek, still so fresh and yet … It looked like a childhood one. And he could still perfectly see.
He didn't want to deal with that right then: he went back to work on his meal and decided on a relaxation day as he didn't have work and really needed a rest.
All he wanted to do was scream and probably cry, but he decided on staring at the ceiling from the living room's couch.
By the time he woke up, he had to go pick up Remus from the school trip, which now required him to put on concealer on his face.
His nephew didn't mention anything about it around others.
But he wasn't certainly stupid.
Once in the car, he spoke up. « What happened to your face? »
« Can't a man wear make-up? »
« Yes, but you've never done It before. And you're not in love so there's none to make yourself pretty for. »
« Ouch, now I'm not pretty? » Janus chuckled.
Remus pointed a finger at him. « You're insecure! »
When will children stop being so brutally honest?
Once home, Janus went straight for the bathroom to wipe the concealer away. « You see, little duke, » he called from there. « Sometimes you don't want to explain things. Sometimes you can't. » he then went back to him and showed his scar.
« What happened? »
« An accident. I recovered quickly with some remaining starry powers. »
The kid seemed to accept it, despite being skeptical.
« Can I get one too? I want to be like a dragon! »
« Dragons don't have scars, kid. » Janus tilted his head.
« They do! It's written in books, they have them all over their bodies. »
« Sweetie, those are scales. »
Remus considered for a second, his eyes fixated on a random spot.
« Uncle, I think my life is a lie. »
Janus finally laughed for real and they decided to leave the corridor for the more important conversation to happen in the living room; the kid started going on about the astronomy museum and all its wonders.
« And then there was that big constellations projector like you mentioned and it was beautiful. » Remus mimicked how he would've showed him in the room, as if the projections were in their apartment. « The scientist knew everything about them, he answered every question, uncle Jee I want to go back! »
Janus smiled the entire time, especially at how his nephew was now looking at him with literal sparkles in his eyes.
« Your birthday is around, isn't it? We could go back then. »
The kid started jumping around in excitement. « I want to visit everyday! I could sell lemonade like they do in cartoons and pay my ticket everyday! »
He giggled, while Remus kept coming up with different ways to assist himself. « I don't think that's likely, but we could visit often if that's what you'd like. »
« But Logan … » the other murmured sadly. « The star man ... »
Janus theatrically scoffed. « Excuse you, am I not enough of a star human myself? »
Remus stuck his tongue out at him and started running around the room only to flee from his uncle's vision in order for him to try and chase him; Janus sighed in a “not this again” manner and walked towards his general direction.
The scar had already been long forgotten.
✾✾✾✾
After days of non stop talking about that one astronomer and the museum, Remus's birthday finally came around.
It didn't seem such a peculiar or important day for that same one astronomer the kid kept talking about, the intelligent and cool one that he wanted to celebrate with.
Logan was walking up the stairs to the museum, his beloved workplace he wouldn't have traded for any kind of amount of gold.
Thankfully, its location had been accessible to a great number of tourists and curious citizens ever since it had been founded, so that every worker could be easily secured in their position.
He waved at his colleagues as he headed to his little office where he often stayed late to do research along side other devoted astronomers; his afternoon shift was about to start, right on time to run through a couple of papers of the previous night before meeting his first group of the day.
Being a tour guide around a museum whilst assisting in astronomy research all the while had its perks and downsides.
Mostly for Logan, it was his insatiable need to let every single thought that ran in his mind directly out for others to hear and obtain as information. It had always been hard as a teenager, especially during high-school.
It wasn't that he studied irregularly – well, maybe sometimes – but he, unlike the majority of his classmates, had to do extra work on training his speech method. The bits of info that stuck to his head while he studied were far too many and growing with each passing test, which made it harder to form connected sentences.
Talking was even worse than writing, he had no time to re-formulate what he had said a minute earlier, he couldn't go back to check what was his initial point, making his oral tests a complete mess.
Despite this, knowing what he wanted to do in his life in the long run, he kept practicing, finding great treasure in info-dumping people about his special interests.
Getting to discuss this kind of matter with university colleagues was a far better help than feeling like you were talking to a wall when your interlocutor kept nodding and smiling, clearly ignorant of whatever you were talking about.
It had also helped to understand how exactly you should modulate your speech depending on the audience, making it all a perfect experience for a soon-to-be guide.
Logan left the room and finally met his momentary students, ready to prepare their minds for the bliss of knowledge.
He briefly glanced through them, multiple people all different from one another, proving the world that education could be for anybody; he moved through different topics with ease, basically dancing between different rooms as he caught glimpses of other interested visitors, such as curious middle schoolers, or a man with bright yellow gloves talking softly to a small excited kid next to him.
It was his place, he felt at home, that strange and rare belonging sentiment.
The satisfaction of leaving the last group of people whose minds wandered in the deepest parts of space, now devoid of questions.
Who he didn't expect to still be wandering around the various exhibits hours after their entrance was that same man with yellow gloves and … supposedly his kid?
Logan leaned on the wall of the room's entrance, still out of sight, trying to catch what kind of conversation might have kept them around for so long.
Not much to his surprise, he heard the man talk of stars with an impressive accuracy, pointing up at the big white and blue projector.
It felt like he had met them personally and conversed with them.
He found himself smiling involuntary as he recognized his own enthusiasm in the boy.
And then …
« It's almost closing time, so, are you ready to hear what Virgil had to say? »
Remus's eyes lit up impossibly more and yelled a convinced “yeah!” before sitting on his uncle's lap and pointing up towards the binary-star Sirius.
« There. »
… he was brought elsewhere.
✾✾✾✾
Virgil always thought they'd have looked the same.
Either some sort of twins or really similar, differently aged bodies, something as weird as that.
Now a gleaming figure stood before him, completely different from how he had imagined him, so much that he almost distrusted that information.
« Patton told me about you. » Roman added later, as if he had just read his mind.
After the initial awkwardness, noticing the blunt disinterest, he tried again.
« So, what would be the name of my system companion? »
The other star raised an eyebrow at the unusual title and looked away before he could respond, making his answer muffled by the music echoing in the room.
« Virgil. »
« Well then, a pleasure being your friend then, Virgil. »
That finally got a reaction out of him, as the smaller star snorted sarcastically. « I don't really think meeting one time is what it takes to be someone's friend, Roman. »
He laughed lightly. « My apologies, I don't actually know how it works, » still with a smile on, he looked down. « I don't really have friends. »
And there it was, something Roman had never seen before, but that he could've caught on Patton's expression sometimes, briefly.
The pitiful glance he would've learnt to recognize.
« Oh. » was all Virgil mustered to say. He had never faced that kind of situation.
« It's the big and terrifying thing, or some envy of sorts, I'm not sure … But I still have Patton! » Roman concluded, bright as before. « And it's also why I've been eager to meet you since I got to know about you. »
Virgil tilted his head as he quickly glanced between him and the dancing couples.
« Did he tell you about me? »
« A little. He wanted it to be more of a surprise for both of us, he was as excited as I was! »
Unlike you, it seems.
Roman frowned and brushed off the clear indifference of the other, instead trying to find common ground.
« Would you like to dance? »
Virgil finally looked at him properly, but it was as though he was trying to make a tough choice, whether that was a useful option to his goal, the same way he did the first time they met. His hand moved and almost reached Roman's, but hesitation got the best of him, his eyebrows furrowed, arm almost shaking.
Roman didn't understand; what was the issue? They had danced earlier. What was so different about it now?
« I- »
They were interrupted by a swarm of people coming their way, clearing up a path for the Sun and Moon to return back to their respective places, outside of the palace.
Which meant it was time for everyone to part ways.
« … I will go. »
And just like that, he was gone.
Roman repeated the events in his mind once he got back, immediately requesting Patton's presence. Just what in the planets had he just witnessed? There was nothing of the sweetness he'd fantasized about, nothing about introducing each other like old friends, nothing of that electric buzz in your chest, the one that makes you so sure that you do belong exactly where you are.
All he felt was dread, awkwardness and uncomfortable silence, loss of words. Stupidity.
That's what he was, so ingenuous to think both of them would've been happy to find each other at last.
Had Virgil ever even cared about all of this? Did Roman simply impose his dreams on the other?
« So that I'm sure I did not hallucinate, » the star huffed, an arm over his eyes as he laid down. « I did meet him. »
« That you did. » Patton said, sounding more certain than Roman himself.
« And … »
« And? »
« It sucked. » he got up. « We barely even talked! My mind was racing and going blank from agitation and he didn't even try to interact with me, Patton. He obviously doesn't want to be my friend! He definitely thinks I'm annoying at this rate. »
« Hey there, little sparkle, slow down with the all too quick affirmations now. » Patton's form outside of the palace made him almost look like he had wings for arms. « You see, we're not all the same. You met me, and I'm very energetic and mostly aligning with your extravagant character- »
« You think I'm extravagant? » Roman let in some fake disbelief.
Patton chuckled. « In the best way possible! What I mean is, it's easy for us to get along, but Virgil is pretty much the opposite of you, which makes it a bit difficult to immediately get along. You only need to give it some more time. »
The binary-star did feel reassured with his words.
Not completely, though they made sense, yet there was always something in the back of his mind that made him doubt those kind of words. The nebula could tell everytime Roman grimaced for seemingly no reason.
« Are you … » Roman calculated his words. Surely he didn't want to appear more doubtful than he was after his “defeat” at the ball earlier. « Are you sure it's not … »
« Roman, believe me, he'd be the last to care about the fact that you're … » he scrambled for examples. « A bigger star than the sun itself! Star systems share a deep intrinsic bond. Just go at his pace, he might only be distraught. »
« I heard someone talk about big stars. » a voice called over their shoulders. « So I couldn't help but stop by. »
A feminine body loomed before them, familiar almost spirited eyes checked Roman out from afar, until she was close enough to inspect both of them.
« Zeta. » Sirio-A called out unenthusiastically. « What brings you here? »
« Didn't see you dancing. Was wondering what kind of unforeseen event kept you from shining your true beauty upon those little kids. » they grinned. « But I see you're already hooked up. »
« Patton's always been a friend. » he replied in annoyance.
« I don't really do romances, thank you! » Patton offered right after with a bright smile.
« Oh. I apologize for assuming. » she said, before composing herself « Anyway, I'd appreciate it if you came to chat with me and Canopus instead of running around in search of a random dude. »
Zeta Ophiuchi had always been … an eccentric type of star, basking under the knowledge that she, Roman and Canopus were the brightest ones of the night sky.
She managed to enthrall Canopus in her own thinking, since the latter showed a less strong character than her friend; Roman, though? He'd never really been eager to feed the fire of greatness.
He had come to terms with the fact that all those acts of superiority didn't matter, since nothing really changed in their hierarchy.
« Why do you guys insist on keeping your title as names instead of choosing your own? » he derailed from the conversation.
« A little nosy, aren't we today? »
« Says the one who barged in uninvited. »
Zeta chuckled. « Touché. » she sighed afterwards. « It's because we want to stay true to our origin, partly because it also gives you a grip on your essence, your reality. It's empowering, Sirius. » she put much more emphasis on Roman's title.
He hated it with a burning passion.
Zeta lowered down at his eye-level. « Don't you think? » he wanted to wipe her grin away with a single death glare.
Patton muttered a “not again” under his breath; that occasion happened at least once a month, Zeta would pick at Roman's most sensitive spots and try to get past the thick walls he placed between himself and his insecurities.
« Well it's been a nice sunset! Why don't we go before it gets too dangerous for you to stay away from Ophiuchus, Zeta? »
She stared intently at Roman for a while longer before turning to the nebula and offering a fake smile and a nod. « Of course, Seagull. »
He breathed deeply, then waved sadly at his friend as Zeta followed quickly behind.
Roman understood how she and Canopus had been admitted to the same group as his, yet at the same time he couldn't believe how he had to deal with Zeta's teasing even in the palace.
Working towards his goal was going to be harder than he thought.
✾✾✾✾
« Zeta's a bitch! » Remus abruptly commented, causing his uncle's sudden laughter. « I like her. »
Janus tried to gain his breath back. « Yeah- » he chuckled. « She's going to be rather interesting in the future. »
« Well that was quite the story. »
His eyes widened and he turned towards the entrance of the projector room: there stood a man, probably around his age, with the usual formal outfits and the museum worker plate stuck to his shirt.
« I'm so sorry I- »
« Logan! » Remus sprinted to his feet and ran up the stranger like he was an old relative he loved and hadn't seen in ages.
So that was who Remus would always mention.
Janus walked up to them, trying to hide the embarrassment behind a polite smile. « Come on duke, we should get going now. »
« But he's the star man! »
Star man? Logan thought, low-key impressed.
« There's no need to rush actually. We'll be closing the exhibit rooms in an hour, but most of us tend to stay the night. » he smiled back, then looked down at the young boy. « How do you know my name? »
« I came here two weeks ago! » Remus excitedly said. « With school! There were two of you, you were the cool one. »
Logan recalled a school class and a co-worker helping out with timing.
« We came back for my birthday, but I thought you weren't here today. Can we celebrate together now? »
Janus let out a laugh between exasperation and amusement, then looked up at the astronomer. « He's grown fond of you. » he tried to explain.
« I can see that. » Logan crouched down to converse with Remus easily. « What would you want me to do? »
Never before an occasion like that one had occurred to him, plus an offer to spend time with people with his same interests other than his colleagues, thus less programmed to spit out information in any given situation, would have definitely been a breath of fresh air.
« Let's get ice cream. » Remus turned to his uncle. « Can we? »
Janus nodded. « If Logan is able to, I don't see why not. »
And Logan could afford leaving early every once in a while, so …
« Alright then, » he stepped aside from the entrance to let them exit. « I will let them know I'll be going out. » he pointed towards the offices and left.
About half an hour later, Remus was walking around the park, doing his best not to make the ice cream fall from his cone as he inspected all the bugs and insects he could find.
« I hope we're not wasting precious time. » Janus was walking alongside Logan not too far behind from Remus.
« Not at all. I have been actually told I could have used some free time every now and then. »
« Ah, are you the stay-in-late type? »
Logan moved his head from side to side in half agreement. « Sort of. It is mostly part of our job to carry on with research. You could say my work could be divided into day and night jobs. I do not mind it a single bit, to be fair. »
« Oh! » the star stopped dead in his tracks, realization hitting him, while the astronomer looked back at him, blinking in confusion. « How rude of me. » he extended his arm to the other. « My name is Janus Hydra. »
Logan gladly shook it. « Pleasure to be here then, Janus. »
The star smiled, then they went back to walking. « And the one who's trying to catch a butterfly is my nephew Remus. » he giggled as he watched the kid almost stick his cone into a tree.
« It was very thoughtful of you to bring him to the museum for his birthday. »
« Yes, well, he wouldn't stop mentioning it day and night. It would've been rude of me not to do so. »
Logan caught an odd detail in that sentence. « You live with him? » he asked, trying to be as cautious and considerate as possible.
Janus nodded and, for the first time, he wasn't asked why. He was silently grateful for, objectively, a stranger not trying to peer into his personal life as much as others would do.
« So, what about you? I haven't seen you around my workplace, yet you seem to be knowledgeable about stars. » he thought back at the moments in which he pointed up at the constellations with impeccable precision. « Is it a simple personal passion? »
« You could say that. It's something like a family thing. As you may have noticed, my surname comes from a constellation, by which I could deduce that probably one of my ancestors decided it was going to be our legacy. »
Logan could … honestly see that.
« Very peculiar. I can imagine the- »
« L, look! » Remus ran up to them with a butterfly in his hand. « Which one is this? »
Logan cupped one hand under his. « I suggest not to take it by the wings, » with the other, he instructed Remus to drop it gently on his palm. « Touching them damages them as it removes the material on them which permits butterflies to distinguish and disguise themselves. Furthermore, your risk to damage or even completely break the wings. They're pretty fragile. » the little insect walked up to his fingertip. « Here. » he offered as he gestured for Remus to carefully let the butterfly walk on from Logan's to his hand.
« This one is a Morpho Menelaus, also known as blue morpho. »
« I read they can drink from puddles. » the kid said as he lowered the insect next to one on the ground.
« That's true, they have a varied diet. Did you know some can drink blood as well? »
Remus jumped to his feet, a wide grin on his face. « They can?! »
Logan made a diverted expression at the difference between Remus's reaction and Janus's unpleasant disbelief.
« There's a moth species in Asia with this ability, if it pleases the butterfly of course, it's rare but not undone. »
Time seemed to dilate as Remus kept asking for more facts to the “cool man who seemed to know everything”, the small talk between the latter and Janus to slowly get to know each other more and the general pleasant aura made them forget it was almost time for dinner.
« Wait. » Remus, once again, caught everyone's attention. « What about my birthday gift from Logan? »
Janus wanted to intervene, but Logan seemed way ahead of him already.
« How inconsiderate of me, you are absolutely correct, I should have prepared for this important event. » he pretended to think about it. « How about you can come to the museum whenever you want without the need of a ticket? »
Remus beamed, that was the best t-
« No. »
And his heart skipped a beat for a moment. He turned to look at his uncle with disappointment, but Janus's glance was fixed on Logan's.
« I refuse to not support your job. We will pay, like any other visitor. »
« Let's make a deal, then. You can come whenever you'd like and stay later than closing time, while I get to hear the story you were telling earlier as well. »
That was entirely unexpected. What was so charming about events he had witnessed? It didn't sit completely right with him, but who was he to deny saving money for the sake of his nephew's happiness?
Janus looked down at Remus who had assumed the “cat with the boots” adorable pleading face.
« Alright, you win this one, but I still owe you. » he warned Logan.
« Completely fine with me. »
« Are you sure it's okay to do, still? »
The astronomer had no doubts. « I will find a way, no need to worry. I'll be expecting you two tomorrow? » he asked, tilting his head almost imperceptibly to the side.
The other two agreed to come say hi after Remus had been done with school and thus they parted ways.
As Janus drove home, he realized he hadn't felt the all too familiar dawning of anguish a single moment of the day.
Was that going to be the eagerly awaited turning point?
Ever since they started visiting the museum, Remus and Janus took their time to explore every room and all the documents the exhibit had to offer, which made it really effective to tire Remus out in anticipation of bedtime.
Thus, the storytelling would often get postponed, especially since they wanted Logan to also be present, though he had to run important experiments during the first few weeks. They so decided to change it from a bedtime story to “their thing”, under the faint light of a constellations projector.
A month had now passed since their first encounter, and they finally managed to all sit down together in the almost dark room.
« Here's an apology gift. » Logan pushed a box in front of Remus who immediately wrapped off the paper encasing it.
« Apology for what exactly? » Janus asked with an eyebrow raised. « You're already letting us stay here for free. » it had become like a second home at that point.
« I know, but I have been around very briefly and I had to sneak you in late to cut out some time for you. »
« We aren't expecting you to be here every single time, Logan, you work here … »
« And you're also forgiven! » Remus exclaimed showing the little glow-in-the-dark stars stickers he already couldn't wait to put up in his room.
Janus chuckled under his breath. « You still didn't have to. » he made himself comfortable against the room's wall.
« If everyone's ready, I shall begin. »
✾✾✾✾
Roman felt like Virgil had been missing for most of the sunset dances.
He hadn't caught a glimpse of him in weeks, he felt as if he had been playing hide and seek all this time; Patton told him not coming wasn't possible, like stars were literally just teleported fully dressed to the ballroom the second it begun.
He had also been pretty busy avoiding Zeta and Canopus – not that the latter was any threat to him, actually she would've been easily persuaded to not tell on his location – that time ran out before he could meet up with Virgil.
All hope had been lost as he laid against a column and turned away from the dancing couples.
And he saw Virgil, a few meters away, sitting on a marble sort of parapet like he was ready to jump on his feet and leave. He was surrounded by a lack of other stars.
« Hey there. » Roman waved from his spot and his system's partner turned to him with the quickest neck movement he'd ever seen.
He looked as tired as someone who'd been dancing around all night.
… trying to … avoid someone …
Okay, they were both tired as hell.
Virgil gave the most effortless wave he could muster.
« Haven't seen you lately. » Roman pointed out. « Still, would you sit down with me? I don't think I can handle standing a minute longer. »
« I concur. » Virgil responded, grateful.
They slid down to the floor in almost perfect synchrony, simply watching what was going on before them: Roman was able to catch Patton's eyes and smile at him.
« Remember when you said I'm not a good judge of what is and isn't a friendship? »
« Didn't phrase it like that, but sure. »
« Does someone who's constantly bothering you and generally poke at your limits seem like a friend? »
Virgil took a silent but deeper look at the other and noted in his mind how exasperated he sounded.
« That sounds more like someone's been annoying you non-stop. That's … not exactly friendship either. »
Roman sighed, trying not to spiral into hysteria by the end of the night; he could hear Zeta's imposing voice in every corner he tried to escape.
How to break into silence?
« What do you think about going to the balcony? »
Virgil didn't hate the idea, but worry got the best of him. « Isn't that section of the palace reserved to the Sun and Moon only? »
His acquaintance displayed a mischievous smile. « Not if we get back before anyone notices. » he pulled himself to his feet, offering his hand to the other confidently.
Virgil couldn't help but take it and venture into unexplored areas; the hallways decorations were pretty much the same, if not less sumptuous, of the ballroom. He watched as Roman pushed glass doors open and revealed a terrace with a view of the Earth's sunrise on the sky above them.
They must have been on the Sun's wing. He felt suddenly more agitated about his presence there.
« Finally, » Roman took large steps to the parapet and leaned on it, closing his eyes to the gentle breeze caressing his hair. « A moment of silence. »
Virgil mimicked him. « I hadn't felt this peaceful nothingness in a long while. »
The other opened one eye to give him a sideways look. « You have visitors? »
« People have been fussing over me for some reason ever since we made our debut here. »
That explained the ever tired look, the staying behind as stars danced and had fun, and especially the unwanted attention.
« They say they find me cute or whatever, only because I'm the smaller star in the binary system. It's … really annoying. Kind of offensive, if I can say. »
« Here we are, » Roman chuckled to himself. « Both socially exhausted because everybody's patronizing you, while I'm being picked at constantly. »
« It's our system's fatal flaw. » Virgil confessed dramatically, which made the other snort, surprised by the sudden burst of confidence with joking around him.
They spent some more minutes in silence, the music from the ballroom was barely audible, like they were slowly being taken away.
Neither of their situations were desirable, but Roman really could've used some positive attention every once in a while, instead of laying in the dreadful awaiting of being ridiculed, as whoever else passed by him tried not to make eye contact.
He didn't realize he had progressively lowered his head to rest on the parapet's rail, his eyes half-lidded. He dared to take a quick glance at Virgil, standing tall as he observed the morning sky: every movement of his purple irises looked like a stroke of a brush on an expensive painting.
There, he looked much bigger than the universe they were in, some sort of irony against his usual small perception, which caused other stars to nickname him as “the pup”.
Roman's face portrayed an amused smile as he imagined Virgil being one of Earth's small dogs he had been told about.
It quickly faltered though, as soon as he shook the thought away, the sorrowful reality of his loneliness hit him and he couldn't stop himself from murmuring his belief to the sunrise.
« I really have only one friend, huh? »
The quiet around made it possible for Virgil to hear clearly, so he turned and looked at him from above, pondering whether or not it was appropriate of him to console Roman in some way.
At the end of the day, they really were alike, as distinct as they still could appear.
« You can have me? Two isn't much higher than one, but it isn't as bad. »
Roman averted the sky to disperse his bewilderment directly into Virgil's eyes, all fluttery eyelids and raised eyebrows.
« That would be so much better. » Virgil was glad to be the cause of his smile for once. « Thank you, Virgil. »
« You can call me Virge. »
Roman started cooing mockingly. « Aw, you're opening up to me. »
« And already regretting it, thank you very much. »
The other genuinely laughed and his expression softened, letting silence set one more veil above them.
« I wish I could visit you. » Roman then said after admiring the landscape. « We'd make sleepovers along with Patton- »
« Stars don't sleep. »
Oh, damn it. They had gotten so lost in their conversation that they hadn't noticed the music fading out completely.
As they turned, they noticed Emile at the entrance of the terrace, a warm expression set on his face, some sort of understanding as he had his arms folded over himself and sparkles of light all around.
He wasn't hostile, yet he knew they didn't belong there. Still, he wasn't one to reprimand.
« You should hurry back, friends. » he suggested, leaving one of the two doors free for them to pass through.
The two quickly made their way towards the hallway, but for Virgil it felt like an eternity: the moment he locked eyes with the Sun, it was as though his body refused to acknowledge its own movements. He didn't realize Roman had been tugging him by the sleeve as Virgil walked right past Emile, never leaving his glance.
Roman turned back to him as they half-ran towards the ballroom, noticing Virgil still hadn't turned his head from the balcony's entrance.
« Are you alright? »
« Huh? » Virgil quickly moved to look forward and find Roman's curious face.
The bigger star noticed the glimmering lights on his cheeks: a common feature which meant a star was happy or feeling intense emotions.
He saw Roman furrow his eyes, like he was trying to connect the dots, but rapidly ignoring it as they had made their way through the ballroom.
This time, Roman had a different tale to tell Patton.
✾✾✾✾
« So- uh? »
As Janus had been stroking Remus's hair absentmindedly, he hadn't realized the kid's breath had been slowing down to an evenly repeated movement: as he looked down, he saw his nephew biting through his glove in his sleep.
« It really sounds like an effective bedtime story. » Logan commented as Janus carefully placed Remus's head on his shoulder. He helped him stand up without losing balance and they quietly made their way towards the exit and, subsequently, Janus's car as, like Logan said, “it was the least he could do for them that night”.
« Are you going to go back in? » Janus whispered as he kept an eye on the backseat of his car.
Logan checked his watch, noticing time had flown by rather quickly, no wonder the kid had already fallen asleep. « I think so, yes. »
« Okay. » the other nodded. « Don't stay too late, Remus is not the only one who needs sleep. »
« I am fully aware of what a healthy circadian rhythm consists of. » he threw in a slight, non-harmful piece of sarcasm in his voice.
« Oh, I know you do. I was just making sure you knew you aren't elected to ignore it either way. »
Logan was delighted by the atmosphere: it was always pleasant to realize the exact moment in which you got closer to someone, the caring feeling hidden under friendly banter.
He was glad someone was looking out for him in that way.
« I'll theorize about what's going to happen next in your tale to help myself, then. »
« Hey, » Janus pointed towards him. « Don't you dare use that excuse to stay up later, though. »
« Will not do. » Logan chuckled. « Seriously, though, you needn't worry. »
« Fine. » he said, realizing that maybe his “mother-hen” senses had been activated the moment his nephew had fallen asleep.
He looked back at his little duke, and took a step backward, moving to his car.
« Well- »
Janus raised his arm to wave, but was interrupted by his friend's sudden words.
« I was thinking, » Logan was tapping his fingertips together before stopping altogether and making eye contact, like he had forgotten what he was doing. « If you'd like to and if you have time, we could hang out? It doesn't always have to be my workplace, or be a rushed thing. »
« That would be lovely! I can't really leave Remus alone nowadays and I always work when he's at school, as I imagine you do as well, but you could definitely come visit when you're off. »
Both of them were thrilled of the thought of spending quality time with each other for once.
« Oh, right. I could pick you up from work and you could have dinner with us! »
« Sounds excellent. » Logan moved slightly and a speck of street light hit part of his face, lighting up one of his eyes.
It was there that it was clear how the dark of the night made everything seem more mysterious and grim.
They waved each other goodbye, deciding to agree upon the day of their meeting via text.
Janus heard Remus shuffle in his seat, he was gripping tightly at the door's handle.
The moment he looked back ahead of himself he noticed an unusual glimmering under his eyes: he quickly checked on the rear-view mirror, finding the same sparkles he had described in his story.
He in-took a deep breath and braced himself for whatever was going to come in the future, while all he could think about were sharp looks and a poised personality.
That sure as the sky was going to be interesting to witness.
For example, it was deeply interesting when he received a call from Logan, the latter insisting he couldn't be able to sleep; the sound of the phone ringing had also woken Remus up, whom unceremoniously plopped onto his uncle's bed right beside him as soon as he heard Logan's voice.
Now he had two restless kids to put to sleep.
« This isn't an excuse for both of you to stay up later is it? »
« I wanted to talk to Logan too! »
« And I forgot to get melatonin on my way to work. »
After arguing to get him to make a physical note to leave on his table for the morning after, Janus allowed the man to stay on the line and Remus to get comfortable under the covers, while only the bedside table lamp was on.
✾✾✾✾
The terrace scene had replayed in Virgil's head for weeks.
Ever since the start, his goal had been the one to be able to reach the Sun, the one childhood hero he had grown to love, now he had him at his fingertips and yet, he was still so distant.
He danced with strangers to gain courage to get as close as possible to him, but he couldn't find it to touch his hand, let alone when he had to speak a single word to him.
The Sun seemed kind-hearted, he was for sure as well, he knew he wouldn't have been the target of insults for his deep admiration.
Despite all of this, he was still scared.
He was going to explode if he didn't speak up about it anytime soon.
« Are you alright? »
That question again, while the same thoughts circled in his mind, ones he couldn't keep in anymore.
« I think I'm in love with him. »
Roman battered his eyes. He had been spending most of the dance time with him, venting to each other about whoever came to visit or simply relaxing in the quietest spot they were allowed to reach.
They hadn't danced together once yet.
« Care to explain further? »
How could he when he couldn't even say his name?
« The sun. » Virgil hardly let out any voice. « I just- » he felt all the tension wash away as he looked into Roman's red irises, willing to gather more knowledge on the situation. « I'm happy to come here only because I have a chance to see him, but every single time someone else sweeps him away before I can even reach him. »
That would've been Remy, Roman thought.
« And even if I had the opportunity … I couldn't take it. It's stronger than me and it's eating me alive at the same time. » his breath was heavy with emotion.
Roman made space to a new feeling as well. There was only one way he could explain it.
Daggers.
Daggers piercing through your chest and stomach, multiple of them slowly and attentively burning holes in every vital organ, becoming sharper the longer Roman breathed through it.
It was because of empathy, right? He felt awful for Virgil's incapacity to interacting with the one he loved.
So why would the thought of helping him deepen the sharpness of those knives?
« I just … need to at least talk about it with someone. I only ever really have this opportunity with you and then again, staying alone with my thoughts- »
« It makes you want to scream. »
Roman wanted to yell the pain away.
« Like your organs are contorting … »
And twisting and looking for a way out of your body.
« … And your heart is in your throat, trying its best to escape. »
Virgil nodded, an aching expression displayed on his face.
« Why don't you just go? Next time, you just throw yourself in. Be yourself. It's always what they tell you to do. Let it happen, be natural and respect his boundaries. A path will slowly be open to you. »
What was he doing?
Virgil let the information sink in and, slowly, that pained face transformed into a warm smile.
That. That's what I'm doing. That's what I always want to do.
It was also how they tended to spend the sunset and sunrise dances ever since; Roman would sit down with Virgil in the corner and psych him up for him to be able to, eventually, open up to the opportunity of meeting Emile for real.
And, at the same time, he watched himself struggle and fall down, masking himself for the sake of the other.
On a particular night, he was walking away from the room alone, a myriad of thoughts surrounding his mind.
He didn't even have what he wanted.
« No, I do. » he retorted to himself, stopping dead in his tracks.
Virgil was his friend, that's all he had ever wanted ever since he found out about his existence, so why was it just not enough yet? Why was it so doleful, the idea of the friend he craved being so happy with someone else?
Why couldn't it just admit his emotions to himself? Why was there always a wall between him and how he felt?
« Would you please like to get moving? » he felt a hand push him from his back and the sight of Zeta and Canopus at her side obscured his mind from whatever he was thinking.
He didn't react much other than get to walking again, everything would've been fine, to some extent, if he didn't hear her whisper to her friend about how she was going to stop at Sirius's star before.
Anxiety surged in his stomach, up to his stomach, pumping his heart more than needed.
« You've been distraught. » she announced as they landed on his star. « What's up? »
« You think I'd tell you? »
« Why do you have anyone else to say that to? »
Roman looked down: as much as he hated to admit it, she was right.
« That still doesn't mean I suddenly want to open up to you. »
« Sirius, come on, you think you'll ever get the chance to do so with that little kid? »
« His name is Virgil. » he growled.
She tilted her head, mouth open. « Protective aren't we? » he clicked her tongue three times. « Not good, Sirius, not good. As I was saying, you'll never have the chance to talk with anyone but me and Canopus. »
Shut up.
« Patton won't be able to be here for you forever. »
Shut up.
« And everybody knows how Sirius B's star is slowly dying- »
« Can you stop for once in your life?! »
Zeta watched as Roman put his hands on his ears, eyes wide with panic, his entire body was trembling as he sat down, his sadness finally hitting him. Tears welled in his ruby eyes as too many concerns formed inside him.
« Don't talk about him. » he managed to say through the sobs. « Don't mention him, in any way, I don't want you to even think about him. »
Zeta arched an eyebrow and stepped closer, offended by the sudden burst. « You really need to own up to your true title and stop hanging around the pathetic ones. »
She walked away from him, until yelling took her by surprise.
« I love him! » Roman admitted, pulling his arms away from his eyes, his face reddened and wet with sorrow. « Are you happy?! I love him and he definitely doesn't. »
He looked down and all he saw was opaque misery.
« Well of course he doesn't. » she spat, turning back to give him one last disgusted glance. « Look at yourself. »
The last dagger.
Roman collapsed and let out all his anguish.
Yet again, he was going to find himself left behind, alone in his shuddersome melancholy.
And no one else had to know.
✾✾✾✾
There was a beat of silence.
« Uncle, how am I going to sleep after all of that? »
Janus grinned mischievously. « I like to torture my readers. » then he picked up the phone again and whispered. « But listen. »
Nothing more than a slow breathing came from the other end.
« Want to say goodnight? »
Remus nodded vigorously. « Night Lol! » he then watched as Janus hung up. « Is Roman going to be okay? »
Janus shrugged. « Maybe. »
« I'm going to kick you off the bed. »
« I'd tease you more but I recognize you're actually able to do that. »
« Good. » Remus smiled and eventually tucked himself further in bed, ready for a good night's sleep. And maybe some chaos in the middle of it, but it wasn't like his uncle had to know.
On a fortunate weekend, Janus and Remus were finally driving back to their apartment with a new component of their little group. Logan was contentedly sitting in the passenger seat, ready for another one of the peculiar nights around who became in no time two of his favorite people.
As he made his way through the porch, he noticed how Remus had wanted to stick the glow-in-the-dark stars on every single apartment wall. In fact, he had told the astronomer how sometimes he would convince his uncle to have a sleepover in different rooms.
« Imagine sleeping in the kitchen and waking up to breakfast ready! »
« That literally already happens, I always cook you something before you wake up. And don't think I don't notice those midnight snacks. »
The dinner went by nicely, Logan had settled in quickly, like he had always belonged there: he helped with food and to hinder Remus whenever it was extremely needed, or at least keep him company while he played as Janus was busy in the kitchen.
Having Logan around felt like the most normal thing ever and Janus was grateful to have a friendship like his.
Before he knew it, the sparkles were back. He fought them away as he called the other two, trying to keep himself through the entire meal, but it was absolutely impossible as he kept laughing and smiling thanks to someone so dashingly-
Hold up. Back on track.
You're supposed to fight it back, not welcome it, you dumbass.
Remus lost interest in the TV show he was following and left the room to go play with his toys once he had finished eating, taking some ice cream with him.
In the middle of a conversation, Janus absentmindedly rubbed at his cheek, not noticing he had taken off some of the makeup he meticulously had put on before he left home.
Someone else noticed, of course.
« Oh- You have- Hang on. » Logan bent over the table, thinking an eyelash had fallen on Janus's cheek, though when he noticed it didn't fall off, rather it expanded, he arched his eyebrows and sat back, looking at the makeup residue on his fingertips.
Janus's heart had skipped multiple beats since then. What was he supposed to say now?
« I would never pry, but, is everything alright? »
Seeing the genuine concern and care behind Logan's glasses, he convinced himself it was time for him to learn the story behind him.
Not every single detail … as he would've never believed him.
« It's … kind of a long story. » he began, folding his hands together on the table. « Remus's mother, she was my sister. She had married this man, Clyde Davis. »
« The therapist? »
« You know him? » the world surely was very little.
« Not personally. » his doctor had suggested him as he was also a psychiatrist, to help with his sleep issues.
« Well, they were together for a few years, then they had Remus and everything was going splendidly. » his glance moved from his hands to Remus playing in the other room. « Until my sister fell ill. It didn't take too long for it to consume her … I was already staying by their side pretty much daily, supporting them. » he sighed deeply and passed a hand on his face. « When she passed away, it also didn't take long before Clyde decided to start a new life … without Remus. »
« He … passed him onto you? Just like that? » Logan was bewildered negatively.
« Yes. He said we reminded him too much of her and he couldn't stay in that kind of environment anymore. »
« I understand the decision, but, and pardon my french, that is what they call a “dick move”. »
Janus couldn't help but giggle at that. « Yeah, I can't believe I used to be in love with him. »
Wait.
Wait.
Earthlings, Janus, you fool!
That was it, he ruined automatically whatever he had created with Logan with a single sentence because he forgot the humans' moral compass.
Right before he could spiral, he felt a hand on his and, when he looked up, he saw his friend's reassuring expression.
« It's okay. Sometimes we love people who hurt us, it can happen and we cannot control what our heart dictates. »
Janus blinked multiple times, then couldn't bare his stare anymore and looked down again. Then at their joined hands.
He took another breath. « Remus and I were perfectly fine by ourselves, dare I say Remus's presence lit up my days more than I did his. Then one day he appeared on my doorstep and it took all I had in myself to not slam the door right on his face. He insisted he had left something behind and decided to retrieve it after two years. Needless to say … he made me very upset. »
He scrunched his face for a second.
« I had a knife in my hand … and, well, I accidentally injured myself while trying to prove a point. » he wiped further at his cheek and part of his eyebrow and forehead. « Thankfully it wasn't as deep as it seemed. »
« I'm really sorry all of that happened. » Logan grimaced. « I would gladly teach him a lesson if he ever comes in my sight. »
Janus snorted. « Will you tell him about Runaway stars? »
« I hate and love that sentence at the same time, but as much as it would be the most intently ironic topic ever, I do have mediocre experience in explaining about how to raise a child in an healthy environment. »
He nodded. « Yes, that would be an incredibly helpful topic. »
« For future reference, of course. »
« Ah yes, not like he ever needed that in the past. » Janus had waited for this kind of conversation to happen with someone for ages.
« I'm glad you told me when you didn't have to. » Logan eventually confessed. « I imagined something like this had happened, but I preferred you were the one to brush the subject first. »
Janus had always been grateful for that. « You're the first and only one so far. » they both smiled at that. « But yes, I just didn't want you to worry about this. » he said, pointing to his scar.
Logan didn't exactly control his next words. « Not that I can not worry for you nonetheless. »
No, don't do that to me.
« Sometimes it's like … I wished I could stay longer. I suppose it has to do with the fact that I like being around to help the two of you, be it with chores or having fun. Instead I keep rushing back and forth from home to work lately. »
Janus bit the inside of his cheek. « You're always welcome here if you want to distract yourself. Just be sure to take care properly. »
« I know I should. I never seem to have enough time in a day. »
« Then let us. » Janus started grinning and laid back against his seat. « Remus makes a killer combination of ice cream and we know all the best TV shows, I'm fairly sure you have a similar taste to mine. Oh my, I can't imagine you with a face mask- »
« Please spare me. » Logan pretended to be scared for his life as the other couldn't contain his laughter anymore.
« It's too late. The plan is already in motion. »
Their conversation derailed until wine settled in to make everything more light hearted.
Remus ventured in the room around 10, announcing he was tired by letting half of his body rest on top of his uncle's legs. He carried him towards his bed and, that time, both Logan and Janus had sat down next to him for the night's storytelling.
✾✾✾✾
« Gosh, this really is harder than it originally sounded like. » Patton had been rubbing Roman's back for the past minutes as he had lost all the energy to dance after the previous week's realization.
Dare he say, he was actually trying to avoid Virgil in any kind of way. His absence would've probably helped him far more to finally approach Emile, anyway. He was just helping him further, wasn't he?
« I feel awful. » the nebula admitted, a sour taste in his mouth. « One-sided feelings are difficult to accept, though not impossible to overcome. It may sound stupid, but you'll feel better with time, Ro. I assure you. »
« You're right, it sounds stupid. » he had never heard his voice so low.
Patton smiled sadly. « I know. But I do feel like, instead of inconveniencing yourself further, you should spend as much time as you are allowed to with him. » he looked back at him. « And none says Emile automatically reciprocates. »
« Don't get my hopes up. »
« I was just saying. » Patton used his sing-song voice, the one that never failed to make Roman smile. « Either way, I'll always be here to be your moral support. »
« Believe me, you'll also always be a far better moral support than Zeta. »
« She isn't the best in that department. »
Both Patton and Roman looked up and the latter found Canopus sitting next to him.
« She thinks she looks out for people. She has good intentions, but she's still a little confused on her methods. » it was usual of her to defend Zeta, but Roman was glad she shared nothing of Ophiuchus' star's attitude.
« I think she should understand not every single one of us is under her supervision. »
Canopus nodded, lying against the column which was lining up perfectly with her back.
« Why has she left you alone? » Roman didn't mind her, she was actually one of the kindest stars he knew, but seeing her by herself made him skeptical.
« Did she hurt you? We would stand by your side in case! »
Canopus giggled and put up her hands. « It's okay. No, she's … talking to someone. » she pointed to Roman. « Your co-star? Virgil? »
That was the last straw-
« Don't you dare. » Patton pulled Roman back down on his seat, though the other was fuming with rage already. « Canopus, dear, why would Zeta converse with Virgil without you? »
« She said she needs to ask him a question. A rather personal question, something she didn't want me to know, I guess. » she looked into Roman's eyes with determination. « She vowed to never lie to me many, many years back. I'm sure she isn't saying anything about you. You know how she's all for honor, I don't think she would tell on you like that. »
As much as Zeta's ways had always been pretty drastic, Roman believed her, though the curiosity of what she might have been asking was eating him away.
More than being curious, for Virgil the experience was dreadful.
You suddenly saw one of the biggest stars in the room come up to you and ask about your feelings, like everyone in the room could've read you easily.
« This is going to sound weird. » she declared as she took Virgil's hand when they exchanged dancing partners. « But I need to know this out of you. Do you by any chance nurture any kind of romantic feelings towards Sirius A? »
Virgil felt dumbfounded. « No. » he quickly said, quicker than needed. « I do not. » he added, trying to mimic her poised nature.
« So, if there ever was another potential lover, you'd think the path would be clear for them? »
Was that hope in her voice? The tiniest tremble in a heated room.
« I definitely think so. » she glanced back in a direction unknown to Virgil.
« Thank you. » she whispered before disappearing back in the crowd; he stepped away from it, finding easily Emile's bright figure dancing and smiling like it was the first time with some stars unknown to him.
« Isn't he beautiful? »
Damn. That really was the richest night he had, huh?
Right next to him stood the Moon themselves; Remy was holding their glasses, letting their gleaming silver eyes rest for a while.
« Truly. » he agreed, letting the softness take him away.
« I couldn't ask for a more amazing dance partner every night. » Virgil wished he could share a piece of their happiness.
« I can only imagine. » he looked down, gaze fixed onto the Sun.
Remy titled their head. « You haven't danced with him yet? »
Virgil shook his head no and bite his lip. He so wished to do so.
« Then fear not, sweetie, I got your back. » they put back their sunglasses and carefully led Virgil to dance in swirls around the room, so that his next partner would have been Emile for sure.
« It's an experience to try. He's like, the most magnificent star I've ever met. »
« I know. » Virgil's tone was now more dreamy. « I've seen him everyday in front of me, I've been hoping to interact with him ever since I was little. »
« That sounds adorable, darling. Your wish is my command, humans use to wish upon stars, but it's truly only the Moon that hears them and guides them through their path. »
Remy noticed they were close to the partner change.
« One last question. What's your title? »
« Sirius B. I'm part of a binary star-system. » Virgil felt Remy's grip loosen on his hand and, slowly, he was let to someone else.
« Good luck, Virgil. »
Remy's nod was the last thing he saw before turning and finding Emile smiling down at him.
As for the Moon, he found himself dancing with Patton. « Ah! My favorite Nebula! »
« Hello Remy. » Patton giggled at Remy's extra antics. « I see you were talking to Virgil. »
« Yeah, the guy was totally scared. Like, girl, I know I'm a big deal, but you're starting to make me feel like royalty, that's going to feed my ego. » they let out a laugh, but composed themselves rather rapidly. « Say, he told me something that kind of left me perplexed. »
Oh, no.
Patton feared Virgil had disclosed his feelings, but he was pretty sure he wouldn't have been so ingenuous to reveal them to the Moon, of all presents.
« He seemed to express deep admiration for Emile. » was it really what he was thinking? « But he said he's in front of him? Like a childhood kind of admiration, you know? Someone you look up to ever since you're born. Weird, because last time I checked, Sirius B is in front of Sirius A. »
« Hold on. » Patton's eyes widened and the couple stopped in the middle of the room. « Are you telling me he hasn't been praising the Sun just because of all the stories about him, but because he has mistaken it for Roman? »
« Seems so. I wanted to let you know, in case there had been a misunderstanding. »
« Oh my gosh, Remy! » Patton pulled both of them out of the crowd. « That is fantastic news! »
« It is? Did I do a good job? Have I earned a gold star? » Remy smirked as the nebula laughed his heart out between his excitement and the pun.
They reached Roman in no time, who had decided to sit by himself during the entire night.
« You're not going to believe this, Ro! »
Patton took Roman's hands in his and smiled brightly as he narrated everything that had just happened with Remy's assistance when it came to what exactly happened between him and Virgil.
Despite now realizing that Virgil's feelings should have been directed at him, Roman's expression didn't differ.
« You do know that changes nothing, right? »
Patton's face fell. « Wh- »
« Pat, listen. Even if he'd mistaken his feelings for the wrong person, Virgil has still developed feelings for Emile, not for me. He isn't going to direct them towards me only because of a tiny mistake, it isn't how they work. »
Remy leaned over Patton. « Uh, I'm going to let you guys work this out, not because I'm jealous or whatever, promise. I don't wanna intrude. Hope you figure it out. » then they spared one last look for Roman. « But dude, why not tell him? He's still your friend, and he has only just met Emile, after feeding off of a false image of him. » then, the Moon shrugged. « But you do you, sir. Have a nice rest of the night. » with that, they disappeared.
« I won't force you, Ro. But do know that I support you. »
Roman didn't feel like having the same sharp daggers through his stomach again, yet a huge part of him was pulling him to his feet. With no other word, he let himself between the dancing couples.
And, of course, in no time he clasped hands with Zeta.
« Here for another lecture? »
« No, not tonight. »
Roman scoffed. « I thank you for blessing me. »
Silence fell between them as Roman caught sight of Virgil and the Sun. And their happiness. And how he had never made him smile so wide, how he had never made his eyes glimmer like that, how he hadn't gotten a single sparkle out of his cheeks the way he had had it on for the entirety of his dance with Emile.
Feeling under motivated, he looked away, deciding against intervening. Who was he to break his little dream?
Virgil really had been living his dream.
But everybody knows sometimes dreams tend to turn into nightmares.
« I'm glad I get to inspire the younger ones. » Emile made dancing feel natural. « Though I must ask you something as well, after seeing such adoration. » he looked in Virgil's eyes deeply. « Are you being true to yourself and honest with your feelings, Virgil? »
Agitation grew into him. « W-what would that mean? » he stuttered, his cover already blown.
« You don't have to lie about what you feel only because you fear the outcome. You already know that star in front of you is not me but it's Roman, you've known all along but you've masked it with me so Roman would have backed away thinking his interest was one sided. »
Virgil had never felt more read through in his entire life, like he had had the truth plastered on his face the entire time.
The guilt in his eyes told Emile he was spot on.
« Why is that so, little one? »
« Everybody knows what happens when two stars of a system collide they either become a single bigger star, or produce a black hole. » Virgil looked down. « I … I feared the outcome of our relationship. I figured if I made him step away, nothing like that would've happened. I didn't want to risk it. »
The Sun frowned. « You were ready to give up both of your happiness? »
« For the sake of potentially every star in this room? Yes. » he could taste his own sour words. « Nothing else matters. »
« Let me tell you something, Virgil. » Emile pulled them away from the crowd of dancers. « Usually, a black hole happens when there's a series of star collisions. A single star collision tends to merge the two stars into a supernova explosion. And yes, it is said that only one of the two will survive ultimately, but actually what survives is a mixture of the two. We call this a luminous red nova. This will only happen if your binary system ever experiences orbital decay. » Emil put a hand on Virgil's shoulder. « If you are careful about how you move and only meet during the sunrise and sunset dances, you're absolutely safe. Believe me. Okay? »
Virgil blinked a few times before stopping to bit his cheek and finally let a genuine smile creep on his face. « I do. I believe you. » he took a deep shaky breath, finally devoid of all the concerns in his mind. « Thank you. »
« Don't mention it, little one. Now, make me proud and go t- »
The Sun got interrupted by a loud crashing sound, like the sky had just broken up and started falling from the ceiling.
The two immediately looked behind themselves to find the most terrifying picture: every single star but one had been blown away, fallen to their feet as the only standing one started having a red aura around them. The luminous shade seemed to only grow wider and … warmer.
« Oh, Jupiter. This is not good. » Emile said as Virgil noticed Roman a few feet away from the standing star, staring wide eyed at them.
« What? What's going on? »
« It's Zeta Ophiuchi. » Emile slowly turned to Virgil, terror in his eyes. « It's turning into a Runaway star. »
✾✾✾✾
« So, what astronomers hypothesized up until now is that Zeta Ophiuchi had been previously part of a binary system itself, but its partner had exploded into a supernova, hurling Zeta at a very high speed through space. This is why they're called runaway stars. » Logan explained to Remus as he had been confused by the dramatic cliffhanger; he then turned to Janus. « That is fairly a very interesting way of portraying the beginning of a runaway star. I wonder what Roman had said to cause her to have that reaction. »
« Oh! I know! He rejected her. »
« Damn, » Janus furrowed his eyes at Remus. « You really don't like leaving some suspense here and there. »
« This is repay for when you told me you didn't know whether Roman was going to be okay. And he sure as hell doesn't sound okay now. »
Janus tucked his nephew into bed. « How about you sleep, you stinky little rat king? »
Remus whined. « You know that's my favorite nickname! I can't help but comply. » he suddenly lifted his hands. « Take me, arms of Orpheus. »
« It's Morpheus. » Logan pointed out.
« You're all boring. » he turned to the other side and, after half an hour, he gave out to his tiredness.
Ever since then, Logan started visiting whenever he could between shifts and free work days, sometimes he would stay for dinner, other times they would all watch movies together. Mostly Logan realized how he much had caught them in his heart and wanted to help around as much as it was possible for him.
Especially since that one other rather emotional night – again, in vino veritas – in which Janus had told him how hard it was to do everything on his own.
He obviously hadn't meant to ask Logan to do everything for him, but it was also a pretty important call for assistance and the astronomer was more than happy to fulfill the position.
« I apologize, » Janus had called from the hallway one evening. « Remus is having some trouble tonight, I'll be back in a minute, you can start watching anything if you'd like. »
It had been fairly twenty minutes since Janus had disappeared behind Remus's door: Logan couldn't help but be concerned, thus he got up, intending on asking whether some help was needed.
His purpose hadn't been to eavesdrop initially, really.
« Virgil had told Anguis that her stories were delightful, » Janus had told Remus as he stroked his hair. Remus's eyes were red and puffy. « He told her she should've pursued her dream and come to Earth to tell humans our adventures around space. He was the one to finally convince her, you know? She shined brighter than I had ever seen her. I was so happy she had made that choice. »
« I still am. I'm very glad we came to Earth. Even after everything that has happened, I couldn't imagine living million of years running through space without you. Without Logan. I'm happy to have fallen down here rather than be up there. »
« I still miss some stars, I miss Roman and Virgil very dearly … I had barely a chance to meet the others, but … I don't regret leaving them behind for this. »
Remus only stared at him, but seemed to nod and ultimately hug Janus tightly.
Logan couldn't make out what they murmured to each other, especially as he got lost in his thoughts.
So there were others?
« Oh- » he didn't notice Janus coming out of the room right after. « Oh f- Uh, how much did you hear? »
« Enough, I think. » Logan was still zoned out, which made him seem like he was completely uncaring.
« Well, uhm, you know how … stories you tell kids am I right? You pretend- »
« I'm an astronomer, Janus, » Logan begun, focusing on the other's eyes. « I know a lot about stars. I've seen you and Remus's faces literally light up. I also know stars can be people, you don't have to lie to me. » his tone was soothing, he still couldn't believe he had met another one. « I met one of you before, his name is Thomas. Thomas Sanders, to be specific. »
Janus's eyes widened. « The- The actor? »
« Exactly. I helped him out when he fell – right behind my house, to his luck – and as of now, we grew apart since he has been profoundly busy. We are still in contact, though. We actually meet up from time to time. »
« That … » Janus's expression was priceless, a mixture of disbelief and amazement. « I have no idea how to describe how I'm feeling right now.
Logan loved it so much.
« Thomas is writing a movie script as of now. He's given one of the characters my name. »
« You. » Janus pulled Logan away from the hallway. « Are, as of now, the coolest human being of my knowledge. »
They sat down on the couch, letting the TV show be their background noise.
« Why, I'm rather flattered. »
« Okay. » Janus took the glass of wine he had left on the table earlier, before taking a small sip out of it. « I'm ready. »
« For? »
« My actual life story. »
Logan tilted his head and laid back, ready to let the other talk. It had already been a stressful night, why not stay on theme?
« My sister and I were formerly two shooting stars. We used to travel through space and meet a wide range of stars, galaxies and planets. It was wonderful. Then we fell on Earth by choice. We quickly adapted to its customs somehow. Anguis and I met Clyde, they fell in love and I put my feelings aside in their favor, since … I heard my love isn't exactly condoned here. » he took another sip.
« When I told you she fell ill, it was actually her star self shutting down. She ultimately became stardust under our very own eyes. Clyde feared Remus and I would end up the same way, since even my nephew's part star. And then we were left alone. » he opened his arms. « I hope this tale entertained you as well. »
Logan didn't say anything before surging forward and taking Janus in a tight embrace. He wasn't intending on letting go anytime soon, especially when he felt his friend's sobs on his shoulder.
« What if it really happens? W-what if I lose Remus in the span of a week? I couldn't bear it. »
« What if you don't? What if he spends a wonderful fulfilling life thanks to the possibilities you're offering him? What if you get to see him grow old and spend all your last moments knowledgeable that he is happy thanks to you? Because never in your life the thought of abandoning him ever crossed your mind. »
Logan tightened his hug. « You are a spectacular guardian, Janus. Take it from someone who knows how it feels to be neglected. You have nothing to fear, and it's normal to feel doubtful every now and then. » he loosened it after, so he could look him in the eyes. « Whatever happens, you can face it like you have always done. Okay? »
Janus nodded and muttered a low okay, right after he almost didn't register Logan giving him a forehead kiss.
« I hope you will feel more free to tell me anything that bothers you, now that I know. »
« You're the only one I can turn to. » Janus smiled sadly, averting his eyes.
« Well then, » he took his hands and guided him on his feet. « I am honored to be at your service. Come, now. »
Logan took him to his bedroom so he could rest sooner, but as he helped him lay down, he felt something tug at his shirt. He turned and saw Janus's fingers laced on the fabric.
« Could you stay? » he drowsily asked, his voice barely audible like he was afraid to talk any louder, or at all.
Logan smiled softly and nodded; he proceeded to close the front door and turn off the lights for him. Afterwards, he laid next to the other and stroked his hair until he fell asleep.
He was confused.
Had he always felt attracted by him because of the star's pull, or were his feelings lying to him? Why did he care so much? Why did he want to do anything in his power to ease their lives?
Why hadn't he stopped to caress Janus's face and look at him as soon as he'd fallen asleep? Why would he rather have him in his arms like before?
He wanted to hold his hand longer, let him know he was there in case he had a nightmare.
Still, Janus had simply asked him to stay.
That he was going to do.
After that night, Logan had chosen to give Janus some more space. A few days had passed when he received a very welcome message from one of his acquaintances.
He was quick to text Janus about it as well: Thomas had just asked him if they could meet up that week, which would've been the perfect time for them to meet as well.
They could have also shared their experiences and get other stuff off of their chests, stuff only both of them would understand. Plus he was sure it would've been nice to have someone like you to talk to for instance.
Not even a minute after, Janus wrote back to him, talking about how excited he would've been to meet up with them as well.
It all led to one particular afternoon at a café, Logan had just introduced Janus and Remus to Thomas, who they found out used to be a very small galaxy on the brink of crashing and becoming a black hole. He lost all of his stars, but at least he saved himself.
He confessed he had a freckled pattern of them on his back.
It didn't surprise him how they clicked immediately.
Thomas talked about his project, this movie where he would talk to different aspects of his personality and work through issues about himself and grow as a person.
« The funniest bit about this is that I'm not human, thus I experienced the most childish dilemmas at an old age. » as Thomas chuckled, Janus was sure he had seen the galaxy's stars in his eyes twinkle as well.
« But enough about me, Logan told me you tell wonderful stories! » Thomas's eyes lit up immediately. « I also asked him a bit about you in general, and honestly dude. You give me major Disney villain vibes. »
Janus put a hand on his chest. « Why, thank you. »
Thomas chuckled. « I was thinking, would you like to contribute to a character I have in mind? He's pretty complex and I have a feeling your thinking would suit him amazingly. »
« Oh. » Janus's mouth hung open. « I … I don't know what to say- »
« Yes! Say yes, I want my character too! Can I have one? » Remus jumped out from his seat and leaned over Thomas as the other man giggled. « I want something gross! »
« I like your unusual thinking, kiddo. » Thomas rested his chin on his hand. « I do have an idea for a character correlated to intrusive thoughts … What's your favorite color, Remus? »
« Green! »
The former galaxy pulled out a notebook from his bag, taking down everything he had just learnt. « I can work with that. »
« Hey uncle, you think we could add Roman and Virgil too? Maybe even Patton? »
Janus cleared his throat, ready to say something similar to the fact that they shouldn't impose anything on Thomas, but was promptly cut off by the man himself as Logan told Remus he had had a wonderful idea.
« Oh? » a sly smile appeared on his lips. « Do tell me more about them? »
Janus scratched his neck and let his hand rest on his shoulder. « Uhm, it's kind of a long story, but it's about these two stars my sister and I met before falling on Earth. »
The former galaxy couldn't have seemed more intrigued: Remus came to the rescue, providing an insightful summary of the previous events, with Logan's assistance, justifying some space facts Thomas had forgotten during his life on Earth.
« You absolutely have to tell me more, dude. »
« As you wish, » Janus assumed his usual storytelling position on the café's seat, looking then both at his nephew and Logan. « Are you guys ready for the great finale? »
✾✾✾✾
In an instant, Virgil had found himself on the ground; Emile had thrown him down so the second blow of Zeta wouldn't have hit him as much, but the Sun kept running, aiming to protect the Moon with everything he had in his potential.
Virgil's every limb was trembling as he pulled himself up by the elbows, sliding forward until he reached something to sustain himself up: he looked around and saw the stupidest star in the galaxy doing the stupidest thing in the universe.
Roman was already standing, trying to coax whatever had caused Zeta to explode, without success.
« You! » she roared, as Emile and Remy started gathering stars around to let them out as fast as they could. « You are an hypocrite! After everything I've done for you! » there was another blow, to which Virgil reacted by doubling over again.
Roman stood still, which was permitted by his star's strength. « I'm sorry I can't reciprocate your feelings Zeta! I can't fake them either! »
« Shut up! »
As another blow hit the room, Virgil tried to slither on the floor the closest he could to the couple: it was then that he understood Roman was numbing down Zeta's crashing energy by taking all the blows on himself.
That idiot.
Roman made a false move by averting his gaze to Virgil on his right, rather than focusing on the soon-to-be runaway star. Zeta followed it, feeling the burning of her insides even stronger than before.
In that single second of haziness, chaos was unleashed.
They all had less than a second to react: Roman ducked to his right, using himself as a shield to protect Virgil, still disoriented by the previous blow.
A single hit from her curve and Virgil would've been detached from their binary system and become a runaway star as well.
Emile rapidly pushed Remy out of the palace along with the other stars, fearing for their well-being as he already knew the consequences Zeta was going to cause.
When he turned back, hearing the Moon's “wait!” before closing the entrance, she had already been violently circulating in the room, everything she hit crumbled to pieces, her final goal being the two stars that had caused her infinite dolence.
She had spiraled out of control.
« Roman! » Emile tried to avoid the falling bricks of marble in every direction, shielding his eyes from the dust. « We cannot withstand her power any longer, we have to leave! »
Virgil looked rapidly between the two, shortly glanced at where Zeta was heading and ran in her opposite direction, taking Roman's hand in his as the Sun went along them.
The entrance had already been blocked, thus there was a single emergency exit remaining: the balcony.
The three ran down the hallways, scrambling to their feet here and there everytime Zeta crashed into the walls and the ceiling, the lights already out.
Everything went wrong when Roman let go of Virgil's hand and locked him and Emile out of the hallway, free to run to their salvation.
They immediately turned to him.
« What the fuck do you think you're doing? » Virgil punched the glass door, while Roman's expression displayed determination and slight regret.
« I'm the strongest star between all of us. I can keep her at bay as you guys get to a safe location- Please, just let me do this. »
« Are you out of your mind?! And leave you in this crumbling place where you'd never get out alive? » Virgil powered up, his eyes and fists becoming pure light and fire. He punched the glassed entrance further, breaking it instantly this time.
Roman's eyes widened and he watched Virgil tug him down by the shirt.
« Don't you get it? It's you, you fool. It's always been you. » Virgil's voice sounded between desperate and on the verge of crying, in need to let out all of the words he'd never been able to before. « I had a hard time admitting it to myself because I was scared but it's always been you I loved. »
Roman couldn't quite believe the words he was hearing, thinking he had to be hallucinating after all the hits taken by Zeta. Tears welled up in his eyes before he could register them, he then raised a hand to cup Virgil's cheek.
« And now I don't care anymore. I don't care, either we die because of a black hole or for a runaway star, it doesn't matter! » he breathed in, hiccuping in the middle of it, before looking back up at Roman. « I will be with you, because I love you. I love you and I'm not scared. »
Roman felt hysterical, letting out a muffled laugh between his sobs. « I love you too. » he took Virgil's face in both his hands and pressed their lips together almost desperately. And there he knew there hadn't been a collision he would've wanted more than that one.
As they parted, Virgil turned to Emile, who had been trying to reduce the blows for as long as they could have some more minutes.
« Go. You're way too important. »
Roman nodded. « We will handle it. »
The Sun spared them one last look, one of those that meant everything from gratitude to the deepest admiration.
When he was gone, Virgil took Roman's hand yet again, maybe for the last time, he thought, and they ventured back in the halls together.
They tightened their grips the more the crashes became unsustainable.
Looking at the ceiling and up ahead, the two understood there was no way for them to progress any further. Roman placed them in front of a window, then he called Zeta to them.
As she inverted her course to reach them, the two embraced each other.
« Scared? » Roman murmured, looking in his eyes.
« Not one bit. » Virgil's soft and imperceptible smile was exactly what Roman would've wished to see last of him.
A blinding light surrounded them, both powering themselves up to take in Zeta's hit and protect each other as best as they could.
Then, the final blow came.
And everything turned dark as a black hole.
It didn't take much for the Sun and the Moon to reconstruct a palace for the sunset dance of the same day, apart from a small eclipse to be formed as the two worked together.
For the first time in forever, they took much longer to show up.
Remy and Emile kept each other's balance as they checked their previous half destroyed palace; the remains kept perfectly gravitating in the same place as before, as though the signs left by Zeta hadn't mattered or damaged them at all.
There was hope, they couldn't deny it, the kind of hope that set yourself up for disappointment.
It was on their third time of jumping around bits of pavement that they decided to give up, sure that there wasn't anything they had left behind.
On the Sun's hallway, where everything was unusually almost untouched, compared to the rest of the building, Remy held Emile's hands as he helped him down a pile of debris.
Something glowed from under their feet, reflecting its light on Remy's sunglasses for a brief moment: they immediately looked down and crouched as their partner curiously asked what he had noticed.
Remy inspected the marble rocks, until he felt some that had definitely a warmer temperature.
Either that was where Zeta had last gone, or …
« Help me take these away. » the Moon's resolute voice made Emile immediately comply.
There it was.
There they were.
Surrounded by a faint purple light, Virgil and Roman laid on the floor in each other's arms, unconscious.
Remy and Emile exchanged looks before lifting a star each and walking away from the desolate place.
Virgil's eyes opened as Emile and Remy parted in each other's new wings, his foggy vision permitted him to make out barely Roman's blacked out face in the distance.
« Ro- » Remy noticed him shifting in their arms. « Did I? No- » he whined, but the Moon shushed him kindly and, just like that he nodded off to sleep again.
Roman didn't comprehend why he had woken up in the Sun's room.
He pulled himself up from the bed, noticing how the room's seemed to have been re-decorated.
Like they had completely changed places.
It hit him in that exact moment, when he saw his ballroom clothes completely different, the pounding headache barely healed.
He made it?
Did that mean …?
Before he knew it, he was running in the hallway.
And someone was running towards him, hugging him on sight.
« For all the galaxies, Roman! » Patton squeezed him tight like he hadn't seen him in a billion eons. « That was not the right time to play the hero! » Patton pulled away that much to look him in the eyes. « I am so glad you're alive. » he then said, his voice as broken as the window he last remembered.
Canopus was right along him, but, differently from him or the Sun and Moon's warm expressions, she looked melancholy.
Roman had always suspected she had feelings for Zeta.
He approached her and took her hand in his. « I'm sorry. It's m- »
« She did it to herself. » she admitted, before looking up. « It would've been worse if you lied to her only to please her. » she displayed a sad smile. « I would've hated you only on that occasion. It's okay, Roman. I'm going to be alright. »
Roman realized he had underestimated Canopus's strength, but he was grateful he did.
And now, the big moment.
« Where …? »
« Where you already know. »
Emile and Remy parted to let a path behind them, which was leading to two massive golden doors.
Roman paced towards them, wasting no time in fiddling with the handles as he pushed them open.
If he ever had to imagine what happened to stars when they died, he wished it was exactly like that.
That palace's terrace was much bigger than the one they last saw Emile on; Virgil was waiting, looking at the sunset take place in front of him in the distance, unaware of his system partner.
He only turned around as he heard Roman sigh in relief at his sight.
As much as he wanted to run to him instantly, he kept one hand on the parapet and simply looked fondly at him as Roman stepped towards him.
Roman took his free hand and leaned on the rails as well, taking one quick glance at the beauty of nature.
He made slow movements, trying to realize whether or not Virgil was real, before circling him with his arms around Virgil's waist.
« Still not scared? » he whispered it like a secret between them.
Virgil's cheeks had already lit up as soon as he exited the ballroom. « I won't ever be anymore. » he confessed, resting his forehead against Roman's.
And it was true.
At last, he wasn't scared to touch him anymore.
At last, there were no more secrets to be uncovered.
At last, they could dance together.
✾✾✾✾
Silence followed Janus's last words: he waited for reactions, but all he saw were the three's gazes fixed on the table, Thomas's mouth ajar, like he had just made the deepest revelation.
« I- » Thomas looked back at the storyteller. « I loved everything you said. I loved every single word you pronounced, holy stars! » he tried to compose himself. « This is incredible. Just- Listen, this is going to sound very sudden, but- Would you ever consider being a script-writer with me? We could work on this movie together, your way of talking- I'm sure it would be just as wonderful if you wrote all of that down. Your words are magnificent! »
Janus had met him to be able to talk to someone like him, and there he was, being offered one of the most astounding jobs in his life.
He was stunned.
Remus hit his hands on the table. « Absolutely! » he answered in his uncle's stead. « Please, join my uncle! »
« I- » Janus's face broke into a wide smile. « It can be arranged, yes. » he laughed slightly. « I would love to! » he almost didn't notice Logan's hand in his.
He didn't definitely notice the astronomer's affectionate gaze, feeling not only butterflies but an entire species of animals running in his stomach at the sight of Janus's excitement.
Oh, how he loved the way his face lit up, how his eyes glimmered bright even on a sunny day.
« Wonderful cause I have plenty of new ideas! I might even consider Remy and Emile somewhere … »
The conversation went on, but Logan wasn't able to hear anything else other than how melodious Janus's voice sounded all of a sudden.
Janus couldn't stop talking about it even after they arrived back at the apartment, barely able to exit his car while Remus had already gone up the stairs and opened the door to let himself in.
« I just- For the Moon, Logan! A scriptwriter! Beside a famous actor who used to reside in space! » he had taken Logan's hand in his own. « I'm simply blown away! »
They stopped at the beginning of the stairs.
« Gosh, this is all thanks to you. » Janus looked up at him, sparkles all around him as he smiled fondly.
Logan's heart couldn't have possibly been happier, finding the sight extremely endearing.
When had they started hugging? He was so lost in his gaze …
« Your eyes are always so bright and glowy and beautiful. »
Janus blinked twice, his expression shifting slightly.
« It's like I could recognize every single constellation in them. »
He raised his hands to rest them on Logan's cheeks and brush them with his thumbs. « I love you. »
Janus leaned in and kissed him. « I love you so much. » he whispered before the other kissed him back, slowly.
They exchanged more, resonating they could never have enough, until they heard someone call from above.
« Is Logan going to be my new uncle?! »
They parted and looked up, seeing an excited Remus run around in excitement.
« Holy sh- »
« I knew it. »
✾✾✾✾
It was the day of the premiere of Thomas and Janus's movie.
The two were sitting next to Logan and Remus on the front seats, delightfully waiting for it to finally air for everybody else in the world.
Remus watched Thomas unable to stay silent one minute, his uncles holding hands, as their engagement rings glimmered in the semi-dark room.
He thought back of what life was before Logan came around, before Janus had started telling him stories of the people he and his mother had encountered.
Never would he have thought he would have been sitting in front of a soon-to-be bestseller movie's first airing, nearly two years after, with a new relative he deeply loved and new friends like him.
He hadn't known nothing of the sky.
But now he did.
Remus took Logan's hand and both he and Janus looked down at him, a genuine and caring smile on their faces as Thomas's voice echoed with the opening of the movie.
« What is up everybody?! »
He finally knew everything he needed to know.
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Of Stories and Songs: Ch 8
A lot of author notes, I know, but there’s no avoiding that. A TON of stuff happens in this chapter.
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Author notes: I really REALLY need to stop making long chapters. 22 pages! Like I never get them out and I get “fatigued” or something when I make them super long like this. I also wouldn’t have to make such long author notes.
Inb4 my family thinks I’m creepy for breathing into my phone while recording.
I actually couldn’t figure out how to get the audio files off my phone, but you’re really not missing much anyways. Just when you get to the part of the story, take a deep breath in and listen to how it sounds when you take a deep breath in. Change it up by changing how fast you breath the air in, and listen. Yes, that was exactly what I was going for.
Character names and the Imagineers they were named after:
Claude = Claude Coates
Michael Davis = Mark Davis
Karen Anderson = Ken Anderson
Solomon Gracey= Yale Gracey
Rolly Mortimer= Rolly Crump
The Atencio company = X Atencio
Nell is named after the main character of the Haunting of Hill House *(as well as named after the author of that story). And Galloway isn’t anything important or a reference; it just sounded cool at the time.
Yes, I did indeed try to draw that creepy hand that passes over the grandfather clock. I’m sad it didn’t turn out quite right, but I dislike the act of drawing too much to actually bother fixing that piece up.
“Closing your eyes” : When I was young, my mother would always close my eyes when the Ghost Host would show his body hanging from the rafters. I thought she did it because I was afraid of the thunder and lightning, and she was known to hold my eyes whenever something I found scary happened on other rides. Even though thunder is a SOUND and not a sight, it did feel comforting to have her put her hands over my eyes anyways. It took me a long, long time to figure out the real reason she closed my eyes was because she didn’t want me to see the hanged man. Part of that was because I didn’t know it was a hanged man, even when I had a chance to look at it. It just looked like a weird clump of clothes hanging from the ceiling. So I guess in some ways, she didn’t even need to hold my eyes close to begin with (because I would not have known even if I looked at it); but I still appreciated that she went through the effort.
The idea of three people creepily coming closer and closer to you after having cornered you is kind of what I imagined the Cast Members would totally do to guests that don’t listen and leave the ride vehicles without permission. You know...if security didn’t have to be involved and they were allowed to be theatrical.
So in the actual ride, there are TWO stretching rooms for all Haunted Mansion locations. In WDW, they exist on either side of the Aging Man portrait. They are exactly identical, and I always thought it would be fun to imagine that they are the EXACT same room, and that the house just moves rooms around.
The door hidden in the darkness of the foyer is an actual door in WDW that I’ve been through. It connects to the small pet cemetery area right outside the exit doors of the ride. I’ve been through it before and it was totally awesome; might talk about it in another post.
There are actually two versions of Nell; the one in this story and the one that I roleplay. For all intents and purposes, they have the exact same personality, likes, and etc, but they just have different backstories and reasons for being at the mansion. In case anyone was confused.
I struggled, for a long time, to figure out what year this story ought to take in (as in, what year the two teens come to the mansion). There are benefits and downsides to both “modern era” and 1960s, the two time periods I considered. On the one hand, the 1960s could avoid the idea of under age drinking because the age was 18 back then (in the state of Virginia). The reason why I mention this is because there was a plot point that I...really don’t want to have to avoid all because the main characters don’t drink. I think I pretty much solved this dilemma in this chapter though, without underage drinking (even if I had to do so in a bit of an unrealistic way, sorry about that). Additionally, there would be no cell phones 1960s to ruin the story (as they call for help). On the other hand, it also means I cannot use modern day slang, ideas, memes, and etc....I think I’ve decided to kind of....let this story be in the modern day....possibly. I don’t know, I just might change my mind later. The struggle is real.
I may have forgotten a few author notes, in which case I apologize beforehand.
FINALLY, I dedicate this chapter to my dear friend, @asktheghosthost . Thank you for always listening, thank you for all the good times and good stories we’ve made together, thank you for reblogging these story chapters, thank you for pulling me back in the Haunted Mansion fandom...and thank you for helping to inspire this story.
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Trigger warnings: ghosts, death concepts/discussions, murder, suicide, abuse, blood, lots of scary stuff (horror), implied sexual abuse, cursing (damn and hell), drug abuse, domestic violence, attempted rape (never completed; in a later chapter).
This chapter: underage drinking (except not really. You’ll understand when you get to it)
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Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5 ,
Chapter 6 , Chapter 7
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CH 8: Dust and Ashes
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All of my life I spent searching the words of poets and saints and prophets and kings
~
Now at the end all I know that I've learned is that all that I know is I don't know a thing
~Dust and Ashes, from Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812.
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Karen pulled the blanket closer to her as they descended downward. It was warmer in the stairway, but only just so; the more they descended, the closer the temperature got to the frigid room she’d woken up in previously.
“…Mr. Mortimer…I’m confused.”
“I can’t blame you none for that. I’d probably be the same, were I in your shoes.”
He kept pace beside her, his cane ticking with every step.
“What I meant was: Why are we going down? Shouldn’t we be going up?”
“We’re already up as high as we can get, young’un. Nowhere for us to go but down.”
“Wha--?”
She stopped, and Mr. Mortimer’s cane clicked to a halt as he, too, stopped a little ways in front of her.
“Where was that? The place we were before with all the junk?”
“That would be the attic.”
Karen considered this.
“Mr. Mortimer…why…did you go through all the trouble of carrying me up to the attic? What was the point if we just have to climb all the way down again?”
Mr. Mortimer chuckled, his gold teeth glistening in the act. The warmth of his tone, however, hardly made the sight terrifying.
“I certainly would not have gone through the trouble of gettin’ a living body all the way to the attic…You were already nearby.”
She gaped at him, trying to keep up with his logic.
“But I fell down a chasm of staircases…”
“No, you fell up a chasm of staircases.”
“That’s not even physically possible!”
“Talking about the physical in a house of ghosts, hmm? Trust me, young’un. Those sets of staircases you’ve been hanging about in are the very opposite of possible. Don’t think too hard about it, as it doesn’t make much sense even to us.”
He gestured for the two of them to continue, and she numbly caught up to his pace.
“If I…” She adjusted the blanket as they walked side by side. “…If I had fallen all the way…”
He frowned. “…Best not think of things like that. Won’t do nothing but worry yourself.”
She gave him a startled look, and he returned it with solemn nod.
She went quiet again for a bit, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. This stairway, at least, seemed to be relatively normal. Contained on all sides by walls, yet the rickety nature of it still threatened to trip her should she neglect to watch her step. Tiny spiders crawled along one of the walls. Tiny red spots on their backs that made them look like drops of blood circulating around them.
“…I’m sorry I didn’t say it before but…Thank you for saving me, Mr. Mortimer…”
“I’m afraid I can’t take all the thanks, young’un. Because I’m not the one who stopped yer fall.”
“Then who did?”
Mr. Mortimer paused again, and his gaze followed the trail of spiders.
All of them, the exact same appearance. All of them, traveling the exact same lines. Single Filed. Mindless and unnatural.
“Are those really spiders?” Instantly, she regretted the question, just as she was sure she’d regret the answer.
He sighed. “No. They aren’t. But that’s a right hard topic to talk about, and I ain’t too sure it’s my place to say. We better press on.”
His tone suggested that he’d prefer a change in subject, and his cane clacked as he continued forward again.
But Karen lingered a while by the spiders, watching them go from one end of the wall to the other. Black beady bodies with bright red spots each. A larger one was lingering above the traveling group with the same shade on its hairy exoskeleton as all the rest.
She looked from the tiny creatures lining the wall to the little bites that still lined her hand. These had to have been the same sort of spiders that fixed the window…and the floor…and attacked her for trying to interfere with their work.
The spiders stopped. Unanimously and simultaneously, they all turned towards her and lifted up their front two legs.
She took a startled step backwards.
“I’m sorry!” She said, wondering if they actually understood her. Her legs compelled her on to catch up to Mr. Mortimer, and a quick glance behind her told her that the spiders resumed their mindless trek once again.
“They’re so creepy…” She muttered as she was once again beside him.
“That they are,” The skeletal Mr. Mortimer said.
“Have they always been part of the house?”
“As far as I’m aware. Mr. Gracey told me he remembered seeing some of them back when he was alive, though it’s difficult to say whether they’d been upkeepin’ the house back then the way they do now.”
“How could he…not remember whether there were strange spiders rebuilding the house from underneath his feet?”
Mr. Mortimer gave a snorted laugh. “If you ever meet Mr. Gracey, I think you’d do well to keep that comment to yerself.”
“I already have, and I already think he doesn’t like me.”
Mr. Mortimer raised an eyebrow at her. “Oh? Why do you say that?”
“He was just…”
She thought back to all the memories she had of Solomon Gracey, and the contrast it stood to her own personal experience meeting him. The resulting earthquake he seemed to summon right then and there in the hallway.
“…Really grumpy.” She settled on that, although it seemed a severe understatement.
“Likely was just angry with that Mr. Claude. He assumes all mortals that come this way are the result of that man luring them here. And he’s usually right.”
“Mr. Claude?”
“Ah...” He tutted to himself. “Sorry. Tried to remember not to call him that around you; I don’t think he likes the mortals using that name. But you would know him to be the self-proclaimed ‘Ghost Host’.”
Karen tightened the blanket around herself. “He has a name?”
“Just the one. No surname, no title names, no family names. Just Claude. Doubt it’s even his real name, the wretch does like his little nicknames, but it’s the only one he’s ever given us to address him.”
The Ghost Host, imagined as a once real and living person. Even in the one memory where she saw him as a mortal, it was hard to think of him as human. Having something of a name attached to him did almost nothing to wave away the inherent ethereal nature of his existence. In fact, it almost felt…discomforting that he should have a name at all.
“Him and Mr. Gracey didn’t much like each other even way back when,” Mr. Mortimer continued, “And their fightin’ didn’t get any better in death either. If anything, it got worse. Sometimes see them go at each other’s throats like starving bears maulin’ each other over a fresh kill.”
They stopped at a landing, and Mr. Mortimer opened up the door into another hallway.
“As it happens, Mr. Claude is the one who likes to lure in unsuspectin’ mortals, and occasionally shows them off to Mr. Gracey because the ol’ wretch knows it will get the master of the house right and proper pissed at him. Mr. Gracey doesn’t approve o’ tricking mortals into the house, you see. It’s all a lot o’ prime entertainment for Claude. ”
“So Mr. Gracey isn’t really angry at me, then?”
“I’m sure he’s a bit peeved. Mortals shouldn’t hang about here. They can get themselves hurt, and there ain’t much of a good reason for them to be fraternizing with the dead. Leads to all sorts of things, like ghost hunters and….not so good expectations about what it means to die. So I can’t say he’s much happy that you’re here. But he’s a right sort, a good man, and even though he’s a little, as you say,…”
He gave her an aside, his sea green eyes glittering at her as he smiled.
“…Grumpy, he won’t hesitate to help you if you’re in need of it.”
They wandered down a hallway that she could only describe as splattered with crimson; red carpets all across the floor, red wallpaper with a strange floral design, and even the lights seem to glow a bit red. Or maybe that last was simply a trick of the eye.
Mr. Mortimer suddenly slowed his pace, and as she peered at him she could see his ghostly brow furrowed in concentration.
“Speaking of, young ‘un…”
The sound of the wind drifted through the halls; strange as it was since there were no apparent windows about.
“….If anything should happen to me, you’ll need to go and find Solomon. The wretch Claude will try to stop you, he’ll try to throw illusions to make you go his way, and you’ll need to swallow your fear and go down the scariest looking path to find Solomon. Solomon will help you.”
She was staring at him. “What….do you mean….?”
His eyes squinted; they looked off into the hallway and did not pay her heed “…It seems the wretch is about…Might be comin’ our way…”
“You can tell?” She tried to look down the hallway as well, but could see nothing out of place. It got colder; the wind shifted to breeze past her.
He shifted the hatbox to his cane hand so that he could grab her arm.
“Quickly now, young’un.” He said, pulling her along back the way they came. “We best be making our way back to the attic.”
“But why?”
“He never goes into the attic.”
And Mr. Mortimer left it at that, a note of finality in his tone that assured her he was not going to give her any other explanation.
They made their way, at a much quicker pace, down the red rimmed hallway again and back into the stairwell. He urged her to go up the stairs two at a time, a frantic pace that she was sure she wouldn’t have managed if he had not kindly helped pull up her weight with him. But even as they made it up their way up floors, the stairs seemed dauntingly and sadistically too tall.
“Can’t understand why he’s this dogged insistent… Plenty o’ mortals, psychic and not, have come by before and he never seemed this obsessed…What’s different here…? If I had known…if I had known…Ah, what a fool ya are, Rolly…” Mr. Mortimer muttered to himself. “Should have kept her in the attic, ya should…”
They made it to their third landing, before she suddenly buckled; an eerie, freezing sensation traced her spine and filled her with dread. And almost immediately as the feeling came, Mr. Mortimer spun her behind him and….
…And he was thrown against the wall.
She never saw it coming, for there was nothing to see. The invisible entity rammed the greenish hued Mortimer up against the wood of the stairwell; she could see Mr. Mortimer struggling against it, his “body” glowing and misaligning and fading a bit as he fought. She clenched her ears at the horrifying sound it seemed to produce, a cross between a woman screaming, a metal screw turning, and a set of nails rippling down a dry chalkboard. It penetrated her head.
Mr. Mortimer seemed to throw his attacker off him, as his feet were then on the floor. His glow sputtered as he slammed his cane onto the floor in an effortful movement; the screaming chalkboard sound returned again and she stumbled against the wall to hold herself up.
But it did not seem to last long. Mr. Mortimer was back and pinned against the wall again, his glowing form turning to glowing fog, and the glowing fog obscuring her from seeing him properly.
Until the fog cleared, but there was no sign of Mr. Mortimer.
There was a painting of him instead.
“Mr…” She gulped his name back down, afraid of what she was seeing. Her hand shakily reached up to touch the elaborate frame of the perfectly painted portrait of the man who had just been beside her.
“Crying for the dead is encouraged in this house.”
There was a twinge of anger that she couldn’t just brush away as she turned to the empty air.
“What did you do to him?!”
“Don’t feel so bad. It isn’t as though I killed him. Merely punished for trying to kidnap you away from me.”
“He wasn’t kidnapping me!”
“Oh but that is precisely why I have to frame him for it…
Ahmmh mhmm hmmm ha ha haaaa HA!��
She went back to the portrait. Mr. Mortimer’s jaw seemed clenched in anger, his eyes glowering.
“Young….un….” She was surprised to hear a whisper coming from it, barely audible over Claude laughing over his own stupid joke.
“Solomon…..find….run….harder….to….catch….moving target…”
“But….what about you?” She whispered back.
The edged colors around his face seemed to soften a bit. “I…am...fine…”
She looked back at the open air; the damnable voice was still laughing as though his greatest enjoyment was to hear himself.
A quick adjustment of the blanket…Karen took a deep breath….then charged right through the nearby landing’s doorway.
The Ghost Host stopped laughing. “Oh? Are we playing the running game now? A bit of cat and mouse? What fun.”
She spun around the corner of the doorway, but was pulled back for a moment by an invisible force of vice-like cold. She struggled a moment, trying to twist it off her, before finally shoving off the blanket towards her attacker.
A tall figure.
The blanket outlined against a tall figure, where there had previously been nothing before. Its head was bent in a sickening angle, like the neck had been broken.
But she did not give herself a pause to absorb this; the grip on her had loosened and she took the opportunity to bolt down the hallway.
Red carpet, red walls, and as she propelled herself forward, her lungs drinking air, little spider spots came pouring down from the corner edges of the hall. First in a sprinkling, then in buckets as she traveled onwards.
Mostly, they spilled over the walls themselves, but a few occasionally dropped down from the middle of the ceiling and landed on her head. She brushed them off, again and again.
Her feet came to a halt at the junction, and her heart skipped a beat to see that one of her optional paths involved statues. A LOT of statues. The same kind of statue that had chased her before. But this path had a whole horde of them, scattered all the way into the darkness of the furthest she could see.
The other path looked clear.
He’ll try to throw illusions to make you go his way.
Mr. Mortimer’s words rang in the back of her head and she balked. How was she to know whether this were an illusion or a genuine herd of statue ghosts?
The shadow of a clawed hand, The Ghost Host’s distinctive chuckle phased in around her. The shadow claw circled her like a shark, twitching its fingers in anticipation of a single mistake on her part.
Karen cursed under her breath; not just directed at the Ghost Host, but herself. For the next thing she knew her adrenaline had already made the choice to charge. Straight into the hallway of statues.
It took a few ticks for her mind to catch up with her; the moment she thought this choice wasn’t a bad one after all was on the heels of the moment she noticed the statues were turning to face her. Grinding sounds of stone on wood and fifty pairs of stone weary eyes straight on her. She dipped and dodged around them, too scared to look back to see if claw hand or statue was following.
But she could feel them all pressing in around her. The sounds of scraping surrounding her...then one of her arms got caught. She managed to wretch it away.
But it happened again….and again…And until the other arm was snagged…and then her waist….her legs…stone hands grabbing her neck…her head….pulling her down with them….the restraints too strong…
She turned to look down the hallway to a vanishing freedom…took a deep breath as much as the stone arms would allow…And yelled:
“SOLOMON GRACEY!”
The statues froze in their grasp of her. No longer did they push to pull her to the ground.
And she swore she heard, to her great satisfaction, a grunt of annoyance coming from her long-standing invisible tormentor. Anything that annoyed the Ghost Host couldn’t possibly be a bad idea.
Sure enough, the walls began to shake. Vases on nearby corner tables toppled over, specks of dust trickled down from the ceiling. That sickening, cold spine feeling that she was beginning to associate with the Ghost Host began to dissipate…..and the statues started dissipating with it. One by one, as the earthquake rippled across the hall their forms smudged like a blurry photograph, before disappearing altogether.
Her body was released and she fell to the floor with a thud. The feel of rough stone was replaced….with a distinct taste of licorice. She swallowed to try and get the strange, sudden taste from her mouth, but it persisted. And the earthquake slowly died down.
She was alone and it was fantastically quiet.
“You…” A whisper on the air breathed. She looked up, only to distressingly find a pair of vivid, blue glints glaring down at her from the darkness of the far hall.
“You shouldn’t be here…” It continued, blue eyes moving towards her.
It sounded like someone taking in a long, deep breath.
And there was dust and ash.
Dust and ash….
It was like dust and ash….
Swirling together….coalescing….combining….until she could make out a face….a mouth….a nose….from the dust and ash came also the sleeves of a suit….a hand formed from the particles….legs….a person….
An angry person. A furious person.
The breath sound that lingered on the wind exhaled just as he was fully realized.
Though she had been rooted in the spot, in awe of watching a ghost forming himself in front of her, her adrenaline was still strongly beating in her veins. And it was this drive that caused her to stumble back, a frantic yearning to run screaming in her head.
As he advanced even closer to her, that internal screaming fueled her into dashing down the other hallway.
A candelabra blocked her way. A floating candelabra.
Another sound like someone taking a deep breath in….Dust and ash swirled around the candlesticks, the smell of roses, the wax dripping alongside the specks, until the figure of a woman appeared. Grey eyes, black hair, green dress; the head maid from the memories.
The breath exhaled.
She, too, advanced towards Karen, candelabra in her now mostly formed, dust dripping hand.
“P-please…” Karen stammered. But she herself wasn’t quite sure what she wanted to ask for.
Her feet took her down the last hallway, only to be cut off by a third figure.
Deep breath.
Dust and ash…
Dust and ash swirled once more, and a man in a green suite formed. Birds chirping. The breath exhaling…The dust settling off his shoulders as he guarded her final escape route and proceeded forward towards her.
Trapped on all sides. The master from the left, the head maid from the front, and the head butler from the right all converging on to her location, one step after another. A marked pace that noted they had all the time in the world to reach her.
And what would they do once they’ve accomplished this? She pressed her back against the wall, sliding gradually down to the ground as her head whipped from one of the trio to the other and the other. Her breath heaving in her ears. From Mr. Mortimer’s descriptions, she had imagined something much friendlier. Than again, she also had never imagined Mr. Mortimer was dead.
“No more running,” Mr. Gracey said with a sneer.
Right as she could see the hem of the maid’s dress a few feet from her eyes, she shut them tight. Waiting for…something to happen. The uncomfortable nothing that followed made her squint her eyes open once more.
They were just standing there. Waiting.
“You...really don’t need to do that….” Mr. Gracey said, frowning down at her.
“Do….what?” She breathed, finally releasing the breath she’d been holding in.
He raised an eyebrow at her. “Act as though you’re about to face your own execution.”
“Well how am I supposed to react then?! You make a show of…of forming yourself all angry like that and just…” She stammered. Her nerves were too frazzled for this. “I only just avoided a bunch of statues grabbing me and…! And that Ghost Host taunting me and….and the running and…and earthquakes…”
She looked up at him again with the strongest glare she could muster. Solomon looked unimpressed.
“I don’t care what Mr. Mortimer says about you. You could have at least told me what you’re going to do to me after you finish chasing me! I don’t know what you want!”
“What I want is for you to leave my house.”
She gave a side glance to his posse before turning back to him. “Alive or dead?” She said, with no small amount of sarcasm in it.
“Considering that dead would result in you NOT leaving my house, I would assume you already have your answer,” he said, the sarcasm almost as equally strong.
She exhaled through her nose. “Then you could have just told me that like a normal person!”
“Honestly, all of you dead people don’t even remember how to act nicely…” she muttered under her breath as an aside to herself.
He must have heard that, because he stiffened considerably and looked more than a bit miffed.
“It’s done on purpose, child,” his eyes narrowed at her, “Just a little intimidation to scare you from any ideas about ever coming back. I will admit, though, you reacted a bit stronger than I anticipated...”
“Well yeah! Because you’ve just wasted your time! I’ve already seen PLENTY to convince me to never come back to this horrible place ever again! Evil murderous invisible men, statues that chase you, people coming out of the walls, falling down giant chasms full of staircases-“
“You fell down that infinite stairway?” The woman interrupted, looking more than a little bit concerned.
“Yes. Not long after I met you back in that other hallway,” she said, jutting out her chin accusingly at Mr. Gracey.
To Solomon’s credit, he looked downright horrified. Which was a nice change from his usual sour demeanor.
“Good lord, is that where you went previously? Are you all right?” He asked.
“Yes….No…I mean. I don’t know! I’m alive and everything seems to work…”
He gave a sigh that suggested both relief and frustration. “This is exactly the reason you need to leave. It’s too dangerous for the living to go skipping about these halls without a care in the world. Now child, if you wo-“
“Karen.”
“I beg your pardon?”
She stared him down, unflinching even as she held the gaze of those eerily, glow-y blues. At this point, she was beyond tired of getting pushed around by ghosts.
“My name is Karen. Karen Anderson. And I’m eighteen.”
“How good for you,” he said with a wry smile. “And I am well over a hundred. So you’ll have to forgive me if I cannot help but see you as a child, Miss Anderson. Nonetheless, I do apologize if I have caused you any offense. I meant it merely as a descriptor, and not as any indication that you are somehow lesser.”
One hand folded behind his back and the other hand over his heart, he gave her a short incline of his head.
“Allow us, further, a chance for introductions. I am Solomon Gracey, and this is my family estate. Primary estate, that is.”
He gestured to the other two spirits. “My associates….”
“Abigail Galloway,” The maid said, giving her a polite smile that would feel friendly if it didn’t seem a little too polite.
“Edgar Galloway,” The butler said, making neither a bow nor a smile. For all the world, he seemed straight up bored. After regarding her carefully with a quick glance, he went right back to stand there with a distant gaze.
By the shapes of their faces, and their matching names, eyes, and hair, the two were most definitely related.
Solomon coughed, and her attention returned to him. He offered a hand. She stared at it blankly.
His lips twisted a bit into a mischievous, almost boyish smirk. “To help you to your feet. Which I know are still working…because I just saw you use them.”
She opened her mouth to give a smart aleck retort, but realized she had nothing. So she begrudgingly took his hand instead. Freezing cold, like ice. Something she had already come to expect by now.
“Come along, then,” he said, releasing her as soon as she was steady on her feet to turn and walk down the way he originally came.
She could feel the two servants pressing closer to her; they weren’t going to give her an opportunity to disobey.
They walked silently and casually. Karen couldn’t shake off the feeling that their pace was measured and set specifically for her, because any hesitance on her part was met and matched by them. Even Solomon, who was facing forward, seemed to eerily slow-down whenever she did. That did more to evidence the fact that this was a supernatural situation than even their appearance; unlike Mr. Mortimer, who had a skeletal, glowing visage to him, these three people seemed to make every effort to give off the illusion they were alive.
“Um…” she started, looking at the back of Mr. Gracey’s head.
When he did not pay her heed, she turned to the maid beside her instead. Abigail smiled with a strange mixture of motherly affection, strict politeness, and a tinge of pity.
“Something wrong?” She asked.
“What about Mr. Mortimer?”
Abigail frowned. “What about him?”
Karen looked nervously towards the back of Solomon’s head and then back to Abigail.
“The Ghost Host trapped him in a portrait in a stairwell.”
Solomon spun quickly to face her, forcing the party to halt.
“Claude did what?”
Rumbling in the walls nearest to her made her ease a step back. The boards shook, but it wasn’t nearly as disorienting or terrifying as before.
She could see his hand shaking, fingers slowly furling into a fist then releasing. The walls seem to respond to that, working up in a frenzy with each tremble of his hand, getting stronger with every moment they closed in on themselves. And finally settling down, when his fingers gently unfurled themselves to a relaxed state.
“Miss Anderson…” he said, his voice struggling towards calm, “Would you…be so kind as to describe what this stairwell looked like?”
“Um…” her body tensed a moment, regardless of the fact that he was clearly not angry at her. “Narrow...creaky old wood steps…thin railings… and it was all enclosed by purple striped pattern on the walls. It was down that way…”
She gestured vaguely the way she came.
Mr. Gracey listened intently to her, face as expressionless as he could obviously muster.
“Edgar,” he said.
“Sir,” Edgar replied.
But when Karen turned to look at the butler, he was gone. She turned to look towards Abigail, who smiled politely back at her.
“He’s gone to help Mr. Mortimer,” she said.
“More of a courtesy to him,” Mr. Gracey said, and already he had turned to continue on. “Mr. Mortimer is powerful; he’s likely already freed himself by now. Something like this could only ever hold him temporarily, where lesser souls would be forced to spend weeks. Which means Edgar is mostly only going to inform Mr. Mortimer that you’re safely with us.”
“So…he’ll be okay?” At the maid’s non-verbal urging, she followed Solomon.
“He’ll be just fine. Don’t worry,” Abigail said.
They walked in silence after that; Karen was given time to think things over as they passed oak doors and flickering electric lights caked in cobwebs.
The taste of licorice. The smell of roses. These were sensations that had been clinging to her from the moment the spirits appeared. The soft sigh of birds singing disappeared when Edgar vanished.
Claude too. It dawned on her that whenever the Ghost Host was around, she’d feel a tingling down her spine. Mr. Mortimer always seemed to carry the smell of the sea. And the statue had that horrible burnt smell.
Spirits, it seemed, came with some sort of identifying sense.
She broke out of her reverie when they stepped into a room bathed in a familiar dull blue-green light. A slight panic bubbled up within her at the sight of stairways going any which way possible.
“Wait…why are we here? What are we doing??” The panic snuck into her voice too.
“This is the fastest way back to the foyer,” Mr. Gracey replied, before taking a stairway straight down.
As in, the stairway was literally going vertically down, with the ghost before her now walking with his form completely horizontal.
The maid seemed prepared to press her towards the same path, but she balked and backed up.
“I thought you said you wouldn’t kill me!” she accused, looking back and forth between Abigail and Solomon.
“We aren’t trying to,” Solomon said, already having turned to look up at her. Neither his tone nor his face suggested maliciousness.
“Then what do you call this?!” She gestured to the sheer drop.
“Looks can be deceiving,” he walked towards her, his hands clasped neatly behind his back. “It’s ironic that mortals, so grounded in reality, would fall prey so easily to the illusions of the dead. You trust your eyes too much; not all believing comes from seeing.”
On that advice, Karen took an experimental step. She could feel her weight shifting, her stomach dropping with the gravity, her body threatening to fall forward, and every nerve in her body screaming at her that this was suicide. Her mind “helpfully” played out for her the fresh memory of her fall in her head.
“No…No I can’t do this. I can’t do this!” She made to back away several steps, but Abigail kept her in place.
Karen turned to her. “Please, I can’t do this! I ca-”
“It’s all right.”
“Don’t make me do this, please! Don-“
“Miss Anderson,” Mr. Gracey said, and he was already back on their stairway. The stairway with the CORRECT stairway orientation.
“Please, I just had a fall, I can’t—“
“You won’t fall. And if you do, I’ll catch you.” Mr. Gracey said.
“I can’t! I know gravity when I feel it! That isn’t just a trick of the eyes!”
“Miss Anderson, please. You won’t fall. I give you my word: As long as you remain with me, I won’t let you die.”
She looked from the maid still holding her to Gracey, who gave her a small smile of reassurance.
That did not make her feel better. She turned to Abigail, and there must have been pleading in her eyes because Karen could see her slowly relent.
“Here,” Abigail said kindly, turning her around. The feeling of cold fingers on her eyes. Karen’s sight went dark.
“Wha-?”
“Just step to the edge,” Abigail whispered at her ear. It was a bit unnerving to know that ghosts had frigid cold fingers, yet somehow (someway) managed to have hot breath. As if ‘breathing’ was even a thing with them.
“But I ca-“
“Just relax and step towards the edge. I’ll let you know when you’ve arrived there. If you cannot stand to go further than the edge, then we’ll find another way,” her voice had hints of softness despite the formal tone, “But try this first.”
“And if you’re just leading me straight off…?” It was a doubtful statement, but one that still managed to worm into the back of her mind.
“She’s not,” Mr. Gracey said.
She took a few experimental steps forward, completely blind. Solid wood met her feet each time.
“It’s all right; go a little further,” Abigail encouraged.
So she took a few more steps, larger steps this time, and still met solid wood. She also met with the realization that her ghostly companions made no footsteps; only HER steps rang against the chasm-like walls.
And yet, they HAD to still be there; she could still feel ice fingers covering her eyes. Her eyelids, in fact, were getting a little numb from it.
She took a few steps further, smaller this time because she was quite sure the edge would be there, and yet once again met with solid wood. Perhaps the direction change was farther along the path than it originally looked. Dimensions really were difficult to discern when you couldn’t see a thing.
“Where’s the drop? Is it much farther?”
“Keep going; we aren’t quite there yet. Take a few more full steps.”
She did as she was told, her shoulders heaving as her anxiety calmed down. And she continued to walk (tapping her foot experimentally in front of her before putting all her weight into it), until Abigail suddenly tugged her back a bit to stop her.
She could hear a door slam shut behind her, and she twisted to escape Abigail’s grasp. The maid let her go without a fight.
…Karen blinked. She stared at the sight long enough for Mr. Gracey to delicately raise an eyebrow at her.
“Are you all right?” He questioned, and there was a tug at the very corner of his lips that threatened to tease over into slight amusement.
Gobsmacked, she stared at him, then back to the scene in front of her.
She was in the first hallway. The very FIRST hallway. The hallway where the Ghost Host took Michael away from her.
“But…the stairway…” She looked around and spotted a door in the dark corner of the hall, across the way from the stretching room. She was sure she had tried that same door much earlier that night; it had been locked before then.
“You already made it through. Alive, no less. I guess we’re not very good at killing people, are we?”
His voice was dripping in sarcasm, and it both irked and amused her to the point where she, again, tried to find a clever response.
But her mental exercise was interrupted as the aforementioned door banged back open with much enthusiasm.
Nell Jackson, green pinstripe dress and all, stood in the doorframe, excitement frozen on her face at the sight of Karen as if she weren’t quite expecting her. Karen was sure the ghosts would remark on this, but they stood still and said nothing.
“Oh is it a party?” Nell cheerfully said, bounding into the room and shutting the door behind her. Karen caught a glimpse of twisted staircases encased in green light.
“Nell, what’s that all over your dress?” Abigail sternly said.
“Hm?” Nell picked a speck of dull grey from her apron. “Oh. It’s just a bit of sand.”
She did a twirl with gleeful grin on her face, and the sand fell off all in a circle around her.
“NELL!” Abigail cried, looking insulted.
“What??”
“The carpet!”
Nell looked down at the ground, faux inspecting the carpet.
Karen did a double take. Had there ALWAYS been carpet in this hallway? She thought there had only been floorboards before.
“Good news! The carpet doesn’t seem harmed by it.” Nell said.
“You’re still going to pick that up, young lady,” Abigail seethed through her teeth.
“I can do that later.”
“Nell.”
“What? It isn’t like the sand is going anywhere. Sand isn’t sentient…” a beat, “…I think.”
Abigail gave a pointed look at Solomon, who in turn looked a little uncomfortable.
“It’s just sand, Abigail. It won’t stain,” he said.
Abigail gave him a hard stare akin to betrayal, and he coughed before venturing into the stretching room.
“Come along chil- erm, Miss Anderson.”
She made to follow him, but dust and ash swept across the floor, and as she stood to watch she saw Edgar appear from the flurry.
“Edgar! Perfect timing. Help me clean up this sand,” Nell said, smiling.
Edgar gave one, long, bored stare at the mess on the ground before returning to a flurry of dust and ashes, particles picking up particles and the sand coalescing right into him.
“What? No! Edgar, stop that!” Abigail said.
Edgar half formed himself, just enough so that his face was showing. Eyebrows raised at Abigail in quiet confusion.
“Thank you, Edgar. You’re the best!” Nell smiled cheerfully at him.
“Nell, you needed to clean up the mess.” Abigail said.
“As long as it’s clean, why does it matter? And really, I wouldn’t have ever been able to do it that fast. Besides, Edgar doesn’t mind. Do you, Edgar?”
“I don’t care.” Edgar said, glassy bored look already returning to his features as he reformed himself.
“You see? It all works out!” Nell gestured towards Edgar.
Abigail gave a long-suffering sigh. “You disappoint me, Nell.”
“Well that isn’t unusual.”
“Nell…” Abigail sighed again, before finally turning to Karen and gestured her to enter the next room.
Karen gulped away her questions under the gaze of the still-irritated Abigail and went inside; the silly little drama of what she just saw was in stark contrast to the life threatening fear the Ghost Host had constantly subjected her to.
Solomon Gracey was waiting for them in the center of the room. He nodded in acknowledgement as the rest of the party joined him.
And what a stark contrast that was here as well. The room had changed since she’d last seen it; the differences were minor, yet remarkable in how they affected the mood. The gargoyles looked less threatening due to the fact that the room was lit up brighter, and the portraits had reverted back to their original, un-stretched appearance. It was just as cold as earlier, but infinitely less creepy. She couldn’t feel the gaze of the hanging man hidden above them, and the general air didn’t feel nearly as oppressive as a result.
As strange as it was, she felt safer, in spite of the fact that this time she walked alongside practical strangers.
They came back to the foyer, and as she turned to look behind her she paused.
“….Wasn’t the portrait room on the other side?”
It was true. She distinctly remembered Michael and herself being forced by the Ghost Host into a room to the left of Solomon Gracey’s portrait. Yet as they exited this very same room, they came out to the right of the portrait.
She checked; nothing but a blank wall to the left of Solomon’s painted visage.
“Ah. Well you see…” Abigail said, hesitant.
“The house moves rooms,” Nell interjected, grinning excitedly as she hoisted herself up one of the cabinets, “Isn’t it cool?”
“The house does what?” Mouth open and eyes wide, Karen stared back at her. The word ‘cool’ was the furthest thing from her mind.
“What the house does or does not do is of no concern to you. You’ll be on your way back to town shortly…as soon as we find your friend,” The actual Solomon turned towards her, “There is another mortal roaming around the house, correct?”
“Y-yeah… My boyfriend, Michael. We were separated when that Ghost Host dragged him underneath the floorboards.”
A flick of anger on his face sprung up before fading into sympathy.
“I am sorry about that. That filth is known to do things like that,” his stare towards her hardened just a tad, “I do hope this act as a lesson to you both not to intrude upon old houses, even if you think they’re abandoned.”
Now it was her turn to get a little angry. “We weren’t intruding!! We were just….we were just lost! And it was raining! And…”
She caught sight of Nell, happily sitting on the counter and eating from a jar of cookies. The sight irritated her a little more.
“And she!” Karen pointed an accusing finger at Nell. “She said we could come visit her if it ever started raining!”
All three ghosts slowly turned to look at Nell, who suddenly stopped mid bite. Both Abigail and Solomon had their eyebrows raised in the same exasperated expression. Edgar just continued to look bored.
Nell, still mid bite, looked from both Karen to the spirits and back again, before raising her head solemnly.
“Well I never said you could come in.” Nell said, quickly eating the remainders of her cookie as defiantly looking as she could.
“Wha—“ Karen began to protest, but Nell cut her off by wagging her finger towards her.
“Ah ah ah! I never said you both could come in! Now did I, Edgar? Edgar was there; what did I say to them, Edgar?”
The other two ghosts now turned their exasperated sights on Edgar, who took it in stride by looking especially bored.
“’If you’re ever in an unfortunate rainstorm, you’re more than welcome to hide underneath our awning.’” Edgar quoted.
Nell was triumphant as she turned back to Karen. “There, you see? I never gave you permission to use the front door, now did I?”
Karen glared at her.
Abigail, meanwhile, glared at Edgar
“You never thought to inform us of this?”
Edgar, with an utterly neutral expression, simply replied, “It did not seem important.”
“Edgar,” Abigail seethed.
“Nell,” Solomon groaned, rubbing his forehead.
“Master Gracey,” Nell said, tone treating the name-calling like a game.
“None of this ‘Master Gracey’. We talked about this,” Solomon said, looking a little more irritated, “You are not my servant and I am not your employer.”
“As you say, sir.”
Solomon grumbled on his way to a cabinet that looked like it had a wooden, intricate box built on top of its surface. When he took out a glass with a bulge in it and a strange, ornate decanter filled with eerie green liquid, Karen assumed it to be some sort of cubby hole for drinks.
“Abigail, Edgar,” he gestured to them aimlessly as he set up some extravagant drink that involved a strainer, what looked like a cube of sugar, water, and that sickly green stuff. “Could one of you be so kind as to find that other wayward mortal?”
“As you wish, sir,” Edgar stated, and he faded nearly instantly into whispy ash before vanishing completely.
“I could go too,” Nell offered.
“No, Nell. If I know you, you’d only hinder any effort to actually retrieve him.”
Solomon settled into an armchair that Karen swore hadn’t been there a moment ago. It was only a handful of feet away from the fireplace, and so faded that you only just barely make out its deep red color.
“What you could do, instead,” Solomon continued, “Is to get rid of that uniform and wear....well whatever it is modern mortals wear these days. Jeans and t-shirts, if I recall the words correctly.”
“You let Abigail go around in the uniform, even though she’s not your servant anymore either…”
Nell crossed her arms, but the ghost of a smile on her lips suggested that this had been brought up before. And her eyes occasionally darting towards Karen brought with it the implication that she was only mentioning it for the benefit of their guest.
Sure enough, Solomon stiffed in his chair, and Abigail looked just as equally uncomfortable as she busied herself with straightening papers on a nearby shelf.
“Nell,” Solomon warned, his tone deeper now.
“Alright, alright. I see how it is.”
Nell made to cross the room, but lingered out of Solomon’s sight. Karen caught sight of her gesturing to get her attention before pointing to the two ghosts, bringing her two fists to gently bump into each other while making a kissy face and giving a wink.
Karen stared hard back. What the hell did the girl expect her to do with this information?
Her staring morphed to horror when Nell took off her maid’s headpiece and made a sign as if to throw it at Solomon. Before Karen even had a chance to vocalize a sound, the headpiece went flying, phased straight through the middle of Solomon’s forehead, and landed quite obviously in front of him.
“Head shot! Yes!” Nell said while she fist pumped the air.
Solomon angrily shot out of the chair and spun to face Nell.
“Going, going, gone!” Nell said, grinning in that guiltless nervous way people get when they’re caught doing something they shouldn’t.
She quickly exited out a door so hidden by the darkness that it was a wonder if it had itself materialized like these ghosts were known to do.
Solomon sighed, his anger abating as he settled back down in the chair and stared wistfully at his drink.
“God, I wish alcohol still affected me,” he muttered as he took a sip.
As he lowered his drink, he seemed to notice Karen was still standing. He motioned to the faded couch next to him.
“You’re allowed to sit, you know,” he said, smirking a little, “I imagine you’d need it after that self-induced workout you gave yourself while trying to evade us earlier.”
Karen clamped her mouth shut, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of a response even as her face burned a little out of embarrassment. She officially hated ghosts.
She instead focused her complete attention to the dead embers lying in the fire, her hands absentmindedly rubbing against her arms.
“Are you cold?” Abigail asked, coming back towards them.
“A little…”
“I imagine any mortal would feel quite cold around here,” Solomon said, getting up to move towards the fireplace.
“I’ve got that, sir,” Abigail curtly interrupted.
Solomon moved back to his chair, palms raised in surrender with a slightly amused smile on his face, “As you say, Abigail. Thank you.”
The fireplace roared up in a flicker of odd green flames, and the room began to grow wonderfully warmer. The remnants of anxiety faded as she sank into the couch, relaxation causing her mind to drift a bit. She felt the weight of exhaustion start to consume her, and she idly wondered what time it was. Her eyes wandered about, but were no apparent clocks anywhere on the walls.
She considered Solomon’s drink on the table near her. It didn’t have its greenish hue; it was more of a milky white with only a hint of green, and already halfway gone.
“How do ghosts even drink?” She asked in her absentminded state.
“Very carefully,” Solomon replied, with both sarcasm and a smile.
“But you can’t get drunk…”
“Such is the tragic nature of not having a body to intoxicate.”
“So what’s the point?”
Solomon took a sip, and made a show of smacking his lips as he stared into the pale liquid.
“Nostalgia,” He said, putting the glass back on the table.
She stared at the drink. “What even is that?”
“Absinthe,” he said, “Or the Green Fairy, as it was once known.”
He seemed to regard her as she remained transfixed by the glass.
“…Would you care for some?”
Her eyes grew wide at the offer.
“I’m only eighteen! Also, doesn’t...that stuff...cause hallucinations?”
Solomon’s smile bent at the edges a bit, and he looked towards Abigail. She was neatly standing near the other end of the couch from them both; she had been so silent that Karen had temporarily forgot she was even there.
“While I won’t lie; there were plenty of things we consumed back then that probably caused hallucinations,” Abigail stood with her hands clasped behind her back, a small quirk to the side of her lips, “But absinthe was not one of them.”
“At least, it’s not possible to get that effect with any amount you could feasibly drink,” he smiled bitterly, “Trust me on this.”
“This may be one of your only chances to try it,” Abigail added, “Since, currently, it’s very much misunderstood in America. That’s where your hallucination idea comes from.”
Karen looked back at the drink, her stomach queasy just staring at it.
“I…” she started. Solomon held up a hand to stop her.
“Please don’t feel like you have to drink it. You will not be missing much, I promise. It’s just another alcoholic drink, and you can get plenty of those once you’re older. I personally find it rather ridiculous that they increased the drinking age, but I respect that you aren’t comfortable with this. And if it will make you feel better…”
He made to get up, but Abigail was already on her way back to the drink cabinet. So he sat back down with a nearly unreadable (but distinctly defeated) expression.
The maid returned with something that looked just like Solomon’s glass; milky white. She offered it to Karen, but Karen hesitated to take it.
“This one isn’t alcoholic,” Abigail explained, “It’s made by a brewery in France, on special request and using the same kind of anise. As a result, it doesn’t taste exactly the same, but it has some of the same notes…”
Karen stared at it, wondering if she could not find shapes within the milky white liquid. The inkling of an idea had begun to gather at the edges of her mind, but the hazy warm room and the fact that it was likely the dead of night made it difficult to properly think. She kind of wanted to just sleep.
“Pomegranates...” She said.
The ghosts both looked perplexed, briefly side glancing each other before resting their eyes back on her.
She tried to gather her thoughts a little better so she could spit them out.
“In the story, there was a girl who had been kidnapped to the underworld and was tricked into eating the seeds of a pomegranate, forcing her to-“
“-To remain there, trapped, for several months every year. The story of Persephone.” Abigail smiled, “It is good to hear that present day mortals are still taught classic Greek mythology.”
“But your concern is a little misplaced,” Solomon added, a glint in his eerie blue eyes akin to an adult humoring a young child, “The food and drink here is not somehow magical.”
“And that would also be a little counterproductive to our goal of getting you to leave…”
“Oh yeah…” Karen said, trying to frown away her exhaustion. She partially wished she was still in that bed in the attic.
“Besides, this is not the underworld and I am not Lord Hades.” Solomon said, stealing another sip from his drink before setting it aside.
“This is nothing more than a mansion,” he said, gesturing around him, “which, for better or for worse…just happens to be haunted.”
She nodded to him; it was a bit of a foolish idea. If she had a little coffee, perhaps she would have thought things through a little clearer. Carefully, unwilling to trust herself, she used both of her hands to take the cup from Abigail and brought it to her lips.
….
It tasted of licorice.
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